City Weekly July 20, 2017

C I T Y W E E K LY . N E T

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2017

N0. 8

A-Z Cocktail Guide

By Darby Doyle

Volunteers Needed!

COVER STORY SIP, SIP, CHUG

Let your liver rejoice! Our yearly A-Z celebration of local cocktail culture is here.

Cover photo illustration by the hand of God (plus Derek Carlisle and Enrique Limón)

19

AU

SATURDAY & SUNDAY

GUS

CONTRIBUTOR

4 LETTERS 6 OPINION 8 NEWS 14 A&E 34 DINE 39 CINEMA 41 TRUE TV 42 MUSIC 53 COMMUNITY

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C I T Y W E E K LY . N E T

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COMMENTS@CITYWEEKLY.NET @SLCWEEKLY

@CITYWEEKLY

@SLCWEEKLY

Cover story, July 6, “Save Our Sphinx”

Evidently, there are at least a few of us who either lost or acquired something in our discovery of Gilgal.

Gilgal reminds us of our rich heritage of masonry and Mormonism implicit throughout Utah and the Salt Lake Valley.

Having viewed the cover of the July 6 edition of City Weekly instantly transported me back to my film studies days at the University of Utah wherein one of my projects included various masonic and Mormon symbols from around the area, including Gilgal.

Thanks, Dylan, for an excellent exposé, indeed!

J.R. MILLER,

Mesquite, Nev. I was married to my love under the Alpha Omega rock arch in October 2016. Any time our out-of-town friends visit, we take them to Gilgal. Love it!

PATRICK WEEKS Via cityweekly.net

That place is so cool!

Hits & Misses, July 6, “Chaffetz Replacement”

It’s a “foregone conclusion” that a Republican will win? Only if all media in Utah continues to tell that story. “The media needs to be careful not to tip the scales toward celebrity. As Drake University’s law professor Anthony J. Gaughan notes, Donald Trump won by garnering “relentless media attention.” Read your own story, and stop giving relentless media attention to the Republicans, especially the son of a famous father with zero qualifications. Try being the outspoken and progressive voice you claim to be, City Weekly. How about giving relentless attention to Kathryn Allen—a doctor, a woman and a Democrat— instead of following in the footsteps of publications like say, the Deseret News?

TERESA TATE

Via cityweekly.net

The Straight Dope, July 6, “What did the West do to provoke Islamic hostility?”

Made promises then reneged on them.

Created a power vacuum.

@HOLLADAYCHAMBER Via Instagram

@RANDYNORTHRUP2

Nice job putting Orrin Hatch’s face onto the sphinx. Oh, wait—Orrin is older than the sphinx.

Via Twitter

Salt Lake City

MANUEL PADRO

News, July 6, “A bevy of candidates, including one write-in, aim to fill Chaffetz’ seat”

You guys should stick to writing articles about beer.

MIKE MARTIN,

That was surprisingly insightful and well written. Props to the author and the editor.

Via Facebook

A dead rat could fill that vacancy adequately.

@FREDASCHMAUCH

@_OFTHEFUTURE Via Twitter

The Beer Nerd, July 6, “The Beer Mile”

Via Twitter Ugh, can a 3rd Districter ask not to see that doofus’ face anymore? How ’bout an empty chair?

Salt City Brew Supply is also on 7200 South in the “Beer Mile.” If you fancy yourself a beer need and want to learn how to make it yourself, stop by and see them.

Via Twitter

Via cityweekly.net

@EBETHCRAIG

ROSS METZGER

My husband and I have been going to Hoppers since the day it opened, it has consistently proven to be the go-to place to meet the friendliest people, have family and/friend events and to eat great food … Brock, the manager, is the classiest and most conscientious and genuine person I have known. The regulars are far from “regular,” too—they are awesome!

LYNN A. MARCOUX Via cityweekly.net

17 years into its run as a public park, Gilgal Garden is starting to show its age.

By Dylan Woolf Harris

Love Hoppers. I had my first legal beer there.

MIKE KEENER

I was very disappointed. It tasted like a frozen hamburger patty was used.

Via Facebook

MIKE SARGENT

Dine, July 6, “Battle of the Garlic Burgers”

Via Facebook

I like both [Cotton Bottom Inn and Busy Bee Bar & Grill]. Depends on where you’re at or where you’re going.

BERNIE CRAWFORD Via Facebook

I have to say Cotton Bottom because it was my first.

BRIAN MORTENSEN Via Facebook

Busy Bee. A burger with no fries just feels wrong.

JASON STOCK

After seeing this, we went to Busy Bee to compare. Our waitress told us the garlic burger was identical since they were an offshoot of CB. Sadly, our burger was thin and burned, and nowhere near a Cotton Bottom burger.

REBECCA TURKANIS Via Facebook

… When I worked at another bar, we used to ask if they wanted their burger Busy Beestyle: dropped on the ground and kicked a couple of times and served on a week-old bun.

@VIRGILGLASS

Via Facebook

Via Twitter

Busy Bee, and don’t forget the fries with ketchup and horseradish. Bomb.

THERESA KEOHUNANI TABER

Both. And the crap talk is stupid. Go enjoy local food.

PAUL CLARK

Via Facebook

Via Facebook

You know, both of those places don’t even hit my list anymore. Neither one is really that great. I prefer a Lucky 13 garlic burger over BB or CBI, based on taste and quality.

DOMINICK CAPUTO Via Facebook

Never heard of Busy Bee. I tried Cotton Bottom because they were on a Top 10 list.

Correction: July 12’s “Hits & Misses” incorrectly stated State Treasurer David Damschen is a member of the Seven County Infrastructure Coalition. He is a member of the Permanent Community Impact Fund Board, which in 2014 approved a $5 million grant to the Seven County Infrastructure Coalition.

STAFF Publisher JOHN SALTAS Editorial

Editor ENRIQUE LIMÓN Arts &Entertainment Editor SCOTT RENSHAW Music Editor RANDY HARWARD Senior Staff Writer STEPHEN DARK Staff Writer DYLAN WOOLF HARRIS Copy Editor ANDREA HARVEY Proofers SARAH ARNOFF, LANCE GUDMUNDSEN

Editorial Interns REX MAGANA, JULIA VILLAR Contributors CECIL ADAMS, KATHARINE BIELE, ROB BREZSNY, BABS DE LAY, DARBY DOYLE, BILL FROST, MARYANN JOHANSON, CASEY KOLDEWYN, KATHERINE PIOLI, JOHN RASMUSON, MIKE RIEDEL, STAN ROSENZWEIG, TED SCHEFFLER, ERIC D. SNIDER, ALEX SPRINGER, BRIAN STAKER, LEE ZIMMERMAN

Production

Art Director DEREK CARLISLE Assistant Production Manager BRIAN PLUMMER Graphic Artists VAUGHN ROBISON, JOSH SCHEUERMAN

Business/Office

Technical Director BRYAN MANNOS Developer BRYAN BALE Office Administrators DAVID ADAMSON, ANNA KASER

Circulation

Circulation Manager LARRY CARTER

Associate Business Manager PAULA SALTAS

Marketing

Marketing & Events Director JACKIE BRIGGS Marketing & Events Coordinator SAMANTHA SMITH Street Team ALEXANDRO ALVAREZ-KINNY, BEN BALDRIDGE, AARON ERSHLER, JAZMIN GALLEGOS, ANNA KASER, ADAM LANE, AMELIA PAHL, SYDNEY PHILLIPS, XANDER PRISKOS, LAUREN TAGGE, STEVEN VARGO

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All Contents © 2017

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OPINION

Slogans and Mottos

“It’s Rasmuson’s opinion time!”

That’s one of the “catchy slogan ideas” from a slogan generator at shopify.com. I typed in “Rasmuson’s opinion,” and I got 1,076 options like these: “Unzip a Rasmuson’s opinion.”

“I’m not going to pay a lot for Rasmuson’s opinion.”

“Give the dog a Rasmuson’s opinion.”

“Rasmuson’s opinion—the secret of women.”

It was not women’s secrets that got me thinking about slogans. It was this paragraph in The New York Times: “Fox News is ‘Fair and balanced’ no more. In the latest sign of change at the cable news network, the ‘Fair and balanced’ motto that has long been a rallying cry for Fox News fans—and a finger in the eye of critics—is gone. The channel confirmed on Wednesday that slogan and network have parted ways.”

Catching my eye were the nouns “slogan” and “motto” used interchangeably as if they meant the same thing. In Rasmuson’s opinion, they don’t, even if the mighty New York Times intimates they do. Take the state of Utah as an example. “Industry” is the state motto; “Life elevated” is its slogan. I don’t see how one can be substituted for the other.

Neither can the Boy Scouts’ “Be prepared” motto stand in for its slogan, “Do a good turn daily.” They are not the same.

The Scout motto dates to 1907, more than 20 years after the Marine Corps adopted “Semper fidelis” (always faithful) as its motto. The Corps’ slogan, “The few, the proud, the Marines,” replaced “We’re looking for a few good men” in the 1980s. The slogan is primarily a recruiting tool, a marketing tagline. On the other hand, “Semper fidelis” is like most

BY JOHN RASMUSON mottos. It is at once a secret handshake, a marriage vow, a rallying cry and a code of conduct. When a Marine says “Semper fi,” it is usually in a reverential tone.

The tendency is to think of slogans as having a marketing bent, as being an expression of an organization’s desire to sell itself or its products. The Marine Corps needs recruits.

Utah wants tourists to sample “Life elevated” (above the smog layer). Lay’s bets the eating of one potato chip will lead to a bag binge. Not all slogans are promotional, however.

Some are aspirational. Think of Nancy Reagan’s “Just say no” anti-drug campaign, and Smokey Bear’s earnest mantra, “Only you can prevent forest fires.” In June, when Sen. Mitch McConnell uncloaked his repeal-and-replace health care bill, the American Medical Association criticized it by acting on its motto—“Helping doctors help patients”— while invoking a slogan. The doctors’ association said: “Medicine has long operated under the precept of ‘Primum non nocere,’ or ‘First, do no harm.’ The draft legislation violates that standard on many levels.”

Slogans are crafted to stick in your mind and influence the choices you make. I have to admit that slogans I first heard on a black-and-white Zenith television are still with me. Many are breakfast cereals. The “Snap, crackle and pop” of Rice Krispies; Wheaties, “The breakfast of champions,” and Tony the Tiger’s ebullient roar, “They’re grr-reat!” The millennial generation won’t remember “I’d walk a mile for a Camel cigarette” or “See the USA in your Chevrolet,” but they are sure to recall Nike’s “Just do it” and Capital One’s “What’s in your wallet?”

Some slogans are as smart as Kay Jeweler’s “Every kiss begins with Kay.” Others are memorable because they are unapologetically dopey. “Please don’t squeeze the Charmin” is a case in point. A few are in a category of their own, as is Hunter Thompson’s gonzo-journalist slogan, “When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.”

Which brings us to Donald Trump. The president takes

credit for coining “Make America great again,” the campaign slogan that resonated with the disaffected. In fact, he cribbed it from Ronald Reagan’s 1980 campaign. Bill Clinton also used the MAGA phrase occasionally in 1992, but called Trump’s use of it last year a “racist dog whistle.” So it goes with politicians. Not all political slogans have such a long run. In 1974, confronting an annual inflation rate of 12 percent, President Gerald Ford announced a “Whip inflation now” initiative replete with red-white-and-blue WIN buttons. It quickly sank out of sight in a swamp of ridicule.

Some slogans grow threadbare from use and are discarded like a sweater with holes in the elbows. “Fair and balanced” has been replaced by “Most watched, most trusted” at Fox News. The Army retired its widely admired “Be all you can be” after two decades of service. The replacement, “Army of one,” lasted five years before yielding to “Army strong” in 2006. That same year, Utah spent $14 million on the “Life elevated” marketing campaign that eased “The greatest snow on Earth” into small print.

Mottos are more durable than slogans. “Semper fidelis” has been in place since 1883. That it is rendered in Latin, the language of Caesar, might be a status-granting factor.

Of the 28 states that have mottos in languages other than English, 22 use Latin. (If Utah’s was “Industria,” you can bet your elevated life that one of our crusading legislators would be pushing to ’Mericanize it.) Latin or no, the national motto, “E pluribus unum” (meaning, “From many, one”), is coming undone. Unless we can end the war of attrition between them and us, we’re stalemated at E pluribus duo (From many, two) with no chance to make America great again.

Rasmuson’s concluding opinion? We should take a cue from Maryland’s motto “Fatti maschii, parole femine” with its balance of “manly deeds” and “womanly words.” CW Send feedback to comments@cityweekly.net

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BY KATHARINE BIELE

FIVE SPOT

RANDOM QUESTIONS, SURPRISING ANSWERS

STAN ROSENZWEIG

HITS&MISSES @kathybiele

The Health Issue

Utah values. That’s the mantra, but no one seems to be able to define the term— unless they venture into the churchstate issue, the anti-vaccination movement or even the return of the Red Scare.

Envision Utah tried, but came up with a matrix not for the faint of heart. Now we have the State Board of Education arguing—again—about sex education and whether it draws a straight line to socialism. We are not making this up, and it should underline the wisdom of getting to know who your state board members are and what they stand for. Apparently, Lisa Cummins thinks Utah school children are at risk of “severe mental health issues of anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder,” The Salt Lake Tribune reports. And, yeah, she’s worried about “expanding socialism.” She and Alisa Ellis were the two no-votes for reviewing health standards, and apparently against sex ed.

Not Up for Debate

The hapless Democrat in the 3rd Congressional District race missed a monumental chance to show us what she’s made of. Maybe Kathie Allen opted out of the July 11 debate because she thought the audience, hosted by the conservative group Americans for Prosperity, would not be receptive to her views. But if reports from The Salt Lake Tribune and Deseret News are correct, there were basically no views for the audience to receive.

Provo’s Daily Herald tried like a champ to come up with some differences among the GOP candidates, focusing on health care, and all they came up with was a whole lot of contempt for government. Surprise, surprise. Candidates and media, this was not a debate. It should be someone’s job to eke out substantive comments on real issues from the candidates. The moderator, conservative talk show host Rod Arquette, didn’t. Neither did the media.

Your Turn

It was a week of wins for transparency. Now residents just need to rise to the occasion. First, a 3rd District Court judge ruled that the Mountain Accord was subject to open meetings laws. The Deseret News noted that the Accord has morphed into the Central Wasatch Commission, which wants to figure out how to manage the Wasatch Mountain area. The County Council, meanwhile, called for an audit of the Accord’s finances. In a separate action, Rep. Jefferson Moss, R-Saratoga Springs, wants a bill to clarify for residents where their user fees are going, a Salt Lake Tribune story says. Cities have long used user fees as cover for tax increases, and they often move that money into the general fund. Residents gripe but really can’t follow the money.

Retired Army officer Carl Churchill is no longer in uniform, but he and his wife, Lori, now serve in a different way at their Cottonwood Heights café, Alpha Coffee, at the mouth of Big Cottonwood Canyon.

CW: You served multiple tours of duty overseas before retiring. What is your Utah background and what got you started in a military career?

CC: I was born in Germany and grew up all over the world in a military family. We moved to Utah in the mid-’70s when my dad got stationed at Ft. Douglas. I graduated from Alta High School and enlisted in the Army as a private. I was awarded an Army scholarship and went through Army ROTC at the University of Utah.

So you went to college at the U, advancing your military career and your education.

Yes. First, I graduated with two undergraduate degrees as a distinguished military scholar, and then proudly served for 21 years with the support of my amazing wife, where I earned a master’s in strategic intelligence from the National Intelligence University and an Executive MBA from the University of Utah. I did multiple combat deployments and served with the 9th Infantry Division, 3rd Infantry Division, 1st Armored Division, Special Operations Command and multiple military intelligence organizations until I retired as a lieutenant colonel.

You went from military service to coffee service. What’s the connection?

As Lori and I had always done, we sat down over coffee to discuss as a team what the way forward was after military service. We decided we wanted to combine our passion for highquality coffee with our passion to give back to the military community. So, on Sept. 11, 2010, we started an online company selling coffee directly to customers, and for every order sold, we sent the equivalent of a cup of coffee to deployed troops. We’ve since sent over 10,000 bags of coffee to deployed troops around the world. At the urging of customers, friends and neighbors, we opened our first coffee shop on the corner of Racquet Club Drive and Fort Union Boulevard in Cottonwood Heights, and the response has been overwhelming.

What do you do for fun, besides drink coffee?

We are a family who loves fitness and the outdoors. We’re avid skiers, climbers, hikers, mountain bikers, campers, off-road enthusiasts and shooting enthusiasts. Lori and I are very proud of our daughter, Denai, who is at the University of Utah, and of our son, Trevor, who has just deployed overseas as a Utah National Guardsman with the 19th Special Forces Group.

Trevor and Denai seem to be following your core values of fun and service.

Our mission statement says it all: 1. Awesome coffee; 2. Be a warrior and always do the right thing; 3. Have fun; 4. Give back.

—STAN ROSENZWEIG comments@cityweekly.net

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BY CECIL ADAMS SLUG SIGNORINO

STRAIGHT DOPE The First Loaf No other question bothers me as much as this one: How did bread come about? I can imagine a pig falling into fire inspiring steaks, or a forgotten stash of grapes found in a time of extreme drought being the idea for wine. But how would anyone see some grain growing and decide they have to reap it, dry it, pulverize it, mix it with water, let it sit, and on and on all the way to a loaf of bread?

—Anna Entrambasaguas Try this on for size, Anna: It’s evidence of a divine plan.

Bread is surely among the most obvious food products on Earth. (How obvious? I’ll get to that.) I’m not saying our Cro-Magnon ancestors, on first noticing amber waves of grain, immediately thought: Whoa, artisanal baguettes! There were, naturally, some intervening steps. But none of them required any great insight, the addition of yeast possibly excepted. I’m confident that if I gave you a sheaf of harvested wheat and said, here, kid, make something edible out of this, you’d succeed after some trial and error in coming up with a serviceable if unleavened … well, “loaf” might be a bit grand. But I bet you’d cook up a fair approximation of a graham cracker.

And yes, you’d grind the wheat into flour because you had prior knowledge that’s how it was done. But in principle, it’s not hard.

OK, but how would anyone know to harvest wheat in the first place? Here we might posit the hand of providence. One imagines the Creator thinking: I’d better give these dim beings a way of feeding themselves they can’t possibly overlook. That brings us to the story of wheat, the world’s most obvious crop.

For background we turn to Jared Diamond, one of the Straight Dope’s foundational thinkers, and his landmark work Guns, Germs and Steel (1997).

The (now) 7-plus billion instances of H. sapiens, Diamond informs us, rely for their daily sustenance on a remarkably small number of plants, among them the several domesticated species of wheat, genus Triticum. He writes, “Of the 200,000 wild plant species, only a few thousand are eaten by humans, and just a few hundred of these have been more or less domesticated.”

Of those, Diamond continues, “a mere dozen species account for over 80 percent of the modern world’s annual tonnage of all crops.” Five of the 12 are cereals, wheat included, which provide more than half of all calories consumed by humans. Wheat is, after corn, the second-most produced crop on Earth.

The mystery deepens, you’re thinking.

With hundreds of thousands of potential wrong turns, how did we find this miracle plant?

Again: trial and error. Ancient huntergatherers, we surmise, were often hungry.

If you’re desperate you’ll eat anything remotely foodlike. Maybe you find something nutritious. Maybe you puke and die.

Either way you’re an example to others. By

such means, hunter-gatherers acquired detailed knowledge of the local flora and fauna. From there it’s no great leap to farming and stock-raising.

Farming requires domesticated plants.

Here it’s helpful to compare wheat with corn (maize). The process by which corn was domesticated is, frankly, baffling.

We’re reasonably sure corn originated as the wild Mexican grass called teosinte and was domesticated in prehistoric times.

But the two plants bear minimal resemblance. How did ancient farmers patiently breed one into the other without knowing what they’d wind up with or whether it’d be worth it? No one knows.

Wheat, in contrast, was easy. The domesticated plant is similar to the wild version, which grew abundantly in the Fertile Crescent, extending from the Mediterranean to the Tigris and Euphrates rivers in Iraq. And you know what? Early farmers doubtless already knew how to make bread out of it, breadmaking being even more obvious than wheat cultivation. Archaeological evidence shows European huntergatherers had been grinding primitive flour (typical ingredient: cattails) for at least 20,000 years before wheat domestication, circa 9000 B.C. Even more providentially, wheat was a component of what Diamond calls a food package (some grains, some legumes, some future livestock), all found in the Fertile Crescent. Collectively, they provided a balanced diet—if you had a food package, you had the makings of civilization. The Fertile Crescent’s food package spread throughout much of the world.

Point is, while the evolution of global food production had its challenges, the invention of bread wasn’t among them. The future staff of life might as well have had “EAT ME” written on it. (OK, writing hadn’t been devised at that point. You know what I mean.) It’s as if a benevolent Force were laying out a development path so obvious even we couldn’t screw it up.

Or not. Confession: I don’t believe in a divine plan, Anna; it was a ruse to walk you through the process of progress. Sure, genius or insane dedication or both have their uses; maybe that’s how we got to corn from teosinte. Other times it’s just ordinary people making no-brainer improvements, one baby step at a time. n

Send questions via straightdope.com or write c/o Chicago Reader, 350 N. Orleans, Chicago 60654.

THE

OCHO

THE LIST OF EIGHT

BY BILL FROST

@Bill _ Frost

Eight potential downtown sites for the relocation of the State Liquor Store on 400 South:

getting mileage out of that one).

7. Library Square—booze, books and bums; natural fit.

300 South, since it already smells like a foot.

5. The vacated Gateway Dick’s Sporting Goods—Utah’s first multi-story booze superstore!

4. ... or the soon-to-be-out-ofbusiness Sears on State—Utah’s first multi-story booze superstore with convenient taco carts!

2. Leave it up to SLC Mayor

Jackie Biskupski—she’ll just move it to South Salt Lake; everybody wins. office because alcohol is no longer allowed because WTF is that about? Unacceptable!

BILINGUAL RADIO BINGO

How about building bridges instead of walls? Third Friday Bingo supports Bilingual Radio in Utah, a bridge between Latino/Spanish and American cultures, as well as others. This is a popular event, sometimes leading to standing-room only. That’s probably because it’s hosted by the amazing and audacious Sparkles del Tassel and Pansy Pap Smear of Matrons of Mayhem: Drag Queen Bingo for Charity in Salt Lake City. This kidfriendly event includes food and concessions, and a $50 contribution gets you a drag makeover. First Baptist Church, 777 S. 1300 East, Friday, July 21, 7-9 p.m., $6 or two for $10; Drag-in-a-Bag, $50, bit.ly/2rQI7qX

MARCH FOR PUBLIC LANDS

Remember those outdoor retailers, the ones who are packing up because Utah can’t commit to its public lands? You can be in-your-face with them on Day 2 of Outdoor Retailer Summer Market 2017, as show attendees and citizens gather for the “This Land is Our Land” March for Public Lands. It’s too late for the Outdoor Retailer show—it’s already headed to Colorado. But you can make a difference “in celebration of the backbone and foundation of the outdoor industry, our federal public lands.” There’s a 45-minute rally with industry leaders, tribal leaders, athletes and policy makers. We’re not sure if Rep. Mike Noel will be able to hear the din of dissatisfaction, but he should be listening. Salt Palace Convention Center, South Plaza, 100 S. West Temple, Thursday, July 27, 4:30-6:30 p.m., free, bit.ly/2r0CmG7

—KATHARINE BIELE

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JULY 20, 2017 | 11

1. Nowhere near the City Weekly

Well, we know the world is full of challenges, but the whole Make America Great Again thing is pushing us back from the future. But innovative thinkers can pitch their ideas with a chance to win a free trip to the Global Finals at Challenge Festival in New York City. You can watch our local startups in action or participate with some 15-20 would-be entrepreneurs taking part in Challenge Cup Salt Lake City, “a worldwide tournament for the most promising, innovative startups to win prizes, make connections and share their vision on a global stage.” Church & State, 370 S. 300 East, 801-901-0459, Thursday, July 20, 6 p.m., free, registration required, bit.ly/2ukSCWQ

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east on West Temple. C’mon, if we all pitch in, we could get everything moved over Pioneer Day weekend.

STAGING FOR THE FUTURE

3. The Eagles Building, one block

CHANGE THE WORLD

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6. The old Planet Fitness on

In a week, you can

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8. The Zephyr Club (yeah, still

CITIZEN REVOLT

HOMELESSNESS

Down by the Rio

Two years shy of its closure, four questions linger on the future of Rio Grande.

BY DYLAN WOOLF HARRIS dwharris@cityweekly.net @dylantheharris

V

ickie Childers, a 65-year-old homeless woman whose blue dress complements her dyed cobalt hair, points with her eyes to a man slouched forward like he’s fallen asleep mid-stride.

“Noodling,” she says openly to a few friends who are sitting on camping chairs near the corner of 300 South and Rio Grande Street. Noodling. It’s a term they use to describe people who, high on spice, go limp and struggle to keep from toppling face-first onto the asphalt.

“I’ve seen people kiss the ground standing up,” says Nicki, a homeless woman from Colorado, who asked that her last name be withheld.

The prevalence of the synthetic drug has earned a segment of the road nicknames: “Spice Alley” and “Spiceland,” denizens say.

Childers won’t touch it. In fact, she hopes she and her 31-year-old daughter, who suffers from mental illness, will be in housing within the year, away from the madness of the streets. The milieu at Rio Grande is startling—its thriving, patent drug market; its sidewalks littered with trash, spent needles and human waste; the perennial reports of violence and overdoses.

It’s no wonder elected leaders—from the city and county mayors, to the sheriff, to the speaker of the House—deem the situation unacceptable and untenable.

And so, in July 2019, officials expect The Road Home to be closed and the streets around it transformed. Two years will allow enough time to build three smaller resource centers (two in Salt Lake City, one in South Salt Lake) and kick-start robust programming that focuses on prevention and rehousing.

It’s the change businesses and property owners have been demanding.

But for the communities who are anticipating those new shelters, the next 24 months could look like a runaway freight train. All the while, neighbors, taxpayers and the homeless alike continue to ask what leaders optimistically envision.

Here are four looming questions leading up to the closure:

STEVEN VARGO

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12 | JULY 20, 2017

NEWS

Scenes like the above are commonplace around the downtown shelter’s perimeter.

What will the new shelters look like?

Here’s what they’ll tell you the new shelters won’t look like: Rio Grande Street.

While the city, county and state prepare to close The Road Home and scatter homeless services through the city and county, leaders are fighting a narrative that the new shelters will emulate its dysfunctional predecessor.

The design and programming in the planned facilities could play a deciding role in whether that bears out.

Last year, local firm Architectural Nexus was contracted by Salt Lake County to draft architectural programming for three homeless service facilities. Among the tasks were determining space requirements, building forms and lot size.

“The big move is that there will be no outside queuing,” says Holli Adams, a principal at Architectural Nexus in charge of civic design. The line of people waiting outside The Road Home to secure a bed for the night is a target for drug peddlers who intermingle with those in need of services. But without a queue, dealers simply won’t blend in.

From the outside, the shelters—likely to be three stories, Adams says—will be smaller than an average three-story apartment building. Each facility will house about a quarter of The Road Home’s 1,000-plus population.

“They should blend in with any neighborhood,” Adams says. “They shouldn’t scream ‘institutional’ and look like a correctional facility. It should be identified

as a home and something that people are used to seeing in their neighborhood.”

Sloping the roofs, for example, and installing residential windows and siding could be the difference between a stale government building and a warm place where people temporarily live.

Inside, the plan is to establish a thorough intake system.

“It’s not like you just walk up to the front door and they stick you in a bed,” Adams says. “Before they allow you to enter the facility, seek a bed or get a meal, there is a screening process— a search process in some instances.

There is a hygiene process.” Clients might be asked to pass their belongings through an oven-like device called a hot box, designed to kill hitching bedbugs.

Some of the facilities will offer small specialized rooms for those who work graveyard shifts and need a place to sleep during the day or require specialized medical equipment at night, or safe spaces for transgender individuals.

How much will the new system cost?

Building three new structures, implementing a voucher program and deploying roving medical services eats money—and a lot of it. But once the walls are erected and the programs are established, ongoing operational costs should be manageable: Less than $80,000 once you subtract state dollars, private donations and tax credits, according to a county report.

The Department of Workforce Services drafted a preliminary budget for the

county that estimated more than $72.4 million in one-time capital costs. The most expensive line-item from that pot of cash is an estimated $40.6 million allocated to building the new facilities.

The same report estimates annual expenses to top $15.7 million.

Those numbers, however, are offset partially by money from the state, donor contributions and federal tax credits. After those are subtracted, the estimated gap is about $77,000 annually and about $13.6 million in one-time starting costs.

More than $2.2 million would be set aside for motel vouchers, $1.9 million for the Midvale family shelter and $480,000 for contingency beds, as well.

DWS Director of Housing and Community Development Division Jonathan Hardy stresses that the analysis is preliminary and that some of the costs will already need to be adjusted. The Road Home, for instance, is relocating homeless families from its downtown facility this month. “Rather than getting hotels, we upped our rapid rehousing program to get them placed into housing,” he says. “We’ve been able to do that probably much cheaper than $1.7 million” that was estimated for family motel vouchers.

A large chunk of money to the tune of $28 million in one-time costs and $2.6 million in ongoing costs is for housing—a component of homeless services officials such as Salt Lake County Mayor Ben McAdams have repeatedly said are vital in the new model.

What do homeless people think of the new model?

What will become of the property on Rio Grande?

This question lingers for now. Shelter the Homeless Executive Director Janell Fluckiger did not respond to City Weekly’s emails or phone calls seeking comment.

In the remaining two years, her group has the potential to dramatically change that area of Salt Lake City—an outcome players such as the Pioneer Park Coalition eagerly await. Expected is that Shelter the Homeless will sell the land and pump the proceeds back into homeless services.

Unknown is what will be built in The Road Home’s footprint. CW

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

Much like the factors that cause homelessness, the opinions of people experiencing it aren’t singular. Members of the small clique of homeless folks who spoke to City Weekly last Friday have an ambivalent relationship with The Road Home.

Drugs and the misery that rides in its wake is reprehensible, they say. Michael, a homeless man from Price who declined to give his last name, rattles from memory a list of deaths and violence he’s witnessed.

“There was a death that occurred out here the other day,” he says. “There was a body lying in the street for a good hour in the sun. The police came, but they didn’t cover him. It was very traumatic.”

Walking to the shelter for the first time about six months ago, Nicki tried to shield her 6-year-old daughter from commonplace sights of the Block. “I started crying,” she says. “I had to come up with interesting explanations why people were taking naps on the sidewalk.”

Michael says he’s concerned about getting to and from town if he’s sleeping in a shelter miles away. And the milling that happens outside the current shelter could be moved to public transportation.

“You’ve got the library down here.

You’ve got a lot of services in the downtown area,” he says. Proximity to public transportation was a key criterion for the

committee that picked the new homeless resource center sites, and the preliminary budget estimates a need of $250,000 annually to pay for bus and Trax tickets plus possible shuttle service.

Havoc aside, Michael, Nicki and Childers speak glowingly of many Road Home staffers and support its mission.

A Road Home bed, Childers notes, is preferable to the unforgiving ground outside. “I think the idea of the shelter is a good thing. Some people mistreat it,” she says.

As for whether the new shelters will become “mistreated,” devolving the surrounding environment into another mess, no one is sure what to expect.

“This one didn’t look like this at one point either,” Nicki says.

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ESSENTIALS

Al Ahad: The Hijab Project The concept of the hijab—the traditional head scarf worn by some Muslim women—as art might seem counter-intuitive, yet it’s exactly this pre-conception that inspired a new exhibit at the Utah Museum of Contemporary Art. According to Ana Antunes, a graduate teaching assistant at the University of Utah’s School of Education, “We developed this idea of how cool it would be ... to use the hijab—which a lot of people feel homogenizes Muslim women—to show uniqueness within this population.”

The “we” she refers to is Al Ahad, a group co-organized by Antunes and several young highschool-age Muslim women to change public perceptions about Islam, and named after an Arabic phrase meaning “indivisible.” Al Ahad conducted surveys of both adults and high school students in the Salt Lake Valley to gauge knowledge of Islam in general, and the hijab in particular.

“We did get a lot of people who think it’s related to gender oppression,” Antunes says.

“But a lot of people kind of talked about themselves, like, ‘I wouldn’t do it,’ or ‘It doesn’t bother me.’ The question was, ‘What do you know?’ and people still felt they needed to share their personal opinions.”

The creations represent attempts by the Al Ahad students to foster perception of the hijab as a personal, independent choice. As 17-year-old Tabarak (whose creation is pictured) shared in an artist statement, “All the negative stereotypes that have been placed on the hijab, as well as Muslim women, are truly sad, but the hijab has made me nothing but stronger.” (Scott Renshaw) Al Ahad: The Hijab Project @ Utah Museum of Contemporary Art, 20 S. West Temple, 801-328-4201, July 21-Nov. 18; artist reception, Aug. 25, 6-9 p.m., $5 donation suggested, utahmoca.org

Complete listings online at cityweekly.net

CAL NEZ

CHARLES UIBEL

ELLY BALDWIN

FRIDAY 7/21

ENTERTAINMENT PICKS, JULY 20-26, 2017

WARNER BROS PICTURES

the

SATURDAY 7/22

MONDAY 7/24

MONDAY 7/24

Following the regular pre-show warm-up on July 22, the Utah Symphony sends John Williams’ ephemeral “Hedwig’s Theme” resounding throughout Deer Valley’s Snow Park Amphitheater, as the words Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone appear on a giant screen.

With the space lit only by the light of the movie, Harry Potter fans young and old gather, ready to watch a very young Daniel Radcliffe receive the Hogwarts letter rescuing Harry from a world devoid of happiness to one filled with love, friendship and magic.

This unique style of performance, particularly on this evening, promises a type of magic in itself. Playing the iconic Harry Potter music— which, for many, has been only heard as a prerecorded soundtrack—the live symphony makes Hogwarts feel real and close at hand.

Taking place just a little more than 20 years after the first edition of J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone was published, this performance is part of Utah Symphony’s multi-year series in which all eight films are featured annually, in sequence. The series started in December 2016 at Abravanel Hall, and this week’s engagement offers a second chance for anyone who missed it. If this component of the Deer Valley Music Festival is anything like the show the symphony delivered in December, it can’t help but live up to its magical potential.

(Casey Koldewyn) Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone in Concert with Utah Symphony @ Deer Valley Snow Park Amphitheater, 2250 Deer Valley Drive, Park City, 801-355-2787 July 22, 7 p.m., $15-$75, utahsymphony.org

Each year, an estimated 250,000 spectators gather to experience the Days of ’47 Pioneer Day parade. But even those who have enjoyed it for years might not appreciate the logistics behind staging the huge—and hugely popular—event.

Asked when planning begins for the following year’s parade, the Days of ’47 board member Kathi Izatt laughs and says, “July 25th.”

That’s only a slight exaggeration, as the parade’s planning committee gathers in August to break down what worked and what might need improvement in coordinating approximately 110 individual entries. The pre-parade lineup area might need changing, Izatt says as an example, if a hotel complains that guest access is being blocked. This year, there’s a logistical plan at Liberty Park for floats as they come off the route or the buses waiting for band members.

Little of that concerns the spectators, many of whom camp out overnight for prime locations— though Izatt encourages checking out less-populated spots in the middle of the route, around 500 or 700 South. Still, as delightful as it is to watch floats make their way down 200 East, it’s another thing entirely to be part of their midnight move from the staging area at South Towne Expo Center to downtown.

“We’re on I-15 in the middle of the night, only going 10-to-15 miles an hour in the HOV lane, semis zipping past,” Izatt says. “Even though we have highway patrol escorts, it’s still one of the most frightening things.” (SR) Days of ’47 Parade @ From South Temple & State Street to 200 East, south to 900 South, then east to Liberty Park (600 E. 900 South), July 24, 9 a.m., free, daysof47.com

It’s somewhat ironic that when the subject of nationalism arises and politicians coin slogans like “America First,” the first Americans are rarely included in the conversation. It’s heartening then that the Native American Celebration in the Park Powwow offers an array of family activities and entertainment, as well as an opportunity to celebrate indigenous peoples’ cultures by bringing the local community together and sharing tradition through song, music, dance, drums, arts and crafts, food and fireworks. Now in its 23rd year, the nonprofit event brings together native people from throughout the country to showcase their skills in an intertribal contest powwow.

Cal Nez, the founder and organizer, says the celebration is about pride and empowerment.

“Our people have lived on this continent before anyone drew boundaries to call states,” Nez explains. “We want to keep our culture alive and strong for generations to come.

Aside from its array of family entertainment and activities, the powwow benefits local businesses, tourism and the city itself. “This celebration has never been about what’s free or paid admissions, who gets the biggest audience, nor about making a profit,” Nez says in describing his desire for support from the corporate community. “We dream of a year where large corporations, the city, the state and tribes can see the value in our effort as a 100 percent Native American-operated event and assist in sponsorship.” (Lee Zimmerman) Native American Celebration in the Park Powwow & Festival @ Liberty Park, 600 E. 1100 South, 801-688-9297, July 24, noon-10 p.m., $5, children under 3 and adults over 65 free, nacippowwow.wixsite.com

Utah Symphony: Harry Potter in Concert

Days of ’47 Parade

Native American Celebration in the Park

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JULY 20, 2017 | 15

RDT’s “By the Snake,” part of the New Century Dance Project program.

16 | JULY 20, 2017

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Francisco Gella and New Century Dance Project connect competitive and concert dance styles.

HELP WANTED We need lots of it!

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Check out our web site to see what we do www.alltradestemp.com.

Apply at:

All Trades Temporary Services 321 East 2100 South | SLC, UT 84115| 801-313-1234 All Trades Staffing 205 East 26th St #14 | Ogden, UT 84401| 801-399-1234

BY KATHERINE PIOLI comments@cityweekly.net

S

tatewide, competitive dance is a big deal. Think little girls caked in makeup and sequins, popping their hips and doing split leaps—it’s flashy and designed to impress judges. Local and national competitions, like the Spotlight Dance Cup, take place in Utah cities throughout the year. From Orem’s Center Stage Performing Arts Studio to Ogden’s Studio 48, dozens of instructors teach kids (mostly young girls) how to turn ballet, hip-hop, jazz funk, modern and tap into a spectacle that wins awards.

This, however, is the kind of movement that tends to make dancers from ballet or modern backgrounds cringe.

Choreographer Francisco Gella is keenly aware of the disconnect between what he calls “concert dance” and commercial/ competition dance, and he believes that some healthy cross-pollinating could be a huge benefit for both.

Last year, Gella launched the New Century Dance Project in Salt Lake City, in partnership with Repertory Dance Theatre (RDT). Now, this pioneering program brings together youth—mostly from competitive dance backgrounds—and professionals from both competition and concert worlds for a week of intensive training that culminates in a single public performance at the Rose Wagner Center this weekend.

More than just a student recital, the performance also features professionals from RDT and SALT Contemporary Dance, along

me.” And often, children exposed to dance through competition studios aren’t given the necessary tools to continue into professional careers.

The New Century Dance Project addresses these issues. Local mentors—like Kayla Kalbfleisch, a faculty member at Provobased competition studio 24 Seven Dance, and Nathan Balser, assistant professor of contemporary dance at Brigham Young University—take these young dancers under their wing, teaching them the foundations of technique and artistry, all in preparation for becoming the next big thing. Who knows? It might not be long before these fresh faces take the spotlight in a professional dance company or music video. CW

RDT & FRANCISCO GELLA: NEW CENTURY DANCE PROJECT

Rose Wagner Performing Arts Center 138 W. 300 South 801-355-2787 Saturday, July 22 7 p.m. $15 artsaltlake.org

Choreographer Francisco Gella

FRANCISCO GELLA

Between Two Worlds

with Michal Wozniak of Phoenix Ballet, Katie Critchlow of Ballet West and others.

Bridging these two worlds is something of a specialty niche for Gella. Born and raised in the Philippines, he was first exposed to dance through movies. He watched Gene Kelly tap dancing in Singin’ in the Rain and envied Kevin Bacon’s ’80s grooves in Footloose. In college at the University of Washington, where he earned a B.A. in dance, he received formal training rooted in dance history and technique, then went on to perform for several major U.S. companies, including RDT from 1996-98.

He always kept a toe in the commercial world—whether by creating choreography for the students at Utah’s Center Stage Performing Arts school, or judging national competitions. Balanced between the two forms, he has a unique perspective on the strengths and weaknesses of each.

“I’m advocating for the concert dance world, but they need to understand that they need an audience,” Gella says in a phone interview. Having people know who you are and showing up to your performances, he says, is “not a need that’s limited to the commercial perspective.” He sees professional dance companies suffering because “they just don’t have an audience.”

An audience is something that commercial dance has in spades, partially because it’s easy to find in pop culture. All you need to do is turn on the television, or watch an online video. Commercial dance also boasts a flashy style that grabs people’s attention.

Gella isn’t advocating for concert dancers to change their training or their technique to look more like they’re in a music video. Instead, he thinks that part of the solution could be as simple as getting to know those on the opposite side of the aisle. “I would teach at Center Stage, and they didn’t know about RDT,” Gella says. “They didn’t even know there was this kind of dancing in Utah.”

The problem, as he sees it, is twofold.

When commercial dance doesn’t even recognize the history and foundation of concert dance that they draw upon, Gella says, “they are stealing traditions without integrity—cheapening it. That bothers

SHARON KAIN

A&E

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COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE AT CITYWEEKLY.NET

The Harold B. Lee Library Special Collections Room (2060 Lee Lane, Brigham Young University, Provo, 801-422-2927, sites.lib.byu.edu) gives a sense of humor to the LDS church’s representation in popular culture with Matt Page’s Page on the Arts: Mormon Pop Art on view through July 31, Monday-Saturday.

PERFORMANCE

THEATER

COMEDY & IMPROV

Alex Velluto Wiseguys Ogden, 269 25th St., 801-622-5588, July 21-22, 8 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com Brendan Schaub Wiseguys Gateway, 194 S.

JULY 20, 2017 | 17

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone in Concert with Utah Symphony Deer Valley Snow Park Amphitheater, 2250 Deer Valley Drive, Park City, 801-355-2787 July 22, 7 p.m., $15$75, utahsymphony.org (see p. 14) Tad Calcara plays Copland St. Mary’s Church, 1505 White Pine Canyon Road, Park City, Wednesday, July 26, 8 p.m., my.usuo.org

| CITY WEEKLY |

CLASSICAL & SYMPHONY

Myriad Dance: Tides SLC Clubhouse, 850 E. South Temple, July 21, 7:30 p.m., myriaddancecompany.com New Century Dance Project Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 801-355-2787, July 22, 7 p.m., artsaltlake.org (see p. 16)

| MUSIC | CINEMA | DINING | A&E | NEWS |

DANCE

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

The 3 Amigos Desert Star Theatre, 4861 S. State, Murray, 801-266-2600, through Aug. 19, times vary, desertstar.biz As You Like It Engelstad Shakespeare Theatre, 200 W. College Ave., Cedar City, 435-586-7878, through Sept. 7, times vary, bard.org Blackbird Sorenson Unity Center, 1383 S. 900 West, through July 30, Friday-Saturday, 7:30 p.m.; 3 p.m. matinee Sunday, July 30, utahrep.org Broadway Bound Neil Simon Festival, Heritage Center Theater, 105 N. 100 East, Cedar City, 435267-0194, through Aug. 12, dates and times vary, simonfest.org Cabaret Egyptian Theatre, 328 Main, Park City, 435-649-9371, through July 23, Thursday-Saturday, 8 p.m.; Sunday, 6 p.m., egyptiantheatrecompany.org The Dinner Party Neil Simon Festival, Heritage Center Theater, 105 N. 100 East, Cedar City, 435267-0194, through Aug. 11, dates and times vary, simonfest.org Disney’s Tarzan Hale Center Theater, 225 W. 400 North, Orem, 801-226-8600, through Aug. 5, Monday-Saturday, 7:30 p.m.; various matinees Friday-Saturday, haletheater.org Guys and Dolls Randall L. Jones Theatre, 300 W. Center St., Cedar City, 435-586-7878, through Sept. 1, times vary, bard.org Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat Hale Center Theatre, 3333 S. Decker Lake Drive, West Valley City, 801-984-9000, through Aug. 12, times vary, hct.org Madama Butterfly Ellen Eccles Theater, 43 S. Main, Logan, 800-262-0074, through Aug. 8, artsaltlake.org Mamma Mia Tuacahn Center for the Arts, 1100 Tuacahn Drive, Ivins, 435-652-3200, through Oct. 21, tuacahn.org A Midsummer Night’s Dream Randall L. Jones Theatre, 300 W. Center St., Cedar City, 453-5867878, through Oct. 21, times vary, bard.org A Night at the Imperial Off Broadway Theatre, 272 S. Main, 801-355-4628, through July 29, Friday, Saturday & Monday, 7:30 p.m., theobt.org

Noises Off Neil Simon Festival, Heritage Center Theater, 105 N. 100 West, Cedar City, 435-2670194, through Aug. 9, dates and times vary, simonfest.org Rex Utah Theater, 18 W. Center St., Logan, 800262-0074, through Aug. 7, artsaltlake.org Romeo and Juliet Engelstad Shakespeare Theatre, 200 W. College Ave., Cedar City, 435586-7878, through Sept. 9, times vary, bard.org Saturday’s Voyeur Salt Lake Acting Co., 168 W. 500 North, 801-363-7522, through Aug. 27, times vary, saltlakeactingcompany.org Seussical The Musical Utah Theatre, 18 W. Center St., Logan, 801-355-2787, through Aug. 7, dates and times vary, artsaltlake.org Shakespeare in Love Engelstad Shakespeare Theatre, 200 W. College Ave., Cedar City, 435586-7878, through Sept. 8, times vary, bard.org Treasure Island Randall L. Jones Theatre 300 W. Center St., Cedar City, 435-586-7878, through Sept. 2, times vary, bard.org Under Construction: The Blue Collar Musical Neil Simon Festival, Heritage Center Theater, 105 N. 100 East, Cedar City, 435-267-0194, July 20-Aug. 12, dates and times vary, simonfest.org

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STORE ★★★★★

400 West, 801-532-5233, July 21, 9:30 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com Improv Comedy Show Sugar Space Arts Warehouse, 132 S. 800 West, July 19, 8 p.m., $5, thesugarspace.com Jacob Leigh Wiseguys Gateway, 194 S. 400 West, 801-532-5233, July 21, 7 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com Marcus and Guy Siedel Wiseguys Ogden, 269 25th St., 801-622-5588, July 21-22, 8 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com Open-Mic Night Wiseguys SLC, 194 S. 400 West, 801-532-5233, Wednesdays, 7:30 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com

SPECIAL EVENTS GIFT CERTIFICATES TO UTAH’S FINEST DEVOURUTAHSTORE.COM

FARMERS MARKETS

9th West Farmers Market International Peace Gardens, 1000 S. 900 West, through Oct. 29, Sundays, 10 a.m.-2 p.m., 9thwestfarmersmarket.org Downtown Farmers Market Pioneer Park, 350 W. 300 South, through Oct. 28, 8 a.m.-2 p.m., slcfarmersmarket.org Sugar House Farmers Market Fairmont Park, 1040 E. Sugarmont Drive, through Oct. 25, Wednesdays, 5-8 p.m., sugarhousefarmersmarket.org

FESTIVALS & FAIRS

Days of ’47 Parade From South Temple & State Street to 200 East, south to 900 South, then east to Liberty Park (600 E. 900 South), July 24, 9 a.m., free, daysof47.com (see p. 14) Native American Celebration in the Park Powwow & Festival Liberty Park, 600 E. 1100 South, 801-688-9297, July 24, noon-10 p.m., $5, under 3 and over 65 free, nacippowwow.wixsite.com (see p. 14)

VISUAL ART GALLERIES & MUSEUMS

Al Ahad: The Hijab Project UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, 801-328-4201, July 21-Nov. 18; artist reception, Aug. 25, 6-9 p.m., $5 donation suggested, utahmoca.org (see p. 14) All-State Utah High School Art Show Main Library, 210 E. 400 South, 801-524-8200, through July 29, slcpl.org Annual Summer Group Show & Artifacts: Art, Politics & Alternative Realities Phillips Gallery, 444 E. 200 South, 801-364-8284, July 21-Sept. 8; Gallery Stroll July 21, 6-9 p.m., phillips-gallery.com

COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE AT CITYWEEKLY.NET

Avenues Open Studies: Works by Local Artists Corinne and Jack Sweet Library, 455 F St., 801-594-8651, through Aug. 19, slcpl.org Corinne Humphrey: Tao of Rudy—Essential Dog-ma for Everyday Joy SLC Main Library, 210 E. 400 South, 801-524-8200, through Aug. 7, slcpl.org Face of Utah Sculpture XIII Utah Cultural Celebration Center, 1355 W. 3100 South, 801-9655100, through Aug. 30, culturalcelebration.org Joseph Cipro: Cosmic Musings Gallery 814, 814 E. 100 South, 801-533-0204, through July 31 Linnie Brown: Maps of Insufficient Clarity Finch Lane Gallery, 1340 E. 100 South, 801-5965000, through Aug. 4, saltlakearts.org Luke Watson: Anthropocene Chapman Library, 577 S. 900 West, 801-594-8623, through Aug. 24, slcpl.org Masterworks of Western American Art David Dee Fine Arts, 1709 E. 1300 South, 801-583-8143, through Aug. 31, daviddeefinearts.com Matt Page: Page on the Arts: Mormon Pop Art Brigham Young University, Harold B. Lee Library Special Collections Room, 2060 Lee Lane, Provo, 801-422-2927, through July 31, sites.lib.byu.edu (see p. 17) Michael Ryan Handley: Sublimation UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, 801-328-4201, through Sept. 9, utahmoca.org Naomi Marine: Sleepwalking Sprague Branch Library, 2131 S. 1100 East, 801-594-8640, through Aug. 26; reception July 18, 6:30 p.m., slcpl.org Naomi S. Adams: Structural Language Salt Lake Community College South City, 1575 S. State, 801-957-4111, through Sept. 7, 6-8 p.m., slcc.edu Native Voices: Contemporary Trading Post Modern West Fine Art, 177 E. 200 South, 801355-3383, July 21-Aug. 21; artist reception July 21, 6:30 p.m.-8 p.m., modernwestfineart.com Richard Serra: Prints Kimball Art Center, 1401 Kearns Blvd., 435-649-8882, through Aug. 20, kimballartcenter.org Robert Barett: Figurative Tradition Visual Art Institute, 2901 S. Highland Drive, 801-474-3796, through Aug. 4, 6-9 p.m., visualartinstitute.org Scott Filipiak Finch Lane Gallery, 1340 E. 100 South, 801-596-5000, through Aug. 4, saltlakearts.org Spy Hop: Safe and Sound Utah Museum of Cultural Contemporary Art, 20 S. West Temple, 801-328-4201, through Sept. 23, utahmoca.org Under the Influence: Eight Local Artists Influenced by Animation Rio Gallery, 300 S. Rio Grande St., 801-245-7272, through Sept. 1, heritage.utah.gov

One of Utah’s

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GROUP ACTIVITIES & DATES!

801-648-8608 BAREFOOTTUBING.COM

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JULY 20, 2017 | 19

A-Z Cocktail Guide

2017

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producer, Sugar House Distillery, to get a taste of what’s going in the genre at a solid price point compared to imported single-malt scotch. SHD uses three kinds of malted barley, all sourced within 120 miles; they ferment, distill and bottle on site and age in new American charred oak in the tradition of bourbon. Seattle’s award-winning Westland Distillery uses five varieties of barley in their mix, turning up the curiosity factor to 11. Thompson says, “These distillers are taking the idea of this classic, almost sacred whiskey and turning it on it’s ear, which is a very American thing to do,” along with using locally cultivated yeast strains and playing with barrel types and aging strategies. And this risky business is paying off big-time for local producers: Sugar House Distillery’s 100 percent malt whiskey recently scored 91 points from Wine Enthusiast, with the reviewer impressed by the oak-forward nose and palate “with a core of toffee and caramel and a long, creamy finish accented with hot cinnamon.” In Park City, Alpine Distilling bottles a 100 percent barley malt called Traveler’s Rest Whiskey, aged 16 months and finished with French oak, which won a gold medal in the 2017 SIP awards.

In mid-August, Dented Brick distiller Ethan Miller told me, they’re going to release an applewood smoked malt whiskey as a white dog and will be barreling it rapidly for a future aged release. It’s made from Idaho malt, applewood smoked malt, Utah wheat and Utah rye. “I hope that it will be received as a groundbreaking spirit that showcases the unique possibilities in a new American malt category,” Miller says. Sign us the hell up, we’re sold on this trend.

eets, Blueberries and Beyond in local beer: If you find beet beer on A. Fisher Brewing’s revolving tap menu, snap up the opportunity to taste it before it’s gone. No joke. I’ve heard that it’s refreshing, earthy and only slightly sweet but, goddammit, I haven’t been able to try it firsthand because it sold out before I could get my greedy paws on a stonecold glass. Co-owner Tim Dwyer was cheerfully unapologetic when I stopped by the revived brewery’s sweet industrial spot in the Granary District. “We use local ingredients when they’re available and brew in small batches. When it’s gone, it’s gone,” he said. Well, shit. Fortunately, there were more than enough brews available at Fisher to assuage my disappointment. Denied on imbibing beets as a particular unusual ingredient, this intrepid gumshoe did the tough work of sampling sips from a slew of local suds-makers using unusual ingredients, proving that creativity abounds in our salty city. On the summer shortlist for hops inspiration: Wasatch Brewery’s refreshing and bright blueberry hefeweizen, Shades of Pale’s clementine-based Slick City Citrus IPA and Proper Brewing’s Lake Effect, a gose based on an old-school Leipziger ale recipe brewed with at least 50 percent wheat, coriander and local salt.

Boom. And, hard cider fans, rejoice! Mountain West has made a 6.9 percent ABV cider, called Desolation, with prickly pear in a surprisingly dry and simultaneously melon-like mellow concoction not to be missed.

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DARBY DOYLE

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is for American single-malt whiskey—it ain’t anything like your grandpa’s musty Dewar’s-and-soda dumped in a rocks glass. It’s also very different in flavor profile and complexity from more familiar single-malt scotch, which by law may only be made in Scotland (like Champagne may only be from that region of France, and tequila from a specific area in Mexico).

Leave it to renegade American distillers to challenge the sometimes-murky categories of U.S. whiskey production beyond, say, bourbon. There are only a few U.S. distillers making malt whiskey, but bartenders and booze geeks alike are looking for this trend to boom big-time—and soon.

So let’s break down what exactly American single-malt whiskey means and why you should care about its growing cred in the whiskey world. Jeff Thompson, founder and president of the Utah Whiskey Drinkers Union (an affinity group of about 350 members), gave me some insight into why distillers are fighting to get a consistent “standard of identity” on the legal books for the currently crazy category. “American malts are made with the same ingredients as scotch or most Irish whiskey, but it’s made with American standards, ingenuity and some definite flair,” he says. He gives an example that most single-malts coming from Scotland are made from one kind of malted barley (usually locally sourced) and then fermented, distilled and bottled at the same single distillery.

American distillers have completely turned this model upside down.

Thompson recommends trying out Utah’s only grain-to-glass malt whiskey

DARBY DOYLE

Eric Robinson, master distiller at Sugar House Distillery

JOSH SCHEUERMAN

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magine America’s early days as a fledgling republic, just stretching its fuzzy baby eagle wings into nationhood, centered on face-to-face conversations. You know, actual human interaction.

And those theoretical and eventually subversive political debates between men—and more than a few under-recognized women—often happened over a mug of beer, tankard of hard cider or glass of rum. In a time of widespread illiteracy and news that could only travel as fast as the messenger’s fleetest horse, the vast majority of the early republic’s revolutionary-minded populace learned about current events and formed their opinions about them by word of mouth. Most newspapers and political pamphlets were sent directly to taverns or roadside inns, where, in turn, the few literate customers present would read them aloud to their curious and unlettered neighbors. Bakers, lawyers and ministers sat elbow-to-elbow with barbers, politicians and farriers.

Discussions ran late into the night, with good ale or bad whiskey a common— hell, necessary—accompaniment.

After all, this was an era when George Washington owned one of the East Coast’s largest distilleries, John Adams drank a tankard of cider with breakfast every morning, Thomas Jefferson was credited with hosting the first presidential cocktail party and we all know what Sam Adams was up to.

With drinking water being a suspect commodity, fermented and brewed potions were considered eminently potable. And for most of the nation, taverns, by their nature, were places where patrons expected to get the triumvirate of camaraderie, the glue that held, and still holds, secular communities together: a bit of sustenance, lively conversation and a great drink.

In the spirit of camaraderie and thoughtful discourse exhibited by these revolutionary imbibers, we’ve compiled this compendium of cocktail lore as an incentive not necessarily to drink more, but drink better. To sit down at the long bar, make eye contact and say, “Hey.” Host more cocktail parties, splurge on some gorgeous glassware. And whenever possible, give some local love to producers and artisans based right here in the Beehive state. Daniel Handler (aka Lemony Snicket) wisely said, “Alcohol starts endless debates, and endless debates are best settled over a drink.”

raving some chocolate? I’m sure you are; Utahns famously crave all things cacao: We’re the second-largest per capita consumers of bean-to-bar chocolate in the U.S. But what to imbibe along with that bar? I asked Matt Caputo of Caputo’s Market & Deli, which is known internationally as one of the nation’s biggest and best purveyors of artisan chocolate, with about 475 varieties available at any given time. He says he taste-tests almost a pound of chocolate every day to figure out which bars make the cut. His advice: “If you’re going grape-based, Madeira is amazing with chocolate.”

He also suggests an aged rum like Appleton Estate 12-year, sipped neat. (I heartily concur). “You wouldn’t think it’d work, but beer also goes great with cacao,” Caputo continues. Think the yeasty, almost bread-like earthy flavors of a rich chocolate like Ritual’s Balao 75 percent from Ecuador. Absolutely perfect with the bitter tang of a bold IPA or a classic Belgian sour.

What to avoid? “Wine and chocolate just don’t mix,” he asserts.

“Red wine tannins, in particular, are horrible with cacao.” Duly noted, Mr. Caputo. Duly noted.

them on-site with filtering or adding spring water at desired proof for sale.

Some companies—like Utah’s first licensed distillery since Prohibition, High West—do a bit of both, combining a model of on-site distilling for some products and blending spirits brought in from elsewhere for other label runs with award-winning results. So it’s basically a buyer education situation: Many people don’t give a shit how the juice was made, as long as they like what ends up in the glass at an appealing price. Best way to see how your booze gets into the bottle? Go for a tour and talk to the owners and distillers about their process. Utah distilleries may now offer up to 2.5 combined ounces of sampling on-site for a small fee in addition to tours of their facilities, under educational permits granted by the Utah Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control Commission. The best kind of try-beforeyou-buy.

CURRENT LIST OF UTAH’S LICENSED BOOZE PRODUCERS, IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER ALPINE DISTILLING whiskey blends (American malt, flavored), spiced liqueur, vodka 7132 N. Silver Creek Road, Park City 435-200-9537 alpinedistilling.com BEEHIVE DISTILLING gin, barrel-aged gin, vodka beehivedistilling.com DENTED BRICK DISTILLERY rum, gin, vodka 3100 S. Washington St. 801-883-9837 dentedbrick.com DISTILLERY 36 agricole-style cane rum 2374 S. Redwood Road 801-983-7303 distillery36.com

THE HIVE WINERY wine, hard cider, mead, brandy, liqueurs 1220 W. Jack D Drive, Layton 801-546-1997 thehivewinery.com

NEW WORLD DISTILLERY gin, agave spirits, vodka, liqueur 4795 E. 2600 North, Eden 385-244-0144 newworlddistillery.com OGDEN’S OWN DISTILLERY vodka, herbal liqueur, gin, flavored whiskey 3075 Grant Ave., Ogden 801-458-1995 ogdensown.com

WATERPOCKET DISTILLERY liqueurs, herbal spirits, cocktail bitters, rum, gin, whiskey 2084 W. 2200 South, 385-202-5725 waterpocket.co

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SUGAR HOUSE DISTILLERY American malt whiskey, bourbon, rye, new-make white whiskey, vodka, rums 2212 S. West Temple, Ste. 14 801-726-0403 sugarhousedistillery.net

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SALT CITY VODKA umm ... vodka saltcityvodka.com

OUTLAW DISTILLERY bourbon, white whiskey, rums (aged, spiced, coffee) 552 W. 8360 South, Midvale 801-706-1428 outlawdistillery.com

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KID CURRY SPIRITS vodka, rum, whiskey 2080 W. 2200 South, 801-669-0435 kidcurryspirits.com

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HIGH WEST DISTILLERY various whiskey blends (bourbon, rye, malt, oat), Utah ‘valley tan,’ vodka 27649 Old Lincoln Highway, Wanship 435-649-8300 highwest.com

DARBY DOYLE

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istilling. That’d be the craft of taking ground grain (or fruit, or molasses, etc.) and fermenting it with yeast and water to make beer or wine, which then gets processed in a still to vaporize the liquid and extract alcohol. U.S. regulations allow quite a bit of wiggle room on how companies and the people who operate them title themselves.

According to Distiller’s Guild of Utah President Ethan Miller, local booze brands “represent several different business models” that reflect national liquor production examples. These vary from artisan distillers who (bless their OCD hearts) control every aspect of the process—from sourcing local grain for fermentation through tightly monitored distilling runs and various barrel-aging strategies, to independent bottlers who import base spirits from manufacturing facilities out of state and adjust or “rectify”

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THE BEST in the west — Available In Local Liquor Stores & Distillery —Tours & Tastings —

552 West 8360 South, Midvale | 801.706.1428 | outlawdistillery.com

RAMOS GIN FIZZ

Adaptation cobbled from David Wondrich’s classic cocktail history Imbibe and Charles H. Baker’s 1939 The Gentleman’s Companion: Volume II, The Exotic Drinking Book.

DARBY DOYLE

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lassware of the proper variety for the beverage being served is to mismatched stadium cups as ironed cloth napkins are to a pilfered stash of paper take-out ones. Yup, it’s time to grow out of your D.I.-purchased mismatched glass set, kiddos, and move to the grown-ups table, elegant coupe glass in hand. For me? Gorgeous glassware says as much about a host as their (hopefully overflowing) bookshelf. John Waters was onto something when he said, “If you go home with somebody and they don’t have books, don’t fuck ’em.” From old Southern etiquette books to contemporary bar manuals, drink pros recognize that the right glass for the job is about more than appearance: The volume of the beverage served, how long and well it stays chilled and how aromas are concentrated or dissipated are a crucial part of the cocktail experience. Ever drink a big, bold California cabernet out of a Champagne flute? Ruins the whole dealio. In Charles H. Baker’s 1939 The Gentleman’s Companion, Volume II: The Exotic Drinking Book, he includes a delightful rant on why all drinks should be served in stemmed glasses (except for old fashioneds) to avoid clammy handshakes and keep drinks colder longer. He concludes with dry sarcasm, “Many people hold that all cocktails can be served in the usual 2-ounce Manhattan-type glass; and just as rightly we contend than anyone can wear a crimson bowtie with tails.” The horror.

He recommends nine varieties (not including wine glasses) as a minimum for a proper glass wardrobe. True story: I’m a huge vintage glass hoarder/collector and completely rationalize my several dozen varieties because it’s for work, dammit. And not to knock the D.I., I’ve found some real treasures at rock-bottom prices, like adorable Nick & Nora coupes scored for 68 cents each.

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rozen drinks in a flash? Who are we kidding? Sometimes we don’t have the time, energy or desire to dig out the blender, see if it still works after the last daiquiri debacle when the mood music of the party was overwhelmed by the grating racket of sub-par ice crushing. Cheap drink hack to the rescue! Step 1: Make a trip to your Quick-E-Mart’s swirling frozen beverage dispenser. Fill up a few cups of Slurpee, Frazil or Slush Puppie with your favorite flavors. 2: When at home, add the alcoholic doctoring of choice, stir well to combine, add a lid to keep spills to a minimum and store in the freezer. The high sugar content of the slushy substance (usually packed with high-fructose corn syrup and artificial food dye; e.g. the breakfast of champions) combined with alcohol’s lower freezing point means that these perfect ready-to-go sippers won’t freeze into a block of ice prior to serving. 3: To get the party started, have the slush sit at room temperature for a couple minutes to soften up, then stir with a long spoon to recombine ingredients evenly and reactivate that distinctive carbonated zip. 4: Pour into your serving vessel of choice—don’t forget the wide-ass straw.

With over 200 flavors available on rotation nationally, Slurpee’s got you covered for endless frozen cocktail options—think white rum in Piña Colada, a slug of bourbon in Wild Cherry, some tequila in your Cactus Cooler, vodka in your Sour Patch Watermelon, or my fave: equal parts bitter Campari and gin to balance that super-sweet Lemonade (pictured above). It’s the best kind of brain freeze.

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ggs. Or to be precise, egg whites. Though eggnogs and some punch concoctions call for whole eggs, separated egg whites are an optional (though some would say optimal) ingredient for developing body in drinks like New York sours and other citrus-forward flavor bombs. They’re epitomized in booze history as a key component of “fizz” cocktails, famous as a classification of restoratives and hangover cures. Booze + protein = Hallelujah. At one New Orleans bar, Ramos gin fizzes were so popular, they had a whole crew of cruelly underpaid young barbacks whose only job was to shake-shake-shake each drink for 12 full minutes. In 1914, cocktail chronicler Ernest P. Rawling said of the fizz, “After a long automobile trip on hot and dusty roads, it is then that the gin fizz comes like a cooling breeze from the sea, bringing new life and the zest and joy of living.” Considered one of the great classifications of cocktails for summertime refreshment, some contemporary bars cleverly use free-standing, milkshake-whirling contraptions to do the work of a platoon of tin-shaking barbacks. Some local spots nailing the hell out of the frothy fizz experience are the fine folks at Under Current (279 S. 300 East, 801-574-2556, undercurrentbar.com), who have at least one original fizz on the menu at any time. Rye (239 S. 500 East, 801364-4655, ryeslc.com) cleverly includes a Wake Up fizz on their day drinks menu (starting at 11:30 a.m.) with a nod to its original hair-of-the-dog restorative qualities. Bar manager Tony Goodkid of Tupelo Park City (508 Main, Park City, 435-615-7700, tupeloparkcity.com) recommends tossing the straw when served a fizz of any variety “to get that frothy goodness right up front.” It’s all part of the fizz experience.

DARBY DOYLE

Combine everything except the club soda in a tin shaker without ice and shake vigorously to combine (about one minute). Add ice to the shaker and shake again until you can’t even bear to hold the chilled shaker in your hands. Maybe use gloves or pot holders to get to the full 12 minutes. If you have a freestanding milkshake mixer, use it instead. Pour through a fine mesh strainer into a tall U-shaped fizz glass (or Collins), top with club soda and stir. Drink quickly before it separates.

DARBY DOYLE

2 ounces London dry gin 1 tablespoon simple syrup ½ ounce fresh lemon juice ½ ounce fresh lime juice 1 fresh egg white, carefully separated 1 ounce heavy cream 3 drops orange flower water 1 ounce club soda, chilled

24 | JULY 20, 2017

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THOUGHTFULLY CURATED MEZCALS

135 W. 1300 S. | 801.487.4418 | LUCKY13SLC.COM

South Valleys Favorite Watering Hole  best patio in the valley  good food  great company

801.733.5567 | theHogWallow.com | Facebook & Twitter: thehogwallowpub

LIFE OF POBLANO

SURFER ON ACID

Strip of poblano chili pepper (instructions below) 2 dashes aromatic bitters (keep it local with Bitters Lab or Honest John Bitters Co.) 2 drops orange blossom water 1 ounce Wahaka Mezcal Joven Espadin 1 ounce Ancho Reyes liqueur 1 ounce fresh lime juice 1 ounce orgeat

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Shake all ingredients in a shaker tin with ice. Strain over pebble ice into a tall Collins glass, adding more ice to mound the top. Garnish with a lime wheel.

KERRIFUKUI

Core a large poblano pepper by running a sharp paring knife around the circumference of the “shoulder” of the pepper, removing the stem and seeds; save the stem “lid” for garnish. Cut a 1-inch-long, half-inch-wide chunk of pepper flesh from another pepper. Drop that chunk into a cocktail shaker, add bitters and orange blossom water, muddle briefly. Add ice and all remaining ingredients. Shake with ice until the tin is super-frosty. Strain into a hollowed-out poblano pepper wedged into a mason jar (for stability) or a coupe glass. Garnish with pepper “lid” and an edible flower or lime wheel.

1 ounce herbal spirit, such as Ogden’s Underground or Waterpocket Notom 1 ounce coconut rum 1 ounce fresh pineapple juice ½ ounce fresh lime juice

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gloo, or your manufacturer of choice for beverage storage and transport. Let’s take a minute to ponder that taken-for-granted underdog of summer, the good old-fashioned hard-sided cooler.

Just the right size for a couple of beers and a sandwich, or big enough to haul drinks for Beyoncé’s entire entourage. Be it green, red, white or a hue no longer recognizable underneath the sticker decoupage repping beer brands, skate companies, ski gear and your uncle’s belly-up IT start-up. It’s the battered beer-toting essential of summertime sipping found at every family barbeque, picnic in the park or Bear Lake boat trip. Cooler tech has come a long way since the 1950s, when the first portable jug-like water coolers and ice chests became popular. Now, the humble cooler comes in hundreds of iterations, with options like all-terrain wheels, bear- and kid-proof locking lids, built-in bottle openers, sound docks and LED lighting. Pretty posh. Find top-of-the-line Yeti and Utah-made Camp Chef (campchef.com) tough-as-nails badass coolers at Kirkham’s Outdoor Products (3125 S. State, 801-486-4161, kirkhams.com), locally owned for 70-plus years.

ägermeister lovers now have more reasons to rethink their brand loyalty after trying truly original herbal spirits from Utah companies. Check out Ogden’s Own Underground Herbal Spirit and Waterpocket Distillery’s Notom Amaro for some local incentive. A little bit about this category of booze: Herbal liqueurs are required to have at least 2.5 percent added sugar by weight to the base spirit, but many manufacturers use up to 20 percent (yes, 20 percent by weight) sugar in their recipes. Beyond that, the “herbal” flavor component runs the gamut, but usually includes both bitter and aromatic ingredients like herbs, roots and fruit peel; alcohol by volume/proof is all over the place. Jägermeister is one of the oldest examples, made in Germany since 1935 with the distinctive stag on the label (Jägermeister translates as “master hunter”). And though there are reputedly over 56 ingredients, none of them are deer blood, as was an urban myth circulated in the 1990s that just won’t die. (Snopes, people.) Underground Herbal Spirit is bottled at 80 proof (40 percent ABV, in comparison with J-bomb at 70 proof) and uses about half as much sugar as most liqueurs, allowing for the blend of 33 herbs and spices to shine through. It’s also racking up the recognition, winning a Double-Gold Medal in the San Francisco World Spirits Competition and was selected Best Liqueur in the Americas at the Spirits of the Americas Competition. New kid on Utah’s growing distilling block, Waterpocket, is developing a “Long Lost” series of spirits meticulously researched by distiller Alan Scott, who painstakingly recreates historical recipes and tweaks them for modern taste profiles and distilling technology. If you’re thinking cheerful druid mad scientist, that’s pretty close to the Waterpocket tour experience (hey, Alan: That’s your Halloween costume this year; you can thank me later). Waterpocket just released boozy mind-blower “Notom,” which Scott describes as “an amaro from the central European Kräuterlikör tradition. Gentian and rhubarb roots add bittering which is balanced by fennel, green anise, clove and cinnamon aromatics.” He suggests drinking it warm for the full impact of the botanicals, but also likes it chilled for a smooth after-dinner digestif. I also like it in place of Jägermeister for making retro ’90s cocktails like this one, a perfectly wacky summer drink attributed to California bartender Eric Tecosky. Originally served as a shot, modern bartenders are giving it a tiki spin served over lots of pebble ice in a tall glass.

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STEVE CONLIN

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ot pepper-based ingredients—like jalapeño syrup, charred shoshito-infused vodka, local Bitters Lab (bitterslab.com) habanero-lime bitters, Ancho Reyes chile liqueur— are part of a continuing cocktail trend, as they add a spicy kick to counterbalance citrus and sweet. At Pallet (237 S. 400 West, 801-935-4431, eatpallet.com) last season, award-winning bar manager Bijan Ghiai made an unforgettably clever cocktail, The Life of Poblano, served in a hollowed-out whole chile and made with spicy-sweet Ancho Reyes and smoky mezcal. When mixing up this beaut, be sure to crank up the “Real Friends” track and shake it like a Polaroid picture. As one friend described the drink, “It’s three parts Bijan, one part Yeezy.”

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*To make the raspberry syrup, combine 1 cup raspberries with ¼ cup sugar and 2 tablespoons water in a heavy saucepan. Bring to a simmer, stirring frequently to prevent sticking, and cook until the fruit has broken down and released all juices and the mixture begins to thicken (about 15-20 minutes). Remove from heat, strain through fine mesh to remove solids. Will keep in an airtight container refrigerated for up to two weeks. Makes about ½ cup.

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egroni cocktails are classic for a reason. Equal parts gin, sweet vermouth and Campari chilled with ice, the sky’s the limit for improvisation. And if you can’t fly to Italy for the summer, ordering one at your favorite bar is the next best thing. Considered one of the harbingers of the summer drinks season, bartenders (aided by the marketing chops of the Campari brand) have designated the first full week in June national Negroni Week, an annual event with bars and restaurants all over the country donating $1 (or more) of every Negroni sale to support causes near and dear to the hearts and wallets of participants. According to U.S. Bartenders Guild Utah chapter president Tracy Gomez (see her at Finca’s gorgeous bar), 15 state hot spots participated this year; most donating to the Utah Rivers Council. Nationally, bartenders raised just over $400,000 during Negroni week. Cheers to doing good by drinking well! Check out their Instagram @team_negroni_utah for more.

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iqueurs, part deux: I already mentioned Utah booze-makers tackling herbal liqueur, but there’s a slew of other local liqueurs on the shelves or in development. This category especially illustrates where Utah producers have gone creatively bonkers, in the best way. In addition to the previously mentioned herbal Notom, Waterpocket Distillery is developing several others, including coffee, an Irish-cream style and a mind-blowing Oread, which distiller Alan Scott describes as “a complex botanical spirit based on the Danzig liqueur tradition. Distilled like gin, it melds the flavors of sage, star anise and sweet orange peel on a ginger and galanga root base. It is moderately sweetened to let the flavors of the botanicals do most of the work.”

A longtime local favorite for fruit wines and mead, The Hive Winery started making brandies and liqueurs with local fruit (pear, cherry, raspberry, currant—whatever they can get their hands on). Distiller Lori Yahne claims she has “the state’s smallest commercial still” working just 25 gallons of fruit wine at a time to distill down to 3-6 gallons of spirit. At New World Distillery in Eden, distiller Chris Cross came out of the gate swinging this year with a kickass gin, an agave spirit and an agave-distilled vodka.

They’re also planning to release Wasatch Blossom Tart Cherry Liqueur available only at their package store later this summer. Down in Park City? Check out Alpine Distilling’s Preserve Liqueur, with sweet floral notes coming through the liqueur made with tea, fruit and spice.

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Water Witch co-owner Scott Gardner

JOSH SCHEUERMAN

nickerbocker cocktails, now virtually extinct, deserve a resurrection, in my humble opinion. This class of cocktails rising from New York in the 1850s and ’60s had at its base a heady combination of rum, citrus juice, fruit syrup and Curaçao, and was perhaps named after the Empire state’s Knickerbocker ice company, or later on the timeline, the legendary Knickerbocker Bar—a good bet, considering its role as one of the first punches to be served with copious amounts of shaved ice. Drink historian David Wondrich calls it “the spiritual progenitor of the Tiki drink,” also associated with the fly fellas who drank these refreshing coolers in the summertime wearing their knickerbocker truncated kneebreeches. Keep it local using one of Utah’s many rum producers (Dented Brick, Distillery 36, Kid Curry, Outlaw Distillery or Sugar House Distillery) and make the raspberry syrup from berries snagged at your nearest farmers market.

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K

DARBY DOYLE

This cocktail is made in the style of a punch: All ingredients are mixed together briefly in a separate glass (with no ice), stirred to combine and poured over a goblet filled with crushed ice. Garnish with sliced orange, pineapple pieces and some maraschino cherries—because, why the hell not?

JOSH SCHEUERMAN

1 ounce white rum ½ ounce aged Caribbean rum ½ ounce orange Curaçao ½ ounce raspberry syrup* 1 ounce fresh lemon juice

ilk Punch.

Apologies to the lactose intolerant, but for those of us diving into the dairy on the daily, there’s nothing like the crystal clear aspect achieved by a milk punch. Nope, it’s not a concoction similar to a melted milkshake, as I imagined the first time I saw it described in a vintage bar manual. That’d be the other kind of milk punch, popularized in the Deep South and made with cream, brandy and a titch of nutmeg—a whole ’nuther animal.

In this historical instance, the current milk punch renaissance is more like a technique than a recipe, and moreover, it’s one of the earliest culinary hacks transmitted to the bartender’s bag of tricks. Now often called “fat washing,” folks in 17th century Western Europe added milk to boozy citrus punches to mellow the stomach-achy acidic effects of all of that lemon and lime juice. Very non-scientific short version: After clearing away the bubbly raft of gunk created when dairy fat from milk and citrus react and bind together, the resulting potion retained a full-bodied flavor with stunning clarity and had a longer shelf-life, a boon in the days before refrigeration. In his seminal work on the subject, Punch: The Delights and Danger of the Flowing Bowl, booze historian David Wondrich notes that milk punches became so popular in the early 19th century that they were available bottled.

Wondrich writes, “Queen Victoria so liked the version Nathaniel Whisson & Co. bottled that in 1838 she had them named ‘Purveyors of Milk Punch to Her Majesty.’” Modern bartenders make small-batch versions to serve as single-serving cocktails, which you’ll sometimes see on the menu at Water Witch (163 W. 900 South, 801-462-0967, waterwitchbar.com); co-owner Scott Gardner is a huge fan of the technique and one of Salt Lake’s most vocal punch proselytizers. Bartenders are even playing with vegan alternatives to cow’s milk using coconut and other nut milks. Keep an eye on this bit of bar geekery bound to go mainstream.

CAROLYN HARGRAVES

KNICKERBOCKER À LA MONSIEUR

Adapted from Vintage Spirits and Forgotten Cocktails by Ted Haigh.

28 | JULY 20, 2017

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MAI TAI

Original recipe from Trader Vic’s Bartender’s Guide (1947)

P

ENRIQUE LIMÓN

O

rgeat is a cloudy almond-based syrup with fragrant rose or orange water notes. Pronounced “or-zhyuh” with a silent T (or for the dictionary-obsessed, \ˈȯr-ˌzhä(t)\), ’twas originally made by the French back in the day with barley water with the intent of settling icky tummies. But like related pharmaceuticals, bitters and tonic water, it meandered into the drinks arsenal as a cocktail ingredient, swapping out almond for less shelf-stable barley over time. Orgeat became popular during the mid-century tiki craze, for which Victor Bergeron of Trader Vic’s fame took cocky credit, saying, “There has been a lot of conversation over the beginning of the mai tai. And I want to get the record straight. I originated the mai tai” back in 1944. He claims he made it at his original Oakland restaurant for friends visiting from Tahiti, who took one sip and proclaimed, “mai tai—roa aé,” which Bergeron translated as, “out of this world—the best.” Bergeron stuck with “mai tai” as the name, and during the 1950s, it was served at all of his Hawaii bars, as well as cruise ships like the Matson Steamship Lines, President Lines and the Royal Hawaiian, Moana and Surfrider hotels. It eventually swept the nation. “Anybody who says I didn’t create this drink is a dirty stinker,” Bergeron said.

aloma. Move over, margarita; it’s time to share some tequila sexytime with La Paloma. A cocktail more popular in northern Mexico—and in Texas ruby-red grapefruit country—than the margarita, it’s a simple combination of tequila, a bit of lime juice and grapefruit soda (like Jarritos), all poured directly over crushed ice. For a truly authentic Paloma experience, City Weekly Editor Enrique Limón recommends the superlative Paloma served at Chile Tepín (307 W. 200 South, 801-883-9255, facebook.com/chiletepin) presented with a salted rim and traditional cantarito (clay cup). Restaurant owner Carlos Rodríguez revealed to Limón that he makes the house Paloma with Cazadores Reposado tequila and fresh lime and grapefruit juices, creating a lovely balance of sour and sweet refreshment along with a decidedly boozy kick. We’ll say ¡salúd! to that.

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JULY 20, 2017 | 29

uirky. That’d be a generous way to describe our state’s annual whiplash of alcohol legislation, with the 2017 session staying true to confusing and complicated course. Keep in mind some of these changes are still under review and won’t go into effect for months. Some highlights: • Despite hopes otherwise, Utah’s often-mocked Zion Curtain didn’t come down entirely. Legislators still believe that the youth of Utah stand on the precipice of addiction and moral peril with every cocktail shaken and stirred in front of their vulnerable eyes.

Restaurants now have the option of creating a “moat” limiting general seating visibility to the bar area for the under-21 set. Look for curtain demolition parties to be all the rage in following months.

(Current Fish & Oyster hosted theirs earlier this month.)

• Are y’all as confused by those “restaurant, not a bar” signs as I am? Can I order a drink at a restaurant? Eat at a bar? Most restaurateurs I talked to said, with a shrug and eye roll, that it’s just one more piece of paper they’re adding to the wall-o’-framed permits by the hostess stand. I asked Salt Lake Area Restaurant Association Executive Director Michele Corigliano to shed some light on the subject. “You know, we hadn’t intended the signage to look like it did when it was released by the DABC. But it is here and actually, as silly as it might seem, I think Utahns have been reading it, glancing at other guests in the restaurant/bar, and can laugh about it,” she says. “It’s become an inside joke and, quite frankly, I think it could have been worse. I think it somewhat bonds Utahns.” Then there’s the one outside now-shuttered Lamb’s Grill (pictured left).

• Utah passes the lowest blood-alcohol level while driving baseline in the nation, lowering the limit from .08 to .05. During discussions, several legislators brought up that they see this as a salvo for zero tolerance for any driver drinking alcohol in any quantity, despite the fact that there are no scientific studies backing up this claim. Statistically, drivers at .15 BAC or higher are the riskiest drivers, and this law does nothing to address that issue. Corigliano sees this shift as damaging to both Utah’s tourism draw and economically to restaurants’ bottom-lines. “Right now, a regular restaurant license needs to maintain 70 percent food sales to 30 percent alcohol sales. Most restaurants hit this range or come pretty close to it,” she says. “We feel the responsible drinkers who in the past had a glass of wine with dinner or shared a bottle with a group of friends will eschew alcohol altogether. Those sales come right out of the 30 percent of restaurants’ revenue. Those people who give up a drink at dinner do not order more food to compensate. So that revenue just dissipates. And, with margins already tight for restaurateurs, this will be detrimental for our independent restaurants.” Though Gov. Gary Herbert signed the bill into law, there are still adjustments in discussion for both scope and enforcement. It’s scheduled to take effect Dec. 31, 2018.

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ENRIQUE LIMÓN

Cut lime in half; squeeze juice over shaved ice into a tiki, mai tai (or double old fashioned) glass; save one spent shell for garnish. Add remaining ingredients and enough shaved ice to fill glass. Hand shake. Decorate with spent lime shell, fresh mint and a fruit stick.

TRADER VIC’S BARTENDER’S GUIDE

1 lime ½ ounce orange Curaçao ¼ ounce rock candy syrup ¼ ounce orgeat syrup 1 ounce dark Jamaica rum 1 ounce Martinique rum

SIP ON

30 | JULY 20, 2017

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Tin Angel serves a thoroughly tested list of Martinis and Cocktails using Herbs, Mixers and Garnishes from local growers paired with a menu of high quality, mostly local spirits.

The entire Cocktail list is 10$ or less

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oulette, bartender style. That’s the term for letting your barkeep go wild, but there are some unspoken rules when playing Bartender Roulette: 1. If you absolutely hate scotch or are really in the mood for something with gin, give them a heads-up to run with; you’ll both be happier. Just keep it brief.

2. Give ’em time to work. My favorite bartenders like to shake up some standards for other customers at the bar while they ponder a bit on what they’ll send my way and maybe shoot me a “sweet or savory?” question or two. All part of the creative genius. 3. Don’t send it back. Ever. That’s why they call it roulette, dumbass.

CAROLYN HARGRAVES

T

ools for basic bartending don’t need to be expensive, but you should have a solid setup for both shaking and stirring. Huge oversimplification here, but generally, drinks are shaken to effectively incorporate things like citrus and cream or eggs; drinks stirred over ice use this technique to chill and protect the clarity of all-alcohol recipes like Manhattans. At the absolute minimum, your shopping list should include: a metal shaker of whatever variety, some kind of strainer, pint-sized or larger stirring glass and a long-handled barspoon. Boozetique (315 E. 300 South, 801-363-3939, boozetiqueslc.com) has everything you’ll ever need in one stop, with ever-knowledgable proprietor Ivy Earnest ready to set your ass up from entry level to advanced bartending. Conveniently located just around the corner from the top-flight 3rd & 3rd downtown wine store, Boozetique is the place to source accouterments for any wine, beer or cocktail occasion, from recycled Utah brewery label coasters ($9) to cocktail mixers ($12-$25) to a gorgeous selection of decanters ($30 and up) and vintage glassware. And she’s got some of the best professional bartending equipment available in SLC; I’ve got the weighted Piña Founder’s Tin shaker on my wish list ($27.99). Planning on some home bar gifting (the best kind of hostess “hello”)? Ivy will put together a custom wood gift box with all the finished wrapping details included; you just need to sign the card.

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R

DARBY DOYLE

Copper Common bartender Ross Richardson

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SBG Drynks Guide. (And yes, autocorrect, that’s their spelling.) Look for the Utah Chapter of the U.S. Bartenders Guild (usbgutah.wordpress.com) to release their long-awaited cocktail compendium late this summer. Filled with original recipes, spins on classics and gorgeous photos, all shaken and stirred by your favorite drink-slingers around town. Founded in 2013 by local potions professional Sean Neaves, bartenders from the Utah chapter meet up regularly for continuing education and compete in national cocktail events (where they do pretty damn well). Although most members are professional bartenders, USBG membership is open to cocktail enthusiasts and lovers of all things boozy. Perks include seminars on technique, private industry-only tasting opportunities and once-in-alifetime meet-ups with brand legends like Ed Hamilton, who came to SLC for a recent rum-education afternoon at Lake Effect that USBG members are still recovering from in teary reminiscence.

JULY 20, 2017 | 31

DARBY DOYLE

S

tate Liquor Stores—welp, what can we say? Looks like this particular monopoly won’t end anytime soon, so let’s look at the silver lining, shall we? In addition to beverage taxes going to support the state’s general fund, liquor sales support programs like the public school lunch fund. So, basically, you’re doing it for the children. Favorite rationalization? Rather than having to call a dozen different private liquor stores to find a rare bottle of vino or unusual bourbon, just search the state DABC inventory online (abc.utah.gov) and find out not only if the brand is available in Utah, but at which store and how many bottles are in stock. Downside? The system is only as accurate as the information loaded into it. Before making the trek to Draper or St. George for that sparkly unicorn, call ahead and talk to a real person who can check the shelf for you. Out-ofstock items can be special ordered, too. Gather a few like-minded friends desperate for Averna or jones-ing for a unique gin and submit a case order through the DABC. It might take months to get your paws on it, but payment isn’t due until pick-up. The search engine for locating products is kind of clunky (to put it kindly) and buried in the website, but you can find the main link excavated just for you in the online version of this article. Good hunting, friends.

U

USBG Founder Sean Neaves shows off his bartending talents

V

DARBY DOYLE

Add all ingredients to a shaker with ice; shake until tin is frosty. Strain into a chilled coupe glass; garnish with a brandied cherry—or, for extra drama, some LolliPuff Gourmet Cotton Candy from Provo.

iolette—as in crème de violette, a violet-infused liqueur essential for making Aviation cocktails, which are as gorgeous as they are tasty. Although it was undoubtedly shaken up well before then, 1916 saw the first published Aviation cocktail recipe via New York City barman Hugo Ensslin. This’d be during America’s fledgling flirtation with all things flyboy-related.

(U.S. History 101 here: Wright Brothers, 1903, Kitty Hawk, steampunk goggles.) During Prohibition, French crème de violette was rarer than hen’s teeth in the U.S., but after WWII became more readily available at the same time commercial air travel was economically feasible for even middle-class Americans. In comparison with our current environment of be-sweatpants’d hordes and the indignities of compulsory disrobing and TSA pat-downs, the 1950s seem like travel’s halcyon days, at least as far as fashion and cocktails go, with “air hostesses” and “stewardesses” trained in the art of shaking and stirring dry martinis by request in the smoke-filled cabin. Hell, drinking a couple of Aviations before cramming into a typical coach seat might make our next flight a bit more bearable. Bar manager Chris Panarelli at O.P. Rockwell (268 Main, Park City, 435-5654486, oprockwell.com) has been making some killer variations on Aviations and Arsenic & Old Lace cocktails using violet liqueur. Can’t make it up to Park City? Finding crème de violette (or close relative Crème Yvette) can be a bit of a challenge in Utah, but there are almost always a handful of bottles floating around in the inventory. Pick one variety and you’ll have it for a while. No home bar needs multiple bottles of purple perfumed booze taking up room that could be used for really good bourbon.

X

ENRIQUE LIMÓN

2 ounces London dry gin (try New World’s Oomaw gin for a local spin) 1 ounce Luxardo maraschino liqueur ½ teaspoon crème de violette ¾ ounce fresh lemon juice ¼ ounce simple syrup

Factor. According to CW contributors, these local watering holes have it:

Enrique Limón, editor Boasting some of the best cocktails in town, it’s no wonder Good Grammar made this issue’s cover.

Whether you’re a fan of The Walking Dead or my personal adaptation, Walking Buzzed, their Zombie is sure to do the trick. This elixir comes loaded with a combination of rum, pineapple- and orange juice and a twist of lime for a true taste of the tropics—just add sunblock (not to the drink, naturally). 69 Gallivan Ave., 385-4155002, goodgrammar.bar Stephen Dark, senior staff writer Winding down from work, if I can gather a few shekels, then sipping an Old Fashioned Purgatory on

Tin Angel’s patio is the perfect evening aperitif. The blend of High West rye, spiced orange bitters underpinned by basil simple syrup melts away the post-deadline tension while conjuring up a genteel yesterday of cocktail parties and erudite chatter. 365 W. 400 South, 801-328-4155, thetinangel.com Dylan woolf Harris, staff writer When I’m looking to class up my beer, I order it with a skewer of olives—a tasty drink/snack combo a flight attendant clued me to one night at the Tavernacle Social Club. 201 E. 300 South, 801-5198900, tavernacle.com Scott Renshaw, A&E editor When waiting for a show at the Rose Wagner Center, I can’t resist chasing my dinner at Squatters Pub with a Chasing Tail Golden Ale. The English-style pale ale is

versatile enough so pair with plenty of meals, or a refreshing delight all on its own. 47 W. 300 South, 801-363-2739, squatters.com Andrea Harvey, copy editor As someone who prefers her booze bitter and a bit fruity, but not sweet, Whiskey Street’s New York Sour—made with Buffalo Trace bourbon, fresh lemon juice, simple syrup and a splash of red wine for ($9)—is my go-to. 323 S. Main, 801-433-1371, whiskeystreet.com Mike Riedel, beer columnist The Thor at Lake Effect satisfies my bourbon and espresso cravings in one glass. It’s made with Booker’s bourbon, Rittenhouse rye, espresso-infused demerara syrup, Angostura- and barrel-aged bitters. Oh, Baby! 155 W. 200 South, 801-532-2068, lakeeffectslc.com

32 | JULY 20, 2017

DON JUSTO

ine in Utah? Yup, that’s right. Utah wine. Not surprising, since our state’s warm, dry climate and rocky soil already supports a handful of vineyards with some serious terroir. Since the 1970s, Utah growers have been experimenting with wine grape varietals from cabernet sauvignon to chardonnay. Both Layton in the north and Moab to the south now support bustling tasting rooms and wine education seminars. Utah-based winemakers also source grapes from Oregon, Washington and California to produce their juice. And The Hive Winery has been a longtime source for smallbatch fruit wines, brandies and honey mead. One of the West’s renegade natural fermentation winemakers, Evan Lewandowski, makes wine right here in SLC when he’s not doing it in Australia, Africa or Alsace. Lewandowski is currently working with partners near Boulder, Utah, to develop an exciting new growing program there, and eloquently writes of Utah’s unique environment: “The soils here are varied and pretty amazing … pebbly, cobbly, rocky … sandstone, limestone, shale! Many places are absolutely perfect for the cultivation of extremely high-quality wine grapes. The same can be said for our climate here in Utah (political climate aside). I’m one million percent certain that world-class wine will one day be grown here. It’s a matter of time. If I don’t do it, someone else will.”

½ ounce tequila blanco ½ ounce yellow Chartreuse ¾ ounce sherry.

Y

Stir over ice, strain into Campari rinsed coupe.

Garnished with lemon peel.

DARBY DOYLE

W

KERRIFUKUI

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AVIATION (From New York’s Death & Co.’s Modern Classic Cocktails)

ellow Chartreuse—a slightly mellower kissing cousin to herbal and artichoke-forward green Chartreuse—is having a little moment in the cocktail scene. Not quite top-billing among global liqueur players, but definitely getting some well-deserved ensemble cast recognition. Made in a monastery near Grenoble, France, since the 1730s, legendarily only two Carthusian monks know the recipe for concocting Chartreuse of either hue at any one time. In comparison with potent green Chartreuse (bottled at 55 percent ABV), yellow Chartreuse has a more sweet, honey-like floral quality and is bottled at lower 80 proof (40 percent ABV). Bartenders particularly like the yellow version for balancing out strong bitter or sour elements. A little bit goes a long way, well worth the $30 splurge for a half-bottle (currently only available in Utah by special order). At Finca (327 W. 200 South, 801-487-0699, fincaslc.com) try a cocktail that barkeep Jared Asplund calls the “Don Justo” ($12), made with tequila blanco, yellow Chartreuse, sherry and a Campari rinse. For cocktail nerds, that’d be a bijou variation with Campari. De-lish.

PRICES GO UP DAY OF!

DARBY DOYLE

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est of citrus is more than something to drop in your cocktail for appearance sake, it’s a key component of the drink experience. Like any good performance, building a great cocktail has a compelling backstory, a bit of drama and a memorable presentation.

At The Rest (331 S. Main, below Bodega, 801-532-4042, bodega331.com), bar manager Adam Albro told me one night when stirring up a delightful Sazerac ($11), incorporating all of these elements along the way, that “rubbing oils from lemon zest to the rim and stem of a glass isn’t just for show; it adds to the whole sensory experience of the drink”—from the first whiff to the subtle fragrance lingering on your fingertips as you enjoy the cocktail. For the home bar, a good, sharp paring knife can get the zesting job done in a pinch. But fancy-schmancy shortcuts to make elaborate Pinterest-worthy garnishes—like the ones on that Pimm’s Cup cocktail, pictured above—require two inexpensive tools you might already have in your junk drawer: a narrow channel knife (with a V-shaped notch) and a horizontal (also called “Y”) vegetable peeler. Garnish game gauntlet, thrown.

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And that concludes our second annual A-Z Cocktail Guide. The best part of compiling this ode to Utah’s drinks scene? Recognizing the passion and talent of so many local producers and advocates keeping our community of cocktail enthusiasts growing. We’d love to hear about your favorite beverages, bars and talented beverage slingers in the comments, as we’re always up for exploring the best of our salty city and beyond. Cheers to that! CW

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You Don’t Know Jack’s

There’s a new go-to for brews and burgers in downtown Salt Lake City.

BY TED SCHEFFLER tscheffler@cityweekly.net @critic1

I

t doesn’t take much to convince me to try out a new burger joint—if you build it, I will come. The search for the perfect hamburger is never-ending, but I am more than happy to make it my mission, thus my recent visit to downtown Salt Lake City’s new Fat Jack’s Burger Emporium & Tap House.

The eatery is located on the ground floor of the Holiday Inn Express. It’s a space that was home to many less-than-memorable cafés and restaurants (remember Luke’s Café? Didn’t think so). But so far in its early run—it opened at the end of April—the restaurant seems to have staying power.

The first thing to know is that there is no Jack, fat or otherwise. An employee told me, “It just sounded like a catchy name.”

So, don’t claim to know Jack, because you don’t.

The second thing, is that it’s as much about brews as it is burgers. Beer lovers flock to this emporium to make hay with the vast array of suds. There are 16 on tap, and more than 80 by the bottle (including 11 low-points), ranging from several local Mountain West ciders and Epic beers, to Boddingtons Pub Ale, Mickey’s Malt Liquor and Unibroue Maudite. You’ll find something for everybody, including a respectable wine list, in addition to freshly made milkshakes. The peanut butter-banana shake ($5.50) is a must.

But about those burgers. You have to love the philosophy here, which is to use as many local products as possible in an effort to support area farmers and artisan

Fat Jack’s Classic burger food producers. There is also an attempt to source only natural and organic ingredients. So burgers are made with nonGMO produce, hormone-free, grass-fed Niman Ranch beef and Heber Valley Artisan Cheese. Buns are baked just a couple of blocks away at Vosen’s Bread Paradise. The fried chicken is free-range and the pastrami is house-cured. It takes extra effort and higher costs to produce such top-quality fare, so it was a pleasant surprise—in this day of the $18-$25 burger—to find that the offerings here are all under $10. A basic burger (called the Classic) is $7.59, and includes a wide array of free fixings.

You can choose from 11 burger options, including the pastrami ($9.29), the Angry Bleu ($9.29) and the Seoul with kimchi and sriracha ($8.29).

I come from the Anthony Bourdain “less is more” school of burger construction.

Cheese, yes. Bacon, sometimes. Fried egg, OK. A slice of tomato and lettuce, if you must. Grease is desirable. The bun ought not outweigh the meat. The aforementioned Classic certainly fits the bill. The great beef patty served on a perfectly sized, glistening bun. The quarter-pound patty was too thin to be called juicy (our server didn’t ask how I wanted it cooked), but it was very flavorful—enhanced with nothing more in my case than red onion, lettuce and cheddar. Perhaps it wasn’t perfect, but it wasn’t far off, either.

By contrast, the veggie burger was a plump, pleasing and probably three times thicker than the Classic. My wife was thrilled to be given the option of a glutenfree bun.

Bonus round: If you’re a fan of twicecooked french fries, Jack’s has you covered: They are superb, especially with a cold one to wash it down. CW

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BY SCOTT RENSHAW

Freshies Lobster Roll Award-Winning Utah Lobster

VENESSA HENNINGS

@scottrenshaw

Utah-based creators continue to show there are no geographical boundaries when it comes to some of America’s best food and drink. It might seem improbable that our landlocked state would top the charts for a seafood specialty, but that’s exactly what happened on July 8: Ben and Lorin Smaha—of Park City’s Freshies Lobster Co. (1897 Prospector Ave., 435631-9861, freshieslobsterco.com)—won the inaugural Down East Lobster Roll Festival in Portland, Maine. Their sandwich bested a field of 12 competitors, sealing a reputation that had already been established by a ranking among Yelp’s “Best Lobster Rolls in America.” According to Lorin, they almost passed on the opportunity entirely. “I definitely thought they would have a hard time crowning Utah as a victor,” she says. “It was such a busy week for the restaurant; we were waiting for our red-eye flight [to Maine], and we literally almost drove back home.”

Congratulations on the win, and on deciding to take that flight.

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Dinner and a Movie, Outdoors

In the summertime, many Wasatch Front cities and neighborhoods offer free outdoor movies; Riverton chooses to take its offerings up a notch.

Members of Utah’s Food Truck League (thefoodtruckleague.com) bring their delicious goodies to Riverton City Park (1452 W. 12800 South) on Friday nights through August to accompany the family-friendly evening film offerings.

Food truck service starts at 6 p.m., with movies beginning at dusk (weather permitting). Remaining films for the season include Pete’s Dragon (July 21), The Great Gilly Hopkins (July 28), The Secret Life of Pets (Aug. 11) and more; visit rivertoncity.com for the full schedule.

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Mo’Money for Mo’Bettahs

A decade of hard work has paid off for Kimo and Kalani Mack, whose Bountifulbased Hawaiian-style restaurant chain Mo’Bettahs was acquired on July 1 by Utah’s Four Foods Group management company. The six locations—in Salt Lake City, Bountiful, Logan, Midvale, West Valley City and Lehi—continue to feature their popular menu of combos featuring steak, kalua pork, chicken and shrimp.

36 | JULY 20, 2017

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W

hen the days are long and the temperatures high, you can’t help but reach for an ice cold lager. Undoubtedly, one of the most famous summer beer styles is the Mexican-style lager. If you were to ask me what makes it so widely popular, I’d have to credit its crisp, smooth flavor, prickly carbonation and relative low alcohol content.

Ironically, the story of this North American classic begins with German immigrants. Beer became an instant staple in the U.S. and Canada, but it wasn’t until the end of the Mexican War of Independence that beer culture took hold south of the border. Prior to this, Mexican brews were primarily corn- and agave-based. Then came the Europeans. Their invasion of Mexico included the introduction of their beloved brewing traditions which molded this style of beer into what we know today. Many labels remain true to their Euro origins, while some others have taken on the influence of Mexican agriculture.

Here are three local iterations guaranteed to help you beat the heat.

Hoppers Grill & Brewing Co.’s El Norteño This made-in-Midvale lager pours a yellow golden color that is mostly clear with a visible stream of ascending bubbles. The nose is a bit toasty— almost woody—with a hint of corn.

The flavor begins with slightly nutty sweet malts and some vague cereal grains come in next, giving it a hint of Corn Pops flavor. Hops emerge next, providing a subtle smack of spice, grass and floral dryness. The finish is typical for its Austrian influences—slightly sweet and herbal. It’s remarkably easy to drink, yet satisfying at 4 percent ABV. Overall, this is the closest to what a Mexican-influenced lager should be.

It takes all of its cues from the European tradition, but uses local grains to make it unique.

Epic Brewing’s Los Locos

This one pours a slightly hazy straw color with dense foam that reduces to a lingering cap. The nose is bright and brash with touches of lime, sodium, corn and crackers.

Herbal hops make their way next, adding a bit of earthiness. The taste starts with lime and sea salt. Biscuit comes next, with a bit of sweet corn.

The herbal/grassy hops play well with these sweeter tones, allowing the lime to carry onto the finish. No warming alcohol is detected.

This is the beer my imagination would create if tasked with marrying the Old and New Worlds. For a fruity adjunct lager, it has good body and manages to balance out the lime, salt and corn with pale malts.

Ringing in at around 4 or 5 percent ABV (depending on the batch), it’s crisp, smooth and refreshing.

MR

MR

BY MIKE RIEDEL comments@cityweekly.net @utahbeer

MR

Centuries after its introduction, the humble lager remains queen of summer cerveza.

Oskar Blues Brewery’s Beerito

BEER NER

Lager, Faster, Stronger

They might be Colorado-based, but the love Oskar Blues has shown the Beehive—including a partnership with the Utah Brewers Cooperative last year—earns them a nod. Beerito pours a deep copper with orange highlights. The nose suggests hints of nutty brown malts, peppers, toasted bread and grassy herbal hops. The flavor begins with light honey sweetness, then transitions into more traditional toasted biscuit and caramel notes. A couple sips in, the hops begin to assert themselves, providing a moderate amount of herbal and spicy bitterness at the end of the swig. As for the finish, it’s slightly peppery and grassy.

In my opinion, this this is closest to the beer Europeans made following the conquest. At 4 percent ABV, it’s a nice Vienna lager with complexity, thanks to a moderate amount of earthy hop flavors.

Commercial examples like Corona, Dos Equis and Tecate will have a bit of skunkiness to their aroma and taste, which is an evolving part of their flavor profiles. These three profiled examples are guaranteed to be skunk-free. ¡Salúd! CW

FILM REVIEW

Paint by Numbers

CINEMA

Maudie is more gentle romance than portrait of a tortured artist.

BY ERIC D. SNIDER comments@cityweekly.net @ericdsnider

SONY PICTURES CLASSICS

F

Ethan Hawke and Sally Hawkins in Maudie keeper at first, less important to him than his dogs and his chickens (he says so explicitly). But no matter how grumpy Everett gets, Maud remains cheerful and optimistic, seemingly unfazed by him. He warns her on their wedding day that he’s “still gonna be contrary tomorrow,” but Maud knows he’s softening. There is a sublime pleasure in watching his evolution.

Of course, that only works thanks to Hawkins’ portrayal of Maud as a pure, resilient woman who has never harmed anyone and has a smile for everyone. The narrative choice to mostly avoid talking about her physical afflictions and not to dwell on her life’s other setbacks has the added effect of making Maud seem stoic and uncomplaining, earning our esteem rather than our pity. It’s a nice, unassuming movie you might take your mother to, with a warmth that compensates for its lack of insight. CW

BBB Sally Hawkins Ethan Hawke Gabrielle Rose PG-13

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Born to Be Blue (2015) Ethan Hawke Carmen Ejogo R

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In between her household chores (which she isn’t very good at), Maud passes the time by painting lovely, unsophisticated pictures of birds and flowers and other basic subjects, first on the walls of the house, then on postcards and other scraps.

One of Everett’s fishmonger customers (Kari Matchett)—with an eye for art and sympathy for a working woman—offers to buy a few of them, and next thing you know, Maud and Everett have a modest side business.

Walsh and White present Maud Lewis’ life as a love story of sorts, with Everett’s initial indifference and occasional disdain toward Maud growing into affection as he’s won over by her goodness. The film shows no interest in the details of Maud’s health problems (which were evidently much worse than the film lets on), only using her increasingly stooped posture and withered hands to indicate the passage of time. This story isn’t really about her art, either, or the fame it brings her; there are no on-screen titles at the end describing her legacy as one of Canada’s most enduring folk artists, or telling us where her work is now.

No, it’s the unorthodox, unromantic love story between two misfits—“a pair of odd socks,” as Maud calls them—who find compatibility. Hawke, in a role you could picture Clint Eastwood taking 40 years ago, effectively captures Everett’s subtle tenderness. Maud is just a mediocre house-

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olk-art buffs and extremely patriotic Canadians might already know the story of Maud Lewis, an arthritic Nova Scotian who sold her simple but charming paintings out of the tiny house she shared with her fishmonger husband in the middle decades of the 20th century.

For the rest of us, there’s Maudie, a gentle biopic directed by Aisling Walsh (Song for a Raggy Boy) and written by Canadian TV producer Sherry White, with the great Sally Hawkins as Maud. It’s not exactly a Pollocklevel dissection of a tortured artist—but, hey, Maud Lewis wasn’t exactly Pollock either.

When our story begins, in approximately the late 1930s, Maud Dowley is a disabled 30-something woman living with her aunt Ida (Gabrielle Rose) because she cannot take care of herself. Or so everyone assumes; we don’t hear any doctors’ opinions. Maud is stiff, walks with a limp, and one of her arms is a bit twisted—and our first impression is maybe cerebral palsy. (It’s only in passing much later that the real culprit— arthritis—is mentioned.) Additionally, her wide, innocent grin and halting speech suggest a mental slowness, though this turns out not to be the case. She’s guileless and naive, but she isn’t dim.

She meets Everett Lewis (Ethan Hawke), a gruff, unlettered bachelor, when he posts an ad for a housemaid. Why he needs a livein maid to keep things tidy in a 200-squarefoot house is not addressed, but I suppose that’s how it was in those days. Even for a resident of a rural Canadian fishing village, Everett is old-fashioned. The car he drives has a hand crank, and his little house has no electricity. He doesn’t even have a second bed for his live-in maid, so Maud has to share his.

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CINEMA CLIPS

MOVIE TIMES AND LOCATIONS AT CITYWEEKLY.NET

NEW THIS WEEK Information is correct at press time. Film release schedules are subject to change.

DUNKIRK BBB Christopher Nolan is an extraordinarily talented filmmaker, and also his movies are often just plain exhausting. Here he tackles the 1940 evacuation of 400,000 British troops from France, intertwining three narratives covering different time frames: a British private (Fionn Whitehead) trying to find transport home from the beach at Dunkirk; a British man (Mark Rylance) bringing his private boat across the Channel as part of the conscripted civilian fleet assisting in the evacuation; and a British Spitfire pilot (Tom Hardy) providing air support. Nolan dives right into his harrowing scenario without loading his characters with backstory, trusting that the situations themselves will inspire the needed emotional connection, and the gambit mostly works over a tight 107 minutes. But the complete absence of narrative downtime also creates an experience that—combined with Hans Zimmer’s revved-up, ticking-clock score—has viewers on high alert for virtually the entirety of that running time. The heroic stories effectively convey the resilience that turned a defeat into a defining moment of British national character; it might have been nice to have a bit more breathing time to appreciate it. Opens July 21 at theaters valleywide. (PG-13)—Scott Renshaw GIRLS TRIP [not yet reviewed] Four old friends have wild misadventures during a vacation in New Orleans. Opens July 21 at theaters valleywide. (R) MAUDIE BBB See review on p. 39. Opens July 21 at Broadway Centre Cinemas.

(PG-13) VALERIAN AND THE CITY OF A THOUSAND PLANETS [not yet reviewed] Director Luc Besson adapts the French graphic novel series about an interstellar metropolis faced with a mysterious threat. Opens July 21 at theaters valleywide. (PG-13)

SPECIAL SCREENINGS CADDYSHACK At Park City Library, July 20, 7 p.m. (R)

explorations of humanity at its worst—and, occasionally, its best. Chimpanzee Caesar (Andy Serkis) still leads the intelligent ape troop in a world where a plague wiped out most of the human race, now facing a violent warlord (Woody Harrelson) whose actions inspire Caesar to seek revenge. Serkis’ remarkable motion-capture performance as Caesar continues to be the anchor of these movies, and it’s particularly unsettling watching him wrestle with his own worst impulses. Yet these movies are never tedious philosophical exercises, though director Matt Reeves’ tone is often dark aside from the comic relief of Bad Ape (Steve Zahn). This might not be typical light-hearted summer movie fare, but there’s a richer payoff than beating the bad guy: finding the strength to recognize the bad guy in ourselves.

(PG-13)—SR

FRAILTY At Tower Theatre, July 21-22, 11 p.m.; July 23, noon. (R) THE RED PONY At Main Library Auditorium, July 26, 2 p.m. (NR) SACRED At Main Library Auditorium, July 25, 7 p.m. (NR)

CURRENT RELEASES THE B-SIDE: ELSA DORFMAN’S PORTRAIT PHOTOGRAPHY BBB Open, jovial Elsa Dorfman hardly seems like the kind of slippery subject whom documentary director Errol Morris has typically pinned under the gaze of his “Interrotron” camera. Dorfman is a photographer, and The B-Side might have been intriguing simply for images she has captured over the years of people like Joni Mitchell, Bob Dylan and her longtime friend Allen Ginsberg.

Yet the focal point becomes Dorfman’s chosen artistic instrument—the Polaroid camera—and how its obsolescence tracks with her nearing the end of her career, and the intimations of mortality she confronts in the death of friends and family, or watching herself get older in self-portraits. Dorfman’s honestly superficial approach to her art frames everything Morris shows us. Like this documentary, sometimes a work of art succeeds not by digging deeply, but simply by capturing an elusive moment in time. (NR)—SR

WISH UPON B.5 On the surface, this lazy teen horror story is basically Edge of Seventeen meets The Monkey’s Paw: Unhappy high-school student Clare (Joey King) starts to improve her status, thanks to a strange Chinese “wishing box,” only to learn her wishes come with a cost. This might have been an interesting way to explore teen angst and learning to accept the pitfalls of life, with director John R. Leonetti employing a few tensionbuilding fake-outs before his comedically over-the-top death scenes. But the “rules” of the mystical wish-granting make no sense, and the backstory of Clare’s dead mother remains frustratingly unexplored. Most depressing of all, Wish Upon abandons its chance to be a genuine cautionary tale in favor of a cheap shock. If you’re not going to be scary, coherent or thematically interesting, you’re just wasting 90 minutes of everyone’s time. (PG-13)—SR

THE LITTLE HOURS BB Whatever Jeff Baena (Life After Beth, Joshy) is trying to do as a filmmaker, I don’t get it. Here, he loosely adapts a story from Boccaccio’s Decameron about a medieval Italian convent, and three nuns (Alison Brie, Aubrey Plaza and Kate Micucci) thrown into a tizzy by the arrival of a young servant (Dave Franco) seeking sanctuary after cuckolding his master. An impressive comedic supporting cast brings multiple levels of goofiness to the proceedings, and Micucci’s manic performance is a standout. There’s just a level on which Baena seems convinced that it’s self-evidently hilarious for nuns to say “fuck”—and that’s saying nothing of how weirdly dark this thing can abruptly turn.

Whatever spirited satire of church mores Boccaccio might have been offering, it’s lost here in material far more concerned with being naughty than with making any sense. (R)—SR

THE WOMEN’S BALCONY BBB.5 This Israeli box-office hit opens with one of the most delightful depictions of a joyful life I’ve ever seen on screen: Happy, laughing neighbors winding their way through narrow Jerusalem streets, carrying homemade food to a bar mitzvah celebration.

The dramedy that springs from that point is about what happens when a newcomer sows discord. Their charismatic new rabbi is much more conservative than even these Orthodox Jews, and his plans for their synagogue—both building and congregation—cause a rift between men and women; the ladies do not appreciate the tiny box the rabbi would like to constrain them to, staging an angry but affable revolt. This debut feature from director Emil Ben-Shimon and screenwriter Shlomit Nehama is a beautifully sketched portrait of a community under strain, one you don’t have to be Jewish to take great pleasure in.

(NR)—MaryAnn Johanson

WAR FOR THE PLANET OF THE APES BBB.5 This saga has become one of popular culture’s most fascinating

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Master of None without the high-art diversions, or Atlanta from a less-broke, female perspective. Insecure is utterly unique even in the Peak TV era—check it out, ballers.

When a San Francisco news producer and mom (Paula Patton) suddenly finds herself experiencing a murder-filled week all over again, will she do what it takes to prevent the body count—even if it means making “the ultimate sacrifice”? (Yeah, the mention of “mom” telegraphed what that sacrifice might be from a mile away.) Somewhere Between (series debut, Monday, July 24, ABC) is a serial-killer crime drama with a supernatural-ish twist, ripped-off from a Korean series and Americanized, replete with standard-issue block-of-wood husband figure (J.R. Bourne) and sexy-scruffy excop (Devon Sawa) Male Figures. This might make for a decent future binge, but it’s nothing you want to relive week-to-week.

On the other hand, Midnight, Texas (series debut, Monday, July 24, NBC), a fizzy-and-busy fantasy thriller from True Blood-inspiring novelist Charlaine Harris, has Appointment TV potential. Bernado (FranÇois Arnaud), a psychic on the lam, hides out in the small town of Midnight, a “safe haven for supernaturals” that “sits on the veil between the living and hell,” and befriends the colorful locals, including the usual vampires, witches, werewolves and—most terrifying of all—writers. Midnight, Texas plays like a PG-rated mashup of True Blood and Preacher that takes itself more seriously than it should, but it’s also the most imaginative show any broadcast network is offering up this summer.

Speaking of weird shit going down in small towns, what’s up with People of Earth (Season 2 premiere Monday, July 24, TBS)? Beacon, N.Y., is still in the midst of an oddly casual alien invasion, and the local support group of abductees, or “experiencers,” including journalist Ozzie (Wyatt Cenac), are still trying to make sense of it all. Weird, droll and empathetic all at once, People of Earth is the most complex of TBS’ new wave of original comedies—bring up Search Party and I will cut you—and the Season 2 arrival of Nasim Pedrad (New Girl, Scream Queens) as an FBI investigator should sweeten the mix even more. The best gag of all: an alien-invasion comedy set in a town called Beacon. Ha! CW

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here were sooo many questions at the end of 2015’s Descendants that Descendants 2 (movie, Friday, July 21, Disney Channel) was inevitable … probably. Not being 12, I have no idea. Anyway: Descendants was about impossibly pretty teens who happened to be the offspring of Disney villains being liberated from the Isle of the Lost (aka Bad People Island) and given a chance to live straight in the United States of Auradon (aka Queen Belle and King Beast’s Socialist Utopia). In Descendants 2, one of the rainbow-haired kids (Dove Cameron) gets sick of being “good” and returns to the Isle of the Lost, only to find her old friends resentful for being left behind and/or left out of the Disney merchandising. Also: Singing!

Of all shows, TBS’ Wrecked summed up Ballers (Season 3 premiere, Sunday, July 23, HBO) best recently: “Game of Thrones?

The best thing on HBO is Ballers! Who doesn’t want to see The Rock as a ripped financial advisor?” Can’t argue with that— how else could this make it to a third season? Sure, the comic interplay between exNFL star Spencer (Dwayne Johnson) and his sports-management partner Joe (Rob Corddry) remains on-point, but whenever the camera’s off them—which is far too often—there’s no one else here to give a shit about, just the spoiled athletes and billionaire owners of Sportsball Entourage. At least Steve Guttenberg(!) shows up this season as a Las Vegas casino mogul.

It makes little sense for Insecure (Season 2 premiere, Sunday, July 23, HBO) to be paired-up with Ballers on Sunday nights; a pricey, testosterone-jacked sausage fest leading into a low-key indie-flick-esque comedy about an awkward young black woman’s (Issa Rae) life and relationship travails defies logic—but at last it’ll enjoy a larger audience then Sarah Jessica Parker’s downer Divorce delivered in its debut season. Rae’s web-series-turned-TV-comedy is as organic and unpretentious as shows loosely based on their creators get, like

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Punk-rock legends Descendents grow up.

BY ALEX SPRINGER comments@cityweekly.net @captainspringer

T

here’s a moment during our phone conversation when Bill Stevenson— drummer and founding member of SoCal’s legendary punk-rock outfit Descendents—describes his longtime bromance with lead vocalist Milo Aukerman.

“Milo is one of those few people in your life where you can pick up the phone and talk to them like you’ve picked up a conversation that you had the night before, even though you haven’t talked in a year,” he says. That’s what it’s like listening to the band’s latest release, Hypercaffium Spazzinate (Epitaph, 2016). It’s the first time they’ve released new music since 2004’s Cool to Be You (Fat Wreck Chords), yet despite the 12-year lapse between albums, it feels like a return to an energetic exchange that was only on pause.

Stevenson co-founded Descendents in the late ’70s with Tony Lombardo, Frank Navetta and Aukerman. After three albums and a bit of a membership shuffle, Stevenson and Aukerman met bassist Karl Alvarez and guitarist Stephen Egerton, two locals who were playing with Salt Lake City hardcore pioneers Massacre Guys. “Milo and I have been best buddies since the dawn of time, and so it is with Karl and Stephen,” Stevenson says. The collaboration with Egerton and Alvarez stuck—the four have been playing together for 30 years. “We feel a strong connection to Salt Lake,” he adds. “I feel like I grew up in Salt Lake myself just from hearing Karl and Stephen talk about it.”

The 39-year lifespan of Descendents has been marked by periodic pauses, side projects and academic pursuits. While Aukerman took time off to pursue a Ph.D. in biochemistry—working for DuPont and the University of Delaware—Stevenson, Alvarez and Egerton formed the band All, which recorded and toured with a rotating roster of vocalists that included Scott Reynolds of Bonesaw Romance and Chad Price from Drag the River. Between Cool (which took eight years to materialize) and Hypercaffium, Stevenson and Alvarez played together in The Last, while Alvarez joined The Lemonheads and fronted Underminer and the Vultures. Egerton released a solo album and played with Stevenson in the FLAG, a version of Black Flag.

But it’s not like they spend that much time apart. Stevenson says that when Descendents were on hiatus—usually due to Aukerman’s day job, which he gave up in 2016 to become a full-time musician again—All stayed active to some degree. “Karl, Stephen and I have never really taken much hiatus from each other,” Stevenson adds.

Through their lengthy existence, the band has become family, weathering life’s ups and downs together. “You see people grow up, get married, get divorced, have heart attacks and brain surgeries,” he says. “We’ve been through our whole life together.”

Alvarez suffered a mild heart attack in 2007, but Stevenson has had the most health issues, starting with the discovery of a large brain tumor in 2010. Since then, he’s undergone multiple craniotomies and an open-lung surgery that culminated in a triple bypass. In retrospect, he says the diagnosis was good news, because it gave a name and solution to his health problems: “I was like, OK, this is why I suck, and apparently they can go in and take the tumor out, and I won’t suck anymore.” It wasn’t an immediate fix, however; the growth also

KEVIN SCANLON

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CONCERT PREVIEW

Stephen Egerton, Bill Stevenson, Milo Aukerman and Karl Alvarez caused a pulmonary embolism that surgeons removed in 2015.

Painfully grown-up experiences like these form the emotional basis of Hypercaffium Spazzinate. As per Descendents tradition, each band member contributes a few songs to every album, and Stevenson’s “Spineless and Scarlet Red” and “Victim of Me” (co-written with Egerton) explore the haze that descended upon his life and marriage during the years before his surgeries. “We’re not song craftsmen—none of us are organized enough to write songs like that,” he says. “With me, something bad will happen, and I’ll write a song that serves as a catharsis, like the blues did.

I’ll get that bad thing out of me, and then I can move on.”

In April, the band released a new single, “Who We Are,” that aims to help cure the world of a different malady. “I didn’t do anything to personally stop what happened in November,” Stevenson says. “I sat drinking my craft beer with my enlightened liberal friends laughing about how there’s no way Trump’s going to get to be president—but, look what happened! I think all four of us felt like we had failed. Milo wrote that song, and we decided to give whatever money raised from it to some folks that are trying to do some good.” The beneficiaries include the American Civil Liberties Union, Planned Parenthood and the Southern Poverty Law Center.

Does the single forecast new music sooner rather than much, much later? That’s hard to say. What’s certain is the band that in 1985 proclaimed I Don’t Want to Grow Up, has done exactly that— collectively. “The bands that started for the right reasons tend to stay together,” Stevenson says. “For us, the camaraderie was the most important thing, and that still holds true.” CW

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3928 HIGHLAND DR

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LIVE

BY RANDY HARWARD

THURSDAY 7/20 Prince has passed on to the great Paisley Park in the sky, to rule an afterlife where things are much easier than in this mortal realm. There, on purple clouds, he grinds with Darling Nikki and Vanity, pouring merlot down upon us like hyperbolic purple rain. This, while we guzzle a deluge of posthumous releases and YouTube footage even fake psychics could’ve predicted. But it does little to fill the ornate and pointy symbol-name-shaped holes in our hearts, because we will never again get to see him do his thing on stage. That’s where cats like Marshall Charloff come in. Charloff portrays the Purple One in the tribute act The Purple Xperience, as well as with local orchestras like our own Utah Symphony. The Xperience is more of a tribute, with Charloff—looking, singing, dancing and playing like our hero—fronting a band that cops the look and style of Prince’s backing musicians (like Dez Dickerson, right down to the Japanese headband). Symphonic or otherwise, tributes are at best reasonable facsimiles of the original act, and among the half-dozen or so Prince impersonators on YouTube, Charloff is one of the best. Is he our Dr. Everything’llbeallright? Can he harness the wattage of one of the world’s most electrifying performers? Of course not. But he’s close enough. Deer Valley Resort’s Snow Park Outdoor Amphitheater, 2250 S. Deer Valley Drive, Park City, 7:30 p.m., $39-$96 ($15 youth tickets available), all ages, deervalleymusicfestival.org

SATURDAY 7/22

Club Nouveau, Karyn White, Surface

When the Timex Social Club debuted with their track “Rumors,” everyone who’d ever

Club Nouveau

ROGER MOORE

The Music of Prince with the Utah Symphony

been back-bitten by someone else took it to heart. So did the band and their producer/ musical director, Jay King. They wound up talking shit about each other after a disagreement led to the unwinding of Timex not long after the release of “Rumors”— and the founding of Club Nouveau, with King at the helm. Nouveau led off with the single “Jealousy,” an exercise in metagossip, addressing the breakup. Then they hit it big in 1987 with their cover of Bill Withers’ “Lean on Me,” which in spite of its poppiness actually retained the sincerity of the original. Although Nouveau dropped five albums in a decade, they too came to be thought of as one-hit wonders. That doesn’t mean they didn’t have some good tunes. They’re joined tonight by two other acts from the same era: soul diva Karyn White (“Secret Rendezvous,” “Romantic”) and trio Surface (“The First Time”), who make the bill more than the usual ‘80s and ‘90s nostalgia experience. Infinity Event Center, 26 E. 600 South, 8 p.m., $35$50, 21+, infinityeventcenter.com

Marshall Charloff as Prince cowpunk band of all time (besides The Beat Farmers): They rule, and Mike Ness is a dick. Although anecdotal allegations abound, and the list of past band members shows more turnover than the Arby’s dessert menu, I can’t speak to the latter.

But the former is the unvarnished truth and, even if Ness isn’t very nice, the music he’s pumped out with the band we know affectionately as “Social D” earns him bigups forever. The band took a victory lap around the country last year on the 20th anniversary of their debut album, playing hits and tracks off their upcoming new album, which still ain’t quite ready. But that’s just fine, because the band always delivers the goods onstage. Jade Jackson, whose Ness-produced debut Finish Line (Anti-) shows a voice and songs as hot as her 21st-century Bettie Page pin-up girl looks, opens. The Depot, 400 W. South Temple, 7 p.m., $41 presale, $46 day of show, 21+, depotslc.com

Social Distortion, Jade Jackson

Here are two things you tend to hear about Social Distortion, the greatest

Social Distortion

DANNY CLINCH

ANDRE JONES

44 | JULY 20, 2017

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THIS WEEK’S MUSIC PICKS

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RANDY'S RECORD SHOP VINYL RECORDS NEW & USED CD’s, 45’s, Cassettes, Turntables & Speakers

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Indian Style Tapas

From the Creators of The Himalayan Kitchen Next to Himalayan Kitchen

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Weekend Music

Friday 7/21 - FSHTNK Saturday 7/22 - J Godina & Caviar Club DJ’s Wednesdays - Live Jazz

7.15 VIVA LA DIVA @ CLUB-X

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ChakraLounge.net 364 S State St. Salt Lake City Open 5 - 1am Mon-Thurs • 10am - 1am Fri-Sun Offering full bar, with innovative elixers, late night menu & weekend brunch

6:00PM - 9:00PM

AT FAIRMONT PARK

JULY 24, 2017

3:00PM - 7:00PM

AT BEER BAR

JULY 20, 2017 | 45

PIE AND BEER DAY

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YAPPY HOUR

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LIVE Music thursday, july 20

NATHAN SPENCER AND RICHARD ROMERO

KARAOKE & pick-a-prize bingo

karaoke @ 9:00 i bingo @ 9:30, 10:30, 11:30 Thursday 7/20

Reggae

at the Royal

mighty mystic

saturday, july 22

DJ FRESHNESS

w/ Kimo watanabe

$

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amfs & long islands 1/2 off nachos & Free pool

friDAY 7/21

Live Music

LIVE

UB40 Legends: Ali, Astro & Mickey, Matisyahu, Raging Fyah

UB40

Stories of bands breaking up and then bickering over the rights to tour under the band’s moniker are as interesting and juicy as they are rote. U.K. reggae-pop outfit UB40 has been embroiled in one such kerfuffle for close to a decade now, with one version led by singer Ali Campbell and featuring keyboard player Mickey Virtue, and another comprised of most of the original band—including trumpeter/percussionist/ vocalist Astro, along with a new singer, Ali’s brother Duncan. Of course, the makers of usually blissful music squabbled about that, with the Campbell brothers especially butt-hurt about the whole thing.

Now Astro has defected back to Ali’s camp and it’s still pretty much business as usual, with both acts on the road. Which is a good thing for fans, because either way they still get to hear those great songs, like “Red Red Wine” and “Rat in Mi Kitchen.” And with Jewish Rasta rapper Matisyahu and another reggae act out of Jamaica, Raging Fyah, there should be enough good vibes floatin’ around the Complex this Saturday that you’ll forget UB40 be fighting (and who you be, too). The Complex, 536 W. 100 South, 7 p.m., $46 presale, $53 day of show, all ages, thecomplexslc.com

Jason CoZmo Presents Saturdays 6:30pm DOORS | 8pm SHOW

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wednesday 7/19

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JULY 20, 2017 | 47

326 S. West Temple • Open 11-2am, M-F 10-2am Sat & Sun graciesslc.com • 801-819-7565

GROOVEMENT WISEBIRD PIXIE & THE PARTYGRASS BOYS CROOK AND THE BLUFF OPEN BLUES JAM HOSTED BY ROBBY’S BLUES EXPLOSION

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SUNDAY 7/23

CONCERTS & CLUBS

SANDRA REK

Elf Power, Muzzle Tung

THURSDAY 7/20

From Athens, Ga., Elf Power (est. 1994) seems the most mild-mannered of the Elephant 6 Collective. As opposed to the work of their peers—the trenchant power pop of The Apples in Stereo, the over-the-top theatrical psychedelia of Of Montreal, the demented poetry of Jeff Mangum’s Neutral Milk Hotel or the mad-scientific hall-of-mirrors of The Olivia Tremor Control—Elf Power’s folk-pop miniatures, as much as they meander down circuitous avenues of sonic distraction, are somewhat restrained. But the group’s albums— musical ruminations that live up to titles like A Dream in Sound (Arena Rock, 1999), Treasures From the Trash Heap (self-released, 2006)—nonetheless seize the imagination through progressive-compulsive exposure, until you’ve taken up permanent residence in their sonic fantasyland. How fortunate that on April Fools’ Day 2014 at The Depot, I got to see them open for NMH, who played their magnum opus In the Aeroplane Over the Sea (Merge, 1998) in its entirety. That night, both acts reminded the crowd that musical inventiveness is possible and necessary. (Elf Power junkies will note that the outfit’s 2008 collaboration with Vic Chesnutt and the Amorphous Strums, Dark Developments, performed a similar feat.) The band’s 13th album, Twitching in Time (Orange Twin, 2017) continues their esoteric pop wanderings, in which they employ such instrumental exotica as the Casio digital horn, often erroneously called a “zanzithophone.” Local openers Muzzle Tung know a thing or two about adventurous music, and will nicely complement Elf Power. Don’t miss them.

(Brian Staker) Kilby Court, 741 S. 330 West, 7 p.m., $12, all ages, kilbycourt.com

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

LIVE MUSIC

Billy Changer + Cupidcome (Urban Lounge) Coral Bones + New Shack + Emily Brown (Velour) Henry & The Invisibles (Gracie’s) Mary Chapin Carpenter + Sarah Jarosz (Red Butte Garden) John Davis (Hog Wallow Pub) Joshy Soul & the Cool (Gallivan Center) The Lil Smokies (O.P. Rockwell) The Music of Prince feat. Marshall Charloff with the Utah Symphony (Deer Valley Snow Park Amphitheater) see p. 44 Twilight Concert Series feat. Little Dragon + Xenia Rubinos + Angel Magic (Pioneer Park) Spite + Untamed Engine (The Loading Dock)

DJ Handsome Hands (Bourbon House) Dueling Pianos (The Spur) Dueling Pianos: Troy & JD (Tavernacle) Hot Noise + Guest DJ (The Red Door) Jazz Jam Session (Sugar House Coffee) The New Wave (‘80s Night) (Area 51) Therapy Thursdays feat. Cazzette (Sky)

KARAOKE

Cowboy Karaoke (The Cabin) Karaoke with DJ Benji (A Bar Named Sue) Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge) Live Band Karaoke (Club 90)

FRIDAY 7/21 LIVE MUSIC

Amanda Perez (Liquid Joe’s) Andy Frasco & The U.N. + Kris Lager Band (O.P. Rockwell) Après Ski (The Cabin)

FRI 7.21• FREE KITTENS COMEDY SHAYNE SMITH RACHEL ROTHENBERG, ARASH TADJIKI, JESSE ROTHENBERG 6PM DOORS

FRI 7.21• BACK TO THE FUTURE PROM GREENMONT, DJ FUNKEEBOSS 9PM DOORS

SAT 7.22 • ROONEY

Parasitic Ejaculation + Tomb of Belial + Blackened Blood + Voidsmen (The Loading Dock) Salt Lake Sax Summit plays Gershwin (Holladay City Hall Park) Secret Abilities + Hat Trick + Pacificana (The Ice Haüs) The Wild War + Creature Double Feature + The White Clouds (Kilby Court)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE DJ Brisk & Juggy (Bourbon House) DJ Godina (Gracie’s) DJ Stario (Downstairs) Dueling Pianos feat. Troy & Jules (Tavernacle) Friday Night Fun (All-Request Dance) w/ DJ Twitch (Area 51) Funkin’ Friday w/ DJ Rude Boy & Bad Boy Brian (Johnny’s on Second) Hot Noise (The Red Door)

THUR 7.20 • JASON MERRIAM BENEFIT

THU 7.20 • BILLY CHANGER CUPIDCOME, LORD VOX

Back to the Formal + Greenmont + DJ Funkee Boss (Urban Lounge) The Band Perry (Sandy Amphitheater) Bonanza Town (O.P. Rockwell) Brent Johnson & The Call Up (Brewskis) Candy’s River House (Hog Wallow Pub) The Chad Ellis Band (The Outlaw Saloon) Cinders + The Solarists + John Michael Marinos (Velour) Diana Krall + The Utah Symphony (Deer Valley Snow Park Amphitheater) Descendents + The Bronx + Endless Struggle (The Complex) see p. 42 Hemlock + October Rage + Poon Hammer + LHAW (The Royal) Inside Job + Flyt Plan (Wilmington Plaza) Joshy Soul (Alleged) King Strang and the Stranglers (Piper Down Pub) Live Local Music (A Bar Named Sue) Live Music on the Plaza Deck (Snowbird) Lyle Lovett & His Large Band (Red Butte Garden)

7/26: CAVE SINGERS 7/27: FREE SALAMANDER EXHIBIT 7/28: THE SWORD 7/29: NICK NASH 7/29: DIRT FIRST TAKEOVER 7/30: SLEEPY SUN

RUN RIVER NORTH 6PM DOORS

SAT 7.22 • VISITORS EP RELEASE BIRD WATCHER, SUNSLEEPER 9 PM DOORS

MON 7.24 • PIE & BEER DAY & MAD ALCHEMY CARAVAN TOUR TUES 7.25 • IN THE VALLEY BELOW FLAGSHIP

• THEURBANLOUNGESLC.COM •

FOLK HOGAN, DEZECRATION

FRI 7.21 • HAVEN OF HUES QUEER DANCE PARTY SAT 7.22 • BETH DITTO U.S. GIRLS

TUE 7.25 • 3TEETH

CONTAMINATED INTELLIGENCE, NATAS LIVED

7/29: HALLOWEEN IN JULY 7/30: EX-CULT 8/2: ADELITAS WAY 8/3: BAGLADY 8/4: DETHRONE THE SOVEREIGN 8/8: HE IS LEGEND

WED 7.26 • THE SLAP FROST SUMMER VACATION Z-MAN, DJ TRUE JUSTICE, VOCAB SLICK, 33 DEEP, AND MORE

THUR 7.27 • TWILIGHT AFTER-PARTY: VINYL WILLIAMS GLOE, PRIMITIVE PROGRAMME

FRI 7.28 • THE CRYSTAL METHOD LOKI

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CONCERTS & CLUBS COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE AT CITYWEEKLY.NET KARAOKE

Karaoke (Cheers to You SLC) Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge)

SATURDAY 7/22 LIVE MUSIC

Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge) Karaoke w/ B-RAD (Club 90)

SUNDAY 7/23 LIVE MUSIC

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

Dueling Pianos (The Spur Bar and Grill) DJ Curtis Strange (Willie’s Lounge) Open Blues Jam (The Green Pig) Red Cup Event w/ DJ Juggy (Downstairs)

KARAOKE

Karaoke (Tavernacle) Karaoke w/ DJ Benji (A Bar Named Sue) Karaoke Church w/ DJ Ducky (Club Jam)

MONDAY 7/24 LIVE MUSIC

FRI JULY 21 AMANDA PEREZ

SATURDAYS

Amanda Johnson (The Spur) Mad Alchemy + Jesus Sons + Dream Phases + Creature Choir + Family of Light (Urban Lounge) Undergang + Necrot + Disannulleth + Deathblow (Club X)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE Monday Night Open Jazz Session w/ David Halliday & the JVQ (Gracie’s) Open Blues Jam (The Green Pig) Open Blues Jam hosted by Robby’s Blues Explosion (Hog Wallow Pub) Open Mic (The Cabin)

KARAOKE

Karaoke (Poplar Street Pub) Karaoke Bingo (Tavernacle) Karaoke with DJ Benji (A Bar Named Sue)

TUESDAY 7/25 LIVE MUSIC

Contra + Silent on Fifth Street + Somewhere to Call Home + As the Sky Darkens + Far From + Rue the Day (The Loading Dock) Emily Brown + Peach Dream + The Lavender Hunnies (Kilby Court) Glass Animals + New Shack (The Complex) Hooten Hallers (Garage on Beck) In the Valley Below + Flagship (Urban Lounge) Patrick Ryan (The Spur) Portugal. The Man (Red Butte Garden) Today Is the Day + Kayo Dot + Villain + Burn Your World (Club X) 3Teeth + Contaminated Intelligence + Natas Lived (Metro Music Hall)

SUN JULY 23 TERROR UNIVERSAL

COMING SOON JULY 28 EMISSARY ECHO AUG 1 PRÖWESS AUG 2 AMERICAN GRIM AUG 4 METAL GODS AUG 20 DIAMOND HEAD

MORE UPCOMING SHOWS

@ LIQUIDJOES.NET 801-467-JOES

1249 E 3300 S, SLC

JULY 20, 2017 | 49

Aloe Blacc (Deer Valley Snow Park Amphitheater) Après Ski (The Cabin) Echo Beds + Donner Partyhouse + Sympathy Pain + TracerPop DJ Set (Diabolical)

WITH RUMBA LIBRE

| CITY WEEKLY |

KARAOKE

TROPICANA NIGHT

Boom Town feat. DJ Bl3nd (In the Venue) Dueling Pianos feat. Troy & Drew (Tavernacle) DJ Brisk & Juggy (Bourbon House) DJ Latu (The Green Pig) DJ Sneeky Long (Twist)

THUR JULY 20 & 27

| MUSIC | CINEMA | DINING | A&E | NEWS |

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

SALT LAKE’S FAVORITE LIVE MUSIC PARTY BAR

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Après Ski (The Cabin) The Chad Ellis Band (The Outlaw Saloon) Chris Masterson + DJ Stario (Downstairs) Chris Orrock + The Lazlos (Gracie’s) City of Salt (Pioneer Park) Club Nouveau + Karyn White + Surface (Infinity Event Center) see p. 44 Scott Rogers + Eilen Jewell (Snowbird Plaza Deck) Drew Holcomb and the Neighbors + VanLadyLove (Canyons Village Stage) Get Scared + Famous Last Words + World War Me + I’m Alive (The Loading Dock) Ginger and the Gents (Piper Down Pub) Le Voir + Tarot Death Card (The Ice Haüs) Michelle Moonshine Trio (Hog Wallow Pub) Jordan Matthew Young Band (The Spur) Joy Spring Band (Sugar House Coffee) Live Bands (Johnny’s on Second) Live Local Music (A Bar Named Sue) Live Music on the Plaza Deck (Snowbird) Live Trio (The Red Door) Rooney + Run River North (Urban Lounge) Six60 (Kilby Court) Social Distortion + Jade Jackson (The Depot) see p. 44 Spazmatics (Liquid Joe’s) UB40 + Legend Ali + Astro & Mickey (The Complex) see p. 46 Visitors + Sunsleeper + Bird Watcher (Urban Lounge)

Elf Power + Muzzle Tung (Kilby Court) see p. 48 Grapegrass (Gracie’s) Live Bluegrass (Club 90) Live Music on the Plaza Deck (Snowbird) Patrick Ryan (The Spur) Howard Jones + The English Beat + Men Without Hats (Red Butte Garden) Vain Machine + Rare Fracture + Minx + Starbass (Club X)

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

| NEWS | A&E | DINING | CINEMA | MUSIC |

| CITY WEEKLY |

50 | JULY 20, 2017

EVERY NIGHT

BAR FLY

RANDY HARWARD

Hookah at Scallywags

Standing outside the South Salt Lake bar Scallywags, where I’ve come to try their hookah, the establishment’s Jolly Roger sign seems to warn me away. I’m reminded of the time 20 years ago that I smoked a cigarette, drunkenly thinking it’d impress an attractive co-worker possessed of the habit. We were only a few blocks from here, actually, and the cig caused me to puke in her car. (Score!) Inexplicably undaunted, I ascend steep steps into the main bar. It’s Monday-slow, but I know from previous visits that it gets much busier than this. After the ceremonial presentation of I.D., I announce my intentions and the bartender cuts open bags of colorful, goopy, herbal tobacco alternatives so I can sniff their fruity bouquets. “Let’s go with cherry,” I say, “since it’s my first time.” She retreats into a dark corner and plops a blob into the bowl of a towering apparatus resembling the fearsome Hindu goddess Kali. Setting the muck ablaze, she tosses me a small package, then takes the hose into her mouth for a lengthy, dispassionate drag. “Safety first, eh?” She nods, presenting the pipe and instructing me to draw slowly, “like you’re drinking a milkshake through a straw.” I rip open the packet, pop on the prophylactic, inhale and await the coming quease. Surprisingly, the smoke is delicious and smooth.

Suddenly, I’m mellow and lightheaded. A guy steps out of the shadows, headed for one of the pool tables. I’d like to play—it’s always free, after all—but I’m too comfortable in my high-back barstool. So I keep on puffin’. Soon, I don’t wanna leave at all. I could get used to this. But I gotta go. Outside on the sidewalk, I decide I’ll have to do this again sometime. Does that mean I’m addicted? The Jolly Roger grins down at me, as if to say, “I tried to warn you.” (Randy Harward) Scallywags, 3040 S. State, 801-604-0869, every night, $5 per bowl (Sunday-Thursday), $10 per bowl (Friday-Saturday)

YOUR BEACON ON 25TH STREET

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

Cabin Fever & Miss DJ Lux (The Cabin) Open Jazz Jam (Bourbon House) Open Mic (The Wall at BYU)

come celbrate Pioneer Day

the Ogden Way

join us for live music this week Thu July 20 7 PM Second-Hand Lovers at Ogden Unplugged

Fri July 21 9:00 PM Mighty Mystic

Sat July 22 9:00 PM Brooke Mackintosh Band

Wed July 26 7 PM Vinyl Night at Lighthouse Lounge

KARAOKE

Karaoke (Tavernacle) Karaoke w/ DJ Thom (A Bar Named Sue) Karaoke That Doesn’t Suck (Twist) Karaoke w/ Zim Zam Ent. (Club 90)

WEDNESDAY 7/26 LIVE MUSIC

The Cave Singers + Quiet Oaks (Urban Lounge) Live Jazz (Club 90) March Fourth! + The Coffis Brothers & The Mountain Men (O.P. Rockwell) Michelle Moonshine (The Spur) Pig Eon (Twist) Rose’s Pawn Shop (Garage on Beck)

OT! B IG S H IN Y R O B News from the geeks. what’s new in comics, games, movies and beyond.

Thu July 27 7 PM Mel Soul at Ogden Unplugged

Bloody Mary Bar, Brunch & Brooke Macintosh every Sunday 10am-3pm Open Everyday 11am till 1am Great Eats, Great Drinks, Great Music.

130 25th Street Ogden • lighthouseogden.com

exclusively on cityweekly.net

Sir Sly + SHAED (Kilby Court) Tatanka + Newborn Slaves + Smiling Souls (Club Elevate) Wage War + Gideon + Varials + Divisions (The Loading Dock)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE DJ Birdman (Twist) Dueling Pianos (Tavernacle) Open Mic (Velour)

Temple (Gothic and Industrial) w/ DJ Mistress Nancy (Area 51)

KARAOKE

Areaoke w/ KJ Ruby (Area 51) Karaoke w/ B-RAD (Club 90) Karaoke (The Wall at BYU) Karaoke w/ Spotlight Entertainment (Johnny’s on Second) Superstar Karaoke w/ DJ Ducky (Club Jam)

SHOTS OF SUMMER

BY JOSH SCHEUERMAN @scheuerman7

Reggae Rise Upr Gallivan Cente / facebook.com p U ReggaeRise

Dirty Heads

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Vanessa Holly, Shane Cahoon

EEK W C L @S

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© 2017

ABS

BY DAVID LEVINSON WILK

ACROSS

1. Silverstein who wrote “The Giving Tree” 2. Symbol gotten by typing Ctrl+Alt+E, in Microsoft Word

44. Put away (for) 47. “If you say so” 48. Rabid fan 49. Swanson on “Parks and Recreation” 54. Library no-no 56. Princess captured by Jabba the Hutt 57. Hay storage locale 58. Name first encountered in Genesis 2 59. Wallop 60. Fifth Avenue retailer 61. White ____ sheet 62. Bespectacled Disney dwarf 63. Healthy

Last week’s answers

No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

DOWN

3. Award coveted on “Mad Men” 4. Fails utterly 5. “Shh! It’s a secret!”

6. “This doesn’t look good” 7. Really take off, in a way 8. Deli meat 9. Commoner 10. Compact material 11. ENE’s opposite 12. Spanish “that” 13. New Year’s ____ 21. Show 22. Many a first grader’s age 26. One navigating the web?

27. Ankle-high work shoe 28. Rising stars 29. Containing state-of-the-art gadgetry 30. “Hey!,” from someone who’s hiding 31. Rodeo locale 33. Mauna ____ 34. Prefix with life or size 36. Popular video game for wannabe athletes 40. Chair umpire’s call 41. What the “Gras” of Mardi Gras means 42. In pairs

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9.

1. Splinter group 5. Shoveled 8. Shot out, as lava 14. Hip-shaking dance 15. “Well, look at that!”

16. Actress Milano of “Charmed” 17. “Dancing With the Stars” co-host Andrews 18. Election mo.

19. Wiggle room 20. “Check out that dude’s washboard stomach!” (or, with 55-Across, a decidedly more disappointed comment) 23. Plop down 24. Pacific ____ 25. Bank founded in 1865 to finance trade between Europe and Asia 29. Comic strip sound from a drunkard 32. “Don’t worry ... you’re talking to an expert” (or, with 46-Across, a decidedly more worrisome comment) 35. “____ pronounce you man and wife” 37. Twitter titter 38. Colloquialism 39. Opening of a 1975 Ali/Frazier sports event?

41. Old Army base on the Santa Fe Trail, briefly 43. Spooky 44. Tool in a magician’s act 45. Have on 46. See 32-Across 50. Some temp takers 51. Beatles song, album or movie 52. Statehouse resident, informally 53. “____ appétit!”

55. See 20-Across 61. How movies are presented on TCM but not AMC 64. One of three in an ellipsis 65. Notion 66. “You’re right about that” 67. Cesar Chavez’s org.

68. Bacteriologist Jonas 69. Impersonates 70. School grp.

71. Lifesavers, briefly

SUDOKU

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CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” So said psychologist Carl Jung.

What the hell did that meddling, self-important know-it-all mean by that? Oops. Sorry to sound annoyed. My cranky reaction might mean I’m defensive about the possibility that I’m sometimes a bit preachy myself. Maybe I don’t like an authority figure wagging his finger in my face because I’m suspicious of my own tendency to do that. Hmmm. Should I therefore refrain from giving you the advice I’d planned to? I guess not. Listen carefully, Capricorn: Monitor the people and situations that LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) Spain’s most revered mystic poet was St. John of the Cross, who irritate you. They’ll serve as mirrors. They’ll show you unripe lived from 1542-1591. He went through a hard time at age 35, aspects of yourself that might need adjustment or healing. when he was kidnapped by a rival religious sect and imprisoned in a cramped cell. Now and then, he was provided with scraps of bread AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) and dried fish, but he almost starved to death. After 10 months, A source of tough and tender inspiration seems to be losing he managed to escape and make his way to a convent that gave him some of its signature potency. It has served you well. It has given sanctuary. For his first meal, the nuns served him warm pears with you many gifts—some difficult and some full of grace. But now cinnamon. I reckon that you’ll soon be celebrating your own ver- I think you will benefit from transforming your relationship sion of a jailbreak, Leo. It’ll be less drastic and more metaphorical with its influence. As you might imagine, this pivotal moment than St. John’s, but still a notable accomplishment. To celebrate, will be best navigated with a clean, fresh, open attitude. That’s why you’ll be wise to thoroughly wash your own brain—not I invite you to enjoy a ritual meal of warm pears with cinnamon. begrudgingly, but with gleeful determination. For even better results, wash your heart, too.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) “I’m very attracted to things that I can’t define,” Belgian fashion designer Raf Simons says. I’d love for you to adopt that atti- PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) tude, Virgo. You’re entering the Season of Generous Mystery. It A “power animal” is a creature selected as a symbolic ally by a will be a time when you can generate good fortune for yourself person who hopes to imitate or resonate with its strengths. The by being eager to get your expectations overturned and your salmon or hare might be a good choice if you’re seeking to stimumind blown. Transformative opportunities will coalesce as you late your fertility, for example. If you aspire to cultivate elegant simmer in the influence of enigmas and anomalies. Meditate on wildness, you might choose an eagle or horse. For your use in the the advice of the poet Rainer Maria Rilke: “I want to beg you to coming months, I propose a variation on this theme: the “power be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and to try to fruit.” From now until at least May 2018, your power fruit should be the ripe strawberry. Why? Because this will be a time when love the questions themselves.” you’ll be naturally sweet, not artificially so; when you will be juicy, but not dripping all over everything; when you will be compact LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) I’ve compiled a list of four mantras to strengthen you. They’re and concentrated, not bloated and bursting at the seams; and designed to put you in the proper alignment to take maximum when you should be plucked by hand, never mechanically. advantage of current cosmic rhythms. For the next three weeks, say them periodically throughout the day. 1. “I want to give the ARIES (March 21-April 19) gifts I like to give rather than the gifts I’m supposed to give.” The Greek word philokalia is translated as the “love of the 2. “If I can’t do things with excellence and integrity, I won’t do beautiful, the exalted, the excellent.” I propose that we make it them at all.” 3. “I intend to run on the fuel of my own deepest your keyword for the next three weeks—the theme you keep at zeal, not on the fuel of someone else’s passions.” 4. “My joy the forefront of your awareness everywhere you go. But think a comes as much from doing my beautiful best as from pleasing while before you say yes to my invitation. To commit yourself to being so relentlessly in quest of the sublime would be a demandother people.” ing job. Are you truly prepared to adjust to the poignant sweetness that might stream into your life as a result?

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) The world will never fully know or appreciate the nature of your heroic journey. Even the people who love you the most will only TAURUS (April 20-May 20) ever understand a portion of your epic quest to become your It’s a favorable time to strengthen your fundamentals and stabibest self. That’s why it’s important for you to be generous in lize your foundation. I invite you to devote your finest intelligence giving yourself credit for all you have accomplished up until now and grittiest determination to this project. How? Draw deeply and will accomplish in the future. Take time to marvel at the from your roots. Tap into the mother lode of inspiration that majesty and miracle of the life you have created for yourself. never fails you. Nurture the web of life that nurtures you. The Celebrate the struggles you’ve weathered and the liberations cosmos will offer you lots of help and inspiration whenever you you’ve initiated. Shout “Glory hallelujah!” as you acknowledge attend to these practical and sacred matters. Best-case scenario: your persistence and resourcefulness. The coming weeks will be You will bolster your personal power for many months to come. an especially favorable time to do this tricky but fun work.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20) Two talking porcupines are enjoying an erotic tryst in a cactus SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) I suspect you might have drug-like effects on people in the garden. It’s a prickly experience, but that’s how they like it. “I coming weeks. Which drugs? At various times, your impact always get horny when things get thorny,” one says. Meanwhile, could resemble cognac, magic mushrooms and Ecstasy—or in the rose garden next door, two unicorns wearing crowns of sometimes all three simultaneously. What will you do with thorns snuggle and nuzzle as they receive acupuncture from a all that power to kill pain and alter moods and expand minds? swarm of helpful hornets. One of the unicorns murmurs, “This Here’s one possibility: Get people excited about what you’re is the sharpest pleasure I’ve ever known.” Now here’s the moral excited about, and call on them to help you bring your dreams of these far-out fables, Gemini: Are you ready to gamble on a to a higher stage of development. Here’s another: Round up cagey and exuberant ramble through the brambles? Are you the support you need to transform any status quo that’s boring curious about the healing that might become available if you explore the edgy frontiers of gusto? or unproductive.

CANCER (June 21-July 22) I predict that four weeks from now you will be enjoying a modest but hearty feeling of accomplishment—on one condition: You must not get diverted by the temptation to achieve trivial successes. In other words, I hope you focus on one or two big projects, not lots of small ones. What do I mean by “big projects”?

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FANTASTIC MASSAGE

I love history. I don’t know why—I just do.

I especially love the back stories of places, homes and buildings. In my college years, I often spent Sundays wandering a virtually dead downtown to photograph old buildings. I’d explore the Avenues and stop in front of 100-year-old homes, then go back to the school library and read about architectural styles. My father graduated as an architect and even studied under Frank Lloyd Wright for a bit, but ended up moving us to Arizona where he became a cattle rancher and gave up his blueprints in favor of a bullwhip.

I would call him over the years and talk about cool houses and buildings I had seen or was marketing. He loved it when I dug deeper and found records about who had lived in a home or who had built it. Dad’s passed, but I still love to talk about the history of old homes with my clients.

I was excited to hear recently that part of Lagoon amusement park was restored.

Originally built on the shore of the Great Salt Lake in 1886, the resort was closed and parts moved to Farmington by local railroad owner (and, later, Utah governor) Simon Bamberger. On the banks of a 9-acre pond, which inspired the new name, he built the amusement park which opened in 1896. The park had bowling, dining, music and eventually a million-gallon pool—the first filtered pool west of the Mississippi. Its debut thrill ride was “Shoot-the-Chutes,” and the Victorian-era carousel—built in 1893 and installed in 1906—is still there today. After closing during World War II, it was purchased by the Freed family and Ranch Kimball, who turned the place into what it is today.

Utahns love the roller coasters—and they especially love Terroride, the 50-year-old spooky attraction that was recently restored. This classic ride is categorized as a “dark house,” similar to the Haunted House at Knoebels, Spook-a-Rama at Coney Island and Curse of DarKastle at Busch Gardens.

The famous amusement-park ride designer Bill Tracy also was the creative force behind Dracula’s Castle. Only eight of his rides are left in the country, and two are at Lagoon. Ours is now fixed up with new machinery and a fresh story line. But don’t worry—the original historic mural and creatures remain intact and are ready to delight young and old thrill-seekers with a sinister new character named “Louis von Black.” I’ll forgo the heat and check out Louis during the park’s annual Frightmares season in the fall. Thanks, Lagoon, for saving a bit of odd history for us. n Content is prepared expressly for Community and is not endorsed by City Weekly staff.

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WEIRD

Oh, Canada Canadian company Bad Axe Throwing announced in June it is bringing its unusual entertainment concept to Denver. It’s “like darts, but on steroids,” founder Mario Zelaya says. Customers provide their own food and beer and learn how to throw axes at targets.

“We’ll be bringing along the competitive league side as well.

That means that folks in Denver can sign up … and compete at a global level,” Zelaya said.

Smooth Reactions Did you say french fries or fresh fries? Eiram Chanel Amir Dixson, 25, made a point of ordering fresh french fries at a Coon Rapids, Minn., Wendy’s drive-thru in May. When the exchange between the dissatisfied Dixson and a Wendy’s worker escalated, the employee threw a soda at Dixson, and Dixson fired back by spraying Mace through the drive-thru window. Police charged Dixson with one count of using tear gas to immobilize. n Rachel Borch, 21, of Hope, Maine, was out for a run in June when a raccoon attacked her. Thinking quickly, Borch grabbed the animal and, despite being bitten, ran to a puddle on the trail and held its head underwater until it drowned. Bonus: Borch’s father retrieved the dead raccoon and delivered it for rabies testing in a Taste of the Wild dog-food bag.

Insult to Injury It was dark in the wee hours of June 30 in Jacksonville, Fla., and Cedric Jelks, 38, probably never saw the loaded gun on the driver’s seat of his car as he got in, but he certainly felt it after the gun went off, wounding his manhood. When police investigating the report of a gunshot wound arrived at the hospital Jelks was taken to, they added possible firearms charges to his pain after discovering he had a prior conviction for cocaine possession.

n In a fit of law abidance, a resident of Yorkshire, England, called that country’s emergency phone number to report that Queen Elizabeth II was not wearing her seatbelt as she departed the Palace of Westminster on June 21 after delivering her traditional speech at the State Opening of Parliament. Police warned that the 999 system is meant to be used only for emergencies.

The Entrepreneurial Spirit Ventura County, Calif., sheriff’s officers charged three produce workers with grand theft fruit after they were caught making unauthorized cash sales of avocados from a ripening facility.

n Farther south, in Nantes, France, bus drivers adopted the same skirt-wearing strategy to oppose the bus company’s strict no-shorts policy. Temperatures in the region have reached scorching highs this year, and female drivers are allowed to wear skirts. The company responded by allowing “shorts that correspond to the uniform’s color scheme of black and beige.”

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News That Sounds Like a Joke The Innovation Center for U.S. Dairy reported in June that as many as 16.4 million Americans believe that chocolate milk comes from brown cows. In fact, the center’s most frequently asked question on its website is, “Does chocolate milk come from brown cows?” (The answer is no.) Almost half of respondents to the center’s survey weren’t sure where chocolate milk comes from at all.

Crime Report A Spencer’s store at Park Plaza Mall in Little Rock, Ark., took on a Jerry Springer vibe on June 21 when a disgruntled customer tried to steal a stripper pole. A Spencer’s employee chased the woman into the mall and in the ensuing struggle was bitten by the customer, who then relinquished the stripper pole and ran away.

At press time, the pole-pilferer was still at large.

Too Much Time on Their Hands An industrious group of Russian mechanics created a huge fidget spinner by welding parts of three cars together in the shape of the ubiquitous toy. The Garage 54 team, based in Novosibirsk, tried spinning the creation with one person in each car, but eventually had better luck with just one driver.

Recurring Themes Two unidentified thieves managed to elude capture even after one of them nearly lost his pants during a Wellington, Fla., car break-in. The man, caught on a security camera June 18 while running back to a getaway car, tripped over his pants and landed facedown, clearly yelling, “My pants fell!” He managed to make it to the vehicle, and the thieves have yet to been apprehended.

Divine Revelations Honduran housewife Iris Suyapa Cáceres Castellanos “felt something coming into my body from the soles of my feet” after finding a flour tortilla with a likeness of Jesus Christ.

Since the discovery on June 14, Castellanos’ home in Danli has been flooded with pilgrims who want a look at the holy tortilla, including Olga Marina, 71, who said: “You look at the little eyes, the little mustache and his hair. … Can you imagine? It’s a miracle.” Castellanos hopes to preserve the savior-y tortilla for the rest of her life.

Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time A brigade from the Sawang Boribun Fire Rescue Center in Pattaya, Thailand, was called to a local hospital on June 24 when doctors needed help extricating a patient from two metal rings stuck on his penis. The patient, 33, who gave his name as Wirat, first said he didn’t know how the rings had gotten there, but later admitted that he had been “experimenting” with them. When doctors couldn’t dislodge the sex toys, they turned to firefighters, who worked for 30 minutes using pliers and cutting tools to remove them.

Send your weird news items to weirdnewstips@amuniversal.com

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Bright Ideas Smoke bombs aren’t just for celebrating our nation’s birth! Mike Tingley of Grand Blanc Township, Mich., burned his garage to the ground on July 3 when he used smoke bombs to try to rid the structure of a bees’ nest. When firefighters from three townships arrived, fireworks stored in the garage were shooting into the sky. “We really weren’t going to celebrate the Fourth of July so much,” Tingley said. His home, which was not attached to the garage, was not damaged.

Fashion Emergency To beat June’s record heat, male students at Isca Academy in Exeter, England, protested the school’s no-shorts rule by wearing the same uniform skirts the girls wear. One boy said the skirts were “quite refreshing.” Another enjoyed the “nice breeze.”

| COMMUNITY |

Finer Points of the Law A restaurant owner near Florence, Italy, was ordered to pay 2,000 euros in fines in June after judges in Italy’s highest court declared it illegal to keep lobsters on ice in restaurants because it causes them undue suffering. “The suffering caused by detaining the animals while they wait to be cooked cannot be justified,” the judges ruled.

PIONEERS

Joseph Valenzuela, 38, Carlos Chavez, 28, and Rahim Leblanc, 30, liquidated up to $300,000 worth of off-the-books avocados.

“It’s a big product here in California,” Sgt. John Franchi said. “Everybody loves avocados.”

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

Why Not? A driver in Zhenjiang, China, took drive-thru service to the next level on June 10 when he carefully pulled his tiny automobile through the front doors of a convenience store, requested a package of potato chips and a bottle of yogurt, paid for his purchase and reversed through the doors with the cashier’s guidance. Surveillance video shows the cashier waving and saluting as the car pulls away. He posited that the driver might have been avoiding getting out of his car in the rain.

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Thank you for being a Heavenly Being And pulling together. ToNight I will leave Leaving time inbetween You remind me Of Guy Fawkes except youU are a girl, nay a woman, nay a human being that I love.

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