City Weekly October 26, 2017 by Copperfield Publishing

31 SPOTS IN AND AROUND SLC TO GET YOUR SPOOK ON BY RANDY HARWARD

SALT LAKE

CITY WEEKLY

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26 OCT. 2017 VOL. 34 N0. 22

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CWCONTENTS COVER STORY WASATCH GRUNT

31 spots in and around SLC that’ll make you scream. Cover illustration by Derek Carlisle

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4 LETTERS 6 OPINION 8 NEWS 20 A&E 25 DINE 30 CINEMA 32 TRUE TV 33 MUSIC 45 COMMUNITY

RANDY HARWARD

Cover story, p. 15 Why was Harward the perfect choice to write this story? That pic was taken in August. “The one where my wife made the costume of my dreams,” he says when asked about his most memorable Halloween. “A black Teletubby with a pentagram antenna. I was a Helletubby—get it?”

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Operation Rio Grande reaches two-month mark. facebook.com/slcweekly

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Marvel at the “pointless awfulness” of The Snowman.

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C I T Y W E E K LY. N E T

OCTOBER 12, 2017 | VOL. 34

N0. 20

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COMMENTS@CITYWEEKLY.NET @SLCWEEKLY

Curbing Panhandling New legislation aims to make panhandling safer. But is it working? By Dylan Woolf Harris

Cover story, Oct. 12, “Curbing Panhandling”

Maybe when the city decides that affordable housing should be a priority, instead of letting developers run rampant with all the “luxury” apartments being built all over—which leads to a higher rent market in the city and will result in more homelessness—then maybe I will stop giving to panhandlers directly. Also, the city cops need better training with people with mental illnesses, and think it’s OK to shoot them in the back (killing a black man results in an acquittal for the police, manhandle a white woman and you lose your job).

Problem is, once your child is 18, it’s almost impossible to get them help. So I know what it’s like to have a homeless child. She is one the people holding signs by the freeways. As a parent, it is a nightmare. It is extremely dangerous to stand on those exits and medians. And they should not be allowed to. As far as people saying, “Get a job,” it’s not always that simple. And until you walk in someone’s shoes, you really shouldn’t judge them. A lot of them do have a mental illness or drug addiction or other medical issues—not to mention no phone or addresses. There are numerous reasons, and there are also a lot that do want to work. My daughter would love to and she has tried, but her issues are so extreme, it doesn’t last. I could go on and on. Bottom line is, please, next time you see a homeless person, don’t judge them; they are someone’s son, daughter, mother, father. You don’t know their story—and everyone has one.

Via Facebook

If you donate directly to them, you are perpetuating the problem. You might as well drive them straight to the liquor store. Give to charities that have a proven track record of helping.

The day someone legislated that I can’t feed, clothe or give anything to anyone I want to, out of the kindness of my heart— no matter how bad of an idea someone else thinks it is and others applaud how great of an idea it is—is the day we are all lost as a free country. I will dissent.

I’ve seen homeless people pull out bigger wads of cash than I’ve ever had working full-time. Most people choose that life— not all, but most.

JOSHUA CLEARKUT Via Facebook

JUSTIN BOGENSCHUTZ

SCOTT BROWN Via Facebook

The homeless problem breaks my heart. I have a 24-year-old, beautiful daughter that comes from a great family, but unfortunately suffers from some mental issues and started to self-medicate and fell into the wrong crowd at an early age. She ran away at age 17 and has been on the streets of SLC since.

CHRIS JOHNSON

KIMBERLY LYNN CHERRINE-BELL

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that standeth in need; and ye will not suffer that the beggar putteth up his petition to you in vain, and turn him out to perish. Perhaps thou shalt say: The man has brought upon himself his misery; therefore I will stay my hand, and will not give unto him of my food, nor impart unto him of my substance that he may not suffer, for his punishments are just— But I say unto you, O man, whosoever doeth this the same hath great cause to repent; and except he repenteth of that which he hath done he perisheth forever, and hath no interest in the kingdom of God. For behold, are we not all beggars? Do we not all depend upon the same Being, even God, for all the substance which we have, for both food and raiment, and for gold, and for silver, and for all the riches which we have of every kind?” —The Book of Mormon, Mosiah 4:16-19

MICHAEL ANTHONY SAKELL Via Facebook

The same bums occupy their own corner, day in and day out, and if you are lucky, you see them get dropped off or swapping signs among themselves. I understand some people need help and I hope they get it, but every entrance to a shopping market or corner on a street just does not need someone looking for a handout.

JOSHUA DANIEL RATHBUN Via Facebook

Maybe we should institute panhandling zones. Then we can pay for a bureaucracy to license and regulate the area.

DANIEL RICHARDS Via Facebook

Since most seem to be vets, how about Trump and the federal government take care of its responsibilities?

JOSHUA DAVID ZIMMER Via Facebook

Irony is lawmakers and legislators who constantly take money for favors, passing laws against panhandling.

CORBAN ANDERSON Via Facebook

There are panhandlers every 2 feet these days, asking for my spare change. I don’t have anything to give them, yet so many keep asking.

RICHARD HUMBERG Via Facebook

I just don’t like to see them do it with pets for pity points. They chose to have the dog; the dog didn’t choose them.

Via Facebook

CURTIS MACE DAVIES

Are we not all beggars? No, some of us are hypocrites. “And also, ye yourselves will succor those that stand in need of your succor; ye will administer of your substance unto him

Sad to say, but for some, this is their job. And they make pretty good wages. I’ve watched groups gather and divide up the day’s take. Some groups are very orga-

Via Facebook

nized. Not all of course, but I don’t just hand out money. If they need food, I will offer groceries. Usually get turned down.

BONNIE SCARBRO Via Facebook

Opinion, Oct. 12, “Grand Gesture”

I suggest that a really good gesture would be to turn over Bears Ears to the tribes, thus expanding their reservations.

@GEOFFGRAVETT Via Facebook

True TV, Oct. 12, “Love, American Style”

I’ll take Chelsea Handler’s weekly Netflix show over anything Sarah Silverman is capable of doing.

RICHARD WARNICK Via cityweekly.net

Mormons and Donald Trump

I’ve been pondering why so many good and decent Mormons voted for Donald Trump and why so many seem to continue to support him, including our U.S. senators and representatives. I’ve come up with a theory. Donald Trump and Joseph Smith are much alike: Both males have super egos and both disrespect women. Neither man considered marriages sacred. Both either plagiarized or hired a ghostwriter to write their bestseller (The Book of Mormon and The Art of the Deal). Both sought ultimate power and control. Joseph talked of becoming U.S. president or even a king. And Trump is the president who acts as if he were king. Neither man hesitated to get rid of anyone in their power structures. One says, “You’re fired!” The other just excommunicated anyone he disagreed with. Neither man had any trouble lying. ... Both men worked with their fathers— and all four men were engaged in illegal activities. The Smiths conned farmers by claiming that for a fee, the father-son duo would find buried treasure; Donald and his dad pulled scams in the New York real estate market. Both Joseph and Donald decried a free press. Joseph burned down a newspaper that disagreed with his teaching. Donald threatens reporters and sues publications. Both had large buildings erected to remind followers of their power. Trump decorates his structures with his name. Smith’s buildings are topped with golden statues of a mythical figure Smith claimed he’d seen. Even today, with our democracy in danger and our foreign relations in shatters, many people still believe in Trump. Today, when most scholars, scientists and historians believe that The Book of Mormon is the work of a young man with a super imagination or delusional, people still believe. Amazing!

TED OTTINGER, Taylorsville

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Editor ENRIQUE LIMÓN Arts &Entertainment Editor SCOTT RENSHAW Music Editor RANDY HARWARD Staff Writer DYLAN WOOLF HARRIS Copy Editor ANDREA HARVEY Proofers SARAH ARNOFF, LANCE GUDMUNDSEN Editorial Interns BENJAMIN BENALLY, RACHELLE FERNANDEZ Contributors CECIL ADAMS, KATHARINE BIELE, ROB BREZSNY, BABS DE LAY, BILL FROST, MARYANN JOHANSON, JOHN RASMUSON, MIKE RIEDEL, TED SCHEFFLER, ALEX SPRINGER, BRIAN STAKER, LEE ZIMMERMAN

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OPINION

Ig Nobel Prizes

If you’re going to San Francisco Be sure to wear some flowers in your hair. —Scott McKenzie A crown of daisies might have been a stylish choice for hippies gathering in San Francisco in 1967 for the “summer of love,” but flowers weren’t included in the what-towear guidance for the Ig Nobel awards ceremony in Cambridge, Mass., last month—unless you consider flowers an “improbable accoutrement.” In order to thrill the audience with a “panoply of colors, styles and improbable accoutrements,” the Ig Nobel sponsors suggested that attendees “unearth your old wedding gown, uniform, suit of armor, lab coat or long johns.” As a result, “1,200 splendidly eccentric spectators” filled Harvard University’s Sanders Theater on Sept. 14 to watch this year’s 10 winners receive prizes “from genuinely bemused genuine Nobel laureates.” So goes the Ig Nobels. Now 27 years old, they are sourced in the Harvard University campus and the science-humor magazine, Annals of Improbable Research (AIR). The annual award ceremony evokes the irreverent theatrics of such other Harvard satirists as the Lampoon and Hasty Pudding Club. That the Ig Nobels are presented by bona fide Nobel laureates gives the event a highbrow cachet it might otherwise be denied. The playful send-up of scientific research evokes Sen. William Proxmire’s Golden Fleece Awards of the 1980s that called attention to such wasteful government spending as the National Science Foundation’s $84,000 study to determine why people fall in love. The timing of the annual Ig Nobels makes comparison with the Swedish Nobels inevitable. You might even argue that the two are complementary. “The Ig Nobel awards are arguably the highlight of the scientific calendar,” Helen

BY JOHN RASMUSON Pilcher wrote in Nature. “The prizes, which are the wayward son of the more righteous Nobels, are supposed to reward research that makes people laugh, then think.” There is nothing ignoble about the Ig Nobels. Wrote AIR on its website: “Good achievements can also be odd, funny, and even absurd; so can bad achievements. A lot of good science gets attacked because of its absurdity. A lot of bad science gets revered despite its absurdity.” It goes without saying that the prestigious Nobels valorize good science, but I confess that most of them are too arcane for me. I do look forward to the peace prize and literature prize, however. I was disappointed that no Ig Nobel was awarded for literature this year. Last year was so exciting: Bob Dylan got the Nobel, and Fredrik Sjoberg took home the Ig Nobel for his memoir about “the pleasures of collecting flies that are dead and flies that are not yet dead.” This year’s Ig Nobel Peace Prize was awarded to a team of six scientists for “demonstrating that regular playing of the didgeridoo, an Australian wind instrument, is an effective treatment for sleep apnea and snoring.” It might have been an off year for literature, but it was a banner year for fluid dynamics. The Physics Prize was awarded to a French scientist who took on the oft-asked question, “Can a cat be both a solid and a liquid?” It can! The answer is determined by applying the principles of fluid dynamics and rheology, the study of the flow of matter. A cat curling up in a basket behaves like a fluid, molding itself to the space, but a cat chasing a butterfly exhibits the qualities of a solid. A separate Fluid Dynamics Ig Nobel went to a Korean, Jiwon Han, “for studying the dynamics of liquid-sloshing to learn what happens when a person walks backward while carrying a cup of coffee.” An Australian and an American shared this year’s Ig Nobel in Economics. They studied the effect of a live crocodile on a person’s engagement with gambling. The experience of holding a 3-foot croc affected how gamblers placed

their bets. For those with “negative affective states,” the bets were higher. “Why Do Old Men Have Big Ears?” Answering that question earned James Heathcote, a British doctor, the Ig Nobel prize in Anatomy. Because the body’s soft-tissue parts yield to gravity over time, parts tend to sag. Ear lobes can sag as much as a half inch. The Biology Prize recognized the discovery of sexrole reversal in a cave-dwelling insect called a barklice. The flea-sized female has an elaborate penis-like structure called a gynosome that penetrates the male’s genital chamber during copulation lasting up to 70 hours. This year’s Nutrition Prize honored the research on vampire bats in Brazilian forests that established the fact that they drink human blood. Owing to a scarcity of wild birds, the bats regularly consume the blood of chickens and humans. The Medicine Prize was awarded to French scientists who used advanced brain-scanning technology to measure the extent to which some people are disgusted by cheese, and the 2017 Cognition Prize recognized research demonstrating that many identical twins cannot tell themselves apart visually. Lest you have reached this point only to question the practicality of the scientific research sharing the Ig Nobel limelight, this year’s Obstetrics Prize will reassure you. Three Spanish scientists took home the award for a study called “Fetal Facial Expression in Response to Intravaginal Music Emission.” They proved that a fetus responds more to music played intravaginally than to music from an external source. They subsequently patented a “Fetal Acoustic Stimulation Device,” marketed as “Babypod.” So when choosing a gift for a pregnant woman, skip the flowers and give a Babypod. The pink, digital-music player has earbuds for her ears and a speaker for her vagina. It will make her laugh—then think. CW Send feedback to comments@cityweekly.net

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HITS&MISSES BY KATHARINE BIELE

FIVE SPOT

RANDOM QUESTIONS, SURPRISING ANSWERS

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We know how Utahns vote: They don’t, pretty much. That was the conclusion of a recent Utah Foundation report, which found, not surprisingly, that Utah ranked 39th in the nation last year for voter participation. Really surprising, however, was how voters seem to just let things ride. “Uncompetitive races are the norm. In 2016, 71 percent of Utah’s state general election races were won by a margin of greater than 30 percent.” But there are efforts afoot to change that—maybe. Two initiatives are making the rounds—one on redistricting; the other to get rid of the caucus system. But most interesting— and maybe hardest to understand—is a legislative effort to move to instant runoff elections. Jay Evensen of the Deseret News wrote about how it could change the political landscape. Voters will have to pay attention.

Deadly Smog

It’s not January yet, so Utahns can breathe a little—unless they’re in the path of smoke from fires raging in the West. Still, the state is hesitant to take major steps in protecting the lungs of its population. A 2015 report by The Lancet Commission on Pollution and Health said pollution was linked to 9 million deaths worldwide. A Deseret News report talked about streamlining the permitting process for the oiland-gas industry, saying emissions somehow will be reduced because permitting is more efficient. That must make sense to someone. Coincidentally, KUER’s Judy Fahys took a trip to Pennsylvania to visit the Smog Museum. Smog was cleaned up in Donora, Pa., where “people looked at the smog disaster as sort of an embarrassment—as sort of a tragedy that you don’t want to revisit.” In Utah, it’s not just one big industry that’s the problem, and someone needs to look for a systemic solution.

NICHOLAS BROWN

Whoa! Did you know that Best Friends Animal Sanctuary is a satanic church? Or that Women’s Day in Utah was actually a front for communism? Or that John Curtis has a history of sexual harassment and abuse, among other things? If you don’t, then you haven’t been trolling the burgeoning conspiracy sites—many of which purport to be journalism at its best. There’s utahstandardnews.com, for one, which is trying (unsuccessfully) to get the Deseret News to pay attention. With all the tweeting about #fakenews these days, the public has become confused and duped by the purveyors of doom who claim to be the standard-bearers of truth and the American way. Anti-vaxers, for example, are complaining that Facebook is blocking their videos. Wow.

An actor, director and choreographer all rolled into one, Sunny Bringhurst has been intertwined with The Off Broadway Theatre for about eight years and involved in musical theater for years before that. On the production side, her latest endeavor is directing and choreographing Forever Dead, which runs through Nov. 4 with shows at 7:30 p.m. every Friday, Saturday and Monday at 272 S. Main.

How would you describe the play?

It’s a parody of the popular jukebox musical Forever Plaid, loosely based on that show. It’s featuring, instead of the regular quartet, the universal movie monsters: the werewolf, the Dracula, the mummy and Frankenstein’s monster. We parody songs from the musical Forever Plaid, so anyone who has seen that will recognize the numbers, particularly in the first act of the show. Whereas the characters from Forever Plaid come back from the dead to do their last show, this one has our universal monsters figure out what they need to do to be able to pass on to the next realm and not have to continue haunting The Off Broadway Theatre. Through the music and through the numbers they figure out what they need to resolve into the next life.

Is this an original?

It is. It was written by Eric Jensen. He’s the artistic director of the OBT. John Baty has added a number of jokes and songs to bring it current. He’s kind of an audience favorite. He’s been with the OBT since it’s been around.

Why do you think it connects with local audiences?

Since the show is open to improv, every audience gets a show that is just for them. We have lots of Utah-centric jokes and current pop culture, politics and news—not that it’s political at all—but there are moments that audiences will recognize from current events. ... There are little audience participation opportunities, and our final departure song is actually kind of made up on the spot for that particular audience for that particular night. … It builds that Halloween excitement for kids and adults. It’s a musical show, and it’s packed full of singing and dancing and music.

What has been the biggest challenge?

It’s a cast of four actors plus the accompanist who pops in as an ancillary actor herself, but there’s only four, and they’re on stage from top to bottom. There’s no scene changes, no breaks, really. It was a tremendous amount of work to learn all these songs, which have pretty intricate four-part harmonies, fully choreographed, as well as the scripted lines, and being able to speak on their feet for the improvisation. ... We’ve got four incredibly talented guys that worked really, really hard and were super dedicated to get all of that done in a regular amount of rehearsal time, which for us is three days a week. For a regular show, you’d rehearse six days a week to get it all done.

What’s next for you?

What’s next for me is I’m having a baby in a couple of weeks. So, I’ll be taking a little break. We did this whole thing in my third trimester of pregnancy. But I will be choreographing and directing H.M.S. Pinafore for The Off Broadway Theatre next year.

—DYLAN WOOLF HARRIS dwharris@cityweekly.net

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10 | OCTOBER 26, 2017

BY CECIL ADAMS

SLUG SIGNORINO

STRAIGHT DOPE Scary Sounds There are certain sounds that drive us batty. For many people, it’s nails on a chalkboard. For me, it’s the squeaking sound of styrofoam. What causes this reaction? —Brepark, via the Straight Dope Message Board

I’ve gotta say, it’s a tribute to the unique awfulness of the sound made by nails on a chalkboard that we’re even still talking about it—when was the last time you saw a chalkboard, anyway? Back in 2000, dryerase whiteboards were reportedly outselling the traditional blackboard four-to-one; by now the latter is practically a relic. Here at the Straight Dope, though, we’ve stayed on the case for 30 years. I first discussed this in a 1986 column where I reported on a study of the “psychoacoustics of a chilling sound”: chalkboard scraping. The authors noted that the waveforms of the sound resembled the alarm cries of macaque monkeys and speculated that perhaps our aversive reaction is a vestigial reflex, triggering something in our primate brains alerting us to danger. I threw a little cold water on this theory back then, and I’m pleased to report the science has caught up with me. In fact, one study from 2003 took the next logical step: polling the monkeys. Not macaques, though; this research looked at cotton-top tamarins, a New World species, comparing their reactions to aversive noises with that of their closest human relatives, Harvard undergraduates. In the experiment, both monkeys and undergrads were exposed to white noise and to a sound “produced by scraping a three-pronged metal garden tool down a pane of glass,” described in the paper as a “variant of the fingernails-on-a-blackboard sound”—actual blackboards having already grown scarce in Cambridge, I guess. Anyways, researchers found that, given the choice to stay in the same spot or move away, the undergrads stayed put when exposed to the white noise but high-tailed it out of there for the scraping. The monkeys, by contrast, didn’t seem to care either way. Admitting some drawbacks in the design of the study— notably the use of tamarins, rather than the Old World primates we’re more closely related to—the authors concluded that “although such preferences might be innate in humans, they likely have evolved after the divergence point with our primate cousins.” That’s what most of the research on this subject is aimed at: innateness. Is our aversion to the sound of nails on a chalkboard— or any number of other commonly detested noises, like your squeaking styrofoam—a learned aversion, or is there something instinctual that causes our discomfort? One 2008 paper out of England sought to determine whether age or gender played a role in how people reacted to a series of “horrible sounds,” including our acoustic bête noire, the nails-on-chalkboard sound. (NOC has been the specific focus of most similar research, though you’ll be pleased to know that this study’s subjects actually rated the styrofoam noise as even more

unpleasant.) If aversion is innate, went the reasoning, one might see links to reproductive success: The females of the species would have a stronger negative reaction, given they might be protecting themselves and their offspring, and older folks might have a higher tolerance given their lower procreative potential. The results were suggestive, if only that: Females found NOC to be “slightly worse” than others did, while folks in the 15-35 age range found it “significantly worse” than older or younger people. Again, intriguing, but clearly to be taken with several grains of salt: The numbers were not only far from conclusive, but they were also obtained via internet survey— meaning factors like speaker quality and playback volume were outside the researchers’ control. For a slightly more rigorous analysis, we turn to a 2011 study that attempted to physically quantify reactions to the nails/chalkboard sound. Two European musicologists hooked subjects up to a battery of devices, measuring heart rate, electrical conductivity of the skin, and the like, and let ’er scrape: Participants heard recordings of various sounds, including fingernails and chalk against slate, some modified to exclude certain audio frequencies. Results? Skin conductivity changed pretty consistently in response to sounds the subjects described as unpleasant, NOC rated foremost among them. The key frequencies for auditory unpleasantness, the data indicated, weren’t the high-end ones (and this lines up with the study I looked at in ’86) but those between 2,000-4,000 hertz—right in the middle of the range found in human speech. The researchers took this to suggest that the problem might indeed be inbred, if not exactly instinctual: The shape of our ear canals amplifies sounds in that range, meaning we might naturally experience NOC as more intense than sounds at higher or lower frequencies. There was also evidence pointing to a learned response: Subjects who knew the provenance of the awful noise rated it as more unpleasant than those who were told it came from music. Which, I submit, means we might yet evolve our way out of this situation. Imagine repeating the study with 5-year-olds. Their perception wouldn’t be colored by learning where the offensive sound came from. They’d say: What the hell’s a chalkboard? n

Send questions via straightdope.com or write c/o Chicago Reader, 350 N. Orleans, Chicago 60654.

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THE

OCHO

THE LIST OF EIGHT

BY BILL FROST

@bill _ frost

In a week, you can

CHANGE THE WORLD

HOMELESSNESS DOCUMENTARY SCREENING

If this sounds a little too depressing for you, think again. Salt Lake City hospice The Inn Between is highlighted in the KUED Channel 7 documentary Homeless at the End , which gives an intimate look at the final months and days of people who, if not for The Inn Between, likely would have died on the streets or in a shelter without support. “The film shows the need for greater understanding and compassion for the terminally ill as they face the end of life,” KUED’s online description reads. The one-hour screening is followed by a panel discussion including Salt Lake County Mayor Ben McAdams, Deseret News Columnist Lois Collins and staff of The Inn Between. SLC Main Library, 210 E. 400 South, 801-524-8200, Wednesday, Nov. 1, 7-9 p.m., RSVP to ldurham@kued.org by Oct. 29, free, bit.ly/2l4pJuT

TRUMP AND THE MEDIA

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12 | OCTOBER 26, 2017

CITIZEN REVOLT

Eight Halloween candies, explained:

8. Tootsie Rolls: Lego turds 7. Whoppers: malted asbestos 6. Smarties: placebo Tums 5. Hershey’s Kisses: beginner butt plugs

4. Swedish Fish: Satan’s earwax 3. Skittles: diet Starburst 2. Jolly Ranchers: vodka garnish 1. Candy corn: Trump nipples

Getting tired of hearing that everything is #fakenews? Take a break to listen to The New Yorker Editor David Remnick speak about Press in the Age of Trump instead. Remnick knows what he’s talking about. He’s authored several books, including The Bridge: The Life and Rise of Barack Obama and Lenin’s Tomb: The Final Days of The Soviet Empire, for which he received a Pulitzer Prize for nonfiction and a George Polk Award for Excellence in Journalism. He’s written a thing or two about the tweeting president, too. University of Utah, Rowland Hall, 720 Guardsman Way, 801-3557485, Saturday, Oct. 28, 7 p.m., free, bit.ly/2zEk3eg

RAPPELLING AGAINST VIOLENCE

Well, this should be fun to watch. You can see some 90 participants rappel off the Maverik Base Camp building—that’s 13 stories, BTW—in Over the Edge, an event to raise awareness of domestic violence. The rappellers have raised $1,000 each to help fund services for victims of domestic violence and sexual assault at the Salt Lake Area Family Justice Center at the Y WCA. You can also register to participate in the fundraising challenge individually or as a team, with the option of rappelling (see website for details). At the base, there main event includes music, food and, of course, a public viewing. Maverik Base Camp, 185 S. State, 801-537-8610, Friday, Oct. 27, 9 a.m.-5 p.m., bit.ly/2yve0ev

—KATHARINE BIELE

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NEWS Enthusiasm

GOVERNMENT

Sustained

Two Salt Lake City councilmembers call it quits, look ahead to next chapter.

DW HARRIS

District 7 Councilwoman Lisa Adams

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OCTOBER 26, 2017 | 13

directly, and occasionally I get a response, and I appreciate it when I do.” She hopes the incoming council will work to nurture better lines of dialogue. Penfold, who has been on the council dais since 2010, largely agrees. He says the legislative side tends to move at a deliberate pace, whereas the mayor’s office expects swift action. “The council as a body has a good history of being transparent,” he says. “The speed the administration wants to move is fast. We want to make sure that the community understands what we’re doing.” The process can sometimes lead to failed measures. Earlier this year, Biskupski nominated Sen. Jim Dabakis, D-Salt Lake City, to serve on the UTA board as a city liaison. But the council rejected her pick. “We really aren’t necessarily interested in someone who was going to fight with UTA; we want someone who can represent the needs of the residents, and there aren’t any members on the board currently who are actually users of the system, and that was really important to us,” Penfold says. Penfold is swift to clarify that his relationship with the mayor’s office wasn’t always complicated. In fact, it was former mayor Ralph Becker, a longtime friend to Penfold, who encouraged him to run when Councilman Eric Jergensen’s seat opened up. “He called me on a Friday and said, ‘I want you to think about this.’” Penfold said he’d consider it, to which Becker responded: “Well, you have to think about it really fast because filing ends on Tuesday.” The encouragement was enough for Penfold, who had a history of working in his neighborhood to reduce speeding. Among his goals, Penfold wanted to improve the city’s public transportation. He supported the idea of connecting bus stops along the core Trax infrastructure, which, he says, was great at getting

and maintenance—so we’d have all this great stuff but no way to make sure that in 10 years it’s not falling apart,” she says. In the last year, homelessness has been a recurring issue facing the city, and Adams agrees with the broad, scattered-site plan that will eventually lead to the closure of the downtown Road Home shelter. If the homeless population is broken up, she says, helping them get the specific services they need is manageable. The plan has been contentious, though, because residents worry that the drug market that plagues downtown, and criminals who had embedded among the city’s most destitute, would relocate with the resource centers. Adams contends that won’t be the case. “We aren’t trying to replicate [Rio Grande],” she says. “We’re trying to break it down into smaller bites.” Adams says she wasn’t expecting homelessness to occupy so much of the council’s agenda this year, but she isn’t surprised that it did. “One thing I’ve learned on the council is that at the beginning of the year, we set our priorities and we decide we are going to work on those things,” she says. “Inevitably, something bubbles to the surface that had not been on our radars, that consumes an inordinate amount of time.” A couple years ago, she remembers, the city found itself in an unplanned and ongoing debate about the fate of city-owned golf courses. The issue caused rifts among elected leaders, as well as residents who divided down the lines of golfers and those who wanted to use the green space for something else. As it is, Adams acknowledges the precarious relationship council members have with Salt Lake City Mayor Jackie Biskupski. She says a large part is based on communication obstacles. “The mayor wants to speak through her people,” Adams says. “I will text her

ling homelessness, Adams will soon be watching from the sidelines. She and District 3 Councilman Stan Penfold are the two council incumbents who decided against seeking re-election. Their successors will be selected at balloting on Nov. 7. As their time on the council comes to an end, both reflect on their tenures. Adams looks at her track record proudly. “It was really important to me to improve things in terms of police presence in District 7,” she says. “I’m really happy that we’ve been able to do that, particularly with bringing back the bike squad.” Elected in 2013, she notes that the job has a steep learning curve. She didn’t fully understand, for example, the different roles of the council and mayor’s office, which both she and Penfold said seems to be a common misunderstanding among newly elected officials and their constituents. “If I want a street repaved, we can provide the money,” she says, for example, “but the mayor can decide to take the money and use it somewhere else.” Watching the continued growth and new S-Line train through Sugar House, Adams reasoned that a centralized police station wasn’t cutting it, and she championed bringing back bicycling cops to the neighborhood. “Now there’s a plan to put a police precinct in District 7,” she adds. Along with her initial support for the Simpson Avenue homeless shelter, Adams took a few hits for opposing a failed recreation bond two years ago. But, in the latter case, it’s a decision she stands by because of the estimated $120 million price tag that would have been paid for through an uptick in property taxes to homeowners but wouldn’t have covered long-term maintenance. “It would buy us all this cool stuff, but you can’t use bond money for operations

District 3 Councilman Stan Penfold

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isa Adams’ constituents were furious. Late last year, feeling initially blindsided and beside themselves, neighbors in a quiet, working-class section of Sugar House bristled at the city’s surprise announcement that a new homeless shelter was moving nearby. It was the beginning of a grassroots protest that would drag on for two months. Aiming to cool tensions, Salt Lake City Councilwoman Adams ventured out on a freezing December day, knocking on doors while holding a FAQ fact sheet. She thought maybe she could assuage their anger through face-to-face outreach—at least by explaining the city’s vision. Still, the outrage was so volatile that a police officer escorted Adams just to ensure her safety. Met with anger, Adams says neighbors should have been warned beforehand to avoid the need for post-announcement damage control: “I got yelled at,” she admits. “But it was OK.” Ask Adams whether she has any gleaming regrets over her nearly four years on city council, and she’ll tell you about her initial support to build a new homeless resource center on Simpson Avenue. But that’s not necessarily because of the bitter reaction. Adams, who represents District 7, which encompasses the southeastern portion of the city and most of Sugar House, says her support was contingent on the facility being designated for women and children only. Details that surfaced later, however, made her change her mind. “Once I got the rest of the information, I thought, ‘This is a bad idea,’” she says. She didn’t realize, for example, that nearby tenants had long-term leases, and she didn’t know initially how much the shelter would cost. “There aren’t enough families that we need a $15 million shelter just for families,” she says. Soon after, she rescinded her support, and amid unabating opposition, the city decided to scrap the location. It was a challenging—but memorable— public-servant lesson, Adams observes. While the city moves forward tack-

DW HARRIS

BY DYLAN WOOLF HARRIS dwharris@cityweekly.net @dylantheharris

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The city dropped its proposal to build a homeless shelter that would have displaced the Lit’l Scholars Learning Center on Simpson Avenue.

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commuters downtown or to the University of Utah, but not at getting people efficiently from one neighborhood to the next. Instead, he says, the system got worse. “I got in just as the recession was starting. We had two really horrible years for the city budget, and at the same time, UTA lost all their sales tax, so they scaled back all their bus services,” he says. Now, years later in a recovered economy, he’s still not satisfied with public transit services within the city. He foresees the issue could be taken up by community councils. Penfold also thinks the relationship between the city council and the advisory neighborhood councils should improve. “Community councils are an interesting sort of beast. They tend to organize well around problem issues,” he says, citing crime along State Street as one example. When Penfold initially engaged with his neighborhood council, the city offered support in the form of staff, training and a regular neighborhood conference. Regrettably to Penfold, the connection faded over time. “I think it’s time to develop a new supportive relationship with them,” Penfold says. “Especially with so many new people coming into the city. I think there’s going to be a growing need for people to be engaged in the city.” As a councilman, Penfold is proud of the city successfully changing liquor ordinances. At one time, Salt Lake City was more restrictive than the state, only allowing for two alcohol establishments per block face; the council lifted the restriction, and downtown flourished with new bars and restaurants. In addition, some neighborhoods outright banned bars, so the council voted to allow alcohol establishments in business zones. Avenues Proper, Penfold remembers, was the first bar in a residential neighborhood. “Everyone was really afraid that neighborhoods were going to go in the toilet if we have bars. People didn’t understand what it would look like,” he says. Penfold also adds to his track record his support for the downtown Eccles Theater,

despite contention surrounding it. “There was a lot of fear about a new theater in town. There were a lot of arts organizations in particular that thought it was going to hurt the arts. Some people were upset about investing that much money. There were a lot of challenges and concerns. It survived a lot of close votes, 4 to 3 votes,” he says. “Of course, now, everybody sees it as a huge success.” Despite what he deems an accomplished run, Penfold decided not to seek another term. In a Salt Lake Tribune article published last March, Penfold was criticized by a former employee of the Utah AIDS Foundation who accused him of failing to split his time between his duties as its director and his council responsibilities. Penfold says that neither the article nor the accusation influenced his decision. He chalks up his announcement and the article’s publication as bad timing. Leaving the council was a decision he’d been considering since January, he says, and “pretty much” reached it the following month. Adams decided to walk away before she lost all her steam. “I don’t know that I could sustain the enthusiasm that I’ve had for four more years. I’d much rather end when I feel like I’ve accomplished some good things, stuff I’m proud of; and that I’m sprinting across the finish line instead of crawling,” Adams says. District 3 voters will choose whether Phil Carroll or Chris Wharton will be Penfold’s successor; the decision for District 7, Adams’ area, is between Amy Fowler and Abe Smith. District 1 incumbent James Rogers is being challenged by David Atkins, and in District 5, George Chapman is running against incumbent Erin Mendenhall. Neither Penfold nor Adams is sure what’s next. Adams says she probably won’t run for office again. Asked if he’d consider a mayoral run, Penfold laughs at the idea before he answers in earnest: “Never say never.” CW

31 SPOTS IN AND AROUND SLC TO GET YOUR SPOOK ON.

1. Utah State Capitol

WHITE MEMORIAL CHAPEL

Overlooking Salt Lake City from high on a hill, the 101-year-old edifice is conveniently close to three rumored sites of diabolical rites: City Creek Canyon, Memory Grove and the Salt Lake Temple. Right on the property is an old Gothic church with a stained-glass pentacle. It’s called the White Memorial Chapel—or the White Chapel for short, evoking Jack the Ripper. Used in magic, the pentacle is rejected as satanic by most forms of Christianity. So what clandestine hoodoo happens in the chapel when it’s not booked for a Gentile wedding? More spine-tingling is the Capitol Building itself, where lawmakers legislate based on so-called sincerely held personal beliefs—but these self-styled white knights are really in it for power and filthy lucre.

2. Utah Data Center

Down around the Point of the Mountain are two huge buildings. One houses violent criminals. The other bookmarks all your favorite internet haunts, while claiming to have no internet service and poo-pooing the notion that they’d even dream of accessing and analyzing said information without a warrant. Which one frightens you more? The building where murderers and rapists are locked up tight, or the one where all your dirty secrets are on file so the government knows your favorite flavor of porn, right down to the color of balloons you like to pop with your butt? (Blue. HMU, Party City employees.)

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CHRIS BURGES

3. Hi-Fi Murders

Ogden’s Hi-Fi Shop, along with many of the surrounding buildings, has been razed—the address 2323 Washington Blvd. no longer exists. But you can still stand at the approximate location of the scene of some of the grisliest murders in Utah history. Why would you, when the city has gone to such lengths to rub out any remnant of the day when Pierre Dale Selby and William Andrews shot and tortured five innocent people, making some of them drink drain cleaner and shoving a ballpoint pen into a victim’s ear? That’s right—don’t think about it, just keep walking.

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his hyperbolic appraisal of spine-chilling locations is based on personal visits, secondhand anecdotes and internet research, aka “Googling.” Persons easily frightened by evil, the paranormal, poop, politicians, religious crackpots, heights, little people, serial killers, curses, shapeshifters, invisible children, weird sculptures, old buildings, urban legends, government surveillance, germs, deep holes, the D R A dark and their own shadows should read with the lights on, deadbolt engaged and disbelief suspended. RWkly.net A H Everywhere and everything is haunted. There’s a ghost in every theater, hotel, body of water, forest, ruin, death DYitywee N A scene, cemetery, religious edifice, deserted highway, abandoned building, work of art and repurposed medical facility— BYrRward@c again, everywhere. That’s why horror films and lame paranormal “reality” shows hosted by guidos and rednecks proliferate. We rha want to be haunted, because ghost stories satisfy two common human desires by adding excitement to our ho-hum existences and hinting at some kind of afterlife, whether it’s heaven, hell, limbo, purgatory, the Terrestrial Kingdom or The Twilight Zone. But creepy doesn’t always involve the spirit realm; in real life, governments, religions and the weird guy next door all give us plenty of reasons to shudder.

The question to this Jeopardy! answer is, “Where’d you hide the body?” The biblically named body of water is a famed dumping ground for murderers and, given its proximity to backyards and public parks along its 40-mile stretch to the Great Salt Lake, a common scene of tragic accidental deaths. When you factor in dead animals, leeches, broken glass, duck turds and that it’s fed by Utah Lake, a longtime raw sewage dump—rrrrrrralph! Surprisingly, rotting corpses generally only increase risk of gastroenteritis (infectious diarrhea). Clean-up efforts notwithstanding, the bacteria level remains nasty enough to land a guy (me) in the hospital. That, combined with the thought of pissed off ghosts swirling in the river’s undertow, makes it a foregone conclusion that the Jordan River will make you shit your pants.

7. Salt Lake City Cemetery

When the zombie apocalypse happens, this body garden will yield more than 124,000 shufflers, including many politicians (Gov. Olene Walker) and LDS bigwigs (Spencer W. Kimball). Also, the “Mormon Samson,” Orrin Porter Rockwell—a member of the Danites, a group portrayed by the faithful as the 19th century Mormon Justice League, and by non-church historians as barbaric enforcers. Hi-Fi murderer Pierre Dale Selby rests here, as does Lilly A. Gray, whose headstone reads, “VICTIM OF THE BEAST 666.” Likewise, brewer Jacob Moritz, occupant of the storied and inexplicably named Emo’s Grave, and Rock 103 disc jockey Barry Moll, inventor of the blockparty weekend. Imagine that mob punching through the earth with lust for your tasty guts.

8. Salt Lake Temple

To many Utahns, it’s a sacred place where families bond for eternity and the dead undergo involuntary religion reassignment. But to a consistently growing non-LDS citizenry, it’s a foreboding castle symbolizing rejection of their lifestyle—and even their genetic composition, causing them to feel unwelcome in their own hometown. It’s populated by elderly drones dressed for God’s white party and the Danite Security Service who, upon spotting apostates and Gentiles with visible tattoos, arrive in their Mr. Mac suits to spirit them away, lest they disturb the presumptuous proxy-dunkings and marriages that purport to unite families while causing turmoil in clans not equally yoked. Oh, and there’s a towering, milk-toned statue of a cis-white male patriarch-turned-zombie. Screeeeeeeeeeeeeam!

FRANK JENSEN

THE AUTHOR’S DAUGHTER SINKS INTO THE SOFT LAKEBED

5. Mountain Meadows Massacre Monument

RANDY HARWARD

The idea that well over 100 people—including children—were murdered by a Mormon militia posing as Paiutes should make you queasy. That they were killed for no good reason exponentially increases the quease. Even worse, while standing at the monument erected by descendants of the victims and perpetrators, imagine how the victims themselves must have felt, cowering behind circled wagons, trying to fight back in spite of being woefully outgunned. Then, thinking they’ve been rescued, watching their menfolk slaughtered simultaneously by their would-be saviors before the guns turned on them. Which probably explains why visitors to the monument empathize with the victims’ anguish and terror, which dovetail into profound sorrow.

9. The Great Salt Lake

Pennywise the Clown would love that everything floats here in the world’s ninth saltiest body of water. Next time you’re there, stand in the stanky water while facing the north shore. As your feet sink into the soft, sandy lakebed, imagine the Great Saltair in flames behind you—it’s been set ablaze three times, including total losses in 1925 and 1970. As the bed swallows your toes, ponder the North Shore Monster, described as a croco-horse, and grave-robber/suspected necrophile John Baptiste, who was exiled to Fremont Island only to vanish soon afterward. Finally, as the fine wet sand grips your cankles, ruminate upon whale sightings, waterspouts, whirlpools that can suck you all the way to the Pacific Ocean—and underwater quicksand.

6. Gilgal Sculpture Garden

Devout Mormon Thomas Battersby Child began the first of Gilgal’s 12 monumental sculptures in 1945, working on them until his death in 1963. While the garden of finely detailed formations was open for Sunday afternoon tours, thrill-seekers preferred trespassing for late-night peeks. In daylight, the works are puzzling: a sphinx with Joseph Smith’s face, boulder-sized human hearts, a dismembered Nubian giant, a self-portrait of Child flanked by masonry tools resembling bondage gizmos, walkways engraved with esoteric text. At night, they’re unsettling; you almost expect hooded acolytes with ornate blades to tie you to the altar (there is one). Gilgal’s designation as a public park in October 2000, courtesy of the Friends of Gilgal Garden, somewhat tempers the adrenaline—but not the chills.

In January 2015, reddit user discogodfather6922 posted that, in five years living across the street from the bright green preschool at 1248 S. 300 East, he’d never seen children here. It triggered a conspiracy-theory circle-jerk. Fellow locals posted dittoes and detailed their own investigations. Images were analyzed, public records scrutinized. Some suspected it abandoned and haunted; others felt it was a CIA black site. Former City Weekly staff writer Eric Peterson covered the story for Vice, interviewing Fun Time’s neighbors. He noticed fellow City Weekly contributor Bryan Young commented on the thread, saying that Fun Time is on the up-and-up, merely a means for the owner, whom he knew and who declined comment, to keep his mother busy. It remains open, sleepy and creepy.

DEREK CARLISLE

10. Fun Time Kidz Kare RANDY HARWARD

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4. The Jordan River

11. Peery Hotel

GERALD GUNDERSEN

The building at 110 W. 300 South isn’t as sprawling and majestic as the Overlook Hotel, and it doesn’t sit high in the mountains—but the 107-year-old Peery looks the part on the inside, from the 1920s vibe to the sparkly chandeliers in the lobby and redrum-colored carpets on the upper floors. There’s also a seriously creaky, claustrophobic elevator named “Moaning Molly” for what’s believed to be a perpetual spectral guest. The place has gotten a complete overhaul and is now the epitome of swanky, but that doesn’t mean you won’t catch yourself on the lookout for creepy twins in the hallway, checking the bathtub for demonic catfishing hottie-hags and wishing you still had your Big Wheel to ride around the place.

DOC SEARLS

14. Escalante Petrified Forest

Curses are just more superstition. But that’s probably what visitors to the picturesque Escalante Petrified Forest State Park thought when they pocketed small pieces of fossilized wood in spite of bad juju warnings. Several times a year, a letter shows up with the pilfered wood. Its author claims to have had terrible luck since returning home with their ill-gotten trinket and believes returning it will lift the curse. Of course, there are no reports of updates—just a story that probably reinforces what is already against federal law. Don’t remove anything from a state park. There will be blood—and fines!

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12. Bingham Canyon Mine

SHERIFF’S OFFICE SALT LAKE COUNTY

HEATHER DAVIS

How awesome would it have been to blast Iron Maiden’s “The Number of the Beast” on a 200-mile stretch of highway (at the posted speed limit, of course) called Route 666, barreling toward the end of the fucking line, which happened to be in wholesome-ass Utah? Sorry, folks—coincidence, superstition and religion conspired to screw us on this one after a combination of supernatural events (skinwalkers, mad truckers, ghost girls, demon dogs) and real-life tragedies (fatal car crashes) spooked people enough that lawmakers rechristened 666 as U.S. 491, a much less baleful—but totally boring—designation. “Four! Nine-one! The num-ber of-the beast!” just doesn’t have the same ring.

OCTOBER 26, 2017 | 17

16. The Devil’s Highway: Route 666/U.S. 491

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In 1981, convicted murderer and pedophile Bishop went to the Smith’s at 3901 S. State to buy snacks for a movie party with other boys later that night. When 4-year-old Danny Davis wandered away from his grandfather, Bishop invited the child to his nearby apartment, where he molested and strangled him, placing his body inside a trash bag. In the morning, sheriff’s deputies questioned Bishop with the bag visible through his car’s hatchback window. A 1988 Deseret News story—published the day before his execution for the kidnapping, murder and often post-mortem sexual abuse of five boys—reports that Bishop told interrogators, “I just smiled.” (Author’s note: When Bishop was arrested in 1983, TV and newspaper stories showed that he lived in a home near 2100 S. and 600 East, where I’d been delivering grocery store ads for at least a year. Fifteen years later, I worked for CrossLand Mortgage—at 3901 S. State.)

Some stories about this colorful crag located at the mouth of Parleys Canyon have people flying off of it like firework sparks, landing in coppery scented splats. The story handed down over time, however, says only one person has ever actually swan-dived into the sweet byand-by from Suicide Rock—a young Native American woman distraught over the loss of her betrothed. Absent evidence for either side, where is the terror? Maybe it’s in the possibility that a suggestible kid who feels like shit might decide to be No. 2.

13. Where Arthur Gary Bishop Met His Penultimate Victim

15. Suicide Rock

At the end of Robert Rodriguez’ 1995 vampire flick From Dusk till Dawn, an aerial shot reveals the Titty Twister bar’s back patio as the ruins of an Aztec temple. It looks a lot like this mine. Once a mountain, after 100 years of steady mining, it’s now the largest man-made excavation on Earth. At a half-mile deep and 2.5 miles wide, it’s no fun for acrophobes (people who fear heights), bathophobes (depths) and trypophobes (holes). And megalophobes will have a really tough time with the 320-ton capacity haulage trucks. They needn’t worry, however—a 2013 rock slide, which triggered 16 small earthquakes, forced Kennecott to close the overlook and visitor’s center.

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20. Rio Grande Depot

Public restrooms are a special kind of creepy, what with all that indirect butt-to-butt contact. Imagine, though, if you were just sitting there doing your business when you see a ghost. Visitors to the former train station downtown report a dark-haired female apparition in the ladies’ room, which would cause anyone to lose their, uh, cool. Speaking of which, while on assignment for another paper in 1999, I felt the temperature drop and heard voices in the Rio Grande basement. I’m not saying it was a ghost, just that I felt and heard something and it made my spine wiggle.

21. Old Tooele Hospital/Asylum 49

Would you dare spend a night in an old haunted hospital and pay for the privilege? Would you pay a premium to add full-contact experience, giving license to horny teenaged “actors” to touch, grab or carry you away—even detain you for hours and strap you to a metal bed? What if half the place is still a nursing home, coexisting with the Asylum 49 haunted house? They say that late at night, you still see old Mr. Carlisle shuffling toward you in his non-slip socks and open robe, holding out his colostomy bag, staring with dead eyes as he wheezes, “It’s fuuullllll …”

22. Cottonwood Paper Mill

QUINCEY FISHER

23. Bear Lake

Bears. The tricky bastards emulate the much smaller and less threatening ursine species, known colloquially as the “Teddy,” leading us to believe they’re friendly. Then, when we try to pet them, they steal our pic-a-nic baskets and crush our skulls. Then there’s the area’s strange, cultic fascination with raspberries—they’re everywhere and in everything. Most frightening is the lake’s disturbingly clear water, which means that you’d see the 50-foot-long croc-snakeotter-manatee with 18-inch legs called the Bear Lake Monster well before it eats you, painfully prolonging the sense of impending doom. Good thing that legend turned out to be a hoax, eh?

18. Tunnels!

Live here long enough and you’ll hear about a network underground catacombs for which the Temple is a nexus. Their purpose varies with the storyteller. Explanations range from them being alternative transportation for LDS church high muck-a-mucks so they don’t get mobbed like J-pop stars to absurd hyperbole. For example, maybe local politicians and church officials use them to slink back to their subterranean lair, where they shed their human skins, pop open a can of children’s tears and binge on Grey’s Anatomy. Tunnels are for transportation, and most cities have them. But the church has been cagey about their existence and purpose, so maybe there is a terrifying reason behind them—like that they lead to hatches that open into all of our homes.

DEBRA FOWLER

19. Ted Bundy’s House

More popularly known as the Haunted Old Mill, the history of the old edifice at the mouth of Big Cottonwood Canyon is ripe for horror stories. First, it’s old—constructed in 1883 with granite leftover from the Temple. It has been many things before its condemnation in the mid-aughts: a mill, an open-air dance club, a disco, a Halloween haunted house and a craft boutique. There are stories of people dying in fires or committing suicide there, and reports of invisible barking dogs, and lights working without power. Rumors circulate that it’s difficult to get inside the place. These are belied by YouTube videos that reveal it as just another rickety ruin.

Visiting the ruins of the former residence of a long-dead serial killer who had a reputation as a master manipulator sounds like the premise for a great horror flick. And also a bad idea, especially when the ruins are located in Emigration Canyon and consist of a hole in a wall, leading to a staircase that descends into the only intact room: the smelly, vandalized cellar. There could be anything down there: rabid animals, meth-crazed squatters, old copies of National Geographic, a copycat killer, Bundy’s charming murderous ghost—or just garbage and the smell of human waste.

GENTRY TAYLOR

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Claude Corky Nowell made all the right Mormon moves (mission, temple marriage), but lost interest in the church and divorced his wife in 1974. The following year, after encountering “highly intelligent beings” (probably aliens), he adopted the name Summum Bonum Amon Ra (Corky Ra, for short) and founded Summum, a cult practicing mummification and winemaking from a pyramid-shaped temple in downtown SLC. Called “Nectar Publications,” their wines supposedly facilitate transubstantiation and divine resonations while dissolving obstacles, increasing understanding and perception. Translated: You can do anything while blotto. Ra was the first of his flock to be swaddled and spiced when he died in 2008. That ain’t so special. It could easily have been Summum else.

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17. Summum Temple

24. Kay’s Cross

Exactly how a 20-foot tall, 13-foot wide stone cross engraved with the letter “K” appeared in a Kaysville hollow remains a mystery, but most accounts agree that it was built in 1946. Characters reportedly involved in its construction include a cult leader named Krishna Venta, a fundamentalist Mormon named Kingston and William Kay, who founded the town. Although some area residents refuse to talk about it, stories circulate about werewolf sightings, ghosts, murder-suicides, a human heart hidden inside it and buried treasure. Someone exploded the cross in 1992, but it remained an object of interest that one could only see by trespassing onto private property. In 2013, a deal was struck to make it into a haunted forest attraction at Halloween.

RANDY HARWARD

DEREK CARLISLE

25. The Alta Club

29. Halloween 5 House

26. Voodoo Caves

30. Skinwalker Ranch

27. Capitol Theatre

31. Hobbitville, aka Allen Park

In 1883, before Utah achieved statehood, 81 Gentiles, aka non-Mormons, founded this club “to present the comforts and luxuries of a home together with the attraction to its members of meeting each other in a pleasant and social way.” It seems only fair that non-members have their own exclusive place, but two years later, they decided to let Mormons join and it became known as a rich man’s club. A place so old is bound to have some ghost stories. The Alta Club has two. One involves a fire started by a man who zonked out while smoking a cigar in the ’50s. The other, called the Lady of the Evening, makes her presence known by her lilac perfume and frigid, invisible touch.

Well, that’s the story. So the next time your car goes on the fritz while cruising U.S. Route 491 or that piece of legislation you were backing blows up, before you call your representative, turn on all the lights. Check the closets and crawl spaces. Look under all the beds. ‘Cause you never can tell. Arthur Gary Bishop might be in your house. J/k … that fucker was executed by lethal injection in 1988 at Point of the Mountain. CW

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OCTOBER 26, 2017 | 19

Freemasons say they’re prominent local businessmen who strive to make good men better and support the community. But if we’ve learned anything from The Simpsons, they’re actually an ancient cabal that keeps the U.S. from adopting the metric system and the Martians under wraps. Even if those accusations were false (and they’re not), they still don silly hats and aprons and do a lot of stuff in secret while mandating a belief in the Supreme Being, however each member defines him. That doesn’t seem too scary, but neither do the words “Enter freely and of your own will,” which describe the first step on the path to membership.

DEREK CARLISLE

28. Salt Lake Masonic Temple

Many Salt Lakers have searched for Hobbitville, which, depending on who first told the story, was either the site of secret satanic rituals or a community of tiny homes populated by little people. Since hardly anyone could tell you Hobbitville’s exact location, some pointed to the Memory Grove Park, Miller Bird Refuge or even Gilgal. The so-called “real” Hobbitville is called Allen Park and sits ensconced in trees across from Westminster College. While its dwellings are small, the private neighborhood was never a miniature mecca for little people, according to abundant online debunkings. That still doesn’t keep the drunk and slow-witted from trespassing at night only to be chased away by a security guard.

Ah, the theater. Is there anywhere better suited to dramatic fiction? On July 4, 1949, a 17-yearold usher named Richard Duffin died when the theater caught on fire during a double-feature. (Super)naturally, he’s now a poltergeist nicknamed George, and he plays tricks on theater staff and security guards, causing them to smell smoke where there is none and perceive his presence “every once in awhile,” then-stage manager Doug Morgan told the Associated Press in 1999. George is most active during performances of The Nutcracker. If the Capitol Theatre still showed films, it might be funny to see what George thinks of Independence Day.

Located in Ballard, at Sherman Ranch, as it’s really known, you might see UFOs, Sasquatches, glowing orbs of light and ghosts. Which, of course, is all total bullsh—hang on. How many planets have we discovered that might someday support life? And how many do we know that might once have supported life? Makes you wonder if aliens do exist. If so, we have to seriously consider a few things. Will the aliens and Bigfoots and ghosts (oh, my!) openly or secretly assimilate? Should we stock up on Reese’s Pieces? Root around in the trash for parts to create anal probe-resistant chastity belts and bear repellent? See a shrink?

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In the mountains near the Beaver Dam is a pipe where scrawling on the walls alludes to satanists and witches using the location to invoke demons and cast spells. Supposedly anyone who enters the pipe and disrespects the lingering evil spirits or maligns the good name of Satan will be trapped inside as the water rises to drown them. A worker is said to have died while unclogging the pipe, but the stories never give a date or name. They do, however, mention that you’ll know when his spirit is present because the water flows in reverse.

Tons of movies have been shot in Utah, including Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989), starring Don Shanks in the title role. Last year, Shanks took City Weekly up into the Avenues neighborhood to see the house used for the Myers residence in the film. After doing an interview and reminiscing with the home’s owner, who was an extra in the film, Shanks left. I stayed behind to get night shots of the home. Although Shanks had gone home, taking his mask with him, the darkness and a remarkable stillness on that fall night made the house feel like a sentient and hungry entity. This, in spite of no actual blood being shed here.

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20 | OCTOBER 26, 2017

FRIDAY 10/27

An iconic line from the Western film The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance notes that “when the legend becomes fact, print the legend.” The American West has been mythologized for decades, but three artists on display for the exhibit The Legendary West at Modern West Fine Art take on the stories and landscapes of the region with distinctive perspectives honed over their own decades of work. As gallery manager Shalee Cooper puts it, when dealing with artists, each of whom has been creating for more than 50 years, “these are each legends themselves.” Arizona native and New Mexico resident Billy Schenck (his “Hashbidito Wash” is pictured) brings a pop art sensibility to his images of traditional Western iconography. His recent publication The Navajo Wars is an illustrated satire combining parable, allegory and myth about a war built on false premises; it inspired CNN’s Anderson Cooper to call it “the oddest book I have ever read.” Ed Mell’s career has taken him from art director of a New York advertising agency to teaching on a Hopi Indian reservation; his work has applied 1950s-style futurism to his Western landscapes, bringing sharp angles to works like the oil-on-linen painting “Desert Bloom.” Highland, Utah’s, own Gary Ernest Smith interprets Western landscape in a completely different way, employing what Cooper calls “emotional colors” to capture vistas like “Snow Canyon.” Together, these three artists present an image of the West that transcends clichés, finding their own truth in subject matter where it’s often easy to print the legend. (Scott Renshaw) The Legendary West @ Modern West Fine Art, 177 E. 200 South, 801-355-3383, through Nov. 11, modernwestfineart.com

Communication appears to be a lost art these days. Phone calls go unanswered. Messages are ignored. Emails get no reply. And while social media reaches out to cyberspace, it forsakes most individual interaction. So credit National Public Radio’s Snap Judgement for reviving that oldest form of communication: the precious art of storytelling. A successful series of weekly radio shows originating from WNYC in New York City, it finds five masters of the spoken word—Don Reed, Joyce Lee, Jen Kober, Jamie DeWolf, James Judd and the instigator of it all, host and executive producer Glynn Washington— offering a diverse selection of yarns, tales, parables and dramatic recreations that run the gamut from humor to homilies. They describe themselves as “storytelling with a beat” in promotional materials, all personal perspective backed by a band and imbued with lessons worth learning. “Snap Judgement Live invites audiences to try on someone else’s skin,” says Washington, a former activist, actor, artist, educator, musician, poet, screenwriter and self-described subversive. “It’s a raw, intimate and surprising journey. Don’t be surprised if you laugh one moment, and burst into tears the next. The interplay between the storyteller and the musicians creates an experience like no other.” Indeed, these twisted tales prove anything but predictable, ranging from spooky campfire stories and unlikely allegories to stories flush with symbolism and lessons to be learned. Some are spontaneous and others are cryptic, but each delivers a provocative premise. “We can’t wait for you to see it,” Washington beams. We daresay the feeling’s mutual. (Lee Zimmerman) Snap Judgement Live @ Eccles Theater, 131 S. Main, Oct. 27, 8 p.m., $27.50-$65, live-at-the-eccles.com

Snap Judgement Live

GUADALUPE RODRIGUEZ

Complete listings online at cityweekly.net

TEO DUCOT

COURTESY OF THE ARTIST

THURSDAY 10/26

Modern West Fine Art: The Legendary West

ENTERTAINMENT PICKS, OCT. 26-NOV. 1, 2017

ALICE CARAMEL

ESSENTIALS

the

FRIDAY 10/27

Utah Symphony: Broadway Divas When a concert advertises a performance by “divas,” that word can have a variety of meanings, from its origins in the operatic tradition to at-times negative connotations. For singer N’Kenge—co-headlining Utah Symphony’s Broadway Divas with Christina DiCicco, Christina Bianco and Kristen Plumley—it’s all about professionalism. “A diva, to me, puts 250 percent of themselves into everything they do,” N’Kenge says. “Because it has this aura around the name, you’re expecting a certain level of expertise, artistic presentation and vocal ability. A diva needs to deliver, and raise the bar.” Accompanied by Utah Symphony and conductor Jack Everly, the quartet of divas aims to raise that bar with performances of tunes ranging from Gershwin (Porgy & Bess’ “Summertime”) to Disney (Frozen’s “Let It Go”). With the songs removed from the familiar context of full productions, Everly and the singers interact with the audience to provide background for the songs, and incorporate them into musical numbers that feature choreography as well as duet and full group performances. N’Kenge herself particularly looks forward to performing Dreamgirls’ signature anthem “And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going,” partly because she never though she’d be cast for Effie’s role. And with four great singers—who are also supportive friends—there’s a chance for them to appreciate one another’s talent while seeing it as one of those bar-raising chances. “When we’re kind of watching or listening from the wings, and you hear the applause? You think, ‘OK, it’s gonna be like that? Let me get my high-C ready.’” (SR) Utah Symphony: Broadway Divas @ Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple, 801355-2787, Oct. 27-28, 7:30 p.m., $15-$83, utahsymphony.org

SATURDAY 10/28

Day of the Dead Celebration Where the purpose of Halloween night is to dress up like Game of Thrones characters and ward off evil spirits with an evening of drinking and bad judgment, Day of the Dead adopts a more traditional and reverent way to party with the undead. It’s all about taking the time to appreciate entertainment and food that our dearly departed loved ones would enjoy if they were still with us; think of it as a miraculous family gathering where no one brings up politics. This celebration with Mexican and preColumbian origins has gained all kinds of cultural notoriety—most likely because its “creepy-meets-cute” aesthetic offers a great way for Anglos of all ages to get into the holiday spirit. While many different Latin American communities commemorate Día de los Muertos annually, the Utah Cultural Celebration Center has assembled one of the biggest and most lavish events to observe this traditional occasion. The celebration itself arrives in the middle of the UCCC’s Day of the Dead-inspired art exhibition (through Nov. 3), and features traditional cuisine, folk art vendors, crafting activities and a skeleton crew (heh heh) of live musicians and entertainers. For those looking to show off their costume-design skills, a contest invites local attendees to pull off the best version of La Calavera Catrina, Day of the Dead’s cultural first lady. The event’s timing just before Halloween is a great way to kick off a weekend of mortality-tinged good times. (Alex Springer) Day of the Dead Celebration @ Utah Cultural Celebration Center, 1355 W. 3100 South, 801-965-5100, Oct. 28, 11 a.m.-6 p.m., $5 adults, children 12 and under free, www.culturalcelebration.org

Utah

Paranormal

Festival

hosted by

Nov 4, 2017 12PM — 8PM • • • • •

- Guest Speakers - Pendulum & Group Readings - Class by Laurie Nielsen - Class by Jan Housekeeper - Free Kid Face Painting & More..

Prepaid ticket for $10 - $15 at the door www.eventbrite.com

Visit the Facebook event page

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

Karen Gail Miller Conference Center 9750 South 300 West, Sandy, UT www.utahparanormalfest.wixsite.com/utahparanormalfest

| CITY WEEKLY |

OCTOBER 26, 2017 | 21

All Hallow’s Evenings

Building on last year’s debut, Fear Con emphasizes interactivity. BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net @scottrenshaw

We sell tickets!

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upcoming shows

mercury

crosscurrents

SUN, OCt. 29 6pm | salt lake acting co.

mon, OCt. 30 | peery’s egyptian theater

haley reinhart

mandolin orange

wed, nov. 1 | urban lounge

sat, nov. 4 | metro music hall

FOR MORE SHOWS & EVENTS GO TO CITYWEEKLYTIX.COM

ot all of us have a sense when we’re still in grade school for what the future holds, but Michael Hardle might have shown an indication of where he’d be today. “When I was 11 years old,” Hardle recalls, “I made my first haunted house in a field behind my house. I’ve always had a proclivity for it.” With that history in mind, it’s perhaps easy to see Hardle one day becoming a cofounder of the Halloween-themed Fear Con convention (along with former University of Utah football player and founder of the fitness convention FitCon, Dallin Rogers). That doesn’t mean there wasn’t a bit of a journey on the way to the inaugural Fear Con event in 2016. Hardle owns Fresco Press, a company that makes custom apparel, including the official gear for events like Salt Lake Comic Con. He and Rogers— who had met through Fresco Press providing FitCon’s apparel—independently had been thinking about the success of popculture-themed conventions in Utah, and the possibility for a Halloween-centric convention. “We thought about how rabid people are for Halloween in Utah,” Hardle says. “There was nothing like it in the market—or really, in the country.” As they started planning for that first Fear Con, they tried to take lessons from other conventions both in terms of what they already knew worked, and what they wanted to be different. They sought a focus on what Hardle describes as a “festival-like atmosphere,” where there’s entertainment and something to see around every corner, like fire-breathers and stilt-walkers. “We felt, like, with some shows and conventions, unless you’re there for one specific purpose, there’s not a lot to do,” he says. They approached the first event with cautious optimism about attendance, realizing how difficult it is to get people to spend their dollars on an unknown quantity. Around 13,000 guests came to the 2016 Fear Con—right down the middle of Hardle’s initial target of between 10,000 and 15,000—and response from those attendees, whether directly or online, covered a pretty broad spectrum. “We had everything from ‘it was the most fun, unique event,’” Hardle says, “to one that said, ‘It was worse than a Halloween aisle at Walgreens.’ It’s hard to please everybody.”

ASHLEY BLAKE

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22 | OCTOBER 26, 2017

A&E

SPOOKY

That’s not to say that the organizers haven’t listened to feedback, or considered tweaking the event based on last year’s experience. Hardle acknowledges that the first Fear Con “kind of shot down the middle, trying to make it not too scary or gory to scare off kids. This year, while we do have a lot of stuff for kids to do, the overall tone and ambiance we wanted to make a little darker. There will be more horror-ish elements throughout the main hall.” “We also tried [last year] to get vendors who were more related to Halloween time, and it’s kind of hard to fill an entire vendor hall with that,” Hardle adds. “That criticism was a little bit unexpected.” For 2017, Hardle plans to return many of the things that were successful last year, including the Miss Fear Con “dark take on a beauty pageant” and its new male counterpart The Pumpkin King, plus a focus on costumes and cosplays with a more horrortinged sensibility. Panel discussions are scheduled to include topics like creating your own haunted house, the works of H.P. Lovecraft, horror movies and the Victorian culture of death. Interactive elements include a zombie shooting gallery, board game demos and no-additional-charge haunted escape rooms, while the main stage will include performances of magic and hypnosis. Outside, guests can experience a “haunted zip line” into the dark. A pair of premium events—requiring separate ticketing—provide some of the most potentially unique experiences. For one interactive haunting experience,

Fire-breathers at Fear Con

participants have a bag placed over their heads and are transported to a nearby location, where they’re immersed in the world of a horror story requiring problemsolving to survive the monsters within. Another is a set of performances by The Vampire Circus, a Florida-based troupe founded by former Cirque du Soleil member Francisco Santos. The combination of theatrical acrobatics, clowns, jugglers and audience interaction incorporates a storyline set in 19th-century Bohemia, following Count Dracula’s plan for world domination. The Fear Con production marks the troupe’s first-ever in the Western United States. “What we’re really trying to get across is how many experiential things there are to do,” Hardle says. And probably with a bit more pizzazz than that haunted house he created when he was 11. CW

FEAR CON

Salt Palace Convention Center 100 S. West Temple Oct. 27-28 Noon-10 p.m. $20-$129 Individual Vampire Circus tickets, $14.95$49.95; ticket packages available fearcon.com

moreESSENTIALS

COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE AT CITYWEEKLY.NET

Artist Vincent Mattina explores juxtapositions of digital-age technology and images of the past in his exhibition of digital collages Altered States at Salt Lake City Main Library’s Lower Urban Room Gallery (210 E. 400 South, slcpl.org) through Nov. 10.

PERFORMANCE

THEATER

COMEDY & IMPROV

Marcus and Guy Seidel Wiseguys Ogden, 269 25th St., Oct. 27, 8 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com The Pump and Dump Show Wiseguys SLC, 194. S. 300 West, Oct. 25-26, 7:30 p.m., 21+, wiseguyscomedy.com Ron Funches Wiseguys SLC, 194 S. 400 West, Oct. 27-28, 7 p.m., 21+, wiseguyscomedy.com Shawn Paulsen Wiseguys Ogden, 269 25th St., Oct. 27, 8 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com

FARMERS MARKETS

FESTIVALS & FAIRS

Day of the Dead Celebration Utah Cultural Celebration Center, 1355 W. 3100 South, West Valley City, Oct. 28, 11 a.m.-6 p.m., culturalcelebration.org (see p. 20)

OCTOBER 26, 2017 | 23

9th West Farmers Market International Peace Garden, 1000 S. 900 West, through Oct. 29, Sunday, 10 a.m.-2 p.m., 9thwestfarmersmarket.org Downtown Farmers Market Pioneer Park, 350 W. 300 South, Oct. 28, 8 a.m.-2 p.m.; Oct. 31, 4 p.m.-dusk; slcfarmersmarket.org

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SPECIAL EVENTS

Ananya Dance Theatre Tanner Dance Black Box Theatre, 1721 Campus Center Drive, 801-5817100, Oct. 28, 7:30 p.m., tickets.utah.edu

Madeline Adkins and the Fry Street Quartet 1375 E. Presidents Circle, Oct. 29, 3 p.m., novaslc.org Ockeghem’s Requiem: Renaissance Music of Life and Loss Cathedral Church of St. Mark, 231 E. 100 South, Oct. 28, 8 p.m., Oct 29, 5 p.m. Rick Rea: Across the Miles Ziegfeld Theater, 3934 Washington Blvd., Ogden, Oct. 29, 6:30 p.m., theziegfeldtheater.com Utah Philharmonia Halloween: The Haunted Orchestra XVI Libby Gardner Hall, 1375 E. Presidents Circle, Oct. 26-27, 7:30 p.m., tickets.utah.edu Utah Symphony: Broadway Divas Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple, Oct. 27-28, 7:30 p.m., $15-$83, utahsymphony.org (see p. 20)

DANCE

CLASSICAL & SYMPHONY

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A Bundle of Trouble Hale Center Theatre, 3333 S. Decker Lake Drive, West Valley City, through Nov. 30, days and times vary, hct.org A Comedy of Tenors Pioneer Memorial Theatre, 300 S. 1400 East, through Nov. 4, days and times vary, pioneertheatre.org A Tale of Two Cities Center Point Legacy Theatre, 525 N. 400 West, Centerville, through Oct. 28, centerpointtheatre.org Hello Dolly Hale Center Theater Orem, 225 W. 400 North, Orem, through Nov. 18, MondaySaturday, times vary, haletheater.org Forever Dead Off Broadway Theatre, 272 S. Main, through Nov. 4, Friday-Monday, 7:30 p.m., theobt.org (see p. 8) Forever Plaid Hale Center Theatre, 9900 S. Monroe St., Sandy, through Nov. 15, MondaySaturday, times vary, hct.org Guys and Dolls Ziegfeld Theater, 3934 Washington Blvd., Ogden, through Nov. 4, times vary, theziegfeldtheater.com Love’s Labour’s Lost Studio 115, 240 S. 1500 East, through Oct. 29, times vary, tickets.utah.edu Marie Antoinette Good Company Theatre, 2402 Wall Ave., Ogden, through Oct. 29, Friday-Sunday, times vary, goodcotheatre.com Mercury Salt Lake Acting Co., 168 W. 500 North, through Nov. 12, Wednesday-Sunday, times vary, saltlakeactingcompany.org Perdida Grand Theatre, 1575 S. State, through Oct. 28, Thursday-Saturday, 7:30 p.m.; 2 p.m. Saturday matinee, grandtheatrecompany.com Shopkins Kingsbury Hall, 1395 Presidents Circle, Nov. 11, 6:30 p.m., tickets.utah.edu Wait Until Dark Heritage Theatre, 2505 S. Highway 89, Perry, through Oct. 28, 2, 7:30 p.m., heritagetheatreutah.com Wicked-er Desert Star Theatre, 4861 S. State, through Nov. 4, desertstar.biz

Odyssey Dance: Thriller Kingsbury Hall, 1395 E. President’s Circle, through Oct. 30, days and times vary, odysseydance.com

moreESSENTIALS TALKS & LECTURES

David Remnick: Press in the Age of Trump Rowland, Hall, 720 S. Guardsman Way, 801-3557485, Oct. 28, 7 p.m., rowlandhall.org (see p. 12) Snap Judgement Live Eccles Theater, 131 S. Main, 801-355-2787, Oct. 27, 8 p.m., artsaltlake.org (see p. 20)

24 | OCTOBER 26, 2017

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HALLOWEEN

MAKE-UP

MEN’S

WOMEN’S

WIGS

1147 EAST ASHTON AVE, SLC • 801.484.7996 • MON- SAT 11-9PM • SUN 1-5PM • PIBSEXCHANGE.COM

YOUR COSTUME CONNECTION COSTUMES BY DREAMGIRL & LEG AVENUE

Asylum 49 140 E. 200 South, Tooele, through Nov. 4, days and times vary, asylum49.com Boo at the Zoo Hogle Zoo, 2600 Sunnyside Ave., Oct. 28, 9 a.m.-3 p.m., hoglezoo.org BooLights! Hogle Zoo, 2600 E. Sunnyside Ave., through Oct. 27, 6:30 p.m.-9:30 p.m., hoglezoo.org Castle of Chaos 7980 S. State, Midvale, through Nov. 4, days and times vary, castleofchaos.com The Corn Maize 2801 S. 3500 West, Ogden, through Oct. 31, thecornmaize.com Fear Con Salt Palace Convention Center, 100 S. West Temple, Oct. 27-28, $14-$79, fearcon.com (see p. 22) Fear Factory 666 W. 800 South, through Nov. 4, days and times vary, fearfactoryslc.com Halloween Hoot Celebration Tracy Aviary, 589 E. 1300 South, 801-596-8500, Oct. 28-31, 1-3:30 p.m., tracyaviary.org The Haunted Forest 6000 W. 6400 North, American Fork, through Oct. 31, times vary, hauntedutah.com Haunted Hollow 150 S. 1900 West, West Haven, through Oct. 31, days and times vary, hauntedutah.com The Haunted Maize 2801 S. 3500 West, Ogden, 801-645-5392, through Oct. 31, Fridays and Saturdays, 8-11:30 p.m., thecornmaize.com Nightmare on 13th 300 W. 1300 South, through Nov. 4, days and times vary, nightmareon13th.com Pumpkin Nights Utah State Fairpark, 155 N. 1000 West, through Oct. 29, daily, 6:30-9:30 p.m., pumpkinnights.com PumpkinPalooza Family Fun Festival Legacy Events Center, 151 S. 1100 West, Farmington, Oct. 27-28, gopalooza.com Strangling Brothers Haunted Circus 632 E. 1500 South, American Fork, through Nov. 4, days and times vary, stranglingbrothers.com Trunk or Treat Grace Lutheran School, 1815 E. 9800 South, Sandy, 801-572-3793, Oct. 31, 5:307:30 p.m., free, gracesandy.org Halloween Party & Dinner Snowbasin Resort, 3925 E. Snowbasin Road, Huntsville, 801-6201000, Oct. 27, 5:30 p.m., snowbasin.com

COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE AT CITYWEEKLY.NET

Día de los Muertos Thanksgiving Point, 3003 N. Thanksgiving Way, Lehi, 801-768-2300, Oct. 28, 11 a.m.-8 p.m., thanksgivingpoint.org

VISUAL ART GALLERIES & MUSEUMS

Anastasia Dukhanina Redman Gallery, 1240 E. 2100 South, through Oct. 31, redmangallery.com Billy Schenck, Ed Mell & Gary Ernest Smith: The Legendary West Modern West Fine Art, 177 E. 200 South, through Nov. 11, modernwestfineart.com (see p. 20) Cabinet of Curiosities: Strange Objects From the Staff of the City Library Main Library Special Collections, 210 E. 400 South, through Nov. 17, slcpl.org Caryn Feeny: Two by Two Art at the Main, 210 E. 400 South, through Nov. 11, slcpl.org Cities of Conviction UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, through Jan. 6, utahmoca.org Drew Grella: I Would Rather Wear a Cape Main Library, 210 E. 400 South, 801-524-8200, through Jan. 5, slcpl.org Ilse Bing Utah Museum of Fine Arts, 410 Campus Center Drive, through Dec. 31, umfa.utah.edu Jaime Salvador Castillo & Michael Anthony Garcia: whereABOUTS UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, through Dec. 9, utahmoca.org Justin Watson: |human| Nox Contemporary Gallery, 440 S. 400 West, Ste. H, through Nov. 10, bit.ly/2jP10tU Laura Erekson Atkinson: Builders Main Library, 210 E. 400 South, through Nov. 3, slcpl.org Lexi Johnson: Second Hand Marmalade Library, 280 W. 500 North, through Nov. 10, slcpl.org Matt Kruback and Naomi Marine: prima facie Alice Gallery, 617 E. South Temple, through Nov. 10, visualarts.utah.gov Natalie Stallings: Microscopic Sovereign Main Library, 210 E. 400 South, through Nov. 3, slcpl.org Sarah Malakoff: Second Nature Granary Art Center, 86 N. Main, Ephraim, through Jan. 26, granaryartcenter.org Strangely Enough Urban Arts Gallery, 137 S. Rio Grande St., through Nov. 5, urbarnartsgallery.org Susan Jarvis and Amber Egbert: Life As I See It Art Access Gallery, 230 S. 500 West, No. 125, through Nov. 13, accessart.org Tina Vigos: Seeking Grace Day-Riverside Branch Library, 1575 W 1000 N, 801-594-8632, through Nov. 15, slcpl.org Vincent Mattina: Altered States Salt Lake City Main Library, 210 E. 400 South, 801-524-8200, through Nov. 10, slcpl.org (see p. 23)

Atypical Indian

Inside Saffron Valley’s new Sugar House location. BY TED SCHEFFLER tscheffler@cityweekly.net @critic1

Saffron Valley’s chicken tikka dosa

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OCTOBER 26, 2017 | 25

479 E. 2100 South 801-203-3754 saffronvalley.com

SAFFRON VALLEY

while perusing the menu. Forgoing more standard appetizers like pakoras, samosas or chaat, we opted to begin our evening meal with chicken tikka dosa ($9). Dosas are savory rice and lentil crêpes stuffed with almost anything imaginable. Ours—a trio of large dosas—were filled with spicy chicken tikka morsels and a fiery masala curry alongside for dipping. We wound up taking half of the dosas home as leftovers. I mentioned that the décor isn’t “typical,” either. As with owner Lavanya Mahate’s other Saffron Valley locations—one downtown and one in South Jordan—and her Biscotts Bakery & Café (also in South Jordan), the design is gorgeous, with great attention to detail. Gold and Prussian blue cloth napkins complement the matching walls in this contemporary setting. There are no images of Krishna or Ganesh, no sitar music and no incense burning—although, you can purchase incense in the market. Shrimp Karaikudi ($14.95)—named for a municipality in the Indian state of Tamil Nadu—was plump, tender shrimp in a thin-ish (compared to standard curry) but delicious sauce made with roasted fennel, dried red chile peppers, cumin and curry spices. I only mention the consistency of the sauce because we tend to associate Indian food with thicker, gravy-type curries. Again, this dish isn’t one you’ll find on standard Indian restaurant menus. Neither is laal maas ($14.95). Ranking right up there with some of the best curries I’ve eaten anywhere, this is a hot-and-spicy lamb curry from the Rajasthan region of India. According to Mahate, “It was a dish created for the royals of the region using wild game meat such as boar or deer. Hot spices and garlic were used to mask the gaminess of the meat. Over the decades, it has become a popular dish made with mutton or goat meat, which is less gamy. We at Saffron Valley make it with New Zealand Lamb.” Indeed, the lamb—and there’s lots of it—is oh-so tender, braised with Kashmiri chilies, ginger, garlic, bay leaf, cloves, cinnamon, star anise, onions and tomatoes. It’s a killer curry. Simply put, Saffron Valley is as atypical as it is superb. CW

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

lthough we must find some language for talking about the foods we eat, I’m always a little hesitant to use such expansive labels like Chinese cuisine, Mexican food, Middle Eastern cooking and the like. For example, this column addresses a new Indian restaurant: Saffron Valley in Sugar House. But what does “Indian food” really mean? India encompasses a rich, 5,000-plusyear-old culinary history with thousands of regional dishes, a current population of 1.2 billion, 30 or so different regional cuisines and hundreds of cooking techniques. So, to talk about “typical” Indian fare is a fool’s errand. Then again, Saffron Valley is anything but typical. There’s a sameness among many local Indian eateries that makes them look like carbon copies—for those of you old enough to remember typewriters—of one another. Menus, décor, lunch buffets and even the music all tend to be very similar from one restaurant to the next, as is the food. But Saffron Valley—which is a restaurant, market and chai bar—sets itself apart by serving a thali lunch, as well as unique signature curries and other dishes from every part of India. Since Layton’s Taste of India changed hands a while back, I’ve yet to find another local restaurant offering thali-style dining. But that’s the Saffron Valley M.O. at lunchtime, when customers are treated to traditional multi-dish thali platters of roti (leavened flat bread), papadum, basmati rice, simmered lentils (dal), kulfi or gulab jamun for dessert, chutney and various curries and veggie choices that vary from day to day—all priced at a reasonable $10.99. During dinner service, guests are given a bowl of papadum chips with mint and tamarind chutneys alongside to nibble

TED SCHEFFLER

DINE

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26 | OCTOBER 26, 2017

FOOD MATTERS BY SCOTT RENSHAW @scottrenshaw

The Ridge

Halloween at The Ridge

If you haven’t confirmed your grown-up Halloween weekend plans yet, consider supplementing your costume-wearing fun with a little fine dining. Draper’s The Ridge (14886 Traverse Road, 801-5718000, ridgecafe.com) offers a five-course dinner on Saturday, Oct. 28, from 6:3010:30 p.m. In addition to your meal— which features fall squash crostini, pumpkin chipotle soup, braised ribs and bourbon chocolate pecan pie—scheduled entertainment includes live music, tarot readings and a costume contest. Cost is $60 per person, which includes craft cocktails and wine pairings. Visit bit.ly/2goPjpb for reservations.

2991 E. 3300 S. | 385.528.0181

Celebrate Chocolate

Just as your stash of Halloween candy is about to run out, Tony Caputo’s Market & Deli (314 W. 300 South, 801-531-8669) presents a night chocolate fiends will find impossible to resist. Caputo’s sixth annual Chocolate Festival on Wednesday, Nov. 8, at 7 p.m. is a one-night-only event in which an all-star lineup of local chefs creates original recipes to highlight a featured artisan chocolate—in this case, Lithuania-based Naïve Chocolate. Both sweet and savory dishes are on the menu from chefs including Alicia Pacheco (The Rose Establishment), Courtney McDowell (Pallet Bistro) and Seth Adams & Mark Peterson (Park City’s Riverhorse on Main). Space is limited, and reservations are required at caputos.com. Tickets are $60 per person with drink pairings, $40 without, and proceeds benefit the Heirloom Cacao Preservation Initiative.

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MAKE YOUR RESERVATIONS

Rawtopia, New and Improved

Longtime fans of Omar’s Rawtopia likely already know that the chef moved his restaurant—with its focus on Mediterraneaninfluenced local, organic, gluten-free and mostly raw menu items—from its original Sugar House location in late August. The newly re-named Rawtopia Living Cuisine and Beyond (rawtopia.com) can be found at 3961 Wasatch Blvd. in Millcreek, in a larger space with amazing views. Try out one of Omar’s dishes where he unironically includes “love” as an ingredient in his recipes.

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Japanese Cuisine

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Haunting

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28 | OCTOBER 26, 2017

Witch Story

Our image of hags with pointy hats has a brewing connection. BY MIKE RIEDEL comments@cityweekly.net @utahbeer

s the weekend approaches, you might plan to head out to all kinds of Halloween parties. The odds are good that you’ll encounter the stereotypical witch. You all know her, because she’s been ingrained in our minds since we were tiny ankle-biters: a hag armed with a broom, a cat and, of course, that tall, pointed black hat. But did you know that this image was carefully twisted by the medieval Catholic church to sway people away from the independent brewers of beer in favor of the church’s monastic-made beers? In the Dark Ages, brewing was considered women’s work. Back then, beer was not the luxury beverage we enjoy now; it was a necessity. It significantly stretched the household’s grain stores, and its inherent antiseptic nature made bacteriarich water drinkable. If the beer was par-

ticularly good, the free market would push it into the streets, where the lady brewers sold their grain-based elixirs to taverns, merchants or whomever had the coin. To differentiate themselves from the other non-beer merchants, these female brewers wore tall black pointed hats that stuck out (and up) in the crowds of the marketplaces, identifying themselves as beer sellers. Another more obvious way of attracting their largely illiterate clientele to the beer cart was the broom. In addition to their obvious cleaning function, brooms were a symbol of domestic trade. They were often placed front of a home or tavern. Finally, our third witch-y image: A cat was kept around the beer simply to steer away rats and other rodents. As is true now, beer was big business then, and the Catholic Church wanted its piece of the action—and by “piece,” I mean all. The church controlled nearly all aspects of life back then, and was keen to increase its coffers in this lucrative business. The church persuaded European society that these women were inclined toward evil, witchcraft and devil-worship. Ogden’s Talisman Brewing Co. honors these “ladies in brew” with a special seasonal beer called—you guessed it— Witches Brew. This beer has a pale goldenyellow color that’s capped with a finger of

MIKE RIEDEL

BEER NERD

splotchy, sudsy foam. The aroma hits quick with grainy and crackery malt, along with some citrus rind, vague berries and herbal nutmeg. The flavors start off with toasted bread and hints of cereal. Spicy orange peel with a bit of grapefruit pop up next, hiding a bit of sweet citrus flesh that seems to be enhanced by the malts. Next, you’ll find a kind of tenuous juniper-like berry fruitiness that seems to be duking it out with a dose of allspice. The end of the swig rounds out with some spicy yeastiness, along with easy-going, leafy/floral verdant hop bitters.

Overall: The whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Due to the crazy adjunct ingredients that accompany this ale’s base, I kept looking for a reason to smack it down for lacking cohesion, all the while oblivious to the fact that it was kicking ass on all cylinders. It’s quite the Witches Brew. So remember, when Halloween rears its head and you see all of those little witches—er, brewers—scurrying about begging for candy, snag a Talisman Witches Brew and pay homage to those women of long ago, who really got a raw deal from history just for making beer. As always, cheers! CW

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FILM REVIEW

Humdrum Acre Wood

Goodbye Christopher Robin is just the latest in a long line of similar biopics.

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FOX SEARCHLIGHT PICTURES

BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net @scottrenshaw

O B O R Y N I H S G BI

News from the geeks. what’s new in comics, games, movies and beyond.

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30 | OCTOBER 26, 2017

CINEMA

f you so desired, you could program an entire film festival out of biopics about British authors of beloved children’s stories, and how they were really quite unhappy. Dating back to 1993’s C.S. Lewis tale Shadowlands, these movies now seem to pop up every few years or so to remind us that what they put forward as terribly ironic—so sad, yet so good at fanciful fictions!— has now become a cliché. Peter Pan’s J.M. Barrie? You’ve got Finding Neverland. Peter Rabbit’s Beatrix Potter? May we introduce you to Miss Potter. Mary Poppins’ P.L. Travers? Saving Mr. Banks will see you now. Thus along comes Goodbye Christopher Robin to assure us all that A.A. Milne— creator of Winnie the Pooh, Eeyore and friends—was little different in this respect. Whatever distinctive flourishes might be included, there’s a sameness to the structure that makes it hard not to feel like this is more or less a fifth verse, same as the first. It starts with a bit of narrative bounce in its step, as director Simon Curtis (the 2015 art-house hit Woman in Gold) opens with a brief prologue set in 1941 before flashing back to 1916, where Alan “A.A.” Milne (Domhnall Gleeson) is returned to England and his life as a successful playwright and humorist, and to his wife Daphne (Margot Robbie), after service in World War I that left him facing occasional bouts of PTSD. That unsettled sense of time and place disappears once Daphne gives birth to their son, Christopher Robin, and the script begins to focus on how Alan and Daphne are complete crap as parents, essentially surrendering his care—perhaps in the style of the time— to his nanny, Olive (Kelly Macdonald). The pivot point in the story comes during a stretch when a frustrated Daphne departs from their rural Sussex home to stay in

London, and Olive attends to her ill mother, leaving Alan in the unfamiliar position of primary caregiver to a now 7-ish-yearold Christopher Robin (played by dimpled cherub Will Tilston), whom they call Billy. Their adventures with Billy’s beloved stuffed animals in nearby Ashdown Forest form the basis for the Pooh stories, and Curtis has cinematographer Ben Smithard shoot these scenes in sunlight so dappled it seems painted into the frame. Gleeson is solid at capturing Alan’s slow thaw into a man who can finally connect with his own son, though he’s constrained by a script that betrays a sense of obligation to run down a checklist of items: There they are at the zoo seeing the bear called Winnie! There they are inventing Poohsticks! The most interesting and unexpected chunk of the film follows, however, once the Pooh books become hugely popular, and turn the “Christopher Robin” who inspired them into a reluctant celebrity as his parents trot him out for various promotional events and photo ops. For a while, we get the story mostly from the point of view of young Billy, befuddled by his fame though precociously good at playing the part, even as he tries to separate himself from the fictional character who doesn’t even share the name by which he knows himself. The script by Frank Cottrell Boyce and Simon Vaughan also makes the bold choice not to water down the suggestion that Alan and Daphne effectively turn their own child into a marketing prop, though that subtext

Domhnall Gleeson and Will Tilston in Goodbye Christopher Robin

is unfortunately literalized when an angry Olive speaks her mind to her oblivious employers. That same unwillingness to let thematic ideas remain unspoken carries over as the third act focuses on 18-year-old Billy (Alex Lawther) trying to emerge from the shadow of his connection to a perpetually 7-yearold character. Curtis dispenses with Billy’s years tormented by classmates in boarding schools with an efficient montage, but it’s a missed opportunity to once again allow the story to really be about his experience, which he then needs to explain to his father in declarative dialogue. Goodbye Christopher Robin keeps circling back around to being about A.A. Milne—while still shortchanging his psychological traumas—saying goodbye to its opportunity to carve out a unique place by being about Billy. It’s just another sad British children’s-author tale, to hold a space until the one about Roald Dahl arrives next year. And that’s not even a joke. CW

GOODBYE CHRISTOPHER ROBIN

BB.5 Domhnall Gleeson Margot Robbie Kelly Macdonald PG-13

TRY THESE

exclusively on cityweekly.net

Finding Neverland (2004) Johnny Depp Kate Winslet PG

Miss Potter (2006) Reneé Zellweger Ewan McGregor PG

Saving Mr. Banks (2013) Emma Thompson Tom Hanks PG-13

Woman in Gold (2015) Helen Mirren Ryan Reynolds PG-13

CINEMA CLIPS

MOVIE TIMES AND LOCATIONS AT CITYWEEKLY.NET

NEW THIS WEEK

Information is correct at press time. Film release schedules are subject to change. ALL I SEE IS YOU [not yet reviewed] A blind woman (Blake Lively) discovers uncomfortable truths after regaining her sight. Opens Oct. 27 at theaters valleywide. (R) GOODBYE CHRISTOPHER ROBIN BB.5 See review on p. 30. Opens Oct. 27 at theaters valleywide. (PG) JIGSAW [not yet reviewed] A series of grisly deaths points to the return of the killer from the Saw movies. Opens Oct. 27 at theaters valleywide. (R) LET THERE BE LIGHT [not yet reviewed] A near-death experience sets an atheist (Kevin Sorbo) on a path toward faith. Opens Oct. 27 at theaters valleywide. (PG-13)

SPECIAL SCREENINGS HALLOWEEN (1978) At Tower Theatre, Oct. 27-28 & Oct. 31, 4:15 p.m.; Oct. 29-30 & Nov. 1-3, 7 p.m. & 9 p.m. (R) MARJORIE PRIME At Park City Film Series, Oct. 27-28, 8 p.m.; Oct. 29, 6 p.m. (PG-13) PSYCHO (1960) At Tower Theatre, Oct. 27-28 & Nov. 1, 2 p.m.; Oct. 29-31 & Nov. 2, 2 p.m. & 4:15 p.m. (NR) THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW At Tower Theatre, Oct. 27-28 & Oct. 31, 7 p.m. & 11:30 p.m.; Oct. 29, noon. (R)

CURRENT RELEASES

THE FLORIDA PROJECT BBB.5 Set on the periphery of Orlando’s theme parks, Sean Baker’s sophomore feature is a messy movie full of messy, apparently borderline-irredeemable people. The focus is on Moonee (Brooklynn Prince), a 6-year-old living with her unemployed single mother, Halley (Bria Vinaite), at a by-the-week Orlando motel, spending summer running mostly unsupervised with other local kids. Baker doesn’t soft-pedal the near-feral nature of his young characters, nor does he make most of the adults surrounding them particularly sympathetic—except motel manager Bobby (a wonderful Willem Dafoe), who becomes surrogate father-figure to kids and adults alike. The story mostly belongs to the children, though, with Prince’s Moonee as a magnetic center, conveying the next generation in a cycle that kills up-by-thebootstraps mythology. She’s a reminder that there’s a certain kind of childhood innocence that just isn’t in the cards for many American kids. (R)—SR ONLY THE BRAVE BBB It might be nominally about firefighters—specifically, the factbased story of Arizona’s Granite Mountain Hotshots—but structurally, it’s a war movie. The narrative focuses on superintendent Eric Marsh’s (Josh Brolin) efforts to have his municipal crew certified for elite “hotshots” status, as well as a new recruit and recovering addict (Miles Teller) trying to turn his life around. Director Joseph Kosinski and his screenwriters build the story around the same kind of scenes you’d expect in a military drama: homefront family strife; a montage of basic training, and esprit de corps moments between the men; and dialogue that, once uttered, makes it clear that a character is doomed. It’s sturdy stuff, elevated by Brolin’s intense performance and the harrowing sequences portraying that work. The formula beats are delivered with satisfying accuracy, even if it’s more of a monument than a movie. (PG-13)—SR

BREATHE BBB It’s shaped as a romance, but it’s really an adventure story about a man who refused to let disability stop him living. Robin Cavendish (Andrew Garfield) is 28 years old in 1958 when polio leaves him paralyzed and dependent on a respirator—but instead of accepting lifetime confinement in a hospital, his wife, Diana (Claire Foy) and an inventor friend (Hugh Bonneville) work on ways to bring him home and allow him mobility, facilitating advocacy work for disabled people. Based on the lives of the parents of producer Jonathan Cavendish—filmmaking partner of actor Andy Serkis, making his feature directing debut—this is a slightly madcap tale full of life-and-death peril, but also

an unexpected amount of cheerful good humor about creating an accessible world that is necessary for a human spirit looking to triumph after it takes a beating. (PG-13)—MaryAnn Johanson

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

LOVING VINCENT BB.5 There came a moment in Dorota Kobiela and Hugh Welchman’s animated feature when I realized I wasn’t following what was going on, since I was so busy paying attention to the pretty pictures. That, of course, is the gimmick here: Every frame of this story, about Frenchman Armand Roulin (Douglas Booth) trying to deliver a final letter from the recently deceased Vincent Van Gogh (Robert Gulaczyk) in 1891, finds the performances of live-action actors and their backgrounds illustrated with oil paints, rotoscope-style. It’s a fascinating experiment, rendering everything with almost tactile brushstrokes evoking the style of the movie’s subject. Yet it also tends to swallow up everything around it, so that the actual narrative—mostly a kind of detective story as Armand explores the controversial circumstances surrounding Van Gogh’s death—becomes an afterthought. Armand evolves into little more than a blank audience surrogate, while the terrific supporting cast—including Saoirse Ronan, Bill Thomas and Helen McCrory—is buried beneath a visual approach that seems most interested in their characters when they’re posed to evoke the Van Gogh paintings that immortalized them. Opens Oct. 27 at Broadway Centre Cinemas. (PG-13)—Scott Renshaw

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE [not yet reviewed] Fact-based story of Iraq War veterans struggling to re-adjust to civilian life. Opens Oct. 27 at theaters valleywide. (R)

SUBURBICON [not yet reviewed] The life of a suburban husband (Matt Damon) is upended by a home invasion. Opens Oct. 27 at theaters valleywide. (R)

wednesday BLADE RUNNER 2049

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opening

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FILM • FOOD • NEIGHBORHOOD BAR SHOWING: OCTOBER 27TH - NOVEMBER 2ND

more than just movies at brewvies

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2 | OCTOBER 26, 2017

TRUE BY B I L L F RO S T @bill_frost

Downside Up

Stranger Things and Blindspot return; try Black Sabbath and RiffTrax for Halloween.

ook, I liked the first go-round of Stranger Things (Season 2 premiere Friday, Oct. 27, Netflix) just fine, like Panda Express takeout: filling, not quite dog food, coulda been worse. But then you people whipped up a breathless hype frenzy like it was The Greatest TV Show of All Time and things just got ’80s-romanticizing stoopider from there. And Barb? She dead; get over it. Season 2 of Stranger Things picks up a year later, Halloween 1984, with Eleven (Millie Bobby Brown) returning from The Upside Down to help the gang take on a new crop of weirdness in the town of Hawkins, and Joyce (Winona Ryder) as cray as ever (hey, if it ain’t broke). There’s also the Reagan/Bush re-election campaign to deal with—boo! What an ambitious year 2015 was for broadcast network dramas—successful, not so much. Scream Queens, Limitless, Blood & Oil, Heroes Reborn, The Player, Wicked City, Rosewood, Minority Report, all dust in the wind. Quantico is (sort of) still alive, as is Blindspot (Season 3 premiere, Friday, Oct. 27, NBC), the crime-conspiracy thriller that went from “The next Blacklist!” to Friday-night filler in two seasons. There are still mysteries to be solved in Jane’s (Jaimie Alexander) tattoos, but first she has to face her vengeancebent bent brother Roman (Luke Mitchell) and rescue her former FBI team from his clutches (which really raises questions about said team’s competency). So, Blindspot … still on. Saturday Night Live was a groundbreaking, counterculture oddity in the ’70s; today, it’s a meme generator. Tom Hanks’ “David S. Pumpkins” appeared twice on SNL in 2016, which has somehow led to The David S. Pumpkins Halloween Special (Saturday, Oct. 28, NBC) being a thing. But not much of a thing: It’s just a half-hour, barely-animated special featuring the voices of Hanks and ex-SNLer Bobby Moynihan, as well as Peter Dinklage(!), wherein nonsensical character Pumpkins shows kiddies “the true meaning of Halloween”(?). The David S. Pumpkins Halloween Special is just another pointless, cynical SNL cashgrab that should make Lorne Michaels roll over in his grave. Some of us were lucky enough to see Ozzy & Co. on their final tour last year; for the rest of you, there’s Black Sabbath: The End of the End (documentary, Saturday, Oct. 28, Showtime), the concert film capturing the finale of the

influential metal band’s 49-year run. Ozzy Osbourne, Tony Iommi and Geezer Butler put on a hell (ha!) of a show for being 60-something vampires, backed by a younger Bill Ward sit-in drummer who literally looked like Jesus and an inaudible off-stage keyboardist/guitarist whom I’m assuming collected an equal paycheck. With the exception of anything from 1978’s underrated Never Say Die! album, The End of the End features every classic Sabbath song. Play it loud. So far, not a lot of scary Halloween recommendations, right? Might I suggest a few selections from Riff Trax (streaming, Amazon Prime), the guys who spun-off Mystery Science Theater 3000 (Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett and Kevin Murphy) into something completely … well, the same. They still hilariously mock terrible movies, and there are a handful of their horror offerings available on Amazon Prime, like When a Stranger Calls Back, The Last Slumber Party, Frankenstein Island, House on Haunted Hill, The Revenge of Doctor X and the incomparably awful Rock ’n’ Roll Nightmare (seriously—I challenge you to make it

Stranger Things (Netflix)

through that one). Or just keep bingeing Stranger Things. Why is Stan Against Evil (Season 2 premiere, Wednesday, Nov. 1, IFC) returning the day after Halloween? And, while we’re at it, why isn’t Starz’ Ash vs. Evil Dead coming back until February 2018? You B-level cable outlets are killin’ me. Anyway: Stan Against Evil, a thinly veiled ripoff of/homage to Ash vs. Evil Dead that will do for now, I suppose, remains a reliably goofy/scary vehicle for comedy vet John C. McGinley to rage-shrug as the former sheriff of a demon-plagued town built on the site of a 17th-century witch burning (you know, like Daybreak). This time, he’s begrudgingly trying to save his replacement sheriff (Janet Varney), who’s trapped in another time (February 2018? Take me!). CW Listen to Frost Mondays at 8 a.m. on X96 Radio From Hell, and on the TV Tan podcast via Stitcher, iTunes, Google Play and billfrost.tv.

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CONCERT PREVIEW

¡Jukebox Tenebroso!

MUSIC

A Halloween playlist from south of the border—with one local track. BY RANDY HARWARD rharward@cityweekly.net

TERRÍCOLAS IMBÉCILES

De Nalgas

| CITY WEEKLY |

a hallucination, rising from the murk to dance until dawn while singer Jessy Bulbo and bandmates cheer him on: “Baila monstruo/ baila monstruo/ baila monstruo!” Telekrimen: “Extraños Hipnóticos” from Resurrection of the Blood Zombies from Beyond! (Grabaxiones Alicia/ Industrias WIO, 2008). Hey, how about an all-instrumental jam about “Hypnotic Strangers,” where the wailing organ turns your eyes into monochromatic spirals and your mind to Silly Putty? Café Tacuba: “Maria” from Café Tacuba (Warner Music Mexico, 1992). This spooky lounge number by Mexico’s beloved alt-rockers is based on the Mexican folktale of La Llorona (The Crying Woman). Urban legend has it that she lost her children in a river and can be seen looking for them at night—woe to any witnesses. La Calavera: “No Quiero Ser Olvido” from Anecdotas (reverbnation.com/lacalavera801, 2016). These local locos deliver a brooding loud-quiet-loud number about the afterlife, and not wanting to be forgotten. Frontguy Antonio Garcia says, “It’s about when you die and your soul leaves your body and begins the journey to get to whatever it is after life and all the thoughts you may have on the way there.” Los Desenchufados: “Del Infierno” from Zombies (Intolerancia, 2014). Kneeling at the altar of The Cramps, this band nails their creepy garage punk/psychobilly stomp—and almost the aesthetic, with a foxy redhead out front—only she plays bass instead of guitar. The song’s about starring in a snuff film. Brujería: “Matando Güeros” from Matando Güeros (Roadrunner, 1993). This Cookie Monster death metal tune is probably the scariest song of the bunch, from an ostensible group of masked drug lords. The band name means “witchcraft,” the song is about “Killing White People” and the cover art is a photo of a real severed head of a cartel victim dangling from someone’s hand. Plot twist: At least half of Brujería’s 22 current and former members are güeros using pseudonyms—including, in the early days, Dead Kennedys vocalist Jello Biafra (as Pito Wilson). ¡Jaaaaaaa-jajajajaja! CW

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

BRUJERÍA, POWERFLO, PIÑATA PROTEST, DEZECRATION

Thursday, Oct. 26, 7 p.m. Metro Music Hall 615 W. 100 South 385-528-0952 $20 presale; $25 day of show 21+ metromusichall.com

OCTOBER 26, 2017 | 33

ur country is a melting pot—but isn’t it more a stew of cultures than races? Every Halloween, more Americans go crazy for sugar skulls, the main symbol of the Mexican Día de los Muertos, honoring the dead. Since its earliest pre-Columbian incarnations millennia ago, the holiday has spread to nearly every continent. It’s neither invasion nor appropriation; it’s just a fact of history. As we ventured out and discovered new lands, we left ideas and traditions with the people we visited, who reciprocated. Granted, it isn’t peaceful and it often led to tragedy in the form of war and the eradication of some cultures—and entire races of people. But as we strive to banish ignorance and crush hate, let’s learn from one another by embracing and sharing our cultural colors. In that spirit, this year’s Spooky Juke playlist is dedicated to Mexico. De Nalgas: “Vulgar Dulce Hogar” and “Vergaviota” from Vulgar Dulce Hogar (Terrícolas Imbéciles, 2016). These two political punk anthems confront real-life monsters—the politicians who crush our dreams with their greed and lies. “Vulgar Dulce Hogar” plays on “home sweet home” lamenting, in its irresistible chorus, how one’s country is no longer recognizable. “Vergaviota” is a portmanteau of the Spanish words for “dick” and “seagull,” and complains in another sing-along chorus, “¡Yo no voté por ese güey!/ ¡Yo no voté por un idiota!/ ¡Yo no voté por ese güey!/ ¿Mi presidente?/ ¡Mis pelotas!” That means, “I didn’t vote for that dude!/ I didn’t vote for an idiot!/ My president? My balls!” Los Frankys: “Vacaciones del Terror” from El Terror (Intolerancia Música S. de R.L. de C.V., 2016). A classic garage rocker, the organ and guitar have you doing the monkey (¡el mono!) before the first lyric is uttered. In the tune, the “Pedrito” secretly watches a family arrive at a haunted inn, hoping for a glimpse of the life he knew before they, like him, discover they can check out any time they like, but never leave. Los Esquizitos: “¡Pum-Pum, Bang-Bang!” from Escúchese Bien Fuerte (AMFM Records/Opcion Sonica USA, 2014). From the first measure of talky vox, rumbling bass and reverby guitar in this surf-punk jam, this 15-year-old band outs themselves as Mexico’s version of San Diego’s Deadbolt, the self-proclaimed “scariest band in the world.” The lyrics, however, are more serious—a firstperson account of a hitman who’s depressed by his work. Duty bound, he pulls the trigger, then drowns his pain in booze. Eddie y los Grasosos: “Lobo Hambriento” from Oh! Mi Nena (Eddie y los Grasosos, 2010). This chooglin’ rockabilly ditty is about a hungry werewolf, who might, in fact, be hungry in the abstract. That is, these fangs might be phallic, and our hairy hero could be lookin’ for a piece, a meal or a little of both. Oooooow-ooooooo! Yucatán a Go-Go: “Abuela Zombie” from Canciones Basura (Fonarte Latino, S.A. de C.V., 2004). This power-pop/psych band presents a frightening concept: What could be scarier than idea of a granny who ceases to ensure you’re well fed and decides to feed on you? Well, she could be a go-go zombie, undulating in a way that’d be disturbing even if her limbs weren’t flying off. Las Ultrasónicas: “Monstruo Verde” from Yo Fui una Adolescente Terrosatánica (Munster Records, 1999). This surf rock band reimagines the Creature from the Black Lagoon as

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

LIVE

BY RANDY HARWARD, BRIAN STAKER & ALEX SPRINGER

FRIDAY-SATURDAY 10/27-28

When you consider the fact that the Great Saltair is actually a thrice-reanimated corpse, it makes sense that it’s the venue for Salt Lake’s 13th annual Get Freaky Festival. Organized by Utah’s own EDM saints V2 Presents, the two-night rave promises things that go thump in the night. Headlining Friday night is L.A. musical experimentalist Jauz, best known for his ability to push the boundaries of what a DJ set can be. On Saturday night, the main attraction is Canadian dubstep cultist Excision. Supporting these two electronic heavy hitters, Get Freaky has assembled a tasting menu of the finest purveyors of trap, house and future bass in the country. Black Tiger Sex Machine, Brillz, Kayzo and Virtual Riot are only a few of the artists bringing their own kind of freaky to this locally organized festival. (Alex Springer) The Great Saltair, 12408 W. Saltair Drive, 7 p.m., $55-$150 ($5 parking), 18+, thesaltair.com

SATURDAY 10/28 Johnny Vatos’ Oingo Boingo Dance Party

Since Danny Elfman’s hearing problems keep him from performing live, it’s not likely that we’ll ever see a full-on reunion of Oingo Boingo. It’s a shame, since they’re one of the most creative and original rock bands the world has seen. The music, however, lives on via iconic drummer Johnny Vatos Hernandez— whom you might also recognize from Tito and Tarantula, the Titty Twister’s house

Johnny Vatos’ Oingo Boingo Dance Party

MIGUEL MENDOZA

Get Freaky 2017, feat. Jauz, Excision, Brillz, Black Tiger Sex Machine, Kayzo, Virtual Riot and more

band in Robert Rodriguez’ From Dusk Till Dawn—and an 11-person band that features fellow classic-era and longtime members like saxophonist Sam “Sluggo” Phipps, bassist John Avila, keyboardist Carl Graves and guitarist Steve Bartek, along with some new faces. The most noteworthy noob is vocalist Brendan McCreary, who sings his ass off (think Freddie Mercury) in his killer band Young Beautiful in a Hurry. In Boingo, he sounds enough like Elfman and exudes a similar dorky coolness that, along with the band’s bouncy, whip-smart songs and virtuosic playing, made the group so appealing in its heyday. The sets average 19-22 tunes, ensuring that this show will be a party in every sense of the word. (Randy Harward) Liquid Joe’s, 1249 E. 3300 South, 6:30 p.m., $25 presale; $30 day of show, 21+, liquidjoes.net

MONDAY 10/30 Ministry, Death Grips

Oct. 30 isn’t quite Halloween, but it’s close enough to party with Al Jourgensen and company. A Mind Is a Terrible Thing to

Get Freaky Taste (Sire/Warner, 1989) has to be one of the most revolting album titles ever, and Jourgensen’s sinister yet ridiculous stage persona could inspire some scarifying costumes. The album Psalm 69 (Warner Bros, 1992) found their industrial grindhouse melding into the gritty, grungy ’90s, including the MTV staple “Jesus Built My Hotrod” with the Butthole Surfers’ Gibby Haynes. The band showed their political acumen with the song “N.W.O.” (New World Order), sampling the utterance from then President George H.W. Bush. So it’s with equal expectations that their next album, AmeriKKKant, due next year, is awaited. If the current political situation doesn’t scare you, I don’t know what would. Not-quite Halloween isn’t complete without a little Death Grips—the hardcore hip-hop band, that is. (Brian Staker) The Complex, 536 W. 100 South, 7:30 p.m., $35 presale; $40 day of show, all ages, thecomplexslc.com

Ministry

EDIFORTINI VIA WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

ROB JUAREZ

34 | OCTOBER 26, 2017

| CITY WEEKLY |

THIS WEEK’S MUSIC PICKS

COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE AT CITYWEEKLY.NET

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

| CITY WEEKLY |

OCTOBER 26, 2017 | 35

HIGHLANDnd live music Horror on Highland Drive ZOMBIECOCK/BAT SHIT SWAYZE PROFESSIONAL PHOTOGRAPHER

MAD MAX MONEY MACHINE

$1 TACOS, FOLLOWED BY KARAOKE

THURS OCT 31

BREAKING BINGO AT THE SUE AT 8PM $1,350 POT

TUESDAY 10/31

Industry Halloween

For those who are looking for something truly unusual in a Halloween concert, look no further than this show by astro-funk duo The Floozies. They look like a pair of suntanned beach bums, but once they take the stage, all bets are off. What starts with an innocent exploration of traditional funk territory quickly evolves into a tripped-out laser-light show that grabs you by the collar of your floral button-down, looks you straight in the eyes and asks if you are prepared to meet your Lord and Savior. Joining these apostles of funk for this leg of their tour is Vancouver-based funk/hip-hop duo The Funk Hunters and solo electronic adventurer Maddy O’Neal. If you’re looking to ditch the spooks and skanks that haunt the club scene on All Hallows’ Eve, but are still in search of a transformative mind-body experience, this consciousnessexpanding lineup is just what you need. (AS) Metro Music Hall, 615 W. 100 South, 8 p.m., $17 presale; $20 day of show, 21+, metromusichall.com

GEEKS WHO DRINK FOLLOWED BY SAMEYEAM

11 4K HD TVS, PAC-12 NETWORK, NFL SUNDAY TICKET

3928 HIGHLAND DR 801-274-5578

FACEBOOK.COM/ABARNAMEDSUE

STATE live music

2014

LIVE EDITS LAB

$2 MIMOSAS NEW BRUNCH MENU SMOKED PULLED PORK SAMMIES, POKER DURING THE NIGHT GAME, ALL GAMES TELEVISED

MNF

2013

LIVE

THE MEN IN BLACK

SUN FUN

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

FRI

Helloween Bash

SAT

8136 horror show

WITH DOTTIE’S DAMES PINUPS BENEFIT FOR CANCER WITH JAIL CITY ROCKERS PROFESSIONAL PHOTOGRAPHER MUSIC BY DJ BAD HAIR DAY

SUN FUN

$2 MIMOSAS NEW BRUNCH MENU

MNF WED

$1 TACOS, SQUARES BOARD, GIVE AWAYS

FOOTBALL IS FOLLOWED BY KARAOKE, ALL GAMES TELEVISED

The Floozies, The Funk Hunters, Maddy O’Neal

Pixie and the Partygrass Boys

The Floozies

Pixie and the Partygrass Boys’ Halloween Show

With all the options this eerie evening, why choose to see an act with the suffix “-grass” in their name? Singer/ukelele-ist Katia “Pixie” Racine heads up an ensemble steeped in various musical traditions, with the common denominator of fun. This local band’s name and self-described genre implies guilt-free enjoyment, without the weighty gospel overtones of traditional bluegrass. In addition to a repertoire of originals—including “Partygrass Anthem” from their latest album released in June—they do a partygrass rendition of Talking Heads’ “Psycho Killer,” which should count for something on fright night. Not to mention the band and bar staff will be in costume. If that’s not enough to get you here, note that the venue is across the street from the Old Mill—a Cottonwood Heights landmark with many stories of hauntings over the years—so there might be witchery afoot. (BS) Hog Wallow Pub, 3200 E. Big Cottonwood Canyon Road, 9 p.m., $7, 21+, thehogwallow.com

BREAKING BINGO AT THE SUE AT 8PM $950 POT

9 60” 4K HD TVS, 2 GIANT HD PROJECTORS, PAC-12 NETWORK, NFL SUNDAY TICKET

8136 SO. STATE ST 801-566-3222

FACEBOOK.COM/ABARNAMEDSUESTATE

EAT AT SUE’S! YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD BAR · FREE GAME ROOM, AS ALWAYS!

OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK

VISIT US AT: ABARNAMEDSUE.NET

11AM-1AM

FACEBOOK.COM/ABARNAMEDSUE

FACEBOOK.COM/ABARNAMEDSUESTATE

ALYSSA RISLEY

v 3 a t High l

FRI SAT

| CITY WEEKLY |

36 | OCTOBER 26, 2017

9th A nnua l Powd Pray for er No

ON EAS S L BAL E! FOOT IS HER DAY TICKET FL SUN S N K R O ION ETW PAC-12 N NF - BOTH LOCAT M

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| CITY WEEKLY |

OCTOBER 26, 2017 | 37

THURSDAY-SATURDAY 10/26-28

CONCERTS & CLUBS

38 | OCTOBER 26, 2017

| CITY WEEKLY |

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

SPIRITS . FOOD . MUSIC

LIVE MUSIC 11.1 11.2 11.3 11.4 11.6 11.8 11.9 11.10 11.11

GROOVEMENT CADE MOWER SCOUNDRELS TRIGGERS & SLIPS OPEN BLUES JAM MICHELLE MOONSHINE MORGAN SNOW TONY HOLIDAY & THE VELVETONES RAGE AGAINST THE SUPREMES

3200 E BIG COTTONWOOD ROAD 801.733.5567 | THEHOGWALLOW.COM

JOE ATLAS

Chris Hillman & Herb Pedersen with John Jorgenson

The sound we refer to as Americana was nurtured by bands like the Byrds and the Flying Burrito Brothers—groups that took their cue from traditional country music then blended it with rock ’n’ roll. Chris Hillman played a crucial role in both those bands, and it was the lessons learned from his seminal experience playing traditional bluegrass—first with the Scottsville Squirrel Barkers and later, the aptly named Hillmen—that provided his inspiration. Gram Parsons’ contributions provided additional impetus, but when Parsons succumbed to drugs and other decadence, it was left to Hillman to further that sound along. He subsequently played a key role in various outfits that followed, including the Southern Hillman Furay Band, Manassas and the band he helmed long after, the Desert Rose Band, which also included Hillman’s current collaborators, guitarists Herb Pedersen and John Jorgenson. On his new album Bidin’ My Time (Rounder), Hillman, Pedersen and Jorgenson revisit the sound the 72-year-old singer/bassist/mandolinist helped establish. Produced by the late, much-lamented Tom Petty, the album includes three songs Hillman originally recorded with the Byrds, as well as contributions from the Heartbreakers and former bandmates Roger McGuinn and David Crosby. So how about a Byrds reunion? Not likely, all insist, but no matter. Hillman and friends soar on their own. (Lee Zimmerman) The Egyptian Theatre, 328 Main, Park City, 8 p.m., $23-$45, all ages, egyptiantheatrecompany.org

CONCERTS & CLUBS THURSDAY 10/26 LIVE MUSIC

LIVE Music thursday, october 26 miami @ baltimore

INTRODUCING! $5 STEAK NIGHT @ 5PM EVERY THURSDAY EW!

N karaoke w/ dj bekster 9p,m

friday, october 27

DJ MATTY MO ANNUAL NIGHTMARE BASH

$500 CASH PRIZE - 1ST PLACE DJ LATU monday

OUR FAMOUS OPEN BLUES JAM WITH WEST TEMPLE TAILDRAGGERS

wednesday

THE TRIVIA FACTORY 7PM

thursday

KARAOKE W/ DJ BEKSTER 9PM

Every sunday ADULT TRIVIA 7PM

5.99 lunch special MONDAY - FRIDAY

12 sunday funday brunch

31 east 400 SOuth • SLC

801-532-7441 • HOURS: 11AM - 2AM

THEGREENPIGPUB.COM

KARAOKE BASH!

KARAOKE

Cowboy Karaoke (The Cabin) Karaoke with DJ Benji (A Bar Named Sue) Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge) Karaoke (Prohibition) Live Band Karaoke (Club 90) Zim Zam Karaoke (Funk ‘n’ Dive)

FRIDAY 10/27 LIVE MUSIC

8Six (The Loading Dock) Crafteon + Principium + Envenom + Uncermonial (Club X) Chris Hillman & Herb Pedersen with John Jorgenson (Egyptian Theatre) see p. 38 Colt .46 (The Westerner) Get Freaky, feat. Jauz (The Great Saltair) see p. 34 J Lately + DJ Nocturnal + Space Cadet + Animosity (Ice Haüs) Jordan Matthew Young Band (The Spur Bar & Grill) Josie Wails & The Outlaws (Pat’s BBQ) Jonny Cool Band (Brewskis) Lavelle Dupree (Downstairs) Live Local Music (A Bar Named Sue) Live Music (The Cabin) Live Music (O.P. Rockwell)

1492 S. STATE · 801.468.1492 PIPERDOWNPUB.COM

OCTOBER 26, 2017 | 39

$3 BLOODY MARYS & $3 MIMOSAS FROM 10AM-2PM

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 28TH HALLOWEEN COSPLAY

| CITY WEEKLY |

DJ Juggy (Bourbon House) DJ Boutzilla + Little Moon (Velour) Dueling Pianos (The Spur Bar & Grill) Dueling Pianos feat. Drew & JD (Tavernacle) Hot Noise + Guest DJ (The Red Door) Jazz Jam Session (Sugar House Coffee) Jazz Joint Thursday w/ Mark Chaney & The Garage All Stars (Garage on Beck) Jazz/Blues Jam (Twist) The New Wave (’80s Night) (Area 51) Therapy Thursdays feat. Grandtheft (Sky)

Great food

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

Weeknights

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 27

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

saturday, october 28

Agent Orange + Flatfoot 56 + Get Dead (Urban Lounge) Angela Bingham & Kenji Aihara (Acoustic Space) Breaking Benjamin (The Depot) Brujería + Powerflo + Piñata Protest + Dezecration (Metro Music Hall) see p. 33 Chris Hillman & Herb Pedersen with John Jorgenson (Egyptian Theatre) see p. 38 He Is Legend + Archives + Escher Case + Afterhand (Liquid Joe’s) Kapix (Hog Wallow Pub) LANY (The Complex) Max Frost + Nawas (Kilby Court) Reggae at the Royal (The Royal) Riverton Jazz Band (Gallivan Center)

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

| CITY WEEKLY |

40 | OCTOBER 26, 2017

EVERY DAY

BAR FLY

JOSH SCHEUERMAN

Campfire Lounge

Live Music (Lake Effect) Live Music (The Royal) Live Music (Velour) Live Music w/ Rail Town (Outlaw Saloon) Los Hellcaminos (Piper Down) The Maine + Dreamers + Night Riots (The Complex) Max Pain & Groovies Halloween + Ghost Dance + Thee Commons (Urban Lounge) Michelle Moonshine (Garage On Beck) OddJob Ensemble + Zombiecock + Barlow + Slick Velveteens + Delphic Quorum (Funk ‘n’ Dive) Rage Against The Supremes (Piper Down) SuperBubble (Hog Wallow Pub) Show Me Island + Anchorage + Scheming Thieves + Gringos (Kilby Court) Spazmatics ’80s Halloween Party (Liquid Joe’s) Whistling Rufus (Sugar House Coffee)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

All-Request Gothic + Industrial + EBM + and Dark Wave w/ DJ Vision (Area 51) Chaseone2 (Twist) DJ Dance Party (Club 90) DJ Flash & Flare (Metro Music Hall) DJ Jpan (Club Jam) DJ Juggy (Bourbon House) DJ Marty Paws (The Cabin) DJ Wayne (The Depot) Dueling Pianos feat. Troy & Drew (Tavernacle) Friday Night Fun All-Request Dance (Area 51) Funkin’ Friday w/ DJ Rude Boy & Bad Boy Brian (Johnny’s on Second) Hot Noise (The Red Door)

KARAOKE

Karaoke (Cheers to You SLC) Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge)

Its name makes the place sound like a quaint little tavern on a twisty mountain road. The Campfire Lounge even looks the part—except it’s in Sugar House, right across from the old Snelgrove’s Ice Cream cone landmark. But damned if it doesn’t have the atmosphere down, too, in spite of being situated in the heart of Salt Lake City’s hippest ’burb. Sitting near one of the outdoor fire pits on a cold night, tossing back belly-warming shots and shooting the proverbial substance with other patrons, you can ignore the lack of tree cover and block out the sounds of traffic and animals. Well, except for dogs. Beause what’s a campfire without a canine compadre? The Campfire Lounge patio is open to well-behaved doggos that observe the dress code: leash, license and proof of vaccination. Inside, it’s more like what you’d expect from a bar, with all kinds of booze on display and places to sit and drink it. You can also rock the bumpers on their sweet pinball machines and feast on such culinary wonders as the Campfire Trash Plate breakfast, a variety of tater-tot based creations, burgers, dogs, salads and a great selection of vegetarian, vegan and gluten-free options. And of course, they serve s’mores. Just watch your plates around the dogs. (Randy Harward) 837 E. 2100 South, Monday-Thursday, 5 p.m.-1 a.m.; Friday-Saturday, 11 a.m.-1 a.m., 21+, campfirelounge.com

SATURDAY 10/28 LIVE MUSIC

A Boogie With Da Hoodie + TK Kravitz (The Complex) Aces + Brogan Kelby (Velour) Baker Street Blues Band (Acoustic Space) Changing Lanes + DJ Miss Lux (The Cabin) Chelsea Wolfe + Youth Code (Urban Lounge) Chris Hillman & Herb Pedersen with John Jorgenson (Egyptian Theatre) see p. 38 Colt .46 (The Westerner) Dead Disco (Elevate) Finn + Tenelle & DJ Handsome Hands (The Royal) Get Freaky, feat. Excision (The Great Saltair) see p. 34 Haunted Hearts feat Mikey Lion + Lee Reynolds + Marbs + Porkchop + more (Switch SLC)

Him + CKY + 3Teeth (The Depot) Hollywood Undead + Butcher Babies + Demrick (In The Venue) Koo Koo Kanga Roo + Superfun Yeah Yeah Rocketship (Kilby Court) Live Local Music (A Bar Named Sue) Live Music (The Cabin) Live Music (Johnny’s on Second) Live Music (Lake Effect) Live Music w/ Rail Town (Outlaw Saloon) Live Music on the Plaza Deck (Snowbird) Live Trio (The Red Door) Oddjob Ensemble + Murphy & The Giant + Orphan’s Cabaret (Ice Haüs) Oingo Boingo Dance Party (Liquid Joe’s) see p. 34 Phutureprimitive + Enderr + Dekai (Metro Music Hall) The Pour + Super Bubble (O.P. Rockwell) Rage Against The Supremes (The Spur Bar & Grill) Talia Keys & the Love Halloween Bash + Grits Green + Big Blue Ox (State Room)

CONCERTS & CLUBS Will Baxter Band (Hog Wallow Pub)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

NEXT BRUNCH PARTY SUNDAY , NOVEM BER

5 TH

KARAOKE

KARAOKE (THURS)

Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge) Karaoke w/ B-RAD (Club 90)

PHOENIX SOFT TIP DARTS

DIAMOND POOL TABLES

SUNDAY 10/29

LEAGUES AND TOURNAMENTS

LIVE MUSIC FRIDAY & SATURDAY 6PM - 9PM

DJ’S FRIDAY & SATURDAY 9PM - CLOSE

FULL DINING MENU AVAILABLE FROM CAFE TRIO

RESERVATIONS FOR SPECIAL EVENTS / PRIVATE PARTIES

LIVE MUSIC

DART SUPPLIES 3425 S. State St. Suite D 385-528-2547 Tues & Fri: 3pm-1am Saturday: 11am-1am Sunday: 11am-9pm Closed Monday

6405 s 3000 e | 801.943.1696 | elixirloungeslc.com

801-363-0565 | 580 E 300 S w w w. t h e a r t f l o r a l . c o m

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

Bob Log III + Utah County Swillers + Jacob T. Skeen (Metro Music Hall) Chris Travis + Eddy Baker + Mir Fontane + DJ Scheme (The Complex) Cults + Cullen Omori + Hideout (Urban Lounge) Live Bluegrass (Club 90)

PAINT NIGHT (THURS & SAT)

| CITY WEEKLY |

Fall Is A Great Time To Mon-Sat 8-6 I Closed Sundays

801-562-5496 — 9275 S 1300 W

OCTOBER 26, 2017 | 41

glovernursery.com

Brunch Party with Live DJ Every 1st & 3rd Sunday Every Month

Dueling Pianos feat. Troy + Drew & Jules (Tavernacle) DJ Brisk (Bourbon House) DJ D-Money + DJ Tato (Moose Lounge) DJ Dance Party (Club 90) DJ Latu (The Green Pig) DJ Juggy (Downstairs) DJ Sneeky Long (Twist) Sky Saturdays w/ Joe Maz (Sky)

LIVE MUSIC

Plant

— Over 75 Beers Available — Live Music & DJ Fridays & Saturdays

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

| CITY WEEKLY |

42 | OCTOBER 26, 2017

CONCERTS & CLUBS

d ken Wee h Until nc Bru

2PM

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE Dueling Pianos w/ Patrick Ryan (The Spur Bar and Grill) Wrecks + Vesperteen + Technicolors (Kilby Court)

HIGHLAND

LUMPY’S BUS!

ALL UTAH HOME GAMES OCT 28 VS Oregon 3:45 NOV 18 VS Washington

WATCH ALL NFL GAMES EVERY SUNDAY, MONDAY, AND THURSDAY NIGHTS 3000 S Highland Dr, Salt Lake City, UT 84106 801.484.5597 | Lumpysbar.com

KARAOKE

Halloween Cosplay Karaoke (Ice Haüs) Karaoke (Tavernacle) Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge) Karaoke w/ DJ Benji (A Bar Named Sue) Karaoke Church w/ DJ Ducky (Club Jam)

MONDAY 10/30 LIVE MUSIC

Alvvays + Jay Som (Urban Lounge) Amanda Johnson (The Spur Bar & Grill) Crosscurrents (Peery’s Egyptian Theatre) Have Mercy + Boston Manor + Can’t Swim + A Will Away (Kilby Court) Knockout Kid + Story Untold + Rivals + Departure (The Loading Dock) Ministry + Death Grips (The Complex) see p. 34

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE Monday Night Open Jazz Session w/ David Halliday & JVQ (Gracie’s) Open Blues Jam (The Green Pig) Open Blues Jam hosted by Robby’s Blues Explosion (Hog Wallow Pub) Open Mic (The Cabin)

KARAOKE

Karaoke (Poplar Street Pub) Karaoke Bingo (Tavernacle) Karaoke with DJ Benji (A Bar Named Sue)

TUESDAY 10/31 LIVE MUSIC

Bloody Beetroots + Rituals Of Mine + My Name Is Thunder (The Depot) Corey Adam (The Spur Bar & Grill) Dawnlit + Black Flak & The Nightmare Fighters + Glaciers In Pangaea (Kilby Court)

CONCERTS & CLUBS

4760 S 900 E, SLC 801-590-9940 | facebook.com/theroyalslc

www.theroyalslc.com

 Bar | Nightclub | Music | Sports 

CHECK OUT OUR GREAT menu nfl football

jersey giveaways every sunday, monday & thursday

great food & drink specials

KARAOKE & pick-a-prize bingo

wednesday 10/25

Reggae

at the Royal

natural roots dubwise

amfs & long islands 1/2 off nachos & Free pool

saturday 10/28

Live Music

w/ dj handsome hands hosted by big body cisco

coming soon 11/04

live music from

Neal and Taylor from Royal Bliss, Spencer Nielson and Bad donkey

11/22

josh heinrichs danksgiving

w/ dubbest i the green leefs funk & gonzo ALL SHOW TICKETS AVAILABLE AT SMITHSTIX OR AT THE ROYAL

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

Badfeather + Break on Through + Miss DJ Lux (The Cabin) DJ Elliot Estes (Gracie’s) Halloween Bash w/ DJ Juggy (Bourbon House) Open Mic (The Wall at BYU) Open Mic (The Royal)

KARAOKE

Karaoke (Tavernacle) Karaoke w/ DJ Thom (A Bar Named Sue) Karaoke That Doesn’t Suck (Twist) Karaoke w/ Zim Zam Ent. (Club 90)

WEDNESDAY 11/1 LIVE MUSIC

A$AP Mob + Playboi Carti + Key! + Cozy Boys (The Complex) The Front Bottoms + Basement + Bad Bad Hats (The Complex) Groovement (Hog Wallow Pub) Haley Reinhart + Joshy Soul & Cool (Urban Lounge) Jon McLaughlin (Metro Music Hall) Lo-Pan + Lazer/Wulf + Magda-Vega (Club X) Shields + Grizzyy + Rook (The Moose Lounge) Soft White Sixties + Dan Luke & Raid (Kilby Court) Snoozy Moon (Ice Haüs) Tony Holiday (The Spur Bar & Grill)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE Dueling Pianos feat. South & Dave (Tavernacle) Open Mic (Velour) Temple (Gothic and Industrial) w/ DJ Mistress Nancy (Area 51) Roaring Wednesdays - Swing Dance Lessons (Prohibition)

KARAOKE

Areaoke w/ KJ Ruby (Area 51) Karaoke w/ B-RAD (Club 90) Karaoke (The Wall at BYU) Karaoke w/ Spotlight Entertainment (Johnny’s on Second) Superstar Karaoke w/ DJ Ducky (Club Jam)

Indian Style Tapas

From the Creators of The Himalayan Kitchen Next to Himalayan Kitchen

The

Nightly Music

Chakra Lounge

Friday 10/27 - DJ Birdman Saturday 10/28 - J Godina & Caviar Club DJ’s Wednesday 11/1 - Live Jazz Thursday 11/2 - The SLC

and Bar

ChakraLounge.net 364 S State St. Salt Lake City Open 5 - 1am Mon-Thurs • 10am - 1am Fri-Sun Offering full bar, with innovative elixers, late night small plate menu

AMAZING $8 LUNCH EVERY WEEKDAY! NEW MENU ADDITIONS! SATURDAY & SUNDAY BRUNCH, MIMOSA, AND MARY EVERY THURSDAY:

Jazz & Blues Jam | Gonzo at 10:00 FRIDAY:

SATURDAY:

DJ ChaseOne2 @ 9:00

DJ Sneeky Long @ 9:00 SUNDAY:

Sleep in! Brunch served ALL DAY!! Breaking Bingo @ 8:00 Pot $1,000 MONDAY: Micro Brew Pint Special Geeks Who Drink Trivia @ 7:00! TUESDAY:

Scary-oke! Hosted by Michael Christian Costume Karaoke and NO COVER! WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 1ST:

Crook & The Bluff @7:00 followed by VJ Birdman @ 10:00 on the Big Screen

AS ALWAYS, NO COVER!

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ACROSS

1. “Yoo-____!” 2. Off-road wheels, briefly 3. Beats Electronics cofounder Dr. ____ 4. “Star Wars” character ____ Binks 5. The mi. in Mile-High City 6. Like purple hair 7. Org. with a “100 Greatest Movie Quotes of All Time” list 8. Name on green-and-yellow soda cans 9. St. Francis’ home 10. Back muscle, to weightlifters

49. “The Crimes of Love” author Marquis ____ 50. “You should know better!” 56. Cornmeal bread 57. Blink ____ eye 59. Subway station sighting 60. “Dear old” person 61. “The Greatest” 62. Great deal 63. Apt rhyme of “squeak”

Last week’s answers

No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

DOWN

11. Heaped together 12. Elvis, at times 13. They don’t make it 18. Tool for the Grim Reaper 19. [This is scary!] 23. Friend of Huck 24. Things zygotes come from 25. Winter home, perhaps 26. Retire 29. Cooperstown inst. 30. Go beyond ripe 31. “____ Misérables” 35. The Once-____ (Seuss character) 36. Word on either side of “à” 37. Biblical verb ending 38. Keeps lubed, say 39. Don 40. “Brian’s Song” or “Sybil,” e.g. 41. Bart Simpson catchphrase 43. Org. for people puttering around? 44. Foreign agreement 45. Come to a close 47. Havens who sang at Woodstock 48. Romeo’s last words

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9.

1. Muslim pilgrimage 5. Cheese coated in red wax 9. Set straight 14. Not esta or esa 15. Uber rival 16. Big name in Japanese electronics 17. Hollywood agent’s job? 20. 2008 film whose title is the initials of the martial arts expert who stars in the film 21. Drunk motorist’s offense, briefly 22. Part of a tuba’s sound 23. USA ____ 26. They may make your hair stand on end 27. “Who am ____ judge?” 28. Miss one’s target during a pajama party fight? 32. “Geez!” 33. Knee-slapper 34. Relative of -ists 35. Tupperware contents, perhaps ... or this puzzle’s theme 39. Home buyer’s debt: Abbr. 42. Dentist’s directive 43. “I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity” writer 46. Nullify a hunter’s weapon? 51. NYC subway line named for two boroughs 52. Carded, for short 53. “Again ... “ 54. Palindromic male’s name 55. Modern prefix with gender 56. President after Tyler 58. Budget figure for a governor? 64. Mount in Exodus 65. Comic Carvey 66. ____ gin fizz 67. Number of giorni in a week 68. Site of a famous eviction 69. Pain in the neck

SUDOKU

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44 | OCTOBER 26, 2017

CROSSWORD PUZZLE

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY B Y R O B

B R E Z S N Y

Go to realastrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes. Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) Now is an excellent phase in your cycle to scour bathrooms, scrub floors, shampoo carpets and wash windows. But the imminent future will be an even more favorable period to purify your motivations, tonify your emotions, purge your less-than-noble agendas, calm down your monkey mind and monkey heart, disinfect the moldy parts of your past and fact-check the stories you tell about yourself. So which set of tasks should you focus on? It might be possible to make great strides on the second set as you carry out the first set. But if there’s not enough time and energy to do both, favor the second set. Halloween costume suggestion: a superhero who has wondrous cleaning powers; King Janitor or Queen Maid. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) “You never sing the same song twice,” chanteuse Billie Holiday said. “If you sing it with all the same phrasing and melody, you’re failing your art.” That’s an extreme statement, but I understand what she was driving at. Repeating yourself too much can be debilitating. That includes trying to draw inspiration from the same old sources that have worked in the past. I suggest you avoid this behavior in the coming days. Raise Holiday’s approach to a universal principle. Fresh sources of inspiration are available! Halloween costume suggestion: a persona or character unlike any you’ve ever imagined yourself to be.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Many years from now, in your last hours on Earth, you will have visions that show you how all the events in your life were crucial to your life story. You will understand the lesson that was provided by each twist and turn of your destiny. Every piece of the gigantic puzzle will slip into place, revealing the truth of what your mission has been. And during that future climax, you might remember right now as a time when you got a long glimpse of the totality. Halloween costume suggestion: the happiest person on Earth; the sovereign of all you survey; the wise fool who understands yourself completely.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20) In the next two weeks, you might have to navigate your way through careless gossip, distorted “facts,” superficial theories, hidden agendas, fake news and official disinformation. To prevent problems in communication with people who matter, take advantage of the Halloween spirit in this way: Obtain a bicycle helmet and cover it with aluminum foil. Decorate it with an Ace of Clubs, a red rose, images of wrathful but benevolent superheroes, and a sign that says “No Bullshit Allowed.” By wearing this crown, you should remain protected. If that’s too weird for you, do the next best thing: Vow to speak the whole truth and nothing but the truth, and ask to receive the whole truth and nothing but the truth. CANCER (June 21-July 22) Watch out for a fake pizza-delivery driver who’s actually trying to issue you a legal summons. Be careful you don’t glimpse a blood red sky at dusk, in case it’s a prophetic sign that your cell phone will fall into a toilet sometime soon. Beware of the possibility that a large bird carrying a turtle to its nest accidentally drops its prey into a rain puddle near you, splashing mud on your fancy clothes. Just kidding! All the scenarios I just described are stupid lies. The truth is, this should be one of the most worry-free times ever. You’re welcome, of course, to dream up a host of scary fantasies if you find that entertaining, but I guarantee that they’ll be illusory. Halloween costume suggestion: an indomitable warrior. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) What is the material object you want most but don’t have? This is an object that would serve your soul’s highest purposes, although not necessarily your ego’s. Here’s another question: What evocative symbol might help keep you inspired to fulfill your dreams over the course of the next five years? I suggest that you choose one or both of those things to be the inspiration for your Halloween costume.

OCTOBER 26, 2017 | 51

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Did you get a chance to go to circus school when you were a kid? How about magic school? Or maybe detective school or PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) You might be able to pass for normal, but it will be better for time-travel school or superhero school? Probably none of the your relationship with yourself if you don’t. You could try to above, right? Much of your education revolved around what tamp down your unusual urges and smooth your rough edges, you had to learn rather than what would be fun to learn. I’m but it will be smarter to regard those urges and edges as fertile not saying it was bad you were compelled to study subjects you raw material for your future happiness. Catch my drift? In the felt ambivalent about. In the long-run, it did you good. But now coming weeks, your main loyalty should be to your idiosyncratic here’s some sweet news, Virgo: The next 10 months will be a intelligence. Halloween costume suggestion: the beautiful, favorable time to get trainings and teachings in what you yearn to learn. Halloween costume suggestion: a student. interesting monster who lives in you.

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CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) There are no such things as magic healings and miraculous redemptions and impossible breakthroughs. Right? Hard evidence provided by science precludes the existence of exotic help coming from spiritual realms. Right? Well, no. Not right. There is in fact another real world that overlaps the material world, and it operates according to different laws that are mostly imperceptible to our senses. But events in the other real world can have tangible effects in the material world. This is especially true for you right now. Take advantage! Seek practical answers and solutions in your dreams, meditations, visions and numinous encounters. Halloween costume suggestion: white-magic sorcerer or good witch.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) “Yes, We Have No Bananas” is a silly novelty song that became a big hit in 1923. Its absurdity led to its wide use for humorous effect. For example, on the kids’ TV series The Muppet Show, puppets made out of fruits and vegetables sang parodies of the tune. That’s why I find it droll that the “No Bananas” songwriters stole part of the melody from the “Hallelujah Chorus,” the climax of classical composer George Handel’s religious oratorio Messiah. I’d love to see you engage in comparable transmutations, Taurus: making serious things amusing and vice versa. It’s a time when you can generate meaningful fun and playful progress through the art of reversal. Halloween costume suggestion: a tourist from Opposite Land or Bizarro World.

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SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) How can you enjoy the lavish thrills of rebirth later unless you die a little inside now? It’s the trickiest phase of your cycle, when your energies are best used to resolve and graduate from the unfinished business of the past 10 months. I suggest that you put the past to rest as best as you can. Don your funniest sad face and pay your last respects to the old ways and old days you’ll soon be leaving behind. Keep in mind that beauty will ultimately emerge from decay. Halloween costume suggestion: the mythical phoenix, which burns itself down, then resurrects itself from its own ashes.

ARIES (March 21-April 19) I share Vincent Van Gogh’s belief that “the best way to know life is to love many things.” But I also think that the next 12 months will be an inspiring time for you to be focused and single-minded in your involvement with love. That’s why I encourage you to take an approach articulated by the Russian mystic Anne Sophie Swetchine: “To love deeply in one direction makes us more loving in all others.” Halloween costume suggestion: a lover celebrating a sacred union to the love of your life, to god or goddess, or to a symbol of your most sublime ideal.

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52 | OCTOBER 26, 2017

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Caveat Emptor

Do you have your Halloween costume ready? I’m going with the onesie this year. Comfort over creativity, baby! We all love this weird holiday when we can have the bejesus scared out of us at a haunted house. That’s consensual fright, as opposed to non-consensual trickery. It’s fun to play with our fears and boundaries—except, well, when you buy a home. It doesn’t matter how many promises a seller makes or how many home inspections you pay for. As a buyer, you’re still going to have this thought in the back of your mind: “As soon as I sign the papers and put the key in the doorknob, the house will fall off its foundation … or the roof will cave in or the water heater explode.” Keep in mind the Latin phrase “caveat emptor,” which essentially means “buyer, beware.” A friend once told me about a relative who purchased a home in a nice East Bench neighborhood. About a week after they closed escrow and moved in, the basement flooded with sewer backup. After a massive cleanup and replacement of carpeting and furniture, it happened again about three months later. The third time, a neighbor wandered by and stopped to talk to the clearly frustrated homeowner. “So you’re the people that bought this plumbing disaster of a house,” he declared. Apparently, the home had a long history of flooding due to some really screwy sewer lines. And the former owner didn’t disclose that to the buyers. There’s the famous “snake house” in Rexburg, Idaho, where new owners caught 43 snakes after moving in. This wasn’t a case of prankster friends filling scattering some rubber snakes—but a five-bedroom manse full of actual snakes. A local wildlife biologist told the press that the home might have been built on a den where garter snakes hibernate. No wonder the place was listed at half its value. The real estate agent responsible for the sale told the buyers in advance that the house had rumored snakes but that story was just “made up.” The owners said their tap water tasted like onions (a similar odor to one snakes release when frightened). They later sued, but the case was dismissed. It’s also hard to find out if your home was built on the site of a graveyard unless you go way back into public records. Of course, our first Utah inhabitants didn’t keep paper records where they buried their relatives. People all over the state find bones of Anasazi-era humans in their newly excavated gardens. n Content is prepared expressly for Community and is not endorsed by City Weekly staff.

Poets Corner DON & HARV

Grotesque and greedy Groping at women Grasping at power Grounding hopes Grinding away decency Grilling themselves On a greasy spit of repugnance

Brian Burke Send your poem (max 15 lines), to: Poet’s Corner, City Weekly, 248 South Main Street, SLC, UT 84101or e-mail to poetscorner@cityweekly.net.

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Alien Invasion Bryant Johnson of Casper, Wyo., was on a mission on Oct. 2 when police responded to a call about a man warning citizens of an alien invasion coming next year. KTWO Radio in Casper reported that Johnson told police he had traveled back in time from 2048, explaining that the aliens filled his body with alcohol and had him stand on a giant pad that transported him back to 2017—although he was supposed to arrive in 2018. He also asked to speak with the “president of the town.” Instead, Bryant was arrested for public intoxication.

BY T HE EDITO R S AT A ND RE WS M cMEEL

September. A spokeswoman for the FAS, confirming that the complaint had been received, said, “We can’t be concerned with the content of the film,” but the agency would determine whether it contained advertising or product placement.

WEIRD

Farm Animals Gone Wild The owners of a mischievous ass in Vogelsberg, Hesse, Germany, have been ordered to pay for damages after Vitus the donkey apparently mistook an orange McLaren Spider sports car for a carrot. When Markus Zahn left his $411,000 car parked next to a paddock on Sept. 16, 2016, he returned to find that Vitus had nibbled on its paint to the tune of almost $7,000 in damage. “The donkey had insurance, but the insurance didn’t want to pay,” Zahn told the BBC. Vitus’ rap sheet also includes biting a Mercedes. Oops! In Romania, it takes more than foul weather or a damaged field to stop football. On Sept. 24, a match between Bistrita Brosteni and Vanatorul Dorna Candrenilor was abandoned just 58 minutes in after all the teams’ balls ended up in the nearby Bistrita River, according to the Hindustan Times. Bistrita was winning 2-0 when they ran out of balls. Fans suggested they might find the balls at the Bicaz dam nearby.

DO NOT EAT! Doctors thought a 47-year-old postman in Preston, Lancashire, England, who complained of a persistent cough might have cancer, as he was a long-term smoker whose X-rays showed a spot on his lung. But when they removed the mass, the BBC reported, they found the “long-lost Playmobil traffic cone” the patient had received as a gift on his seventh birthday. He told doctors he had regularly swallowed the small pieces as a child and believed he had inhaled the tiny cone. Happy ending: After the toy was removed, the man’s cough almost disappeared and his other symptoms improved.

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Ironies Samantha Faye Toope, 20, and Kelsie Laine Marie Mast, 23, inmates of the Edmonton Institution for Women in Alberta, Canada, must have been pumped up about their successful escape from the prison on Oct. 2, so they headed to a downtown “escape room”—a problem-solving and strategy game room where players are given limited time to find their way out. SideQuests Adventures owner Rebecca Liaw told CBC News that the women arrived at the business on Oct. 3 and inquired about the game. As Liaw explained how it works, five uniformed police officers arrived and handcuffed the cons, both of whom Edmonton police described as violent offenders with weapons offenses. “We get lots of interesting visitors,” Liaw said, “but this is definitely top of the list.”

Send your weird news items to weirdnewstips@amuniversal.com

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Bureaucracy in Action Juana Escudero, 53, of Alcalá de Guadaíra, Spain, has been dead since May 13, 2010. Except she’s still very much alive. FOX News reports that a Málaga, Spain, woman died on that date who shared Escudero’s full name and birthdate. As a result, Escudero was pronounced dead by the government, which has given her headaches ever since. For instance, she can’t renew her driver’s license or go to the doctor. Finally, in April 2016, she tracked down the actual dead woman in Málaga, and in September of this year, she petitioned the courts to open the grave to prove that she is not the dead woman. She even offered to do a DNA test. “On the government’s computers I am dead,” Escudero said, “but for the banks ,I am alive and kicking.” Questionable Judgment Minnesota State Police nabbed a motorcycle rider on Aug. 31 who was weaving in and out of traffic on Interstate 394 and performing stunts, all while wearing a panda suit, complete with an oversize animal head. The rider told police that the panda suit was meant to help his motorcycle videos “go viral,” but police responded with a citation for reckless driving, and they confiscated the panda head. “A panda head will not protect you in a crash like a DOT-approved helmet would,” police advised on their Facebook page.

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Corporate Shenanigans The Russian division of Burger King has asked the country’s Federal Anti-Monopoly Service to ban Stephen King’s horror movie It from showing in Russian theaters because the clown character, Pennywise, looks too much like Ronald McDonald, and therefore the movie is advertising for McDonald’s. However, the Hollywood Reporter noted, the movie opened in Russia on Sept. 7 and had already grossed millions of dollars by late

Babs De Lay

| COMMUNITY |

n Metro News also reports that women in Middlesbrough, Cleveland, England, have contacted police about a mysterious man handing out provocative notes in the streets. The notes begin: “No offence intended. You are simply a female that caught my eye. … I am looking for a possible private arrangement. If you understand my meaning.” The man has handed out several of the notes, one to a 14-year-old girl at Middlesbrough Bus Station. Her sister called the phone number at the bottom of the note and said the voice “sounded foreign.” She went on: “It made me feel a bit uncomfortable and it set off my anxiety.”

Crime Report Patrick Joseph Adams Jr., 36, of Great Falls, Mont., pulled the ultimate heist in July when he convinced two male friends and his girlfriend to help him “move out” of a house that wasn’t his. One of the friends was suspicious when he saw a wall in the home dedicated to military service, but didn’t remember that Adams had been in the service, the Great Falls Tribune reported. That friend left before the move was complete, but the rest of the group loaded about $40,000 worth of belongings into a U-Haul, requiring two trips. Later that evening, the true homeowner of the burglarized house called police and reported the theft, and through U-Haul records police were able to track Adams down. He was charged on Sept. 28 with burglary and criminal mischief.

GOOD SOULS

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Creeps on Parade Samantha the intelligent sex doll suffered a number of indignities at the Ars Electronica Festival in Linz, Austria, in early September. Sergi Santos of Barcelona, Spain, who developed Samantha, said men at the show acted “like barbarians. Two fingers were broken. She was heavily soiled.” Samantha, who talks, is also programmed to react when someone touches her. Santos told Metro News that Samantha would have to undergo repairs and cleaning, but she “can endure a lot. She will pull through.”

Inexplicable If you’re already shopping for your 2018 calendar, Metro News recommends you don’t overlook the Carponizer Carp Calendar, which features “12 beautiful carps with attractive women. On high quality paper.” Oh, and the women are naked. Hendrik Pohler, 28, the calendar’s creator, was struck with the idea when he was fishing with a friend “and at the spot next to us were two hot girls fishing,” he told Maxim, which described the models as having “stiff, pained expressions.”

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