City Weekly November 30, 2017 by Copperfield Publishing

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ZION, MILITIAS AND PUBLIC LANDS THE RISE AND RISE OF CLIVEN BUNDY. BY JOHN DOUGHERTY

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COVER STORY

UPCOMING EVENTS

JOHN DOUGHERTY

Cover story, p. 13 The award-winning reporter and documentarian’s work has appeared in outlets like Phoenix New Times, The Washington Post and The New York Times. When not covering environmental, political and economic news, he spends his free time kayaking, swimming and traveling the backroads of the American West and Baja.

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First, I apologize this part is late; I wanted to salute John Saltas’ “Eternal Memory” piece [Private Eye, Oct. 19]. When my time comes, if anyone feels half about me as John did about his great friend Vasilios Priskos, I would be surprised. What a beautiful and loving honor, memorial and tribute. Mr. Priskos clearly met the standard of a well examined life. As to “Vetting Veterans Day” [Opinion, Nov. 9] by John Rasmuson, this was one of the best salutes to veterans I’ve ever read. Clear, concise and direct, it put patriotism, service and country into perspective. It highlighted the faux patriotism of many in this country and supports my belief (echoed by James Fallows) that these United States only like the armed forces when we need them. Otherwise, there are more important things to do with money. America, from the days preceding the revolution, has never liked a standing army and never will (regardless of what Republicans say). It’s in our DNA. If you join for benefits, to see the world, or to learn a skill or trade, you are joining for the wrong reasons. I, my brothers and most of the veterans I served with did it to serve, love of country and to be part of something bigger than self. When I criticize my veteran friends for asking for every benefit, deduction and discount they can get, I offer them to read up on Cincinnatus and the example, based on him, that General/President Washington set. I doubt any of them ever did.

JOHN H. THOMPSON, Ogden

Five Spot, Nov. 9, Mindy Vincent

Thank you for not having such a stupid cover article like last week.

City Weekly, you are on point lately! Another amazing woman who is in charge of the needle exchange program here in Utah. If you don’t know what it is, check out utahharmreduction.org— great work being done by great people!

DAVE CALDWELL Via Facebook

Film review, Nov. 23, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Mo.

LAURIE ROBINSON

Best of the year so far. I can only hope there are few good ones left to see. Anyhow, brilliant writing, directing and acting.

Via Facebook

Blog post, Nov. 15, “LGBTQ Youth Summit Announced”

TRACY CALLAHAN Via Facebook

Give it a rest. This city can’t provide equality to non-gays, yet goes overboard pretending to be the Rosa Parks of a bus ride to nowhere. Via Facebook

The Ocho, Nov. 23, “8 Things You Don’t Want to Hear From Your Family on Thanksgiving”

I bet you’re fun at parties.

@HYMENOPTERA79

AARON JONES

BRITTNEY HEMINGWAY Via Facebook

Reality is always a hoot, honey. Enjoy the suspended reality in smaller bites.

AARON JONES Via Facebook

Have you ever thought that perhaps it’s your delivery and not your message that causes conflict with those around you? Most women don’t respond well to being called “honey” and most men aren’t smart enough to warrant talking down to a woman like that. And if they are smart enough, they know better.

BRITTNEY HEMINGWAY Via Facebook

Good one, Bill. You’ve still got it!

Cover story, Nov. 16, “Finding Her Voice”

Thank you for this tribute on time for my 50th birthday. Through the years, I have seen [author Dylan Woolf Harris] cover a wide range of topics, and you indeed tried my tolerance and expanded my vision. I love all of you at City Weekly for bringing the obscure into focus!

VICTORIA SETHUNYA Via Facebook

I’ve got many more stories of refugees in SLC when you’re ready to keep sharing their journeys.

@BRIDGESFOUNDER Via Twitter

Via Twitter No. 9: Orrin Hatch is running for senate again.

@VIRGILGLASS Via Twitter

Free Will Astrology

I don’t believe in astrology, mainly because we Virgos are inherently skeptical.

JADE JD LEBLANC Via Facebook

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OPINION

Trickle-down Manners

The other night, while out and about on a mission for an art experience to feed my soul, I arrived at an unexpected realization: The closing-night ballet crowd is the worst. Citizens like these are the reason why people on the left fear what the Republican agenda will do to society. So bloated with self-virtue, they’re not even capable of trickle-down manners—let alone economics. Over the past several years, my interactions with the plié-loving crowd have consisted of Nutcracker matinées (conveniently timed for my little people) and a couple of Beer & Ballet events at Rose Wagner Center. In the whirlwind of mom-life, I could not recall the last time I attended an evening performance at the Capitol Theatre. Hence, my excitement when I realized my hubby and I would be child-free for the closing night of Ballet West’s Carmina Burana. As the warm glow of the chandeliers welcomed us into the lobby, it occurred to me I’d missed these fanciful nights out on the town. Woefully, this feeling quickly faded as I rubbed shoulders with society’s crème de la crème. In line for the coat check, I viewed other patrons consistently pushing their way to the front and bombarding the single staff member working the counter, despite clearly seeing there was a line. Their actions not only lacked manners, but any awareness for the world around them. I could not help but consider the major flaw of the

BY ASPEN PERRY (alleged) intent of our government’s new proposed tax plan, as I witnessed the behavior of those around me. According to Gary Cohn, White House economic advisor, in a recent CNBC interview, “Everything in our tax plan is meant to encourage investment.” Cohn seems to be forgetting one key element though— the majority of the wealthy only invest in themselves. My theory was confirmed when two women, adorned in high-end brands and sparkly jewels, pushed past me and my single coat to plop the coats of their entire party on the counter. I looked at the women’s expressionless faces as they carried on in their conversation completely ignoring me, as well as all the other humans who had been waiting. What bothered me most had little to do with them cutting the line, and more the way in which they looked through me and the other patrons as though we didn’t exist. It served as a stinging reminder that money doesn’t buy class. Poor etiquette carried through, as patrons pushed their way past others while handing their tickets over to theater staff or as they walked in to find their seat. In the years of matinées and less-formal performances, I could not recall a single time I wished I’d worn protective gear. Regardless if they were born with the silver spoon or worked their way to the top, it appears as though the only thing these individuals are truly capable of tricklingdown is disdain and arrogance for the more simple folk attempting to access the same luxuries. As Richard Reeves explained in a May NPR interview, upper-middle class Americans don’t share the American dream—they hoard it. In his aptly named book Dream Hoarders, Reeves argues the top 20 percent are guiltier of stacking the deck than their top one percent counterparts. In the words of Reeves, it is the “American upper-middle class, who, through various ways of rigging the market …

are essentially hoarding the American dream.” The current regime is attempting to sell the new tax plan as the best thing to happen to the American middle class since sliced bread—“It’s gonna be huge.” When the Institute on Taxation and Economic Policy (ITEP) applied the tax-cut data based on share of income (versus household income), the numbers confirmed the the top five percent of Americans will be benefactors. Between the top 20 percent hoarding the American dream, and the top five percent receiving over half the tax cuts by 2027, what chance do working and middle-class Americans have to catch-up? In Reeves’ interview, he noted how tax incentives operate behind a facade of a classless society, despite favoring wealthier Americans. “In the U.S., you have a class system that operates every bit as ruthlessly as the British class system, but under the veneer of classless meritocracy,” he declared True, a small percentage of the wealthy have philanthropic motives, but the bulk’s money really just provides entitlement. And entitled nitwits are rarely known for their contribution to society. Thus in the days ahead, as you review the new tax plan, consider the day-to-day behavior of the so-called upper crust of society and ask yourself: Can those incapable of the simple task of trickle-down manners really be tasked with sharing their wealth? In my case, it took less than five minutes with the bourgeoisie to see why the new tax plan will be a complete bust for the non-wealthy. Though to be fair to closingnight ballet patrons, I have yet to scope out the audience at the opera. CW

Aspen Perry is a Salt Lake City-based aspiring author and self-proclaimed “philosophical genius.” Send feedback to comments@cityweekly.net

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Bill Me

Utah Policy’s Bob Bernick has a way of making you abandon all hope in our Legislature. He recently pointed out that lawmakers really, really want to make laws and anticipate filing somewhere around 1,000 bills. Now, not all of them will be public—yet. You know how legislators like to keep things under wraps because they wouldn’t want to hear from you before the thinking’s been done. Just let this sink in: 1,000 bills about 1,000 issues that surely will impact you. Better yet, one unidentified legislator might have filed up to 82 bills. Utah, we know, is an anything-goes state, but there are many others that limit the number of bills per session—anywhere from two to infinity. Freewheeling states like Illinois introduced—hold on—about 9,000 bills between December 2014 and 2015, according to the MultiState website. For some, limits are a matter of fiscal responsibility. You’d think Utah would like that.

Open Season

It’s been mentioned that governments need to be more open. Get it? Open? That’s because they’re doing the people’s business with the people’s money. The Salt Lake Tribune pointed this out in spades with a story about how Real Salt Lake got a huge tax break from Sandy by just being quiet little lobbyists. You might recall U.S. Attorney General Jeff Sessions repeatedly saying he doesn’t remember various important things. Well, neither does the entire Salt Lake County Council. It must be an epidemic. Gee, did they agree to cut Real’s tax bill by about half a million dollars? It took an open-records request to find this out. Utah Attorney General Sean Reyes doesn’t like those pesky records requests, either. He’s fighting public disclosure of his legal opinion in this year’s special congressional race. Maybe he forgot what it was.

Hold Your Breath

S ON U W FOLLO GRAM A T S IN

EEK W C L @S

It’s hard to know who or what to blame for the toxic mess that is Utah air. When the Legislature’s in session, it’s usually motor vehicles. Sometimes you hear about MagCorp, oil refineries and other industrial polluters. Now The Salt Lake Tribune puts the blame squarely on Kennecott Utah Copper and its leadfilled emissions. That pushes Utah’s toxic rating way up. While it might be a temporary phenomenon, it’s hard to assess who has been affected. Utah is about to enter the annual inversion season, and public officials will be pretty much ignoring it. “Should you be worried?” one Trib commenter asked. “Only if you breathe.”

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Send questions via straightdope.com or write c/o Chicago Reader, 350 N. Orleans, Chicago 60654

Catania) have learned this much about how the eel does business, by the way: for many of the same reasons it’d be impractical to mass-harvest them, electric eels haven’t been particularly well studied. Bioelectrogenesis is obviously a pretty cool trick, and one that, unfortunately for us, has evolved only in fish—the conductivity’s just better underwater. Still, humans have been looking for ways to to get in on the game: n Scientists in Shanghai reported last year that they’d used the structure of the eel’s electricity-producing apparatus as inspiration to create “flexible, stretchable, and weavable” fibers that double as high-voltage capacitors—storage devices for electricity. Couple these with fiberlike solar cells, the idea goes, and weave them into fabric, and pretty soon you’ve got a jacket that’ll charge your phone. n Back in 2008 chemical engineers from Yale designed an artificial biological cell that does what an electric eel’s electrocytes do, only better: their version could generate 28 percent more electricity, and convert food energy into electricity with 31 percent greater efficiency. In theory, anyway; as of 2014 it was apparently still in the conceptual stages. But the hope is that this might lead to the development of a “biobattery” to power medical implants and prostheses—one big advantage over more conventional in-body power sources being that if the bio-battery breaks down, it won’t leave a bunch of toxic junk in your system. As I say, it’s early yet for this kind of research, with seemingly huge untapped potential—the world may well be our electric oyster. Of course, generating electricity within the human body is the kind of notion certain online technophiles can’t help getting carried away over. I came across one excited blogger recapping that Yale project and imagining even further frontiers in people power: “Most in the Western world are experiencing an obesity epidemic, so we have plenty of chemical energy to spare for producing an electric potential.” Factory-farming humans for bioelectricity was also the plot of The Matrix, you’ll recall, but heck: we’re racing headlong toward dystopia in any case. Might as well burn off that excess belly fat along the way.

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Assume that money and animal-rights groups are no issue. What’s the dope on harnessing electricity from electric eels? —Nansbread1, via the Straight Dope Message Board Never mind PETA—those eels can take care of themselves. Often reaching eight feet in length, an electric eel is capable of leaping out of the water to zap you with a charge of up to 600 volts, which probably won’t do you any permanent harm but may make you rethink some of your life choices. And you can’t just trawl for them, either. Electric eels (NB: not technically eels— Electrophorus electricus hails from a group of creatures called knifefish) tend to favor muddy river bottoms and swamps, so they’re not particularly easy to net. Given that we’re talking about the basins of the Amazon and Orinoco rivers here, the eels may not be the only unpleasant critters splashing around down there. There’s also no track record for breeding them in captivity, so even if you were able to haul in enough starter stock for your state-of-theart electric-eel farm, you might encounter difficulty sustaining a population. Honestly, just put in some solar panels. Theoretically what you’re suggesting is possible, I’ll concede, as evidenced by one aquarium in Japan that hooked up its Christmas tree to a couple of aluminum plates installed in the E. electricus tank. Eels generate electricity as they swim around—they use it like sonar to find their way, among other applications we’ll get to shortly. So when this one moved, the lights on the tree flickered. A neat demo, but also an illustration of one major drawback to achieving your goal at any kind of scale: the electricity is inconstant, and generated at the eel’s whims. You can’t just wire it up and flip a switch. This isn’t to say that electric eels don’t have anything to tell humans about electricity—but the real money is in figuring out how they function and trying to mimic it. Slice open an electric eel and you’ll find three electricity-producing abdominal organs, which collectively take up maybe 80 percent of its body. Individually the specialized juice-generating cells, called electrocytes, in these organs pack only a minute amount of electrical potential—not too much more than a human muscle cell or neuron. But, lined up like batteries in a flashlight, the electrocytes are synchronized to go off together on command, adding up all those tiny charges into one big one. Or a smaller one, as needed. Electric eels regularly emit a weak charge for navigation purposes, as described above, and to communicate among themselves. They can also produce jolts with significantly more buzz, famously to fend off predators or incapacitate prey, but also to track that prey in the murky water—when nearby fish twitch in response, the eels home in. It’s only recently that biologists (notably Vanderbilt’s Ken

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Eight great achievements by Utah Gov. Gary Herbert during eight years in office:

8. Successfully drove out the

scourge of Outdoor Retailer and all that dirty “outside” money.

7. Transitioned between the “Rascally Squirrel” and “Wiley Gentleman” toupée models seamlessly.

6. Took piles of campaign cash

from Big Medical, Big Highway and Big Coal; insisted there would be no quid pro quo.

5. Looked up the term “quid

pro quo” all by himself like a big boy.

4. Endorsed Donald Trump;

withdrew endorsement of Donald Trump; voted for Donald Trump.

3. Somehow actually cheapened the Sharknado franchise.

2. Suppressed the information

that “Available Jones” was a male prostitute in ancient comic strip Li’l Abner.

1. Provided The Ocho with eight years of material that almost wrote itself. Almost.

CITIZEN REVOLT In a week, you can

CHANGE THE WORLD

EXTREMISM PANEL

Remember Charlottesville? And then there were more. Because of this threat to U.S. and global security, a panel of academic, civic and student leaders are addressing the historical and contemporary dynamics of violent extremism. “At issue are questions of ethnic nationalism, free speech, intolerance, and ideologies that justify or perpetuate violence. At stake is the very possibility of respectful and peaceful dialogue,” the event’s Facebook page says. That very statement underscores the reason you should attend The Global Resurgence of Violent Extremism: A Panel Discussion. Already there are several opinionated if hate-filled posts on the event site. University of Utah College of Social Work, 395 S. 1500 East, Room 155-B, 801-5816192, Thursday, Nov. 30, 5-7 p.m., free, bit.ly/2zxUA9Y.

EMERGENCY PREPAREDNESS

With political turmoil and climate change looming, it’s no wonder emergency preparedness is a hot topic. There’s even something for your pets. Be Ready, Be Prepared, teaches “Communicating in the neighborhood in times of disaster,” and how to store water in your home for a short period of time. This is more than LDS food storage and a little less than building a bunker. In the Disaster Preparedness for Pets Workshop you’ll learn how to make an emergency kit and plan for that human-caused or natural disaster. And finally, Resilient Salt Lake County prepares you for flood, fire or the Big One. Be Ready: Public Safety Building, 475 S. 300 East, 801-799-3605, Saturday, Dec. 2, 9 a.m., free, bit.ly/2ioZDhU. Pets workshop: Salt Lake County Animal Services, 511 W. 3900 South, 385468-7387, Thursday, Nov. 30, 5-6 p.m., free, bit.ly/2jiMbfE. Resilient SLC: Salt Palace Convention Center, 100 S. West Temple, Wednesday, Dec. 6, 8 a.m.-4 p.m., free, bit.ly/2iPcomX.

OVERDOSE OUTREACH

Addiction is not a life failure, but could ultimately end someone’s life. There is a solution, and it often starts with simple steps—HIV/HCV/STI prevention education and counseling, referrals, testing, overdose prevention, rescue training and more. At Outreach with Utah Naloxone and SLCHD, overdose rescue kits are provided and nursing consultation is available. As Salt Lake County considers how to attack homelessness, it also works toward solving the drug-addiction problem. Washington Square, 451 S. State, 385-434-9324, Wednesday, Dec. 6, 5-9 p.m., free, bit.ly/2Ar5oXz.

—KATHARINE BIELE Send tips to revolt@cityweekly.net

NEWS

E D U C AT I O N

Classroom Politics

Lawsuit challenges bill aiming to force education board hopefuls to pick party sides. BY DYLAN WOOLF HARRIS dwharris@cityweekly.net @dylantheharris

DEREK CARLISLE

Senate Bill 78, a new law that makes state school board elections partisan, is currently being challenged in court.

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NOVEMBER 30, 2017 | 11

persons for SB78 and similar bills maintained that this vetting process, including the testing and qualifying of candidates through caucuses, conventions and political affiliation, was the primary reason for making Board races partisan,” the lawsuit states. After the plaintiffs filed suit, the state submitted a motion for partial summary judgment at the end of October asking that the judge rule that Senate Bill 78 doesn’t violate the state constitution because affiliation with a political party doesn’t disqualify a person for running for the state board. Several times throughout the hearing last Wednesday, Roberts reiterated the state’s stance that partisan elections are merely a means for a party to get a candidate on the ballot but doesn’t stop a candidate from running as a minority party, with no party affiliation or as a write-in. While that’s true, critics of the law have highlighted the reality that nonGOP candidates in many districts are nearly unelectable, except in the few districts where Democrats are sure to win. On either side, parties impose “political purity, fitness or soundness” tests on their candidates, the lawsuit states. “Because Utah is so heavily dominated by a single political party, the alternatives to running as the nominated candidate of the dominant party are entirely cosmetic, if not completely futile,” the complaint states. “Gerrymandered safe districts, for both major political parties, are the rule in the vast majority of districts, and they ensure dominant party election victories. To run as an unaffiliated candidate is a guaranteed defeat.” CW

pressed limitation put on the legislature by Utah voters. “You can’t gainsay that history, Your Honor. It is crystal clear what they intended,” he said, adding, “It’s irrefutable that when the people of Utah went to the polls in 1950, they were taking politics out of schools.” A judge struck down Utah’s prior practice in 2014 of having the governor select two school board candidates in each district from a pool narrowed by a committee. Then, two years later, the school board seats were filled in a nonpartisan election while the Legislature figured out a new system. Filling seats on education boards varies from state to state. Colorado, for instance, has partisan school board elections for seven of its board members. Four of the 11 seats in Nevada—one from each congressional district—are won in nonpartisan races, while the remaining seats are appointments from various officials or bodies. In Wyoming, 10 of the 13 members are directly appointed to six-year terms by the governor. During the 2016 legislative session, lawmakers presented SB78 as a way to winnow the candidate field. Sen. Ann Millner, R-Ogden, who sponsored the bill, pointed to a glut of 19 candidates from one district who were all eyeing the school board that year. “That would mean there would be 19 names on the ballot and someone could be elected with a very small percentage of the vote,” she said. But opponents say the law is a way to signal to voters a candidate’s political leanings and any value qualifications that are ascribed. “Indeed, the sponsors and spokes-

The state, however, contests that there is a difference between a partisan test and partisanship. And in this case, running as a party member doesn’t disqualify someone from appearing on the ballot. “That’s what partisan elections mean, a political party gets to put a candidate on [the ballot], there is no requirement that a board member be from any political party or a particular political party or can’t be from one. And that’s what we think of when we think of a partisan test,” said Assistant Attorney General Thom Roberts, counselor for the state. Roberts also noted that folks who run in nonpartisan races are, on occasion, linked to political parties, regardless of whether they’re required to disclose any affiliation on their candidacy forms. And no one, he said, would argue that prior affiliation should keep them off the ticket. Instead, the state argued, the constitution is meant to protect the state’s education employees from political retaliation. Prohibiting partisan tests, Roberts said, was the state’s way of preventing a newly elected superintendent from cleaning house in the education system because one was a Democrat or Republican. But that segment of the constitution wasn’t to be applied to fair elections, he countered. Finally, Roberts said, the constitution doesn’t limit the Legislature’s authority from creating an election framework that includes partisan races. Smith argued that a 1950 amendment to the state constitution, which eliminated the election of a state school superintendent, was, in fact, an ex-

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he clock is ticking for a district court judge to rule whether hopefuls vying for a seat on the state’s education board will have to affiliate with a political party before the next election cycle. On Nov. 22, Judge Andrew Stone heard arguments in Utah’s 3rd District Court in a lawsuit trying to block Senate Bill 78, which created partisan elections for the Utah State School Board. During the preliminary injunction hearing, lawyers briefly outlined their cases, and at its conclusion, the judge indicated that he needed more time to review the motions and consider the arguments before siding with one party or the other. But, as the campaign seasons get longer and longer, Stone also recognized how pressed he is to make a ruling before potential 2018 candidates decide whether they want to toss their hats into the ring. “I am conscious of the urgency regarding this decision so we’ll get something out quickly,” Stone said from the bench before taking the matter under advisement. As of press time, no decision had been rendered. A coterie made up of individuals and education organizations—including the Utah PTA, Utahns for Public Schools and ABU Education Fund—sued the state in June over SB78. The plaintiffs alleged that the law violates a section of the state constitution that bars “partisan tests or qualifications as a condition of employment in the state’s education systems,” the lawsuit states. Additionally, the plaintiffs argue that if school board members were elected through partisan caucuses, it would violate the “one person one vote” principle. At issue, in part, is whether school board members are actually employees. Last week, an attorney for the plaintiffs argued that by any reasonable definition, they were. “They are given salaries. They are given benefits. They are subject to some of the same penalties as ordinary employees. Administratively, they are certainly treated as employees,” attorney Alan Smith said in court.

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Their David vs. Goliath story line, blown out across three years of highprofile media coverage, attracted support from the far-right militia groups proliferating and itching for a fight during the latter years of the Obama administration, as well as from conservative politicians financed by extractive industries seeking to turn over ownership of hundreds of millions of acres of federal public land to the states and private entities. The rhetoric of an overreaching federal government has given legal cover to the Bundy family and its supporters. The success of this propaganda cam-

the cattle under the threat of violence. Hailed by Bundy supporters as the Battle of Bunkerville, the incident is considered a major victory in the far-right populist effort to wrest control of public lands from the federal government. The flashpoint has had far-ranging effects. “They basically concluded that you can point guns at the federal government and the government will back down with no consequences,” says University of Oregon geography professor Peter Walker, who studies the social and political environmental aspects of the American West. In Burns, a ranching town of 5,000 that serves as the Harney County seat, there is a far different and much-darker and terrifying narrative of the Bundy family and their militia allies that is emerging in the aftermath of the armed occupation of the community.

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Bundy, 71, became a national figure in April 2014 when he forced federal land managers to release cattle seized for trespassing on public lands in southeast Nevada. Nineteen months later two of Bundy’s sons, Ammon and Ryan, led an armed group that seized Malheur National Wildlife Refuge, about 32 miles south of this remote ranching community in southeast Oregon. In both instances, the elder Bundy leveraged growing public dissatisfaction with the federal government to promote his assertion that federal tyranny is crushing individual rights.

paign was underscored by the unexpected October 2016 acquittal of Ammon and Ryan Bundy and five others on federal conspiracy and weapons charges in connection with the 41-day militia takeover of the Oregon wildlife refuge. The “heroic” framing embodied by that legal win is currently being put to test in a Las Vegas federal court. Cliven Bundy and his two sons, along with militia leader Ryan Payne, are charged with conspiring to thwart the 2014 government roundup of cattle near the town of Bunkerville, Nev., after Bundy refused to pay more than $1 million in delinquent grazing fees dating back 20 years. The four men each face 22 felony charges, including counts of conspiracy against and assault on federal officers. In that incident, Cliven Bundy, backed by militia members, forced National Park Service and U.S. Bureau of Land Management employees to release

BURNS, Ore.—In two heavily armed, militia-backed confrontations with the federal government in 2014 and 2016, Nevada scofflaw rancher Cliven Bundy and his family successfully created a self-serving narrative of a God-fearing, hard-working, true-blooded American family fearlessly battling an overreaching, oppressive and unconstitutional federal bureaucracy.

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Cattle rancher’s armed insurrection, rooted in religious extremism, goes on trial.

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ZION, MILITIAS AND PUBLIC LANDS: THE RISE AND RISE OF CLIVEN BUNDY.

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Ammon Bundy aligned with a coalition of militia groups and tried to use heavily armed men to intimidate community leaders into supporting their call to reject federal authority over the county, says recently retired Harney County Judge Steve Grasty. But community leaders and local ranchers refused to join their cause. Harney County Sheriff David Ward deftly avoided a violent confrontation that the Bundys were trying to provoke during three months of heavy militia presence in Burns. “Ammon Bundy genuinely thought he was going to be able to lead a national revolution,” Walker says during an interview in his office in Eugene, Ore. “He didn’t do his homework. He came to the wrong place.” That’s because Harney County ranchers and federal land-use managers have a long history of collaborating on land-use and water issues at the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge and Malheur National Forest, spearheaded by the High Desert Partnership, a nonprofit that successfully bridges the often formidable gap between environmentalists, ranchers and the federal land managers. Harney County ranchers refused to join Ammon and Ryan Bundy in their call to ranchers across the West to tear up their federal grazing permits. The reality of the Bundy/militia confrontation in Burns reveals a narrative that’s very different from their finely honed, folksy image of salt-of-the-earth ranchers protecting forgotten men and women from rampant federal abuses. It wasn’t the federal government that was overreaching and abridging the rights of citizens. Rather, it was Bundy fanaticism that put innocent lives at risk, Ward says. “They are extremists,” says Ward, who was hailed by Grasty for exercising patience and restraint in the extremely volatile crises that overwhelmed this quiet community. “Any disagreement with them makes you the enemy.” Throughout the Malheur occupation, militias continued to menace Burns, leaving many terrified that a bloodbath was an errant firecracker away. “This was day after day after day after day,” Grasty says during a lengthy interview in his home about 10 miles north of Burns where his anger steadily built the longer he talked about what happened. “It was hurtful to your mind. How do you set that aside? That to me is what was hurtful.” Asked if his community was subjected to an ongoing act of terrorism by the Bundys and their militia allies, Grasty pauses for a moment and looks off into the distance. “Yep. If they can fragment [you],” he says, before pausing again. “It’s a horrible weapon.” How did all this happen? Experts and witnesses say the roots of the Bundy family’s uncompromising and authoritarian approach over the use of America’s public lands can be traced to their belief in the historic Mormon entitlement to the promised land of Zion and their fringe interpretation of the U.S. Constitution first posed by a far-right Mormon writer. “It all comes back to religion,” says Walker, who is writing a book on the Bundy-led occupation of Malheur and Burns.

Zion, Armed Insurrection and Public Lands

Academic research on Mormon history, theology and the Mormon migration to the Great Basin to create what the early western settlers called the promised land of Zion in the mid-19th century provides a framework for understanding the Bundy family’s refusal to accept federal authority over public lands. The militia-supported Bundy aggressions in Bunkerville, Burns and Malheur—while often not Mormon themselves—can be traced to early Mormon religious and political beliefs that have contributed to modern-day right-wing extremism, says Betsy Gaines Quammen, a professor of world religions and culture at the Yellowstone Theological Institute, whose 2017 doctoral dissertation at Montana State University was titled “American Zion: Mormon Perspectives on Landscape, from Zion National Park to the Bundy Family War.” “I can tell you with great confidence that Zion is part of this public-land issue and that the militia has been part of the Mormon world view since the very beginning,” Quammen says.

The roots date back to long before the Civil War. After the 1844 murder of Mormon founder Joseph Smith by a mob in Carthage, Ill., his successor, Brigham Young, led the faithful to Salt Lake Valley in 1847. There they would establish Zion in the Great Basin that encompassed most of present-day Utah and Nevada. In Mormon doctrine, Zion refers to the place where people “pure of heart” will live together. Also known as the New Jerusalem, Zion is supposed to be built on the American continent, with Independence, Mo., identified as the specific location. But conflict in Missouri and Illinois, along with divine inspiration, led Brigham Young to move the Mormons to the Salt Lake Valley. Young declared the valley area “a first-rate place to raise Saints.” Furthermore, he insisted that if they lived worthily, the Lord would never allow them to be driven from the promised land, according to a July 1988 article in the Ensign, a church publication. Prior to their exodus West, Mormons had already created the largest militia in the United States: the Nauvoo Legion. Only the U.S. Army had more forces. Initially, Zion was centered in Salt Lake Valley, but it soon grew to encompass far more land. The Mormon land claims expanded under Brigham Young’s theocracy when he created a provisional state in 1849 called Deseret, stretching from Oregon to Arizona. This proposed megastate was never accepted by the federal government, which created the territory of Utah in 1850 encompassing only part of the proposed Deseret. Utah was granted statehood with its present boundaries in 1896. Thomas Murphy, chairman of the anthropology department at Edmonds Community College in Lynnwod, Wash., says Young declared Mormons had a divine right to claim the land. The right still resonates. “You see that claim of divine right echoed with the Bundys,” he says during an interview in his office. Murphy, who was once threatened with excommunication from the Mormon church for his research on the genetics of Native Americans that debunked the Mormon belief that natives are descendants of ancient Israelites, says the Bundy family appears to believe they are fulfilling God’s commands. “You see a righteous fury in the Bundy family, a sense that God is on their side,” he says. The Mormon historic claim of Zion bestowed upon the faithful by God now includes hundreds of millions of acres of public land controlled by the federal government, Quammen says. Bunkerville, Burns and Malheur fall within either the boundaries of the historic Mormon provisional state of Deseret or the spiritual lands of Zion. The tension between religious claims to a promised land and the legal and constitutional federal right of ownership of the same land can create conflict, especially when the Mormon affiliation with militias is added to the mix, Quammen says. “The public lands are still considered part of Zion,” she says. “And the Mormon militia has been a long-running, multigenerational idea in Mormon history.” (The Mormon church no longer has a militia.) The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (the official name of the Mormon church) has taken a two-pronged approach with the Bundys. On one hand, it publicly repudiated the Malheur refuge takeover after the Bundys and others repeatedly referred to Mormon scripture and inspiration from God as part of their justification for seizing the federal property. Ammon Bundy explained his God-inspired reasoning for coming to Harney County and requested other like-minded individuals to come to Harney County to challenge the federal government in a Jan. 1, 2016 video, the day before he led the takeover of the refuge. In the wake of the Malheur seizure, the church issued the following statement on Jan. 6, 2016: “While the disagreement occurring in Oregon about the use of federal lands is not a Church matter, Church leaders strongly condemn the armed seizure of the facility and are deeply troubled by the reports that those who have seized the facility suggest that they are doing so based on scriptural principles. This armed occupation can in no way be justified on a scriptural basis. We are privileged to live in a nation where conflicts with government or private groups can—and should—be settled using peaceful means, according to the laws of the land.” Mormon leaders, however, have not taken any public steps to excommunicate the Bundys from the church.

Ezra Taft Benson

Cliven Bundy told The Salt Lake Tribune that he “has never had a problem with the bishop,” referring to his local religious leader. Excommunications are usually matters handled at the local level. Murphy, who has firsthand experience in the Mormon excommunication process, says Mormon leaders do not want to cause a split in the church by excommunicating the Bundy family. “They fear they would lose a lot of local membership,” he says. “A lot of Mormons would be relieved because this is embarrassing. But a lot of Mormons might stand with the Bundys.”

The Skousen Connection

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In addition to the Mormon doctrine of divine right to the land, the Bundys have also embraced the teachings of a far-right, anti-communist Mormon conspiracy theorist named W. Cleon Skousen, who died in 2006. The Bundys and their militia supporters frequently carried copies of Skousen’s annotated, pocket-sized, old-English version of the U.S. Constitution published by a conservative organization called the National Center for Constitutional Studies during the Bunkerville, Malheur and Burns occupations, turning to it to justify their actions. Cliven Bundy even offers constitutional lessons via YouTube that are heavily tainted by Skousen’s beliefs. Skousen’s pocket Constitution includes a four-page preface of fragmented quotes from the Founding Fathers, several of which reference the importance of religion and morality and the gifts of Heaven. Constitutional scholars say some of the quotations are either deliberate alterations or taken out of context, The Los Angeles Times reported in a January 2016 story According to his obituary, Skousen worked for the FBI for 16 years under J. Edgar Hoover, taught a popular class at Brigham Young University, and published 46 books, including The Naked Communist, which has sold more than a million copies since 1958. Ironically, Skousen attracted considerable attention from the FBI for his extreme views and logged a 2,000-page file on his activities, including accusing President Dwight D. Eisenhower of being a Soviet agent. He also campaigned to eliminate the federal income tax, wanted to convert Social Security system to private retirement accounts, and opposed all federal regulatory agencies, including the Occupational Safety and Health Administration and the Environmental Protection Agency. He also wanted to repeal the minimum wage, eliminate unions, nullify anti-discrimination laws, remove barriers separating church and state and sell off the public lands and national parks. Skousen’s controversial political theories serve as an intellectual bridge among the Bundys’ Old West Mormonism, the far-right wing militias and the American lands movement’s efforts to transfer federal lands to local governments and private interests. The connection goes back decades. The National Center for Constitutional Studies, which has published 15 million copies of the Skousen-annotated Constitution, was founded by Skousen and later taken over by Utah businessman Bert Smith, who played a leading role in the first Sagebrush Rebellion in the 1970s, according to a 2016 profile in E&E News. Smith also donated $35,000 to help found the American Lands Council, an organization dedicated to facilitating the transfer of federal lands to the states, in 2012. American Lands Council is also funded by the Koch Brothers and taxpayer money allocated by county commissions, High Country News reported in a May 2015 exposé. “Smith’s influence in inciting these western anti-public lands and rancher revolts, particularly in Utah, cannot be overstated,” wrote Chris Zinda, a New Harmony, Utah, activist who monitors state and federal land issues for the St. George, Utah-based Independent. Another major Bundy influence is former Mormon church President Ezra Taft Benson, who also served in President Eisenhower’s cabinet as secretary of agriculture. As Matthew Bowman, the author of The Mormon People: The Making of an American Faith, wrote in a January 2016 column in Time Magazine: “Benson adopted an important Mormon concept of ‘free agency,’ which maintains all human beings are free to choose from right and wrong, and that the purpose of our lives on earth is to cultivate our moral insight and ability to choose good.” Benson, Bowman wrote, was one of the first to write that large government restricts free

Quammen says the arduous trek across the country by Mormon pioneers fleeing Nauvoo, Ill., after Smith’s murder and the failure of the federal government to protect Mormons from earlier violent persecution in Ohio, Missouri and Illinois left two long-lasting beliefs when they arrived in the Great Basin. “This was their Zion and they were going to do anything they could to protect it,” she says. “And, I would add, in addition to that they also landed there with a lot of hatred against the government.” Cliven Bundy claims his ancestors started grazing cattle in the late 19th century on desert in southeast Nevada near the Virgin River, just downstream from St. George, Utah, which was an early Mormon settlement in a region called Dixie. Quammen had an opportunity to visit the family’s ranch where she interviewed Cliven, Ammon and Ryan. A devout Mormon, Cliven Bundy has 14 children. Some Mormons, like the Bundys, continue to believe the lands within Zion are sacred and rightfully controlled by the descendants of the first Mormon pioneer families that put the land to “beneficial use” through grazing, Quammen says. “That was one of the first things that Cliven said to me,” Quammen points out. “The first Mormons were here and they had their horse and the horse takes a bite of grass and the moment they take a bite of grass, that’s the first beneficial use. In other words, once a natural resource provides sustenance to a horse or livestock, permanent rights to the renewable resource are created. Cliven Bundy himself made this claim, according to a January 2016 opinion column Quammen wrote for The New York Times. In it, she recounted that Cliven Bundy told her: “So now we have created them [rights] and we use them, make beneficial use of them, and then we protect them. And that’s sort of a natural law, and that’s what the rancher has done. That’s how he has his rights. And that’s what the range war, the Bundy war, is all about right now, it’s really protecting those three things: our life, liberty and our property.” Bundy’s claim that his rights to the land are established by creating “beneficial use” of the property through animal grazing is unsupported by federal law or Supreme Court rulings. He appears to be conflating Western water rights that are based, in part, on the seniority of the first person to put water to “beneficial use” establishing rights to the water. Cliven Bundy’s claim to property also ignores that fact that nearly all the land he was grazing his cattle on has been owned by the U.S. since it was ceded from Mexico in 1848 as part of the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo that ended the Mexican-American War. The land originally belonged to the Paiute tribes. Bundy only has title to 160 acres. Despite Bundy’s claim that his family had been grazing cattle in the area since the late 19th century, there’s no official record showing his family had legal title to land prior to 1948. Clark County Recorder documents posted by KLAS-TV show the 160-acre Bunkerville ranch Bundy calls home was purchased by his parents, David and Bodel Bundy, from Raoul and Ruth Leavitt on Jan. 5, 1948. The purchase included the transfer to the Bundys of certain water rights, including water from the nearby Virgin River. Cliven Bundy was born in 1946. Beyond that, the elder Bundy also accepted federal jurisdiction over the public grazing lands for decades and paid grazing fees on his Bunkerville federal allotment from 1973 through 1993. He ceased paying the fees after the Bureau of Land Management reduced the size of his allotment and the number of cattle that could be legally grazed in order to protect the endangered

Mojave desert tortoise. The bureau canceled his grazing permit in 1994, but Bundy continued to trespass his cattle on more than 1,200 square miles of Bureau and National Park Service land at the Lake Mead National Recreation Area. The ongoing encroachment led to the roundup of Bundy’s cattle that culminated with the armed standoff between Bundy, his militia supporters and federal law enforcement.

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Mormon Determination to Protect Zion

VIA LDS.ORG

Edmonds Community College professor Thomas Murphy, says federal land ownership in Utah is a source of significant conflict because it’s a tangible reminder of the federal government’s role in ending Brigham Young’s theocracy and eventually forcing the church to renounce polygamy in 1890.

Cliven Bundy repeatedly told land managers with the Bureau of Land Management that any effort to remove his cattle from public lands would be met with force. His threat continued a history of violent conflict between Mormons and non-Mormons and at times between Mormons and the federal government. The United States nearly went to war with the Mormons in 1858 in the so-called “Utah War.” Smithsonian Magazine writer David Roberts provides a comprehensive overview of the events leading up to the conflict in a June 2008 feature story on the 150th anniversary of the little-known conflict. “The Utah War culminated a decade of rising hostility between Mormons and the federal government over issues ranging from governance and land ownership to plural marriage and Indian affairs, during which both Mormons and non-Mormons endured violence and privation,” Roberts wrote. Armed conflict was averted when Mormon church President and Utah Territorial Governor Young agreed to allow the federal government to appoint a non-Mormon as governor. The year before the Utah War, the most notorious clash between a Mormon militia and non-Mormons occurred in southern Utah when a militia brutally murdered 120 Arkansas men, women and children at the Mountain Meadows Massacre. They were executed after being convinced to surrender their guns. The church tried to cover up its association with the murders for nearly 150 years, blaming it instead on a Native American tribe. In 2007 the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints officially blamed local church leaders in Cedar City, Utah, for the September 1857 massacre and stated that then-church President Young sent a message not to harm the emigrants, but it arrived too late. Some historians theorize Young ordered the attack, but they acknowledge there is no proof. Richard Turley, assistant historian of the church and coauthor of Massacre at Mountain Meadows, told National Public Radio in a 2008 interview that the slaughter of the unarmed men, women and children, some of whom were begging for their lives when they were killed, shows how quickly atrocities can unfold. “These people who carried out the massacre were in many ways ordinary … individuals who got caught up in emotion,

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A History of Violence

caught up in the circumstances of their times and began to make decisions that led to committing an atrocity,” Turley said. “And what was disturbing about that was the realization that the difference between ordinary people like us and these people who committed atrocity was really a short distance.” At the time of the massacre, church leaders feared the federal government planned to take control of the Mormon-controlled territory and stamp out the widespread Mormon practice of polygamy. Mormon leaders warned that the incoming settlers traveling on the Arkansas wagon train could be working with the army in the days leading up to the massacre. Overt violent conflict between the Mormon church and federal authorities has largely been supplanted by a struggle over control of public lands. The federal government owns 65 percent of the land in Utah. The Utah Legislature remains dominated by Mormons (88 percent) and is supporting the transfer of federal land to state control. The Legislature passed the Transfer of Public Lands Act and Related Study in 2012, seeking to force the federal government to turn over much of its public lands to the state. At the federal level, Sen. Orrin Hatch and Congressman Rob Bishop, both Mormons, have sponsored federal legislation to turn over public lands to the state. Murphy, the Edmonds Community College professor, says federal land ownership in Utah is a source of significant conflict because it’s a tangible reminder of the federal government’s role in ending Brigham Young’s theocracy and eventually forcing the church to renounce polygamy in 1890. “It is the federal government through its control of public lands that is still preventing Mormons from realizing this vision,” he says. More than 160 years after the Mountain Meadows Massacre, and after decades of resentment toward federal control of public lands, Cliven Bundy first clashed with the federal government at Bunkerville. Guided by religious inspiration and a Skousen-influenced constitutional claim to the land, Cliven Bundy whipped up fear of an oppressive federal government to rally a militia to his Nevada ranch. Militia members pointed high-powered rifles at federal employees attempting to execute a court order authorizing the removal of Bundy’s cattle from federal land. The margin for a mistake that could have triggered bloodshed was razor thin. Shortly after the federal government released the cattle and withdrew from the area, Ammon Bundy acknowledged that the militia was used to instill fear in the federal employees. “We did have militia and weapons, and that was important because [the federal officers] didn’t know whether or not we were going to fire on them,” Ammon Bundy says in a video that was presented as evidence by federal prosecutors in a case against Bunkerville defendant Scott Drexler, who pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor charge last month.

All Eyes Turn to Vegas

MULTNOMAH COUNTY JAIL

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agency. “He and the Bundys after him believe that government is not merely inefficient, but an inherent moral hazard,” he wrote. The Bundys’ constitutional interpretations take a simplistic, literal reading of the Constitution and often ignore a body of Supreme Court decisions that run contrary to their arguments, particularly in regard to whether the federal government has a right to own vast tracts of land. “These folks are very constitutional based, but only on the part of the Constitution that they like,” says Sheriff Ward, who had “eight to 10” hours of often tense conversations with Ammon Bundy on the Constitution and the role of federal government and religion. Ward says when he attempted to explain his views on the Constitution and religion, Ammon Bundy would get angry. Bundy, Ward says, continued to pressure him to “change my stance” and made “quite a few threats” that were generally “vague.” This was just a prelude to a deluge of emailed death threats from anonymous email accounts. Some threatened Ward with hanging if he didn’t knuckle under, he says. “There were blatant death threats that I forwarded to the FBI,” he says. Walker, the University of Oregon professor, is convinced Ammon Bundy’s constitutional philosophy is traced to Skousen. “When you listen to Ammon Bundy talk about the Constitution, it’s almost word-for-word from stuff Skousen had written,” he says. And while Benson was wary of big government, he also served in the federal government at the highest level as a cabinet secretary. Cliven Bundy has taken Benson’s cautious view of big government much further. “Bundy basically says he does not believe in the federal government. It just doesn’t exist,” Quammen says. “He believes in the county. He believes in the sheriff. He believes in ‘we the people.’ But he doesn’t believe in the federal government.”

While many in Burns are trying to put the Bundy/militia occupation behind them, community leaders, including former county judge Steve Grasty and Sheriff Dave Ward, are hoping that justice is finally served in Las Vegas. And by justice, they mean that the Bundys and their supporters should be held accountable for their actions during the Bunkerville standoff. Ward says he “was very disappointed” after Ammon and Ryan Bundy and five others were acquitted in federal court for their role in the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge takeover. He worries that if they’re acquitted again, it would send a dangerous signal to them and their supporters, including the militias, that “there is even less accountability than they thought there was at the beginning.” Grasty is still bitter over the trauma inflicted on his community by the Bundys and their supporters. “I have a hard spot in my heart for Ammon Bundy and his friends,” he says. The importance of the Las Vegas trial cannot be understated, he adds. “If they are found guilty, the system has run its course, and it does put others on notice that this model is not a good model to follow,” Grasty says. “There has to be a better model to follow. Armed insurrection isn’t the way to do it.” CW A version of this article appeared in The Revelator

Salt Lake Acting Co.: The True Story of the Three Little Pigs

TODD KEITH

“The West” exists at a nexus of mythology and reality—a story America tells itself about its trail-blazing spirit, and a history of cruelty and displacement for Native peoples. Both ideas emerge in the touring exhibition Go West!, curated by Cody, Wyo.-based Buffalo Bill Center of the West The exhibit marks the first touring exhibition for the Utah Museum of Fine Arts since its post-renovation re-opening—and a fitting one, according to Leslie Anderson, UMFA’s curator of European, American and regional art. “The UMFA is deeply committed to preserving and promoting the art of our home region,” Anderson says. “This traveling exhibition allows [us] to tell a more comprehensive and nuanced story of the visual culture of the West.” Included among the works in Go West! are pieces by celebrated European-American artists like Thomas Moran, Rosa Bonheur and Frederic Remington (whose 1899 oil painting “Buffalo Bill in the Limelight” is pictured). Additionally, artistic creations by Plains Indians provide a different perspective on our notion of America’s West. “Go West! examines the evolving notion of the American West relative to the experiences of the region’s inhabitants over the course of a century,” Anderson says. In conjunction with the museum’s exhibition, a series of free public programs throughout its run provide additional perspectives on the West, including lectures, gallery tours and the Utah Symphony’s performance accompanying the classic film High Noon. (SR) Go West! Art of the American Frontier from the Buffalo Bill Center of the West @ Utah Museum of Fine Arts, 410 Campus Center Drive, 801-581-7332, Dec. 3-March 11, $15.95-$18.95, umfa.utah.edu

Go West! Art of the American Frontier from the Buffalo Bill Center of the West

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“This is the story you wanted to write; well tonight is the night that you can.” —“Once and For All,” from Newsies. News organizations have received extra attention and scrutiny during the past year for a variety of reasons. The press’ relationship to power has been examined, with media outlets alternately described as dominant or defenseless, depending on who is talking about which news organization. Given that climate, Pioneer Theatre Co.’s upcoming show is clearly relevant. The stage musical version of Newsies— including catchy tunes like “Seize the Day” from legendary composer Alan Menken—is based on the 1992 Disney movie by the same name, which pivots around the historical newsboy strike of 1899. During that strike, New York City newsboys—who made meager livings selling newspapers on the streets—were protesting a rise in the prices they paid to buy the papers they then sold. Told through songs and engaging characters, the movie contained a few adjustments to the true-life event it draws from, including the name of the boy behind the unionizing. Similarly, the musical deviates some from the movie, with the addition of journalist character Katherine replacing the corresponding one from the movie. What all these stories maintain is a sense of injustice and a need to fight against it. Fair treatment, better recognition of people whose voices had previously been ignored, and the power of a news story are prominent—just as they are in the world today. (Casey Koldewyn) Newsies @ Pioneer Theatre, 300 S. 1400 East, 801-581-6961, Dec. 1-20, dates and times vary, $42-$64; kids grades K-12 half-price Mondays and Tuesdays, pioneertheatre.org

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SUNDAY 12/3

Pioneer Theatre Co.: Newsies

For nine years, Salt Lake Acting Co. has made its holiday musical production a family-friendly occasion. As director Penelope Caywood prepares for this year’s show—The True Story of the Three Little Pigs—she continues to apply lessons she’s learned about creating a show with all-ages appeal. “The pacing of the show becomes crucial,” Caywood says, “that it moves clearly and yet quickly. … On the other hand, I try to make it something anybody would like to see. I try to make it clear to the actors: We’re doing a real professional show.” Yet while Caywood wants the production to hold kids’ attention, it’s also important that the story offer something that resonates with them. In the case of True Story, there’s an attempt to teach children about looking at a familiar story from a different point of view— even that of a perceived “villain” in a narrative focused on the trial of the Big Bad Wolf, with audience members ultimately serving as the jury. “If they can connect in some way, that’s what I’m looking for,” Caywood says. “Putting yourself in other people’s shoes, and how to have empathy.” The production also performs before more than 1,500 students at Title 1 schools in Utah, which offers the chance for valuable feedback on whether the show is working. “We hear it as they’re going out the door,” Caywood says. “‘I didn’t like this, I liked that costume.’ And if I can hear people humming that last song as they leave, I know it worked.” (Scott Renshaw) The True Story of the Three Little Pigs @ Salt Lake Acting Co., 168 W. 500 North, 801-363-7522, Dec. 1-29, dates and times vary, $16-$26, saltlakeactingcompany.org

FRIDAY 12/1

While they might not receive the same level of disdain usually accorded mimes, jugglers and fortune tellers, ventriloquists and puppeteers generally don’t fare much better. Audiences tend to focus on seeing if their lips move, and often little else. Comedian/puppeteer Jeff Dunham has been honing his craft since he was in grade school, and might be one of the most popular entertainers in the world—as well as one of the best-paid—but he’s not immune to criticism and controversy. His audiences find him flatout hilarious, and his cast of hand-operated characters has fanatical fans of their own. But when he graduated to bigger arenas, some suggested he should limit his performances to more intimate environs. After all, how do you know his lips aren’t moving when you’re way back in the balcony? Likewise, in an era where violence and hatred are so pervasive, it’s hard for some to find humor in a suicide bomber (Achmed the Dead Terrorist), a bigot (Walter) or flagrant stereotypes (Bubba J and José Jalapeño). Time Magazine complained that all his puppets are “politically incorrect, gratuitously insulting and ill-tempered.” Likewise, The Hollywood Reporter insisted that Dunham’s characters are “racist, sexist and homophobic.” The Muppets, they’re not. Lambchop and Howdy Doody were decidedly more family-friendly. Still, Dunham has something his predecessors lacked, which is a generally infectious brand of humor. It’s so witty, wacky and outrageous that Dunham himself often seems to be amused. Then again, why not laugh along? Or better yet, share the laughter as well? (Lee Zimmerman) Jeff Dunham @ Eccles Theater, 131 S. Main, 801-355-2787, Nov. 30-Dec. 1, 7 p.m., $56, artsaltlake.org

FRIDAY 12/1

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Jeff Dunham

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THURSDAY 11/30

ENTERTAINMENT PICKS, NOV. 30-DEC. 6 2017

BUFFALO BILL CTR. OF THE WEST

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the

Dressed to Thrill

Ballet West prepares to debut a re-designed Nutcracker. BY KATHERINE PIOLI comments@cityweekly.net

reating new costumes for a ballet production is a highly collaborative process. The artistic director develops a vision; he knows what feeling the ballet should produce, as well as specifics such as the time period the costuming should recreate. The job of interpreting that vision, however, is left to the costume designer. At Ballet West, Artistic Director Adam Sklute and Director of Costume Production David Heuvel have spent the past two years recreating more than 180 costumes for the company’s beloved Nutcracker performances. Funded through a $3-million grant from the George S. and Dolores Doré Eccles Foundation, the renovated production includes 24 new colorful sets, nearly 200 polished props and updated special effects, but replacing the costumes, which had become faded and worn after nearly three decades of use, is one project that was undertaken entirely in-house. Together, Sklute and Heuvel worked from concept to costume fitting—“I often do go to the fittings. Making sure the line fits the body is very important,” Sklute says—to bring this vision all the way to opening night on Dec. 2. Heuvel, with an accent that to many ears might sound English, actually began his behind-the-scenes theater career in his home country of South Africa. “I worked in the opera house, and I very quickly became head of the ballet shop. Ballet has been my main focus ever since,” he told filmmaker Brent Rowland in a RadioWest short film that went inside Heuvel’s workshop during preparations for the company’s 2013 production of The Firebird. A large part of Heuvel’s professional life has been devoted to Ballet West; he is one of only a handful of the company’s employees who has worked with all five artistic directors. Along with his small four-person team, Heuvel creates nearly everything dancers wear on stage. Costumes have always been an important part of ballet’s spectacle, and often no expense is spared. Each new Nutcracker tutu from Heuvel’s shop is hand-sewn. If you were to unravel the layers of ruffled and pleated tulle, the fabric of each tutu would stretch 16 yards; the most opulent of them are adorned with 806 Swarovski crystals. With all this hand-stitched detail, each piece represents about 40 hours of

BEAU PEARSON

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THEATER

work, and $8,000 in materials and accoutrements. From the early origins of the art—during the Italian and French Renaissance to the performing stages of 17th century Paris, Venice and Hamburg—ballet has always reflected the luxury of royal courts. Research and costume collections from the Victoria & Albert Museum in London shows that the first tutus were modest pieces—calflength cascades that all but hid a dancer’s lower body—but they were often made of silk and other expensive materials. As the 19th century progressed, according to the museum’s written material, the skirts became shorter, eventually evolving into the classic horizontal tulle plate that shows off dancers’ increasingly technical footwork and turns. Heuvel’s creations might at times be detailed and glamorous, but he has a strong philosophy that never puts his own work ahead of the dancers’ art. Talking with Rowland, Heuvel recalled a formative moment with Ballet West founder Willam Christensen. “Mr. C said one night, ‘We are here to do ballet, not costumes.’ He said it to a designer, and that stuck with me. I understood what he was saying. You mustn’t encumber the dancer with too much costume because it limits what they can do.” For those who resist change and lament the renovation of this classic production, Sklute points out Ballet West’s long-standing tradition of such creative redesigns—a commitment, really, to ensuring the best possible viewer experience. The Nutcracker choreography that Utah audiences are familiar with was first staged by Willam Christensen in San Francisco in 1944. Later, he brought this version to Utah, where he

Artists of Ballet West in The Nutcracker

started Ballet West. During Christensen’s tenure with the company, he oversaw four different costume and set redesigns. Interestingly, Sklute’s latest artistic modernization of the ballet actually draws the dance closer to its 19th-century roots. Originally a short one-act ballet, The Nutcracker opened in 1892, one week before Christmas, for a sold-out audience at the Maryinsky Theater in St. Petersburg, Russia—where it received terrible reviews. But for the past few decades, most ballet companies—including Ballet West—have used costuming that sets The Nutcracker around the turn of the 20th century; think of the opening party scene with men in long coats and women in heavy, long-sleeved dresses. This production, Sklute says, “will have a much more Victorian feel, down to the waistline of women’s dresses. We wanted to be sticklers about the time period, especially during the party scene.” But in the second act, when Clara visits the magical dream-world of the nutcracker, Sklute promises that creative fancy is let loose. Costumes from the sugarplum fairies to Spanish dancers to Mother Ginger and her children enhance a fantasy world full of color and delight. CW

BALLET WEST: THE NUTCRACKER

Capitol Theater 50 W. 200 South 801-355-2787 Dec. 2-30 $19-$87 balletwest.org

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NOVEMBER 30, 2017 | 19

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Virginia Johnson explores contemporary expectations for womanhood through her distinctive portrait style in the exhibition Meditations on Ennui at Anderson-Foothill Library (1135 S. 2100 East, 801-594-8611, slcpl.org), through Jan. 11.

PERFORMANCE

20 | NOVEMBER 30, 2017

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1147 E. Ashton Ave Salt Lake City , ut 801.484.7996

pibsexchange.com Costumes Year Round Wigs, Make-up & Hats Over 600 Ugly Sweaters

Aida Hale Center Theater, 3333 S. Decker Lake Drive, West Valley City, through Jan. 20, times vary, hit.org Amahl and the Night Vistors Grand Theatre 1575 S. State, Nov. 30-Dec. 2, times vary, grandtheatrecompany.com The Best Christmas Pageant Ever CenterPoint Legacy Theatre, 525 N. 400 West, Centerville, 801-298-1302, through Dec. 16, ThursdaySaturday, 7 p.m., centerpointtheatre.com The Bodyguard, Eccles Theater, 131 S. Main, Dec. 5-10, times vary, arttix.artsaltlake.org The Bridges of Madison County Eccles Theater Regent Street Black Box, 131 S. Main, through Dec. 10, dates and times vary, artsaltlake.org A Bundle of Trouble Hale Center Theatre, 3333 S. Decker Lake Drive, West Valley City, through Nov. 30, days and times vary, hct.org A Christmas Carol Heritage Theatre, 2505 S. Highway 89, Perry, 435-723-8392, through Dec. 15, 2, 7:30p.m., heritagetheatreutah.com A Christmas Carol Hale Center Theater, 225 W. 400 North, Orem, through Dec. 23, dates and times vary, haletheater.org Christmas Vacation: The Polarized Express Desert Star Theatre, 4861 S. State, Murray, 801-266-2600, through Dec. 30, desertstar.biz A Fairly Potter Christmas Carol The Ziegfeld Theater, 3934 Washington Blvd., Ogden, Dec. 2-23, dates and times vary, theziegfeldtheater.com Forever Plaid: Plaid Tidings Covey Center for the Arts, 425 W. Center St., Provo, through Dec. 23, times vary, coveycenter.org Jack and the Beanstalk Noorda Theatre & Box Office, 800 W. University Parkway, Orem, Dec. 1-2, 2 & 6:30 p.m., uvu.edu The Little Prince The Art Factory, 211 W. 2100 South, through Dec. 23, Friday-Saturday, 7:30 p.m., sackerson.org Newsies Pioneer Memorial Theater, 300 S. 1400 East, 801-581-6961, Dec. 1-20, Friday-Saturday, 7:30 p.m.; Monday-Thursday, 7 p.m.; Saturday matinee, 2 p.m., pioneertheatre.org (see p. 17) Star Ward Christmas Off Broadway Theatre,

272 S. Main, 801-355-4628, through Dec. 23, 7:30p.m., theobt.org The True Story of the 3 Little Pigs Salt Lake Acting Co., 168 W. 500 North, Dec. 1-29, dates and times vary, saltlakeactingcompany.org (see p. 17) White Rabbit Red Rabbit Kingsbury Hall, 1395 E. Presidents Circle, through Dec. 2, times and dates vary, tickets.utah.edu

DANCE

Ballet West: The Nutcracker Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 200 South, Dec. 2-30, dates and times vary, balletwest.org (see p. 18) Odyssey Dance Theatre: The ReduxNUTCracker Val A. Browning Center for the Performing Arts, 1901 University Circle, Ogden, Dec. 1-2, 7:30 p.m., odysseydance.com Tooele Valley Academy of Dance: The Snow Queen Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, Dec. 4, 7 p.m., artsaltlake.org

CLASSICAL & SYMPHONY

Celebrate Libby Gardner Hall 1375 E. Presidents Circle, Dec. 4, 7:30 p.m., utahchamberartisits.org Utah Symphony: Saint-SaĂŤns Organ Symphony Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple, Dec. 1-2, 7:30 p.m., artsaltlake.org

COMEDY & IMPROV

Cory Michaelis Wiseguys Ogden, 269 25th St., Dec. 1-2, 8 p.m., 21+, wiseguyscomedy.com Jeff Dunham Eccles Theater, 131 S. Main, 801355-2787, through Dec. 1, 7 p.m., live-at-the-eccles.com (see p. 17) Jon Reep Wiseguys SLC, 194 S. 400 West, through Dec. 2, times vary, 21+, wiseguyscomedy.com Tom Clark Wiseguys Jordan Landing, 3763 W. Center Park Drive, West Jordan, Dec. 1-2, 7 & 9:30 p.m., 21+, wiseguyscomedy.com

LITERATURE AUTHOR APPEARANCES

C. M. Wendelboe: Hunting the Five Point Killer Weller Book Works, 607 Trolley Square, Dec. 6, 6:30 p.m., wellerbookworks.com

Emily Arnold McCully: Mirette on the Highwire The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, Dec. 3., 2 p.m., kingsenglish.com Erin Summerill: Ever the Brave Provo Library, 550 N. University Ave., Dec. 5, 7 p.m., kingsenglish.com Jennifer Adams: The Nutcracker: A BabyLit Dancing Primer The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, Dec. 2, 11 a.m., kingsenglish.com Jennifer Nielsen: The Traitor’s Game North Logan Library, 475 E. 2500 South, Logan, Dec. 1, 6:30 p.m., kingsenglish.com Lisa Mitzel: Focused and On Fire The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, Dec. 5., 7 p.m., kingsenglish.com

SPECIAL EVENTS FARMERS MARKETS

Rio Grande Winter Market Rio Grande Depot, 300 S. Rio Grande St., through April 21, Saturdays, 10 a.m.-2 p.m., slcfarmersmarket.org Christkindlmarkt SLC This Is the Place Heritage Park, 2601 Sunnyside Ave., 801-582-1847, through Dec. 2, 11 a.m.-8 p.m., christkindlmarkt-slc.com

FESTIVALS & FAIRS

SEASONAL EVENTS

The Urban Indian Center of Salt Lake Presents:

The 28th Annual Native American Holiday Arts Market December 2 & 3, 2017 Saturday: 10:00 am to 6:00 pm Sunday: 10:00 am to 5:00 pm Vendors will be offering both traditional and contemporary Native American goods including jewelry, pottery, paintings and more.

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Trees of Diversity 2017 Utah Cultural Celebration Center, 1355 W. 3100 South, West Valley, through Dec. 30, Monday-Thursday, 9-6 p.m., culturalcelebration.org Utah Winter Faire Davis Legacy Events Center, 151 S. 1100 West, Farmington, Dec. 1-3, utahwinterfaire.com

16th Annual Holiday Open House Red Butte Garden 300 Wakara Way, Dec. 2-3, 10-5 p.m., redbuttegarden.org A Little Jazz with Your Mistletoe Rose Wagner Center 138 W. 300 South, through Dec. 1, 7:30 p.m., artsaltlake.org Beehive Statesmen Barbershop Choir Christmas Concert Utah Cultural Celebration Center, 1355 W. 3100 South, Dec. 4, 7:30 p.m., culturalcelebration.org Breakfast With Santa Thanksgiving Point, 3003 N. Thanksgiving Way, Lehi, 801-7682300, Dec. 2, 9, and 16, 9 a.m.-11 a.m., thanksgivingpoint.org Brunch with Santa Sheraton Salt Lake City Hotel, 150 W. 500 South, 801-401-2000, Dec. 2, 9 & 16, 10 a.m.-2 p.m., sheratonsaltlakecityhotel.com/brunch-with-santa Christmas in Color Provo Towne Center, 1200 Towne Center Blvd., Provo, through Dec. 30, Monday-Thursday, 5:30 p.m.-10 p.m.; FridaySaturday, 5:30 p.m.-11 p.m., christmasincolor.net Christmas in Color Salt Lake Equestrian Park, 2100 W. 11400 South, South Jordan, through Dec. 30, Monday-Thursday, 5:30 p.m.10 p.m.; Friday-Saturday, 5:30 p.m.-11 p.m., christmasincolor.net Christmas in the Wizarding World The Shops at South Town, 10450 S. State, Sandy, through Jan. 31, shopsatsouthtown.com Lower Lights Christmas Concert Kingsbury Hall 1395 Presidents Circle, Dec. 4-9, 7 p.m., tickets.utah.edu Luminaria: Experience the Light Thanksgiving Point, 3003 N. Thanksgiving Way, through Dec. 30, thanksgivingpoint.org The Nutcracker Experience Orem City Library,

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58 N. State, Orem, Dec. 2, 4-6 p.m., oremlibrary.org ZooLights Hogle Zoo, 2600 Sunnyside Ave., Dec. 1-31, hoglezoo.org

VISUAL ART GALLERIES & MUSEUMS

Mon - Sat 8am to 6pm • 9275 S 1300 W 801-562-5496 • glovernursery.com

34th Annual Holiday Craft Market Finch Lane Gallery, 1340 E. 100 South, Dec 1-19 , 8-5p.m., saltlakearts.org Annual Statewide Juried Exhibition Rio Gallery, 300 S. Rio Grande St., through Jan. 12, heritage.utah.gov Artist/Dad Alice Gallery, 617 E. South Temple, through Jan. 12, heritage.utah.gov Cities of Conviction UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, through Jan. 6, utahmoca.org Cookie Allred: The Color of Places Corinne and Jack Sweet Library, 455 F St., 801-594-8651, through Dec. 20, slcpl.org David N. LeCheminant: Morning Walk Main Library, 210 E. 400 South, 801-524-8200, through Jan. 5, slcpl.org Drew Grella: I Would Rather Wear a Cape Main Library, 210 E. 400 South, 801-524-8200, through Jan. 5, slcpl.org Go West! Art of the American Frontier from the Buffalo Bill Center of the West Utah Museum of Fine Arts, 410 Campus Center Drive, Dec. 3-March 11, umfa.utah.edu (see p. 17) Holiday Group Exhibit Art Access Gallery, 230 S. 500 West, No. 125, through Dec. 15, accessart.org

Ilse Bing Utah Museum of Fine Arts, 410 Campus Center Drive, through Dec. 31, umfa.utah.edu Jaime Salvador Castillo & Michael Anthony Garcia: whereABOUTS UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, through Dec. 9, utahmoca.org Jerry Hardesty: Doublespeak Marmalade Library, 280 W. 500 North, 801-594-8680, through Dec. 29, slcpl.org Karen Horne: Ballet To Tango Exploring the Art of Dance Horne Fine Art, 142 E. 800 South, 801-533-4200, through Dec. 23, hornefineart.com Kristina Lenzi: Alien Matters Main Library, 210 E. 400 South, 801-524-8200, through Jan. 5., slcpl.org Las Hermanas Iglesias: Here, Here Utah Museum of Fine Arts, 410 Campus Center Drive, 801-581-7332, through Jan. 28, umfa.utah.edu Lesly Abalos-Ambriz: 24: Is This Lesly? Chapman Library, 577 S. 900 West, 801-5948623, through Dec. 27, slcpl.org Seeing the Sacred Urban Arts Gallery, 137 S. Rio Grande St., through Dec. 3, urbanartsgallery.org Virginia Johnson: Meditations on Ennui Anderson Foothill Library, 1135 S. 2100 E., 801-594-8611, through Jan. 11, slcpl.org (see p. 20) Winter Group Show Phillips Gallery, 444 E. 200 South, through Jan. 12, phillips-gallery.com Winter Scenes and Holiday Dreams Utah Cultural Celebration Center, 1355 W. 3100 South, West Valley City, through Dec. 30, culturalcelebration.org

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Contemporary Spreading Japanese the Love Dining Amour Café creates simple yet scrumptious fare.

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18 MARKET STREET • 801.519.9595

BY TED SCHEFFLER comments@cityweekly.net @critic1

’ll always remember the first time I tasted jam made by Salt Lake City’s Amour Spreads. It was during a “meet the producers” shindig at the Swaner Preserve and EcoCenter, a 1,200-acre nature preserve on the edge of Park City’s Newpark development. I recall it vividly, because I’d never tasted jam as vibrant and delicious as Amour Spreads’ pear lavender. I was instantly hooked. John and Casee Francis’ jam, jelly and marmalade business began with love— amour is love in French, of course—literally, at its inception. The couple was hiking during their honeymoon in Idaho and came across a 6-foot-high thimbleberry bush. “There were berries everywhere, on both sides of the road,” John Francis says. They took the fruit they foraged, did a little research on the internet and began making jam in their cabin. Before long, the couple had made “three or 400 jars of jam” for friends, John says. What began as a hobby became Amour Spreads in 2011, after John left his job as an executive recruiter. The couple’s jam-making methods are also a labor of love, involving nothing more than fresh, natural ingredients, with all of the jams made by hand in copper pans. They now work with a variety of Utah farmers for their fruit supplies—everything from Bear Lake tangelos and blackberries to heirloom tomatoes grown by Casee herself. For years, John won awards for his fiddle-playing—like the Old Time Fiddlers National Finals Senior Champion. Now, he and Casee are winning awards for the remarkable jams, including a prestigious Good Food Award for their black currant

DEREK CARLISLE

DINE

Amour Café’s stracciatella affogato blackberry. When it comes to jam, they aren’t fiddling around. Last year, the Francises expanded their reach by opening Amour Café near Liberty Park. It reminds me a great deal of the owners themselves, and their approach to most things: It’s simple, but sensational. The airy, well-lit space would be right at home in Portland or Berkeley, right down to the salvaged 120-year-old church pews. The restaurant is open for breakfast and lunch, with a lean menu that demonstrates they’re not trying to be all things to all people—and yet, everything is appealing. There is a large selection of Bubble & Brown pastries, which can be enjoyed with a range of beverages from drip coffee to cappuccinos, cold brews and seasonal housemade Italianstyle sodas made with fresh fruit. I loved the fizzy, effervescent blackberry soda during a recent visit. The staff at Amour Café is both knowledgeable and unabashedly friendly, taking orders at the counter and delivering food to tables. My favorite menu item is the prosciutto plate ($9), one of three savory scrambled egg options; there’s also a pesto plate ($8) and cured salmon plate ($10). I have never—even in France—encountered eggs that were so fluffy. At Amour, they come three per order and are steam-scrambled, resulting in light, delicious eggs that aren’t greasy. The prosciutto plate comes with that trio of scrambled eggs with thin-sliced Creminelli prosciutto, whole wheat toast and house spreads. The café also dishes up one of the tastiest grilled cheese sandwiches ($7.50) I’ve gotten my lips around lately, served with their signature tomato jam. Try the soup and halfsandwich option for $9. On your way out, pick up a jar or two of Amour Spreads jams or marmalade, along with a scoop of housemade gelato for the full experience. CW

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Many fans of Este Pizza’s three Salt Lake Valley locations similarly became visitors to Este Deli, and were disappointed when the owners announced the closing of the 1702 S. Main location in April of this year. Finally, Este has found a new location—right next door to the City Weekly offices. Este Deli is scheduled to re-open at 238 S. Main in January, bringing back its menu of hot and cold East Coast-style hoagies, from specialty items to build-your-own options. Visit facebook.com/estedeli1 to keep updated on a specific opening date.

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Avenues Bistro Changes Hands

Social media posts confirmed some brief sad news: As of Nov. 19, Avenues Bistro on Third had ceased operations after five years. At press time, general manager Kathie Chadbourne had not responded to an email regarding the reasons for the closure, but the quirky neighborhood restaurant hadn’t always had an easy time. It was forced to close its patio in 2013 after it was determined that it wasn’t zoned for outdoor seating, and shuttered its basement speakeasy a few months later for not having a proper operating permit or firesuppression system. However, as of press time, the bistro’s Facebook page showed that the restaurant will reopen Dec. 1 under new owners.

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Arena Eats

It was an eventful off-season for the Utah Jazz—with the departure of All-Star forward Gordon Hayward—but also an eventful off-season for their home. Vivint SmartHome Arena underwent an extensive $125-million renovation, including a new box office and upholstered, cushioned seats. The food options also got an upgrade, with several new vendors ensuring that fans aren’t limited to traditional sports-venue fare. Among the new dining offerings: Provo-based Cubby’s burgers; Mexican food via Park City’s El Chubasco; hand-tossed pizzas from Maxwell’s; and R&R Barbecue, adding to its existing locations in Salt Lake City, South Jordan, Lehi and Farmington. See the full list at vivintarena.com

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Getting reacquainted with Bonneville Brewing Co. BY MIKE RIEDEL comments@cityweekly.net @utahbeer

hops in check and avoids becoming just another carbon copy IPA—definitely worth your time. Redline Red Ale: Red and copper dominate the hues here, as a fairly dense light khaki head forms a sturdy one finger of soapy foam. The nose has two basic combatants: citrus peel and pine. While these two duke it out, earthy and fruity malts subtly add balance. The taste begins with citrus peel, pine and grass; toasty biscuit and light toffee come next. These play off of the hops, creating a ghostly

berry flavor. There are zero cloying flavors after the finish, but there’s a fair amount of earthy pine bitterness, with lingering notes of pine, citrus and grass. The bottom line: Redline offers a solid balance of citrus hop and dark/bready malt sweetness—smooth and crisp for an ale. It’s a nicely enjoyable offering. These beers, in addition to dozens of other Bonneville varieties, are available on draft along the Wasatch Front, with bottled offerings in most area grocery and convenience stores. As always, cheers! CW

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

ith all of the new breweries popping up, it’s easy to forget about some of Utah’s steadfast originals that’ve been producing suds made by locals for locals for years. This week, I’d like to reacquaint you with Tooele’s Bonneville Brewing Co. People tend to think it’s practically in East Wendover, but it’s really only about 30 minutes west of Salt Lake City. Head Brewer Dave Watson has been creating textbook examples of craft beer there since 2013. If they’re not on your radar, you’re definitely missing out. Pilot Peak Pilsner: Pilsners are always a joy to pour. Their sunny golden hue brightens my mood every time I see it; even the ascending bubbles are akin to a Zen garden in a glass. The aromas here are classic pilsner, too. There are no trendy hops, just notes of floral and spicy whole-cone Noble ones. Malt shines first

BEER NERD

MIKE RIEDEL

A Taste of Tooele

on your palate and prominently features stale crackers, semi-sweet malt and crusty white bread. Those herbal and spicy grass undertones from the nose come in next, evening out the some of the more raw flavors from the grain bill. After the lager is washed clean, some residual drying from the toasty grains lingers, along with some of the more herbal aspects of the hops. Overall: This beer mimics the flavor qualities of more full-bodied pilsner interpretations. I give full props to Bonneville for staying on style, as opposed to making a lager and dumping IPA hops in it. It’s one of the better pilsners that you’re probably not drinking. Free Roller India Pale Ale: It has an orange tinged ruby color that’s topped with almost two fingers’ worth of fluffy off-white head, eventually dying down to a thin layer and dissipates to a slight bit of patchy lacing. I even got a dollop of foam on the tip of my nose from getting my big beak a little too close. No matter—the aroma is lightly floral, with pine and herbal hop scents. Doughy yeast soon takes over, building to biscuit malts. The taste takes its cues from the aroma, starting off with a medium amount of sweetness, with the hops being the first to show up. Herbal hops continue to stick out the most, with a bit of citrus and pine in tow. It finishes with medium bitterness with an herbal hop aftertaste. Overall: This is a nice-tasting India Pale Ale, which reminds me a lot of the IPAs that were all the rage a decade ago. It keeps the

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NOVEMBER 30, 2017 | 27

A sampler of our critic’s reviews

Soy’s scrumptious seaweed salad

Soy’s Sushi Bar & Grill

It’s the namesake of former Rice Basil owner/chef Ariunbold Batsaikhan (aka “Soy”), but the vibe here couldn’t be more different from his previous restaurant—vibrant and bustling, rather than dark and hushed. Start with the seaweed salad ($5), a scrumptious plate of julienned seaweed, cucumber, squid and sliced strawberry and avocado, seasoned with a light gingery sauce and sprinkled with white sesame seeds. Calcu rosé from the small but well-selected wine list paired beautifully with the delicate (and decadent) salmon belly in a subtle habanero sauce ($8). In the 10-piece “small” sashimi platter for $20, we were treated to an artistic arrangement of fresh, raw salmon, escolar, tuna and yellowtail, adorned with microgreens, fresh ginger, avocado slices and flying-fish eggs. I typically favor the straightforward, unadulterated flavors of nigiri and sashimi over more complex sushi rolls, but the Snowbird roll ($11)—yellowtail and jalapeño, topped with escolar and served with jalapeño vinaigrette—is an exception. Many traditional rolls are priced at a mere $4-$6, and the portions are generous. If you’d like to learn to make sushi yourself, Soy’s offers sushi-making classes every Saturday. Reviewed Oct. 12. 4923 S. State, Murray, 801-278-8682, soysushiutah.com

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28 | NOVEMBER 30, 2017

DEREK CARLISLE

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Start your dinner or lunch with some spicy guacamole—prepared at your table and paired with chips and salsa. For appetizers, try the hearty tortilla soup or crispy chicken taquitos. If you’re in the mood for seafood, try the salmón mancha manteles: The salmon is slow-cooked and served with crispy bananas and pineapple salsa. Or, go with the costillas al piquín: braised beef short ribs that come with spicy poblano peppers in cream and salsa. In addition to an array of Mexican beers, there’s a wide variety of tequilas and Latininspired cocktails that’ll pair well with your meal. 268 S. State, 801-779-4747, alamexo.com

Alamexo

Located in the Commons at Sugar House, Yellowfinn serves an eclectic array of Asian and international cuisines. The main draw, however, is professionally prepared sushi and sashimi. Also on the menu are sliders, wings and salads. Be sure to stop in for “hammertime specials,” featuring discounted rolls, appetizers, sake and Sapporo beer, served up in a cozy, contemporary ambiance. 1166 E. 2100 South, Salt Lake City, 801-466-2600, yellowfinnsushi.com

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The absence of Titanic knockoffs says something about an audience Hollywood doesn’t value. BY MARYANN JOHANSON comments@cityweekly.net @maryannjohanson

ecember 2017 marks the 20th anniversary of the release of what would become one of the most lucrative and most deliriously popular movies ever made: James Cameron’s Titanic. It should also mark the 20th anniversary of the beginning of a wave of Titanic clones—and it says something about the movie industry that there aren’t any. The epic romantic disaster drama debuted in U.S. cinemas on Dec. 19, 1997, and wouldn’t leave until October 1998, 41 weeks later. It earned $1.8 billion worldwide, and remained the biggest box-office hit ever until 2010—when it was supplanted by Cameron’s own Avatar. Titanic wasn’t just a huge hit; it was an inescapable phenomenon. Showings were sold-out well into early 1998, even with the film in saturation release, and it stayed at the top of the box-office charts for 15 consecutive weeks (still a record). The film was a critical success, too. It won the Oscar for best picture, and tied for the most Oscars won by a single film, with 11. In 2012, to commemorate the centenary of the sinking of the actual Titanic, the film was released and newly rejiggered for 3-D, earning another $300-millionplus globally and pushing its total box office take over $2 billion. Now, in honor of this landmark anniversary, Titanic is back in theaters for one week only, in a newly remastered edition. Expect sellouts again. I love Titanic. I’ve seen it countless times, and revisited it as a critic four times. I don’t think there’s a single movie I’ve written more about. And here’s a recurring irritation when I think about the film: Where are all the knockoffs? The film was “supposed” to be a huge flop, destined to be a legendary example of big-budget folly, doomed by Cameron’s out-of-control creative arrogance. But we all know what happens when a movie is a hit, especially if it’s an unexpected one, as Titanic was: Knockoffs. Lots of them, to the point where we get sick of ’em, even if some of the knockoffs are pretty good. It’s been a feature of the blockbuster era since 1977’s Star Wars, which spawned a lot of crap—including Italian schlock Star Crash and Battle Beyond the Stars, directed by

PARAMOUNT PICTURES

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30 | NOVEMBER 30, 2017

A Lack of the Clones

CINEMA

an uncredited Roger Corman—and some not-at-all-bad flicks like Disney’s The Black Hole and The Last Starfighter. We can also thank George Lucas for the existence of the 1970s TV series Battlestar Galactica. Some movies are so popular and so influential that they ignite what feels like entire subgenres: the “Alien Movie” (and then there were none, but in space); the found-footage horror flick, kicked off by 1999’s The Blair Witch Project; the “Toy Story Movie” (“let’s animate some inanimate objects and/or animals to amuse the kiddies”). Gladiator, 2000’s Oscarwinning best picture, started a sword-andsandals craze that still flourishes almost 20 years later, and the knockoffs keep getting made even when they flop, like 2012’s Wrath of the Titans ($83 million box office in the U.S. on a $150-million budget) or 2014’s Exodus: Gods and Kings ($65 million domestically on a $140-million budget). So it’s very mysterious indeed that we were never inundated with Titanic knockoffs. We should be absolutely sick to death of all the cash-ins, pseudo-remakes and imitators. Hollywood is a business, we who complain about the poor quality of much the industry’s output are constantly reminded: Hollywood is only out to make money. That’s the excuse we hear, particularly when we complain about the lack of movies about women: They don’t make money (although they do). But the evidence of Titanic and

Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet in 1997’s Titanic

Hollywood’s supposed business practices is clear. We should have been swamped with movies that tried to recapture its money-making magic. But we weren’t. Adventure romance amidst disaster and/ or big historical events? Messed-up woman who learns how to really live via a manic pixie dream boy (that’s what Jack Dawson is, after all)? There are so many possibilities here, and Hollywood completely ignored them. Is it because the female audience that spent so much time and money on the film was actively derided in the press? The phenomenon of the film received almost hysterical coverage, and we’ve heard of girls and women seeing the film a dozen times or more as if that were crazy, rather than indicating an underserved audience eating up a story that finally spoke to them. Did that only add to Hollywood’s usual disdain for stories about girls and women? Of course it’s true that if we had gotten a slew of ersatz Titanics, most of them would have completely misunderstood what made the film so appealing to its female audience. But the fact that the industry didn’t even try makes it tough to buy that movies are “just a business.” Not when Hollywood left so much money on the table simply to avoid telling more stories like Titanic. CW

NEW THIS WEEK Information is correct at press time. Film release schedules are subject to change. THE BREADWINNER BBB.5 Animation can tell any kind of story—and this glorious work of art is decidedly not for children. Director Nora Twomey (The Secret of Kells) and screenwriter Anita Doron adapt Deborah Ellis’ book, set in Taliban-era Kabul where a young girl named Parvana (Saara Chaudry) is forced to disguise herself as a boy to earn money for her family after her father (Ali Badshah) is arrested. The narrative doesn’t shy away from the brutality of its setting, emphasizing the violence and misogyny behind the religious façade of the regime while building a compelling character in the stubborn Parvana. Yet it also does things a live-action interpretation couldn’t do, like bringing to life a fanciful hero-quest story-within-the-story, filled with often-hilarious visual detail. Twomey allows silence to settle effectively over certain scenes, making something as simple as the peeling of an apple an effective character moment. Ambitious and thoughtful right up to a climax that intercuts between multiple settings with a sense of epic consequence, The Breadwinner is the year’s finest animated feature, with nary a CGI animal to be found. Opens Dec. 1 at Broadway Centre Cinemas. (PG-13)—Scott Renshaw

CURRENT RELEASES COCO BBB It’s possible there’s a specificity to this Pixar story that makes it harder for a white guy to connect with it emotionally—and maybe that’s just fine. In contemporary Mexico, young Miguel (Anthony Gonzalez) inadvertently visits the Land of the Dead, where a reunion with a relative might give him a chance to become the musician he longs to be. A sluggish opening act built around a too-familiar “parents just don’t understand” premise gives way to lively sequences in the Land of the Dead’s colorful metropolis. But while the details elevate material that could have seemed derivative, there’s also a sense that the emotional climax is built around a primacy of family ties distinctive to its cultural setting. There’s no question about the moment I’m supposed to be crying; perhaps those who actually cry grasp something that escapes me. (PG)—SR LAST FLAG FLYING BBBB In December 2003, former Vietnam War buddies “Doc” Shepherd (Steve Carell), Sal Nealon (Bryan Cranston) and Richard Mueller (Laurence Fishburne) reunite after Doc’s Marine son is killed in action in Iraq, and he becomes determined to bring him home to New Hampshire to be buried. The ensuing road trip makes for a melancholy reunion, and director Richard Linklater’s script (written with Darryl Ponicsan, upon whose novel this is based) is full poignant zingers about grief, duty and how one may “respect the troops” and still criticize America’s manipulation of patriotism. Mostly Linklater lets his exquisite cast do the heavy lifting, Carell and Fishburne are more subdued than we’ve seen; Cranston is funnier, full of a bittersweet joie de vivre, as if he refuses to let the weight of their own experience in a senseless war hang heavy over them. (R)—MAJ

CINEMA CLIPS MOVIE TIMES AND LOCATIONS AT

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NOVITIATE BBB.5 Writer/director Maggie Betts proves deeply respectful of religious tradition and the upheaval caused by progress in this story set in the early 1960s, where young Cathleen (Margaret Qualley) follows her calling to become a nun, just as the Catholic Church is initiating its post-Vatican II Council changes. Cathleen is an intriguing enough central character, as Betts explores the psychology of vocation, but the more fascinating story surrounds the convent’s Reverend Mother (Melissa Leo), who balks at reforms that shake the foundations of her world. While Leo might be an actor prone to grandiose performances, she’s superb here as a unique variation on the cinematic drill sergeant trope. Those two stories don’t always mesh neatly, and Betts perhaps packs in too many subplots. She nevertheless finds humanity in self-sacrificing devotion, and the emotional fallout of living in a changing world. (R)—SR THREE BILLBOARDS OUTSIDE EBBING, MISSOURI BBB.5 Mildred Hayes (Frances McDormand) rents three provocative billboards to nudge local police Chief Willoughby (Woody Harrelson) over the stalled investigation of her daughter’s rape and murder, offering the set-up for a movie about a scrappy underdog’s righteous crusade—except that writer/director Martin McDonagh has crafted a story built around the toxicity of anger, anchored in McDormand’s hard-edged, caustic performance. He takes the riskiest approach in the creation of Sam Rockwell’s racist cop, because in 2017 it feels like an act of artistic suicide to suggest that there’s hope for redemption in those who abuse power. But even when McDonagh’s big ideas bump up against our expectations of real-world behavior, there’s a grace and optimism here that could leave a lump in your throat. It takes a lot of nerve in these times to suggest that anger is rarely righteous. (R)—SR

TITANIC 20th anniversary re-release of the classic disaster/drama/romance. See feature p. 30. Opens Dec. 1 at theaters valleywide. (PG-13)

SPECIAL SCREENINGS LOVING VINCENT At Park City Film Series, Dec.1-2, 8 p.m.; Dec. 3, 6 p.m. (PG-13)

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FILM • FOOD • NEIGHBORHOOD BAR SHOWING: DECEMBER 1ST - DECEMBER 7TH

more than just movies at brewvies

THE MAN WHO INVENTED CHRISTMAS BBB This affable holiday biopic—perfect for a matinée with visiting relatives—covers the two months in 1843 in which Charles Dickens (Dan Stevens) wrote A Christmas Carol, and the condition in which he wrote it: panic, since his last three books were flops. He interacts with his imagined characters (including a fine

Christopher Plummer as Scrooge), which is less precious than it could have been, though the movie does delight overmuch in showing Dickens stumbling across familiar-to-us details (e.g. a ghostly waiter named Marley). Stevens cuts loose as Dickens, a theatrical fellow who does funny voices for his adoring children, and finds depth in his flaws. Without overselling it, director Bharat Nalluri underscores Dickens’ own Scrooge-like need for redemption (albeit on a much smaller scale), and delivers a warm, hearty yuletide tale in the process. (PG)—Eric D. Snider

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INDIVISIBLE BB Crossing genres is tough to pull off, as this admirably ambitious Italian film demonstrates. It doesn’t give us enough of a taste of any of the flavors it samples—including family dramedy, religious satire and freak-show horror—before it has moved on to another one. Eighteen-year-old conjoined twins Daisy and Viola sing beautifully, which their manager father (Massimiliano Rossi) is happy to take advantage of—and if the rubes believe there are healing powers in the miraculous girls, all the better. The young women are joined in such a way, however, that they could be easily separated, and now Daisy insists upon it; she wants her own life. But dad doesn’t want to lose his meal ticket, Viola doesn’t want to lose her sister and the local priest doesn’t want to lose his living icons. Real-life twins (of the unconjoined variety) Angela and Marianna Fontana as the sisters are delightful, but the movie swings wildly from pathos to sentiment to shock along the girls’ shared path to adulthood and independence, and the metaphor for growing up becomes strained and somewhat dissatisfying. Opens Dec. 1 at Broadway Centre Cinemas. (NR)—MaryAnn Johanson

SERVED LIKE A GIRL At Main Library, Dec. 5, 7 p.m. (NR)

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2 | NOVEMBER 30, 2017

TRUE BY B I L L F RO S T @bill_frost

Get Happy!

Happy! brings the weirdness to Syfy; Fuller House further erodes ’Merica.

he Only TV Column That Matters™ only needed to hear “from the creators of Crank” to be all-in for Happy! (series debut Wednesday, Dec. 6, Syfy). Based on the Image comic, Happy! follows disgraced excop Nick Sax (Christopher Meloni, killing his old Law & Order: SVU character once and for all), now a druggie fuck-up and assassin for hire. After being gunned down and left for dead, Nick awakens to a cartoon winged unicorn named Happy (voiced by Patton Oswalt) who needs his help in rescuing a little girl who’s been kidnapped by Santa Claus. Yep. Insanity, violence and a gonzo-command performance from Meloni ensue. Happy! is too bizarre to last long, so drink it in. What Vikings did for, well, Vikings, the new, terribly titled Knightfall (series debut Wednesday, Dec. 6, History) hopes to do for the Middle-Ages tale of the Knights Templar. The Knights were warrior monks charged with protecting Christian relics—most notably, the Cup of Christ, aka the Holy Grail, which they of course lost. Knightfall stars the requisite amount of beardy, semi-familiar British actors from period dramas like Downton Abbey, Spartacus and The Tudors, as well as basic-cable swordplay and sex, but it’s nowhere near the Vikings 2.0 or Game of Thrones-lite epic it thinks it is. The network’s companion videogame, Knightfall: Rivals, is more compelling. Not a good sign. Shut Eye (Season 2 premiere Wednesday, Dec. 6, Hulu), a dark dramedy about a Los Angeles crime syndicate of gypsy psychics, was one of 2016’s more interesting, if overlooked, streaming debuts. Charlie (Jeffrey Donovan, Burn Notice) is a cynical fortune-teller conman desperate to get out of the gypsies’ racket and start his own with his wife Linda (KaDee Strickland)—also, thanks to a head trauma, he might really be clairvoyant now. In Season 2, Charlie and Linda are still struggling to get away from the gypsy syndicate, while boss Rita (Isabella Rossellini) is under Fed investigation. Unlike other Hulu shows, all 10 episodes of Shut Eye are dropping at once (a see-the-future gag?). It was inevitable that Psych: The Movie (Thursday, Dec. 7, USA) would happen because, after all, the series ended three whole years ago—a lifetime in revival years. After eight seasons of wacky crime-solving in Santa Barbara, fake psychic Sean (James Roday) and partner Gus (Dulé Hill) relocated to San Francisco and renamed the business PsychPhrancisco (sure, why not?), but now the gang

(Maggie Lawson, Kirsten Nelson, Corbin Bernsen and, to a lesser extent, Tim Omundson) is reunited to bring down another mid-level bad guy. The details matter not; Psych: The Movie is full-tilt comfort-food fan service, and that’s not downplayed in the least. Bonus treat: A loving David Bowie tribute, personified by Zachary Levi (Chuck). Aside from Jean-Claude Van Damme himself, who exactly is Jean-Claude Van Johnson (series debut Friday, Dec. 15, Amazon Prime) for? This can’t be part of Amazon Prime’s “We’re the new HBO” plan … can it? Anyway: Jean-Claude Van Johnson is JCVD’s under-thought alias as an unhappily retired international superspy now forced to slum it as a Hollywood martial-arts star—can you smell the meta comedy? Jean-Claude Van Johnson is funnier, more action-packed and definitely more expensive-looking than it should be; a nice surprise, since this series is arriving to zero expectations, probably not even from the Prime members who’ve forgotten they upvoted it. I’ve worked as hard as I can to stop the scourge of stu-

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Happy! (Syfy) pid that is Fuller House (Season 3 winter premiere Friday, Dec. 22, Netflix), but ’Merica is apparently beyond saving. We’re now three—three!—seasons into the most moronic, soul-eating, 9/11-times-1,000 reboot that television has ever excreted, and the second half is dropping right before Christmas! Oh, the laugh-tracked humanity! This column launched in 1998, three years after the blessed demise of the original Full House; since then, I’ve tried to warn you away from hundreds upon hundreds of shit TV shows. It’s like you people aren’t even listening to me! Pay attention! I’m brilliant and fascinating! Argh! (Chokes on burrito, turns blue, falls forever silent …) CW Listen to Frost Mondays at 8 a.m. on X96 Radio From Hell, and on the TV Tan podcast via Stitcher, iTunes, Google Play and billfrost.tv.

CONCERT PREVIEW

Pair Trigger

MUSIC

Canadian buzz band Black Pistol Fire talk duo dynamics. BY HOWARD HARDEE comments@cityweekly.net

NOVEMBER 30, 2017 | 33

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BLACK PISTOL FIRE

Owen also chooses key moments to play low-end synthesizer lines with one hand while simultaneously keeping the beat going, adding a layer that makes up for the lack of bass guitar. Over the years, Owen has had a front-row seat watching McKeown evolve from a reserved performer to one of the most dynamic frontmen in modern rock. “As a teenager, Kevin was the craziest person ever,” Owen says. “And I mean that in a funny and wild sort of way; he was always trying to make people laugh and doing crazy stunts. When we started playing music, people would come see us play and say, ‘Wow, Kevin is shy on stage—that’s not what I expected.’ Slowly, the two sides of him kind of melded and that wild side of him has been harnessed on stage. He’s gotten more comfortable as a frontman.” Black Pistol Fire’s attention-grabbing, high-energy shows have taken the two longtime friends pretty far—from covering Weezer in a basement to opening for them at a Colorado music festival. And they’re still going strong. “It is very surreal,” Owen says, “and I couldn’t ask for a better person to do it with.” CW

Kevin McKeown of Black Pistol Fire

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CHARLES REAGAN

lenty of bands like to party after a big show—but not Black Pistol Fire. That’s because, according to drummer Eric Owen, the band uses every ounce of its energy on stage. “It really does take a lot out of us,” he says. The Canadian rock duo’s live shows are wild. At any given moment, frontman and guitarist Kevin McKeown is liable to leap off a stack of speakers, writhe around on the stage or surf the crowd, all while shredding white-hot rock ’n’ roll. Owen, meanwhile, is a max-effort drummer who appears intent on demolishing his kit. “None of that is forced at all,” Owen says. “That’s how it makes us feel. The music makes me want to hit the drums as hard as I can; it makes Kevin thrash around and go crazy. That adrenaline rush is so huge.” Black Pistol Fire is a new take on the long tradition of fast and filthy blues laid down by the likes of Led Zeppelin and Muddy Waters. As a two-piece, comparisons to The White Stripes and The Black Keys are often made. Black Pistol Fire definitely draws from the same toolbox—quiet-then-loud dynamics, guitar heroics and festival-leveling amplification—but with added dashes of Southern grit and fiery intensity thrown in. Speaking from his front porch in Austin, Texas, during a break in the band’s tour promoting their fifth album, Deadbeat Graffiti (Rifle Bird), Owen explains that he and McKeown go way, way back—in fact, all the way to grade school in Toronto. “We went to kindergarten together,” he says. “I was one of those kids that pulled their pants all the way down to their ankles to pee instead of just going through the fly, and my first memory of Kevin is him pointing and laughing at me while I was doing that.” The two started playing music together in high school. For their first-ever performance, they played a shoddy cover of Marilyn Manson’s version of the Eurythmics’ “Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” for their class. For years, they jammed The Beatles, Nirvana and Weezer as a trio, playing with different bassists, and started making original music in their early 20s. “We started doing the duo thing because we always wrote songs like that,” Owen explains, “and then we just started jamming and figuring out how that works. It wasn’t a conscious decision to be a duo; it just kind of happened.” The two have since discovered that the simplicity of being a twosome has its benefits. They use less gear, so less can go wrong during shows, and afterward they split the pay 50/50. Decision-making is relatively easy as well—either they’re both on board, or they do something else—and so is the creative process, with McKeown acting as the driving force and Owen following along. “A small percentage of our show is improvisational and based on feel, so it’s a lot easier to do that when there’s only two people to get on the same page,” Owen says. “It doesn’t always work, but we can usually sense where the other person is going.” With just two sets of hands and feet on stage, it can be tricky making enough noise. It helps to crank up the volume on Owen’s kick drum to stadium-stomping status, and McKeown increasingly experiments with effects pedals to achieve massive guitar tones.

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LIVE

BY RANDY HARWARD & HOWARD HARDEE

THURSDAY 11/30 The Proper Way—an Ogden duo comprised of Scott Rogers (vocals, guitar, banjo, mandolin) and Shane Osguthorpe (vocals, piano, guitar, Dobro, harmonica)— plays a menu of covers classic rock, pop, alternative country and contemporary singer-songwriters that offers audiences more than note-perfect facsimiles of their favorite radio food. Given their instrumentation, you might accuse them of doin’ the shtick originated long ago by Hayseed Dixie and perpetuated by a slew of newer acts like Steve ’N’ Seagulls. That’s only half true. The Proper Way’s huge and varied repertoire can include the usual suspects (The Beatles, Pink Floyd, Prince, Cyndi Lauper), while revealing that they hold great songwriting at a premium, with selections by songsmiths like Jason Isbell, Townes Van Zandt and Vic Chesnutt. And they render the tunes with a reverence that honors the original writers and performers, and with originality sufficient to earn respect for their own talents. Then they’ll whip out surprises like Schoolhouse Rock’s “Three is a Magic Number” or one of two-dozen TPW originals. Now that’s doin’ it proper. (Randy Harward) The Hog Wallow Pub, 3200 E. Big Cottonwood Canyon Road, 9:30 p.m., $5, 21+, thehogwallow.com

FRIDAY 12/1

Mark Farina, Nate Lowpass, CHOiCE, ArtsOfChaos

Dallas-based Mark Farina is an acid jazz musician and OG house DJ who started spinning instrumental hip-hop beats back in 1989, and has been cranking out feelgood mid-tempo tracks ever since. In fact,

Mark Farina

NATALIE SIMPSON BEEHIVE PHOTOGRAPHY

The Proper Way

he’s the rare sort of DJ who is content to occasionally go hands-off and let the groove ride, rather than coming at you with flashy turntable moves, gold chains and backwards baseball hats. Now considered one of the top DJs in the world, Farina has an enormous body of work, including the eight-volume Mushroom Jazz series (Om, Innercise/MRI). Like a lot of instrumental hip-hop, it’s great music to soundtrack a road trip, or do homework by. In that way, you can consider Farina a precursor to RJD2, Blockhead, Illogic and a legion of other so-called “beatmaker” guys who blend the drums and bass of hip-hop with the cinematic collages of R&B and soul. Armed with an absolutely enormous collection of old-school records, Farina has a stated goal, according to his website, to “bring new music to as many places as I can and expose obscure records that otherwise might go hidden.” (Howard Hardee) Metro Music Hall, 615 W. 100 South, 9 p.m., $15, 21+, metromusichall.com

Periphery, Animals as Leaders, Astronoid

Periphery guitarist Misha Mansoor and Animals As Leaders axemen Tosin Abasi

The Proper Way and Javier Reyes always seem to be getting ink in the guitar-centric mags like Guitar World—and with good reason. Their freaky fretboard wizardry will mess with your mind. The music’s not bad, either. Each band takes progressive rock and metal to such new heights that they’re getting credit for helping to pioneer a new offshoot genre, the onomatopoeiac “djent.” Toss that word into the lexiconic bin, ’cause it shortchanges what these bands are really doing, which is updating extant music. Periphery is more songoriented, letting Mansoor’s gui-trickery stand out but serve the song, while AaL merges instrumental shred with Primus’ goofy jazz-noodling. What’s noteworthy is that the two acts have birthed three new guitar heroes, while also enjoying success as bands. It’ll be interesting to see how they’re regarded a decade from now. (RH) The Complex, 536 W. 100 South, 6 p.m., $24.50 presale; $30 day of show, all ages, thecomplexslc.com

Periphery

JOSEF TORRES

CHRIS ARSON PHOTOGRAPHY

34 | NOVEMBER 30, 2017

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THIS WEEK’S MUSIC PICKS

COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE AT CITYWEEKLY.NET

AMAZING $8 LUNCH EVERY WEEKDAY! NEW MENU ADDITIONS! SATURDAY & SUNDAY BRUNCH, MIMOSA, AND MARY

ON EAS S L BAL E! FOOT IS HER DAY TICKET FL SUN S N K R O ION ETW PAC-12 N NF - BOTH LOCAT M

Gonzo @ 10:00 SATURDAY:

DJ ChaseOne2 @ 9:00

TONY HOLIDAY AND THE VEVETONES

FRI SAT

THURSDAY:

FRIDAY:

HIGHLAND live music

DJ Sneeky Long @ 9:00

ULTIMATE FIGHTING 218 STARTS 8PM | SAT DEC. 2 | BOTH LOCATIONS

HALLOWAY VS ALDO

FOLLOWED BY SAMEYEAM $2 MIMOSAS NEW BRUNCH MENU SMOKED PULLED PORK SAMMIES, POKER DURING THE NIGHT GAME, ALL GAMES TELEVISED

SUN FUN

SUNDAY:

Sleep in! Brunch served ALL DAY!! Breaking Bingo @ 9:00 Pot $1,250 MONDAY: Micro Brew Pint Special Geeks Who Drink Trivia @ 7:00! TUESDAY:

MNF WED

WEDNESDAY:

THURS

Karaoke That Doesn’t Suck! @ 9:00

MAD MAX MONEY MACHINE

$1 TACOS, FOLLOWED BY KARAOKE

PING PONG TOURNAMENT!!! STARTS AT 8:00, CASH PRIZE TO THE WINNER. THE MORE PEOPLE THAT PLAY THE MORE CASH TO BE HAD

BREAKING BINGO AT THE SUE AT 8PM $350 POT

VJ Birdman @ 10:00 on the Big Screen

SUE’S HIGHLAND HAS PAID OUT OVER $3,400 IN BINGO PRIZES!

3928 HIGHLAND DR 801-274-5578

FACEBOOK.COM/ABARNAMEDSUE

2PM

HIGHLAND

20 1 7

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FRI SAT SUN FUN

2014

STARTS 8PM | SAT DEC. 2 | BOTH LOCATIONS

HALLOWAY VS ALDO

FOLLOWED BY DJ BAD HAIR DAY

$2 MIMOSAS NEW BRUNCH MENU

FOOTBALL IS FOLLOWED BY KARAOKE, ALL GAMES TELEVISED

MNF WED

$1 TACOS, SQUARES BOARD, GIVE AWAYS

DEC 16

SUE FOR SANTA TOY DRIVE FOR TOYS FOR TOTS MUSIC PROVIDED BY 9021YO! RAFFLE, GIVE ALWAYS, YES WE ARE A DROP FOR TOYS FOR TOTS AND ARE ALREADY ACCEPTING DONATIONS .................................................................................................

BREAKING BINGO AT THE SUE AT 8PM $1,200 POT

9 60” 4K HD TVS, 2 GIANT HD PROJECTORS, PAC-12 NETWORK, NFL SUNDAY TICKET

8136 SO. STATE ST

EAT AT SUE’S! YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD BAR · FREE GAME ROOM, AS ALWAYS!

OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK

VISIT US AT: ABARNAMEDSUE.NET

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NOVEMBER 30, 2017 | 35

801-566-3222

FACEBOOK.COM/ABARNAMEDSUESTATE

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3000 S Highland Dr, Salt Lake City, UT 84106 801.484.5597 | Lumpysbar.com

ULTIMATE FIGHTING 218

WATCH ALL NFL GAMES EVERY SUNDAY, MONDAY, AND THURSDAY NIGHTS

HERBAN EMPIRE

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STATE live music

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AS ALWAYS, NO COVER!

32 Exchange Place • 801-322-3200 www.twistslc.com • 11:00am - 1:00am

LIVE

NATE RYAN

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 1ST

Charlie Parr

THE RHYTHM COMBO & GARY “MR. BLUES” TAD

THE BOOKENDS

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 8TH

This country-blues road hound from Minnesota just rolled through town in July, two months prior to releasing his aptly titled 14th album, Dog (Red House). He gets his 300-show-a-year work ethos from his parents; they worked together as meat packers to feed their boy, who grew up to write insightful, timely songs that capture the essence of bluecollar life through the lens of smartly drawn characters in relatable situations. Dog thrums with this sensibility, and the songs come to vivid life through Parr’s wise lyrics, rolling fingerpicked arpeggios and gently tense slide licks. You can almost see what Parr sees out the window of whatever vehicle gets him to work each day, and how his mind processes these thoughts into songs that’ll stick by your side like loyal friends. Wisconsin folk-punk band Them Coulee Boys are like-minded, and certainly skilled, but they sound like young’uns playing hipster Americana—at least for now. We’ll see how they sound after Parr drags them around the country. (RH) The State Room, 638 S. State, 9 p.m., $16, 21+, thestateroom.com

36 | NOVEMBER 30, 2017

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TUESDAY, DECEMBER 5TH

Psycho a-Go-Go: The Hexxers, Los YaYaz, The Boys Ranch, Miami Face Eaters, DJ Woody

SATURDAY 12/2

Charlie Parr, Them Coulee Boys

TUESDAY 12/5

Mysterious Southern California band The Hexxers dropped Freaks With The Savage Beat (Golly Gee) in 2004. Oddly, this appears to be their only album, and there are no other tour dates online. Not that they have much of a web presence: Facebook reveals only a dead “local business” page. Hexxers.com hasn’t been updated in 13 years as of four days before this show, which kinda makes you wonder: Did they plan this? Is it a gimmick, dropping an album and then disappearing (at least from the internet) only to reemerge 13 years later to mesmerize only one audience before poofing away again? Are we lucky … or cursed? Let’s go with the former, ’cause Freaks is one badass beach party with chunky, reverby guitar chords, beach blanket rhythms, rampant innuendo and songs about gravestones and bones. And here’s a shout-out to local Latin garage punks Los YaYaz, who’ve been playing around town for a while now. They released their debut 7-inch 45RPM 00001 (losyayaz.bandcamp.com) in September and its two tracks, “No Puedo Gritar” and “Nos Feratu” clock in at a lean 3:07 (combined), but they’re mean as hell. (RH) The Urban Lounge, 241 S. 500 East, 8 p.m., $5, 21+, theurbanloungeslc.com

FRIDAY DECEMBER 1ST

THE PEDESTRIANS

ERIC MCFADDEN 1492 S. STATE · 801.468.1492 PIPERDOWNPUB.COM

BARBARY COAST SALOON

SATURDAY DECEMBER 2ND

STONE TONY’S 9:00PM | 21+ | $5 COVER

YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD BAR

4242 South State Street SLC, UT 84107 Open from 10am - 2am

Watch all College and NFL games

on our 30+ Full HD TV’s

WINE WEDNESDAY & JAZZ NIGHT | 6:15PM Join a professional to explore wines by the glass. November 29th Carne Humana Red Table Wine, Napa Valley Deember 6th Donky & Goat, Perli Vineyard Syrah, Mendocino County Music at 7:30.

FRIDAYS AND SATURDAYS Enjoy craft cocktails and live music. Get here early as it fills up fast!

THIRSTY THURSDAYS $3 pints and $3 whiskeys, $5 gin, $4 vodka, $5 tequila, $4 rum.

TASTING TUESDAYS Join us for a whiskey tasting with a professional. | 6pm

...

SUNDAY NIGHT Industry night $3 pints $3 whiskeys

...

THIS WEEKS LIVE MUSIC

DECEMBER 1 DECEMBER 2 DECEMBER 7 DECEMBER 8

| | | | | | | | | |

7:30-10:30 6-9 PM 10-1 AM 10-1 AM 6-9 PM 10-1 AM 6-9 PM 10-1 AM 6-9 PM 10-1 AM

OWN B YOUR LO MIMO ODY, S BELLIN A & I BAR

LOCATED AT THE BASE OF THE CANYONS

DECEMBER 1

APRES SKI WITH DJ GAWEL 6PM FUNKY FRIDAY WITH DJ

DECEMBER 2

DECEMBER 3

SATURDAY BRUNCH 10-3 CHASEONE2 10PM

NFL SUNDAY BRUNCH 10-3 SUNDAY NIGHT BLUES 9PM FEATURING SOULFUL SUNDAY WITH CJ

DECEMBER 4

MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL FOLLOWED BY MONDAY NIGHT JAZZ SESSION WITH DAVID HALLIDAY AND THE JVQ

DECEMBER 5

GRACIE’S 8TH ANNUAL REPEAL OF PROHIBITION PARTY

Dress in your best 1930’s attire and party like it’s 1933 at Gracie’s 8th Annual Repeal of Prohibition Party. We’ll be serving the Giggle Water while you try your hand in the casino or cut the rug on the dance floor as KIng Strange and the Stranglers play that Gypsy Swing followed by ChaseOne2 playing music of the era. No Cover!!

FRIDAY & SATURDAY LIVE MUSIC 6PM - 9PM DJ’S 9PM - CLOSE

FULL DINING MENU FROM CAFE TRIO

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BRUNCH PARTY EVERY 1ST & 3RD SUNDAY EACH MONTH 11AM - 3PM

365 DAYS

A YEAR 326 S. West Temple • Open 11-2am, M-F 10-2am Sat & Sun • graciesslc.com • 801-819-7565

NOVEMBER 30, 2017 | 37

OPEN

6405 s 3000 e Holladay | 801.943.1696 | elixirloungeslc.com

BRUNC H THIS S PARTY U DECEM NDAY B BUILD E R 3 RD

NOVEMBER 30

WASHINGTON @ DALLAS TNF LIVE MUSIC WITH MICHELLE MOONSHINE 10PM

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(801) 532-2068 155 W 200 S Salt Lake City, UT, 84101 www.lakeeffectslc.com

Proudly serving locally produced beers & spirits — 40+ local beers available —

Play Geeks Who Drink Trivia every Tuesday at 6:30

call for reservations

MONDAYS Blues night

THE COREY CHRISTIANSEN QUARTET ERIC ANTHONY DJ CHASEONE2 NIGHT CAPS ERIC ANTHONY SHUFFLE MICHELLE MOONSHINE & CO. DJ CHASEONE2 SCOTT FOSTER BONANZA TOWN

Enjoy APPY HOUR 1/2 off appetizers every day 4pm-6pm & 10pm-midnight. Play Breaking Bingo every Wednesday at 9:00

1/2 OFF TACOS 11 AM-4 PM DAILY NOVEMBER 29 NOVEMBER 30

$3 Miller Lite Imperial Pints Sunday and Monday

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38 | NOVEMBER 30, 2017

WEDNESDAY 12/6

CONCERTS & CLUBS

BYSTROV EUGENE

Diskoteka Avariya

THURSDAY 11/30 LIVE MUSIC

Big Head Todd & The Monsters (Park City Live) Black Pistol Fire + Cobi (Kilby Court) see p. 33 Eric Anthony (Lake Effect) German Wyoming + Hollywood Henning (Urban Lounge) Jazz Joint Thursday w/ Mark Chaney & The Garage All Stars (Garage on Beck) Joshua Redford + Parker Rudd + Mckay Karren + Aly Hardy (Velour) Monty Powell & Anna Wilson: Stories and Songs from Nashville (Gallivan Center) The Proper Way (Hog Wallow Pub) see p. 34 Talia Keys + Michelle Moonshine + Green River Blues + Jane Lyon (The State Room) Victor Menegaux (Downstairs) Zander + San Andreas (The Royal)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE Dance Evolution, feat. DJ/DC (Metro Music Hall)

DJ Handsome Hands (Bourbon House) Dueling Pianos (The Spur) Dueling Pianos (Keys On Main) Dueling Pianos feat. Troy + Mike (Tavernacle) see above Gothic + Darkwave w/ DJ Nina (Area 51) Jazz Jam Session (Sugar House Coffee) The New Wave ’80s Night w/ DJ Radar (Area 51) Therapy Thursdays feat. Morgan Page (Sky)

KARAOKE

Cowboy Karaoke (The Cabin) Karaoke with DJ Benji (A Bar Named Sue) Karaoke Thursday’s (Prohibition) Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge) Live Band Karaoke (Club 90)

FRIDAY 12/1 LIVE MUSIC

Abrams + Mosida + Motherkilljoy (The Ice Haüs) Baby Gurl + Turtleneck Wedding Dress + Breaux (ABG’s) Band On The Moon (The Spur) Colt .46 (The Westerner) Derek Luh + Sammy Wilk (Kilby Court)

SUNDAYS & MONDAYS

MONDAYS

FREE GAME BOARD FOR NFL

BREAKING BINGO 9PM $850

ALL SUNDAY GAMES KNEEL OR STAND @ JOHNNY’S!

Attention young American music listening people: This is legitimate endorsement of extremely popular, award-winning Russian electronic pop music recording trio Diskoteka Avariya. It is in no way influenced by the American president-leader Donald J. Trump, who in no way received golden showerings by beautiful Russian women provided by our great leaders as professional courtesy. Anyway, your musical editor Randall Vern Harward, Jr., born 29 Feb. 1972, social media password “rosebud,” has this to say about Diskoteka Avariya in, of course, his own word. I quote: “Этот сыр старый и заплесневелый. Где здесь ванная комната? Альтернативные факты.” Hahahaha. Is joke. Really. I have on unimpeachable authority that Mr. Harward has utmost respect for this 27-year-old Russian musical institution, which has brought great honor to the mother country with many Golden Gramophone awards for excellence in the creation of rocks and rolls. But go ahead and hear directly from him with your freedom of speech: Music is a universal language, and so is a good time. This trio from Ivanovo, Russia (about 160 miles from Moscow), is fluent in both. One moment they might sound like formulaic major-label plasti-pop with compulsory hip-hop overtones. The next, they’re flirting with the silly club-cool of Deee-Lite, crossing through Smash Mouth territory en route to Beck’s house, where they meet up with Soul Coughing to make bombastic, quirky jams with humorous lyrics. Naturally, language barriers prevent us from getting the jokes—but discotheques are for dancing, anyway. (Randy Harward) The Depot, 400 W. South Temple, 7 p.m., $60 early bird, $80 presale, $100 day of show, 21+, depotslc.com

TUESDAYS

GROOVE TUESDAYS JOHNNYSONSECOND.COM

Dubamine + Subswarm (Urban Lounge) Freida & The Feel Goods (Prohibition) Horse Brothers (Outlaw Saloon) Jazz Small Group (Fine Arts West) Jenn Blosil (Velour) Mark Farina + Nate Lowpass + Choice (Metro Music Hall) see p. 34 Metal Dogs + DJ Marty Paws (The Cabin) Nate Robinson (Park City Mountain) Nightcaps (Lake Effect) N-u-endo (Club 90) Onesie Wonderland (Sky) Periphery + Animals As Leaders + Astronoid (The Complex) see p. 34 The Rhythm Combo & Gary “Mr. Blues” Tada (Piper Down Pub) Shannon Runyon (Silver Mine Taproom) Stonefed (Hog Wallow Pub) Troubadour 77 (O.P. Rockwell) Vista Kicks + Wyves + Mantis Jackson (Club X) Wayland + October Rage + Berlin Breaks + Reloaded (The Royal) Zander + San Andreas + Irie G (Funk ’n’ Dive)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

All-Request Gothic + Industrial + EBM +

SATURDAY, DEC. 2 YOU TOPPLE OVER

WEDNESDAYS

KARAOKE

and Dark Wave w/ DJ Courtney (Area 51) Chaseone2 (Twist) DJ Dance Party (Club 90) DJ Jon Smith (Gallivan Center) DJ Matty Mo (Downstairs) Dueling Pianos feat. Jules + Mike (Tavernacle) Dueling Pianos (Keys On Main) Friday Night Fun All-Request Dance w/ DJ Wees (Area 51) Funkin’ Friday w/ DJ Rude Boy & Bad Boy Brian (Johnny’s on Second) Hot Noise (The Red Door)

KARAOKE

Karaoke (Cheers to You SLC) Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge)

SATURDAY 12/2 LIVE MUSIC

Aaron Watson (The Depot) Az Iz + Loss Of Existence + Moose Knuckle (The Royal) Bill n’ Diane (Harp & Hound) The Boys Ranch + Major Tom & The Pirates + Umbels + Green River Blues (Urban Lounge) The Bookends (Park City Mountain)

WASATCH POKER TOUR

SUN. & THUR. & 8PM SAT. @ 2PM FRIDAYS

FUNKIN’ FRIDAY

DJ RUDE BOY WITH BAD BOY BRIAN

165 E 200 S SLC | 801.746.3334

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NOVEMBER 30, 2017 | 39

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40 | NOVEMBER 30, 2017

SPIRITS . FOOD . LOCAL BEER

BAR FLY

11.30 PROPER WAY 12.1

STONEFED

12.2 UGLY SWEATER PARTY WITH STONEFED 12.6 KEVYN DERN 12.7 MICHELLE MOONSHINE 12.8 CROOK AND THE BLUFF 12.9 YOU TOPPLE OVER

3200 E BIG COTTONWOOD ROAD 801.733.5567 | THEHOGWALLOW.COM

THU 11.30• GERMAN WYOMING HOLLYWOOD HENNINGS

12/8: THE RODEO BOYS 12/9: EKALI 12/10: HOTT MT 12/12: BABY PINK DUBAMINE 12/13: THE CAT SHOW SAT 12.2• THE ROLLING STONES TRIBUTE THE BOYS RANCH, UMBELS, GREEN RIVER BLUES, MAJOR TOM & THE PIRATES 12/14: ROCK OF HELTAH SKELTAH

FRI 12.1• FREE KITTENS COMEDY FRI 12.1• DUBWISE W/ SUBSWARM

JOSH SCHEUERMAN

•LIV E MU S IC • THE TAVERNACLE

When my wife announced her birthday wish was a night at the Tavernacle, she sounded like Jigsaw describing torture through an intercom. I was sick at the thought of watching piano players do the musical bidding of drunken bachelorette parties and the Axe-scented douchebags who circle them like seagulls eyeing shredded bread. Then I realized that I could use cash to co-curate at least part of the night. I downed a shot, grabbed a stubby pencil and started scribbling on request forms. I told a friend my plan to spice up the lowest-common-denominator night. He informed me of its flaws. You gotta pony up at least $5 per song in order to be taken seriously, and $10 is better. But if one of those wobbly woo-girls or walking erections is confounded by your Guided by Voices or Townes Van Zandt selections, they can pay to cut them off with Nickelback or “Milkshake.” That’s if the ivory-ticklers will even attempt the tune—one of their rules is, “No stumping the piano player.” I crumpled my requests and summoned more whiskey. Then somebody requested Joe Walsh, then Nirvana, then other songs, leading to an epiphany: The LCD isn’t the bottom of the barrel. It’s closer to the middle, where things aren’t so needlessly simplified or fractious, and everyone can groove on the same good vibe, and mean every word when they sing along to Garth Brooks’ “Friends in Low Places.” I got over myself and grabbed a fresh request slip. (Randy Harward) The Tavernacle, 201 E. 300 South, 801-519-8900, tavernacle.com

11.30: DANCE EVOLUTION 12.1: MARK FARINA NATE LOWPASS, ARTSOFCHAOS, CHOICE

12.2: MISS PEPPERMINT (RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE 9 FINALIST) TIERRA FLESH, LILLIA MAUGHN, LONDON SKIES, DJ SHUTTER

12.6: SLICK VELVETEENS

PIGGET, THE ARTIFICIAL FLOWER COMPANY, SPEECHLESS PEACHES

TUES 12.5• THE HEXXERS

12.7: INKJAR MARKET

WED 12.6• CVPITVLS

12.8: LIVE BAND KARAOKE 12.9: CREATORS GRID

LOS YAYAZ, THE BOYS RANCH, MIAMI FACE EATERS, DJ WOODY TIGER FANG, TURTLENECK WEDDING DRESS, SLEEPING TIGERS

THU 12.7• SUPERSUCKERS

SULANE MICHAEL, MORGAN MANN, BABY BAT, SEWN OF A GLITCH

THE BELLRAYS, THE BOMBPOPS

• THEURBANLOUNGESLC.COM •

• METROMUSICHALL.COM •

12/13: SAMBA FOGO 12/14: BIRTHQUAKE 12/15: DANCE EVOLUTION 12/20: GARY NUMAN 12/21: URSULA MAJOR 12/22: BRENTON’S B-DAY BASH

CONCERTS & CLUBS COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE AT CITYWEEKLY.NET

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

Monday Night Open Jazz Session w/ David Halliday & the JVQ (Gracie’s) Open Blues Jam (The Green Pig) Open Blues Jam hosted by Robby’s Blues Explosion (Hog Wallow Pub) Open Mic (The Cabin)

Alternative/Top 40/ EDM w/ DJ Jeremiah (Area 51) Dueling Pianos feat. Drew + Mike + JD (Tavernacle) Dueling Pianos (Keys On Main) DJ Baze (Funk ’n’ Dive) DJ Dave + DJ J2 (The Jackalope Lounge) DJ Dance Party (Club 90) DJ Juggy (Downstairs) Gothic + Industrial + 80s w/ DJ Courtney (Area 51) DJ Latu (The Green Pig) DJ Sneeky Long (Twist) Sky Saturdays feat. DJ Karma (Sky)

KARAOKE

Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge)

SUNDAY 12/3 LIVE MUSIC

Alex Lahey + Dude York (Kilby Court) Live Bluegrass (Club 90) Patrick Ryan (The Spur)

DJ Dave + DJ J2 (The Jackalope Lounge)

KARAOKE

Karaoke (Tavernacle) Karaoke w/ DJ Benji (A Bar Named Sue) Karaoke Church w/ DJ Ducky (Club Jam)

www.theroyalslc.com

 Bar | Nightclub | Music | Sports 

CHECK OUT OUR GREAT menu

LIVE MUSIC

Amanda Johnson (The Spur) Dashboard Confessional + I Don’t Know How But They Found Me (The Complex) Mark Swink + Luco + Kalista (Kilby Court)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

KARAOKE

LIVE Music

nfl football

jersey giveaways every sunday, monday & thursday

great food & drink specials

MONDAY 12/4

KARAOKE & pick-a-prize bingo

wednesday 11/29

thursday, november 30 WASHINGTON @ DALLAS

$5 STEAK NIGHT @ 5PM EVERY THURSDAY W!

NE karaoke w/ dj bekster 9p,m

karaoke @ 9:00 i bingo @ 9:30, 10:30, 11:30 Thursday 11/30 Reggae at the Royal

friday, DECEMBER 1

TERENCE HANSEN TRIO

zander san andreas irie g

saturday, DECEMBER 2

DJ LATU

amfs & long islands

Weeknights

1/2 off nachos & Free pool

friDAY 12/1

Live Music

monday

OUR FAMOUS OPEN BLUES JAM WITH WEST TEMPLE TAILDRAGGERS

Karaoke (Poplar Street Pub) Karaoke Bingo (Tavernacle) Karaoke with DJ Benji (A Bar Named Sue)

wednesday

LIVE MUSIC

The Bookends (Piper Down Pub) Davey Suicide (Liquid Joe’s) Dayshell + Eyes Set To Kill + Sifting +

thursday

KARAOKE W/ DJ BEKSTER 9PM

az iz

loss of existence i moose knuckle

Every sunday ADULT TRIVIA 7PM

open mic night

coming soon

ChakraLounge.net 364 S State St. Salt Lake City Open 5 - 1am Mon-Thurs • 10am - 1am Fri-Sun

5.99 lunch special MONDAY - FRIDAY

featuring dj jason lowe

dance to all the best of the 80's & 90's

12/9

The Eagle Royal

12 sunday funday brunch $3 BLOODY MARYS & $3 MIMOSAS FROM 10AM-2PM

Christmas Bash ft. jagertown i the wayne hoskins band sam drogin and sinners like us

31 east 400 SOuth • SLC

ALL SHOW TICKETS AVAILABLE AT SMITHSTIX OR AT THE ROYAL

THEGREENPIGPUB.COM

801-532-7441 • HOURS: 11AM - 2AM

NOVEMBER 30, 2017 | 41

Thursday 11/30 - DJ Birdman Friday 12/01 - DJ Bronto Call (Gonzo) Saturday 12/02 - J Godina & Caviar Club DJ’s Wednesday 12/06 - LiveJazz Friday 12/08 - Bollywood Night

12/8

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Great food

YOU Never KNow WHO WILL SHOW UP TO PERFORM

Nightly Music

Offering full bar, with innovative elixers, late night small plate menu

saturday 12/2

Tuesday 12/5

Next to Himalayan Kitchen

The

THE TRIVIA FACTORY 7PM

w/ nick from october rage berlin breaks i reloaded

TUESDAY 12/5

From the Creators of The Himalayan Kitchen

and Bar

801-590-9940 | facebook.com/theroyalslc

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

Indian Style Tapas

Chakra Lounge

4760 S 900 E, SLC

Karaoke w/ B-RAD (Club 90) Cosplay Karaoke (The Ice Haüs)

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Bone Thugs-N-Harmony (Park City Live) Charlie Parr + Them Coulee Boys (The State Room) see p. 36 Colt .46 (The Westerner) Eric Anthony + Shuffle (Lake Effect) Horse Brothers (Outlaw Saloon) Live Music on the Plaza Deck (Snowbird) Live Trio (The Red Door) Nathan Pacheco (Kingsbury Hall) N-u-endo (Club 90) Peppermint + DJ Shutter + Terra Flesh + Lillia Maughn + London Skies (Metro Music Hall) Pixie and the Partygrass Boys (The Spur) Rage Against The Supremes (O.P. Rockwell) Rick Gerber & The Nightcaps + Miss DJ Lux (The Cabin) Ryan Van Hygan + Notion + Shado Nation + Sensei + Phobia The Greatest (Kilby Court) Snyderville Electric Band (Canyons Village) Spazmatics (Liquid Joe’s) Stonefed (Hog Wallow Pub) Van Hof (VanLadyLove) + Serf & James + Strange Familia (Velour) You Topple Over (Johnny’s on Second)

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42 | NOVEMBER 30, 2017

BEST OF UTAH Body & Mind ™

new bou issues in 2018

HEALTH & WELLNESS PRACTITIONER

Yoga Instructor ——————————— Acupuncturist ——————————— Nutritionist ——————————— Dietician ——————————— Aerobic Instructor ——————————— Personal Trainer ——————————— Naturopath ——————————— Dietician ——————————— Physical Therapist ——————————— Masseuse ——————————— Write-In (Catagory & Name) ———————————

HEALTH & WELLNESS FACILITY Cross Fit Gym ——————————— Boxing Gym ——————————— Recreation Center ——————————— Pool ——————————— Acupuncture Facility ——————————— All Purpose Gym ——————————— Community Clinic ———————————

Hypnotherapy ——————————— Weight Loss Clinic ——————————— Hospice Facilty ——————————— Day Spa ——————————— Fitness Center for Older Adults ——————————— Family Fitness Center/Gym ——————————— Water Aerobics Classes ——————————— Retirement Center ——————————— Wilderness Therapy Program ——————————— Write-In (Catagory & Name) ———————————

MEDICAL FACILITY

Women’s Clinic ——————————— Hospital ——————————— Wellness Center ——————————— Urgent Care Faciility ——————————— Health Services Research ——————————— Heart Research ——————————— Oncology Research ——————————— Medical Administrator ——————————— Geriatric Center ———————————

Vote Now! VOTING DEADLINE:

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 26, 2017 AT MIDNIGHT MDT (Entered online, postmarked or dropped off in person)

Best of Utah Body & Mind issue date FEBRUARY 1, 2018

Addiction Recovery Center ——————————— Rural Utah Medical Center ——————————— Mental Health Facility ——————————— Dental Facility ——————————— Occupational Therapy ——————————— Write-In (Catagory & Name) ———————————

MEDICAL PRACTITIONER Orthopedic Surgeon ——————————— Pediatrician ——————————— General Physician ——————————— Dermatologist ——————————— Internist ——————————— OB-GYN ——————————— Cosmetic Surgeon (Face) ——————————— Reconstructive Surgeon ——————————— Oncologist ——————————— Cardiologist ——————————— Psychiatrist ——————————— Nurse Practitioner ——————————— Podiatrist ———————————

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THE RULES

Optomitrist ——————————— Orthodontist ——————————— Anesthesiologist ——————————— Write-In (Catagory & Name) ———————————

OTHER

Natural Foods Store ——————————— Juice Bar ——————————— Farmer’s Market ——————————— Health/Medical Non Profit ——————————— Innovation In Health/Wellness ——————————— Emerging Medical Leader ——————————— Nursing College or University ——————————— Dental College or University ——————————— Healthcare Hero ——————————— Health Insurer ——————————— Pharmacy ——————————— Local Health Food Company ——————————— Healthcare Equipment Provider ——————————— Home Health/Hospice Care ——————————— Medical Transportation Company ——————————— Write-In (Catagory & Name) ———————————

1) Keep it local. 2) Ballots can be filled out online at CityWeekly.net/BestofUtah or hand-delivered by Tuesday, Dec. 26 to 248 S. Main St., Salt Lake City, 84101. 3) Only one ballot per person; don’t be sneaky. 4) You too can be a winner. Name, phone number and email address must be included in your ballot for validation and prize eligibility. 5) You must vote in at least five categories for your ballot to be counted.

CONCERTS & CLUBS

LIVE MUSIC

KARAOKE (THURS) PHOENIX SOFT TIP DARTS

Classic Jack + Adashore + Sheep In The Foxhole (The Loading Dock) The Dear Hunter + The Family Crest + VAVÁ (The Complex) Great White Shore + Loedenaire + Local Desperado (Kilby Court) Psycho a-Go-Go, feat. The Hexxers + Los YaYaz + The Boys Ranch + Miami Face Eaters + DJ Woody (Urban Lounge) see p. 36 High Valley + Adam Doleac (The State Room) King Strang & The Stranglers + Chaseone2 (Gracie’s) Scott Klismith (The Spur)

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Open Mic (The Wall at BYU) Open Mic (The Royal)

LEAGUES AND TOURNAMENTS

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Karaoke (Tavernacle) Karaoke w/ DJ Thom (A Bar Named Sue) Karaoke That Doesn’t Suck (Twist) Karaoke w/ Zim Zam Ent. (Club 90)

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NOVEMBER 30, 2017 | 43

FREE DOM

BY DAVID LEVINSON WILK

ACROSS

1. Office-inappropriate, in web shorthand 2. “Watch out! It’s ____!” 3. Former NFL QB Rodney 4. Has control of the wheel 5. Bay Area airport code 6. ____ bark beetle 7. 1920s car 8. Happen to 9. Zoo heavyweight, for short

52. Blunder 53. Like gymnasts 56. Protected, as horses’ hooves 57. The “S” in RSVP 58. Pugilists’ grp. 59. Gchat notes, e.g. 60. Decorates with some rolls, for short 61. Quick swim 62. “The British ____ coming!” 63. Bear in a 2012 film and its 2015 sequel

Last week’s answers

TWITTER @CITYWEEKLY

No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

DOWN

10. Keats poem 11. Iron ____ 12. Comic strip sound from a drunkard 13. Evidence in an arson investigation 18. “Baby and Child Care” author 19. Beach bottle letters 23. “Cheeseburger, large fries and a Coke,” e.g. 24. Do flawlessly 25. Dazzle 26. Something a driver may “hang” 27. 2010 Nobelist Mario Vargas ____ 28. Savor, as a drink 31. Airer of “Monday Night Football” 32. “That’s nuthin’!” 33. Manfred succeeded him as baseball commissioner in 2015 34. Group that ends “... and sometimes Y” 36. ____ ballerina 37. One in debt? 40. “___Language” (sitcom star’s 1993 bestselling book) 43. R. E. Lee’s org. 44. Piece org.? 47. The silver screen 48. AARP concern 50. Christina of “Sleepy Hollow” 51. “How stupid am I!”

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9.

1. Goes out for a while? 5. Tennis’s Novak Djokovic, by birth 9. Hullabaloo 14. Editor’s override 15. Escape (from) 16. Actor Elba in 2013’s “Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom” 17. Take away actor DeLuise’s ability to talk? 20. Marathon handout 21. Facebook Messenger, e.g. 22. Basketball player Senator Franken is always pushing too hard on the court? 29. Spread out ungracefully 30. Nobel laureate Wiesel 32. Smokey Bear ad, e.g., for short 35. Garfield’s foil in the comics 36. Military initiatives that seek to influence the enemy’s mind, informally 38. ATM expense 39. Animation fan’s collectible 40. ____ Lanka 41. Soak (up) 42. Photo/video-hosting website acquired by Yahoo! in 2005 44. Diamond with 21 platinum albums 45. ____ Arbor, Michigan 46. Uncles, in Acapulco 47. Yalta’s peninsula 49. Direction made by God to ensure the well-being of author Fleming? 54. Na+ or Cl55. Actresses Garr, Hatcher and Polo 57. Mistakenly give TV host Sullivan to the wrong mother when he’s a newborn? 64. Landmark tech product of 1981 65. Mud 66. West End district mentioned in the Who’s “Pinball Wizard” 67. Yogurt-based Indian drink 68. Mimicked 69. Talking horse of 1960s TV

SUDOKU

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44 | NOVEMBER 30, 2017

CROSSWORD PUZZLE

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY B Y R O B

B R E Z S N Y

Go to realastrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes. Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Happy Unbirthday, Gemini! You’re halfway between your last birthday and your next. That means you’re free to experiment with being different from who you have imagined yourself to be and who other people expect you to be. Here are inspirational quotes to help you celebrate. 1. “Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” - George Bernard Shaw. 2. “Like all weak men he laid an exaggerated stress on not changing one’s mind.” W. Somerset Maugham. 3. “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson. 4. “The snake which cannot cast its skin has to die. As well the minds which are prevented from changCAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You know that unfinished task you have half-avoided, allow- ing their opinions; they cease to be mind.” - Friedrich Nietzsche. ing it to stagnate? Soon you’ll be able to summon the gritty determination required to complete it. I suspect you’ll also be CANCER (June 21-July 22): able to carry out the glorious rebirth you’ve been shy about Isuggest that you take a piece of paper and write down a list of your climaxing. To gather the energy you need, reframe your per- biggest fears. Then call on the magical force within you that is bigger spective so that you can feel gratitude for the failure or demise and smarter than your fears. Ask your deep sources of wisdom for the that has made your glorious rebirth necessary and inevitable. poised courage you need to keep those scary fantasies in their proper place. And what is their proper place? Not as the masters of your destiny, not as controlling agents that prevent you from living lustily, AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In an ideal world, your work and your character would speak but rather as helpful guides that keep you from taking foolish risks. for themselves. You’d receive exactly the amount of recognition and appreciation you deserve. You wouldn’t have to LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): devote as much intelligence to selling yourself as you did to In his book Life: The Odds, Gregory Baer says that the odds you will developing your skills in the first place. But now forget every- marry a millionaire are not good: 215-to-1. They’re 60,000-to-1 thing I just said. During the next 10 months, I predict that that you’ll wed royalty and 88,000-to-1 that you’ll date a model. packaging and promoting yourself won’t be so #$@&%*! After analyzing your astrological omens for the coming months, important. Your work and character will speak for them- I suspect your chances of achieving these feats will be even lower selves with more vigor and clarity than they have before. than usual. That’s because you’re far more likely to cultivate synergetic and symbiotic relationships with people who enrich your soul and stimulate your imagination, but don’t necessarily pump up your PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): There used to be a booth at a Santa Cruz flea market called ego. Instead of models and millionaires, you’re likely to connect Joseph Campbell’s Love Child. It was named after the mytho- with practical idealists, energetic creators, and emotionally intellogical scholar who wrote the book The Hero with a Thousand ligent people who’ve done work to transmute their own darkness. Faces. The booth’s proprietor sold items that spurred one’s “heroic journey,” like talismans made to order and herbs that VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): stimulated courage and mini-books with personalized advice What might you do to take better care of yourself in 2018, based on one’s horoscope. “Chaos-tamers” were also for sale. Virgo? According to my reading of the astrological omens, this They were magic spells designed to help people manage the will be a fertile meditation for you to keep revisiting. Here’s a messes that crop up in one’s everyday routine while pursuing a good place to start: Consider the possibility that you have a lot heroic quest. Given the current astrological omens, Pisces, you to learn about what makes your body operate at peak efficiency would benefit from a place that sold items like these. Since none and what keeps your soul humming along with the sense that exists, do the next best thing: Aggressively drum up all the help your life is interesting. Here’s another crucial task: Intensify and inspiration you need. You can and should be well supported your love for yourself. With that as a driving force, you’ll be led to discover the actions necessary to supercharge your as you follow your dreams on your hero’s journey. health. P.S. Now is an ideal time to get this project underway. ARIES (March 21-April 19): I hope that everything doesn’t come too easily for you in the LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): coming weeks. I’m worried you will meet with no obstruc- Here are themes I suggest you specialize in during the tions and face no challenges. And that wouldn’t be good. It coming weeks. 1. How to gossip in ways that don’t diminmight weaken your willpower and cause your puzzle-solving ish and damage your social network, but rather foster skills to atrophy. Let me add a small caveat, however. It’s also and enhance it. 2. How to be in three places at once withtrue that right about now you deserve a whoosh of slack. I’d out committing the mistake of being nowhere at all. 3. How love for you to be able to relax and enjoy your well-deserved to express precisely what you mean without losing your rewards. But on the other hand, I know you will soon receive attractive mysteriousness. 4. How to be nosy and brash for an opportunity to boost yourself up to an even higher level fun and profit. 5. How to unite and harmonize the parts of of excellence and accomplishment. I want to be sure that yourself and your life that have been at odds with each other. when it comes, you are at peak strength and alertness. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): I predict that in the coming months you won’t feel compulsions TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You were born with the potential to give the world specific gifts— to set your adversaries’ hair on fire. You won’t fantasize about benefits and blessings that are unique to you. One of those gifts robbing banks to raise the funds you need, nor will you be tempthas been slow in developing. You’ve never been ready to confi- ed to worship the devil. And the news just gets better. I expect dently offer it in its fullness. In fact, if you’ve tried to bestow it that the amount of self-sabotage you commit will be close to in the past, it might have caused problems. But the good news zero. The monsters under your bed will go on a long sabbatical. is that in the coming months, this gift will finally be ripe. You’ll Any lame excuses you have used in the past to justify bad behavknow how to deal crisply with the interesting responsibilities it ior will melt away. And you’ll mostly avoid indulging in bouts of asks you to take on. Here’s your homework: Get clear about what irrational and unwarranted anger. In conclusion, Scorpio, your this gift is and what you will have to do to offer it in its fullness. life should be pretty evil-free for quite some time. What will you do with this prolonged outburst of grace? Use it wisely! SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “What is love?” asks philosopher Richard Smoley. “It’s come to have a greeting-card quality,” he mourns. “Half the time ‘loving’ someone is taken to mean nurturing a warmish feeling in the heart for them, which mysteriously evaporates the moment the person has some concrete need or irritates us.” One of your key assignments in the next 10 months will be to purge any aspects of this shrunken and shriveled kind of love that may still be lurking in your beautiful soul. You are primed to cultivate an unprecedented new embodiment of mature, robust love.

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SUMMONS BY PUBLICATION IN THE SALT LAKE CITY DEPT. OF THE THIRD JUDICIAL DISTRICT COURT, SALT LAKE COUNTY, STATE OF UTAH. CASE NO. 179912314, JUDGE MARK KOURIS. CASCADE COLLECTIONS LLC, PLAINTIFF V. RICHARD VICARS, DEFENDANT. THE STATE OF UTAH TO RICHARD VICARS: You are summoned and required to answer the complaint that is on file with the court. Within 21 days after the last date of publication of this summons, you must file your written answer with the clerk of the court at the following address: 450 S State St., Salt Lake City, UT 84111, and you must mail or deliver a copy to plaintiff ’s attorney Chad C. Rasmussen at 2230 N University Pkwy., Ste. 7E, Provo, UT 84604. If you fail to do so, judgment by default will be taken against you for the relief demanded in the complaint. This lawsuit is an attempt to collect a debt of $7,023.65. /s/ Chad C. Rasmussen

NetDocuments is hiring a Software Test (QA) Engineer; master’s degree in computer science or related field required. Send resume to alandes@ netdocuments.com or to Netvoyage/Netdocuments, 2500 W. Executive Parkway, Suite 350, Lehi UT 84043.

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Hep A Plague is Here

A few weeks back, I wrote about the massive hepatitis A outbreak among the San Diego homeless population. It’s so bad that a San Diego County public health officer declared a local public-health emergency. As of Oct. 31, they had reported 20 deaths attributed to the outbreak, and according to The San Diego Union Tribune, the number of cases is still on the rise. The crisis started in November 2016, and as of the end of October of this year, there are 536 confirmed cases of hepatitis A there. The outbreak has arrived in Utah. We’re now one of the three biggest hep A flare-up spots in the country. In September, the Salt Lake County Board of Health reported that there was an official outbreak, with 21 cases of the virus, which seem to have “mostly infected homeless people and recreational drug users,” according to a Fox 13 report. My wife volunteers at one of the local shelters and came down with some horrible viral yuck that sent her to the hospital twice for fluids. When she got better, she got hep A shot (though she didn’t contract it, thank God). Upon starting back at her volunteer shift, she was surprised to find health officials at the shelter vaccinating staff and clients—anyone they could. One health worker said that they had been going to all the shelters and areas where the homeless camp to inform them about the outbreak and hopefully inoculate them. It’s a lot harder to find the homeless in one area now that Operation Rio Grande caused them to scatter into surrounding communities. The vaccination is free. The virus is most often spread by a person who did not wash their hands properly after using the bathroom. Shake the hand of a panhandler and you might receive a nasty “gift” back that can kill you. Share a needle or have unprotected sex with an infected person and you can get the bug. Ditto for eating food prepared by an infected person. However, you can’t get it by sitting next to, hugging or being coughed on by an infected person. A baby can’t get hepatitis A from breast milk, either. The infection causes liver disease and the symptoms include muscle soreness, upset stomach, fever, diarrhea and yellow eyes and skin. It apparently feels a lot like a really bad flu-until you see your eyes turn yellow. To get an injection, contact your local health department. In Salt Lake County, call 385-468-4100; Davis County, 801-5255000; Utah County, 801-851-7000. n

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Poets Corner LOVE

The impression of intention

The void created by deception I knew there has to be more

than meets your desired perception where does the line of intention and deception lie? When your desire is grown from my intention of deception, all I can ever see of you is only what I understand of me ~The Garbage Man Send your poem (max 15 lines), to: Poet’s Corner, City Weekly, 248 South Main Street, SLC, UT 84101or e-mail to poetscorner@cityweekly.net.

Published entrants receive a $15 value gift from CW. Each entry must include name and mailing address.

#cwpoetscorner

The Warmest Holiday Wishes!.

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Family Values Members of the Spann family of Comanche County, Okla., keep running afoul of the state’s incest law, with the latest dust-up over the marriage of 26-year-old Misty Spann and her 43-year-old mother, Patricia, in March 2016. The two had been separated after Patricia lost custody of her young kids, but when they resumed contact a few years ago, Patricia told investigators, “they hit it off.” KFOR reported that Patricia also married one of her sons in 2008, but two years later that marriage was annulled. Another son reported to KSWO-TV that Patricia tried to start an inappropriate relationship with him, but he shut her down. In early November, Misty received a 10-year deferred sentence and will serve two years’ probation. Her mother/ex-wife (their union was annulled in October) will be sentenced in January.

BY T HE EDITO R S AT A ND RE WS M cMEEL

Least Competent Criminals A loss prevention officer at a Vero Beach, Fla., Walmart happened to catch 25-yearold Cheyenne Amber West and another woman as they carried out some complicated maneuvers in the electronics aisle on Nov. 6. The officer told the Indian River County Sheriff’s Office that West and her friend chose a computer, video game controllers and other items worth a total of almost $2,000, then covered the bar codes with stickers taken from less-expensive clearance items. They then moved to the self-checkout lane, where their loot totaled just $3.70. “I am just trying to get gifts for my son that I cannot afford,” West told officers. “The computer is for my husband. Since he just got me a Coach purse, I figured he deserved something nice as well.” Treasure Coast Newspapers reports that West was charged with felony grand theft and felony shoplifting and was released on $3,000 bail. The other woman was not charged.

We sell homes to all saints, sinners, sisterwives &

WEIRD

Nerd Alerts Since Twitter announced that it would allow 280-character messages rather than its original 140, a whole new world has opened up for the game-addicted among us. Gizmodo reports that tweeters are using the expanded tweetspace to play board games such as chess, Connect Four, Shogi and Go. Games are even being customized; one tweet enthuses about “Marine biology twitter-chess. With a new marine biology fact every time a piece is moved, and a scientifically accurate death scene when a piece is taken.” Uh, ok. n A sharp-eyed Google Earth user from Leeds, England, searching for Longcross Studios in Surrey, came across a Star Wars fan’s dream: the Millennium Falcon, nestled inside a ring of stacked shipping containers and covered with a tarp. Andi Durrant tweeted about his find on Nov. 8. The spaceship was used in filming Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi at Longcross; that movie is set for release Dec. 15.

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A New Twist on Yard Work Council officers for the village of Blubberhouses in North Yorkshire, England, stumbled upon seven trash bags full of cannabis plants at the side of a road on Nov. 12, according to the BBC. They contacted the North Yorkshire Police, whereupon Constable Amanda Hanusch-Moore tweeted a photo of the bags and invited the owners to “come and speak to us at Harrogate Police Station, we’re more than happy to discuss!” Voting Woes Douglas Aaron Shuttlesworth, 34, was simply trying to exercise his civic duty when he reported to an elementary school in Harrisburg, Pa., to vote on Monday, Nov. 6, the day before Election Day. Susquehanna Township police arrested Shuttlesworth for DUI after he appeared at the school intoxicated and admitted he had driven there to vote. The Associated Press reported that Shuttlesworth’s mother elucidated: Her son thought it was Tuesday. n Poll workers at Merrill Auditorium in Portland, Maine, made an unusual discovery on Election Day: Someone had left behind a plastic bag with a complete set of dentures inside. UPI reported that the dental prosthetics were removed to the Portland City Clerk’s office, where they await retrieval by their (presumably) toothless voter.

Naked and Weird Joseph Vaglica, 40, of Edgewater, Fla., surprised a woman at her New Smyrna Beach home on Nov. 7 when, naked, he burst in through the garage door and ran through her kitchen “acting irrationally.” The homeowner dashed next door to her stepson’s house and called 911, reported the Daytona Beach News-Journal. Meanwhile, Vaglica helped himself to some of the woman’s clothes, then ran outside and started banging on the windows at the stepson’s home. When New Smyrna Beach police officers arrived, Vaglica was rolling around in the grass. Police said he was intoxicated; he was later charged with burglary with assault. n Sullivan, Mo., police department Lt. Patrick Johnson joined the town’s residents in witnessing a barrage of weird behavior on Nov. 3 and 4. Johnson thinks the people who were “barking like dogs or other farm animals, running up and down the street, entering people’s homes, breaking into a business” were high on flakka, a synthetic drug, mixed with methamphetamine, although the substances have not yet been tested. Some of the people broke into a nightclub, stripped down to their birthday suits and showered in fountain water or soda, according to the Sullivan Independent News. Two people were arrested, and others were treated at a hospital.

Send tips to weirdnewstips@amuniversal.com.

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NOVEMBER 30, 2017 | 47

Ewwww! Sean A. Sykes Jr., 24, of Kansas City, Mo., has discovered one way to avoid the justice system. Sykes was detained in a Sept. 1 traffic stop, but he denied any knowledge of the drugs and handguns found in the car, The Kansas City Star reported. As he was being questioned at the police station, the detective wrote in his report, Sykes was asked his address. In response, he “leaned to one side of his chair and released a loud fart before answering with the address. Mr. Sykes continued to be flatulent and I ended the interview,” the detective wrote. Charges were not filed at that time, but Sykes was pulled over again on Nov. 5 and was in possession of marijuana, crack cocaine and a stolen pistol. He was in custody awaiting a bond hearing.

Realtor 801-784-8618 bella@urbanutah.com

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Inappropriate An Indonesian museum, De Mata Trick Eye Museum in Yogyakarta, has been forced to remove an exhibit that encouraged visitors to take a selfie with a waxwork of Adolf Hitler. The figure, which stood in front of a giant image of the entrance to Auschwitz concentration camp, had been on display since 2014, and the museum said it was one of the most popular displays. Metro News reported that the museum originally defended the exhibit as “fun,” but when the Simon Wiesenthal Centre in Los Angeles demanded its removal, the museum complied, taking it down on Nov. 10.

Julie “Bella” Hall

Broker/Owner 801-201-8824 babs@urbanutah.com www.urbanutah.com

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Sweet! Becky Reilly of Omaha, Neb., was forced to call in a roofing company after discovering thousands of honeybees had invaded her home’s attic, producing so much honey that it was dripping down the side of the house. “We heard a loud and rhythmic buzzing, and it was somewhat terrifying because we knew what it meant,” Reilly told KETV. Jason Starkey of Takoda Green Roofing said he removed about 40 pounds of honey on Oct. 26 before moving the bees and tackling the damage, which he called “horrible.” Local beekeeper John Gebuhr moved the bees to his garage, but he is pessimistic about their survival through the winter. But Reilly’s friends and neighbors are thrilled: They’re getting honey for Christmas!

n Rondell Tony Chinuhuk, 32, of Anchorage, Alaska., had the pedal to the metal on Nov. 7 when he nicked a motorized shopping cart from a Safeway store in Fairbanks. But the batteryoperated Mart Cart tops out at 1.9 miles per hour, so even after a 10-minute joyride, he had barely left the parking lot. The Fairbanks Daily News-Miner reported that Chinuhuk was charged with felony second-degree theft.

Babs De Lay

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48 | NOVEMBER 30, 2017

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