City Weekly December 15, 2022

An Immigrant’s Tale

Haralambos Kambouris rode the waves of change from Greece to the mines of Bingham Canyon and beyond.

BY WES LONG

“Walking the Walk,” Dec. 8 Opinion

Thanks for the nice opinion piece, John Rasmuson! Trees are, perhaps, the best lasting legacy one can leave. Cheers to more walkable sidewalks in Salt Lake City.

MAYOR ERIN MENDENHALL Salt Lake City

“One-Party Rule,” Dec. 1 Private Eye

I look forward to Private Eye each issue and especially enjoyed the recent “OneParty Rule” editorial. We relocated one year ago from Vermont, convinced we could survive living in a red state because of a growing subculture. It’s been interesting and amusing and disillusioning so far. I initially wondered where your story of Bingham and its history was going, but it segued very smoothly to the point of partisan gerrymandering—as demonstrated in the recent elections for Salt Lake City’s representation.

As always, I appreciate and applaud your voice that represents a most worthy local group of Democrats—though she be but little, she is fierce.

BECKY SOWARDS Millcreek

There cannot be very many people who— like John Saltas—no longer have a geographical place to call “where I grew up.” I don’t disagree with anything Saltas wrote, including what a poor choice former Congressman Rob Bishop turned out to be for the Independent Redistricting Commission.

Nonetheless, I think you’ll appreciate my story. When I got my general election ballot—in the melting pot of Bountiful— there were 21 positions up for election, including the judicial retention ballot items. But only four of those races included more than one candidate. The rest were all unopposed Republicans.

Like Saltas, I remember being taught that the USSR was a terrible country because—being godless communists—while there were elections, there was only one choice on the ballot.

I maintain my GOP registration because the only real action in Davis County is the primary election, when it’s usually a choice between a reasonable person and a screwball. The Republican Party doesn’t have all that many “leaders” I’m interested in following. Democrats do not stand a chance in my county, and fewer and fewer bother to run.

DAVID IRVINE Bountiful

John Saltas’s story pretty much sums up my experience of living almost 70 years of life in the Salt Lake area. Sure glad I know someone who shares my disgust with the everpresent smirking, glad-handing creeps who have seemingly always run our state.

Like I always say, who needs the Taliban? We’ve got the Republican Party! Thanks for being here, John.

CARL ANDREASEN

Taylorsville

Clarification

The “Fixer Uppers” cover feature in the Dec. 1 issue of City Weekly included commentary from David Amott, executive director of Preservation Utah. Amott’s opinions on the now-demolished Utah/ Pantages theater were included as that of a third-party observer and expert on historical architecture. He is not a spokesperson for the Save the Utah Theater nonprofit group, which tried to save and preserve the historic theater.

Care to sound off on a feature in our pages or about a local concern? Write to comments@ cityweekly.net or post your thoughts on our social media. We want to hear from you!

THE BOX

Do you read your horoscope?

Bill Frost

As a Pisces—with Gemini ascendant and moon in Leo—I do not believe in astronomy.

Scott Renshaw

I read lots of things that are entertaining but fictional; I also don’t believe any of those things have any bearing on the unfolding of my life.

Katharine Biele

I used to. But after all these years, I know what’s in the stars. No sense playing with fire.

Bryan Bale

Only if I feel like having a chuckle over how generic/inaccurate the “predictions” are.

Benjamin Wood

Not just mine, I read everyone’s horoscopes! It’s part of the job editing this very newspaper—check page 43—but I do enjoy it. Capricorn, btw.

Kelly Boyce

No. Girls read them for me and tell me why I am the way I am. I nod in agreement. All I know is that Virgos are the sexiest of all the signs.

Jerre Wroble

Not only do I read Free Will on the regular but also the weekly horoscopes at rulingplanets.com written by Christopher Renstrom, an astrology bigwig based in Utah. Leos rule!

Chicken Buckets

It doesn’t matter if one celebrates in the traditional Christian manner, that of a non-Christian faith or as non-believer, Christmas is a day on the calendar that we can all claim as being one of shared memories. Few people claim a societal affection for June 18, for example. But mention Christmas Day, and we all have a special recollection.

One of my most memorable Christmas Days was that of being a blackjack dealer in Nevada. It was the first time I became aware of the notion that not everyone celebrates Christmas the same way.

You’d be surprised what casino folk think about Christmas Day gamblers. It’s the day dealers can mock and degrade their guests for sins similar to their own. Such disdain for their guests occurs outside casinos, too, but we call those miscreants legislators.

Luckily, most of my Christmas Days were spent at home, where our family would awaken as early as possible to see what new game or toy Santa left for us under our tree. Our trees were sometimes from a tree lot, but as often as not were those chopped from a copse of pine up in the Oquirrh Mountains, then dragged for miles, only to be chopped some more in order to fit beneath our living room’s low ceiling.

On some years, we set up a monstrosity of an artificial tree—probably first spotted in Grand Central—that was basically a broomstick with some silver shiny things hanging off of it that tapered in length, bottom to top, to give it a triangular shape and the misperception that it was treelike. It looked like a tree in the same manner I look like Brad Pitt.

And ho-ho-ho, in the familiar tradition of old St. Nick, a

spinning plastic wheel of light was projected onto it. Nothing evokes the Christmas spirit quite like a red, blue and then fake-green-silver Christmas tree.

Still, each Christmas, we kids would all race to put the damned thing together. That’s the way it is with kids. We didn’t really care if it were real or not. Santa didn’t seem to mind, and for sure, he was real. If we set it up, gifts will come. We set it up and Santa came.

Funny thing is, I don’t remember ever taking it down. I just remember that each year the box that held the fake tree gained a little more bulge to the point it eventually had to be bound with duct tape, a consequence of bad faketree-branch stacking on the part of my younger siblings, who were never as careful as myself with items of fakery.

It was convenient for us that my grandparents lived about 50 feet from our home. With two families claiming the adjacency rules of Christmas engagement, it was a given that all of our relatives had to come our way on Christmas Day (actually, every holiday for that matter, but especially on Christmas).

Between our two homes, all manners of cousins, aunts and uncles—even great aunts and great uncles—would be gathered together at some point. The first gathering was in the living room to open and admire new gifts, like cheap cologne for Grandpa or yarn for Grandma. Then we’d gather outside to break—or lose—our newest toys. I still don’t know where the roller-skate key went, and I’ve still never been on roller skates.

Our gathering was at the dinner table, where we’d be astonished at all the food we all had on our plates. And marvel at it we did, since our holiday meals were actually feasts back then, something that visually lent merit to the notion of being grateful for something.

It occurs to me that on any given day, at any café in town,

my lunches and dinners overflow with more food than we ever had on a major holiday . Remember when your breakfast of bacon, eggs, potatoes and toast all came on one plate, and that you could still see the plate? If we doled out food in the same ratios today as back then, we’d all be eating off of plates of the size of radial tires.

Like most families that drink wine or whiskey with dinner, after our ancient Christmas Day meal, the men folk would gather in a smoky back room for a round of poker. I was too young to play, so I was given the job of emptying the ashtray. Crappy job, trust me.

Still, I feel sorry for any bug-eyed boy or big-eyed girl who missed out on the excitement of watching stacks of nickels, dimes and quarters splashing down on a rickety card table. I don’t think there was ever more than $10 or $20 total at stake, but to kids who pocketed every found penny, it seemed like Daddy Warbucks had entered the building.

This year, there probably will be no poker game. And if there is, it will be played with poker chips, not nickels and dimes. It’s just not the same.

The turkey and ham will possibly come from a local takeout, not from mama’s oven. The potato salad won’t taste the same because whoever makes it at the local supermarket doesn’t use the same brand of pickle that dear old auntie did. Everything’s changed. We claim to be grateful, but there’s no context in getting there.

Look, when you purchase your bucket of chicken this year, do something nice: Buy two and give one to that person on the street corner. And give them last year’s coat.

Christmas Day may be just a day, but it’s the one day we actually think about doing good for more than two minutes. So do it. CW

Send comments to john@cityweekly.net.

HITS&MISSES

BY KATHARINE BIELE @kathybiele

HIT: Bursting at the Seams

OK, OK, we get it. Utah is growing, and it’s not just because of the babies. Utah now counts more than 3.4 million residents—61,000 more just in the past year, according to a report from the Kem C. Gardner Institute. Utah and the rest of the nation have seen housing costs soar and people being displaced as development takes place amid a desperation that defies good planning. So, it’s good news that elected officials and policy experts are launching a $1 million campaign to “gauge people’s feelings,” The Salt Lake Tribune reports. It’s pretty obvious that residents are souring on growth because it’s not doing anything great for them. Rural communities worry about unfettered tourism while urban areas see water, housing and traffic as the major issues. Also, the Utah Foundation released a video describing a decline in personal quality of life. Utahns will now have the opportunity to tell policymakers where to focus—if they pay attention. “Sometimes, we have to adjust our current way of thinking and living in order to reach a desired future outcome,” Envision Utah warns. How we have to adjust depends on you and your answers.

MISS: Not a Drop to Drink

For all those worried about school, public safety or just about anything, just know that liquor is here to save the day. Fox 13 News reports that of the $557 million in sales this year, the state got to keep $230 million. “The DABS funds crucial services that all Utahns use, helping to keep taxes low for hardworking Utah families,” said DABS Director Tiffany Clason in a statement. But don’t say it too loud. Legislators, who funded the mind-numbing Parents Empowered commercials, don’t like to believe there’s anything good about booze sales. They have allowed the state’s liquor licenses to dry up, even during a time of unprecedented population growth from outsiders who are used to being able to drink responsibly as adults.

MISS: Stop the Hate

It’s no surprise that hate crimes are increasing in Utah. They’re increasing everywhere in the country, with racial, religious and sexual minorities the most frequent targets. But in Utah, it seems a primarily target is the LGBTQ+ community. You may remember that a drag show in St. George caused a city manager to resign. In Utah, incidents targeting LGBTQ people were the top reported hate crimes, according to the Department of Public Safety. While most were vandalism or simple assaults, it’s still troubling that bias and hatred drive the trend. Fox 13 News talked to Project Rainbow about the increase, which may be because of better reporting and visibility. And while that highlights the problem, it doesn’t begin to solve it.

ON THE STREET

Street Names

What’s in a name? If you left it to many Utah parents, they would invariably answer by adding extra consonants, transposing vowels and mashing-up two innocently sounding words leading us to the Madysens and Taycies of the world.

However, a more boring approach was used in naming most Salt Lake City streets. Due to the famously recognizable grid-like pattern, we’re left mostly with numerals and cardinal directions: 1300 South, 900 West, 2100 East—how bland.

There are exceptions, of course. One of my favorite projects was tracking down, across the city, all of the streets named after individual U.S. states . Conveniently, most geographical areas are clumped together in individual residential neighborhoods.

Are you a fan of the Western United States? Well, head over to the Beacon Heights neighborhood in Sugar House, where you can find Wyoming and Nevada Streets. More of an East Coast type person? The Westpointe neighborhood has you covered with New York Drive and New Hampshire Avenue.

There are actually 16 states (see map above) that lend their names to SLC streets, which you can visit in the span of just an afternoon without all the hassle of transcontinental traveling.

And if you are in the mood for a scavenger hunt, there are other amusingly named roads that you can track down.

Like most cities, the U.S. presidents make a regular appearances, primarily concentrated in the southern half of the city—Garfield, Van Buren and Harrison Avenues, just to name a few. Appropriately, the Ivy League universities are well represented in Yalecrest; however some, like Cornell (Street), can be found in Fairpark, too.

The west side is, in fact, home to some of my favorite series of street names. There you can find several state capitals in Glendale, all four seasons in Jordan Meadows and, of course, various rose varieties in Rose Park.

But the most unusual set that I have happened upon are what I dub the “Knight Streets” (image below), which can be found just north of Meadowlark Elementary.

So, Tally Ho (also an SLC street name), and good luck with hunting down all these unique streets. CW

Wasatch Theatre Company: The Lord of Misrule

In some ancient traditions, there were certain times of year when the social order could be turned upside-down, and a beggar could force a lord to do his bidding, including providing donations for the poor. That concept has been applied by Wasatch Theatre Company to an intriguing new Christmas tradition that combines theater with charity to unique effect.

The Lord of Misrule begins with the premise of a televangelist named Pastor Lucas Karol, who collects donations from followers for the “miracles” he performs on his TV show. During a Christmas broadcast, a mob hijacks the show, forcing Pastor Karol to obey the orders of the Lord of Misrule. And that’s where members of the audience get in on the action: By making a donation to Our Unsheltered Relatives—a non-profit serving meals to the Rio Grande area unhoused community—you can introduce new elements and suggestions into the actors’ performance of the show, based on a list of suggestions in the production’s program. That’s how holiday charity becomes holiday hilarity.

Wasatch Theatre Company’s

production of The Lord of Misrule runs for two weekends at two different venues: Dec. 16 – 17 at 8 p.m. at The Box Theatre at The Gateway (124 S. 400 West), and Dec. 22 – 23 at 8 p.m. and Dec. 24 at 2 p.m. at the Alliance Theatre at Trolley Square (602 E. 500 South, Suite E101). Tickets are free, but don’t forget to make those donations, with all the fun they bring to the occasion. Visit fb.me/e/2eNxtltUW for additional information. (Scott Renshaw)

COURTESY

PHOTO

Utah Symphony Holiday Programming

Beautiful music is inextricably linked with the holiday season. Everybody has their favorites— and the one that makes them shudder when it comes over the mall speakers—but that special Christmas spirit usually gets a little more spirited when we’re hearing plenty of beloved holiday classics. And not surprisingly, if you want to hear beautiful music, the Utah Symphony is a perfect place, with multiple options for guests of all ages. This weekend brings two such programs, beginning with A Soulful Holiday with the Utah Symphony. Special guest vocalist soprano Morgan James (pictured)—whose Broadway credits include The Addams Family and Motown: The Musical—brings her soul stylings to Christmas tunes like those showcased on her 2021 album A Very Magnetic Christmas The program comes first to Utah Valley University’s Noorda Center (800 W. University Parkway, Orem) on Dec. 15 at 7:30 p.m., with tickets $17.50 - $72, then Dec. 16 – 17 at Abravanel Hall (123 W. South Temple) at 7:30 p.m., with tickets $10.50 - $95. If, on the other hand, you want to bring music-lovers of all ages to a fam-

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The Sting & Honey Company: This Bird of Dawning

Back in 2008, Sting & Honey Company founder Javen Tanner created a Nativitythemed holiday play that he believed at the time would be a one-time fund-raiser. Nearly 15 years later, This Bird of Dawning … is still going strong, in part because the people who love it as an annual tradition don’t want to let it go away, particularly the students at Waterford School, where Tanner teaches.

“Some students do it all four years,” Tanner told City Weekly in 2021. “And every year, the students who did it the year before, they’re introducing it to students who are doing it for the first time.”

Employing theatrical mask, This Bird of Dawning … tells the Nativity story in a way that draws from theater’s ancient connections to religious ritual. “I’m fascinated by how theater all over the world, they all evolved out of ritual, out of religious practices,” Tanner said.

“One of the things that’s so fascinating is how close this piece gets to that. The audience just connects to it. ... I’ve never been interested in it as a proselytizing

piece, but I am interested in how deeply it connects with an audience, even people who are not Christian or not religious.”

This Bird of Dawning plays at the Regent Street Black Box (144 Regent Street) of the Eccles Theater for three performances: Dec. 16 at 7:30 p.m., and Dec. 17 at 2 p.m. and 7:30 p.m. Tickets are $20 general admission, $10 for children under 12 and $15 for seniors and students. Visit arttix.org for tickets and additional event information. (SR)

Best Geek Stuff of 2022

Great

reads, watches and activities for a great geeky year.

BY BRYAN YOUNG @swankmotron comments@cityweekly.net

The year 2022 has been a great one for the geeks. Every year for the last decade seems to have been good for us, though. From comics and sci-fi to fantasy and gaming, it’s been a bit of an embarrassment of riches. Here’s a list of some of the best geek stuff from the last year, near and far. They’re worth seeking out, whether for yourself or for a holiday gift.

Welcome to St. Hell: My Trans Teen Misadventure: A Graphic Novel by Lewis Hancox: With all of the hate in the world directed at trans folx, reading their stories in their own words and images is one of the best things you can do. Better yet, in this day of book-banning, pick up one of these delightful graphic novels and pass it off to a kid, too. That’s the only way we’ll learn. In Lewis Hancox’s biographical comic, he struggles with his gender dysphoria in high school in equal parts hilarity and heartbreak. It’s a delightful, somber read, and I highly recommend it.

Legends & Lattes by Travis Baldree: There is a dearth of nice, kind fantasy reading out there, and Legends & Lattes delivers in spades. I devoured it in a single sitting. It tells the story of Viv, an orc barbarian who wants to give up the adventuring life of violence and start a coffee shop in a medieval town. There,

BIG SHINY ROBOT

she meets a lot of people who help her on her journey to create the best coffee shop in the realm, including a succubus named Tandri, who may or may not be a love interest. It’s just such a pleasant, fun read, I can’t imagine anyone objecting to it. A breath of fresh air for a perfect winter’s day of reading.

Star Wars: Andor on Disney+: If you would have told me that a prequel series to Rogue One: A Star Wars Story would be one of the most well-written installments of Star Wars ever, I might have laughed at you; we already have The Last Jedi for all the best writing. But showrunner Tony Gilroy and his team are giving Rian Johnson a run for his money. Andor shows us the birth of the rebellion in its angry gestation, down and dirty on the street. The writing is sharp, the dialogue is fantastic, and it brings subtext to a genre that can often lack that quality. It’s something every Star Wars fan should watch, but any fan of quality television

should watch it, too. It’s that good.

Everything Everywhere All at Once by Dan Kwan and Daniel Scheinert: It has been a long time since an original science fiction film so blew me away in the theater. The time before this might have been Annihilation , and before that Charlie Kauffman’s Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. This film is in the same vein as those, but it blows them out of the water with its bizarre imagery and multiversal ways. Beyond that, there are Oscar-worthy performances from Michelle Yeoh and Ke Huy Quan that are as moving as they are hilarious. Throw Jamie Lee Curtis, James Hong, and Stephanie Hsu into the mix, and you have all the ingredients of something that shouldn’t work, but does—so beautifully that it’s astonishing. Yeah, I know Dr. Strange and the Multiverse of Madness was pretty cool, but Everything Everywhere All at Once is hands down the best multiverse movie we’ve

ever had on the big screen, no exceptions. The Legendarium: Right here in Salt Lake City, we have a new refuge for those of us who love roleplaying games, sci-fi and fantasy books and good coffee. Located at 349 E. 900 South, it’s the perfect spot for hanging out, playing a game, getting some writing done, or just getting some coffee. The staff there is incredibly enthusiastic and helpful in finding any sci-fi or fantasy tale to your taste. It’s also billed as a safe space for folks of all marginalized backgrounds, so everyone is welcome there, making it a fantastic addition to the fabric of the SLC geek scene.

It really can’t be overstated how 2022 really has been a good year for the geeks. Celebrate with one of these things, or go visit

The Legendarium. You won’t regret it. CW

Diego Luna in Andor

An Immigrant’s Tale

Haralambos Kambouris rode the waves of change from Greece to the mines of Bingham Canyon and beyond.

BY WES LONG | comments@cityweekly.net

“For most immigrants,” wrote Nicola Yoon in The Sun Is Also a Star, “moving to the new country is an act of faith. Even if you’ve heard stories of safety, opportunity and prosperity, it’s still a leap to remove yourself from your own language, people and country. Your own history.”

Leaving one’s native soil for distant shores places immigrants in a vulnerable position as they begin a lifetime of adaptations and adjustments. One never knows if they will thrive in their new home and if they will ever see their loved ones or homeland again.

It’s a human saga that continues to play out for innumerable people to this day. Some make this momentous leap of faith as an act of survival, others for adventure—all for the prospect of a better life.

For one man by the name of Haralambos Kambouris, his journey from central Greece to America in the early 20th century was intended as a temporary exile from his beloved patritha—or “fatherland”—for the good of a family he left behind. He followed a winding path to his ultimate home in Utah, where he both found and helped establish an enduring community of Greek Americans,

but his tale is also one of desperation and faith, of grinding labor, of love and of the sweeping streams that carry us to strange new lands.

The “ghosts of the world” had groaned, Kambouris would later write, causing “a great wave” of movement. Consequently, “the earth has been transformed, and I ride the wave to survive.”

Contemporary accounts, interviews with his descendants and Kambouris’ own words—preserved through an autobiographical diary and stage play that Kambouris wrote shortly before his death—offer a glimpse at the waves of immigrant stories that preceded and continue to play out all around us.

Strange Lands

Nestled about an hour northwest of Athens is the Greek city of Thebes. It was there that Haralambos, or “Harry,” was

born to Konstantino and Konstantina Kambouris in 1891.

As the only son in a family of five daughters, Greek custom prevailed upon Harry to help provide for the future dowries of his sisters before he himself could marry (and only then after consent and selection was given by the family at large). This was a burdensome duty given Greece’s political turmoil and major crop failure.

“The boys and young men,” wrote Helen Papanikolas in The Peoples of Utah , “had grown up in one of the most devastating periods of Greece’s turbulent history. Struggling in the decay left by 400 years of Ottoman rule, their northern provinces still under Turkish control, many of their islands governed by the English and Italians, Greece became bankrupt in 1893. In 1897, the Greeks were defeated by the Turks and further humiliated by the Great Powers’ imposing financial control over them. The education of this generation, then, was poor, often completely lacking, their opportunities stultified.”

Unlike many of his peers, Kambouris was able to receive some schooling in his youth despite his family’s poverty. Work-

ing various jobs around the village, he did what he could to support his loved ones, but their odds looked grim.

Harry may very well have heard the letters that were read aloud in local coffeehouses from Greeks in America who had found work on rail lines and in factories. Many of his peers were following suit and crossing the ocean for Ameriki .

An idea formed; he would spend a few years in America to support his family and then return.

In the play written near the end of his life, Kambouris provided some particularly revealing dialogue about the tension his family likely experienced over letting him embark on the journey.

“If you leave and your luck doesn’t turn out as you hoped,” says a father to a son, “then what will we do … without any help during the years you are gone?”

The mother adds: “You want to go to America to that big hole in the ground that swallows the mother’s children, and they never see them again. The strange lands have eaten many young men, and you think I’m going to let you go and become one of them. For sure, I will go crazy.”

Shipped and Railroaded

With six of his fellows, Kambouris departed for America in August of 1912. At the rail station, as he recorded in his diary, Harry’s group received gifts from local mothers to pass on to their own sons in America.

Parents wept for their children, and friends for their friends. His mother embraced him and gave him a handkerchief containing a five-drachma coin and a sprig of basil, a token of Christian love.

“The train started moving,” Kambouris wrote of that day. “A shout went up from the crowd—farewell! We answered with shouts and waving our handkerchiefs.”

Riding to Athens, they sought passage by ship, and after some setbacks, arrived in New York by the end of September. The First Balkan War had broken out back home between the Greeks and the Turks during the voyage, and many Greek immigrants would sail back to fight in the conflict. For Kambouris, however, that wasn’t an option.

“How could we ever go back?” he later wrote. “We had to go in debt to get here.”

By the evening of Oct 1, the group had gone their separate ways, leaving Kambouris and a friend bound for Kansas City, Missouri. Upon their arrival, they went to a Greek coffeehouse—the usual place to obtain information and mail—and were unable to locate the person they sought for work. But they connected with a labor agent who was in need of people for a rail crew.

By the next morning, they were changing single-gauge tracks for the St. Louis-San Francisco Railway. Unlike the white crews—which had separate cars for their sleeping, cooking and eating quarters—Kambouris’ Greek crew slept, cooked and ate in a single, cramped car.

Only a few days later, Kambouris’ friend fractured his fingers on the job and was taken to a hospital. He was now alone in a foreign city.

With an uncle in Roseburg, Oregon, he wrote to his relative so as to keep someone abreast of his activities in case he was injured on the job. This was not an unreasonable action, for it was becoming a favored practice by Ameri-

can rail, mining and smelting industries of the day to import unskilled laborers from abroad to work for cheap with minimal training and even fewer safety precautions.

Accidents and deaths were all too common in this atmosphere, as Richard White explained in the book Railroaded . “A single miscalculation, a single piece of bad luck, a single piece of faulty equipment,” he wrote, “and a world of horrors ensued.”

Kambouris witnessed this world of horrors often during his early years in America. After acquiescing to his uncle’s repeated demands to come to Roseburg, he decided to end his stint in Kansas City. On the very day he left, one of his fellow crew members was crushed and killed on the job by a falling railcar.

“He [the injured crew member] had a father and a brother on the same job,” Kambouris wrote. “This tragic misfortune grieved and frightened me very much.”

After little more than one month in America, he was once again on the move, joining his uncle and fellow Greeks on a rail crew in Roseburg and teaching himself English as he went along.

A Leaf in the Wind

At the time, rail workers bounced about from job to job with little upward mobility, sometimes being fired and other times quitting. In this, Kambouris was typical, for over the next year he went to-and-fro following every rumor of available work, whether substantive or spurious.

Traveling throughout Oregon and Washington, his spirits and health waned between 1913-1914. One job in Glendale, Oregon, was particularly fraught, as he described in his diary. Three other work crews had been brought in and quit, he wrote, “because inside the tunnel there was water, and the structure wasn’t very safe. It was dangerous … dirty and hard work. … I fell one day because there was no light and injured my hand, but so as not to lose my day’s wages, I bandaged my hand and went back to work.”

This was the common experience of the laborer in America, particularly the immigrant laborer. Such persons, as

Richard White observed, “had no control over their work, how it was done or when it was to be performed. … Conditions they would never accept in the civic or public life were to be the conditions of their working lives.”

“Ah!” Kambouris lamented in his diary, “I am tired, I have no more strength. I shuffle about like a leaf in the wind. And I wish for rest, and I want calm … Neither am I able to live, neither to die.”

Despite the emotional lift he found from a gradually blooming postal relationship between himself and a friend of his aunt’s back in Greece named Dimitra Villiotis (18931973), Harry was worn down and depressed.

“For me, the lilac of life has withered,” he wrote. “And at the time of death, I wish to let out a shout: A Greek in America should never set foot!”

Flashing before his view in these dark days came a few sparks of hope. It was in February of 1915 when Kambouris received a letter from a friend advising him to come to Bingham Canyon, Utah, where he would find better paying work with the mines rather than the railyards. Weary and disillusioned, Kambouris had his doubts, but he followed the suggestion.

Love in Exile

Since their initial immigration to Utah at the start of the 20th century, Utah’s Greek population had already grown to 4,000 by 1910 and was primarily centered around the smelters, mines and mills of Bingham Canyon, Magna, Murray and Helper. Mostly made up of men, they married local women or arranged for picture brides to come over from Greece.

They established coffeehouses, bakeries and candy stores, roasted lamb for their feast days and went to Salt Lake City for services in the Holy Trinity Church that once stood at 439 W. 400 South.

The working conditions at the mines and smelters of Utah were no less dangerous or cruel than those of the railyards Kambouris had left. Illiteracy left Greek immigrants vulnerable to unfair contracts and paying unending trib-

DIMITRA K. KAMBOURIS

DIMITRA K. KAMBOURIS

Left: Haralambos “Harry” Kambouris and his wife, Dimitra Villiotis, pose in a photo commemorating their marriage. Above: Kambouris, left, working in his shoeshine and hat-cleaning shop in downtown Salt Lake City.

ute to padrones like Leonidas Skliris, who oversaw much of Greek labor in the West through his authorized positions with companies like Utah Copper (now Kennecott Corporation), Western Pacific Railroad and the coal mines of Carbon County.

When laborers grew discontent with conditions, companies turned to people like Skliris to ship in immigrant strikebreakers, pitting workers against workers, one ethnicity against another, and even one faction of an ethnicity against another.

Tracing the meandering Main Street of Bingham Canyon, Kambouris found different colonies of varying ethnicities formed into separate crews at the boardinghouses. Primarily, he laid track for steam shovels in an open pit and unloaded ore at the smelter with a pick and shovel.

As can be guessed from the conditions, he found the work on the rails and the mines to be spotty and their conditions atrocious.

Still, Kambouris’s relationship with faraway Dimitra was developing into a mutual attraction, although neither had yet met the other in person. “I shall always hold a liking for you,” Dimitra wrote him, “until fate brings it [the engagement] right.”

Somewhat defying the conventions of his culture, Kambouris not only suggested whom he would marry but went about securing the confirmation of Dimitra’s family himself. When he received word that Dimitra’s family had approved the engagement, he was ecstatic.

“With this, my joy was endless,” he wrote, “because my dreams had come true and because the greatest wish of my heart had come true.” By 1919, Kambouris was able to save enough money to bring Dimitra over to Salt Lake, and they were married in the old Holy Trinity Church that year.

The onset of World War I had increased production for smelting and mining operations, but the artificial boom collapsed from decreased demand. Utah entered the 1920s with some of its favored industries in trouble and droughts hitting farmers hard.

Utah’s Greek population, however, had found some sta-

bility during this period, with births on the rise and many former mine and rail workers leaving the industry to open shops or raise sheep. They drew the ire of local nativist movements like the American Legion and the Ku Klux Klan and were still called “dirty Greeks” by locals, but they were flourishing as they had never done in this state before.

After doing some odd jobs in Idaho and working as a boilermaker for the Union Pacific in Tacoma, Harry and Dimitra Kambouris were able to make a trip to their beloved Greece in 1923, returning to the States in 1926. Not able to regain his Tacoma job, the Kambourises returned to Utah—this time for good.

Making another go with Utah Copper, Kambouris was almost killed in a cave-in with his crew. “After this,” as Konstantinos H. Kambouris (Harry’s son) said, “he decided to go into business for himself.”

Shoe Polish and Ink

After opening a shoeshine and hat-cleaning service at 236 S. State in downtown Salt Lake City, Kambouris had found some economic stability, and life was becoming better. And while business could be slow, it opened up time for him to pursue more of his creative interests, such as poetry and playwriting.

Many of these works await rediscovery and translation at the Marriott Library’s Special Collections at the University of Utah, still in the formal Katharevousa writing style.

As would be typical of him, Kambouris had a character state in an autobiographical work that he did not consider himself to be a creative, only writing “to pass the time.” One look at the poems, plays and letters he left behind belies his self-effacing assertion.

Romantically inclined and introspective, Kambouris enjoyed a picnic in the mountains with his loved ones, a tune on the radio or a round of the Greek card game Xeri . Having lost two previous children, Harry and Dimitra adopted Konstantinos and relished their years with their son.

Serving as a secretary for the local Greek Orthodox Church and as president (or “Archon”) of a Greek mutual

aid/fraternity called the Greek American Progressive Association (GAPA), Kambouris retained a passionate love for his heritage as he settled into his new home. It was under the aegis of GAPA that many of his plays were performed for the local Greek community, Kambouris often directing or acting in them himself.

“They would put plays on in the church hall and ... have a party,” recalled Konstantinos Kambouris, “Everybody would come … and they had a lot of fun when they would dance and sing.”

By the mid-1940s, Haralambos Kambouris had lost the lease to the shoeshine shop, but thanks to the support of a relative and the aid of friends in the Greek community, the family relocated to a 22-acre farm in Farmington, where Kambouris worked as an independent producer until his retirement in 1960. He passed away four years later from a sudden illness.

Harry and Dimitra Kambouris never became wealthy or powerful in this country, and yet, the leaps of faith made by these humble people and the love they had for others continue to have a ripple effect upon their descendants today.

Kambouris’s life and journey were remarkable—and the same can be said for virtually all of the immigrants who live around and among us. That many of their stories go unrecorded leaves a gaping hole in cultural memory and overlooks the immigrant in each of our pasts, however buried in time they happen to be.

Immigrants and refugees still come to Utah’s mountains from the continents of Europe, Asia, Africa, South America and the Pacific Islands, and while there are supportive organization—such as the Refugee & Immigrant Center Asian Association of Utah and the Good Samaritan Foundation—the needs remain great among those taking a leap of faith to come to America.

They remain vulnerable to language barriers, human trafficking, mental health concerns and identity issues that arise from being displaced from one’s homeland, or as Kambouris put it, “the worry of a strange country, and the loneliness … eating our heart and souls.” CW

ELENI KAMBOURIS VAGENAS

DIMITRA K. KAMBOURIS

Left: Harry, Dimitra and their dog Pancho on their property in Farmington. Center: Pages from Haralambos Kambouris’ diary, in which he recorded his account of immigrating to the United States. Right: Konstantinos H. Kambouris—son of Harry and Dimita—and his wife, Mary.

Bringing Home the Bacon

Meat Hook BBQ Co. has your west side barbecue needs covered.

BY ALEX SPRINGER comments@cityweekly.net @captainspringer

For some reason, the desire to check in with our local barbecue scene always hits me come winter. Maybe it’s the cold weather that prompts me to get some food that sticks to my bones, in which case I’m glad our barbecue scene has stayed fresh and diverse for several years now.

There’s also that comfort of knowing pretty much what to expect when hitting up a new barbecue joint—in this case, I’m talking about Meat Hook BBQ Co. (3380 S. Redwood Road, 801-938-3773, meathookbbqco. com). It’s a hotshot outfit out in West Valley that looks to add a new dimension to local fast-casual barbecue, which is a market that has been dominated by R&R Barbeque since its major proliferation a few years back.

It might seem like a big risk to dive into a market that has such a heavy hitter at the plate, but Meat Hook is doing some interesting things to set itself apart. Price-wise, it’s comparable to most other barbecue spots in town; you can get combo plates of one, two or three proteins that range from $16.99 to $18.99, along with a half-rack of baby back ribs for $19.99. The meat combos are a perfectly serviceable place to hang out during your visit—the Meat Hook team

knows their way around a smoker, and their ribs and pulled pork are always juicy and delicious.

With the foundational barbecue menu established and populated with familiar favorites done well, Meat Hook takes a few left turns on its menu that I think really pay off. First off, Meat Hook offers a pretty decent cocktail and beer menu that features bangers like the Smoky Margarita ($10.50) that blends Wahaka mezcal, Cointreau, simple syrup and lime juice and serves it all up in glass rimmed with applewood smoked salt. Though our local barbecue options offer plenty of variety, there aren’t many spots that serve up barbecue and craft cocktails, so that’s enough to raise an eyebrow or two.

The other unexpectedly awesome aspect of the menu comes from their barbecueinspired sandwiches, burgers and tacos. I remember when I heard of Meat Hook first opening, I saw that they were serving a sandwich called the BLFGT ($10.99) which is a bacon, lettuce and fried green tomato sandwich. The idea of such brilliance stuck with me, and I am happy to say that it is every bit as satisfying as it sounds. As it’s a barbecue joint, the bacon is thick, flavorful and cooked to perfection. Then you add some leaves of crunchy romaine lettuce, crispy fried green tomatoes and a whole lot of mayo between two buttery slabs of Texas toast, and you’ve got one of the finest sandwiches to ever grace my plate.

Meat Hook is also trying its hand at the popular notion of birria tacos ($12.99) with consommé, and they add their freshlysmoked beef brisket to the toasty, cheesy goodness of these delightful tacos. It’s definitely a smart match, considering slow-cooked beef is the key to good birria tacos, though my order’s brisket was a bit on the dry side when it arrived. It happens from time to time, and I know enough about their barbecue game to understand that when the brisket is on point, these are some tasty tacos—cheesy, crispy and full of

great smoked brisket flavor.

I think I’ve made it pretty clear that my affection toward barbecue places increases significantly if they’ve got smoked sausage on the menu, and Meat Hook happily obliges. Not only can you get it in their barbecue combos, but they have a burger called the The Hookup ($14.99) that adorns its burger patty with a pile of smoked Andouille sausage. This meaty burger then gets topped with melted Monterey Jack cheese, a dollop of their Sweet and Sassy barbecue sauce, and a big scoop of coleslaw. I’ve always been fond of the sweet and savory punch that smoked sausage and coleslaw imparts, so it’s nice to see that the Meat Hook team shares my adoration for a heaping pile of sausage mixed with another heaping pile of coleslaw. Brisket fans will want to go with The Meatup ($16.99) that swaps the sausage out for sliced brisket.

Like any good barbecue spot, Meat Hook rounds out its menu of classics with a supporting roster of sides and desserts. I was a fan of the barbecue bacon baked beans ($4.99) and the cornbread mini muffins ($3.99); you can also get a side of those tasty fried green tomatoes ($4.99) if you aren’t snagging the BLFGT. For dessert, the key lime pie ($4.99) is the clear winner, but the Southern Comfort Mini Bundt ($6.99) and the banana pudding ($4.99) are solid offerings for those wanting to end things on a sweet note.

Overall, Meat Hook BBQ Co. has plenty of great things going for it. It’s familiar enough for longtime barbecue fans to appreciate, but it also has plenty of unique flair to help it forge its own path. If you’re in the West Valley area and craving some tasty barbecue, Meat Hook is doing some great things. CW

onTAPonTAP

2 Row Brewing 6856 S. 300 West, Midvale 2RowBrewing.com

Avenues Proper 376 8th Ave, SLC

avenuesproper.com

On Tap: Proper Beer - English Golden Ale

Bewilder Brewing

445 S. 400 West, SLC BewilderBrewing.com

On Tap: Gluten Reduced Kolsch

Bohemian Brewery 94 E. Fort Union Blvd, Midvale BohemianBrewery.com

Bonneville Brewery 1641 N. Main, Tooele BonnevilleBrewery.com

On Tap: Peaches and Cream Ale

Craft by Proper 1053 E. 2100 So., SLC craftbyproper.com

On Tap: Salted Caramel Porter

Desert Edge Brewery 273 Trolley Square, SLC DesertEdgeBrewery.com

On Tap: Pomegranate Sour

Epic Brewing Co. 825 S. State, SLC EpicBrewing.com

On Tap: Ginger Bread Baptist Imperial Stout

Fisher Brewing Co. 320 W. 800 South, SLC FisherBeer.com

On Tap: Fisher Beer

Grid City Beer Works 333 W. 2100 South, SLC GridCityBeerWorks.com

On Tap: Extra Pale Ale

Hopkins Brewing Co. 1048 E. 2100 South, SLC HopkinsBrewingCompany.com

On Tap: Winter Ale

Kiitos Brewing 608 W. 700 South, SLC KiitosBrewing.com

Level Crossing Brewing Co. 2496 S. West Temple, S. Salt Lake LevelCrossingBrewing.com

On Tap: Down The Road - West Coast IPA | Ales & Allies Game Night Tues at 6pm!

Moab Brewing 686 S. Main, Moab TheMoabBrewery.com

On Tap: Squeaky Bike Nut Brown

Mountain West Cider 425 N. 400 West, SLC MountainWestCider.com On Tap: Wet Hopped Cider

Offset Bier Co 1755 Bonanza Dr Unit C, Park City offsetbier.com/ On Tap: DOPO IPA

Ogden River Brewing 358 Park Blvd, Ogden OgdenRiverBrewing.com On Tap: Injector Hazy IPA

Policy Kings Brewery 223 N. 100 West, Cedar City PolicyKingsBrewery.com

Prodigy Brewing 25 W Center St. Logan prodigy-brewing.com/

Proper Brewing 857 S. Main, SLC ProperBrewingCo.com On Tap: Hop Blooded - Belgianstyle Hoppy Red Ale

Red Rock Brewing 254 So. 200 West RedRockBrewing.com On Tap: Gypsy Scratch

Red Rock Fashion Place 6227 So. State Redrockbrewing.com On Tap: Munich Dunkel

Red Rock Kimball Junction Redrockbrewing.com 1640 Redstone Center

On Tap: Bamberg Rauch Bier

RoHa Brewing Project 30 Kensington Ave, SLC RoHaBrewing.com

On Tap: Everything Nice Holiday Spice

Roosters Brewing

Multiple Locations RoostersBrewingCo.com

On Tap: Cosmic Autumn Rebellion

SaltFire Brewing 2199 S. West Temple, South Salt Lake SaltFireBrewing.com

On Tap: Singularity Single Hop IPA with experimental hops

Salt Flats Brewing 2020 Industrial Circle, SLC SaltFlatsBeer.com

On Tap: 2 Hop 2 Furious- Double Hopped Belgian Pale

Scion Cider Bar 916 Jefferson St W, SLC Scionciderbar.com

On Tap: ANXO Hereford Gold 6.9% ABV

Shades Brewing 154 W. Utopia Ave, S.Salt Lake ShadesBrewing.beer

On Tap: Prickly Pear Sour Ale

Silver Reef 4391 S. Enterprise Drive, St. George StGeorgeBev.com

Squatters 147 W. Broadway, SLC Squatters.com

Strap Tank Brewery

Multiple Locations StrapTankBrewery.com Springville On Tap: PB Rider, Peanut Butter Stout

Lehi On Tap: 2-Stroke, Vanilla Mocha Porter

Stratford Proper 1588 Stratford Ave., SLC stratfordproper.com

On Tap: Lake Effect Gose

TF Brewing 936 S. 300 West, SLC TFBrewing.com

On Tap: Edel Pils

Talisman Brewing Co. 1258 Gibson Ave, Ogden TalismanBrewingCo.com

On Tap: Udder Chaos- Chocolate Milk Stout on Nitro

Uinta Brewing 1722 S. Fremont Drive, SLC UintaBrewing.com

On Tap: Was Angeles Craft Beer

UTOG 2331 Grant Ave, Ogden UTOGBrewing.com

On Tap: Lovely Lady Nitro Stout

Vernal Brewing 55 S. 500 East, Vernal VernalBrewing.com

Wasatch 2110 S. Highland Drive, SLC WasatchBeers.com

Zion Brewery 95 Zion Park Blvd, Springdale ZionBrewery.com

Zolupez 205 W. 29th Street #2, Ogden Zolupez.com

OPENING SOON!

Helper Beer 159 N Main Street Helper, UT 84526

Apex Brewing 2285 S Main Street Salt Lake City, UT 84115

Cold Warmers

BY MIKE RIEDEL comments@cityweekly.net @utahbeer

Bewilder - I Love Juicy : Pours a vibrant golden-copper body with an off-white cap. The head lasts a good 8-plus minutes, and boasts a nice frothy consistency and a bright complexion. Bright floral hop aromatics join fresh pale malts, suggesting a balanced, quenching brew with plenty of hop flavor. It has a subtle tropical bend, leaning towards tangerine citrus and a blip of bitter fruit peel, plus orange pith, muted mango and even a hint of papaya.

Ripe tangerine fruit and subsidiary tropical fruits (mango, papaya, orange, passionfruit) join with classic floral hop flavor to form a hop-emphatic pale ale, but the pale malt backbone prevents the bitter fruit peel/rind from hitting the palate too hard. The result is soft, medium-bodied, refreshing, smooth and wet, as well as being well-carbonated. This one isn’t hot, boozy, astringent, harsh, rough or scratchy; it has a cool, mellow presence on the palate, utilizing slight juiciness to accentuate the fruity hops. The quenching mouthfeel coupled with the approachable hop flavor makes this beer highly drinkable, the kind of fare that would pair well with spicy food. Verdict : Balanced and enjoyable for an 8.0 percent Juicy double IPA, and absolutely worth picking up a four pack, even if it didn’t come from one of New England’s “white whale” breweries. I can’t see any discerning drinker genuinely disliking it; there’s room for improvement, but there are no overt faults, and it’s pretty true to the style even if more abstract elements

like depth of flavor and hop pungency could be improved. I’m glad Bewilder is making brilliant beers like these, and will happily order more.

TF - JESSE DELMAR-ish : The pour results in a super-thick and oily, absolute pitch-black appearance. The viscous body was capped by a thin, creamy, saddlebrown head that quickly fell to a tiny ringlet; a patchy band of lacing stuck along the top portion of the glass. The aroma was incredible: Coconut came through big time, loads of fresh vanilla beans and an intense brown sugar presence as well. It’s fairly sweet, but not excessively so. Moderate coffee notes emerge—creamed coffee or coffee ice cream, perhaps. It’s fairly milky, and somewhat boozy/bourbony, but given the 12.0 percent ABV, the alcohol was quite restrained. You get a touch of dark fruit character and oxidation, and as the beer warmed, the coconut intensified.

The flavor profile was nearly as spectacular, super-malty and robust. A big roasted and chocolate malt presence jumps out on the front end, along with loads of brown sugar and vanilla. It’s fairly sweet and somewhat milky, with a touch of semisweet chocolate and coffee in the center. Bourbon appeared on the back end, making it moderately boozy. The beer finished with roasted malt notes and more lingering bourbon/ boozy heat. The outstanding mouthfeel was super rich and viscous, complexly fullbodied for the style. The liquid contained an ultra-fine, frothy, tongue blanketing effervescence. After a few sips, the beer deposited a sticky film on my lips.

Verdict : TF has been releasing some amazing stouts lately, but JESSE DELMARish might just be their least interesting one to date. The caramel sweetness, coconut and bourbon notes were front and center, and the coffee, cognac and vanilla did add some amazing complexity. I would love an opportunity to try this again at some point.

You’ll find both of these in 16-ounce cans, and your best bets for purchasing them is at their respective breweries. Some of the area’s better beer bars are offering them as well. As always, cheers! CW

The warming effects of these cold brews is a yo-yo for the soul.

the BACK BURNER

BY ALEX SPRINGER | @captainspringer

Urban Hill Opens

There’s been a lot of scuttlebutt about the Post District, a commercial project that has been developing within downtown SLC’s Granary District, and it’s one step closer to completion. Recently the Park City-based restaurant group Leave Room for Dessert Eateries—owners of Hearth and Hill and Hill’s Kitchen—have announced the grand opening of Urban Hill (550 S. 300 West), a new restaurant that will be the unofficial herald of Post District’s future development plans. The official opening takes place on Dec. 15, which promises to bring the restaurant group’s passion for contemporary American cuisine to the downtown Salt Lake area. Pictures of the planned development are looking great, so it’s exciting to see how this new development will take shape.

Taste of Luxury Series at Deer Valley Resort

Deer Valley Resort (deervalley.com) is planning a memorable Taste of Luxury event this week by hosting renowned Italian chef Massimo Bottura. Chef Bottura has been in the culinary game for over 30 years, and is perhaps best known for his Michelin starred restaurant Osteria Francescana in Moderna, Italy. During the three-night event, Chef Bottura will work with the culinary team at Deer Valley to prepare wondrous meals for everyone in attendance. The event takes place on Dec. 16, 17 and 18 in Deer Valley resort’s Fireside Dining space within the Empire Canyon Lodge. Tickets are available via the resort’s website.

Vuture Food Soft Opening

In more big news for the Granary District, a hip vegan restaurant out of Lancaster, Calif. called Vuture Food (vuturefood. com) has set its sights on downtown SLC (545 W. 700 South) for the site of its second location. Vuture Food has created a menu of vegan diner food like mozzarella sticks, cheesesteak sandwiches and fried chicken that looks just as tantalizing as it sounds. I will always be a proponent of tasty plant-based food, especially when it looks as stacked as this stuff does. Its Salt Lake City location will be conducting a soft launch on Dec. 16 and 17 from 11 a.m. to 8 p.m., where they’ll feature some of their most notable menu items.

Quote of the Week: “If the whole world adopts vegetarianism, it can change the destiny of humankind.” –Albert Einstein

Pandora the Explorer

The dazzling world of Avatar: The Way of Water is once again the star of the show

BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net @scottrenshaw

James Cameron’s 2009 science-fiction spectacle Avatar might be the biggest box office success of all time, but I believe it also holds a lesser-known distinction: No movie has ever been talked about so much regarding how nobody talks about it. Questions about its “cultural footprint,” or whether anyone could remember a single character’s name, have lingered for years, as much in genuine puzzlement as in a way to denigrate the film. While Avatar was immersive spectacle and world-building on a remarkable level for an entirely original story, after 13 years, the question kept circling around, feeding on itself: Sure, it sold millions of tickets, but did anyone really care about Avatar ?

As it turns out, that’s entirely the wrong question. Whether or not anybody was deeply invested in the fate of Jake Sully was quite beside the point, since Avatar ’s world of Pandora was a wonder of visual invention. Avatar: The Way of Water is nominally about a family, and nominally about characters we met in a previous film, but it’s really about what James Cameron can do when given a blank canvas. And what he can do is simply breathtaking.

The Way of Water mostly tracks the real time that has passed since the release of the first film, with Jake Sully (Sam Worthington) and Neytiri (Zoe Saldaña) raising their children on Pandora in the wake of the human “sky people” colonizers being defeated and sent back home. Not surprisingly,

the humans eventually return in force, this time to prepare Pandora for an exodus of the entire human race from a dying earth. Jake becomes a leader of the guerrilla opposition to the human invasion, bringing him into conflict with an unexpected adversary: Miles Quaritch (Stephen Lang), whose downloaded memories have been placed in his own Na’vi avatar.

Sully’s status as high-value target eventually leads him and his family to exile themselves and seek sanctuary with the seafaring Metkayina branch of the Na’vi family tree. In so doing, the story gives Cameron an entirely new Pandoran ecosystem with which to play—and it is, quite simply, dazzling when The Way of Water journeys under that water to place you in a 3D, high-frame-rate aquarium tank. The original Avatar ’s world was engrossing not just because Cameron created cool-looking creatures, but because the unique flora and fauna were everywhere; the reefs here become beautiful, rich environments even when the focus isn’t on massive new beasts like the whale-like tulkun. An ecological message lingers here in the sense of a planet that behaves like a sentient, unified

system, but it’s less overtly preachy than it is built on the idea that a planet’s diverse life is worthy of awe and respect because it’s freaking amazing.

From a narrative standpoint, there’s a lot of focus on family dynamics; the word “family” is used enough to make this an honorary Fast & Furious movie. Jake’s second son, Lo’ak (Britain Dalton) deals with rebellious second-son issues; Quaritch’s son Spider (Jack Champion), who was left behind on Na’vi and has “gone native,” wrestles with his dad’s cruel history; Kiri, the daughter of Dr. Grace Augustine’s avatar (with Sigourney Weaver playing both roles, and kind of killing it as an adolescent version of herself), looks for answers about her mysterious parentage. Some of these issues are set up without clear resolutions, likely building towards the planned third film, but while the material may not be deeply compelling, neither is it distracting. And in a way, drastically reducing the presence of human faces from The Way of Water makes it easier simply to get caught up in these other cultures.

It would be crazy to ignore the action side of The Way of Water, since Cameron’s sense for crafting that kind of material remains

impeccable. From Lo’ak’s encounter with a predatory undersea creature to the climactic battle between Na’vi and humans, the set pieces here are terrific stuff, even if it feels weirdly self-referential for the director of Titanic to set the tense closing scenes in the wreckage of a slowly-sinking boat. Then again, it’s a reminder that as a filmmaker, Cameron understands when big emotions and broadly-drawn characters can be a feature of spectacular movies, rather than a bug. I was never concerned during Avatar: The Way of Water about whether I’d still be talking about it a decade hence. I was too engrossed in everything that was stunning about watching it right now. CW AVATAR:

THE WAY OF WATER

Jake Sully and Neteyam in Avatar: The Way of Water

Finding the Missing Pieces

Gathering the perfect group of musicians was worth the wait for Lisa and the Missing Pieces

BY EMILEE ATKINSON eatkinson@cityweekly.net @emileelovesvinyl

Finding the right fit as a band can be a challenge. Everything from conflicting schedules to creative differences can stand in the way, but it’s satisfying when all of the pieces fall into place. Many bands also go through different lineups until a final group is settled upon. That’s what happened with Lisa and the Missing Pieces: they came together from across the world to finish the puzzle.

Lead vocalist and guitarist Lisa Menninger started the search for band members back in 2019. She has a background in singing professionally, but had stepped away from music for a number of years. “I was like, if I don’t get back to this now, more years will pass,” she said. “I’ve been singing since I was 11, and I’m 57. I’d had a point in time where I needed to take that break to pursue other professional endeavors. And I was really missing it. It was just time to step forward and try again and get back on the horse. Get a bunch of people that I knew were great musicians together and try again, just because I wasn’t getting any younger.”

She called up drummer Mark Harris, who knew a guitarist, and that’s where the band got its start. Their first bass player ended up not being a perfect fit, but Ken Baum made his way into the picture, and they eventually found lead guitarist Nick

McMenamin. According to Menninger, this is the best combination of the group.

The next challenge was finding a name that fit. Initially the group was called Lisa and the Cage Unit, after their guitarist had an unfortunate experience cleaning out a ferret cage. But as 2020 rolled around and they had new people in the group, they decided they needed to rebrand. At this point, only Menninger and Harris were the same, so they took a few weeks to brainstorm. They knew they wanted to keep the “Lisa and the” in the name, but they weren’t sure what. After weeks of brainstorming, they finally decided on Lisa and the Missing Pieces, and it stuck.

One of the best parts of listening to Lisa and the Missing Pieces is hearing the versatility and flexibility in their playing style. Listeners who look into their catalog will see covers that range from pop and rock to bluegrass and folk. Having musical influences that span from Pink to Bob Dylan allow the group to interpret the music and put their own spin on it, creating sounds that are fun, exciting and vibrant. “I think being able to really have all of that inside of all of us, because even Nick, Nick’s 28, and you’d think that guy has been listening to old rock and roll for 50 years,” Menninger said. “He has so much knowledge of all of these genres and history, that he brings that as well, even though he’s younger than the rest of us. So I think it’s really awesome because it allows us to interpret things with that as an underpinning.”

Menninger talked about how well everyone in the band works together, and it’s evident listening to their music. “It’s very collaborative. And it’s that way when we bring in new songs that we’ve written too. It’s just extremely collaborative and I think that process makes it so much fun,” she said.

The joy and happiness the band feels while working on music together comes through not only in their live performances, but in their recordings as well. “There’s just an enormous amount of gratitude and respect among the band members for one another. We don’t fight, there’s no drama, we laugh, we enjoy each other’s company and we feel connected,” Menninger ex-

plained. “Which sounds kind of hokey, but it really is. I think of the secret of why it works so well. We listen to each other and we like each other and we respect each other and I think we’re all very grateful for what each of us brings in. And I think that provides a really amazing foundation to work from.”

Speaking of creating great music together, that’s what’s next for Lisa and the Missing Pieces–a focus on a full album release for listeners to enjoy. “We made that agreement, we’ve talked about it so that everybody is on the same page,” said Menninger. “And it’s like, let’s open that plane of possibility and see what can happen if we commit ourselves to each other and to the music and to the process. Where can we go with this? So we’re seeing where that is.”

The band is itching to get into the studio

and record some new music. The pandemic inspired and gave them time to come up with fresh ideas, so it’ll be exciting to see those come to fruition. “It was also helpful because it was easy to say, ‘Okay well we have this time, let’s fine tune, let’s bring in more material that we want to work on,’” Menninger said. “We really tried to take advantage of the time that we couldn’t play with an audience, and then just prepped for the time that we could.”

Be on the lookout for new music from Lisa and the Missing Pieces; it’s still TBD, but it’s sure to be a good time when the record drops. In the meantime, catch the band at Metro Music Hall on Friday, Jan. 27 at ?. Tickets for the 21+ show are ? and can be found at metromusichall.com. [Ed note: Still waiting on some show details] CW

Lisa and the Missing Pieces

BOOK FAIR.

Joining McIlwee

who released her debut EP in May. The 17-year-old is already cementing her place in the pop/alternative world with her creative and gutsy work. Born in the early ’00s, Powers had so many influential female artists to look up to, and as she and others are growing up, they’re ushering in a new era of strong women in the music world. This young artist is one to keep an eye on. Rounding out the show is super young adult, the anti-pop solo project of local icon Boone Hogg. Also well-known for his work in the local duo Cop Kid, Hogg has been around the local scene for quite some time. Hogg has been busy as the super young adult outfit this year, steadily releasing singles throughout including the chill and cozy track “the valley.” Catch this trio of intriguing artists on Thursday, Dec. 15 at 7 p.m. Tickets for the all-ages show are $18 in advance and $20 the day of. Find tickets at 24tix.com. (Emilee Atkinson)

Wicca Phase Spring Eternal, Sophie Powers, super young adult @ The Beehive 12/15 Mopey, emo, eclectic; these are a few key adjectives that describe the hip hop/witch house indie artist Wicca Phase Spring Eternal. Adam McIlwee took on this moniker after leaving the emo/indie group Tiger’s Jaw in 2013. Since then, he’s been creating his eccentric brand of downbeat trap rap. McIlwee is also a key founding member in the group GothBoiClique, a group of artists who create a similar type of music.

is young pop artist Sophie Powers

Wicca Phase Springs Eternal

GEORGE DOUGLAS PETERSON

By Emilee Atkinson

By Emilee Atkinson

Enchanting @ Soundwell 12/16

Up and coming rap/hip-hop/R&B artist Enchanting is just that. If you’re a fan of this type of music, Enchanting will immediately become a new favorite. Her rapping style is precise and chill; it’s easy to vibe from her music as soon as you press play. Enchanting’s November release No Luv is already collecting praise for her dynamic and engaging tracks, yet despite her coolness and ease with her music, it took her a while to realize she wanted to create music. “I went through a phase of doing absolutely everything,” she told Essence in September. “I was a cheerleader, I was into sports,” she said. “I had a friend, he had a friend that owned a studio and people knew that I could sing, I didn’t really start posting me singing ’til like later in high school.” Enchanting is always working to push the boundaries of the genre to create her own brand of R&B. “I had to get comfortable with my voice,” she says on her website bio. “Staying in the studio and constantly recording, it helps me find the style I can be good at.” Like for many modern artist, her music weaves in different styles and genres to create something completely her own. “She defines her style as something chill with a dash of neoSoul, a twinge of old school R&B, with some modern trap flavor sprinkled in,” her bio says. This captivating artist won’t be one to miss. Catch her at Soundwell on Friday, Dec. 16 at 8 p.m. Tickets for the 21+ show are $15, and can be found at soundwellslc.com. (EA)

Enchanting MATT MARZAHL

Jim Bone and The Dig @ The State Room 12/17

The Dig makes their stamp on alternative music by blending floaty electronics with a full instrumental band. Their hit album Midnight Flowers rightfully sounds as if it were recorded in a meadow of sunflowers planted on the moon. The aerial, distant lyrics place you in the driver seat of your first car, piloting through the cosmos. Although The Dig’s use of spacey melodies gives the immediate impression that they must have come from off-world, the grounded themes remind you that these too are mere Earthlings. The line, “You know I love you but you call me a friend / I think you love me more than you pretend” comes from “Bleeding Heart (You are the One),” describing the teeter-totter we’ve all found ourselves on at some point, or possibly still do. Jim Bone has a much more familiar sound, reminiscent of sitting on a cooler at your final childhood block party. Performing together, Jim Bone leads The Dig like their grizzled vet, creating new wave Alternative with a classic-vocals touch. It’s been five years since the release of The Dig’s last album, Bloodshot Tokyo, which doubled down on the spacier electronic sound , presumably making the next album imminent based on their track record. Will this style of block party-meets-spacey alternative be something The Dig is choosing to steer towards permanently? That remains to be seen, but the incubation is certainly something you won’t want to miss. The Dig and Jim Bone are at The State Room on Saturday, Dec. 17 at 8 p.m. Tickets for the 21+ show are $16 and can be found at thestateroompresents.com. (Caleb Daniel)

The Lingo, Musor, The Fervors @ Kilby Court 12/19

Kilby can always be counted on for a good local show, and it’s offering up one psychedelic night. The dark groove of psychedelic ‘60s rock has made its comeback in Salt Lake in the last few years, and another group has joined the scene. The Lingo is a new psychedelic band composed of dark and sunshine renaissance. Although recently formed, The Lingo has already played some loaded gigs, including the psych rock Honey Days festival at Urban Lounge back in August. With indelible riffs, haunting keys and an unmistakable groove, this show will be sure to be a good time. Joining The Lingo will be local psych band Musor, whose self-titled EP was released earlier this year in June. Musor’s music is full of space-like guitar and circumfluent singing in their native tongue, Spanish; a chance to see them live should always be taken advantage of. Rounding out the evening is the psych-rock band The Fervors, who know how to groove and give it their all every show they play. You won’t want to miss this kaleidoscopic evening that might just transport you to a different era, or dimension. You can catch this show on Monday, Dec.19 at 7 p.m. Tickets for the all-ages show are $10 and can be found at kilbycourt.com. (Emma Roberts)

The Pickpockets, Ben Majeska @ Soundwell 12/21

Local bluegrass outfit The Pickpockets headline a fun show at Soundwell this week, and seeing them is always a treat for fans of the genre. The Pickpockets were formed back in 2018 by a group of friends who loved to jam together.

They developed a healthy repertoire of covers in addition to their own originals. We got their debut EP at the beginning of 2022, pickin’ pockets, stealin’ hearts. The five track EP is a delightful insight to the band’s foot-stomping classic bluegrass sound. They flawlessly blend iconic instruments of the genre including the mandolin and fiddle. The vocals are clear and have a comforting tone. Hopefully we get to hear more from the group in the near future. Heading over from Madison, Wisconsin, Ben Majeska of Armchair Boogie brings his talent and flair for the genre. Armchair Boogie was formed in 2015 and released their first album in 2018 and according to their bio, “if you’re looking to listen to the Boogie Boys, drink some water, eat a banana, do some stretches, and be ready to boogie the night away.”

While the whole of Armchair Boogie won’t be present, it’ll still be a treat to hear Majeska play as he has a fierce love for the genre and entertains with his sharp guitar skills and a voice that lends itself well to the bluegrass/Americana vibes. Majeska and The Pickpockets will be at Soundwell on Wednesday, Dec. 21 at 8 p.m. Tickets for the 21+ show are $15 at soundwellslc.com. (EA)

Musor

The Picpockets

Emilee Atkinson

Thank yo u f o r s upporting

A Bar Named Sue

A Fisher Brewing Co.

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Adnet Advertising Agency

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Amazing Windows

American Cancer Society

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Aromatic Plant Research Center

Art & Soup

Ascent Kitchen Asian Association of Utah

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Best Friends Animal Sanctuary

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Cache Valley Tourist Council

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Cannabist

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Caputo’s Car Sold For Cash

Carlson Distributing Castle of Chaos

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Chartway Credit Union

Chili Beak

Christopher’s

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City of West Wendover Clark Planetarium

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Amphitheatre

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Earth Center

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Eye Institute of Utah

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Emporium

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Feldman’s Deli

Fillmore-Bureau of Land Management

Finn’s Cafe

First Utah Bank

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Flanker

Formation AG

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Franklin Ave.

Freshie’s Lobster Co.

Froerer & Miles Gallivan Center

Gem Faire Inc.

General Army Navy Outdoor Store

Global Hemp Association

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Good Company Theatre Gracie’s

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Greater Avenues Community Council Green Bike Green Future Accounting Green Pig Pub Grid City Beer Works

Grid City Music Fest HallPass Han’s Kombucha

Haneke Printing Healing of the Nation

Central Oregon CBD Healing of the Nation Farms

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Heber Valley Brewing Co.

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Italian Village Italian-American Civic

League

Jackson Hole Mountain Resort

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Judge Memorial Catholic School

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Kaiser’s To Go BBQ Kanell’s Furniture Outlet

Kearns Oquirrh Park Fitness Center

Ken Sanders Rare Books

Kilby Block Party

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Kimball Shinkoskey

King’s English Bookshop, The Kneaders Bakery & Cafe

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Lander Chamber of Commerce

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Lev Lion Level Crossing Brewing Company

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Metro Music Hall

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& Aesthetics

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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

BY ROB BREZSNY

Gotorealastrology.comforRobBrezsny’sexpandedweeklyaudiohoroscopesanddailytext-messagehoroscopes.

Audiohoroscopesalsoavailablebyphoneat877-873-4888or900-950-7700.

ARIES (March 21-April 19)

Aries painter Vincent van Gogh was renowned for translating his sublime and unruly passions into colors and shapes on canvas. It was a demanding task. He careened between torment and ecstasy. “I put my heart and soul into my work,” he said, “and I have lost my mind in the process.” That’s sad! But I have good news for you, Aries. In the coming months, you will have the potential to reach unprecedented new depths of zest as you put your heart and soul into your work and play. And hallelujah, you won’t lose your mind in the process! In fact, I suspect you will become more mentally healthy than you’ve been in a long time.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

“The soul is silent,” writes Taurus poet Louise Glück. “If it speaks at all, it speaks in dreams.” I don’t agree with her in general, and I especially don’t agree with her in regard to your life in the coming weeks. I believe your soul will be singing, telling jokes, whispering in the dark and flinging out unexpected observations. Your soul will be extra alive and alert and awake, tempting you to dance in the grocery store and fling out random praise and fantasize about having your own podcast. Don’t underestimate how vivacious your soul might be, Taurus. Give it permission to be as fun and funny as it yearns to be.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

The coming weeks will be an excellent time to expand your understanding about the nature of stress. Here are three study aids: 1. High stress levels are not healthy for your mind and body, but low to moderate stress can be good for you; 2. Low to moderate stress is even better for you if it involves dilemmas that you can ultimately solve; 3. There is a thing called “eustress,” which means beneficial stress. It arises from a challenge that evokes your vigor, resilience and willpower. As you deal with it, you feel hopeful and hardy. It’s meaningful and interesting. I bring these ideas to your attention, dear Gemini, because you are primed to enjoy a rousing upgrade in your relationship with stress.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

Long before he launched his illustrious career, Cancerian inventor Buckminster Fuller was accepted to enroll at Harvard University. Studying at such a prestigious educational institution was a high honor and set him up for a bright future. Alas, he was expelled for partying too hard. Soon, he was working at odd jobs. His fortunes dwindled, and he grew depressed. But at age 32, he had a pivotal, mystical experience. He seemed to be immersed in a globe of white light hovering above the ground. A disembodied voice spoke, telling him he “belonged to the universe” and that he would fulfill his life purpose if he applied himself to serving “the highest advantage of others.” How would you like a Buckminster Fuller-style intervention, Cancerian? It’s available if you want it and ask for it.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

Leo-born Judith Love Cohen was an electrical engineer who worked on NASA’s Apollo space program and the mother of the famous actor Jack Black. When she was nine months pregnant with Jack, on the day she went into labor, she performed a heroic service. On their way to the moon, the three astronauts aboard the Apollo 13 spacecraft had encountered a major systems failure. In the midst of her birth process, Judith Love Cohen carried out advanced troubleshooting that helped save their lives and bring their vehicle safely back to Earth. I don’t expect you to achieve such a monumental feat in the coming days, Leo. But I suspect you will be extra intrepid and even epic in your efforts. And your ability to magically multitask will be at a peak.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

When you’re at the height of your powers, you provide the people in your life with high-quality help and support. And I believe you could perform this role even stronger in 2023. Here are some of the best benefits you can offer: 1. Assist your allies

in extracting bright ideas from confusing mishmashes; 2. Help them cull fertile seeds from decaying dross; 3. As they wander through messy abysses, aid them in finding where the redemption is; 4. Cheer on their successes with wit and charm.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

A blogger named Daydreamydyke explains the art of bestowing soulful gifts. Don’t give people you care for generic consumer goods, she tells us. Instead, say, “I picked up this cool rock I found on the ground that reminded me of you,” or “I bought you this necklace for 50 cents at a yard sale because I thought you’d like it,” or “I’ve had this odd little treasure since childhood, but I feel like it could be of use to you or give you comfort, so I want you to have it.” That’s the spirit I hope you will adopt during the holiday season, Libra—as well as for all of 2023, which will be the year you could become a virtuoso gift-giver.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

In 1957, engineers Alfred Fielding and Marc Chavannes invented three-dimensional plastic wallpaper. No one bought the stuff, though. A few years later, they rebranded it as Bubble Wrap and marketed it as material to protect packages during shipment. Success! Its new use has been popular ever since. I suspect you are in a phase comparable to the time between when their plastic wallpaper flopped and before they dreamed up Bubble Wrap. Have faith in the possibility of there being a second act, Scorpio. Be alert for new applications of possibilities that didn’t quite make a splash the first time around.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

I applaud your expansive curiosity. I admire your yearning to learn more and more about our mysterious world as you add to your understanding of how the game of life works. Your greed for interesting experiences is good greed! It is one of your most beautiful qualities. But now and then, there come times when you need to scale down your quest for fresh, raw truths and work on integrating what you have already absorbed. The coming weeks will be one of those times.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Better than most, you have a rich potential to attune yourself to the cyclical patterns of life. It’s your birthright to become skilled at discerning natural rhythms at work in the human comedy. Even more fortunately, Capricorn, you can be deeply comforted by this awareness. Educated by it. Motivated by it. I hope that in 2023, you will develop your capacity to the next level. The cosmic flow will be on your side as you strive to feel the cosmic flow—and place yourself in closer and closer alignment with it.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Anne, a character in a book by L. M. Montgomery, says she prefers the word “dusk” over “twilight” because it sounds so “velvety and shadowy.” She continues, “In daylight, I belong to the world … in the night to sleep and eternity. But in the dusk, I’m free from both and belong only to myself.” According to my astrological assessment, you Aquarians will go through a dusklike phase in the coming weeks: a time when you will belong solely to yourself and any other creature you choose to join you in your velvety, shadowy emancipation.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

My Piscean friend Venus told me, “We Pisceans feel everything very intensely, but alas, we do not possess the survival skills of a Scorpio or the enough-is-enough, self-protective mechanism of the Cancerians. We are the water sign most susceptible to being engulfed and flooded and overwhelmed.” I think Venus is somewhat correct. But I also believe you Fishes have a potent asset that you may not fully appreciate. Your ability to tune into the very deepest levels of emotion provides you with access to a divine power source beyond your personality. If you allow it to, it will keep you shielded and safe and supported.

Swallowing a Spider To Kill the Fly

Byline: Cole Fullmer

The date is June 3, 2005, and it’s a Friday night in Millcreek. Brandon Voorhees, then a 25-year-old resident, and Utah native, is driving his Jeep Wrangler with his dog riding co-pilot. The top is down, the stars are shining, and the cool summer breeze is blowing through he and his furry friend’s hair. Life is good – and it should be.

Voorhees isn’t stoked because it’s pay day. He’s feeling eager about life because he just successfully proposed to his girlfriend, Emily, and the two are going to build a life together. First, he needs to pick up celebratory milkshakes at Shivers before getting home to his beautiful bride fiance.

“It all happened so quickly,” Voorhees recalls, during an interview with Salt Baked City 17-years later. He can remember driving West on 3300 South towards 2100 East, and suddenly there was a white flash, followed by a lot of violence and noise – and then everything went black.

Voorhees and his dog had collided with a Ford Bronco and they both were ejected from the vehicle. Miraculously, like a cat, the dog landed on its feet safely and ran the remaining 28 blocks home. Voorhees, who took the brunt of the fall on his head and shoulder wasn’t so lucky.

The injured young man was rushed to the University of Utah Intensive Care Unit (ICU) by ambulance where they began repairing two epidural hematomas with surgery. Those injuries are a traumatic accumulation of blood that gathers between the inner table of the skull and the stripped-off dural membrane on the brain.

He also broke a shoulder blade and a few vertebrae in his neck. Doctor’s also discovered during an MRI he was leaking CT fluid from his sinus cavity where there was a fracture in his forehead. Voorhees was in bad shape.

During emergency surgery he had 16 titanium screws and eight straps inserted to hold the damaged section of his skull together. Like most who suffer a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI), Voorhees fell into a coma and the outcome was still very uncertain.

Doctors at the U of U hospital warned Emily and her fiancé’s family that they needed to be prepared for the worst when dealing with a TBI this severe. There was a strong possibility that Voorhees wasn’t going to remember them, or even who he was after waking. At worst, he might remain in a vegetive state for the rest of his life.

Scan the QR Code to continue reading this Salt Baked City patient profile…

SUDOKU

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9. No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

Purge Season

It’s that time of the year when minimalists turn into maximalists. For those who celebrate the holidays, we find our larders filling up with homemade jam or liquor, gifts from friends and neighbors, packages hidden or under a tree and winter clothing piled everywhere on top of ski boots and poles.

It’s also the time of year right after Thanksgiving and heading into Hanukkah and Christmas when some folk think, “This place is too small—we’ve got to find a bigger place to live in this new year!”

Once the festivities are done, it’s time to declutter and purge if you’re planning to sell in the new year. You can read up on how to do it by watching a video or reading a book by Marie Kondo, the famous Japanese organizing consultant, or you can hire a local pro like Linda Hilton and her company, Sortingthrough.com, in Salt Lake.

Hilton has been helping people organize, purge and donate contents of houses for several years and is a licensed professional organizer. In January of every year, she has a 30-day cure to help you defrag (my word) your home.

She starts in a way that makes me smile by letting me believe I can declutter by suggesting on Day 1 to simply find a cardboard box. That’s easy! I can do that!

On Day 2, you put a piece of clothing in the box that you want to donate to someone who needs it more than you. Get the idea?

If you can’t do it yourself, Hilton and her team will, at an hourly rate, help you organize, pack, plan a yard sale, find movers, shredders or storage for you, donate unneeded items, hook you up with consignment stores or give you referrals for junk disposal and recycling services.

Frankly, my last move was overwhelming. I had a basement full of crap dating all the way back to college, a mix of treasured items and family keepsakes, as well as boxes and boxes of paperwork along with camping equipment, Burning Man stuff, staging items, collectables—you name it.

As time grew closer and closer to moving, I found myself paralyzed as to what I could pack, throw out/donate and store. I literally would go downstairs and just stare at my stuff. I finally called Linda and she patiently—and without judgment—put her hands on virtually every item or box down there and simply asked: “Keep? Donate? Throw out?”

After three sessions, we had the whole basement cleaned out and all the items on their way to a new but smaller storage (rental) facility, various charities, a local consignment store or the dumpster.

She was worth every penny and although I was quite embarrassed when I introduced her to my piles of detritus, I was completely joyful as we got into the pattern of packing and purging.

Buyers want to picture themselves in your home, so after the holidays, pack up your décor, organize the closets and cupboards and purge. Make your home open, light and neutral, if possible, for a cheap and easy way to stage it for a sale. n

E-commerce Associate (Vineyard, UT) Collect & analyze data on customer demographics, preferences, needs, and buying habits to identify potential markets and factors affecting product demand using Google Analytics. Prepare reports of findings, illustrating data graphically & translating complex findings into written text. Conduct online marketing initiatives and implement marketing acquisition funnels, such as paid ad placement, affiliate programs, and email promotions. 40hrs/wk, Bachelor’s degree in Business Management or related required. Resume to Nutricost Manufacturing, LLC Attn: Jessica Tyler, 351 E 1750 N, Vineyard, UT 84059

NEWS of the WEIRD

Unclear on the Concept

Apparently spiritual Zen wasn’t enough for Buddhist monks at two small temples in northern Thailand, The Washington Post reported. As part of an investigation into drug abuse in the Phetchabun province, officials visited the monasteries on Nov. 25 and discovered that all of the monks—even the abbot— tested positive for methamphetamine. “I was frightened because I never thought the monks would be addicted to drugs,” said Sungyut Namburi, the village headman. But the monks’ behavior gave them away. “When I inspected the abbot’s shelter, I was stunned because it was a mess,” Sungyut said. The monks were forced to leave the monkhood and enter rehab. For now, “the temple is empty,” Sungyut said.

In (Not So) Hot Water

n About 200 ice-fishing enthusiasts had to be evacuated from Upper Red Lake, Minnesota, on Nov. 28 after a large chunk of ice broke free from the main shoreline, stranding them about 30 yards away, WDIO-TV reported. The Beltrami County Sheriff’s office received a 911 call around 11:30 a.m.; employing a drone to assess the situation, officers used a temporary bridge to reach the fishers, along with airboats and water rescue boats. All anglers were returned to safety.

n On Nov. 28, as the oil and chemical tanker Alithini II pulled into Las Palmas in the Canary Islands, it also carried three stowaways—riding the ship’s rudder at the stern, just feet above the water line. The Guardian reported that the three men had survived an 11-day journey from Nigeria—more than 2,700 nautical miles—and were suffering from hypothermia and dehydration. The Spanish coast guard rescued them.

It’s a Mystery

Volusia County (Florida) officials are baffled by an object that has been unearthed at Dayton Beach Sands, clickorlando.com reported. In the aftermath of hurricanes Ian and Nicole, the 80- to 100-foot-long structure appeared, partially buried in the sand, said Volusia Beach Safety Deputy Chief Tammy Malphurs. “We’re not sure what it is,” she said, adding that she’d been on the beach for 25 years and had never seen it before. The storms caused unprecedented beach erosion. An archaeological team from the state is expected to visit soon to study the object.

Least Competent Criminal

When alleged thief Jonathan James Frazier, 35, snatched a surveillance camera from the backyard of a home in Tullahoma, Tennessee, the camera’s owner received a motion alert and watched on his cellphone as Frazier stashed it in his backpack, then pulled it out and sold it “to a male subject that police were able to identify,” the Tullahoma News reported. The live feed continued at the purchaser’s home, where officers caught up with the loot; the purchaser told them where they could find Frazier, and Frazier confessed to the larceny.

It’s Nice To Have a Hobby

High Point, North Carolina, resident Vic Clinco is believed to have the largest collection in the world of hot sauce, WFMY-TV reported on Nov. 29. Clinco started 26 years ago with three bottles; today he displays almost 11,000 bottles in his basement shrine. “It has turned into an obsession,” Clinco admits. He’s become such a celebrity in the hot sauce “culture” that manufacturers send him samples of their new varieties. “I want it to be shared with anyone that has the love of the heat as I do,” he said. He hopes to hold tastings to introduce others to the love of the spicy condiments.

Picky, Picky

The Cowboy State Daily reported on Nov. 27 that Vern and Shireen Liebl are hoping to make a move to Wyoming, with one very particular criterion dictating which city they choose: the public library. The Liebls have been traversing Wyoming, visiting libraries, for the last 3 1/2 months, hoping to see each one the state has to offer. There have been a few standouts along the way, they report: In Glenrock, Vern said, “They have these skylights up there, and it’s like blonde wood, and it just feels so light and airy.” He also loved the name of the library in Ranchester: the Tongue River Library. His infatuation with libraries also extends to bookstores: “I think that one of the finest smells in the world is to go into an old bookstore ... and just inhale the essence of the paper,” Vern said.

Our Litigious Society

Amanda Ramirez of Hialeah, Florida, filed a class-action lawsuit against Kraft Heinz Foods Co. on Nov. 18, seeking $5 million. Her complaint? Velveeta’s microwavable Shells & Cheese instructions indicate the dish is ready in 3 1/2 minutes, but Ramirez says that is “false and misleading because the product takes longer than the 3 1/2 minutes to prepare for consumption.” The suit goes on to say that the 3 1/2 minutes are merely the time needed for microwaving, which is just one of several steps. Kraft Heinz told Fox Business that the suit is “frivolous” and that they will “strongly defend against the allegations in the complaint.”

Awwwww

n Geoff Banks, 100, of Devon, England, and Celesta Byrne, 100, of Texas, have a unique bond: They’ve been pen pals since 1938, the BBC reported. Their friendship blossomed when they were in their 20s and an educational project put them in touch with each other. Since then, they’ve kept up with technology, switching to emails and video calls, and the two met in person in 2002. Banks calls Byrne “a very interesting person. We exchange stories and she’s very good to talk to.” Byrne shuts down any suggestion of romance over the years: “There wasn’t ‘glibbally globbally’ stuff, it was just normal neighbor people.”

n Brenda and Dennis Delgado first met by chance in August 2021, in the condiments aisle at Fry’s, a grocery in Casa Grande, Arizona. Dennis told Brenda a joke, she laughed, and they talked for 30 minutes before exchanging their contact info, News12-TV reported. Both were widowed, and as they spent more time together, they grew close. So when they decided to tie the knot, they returned to the scene of the spark: the mayonnaise aisle. On Nov. 19, they exchanged vows on Aisle 8 as the “Wedding March” played over the store’s loudspeakers. “It was wonderful,” Dennis said. Floral arrangements provided by the store included Miracle Whip and mayo. “If you’re looking for love, go to Fry’s,” Brenda said. “Keep looking.”

Not Fit for Office

Bud May, 37, of Kyle, South Dakota, lost his bid for a state House seat in 2022—and it may have been a good thing. On Nov. 13, May was arrested and charged with second-degree rape after an alleged assault on a woman in a bar bathroom stall, the Argus Leader reported. When he was asked in court whether the interaction was consensual, he replied, “I’m 6-foot-8, it’s all consensual.” Police reported that when they found the victim, she was cowering behind the bar and had dirt and blood on her, which she said was May’s because he was in an earlier altercation. May appeared in court on Nov. 14 for a separate incident, and he has three outstanding warrants from the Oglala Sioux Tribe Department of Public Safety from September and October. Send

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