City Weekly Apr 24, 2014 by Copperfield Publishing

CITYWEEKLY.NET april 24, 2014 | VOL. 30 N0. 5 0

Colin Wolf explores the bizarre

sides of Salt Lake City and himself.

CONTENTS

cityweekly.net

42 18

MUSIC

COVER STORY

By Gavin Sheehan

Cover illustration by Susan Kruithof

58 COMMUNITY BEAT 59 FREE WILL astrology 62 URBAN LIVING

Solarsuit release debut before The weird mind of Colin Wolf, leaving on LDS missions. coming to a paper near you. COMMUNITY By Colin Wolf

LETTERS opinion

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Read news, restaurant reviews, Private Eye, The Ocho, Big Shiny Robot & more before they’re in print. n CITY WEEKLY STORE discounts

25 DANCE

By Katherine pioli

Ririe-Woodbury’s Accelerate explores future of dance.

n “Glad You Asked” entertainment to-do lists n CW blogs, including Gavin’s Underground, Travel Tramps and the Secret Handshake n More than 1,750 restaurants and nightclub listings at CityWeekly.net n Facebook.com/SLCWeekly n Twitter: @CityWeekly n Instagram: @SLCityWeekly

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4 | APRIL 24, 2014

Letters You Don’t Know Disc Golf

Nice work alienating readers who also happen to be avid disc golfers [Hits & Misses, April 10, City Weekly]. The course in Rose Park is going to save a large sum of money per year for the city. We do all the course maintenance ourselves. The two existing courses in the valley are so overcrowded with new players that this course is happening at just the right time. Your comment was insensitive and ignorant. Gain a healthier respect for human variety, and don’t judge a sport’s significance that you are obviously unaware of.

Stephen Franco Ukiah, Calif.

Public Disservice

Rep. Greg Hughes is no fan of public transit. The only time he gets on a bus, Trax or FrontRunner is for a photo op. The majority of those on the UTA board of trustees are not on the board to serve the people, but so their résumés look good. UTA has one of the best rail systems in the country, but a very poor bus system. The majority of people who take Trax and FrontRunner need to drive to a park & ride lot. Trax is running at 5 a.m. Why can’t buses run at 5 a.m.? UTA has hurt a lot of people who have lost their jobs because they lost their transportation to work. UTA has very poor customer service and is not a friendly car-free system.

WRITE US: Salt Lake City Weekly, 248 S. Main, Salt Lake City, UT 84101. E-mail: comments@cityweekly.net. Fax: 801-575-6106. We reserve the right to edit for length and clarity. Preference will be given to letters that are 300 words or less and sent uniquely to City Weekly. Full name, address and phone number must be included, even on e-mailed submissions, for verification purposes. The corruption at UTA is worse than what John Swallow did, because there has been billions of taxpayers’ dollars involved. UTA executives are able to retire as billionaires at taxpayers’ expense.

Tammi Diaz Salt Lake City

Why Stop There?

I am happy for the Utah parents who can now obtain cannabis products that will help seizure-prone children. It’s a grand achievement for Utah. Some of these parents’ daily stress will be diminished with a simple, effective remedy that, in a sane world, could be grown in their home at near zero cost. But this also makes me jealous. Over the past several months, my elderly mother has begun to develop tell-tale signs of dementia. While accepted anti-dementia drugs merely slow the loss of brain cells, research has shown that cannabis actually promotes brain-cell growth, potentially reversing Alzheimer’s progression and restoring some normal brain function—and yet it is still considered a criminal offense if I were to obtain some and administer it to my mother. Even now, as the Drug Enforcement Administration spends millions of our tax dollars—most directed toward marijuana suppression—pharmaceutical companies who receive subsidies (again our tax money) to figure out how

to process, package and market it at a cost they see fit to make available to the public under their conditions: $$$. Indeed, it is great that it will be available for this small group of people in Utah, but why stop there? For one moment, place the economic benefit to the greater public above the corporate bottom line. Consider what it would mean to those who can benefit from cannabis products if they could obtain relief at much lower costs, or grow their own. That money—left in our hands rather than funneled into CEO and shareholder profits—would mean a lot. It’s time Utah governance realized this and joined our neighboring Western states in the growing anti-prohibition movement.

Clee P. Ames Eureka

Correction: The article “Waste Watch” [April 17, City Weekly] misstated the location of an old oil drum that had been reported to the Department of Environmental Equality. The oil drum was found on the north end of Salt Lake City.

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OPINION

Sivilized

I recently finished teaching The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn for what may be the last time. I might be transferred to the history department next year, and while I’m excited to teach a new subject and grow as an educator, I am going to miss teaching novels. The most wonderful part of being an English teacher is holding a book in your hand and knowing that it is your job to bring that novel to life. It feels good knowing your co-workers are people like Harper Lee and Mark Twain. I teach from the shoulders of giants. I will particularly miss my favorite coworker, Huck Finn, a 13-year-old boy with distaste for becoming “sivilized.” Huck and I have a lot in common: accidentally offensive (Huck horrifies his foster parent when he tells her he’d rather go to hell if it means being with his friends, a sentiment I also espouse), earnest, funny and deeply conflicted as to what it means to be good. Huck is raised in the violent and racist antebellum South, taught from infancy that being a “low-down abolitionist” is a crime against God, and consistently criticized for not measuring up to society’s expectations of manliness (Huck climbs a tree, like a “coward,” to avoid being killed in a multigenerational feud). Despite his antics, Huck desperately wants to be good. He is consumed with guilt when he decides to help runaway slave Jim escape to freedom, and is constantly torn between the devotion he feels toward Jim as his only true friend and his loyalty to the religious values of his upbringing. Near the novel’s conclusion, Huck decides he must finally learn to “be good.” He kneels down to pray and repent for helping Jim, but the words don’t come. He isn’t able to pray until he resolves to confess and turn Jim in, but at the last moment, he changes his mind. When forced to decide between being good and “clean” and abandoning his friend, he picks Jim. He chooses love. He knows it will change his life forever, and maybe even his salvation, but

BY STEPHANIE LAURITZEN

he doesn’t care. With all the gumption a 13-year-old boy can muster, he declares, “All right then, I’ll go to hell.” I try to be as brave as Huck. Like Huck, I’ve stood at the brink of disaster, torn “betwixt two things” and forced to decide “for-ever” which one I would choose. I’ve tried to pray and I can’t. Raised in a homophobic and benignly patriarchal religion, I’ve climbed a tree (wearing pants) to avoid being killed in the multigenerational feud between equality and sexism raging in my church. I’ve been called much worse than a coward for refusing to accept my role as a second-class citizen in the LDS faith. And if the people who love the outcast and oppressed go to hell, I want to go too, because that’s where my friends are. I can’t imagine enjoying a heaven without my gay, feminist, social-activist friends. I don’t want to be sivilized. But like Huck, I struggle with my choice. Even after deciding he is willing to go to hell for Jim, Huck still doubts his decision. When his friend Tom Saw yer is willing to help free Jim, Huck is astonished. “Here was a boy that was respectable and well brung up; and had a character to lose, and folks at home that had characters; and he was bright … I ought to just up and tell him so; and be his true friend, and let him quit the thing right where he was and save himself.” I’ve sometimes longed to be like the “well-behaved Mormon women” who conform so perfectly to what our church expects of us. I listen to fiery sermons on “protecting the traditional family,” and like Huck, I’ve allowed myself to believe the messages that tell me I’m bad. Like Huck, I sometimes wonder why I have a conscience when all it does is “takes up more room than all the rest of a person’s insides, and yet ain’t no good, nohow.” I’ve been raised my whole life to listen to my conscience, this enormous thing inside me that tells me if God is “no respecter of persons,” I shouldn’t be either, and yet this conscience gets me in more trouble than I ever imagined. If Huck is a “low-down

abolitionist,” I’m a “low-down feminist and LGBT ally,” and sometimes I internalize the message that this dooms me to Huck’s fate as an orphan and outcast. All Huck wants is the thing that Tom takes for granted: a family and a place in the community where he is accepted for who he is, not who he is supposed to be. I wish I didn’t have to choose betwixt being “respectable and well brung-up” and my devotion to Jim in his many modern incarnations. My students always think The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn has a happy ending. As it turns out, Jim’s been free all along, set free in the will of his master after she dies. Even better, Huck is offered the one thing he’s always wanted: a home with Tom’s relatives, where he will be raised with all the advantages he envies in Tom. But, true to his conscience, Huck makes a different choice. “I reckon I got to light out for the territory ahead of the rest, because Aunt Sally she’s going to adopt me and sivilize me, and I can’t stand it. I been there before.” Huck leaves for the West because he’s “ahead of the rest.” His refusal to succumb to the racism and religious dogma of his culture puts him beyond his time, but it’s a lonely road to wander. But I’m also more like Tom than I dare to admit, raised with every advantage and often homesick for the privilege I’ve left behind. So every time I finish Huck Finn, I hope the territory out West is beautiful. I hope Huck strikes it rich panning for gold and going on adventures better than anything “sivilization” can offer. I hope it for Huck, and I hope it for me, too. Note: I’d like to personally apologize to Mark Twain for deliberately ignoring his notice at the beginning of the novel: “Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot.” CW

“All right then, I’ll go to hell.”

Stephanie Lauritizen blogs at MormonChildBride.blogspot.com. Send feedback to comments@cityweekly.net.

STAFF BOX

Readers can comment at cityweekly.net

What fictional character are you like? Bill Frost: Colin Wolf. Cracked magazine deserves major credit for creating such a ridiculous character.

John Saltas: Yossarian from Catch-22 written by Joseph Heller. No matter what, it’s never over. Plus, no matter the difficulty, like Yossarian, I’ve been surrounded by wacky characters for years—both funny and tragic. Ylish Merkley: Link from the Legend of Zelda series. The silent badass dressed in green. I also have problems jumping from time to time and sleeping for too long.

Eric S. Peterson: I’m a big believer in the Lt. Columbo model of investigation. It’s something I apply in investigative journalism. It’s more advantageous when investigating powerful people to be underestimated as a scatter-brained slob than to act like a big shot who knows what they’re doing.

Colin Wolf: I’ll tell you what I told my last Tinder date: “I’m sort of like Gandalf ... my passion is restoring peace to realms.” Paula Saltas: Mary Poppins—practically perfect in every way.

Susan Kruithof: Velma from Scooby Doo. She’s short, busty and myopic. And damn I do like me some penny loafers.

Colby Frazier: Jack Burns, the hero in Edward Abbey’s second novel, The Brave Cowboy.

Kolbie Stonehocker: I found an instant kindred spirit in Cath, from Rainbow Rowell’s Fangirl. She’s extremely introverted, preferring to live in the world found in her favorite book series instead of interacting with real-life people, and spends hours hunched over her laptop, furiously writing. We also share a deep fear of cafeterias.

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What is it about “the rule of law” that makes it so ambiguous, especially to the far right? If you’re talking about immigration reform, it’s “what part of illegal don’t they understand?” But if it’s about federal lands, the “rule” is more about the constitutional tension between states and federal control, with the states thumbing their noses at the feds. Western lawmakers have been meeting to that end. If it’s not bad enough that those dingy constitutional sheriffs want to take up arms against the feds, now we’ve got Richard Mack siding with Cliven Bundy and thinking it might be good to put women out front to get shot by Bureau of Land Management officers. Look beneath the so-called love of the land to see that Bundy owes a bunch of money to the feds and doesn’t want to pay. Oh, well. These days, almost any illegal activity can be turned into a fight for rights. But that’s not the Rule of Law.

Land Grab Speaking of federal lands, the good stewards of the land aren’t being very good lately. San Juan Commissioner Phil Lyman has decided to ride his ATV into Recapture Canyon in protest of the BLM closing access to motorized vehicles. The BLM is assessing the impacts of ATVs and new roads on the area, but San Juan County isn’t in the mood to wait. This land is my land, they chant, even as recreationists in another county— Utah—have shot up petroglyphs and left a compendium of garbage for target shooting in the Lake Mountain area. The Utah School & Institutional Trust Lands Administration closed access to the most heavily abused 1,450 acres of land. Here is a window into what happens when people think they’re entitled to land, but without responsibility.

Go Utes At least we’re not the Redskins—anymore. That was changed in 1972 when the University of Utah chose to go with the Utes as its mascot. Meanwhile, a Houston school district just spent $250,000 to change culturally insensitive mascot names—yes, Redskins, and even Indians. And then there’s the Cleveland Indians mascot, Chief Wahoo, who probably will be the next to go. But the U is valiantly moving ahead to preserve its Ute moniker, and recently signed a deal with the Ute Indian tribe that says it’s OK. Brad Rock of the Deseret News was brave enough to suggest going ahead and changing the name anyway. He got plenty of nasty responses—some from Native Americans. But, bottom line, people are not mascots.

NIKI CHAN

Rights & Wrong

At Utah Aikikai, you’ll find sensei Rick Berardini (right) and senior instructor Marc Fisher (left), who live and teach the art of peace—the Japanese martial art of aikido. Utah Aikikai (3474 S. 2300 East, Suite 12, Millcreek, 801-891-8945, UtahAiki. com) is open seven days a week with classes for people of all ages. Members of the Utah Aikikai dojo will be demonstrating aikido during the free Nihon Matsuri festival on Saturday, April 26 (100 South between 200 West and 300 West, 10 a.m.-5 p.m., NihonMatsuri.com); the performance will be at 1 p.m. on the east stage directly behind the Salt Palace. Read the full interview at CityWeekly.net.

How is aikido different from other martial arts?

Rick Berardini: Karate is a competition fighting sport. Aikido is a full-blown selfdefense martial art. It’s made to put people in a position in which they are somewhat subdued, and you can take it from there. You can take it to the ground if you need to. A lot of cops are trained in light aikido in order to learn handcuffing techniques. Marc Fisher: Karate is also more offensive, while Aikido is more defensive. Aikido uses the attacker’s energy and harmonizes with it. That’s where you get the throws and the joint locks, because you’re keeping that energy continuous. You don’t want to stop the attack; you want to keep that energy going. A lot of the time, people look at aikido as being orchestrated, but it’s not; it just flows.

Does aikido have a big presence like in Utah?

RB: For the longest time, before 2008—which is the Great Depression of the modern days—we were one of the biggest dojos in the country. I think our high was about 140 students. Recreational activities like martial arts or ballet classes are the first to go when you have to tighten your belt. You constantly have this turnover in any martial art—probably about 85 percent of people that try it will not continue. Our dojo has gotten leaner and meaner as far as how we have to operate because we don’t have the luxury of having 100-plus students, which is a very big dojo by any standards.

Is there a non-intimidating way to get into aikido?

RB: We always have people come in to watch a class when they first come in. By seeing a class, they can really get a feel for it. And if we can accommodate them, we’ll even put them on the mat and let them try a class. To me, the most important person on the mat is the new guy. I just remember in karate being that new guy. In karate, it’s all about doing kata in front of the mirror. You can always see that new guy in the back—everyone can see him—and he’s back there floundering. It’s not like that here. In aikido, we never do solo kata, only in pairs, so that you never get stuck being that one new guy where you just wanna go crawl in a hole and leave.

Is there a movie like The Karate Kid that feature aikido?

MF: The best movie for Aikido is Above the Law by Tom Segal, which really publicized aikido when it came out.

What’s the Nihon Matsuri festival like? RB: It’s one of the bigger culture festivals in town. You’ll see people walking around dressed up. My wife’s Japanese, you’ll see her walking around in her kimono, a real one. They’ll have women dancing and kids doing martial arts and people doing various other things. Then the younger kids dressed up as anime characters and Harajuku Girls.

Hilary Packham comments@cityweekly.net

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STRAIGHT DOPE Washing Up

BY CECIL ADAMS

I was talking to someone at work who recently stayed with relatives in England, and was surprised when she told me sometimes her mother’s food tasted like soap because her family didn’t rinse dishes after washing them—they just set them in a rack to dry. She said everyone does it that way in England. Is that really true? Wouldn’t eating soap be bad for you? —Amanda Wyman, Rhinelander, Wis. Just when you think nothing surprises you, something surprises you. I had, of course, heard U.K. horror stories about bad teeth, inedible food, chilblains stemming from constant damp, ineffectual plumbing, football hooligans, shoddy automobiles, truculent unions, standoffish people, and general torpor and decline. However, on visiting the kingdom recently and finding it (or anyway London and Oxfordshire) entirely up to date, the weather fine and the citizenry charming, I figured such talk was lingering bad PR stemming from shock at loss of empire, and that tales of unrinsed dishes were likewise a vestige of the past. I said as much to my assistant Fierra, who, despite having developed an inexplicable fondness for American muscle cars during her time in the United States, proclaims her English origins every time she opens her mouth. Fierra made an expression that bore a resemblance to a smile. “Let me share a story,” she said. “Back when I was in Brownies, they had a Housework badge. As part of our Housework badge, we had to know how to wash up and dry dishes. They taught you to run hot water with washing-up liquid into the washing-up bowl and wash from least dirty to most—so to start with the glassware, and then the cutlery, after that any cups, side plates and bowls. Then on to the main plates that held greasy food like roast meat, roast potatoes, etc. After that, you’d go on to the pots and pans, with the roasting tray or casserole dish being the last. All the dishes would go on the dish rack—you would dry off whatever didn’t fit on the rack, but you certainly wouldn’t rinse anything. Only if the water turned into soup you might swap it out entirely, or you might put some of the pans or really nasty dishes to soak, then wash them later with fresh water.” “They gave a badge for that?” I asked. “They did.” “And I am to understand that this was the standard of hygiene that, in the days before shared housework, was placed before the future homemakers of Britain as a model to emulate and admire?” “You are.” “And it has occurred to no one in England that leaving soap on the dishes means you taste it with every meal?” “So you say. I never tasted it, nor did any of my family and friends. It only seems to be Americans who are complaining about our dishes.”

SLUG SIGNORINO

“I don’t wish to be disrespectful. However, a country that gives its traditional dishes names such as ‘toad-in-the-hole,’ ‘bubble and squeak’ and ‘spotted dick’ isn’t setting itself a high bar, foodwise.” “The country that gave the world supersizing, and where waiters routinely ask ‘Are you still working on that?’ as though you were digging a ditch, is hardly in a position to complain.” “Surely Britons rinse off when they shower?” “They do, but normally one doesn’t bring in the dishes when one showers. In any case, indoor bathrooms were a luxury in the U.K. until the 1960s, and showers didn’t become common until the 1980s. Before that, one took a bath, and the nature of a bath is such that you were often left with some residual soap.” “And no one minded.” “It depends what you mean by minded. We’re a frugal people, only recently arrived at wealth, and then mostly in the southeast of England. We’ve grown up making do. Only about 4 in 10 homes have an automatic dishwasher, compared to 78 percent in the U.S. In Britain, water and heating costs are higher, sinks are smaller, and rather than two bowls served by a single mixing tap, we usually have a single bowl with two spigots, all of which makes rinsing difficult. Even so, of Britons who wash dishes by hand, more than 60 percent rinse them afterward.” “There you go,” I said. “By your own account, not rinsing was once the default national practice, and now it’s receding into history. Soon this disgusting habit will be at an end, and with it the risk of gastroenteritis the next time some Brit invites you over for shepherd’s pie.” “Nonsense,” said Fierra. “Whatever the theoretical risk, there’s no evidence of any health consequences arising from British dishwashing methods. “Let’s put this in perspective. All societies have their quirks. Britons aren’t much for rinsing dishes, while in the U.S ... well, let me put it to you: What would you rather endure—the occasional taste of soap, in the opinion of some, or a lifetime of insipid cheese, chocolate and beer?” Send questions to Cecil via StraightDope. com or write him c/o Chicago Reader, 350 N. Orleans, Chicago 60654.

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APRIL 24, 2014 | 11

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12 | APRIL 24, 2014

NEWS Cleaning the Mean Streets

A new work program hires the homeless to clean up around shelters. By Eric S. Peterson epeterson@cityweekly.net @ericspeterson Life on the streets for Salt Lake City’s homeless is not easy, nor is it pretty, given the way drugs, despair and trash tend to pile up around the sidewalks near The Road Home homeless shelter on 210 S. Rio Grande St. It’s a scene that most motorists drive past quickly, windows rolled up and doors locked. Except recently, when a car slowed to a stop and a woman rolled her window down to tell a shelter resident “Thank you, you guys are doing a great job!” It was an unusual exchange, but one that’s becoming more common as city residents recognize members of the Salt Lake City Clean Streets Team for their work beautifying a neglected part of town. The team is comprised of homeless residents and those living in supportive housing who’ve been selected to do parttime work cleaning up garbage, shoveling walks and taking care of the neighborhood around the shelter and Pioneer Park at 300 South and 300 West—even cleaning up in front of businesses that ask for assistance. The program has been up and running since September 2013, giving some of the city’s most vulnerable an opportunity to better themselves and their city at the same time. The program is a collaboration between partners like the Downtown Alliance, Salt Lake City, Valley Services and other organizations. For Camille Winnie of the Downtown Alliance, the program’s goals of helping clients are simple: “Get a résumé, get some work experience, get a positive reference and also make some introduction to other things that they wouldn’t have on their own,” she says. “It’s kind of like that midway step. It’s transitional in that we want them to use that as a stepping stone.” It’s a program that was scoffed at by at least one city council member a few years ago. But now, thanks to city funding and support from partners like GE Capital, CitiBank and the Utah Transit Authority, 12 individuals have transitioned from unemployment and life on the margins to full-time employment.

Homelessness The program is overseen by Valley Services, which employs the team members, and at any given time has 16 minimum-wage employees working in three-hour shifts cleaning up the streets. Rob Ferris of Valley Services, who coordinates the street team’s work, says the effect on the neighborhood is clearly noticeable and the effect on the employees themselves is tremendous. “They’re no longer homeless or drug addicts or ex-drug addicts. They are working, they have a sense of pride, a sense of confidence in what they’re doing,” even as they work among other homeless still clinging to the drug and crime ridden streets, he says. “While they’re out working, they feel like, ‘This is not me anymore.’ They are able to focus on what’s important.” Ferris manages 19 contracts through Valley Services that employ people who have difficulty finding work, especially those held back by criminal backgrounds. Ferris says that of 160 employees, 140 or so have criminal backgrounds. City Weekly spoke with a number of street team members, who asked to have their last names withheld, about their experiences. Caroll has been part of the program since it began, and was lucky to have the work after her struggles with methamphetamine cost her the full-time job she had working at the airport. Now she cleans up around the shelter, and even when faced with the sight of rampant drug use, her resolve to stay clean isn’t tested by what she sees— rather, it’s strengthened. “It helps me to see how bad they’ve gotten,” Caroll says. “I realize what could have happened to me if I hadn’t got help at the time.” Clean Team member Beth wound up living at the downtown shelter after losing a good-paying job she’d held for more than eight years at a four-star Park City hotel in the hospitality industry. “When the economy tanked, they just laid people off right and left,” Beth says. Now in her 60s, Beth is using the job to support herself while she retrains to do administrative work as a receptionist. She’s taken all the free Microsoft Office classes at the Salt Lake City Main Library that she can. But even without a criminal background, she says she struggles with age discrimination. David, who was recently promoted on the street team to become a team leader, used to work under-the-table construction jobs for friends remodeling homes. After the economic crash, the work dried up, and because he had been operating under the table, he didn’t have references that he could list on an application. He

gets by now on his work with the street team, though he says that since he sleeps every night on the hard ground in his tent, it’s been tough getting used to waking up in the morning on time to start his shifts. Before getting a shot with Valley Services, Cary wrestled with a crack addiction; he’d gotten caught up in the drug while working as DJ in the downtown nightclub scene for more than a decade. Like many who have a substance-abuse problem, Cary’s life followed a seemingly inevitable trajectory. “During the time I was homeless, I was on the street, selling drugs, doing drugs and my diabetes got way out of whack,” he says. “Got arrested and spent some time in jail.” While checking in with the Fourth Street Clinic to get help with his diabetes, he eventually got put on a list and got into the supportive housing at Palmer Court. He then got a part-time job with Valley Services that, day by day, allowed him to gain more and more responsibility. He’s gone from working a few hours a day to, now, working full-time with benefits under Ferris as the site supervisor for Valley Service’s contracts, including with the Street Team, and also working at another part-time cleaning job. The work, he says, “gives you a sense of pride and self worth.”

Members of the Clean Streets Team picking up around the shelter area in mid-April.

It’s a feeling that team members say is something that spreads out beyond even them. Beth says that since she’s been cleaning up around the shelter, the homeless who might have formerly tossed bottles or wrappers on the ground now throw them in the garbage, helping out the Clean Team. “People who live there recognize the problem; they’re trying to help,” Beth says. “We see people say, ‘Oh wait let me pick this up and help you.’” CW

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The One Wasatch concept, with blue dots representing a potential connection between resorts.

War of the Wasatch As development in the Wasatch grows, Save Our Canyons works for wilderness and water protection.

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By Colby Frazier cfrazier@cityweekly.net @colbyfrazierlp

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14 | APRIL 24, 2014

EN V I R ONMEN T

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NEWS

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A persistent protector of the Wasatch Mountains is the group Save Our Canyons. Founded in 1972, Save Our Canyons helped establish the Lone Peak, Mount Olympus and Twin Peaks wilderness areas. Combined, these three wild places protect nearly 57,000 acres of the Wasatch from the teeth of bulldozers. Whether it’s a housing development or a hiker straying from the trail, threats to the Wasatch watershed—which supplies drinking water to 340,000 people— abound. Periodic efforts to develop in the Wasatch shine a light on the efforts to balance development and conservation. And, at present, the spotlight is bright. In March, Ski Utah unveiled an ambitious plan to link all seven of the central Wasatch ski resorts via ski lifts. Hailed as a boon for the resorts and tourism interests, supporters of the plan, called One Wasatch, say the linkage will give Utah’s slopes a more European feel and will help the Beehive State chip away at the large slices of the ski tourism pie held by Colorado and California. But the plan, which Ski Utah officials say can be developed on private land with private money without harming the watershed, was blasted by Save Our Canyons, which calls the effort “One horrible plan for the Wasatch Mountains.” Ski resorts in the Wasatch have a long history of expansion, which Fisher calls the “businessification of our watershed.” Areas cleared to make way for ski lifts inevitably fill in with condominiums and luxury homes, he says, noting that real estate, not the sale of lift tickets, is what fuels the modern ski industry.

“It always starts with a ski lift,” Fisher says. “But it always gets filled in with homes, restaurants, coasters and mechanical bulls.” (Snowbird has a mechanical bull.) Fisher wonders when enough development in the canyons—and by default, in the protected watershed—is enough. He points out that a car spilling oil or gasoline on the road up Little or Big Cottonwood Canyon is enough to prompt water-quality officials to stop taking in water at the treatment plants at the base of the canyon. With this level of sensitivity and the magnitude of what’s at state—clean water—Fisher says it’s a gift to have the Wasatch open at all. This fact, he says, should make those who use the Wasatch that much more thoughtful of what they do there. “There are watersheds in this country that are closed to human access because the water resources that come to them are more valuable in some people’s eyes than the recreation opportunities that might exist on those watersheds,” Fisher says. Efforts to further protect the watershed are afoot. In July 2013, Congressman Jim Matheson introduced legislation that aims to establish the Wasatch Wilderness & Watershed Protection Act, which would fill in some of the gaps between already established wilderness areas by setting aside an additional 25,000 acres for protection. To date, this effort has failed to gain traction in Washington. And Matheson, who has said he won’t run for an eighth term, is in his last year as a representative. On the local level, Save Our Canyons, along with businesses, municipalities, counties and other stakeholders, has embarked on a multi-year effort called the Mountain Accord, which aims to come to a collective consensus on how best to manage the heavily trafficked Wasatch long into the future. The snow Utahns love to ski on eventually comes out of their taps. This close relationship with a water source is rare, Fisher says, and needs to be seen for what it is, not simply commodified. “That’s pretty amazing to rely on that and just to be able to witness it,” he says. “We enjoy a connection to our environment that is pretty unique in that regard.” CW

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APRIL 24, 2014 | 15

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16 | APRIL 24, 2014

the

OCHO

the list of EIGHT

by bill frost

@bill_frost

Stockton to Mal … onnne

Eight favorable takeaways from the worst Utah Jazz season since the ’80s:

8. If you still haven’t learned

the name of “that guy who replaced Jerry Sloan,” you’re in luck.

7. One more “rebuilding”

season and the Jazz will be eligible for huge Home Depot discounts.

6. The local performance

pressure is off the Salt Lake Bees, Real Salt Lake and the Utah Crimson Fliers Quidditch Team.

5. EnergySolutions Arena may be renamed Cymbalta SadBox Stadium.

Remember all those $1 Chicken McNuggets at McDonald’s on home-game days, ingrates?

The Jazz Bear died peacefully in bed, his last words being “Stockton to Mal … onnne.”

The odds that the Jazz will hire a new goofy-looking white coach more Utahns can relate to are pretty good.

1. You got two basketball-

related Ochos this season. You’re welcome.

Curses, Foiled Again

NEWS

When the police officer who stopped Douglas Glidden, 25, in Livermore Falls, Maine, found marijuana in Glidden’s vehicle, Glidden insisted the pot couldn’t be his because he had stolen the car. Indeed, the car had been reported stolen, according to Lt. Joseph Sage, who said Glidden was charged with felony car theft, plus a civil violation for pot possession. (Franklin Sun Journal)

QUIRKS

n Acting on a tip that fugitive Michelle Singleton, 66, had been living under an assumed identity for 18 years, authorities tracked her to a houseboat in Key West, Fla. She’d stolen a birth certificate and become Catherine Harris. When sheriff’s detectives asked for her identification, she handed them a driver’s license for Harris, but it expired in 2012. Detectives then asked for her birth certificate, but while fumbling with her papers, she dropped a birth certificate and Social Security card that the detectives noticed were for Singleton. They promptly arrested her. (New York Daily News)

Foodies Military researchers working on new ready-to-eat meals for soldiers said they’ve concocted a pizza that doesn’t need freezing or even refrigeration. “You can basically take the pizza, leave it on the counter, packaged, for three years, and it’d still be edible,” said food scientist Michelle Richardson of the U.S. Army Natick Soldier Research, Development & Engineering Center in Massachusetts. Noting that pizza is among the most requested items soldiers say they want added to their rations, Richardson said she spent two years working on the new recipe. (Associated Press). n Americans waste nearly one-third of the food they buy, according to a report by the U.S. Department of Agriculture. A major reason that 133 billion pounds of food produced for American to eat was wasted in 2010, the report said, is that people simply lost interest in food after they bought it. That includes papayas, which, the report noted, many people buy without knowing when they’re ripe, how to prepare them or how to use them as an ingredient. The report conceded that there “is a practical limit to how much food loss the United States can prevent or reduce.” (Washington Examiner) n Massachusetts enacted a ban on commercial food waste disposal, requiring that food waste be diverted to “be converted to clean energy or sent to composting and animal-feed operations.” The disposal ban, which takes effect Oct. 1, 2014, will, according to state Sen. Marc R. Pacheco, “green up the bottom

BY R OL A N D S W EE T line,” affects 1,700 businesses and institutions that each disposes of at least one ton of organic material per week. (Devens’ Nashoba Publishing)

Overreaction of the Week

Pang Se Vang, 84, shot his son to death after the son installed cable television in their home in Maplewood, Minn., but then refused to pay the bill. Police arrived to find Vang locked in a bedroom, declaring he had stabbed himself in the chest so he could die and settle the dispute with his son in the afterlife. (Minneapolis’s WCCO-TV)

Nearer My God to Thee Benito Flores, 43, was swept out to sea while helping his cousin perform a baptism ceremony on the beach in Central Coast, Calif. “A big wave came and took Benito,” said Pastor Maurigro Cervantes. “I tried to take him out, he was heavy and then another big wave came.” (The Washington Times)

Second-Amendment Follies After a tree-removal crew reported being chased off by a shirtless Michael Smith with a handgun, police armed with assault rifles surrounded the man’s home in Norridgewock, Maine. The officers stood down when they learned that the “gun” was actually a tattoo of a handgun on Smith’s stomach that looks like a gun tucked into his waistband (Associated Press)

The Honeymoon Is Over A flight from Atlanta to Costa Rica made an unscheduled stop in Grand Cayman to hand over a passenger who had gotten into a drunken argument with his bride on their honeymoon. Royal Cayman Islands Chief Inspector Raymond Christian said the groom was charged with being drunk and disorderly. The bride remained on the Delta Air Lines flight. (Reuters) n Soon after American tourist Erin Willinger, 35, met rickshaw driver Bunty Sharma, 32, outside the Taj Mahal in Agra, India, in September 2013, they wed. The marriage quickly soured because of “differences in their relationship,” Police Chief Shalabh Mathur said. Accusing his wife of smoking too much and “talking to other men,” Sharma stabbed her to death, then went home and killed himself by igniting a gas canister and causing his house to explode. (CNN)

Compiled from mainstream news sources by Roland Sweet. Authentication on demand.

CITIZEN REVOLT

by ERIC S. PETERSON @ericspeterson

Walk for Awareness Warmer weather marks the start of the fun run and awareness-raising charity walk season. This weekend, you can put your calves and conscience to work at the Salt Lake City Multiple Sclerosis walk. You can also attend a meeting hosted by the Southern Utah Wilderness Alliance on how to protect Utah’s redrock canyon country. Later on, don’t miss a discussion on how a fossil-fuelfree and sustainable economy would work in our world.

MS Walk 2014

Saturday, April 26 Multiple Sclerosis is a debilitating disease of the nervous system that affects millions worldwide. Luckily, millions more are doing all they can to raise awareness of research efforts to combat and treat this disease, and you can join in by participating in the Salt Lake City MS Walk this weekend. Individual registrants can donate as much as they want to the cause, register the day of the walk and take part in the threemile walk that includes breakfast and snacks as well as a kids zone for the little ones. No fees are required, but donations are welcome. Olympic Legacy Park Plaza, 90 S. 400 West, 801-424-0113, April 26, Registration 8 a.m., program begins 9:40 a.m., http://citywk.ly/1gNUcQ2

Protecting Utah’s Red-Rock Canyon Country Sunday, April 27

Southern Utah Wilderness Alliance’s Terri Martin has worked as the Rocky Mountain regional director for the National Parks Conservation Association for 15 years. At this event, Martin will present a slideshow of the red-rock country and explain how you can help protect Utah’s priceless desert wilds. Salt Lake City Main Library, 210 E. 400 South, 801-486-3161, April 27, 2-3:30 p.m., SUWA.org

Fossil Free Sustainable Economy Tuesday, April 29

Get a glimpse at what a fossil-fuelfree economy would look like at this free talk by Garvin Jabusch, co-founder of Green Alpha Advisors—an assetmanagement firm focusing on investing that helps the economy move away from environmentally damaging shortterm decisions and toward long-term resource-smart ones. First Unitarian Church of Salt Lake City, 569 S. 1300 East, 801-582-8687, April 29, 7 p.m.

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APRIL 24, 2014 | 17

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18 | APRIL 24, 2014

Th e

S ecret

H andshake Colin Wolf explores the

bizarre sides of Salt Lake City and himself. By Colin Wolf •

cwolf@cityweekly.net

Fair warning: What you’re about to read is pointless.

o one really knows how Colin Wolf bamboozled his way into a job with City Weekly. He started freelancing in late 2011 with a cover story about a local private investigator. Then we let him and his creative spellings loose on the website for a blog called The Secret Handshake, where he wrote about strip-club DJs and what happens when you call the number on our infamous “back, crack & sac wax” ad. More recently, Wolf—now a full-time staff writer—has interviewed Gov. Gary Herbert about his love of muffins, studied under a claw-machine master, and gotten drunk with the blessing of the Utah Highway Patrol. This state seems to have an unending supply of the random and bizarre, so we’re probably stuck with him for a while. The Secret Handshake was launched with idea of covering the stuff that’s too pointless for print. But some of that pointless stuff is also pretty entertaining, so we decided to print two of his most recent, um, adventures to give readers the opportunity to waste time reading his stuff even when they don’t have the Internet. If you like what you read, visit CityWeekly.net/SecretHandshake for more. —City Weekly editors

If You Pay $150 to Jack Off in a Lab, You’re Gonna Feel Awkward: Adventures in Sperm Testing

Until recently, even the thought of having children has been low on my to-do list (a list that starts with finishing Clone Wars on Netflix and ends with paying off student loans). It seems the majority of my childhood friends either have kids or are on the verge of scheduling their lives around ovulation cycles (disturbing evidence of this is easily observed on my Facebook feed). So, as an unmarried 31-year-old who has no heir, I decided to take the first step in furthering my legacy—I paid $150 to get my sperm analyzed at the University of Utah Andrology Department. First off, it should come as no surprise that Utah is ground zero for babies. There are babies everywhere. As far as I know, you can pick up a free baby inside Temple Square. But what I’m saying is, the Beehive State is consistently ranked highest for birth rates and because of this, there are no shortage of doctors in the Salt Lake City area who specialize in fertility. Now, because my insurance company is run by a posse of assholes who don’t cover tests of this nature, I had to shop around for the best price. I spent fours hours one afternoon calling every fertility clinic in Utah, only to discover that a lot of these places won’t allow you to get a test done if you’re an unmarried guy with no concrete plans for fatherhood—which is entirely unfair. To make matters worse, after saying “semen analysis” into the phone 300 times, you start to wonder if these receptionists assume they’re speaking to some sort of sex-crazed masturbator. The following is an example of a typical phone call: “Yes, hello. I would like to schedule a semen analysis.” “I’m sorry, a what?” “A semen analysis.” “I still can’t hear you. Can you please speak up?” “A SEMEN ANALYSIS!” “OK, great, will your wife be joining you?” “No, I’m not married.”

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20 | APRIL 24, 2014

No, I’m not married.

I want you to analyze my semen.

The following is an example of a typical phone call: “Yes, hello. I would like to schedule a semen analysis.” “I’m sorry, a what?” “A semen analysis.” “I still can’t hear you. Can you please speak up?” “A SEMEN ANALYSIS!” “OK great, will your wife be joining you?” “No, I’m not married.” “Oh ... umm, what’s your doctor’s name?” “This is a self-referral.” “OK, why do you want to get this done, sir?” “Uh, I don’t know... selfdiscovery, a quest for knowledge, sustainability ... I’m sick of masturbating in my house.”

“Oh ... umm, what’s your doctor’s name?” “This is a self-referral.” “OK, why do you want to get this done, sir?” “Uh, I don’t know... self-discovery, a quest for knowledge, sustainability ... I’m sick of masturbating in my house.” Eventually, I settled on the University of Utah Andrology laboratory because the price seemed reasonable, it’s close to my home and they have “aids” for, you know, helping with “the process,” which I’ll explain later. If you’re considering going through with a semen analysis, you should know that you have to remain abstinent for at least three to five days. Naturally, I wanted my sample to be as potent as possible, so I opted for the full five. Five days is an incredibly long time. For anyone who’s ever had their hands cut off or been on a family vacation, you know damn well there are plenty of things that are easier to give up for five days than the five-knuckle shuffle, like Candy Crush or crack. In those five miserable days, I drank 43 beers, got in six Internet arguments, became overly fascinated with how The Simpsons should end, was forced by a friend to eat dinner at Trails Gentlemen’s Club and cried while watching Her. When I finally crawled into the Andrology department, I was a defeated shell of a man. Thankfully, the gentleman at the front desk—we’ll call him “Paul”— was extremely professional. I suppose you’d have to have a polished disposition when close to 70 guys a week see you for the sole purpose of whacking off. He greeted me at the desk with a smile and handed me a form with instructions and rules: deadbolt the door (something every guy should have learned by the age of 13), wash your hands, no lubricants, no condoms—unless you buy a sterile one from the lab—no collecting your specimen via interrupted intercourse, and if you “lose” some of the sample during collection, alert the staff. It was apparent that these rules were designed not only to ensure accurate test results, but also because some terrible things have probably happened in the notso-distant past. I signed my name at the bottom of the form, agreeing to obey the jack-off rules. Paul handed me a tiny plastic jar with a screw-on top and showed me to the collection room. “OK, remember to lock the

door. When you’re done, place the sample on that little shelf and you’re free to go,” he said, pointing to a tiny hatch at the back of the room that probably leads to the lab. I closed the door, locked it and surveyed my scenario. If I had to design a room for doing this sort of thing, it would be grounded in reality and feature an environment that regular guys are familiar with— like a desk chair in a dark room in front of a computer. However, this place was designed with the notion that men regularly crank one out in the main lobby of a Holiday Inn from 1998. The room featured a large, brown leather chair, doctor’s office sink, a huge shitty landscape painting on the wall, a fresh stack of towels on the f loor and, to help with the process, a binder filled with porno mags. If you’re like me, a modern man— aka a man with an Internet connection—you probably haven’t seen a porno mag in at least a decade. This particular lab provided a few copies of Playboy and Penthouse, the stereotypical classics. A friend of mine who had the same test done not long ago in North Carolina told me that his collection room had a TV, burned copies of Bree Olson DVDs and a crappy homemade porno that had probably been accidentally left behind. I suppose that wouldn’t have been much better. While leafing through the February 2014 issue of Playboy with a piece of paper towel over my hand because everything in this room is beyond flagged, I didn’t feel

any sense of arousal ... because, well, I’ve seen some shit, man. And to be completely honest, reading a porno mag made me feel more nostalgic than anything. If you were born anytime before the ’90s, the act of sitting and reading a porno brings you back to a simpler time, a time when young men would scavenge for whatever they could to stare at and defile. Redbook, Good Housekeeping, Boating World; nothing was safe. If you were lucky enough to come across a legit

They say normal people can lift burning cars or punch bears in the face when they’re experiencing high levels of stress. So, like a damn animal, I jacked it to my stupid imagination. If it wasn’t for the five-day drought, I’d probably still be there.

porno, you felt as if you were the first to discover the Dead Sea Scrolls. When I was growing up, the “bad” kids in my neighborhood had an rusty old box in the middle of the woods that contained a jackknife, some lighters, firecrackers and a shit-ton of porn. Forest porn. It was the greatest thing in existence. I put the magazines away and tried to focus on the task at hand. I didn’t want to be in this room any longer than I had to, so I whipped out my phone. No service. It was then that I realized I was a prisoner, locked in a cell with a loaded gun and no way to fire it. Apparently, when activated, the brain has a reserve of untapped power that allows men to accomplish extraordinary feats. They say normal people can lift burning cars or punch bears in the face when

My sperm would be best represented by the Persian hoard—millions of idiot warriors that win only because of sheer numbers. What I’m saying is, my ejaculate would blot out the sun.

We Made a Statue Out Of 100 Pounds Of Doritos, Because Art

The chips sat in our garage for a couple of months while we hatched a plan. This was a big decision. I mean, really, what would you do with 100 pounds of Doritos? Here’s what we came up with in that time:

he asked.

“I don’t know, maybe make a statue of myself made out of Doritos.” He looked at me with a blank stare.

“Ha ha, OK ... man ... cool.” trade the loose cans to some conveniencestore owner for bags of Doritos that also had codes. Eventually, after hours of emptying chips from their bags and entering codes on the Internet, he accumulated a grip of “free” game consoles. My roommate Mike and I met Chuck at his house in Lehi. The chips were in his living room, sorted into four white kitchen trash bags. “So, what are you gonna do with ’em?” he asked. “I don’t know, maybe make a statue of myself made out of Doritos.”

He looked at me with a blank stare. “Ha ha, OK ... man ... cool.” I managed to haggle the price down to $20 because I think he realized no one else in Utah could possibly give a singular turd about slightly-pawedat garbage-bag chips. After helping us cram the goods into our car, Chuck showed us his “Dew Dungeon,” or garage, where he stored his processed (decoded) Mountain Dew. “It’s a lot of work, but it really starts to pay off when you sell your fourth or fifth Xbox on eBay,” he said. As he explained

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APRIL 24, 2014 | 21

• Repackage them into brownpaper bags and sell them to neighborhood kids. • Burn them in a barrel. • See how long I could survive on nothing but Doritos. • Feed them to geese in Liberty Park ... and then study the geese. • Create new and exciting Doritosinspired cuisine and sell the ideas to Taco Bell. • Pack all of them into a giant beanbag and document me sleeping on it every night. • Break them down to powder and attempt to construct one giant chip.

do with ’em?”

History’s greatest achievers have always looked to artists to ensure their image is super badass long after they’re dead. So, like Napoleon, Liberace and King Tut, who live on via golden tombs, chiseled stone and oil paintings, I asked a Utah artist to create a statue in my likeness ... made out of a shit-ton of Doritos. It all started a few months ago, when I came across a mysterious ad offering a hundred pounds of Chile Limon Dinamitas Doritos for $100 on Craigslist. Though the price seemed a little steep, I couldn’t help but wonder what my life would be if I owned a mountain of Doritos. After weighing the pros and cons for about five seconds, I decided to pull the trigger and contact this veiled Internet snack dealer. Because I’m not 100 percent sure his racket was legal, we’ll just call this guy “Chuck.” He owned this kingly amount of chips because he’d figured out a way to flimflam an online promotion for free Xbox Ones. Essentially, he would purchase pallets of Mountain Dew from local wholesalers, remove the promotional codes and

“So, what are you gonna

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they’re experiencing high levels of stress. So, like a damn animal, I jacked it to my stupid imagination. If it wasn’t for the five-day drought, I’d probably still be there. After I turned in my sample, I headed back to the main lobby to speak with Paul. “So, uh, who’s in charge of the magazine selection around here?” I asked. Paul laughed with a smug look on his face, “Yeah, we try to keep them pretty up to date.” I leaned over the counter to let him know this was no laughing matter, “What I mean is,” I whispered, “they’re pretty weak.” Surprisingly, Paul responded with complete empathy. “Yeah, I know what you mean, man.” I waited a full 10 days for my test results to arrive, and when they did, I frantically ripped open the envelope. For the most part, my sperm analysis was fantastic; my ejaculate volume was an insane 5.2 (normal being 1.5), sperm motility was a kickass 72 percent (normal being a 32 percent) and I couldn’t be mad about a total sperm count of 1,092.0 million (normal being 39). Overall, everything about the test was great, except for my 3 percent sperm morphology (head/tail shapes) rating. According to an article by the Mayo Clinic, a 4 percent rating is considered normal. So, what does a 3 percent sperm morphology rating mean exactly? Well, it means I have tons of effective, but slightly deformed half-wit sperm cells. For example, if my sperm was in the Battle of Thermopylae, as depicted in the film 300, they wouldn’t be a small band of highly skilled warriors, like the Spartans. No, my sperm would be best represented by the Persian hoard— millions of idiot warriors that win only because of sheer numbers. What I’m saying is, my ejaculate would blot out the sun. One of the factors that leads to deformed idiot sperm with multiple tails and fists is excessive alcohol consumption. This seemed about right, considering I drank myself into an oblivion during my five-day masturbation hiatus, but there’s no need to be worried. It is said that sperm morphology can be fixed by making a few simple lifestyle adjustments, like cutting back on booze, taking multivitamins and not resting your laptop on your genitals. If you’re on the fence about getting a semen analysis, you really should do it. Every man should know what he’s made of and what’s happening below the belt. And, best of all, if you’re a single guy in search of an heir, you can use your semen analysis as your Tinder profile pic.

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You should know that no one had ever before created a full-size Dorito man, so every aspect of this project was touch and go.

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the ins & outs of his chip & soda racket, a silver suburban pulled up and backed into the driveway. The doors opened and a tall woman with massive fake boobs and platinum blond hair stepped out, along with a short, middle-age dude in an Affliction shirt so intricate it resembled a coat of armor blessed by Renaissance monks. “This has to be his chip connect,” I said to Mike. The power couple walked around to the back of their whip and popped the tailgate, exposing a dozen or so large cardboard boxes. “Who likes Dinamitas, huh?!” said the little chip boss. The two men maneuvered their goods between the suburban and the garage while Mike and I stood in the driveway listening to the blonde talk about how she pays her kids in Monster Energy drinks to sit in a room all day and enter her codes online. After a half-hour of hearing how “easy” it is to scam Xboxes, we decided to head back to SLC with a trunkload of gross, almost-inedible Doritos. The chips sat in our garage for a couple of months while we hatched a plan. This was a big decision. I mean, really, what

would you do with 100 pounds of Doritos? Here’s what we came up with in that time: n Repackage them into brown-paper bags and sell them to neighborhood kids. n Burn them in a barrel. n See how long I can survive on nothing but Doritos. n Feed them to geese in Liberty Park ... and then study the geese. n Create new and exciting Doritosinspired cuisine and sell the ideas to Taco Bell. n Pack all of them into a giant beanbag and document me sleeping on it every night. n Break them down to powder and attempt to construct one giant chip. Though some of these ideas were solid gold, we decided to stick with our original scheme. We were going to make a grotesque “David”-like statue of myself ... you know, to symbolize consumerism or child obesity or whatever. We hit up our friend and local artist Meredith Thomas—who currently specializes in zombie Barbies and sculptures made with dead animals—to see if she could help us out. Since this particular project was the perfect level of WTF, she was immediately onboard. You should know that no one had ever before created a full-size Dorito man, so every aspect of this project was touch and go. As it turned out, creating a full-body cast of my skinny-fat body was too much of a pain in the ass, so Thomas found an extremely feminine headless mannequin and filled it with a 10-1 plaster-to-Dorito blend. It had a nice, chunky, barf-like consistency. To make the head somewhat like my own, Thomas wrapped my dome in clear packaging tape, à la Darkman, and used that for a cast. The tape-mask sort of resembled a face ... not my face, but a face nonetheless. Well, after 20-plus hours of mashing chips and mixing plaster, Thomas finished the Dorito de Milo, and it was perfect. Besides the fact that it has a woman’s body, a flattop and looks like a chip version of Grace Jones in A View To A Kill, it still sort of looks like me. Well, it definitely has my hips, jowls and posture. If you want to see this work of art in person, it’ll be in the foyer of the City Weekly off ices (248 S. Main) for the next couple of weeks—or until a co-worker destroys it out of disgust. CW

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24 | APRIL 24, 2014

ESSENTIALS

the

THURSDAY 4.24

Deborah Hake Brinkerhoff What drives Deborah Hake Brinkerhoff’s artistic composition is pure impulse. An artist who’s lively and vibrant, she never simply paints an empty attack on canvas. Brinkerhoff first decides general choices of subject, abstraction, figuration, etc. Beyond this, impulse is what builds her compositions and what places her among the most popular painters at Phillips Gallery, where her work is currently on exhibit. What many find so appealing and stimulating about Brinkerhoff’s art is her honesty of approach. Analytical formulas can be at times a tedious interruption of the flow of substance from painter to canvas to viewer. In Brinkerhoff’s case, this relationship is accomplished with liberty and ease. She paints from sensible impulses deep within herself, and cannot possibly describe what she does so instinctively. Painting, for her, is simply an outlet for intensity, so her life can be lived peacefully. It’s true that Brinkerhoff’s large compositions are far from conventional, but it’s a wonderful aspect of her works that people of all milieus of life appreciate. The charmingly titled “Coco and Fuzzy” (pictured) is but one of Brinkerhoff’s canvases that is a simple portrait of a man and a woman. To those who do not know Brinkerhoff’s art, there is nothing simple about it, but for the many who respond to her refreshing artistic impulse, this is just one among her magical many that have arrived with perfect fluency from her heart and her hand. (Ehren Clark) Deborah Hake Brinkerhoff @ Phillips Gallery, 444 E. 200 South, 801-364-8284, through May 9, free. Phillips-Gallery.com

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FRIDAY 4.25

Plastic seems to have a life of its own. It’s ubiquitous, part of almost everything we use in the course of a day, and has replaced many natural substances in consumer goods. Yet, for all its familiarity, there is a strange alien nature about it, perhaps because of its permanence. The fact that it doesn’t degrade in landfills makes us feel like it’s mocking that which is subject to forces of nature, death and decay. Yet it still fascinates us, and this duality is the subject of Plastique: The Wonderful, Horrible Nature of Plastic, presented at Urban Arts Gallery by local nonprofit arts organization Brolly Arts. The exhibit makes use of the efforts of artists, community members and community organizations, and installation art will be constructed during outreach projects in addition to individual efforts. Artists include Brolly Arts’ director, Amy MacDonald; nonprofit youth arts group Bad Dog Arts’ directors, Victoria Lyons and Michael Moonbird, and some of their students; poet Joel Long; photographer Cat Palmer; and painters Margaret Willis and Renee Keith—more than two dozen participants in all. Plastic isn’t just a substance; it’s also become a metaphor for many different facets of contemporary life: convenience, flexibility, disposability and also the superficial. Plastique aims to not only create a dialogue, but also increase awareness of the impact of plastic on our lives, and create a project that will be replicated, like plastic itself. (Brian Staker) Plastique: The Wonderful, Horrible Nature of Plastic @ Urban Arts Gallery, 137 S. Rio Grande St., 801-651-3937, through May 3, free. UtahArts.org

Like many kids raised in Mormon families, comedian and Utah native Bengt Washburn eventually went out into the world and experienced the culture of different countries. But for that demographic, going on a mission (Washburn spent his in Tacoma, Wash.) is far more common than getting married to a woman in the Air Force and winding up based in Germany—where, as Washburn describes it, “I didn’t learn German, but my English-with-aGerman-accent is impeccable.” Over the course of a nearly 20-year comedy career—including winning the prestigious San Francisco International Comedy Competition in 2001—Washburn has had plenty of fun at the expense of his Mormon heritage. He describes the rules for being a good Mormon as including “no drinking, no smoking, no premarital sex and, of course, the most logical one, no coffee. Because think about it: No drinking, no smoking, no sex … why stay awake? Why even bother getting out of bed, really?” And more generally: “One person doing something crazy, that’s a nut. A bunch of people doing something crazy, that’s a religion.” Those who saw Washburn during his hilarious headline sets during the 2013 Utah Arts Festival will know that his off-kilter sensibility is wonderfully self-deprecating, often focusing on his own relationships and his failure as an ideal physical specimen. And if you can’t get enough of him from this week’s performance, you can take home his new CD Bengt Over Europe. (Scott Renshaw) Bengt Washburn @ Wiseguys West Valley, 2194 W. 3500 South, 801-463-2909, April 25 & 26, 7:30 & 9:30 p.m., $12. WiseguysComedy.com

Plastique: The Wonderful, Horrible Nature of Plastic

Bengt Washburn

SATURDAY 4.26

Miller Motorsports Park Season Opener & Car Show Think of just about any type of vehicle with a motor you can imagine, and they’ll be racing it at Miller Motorsports Park in Tooele on Saturday. Whether it’s on the 2.2-mile West Course, the 2.18-mile East Course, the 1.1-mile infield motocross course, the off-road short course or the Miller Kart Track, some sort of car, motorcylce, off-road vehicle or kart will be circling at high speeds. And if you’d rather see cars close up, Utah Car Czar will be hosting a car show on the premises. Best of all, the whole thing is free. For most events involving motor sports, you’re used to TV and radio ads where that gravelly voiced announcer yells, “Kids seats, just five buuuuucks!” In this case, he’ll be bellowing, “Everybody gets in freeeeeeeee!” And there’s not just free admission, but also free hot dogs and drinks and free zip line rides, to boot. The event kicks off the 2014 season for MMS, which will feature many different types of racing throughout the summer and fall. June brings off-road truck racing with the Lucas Oil Off-Road Racing Series. Motorcycle riders show up in July to race on the Miller track for Bike Fest 2014. August will feature the best motocross riders in the world competing in the dirt. September brings the Utah Grand Prix, a weekend that combines NASCAR K&N Pro Series West, a training ground for the NASCAR Spring Cup, as well as Aston Martins, Porches and Corvettes taking laps as part of the Pirelli World Challenge. (Geoff Griffin) Season Opener & Car Show @ Miller Motorsports Park, 2901 Sheep Lane, Tooele, 435-277-8000, 8 a.m.-5 p.m., free. MillerMotorsportsPark.com

A&E

DANCE

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Accelerate closes Ririe-Woodbury’s 50th season by exploring dance’s future.

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Accelerate

“You and the Space Between” is one of three pieces in Ririe-Woodbury’s Accelerate.

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Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South 801-355-2787 April 24-26, 7:30 p.m. $35 RirieWoodbury.com

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Ririe-Woodbury Dance Company: Accelerate

American Captain: The First to Avenge

his work in Accelerate is Ririe-Woodbury alumnus Miguel Azcue. Born in Cuba and currently serving as artistic co-director for the Swedish dance company Memory Wax, Azcue’s varied experience gives his work an international style. Through added realtime video projection, “You and the Space Between” makes uses of technology in a way that is at once simple and clever, shifting the audience’s perspective in real time to play with gravity and space. Finally, Charon gets a chance to showcase his work with “Construct”, created in collaboration with composer and musician Michael Wall. Manipulating the time and scale of live video capture, “Construct” plays with the idea of image—what is real and what is virtual, and how important the difference is. Dance, on a certain level, has always been about watching beautiful performers at the peak of their physicality, pushing the limits of the human body. Still today, dance remains primarily an experience of the human body and of movement. Technology will never replace that. But, according to Charon, as Ririe-Woodbury moves towards the future, they expect to continue incorporating technology into their work as just another tool in the artist’s toolbox, expanding the vocabulary of contemporary dance. CW

Rose Wagner April 24-26

one of three original works that will premiere at Accelerate. “Technology gives us access to 360 degrees of a body rather than just what we can see from our place in the audience. In this space, dance becomes a very different art form.” Bromberg, a lifelong dancer who performed with RW in the 1970s, first played with the interconnection between dance and technology in the 1980s, when a PBS station in the Bay Area commissioned her to create a dance for television. After choreographing and filming, Bromberg sat in on the editing process and realized the possibilities of what could be done with dance onscreen. “I saw for the first time how film can focus the eye on a single expression or movement of the hand,” Bromberg says. “It can deconstruct time and space. It can create a context where even gravity doesn’t have that same pull.” These days, modern choreographers play with all sorts of media and technology, from infrared sensors that trigger sounds to live-feed interactive videos. The video component of “States Rendered Choreography” formed slowly over the course of months through a tight collaborative process between Varone, who choreographed the movement, and Bromberg, who developed the media component. With Varone working in New York, setting the work to the dancers in his own company, and Bromberg working in Salt Lake City, the process has been long and complicated. “It’s been a real dialogue,” says Bromberg, who took jumping-off points for her mixed-media creation from clips of music and dance sent by Varone as the piece developed in his studio. “I reacted to Doug’s prompts, and together we cultivated and articulated the pieces that stuck.” Another guest choreographer debuting

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hen Joan Woodbury and Shirley Ririe, two dance professors at the University of Utah, started the professional modern dance company RirieWoodbury in Salt Lake in 1964, they were taking a chance that people in Utah would watch and support contemporary modern dance in an age when the art form—led by choreographers like Trisha Brown and Alwin Nikolais—was pushing the boundaries of movement expression and challenging audiences to find their own meaning in sometimes very abstract performances. Though Woodbury and Ririe took their dancers into this contemporary realm, they also retained in their work a sense of joy, wonder and humor. In pieces like Affectionate Infirmities, choreographed in 1971, with dancers leaping, wiggling and spinning about on crutches, playfulness remained an engaging and central component of the company’s repertoire. Perhaps that entertaining sense of play is why, 50 years later, the Ririe-Woodbury Dance Company is still going strong. In celebration of RWDC’s important half-century anniversary, a milestone that few dance companies ever get to celebrate, Ririe-Woodbury took a chance on looking back at its roots, restaging works like Affectionate Infirmities and inviting back alumni dancers, both as performers and as guest choreographers. And as a complement to this retrospective look, the company’s final performance this anniversary season, Accelerate, will take an equally important look forward to the future path for the company and of modern dance. Originally, says Ririe-Woodbury’s artistic director, Daniel Charon, the integration of technology into all three of the works in Accelerate came as a complete coincidence. But, as Charon points out, it couldn’t have been more appropriate. “At a time when technology is becoming increasingly integrated into people’s everyday lives, Accelerate allows technology to take on a very metaphorical aspect,” he says. “As our company moves into the future, it is reflecting the changes in society.” “Technology has really changed and expanded what can be done with dance,” says Ellen Bromberg, a professor of dance at the University of Utah and a RirieWoodbury alumna who—together with RWDC alumnus Doug Varone—is co-creating “States Rendered Choreography,”

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26 | APRIL 24, 2014

GET OUT seCrets Tour Guide

Cityweekly.net/Confess

Bike touring doesn’t have to be intimidating.

A&E joergen trepp

i slept with my best friend’s husband

Confess your

By Carly Fetzer comments@cityweekly.net

ome of us look out our car windows at cyclists on touring bikes and think, “Man, that’s impressive, but I couldn’t do that.” If that’s the case, it’s time to grease the brain gears and go on an overnight bike tour. Joergen Trepp, a well-versed bicycle tourist and director of operations at the Salt Lake City Bicycle Collective touts the life-changing nature of bike touring. “It only takes one bike tour for people to be hooked—or hate it,” he says. “But, oh man, that first bike tour is the coolest thing ever.” The most important thing is the bike. “The fit on touring bikes is super important,” says Trepp, who rides a Univega Viva Touring bike. “You do want your bike to be a little bit larger so you can be upright.” Since you’ll be riding for several hours, length is important for comfort and correct leg extension. The good news is that many bikes can serve as touring bikes. However, there are preferable features. Bikes with mounting holes—or braze-ons—on the seat-stays and frontfork make attaching front racks and rear racks easy. Having more gears makes going up hills less of a struggle. Bikes with one or more waterbottle cage make quick hydration simple, although you can keep water in your panniers. Steel bikes are sturdy and easier to repair. If you’re going on an overnight tour, you can most likely call someone to pick you up if something goes awry. However, being prepared with basic bicycle maintenance can prolong your trip and boost your confidence. “On a short tour, likely the only thing that’s gonna happen is … a flat tire,” Trepp says. And, he says, anyone who wants to learn how to fix a flat can go to the Bicycle Collective at any time. He suggests calling ahead (801-328-2453) to volunteer. No bike tourist should leave without a few essential tools and accessories that can be found at a local bike shop: a hand pump, tire levers, 5mm Allen wrench, a multi-tool (not essential, but handy), patch kit, lube and an extra inner tube. A mirror for checking traffic behind you can add to your security. Don’t forget regular essentials like bike lights and a U-lock. It’s also a good idea to bring along a water purifier for streams or campgrounds without potable water. Get your bike tuned up before you head out, and make sure it’s equipped with good tires and fenders to keep water from

f lying in your face. “Without fenders, it’s pretty terrifying—I mean, it’s pretty gross,” Trepp says. Touring tires with rain veining, he adds, “provide just a little bit of grip.” For stowing your stuff, you can get away with two rear panniers and a handlebar bag for easy access to your wallet, camera, etc. As Utah tends to be on the dry side, you can find cheap canvas panniers for sturdiness, and should waterproof your inside gear with plastic bags. If you have more money to dispense, Axiom makes reliable water-resistant saddle packs. Speaking of a saddle, it’s important to choose a seat that’s comfortable. Although expensive, Brooks leather saddles are “definitely worth saving up for,” Trepp says, as leather conforms to your rear end, allowing “your seat bones to move ever so slightly.” Avoid highly cushioned seats, which, over time, condense and don’t allow your seat bones to move. After you’ve packed in your sleeping bag, comfortable clothes (they don’t have to be Lycra), tent, food, water and tools, it’s time to choose where to go. The magazine Cycling Utah (CyclingUtah.com) has a useful article titled “Overnight Bike Tours from Salt Lake City,” by Lou Melini. For more detailed packing lists, maps and general tips, visit online sites for cyclists like AdventureCycling.org, WarmShowers.org and CrazyGuyOnABike.com. Now get out and get pedaling. CW

moreESSENTIALS

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FRIDAY 4.25

Utah Repertory Theater & Around the Globe Theatre: Grace The New York Times’ review of a 2012 production of Craig Wright’s Grace—which starred Paul Rudd and Michael Shannon—described the play as “not a whodunit but a why-dunit.” That’s because the play opens without any mystery as to the ultimate fate of four characters: They’re all lying on the ground dead when it opens, and it’s only through a rewinding of the action that we learn how they ended up there. The events focus on an evangelical Christian named Steve, relocated with his wife to Florida as he attempts to launch a chain of Gospel-themed hotels. Among the people he encounters are a NASA scientist and a German immigrant, both of whom have seen enough tragedy that they find it hard to give themselves over to Steve’s fervent belief. But as the doubters begin to shift in their sense of God’s presence, so too does Steve. (Scott Renshaw) Utah Repertory Theater & Around the Globe Theatre: Grace @ The Sugar Space Studio for the Arts, 616 Wilmington Ave., April 25-May 10, Fridays & Saturdays 7:30 p.m.; 2 p.m. matinees May 3 & 10; May 4, 6 p.m., $12-$15 in advance, $14-$17 at the door. UtahRep.org

FRIDAY 4.25

Utah Symphony: Tchaikovsky’s Suite No. 3

| cityweekly.net |

There are two ways to view the upcoming Utah Symphony program: 1. It’s about Jesus; 2. It’s about Russia. On the side of the carpenter from Nazareth, you’ve got the fact that two of the three pieces on the program—Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov’s Easter Overture and Olivier Messiaen’s L’ascension—are

about Him, and after all, it is the Easter season. However, Russia can claim that two of the three pieces are by Russian composers—Rimsky-Korsakov and Tchaikovsky—and the guest conductor is Russian Andrey Boreyko. Insert your own Vladimir Putin and Jesus joke here. The headline piece is Suite No. 3 by Tchaikovsky, a composer who tried to combine traditional Russian music with the sounds of the Western European classical tradition. The result

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APRIL 24, 2014 | 27

| cityweekly.net |

| CITY WEEKLY |

28 | APRIL 24, 2014

moreESSENTIALS

Complete listings online @ cityweekly.net

Thursday 4.24

The Museum of Nobody The genesis of The Museum of Nobody was the idea that museums typically define creativity narrowly by how they measure it and who has access to it. The anonymous people behind this pop-up museum, referred to as the Bureau of Nobody, feel strongly that this attitude is far too exclusive and blindly leaves all sorts of incredible work out in the dark. So, for two nights only, The Museum of Nobody will showcase all sorts of heretofore unseen—and in many ways unappreciated—art, with the guiding manifesto that The Museum of Nobody is a “free, public exhibition and performance event that challenges prevailing ideas about worthiness and creativity that dominate art galleries, politics, businesses … the museum features creative work by local school janitors, homemade-kitchen-darkroom photographers, data-visualization computer scientists, grandmother-taught and grandmotherapproved sewers, world-renowned painters and more, all side-by-side and anonymous; presented (per our artists’ request) without recognition, without profit, and without heuristic.” Basically, the idea that good art is just that, and it should be able to speak for itself. (Jacob Stringer) The Museum of Nobody @ SLC Photo Collective, 561 W. 200 South, April 24-25, 6 p.m. with live performances at 9 p.m., free. MuseumOfNobody.com left many Russians at the time feeling like their favorite indie band had sold out to make a techno album, but history has vindicated him. Mother Russia or the Son of God. Attend the show and decide who you think should get top billing. (Geoff Griffin) Utah Symphony: Tchaikovsky’s Suite No. 3 @ Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple, 801-355-2787, April 25-26, 8 p.m., $18-$69. ArtTix.org

Friday 4.25

Dutch Days at the Tulip Festival The word nederland literally translates as “low land” and is applicable to the tulip-loving Netherlands because more than 20 percent of the country is below sea level, with a mere 50 percent existing less than 1 meter above sea level. Talk about an entire people threatened by climate change. But the enterprising Dutch have always dealt with such hazards with deft aplomb. See their intricate networks of dikes, innovative floating houses and those iconic windmills as proof. These, among other reasons (like wooden shoes and those killer floppy headdresses) are fine reasons to celebrate all things Dutch. As part of the annual Tulip Festival each spring (featuring mroe than 250,000 flowers consisting of 100 varieties spread out over 55 acres), Thanksgiving Point likes to set a weekend aside to highlight the cultural ways of the Netherlands—like riveting games of sjoelen (Dutch shuffleboard), tasty treats such as stroop-

wafel and traditional polka music. Just remember that if you come in costume or wearing the color orange—like all good Dutch everywhere—there’s a discount on the entrance fee. (Jacob Stringer) Dutch Days at the Tulip Festival @ Thanksgiving Point, 3003 North Thanksgiving Way, Lehi, 801-768-2300, April 25-26, 8 a.m.-8 p.m., $12-$15. ThanksgivingPoint.org

FRIDAY 4.25

We Remember, We Celebrate, We Believe: A Photo History of Latinos in Utah Some art exhibits are years in the making; this one took nearly two decades. Armando Solórzano—associate professor of ethnic studies as well as family & consumer studies at the

University of Utah—has devoted almost 20 years to assembling We Remember, We Celebrate, We Believe: A Photo History of Latinos in Utah, a photographic documentation of the importance of Latinos in our community. The exhibit has been displayed in different locations since 2002, and in 2004, was given the Governor’s Award in the Humanities. This is the last currently scheduled time that We Remember will be displayed. And on Tuesday, May 6, Mestizo Gallery will host a Meet the Artists reception from 6 to 8 p.m. in collaboration with nonprofit group Artes de México en Utah. (Brian Staker) We Remember, We Celebrate, We Believe: A Photo History of Latinos in Utah @ Mestizo Gallery, 631 W. North Temple, Suite 700, 801-824-9122, through May 10, free. MestizoArts.org

| cityweekly.net |

| CITY WEEKLY |

APRIL 24, 2014 | 29

DINE

SPORTS BARS

Get in the Game Best Sandwiches - City Weekly

Huddling at a squad of SLC’s best sports bars. By Ted Scheffler comments@cityweekly.net @critic1

W Snail Award (Matt Caputo) - Slow Food Utah

Most Hardcore Locavore - Local First Utah

Caputo’s Downtown 314 West 300 South 801.531.8669 Caputo’s On 15th 1516 South 1500 East 801.486.6615

ith spring in the air and baseball back in swing, I find myself veering toward sports bars a little more than usual. The crack of a bat and the snap of opening a cold bottle of brew are two of my favorite sounds. I used to think that sport-themed bars and restaurants were a fairly new invention, coming along in maybe the past couple of decades. Back in the day, almost any bar was a sports bar; many had a TV in the corner where patrons watched their favorite teams and events. It turns out, however, that Boston’s famous McGreevy’s—thought to be America’s first sports bar—has been around for 120 years! Opened in 1894 by “Nuf Ced” McGreevy, it was originally called the 3rd Base Saloon. So, apparently, the American sports bar isn’t as new a phenomenon as I’d thought. Salt Lake City isn’t as sports-crazed as some places I’ve lived, where publicly rootroot-rooting for your favorite team can be a risky proposition. That was especially true for me, a Red Sox fan, living in New York City. Here, things are a bit mellower. Jazz and Real Salt Lake fans tend to be more forgiving of the opposition than, for instance, Yankee and Phillies fans are. But regardless of your sporting allegiances, here’s a squad of great places to take in a game, match, tournament, race or other sporting competition. One of my favorite spots to watch sports is ’Bout Time Pub & Grub (multiple locations, BoutTimePub.com), particularly the Gateway mall location, where servers like Jamie go out of their way to make you feel at home. Created by Joe and Paula Fraser, the first ’Bout Time in West Jordan has spawned locations from St. George to Ogden. I suspect the popularity is due in part to the grub. The food at ’Bout Time is superior to most bar food, ranging from the traditional burgers, wings, pizzas and such to not-so-traditional Irish nachos: deep-fried potato slices topped with ranch dressing, cheese, bacon, sour cream and parsley. I also really like the Monterey chicken: three boneless breasts with mesquite seasoning, grilled and topped with provolone, ham and fresh slices of avocado. And hey, it may be a sports bar, but you can get a drinkable bottle of wine here, too. If you suffer from ADD, I’d recommend staying away from The Huddle Sports Bar & Grill (2400 E. Fort Union Blvd., 801-438-8300, TheHuddleSportsBar.com).

JOHN TAYLOR

| cityweekly.net |

| CITY WEEKLY |

30 | APRIL 24, 2014

Caputo’s 2013 Awards

With 24 big HDTVs and two ginorSliding into home: Legend’s Sports Pub’s mini mous 8-foot projection TVs, there burgers, beer and ice cream sundae are top-notch. are distractions aplenty, and the senses are bombarded with sports of every stripe. The daily specials at Topless in Key West or, my favorite drink of The Huddle are popular, especially the $3 decadence, the Scooby Snack: Coconut Jack barbecue burgers on weekends. There’s a Rum, Melon Liqueur, pineapple juice, sweet big selection of full-strength bottled beers & sour mix, plus cream. that make good sipping with menu items like After a Scooby Snack, you might not the housemade chile verde, the sensational have room for food. But if you do, I suggest steak sandwich, Asian pot stickers, fabulous starting with a quartet of beef, pork or fish tacos and much more, including breakchicken sliders or maybe Legends’ famous fast on Sundays during football season. poutine—a City Weekly Best of Utah awardI remember reviewing the first winner. I also find it hard to pass up the Iggy’s Sports Grill (multiple locations, comforting open-face turkey sandwich, IggysSportsGrill.com) many years ago and served on white bread with turkey gravy thinking, “This is a concept that will be and a choice of spuds. For dessert, you very popular.” I was correct, as it turns could simply indulge in another Scooby out; there are now nine locations in Utah. Snack, or perhaps enjoy a classic banana What makes Iggy’s so appealing? Well, it’s split or ice cream sundae. a friendly, comfy place to watch sports, The original Lumpy’s (now in three for starters. Settle in with a 25-ounce beer locations, LumpysBar.com) qualifies as and dig into Iggy apps like bacon-wrapped one of Salt Lake City’s first sport-friendchicken wings or a bottomless bowl of ly bars—in fact, one of SLC’s friendliest chips & salsa. For entrees, you can’t beat the bars, period. Patrons are never far from Yankee pot roast (not named for the New a TV—there are even monitors in some of York Yankees, I’d point out), country-fried the booths—and rib-sticking fare like the steak or baby back ribs. The brick-oven jambalaya, Cajun-seasoned rib-eye steak, pizzas are good, too, especially the deepchicken potpie and classic fish & chips dish Chicago pie. And, while it wouldn’t fly makes Lumpy’s a terrific spot to enjoy the in many sports bars, you won’t be ejected if big game. you decide to order a piña colada to accomOther faves for sports aficionados pany your coconut shrimp. include Dick N’ Dixies (479 E. 300 South, If there’s a friendlier sports-bar staff 801-521-3556), especially for soccer nuts— in Utah than at Legends Sports Pub (677 some of the Real Salt Lake team and coachS. 200 West, 801-355-3598, WhyLegends. es even hang out there—The Point After com), I haven’t found it. And the daily $5 in Murray (5445 S. 900 East, 801-266-9552, specials—which include choices like burriPointAfterSLC.com) and The Puck (3396 S. tos, pizza, tacos, sandwiches and such, and Decker Lake Drive, 801-975-7825, ThePuck. both soup and salad—are damned hard to org), adjacent to the Maverik Center in beat. On Fridays, I like to drop $5 for a West Valley City. cheese pizza, salad and clam chowder— Now, where do you like to hang for great what a bargain. And, who could resist games, grub and grog? CW libations like the Fighting Irish Car Bomb,

Food You Will

LOVE

FOOD MATTERS by TED SCHEFFLER @critic1

Sonora Scholarships

italianvillageslc.com A

UtA h

O r i g i n A l

S i n ce

1 9 6 8

5370 S. 900 e. MURRay, UT 8 0 1 . 2 6 6 . 4 1 8 2 / H O U R S : M O n-t h U 11 a - 11 p F r i- S At 11 a -1 2 a / S U n 3 p - 1 0p

BASIL SUSHI BAR & ASIAN CUISINE

all new location

MORE THAN JUST SUSHI... THE MOST EXCITING DISHES FROM ACROSS EXOTIC ASIA ninth & ninth & 254 south main

2014

The new 9th West Farmers Market (1000 S. 900 West, 9thWestFarmersMarket.org), formerly called the People’s Market, is now taking vendor and entertainer applications, as well as looking for volunteers to help out at the market. The 9th West Farmers Market features fresh, local produce, handmade crafts and live performances by local musicians. Special market events include Book Day, when attendees can swap books, and Pet Day, promoting local animal rescue organizations. Opening day is May 11.

New Habit

2007 2008

Food Matters 411: teds@xmission.com

APRIL 24, 2014 | 31

2005

voted best coffee house

| CITY WEEKLY |

Quote of the week: Tomatoes and oregano make it Italian; wine and tarragon make it French. Sour cream makes it Russian; lemon and cinnamon make it Greek. Soy sauce makes it Chinese; garlic makes it good. —Alice May Brock (Alice’s Restaurant)

A new Habit Burger, the fourth Utah location, is opening May 1 at 11380 S. State in Sandy. Habit Burger always hosts pre-opening charity events, open to the public, wherein a portion of the day’s proceeds are donated to local charities. On Tuesday, April 29, proceeds from the new Sandy Habit Burger will benefit Alta High School and Juan Diego Catholic High School. On April 30, the pre-opening charity event will benefit the Utah 1033 Foundation. Habit Burger features fresh, quality food—especially delicious are the charburgers, starting at just $2.95. Learn more at HabitBurger.com

open 7 days a week dIne-In Take oUT & deLIVeR 2335 E. MURRAY HOLLADAY RD, HOLLADAY 801.278.8682 | RICeUTaH.CoM

Vendors & Volunteers

| cityweekly.net |

50su%shiorfollfs

In a time marred by so much hostility toward immigrants—especially those coming from south of the border—it’s heartwarming that Ogden’s Sonora Grill (2310 Kiesel Ave., 801-393-1999, TheSonoraGrill.com) is stepping up to embrace them. On April 10, during the restaurant’s Dining for Dollars event, 100 percent of all sales and contributions— not just proceeds—from customers dining at Sonora Grill went into the Sonora Grill Scholarship program. The program was created to help first-generation immigrant students attend college and “achieve their educational goals,” according to Sonora Grill owner Steve Ballard. The restaurant raised more than $22,000 for the scholarship program, an amount that will be matched by an anonymous donor.

SECOND HELP NG Truck Stop By Jeffrey David comments@cityweekly.net

32 | APRIL 24, 2014

| CITY WEEKLY |

| cityweekly.net |

310 Bugatti Drive, SLC | (801)467-2890 | delmarallago.com

t’s a terrible feeling when hunger pains are calling and the food truck you desire is not within a reasonable distance. But, thankfully, there are some places where you know you can find certain trucks on a regular basis: The Chow Truck can often be found at 9th & 9th in the afternoons and evenings; Better Burger has a presence at Red Moose Coffee on 1700 S. 900 East on evenings during the warmer months; and Grav y Train Poutinerie catches the office lunch crowd a couple of times per week at 120 S. Main.

derek carlisle

“ The BesT resTauranT you’ve never Been To. ” -Ted Scheffler, ciTy weekly

But the best time and place to catch the food trucks is Thursday—every Thursday—at Gallivan Plaza from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. You can pick and choose from a bevy of trucks, all within a few feet of one another—no spending money on gas to get an appetizer at one truck, a main course at another and finally dessert at a different truck. OK, maybe that is just me, but you get my drift. Current participants include Wilma’s Gourmet Food, Submarino’s, Grub Truck, A Guy & His Wife Grilled Cheese, Gravy Train Poutinerie, Chow Truck and Off the Grid SLC. An updated roster for each week can be found at Facebook.com/ FoodTruckThursdays. If Thursdays aren’t your bag, a couple of proprietors have been working on an unofficial Liberty Park food truck pavilion. Randy and Tony from Submarino’s and Prescott from Grav y Train are gathering a couple of times a week at a former gas station lot kittycorner from the northwest section of Liberty Park. The schedule isn’t concrete yet, but it’s a chance to enjoy the park, have some great food and encourage more trucks to join in. CW

German Delicatessen & Restaurant Catering Available

food truck thursday

Gallivan Center Plaza 239 S. Main Facebook.com/FoodTruckThursdays

Open Mon-Wed: 9am-6pm Thu-Sat: 9am-9pm 20 W. 200 S. • (801) 355-3891

BEER, WINE & SPIRITS

Weiner World Beer Bar has plenty of brains, brews and brats to go around. By Ted Scheffler comments@cityweekly.net @critic1

his partners’ idea to sell sausages, which makes up the bulk of Beer Bar grub. It’s a smart concept. After all, who doesn’t love a brat and a brew? And now, you don’t have to wait around for Oktoberfest to indulge. On any given day, Beer Bar offers some dozen different sausages to select from, all made by Salt Lake City’s most bodacious butcher: Frody Volgger of Caputo’s Market. Options range from elk bratwurst, kielbasa, Louisiana-style hot sausage and spicy Italian sausage to a vegetarian wiener, Sicilian turkey sausage, buffalo, lamb and chicken sausages. It’s a weenie lover’s dream.

Beer Bar

It works like this: Step up to the counter, select a sausage (which comes on an Eva’s Bakery roll), pick from toppings like sauerkraut, peppers, caramelized onions and chimichurri, then order optional sides like killer Belgian-style frites, salads or strudel for dessert. Also in line with Belgium, Beer Bar offers a panorama of dipping sauces like sambal aioli, curry ketchup, tzatziki and, of course, Utah fry sauce. The ginormous beer selection should keep most folks happy. However, if you’re not into hops and barley, rest assured that Beer Bar also serves excellent wines like Pratsch Gruner Veltliner, Louis Jadot Chardonnay, A to Z Pinot Gris Acrobat Pinot Noir and more, along with aperitifs and digestifs. Hey, Ty, any chance I could just live here? CW

BEST GYRO FOR OVER Order on our website & Facebook

2014 greeksouvlaki.com

2148 S. 900 E. estepizzaco.com • 801.485.3699

AIRPORT

Delta Terminal 2

DOWNTOWN SLC 404 E 300 S 801-322-2062

MURRAY

5692 S 900 E 801-266-3336

SO. JORDAN

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1067 W. So. Jordan VALLEY COMING SOON! Pkwy 2192 W 3500 S 801-849-0653 801-973-GYRO{4976}

APRIL 24, 2014 | 33

In S

s hou r a ug

| CITY WEEKLY |

Download our free iPhone app

15 YEARS

2100 S. 880 E. SugarhouSEbbq.com

VOTED

| cityweekly.net |

hen I heard that Forage co-founder and up-and-coming celebrity chef Viet Pham was consulting with beloved Modern Family dad Ty Burrell and his Bar-X partners to create a new watering hole, my initial reaction was “Uh-oh.” That’s because I couldn’t quite fathom how the precise and precious cuisine for which Pham is known would fit into a casual beer emporium. Well, I should have known better than to second guess the brainpower behind Bar-X, because it’s the partners of that splendid saloon—Ty Burrell, Duncan Burrell, Rich Noel and Jeff Barnard—who recently opened Beer Bar (161 E. 200 South, 801-3553618), with some culinary help from Pham. Beer Bar is directly adjacent to Bar-X, and patrons can stroll from Beer Bar to Bar-X and vice-versa via a connecting door-

way. My guess is that oldsters like myself will ultimately veer toward Bar-X, while the younger crowd will prefer the more raucous Beer Bar. Don’t get me wrong: I love them both. But I think the communal picnic table seating and cafeteria-style food setup of Beer Bar will appeal a little more to the college-age set. This place is aptly named. It’s a serious beer bar with, by my rough estimate, slightly fewer than 200 brews on tap, in bottles and in the form of beer cocktails such as the Belgian 75: gin, lemon juice, sugar, Belgian beer and a lemon twist. And beer aficionados will appreciate the effort that Beer Bar makes to serve various beer styles at the correct temperatures. Lagers, for example, are kept at 38 to 45 degrees, while strong ales are served at 45 to 50 degrees. Hand-pumped brews from the beer engine come in at a session-friendly 54 to 57 degrees. Impressive. Lest you think that this is a stuffy beergeek scene, however, think again. The vibe is casual, friendly and somewhat self-serve. There isn’t any table service, which means the bar can get pretty clogged on busy nights. For food, you wait in line and order at a counter, and your meal is delivered to your table. About that food, I was told by Ty and Duncan Burrell that Pham’s involvement was more about execution, kitchen planning, training and such than actual cuisine creation. Ty says that it was always his and

DRINK

REVIEW BITES

offering A WiDe VArieTY of

Copper Common

This recent addition to the local bar scene, from Copper Onion owners Ryan and Colleen Lowder, happens to be a great addition to the dining scene, as well. It’s a fullon, no-nonsense bar, for sure. But it’s also a bar with a full restaurant menu—and I’m not just talking nachos and chicken wings. There is something for everybody, from bar snacks like housemade pickles and smoked pork rillettes to mid-size plates of pastas, salads and such, plus large entree-type dishes like steamed cod with dashi, steak frites and more. One of the best Copper Common menu items is also one of the simplest: chicken croquettes. They come three per order, but I’m pretty sure I could eat a dozen. They’re a mixture of finely minced chicken blended with cremini mushrooms, a little seasoning and some milk and cream, rolled into torpedo shapes, breaded and deep fried. The result is crispy, ridiculously addictive bites of heaven. The service is impeccable, the vibe relaxed and friendly, the beverage selection seductive, and the ambiance delightful. It’s bar food at its best. Reviewed April 17. 111 E. 300 South, Salt Lake City, 801-355-0543

Pho Thin Famous Vietnamese Noodle House

| cityweekly.net |

LUnCH SPeCiALS DAiLY

A sampler of Ted Scheffler’s reviews

F F O % 50 I H S U S L L A S L L O Y! &R a d Y r E aY E V all d

| CITY WEEKLY |

34 | APRIL 24, 2014

DIM SUM ALL DAY EVERYDAY!

Beer & Wine WHY WaiT?

and asian grill M-Th 11-10•F 11-11•s 12-11•su 12-9

 noW opEn! 9000 s 10900 W, sandY & 3424 s sTaTE sTrEET  801.566.0721•ichibansushiut.com

Pho Thin is a little different than most of Salt Lake’s Vietnamese restaurants. It’s a bit more upscale than you might normally expect, with a vibrant color palette and subdued lighting. The menu is huge, with a halfdozen appetizers, a myriad of pho combinations, rice plates, specialty sandwiches, a variety of spring rolls, curries, wok specialties and desserts—plus, a decent wine and beer selection. The skewered chicken lemongrass rice rolls are a DIY operation: place a few chunks of grilled chicken and some noodles on the rice paper, then add your favorite condiments—shredded carrot, cucumber and radish, along with fresh mint, basil, cilantro and bean sprouts. The end result is a wonderful explosion of flavors and textures. And the pho broth at Pho Thin is as good as any I’ve tasted. It’s very clear and pure-tasting—pretty much the definition of good pho. Reviewed March 20. 2121 McClelland St., Salt Lake City, 801-485-2323

FRESH SEAFOOD C H I N E S E

1158 S. STATE ST. 801.359.3838 ❖ DIMSUMHOUSESLC.COM

DELIVERY · TAKE-OUT · CATERING

Shawarma King Middle Eastern Cuisine

725 East 3300 South Hours: Monday - Saturday 12pm-10pm Sunday 1pm-6pm 801-803-9434 | slcshawarmaking.com catering available

The OTher Place RestauRant Open 7 days a week mon - sat 7am–11pm sun 8am–10pm

Faustina

When Faustina lost its talented executive chef, Billy Sotelo, to La Caille a few months ago, I feared it might be curtains for Faustina. But with new Chef de Cuisine Joe Kemp and a new small-plates menu, Faustina’s food has been re-energized. Too often, small plates are accompanied by big prices. That’s not the case here, where the small-plates menu ranges from $4 for a plate of mixed olives to $12 for filet au poivre. I love a good steak—for three or four bites. So, I found the Oscar fillet to be quite satisfying. It’s a petite filet mignon seared to medium-rare and served Oscar-style, with lump blue crab and grilled asparagus, topped with a heavenly béarnaise sauce. True, I could eat a pair of Doc Martens bathed in béarnaise, but this mini-mignon was marvelous. Reviewed March 6. 454 E. 300 South, 801-746-4441, FaustinaSLC.com

C U I S I N E

469 e 300 s • 521-6567

breakfast

omelettes, pancakes gReek specialties

lunch & dinner homemade soup gReek specials gReek salads hot/cold sandwiches kabobs pasta, fish steaks, chops gReek platteRs & gReek desseRts

beer

wine

GOODEATS Complete listings at cityweekly.net

the FRIED SHRIMP ENTRÉE

Featuring dining destinations from buffets and rooms with a view to mom & pop joints, chic cuisine and some of our dining critic’s faves! Sushi Groove

restaurant & catering co.

9 Exchange Place, Boston Building Downtown SLC • (801) 355. 2146

To avoid smelling like old fish in the Salt Lake City sushi scene, a restaurant must serve up a superior product or offer something unique (or both). Sushi Groove holds its own with its roll offerings and even gives a creative, if not odd, twist to some items, like the Groovalicious roll: shrimp tempura, strawberry and cream cheese topped with crab, marlin, avocado, seared tuna, mango and eel sauce. Sushi Groove creates its own niche, with funky walls adorned with graffiti art that make an excellent backdrop to the live DJ performing most nights. And if you’ve ever wondered how cheap PBR pairs with sushi, this is the place to find out. 2910 Highland Drive, Salt Lake City, 801-467-7420, SushiGroove.us

Plates & Palates

with purchase of a full sandwich

South Jordan 10500 S. 1086 W. Ste. 111 801.302.0777

FA C E B O O K . C O M / A P O L L O B U R G E R

Provo -Est. 200798 W. Center Street 801.373.7200

Gift certificates available • www.indiapalaceutah.com

authentic new York City taste in SLC

| cityweekly.net |

complimentary side & drink

Plates & Palates in Bountiful is a combination cookware/bakeware shop, plus a deli/cafe with a smattering of indoor seating. It’s primarily a lunch spot, with seating in the rear, but you can also score dinner specials on the weekend. The ham & Swiss panini is made with high-quality Black Forest ham

11 NEIGHBORHOOD LOCATIONS |

@ fELdmanSdELi

apriL 26 - 6pm 4153 West 5415 South 801.964.1228

an evening of comeDy 50 patrons only (reserved seating) if you want to tell a joke to the group, you will get a $5 discount off your meal! call for reservations now: 801-906-0369

AUThenTic MexicAn cUisine BUY ONE

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Up to

ith any othe $10 r offer. EXPIRES 5/15 /2014

255 Main St • Park City 435-649-3097 (ToP of Main)

165 S. West Temple • SLC 801-533-8900

APRIL 24, 2014 | 35

Value Limit

| CITY WEEKLY |

25 Dinner &

•licorice Sweet/Salt/Double Salt

| CITY WEEKLY |

36 | APRIL 24, 2014

•Specialty MeatS & cheeSeS

Try our new Dutch Beef Croquettes on Fri & Sat (Kroketten)

Spend $30 geT $5 off! Coupon must be present. Limit one per customer. Offer from 4/23/14 - 5/1/14

2696 Highland Dr. 801-467-5052

Dutch, German & Scandinavian Market

olddutchstore.com

M-F 9am-6pm · Sat 9am-5pm · Closed Sunday

Mon-Sat: 9aM-10pM Sunday: 11aM-9pM

GOODEATS Complete listings at cityweekly.net and Swiss cheese on thick, rustic bread with herbed mayo and Dijon mustard. The lemon tarragon pasta salad easily feeds four people as a side dish or makes a couple of very generous portions to split. Green salad options include pear and pecan, Caesar, shrimp & spinach and cranberry-nut. They also do catering, so the next time you throw a party or office affair, keep this little gem in mind. 390 N. 500 West, Bountiful, 801-292-2425, PlatesAndPalatesUtah.com

Pho Bien Hoa

At Pho Bien Hoa, you have more pho (Vietnamese noodle soup) options to choose from than you could ever want, in small or large portions. Among the pho meat options are thinly sliced rare beef, flank steak, fatty flank, brisket, beef meatballs, tendon and tripe. Along with your pho, you’ll get condiments such as hot sauce, Thai basil, lime wedges, jalapeño slices, bean sprouts and cilantro. Pho isn’t the only option on the menu; you can choose from vegetarian offerings, vermicelli dishes and even brave a durian slushy. Dine inside in the clean, modern dining room, or take your comfort food to go. 4146 S. 1785 West, Taylorsville, 801-9692515, PhoBienHoa.com

Pig & a Jelly Jar

neW Sandy locatIon

9326 S. 700 e.

Mon-Sat: 10aM-10pM Sunday: cloSed

801.571.6868

| cityweekly.net |

The BeST SelecTion of hard To find duTch, german & Scandinavian foodS.

• Thursday Night BBQ Starts May 29

• 84 Years and Going Strong

• Live Music All Summer

• UDABC Liquor Licensee

• Creekside Patios

• Located Just 2 Miles East of Hogle Zoo

(Music schedule at www.ruthsdiner.com)

• Best Breakfast 2008 & 2010

Pig & a Jelly Jar, in the Liberty Park area, serves a from-scratch menu for breakfast and lunch all week, plus dinner Thursday through Sunday, with a focus on Southern-tinged comfort food. The space is cozy, friendly and invites you to linger, while the service is excellent. For breakfast, tempt your taste buds with various egg scrambles, ham hash, chicken & waffles and more. Lunch options include burgers, salads, sandwiches and soups. The blue-plate special changes daily, with items such as chicken potpie and Italian

• Breakfast served until 4 pm

197 North Main St • Layton • 801-544-4344

Quality pretense.

without open at

6am

now open at 6am

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meatloaf. 401 E. 900 South, Salt Lake City, 385202-7366, PigAndAJellyJar.com

City Cakes

Yes, there are “regular” cupcakes, cookies, brownies, fruit bars and custom-made wedding cakes made upon request here, but what sets City Cakes apart is that you can find all those comfort-food classics in vegan and gluten-free options. And beyond crafting treats that defy dietary-restricted expectations, City Cakes also offers breakfast and lunch options. The breakfast menu includes waffles, scones, muffins and cinnamon rolls, as well as organic, fair-trade coffee and tea. Lunch specialties include vegan chili, soups, au gratin potatoes and a vegan black-bean burger. Take-out and catering are available for your next vegan party. 1000 S. Main, Salt Lake City, 801-359-2239, CityCakesCafe.com

Cedars of Lebanon

At Cedars of Lebanon, cuisine from Lebanon, Morocco, Israel and Armenia is complemented by super service and even a private Moroccan room with floor seating for those looking for an exotic dining experience. But, of course, Cedars is really all about Raffi, the outgoing host and owner, who welcomes customers as if they are members of his family. At lunchtime, the meza appetizer combos are popular, as are the yero sandwiches, falafel, kebabs and Greek salads. In the evening, Moroccan specialties like luscious and savory pastilla, lamb tangine, Berber couscous and moussaka appear, along with the chef’s tantalizing beef chawarma. And don’t fail to try the housemade baklava for dessert. Bonus: Belly dancers make their moves on the weekends. 152 E. 200 South, Salt Lake City, 801-364-4096, CedarsOfLebanonRestaurant.com

GOODEATS Complete listings at cityweekly.net The Tin Angel Café

The Tin Angel Café is positioned directly across the street from the Farmers Market at Pioneer Park, so you can count on this funky, cool eatery to incorporate fresh ingredients whenever possible. In warm weather, the patio is a great place to take in the neighborhood sights and sounds, including frequent live music. Since the restaurant first opened, it’s morphed somewhat into a tapas/small-plates eatery, featuring bites like a Moroccan spiced-shrimp skewer, spiced almonds and gorgonzola, and white-bean hummus. Tin Angel’s salads are fresh and intriguing: The arugula with sliced beets, and the steak salad with fingerling potatoes, gorgonzola picante and asparagus vinagrette are especially delicious. Attention, brunch aficionados: The Tin Angel serves brunch on Saturdays. 365 W. 400 South, Salt Lake

thE pLaCE WhErE EvEryoNE "mEatS" City, 801-328-4155, TheTinAngel.com

Coffee Garden

Come in often enough, and the baristas here will treat you like family. High-quality coffee, espresso and tea, along with fresh Caprese sandwiches, pasta salads and pastries, are on the menu. Vast amounts of City Weekly staff’s total caffeine intake are supplied by the Coffee Garden’s Main Street location. But we don’t overlook the original 9th & 9th store’s unique charms; each location has a distinct personality, and each has earned a place near and dear to the hearts of Salt Lake City’s caffeine junkies—long may we jitter. 254 S. Main, Salt Lake City, 801-364-0768, 878 E. 900 South, Salt Lake City, 801-355-3425

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38 | APRIL 24, 2014

the railway man

Derailed

CINEMA

The Railway Man loses crucial information on the way to its conclusion. By MaryAnn Johanson comments@cityweekly.net

he Railway Man starts out like a sweet little romance, when Colin Firth meets Nicole Kidman somewhere near Edinburgh in 1980, on a train he’s only on because his encyclopedic knowledge of train schedules is allowing him to compensate for an unexpected delay in his travel plans. “I’m not a trainspotter,” he assures her. “I’m a railway enthusiast.” Later, he is able to contrive a second meeting with her because of his, yes, trainspotting superpower. Soon, they are getting married. Though not on a train. But The Railway Man is not a sweet little romance. It’s a story about PTSD—though from a time before it was called that—and an urge for revenge that turns into a desire for reconciliation and forgiveness. The forgiveness thing is part of what earned the true memoir by Eric Lomax—the guy Firth is playing here—its acclaim. And the major problem with The Railway Man movie is that it almost entirely ignores this amazing thing that makes the story worth telling. The script, by Frank Cottrell Boyce and Andy Paterson, takes probably too long in setting everything up and yet also, weirdly, seems to overlook some dramatically important things. The first half of the film flips back and forth between Eric in 1980 and the much younger Eric (Jeremy Irvine) in Singapore in 1942, when as a communications officer in the British Army, he was taken prisoner by the Japanese as they captured the city. In 1980, older Eric is having fits that we today recognize as PTSD flashbacks. (Firth is a tad too young to be playing the 60ish Eric, but he’s very good at balancing manly reticence regarding talking about emotions and letting us see Eric’s terrible pain.) To our eyes, this all looks very sudden: Was he having such violent episodes before, or is this a new development? If Patti, his new wife, has witnessed anything like this prior to the first one that ends up onscreen, on their actual wedding day, we

have no indication of it. We can begin Colin Firth and Nicole Kidman in The Railway Man to suppose that Eric had a Bad War, thanks to the narrative flashbacks, but poor Patti! Is she suddenly wonand later by Hiroyuki Sanada), he tells his dering what she has gotten herself into by former tormenter: “No one would believe marrying this guy? it. No one would believe what you did to We get to see what happened to Eric, and us.” Except, yeah, we would, because we’re the 1942 sequences are the most powerful doing it again now. And proudly. in the film ... though perhaps not always in If The Railway Man had let itself end on ways intended. Eric and his fellow Brits are the notion that for battered, almost-broken forced into slave labor building the notori- Eric, the war never ended—which is the ous Burma-Siam Railway—the one that overwhelming emotion it leaves us with— would later become infamous thanks to that would have been tragic, but it would the film The Bridge on the River Kwai—and have been a fitting cap for the story we’d just Eric’s railway enthusiasm gets him into seen. But it ends with one of those “where trouble with their captors. Bad enough that are they now” placards (the real Eric Lomax they discovered the radio he jury-rigged just died in 2012) that informs us that, oh, to hear news of the war from the outside hey, Eric forgave Nagase and they totes world, but they also found the map of the became best friends. Which induces a sort railroad he made, because that’s how much of narrative whiplash, because: What? We of a train nerd he is. But the Japanese fig- haven’t see any inkling that Eric might be ure him for a spy. willing—or able—to forgive. And so he is tortured. Director Jonathan We shouldn’t still be angry or confused Teplitzky pulls no punches. It is deeply or upset at the end of this movie. The unsetting listening to young Eric scream relief it implies its characters are afforded incoherently as he is waterboarded. It’s doesn’t make its way to us. That train got even more deeply unsettling wondering derailed somewhere along the journey. CW how many viewers who will find it deeply unsettling to watch nice, cute, white, innoTHE RAILWAY MAN cent Jeremy Irvine brutalized onscreen will be OK with the same treatment dished HH out by the nice, decent civilized West in the Colin Firth 21st century. When older Eric returns to Nicole Kidman Thailand in the ’80s and confronts one of Jeremy Irvine his torturers, interpreter Takashi Nagase Rated R (played as a young man by Tanroh Ishida,

TRY THESE The Deer Hunter (1978) Christopher Walken Robert DeNiro Rated R

The Hours (2002) Nicole Kidman Meryl Streep Rated PG-13

The King’s Speech (2010) Colin Firth Geoffrey Rush Rated R

Burning Man (2011) Matthew Goode Rachel Griffiths Not Rated

CINEMA CLIPS NEW THIS WEEK Information is correct at press time. Film release schedules are subject to change. Brick Mansions [not yet reviewed] An undercover cop (Paul Walker) tries to infiltrate a gang that possesses a weapon of mass destruction. Opens April 25 at theaters valleywide. (PG-13)

The Other Woman [not yet reviewed] Three women (Cameron Diaz, Leslie Mann and Kate Upton) team up to get revenge on the guy cheating on all of them. Opens April 25 at theaters valleywide. (R) The Quiet Ones HH.5 “Welcome to the experiment,” says seedy-tweedy Professor Coupland to his new documentarian, Brian (Sam Claflin), not quite adding “Bwahahahaha!” But you can hear it anyway. because we’re already starting to suspect that the academic is a little bit mad and a little bit sadistic. He’s also played by Jared Harris, bringing offhand creepiness to the screen. Coupland is attempting to implement a scientific cure of a “psychotic” subject (Olivia Cooke), who definitely Ain’t Right in a demonically possessed sort of way. Since the setting is 1974, Brian’s documenting of the experiment happens via giant clunky film cameras. Director John Pogue’s mix of straight-up narrative and Brian’s retro faux-found footage adds to the overall spookiness, in a way that the usual horror-flick claim that what we are witnessing was “inspired by actual events” does not. There aren’t many outright scares here, and when they do come, they are curiously circumspect. But once the experiment moves to a creaky old house out in the remote countryside, the old-fashioned Hammer horror atmosphere cranks up, and not just because of the ’70s-era fog of cigarette smoke hanging over the proceedings. Bwahahaha. Opens April 25 at theaters valleywide. (PG-13)—MaryAnn Johanson The Railway Man HH See review p. 38. Opens April 25 at Broadway Centre Cinemas. (R)

SPECIAL SCREENINGS

CURRENT RELEASES

The Cement Ball of Earth, Heaven & Hell At Main Library, April 24, 7 p.m. (NR)

Bears HHH A single bear mom and her two cubs make their way across Alaska’s Katmai National Park after hibernation, learning to forage while predators nibble at their heels. The latest DisneyNature Earth Day documentary doesn’t deviate much from the anthropomorphized playbook, but the manipulation is easier to take this time, thanks to some spectacular wintry locations and a narrative that’s mostly content to just let its stars be themselves. Best of all, perhaps, is the film’s choice of celebrity narrator, an area in which these movies have stumbled in the past. John C. Reilly’s bedtime story-ish vocal performance feels just right for the material, as well as occasionally meta-hilarious for older viewers. Warm, rumbly and endearingly befuddled, his voiceover often sounds like he just stumbled across a microphone and started rambling, in the best possible way. Send more wildlife to him, please. (G)—Andrew Wright

Creepers At Brewvies, April 28, 10 p.m. (R) The Great North Korean Picture Show At UMFA, April 30, 7 p.m. (NR) Kinderblock 66: Return to Buchenwald At Park City Library, April 29, 7 p.m. (NR) King of Kings At Edison Street Events Silent Films, April 24-25, 7:30 p.m. (NR) More Than Honey At Main Library, April 29, 7 p.m. (NR)

Finding Vivian Maier HH.5 John Maloof—co-directing with Charlie Siskel—tells a story that begins with his own discovery at an estate sale of hundreds

Joe HHH David Gordon Green returns to the hardscrabble Southern towns of his earliest films in this earthy, slightly schematic adaptation of Larry Brown’s 1991 novel. Nicolas Cage plays the titular Joe, a tough customer with a quick temper trying— although seemingly not all that hard—to stay out of trouble in a small Texas town. He meets Gary (Tye Sheridan)—a 15-yearold essentially forced to support his itinerant family thanks to the debilitating alcoholism of his father (Gary Poulter)—and winds up taking the kid under his less-than-pristine wing. Green allows the story to marinate for significant stretches in

the largely improvised scenes between Joe and various supporting characters, and Cage gives his most naturally lived-in performance in ages. It’s a bit less effective when it’s trafficking in overtly metaphorical material, like descriptions of Joe’s pet dog and Joe’s work intentionally killing useless older trees so promising young saplings have a chance to survive. The natural and the overtly literary bump awkwardly at times, but Joe works at capturing a place where casual brutality is just part of the landscape. Opens April 25 at Broadway Centre Cinemas. (R)—Scott Renshaw

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Jodorowsky’s Dune HHH Deep in the annals of movie geekdom, there is much lore about an aborted adaptation of Frank Herbert’s Dune that was to have been directed by Alejandro Jodorowsky, the Chilean visionary behind avant-garde cult classics El Topo and The Holy Mountain. Knowing how weird the eventual David Lynch version was, the mind reels to contemplate what bizarreness we’d have gotten from a director who’s 2.6 times more insane (figures are approximate). Now we have the next best thing to Jodorowsky’s Dune: Jodorowsky’s Dune, a sparkling, almost giddy documentary by Frank Pavich about the Dune that never was. With the cheerful Jodorowsky himself as our guide, and his magnificently storyboarded script to provide illustration, Pavich talks to artists, designers and technicians who worked on the project, and shows how influential it proved to be even though it didn’t get made. Far from being a bitter howl of frustration, the doc is an upbeat celebration of movie love and the creative process, brimming with entertaining anecdotes about 1970s Hollywood and what it’s like to work with a mad (but very friendly) genius. Opens April 25 at Broadway Centre Cinemas. (PG-13)—Eric D. Snider

Movie times and locations at cityweekly.net

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APRIL 24, 2014 | 39

CINEMA

CLIPS

of photo negatives by a nanny/housekeeper named Vivian Maier, who never publicly showed her work before she died in 2009. Maloof becomes fascinated with Maier’s shots of mostly Chicago-area street scenes, and buys more of her negatives while investigating her life. He uncovers compelling stuff about Maier’s reclusiveness, and possible indications of mental illness. And the photos themselves are striking works of candid portraiture. But Maloof also criticizes the arts “establishment” for refusing to accept Maier’s work into museums, and makes a protests-too-much point of claiming on camera “if I could give her the money, I would.” Learning about this great artist requires wondering whether the movie is a bit of an infomercial for her work. (NR)—SR Heaven is For Real HH Following a near-death experience, a 4-year-old boy finds himself with an eerily specific view of the afterlife, to the initial consternation of his pastor father (Greg Kinnear). Faith-based films have often favor message over medium, but this adaptation of the 2010 bestseller feels like an actual movie for much of the time, thanks to an ace supporting cast, and a nicely lived-in approach to the small town setting. As the narrative progresses, however, the tone become less surefooted, with the more unusual elements sometimes seeming like they’d be better suited painted on the side of a van, rather than depicted in a film with a limited effects budget. Give credit to the casting director for finding an actor who looks exactly like a young kid’s conception of Jesus, but some things work better when told, rather than shown. (PG)—AW

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40 | APRIL 24, 2014

Movie times and locations at cityweekly.net

Transcendence HH Like so much modern technology, it starts out full of promise before proving to be just another expensive gadget of dubious usefulness. Cinematographer Wally Pfister’s directing debut stars Johnny Depp as Will, a dying scientist who uploads his consciousness into the artificial intelligence device he’s been developing with his wife, Evelyn (Rebecca Hall), and their consciencestricken colleague (Paul Bettany). Now a super-intelligent living computer with access to all knowledge, Will develops nanotechnology that can heal injuries and cure disease—but at what cost? Despite the alluring premise of omniscient A.I., the film gets bogged down by elements it doesn’t have time to explore. Moreover, it lacks a strong lead; Depp’s digital entity is devoid of personality, while Hall is inconsistent and purely functional. The screenplay barely scratches the surface of the fascinating moral and scientific questions it hints at. (PG-13)—EDS

Under the Skin HHHH Co-writer/director Jonathan Glazer takes Michael Faber’s source-material novel and crafts a mind-blowing journey about what it’s like to be experiencing the world through eyes and ears that have never seen or heard it before. Scarlett Johansson’s never-named main character is not of this world—a hunter, prowling the streets of Glasgow and surrounding Scottish towns, luring men intoxicated with the promise of sex to their doom. Glazer refuses to spell out most of the details of this particular close encounter, demanding viewers’ full attention. Then again, it’s hard to imagine why anyone’s attention might wane from Glazer’s startling images and the unsettling music and sound design. There’s a hint of Kubrick here, it’s true, but Glazer’s distinctive combination of precision planning and the hiddencamera unpredictability of real people provides a perfect mix: the alien, and the unexpectedly human. (R)—SR

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Schoolâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s In

DVD

A+ Pass

Bad Country

Not a documentary about Lady Antebellum: In 1983 Baton Rouge, a cop (Willem Dafoe) talks a contract killer (Matt Dillon) into becoming an informant to bring down a crime ring. Based on a true story with even worse mustaches. (Sony)

Fail

Bad Teacher makes the grade, Black Box flunks and Playing House cribs.

The Class: The Complete Series The forgotten 2006 sitcom starring Jesse Tyler Ferguson (Modern Family), Lizzy Caplan (Masters of Sex), Jon Bernthal (The Walking Dead), Jason Ritter (Parenthood) and others who went onto better shows, if not better haircuts. (Warner Bros.)

Bad Teacher Thursday, April 24 (CBS)

Black Box (ABC) Thursday, April 24

and, since ABC blindly ordered 13 episodes without a pilot(!), thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be plenty of it.

Last Week With John Oliver Sunday, April 27 (HBO) Series Debut: Former Daily Show correspondent John Oliver would have been The Guy to take over Stephen Colbertâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s soon-to-be-vacated Colbert Report slot at Comedy Central, but HBO got him first. Not that heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be reporting the top news first because, as the title implies, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Whenever a story breaks â&#x20AC;Ś John Oliver will cover it the following Sunday.â&#x20AC;? Whatever Last Week With John Oliver lacks in immediacy and daily-ness, heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll probably make up for with F-bombs (itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s HBOâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re mandatory).

Friends With Better Lives Mondays (CBS) New Series: With an odd mix of genuinely funny actors who deserve better (James Van Der Beek, Zoe Lister-Jones) and the exact opposite (Kevin Connolly, Brooklyn Decker), Friends With Better Lives (and its obnoxiously enforced hashtag #FWBL) at least has the distinction of being even dirtier than lead-in 2 Broke Girlsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;if you can name another network sitcom with more blowjob jokes per minute, The Only

Bad Teacher (CBS) TV Column That Mattersâ&#x201E;˘ will â&#x20AC;Ś congratulate you. Apart from the aforementioned Bad Teacher, the only comedy criteria CBS execs seem to care about anymore are â&#x20AC;&#x153;Will it fill a half-hour?â&#x20AC;? and â&#x20AC;&#x153;Is the laugh track loud enough to drown out the screaming conscience in my head?â&#x20AC;? Done and done!

Playing House Tuesday, April 29 (USA)

A man out with his family at Disneyland (or not Disneyland, depending on which lawyers are reading) begins to see nightmarish visions as we learn valuable lessons about artificial perfection and tolerating black & white films. (FilmBuff)

Gimme Shelter A pregnant teenager (Vanessa Hudgens) disowned by her crackhead mother (Rosario Dawson) and rich father (Brendan Fraser) finds salvation (and James Earl Jones) in a shelter. Based on a true story with lessattractive people. (Roadside Attractions)

The Legend of Hercules

Series Debut: If you somehow recall Best Friends Forever, Jessica St. Clair and Lennon Parhamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 2012 NBC comedy about two almost-uncomfortably close girlfriends, know that Playing House is totally different. Then, St. Clair played a recent divorcee who moved in with her BFF (Parham) for support. This time, Parham plays a pregnant recent divorcee who moves in with her BFF (St. Clair) for support. Cut Parham and St. Clair some slackâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;no one saw the hilariously charming Best Friends Forever, and Playing House has the edge with better co-stars (like KeeganMichael Key and Jane Kaczamerek) and the chance of living beyond six episodes. Say, maybe 10! CW

Half-god/half-man/all-hunk Hercules (Kellan Lutz), exiled out of the VIP area, battles his way back into the kingdom to overthrow his stepdad and restore peace by committing as many violent 3-D acts as possible within a PG-13 rating. (Summit)

More New DVD Releases (April 29) Art Machine, The Best Offer, Bucksville, Dark Hearts, Devilâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Due, Gloria, Hill Street Blues: The Complete Series, Jim Gaffigan: Obsessed, Labor Day, Locker 13, Mr. Selfridge: Season 2, The Rocket, Seduced & Abandoned, The Selfish Giant, Trouble Every Day, Up the Junction Listen to Bill on Mondays at 8 a.m. on X96 Radio From Hell; weekly on the TV Tan Podcast via iTunes and Stitcher.

801-562-5496 â&#x20AC;˘ 9275 S 1300 W

APRIL 24, 2014 | 41

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| CITY WEEKLY |

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Series Debut: In 2013, NBC premiered (and two weeks later canceled) Do No Harm, about a brilliant surgeon with a nocturnal second personality that was more funâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; and, well, murderousâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;then the dull daytime doctor. Never a network to pass up an already proven bad idea, ABC now brings you Black Box, the story of a renowned neurologist (Kelly Reilly) whose under-wraps bipolar disorder gives her â&#x20AC;&#x153;insight into her patientsâ&#x20AC;? and full Acting! license to turn into a batshit-loony sex-bomb nightmare on a dime because Drama. She flushes her pills because she does her â&#x20AC;&#x153;best workâ&#x20AC;? (i.e., manic scribbles on her arms during blackouts and hallucinations) off the meds, and lives with the consequences (the viewersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; consequences: all of her personalities are annoying). Like Do No Harm, Black Box makes for good trainwreck hate-watchingâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;

Escape From Tomorrow

| cityweekly.net |

Series Debut: Do we really need a weekly sitcom take on Cameron Diazâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bad Teacher when the 2011 movie is still running on cable 24/7? If Diazâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV replacement is Ari Graynor (For a Good Time, Call), yes. The single-camera-no-laugh-track Bad Teacher comes off like a Fox comedy that wound up on CBS, and Graynorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Meredith, a dumped trophy wife who fakes her way into teaching at an upscale elementary school to snag Rich Husband No. 2, is far more appealing than Diazâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s toxic film version. She and vet David Allen Grier, as Nixon Middle Schoolâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s principal, make Bad Teacher CBSâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; funniest new comedy in yearsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;which means it wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t last long; catch it while you can.

| cityweekly.net |

| CITY WEEKLY |

42 | APRIL 24, 2014

Goodbye For Now

MUSIC Long Neck By Kolbie Stonehocker kstonehocker@cityweekly.net @vonstonehocker

Solarsuit release debut album before leaving on LDS missions.

“ T

By Gavin Sheehan comments@cityweekly.net @gavinsundrgrnd

ne of the fastest-rising bands in the SLC music scene w ill f inally be releasing its much-anticipated debut full-length album. But the excitement for Solarsuit fans may be short-lived, as the Holladay indie-rockers w ill soon be departing to ser ve a different audience this summer. As is often the case with many Utah bands, all of the members of Solarsuit are LDS. And since they’re also just finishing up high school, mission calls have always been an inevitable part of Solarsuit’s future. “We’re all LDS, and we found that it’s a really big part of our lives,” says vocalist, guitarist and keyboard player Logan Nelson. “We think it’s really important to put forth time for that, and a mission is a time for us to grow up and mature and experience things that aren’t just Utah things.” The group first came together in 2012, while the principal members—Nelson, Luke Barton (guitar/vocals), Ethan England (bass) and Matt Spurrier (vocals/keyboard)— were all in high school. They originally started out under the name Q& A, quickly earning recognition by opening for Imagine Dragons in March 2012, and released an EP. They changed the band’s name to Solarsuit in early 2013 to match their new sound, and spent a year and a half going through drummers before landing on Porter Babcock that summer. Solarsuit released their next EP, Twin Topic, in July 2013, while making their way around all-ages venues and underground parties to help build their audience. But the biggest bump the group received was being given the chance to open the 2013 X96 Big Ass Show—which featured headlining act Panic! At the Disco—an accomplishment that was hard fought for in a battle of the bands competition. “It was insane,” England says. “We sold 200 hard copies of the CD, girls were taking pictures of us, we were singing things. ... And we’re just these dudes from high school.” To get their full-length album off the ground, Solarsuit launched a Kickstarter campaign in December 2013, succeeding in raising the $8,000 they needed to record. They hit SLC’s Metcom Studios in February 2014 and quickly hashed out the album in daily eight-hour sessions, working with fellow musician Andrew Goldring as the producer, as well as engineer Clark Jackman, who worked on Twin Topic.

chris swainston

SOLARSUIT

The members of Solarsuit (Matt Spurrier, Porter Babcock, Logan Nelson, Luke Barton and Ethan England) will soon go their separate ways, but only temporarily. And unlike in previous sessions, discussions and delays in recording were almost nonexistent. “When we were younger, we got into more arguments about writing, and I think it just took some time for us to all get on the same page,” England says. “We all have different music backgrounds and tastes, and I think we’ve really synched in and dialed in what we’re looking for in our sound.” The band has taken the diversity of their live show— which can include heartfelt ballads and bouncy anthems— and perfectly replicated it in a studio recording. Besides Nelson’s already stellar performance on tracks like “Sweet Sinner” and “Sleeptalking,” the group vocals play out perfectly as a guide through a well-oiled machine of enthusiastic rock. This is one of those rare albums where you can hear that the band had fun putting it together. While the group may be disbanding for a couple of years, they’re at least doing right by the fans to leave an album that encompasses their sound and career up to this point. And like many acts who came before them, this may not be the end—just a break until the next chapter. CW

Solarsuit Album Release Show

w/Mister Smith, Great Interstate Velour 135 N. University Ave., Provo Saturday, April 26 8 p.m. $7 SolarsuitBand.com

he past year of my life, I’ve just been like ‘fuck it’ to everything, and just roll with it,” says Seth Cook, better known as Giraffula. Smile & Wave, the title of his new fulllength album, “was my favorite way of saying that. Like, ‘All right, whatever,’ you know?” And the Salt Lake City musician has put that philosophy into practice while facing several recent changes, including graduating from the University of Utah with a bachelor’s degree in film, joining Coyote Vision Group as the band’s new bassist and even deciding to ditch Giraffula’s long-standing one-man-band status. Since 2011, Cook has made a name for himself with his inventive solo performances, which are usually half experimental electro-rock, half performance art, often involving animal masks and rope lights. In a live setting, Cook builds his songs layer by layer, pressing pedals, recording loops and laying down guitar riffs and bass and keyboard lines with the dexterity of a guy with six hands. Until recently, Cook utilized pre-programmed drum-machine beats in his live performances, but for Smile & Wave’s release show and his live sets hereafter, he plans on including a permanent drummer in the Giraffula lineup. Live drumming, Cook says, is “more fun for the live show … and it speeds things up on my end. Sometimes it can be tedious and overly repetitive because I am working with the loops.” And having a drummer, he says, “adds a lot of variance to the songs.” Koala Temple’s Taylor Clark played drums on “a little more than half the record,” Cook says, and will also perform at the release show, but Cook is still searching for a full-time Giraffula drummer. Additional sonic variety was accomplished by Cook choosing to work with guest contributors— Gravy.Tron of the Dirt First Crew, Custom Model, Carson Keele and TJ Fitzgerald—on Smile & Wave, unlike his 2012 debut album, Sounds By, which he performed almost entirely solo. Smile & Wave, Cook says, is “about having fun and about growing up,” but it also features songs about “accepting your life and moving on from things.” The track “Summer Groove” is dance-y and lighthearted, but is slightly wistful in the lyrics “I know that nothing lasts forever/ And in the morning I’ll lay next to you/ But until then, let’s dance together.” It speaks to Cook’s embrace of life’s—and music’s—many changes. “I’m starting to branch out, and it’s a lot more fun to play with people,” Cook says. “I’m not really too worried about keeping up with the one-man image. I’d rather make better music.” CW

Giraffula Album Release

w/The North Valley, Palace of Buddies, Uinta The Urban Lounge, 241 S. 500 East Friday, April 25, 9 p.m., $6 Giraffula.bandcamp.com

| cityweekly.net |

| CITY WEEKLY |

APRIL 24, 2014 | 43

Saturday 4.26

4760 S 900 E, SLC 801-590-9940 | facebook.com/theroyalslc

❱ Bar | Nightclub | Music | Sports ❰

CHECK OUT OUR GREAT menu

wednesday 4/23

faster pussycat w/ seventking

thursday 4/24

open air stereo

Miggs • man on earth paper guns • berlin breaks friday 4/25

ECS, bombshell academy, Autumn Eclipse, Sparks Fire Benefit for Crystic Fibrosis

saturday 4/26

live music with

Hip Hop Roots SLC: Omeed the Nag Album Release, DopeThought, House of Lewis The lineup for this installment of Hip Hop Roots SLC will feature DopeThought, rap crew House of Lewis and Omeed the Nag— who’s also releasing his new album tonight— as well as a host of other local emcees and DJs. Omeed the Nag says his second album, Bird of Prey, was “inspired by traveling and playing music around this great nation” in the past year, when he performed at the Vans Warped Tour and the Stampede to Soundset Tour. If you haven’t seen House of Lewis—Atheist, Donnie Bonelli, Chance Lewis, Apt and DJ SkratchMo—live yet, you’re seriously missing out, as their entertaining stage antics and tight rhyming style can’t be matched. And DopeThought is one of the most solid emcees around. The night will also feature HighDro, Dusk Raps, Gryzzlee Beats, ConRad, Jaden Williams, MC Noetic and DJ Vagif. Kilby Court, 741 S. Kilby Court (330 West), 7 p.m., $10, KilbyCourt.com Tom Bennett Album Release If you’ve ever gotten the chance to watch this dapper gent as he’s busking around town, you’re a lucky duck indeed. Equipped with his shiny resonator guitar (named Mable, after his great-grandmother), harmonica and smoky voice, Georgia native Tom Bennett— who is also the founder of local folk record label Sweet Salt Records—is as musically skilled as he is soulful. And rarely is he not

Tom Bennett & Kristi Lauren

performing all your favorite party songs! you better wear cute undies... ‘cause you’re gonna dance your pants off!

open for brunch @ noon

sunday s

open @ noon for brunch

enjoy our big deck tuesday 4/29

open mic night

you never know who will show up to perform

thursday 5/1

wayland

w/ betty hates everything, the last wednesday, shasta & the second strings ALL SHOW TICKETS AVAILABLE AT SMITHSTIX OR AT THE ROYAL

LIVE

playing music, whether in local bands like The Saintanne and Murietta or solo, as he performs on his Americana-rich full-length debut album, The Man Who Shook The Trail of the Devil’s Hounds. This is the official release show for the CD, as well as a tour send-off party for Bennett and Kristi Lauren. There will also be live performances by Stephan Darland, Katia Racine, Cody Taylor, Kelli Moyle and Stephan Darland, as well as a full bar and hors d’oeuvres (admission includes one drink). Mod a-go-go, 242 E. South Temple, 7 p.m., $12 in advance, $15 day of show, Modagogo.com Bombay Bicycle Club Bombay Bicycle Club lead vocalist/guitarist Jack Steadman was traveling through Turkey, Japan, the U.K., the Netherlands and India when he wrote the band’s latest album, and the sound of So Long, See You Tomorrow (released in February) reflects those far-off locales. Compared to past albums—like A Different Kind of Fix (2011) and Flaws (2010)—the new material is much more poppy, a glittering tapestry of electronic effects, exotic instruments, fascinating percussion and danceable beats that’s fun but somehow a little wistful as well. If “Feel” is any indication, being in India seems to have been especially inspiring for the band—which was named after a now-defunct chain of Indian restaurants in the U.K. Check out the song’s accompanying color-blast of a music video, which is a choreographed Bollywood extravaganza. Royal Canoe is also on the bill. The Urban Lounge, 241 S. 500 East, 9 p.m., $16 in advance, $18 day of show, TheUrbanLoungeSLC.com

COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE

CITYWEEKLY.NET

BY KO L B IE S TO N EH O CK ER

@vonstonehocker

Bombay Bicycle Club Leopold & His Fiction Leopold & His Fiction might be based in Austin, Texas, but the band draws its sound from the musical heritage of Michigan, the home state of lead guitarist/vocalist Daniel James. Born in Detroit, James has a gritty voice that’s influenced by Motown R&B and sounds a bit like Jack White’s (another Detroit native) but is a lot more dynamic and powerful, and the group has also garnered multiple comparisons to ‘70s Iggy & the Stooges for their high-energy live show. Their latest single, “I’m Caving In”—from their

Leopold & His Fiction elaine huang

| cityweekly.net |

| CITY WEEKLY |

44 | APRIL 24, 2014

THIS WEEK’S MUSIC PICKS

| cityweekly.net |

| CITY WEEKLY |

APRIL 24, 2014 | 45

| cityweekly.net |

| CITY WEEKLY |

46 | APRIL 24, 2014

jon chamberlain

LIVE

Ghetto Ghouls upcoming new album, set to be released later this year—is a killer blend of garage-rock and soul, even though in an interview with American Songwriter, James said he originally wrote it as a sad country song. “I wrote this song at a time I thought I was out of life worth living,” he said. “It turns out that time was just the beginning of the beginning.” The Shred Shed, 60 E. Exchange Place (360 South), 8 p.m., $10, ShredShedSLC.com; limited no-fee tickets available at CityWeeklyStore.com

Monday 4.28

Ghetto Ghouls Bands have so many technological toys at their disposal these days that sometimes the most refreshing sounds come from bands choosing to stick to the essentials. And with their yelp-y vocals, one-two-threefour! drumbeats and guitar chords played at breakneck speed, the Ghetto Ghouls from Austin, Texas, are the epitome of the spirit of punk—no convoluted hyphenated genres here. The members of the Ghetto Ghouls— named for a street gang in the 1980 vigilante movie The Exterminator—have been playing together since they were 14, but rather than polishing their sound during all those years, it seems they’ve instead perfected their ability to play music while in a state of chaos. The band’s new self-titled album was recorded in only four hours, so no months-long tinkering and tweaking here: just raw, in-yourface power. Diabolical Records, 238 S. Edison St., 8 p.m., free, Facebook.com/ DiabolicalRecords

Coming Soon Ellie Goulding (May 1, The Great Saltair), The Dodos (May 1, The Urban Lounge), Rooftop Concert Series: Desert Noises, The National Parks, Strange Family (May 2, Provo Town Square Parking Terrace), Little Hurricane (May 2, The State Room), Better Taste Bureau Album Release, Mimi Knowles, Solarsuit, Luna Lune (May 3, The Complex), Desert Noises Album Release (May 3, The Urban Lounge), Mastodon (May 4, The Depot), Holly Golightly & the Brokeoffs (May 6, Kilby Court), Augustana (May 6, The Urban Lounge)

The

Westerner

Country Dance Hall

bar & grill

| cityweekly.net |

4-23

tonight!

FORTUNATE YOUTH W/ TRUE PRESS

4-25

DISFORIA CD RELEASE

4-26

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“ONE” THE ULTIMATE METALLICA TRIBUTE

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BERLIN BREAKS CD RELEASE

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W/ 9 ELECTRIC, PERISH LANE, A BALANCE OF POWER, AND CHANGE TO FIRE

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APRIL 24, 2014 | 47

POWERMAN 5000

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free pool & open dance floor

| CITY WEEKLY |

[FORMERLY THREE 6 MAFIA], TWISTED INSANE, WHITNEY PEYTON, SOZAY, AND ALAN WINKLE 21+

5-20

445 S. 400 W. SLC, UT 801.759.4233

SHOTS IN THE DARK

BY AUSTEN DIAMOND

Shots In The Dark is dedicated to giving you the skinny on Utah nightlife. Submit tips about openings, closings and special events to comments@cityweekly.net. For more photos, happenings and club commotion, check us out online at CityWeekly.net.

@austendiamond

Mike Degrazio, Izak Hayda, Chelsea Chena, Saun Matthews

Haley Malone, Tyann Patane

48 | APRIL 24, 2014

| CITY WEEKLY |

| cityweekly.net |

crowd shot

Gutter Satur Glitter Area 5days @ 1 451 S . 40

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APRIL 24, 2014 | 49

• free pool every night! •

| CITY WEEKLY |

beer pong tourney

OLD west pOker tOurnament mOnDays & weDnesDays

thursday

★ live music ★

| cityweekly.net |

145 pierpont ave

CONCERTS & CLUBS

andrew thomas lee

Complete listings online @ cityweekly.net

Manchester Orchestra

| cityweekly.net |

Bands slipped into the category of indie rock sometimes don’t necessarily amp up the volume, but Manchester Orchestra’s fourth album, Cope—released this month—delivers on pumped-up sound. In an interview with Spin Magazine, lead singer/songwriter/guitarist Andy Hull said that the band’s “mission statement was to make a crazy-loud rock record.” The five band members perform each song on Cope—which explores such themes as death, frustration and letting go—with exploding choruses that don’t sacrifice melody or comprehensible lyrics. Hull’s resonating tenor voice can soothe your senses in the body of a song and then burst out with controlled ferocity in the amplified bits. Balance & Composure will get things started. (Carly Fetzer) Saturday, April 26 @ In the Venue, 219 S. 600 West, 7:30 p.m., $17.50 in advance, $22 day of show, InTheVenueSLC.com

Thursday 4.24

DJ Table (5 Monkeys) ’80s Night (Area 51) The Raven & the Writing Desk, Hectic Hobo, Allison Martin (Bar Deluxe) Songwriter/Acoustic Night (Boothe Brothers Performing Arts Center, Spanish Fork) Karaoke With DJ Jason (Bourbon House) Shane Osguthorpe (The Century Club, Ogden) Cowboy Karaoke (Cisero’s, Park City) D&A (Cliff House Gastro Pub, Draper) Craig Larson Quintet (The Gallivan Center) Jazz Joint Thursday: Mark Chaney & the Garage Allstars (The Garage) Harry Lee & the Back Alley Blues Band (Gracie’s) Gemini Mind (The Hog Wallow Pub)

april 25 & 26

slim chance

| CITY WEEKLY |

50 | APRIL 24, 2014

City Weekly’s Hot List for the Week

giFt certiFicates aVailaBle at

4242 s. state 801-265-9889

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DJ Erockalypze (Inferno Cantina) Rags & Ribbons, Cade Walker, The Kings Solar (Kilby Court) Karaoke (Maggie McGee’s) Rilee Nicole, Lindsey Saunders, Paul Travis, Founder (Muse Music Cafe, Provo) Open Mic (The Paper Moon) Roby Kap or Scotty Haze (afternoon), Open Mic (evening) (Pat’s Barbecue) Soul Glow With DJ Street Jesus (Piper Down) Open Air Stereo, Miggs, Man on Earth, Paper Guns, Berlin Breaks (The Royal) Captives, No Sun, Rocky Mountain District, Wearing Thin (The Shred Shed) Poor Man’s Whiskey (The State Room) Jazz Jam Session (Sugar House Coffee) Hunter Hayes (UCCU Events Center, Orem) Mobb Deep, Concise Kilgore, DJ Juggy (The Urban Lounge)

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grand prize 4 night puerto vallarta & 4 night cancun mexico trip

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| cityweekly.net |

MondaY 50¢ wings & $3.5 Lime Margaritas saturd aY nigHts taco tuesdaY 50¢ tacos & $2.50 tecate WednesdaY krazY karaoke $ 2 fried Burritos & $1.50 dom. drafts tHursdaY LocaL Live Music, $1 sliders fridaY rYan HYMes saturdaY dJ Bangarang, $2.50 taco in a Bag sundaY $3.50 B-fast Burritos, & $2.50 Bloody Marys

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sUN & MON

| cityweekly.net |

| CITY WEEKLY |

52 | APRIL 24, 2014

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CONCERTS & CLUBS Complete listings online @ cityweekly.net South Paw, Danger Kids (Velour, Provo) Dan Weldon (The Wine Cellar, Ogden) Brewfish (The Woodshed)

Friday 4.25

The Nine-O! LIVE MUSIC APRIL 25th & 26th

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2750 south 300 west · (801) 467- 4600 11:30-1Am mon-sAt · 11:30Am-10pm sun

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BEFORE 4/30/14 201 E 300 S, SLC / 519-8900 / t a v e r n a c l e . c o m

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150 West 9065 south

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wed 4/23

Predatory light Winterlore + Moon of DeliriuM

thurs 4/24

the raven and the writing desk

Hectic Hobo + Allison MArtin Fri 4/25:

element 11 temPle build Fundraiser with king niko JuAnA GHAni & synAestHetic

sat 4/26:

shadow Play

DeAtHcrusH + reD siren + sun GrAve tues 4/29:

a minor Forest

(members oF Pinback) lA verkin & DWellers

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www.bardeluxeslc.com

open Mon-Sat 6pM-1aM 668 South State - 801.532.2914

Headquarter, Someone’s Mom (5 Monkeys) The 2:13s (ABG’s, Provo) SL,UT Anthems (Area 51) Element 11 Temple FUNdraiser: King Niko, SynAesthetic (Bar Deluxe) Chalula (The Bayou) Lady Legs (Brewskis, Ogden) Red Bennies (Burt’s Tiki Lounge) Lisa Hillary (The Century Club, Ogden) Preston Creed (5 p.m.), Changing Lanes Experience (9:30 p.m.) (Cliff House Gastro Pub, Draper) Paid in Full (Club 90) Best of Blues (Devil’s Daughter) DJ Dolph (Downstairs, Park City) Mokie (Fats Grill) Swede Sheiks (The Garage) DJ Gawell, The Number Ones (Gracie’s) Play Friday (The Hotel/Club Elevate) DJ Bentley (Inferno Cantina) DJ Harry Cross Jr. (Jam) Geppetto (Kamikazes, Ogden) Dark Seas, Breakers, Red Telephone (Kilby Court) Metal Gods (Liquid Joe’s) Disforia Album Release, Visigoth, Sonic Prophecy, Helvetica Scenario (Lo-Fi Cafe) Starr Saunders, Nikki Forova, The Soles (Muse Music Cafe, Provo) Rattlesnake Wine (The Outlaw Saloon, Ogden) Dan Weldon (The Owl Bar, Sundance Resort) Roby Kap or Scotty Haze (afternoon), Honey Pine (evening) (Pat’s Barbecue) ECS, Bombshell Academy, Autumn Eclipse, Sparks Fire, (The Royal) And I the Lion Album Release (The Shred Shed) DJ Scott Free (Snowbird Plaza Deck)

Spring Ska & Reggae Bash (The State Room) Whistling Rufus (Sugar House Coffee) Giraffula Album Release, The North Valley, Palace of Buddies, Uinta (The Urban Lounge, see p. 42) County Red (The Westerner) Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge) Eric Ward Trio (The Wine Cellar, Ogden) Sugartown Alley, Hectic Hobo (The Woodshed)

Saturday 4.26 Phat Daddy (5 Monkeys) Gutter Glitter (Area 51) The Number Ones With David Halliday (The Bayou) The Cover Dogs (Brewskis, Ogden) Glorious Bastards, Salt Lake Spitfires, Decibel Trust (Burt’s Tiki Lounge) Bill & Diane (The Century Club, Ogden) Chronic Vitality (Cliff House Gastro Pub, Draper) Paid in Full (Club 90) Open Mic Night (Copper Rim Cafe, Herriman) Downlink, Dieselboy, Jonny Law, Gameboy Dan (The Depot) Chris Orrock (Devil’s Daughter) Chris Kennedy (Downstairs, Park City) The Tribe of I, Justin Bridges (Fats Grill) Jessica Wilkes, The Wyatt Trash Trio (The Garage) Matt Miller, Chaseone2 (Gracie’s) Open Mic (High Point Coffee) Rick Gerber Band (The Hog Wallow Pub) Fuse: Anthony Motto (The Hotel/Club Elevate) Manchester Orchestra (In the Venue) DJ Erockalypze (Inferno Cantina) Party Like a Rock Star (Karamba) Hip Hop Roots SLC: Omeed the Nag Album Release, House of Lewis, DopeThought, HighDro, Dusk Raps, Gryzzlee Beats, ConRad, Jaden Williams, MC Noetic, DJ Vagif (Kilby Court)

CONCERTS & CLUBS Complete listings online @ cityweekly.net

Ingrid Michaelson

| cityweekly.net |

In Ingrid Michaelson’s melancholy duet with A Great Big World, titled “Over You”—from her appropriately titled new album Lights Out, released in April—the seasoned New York singer/songwriter wanders far from her characteristically upbeat pop style. She exposes a dark, even bitter, side on the experimental album, which is saturated with themes of loss and heavy with beautiful, tearevoking ballads like “Ready to Lose” and “Wonderful Unknown.” But hopeful love anthems like “Afterlife” and “One Night Town” offset the dark. “Girls Chase Boys” is the brightest spot on the record, reminiscent of older Michaelson classics like “Be OK.” The catchy, danceable tune makes a powerful statement, which she shares on her website: “No matter who or how we love, we are all the same.” Storyman and The Alternative Routes will open. (Deann Armes) Tuesday, April 29 @ In the Venue, 219 S. 600 West, 7 p.m., $28 in advance, $32 day of show, InTheVenueSLC.com

The Spazmatics (Liquid Joe’s) Da Mafia 6IX, Twisted Insane, Whitney Peyton, Sozay, Alan Winkle (Lo-Fi Cafe) Karaoke (Maggie McGee’s) J Godina (Maxwell’s East Coast Eatery) Tom Bennett Album Release, Katia Racine, Cody Taylor, Kelli Moyle, Stephan Darland (Mod a-go-go) Break of Reality (Murray Theater) Wasatch, The Virescent Project (Muse Music Cafe, Provo) WeberTown Fest: Mindy Gledhill, Fictionist, Allred, Brumby, Sammy Brue, DJ Marcus Wing (Ogden Amphitheater) Rattlesnake Wine (The Outlaw Saloon, Ogden) Joy & Eric (The Owl Bar, Sundance Resort) Hellcaminos (Pat’s Barbecue) The Party Rockers (The Royal) Leopold & His Fiction (The Shred Shed) Marinade (Snowbird Plaza Deck) Joy Spring Band (Sugar House Coffee) Bombay Bicycle Club, Royal Canoe (The Urban Lounge) Saturday Night Dance Party: Matty Mo (aftershow) (The Urban Lounge) Solarsuit Album Release, Mr. Smith, Great Interstate (Velour, Provo, see p. 42)

shervin lainez

voted best cabaret entertainment in utah 2014 c h eap e st d r i n ks , co l d e st b e e r

saturday april 26

h ot te st wo m e n

coming soon.... Queen of the Ring competition We haVe

fat tire Beer! ONly $4

4141 s. state · 261-3463 open daily 11:30-1am

The Green Leefs Authentic Mexican cuisine by

| CITY WEEKLY |

yes gringos - May 5th

Music by

CinCo de Mayo Celebration!

saT apriL 26 power hard

stripper fights!

CanCun Cafe

CosTume ConTesT for best dressed Senor and Senorita

165 E 200 S, Slc j o h n nys o n s e c o n d.com 8 0 1 . 74 6 - 3 3 3 4

APRIL 24, 2014 | 53

$4 Chevy Margaritas $10 Mexi Beer BuCket

s t a r ttin a

dEtECtoRS

Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge) Controversy (The Wine Cellar, Ogden) Party Hard Dance Party (The Woodshed)

Sunday 4.27

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299

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• OREM I680 N. STATE: 226-6090

FREE Layaway Se Habla Español

Model close-outs, discontinued iteMs and soMe specials are liMited to stock on hand and May include deMos. prices Guaranteed thru 4/30/14

Funk & Soul Night With DJ Street Jesus (Bourbon House) Karaoke (The Century Club, Ogden) Jam Sessions: Kemo Sabe (Cisero’s, Park City) Live Bluegrass (Club 90) The Last Honkytonk Music Series (The Garage) Haole Boys (Gracie’s) DJ Flash & Flare (The Green Pig Pub) Gong Karaoke With DJ Ducky (Jam) Pachanga Night (Karamba) Skating Polly (Kilby Court) Service Industry Night (Maxwell’s East Coast Eatery) Kerry O’Kee (Piper Down) Gates, Frameworks, Nora Dates, Tiny Moving Parts (The Shred Shed) Ghostowne (Snowbird Plaza Deck) A Band With an Angel (Sugar House Coffee) White Fang, American Culture, Jawwzz, Season of the Witch (The Urban Lounge)

DREW LANDERMAN 2010 MISS CITY WEEKLY

| CITY WEEKLY |

54 | APRIL 24, 2014

CONCERTS & CLUBS Complete listings online @ cityweekly.net

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| cityweekly.net |

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2012 MISS CITY WEEKLY

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CLAIM THE CROWN

THURSDAY, JUNE 5 CITYWEEKLY.NET/MISSCW

To apply to be a contestant for 2014 please email the following to misscityweeMiss City Weekly Pride Pageant, kly@cityweekly.net by May 4, 2014.

■ 1 TO 3 PHOTOS AS YOUR DR AG PERSONA ■ A SHORT WRITTEN BIOGRAP HY ■ A VIDEO INTRODUCING YOUR SELF (No longer than 2 minutes)

CONCERTS & CLUBS Complete listings online @ cityweekly.net Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge) Karaoke That Doesn’t Suck (The Woodshed)

Monday 4.28 Dillon Finn (Cliff House Gastro Pub, Draper) The Glitch Mob, Ana Sia, Penthouse Penthouse (The Complex) The Rockin’ Richards (Fats Grill) 22Kings (Gracie’s) Open Blues Jam (The Green Pig Pub) Rx (Guru’s Cafe, Provo) Karaoke (Maggie McGee’s) Karaoke (Poplar Street Pub)

Tuesday 4.29

Wednesday 4.30

- May 9 : krcL presents the cave singers May 11: the warLocks May 15: oLd 97s May 22: kyLe gass band May 23: kishi bashi May 27: tune-yards june 11: yann tiersen june 14: the deviL whaLe june 21: cooLio

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May 15 : olD 97S May 16 : Max PaIN & thE groovIES May 17 : Matt PoND Pa May 18 : rEPo B-Day BaSh May 19 : FrEE ShoW BEachMEN May 21 : lorIN WalkEr MaDSEN May 22 : kylE gaSS BaND May 23 : lIttlE grEEN carS (Early ShoW) May 23: kIShI BaShI (latE ShoW) May 24 : DWEllErS alBUM rElEaSE May 25 : Ill-ESha

May 26 : Early MaN May 27 : tUNE-yarDS May 28 : Margot & thE NUclEar So & So’S May 29 : SoUlvIllE SoUl NIght May 30 : Ill.gatES May 31 : DIrt FIrSt takEovEr! JUNE 2 : FrENch horN rEBEllIoN

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Karaoke With Steve-o (5 Monkeys) Westward, Baker Street Blues Band, In Transit (Bar Deluxe) Karaoke (Area 51) Warner Drive, Shasta & the Second Strings, Jazz Jaguars (Burt’s Tiki Lounge) Roby Kap (The Century Club, Ogden) Jake Skeen (Cliff House Gastro Pub, Draper) Childish Gambino (The Complex) Karaoke (Devil’s Daughter) Talia Keys (Fats Grill) The Number Ones (Gracie’s) DJ Street Jesus (The Green Pig Pub) Variety Night (Guru’s Cafe, Provo) Christian Coleman (The Hog Wallow Pub) Want Me Wednesday With Mr. Raddy (Inferno Cantina) Conn Curran and Rob Bennion (Maxwell’s East Coast Eatery) Open Mic (Muse Music Cafe, Provo) Karaoke (The Outlaw Saloon, Ogden) Kerry O’Kee (Piper Down) Karaoke (The Royal) Collin Welch Memorial Show (The Shred Shed) Sayde Price, Sea Wolf (seated event) (The Urban Lounge) Acoustic Showcase (Velour, Provo) Karaoke (The Wall, Provo) DJ Matty Mo (Willie’s Lounge) Jam Night With Dead Leg Trio (The Woodshed) Sweet Salt Records: A Good Ole Time (Zest Kitchen & Bar)

announced this week & featured

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Open Mic Night (Alchemy Coffee) A Minor Forest, La Verkin, Dwellers (Bar Deluxe) Local Jazz Jam (Bourbon House) Anvil (Burt’s Tiki Lounge) BeSerius: Raffi (Cisero’s, Park City) D&A (Cliff House Gastro Pub, Draper) Hell Jam (Devil’s Daughter) Red Rock Hot Club (Gracie’s) Industry Night (The Green Pig Pub) Ingrid Michaelson, Storyman, The Alternative Routes (In the Venue) Karaoke (Keys on Main) We Are Scientists, PAWS (Kilby Court) KHP, Geppetto, Sektau, Elisium (Metro Bar) The Tuesday Acoustic (Piper Down) Dance Yourself Clean (The Red Door) Warpaint, James Supercave (The Urban Lounge) Open Mic (Velour, Provo) Open Mic Night (The Wall, Provo)

Karaoke That Doesn’t Suck (The Woodshed)

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APRIL 24, 2014 | 55

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Adult

I Slept wIth my beSt frIend’S huSband

anonymouSly ConfeSS your SeCretS

CROSSWORD PUZZLE

ÂŠ 2014

BY DAVID LEVINSON WILK

Across

Last weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s answers

APRIL 24, 2014 | 57

Solutions available on request via e-mail: Sudoku@cityweekly.net.

| CITY WEEKLY |

No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9.

1. "Gonna Let It Shine" singer 2. Dances at a punk rock concert, say 3. Took the role of 4. Knit, as bones 5. "The King ____" 6. Seat that often swivels 7. Opens, like some jackets 8. "Animal House" star 9. Director Lee 10. Actress Lena 11. Calcutta native 12. Suffix with real or surreal 13. Auto racer Fabi

54. They may be put on 55. MapQuest abbr. 56. Together, in Toulon 57. Rackets 58. Indy 500 area 59. Prefix with meter

SUDOKU

Down

16. Bee: Prefix 20. ____-do-well 24. Treadmill setting 25. Light bulb inventor's inits. 27. ____-Grain cereal bars 28. Be ____ in the neck 30. Excited, with "up" 31. Beethoven's "___ Joy" 33. Alternative to an ellipsis, maybe 34. 1950s Israeli president Yitzhak Ben-___ 37. Alphabetically first state: Abbr. 38. Chess pieces 39. Bridge strategy 40. Brandy flavor 41. What a lover of kitsch has 42. Ring 43. Answer to "No, that's not!" 47. Turn 48. Authorizations 50. "Goosebumps" series author 51. Put (out)

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1. Nebraska tribe members 7. Credit Suisse rival 10. Facts of life? 14. Museum guide 15. Like some mountain guides 17. Nueva York, por ejemplo 18. Don 19. Movie about a safari animal using a microwave? 21. 2012 Seth MacFarlane comedy 22. Tenancy document 23. Rep. 26. Yoga posture 29. Book after Galatians: Abbr. 30. 1996 Oscar winner for Best Foreign Language Film 32. Movie about an effort to turn the smallest U.S. coin into the biggest? 35. Bit of ink 36. "The Return of the Native" vamp Eustacia 37. Movie about the devoutness of the U.S.? 44. Survivor of two 1918 assassination attempts 45. "The Black Cat" writer 46. They aren't just talkers 49. Furthermore 50. Some Latinas: Abbr. 52. "____ wise guy, eh?" 53. What 19-, 32- and 37-Across each contain? 58. "The Place for ____" (MSNBC slogan) 60. The Colts retired his #19 61. Chicken's comment 62. Over 63. Plays (with) 64. Season after printemps 65. Owns (up)

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| COMMUNITY |

58 | APRIL 24, 2014

PHOTO OF THE WEEK BY

INSIDE /

Matt Martinez

COMMUNITY BEAT PG. 58 FREE WILL ASTROLOGY PG. 59 street fashion PG. 61 A day in the life PG. 61 URBAN LIVING PG. 62 SLC CONFESSIONS PG. 63

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beat

Sing Your Heart Out, SLC By Jenn Rice

or those who enjoy singing, look no further than Karaoke SL,UT, Utah’s newest regional organization that will be qualif ying karaoke singers for the national Talent Quest karaoke competition. “It’s like an addiction,” says Katie Revels, board member of Karaoke SL,UT and national karaoke competitor. “Getting over your fear, climbing up on stage and singing your favorite song—it’s a rush! We all have our vices and ours is simply singing songs with our friends.” Karaoke SL,UT partners with great local venues in order to hold one of the largest karaoke contests in the entire state of Utah. “Utah singers have always been great and we want to continue that tradition,” says Revels. “We are coaching the singers and helping them be fully prepared for when they head to nationals. Singing in a bar is a great start, but [the national competition] is a whole different ballgame.” Categories include female pop, male pop, female country and male country, and the cost to enter is $20 for the first category and $10 for the second. All contestants

send leads to

community@cityweekly.net

must be 21 by September 1st in order to enter the contest. The top singers from each qualifying venue will then go on to participate in a regional contest held in July. The top singer within each category will win travel expenses, entry fee and hotel accommodations to compete in the weeklong National Talent Quest Karaoke Singing Competition in Laughlin, Nevada, in September 2014, which draws talent from around the world. “We do raffle ticket drawings at each of our venues in Utah and will be hosting car washes and other fun activities to raise as much money as possible,” says Revels. “We’ll also be putting together a food drive during our competitions to gather food for the Utah Food Bank.” Karaoke SL,UT is now qualifying singers through May 31st at Carols Cove 2 (featuring KJ Karaoke Mama), Devil’s Daughter (featuring KJ Entourage Entertainment) and Bonneville Brewery at All Star Bowling (featuring KJ Krazy Karaoke). To see weekly schedule times and to find out more information, check out w w w.facebook. com/karaokeslut. “It’s a blast being involved with Karaoke SL,UT,” says Revels. “I love being able to help people succeed and to see them strut out on stage with confidence—that’s the best prize for me.” n

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY B Y R O B

B R E Z S NY

Go to RealAstrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes. Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.

ARIES (March 21-April 19) If for some inexplicable reason you are not simmering with new ideas about how you could drum up more money, I don’t know what to tell you—except that maybe your mother lied to you about exactly when you were born. The astrological omens are virtually unequivocal: If you are a true Aries, you are now being invited, teased and even tugged to increase your cash flow and bolster your financial know-how. If you can’t ferret out at least one opportunity to get richer quicker, you might really be a Pisces or Taurus. And my name is Jay Z.

That’s an observation by philosopher Alphonso Lingis. I bring it to your attention, Libra, because I expect that you will soon be able to harvest a psychospiritual version of that supreme pleasure. You have been gathering and storing up raw materials for soul-making, and now the time has come to express them with a creative splash. Are you ready to purge your emotional backlog? Are you brave enough to go in search of cathartic epiphanies? What has been dark will yield light.

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| COMMUNITY |

APRIL 24, 2014 | 59

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) The potential turning points that might possibly erupt in the TAURUS (April 20-May 20) coming days will not become actual turning points unless you You remind me of a garden plot that has recently been plowed work hard to activate them. They will be subtle and brief, so you and rained on. Now the sun is out. The air is warm. Your dirt is will have to be very alert to notice them at all, and you will have to wet and fertile. The feeling is a bit unsettled because the stuff move quickly before they fade away. Here’s another complication: that was below ground got churned up to the top. Instead of a flat These incipient turning points probably won’t resemble any surface, you’ve got furrows. But the overall mood is expectant. turning points you’ve seen before. They may come in the form of Blithe magic is in the air. Soon it will be time to grow new life. a lucky accident, a blessed mistake, a happy breakdown, a strange Oh, but just one thing is missing: The seeds have yet to be sewn. healing, a wicked gift, or a perfect weakness. That’s going to happen very soon. Right? SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) GEMINI (May 21-June 20) If you happen to be an athlete, the coming week will not be Here’s an excerpt from “Celestial Music,” a poem by Louise a good time to headbutt a referee or take performanceGluck: “I’m like the child who buries / her head in the pillow / so as enhancing drugs. If you hate to drive your car anywhere but not to see, the child who tells herself / that light causes sadness.” in the fast lane, you will be wise to try the slower lanes for a One of your main assignments in the coming weeks, Gemini, is while. If you are habitually inclined to skip steps, take short not to be like that child. It’s true that gazing at what the light cuts and look for loopholes, I advise you to instead try being reveals may shatter an illusion or two, but the illumination you thorough, methodical and by-the-book. Catch my drift? In this will be blessed with will ultimately be more valuable than gold. phase of your astrological cycle, you will have a better chance at producing successful results if you are more prudent than usual. CANCER (June 21-July 22) What?! A careful, discreet, strategic, judicious Sagittarius? Would you like to forge new alliances and expand your web of Sure! Why not? connections and get more of the support you need to fulfill your dreams? You are entering the Season of Networking, so now CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) would indeed be an excellent time to gather clues on how best to My interpretation of this week’s astrological data might sound accomplish all that good stuff. To get you started in your quest, eccentric, even weird. But you know what? Sometimes life is— here’s advice from Dale Carnegie: “You can make more friends in or at least should be—downright unpredictable. After much two months by becoming interested in other people than you can meditation, I’ve concluded that the most important message in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” you can send to the universe is to fly a pair of underpants from the top of a flagpole. You heard me. Take down the flag that’s up LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) there, and run the skivvies right up to the top. Whose underpants Does Jamaican sprinter Usain Bolt run faster than any person should you use? Those belonging to someone you adore, of alive? As far as we know, yes. He holds three world records and has course. And what is the deeper meaning behind this apparently won six Olympic gold medals. Even when he’s a bit off his game, irrational act? What exactly is life asking from you? Just this: he’s the best. At the 2008 Beijing Summer Olympics, he set the Stop making so much sense all the time—especially when it all-time mark for the 100-meter race—9.69 seconds—despite comes to cultivating your love and expressing your passion. the fact that one of his shoelaces was untied and he slowed down to celebrate before reaching the finish line. Like you, Bolt is a Leo. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) I’m making him both your role model and your anti-role model for You need to take some time to explore the deeper mysteries the foreseeable future. You have the power to achieve something of snuggling, cuddling and nuzzling. In my opinion, that is your approaching his levels of excellence in your own field—especially sacred duty. It’s your raison d’etre, your ne plus ultra, your sine if you double-check to make sure your shoelace is never untied qua non. You’ve got to nurture your somatic wisdom with and especially if you don’t celebrate victory before it’s won. what we in the consciousness industry refer to as yummy warm fuzzy wonder love. At the very least, you should engage in some VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) prolonged hugging with a creature you feel close to. Tender In his unpublished book The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows, John physical touch isn’t just a luxury; it’s a necessity. Koenig coins new words that convey experiences our language has not previously accounted for. One that may apply to you sometime PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) soon is “trumspringa,” which he defines as “the temptation to Your body contains about four octillion atoms. That’s four with step off your career track and become a shepherd in the mountains, 27 zeroes after it. Believe it or not, 200 billion of that total were following your flock between pastures with a sheepdog and a rifle, once inside the body of Martin Luther King, Jr. For that matter, an watching storms at dusk from the doorway of a small cabin.” To be average of 200 billion atoms of everyone who has ever lived and overtaken by trumspringa doesn’t necessarily mean you will literally died is part of you. I am not making this up. (See the mathematical run away and be a shepherd. In fact, giving yourself the luxury of analysis here: http://tinyurl.com/AtomsFromEveryone.) As far considering such wild possibilities may be a healing release that as your immediate future is concerned, Pisces, I’m particularly allows you to be at peace with the life you are actually living. interested in that legacy from King. If any of his skills as a great communicator are alive within you, you will be smart to call on LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) them. Now is a time for you to express high-minded truths in “The supreme pleasure we can know, Freud said, and the model ways that heal schisms, bridge gaps, and promote unity. Just for all pleasure, orgasmic pleasure, comes when an excess proceed on the assumption that it is your job to express the truth tension built up, confined, compacted, is abruptly released.” with extra clarity, candor and grace.

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sugarhouse

| COMMUNITY |

hile I was a student at the U of U, I joined a fraternity against my parent’s wishes. Joining that fraternity was the best decision I ever made. Not only did I gain brothers to help me navigate college, but also met some of the most incredible people who are still changing my life today. One of those brothers recently transitioned and is now our sister. I’d like to tell her story now. Sophia always knew she was a woman, but felt confused that she was living life as a boy without the vocabulary to express her concern. She tried to suppress her feelings by adopting a hyper-masculine persona, participating in sports as a child and joining a fraternity. Every attempt to masculinize her life brought more depression and thoughts of suicide. By the time she finally accepted herself and realized that transition was the only way to seek real happiness, she was halfway through her collegiate experience. She went to a therapist and eventually started hormone replacement therapy. Sophia transitioned out of necessity. It literally saved her life. She has a female body now and she sometimes feels her emotions stronger than she used to. She’s even getting used to the random prolonged glances from strangers. Sophia still does all of things she loved doing before her transition—video games, hacking, reading, and spending time with friends. The only difference is that she can do so comfortably, in her own skin. The guys she grew close to in our fraternity have stayed connected and fully accept Sophia as the woman she always was, even when she didn’t have the body she was supposed to. Sophia’s sister was the first family member to support her transition. Without her support, Sophia doesn’t think she would have had the courage to start this journey. Her parents love her and accept her and while they’ve come a long way in accepting Sophia, that part of this journey isn’t complete. Sophia only has one regret- that she didn’t accept herself earlier in life. She struggled with self-acceptance for a very long time. She knows there were probably times when she could have transitioned but didn’t because she questioned herself and was too afraid. Sophia’s message to those who want to transition but haven’t is to do it. Life gets better and the journey gets easier when you start to be authentic. n

Stevens-Henager College

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62 | APRIL 24, 2014

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WITH BABS DELAY Broker, Urban Utah Homes & Estates, urbanutah.com Chair, Downtown Merchants Association

City Views: Amusement Utah

just got to spend time with 100,000 of my closest friends at Comic Con: The FanXperience this past weekend at the Salt Palace Convention Center. Holy spandex, Batgirl! That was like Burning Man meets Nerds in Space. I was asked to be on a panel on sexism and objectification in Cosplay and then afterward I got to consensually hug and drool over Elvira in the flesh. As I walked away from the crowd in a self-induced cloud, I saw a sign hanging high in the vending area with the word “Evermore.” What is it, you ask? It’s a Harry Potter meets Jack the Rippersmelling Victorian “adventure park” that will open next year in Pleasant Grove, Utah. Poor ol’ Lagoon ain’t gonna know what hit it when this “First Adventure Park in the World” opens. Lagoon, the 27th oldest amusement park in the United States, was not our first playland, but it was the first park west of the Mississippi River. It first opened in 1886 and was one of three amusement parks that operated on the shores of the Great Salt Lake. Today it is located in downtown Farmington, Utah. Evermore, on the other hand, is not selling itself on rides, roller coasters and rowdy fun. Their website is touting the Victorian mysteryland as an attraction open all year round featuring themed events like a Carnival of Wonders, a Rippers Cove and Christmas/Halloween seasonal events. The park will have a dozen retail shops, three high-end restaurants, a three-acre lake, a two-acre town square with a performance stage, elaborate gardens and a huge cast of professional performers. Professional makeup artists and costumers from amusement parks and haunted houses will be making the people and the 40-acre place period believable. Will it attract visitors? The founder of Evermore is the same man who’s banking that non-drinkers in Utah will pay $15 a piece for virgin cocktails at his high-end club he’s building on 400 South and West Temple in Salt Lake City. Amusement parks like Lagoon are just as popular as they were a century ago. I think we have more Halloween horror houses than anywhere else in the country raking in millions. We’ll all look forward to some great escape, even if it is in beautiful downtown Pleasant Grove, Utah. n

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