City Weekly Dec 18, 2014 by Copperfield Publishing

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2 | DECEMBER 18, 2014

CWCONTENTS COVER STORY City Weekly Staff

Going out? Staying in? Whatever your New Year’s Eve style may be, City Weekly has you covered with an hour-byhour guide. Cover photo illustration by Susan Kruithof

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KATHERINE PIOLI

Get Out, p. 17 Katherine Pioli is a native Salt Laker. When she’s not camping, gardening or playing sports, she’s writing about her exploits and local environmental issues.

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Letters Becker Does It Better

WRITE US: Salt Lake City Weekly, 248 S. Main, Salt Lake City, UT 84101. E-mail: comments@cityweekly.net. Fax: 801-575-6106. We reserve the right to edit for length and clarity. Preference will be given to letters that are 300 words or less and sent uniquely to City Weekly. Full name, address and phone number must be included, even on e-mailed submissions, for verification purposes. Hopefully, police body cameras and the presence of citizens with cell phones will begin to turn the tide on this unconscionable behavior. I am encouraged that the Department of Justice is still investigating the death of Michael Brown. Hopefully, charges will be brought against his killer. This no-indictment was a travesty of justice, as the released documents prove. I am a 60-year-old white woman, but I still wonder if I might be caught up some day in an encounter with a Salt Lake City police officer who feels his right to use deadly force is greater than my right to life.

I always enjoy City Weekly’s Hits & Misses column, and this week’s version [Dec. 4, City Weekly], was no exception. Unfortunately, the Rocky III segment, while a nice complement to John Saltas’ piece [“Mayor Maybe”], is wildly inaccurate. Some simple research would have revealed that Mayor Becker’s work on addressing our air-quality issues, creating programming for Salt Lake City youth/students and expanding the portfolio of city-owned open space/parks properties is significantly more substantial than former Mayor Anderson’s work in those areas while in office. I realize those facts don’t dovetail quite as nicely into the thematic bent of the issue, but there it is.

Elisabeth Carroll Salt Lake City

Art Raymond Spokesman, Salt Lake City

Not So Affordable

A New Response Is Needed

In Britain, in 2013, two so-called Muslims ran down a British soldier in civilian dress, then butchered him with a cleaver and knives. When police arrived, the still-armed and bloody men rushed at the officers, but the female officer fired six shots to disable, not to kill. The men were sentenced to life and 45 years, respectively. This is how all law enforcement in the United States should be taught to respond: disable, not kill.

I am one of the many Utahns with no health insurance. I’m not a bum, I don’t beg for money. I earn it, and I work hard for it. I’m an independent contractor, so I pay cash for medical-office visits. I’m 53 years old, divorced, head of household, and pay high rent to live with my son. That, and all the expenses that go along with it, leaves me very little money to get by on after the monthly bills. I work when I have work, but sometimes in this crazy business there’s no work for a while. It’s a treadmill run till you hop off; then it starts back up again.

My doctor won’t prescribe my meds unless I have a physical once a year. Like I said, money is tight, but that doesn’t matter; the meds must go on. My office visit two years ago was upfront out of pocket $93 cash. Then, after the physical and the costs of the lab work, it was $350. Yup: $443 total. Fast forward to July of this year. The office visit was $145. Still another visit had to be scheduled for my physical. $145, plus my lab work costs. I have to choose between the grocery list and my medical list. Strange. I didn’t think I would end up here at 53, but here I am. I make the same hourly wage I made over 20 years ago. Does that surprise you? Well, it shouldn’t. Good solid wages today for a lot of folks are like insurance: out of reach, and the people that have the money are out of touch. I voted for President Obama because he is a good man. But affordable for everyone means not so much for me.

Mark Hurst Murray

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OPINION

Walk the Walk

When I was in college, I lived four miles from campus. I probably could have walked the distance in an hour, yet not once in five years did it occur to me that I could or should. Bike? Only kids rode bikes then— fixed-gear Schwinns with balloon tires and coaster brakes. Bus? Out of the question! The cool guys drove British roadsters to the university. Until Ford built the first Mustang, the rest of us made do with old cars that left oil stains in the driveway. My preference for driving was typically American. Why walk when you can drive? We Americans calculate “within walking distance” in yards, not miles. We take to our feet when necessity dictates that we reach the store from the parking lot, drain the dog’s bladder, atone for carbs or raise money for causes. Sure, a few of us do hike the Wasatch Mountains, march in parades, trek the Annapurna Circuit, meander through Red Butte Garden or stroll through City Creek mall. But you don’t find many who walk for the sake of walking. I know only two people for whom “the journey is the destination,” as they like to say. Mike and Petra Metras met while walking the Camino de Santiago, the ancient pilgrimage route across Spain to the tomb of St. James. (The patron saint of soldiers and laborers, the same James who reportedly appeared to Joseph Smith in 1829.) After that 500-mile walk, Mike and Petra married. Later, they walked 5,321 miles from California to Jerusalem. You can read about it in their book, Encounters on the Road to Jerusalem. My wife and I began to talk about walking the Camino de Santiago even before seeing Emilio Estevez’s movie The Way. What better way to explore Northern Spain, spared the encumbrances of rental car or tour bus? It also offered a rare opportunity to be a peregrino—a pilgrim— which resonated for us as descendents of people who walked across the Great Plains

in 1856 for the sake of religion. The pilgrimage concept is lost on Americans, and “pilgrim” has been so degraded by advertisers that it is little more than an autumnal caricature. I can’t speak to the status of “pilgrim” in Europe, but for more than 1,000 years, people have made their way to James’ tomb in an act of piety or penance. But, of the almost 216,000 peregrinos who finished the Camino de Santiago last year, some intended a journey of religious devotion, some did not. Many, like my wife and I, were attracted by the adventure and satisfaction that come with a very long walk. In making the decision to go, we acknowledged that we would be peregrinos in name only. To be sure, we would be travelers, not tourists, but the journey we had in mind was more akin to Graceland than Mecca. We decided not to walk all 500 miles from the Pyrenees to Santiago. Instead, we mapped a leapfrogging itinerary that favored vineyards and historic cities over featureless flatlands and suburbs. We picked up the trail in Pamplona, the city made famous by bull-runners, and walked west for 100 miles or so. You can’t walk for days on end without thinking about what Henry David Thoreau called “the art of walking.” I hadn’t given it a lot of thought beforehand, but I was anticipating a brush with Kinhin, Zen Buddhism’s walking meditation. Instead, I got a lesson in animal instinct. The more I walked, the more my autonomic nervous system seemed to defer to my feet. They set the pace even as they steered a course to level, cushiony ground in the often-rocky path. I was aware of my eyes sweeping the trail like radar for rocks and mud, but my feet seemed to navigate unassisted. My knees registered protests on downhill stretches, and my entire body recoiled involuntarily from stairs. I had to admit

STAFF BOX

BY JOHN RASMUSON

Readers can comment at cityweekly.net

that I felt more like a horse plodding than a Buddhist meditating. “You must walk like a camel,” wrote Thoreau, because it is “the only beast which ruminates when walking.” Wordplay aside, I did spend some part of every day ruminating. There was opportunity enough, and our camel’s pace, less than three miles per hour, was conducive to flights of thought. One day, we walked on a remnant of road cobbled by the Romans. Not far from it, cars sped by on a highway. I tried to imagine the process Roman soldiers used to build the rock road 2,000 years before. Then, pondering the asphalt highway, I decided it would be short-lived by comparison. Our pace was also conducive to conver sat ion . We shared time, space and imperfect Spanish with peregrinos from all over the world. At the end of the day, the communa l dinners were “joyous moments,” to borrow a phrase from Frederic Gros’ recent book, Philosophy of Walking. Gros writes that reaching a destination after a long walk “casts a backward light on the road” and has the effect of reversing time: “What was accomplished in fatigue, sometimes boredom … is transformed into a series of necessary and joyous moments.” I like the proposition that reflection in the present enhances events of the past. These very words serve that purpose. With Spain now burnished in my memory, I turn my attention to next semester’s class schedule at the University of Utah. A continuing-education class called “Bike the Camino de Santiago” catches my eye, but I am looking for an interesting reading list to see me through the bleak months of winter. I look forward to walking to and from class. My house is three miles from campus. It is not far at all. CW

What’s the farthest you’ll consider walking somewhere?

We Americans calculate “within walking distance” in yards, not miles.

Send feedback to comments@cityweekly.net.

Scott Renshaw: I’ll walk pretty much anywhere I can get in half an hour or less. Unless I’m in a hurry. Or it’s raining. Or it’s too hot. Or too cold. Or if I’m going to have a lot of stuff to bring back. So I pretty much never walk anywhere. Colby Frazier: In everyday life, a couple of miles, a distance that hasn’t changed much over the years. The colder, hotter and messier the weather, the better. But give me the time and the dough and an absence of responsibilities in everyday life, and I might just walk away forever.

Sarah Arnoff: I like Stephen Wright’s attitude: “Everywhere is within walking distance if you’ve got the time.” “Too far” for me is usually if I don’t have time to walk there or if I have to lug stuff to or from my destination. Or if it’s really cold outside.

Derek Carlisle: Five blocks heading all directions, as long as I’m not hiking the Aves or the east bench. Nicole Enright: I’d walk pretty much anywhere. When it’s warm, I walk everywhere. Most summer Sundays, my husband and I walk about eight miles round-trip to our favorite breakfast place. I also walk to work all summer. It changes more with the seasons. In the winter, I don’t even want to walk outside. Rachel Piper: I grew up with a total anti-walking attitude. My best friend and I lived exactly one mile apart, but we walked to meet just a handful of times—otherwise we got rides or resigned ourself to the phone. Now I often try to walk (or jog) places within five miles, so long as there aren’t hills, or if I’m running late ... which I almost always am.

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HITS&MISSES by Katharine Biele

FIVE SPOT

random questions, surprising answers

@kathybiele

Give ’Em Shelter Here’s an idea: Move Salt Lake’s homeless shelter to Draper. Without the prison there, the land could become a virtual campus for homeless services. It’s the perfect place, what with the proximity to transportation, health care and social service facilities. But wait. What would the developers say? They’re looking for those upwardly mobile, income-generating types. You know, like when they built The Gateway. Let’s face it. Moving accommodations for dependent populations is always fraught with problems—mostly from neighbors. People see prisoners and homeless families as less than desirable neighborhood partners. Former Mayor Palmer DePaulis and Gail Miller will head the homeless campus search. DePaulis has said in the past he didn’t like the idea of moving, and for sure, Miller won’t be suggesting EnergySolutions Arena as a possibility.

Dem Votes Politics is weird. Why else would someone vote for a measure they really didn’t want in hopes that they could vote it down later? It’s all about the bizarre strategies of political insiders. The latest has a number of Democrats unhappy with Sen. Karen Mayne, D-West Valley, after she voted in favor of a measure she had “grave concerns about.” The subject was public lands, and whether Utah should start looking for lawyers to sue the federal government on the heels of a study saying there was money to be had in the transfer of lands to Utah. Now, normally Democrats don’t have much of a voice in the Legislature, but this time they could have stopped the Legislative Management Committee from moving forward. Except for Mayne, who buckled.

Grandfatherly Advice There’s no telling what will sway Gov. Gary Herbert, who sometimes seems just the least bit scared of the Legislature. Healthy Utah? Well, he’s worked hard on it, but it’s anyone’s guess whether lawmakers will run with it. Meanwhile, a group of senior citizens—the Utah Citizens’ Counsel— issued a list of recommendations for the governor and policy wonks to consider. These included incentives to clean the air, requests for more public education funding, Medicaid expansion and more. The recommendations are admittedly a bit progressive, but they come from a bipartisan group united mainly by age and former influence. Herbert would be wise to heed their advice. They have perspective and, unlike legislators, no hidden agenda.

Drones have something of a sinister reputation—How many is Obama watching us with right now? What if a CIA drone crashes into the Amazon.com drone carrying my new toaster?—but hey, wouldn’t it be fun to have your own? Ryan Wood and Jon McBride (pictured) of Rocky Mountain Unmanned Systems hopes so; the West Valley company (2034 S. 3850 West, RockyMountainUnmannedSystems. com) opened just a few months ago and carries a variety of personal Unmanned Aerial Vehicles (UAVs) to help companies with difficult jobs as well as provide the public with the ability to f ly unmanned drones and take professional-quality photography using UAV cameras.

What can people do with their own Unmanned Aerial Vehicles?

Right now, it’s kind of a new concept, but we do have a few high-end buyers. We are hoping to partner with the governor’s office as well as local police and fire departments, search & rescue, even the Utah Avalanche Center. We think it could be really beneficial to them. These can carry different cameras, like infrared for search & rescue, which can see someone from almost a mile away. Our motto is that it would be great for the three Ds: deadly, dirty and dangerous jobs. But right now, it’s mostly hobbyists buying the smaller models.

What laws and regulations are there for drone use? There’s nothing that says you cannot operate any of this equipment. There are basic guidelines to keep us out of the airspace of real planes, so it tends to be that you can’t fly over 400 feet or fly these within five miles of an airport. The FA A says that you can’t fly over the Super Bowl or anything like that. The FA A will be making a ruling specific to UAVs soon just because there’s so much technology out there and it’s so accessible.

How difficult are drones to operate? Anyone can fly one of these. There’s not much of a difference between these and remotecontrolled airplanes except that these are more advanced, have better technology and better flight systems. These have been so easy to operate; they can be GPS guided with waypoints where you don’t even have to control them directly. The DJI Phantom 2 Vision Plus is the most popular model in the UAV industry, and it’s relatively easy to operate and assemble out of the box.

Why should people buy from Rocky Mountain Unmanned Systems when the Internet is full of drone dealers?

The best thing we offer is great customer service and the knowledge we have about these products. A lot of time you go in to a hobby store and say, “I hope this is what I need,” unless you really know the hobby. With us, you can come in off the street and get a full tutorial. Flying it for the first time can be kind of intimidating, especially if you just spent $1,200, so we help with that as well. If you buy online from a manufacturer, then you will more than likely have to assemble it, and that can be pretty difficult. Calibrating the UAV is also tough; we’ll help you get it set up and ready to fly rather than having you just go into it on your own.

Nathan Turner comments@cityweekly.net @uncensorednate

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STRAIGHT DOPE Tanned Hide When I was a kid, I spent every summer at the local pool. I was very tanned because there was no such thing as sunblock. I suspect things were pretty much the same throughout the entire history of mankind. Yet modern medical research tells us almost any exposure to the sun without protection could lead to skin cancer. Did societies such as the ancient Egyptians suffer from high rates of skin cancer, or are these alarms being sounded to help manufacturers sell more sunscreen? —Chris Rozek You seem to have been fortunate enough to avoid any experience with “black herpetic type lesions,” as Hippocrates described skin cancer circa the fifth century BC. Good for you and your leathery skin. But before you start slathering on the baby oil, consider this: the median age of onset for melanoma (the most deadly type of skin cancer) is 55, with the highest incidence rates found in the 65-plus demographic. I’d keep a closer eye on those irregularly shaped moles if I were you. There’s definitely cause for general concern: in the past 20 years, overall skin cancer incidence in the United States has increased 300 percent. While non-melanoma skin cancers are the most common, we’ll focus specifically on melanoma because it’s the scariest—according to the American Cancer Society, one person dies of melanoma every hour. Of the seven most common cancers in the U.S., it’s the only one whose incidence is increasing—one Connecticut study found an incidence rate for men 18 times higher in the mid-2000s than in the early ’50s. Another fun fact: About 86 percent of melanomas can be attributed to exposure to ultraviolet radiation from the sun. Why, then, didn’t the ancient plebeians toiling in the fields all drop dead from malignant skin tumors? Mostly because they dropped dead from a lot of other things first. So yes, cancer was actually very uncommon for the Egyptians, but not because solar UV is no big deal. Life expectancy for the pharaohs only reached 40 to 50 years, and they mostly stayed inside and got fanned with palm fronds. Laborers tended to live maybe 25 to 30 years, so while they likely did receive serious sun exposure, they generally didn’t get old enough for the melanoma to show up. Other reasons for the apparent rarity of skin cancer (and of cancers generally) in antiquity could be the difficulty of detecting tumors in ancient remains, or the increasing carcinogenic factors in our modern environment: pollution, industrialization, depletion of the ozone layer, etc. There is evidence of bone-penetrating skin cancer from as far back as 2,400 years ago in Incan mummies in Peru, and mentions of skin cancer in the medical literature have increased over the years as both life expectancy and diagnostic skills improved. But what accounts for the fantastically higher incidence rates in the last half-century? The short answer is that

BY CECIL ADAMS

SLUG SIGNORINO

the pastiest-skinned among us are baring our bodies at unprecedented levels, and in areas of the world that white skin is illequipped to handle. People with paler skin are 20 times more likely to develop skin cancer than those with darker skin. Additionally, melanoma develops most frequently in those with excessive sun exposure early in life. This explains why the incidence of melanoma in Australians and New Zealanders—whose populations consist largely of transplanted (very pale) northern Europeans—is two to three times higher than in the U.S., where the population is less white and the UV rays less strong. In other areas of the world, the way we spend leisure time has had a big impact. First of all, we have more of it. The workweek has shortened by a third since 1880, resulting in numerous surplus hours to spend on newly popular outdoor activities. Around 1900, sun exposure was prescribed as a cure for tuberculosis and other illnesses, and tanned skin began to be viewed as healthy, rather than as suggestive of an impoverished lifestyle. Fashion also changed, encouraging people to expose more skin to the sun. Beach holidays boomed in the ’50s, and bikinis took off (and were taken off, in France) in the ’60s. The last straw was the proliferation of indoor tanning centers, which increase your cancer risk even more than the sun. The first one opened in the U.S. in 1978; 10 years later there were 18,000 of them. Analysis of current data suggests that the incidence rate of melanoma is likely to keep increasing for the next two decades at the very least. Attempts to raise sun-exposure awareness haven’t done much, although there’s some sign that in Australia, where one might reasonably be freaked out by the cancer stats, behavior and incidence may have responded slightly to years of high-profile campaigns (Slip! Slop! Slap! Seek! Slide!). Is skin cancer real? Yes. Can we do anything about it? Doubtful. As any parent of a teenager knows, trying to get people to cover up who don’t want to is pretty pointless. So, barring some global reversal in fashion, skin cancer is just one of those problems the modern world is going to have to learn to deal with. Send questions to Cecil via StraightDope. com or write him c/o Chicago Reader, 350 N. Orleans, Chicago 60654.

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DECEMBER 18, 2014 | 11

homelessness

Unsheltered

—Glenn Bailey, Crossroads Urban Center director

Momentum builds behind potential relocation of SLC homeless shelters. By Eric S. Peterson epeterson@cityweekly.net @ericspeterson In the 1980s, the homeless shelter in downtown Salt Lake City was surrounded by vacant lots, with most nearby traffic coming from the rumbling of passing trains. Fast forward to 2014, and The Road Home and Catholic Community Services shelters on Rio Grande Street between 200 and 300 South have seen development on all sides in the form of artsy apartments, and nearby Pioneer Park is surrounded by quaint cafes and eateries. Only 50 yards separates the busy holiday shoppers at The Gateway mall from the equally frantic crack and heroin shoppers outside the shelter on the other side of 200 South. Now, a nonprofit called The Pioneer Park Coalition has been laying the groundwork for a controversial and potentially dramatic rehab to the neighborhood—a campaign to relocate the shelter, or at the least redesign the existing facilit y in a way that, says coalition leader Scott Howell, will help the safet y and welfare of the homeless and improve the neighborhood around it. Just as the decision to relocate the Utah State Prison in Draper has courted controversy that the plan is focused on improving property values and helping out developers, the discussion about relocating the shelter is causing some to worry that this, too, is about profitable land developments and not the betterment of the city’s most vulnerable. But Howell, a former Democratic state legislator who ran for U.S. Senate against Utah’s Orrin Hatch in the 2012 election, says that what people don’t realize is that his coalition is looking at every dimension of the problem and trying to bring everybody to the table— even those service providers who are grimly skeptical about the coalition’s priorities. “There are so many, many pieces of the puzzle that you have to take into consideration,” Howell says. “It’s not just saying we’re going to move The Road Home and say everything’s solved—people who think that don’t have a clue of all the challenges.” While the coalition has expressed its support of a wide array of proposed reforms, it’s the group’s interest in relocation or redesign that’s excited the most controversy. And for the first time in years, the discussion about relocation

ANDREW FILMORE

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NEWS

“There’s not enough opportunities on the back end for people ready to get out of the shelter. That’s where the money needs to be spent.”

New nonprofit The Pioneer Park Coalition is advocating for reforms to improve life around The Road Home homeless shelter (photographed above in 2013) that include calling for the relocation or at least redesign of the existing shelter. appears to have legs. Salt Lake City Mayor Ralph Becker recently announced the formation of a commission dedicated to evaluating homeless site services. His commission will be led by prominent figures such as philanthropist Gail Miller and former Salt Lake City Mayor Palmer DePaulis, who helped choose the location of the existing homeless shelter on Rio Grande Street. Becker’s strategic plan on homelessness isn’t focused solely on re-evaluating the shelter site. The city has helped fund part-time jobs for homeless people cleaning up around the shelter area, and has proposed building 300 new permanent supportive-housing units in the city to help the chronically homeless. But Becker also says that after 30 years, the existing shelter facilities are due for an update. The facilities are not only old, he says, but “are also configured in a way that if we were going to start from scratch, they probably wouldn’t be designed this way.” And while he has his thoughts on the shelter, his emphasis is on a commission that can bring all the stakeholders together. “We seem to be getting more and more side conversations around our facilities and what to do with [them],” Becker says. “I just believe, in general, we need to get everyone talking to each other, at the same time and preferably at the same place.” This big-table idea has also been espoused by The Pioneer Park Coalition, which boasts dozens of

members ranging from businesses affected by crime around the shelter area to service providers. But Glenn Bailey, director of the Crossroads Urban Center, a Salt Lake City low-income-advocacy group, says it’s a smaller group that is steering the direction of the coalition. The steering committee includes representatives of Garbett Homes; Josh Romney, son of Mitt Romney, who owns property in the area; and Tiffany Provost of Axiom Properties, which owns the Tin Angel Café next to Pioneer Park. Bailey says he’s attended coalition meetings and that while the coalition has expressed interest in funding affordable housing, the message from the coalition’s “powers that be” is that they won’t be able to leverage privateinvestor dollars unless the focus is specific to transforming the shelter area, and relocation has been on the top of the agenda. “Our community ought to be inclusive of rich and poor, and we should be looking for ways to live together and build one community rather than sort of pushing people around based on temporary economic incentives—and the value of that land right now is one of them,” Bailey says. Howell acknowledges that his involvement in the coalition came at the behest of Garbett Homes, which has wanted to develop land near Pioneer Park but has struggled due to the crime in the area. But he also says that his coalition’s in-depth study of the problems in the area show that the reforms would be

about more than prettifying the area. Extensive research into other sites, he says, makes it clear that having two streets run alongside a shelter, as in the case of Salt Lake City’s, allows for an easy drive-through drug-buying experience, whereas a more restricted traffic design could impede drug dealers and buyers from swooping in and out of the shelter area, Howell says. Perhaps one of the coalition’s biggest strengths, Howell says, is being able to leverage private-sector support to improve not only the shelter—whether it’s moved or stays on Rio Grande—but also the larger community of haves and have-nots. The coalition also boasts the expertise of architect and former Salt Lake City Councilman Soren Simonsen, who could help redesign the park to better accommodate families in the neighborhood, Howell says. He adds that members of the coalition told Matt Minkevitch, the director of The Road Home, that they could line up donated construction and design services, as well as real-estate agents who would commit to not taking a fee if they could find a place to relocate the shelter, but that Minkevitch wasn’t interested. “I think Matt is a saint,” Howell says. “But I also believe you can also get so caught up in your own world that you don’t know what’s happening outside the wall. You can’t have this broad sense of what could be, from what is.” Minkevitch did not return a call for comment, but at a Dec. 12 legislative committee hearing, said that The Road

continued

ANDREW FILMORE

NEWS

Salt Lake City Mayor Ralph Becker has formed a commission to study the site of the Salt Lake’s homeless services, including The Road Home shelter, pictured above in 2013.

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The prevalence of the synthetic drug Spice in the shelter is one thing that Howell says the coalition is focusing on. He describes going on a ride-along with police when they found a man near the shelter who had pulled the lid off a manhole cover and was digging in the sewage for what he told them was a lost $20, but turned out to be a bag of Spice he had dropped. The coalition plans to lobby the Legislature to find a more comprehensive way to ban the synthetic drug. It’s hard to ignore the fact that many come to the shelter because of their drug addictions, he says, or the amount of crime near the shelter. A review of Salt Lake City Police Department responses to the shelter area show a surge in incidents police have responded to—though it’s also likely that the increase is tied to SLCPD’s Metro Support Bureau setting up shop near the shelter in July 2014, which has increased patrols and police presence in the neighborhood. In 2013, The Road Home and the Weigand Homeless Day Center received 93 ambulance visits, compared to 116 ambulance calls from Jan. 1 to Sept. 30, 2014. In 2013, police responded to 17 calls to deal with mentally ill individuals, but in the first three quarters of 2014, responded to 43 calls of mentally ill individuals. Suicide attempts brought the police out 12 times in 2013 compared to 17 times in the first three quarters of this year. In 2013, the half block saw 100 calls for simple assault and 21 for aggravated assault—while in only the first three quarters of 2014, police responded to 234 simple-assault reports and 107 complaints of aggravated assault. Dispatches for assaults alone have more than tripled since 2013, and may quadruple before the year’s end. Howell says his coalition is ready to tackle this problem head-on, even if it upsets some of the established players in the support field. “I might not be the most popular guy with the service community, or anyone who doesn’t want change,” Howell says. “But I also get that a genuine belief in transformation that will benefit our most vulnerable isn’t easy.” CW

| cityweekly.net |

Home’s priority is not shelter renovation, but creating more affordable housing. At the hearing, he cited the success of the Housing First model to help find supportive housing for the chronically homeless. Between 2005 and 2014, Utah made significant strides in bringing the chronically homeless from 17 percent of the homeless population down to 4 percent. And the best way to help the shelter population, he argued, is by finding housing for the most troublesome cases. “Over the economic downturn, we had a 300 percent increase in the number of families turning to us in need of shelter,” Minkevitch told the committee. “But as jaw-dropping as that is, we didn’t have to build a new or bigger shelter. The capacity we created was by helping [chronically homeless] individuals who are living at the shelter move out.” The chronically homeless, he said, “only represent 10 percent of the total population experiencing homelessness, but on any given night, those individuals consume 50 to 55 percent of all the beds we provide.” And fewer chronically homeless translates into more beds for families and others who’ve found themselves homeless after a sudden economic downturn, and shelter until they’re able to rebound. Minkevitch told the committee that 90 percent of shelter residents cycle out of the shelter within a few months, but the other 10 percent could spend hundreds if not thousands of days in the shelter without the relief of supportive housing projects. Bailey of the Crossroads Urban Center also says the priority above a new shelter is housing, for low-income families on the verge of homelessness. “We also have a housing crisis on the front end, where working-class people can’t afford rent anymore in our city, and that leads to homelessness, and then there’s not enough opportunities on the back end for people ready to get out of the shelter,” Bailey says. “That’s where the money needs to be spent.” While Howell says transitional housing is important, he stresses that existing conditions at the shelter simply are not working out for the safety and welfare of the homeless.

| cityweekly.net |

| CITY WEEKLY |

14 | DECEMBER 18, 2014

the

OPEN ALL WINTER

OCHO

the list of EIGHT

by Don’t interrupt, Alfred! I’m trying to fathom the subconscious of a deadly criminal! Oh, and I won’t be home this Christmas.

bill frost

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@bill_frost

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CITIZEN REVOLT by COLBY FRAZIER @colbyfrazierlp

Celebrate & Participate This week in 2013, federal judge Robert Shelby put a match to Utah’s constitutional amendment that forbid same-sex marriage, which spawned a year of courtroom brawls between state leaders and equal-rights advocates that concluded when the U.S. Supreme Court declined to hear the case. Shelby’s feat will be celebrated this week by several advocacy organizations. Also this week, a candlelight vigil will be held in Pioneer Park for the homeless, and the legislature’s Prison Relocation Commission will meet.

Homeless Persons Memorial & Candlelight Vigil  Thursday, Dec. 18

To honor those who lost their lives because they lacked a home, the Fourth Street Clinic and the Salt Lake County Homeless Coordinating Council are hosting a candlelight vigil. Held in conjunction with similar events across the country, the vigil will include guest speakers as well as hot chocolate, coffee and candles.  Pioneer Park, 400 S. 400 West, Salt Lake City, Dec. 18, 5:30-6 p.m., FourthStreetClinic.org

Eight excuses for not visiting family over the holidays:

Work for the godless Liberal Media cranking out lists in a sweatshop.

7. Promised to spend more

quality time with Netflix queue.

Dinner conversation already exhausted through “Re: Obama is the Antichrist” e-mail exchanges.

5. Alcoholism not yet advanced enough.

Currently living in car, don’t want to lose sweet parking space.

3. Picked up too many extra shifts at the strip club, er, homeless shelter.

2. Didn’t receive the Facebook

invite.

1. Am Batman.

Same-sex Marriage Anniversary

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An Episcopal Church

Christmas Eve Services

5:30 p.m. Family Service & Holy Eucharist 7:30 p.m. Holy Eucharist & Music 10:30 p.m. Caroling With Choir 11:00 p.m. Midnight Mass with Choir, Pageantry & Brass Sermon- The Rt. Rev. Scott B. Hayashi, 11th Bishop of Utah

Christmas Day

10:00 a.m. Holy Eucharist

Sunday Services 8 a.m. & 10:30 a.m.

All are welcome regardless of denomination Please come and celebrate with us!

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The Very Rev. Raymond Joe Waldon, Dean

Saturday, Dec. 20

Same-sex marriage advocates aren’t about to forget the day U.S. District Judge Robert Shelby ruled that Utah’s ban on same-sex marriage was unconstitutional. As Utah lawmakers and those opposed to equal rights reeled, thousands of same-sex couples were wed—a courtesy of the Utah Attorney General office’s failure to ask that the ruling be stayed while the case was appealed. Join Equality Utah, the Utah Pride Center, ACLU of Utah and Marriage Equality USA for a one-year anniversary toast. Southeast corner of Trolley Square next to Wells Fargo, 700 E. 600 South, Salt Lake City, Dec. 20, 3-5 p.m., ACLUUtah.org

Prison Relocation Commission Meeting Monday, Dec. 22

If you live near one of the four proposed relocation sites for the Utah State Prison, you should head to the state legislature’s Prison Relocation Commission meeting, where they’ll discuss how the sites were chosen and how to move forward with a “public engagement plan.” Given the widespread protest from proposed site communities, it’s possible that the room where the commission will meet won’t be big enough, so arrive early. Senate Building, Room 210, 350 N. State, Dec. 22, 2 p.m., Le.Utah.gov

Curses, Foiled Again

NEWS

QUIRKS

Ontario resident Kai Xu was charged with smuggling after border agents at the Detroit-Windsor Tunnel discovered more than 50 turtles strapped to his body and hidden between his legs. Acting on a tip about a large box sent from Alabama to a Detroit postal center addressed to Xu, U.S. authorities staked it out until Xu arrived to claim his package. He then concealed the turtles under his clothing, but Canadian authorities found them after stopping him in Windsor as soon as he re-crossed the border. (The Detroit News) n Authorities arrested Deborah Asher, 37, in Laurel County, Ky., for drug possession and trafficking after she attracted their attention by wearing a shirt with the slogan “I love crystal meth.” (Associated Press)

Monumental Boondoggle

Adieu to the View

Police arrested James E. Irving Jr., 44, in Gainesville, Fla., for poking his girlfriend in the eye “to express his disdain” because she served him waffles for his birthday breakfast instead of the pancakes he wanted. Police sent Irving to the Alachua County, Fla., jail, which the next morning, sheriff’s Sgt. Becky Butscher said, served fruit, grits, sausage, bread and butter. (The Gainesville Sun)

Bad Business Companies named Isis are complaining the Islamic militant group ISIS (an acronym for Islamic State of Iraq and Syria) is hurting their business. The name is part of more than 270 registered product, service or business names, according to the U.S. Patent & Trademark Office. Explaining that his Isis Collection, which makes weaves, wigs and hairpieces, is named for the Egyptian goddess, New Jersey’s Phillip Shin declared he has “lost all the benefit of the brand image” and wishes the U.S. and European media would stop referring to the militants as ISIS. Aeran Brent of Southern California’s Isis Bridal & Formal said she’s tired of visitors photographing the store’s sign. “I get what’s going on, but can you see it’s a store?” she said. (Associated Press)

One More for the Road Responding to a report of a woman who “appeared out of it,” a sheriff’s deputy found France Riney, 60, sitting in a parked car in Port St. Lucie County, Fla. “I asked Riney for her driver’s license,” the deputy stated in an affidavit. “She handed me a bag of chips and dropped them on the ground outside her vehicle. I asked her again, and she handed me a bottle of water. When I told her she was giving me a bottle of water, she put it down, picked up a bottle of vodka and took a drink from it.” She then declared she’d had “enough” to drink. Even though the car wasn’t running, she was charged with driving under the influence. (Orlando Sentinel) Compiled from the press reports by Roland Sweet. Authentication on demand.

Donate to homeless pets this holiday season: Bring in some of our most needed Wish List items to be placed under our “Hope for the Holidays” Christmas tree!

Be Seated Kohler Co. unveiled its new deodorizing toilet seat, which, product manager Jerry Bougher proclaimed, eliminates embarrassing bathroom odors and the candles and sprays needed to cover them up by attacking smells “where the action is.” The $90 battery-operated seat uses a hidden fan to suck in air and push it through an odor-eating carbon filter. An optional scent pack is available. (Associated Press)

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A British company said it intends to change commercial air travel by developing an airplane without windows. Removing windows, according to the Centre for Process Innovation (CPI), would eliminate the need to reinforce the fuselage, making planes lighter and thus more fuel-efficient. Instead of windows, ultra-thin flex screens could display outside scenery captured by cameras outside the plane or act as a personal touch screen for passengers to surf the Internet or check e-mail while flying. The concept is still in its design phase, CPI developers said, noting it will take around five years before the screens, using organic light-emitting diodes, are ready for full production. (Britain’s Daily Mail)

Slightest Provocation

| cityweekly.net |

Fifteen years after Congress authorized a memorial for Dwight D. Eisenhower in Washington, D.C., the project has cost taxpayers $65 million, but the monument remains on the drawing board. Plus, the government is spending $1 million a year for a nine-person staff to oversee day-to-day operation of the project for the 12-member commission in charge of the memorial’s “nature, design, construction and location.” The commission paid architect Frank Gehry $16.4 million for a design that commission member Bruce Cole calls “bizarre” and which the Eisenhower family vetoed. Susan Eisenhower, the president’s granddaughter, called Gehry’s plan “flawed in concept and overreaching in scale.” While the project remains stalled, the commission wants Congress to give it another $50 million to keep going. (The Washington Times)

BY R OL A ND S W EET

| cityweekly.net |

| CITY WEEKLY |

16 | DECEMBER 18, 2014

ESSENTIALS

the

THURSDAY 12.18

David Ericson Fine Art: Spring City Ladies For the holiday season, many Salt Lake City art galleries—such as Phillips Gallery and 15th Street Gallery—feature an assemblage of represented artists in holiday shows. At Art Access and Finch Lane, artists are invited to contribute handmade seasonal arts and crafts. Other galleries, such as Modern West Fine Art, Alderwood Fine Art and David Ericson Fine Art, take time to focus on a few selected represented artists. At Ericson, the current show featuring Lee Bennion, Kathleen Peterson and Sophie Soprano might be considered a holiday show extension, as the themes of these three exceptionally gifted artists from Spring City are well within the warm and generous spirit of the holiday season. Bennion has an unmistakable style that focuses on scenes of the everyday lives of women. Her bright but comfortable palette energizes canvases and brings them to vibrant life. In “Balance,” we see a woman who’s beautiful in her poise, grace and stature, standing before a vase of flowers. Her hands gesture as if this is an offering. Peterson is well known for her iconic, simplified and stylized portrayal of woman. “Sisters” is a long horizontal canvas with many woman pictured, but they’re not necessarily familial sisters; they might represent the spirit of sisterhood, linked side by side, arm in arm. Sophie Soprano takes a chance on flights of fancy with vibrant color and graphic, imaginative canvases. “Band of Angels” (pictured) is a literal flight of a team of horses, galloping through the sky, maintaining peace below. (Ehren Clark) Spring City Ladies @ David Ericson Fine Art, 418 S. 200 West, 801-533-8245, through Dec. 23, free. DavidEricson-FineArt.com

Entertainment Picks DEC. 18-24

Complete Listings Online @ CityWeekly.net

FRIDAY 12.19

SATURDAY 12.20

Plan-B Theatre Company’s holiday show, Christmas With Misfits, is ultimately a quite satisfying production, although like Christmas—to say nothing of indie theater itself—getting there is occasionally rocky. The show, written by veteran local playwright Julie Jensen, consists of four short pieces centered around various aspects of Christmas as a holiday and the effect of those aspects on a variety of characters played, in turn, by Kirt Bateman (pictured), Colleen Baum and Jeanette Puhich. The first and strangest concerns a little girl who is accompanied home for her safety by a Macy’s store elf, who then attempts in vain to get away once he realizes she thinks he’s a real elf. Next is another oddity, about two gay friends who decided to have sex for Christmas—only one is a man and the other a woman. It’s a lot less confusing if one disregards the entire notion of gender and orientational binary, which seems to be kind of the point. The third is a broadly— and more conventionally—comic sketch about two women dealing with an overbearing man’s insistence on showing off his massive and gaudy display of stolen baby Jesus figurines from crêche displays, which builds to an agreeably crazy finish. But the final piece, wherein two elderly friends in a nursing home celebrate what might be their last Christmas, is a wonderfully layered and paced bit of drama. It’s affecting, funny and closes the evening out on a high note—one in perfect harmony with the proverbial Christmas spirit. (Danny Bowes) Plan-B Theatre Company: Christmas With Misfits @ Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 801-355-2787, through Dec. 21, Thursday-Friday 8 p.m., Saturday 4 & 8 p.m., Sunday 2 p.m., $20. ArtTix.org

All three of Utah’s Division I teams are in bowl games for the first time since 2011, with all three playing their games within 48 hours of each other. You’ll see more than enough of your family over Christmas to be sick of them. This is your time to watch football. Of the three Beehive State Division I football programs, Utah State (9-4) has the most wins over the past three seasons (29), and is currently the only school with back-to-back bowl wins. The Aggies will face off against University of Texas El Paso in the Gildan New Mexico Bowl at University Stadium in Albuquerque. Drive 9.5 hours or fly 1.5 hours to see it in person, or stay home and watch it on ESPN. The early line is USU, by 11.5. The early line for the Royal Purple Las Vegas Bowl is Utah by 5—no, seriously, that’s what it is. The University of Utah (8-4) will go up against Colorado State (10-2) on Dec. 20 at the Sam Boyd Stadium in Las Vegas. It’s a six-hour drive or a 1.5-hour flight, but you could just stay home and catch it on ABC. And after the No. 22 ranked Utah football team plays on UNLV’s football field, the No. 13 ranked Utah men’s basketball team plays UNLV that night at the MGM Grand Arena (9:30 p.m., ESPN2). BYU (8-4) will play Memphis (9-3), in the Miami Beach Bowl on Dec. 22 (early line: pick ’em). Tune in to ESPN for the game, or start now and road trip 36 hours (stay on Interstate 80 until you hit Nebraska) to Marlins Park in Miami, or fly 6.5 hours, including a layover. The BYU band will perform at the Last Blast Pep Rally, and the team is scheduled to attend the Commissioner’s Dinner, both of which are set for Dec. 21—a Sunday! (Geoff Griffin) Gildan New Mexico Bowl: Utah State University vs. UTEP, Dec. 20, 12:20 p.m., ESPN; Royal Purple Las Vegas Bowl: University of Utah vs. Colorado State, Dec. 20, 1:30 p.m., ABC; Miami Beach Bowl: BYU vs. Memphis, Dec. 22, noon, ESPN

When the internationally renowned Parsons Dance Company comes to Park City this week from New York City, it will bring eight dancers, three dances and one contemporary masterpiece: Caught. Premiered in 1982—four years before David Parsons founded his contemporary dance company—and now staged by companies around the world, the solo work is widely regarded as one of the most innovative pieces of modern dance. For six minutes, Caught seems to suspend the dancer in a gravity-defying mid-air performance, as a pulsing strobe light illuminates a series of 100 grand jetes around the stage, creating the illusion of flight. Athletic and powerful—words often used to describe Caught—are also applicable to Parsons Dance Company as a whole, and the three other pieces scheduled for this performance will not disappoint. Presenting some of the choreographer’s newest work, Whirlaway is an upbeat celebration of beauty, motion and music that feels like an impromptu party in a smoky bar on the bayou. Performed by the full company, Whirlaway is set to a mix of jazz and funk by celebrated jazz composer Allen Toussaint. Hymn is an intimate but also highly energetic duet by Trey McIntyre, a former Parsons Company dancer, with lots of Parsons flavor, including some stunning footwork more often seen in ballet than in modern dance. And, finally, Bachiana—a series of duets set to music by Bach—plays with the forms and formalities of court dance. In addition to the one-evening performance, Parsons Company members will be teaching an open master class. (Katherine Pioli) Parsons Dance Company @ Eccles Center, 1750 Kearns Blvd., Park City, 435-6553114, Dec. 20, 7:30 p.m., $20-69 general admission, discounts for seniors, children, Summit County students and teachers. EcclesCenter.org

Plan-B Theatre Company: Christmas With Misfits

College Football Bowl Games

Parsons Dance Company

A&E

GET OUT

Hitting the Wall Indoor climbing gyms offer a winter alternative to outdoor recreation. By Katherine Pioli comments@cityweekly.net

COURTESY PHOTO

Problem-solving: Climbing gyms Momentum (top) and The Front (bottom) provide full-body workouts year-round.

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Dec. 19th-27th

I watch my friend start in on a problem. I like to think that I introduced her to climbing, t wo years ago, when she moved to Salt Lake City and brief ly rented the extra room in my house. I’ve lapsed since our last climbing session; she’s improved. These days, I can only pretend to follow her conversations with climbing buddies—their talk full of slang, technical jargon and abbreviations—and I find myself asking her for advice when I can’t seem to make it past a certain part of a bouldering problem. Thirty minutes after we walk into the gym, I collapse into one of the plastic seats. On my last route, I’d managed to cling to the wall for maybe a total of two minutes, probably less, and made it to the top on my second attempt. My heart is pounding. I rub my forearms. The muscles are seizing. I put my hands together as if to pray and turn the fingertips toward my chest. It’s a nice stretch. I hope that I look as strong as the woman with the tattoos, but I know that I don’t. My New Year’s resolution starts to take shape. CW

Kingsbury Hall

Dec. 18th-22nd

Park City Film Series

Dec. 19th-21st

your source for art & entertainment tickets

DECEMBER 18, 2014 | 17

One chance

| CITY WEEKLY |

ReduxnutcRackeR

COURTESY PHOTO

is hazy from chalk dust. For people who appreciate outdoor recreation because of the solitude it offers, gym climbing in the winter can feel claustrophobic. But with recent abnormally warm winter temperatures, most climbers have been hitting the real rocks, leaving the gyms comfortably open. In front of me, a woman in a knit beanie warms up on an intermediate route. A little farther down the wall, another woman with tattoos flowering over her shoulders pulls herself up onto the roof of an overhang; each individual muscle on her back stands out like a knot of rope. She moves for the next hold. Her arms never shake. With a growl, a man hanging next to her tumbles to the mat. The loudspeakers thump a mix of dance club hip-hop and dubstep. After I’ve completed a few routes, it’s easy to see why so many people at the gym are sitting in chairs. While my strength lasts, climbing gives an unbelievable fullbody workout. I like to think of it as a more interesting way of completing a series of pull-ups. Of course, it takes tremendous leg and abdominal strength as well, plus an understanding of weight and counterbalance. And, unless you climb a lot, or super efficiently, it’s a workout with quick burnout.

| cityweekly.net |

half-dozen people are sitting in a line of plastic chairs, all facing a gray wall covered with red, yellow, blue, green and black knobs of distorted plastic. There isn’t much chatter. One woman thumbs through a magazine. I know that, in order to do what I’ve come for, I’ll have to step in front of this firing squad—but for the moment, I’m frozen in my tracks. I’ve always been intimidated at climbing gyms. Whatever I do, I’m sure that someone is watching, just waiting for me to grab the wrong hold. But I keep showing up, because climbing provides something that can’t be duplicated by any other sport. For one, it’s a truly individual sport; there’s just you and the wall. While other solo pursuits like trail running allow my mind to wander though a movie reel of thoughts, climbing focuses me down to one feeling, one motion, one thought: reaching for the next hold. I think climbing is the closest thing to enlightenment I’ll ever know. Salt Lake City attracts climbers, and makes climbers out of those who weren’t before. The granite in the Wasatch and the red rock in the desert provide endlessly irresistible lines, cracks and jugs. In the winter, climbers turn inward, literally, as Salt Lake City is also home to two state-of-the-art climbing gyms: The Front (1450 S. 400 West, 801-466-7625, FrontSLC. com), which specializes in bouldering, and Momentum (3173 E. 3300 South, 801-9062132, MomentumClimbing.com). During the winter months, especially after regular work hours, these gyms are as crowded as any downtown bar on a Saturday night. Wall space is tight. The air

| cityweekly.net |

| CITY WEEKLY |

18 | DECEMBER 18, 2014

moreESSENTIALS

Complete listings online @ cityweekly.net

FRIDAY 12.19

PERFORMING ARTS

The Sting & Honey Company: This Bird of Dawning Singeth All Night Long

The Nutcracker, Capitol Theatre The ReduxNut-Cracker, Kingsbury Hall Marry Christmas, Rose Wagner Center

Many arts companies have their holiday season traditions to appeal to audiences, from Nutcracker dances to Christmas Carol productions to Messiah sing-alongs. But one of the newer traditions turns back to one of the more ancient sources—the Nativity story itself—for a unique evening that combines theater, movement, poetry and music for a distinctively moving experience. This Bird of Dawning Singeth All Night Long—an original work by Javen Tanner—even predates the official creation of The Sting & Honey Company in 2010, but it has already become the company’s much-anticipated seasonal production. Employing performers in kabuki-style masks to act out the story of Jesus’ birth, Dawning also incorporates Nativity-themed poetry by writers from Shakespeare to Yeats, creating a dramatic and moving way to look at a tale you may already know by heart. (Scott Renshaw) The Sting & Honey Company: This Bird of Dawning Singeth All Night Long @ Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 801-355-2797, Dec. 19 & 20, Friday 7:30 p.m., Saturday 2 & 7:30 p.m., $12. ArtTix.org, StingAndHoney.org

THURSDAY 12.18

SATURDAY 12.20

PERFORMING ARTS

The Nutcracker, Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 200 South, Salt Lake City, 801-355-2787 Forgotten Carols, Cottonwood High School, 5715 S. 1300 East, Salt Lake City, 801-517-3305 The Nutcracker, Eastmont Middle School, 10100 S. 1300 East, Sandy, 801-572-6222 The ReduxNut-Cracker, Kingsbury Hall, 1575 E. Presidents Circle, 801-581-7100 I Am Comic: A Night of Stand Up, Movie Grille, 2293 Grant Ave., Ogden Peter & the Starcatcher, Pioneer Memorial Theatre, 300 S. 1400 East, Salt Lake City, 801581-6356 Christmas With Misfits, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, Salt Lake City, 801-355-2787 The Bee: True Stories from the Hive, The Urban Lounge, 241 S. 500 East, Salt Lake City, 801-386-3891 Ryan Hamilton, Wiseguys West Valley, 2194 West 3500 South, Salt Lake City, 801-463-2909

The Nutcracker, Capitol Theatre Forgotten Carols, Cottonwood High School The Nutcracker, Eastmont Middle School Parsons Dance Company, Eccles Center for the Performing Arts, 1750 Kearns Blvd., Park City, 435-655-3114 The ReduxNut-Cracker, Kingsbury Hall Handel’s Messiah, Libby Gardner Hall, 1575 E. Presidents Circle, 801-581-7100 X-mas Men, Off Broadway Theatre Peter & the Starcatcher, Pioneer Theatre The Improvables, Playbills Theater, 455 W. 1700 South, Clearfield Christmas With Misfits, Rose Wagner Center Marry Christmas, Rose Wagner Center This Bird of Dawning Singeth All Night Long, Rose Wagner Center A Year With Frog & Toad, Salt Lake Acting Company Brian Moote, Wiseguys Downtown Shawn Paulsen, Wiseguys Ogden Ryan Hamilton, Wiseguys West Valley

FRIDAY 12.19 PERFORMING ARTS The Nutcracker, Capitol Theatre Forgotten Carols, Cottonwood High School The Nutcracker, Eastmont Middle School The ReduxNut-Cracker, Kingsbury Hall Laughing Stock Improv Comedy, Off Broadway Theatre, 272 S. Main, Salt Lake City, 801-355-4628 X-mas Men, Off Broadway Theatre Peter & the Starcatcher, Pioneer Theatre Christmas With Misfits, Rose Wagner Center This Bird of Dawning Singeth All Night Long, Rose Wagner Center A Year With Frog & Toad, Salt Lake Acting Company, 168 W. 500 North, Salt Lake City, 801-363-7522 Brian Moote, Wiseguys Downtown, 50 W. 300 South, Suite 100, Salt Lake City, 801-532-5233 Shawn Paulsen, Wiseguys Ogden, 269 25th St, Ogden, 801-622-5588, 8 p.m. Ryan Hamilton, Wiseguys West Valley Off the Wall Improv, The Ziegfeld Theater, 3934 Washington Blvd., Ogden, 855-944-2787

TUESDAY 12.23

LITERARY ARTS How the Grinch Stole Christmas Storytime, The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, Salt Lake City, 801-484-9100

SUNDAY 12.21 PERFORMING ARTS The Nutcracker, Capitol Theatre Christmas With Misfits, Rose Wagner Center Marry Christmas, Rose Wagner Center A Year With Frog & Toad, Salt Lake Acting Company

MONDAY 12.22 PERFORMING ARTS The Nutcracker, Capitol Theatre The Nutcracker, Eastmont Middle School The ReduxNut-Cracker, Kingsbury Hall X-mas Men, Off Broadway Theatre Marry Christmas, Rose Wagner Center A Year With Frog & Toad, Salt Lake Acting Company

WEDNESDAY 12.24 PERFORMING ARTS The Nutcracker, Capitol Theatre Kurt Bestor’s Christmas Spectacular, Egyptian Theatre, 328 Main, Park City, 435-649-9371

LITERARY ARTS

Lit Knit, Weller Book Works, 665 E. 600 South, Salt Lake City, 801-328-2586

VISUAL ART CONTINUING 12.18-12.24 Bikuben, Utah Museum of Contemporary Art, 20 S. West Temple, Salt Lake City, 801-3284201, Tuesdays-Saturdays through Dec. 20 Spring City Ladies, David Ericson Fine Art, 418 S. 200 West, 801-533-8245, through Dec. 23 Laleh Ghotbi: Painting What I Love, Salt Lake City Library Corinne & Jack Sweet branch, 455 F St., Salt Lake City, 801-594-8651, MondaysSaturdays though Dec. 27 Dia de los Muertos, Salt Lake City Library Chapman branch, 577 S. 900 West, Salt Lake City, 801-594-8623, Mondays-Saturdays though Dec. 30 Keith Carlsen, The Dahlia Room, 247 E. 300 South, 801-953-0088, Tuesdays-Saturdays through Dec. 31 Enrique Vera: Landscapes of Northern

Mexico, Mestizo Institute of Culture & Arts, 631 W. North Temple Suite 700, Salt Lake City, 801596-0500, through Jan. 2 The Horse, Natural History Museum of Utah, 301 Wakara Way, Salt Lake City, Through Jan. 4 Christo and Jeanne-Claude: The Tom Golden Collection, Kimball Art Center, 638 Park Ave., Park City, 435-649-8882, through Jan. 4 Escape from Reality, Slusser Gallery, 447 E. 100 South, Salt Lake City, Mondays-Fridays through Jan. 9 Feminine Archetypes Around the World and Through the Ages, Salt Lake City Library Sprague branch, 2131 S. 100 East, Salt Lake City, 801-594-8640, Mondays-Sundays though Jan. 9 Statewide Annual ’14: Painting & Sculpture, Rio Gallery, 300 S. Rio Grande St., Salt Lake City, 801.245.7272, Mondays-Fridays through Jan. 9 William Lamson: Hydrologies, Utah Museum of Contemporary Art, 20 S. West Temple, Salt Lake City, 801-328-4201, Tuesdays-Saturdays through Jan. 10 Benjamin Cottam: Canyon Drawings, CUAC, 175 E. 200 South, 385-215-6768, WednesdaysSaturdays through Jan. 10 Jenny Morgan: Full Circle, CUAC, WednesdaysSaturdays through Jan. 10 New Narratives: Recent Work by U of U Art Faculty, Utah Museum of Fine Arts, 410 Campus Center Drive, Salt Lake City, 801-581-7332, Tuesdays-Sundays through Jan. 11 Stanley Natchez, Modern West Fine Art, 177 E. 200 South, 801-355-3383, Tuesdays-Saturdays through Jan. 12 Kent Budge: Natural Order, Alice Gallery, 617 E. South Temple, Salt Lake City, 801-245-7272, Mondays-Fridays through Jan. 16

Log Haven at 20 The magical log mansion restaurant celebrates its platinum anniversary.

DINE pepper nix wedding photojournalist

LOG HAVEN

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by Ted Scheffler comments@cityweekly.net @critic1

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assets, including her retirement savings. She was financially out on a Log Haven limb. â&#x20AC;&#x153;There are easier paths you can travel than opening a restaurant,â&#x20AC;? longtime friend Deedee Corradini counseled Provost in 1994, adding, â&#x20AC;&#x153;You are crazy!â&#x20AC;? Obviously, things have turned out pretty well, despite some early struggles. Provost credits much of her restaurantâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s success to the core team sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s assembled around Quality time: Margo Provostâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Log Haven achieves her. Chef Dave Jones has been in the 20 years of amazing ambiance and cuisine kitchen pretty much from the start, with just a brief hiatus a few years back when â&#x20AC;&#x153;I just got burned out cooking,â&#x20AC;? When I asked Jones to comment on the he says. General manager Ian Campbell Utah dining scene over the past 20 years, has run the front of the house for 18 years, he served up that iconic Dave Jones laugh and Faith Scheffler has been booking and thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s so well known to his friends and running weddingsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;some 150 or 200 per colleagues, and says, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Yeah, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve seen it go yearâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;for 17 years. Add to that a number from zero to 60 in 20 years!â&#x20AC;? Back then, he of long-tenured servers, and youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got a couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t even find something like mesclun recipe for stability and consistency. greens here. Even with the glorious surroundings Provost tends to speak of Log Haven and ambiance Log Haven offersâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;cascading in spiritual terms. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Nature, nurture, waterfalls, mountain views, lush greenery, nourishâ&#x20AC;? is her mantra and, although a fish-stocked pondâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;people come she owns the restaurant, she considers primarily for the food. Jones says that herself as â&#x20AC;&#x153;a steward of this islandâ&#x20AC;? while Log Haven might never be known for that is Log Haven. She has lived on the cutting-edge cuisine, he prides himself in Log Haven property for 20 yearsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;first the â&#x20AC;&#x153;diversityâ&#x20AC;? it offers. One of the most in a motorhome during demolition and difficult aspects of cooking at Log Haven is construction, and then in a small house having to meet the needs of large wedding located on â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Meadowâ&#x20AC;? across the parties and special eventsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;which usually street from Log Haven, where weddings means big buffetsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;alongside an upscale Ă take place regularly on her front lawn. la carte menu for individual diners. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a You probably havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t read about Log hard thing to balance,â&#x20AC;? Jones says. Havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 20th anniversary elsewhere, In perusing menus and reviews written because there were no press releases back in 1994-95, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m struck by how timeless announcing the occasion, no special Jonesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; cooking seems to be. Somehow, while â&#x20AC;&#x153;throwback menusâ&#x20AC;? or celebrations. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s growing and evolving in the kitchen, heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s likely because Provost simply didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want eschewed most of the trends and fads that to toot her own horn. Or, maybe sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just so quickly come and go. Dishes from 1995â&#x20AC;&#x201D; too busy feeding bellies and souls to take like smoked duck breast with barley risotto, time out for self-serving congratulations. apples and wilted frisĂŠe or coriander-rubbed So, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll do it for her: Congratulations to Hawaiian sashimi-style tuna with lemon- Log Haven and its staff on reaching a real guava sauce and soy-ginger glazeâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;would milestoneâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;20 years of nature, nurture be as at home on todayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Log Haven menu and nourishment. CW as they were back then. Those dishes donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t seem so different in spirit from the current Log Haven menuâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s seared scallops with brown butter, 6451 E. Millcreek Canyon Road hazelnut risotto, mascarpone and mushroom 801-272-8255 consommĂŠ, although Jones says that through the years heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;simplifiedâ&#x20AC;? his cooking, Log-Haven.com leaning toward less complicated dishes.

| cityweekly.net |

s we march into the teeth of the winter holiday season, it seems only appropriate that we should turn our attention to Log Haven restaurant. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the perfect setting for a holiday dinner or celebrationâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;if you can score a table this time of year, that is. The restaurant is decked out with fresh evergreen, Christmas lights, wreaths, a beautifully decorated tree, carolers and live jazz piano in the evening; you can probably count on hearing the Charlie Brown Christmas theme while you sup. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a magical time of year to enjoy a magical Utah landmark. Of course, I may be biased. My wife is Faith Scheffler, and she coordinates weddings and other special events at Log Haven. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s why you havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t seen a review of the restaurant from me since we met and married. Still, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s an important Utah institution, and it is newsworthy and noteworthy when any restaurant celebrates a 20th anniversary, as Log Haven did this November. If you havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t heard the Log Haven story, the script is one suitable for Hollywoodâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; full of intrigue, romance, murder, ghosts (yes, ghosts!), passion, failure, rebirth and more. Here is the brief Cliff Notes account: The building itself, a log mansion, was built in 1920 as an anniversary gift from steel magnate L.F. Rains to his wife. In 1958, the mansion was converted into a restaurant that became a much sought-after venue for weddings and famous for its Sunday Hunt Brunch. However, in the early â&#x20AC;&#x2122;90s, the restaurant fell into disrepair and was slated for demolition. Oh, and did I mention the double murder that took place in the (then)Log Haven driveway? That may or may not have anything to do with the ghosts many people have reported encountering at Log Haven through the years. Log Haven owner Margo Provost spent the earliest part of her life in an orphanage, but her path ultimately led her to Millcreek Canyon and the nurturing space that is Log Haven. The road wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t easy, however. â&#x20AC;&#x153;When I purchased Log Haven, I really wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t buying a restaurant ... I was imagining a different life,â&#x20AC;? Provost says. She had risen through the ranks of corporate America, but was unsatisfied. So, she and her then-husband secured loans to buy, gut and refurbish the restaurant, as well as max out her credit cards and liquidate

| cityweekly.net |

| CITY WEEKLY |

20 | DECEMBER 18, 2014

FOOD MATTERS by TED SCHEFFLER @critic1 beer Âˇ wine Âˇ sake

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Busy Body

No one on the Salt Lake City food scene has been busier than Scott Evans of late. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the owner of Pago restaurant, as well as the relocated Finca, which reopened this month after moving downtown to 327 W. 200 South. According to Evans, the original Finca property will reopen in early 2015 as the Hub & Spoke Eatery, a â&#x20AC;&#x153;modern dinerâ&#x20AC;?â&#x20AC;&#x201D;a â&#x20AC;&#x153;reinterpretation of the traditional seven-day-a-week breakfast-through-dinner restaurant.â&#x20AC;? And, this past weekend, Evans opened his new East Liberty Tap House (850 E. 900 South, EastLibertyTapHouse. com). Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a nice mix of modern and vintage, a neighborhood hangout with a well-curated craft beer selection and classic bar food sourced from local purveyors, open seven days a week from noon to midnight.

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Steinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Gingerbread Freezes Over

Each holiday season for the past 13 years, the folks at Deer Valleyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Stein Eriksen Lodge (7700 Stein Way, Park City, 435649-3700, SteinLodge.com) have created stunning, massive gingerbread masterpieces for display in Steinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s main lobby. This year, Stein features an elaborate gingerbread scene from the movie Frozen: a display of Anna and Elsaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Arendelle castle in its frozen state. The sculpture sits in Steinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s main lodge adjacent to a towering 32-foot, lavishly decorated Christmas tree. From a framework designed by General Manager Dan Bullert and under the supervision of Executive Pastry Chef Ann Giles, it took more than a monthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s worth of planning and prep work, plus a staff of 10 people to construct the frozen world of Arendelle. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s made of more than 400 pounds of gingerbread, 250 pounds of sugar and 30 pounds of fondant.

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Chocolate Love

During the holidays, local artisanal jams, marmalades and jellies from A mour Spreads (A mourSpreads. com) are much sought after. Well, if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re looking for a really unique gift, Amour Spreads has introduced its own seasonal chocolate bar, made with tangelo marmalade and the help of local artisan chocolatier Rebecca Millican. Citrus plus chocolate: What could be a better match for the holidays? Quote of the week: Nothing helps scenery like ham and eggs. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Mark Twain Food Matters 411: teds@xmission.com

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REVIEW BITES

A sampler of Ted Schefflerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s reviews

Bruges Waffles & Frites

A Chill Place for All Things Tea

Loose Leaf, Boba Tea, Handmade Italian Desserts and more...

The Bruges Sugar House location is a couple of years old and features its biggest menu and selection. Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll find well-known items like Belgian-style fries with a multitude of saucing options, heavenly LiĂ¨ge waffles and the popular Machine Gun sandwich, as featured on the Travel Channelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Man V. Food. But there is so much more, like waffle sandwiches made with toasted waffles where youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d normally expect to find bread. Even more interesting, in my opinion, are the unique omelets. The Averell omelet, for instance, is eggs with Brie, ham, roasted bell peppers, caramelized onions, portobellos and a choice of either one â&#x20AC;&#x153;freakandelâ&#x20AC;? or two merquez sausages. The â&#x20AC;&#x153;freakandelâ&#x20AC;? is a play on frikandel, a Belgian and Dutch deep-fried, skinless, chicken-pork-beef sausage. My ultimate wish is that someday owner Pierre Vandamme will open a fullblown Belgian restaurant serving dishes like waterzooi, tarte au riz, filet AmĂŠricain, lapin ĂĄ la gueuze and moulesfrites. But for now, Bruges Waffles & Frites serves my Belgian cravings admirably. Reviewed Dec. 11. 2314 S. Highland Drive, Salt Lake City, 801-486-9999, BrugesWaffles.com

Kimiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Chop & Oyster House

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| cityweekly.net |

929 E. 4500 S. 801.590.8247

Kimiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s is certainly a fine-dining restaurant, one with warm hospitality and friendly charm. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s also a feast for the eyes, featuring a modern bar with an LED â&#x20AC;&#x153;fireplaceâ&#x20AC;? that pulls the eye to the center of the restaurant. The bar would be a terrific place to enjoy a signature cocktail and nosh on fresh oysters on the half-shell, baked mussels with herb butter, or a plate of toast smogen, a Swedish crostini-type affair with shrimp, crab, dill, horseradish crĂ¨me, fresh lemon and caviar. The cashew-crusted sea bass is a delicious dish, and the sliced bavette steak, served with a rich port reduction, asparagus, roasted garlic and (by request) pommes frites was tender and tasty, if predictable. Not so predictable were the frites, which were big, thick wedges of the sort I normally loathe. However, Chef Matt Anderson cooked these spud slices to perfection, somehow managing to make them crisp on the outside, but not mealy or undercooked inside. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the first wedge fry Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve ever loved. Reviewed Dec. 11. 2155 S. Highland Drive, Salt Lake City, 801-946-2079, KimisHouse.com

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DECEMBER 18, 2014 | 21

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with purchase of a full sandwich

| CITY WEEKLY |

complimentary side & drink

(801) 355.2146

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| CITY WEEKLY |

22 | DECEMBER 18, 2014

Gift Certificates Available

REVIEW BITES

A sampler of Ted Schefflerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s reviews

A Unique Argentine Dish in Utah

Even Stevens Sandwiches

Karen Olson, formerly of The Metropolitan (one of my favorite restaurants of recent years), has always been keen on making her community better, and with her latest restaurant venture, Even Stevens Sandwiches, sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s helping to feed those in need. For every sandwich sold at Even Stevens, another is donated to local nonprofits helping to end hunger. The Sloppy Tina is a spot-on vegetarian version of a sloppy Joe, made with mushroom and chickpeas in a zippy tomato-based sauce. There is also a meat loverâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sloppy Joe, a slow-simmered combo of beef and chorizo topped with pickled red onions and served on a Kaiser roll. The holidays are an especially fitting time to call attention to the work that Even Stevens is doing, as itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a time when many of us gorge ourselves on holiday fare, while others canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be sure where their next meal will come from. Maybe it will come from Even Stevens. Reviewed Nov. 27. 414 E. 200 South, Salt Lake City, 385-355-9105, EvenStevens.com

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2014

Harbor Seafood & Steak Co.

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At Harbor, every effort is made to use local, in-season ingredients, and to fly in the freshest seafood. So, at a recent dinner, we started the evening with stuffed, battered and fried squash blossoms that came from the restaurantâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s garden. An equally outstanding appetizerâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; although the portion size might cause you to think itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s an entreeâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;is tuna carpaccio, which featured a big slab of sushi-grade tuna, sliced to about 1/8-inch thickness so that it covered the entire dinner plate it was served upon. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s drizzled with a light citrus vinaigrette, and topped with an edible garnish of avocado, citrus salad and candied wasabi. The service at Harbor is also excellent. It wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t until weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d gotten through part of our meal that we discovered our server was none other than co-owner Taylor Jacobsen. Both owners pitch in and work the floor, and in doing so, he can afford to pay the others servers better. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just another reason to dock yourself at Harbor. Reviewed Nov. 13. 2302 Parleyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Way, Salt Lake City, 801-466-9527, HarborSLC.com

2005

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VOTED BEST COFFEE HOUSE

Holiday

LOVE

Toshâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Ramen

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Toshâ&#x20AC;? is chef/owner Toshio Sekikawa, whose name you know if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re a fan of Asian cuisine in Utah. Tosh is a wonderfully outgoing and generous guy, and Toshâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Ramen suits his personality. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a simple ramen shopâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; minimalist in dĂŠcor and accoutrementsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;because the laser-like focus here is on one thing and one thing only: ramen. Like pho, ramen is really all about the broth. And, of course, Tosh makes his from scratch, simmering bones overnight. There are five types of ramen to choose from at Toshâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, and my favorite is the one that best showcases that glistening, delicious broth: tonkotsu ramen. The broth is nearly clear, served in a huge ramen bowl with a generous helping of excellent wheat & egg noodles from

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A sampler of Ted Scheffler’s reviews Los Angeles’ Sun Noodle company. The ramen is adorned with crunchy bean sprouts, thin-sliced pork belly, half a hard-cooked egg, and minced scallions. Tosh’s is usually filled with people who aren’t ramen rookies, and you’ll want to take their lead and get your face down into that big bowl: Slurping is considered de rigueur. Reviewed Nov. 6. 1465 S. State, Salt Lake City, 801-4667000, ToshsRamen.com

Sole Mio Ristorante

If you’re in the mood for hearty Sicilian fare, in a place where Grandma is in the kitchen and the grandkids are waiting on tables, Sole Mio is for you. You won’t go home hungry or ruin your budget here; the most expensive menu item tops out at $17.95—and that’s for bistecca alla campagnola, a grilled New York steak on an arugula bed, topped with shaved Parmesan and balsamic vinegar, with veggies on the side. The pastas are so generously portioned that I recommend sharing them. We especially enjoyed the ravioli spinaci: a plate of 10 or so large housemade ravioli stuffed with a puree of ricotta, spinach and Parmesan, served in a silky, rich tomatocream sauce. I could barely put a dent in my piled-high plate of spaghetti alla carbonara, made with pancetta, eggs, Parmesan and cream. But when your server asks if you’ve saved room for dessert, answer with a resounding “Yes!” and order the incomparable housemade tiramisu. Reviewed Oct. 16. 8657 S. Highland Drive, Sandy, 801-942-2623

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REVIEW BITES

CHINESE SEAFOOD | SUSHI | MONGOLIAN

L U N C H B U F F E T U D I N N E R B U F F E T U S U N D AY A L L D AY B U F F E T T E L : 8 0 1 . 9 6 9 . 6 6 6 6 | 5 6 6 8 S R E D W O O D R D TAY L O R S V I L L E , U T

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KING BUFFET

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NOW O PEN

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A PERUVIAN TASTE FOR THE WORLD! Lo

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Live Music

Fri & Sat Nights

GOODEATS Complete listings at cityweekly.net Featuring dining destinations from buffets and rooms with a view to mom & pop joints, chic cuisine and some of our dining critic’s faves! Beyond Glaze

8475 S. State Street 801-566-0901 Mon-Thu 11am-9pm | Fri & Sat 11am-midnight | Sun 11am-7pm

The founders of this small Draper donut shop—which has now expanded to Sugar House and Ogden—used to make wedding cakes. They now translate that same attention to detail into these delicious, fancy donuts. Beyond Glaze donuts are basically intricate icings and toppings on top of classic glazed donuts, but the flavors are terrific. Try the maple-bacon donut, sprinkled with real chunks of bacon; the caramelapple donut; or the Key lime crumble, which has crushed graham cracker on top. Multiple locations, BeyondGlaze.com

The Copper Bowl

FEASTS WORTHY OF GREEK GODS WE OFFER CATERING DELIVERY AVAILABLE

SEE MANAGER FOR DETAILS

$3 OFF YOUR NEXT APP ORDER TEXT GYRO TO 33733 MUST BE OVER $15. THRU MOBILE APP.

The Copper Bowl serves up traditional Indian food with local flavor and seasonal ingredients, all laid out on copper serving pans. Start with the surf & turf, which includes lamb boti kebab and tiger shrimp cooked in a tandoor oven. For the main course, you can venture beyond the normal picks into southern Indian dishes, such as the Frankie, which includes your choice of paneer or chicken wrapped with spiced chutney, egg and roti. There are also plenty of vegetarian options, ensuring that no one will feel left out. If there’s room for dessert, there are a variety of delicacies to choose from. 214 W. 600 South, Salt Lake City, 801-532- 2322, Copper-Bowl.com

Maxwell’s East Coast Eatery

The handsome, dark-wood bar that stretches through Maxwell’s was hand-built with the help of the staff you see diligently serving the clientele. It’s clear they take pride in the bar, and while they serve the delicious Fat Kid pizza that founder Steven Maxwell built his reputation on, this high-volume bar & restaurant has worked just as hard to develop its own atmosphere— according to one manager, 75 percent of the clientele are regulars who come in several times a week. Enough said. 1456 Newpark Blvd., Park City, 435-6470304; 357 S. Main, Salt Lake City, 801-3280304, MaxwellsECE.com

Wasatch Brew Pub

As Utah’s first brewery after the days of Prohibition, Wasatch Brew Pub should be part of any visit to Park City. Taste Wasatch’s hand-crafted brews such as Polygamy Porter, 1st Amendment Lager and Evolution Amber Ale, or take advantage of the full liquor service. The menu features pub favorites such as ale-battered fish & chips, mac & cheese, tacos and coconut shrimp. Wasatch also serves weekend brunch with menu items from Greek yogurt parfaits to fried chicken and Wasatch waffles. 250 Main, Park City, 435-649-0900; 2110 S. Highland Drive, Salt Lake City, 801-7831127, WasatchBeers.com

Bandits’ American Grill

Bandits’ American Grill in Cottonwood Heights has something for everyone, with signature entrees like the tender, smoky tri-tip steak and the slow-roasted baby back ribs. Bandits also has a full bar with many draft beers to choose from, including local favorites from Wasatch, Squatters and Moab Brewery, as well as a wide variety of wine and liquor if beer isn’t your style. 3176 E. 6200 South, Cottonwood Heights, 801-944-0505, BanditsBBQ.com

Tickles

Located in Murray, Tickles serves great-tasting Greek and American food. Servers are more than welcoming and can work with any dietary needs. Specialties of the house include kebabs, gyros, lemon chicken, souvlaki, zucchini fries and a yummy turkey & avocado sandwich. If you’re hungry, be sure to try the popular Elmo platter. 3872 S. 900 East, Salt Lake City, 801-264-8100

Asian Star

At Asian Star, diners are invited to sample the diverse cuisines of China with flavors hailing from the Sichuan, Cantonese, Hunan and Mandarin provinces. Specials include honey-nectar pork, Mandarin-style sirloin beef and sizzling garlic royal shrimp. Another tasty option is the steamed whole fish of the day or sea bass. Good luck deciding among the many delicious entrees. 7588 S. Union Park Ave., Midvale, 801-566-8838, AsianStarRestaurant.com

1/2 OFF APPETIZERS Everyday 5-7pm why limit happy to an hour?

ONE PER CUSTOMER. NOT VALID @ AIRPORT LOCATION

(Appetizer & Dine-in only / Sugarhouse location only)

DOWNTOWN

AIRPORT

404 E 300 S

Delta Terminal 2

MURRAY

5692 S 900 E 801-266-3336

801-322-2062

SO. JORDAN

1067 W. So. Jordan Pkwy

WEST VALLEY 2192 W 3500 S 801-973-4976

801-849-0653

greeksouvlaki.com

LEHI

*Now Open 2975 Clubhouse Drive 801-768-9090

1405 E 2100 S SUGARHOUSE ❖ 801.906.0908 ❖ PATIO SEATING AVAILABLE LUNCH BUFFET: TUE-SUN 11-3PM ❖ DINNER: M-TH 5-9:30PM / F-S 5-10PM / SUN 5-9PM

GOODEATS Complete listings at cityweekly.net Chunga’s

The tacos al pastor are the main event at Chunga’s, and for good reason. Pork, pineapple and some greenery make for a very satisfying, non-greasy meal. All kinds of fun ingredients dot the menu, including cactus and Mexican sausage. If you want something a little more authentic, try the alambre, a dish that’s a bunch of normal Mexican ingredients mixed together in a tasty mess. Cool the spiciness off with a papaya shake. Chunga’s is open late, until 11 p.m. on weekends. 180 S. 900 West, Salt Lake City, 801-953-1840, ChungasMexican.com

Plum Restaurant

Located off the garden atrium at the downtown Embassy Suites, Plum Restaurant offers traditional dishes for lunch and dinner. The restaurant’s open, casual atmosphere is inviting, whether you’re having a light lunch or dinner with friends. Enjoy menu favorites ranging from colorful salads and sandwiches to steak and chops. Mustard-grilled chicken, French onion soup, coconut shrimp, crab cakes and lobster mac & cheese are among the favorites here. 110 W. 600 South, Salt Lake City, 801-359-7800

Caruso’s Deli

The folks at Lunaberry are dedicated to the art of “groovy yogurt and crepes,” which probably tells you all you need to know. Everything served at Lunaberry is all natural—no canned fruits or veggies. The nonfat, all-natural yogurt is made from scratch, just the way you like it. Even the smoothies are

If you’re looking for a spacious, caffeinated and quiet setting, look no further than Salt Lake’s Coffee Connection. This more-than-a-coffee-shop offers a variety of concoctions, from espresso drinks to bubble teas and health-conscious beverages. While you’re there, kick back in one of the spacious areas: the Lounge, Study Hall or Lobby. For something to snack on, Coffee Connection offers a variety of baked goods like muffins, bagels and cookies. 1588 S. State, Salt Lake City, 801-467- 4937, SaltLakeCoffeeConnection.com

Arbat

Arbat is a grocery store and bakery specializing in Russian and European foodstuffs that doubles as a spacious center with reception, banquet and catering facilities. Arbat offers a wide selection of items including pirogki, caviar, sturgeon, kebabs, kufta, khachapuri and much more. The bakery features items such as wedding cakes, European sweets and a variety of breads, including lavash. 375 E. 3300 South, Salt Lake City, 801-467-5511, ArbatLLC.com

A Lo c Favo al rite For 1 8 Year s!

7903 S. Airport Rood (4400 West) 801-566-4855 | WWW.RILEYSSANDWICHES.COM GIFT CERTIFICATES AVAILABLE

r n u o or ocatio 14! f tch ity L er 20 a W k C ecemb

Taste Freshness!

Parming D Co

Cafe Terigo

For 25 years, Cafe Terigo has been providing both Park City locals and visitors with hearty cuisine inspired by northern Italy and the south of France. Among the specialties from owner/chef Ed Axtell’s kitchen are entrees such as pan-seared scallops with sweet-corn risotto, almond-crusted salmon with lime butter, pan-roasted pork tenderloin over creamy Gorgonzola polenta and grilled flat-iron steak. The wine list features some great selections from Italy, as well as a lot of domestic offerings. 424 Main, Park City, 435-645-9555, CafeTerigo.com

310 BUGATTI DRIVE 300 W 2100 S, South Salt Lake

801.467.2890 s sun - thu 11-8pm s fri & sat 11-10pm

JOIN US FOR OUR:

New Years Eve Dinner FEATURING A SPECIAL PAIRING MENU

ALONG WITH OUR:

Lunaberry

Coffee Connection

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This Italian-style deli serves a mean Caruso club and, true to Italian roots, a club sandwich known as The Godfather. All specialty sandwiches and melts are served on fresh, local bread from Stoneground Bakery. Daily soup and potato and pasta salad specials are also popular. With friendly service and a variety of delicious clubs, this hidden gem is worth finding. 1305 W. 2100 South, 801-972-3391

made with fresh, wholesome fruit with no artificial colors, corn syrup, additives or preservatives. 358 S. 700 East, Salt Lake City, 801-359-0427, Lunaberry.com

STARTING AT 11:00AM

ALSO IN THE MONTH OF DECEMBER, WE WILL RELEASE OLD VINTAGES OF SOME OF THE BEST BEERS BREWERS IN UTAH HAVE EVER MADE. MORE DETAILS TO COME.

376 8TH AVE, STE. C, SALT LAKE CITY, UT 385.227.8628 | AVENUESPROPER.COM

NOW SERVING DINNER 801-410-4046 3364 s 2300 e, slc slcprovisions.com

DECEMBER 18, 2014 | 25

THE 2012 SQUATTERS 529, OUD BRUIN THE 2013 EPIC ELDER BRETT SAISON THE 2013 REVE TRIPEL THE SWITCH II SOUR RED ALE

an american craft kitchen

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New Years day brunch

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GOODEATS Complete listings at cityweekly.net Restaurant Morelia

This family-owned Mexican eatery was founded in Murray in 1989, so its customers must be happy. Named for the lovely Mexican colonial city in Michoacan, Morelia specializes in dishes like chalupas, chilaquiles, chimichangas, fish tacos, fajitas and the popular super burrito. There’s Mexican and domestic beer available, as well as a small wine list and thirst-quenching pina coladas, margaritas and daiquiris. And if you’re abandoning your diet, try the Kahlua and cream. 6098 S. State, Murray, 801-265-8790

Brick Oven

Deep-dish and regular brick-oven pizzas and housemade root beer are a perfect match in this family-friendly environment. For years, Brick Oven has offered tasty pizza and Italian options like calzones and heaping portions of pasta. Friendly servers whisk out the food, while the occasional balloon artist entertains, setting up for the final round of fresh, warm brownies slathered in ice cream, whipped cream and caramel. There is also a glutenfree crust option, so everyone can enjoy. Multiple locations, BrickOvenRestaurants.com

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the HAM & SWISS

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Open 24 Hours Friday & Saturday 801-484-2771

H OL I DAY t Gif ates tific for r e C able il ys ava olida H the

TAMALES 4160 Emigration Canyon Road Salt Lake City, UT 84108

801.582.5807 ruthsdiner.com

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Spanish Restaurant- Mediterranean Cuisine For Dinner Reservations • 801-273-0837 Catering & Special Events: mycafemadrid@gmail.com 5244 S. Highland Dr. | www.cafemadrid.net Dinner 5:00pm to close monday-saturday

Breakfast & Lunch 7:00am to 3:00 pm monday-saturday

WE CATER!

e d i u

| New Year’s eve guide |

| cityweekly.net |

aying goodbye is one of the hardest things people have to do—except, for some reason, where years are concerned. As much as we may resist change and transition in all other parts of our lives, we’re always ready with the eternal optimism that, no matter what the departing annum may have brought, the one that’s on the way can be better. And boy, are we keen on partying to show just how ready we are for time’s great odometer to click over. Once again, City Weekly wants to help you with figuring out just where and how to fire up that optimistic celebratory “Happy New Year” spirit. Our hour-by-hour countdown will help you figure out just where you should be, whether you’re planning to head downtown for EVE Winter Fest events, hit local restaurants for special New Year’s Eve fare, or stick closer to home and ring in 2015 with friends and family. If you’re keen on knowing what your favorite watering hole or nightclub has planned for the big night, we can hook you up there as well. So maybe there’s one other thing you can be excited about saying goodbye to: not knowing where to turn to help plan your New Year’s Eve.

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Party E N Y Planner

By Bill Frost, Rachel Piper, Scott Renshaw, Ted Scheffler, Kolbie Stonehocker & Colin Wolf

he clock is ticking down toward midnight, with so many questions still unanswered: Where can we have dinner? What cocktails can I serve my party guests? When do the liquor stores close? What’s going on downtown? How late can I catch Trax back home? Take a breath. You may be watching the clock tick closer to 2015, but we’re also watching the clock for you. Here’s our hourby-hour guide to how you might spend your Dec. 31—and beyond—ringing in 2015.

6:30 a.m. Food It’s going to be a busy day and night, so set your alarm to grab an early table for the Garden Cafe at the Grand America’s New Year’s Eve Breakfast Buffet. If you’d rather sleep in a bit, no worries: The buffet runs until 10 a.m. and is $20 for adults; $10 for those 5 through 12. 555 S. Main, SLC, 801258-6708, GrandAmerica.com

8 a.m. Staying home To celebrate 20 years of Twilight Zone marathons, Syfy is airing a (surprise!) Twilight Zone marathon that spans New Year’s Eve into New Year’s Day,

with favorite episodes such as “Nightmare at 20,000 Feet,” “To Serve Man,” “Time Enough at Last” and “Eye of the Beholder,” as well as a few you haven’t seen 200 times since childhood.

with EVE Winter Fest three-day pass. 239 S. Main, SLC, 801-536-6110, noon-11 p.m., EVE.com

12 p.m.

Staying home Don’t panic. You

Low-key Revelry As part of EVE’s Winter Fest, the Salt Lake Film Society’s Broadway Centre Cinemas offers all-day shows of some of the classic works of American silent cinema. Drop in for familyfriendly Charlie Chaplin shorts, and finish off the old year with comedy that’s had audiences laughing for a century. 111 E. 300 South, SLC, 801-321-0310, EVE.com

1 p.m. Low-key Revelry There’s something wonderfully retro about spending a winter’s day skating on an outdoor rink. Bring that special someone for a little invigorating activity at The Gallivan Center leading up to your midnight revelry. Admission and skate rental is half-price ($4)

1:45 p.m. forgot to order caviar for your New Year’s Eve nosh, but Liberty Heights Fresh has

you covered. Drop by as you’re running afternoon errands and pick up sustainable and organically raised Almas Ara caviar from Spain, made from sturgeon that has been reintroduced to the cool, clean waters of Granada. 1290 S. 1100 East, SLC, 801-5837374, LibertyHeightsFresh.com

1:45 p.m.

Stop by Liberty Heights Fresh for your caviar

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5:15 p.m.

8 p.m.

The Legends dance party (featuring Crystal Method and more) begins at The Great Saltair

Chapman Baehler

Chairlifts start loading for Alta’s torchlight parade

3 p.m. Staying home Before you plunk yourself onto the couch, drink in hand, and start marathoning TV until the new year arrives, you need to make sure you’ve got enough sustenance to last you till 2015. A huge bowl of ooey-gooey white pizza dip (recipe from the blog How Sweet It Is) is an ideal companion for the couch, chips, crackers and toasted bread, so head to the store now to grab your cheese-tastic ingredients. Once you’ve dodged the folks at the store grabbing bottles of Martinelli’s, here’s how to make it: First, cut a pint of grape tomatoes in half, scatter them on a cookie sheet, and top them with a sprinkle of salt and a drizzle of olive oil. Pop them in the oven at 400 degrees for about 20 minutes, until they look blistered and juicy. Next, in a bowl, mix 1 ½ blocks softened cream cheese with 7 ounces each of shredded provolone and mozzarella cheese and a ¼ cup grated Parmesan cheese (don’t skimp and get powdered—

not the same). Then add 4 cloves of minced garlic, 2 tablespoons chopped fresh thyme, ¼ cup chopped fresh basil, ½ tablespoon chopped fresh oregano and the roasted tomatoes to the cheese. Mix it up. Then put the entire mixture into an oven-safe bowl or baking dish, sprinkle a little more Parmesan and another ounce each of shredded mozzarella and provolone on top, and stick it in the oven. Bake for 25 to 30 minutes, until the top is brown and beautiful and you can’t stand it anymore.

4 p.m. Tips On New Year’s Eve, Salt Lake City’s liquor stores close much earlier than usual, at 5 p.m. Seasoned drinkers know they should be making that liquor-store run the day before, unless they feel like playing musical parking spots. So if you didn’t get that booze early, go now. You know damn well the lines will be out the door.

4:30 p.m. Low-key Revelry If you haven’t had your fill of Christmas carols and other holiday music, you can send the season out in grand fashion with Clark Planetarium’s Let It Snow show in the Hansen Dome Theatre. Laser lights and animation give a unique flash to familiar tunes by Frank Sinatra, Burl Ives and more, with a big finale by the TransSiberian Orchestra. Admission to the Planetarium and Dome Theatre shows is included with EVE Winter Fest three-day pass. 110 S. 400 West, SLC, 801456-7827, ClarkPlanetarium.org

Food If you’re imbibing on New Year’s Eve, you’ll want to be sure to eat beforehand. An early dinner at Faustina is just what the doctor ordered. Until 8 p.m., Faustina

7 p.m.

Big Easy’s Masquerade Ball kicks off at the Red Lion Hotel will serve a special four-course meal cooked by Chef Joe Kemp ($50 for dinner; $20 for optional wine pairings). NYE dinnermenu items include braised short ribs with butternut-squash ravioli; pan-seared scallops with polenta and citrus beurre blanc; lobster bisque; arugula and roasted-beet salad; herb-crusted Prime rib; pan-seared Arctic char and butter-poached lobster; porktenderloin roulade; and flourless chocolate torte with raspberry sauce and buttermilk gelato. 454 E. 300 South, SLC, 801-746-4441, FaustinaSLC.com

Tips Start prepping your NYE outfit. For some, this means ironing a shirt or lint-rolling a sweater. For others, this means shaking out that pair of sweatpants at the foot of the bed.

5 p.m. Food Starting at 5 sharp, Oasis Cafe will greet New Year’s Eve revelers with a special four-course prix fixe menu (served until 9 p.m.) created by Chef de Cuisine Efren Benitez, priced at $40 per person, with optional wine pairings available. Menu options include dishes such as Hawaiian ahi tuna tartar; a grilled veggie tower with pomodoro; endive and radicchio salad with gorgonzola and cranberry dressing; shrimp bisque with chives; grilled salmon over Yukon Gold mashed potatoes; truffled beef Wellington with port-wine demi-glace; tres leches cake; and marbled cappuccino cheesecake. 151 S. 500 East, SLC, 801-3220404, OasisCafeSLC.com

4 p.m.

Choose your wine and get in line—all liquor stores close at 5 p.m.

New Year’s Eve Celebration giveaWayS • prizeS • parTy FavOrS! dinner & a ShOW WiTh

cOnn curran 7pM - 10pM

playing 10pM inTO The neW year.

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rObOT dreaM

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FOllOWed by

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DECEMBER 18, 2014 | 31

326 S. West Temple • Open 11-2am M-F, 10-2am Sat & Sun • www.graciesslc.com

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32 | DECEMBER 18, 2014

Cider Rum Punch Make thyme-infused simple syrup by combining 2 cups of sugar, 1 ½ cups of water and 6 sprigs of thyme in a saucepan, then bringing the mixture to a boil, lowering the heat to medium, and letting the mixture simmer until the sugar dissolves— cool the syrup down in the fridge. In a pitcher with ice, mix together 8 ounces dark rum, 3 ounces lemon juice, 4 ounces thyme syrup, 12 ounces apple cider, 4 ounces water, 4 ounces club soda and 8 dashes of Angostura bitters. Pour into individual glasses filled with ice, and garnish with fresh thyme and an apple slice.

Food Add a little mystery to the evening with the Tin Angel Café’s four-course blackout dinner, so named because diners are blindfolded for the second course. The $40 dinner will be served until 9 p.m., but Tin Angel will be closed New Year’s Day, so get your fill of its tasty tapas, salads and pastas tonight. 65 W. 400 South, SLC, 801-328-4155, TheTinAngel.com

5:15 p.m. Tips Getting in and out of downtown activities can feel intimidating if you hate dealing with parking hassles, traffic or the expense of taking a cab. Your best bet for getting into and out of the downtown area is often Trax, even more so if you plan to partake of adult refreshments without concern about being fit to drive. And this year, the financial incentive is even greater: For the 15th anniversary of Trax, UTA is offering 15 cent one-way rides Dec. 15-31, exclusively for those using FarePay cards. So, grab a card, get a round-trip ticket, and spend just three dimes on your downtown transportation.

Party Chairlifts start loading at Alta Ski Area for the New Year’s Eve torchlight parade, an Alta tradition. To ski in the torchlight parade, participants (this means you) donate $5 or more to help people in need—tickets for the parade benefit the Utah Food Bank, and will be on sale at the Wildcat Base from 8:45 a.m. to 6 p.m. The parade will be followed by Alta’s annual New Year’s Eve fireworks celebration. Alta.com

5:30 p.m. Tips If you’re going out, don’t forget to say goodbye to your pets. Who knows when you’ll be home? To them, hours feel like an eternity. :(

5:45 p.m. Staying home When it’s freezing outside, nothing warms up the body quite like a strong cocktail—and you’ll get a little warmer thinking of all the money you’ll save by drinking at home. You can’t go wrong with the classic winter-friendly hot toddy: pour a shot of whiskey into a mug, add a tablespoon of honey and a squirt of fresh lemon juice, top off with boiling water, then stir to combine. But if you want to get a little fancier, try the recipe for cider rum punch (courtesy Verses From My Kitchen) on this page.

8 p.m.

Elephant Revival returns to The State Room

6 p.m. Staying home If mixing individual cocktails isn’t your thing, warm spiced wine is the ticket to a lowmaintenance buzz (beware though: Spiced wine can affect some people like NyQuil—you might not make it to midnight). Get a big bottle of cheap-ish red wine (box wine is an economical choice) and pour however much you feel like drinking into a saucepan. Next, add a few whole cinnamon sticks, a small handful of whole cloves and a couple whole star anise if you’re feeling fancy. Then, add a little brandy (optional), and cut an orange in half and squeeze one of the halves into the pot—float orange slices on the top for prettiness, too—and mix everything together. The trick to heating it up is to warm it slowly over a medium-low temperature; you don’t want to get it too hot or the alcohol will cook out, and you want the flavors to meld together—once it barely starts steaming, it’s done. Sweeten the wine to taste (brown sugar works well). Feel free to experiment and make the wine taste good to you. Somehow, spiced wine tastes best out of a goblet, while marathoning Game of Thrones.

Party If you or your companions have some excess energy to burn off, head to The Salt Palace for EVE Winter Fest activities. The BallRoom is an annual tradition that fills the Salt Palace ballroom with 2,015 inflatable beach balls as the lights flash and dance music plays. The junior room offers a safe space for younger guests, while the main room is the place to get really wild. HoopDeDoo’s glow-in-the-dark hula hoops allow guests to be the show. And BounceTown offers more than two-dozen inflatable features from slides to castles to

whacking away at one another with inflatable jousting sticks or “boxing” gloves. Some features are reserved for younger folks to play with, while other areas provide some playtime for the young at heart. Admission to both is included with a three-day Winter Fest pass. 100 S. West Temple, SLC, 801-333-1133, EVE.com

Music There’s still plenty of classical and traditional music happening at Temple Square at 2014’s EVE Winter Fest, but compared to years past, this year’s downtown multi-venue party features more local artists to check out as well. Most of the performances will happen at EVE’s “headquarters” at The Salt Palace, notably indoors, so you can dance and watch comfortably, minus the chattering teeth and bulky layers. Local DJs will be spinning tunes the first two days of the festival, but the music will ramp up leading to the big

moment on New Year’s Eve. J Godina will perform at 6 p.m., DJ Matty Mo will do a set at 6:15 p.m., City Weekly’s 2014 Band of the Year Westward the Tide will bring their dynamic folk rock to the stage at 9 p.m. (read more about Westward the Tide on p. 54), DJ Jarvicious will take to the decks at 9:30 p.m., and Provo alt-rock/pop band Fictionist will perform at 10:30 p.m. View the complete music schedule at EVE.com. The Salt Palace, 100 S. West Temple, times vary, $5-$20; limited no-fee tickets available at CityWeeklyStore.com

Staying home Turner Classic Movies becomes Turner Classic Rock Movies with back-to-back music docs and flicks Elvis on Tour (1972), The Beatles’ A Hard Day’s Night (1964), The Rolling Stones’ Gimme Shelter (1970), Jimi Hendrix (1973) and The Who’s Tommy (1975).

9 p.m.

Westward the Tide takes the stage at the Salt Palace

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DECEMBER 18, 2014 | 33

6:15 p.m. Food To get the NYE party started, pop into Bambara, where Executive Chef Nathan Powers will have his luscious blini demidoff (buckwheat pancakes with caviar) on the menu—“My favorite thing in the world,” Powers says. And wash that bodacious blini down with ice-cold vodka: Bambara general manager John Wormdahl says he’ll be making shot glasses out of ice to serve it in. 202 S. Main, SLC, 801-363-5454, Bambara-SLC.com

Food Double-check your Caffe Niche reservation, because this neighborhood favorite won’t be taking walk-ups. The special New Year’s Eve five-course dinner is $50 per person and includes both vegetarian- and carnivore-friendly choices of appetizer and entree, all featuring fresh, local ingredients. 779 E. 300 South, SLC, 801-433-3380, CaffeNiche.com

6:30 p.m. Food Date Night at Sur La Table in The Gateway is a great way to ditch the crowds and start the new year learning how to cook delicious crab cakes, beef medallions and pot de crème. The class is $79. 10 Rio Grande St., SLC, 800-243-0852, SurLaTable.com

7 p.m. Party Big Easy Entertainment’s New Year’s Eve Masquerade Ball at the Red Lion Hotel features music from the

Staying home ABC kicks off the NYE festivities with Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve With Ryan Seacrest 2015 and, if that title weren’t so long, we could have listed some of the musical guests. Just assume Taylor Swift will be there.

8 p.m.

Take your seat for Jane Lynch at the Eccles Center

12:30 a.m.

Party MMA Total Mayhem’s 20TwentyFifteen15 Red, Black & White party at the Davis Conference Center featuring MMA fights, aerial silks and casino games. Tickets are $25. 1651 N. 700 West, Layton, 385-626-9447, SmithTix.com or TotalMayhemEnt.com

Tips Start a mental list of unrealistic expectations for next year.

7:30 p.m. Low-key Revelry The Bull Wars at the Golden Spike Event Center will feature Utah bull ridin’ at its finest. Tickets are $10 for adults. Price goes up $2 at the door. 1000 N. 1200 West, Ogden, 801-399-8798, SmithsTix.com

8 p.m. the drive, The Great Saltair is ringing in the new year with a massive dance party. At this year’s annual Legends party, a variety of national and international electro, dubstep and house artists will bring their brain-melting bass to the stage and get hundreds of partiers moving. The lineup includes British producers/ DJs Feed Me and Overwerk, Los Angeles-based electronic duo The Crystal Method, Los Angeles bass/ trap/house producer Jackal, Salt Lake City electro duo Rokcity and the Midwest’s DJ Motto. The Great Saltair, 12408 W. Saltair Drive, Magna, general admission $25, VIP $60, TheSaltair.com

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34 | DECEMBER 18, 2014

Fabulous Sensations Soul Band and DJ Stario. Tickets start at $55. 161 W. 600 South, SLC, 801-414-1428, BigEasyEntertainment Utah.com

Party If you feel up to braving

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New Year’s Guide

Food Dinner for two at Franck’s sounds to us like a recipe for New Year’s Eve deliciousness. The NYE four-course menu includes kohlrabi-Champagne soup; housecured organic Scottish salmon; sous vide Snake River Farms beef

culottes with blacktruffle gougères; butter-basted diver scallop; duck confit, crab claw and baby-artichoke salad; cognac-soaked dark-chocolate cake; Asian pear-Champagne “caviar,” and a whole lot more. $95 per person, plus tax and gratuity. 6363 S. Holladay Blvd., Holladay, 801-2746264, FrancksFood.com

Tips If you’re all alone and you don’t have any plans, post a Casual Encounter ad on Craigslist or just go nuts on Tinder for a half-hour.

Party EVE Winter Fest hosts a special VIP shindig at the Utah Museum of Contemporary Art. Celebrate with beers from Epic Brewing, Beehive Distilling’s Jack Rabbit Gin, Five Wives Vodka and other locally sourced refreshments, in addition to food from local celebrity chefs. Special live performances by Winter Fest musical guests and other performers complement dance music by DJ Jesse Walker and DJ Sneeky Long, culminating in a midnight Champagne toast. Over 21 only, admission included with $100 Winter Fest VIP ticket. 20 S. West Temple, SLC, 801-328-4201, EVE.com

Last chance to call The Pie for pizza delivery

on their latest album, 2013’s Adventures in Vagabondia. The State Room, 638 S. State, Dec. 30, $30; Dec. 31, 9 p.m., $50, VIP packages available, TheStateRoom. com; limited no-fee tickets available at CityWeeklyStore.com

Low-key Revelry The Eccles Center for the Performing Arts will be hosting Jane Lynch, the actress and comedian known for her roles in The 40 Year-Old Virgin, Best in Show and Glee. Tickets start at $40. 1750 Kearns Blvd., Park City, 435-655-3114, EcclesCenter.org

8:30 p.m. Party A Masquerade Party at Zermatt Resort will feature music from Take 5 playing swinging jazz and hits from the ’60s, ’70s and ’80s. Expect hors d’oeuvres, a midnight balloon drop and plenty of party favors. Tickets are $19.95 for kids and $49.50 for adults. 784 W. Resort Drive, Midway, 435- 657-0180, ZermattResort.com

9 p.m.

Music Elephant Revival’s two-night

Tips If you’re at a party, start hoarding

stint at The State Room last New Year’s Eve was such a success that the Colorado folk band is back again this year for another two evenings of music. Elephant Revival is still touring in support of its 2013 album, These Changing Skies—an ethereal but toe-tapping mix of traditional Americana acoustic goodness and ear-catching experimentation—but the band’s five members are in the process of writing new songs and will be playing some of them tonight. Also on the bill is acoustically oriented Colorado band Taarka, who plays an eclectic, fiddle-driven blend of Celtic folk, bluegrass and gypsy jazz, as heard

Low-key Revelry If you like a little surprise in your New Year’s Eve fun, drop in at the Off Broadway Theatre for improvisational comedy courtesy of the theater’s resident troupe, Laughing Stock. The 20-years-running squad turns audience suggestions and wild improv games into an evening of laughs, perfect for helping warm up a chilly December night. Admission is included with EVE Winter Fest three-day pass; visit website for showtimes. 272 S. Main, SLC, 801-355-4628, EVE.com

cocktail shrimp; they’re just gonna get thrown out anyway.

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DECEMBER 18, 2014 | 35

| New Year’s eve guide |

| cityweekly.net |

Join us for a three course meal for two at an additional cost of $49**! Package is valid December 29-31, 2014. *Upgrade Cider to Champagne for an additional $15 **must book package to receive this discounted price

DECEMBER 18, 2014 | 37

110 WEST 600 SOUTH | 801.359.7800 www.saltlakecitysuites.doubletree.com

| CITY WEEKLY |

Enjoy one of our two room suites with a bottle of Sparkling Cider and two keepsake champagne flutes*, Buffet Breakfast for two in Stephen’s American Bistro and two 3 day passes to Salt Lake City’s EVE Winter Fest.

| NEW YEAR’S EVE GUIDE |

6 | DECEMBER 18, 2014

| cityweekly.net |

Start 2015 off with a BANG!

38 | DECEMBER 18, 2014

| CITY WEEKLY | |New Year’s eve guide |

| cityweekly.net |

New Year’s Guide

Staying home NBC’s New Year’s Eve With Carson Daly rings in 2015 with Tony Bennett, Lady Gaga, Blake Shelton, Gwen Stefani and Pharrell Williams, as well as, for no apparent reason, Seth MacFarlane.

Low-key Revelry Wiseguys Downtown will feature stand-up comedian Chris Franjola, known for his frequent appearances on E!’s Chelsea Lately. Tickets are $20. 50 W. 300 South, Suite 100, SLC, 801-5325233, WiseguysComedy.com

Music New Year’s Eve seems to hold a special place in the hearts of the five dudes of Max Pain & the Groovies, most likely because the psych-rock band played their first show on a fabled New Year’s Eve long past. They performed at The Urban Lounge on NYE last year, and are reprising that show this year—with the same DJ support, even: DJ Matty Mo (City Weekly’s 2014 DJ of the Year) and DJ Flash & Flare—with one special twist. At their 2014 NYE show, Max Pain & the Groovies will release their debut full-length album, Electro Cosmic, a woozy, hazy collection of new material and older songs, including a few from their self-titled 2013 EP. Combine the chance to hear those new songs with Max Pain & the Groovies’ maniacal, high-octane energy, and you’ll have a NYE for the history books. The Urban Lounge, 241 S. 500 East, $3 before 10 p.m., $6 after 10 p.m., TheUrbanLoungeSLC.com

10 p.m.

10:30 p.m.

Party It’s Date Night for Two at the Bella Vista Reception Center in Lindon with live music, hors d’oeuvres, prizes and a silent auction to benefit Pearls with Purpose. $50 per couple online, or $60 at the door. 275 W. 200 North, Lindon, 801-6367549, DateNightFor2.com

9:30 p.m.

Staying home Pitbull’s New Year’s

Tips Call your mom. If she’s on the East

Revolution (clever title, eh?) does it up with Enrique Iglesias, Fall Out Boy, Fifth Harmony, The Band Perry and Becky G on Fox.

Coast, it’s too late, and now you’re a bad person.

Tips If you’re out and about, resist

Dance in the new year at EVE Winter Fest with DJ Juggy

front pocket.

11:30 p.m. Party EVE Winter Fest—and the

Food After the ball drops, the night can start to taper off. But whether you are at home with a bunch of party guests who don’t look like they’re going anywhere, or are only halfway through your Lord of the Rings marathon, food needs to happen. Get a jumpstart on the post-midnight pizza-ordering spree by calling for a delivery now. The Pie Pizzeria (1320 E. 200 South, SLC, 801-5825700, ThePie.com) is open for takeout until 1 a.m., and delivery is available until 1 a.m., but call before 12:30 a.m. to place your order. The Pie Hole (344 S. State, SLC, 801-3594653, PieholeUtah.com) is open for takeout until 2 a.m., with delivery available until approximately midnight.

12 a.m.

1:40 a.m. S-Line eastbound (Central Pointe to Fairmont) 1:42 a.m. Green southbound (Airport to West Valley Central) 2 a.m. S-Line westbound (Fairmont to Central Pointe)

1 a.m. Tips Look outside. It’s 2015, and you probably still have tons of student debt to pay off. Now, go have some fun: It’s New Year’s Eve, you dingus!

1:15 a.m. Tips If you came to the big city from Davis or Utah counties, head to Salt Lake Central Station now—the last Frontrunner trains of the night both north and south leave at 1:30 a.m.

2 a.m. Tips Good luck getting a cab. Since driving your drunk self home is off the table, either start walking or hunker down and start a new life at this rando’s house.

2:30 a.m.

12:45 a.m.

6:45 a.m.

Tips Get thee to a Trax station—the last

DECEMBER 18, 2014 | 39

trains leave between midnight and 2 a.m.: 12:34 a.m. Red northbound (Daybreak Parkway to Medical Center) 12:48 a.m. Green northbound (West Valley Central to Airport) 12:57 a.m. Blue southbound (Salt Lake Central to Draper Town Center) 12:58 a.m. Red southbound (Medical Center to Daybreak Parkway)

Food You haven’t gone to bed yet—or you awoke early, feeling the weight of 2015 pressing down on you. Either way, you need a hearty, soothing breakfast. Blue Plate Diner (2041 S. 2100 East, SLC, 801-463-1151, TheBluePlateDiner.com) and Penny Ann’s Cafe (1810 S. Main, SLC, 801-935-4760, PennyAnnsCafe.com) both open at 7 a.m., and are sure to be packed solid—but Blue Plate’s corned-beef hash and Penny Ann’s

| CITY WEEKLY |

Tips Quickly pop in that mint from earlier and kiss everyone in the room, because YOLO ... or whatever. If you’re home alone, summon an Uber driver for a quick peck on the lips. Tips Drink a glass of water. It’s good for you and besides, you’ve had enough Busch anyway.

Food The downtown city streets are starting to feel a little cold and empty, but the night doesn’t have to end quite yet. Sicilia Pizza Kitchen (35 W. 300 South, SLC, 801-961-7077) is open until 3 a.m. for dine-in and takeout, and Big Kahuna Pizza ’n’ Stuff (470 S. 700 East, SLC, 801-467-9555) offers takeout and delivery until 4 a.m.

| New Year’s eve guide |

11:30 p.m.

Tips Casually unwrap a mint. Place it in

introduction of its massive new MirrorBall as an alternative to an inversion-unfriendly fireworks show finale—comes to a conclusion at The Salt Palace, where DJ Juggy rings in the new year for you and a few thousand of your closest new friends. Get cozy, get moving and count down toward 2015 while that big ball spins spectacular lights around downtown Salt Lake City. 100 S. West Temple, SLC, 801333-1133, EVE.com

| cityweekly.net |

the urge to look at your phone and try interacting with society. If you’re at home, resist the urge to share GIF-heavy NYE Buzzfeed listicles.

11 p.m.

10 p.m.

Rock out with Max Pain & the Groovies at The Urban Lounge

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|New Year’s eve guide |

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40 | DECEMBER 18, 2014

6 p.m.

Put on your own show with the glowin-the-dark hula hoops at EVE Winter Fest’s HoopDeDoo

heavenly hotcakes are more than worth the wait. Those diet resolutions don’t need to kick in until tomorrow.

8 a.m. Food Your belly is crying out for something comforting but healthy after last night’s binge. Caffe Niche (779 E. 300 South, SLC, 801-433-3380, CaffeNiche.com) is open for brunch starting at 8 a.m., serving oatmeal with local honey, blueberries and coconut, as well as classic breakfast favorites like eggs and bacon (also local) and French toast. Over at The Wild Grape (81 E. South Temple, SLC, 801-746-5565, WildGrapeBistro.com), you can order a plate of fresh fruit to pair with the bodacious doughnut holes, which come with vanilla custard and strawberry jam so you can customize each bite. Food You can chill out until 2 p.m. with New Year’s Day brunch in the soothing, casual ambiance of the Lucky H Bar & Grille in the Little America Hotel. Chef Bernard Götz will dish up his first brunch buffet of the year ($25 for adults; $12.95 for kids), along with an excellent liquor, wine and beer selection available starting at noon. 500 S. Main, SLC, 801-596-5704, LittleAmerica.com

10 a.m. Low-key Revelry ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL? If you’re

wincing while nodding your head, make sure you’ve got your earplugs and head to Fiddler’s Elbow’s hangover brunch, which starts at 9 a.m. College bowl games get going at 10 a.m. and continue all day, with matchups between Auburn and Wisconsin, Oregon and Florida State, and Alabama and Ohio State. 1063 E. 2100 South, SLC, 801-463-9393, FiddlersElbowSLC.com

11 a.m. Food Hey, sleepyhead. The day’s half over— but don’t worry; New Year’s Day brunches at Squatters (147 W. 300 South, SLC, 801-3632739, Squatters.com) and Avenues Proper (376 Eighth Ave., SLC, 385-227-8628, AvenuesProper. com) are just starting. Once you’ve shoveled down Squatters’ Roadhouse skillet (a pile of hash browns, peppers, onions, tomato, jack and cheddar cheeses, sausage gravy and eggs) or Avenues Proper’s chicken & waffles, you’ll be ready for some hair of the dog from the expansive beer selections at either brewery.

1 p.m. Staying home Between Dec. 24 and Jan. 2, the Science Channel will be running 228 hours of building, testing and, of course, exploding, as the Mythbusters Mega Holiday Marathon dares you to learn something on your day off.

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DECEMBER 18, 2014 | 41

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42 | DECEMBER 18, 2014

Bar

E NY Blitz Where to drink in the new year

5 Monkeys

Bourbon House

Theme: NYE Karaoke Party * Cover: No cover * Entertainment: DJ Stevo-O * More: Prizes, giveaways * Party: 8 p.m. 7 E. 4800 South, Murray, 801-266-1885, 5MonkeysClub.com

Cover: No cover * Entertainment: Who Knows * More: free party favors * Music: 10 p.m. 19 E. 200 South, SLC, 801-355-2287, BourbonHouseSLC.com

ABG’s Libation Emporium

Carol’s Cove II

Cover: $8 * Entertainment: Mortigi Tempo, The Troubles, Temples * Music: 10 p.m. 190 W. Center St., Provo, 801-373-1200, ABGsBar.com

Alleged Theme: Sophisticated Debauchery * Cover: $5 * Entertainment: DJ Maddjaxx, Minx * More: Giveaways, promo swag * Music: 8 p.m. 205 25th St., Ogden, 801-9900692, Alledged25th.com

Area 51

Cover: $7 * Entertainment: Machine Gun & Roses * More: NYE giveaways, raffles * Food: Chicken dinner for two, RSVP available, $15 * Dinner: 8 p.m. 3424 S. State, SLC, 801-4662683, Facebook.com/CarolsCove2

Cisero’s Entertainment: DJ Battleship and DJ Elvis Freshly * More: * $50 VIP booths available Time: 9 p.m. 306 Main, Park City, 435-649-6800, Ciseros.com

Club 90

Theme: Masquerade Ball * Cover: $10 in advance, $15 day of event * Entertainment: DJs * More: Champagne toast, free party favors and free raffle giveaway of cash and prizes valued at more than $1,000. * Party: 9 p.m. 451 S. 400 West, SLC, 801-534-0819, Area51SLC. com, SmithsTix.com

Cover: $12 in advance * Entertainment: One Way Johnny * More: Tickets include cover, seat and noisemaker * Food: Dinner options available including Prime rib * Dinner: 6 p.m. * Music: 9 p.m. 9056 S. Monroe St. (150 West), Sandy, 801-5663254, Club90SLC.com

Beer Bar

Donkey Tails Cantina

Cover: No cover * Entertainment: DJ Feral Cat More: Balloon drop * Time: 9 p.m. 161 E. 200 South, 801-355-2287

A Bar Named Sue Cover: No cover * Entertainment: DJ Sameyeam * More: Champagne toast at midnight * Time: 10 p.m. 3928 S. Highland Drive, SLC, 801-2745578, A-Bar-Named-Sue.com

A Bar Named Sue on State Cover: No cover * Entertainment: DJs * More: Champagne toast at midnight * Time: 10 p.m. 8136 S. State, Midvale, 801-566-3222

Gracie’s

Theme: Hollywood Red Carpet * Cover: No cover * Entertainment: Krazy Karaoke * More: Champagne toast at midnight, giveaways * Party: 7 p.m. 136 E. 12300 South, Draper, 801-571-8134, Guadalahonkys.com

Downstairs Cover: $75 * Entertainment: DJ Mom Jeans and Miss DJ Lux * More: RSVP for tables * Time: 8 p.m. 625 Main, Park City, 435-226-5340, TheDownstairsPC.com

Gracie’s Cover: $5 after midnight * Entertainment: Conn Curran Trio,

DJ Robot Dream * Music: 6 p.m. 326 S. West Temple, SLC, 801-819-7565, GraciesSLC.com

The Green Pig Cover: $5 * Entertainment: DJ Latu * More: NYE party favors and Champagne toast * Food: Surf & turf dinner, $25 * Dinner: 5 p.m. * Music: 10 p.m. 31 E. 400 South, SLC, 801532-7441, TheGreenPigPub.com

Habits Cover: $25 in advance, $30 at the door * Entertainment: DJ Scotty B * Food: Chicken cordon bleu for $17, Prime rib special for $21.95, grilled salmon for $19.95, flat-iron steak for $18.95 * Dinner: 6 p.m. 832 E. 3900 South, SLC, 801-268-2228, ClubHabits.com

The Hotel Theme: New Year’s Eve Prom* Cover: $15 in advance, $25 at the door * Entertainment: DJs * More: Balloon drop, $2,000 in giveaways * Time: 8 p.m. 155 W. 200 South, SLC, 801-478-4310, Facebook.com/ TheHotelClubElevate

Huka Bar & Grill Theme: Masquerade Ball * Cover: $7, or RSVP for $2 * Entertainment: DJ Maddix * More: Balloon drop, best mask prizes * Food: $4 wine, $5 hummus and pita * Music: 10 p.m. 151 E. 6100 South, Murray, 801-281-4852, TheHukaBar.com

The Office

(formerly Inferno) Theme: Prohibition Party * Cover: $10 * Entertainment: Live music and DJs * More: Giveaways, balloon drop * Food: Appetizers * Time: 8 p.m. 122 Pierpont Ave., SLC, 801-8838838, InfernoSLC.com

Jam Theme: Masquerade Ball * Cover: $5 * Entertainment: DJ Lishus, Ladies of Marmalade Drag Show * More: Midnight balloon drop * Time: 9 p.m. 751 N. 300 West, SLC, 801-891-1162, JamSLC.com

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Door Prizes

| CITY WEEKLY |

t u e s d ay s

Wine Wednesdays

| New Year’s eve guide |

LIVEMUSIC w/ Salt Shakers

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celebrity impersonator

| cityweekly.net |

Johnny’s On Second Cover: No cover * Entertainment: DJ Badboy Brian * More: Champagne toast * Time: 9 p.m. 165 E. 200 South, SLC, 801-746-3334, JohnnysOnSecond.com

Keys On Main Cover: RSVP online for $10 to reserve a seat * Entertainment: George, Kelly, Rebecca, Eric Williams and Jed Jones on the keys * Time: 8 p.m. 242 S. Main, SLC, 801-363-3638, KeysOnMain.com

The Leprechaun Inn Cover: No cover * Entertainment: Karaoke hosted by Lennie * Time: 9 p.m. 4700 S. 900 East, SLC, 801-268-3294, TheLeprechaunInn.com

Lumpy’s Downtown Theme: Midnight Madness * Cover: No cover * Entertainment: DJ * More: Giveaways, swag, Champagne toast, specialty cocktails * Time: 8 p.m. 145 Pierpont Ave., SLC, 801-883-8714, LumpysDowntownSLC.com

Liquid Joe’s Cover: $10 * Entertainment: DJs EMoney and ONax * More: Champagne * Time: 9 p.m. 1249 E. 3300 South, SLC, 801-467-5637, LiquidJoes.net

Maxwell’s East Coast Eatery Theme: Third-annual White Party * Cover: TBD * Entertainment: DJ J Godina * More: Bottle service, VIP service, giveaways * Time: 9 p.m. 357 S. Main, SLC, 801-328-0304, Facebook.com/MaxwellsSLC

Metro Bar Theme: Masquerade Ball * Cover: $5 before 10 p.m., $10 after * Entertainment: DJ DC and Robbie Rob * More: Cash cannon at midnight blasting out $500 * Time: 8 p.m. 615 W. 100 South, SLC, 801-652-6543, MetroSLC.com

Outlaw Saloon: Cover: $7 * Entertainment: Hearts of Steele * Music: 9 p.m. 1254 W. 2100 South, Ogden, 801-334-9260, OutlawSaloon.com

Park City Live Theme: A Black Tie Affair * Cover: Pre-Sale $75, Platinum skybar and mezzanine $125 * More: Cocktail attire not required but highly suggested * Food: Complimentary hors d’oeuvres from 9-10:30 p.m. * Time: 9 p.m. 427 Main, Park City, 435- 649-9123, ParkCityLive.net

44 | DECEMBER 18, 2014

| CITY WEEKLY |

|New Year’s eve guide |

Beer Bar

The Tavernacle

Bar N Y E Guide Pins & Ales

Zest Kitchen & Bar

Theme: Black & White Affair * Cover: No cover * Entertainment: DJ Che, DJ Dee * More: Prizes and giveaways, mostly bar swag * Time: 9 p.m. 12101 S. State, Draper, 801-572-1122, Facebook.com/PinsAndAles

Cover: $7 after 10:30 p.m. * Entertainment: DJs Felix Villar and Jesse Walker * Food: $35 threecourse dinner * Dinner: 6 p.m. * Music: 9 p.m. 275 S. 200 West, SLC, 801-4330589, ZestSLC.com

Piper Down

Lumpy’s Downtown

* Theme: NYE Piperstyle * Cover: $5 * Entertainment: The Salt Shakers * More: Door prizes, Champagne toast * Time: 8 p.m. 1492 S. State, SLC, 801-468-1492, PiperDownPub.com

The Royal Cover: $5 * Entertainment: DJ Butch Wolfthorn * More: Balloon prize drop at midnight * Time: 9 p.m. 4760 S. 900 East, Murray, 801-5909940, TheRoyalSLC.com

The Tavernacle Cover: $5 * Entertainment: Troy, Drew and Allison on piano * More: Balloon drop, Champagne toast * Time: 9 p.m. 201 E. 300 South, SLC, 801-519-8900, Tavernacle.com

Wasted Space

The Woodshed Cover: $5 * Entertainment: DJ Anthony Motto * Time: 9:30 p.m. 60 E. 800 South, SLC, 801364-0805, The WoodshedSLC.com

Cover: $5 * Entertainment: Ledd Foot * More: Balloon drop at midnight * Time: 6 p.m. 3360 S. Redwood Road, West Valley City, 801-9725447, WesternerSLC.com

DECEMBER 18, 2014 | 45

The Westerner

-Your Personal Psychic

| CITY WEEKLY |

Theme: NYE Bash * Cover: $5 cover * Entertainment: DJ Dragon * More: $1,000 cash drop at midnight * Time: 9 p.m. 342 S. State, SLC, 801-531-2107, Facebook.com/ WastedSpace

Gift certificates available enchantedeye.com

| New Year’s eve guide |

Theme: Sandy Station New Year’s Bash * Cover: $10 * Entertainment: DJ E-Flexx, karaoke * More: Tons of NYE swag, iPad Air 2 giveaway, $1,000 cash balloon drop, midnight Champagne toast * Time: 8 p.m. 8925 Harrison St., Sandy, 801-255-2289, SandyStation.com

free 20 Minutes with Gift Buy call 801-577-2248

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Sandy Station

What’s in the cards for 2015?

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|New Year’s eve guide |

| CITY WEEKLY |

46 | DECEMBER 18, 2014

VICTORY WAITS ON FINGERTIPS!

YOUR

NEEDS A

r o t i d E y p o C

We’re looking for someone with keen skills for grammar, spelling, fact-checking, structure and fixing things like long, redundant, pointless run-on sentences. And sentence fragments.

Experience preferred. Must love AP Style. Visit CityWeekly.net/CopyEditor for more details, or e-mail editor@cityweekly.net.

the HOBBIT

There and Back Again and Again and Again The end of Peter Jackson’s The Hobbit saga mostly comes as a relief. By Scott Renshaw scottr@cityweekly.net @scottrenshaw

Mommy Fearest By Scott Renshaw scottr@cityweekly.net @scottrenshaw

Luke Evans and Orlando Bloom in The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies Galadriel (Cate Blanchett). The emotional extremes—from the operatic moments of tragedy to the forced comic-relief of the craven, greedy Laketown minister Alfrid (Ryan Gage)—make it feel like Jackson is working from a checklist: “You’ll laugh! You’ll cry! You’ll gasp!” A nd you’ll check your watch. Astonishingly, Five Armies is the shortest of the six Middle Earth films, clocking in at just under 2 1/2 hours, yet there’s still a redundancy to virtually everything the movie counts on to connect with an audience. The centerpiece battle is a mashup of the more compelling sequences in The Two Towers and Return of the King; Thorin’s descent into power-mad violence echoes the fate of Boromir in The Fellowship of the Ring; etc. By the time Bilbo returns home to The Shire, where his possessions are being sold because he’s been presumed dead, it’s not just a reminder of how long this quest has dragged on. It’s a reminder of the goofy, whimsical side that Jackson generally ignored in favor of more LOTR copycatting. The final shot of old Bilbo (Ian Holm) being visited by Gandalf feels less like a linking piece than a threat: My God, this truly will never end. CW

THE HOBBIT: THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003) Elijah Wood Viggo Mortensen Rated PG-13

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2013) Martin Freeman Richard Armitage Rated PG-13

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (2013) Martin Freeman Ian McKellen Rated PG-13

THE BABADOOK

HHHH Essie Davis Noah Wiseman Not Rated

DECEMBER 18, 2014 | 47

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002) Elijah Wood Viggo Mortensen Rated PG-13

| CITY WEEKLY |

TRY THESE

HH Martin Freeman Richard Armitage Luke Evans Rated PG-13

Cumberbatch) in Laketown. But even once the archer Bard (Luke Evans) manages to defeat Smaug, there seems to be little hope for peace. Dwarf leader Thorin (Richard Armitage) is determined to keep the entirety of the mountain and its treasures once guarded by Smaug for himself, even as armies of elves, men and orcs congregate, each with their own interest in capturing the stronghold. All-out cast-of-digital-thousands warfare ensues, and there’s no question that this is a scale on which Jackson knows how to operate. He’s a gifted choreographer of what, in most other hands, would be distractingly edited chaos, and some of his individual moments in those battle sequences are terrific. It’s delightful watching Legolas (Orlando Bloom) somehow tiptoe his way to safety up a cascade of falling debris, and Jackson knows when to shift from meleé carnage to life-or-death individual confrontations, like Thorin’s showdown with the blade-armed orc chieftain Azog. Those are the moments when The Hobbit movies have teased us with the combination of playfulness and majesty that made The Lord of the Rings films so indelible. But Jackson’s insistence upon going big with this story—building in every possible connection between this one simple adventure and the fate-of-the-world stakes of The Lord of the Rings—means there are too many loose ends to tie up here. Bilbo— still charmingly portrayed by Freeman— disappears for huge stretches as Jackson works to resolve situations like the manufactured romance between elf maiden Tauriel (Evangeline Lilly) and handsome dwarf Kili (Aidan Turner), or the rescue of Gandalf (Ian McKellen) from a squadron of ghost warriors by Saruman (Christopher Lee) and

n most horror movies, the creepy early scenes are all about building up to the moment when we finally see the monster. In writer/director Jennifer Kent’s magnificent debut feature The Babadook, we realize that we’ve been watching the monster all along. It’s the story of Amelia (Essie Davis), a widowed Australian nurse who has raised her son, Samuel (Noah Wiseman), alone for the seven years since her husband died in a car crash on the way to the hospital for Samuel’s delivery. Samuel’s anxieties and emotional problems keep Amelia perpetually on edge and sleepless, but things get even worse when a mysterious picture book appears introducing a shadow y figure called Mister Babadook. Purely as a piece of filmmaking, The Babadook announces Kent as a spectacular new talent. Her compositions are icily precise, like a shot that shows Amelia clinging to the far side of the bed Samuel constantly invades, or the dark empty spaces surrounding Amelia during her insomniac episodes. From the sound design to the chilling construction of the Mister Babadook book itself, it’s a work that nails every technical component a genre film needs. Yet The Babadook is also one of the most psychologically complex thrillers in years, anchored by a performance by Davis that is simply the best lead female role in any movie of 2014. The film’s titular menace becomes a physical manifestation of all the demons that haunt Amelia: unprocessed grief; seeing in her son part of the responsibility for her husband’s death; the sheer exhaustion of dealing with a special-needs child; the guilt at relishing every moment away from that child. Through every truly terrifying moment in The Babadook, there’s an even scarier subtext: It’s not possible to find the happy ending by killing the monster, when the monster is really the stuff that’s inside you. CW

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epending on which versions of the six different movies you have experienced over the years, Peter Jackson has now invited us to spend somewhere between 17 hours and 463 years in Middle Earth. If you watched them back to back to back to back to back to back, you couldn’t, because the human life span doesn’t permit it. All right, we’ve had our little fun at the expense of Mr. Jackson’s propensity for narrative sprawl, because it’s almost mandatory—like chuckling at J.J. Abrams’ lens flares or James Cameron’s tin-eared dialogue. But it’s also an expression of frustration at the way he seems to have lost sight of the fine line between epic and “enough already.” Or maybe it’s sadness that, as much as we wanted The Hobbit films to allow us to repeat the experience of The Lord of the Rings, they really should have been something quite different. Yet here we now are, having reached the point where Tolkien’s (relatively) slim volume, split into three movies, at last reaches its conclusion. And it’s hard to extract oneself from a theater seat for The Battle of the Five Armies with a primary emotion that is anything other than relief. Jackson leaps in right where The Desolation of Smaug ended, hoping we care enough to keep up with where all of the characters were, and why. The dwarf party has been split, with several members— plus Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman)—at the Lonely Mountain, while others face the wrath of the dragon Smaug (Benedict

CINEMA

SIDESHOW

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48 | DECEMBER 18, 2014

CINEMA CLIPS NEW THIS WEEK Information is correct at press time. Film release schedules are subject to change. Annie HhH.5 It took about 30 seconds—after a prologue that introduces, then quickly dismisses, an adorably energetic red-haired girl—for Will Gluck to have me in the palm of his hand with his modern-day version of the musical about the plucky orphan. Partly it’s the simple satisfactions of the casting: Quvenzhané Wallis delivering an irresistible Annie; Jamie Foxx proving appealingly vulnerable as tycoon Will Stacks, who becomes Annie’s guardian as a ploy to boost his New York City mayoral campaign; Rose Byrne as Stacks’ right-hand woman; Cameron Diaz as a Mrs. Hannigan bitter over her missed shot at ’80s pop music stardom. But mostly it’s watching what happens when a creative team understands how to update a text without ruining it, from the percussive arrangements of familiar show-stoppers like “Hard-Knock Life” and “I Don’t Need Anything But You” to creating a seamless plot transition. The new songs may fall flat, and the editing may not be ideal for a musical, but it’s ultimately hard to resist a family-friendly film that’s this confident and energetic—and genuinely funny—without ever pandering. I think I’m gonna like it here, indeed. Opens Dec. 19 at theaters valleywide. (PG)—Scott Renshaw The Babadook HHHH See review p. 47. Opens Dec. 19 at Tower Theatre. (NR) The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies HH See review p. 47. Opens Dec. 17 at theaters valleywide. (PG-13)

Movie times and locations at cityweekly.net

Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb HH At this point, there’s little to say about a Night of the Museum sequel that will change anyone’s mind. One either wants to see it, or one doesn’t; it is a thing that exists, knows its audience, and delivers the goods that audience wants in a manner with which they clearly seem content. And why not? If you want to see a Godzilla-sized capuchin monkey pee on Owen Wilson and Steve Coogan, then you’re in luck. The story this time around consists of more shenanigans surrounding the enchanted Egyptian tablet that brings museum attractions to life, with put-upon yet indefatigable protagonist Ben Stiller bringing the gang of usual suspects plus his son to London, where they encounter an amusingly jerkish Lancelot (Dan Stevens) and an endearingly terrible-at-her-job security guard (Rebel Wilson), to say nothing of a couple very clever celebrity cameos—and a considerable amount of monkey screentime. It’s barely an actual movie in any sense relating to art, but its aim is considerably more modest, and thus one can safely add a star to this review for each child you have under the age of 10. Opens Dec. 19 at theaters valleywide. (PG)—Danny Bowes Top Five HH.5 The title is a reference to characters throughout the film naming their all-time top five rap/hip-hop artists, but it’s also an effective summary of the way writer/director/star Chris Rock approaches the movie: as a series of bullet points, many of them very funny, but not telling much of a story. Rock plays Andre Allen, a successful-stand-up-comic-turned-actor trying to make the transition to serious filmmaking; romantic complications come on the eve of his planned wedding to a reality-TV star (Gabrielle Union), as he spends the day with a journalist (Rosario

Dawson) doing a New York Times profile. The tone bounces wildly between genuine relationship observations and raunchy sex gags, hung on the framework of a Stardust Memories-esque take on an artist trying to separate himself from audience demands. But, ironically, the scattershot effectiveness of the attempts at more serious subjects—addiction recovery, celebrity, professional insecurity—undercuts the realization that Top Five is so much better at its pure comedy than it is at anything else. Do I really care how hard it is to deal with bad reviews when I could be watching DMX croon “Smile”? Opens Dec. 19 at theaters valleywide. (R)—SR

Wild HH.5 In the opening sequence of this adaptation of Cheryl Strayed’s memoir, Strayed (Reese Witherspoon) lets loose a primal scream in the middle of her 1,000-mile hike along the Pacific Crest Trail from Mexico to the Canadian border. Wild’s one and only job is to help us understand the personal demons behind that scream— and the movie just doesn’t pull it off. Director Jean-Marc Vallée (Dallas Buyers Club)—working from an script by Nick Hornby— weaves back and forth in time between Strayed’s three-month journey in 1995 and the events that drove her to it, including the death of her beloved mother (Laura Dern) from cancer, and struggles with drug and sex addiction. That structure never allows the relationship between Strayed and her mother to feel as powerful as she keeps saying it was, nor does Witherspoon’s performance strike the right tone of seen-it-all toughness during her most dangerous encounters on the trail. There’s enough tension in individual moments to maintain basic attention to the story, but those moments never add up to more than a howl in the wilderness, without a real sense for who’s howling, or why. Opens Dec. 19 at theaters valleywide. (R)—SR

CINEMA

CLIPS

Movie times and locations at cityweekly.net

SPECIAL SCREENINGS Bad Santa At Brewvies, Dec. 22, 10 p.m. (R)

Jingle Bell Rocks At Main Library, Dec. 23, 7 p.m. (NR)

One Chance At Park City Film Series, Dec. 19-20 @ 8 p.m. & Dec. 21 @ 6 p.m. (PG-13)

Muppet Christmas Carol At Park City Library, Dec. 20, 3 p.m. (G) Tru Love At Brewvies, Dec. 18, 7 p.m. (NR)

CURRENT RELEASES

Big Hero 6 HHH.5 With all of the marketing focus on huggable, inflatable robot Baymax, you may not get the sense that this is really a story about the ripple effects of vengeance. In some ways, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s also a pretty standard superhero origin story, focused on 14-yearold engineering genius Hiro Hamada (Ryan Potter), who puts together a team to stop a masked villain. Baymax (Scott Adsit) provides a uniquely deadpan spin on the typical Disney comic-relief character, and the â&#x20AC;&#x153;boy and his dogâ&#x20AC;? relationship between Baymax and Hiroâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;part E.T. and part Johnny Sokko and his Giant Robotâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;provides a great emotional nexus. Just be aware, parents, that Big Hero 6 gets pretty intense as it digs into wounded people causing suffering while trying to ease their own pain. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s that classic, old-school Disney bait & switch: sell the cute, deliver the dark. (PG)â&#x20AC;&#x201D;SR

SHOWING: DECEMBER 19TH - DECEMBER 25TH MONDAY 12/22

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more than just movies at brewvies

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DECEMBER 18, 2014 | 49

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50 | DECEMBER 18, 2014

CINEMA

CLIPS

Movie times and locations at cityweekly.net

Exodus: Gods and Kings HH You can’t deny that it’s big—except when it’s trying too hard not to be. Director Ridley Scott presents the story of Moses (Christian Bale) and Rhamses (Joel Edgerton), raised as brothers in the palace of Egypt’s pharaoh, until Moses learns that he was born of the enslaved Hebrews, and leads their fight for freedom. There’s plenty of spectacle here, from the scale of the sets to the enormity of the plagues. Yet even as it’s pulling out all the stops for visual grandeur, it’s also aiming for a humanized, naturalistic approach to the story’s mythological characters and supernatural events. Every time Exodus tries to shrink anything down to a more human size—including the misguided performances—it just feels silly. If the filmmakers weren’t going to go all-in on going big, they might as well have gone home. (PG-13)—SR The Homesman HHH In Tommy Lee Jones’ somewhat anti-Western Western, three women suddenly and “inexplicably” go insane, and are sent to a Methodist minister’s wife in Iowa, escorted by spinster Mary Bee Cuddy (Hilary Swank) and a drifter (Jones) she happens to encounter. That central character dynamic—and the blunt candor with which Jones films the story—highlights the horrors to which women were subjected at the time of its setting, and still are. Elements that appear to be imperfections at first glance are also the source of provocative avenues of interrogation. With the exceptions of a slightly generic score and the occasional too-broad, caricatured performance, there isn’t much to carp about in The Homesman. It reflects its director’s personality: highly intelligent, at home in the past, and stubbornly itself. It certainly earns the label of “A Tommy Lee Jones Film.” (R)—DB The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1 HHH.5 Chopping the final Hunger Games novel into two films might be the best thing that could have happened to this franchise. Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence) is now among the leaders of a rebellion who hope to use her as a symbol to ignite all-out civil war. The series has always been about the power of propaganda, and the movies have effectively showed how Katniss is used by others to further their agendas. Lawrence delivers a terrific performance as a young woman who cannot be managed, yet whose powerful rage is turned into a product. Cutting Mockingjay in half means we’re left with a sort of Empire Strikes Back cliffhanger that doesn’t leave room for much hope—except for the reasonable hope that Part 2 will deliver a satisfying wrap-up to one of the smartest, most enthralling science-fiction films series ever. (PG-13)—MaryAnn Johanson The Way He Looks HHHH Brazil’s Best Foreign Language Oscars submission is a charming teen drama bursting with warmth and compassion. Leo (Ghilherme Lobo) is facing the usual agita of adolescence, complicated by the fact that he’s been blind since birth. But true drama emerges when his close friendship with Giovana (Tess Amorim) is disrupted by the arrival of transferring student Gabriel (Fabio Audi); all the girls have their eye on the handsome newcomer, but he seems to have eyes only for Leo. Or is that only in Leo’s imagination? First-time writer and director Daniel Ribeiro (adapting his own short film) must find ways to transcend the tropes of romance with a protagonist who cannot gaze longingly at the object of his affection, and succeeds in ways that make us feel with fresh tenderness the sweet surprise of young love. (NR)—MAJ

Theater Directory SALT LAKE CITY Brewvies Cinema Pub 677 S. 200 West 801-355-5500 Brewvies.com

Megaplex 20 at The District 11400 S. Bangerter Highway 801-304-INFO MegaplexTheatres.com

Broadway Centre Cinemas 111 E. 300 South 801-321-0310 SaltLakeFilmSociety.org

PARK CITY Cinemark Holiday Village 1776 Park Ave. 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com

Century 16 South Salt Lake 125 E. 3300 South 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com

Redstone 8 Cinemas 6030 N. Market 435-575-0220 Redstone8Cinemas.com

Holladay Center 6 1945 E. Murray-Holladay Road 801-273-0199 WestatesTheatres.com

DAVIS COUNTY AMC Loews Layton Hills 9 728 W. 1425 North, Layton 801-774-8222 AMCTheatres.com

Megaplex 12 Gateway 165 S. Rio Grande St. 801-304-4636 MegaplexTheatres.com Redwood Drive-In 3688 S. Redwood Road 801-973-7088 Tower Theatre 836 E. 900 South 801-321-0310 SaltLakeFilmSociety.org WEST VALLEY 5 Star Cinemas 8325 W. 3500 South, Magna 801-250-5551 RedCarpetCinemas.com Carmike 12 1600 W. Fox Park Drive, West Jordan 801-562-5760 Carmike.com Carmike Ritz 15 Hollywood Connection 3217 S. Decker Lake Drive, West Valley City 801-973-4386 Carmike.com Cinemark 24 Jordan Landing 7301 S. Bangerter Highway 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com Cinemark Valley Fair Mall 3601 S. 2700 West, West Valley City 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com Showcase Cinemas 6 5400 S. Redwood Road, Taylorsville 801-957-9032 RedCarpetCinemas.com SOUTH VALLEY Century 16 Union Heights 7800 S. 1300 East, Sandy 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com

Cinemark Station Park 900 W. Clark Lane, Farmington 801-447-8561 Cinemark.com Cinemark Tinseltown USA 720 W. 1500 North, Layton 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com Gateway 8 206 S. 625 West, Bountiful 801-292-7979 RedCarpetCinemas.com Megaplex Legacy Crossing 1075 W. Legacy Crossing Blvd., Centerville 801-397-5100 MegaplexTheatres.com WEBER COUNTY Cinemark Tinseltown 14 3651 Wall Ave., Ogden 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com Megaplex 13 at The Junction 2351 Kiesel Ave., Ogden 801-304-INFO MegaplexTheatres.com UTAH COUNTY Carmike Wynnsong 4925 N. Edgewood Drive, Provo 801-764-0009 Carmike.com Cinemark American Fork 715 W. 180 North, American Fork 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com Cinemark Movies 8 2230 N. University Parkway, Orem 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com Cinemark Provo Town Center 1200 Town Center Blvd., Provo 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com

Cinemark Draper 12129 S. State, Draper 801-619-6494 Cinemark.com

Cinemark University Mall 1010 S. 800 East, Provo 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com

Cinemark Sandy 9 9539 S. 700 East, Sandy 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com

Megaplex Thanksgiving Point 2935 N. Thanksgiving Way 801-304-INFO MegaplexTheatres.com

Megaplex 17 Jordan Commons 9400 S. State, Sandy 801-304-INFO MegaplexTheatres.com

Spanish 8 790 E. Expressway Ave., Spanish Fork 801-798-9777 RedCarpetCinemas.com

TRUE BY B I L L F RO S T @bill_frost

100 & Done

DVD

Continuum: Season 3 Timecop Kiera’s (Rachel Nichols) mission to stop the Liber8 terrorists from 2077 in 2014 becomes more dangerous than ever— unless an alternate timeline was created and none of it has happened … or will happen. Huh? (Universal, Dec. 23)

Anger Management finally reaches 100 episodes. In other news, Anger Management is still on.

Banshee: Season 2 The most badass action series you’ve never heard of returns for a second season of sex, violence and Amish politics, as fake sheriff Hood (Antony Starr) and fake housewife Carrie (Ivana Milicevic) outwit real gangsters. Get it. Now. (HBO, Dec. 30)

The Brittany Murphy Story Amanda Fuller stars in the not-at-all exploitative “true” story of actress Brittany Murphy, from Clueless in the ’90s to her death in 2009, as told through the Hollywood magic of terrible wigs and pure conjecture. (A&E, Dec. 30)

Fresh Cut Green & Flocked Christmas Trees Wreaths, Garland & Poinsettia’s

tia’s

Certificates

Mon - Sat 9am-8pm, Sun 10am-5pm

glovernursery.com

801-562-5496 • 9275 S 1300 W

Shameless: Season 4 It’s winter in Chicago, Lip’s in college and Fiona’s steady job has almost elevated the Gallaghers to the middle class—so of course it’s all going to fall apart, just like Frank’s liver. Shameless is the American family TV series. (Warner Bros., Dec. 30)

More New DVD/VOD Releases (Dec. 23 & 30) Dec. 23: Dominion: Season 1, Intruders: Season 1, Pride, Richard Pryor: Icon, Sanatorium, Traffickers, The Trip to Italy, Two-Bit Waltz. Dec. 30: Dance-Off, Enlisted: Season 1, The Equalizer, Friends With Better Lives: Season 1, Kelly & Cal, Mind Games: Season 1, Reach Me, Rush: Season 1 Listen to Bill on Mondays at 8 a.m. on X96 Radio From Hell; weekly on the TV Tan podcast via iTunes and Stitcher.

DECEMBER 18, 2014 | 51

Gift

After a robbery goes bad, things get even stranger for four desperate hookers when they realize they’ve inadvertently kidnapped the Antichrist (J. Scott Green), who actually turns out to be a relatively fun dude. Aw. (Maxim Media, Dec. 30)

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t Wrea

and storylines disappear and reappear randomly (Shawnee Smith, as Charlie’s ex-wife, is always in the opening credits but rarely appears anymore—should have gotten her deal, Selma Blair), the show’s women are written so misogynistically that porn actresses would wince (the casting sheet probably just reads “Alcoholic Slut” and “Alcoholic Slut No. 2”) and the stench of We Don’t Care Anymore is thick (the last episode is actually titled “Charlie and the 100th Episode”). Which is why I’ve watched Every. Single. Episode. from the beginning. My morbid fascination with this death march is weird, for sure, but I have enjoyed watching the wheels fall off as it grinds toward its final destination. Anger Management may not have killed off the plague of the tradition sitcom, but I salute Sheen for trying (and for the adult-film starlettes, and the drug tolerance, and …). You’re a great American, Carlos Estevez. CW

Hell Fire

en & Flocked Christma s Tree Cut Gre h s e r s F hs, Garland & Poinset

The not-so-dearly-departed Selma Blair (left) and Carlos Estevez in happier times on FX’s Anger Management

Boat infomercial numbers. FX has been blowing through back-to-back episodes for months now just to get it over with by Christmas (by the way, exec who greenlit Anger Management’s back 90, your bonus this year is a Pasta Boat). The last time Anger Management made the news was when co-star Selma Blair threw herself off the money train last year by calling Sheen out on his supposedly lax work ethic—bam, fired, replaced overnight. Not to side with the “rock star from Mars” here, but can Blair really call a guy who’s cranking out 90 episodes in a year lazy? Making mediocre TV is hard work— just ask Ashton Kutcher and Jon Cryer. As I pointed out when I reviewed the premiere episode in 2012, Anger Management is still a better comedy than Two & a Half Men. That’s like saying herpes is better than gonorrhea, but where Men is run by a Hollywood hack who hasn’t had a new idea since the ’90s (Chuck Lorre) and takes itself seriously as a continuance of the “artform,” Anger Management is slowly suffocating the sitcom with a pillow. Most of the jokes never land (despite what the laugh track indicates), cast members

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n March 2011, Charlie Sheen was fired from CBS’ Two & a Half Men for being, well, more Charlie Sheen than he had been during production of the sitcom’s previous seven seasons. He then went on a public meltdown tour, the infamous scorchedearth “Winning” carnival that eventually became the actual My Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat Is Not An Option Tour. To further prove that he was sane and sober-ish, he also hosted the Gathering of the Juggalos that year, and dated and/or married a succession of adult-film starlettes. Naturally, this all led to another TV deal: FX, home to edgy comedies like It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Louie, Archer, The League and Wilfred, set up an unusual deal for Sheen and Anger Management, a sitcom wherein he plays an anger-management therapist conveniently named, as he was on Two & a Half Men, “Charlie.” The network ordered 10 episodes with the option to buy 90(!) more to take the series directly to $yndicationville, depending on the initial order’s reception. Even though Anger Management turned out to be just another hacky, laugh-tracked sitcom of the CBS variety wedged oddly into FX, the June 2012 premiere episode became the highest-rated comedy debut in cable history—which was 23 million fewer people than tuned in to see Ashton Kutcher replace him on Two & a Half Men. Different shades of Winning. Anger Management’s 100th and final episode airs Monday, Dec. 22, but you’d be hard-pressed to find anyone outside of FX who’s aware that it’s even still on. After the initial curiosity wore off, the show’s ratings have dwindled week by week, to the point now where it’s barely pulling Pasta

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52 | DECEMBER 18, 2014

Xmas Music

Xmas Xlassix 2014 Yeah, that technically reads “Christmas Christ-lassics,” but it looks as cool as these Xmas Xarols sound. By Randy Harward comments@cityweekly.net

hristmas music kicks ass. I mean that, which surprises me; I can be kind of a Scrooge. When the stores drag out their stanky cinnamon-scented pinecones in October, I seethe. (Seriously. Stop.) Carolers make me twitchy. But I’ve always liked novelty music. Christmas songs, silly or serious, are novelties—and the Internet is crawling with them. Every year, it’s a feast, and it’s a lot of fun. But I don’t know if I’ll be truly content until Gwar and Mama June do a duet called “Roast Beast.” Please, Santa?

Santa Claws & the Naughty But Nice Orchestra, “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap” (Hell’s Bells of Christmas: The Holiday Tribute to AC/DC, CMH, 2007)

the coming year. The real answer, however, comes in the song’s final verse: “You think we’re sitting around polishing our horns?/ Making soup with the blood of the Christian-born?/ You think I’m being rude?/ We go to the movies and eat Chinese food.” Now you know.

Bruce Haack, “I Like Christmas” (Badd Santa: A Stones Throw Records Xmas, Stones Throw, 2007)

Thee Snowglobe-lins, “Christmas Dog” (It’s a Team Mint Xmas Vol. 2!, Mint, 2004)

Late electronicmusic pioneer Bruce Haack initially released this on the kids’ Xmas compilation Zoot Zoot Zoot Here Comes Santa in His New Space Suit (Ra-jo International, 1981). It’s corny like that Mormon Sunday-school tune about popcorn; its joyously repetitive chorus conjures both old-school funkers Zapp and outsider music legend Wesley Willis. Plus, Haack made music for headphones, so “Christmas” is layered and trippy. And super weird: There’s a brief interpolation of “Silent Night,” a strange solo on what sounds like stoned steel drums, and someone singing “Christ mass” instead of “Christmas.”

Jaunty and kinda spac e y, this could’ve been a classic cartoon theme song. Except for the seasonal thing, and the fact that most moms won’t let their kids watch a show about a dog drunk on “egg-uh-nog” and high on China White while playing Santa. Hello? Adult Swim?

Bubbles & the Shitrockers, “Dear Santa Claus, Go Fuck Yourself” (single, ReverbNation.com, 2007)

So, how’d you rate at your annual performance review? Naughty? Nice? Meets expectations? Well, if you’re lookin’ at a loot-less holiday, this instrumental tribute/cover tune offers a bright side. Go into business for yourself, you rascal. Get paid for doin’ what you do best. Then buy yourself what you really want. Bonus track: They do “Mistress for Christmas,” too, ’cause they heard you like Xmas songs, so they made an Xmas version of an Xmas song for you.

Fellow Trailer Park Boys fans, this one’s for you. Uninitiated? Go directly to Netflix for all eight seasons of this Canadian series (plus three films, two concerts, a holiday prequel and an hour-long special). Foul-mouthed, kitty-loving, Rushadoring, dope-smoking, guitar-slinging, legally blind, strangely wise Bubbles (played by Mike Smith, former guitarist of ’90s alt-rockers Sandbox) is one of TV’s greatest characters. In this twangy, singleverse holiday chestnut, Bubbles breaks it down: “Christmas is the time/ to have your friends and family near/ smoking dope, eating turkey/ and drinkin’ beer/ It’s not about … / how much money you spent/ or wrasslin’ over toys/ at the crazy fuckin’ mall …/ So I say/ Dear Santa Claus, go fuck yourself.”

Atom & His Package, “What We Do on Christmas” (Making Love, No Idea, 1999)

The Jigsaw Seen, “Open Up the Box Pandora” (Gifted, Vibro-phonic, 2012)

Adam Goren is Jewish (Package TBD), so what’s he doin’ here? It’s like this: Gentiles always be askin’ what Goren does during Christmas when everybody else in the world celebrates. Goren says Jewish people are so busy running the media and counting money during the year, and Christmas—when everybody else in the world is preoccupied—is when they map out world-domination tactics for

MUSIC

An undercover hol iday son g (rea l ly, you’d never know) that borrows Johnny Marr’s gauzy, shimmering guitar sound to score creepy-cool lyrics about gift-giving. Also, the tone can be read as ominous, lustful or encouraging—which can completely change the story. That leads to serious yearlong replay value.

Heatscores, “Scrooge” (Double Crown Records Presents Seasonal Favorites, Vol. 1, Double Crown, 2007) The audience for a mashup of The Nightmare Before Christmas, A Christmas Carol and any 1980s Lucio Fulci spag-splatter film is probably thin. “Scrooge” starts like a movie trailer, with music straight from the school of Goblin (go-to soundtrackers of many Italian horror films), and this voiceover: “Acid rain … drug addiction … international terrorism … freeway killers. Now, more than ever, it is important to remember the true meaning of Christmas. Don’t miss Charles Dickens’ immortal classic Scrooge. Your life might just depend on it.” Then it’s two minutes of surf rock and spooky laughter and no Christmas cheer. Until the final minute, when a sobbing ghoul sings the chorus of “We Wish You a Merry Christmas.” If the description didn’t resonate with you before, consider it as the score for your holiday family dinner. Suddenly, it’s not so esoteric.

The Mojo Gurus, “Santa Won’t You Please Bring Me Some Beer” (single, MojoGurus.com, 2013)

These Tampa Bay blues rockers are basically late-’80s Tampa Bay hair band Roxx Gang, who signed to Virgin Records just in time to get teabagged by grunge. In Mojo Gurus, they dim the flash, turn down (a little) and keep the guitar solos, but make forays into blues, country, R&B and flamenco. “Lager or ale is the gift that never fails!” proclaim the Gurus in their 2013 holiday single. Truer words …

NRBQ, “Jingle Bells (live)” and “Christmas Wish” (Christmas Wish— Deluxe Edition, CLANG!, 2007)

Proudly versatile, NRBQ often invites audience members to put requests in their Magic Box. Later, they’ll draw a song and play it. Even if it’s one they don’t know. “Jingle Bells,” though. It’s boring, easy. Except this is Q! They give ol’ J.B. a manic, tootling trumpet treatment and a Mardi Gras vibe. There may even be a kazoo in there. But there’s another thing they do exceedingly well. To understand, watch the YouTube video for NRBQ’s “Christmas Wish,” and listen to it with your eyes closed. Your heart will grow three sizes. CW

| cityweekly.net |

| CITY WEEKLY |

DECEMBER 18, 2014 | 53

MUSIC

Disco Down and Donate Party and Costume Contest Saturday, Dec. 27th with

platinum party

1st, 2nd, & 3rd Place Prizes for GROOVIEST THREADS and MOST FAR OUT COUPLE! All proceeds will be donated to South Valley Services “Serving Domestic Violence Victims”

new years eve party

54 | DECEMBER 18, 2014

| CITY WEEKLY |

| cityweekly.net |

with one way

johnny Dec. 31st

TICKETS $12 ON SALE NOw

Live Music Dec 19th & 20th l.o.l

Monday Football on the Big Screens

giveaways & free $50 board

New York Steak and All You Can Eat Salad Bar Only $8.95

Karaoke

Tuesdays w/ KJ Sauce sing for progressive $ jackpot

Christmas eve we are closing at 6pm

closed

merry christmas from all of us at club 90!

fashion show

Friday 5pm-6pm free appetizers

Free Line-Dancing Lessons 7PM-8:30PM space is filling up fast for holiday parties & meetings

Call to book your space today. free pool everyday

FREE WI-FI

150 West 9065 south club90slc.com • 801.566.3254

Ever Westward  Westward the Tide, 2014’s Band of the Year, is never the same band twice. By Kolbie Stonehocker  kstonehocker@cityweekly.net  @vonstonehocker

n February, Salt Lake City/Provo indierock band Westward the Tide won the City Weekly Music Awards (now called Best of Utah Music) during the local-music showcase’s biggest year yet. Not only did the band walk away with the title of City Weekly’s 2014 Band of the Year, among other prizes, but Westward the Tide also won an opening slot at the Twilight Concert Series, the first time such an opportunity had been offered to a CWMA winner. But what stands out for the members of Westward the Tide the most about the experience is the relationships they were able to forge with fellow local bands by playing at the CWMAs, not the accolades and glory. “Making the connections with all those local bands was one of my favorite parts, playing with all those bands that I maybe normally would have never played with before,” says Westward the Tide guitarist, co-lead vocalist and songwriter Jackson Larsen. What he particularly enjoyed, he adds, was “listening to them, getting to hear their music live, and talking to them and getting to know them after.” Over the following months, Westward the Tide got many more chances to get better acquainted with the bands in the local music scene. In support of Westward the Tide’s debut full-length album, Sorry Soul— recorded with singer-songwriter/producer Joshua James at Willamette Mountain and released in March—the group brought highenergy performances to numerous local stages over the summer. Westward the Tide seemed to be everywhere: the Utah Beer Festival, Craft Lake City, Velour’s Cowboys & Indies, Provo’s Freedom Festival and more. “It was packed, it was nuts, but it’s what we wanted,” Larsen says. One significant outcome of all that stage time was that Larsen and the rest of the band—Kaitie Forbes (co-lead vocals, guitar), Cam Brannelly (drums), Cole Herrmann (bass) and Megan Larsen

The more the merrier: Westward the Tide values connections with other bands.

(backing vocals, keys, tambourine)—began experimenting more with how far they could push the envelope during live performances. “It’s mostly just, ‘OK, what can I challenge myself to try and make different this time that will be crazy fun, hopefully, and not a disaster?’ ” Larsen says. From toying with the endings of songs to inviting supporting bands onstage during finales, Westward the Tide made good on the goal that no two shows should be the same. “I just don’t want to feel like I’m going through the motions or whatever,” Larsen says. “I’m there and [the audience is] there, and it was a thing, and once we’re gone, that’ll never happen again. You come to another show, you have no idea what’s coming.” Fans will experience a similar sense of surprise when they hear the new music Westward the Tide has in the works, which, “music-wise, energy-wise, lyrically, everything, is genuinely us as us gets,” Larsen says. Compared with Everything Is, the band’s 2013 EP, Sorry Soul is darker and meatier, and Westward the Tide plan to continue striking new ground with their next record, which they’ll be traveling to Los Angeles in early January to record. “I don’t want to make that EP five times in a row and just be cozy,” Larsen says. “Honestly, I just want to make sure that whatever I’m making is whatever is in my brain, and so if whatever is in my brain isn’t coinciding with exactly how my last CD went, that’s fine with me.” As Westward the Tide pass the torch to the 2015 Band of the Year, they advise the next winner to embrace Best of Utah Music’s sense of camaraderie, not competition. “If you get there, don’t sit in your corner and do your thing and hope you win, and then go off,” Larsen says. “Because the relationships that you make with those people a lot of times will even benefit you further than if you just won some competition. “For us, winning was amazing, and the people we got to meet and become friends with, even more amazing.” CW

Westward the Tide

EVE Winter Fest  The Salt Palace  100 S. West Temple  Wednesday, Dec. 31 , 9 p.m.  $15 single day, $20 three-day pass  WestwardTheTide.com, EVESLC.com  Limited no-fee tickets available at CityWeeklyStore.com

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DECEMBER 18, 2014 | 55

featuring: moonshine bandits, big b, demun Jones

‘tis tHe seasOn tO be giving

| CITY WEEKLY |

rebels on the run

$100 CasH prize for ugliest sweater

balloon bash

Friday, January 9, 2015

porCH to porCH

giveaways & prizes all night toy drive in lieu of cover

new year’s eve * $500 CasH & ConCert tiCket priZes * liVe musiC * free reserVations * only $5 CoVer

boulevard

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| cityweekly.net |

HOURS 10:00 tO 7:00

fri

| cityweekly.net |

| CITY WEEKLY |

56 | DECEMBER 18, 2014

THIS WEEK’S MUSIC PICKS Friday 12.19

LIVE

Utah Blues Society Member Appreciation Party Originally founded in 1994 and resurrected by Tony Holiday in 2013 after a nearly 20-year hiatus, The Utah Blues Society is back and here to stay. In addition to upholding its mission of “keepin’ the blues alive” this year, The Utah Blues Society reached some important milestones in 2014, including attaining nonprofit status in November. The Utah Blues Society is throwing a free member-appreciation party to thank the dues-paying members of the society, but everyone is welcome to attend the celebration. From 7 to 8 p.m. will be a social hour, followed by a blues trivia quiz hosted by Brian Kelm, president of the society and host of the show Red, White & Blues on KRCL. The rest of the evening will be dedicated to live music, with performances

DJ Flash & Flare

CITYWEEKLY.NET

BY KO L B IE S TO N EH O CK ER

@vonstonehocker

casey romney

Devil Whale of a Christmas If awkward office Christmas parties aren’t your thing but you’re in the mood to party holiday-style, come enjoy live local music and Christmas merriment at Devil Whale of a Christmas. Hosted by Salt Lake City rock band The Devil Whale and now in its 11th year, Devil Whale of a Christmas is meant to showcase local music, gather together local musicians and their friends, and celebrate the festive season. This year’s lineup includes psych-rock/blues bands Max Pain & the Groovies and The North Valley and rock acts The Pleasure Thieves and Starmy. The Urban Lounge, 241 S. 500 East, 9 p.m., free, TheUrbanLoungeSLC.com

COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE

from the River House Band, Candy’s River House Band and more names that will be revealed that night. The State Room, 638 S. State, 7 p.m., free, TheStateRoom.com

Saturday 12.20

10th-Annual Cocktail Party: DJ Flash & Flare Remember that episode of Mad Men where Sterling Cooper staffers fill the water cooler with crème de menthe and everyone gets hammered while they’re waiting to hear the results of the Nixon/Kennedy presidential election? The moral of the story is that crème de menthe is gross, but also that where alcohol goes, a party will follow—which is probably one reason why The Urban Lounge is celebrating the 10th anniversary of its annual cocktail party this year. At tonight’s free event, partiers are invited to imbibe fancy cocktails from the bar, mix and mingle, and—once that holiday spirit has got you good and limbered up—dance to fresh beats from genre-masher DJ Flash & Flare. The Urban Lounge, 241 S. 500 East, 9 p.m., free before 10 p.m., $4 after 10 p.m., TheUrbanLoungeSLC.com Velour All-Star Christmas Special 2014 Leave it to Velour to pull off a show of this magnitude—in one night, no less. For Velour’s All-Star Christmas Special, 25(!) local music veterans and newcomers will take to the stage for a night of stellar live music and holiday cheer. In short, this will be a must-see event. The lineup will feature VanLadyLove (indie-rock/pop), Timmy the Teeth, The Strike (pop rock/funk), Colby Stead, Isaac & Spencer Russell, Quiet House (folk-core), Devin Powell,

The North Valley Porch Lights (indie folk), Officer Jenny (pop), The National Parks (indie rock), Faith Johnson, Joshua James, Ryan Innes, House of Lewis (hip-hop), Mindy Gledhill, Desert Noises (indie rock/blues rock), Coral Bones (indie pop/electronic), Robbie & Caitlin Connolly, Tess Comrie, The Brocks (indie rock/electronic), Book on Tape Worm (folk rock/pop), The Blue Aces (pop rock), Jenn Blosil, Bat Manors (indie dream pop) and John Allred. This will be the last Velour concert until Jan. 2 and seats are limited, so get those tickets soon. Velour, 135 N. University Ave., Provo, 8:30 p.m., $8, VelourLive.com

Porch Lights

Home of Hockey w/ games starting daily at 5pm. Come watCh your Favorite sport team on our 150” tv!

sun mon t u e wed thu F r i sat

Football with $3 bloody mary’s slC pong @ 9:00pm taCos & tequila tuesday’s themed poker games on wednesday’s karaoke w/wolFgang @ 9:00pm to be announCed live musiC

ThePenaltyBoxSLC.com | 3 W 4800 S, Murray | Facebook/thepenaltybox

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| cityweekly.net |

shuffleboard pool • darts best mac & cheese

| CITY WEEKLY |

DECEMBER 18, 2014 | 57

craft sabbath

thursday, December 18 The Starfish Throwers Park City Film Series

ReduxNUT-Cracker Dec 18th Kingsbury Hall

Margie Chadburn Release Party and Show Velour

Friday, December 19 Merry Blissmas The Royal

Tommy Castro & the Painkillers

| cityweekly.net |

check us First! low or no Fees!

12.7

Sunday 12.21

upcoming events:

Find us for free stuff!

Saturday 12/20

| CITY WEEKLY |

58 | DECEMBER 18, 2014

LIVE Steve Sherman

check out photos from...

Tommy Castro & the Painkillers In 2012, California blues-rock vocalist/ guitarist Tommy Castro took his career in an entirely new direction. Up till that point, he’d been playing his music backed by a horn section, but with the formation of his new guitar-driven band, The Painkillers, Castro’s style took on even more grit and fire. And the relationship seems like it’s a musically harmonious one. Tommy Castro & the Painkillers’ debut album, The Devil You Know, released earlier this year, is a swaggering powerhouse that features original material and covers of songs by classic blues artists such as J.B. Lenoir. And Castro and Co. bring plenty of energy to every track, making good on their name. “A lot of folks are having hard times these days,” Castro says in a press release. “And they need something to lift them up and make them smile—our music kills the pain.” Egyptian Theatre, 328 Main, Park City, 8 p.m., also Dec. 22-23, $23-$35 in advance, $28-$40 at the door, EgyptianTheatreCompany.org

Coming Soon

9-9:45pm

10-10:45pm

11-11:45PM

Cedric Gervais (Dec. 27, Park City Live), Elephant Revival, Taarka (Dec. 30-31, The State Room), Max Pain & the Groovies Album Release (Dec. 31, The Urban Lounge), LA Riots (Dec. 31, The Depot), Legends 2014: Feed Me, The Crystal Method, Overwerk, Jackal (Dec. 31, The Great Saltair)

Super Troup Liquid Joe’s

ReduxNUT-Cracker Dec 19th Kingsbury Hall

One Chance

Park City Film Series

monday, December 22

ReduxNUT-Cracker Dec 22nd Kingsbury Hall

Friday, December 26

PE: Phundamental Education Urban Lounge

K2: Siren of the Himalayas Park City Film Series

monday, December 29 Eve 2015

Downtown SLC

tuesday, December 30

Elephant Revival December 30th The State Room

wednesday, December 31

Elephant Revival December 31st The State Room

Visit cityweeklytix.com For more shows & Details!

Bar exam

Complete listings online @ cityweekly.net Explore the latest in Utah’s nightlife scene, from dives to dance clubs and sports bars to cocktail lounges. Send tips & updates to comments@cityweekly.net Scorez

On the outside, it may seem like a hole-in-the-wall sports bar, but what sets Scorez apart is its cold beer and extremely hospitable staff. After a few visits, the bartenders will remember your name and your drink. The patrons and staff are down to earth and willing to chat or just leave you be, depending on your mood. 571 N. State, Lehi, 801-768-9085 Old Towne Tavern

Three Alarm Saloon

Fats Grill & Pool

It’s all about pool at Fats, which has seven wellmaintained tables. Music is probably a close second. The giant paintings of Jimmy Page and Jerry Garcia are your first clue; the next is the 98-capacity music venue downstairs where local bands play on Fridays and Saturdays. Fats’ burgers and pizza are also renowned for ridiculous deliciousness and, of course, there are several great beers available. 2182 S. Highland Drive, Salt Lake City, 801-4849467, FatsGrillSLC.com

Don’t stand too close to the bar when the alarm sounds at the Three Alarm Saloon; you’re apt to singe your eyebrows. The fire-breathing bartenders will put on a show for you unlike any other—if it gets too hot inside, head out to the patio. If you get there after the kitchen closes—or get hungry after last call—the $1 tacos at the taco cart outside are among the best in town. 7273 S. State, Midvale, 801-562-5252

| cityweekly.net |

You know you’ve arrived at a distinct watering hole when the median employment length is more than 10 years. Bartenders just don’t leave; neither do customers. Some loyal quaffers even come in early for 9 a.m. coffee and stick around for lunch beers. 7662 S. Main, Midvale, 801-566-3172

DECEMBER 18, 2014 | 59

Uncle Bart’s is a no-frills dive bar where newcomers get treated like regulars. It’s perfect for making your karaoke debut on Thursdays. Just show up and sing; there’s no daunting stage, just a casual opening of chairs. A few feet away, a small but appreciative crowd will cheer you on. If that’s not enough, there’s live music on the weekends, and pool and darts to be enjoyed while sipping a cool mug of beer. Don’t be surprised if you bump into local musicians known to rehearse at the nearby Downtown Music warehouse. They might even show up for the Sunday jam session. 837 S. Main, Salt Lake City, 801-532-9068

| CITY WEEKLY |

Uncle Bart’s

| cityweekly.net |

| CITY WEEKLY |

60 | DECEMBER 18, 2014

SHOTS IN THE DARK

BY AUSTEN DIAMOND @austendiamond

live music

FRI 12/19 Gamma rays SAT 12/20 Who knoWs band NEXT WEEK! SAT 12/27

royal bliss $10 cover

Mark Whiting, Amanda Drake, Emily West, Joel Ridder

SAT 12/31

neW year’s eve party!

W/dj latu

weeknights MON

our famous oPEN BLuE Jam with wEst tEmPLE taiLdraggErs

tue wed

Johnny’s on SecoSonutdh

LocaLs Night out trivia 7Pm

OPEN

11AM-2AM

DAILY

lunch special mon-fri

saturday

165 E. 200 4 801-746-333 m second.co n o ys n n joh

Paige Slagowski, Haley Bowen

open @ 10am for $10 Brunch BuffeT

sunday funday The onlY $12 BreaKfasT BuffeT in ToWn! 7pm ADULT TRIVIA EVERY SUNDAY $12 SUNDAY bRUNch / $3 bLooDY mARY / $3 mImoSA

31 E 400 S, SLC (801) 532-7441 THEGREENPIGPUB.COM

Nick Court, Haley Van Tassell

Caleen Baldwin

The City Weekly Music Awards

Wed 12/17:

salt lick Nights

with CanDy’S river hoUSe + templeS + Darin Caine & the hellhoUnD expreSS + Jana & the rebelS + Chela lUJan(oF haUnteD winDChimeS) Fri 12/19:

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girl oN Fire

FREE COVER

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BEFORE 12/30/14 201 E 300 S, SLC / 519-8900 / t a v e r n a c l e . c o m

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have always showcased the best!

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suN 12/28:

Jessie davis

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sl.ut PuNk takeover NYe Coming Up

E Music

open Mon-Sat 6pM-1aM 668 South State - 801.532.2914

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Formerly

January 2015 online voting

DECEMBER 18, 2014 | 61

Visit cityweekly.net/bestofutahmusic for more details.

| CITY WEEKLY |

Presenting Prize sPonsored By:

FeBruary 2015 live shows

dA i ly l u n c h s p e c i A l s pool, foosbAll & gAmes

2015

| cityweekly.net |

Jan 9th: Samba Fogo Jan 16th: SkUll FiSt Jan 17th: mobile DeathCamp Jan 24th: the toaSterS Feb 3rD: mUrDer by Death www.bardeluxeslc.com

OF UTA T S

| cityweekly.net |

| CITY WEEKLY |

62 | DECEMBER 18, 2014

CONCERTS & CLUBS

City Weekly’s Hot List for the Week

Complete listings online @ cityweekly.net

Sounds of Satellites johnnySonSEcond. com

home of the $ shot & A beer

friday

DJ ruDe boy DJ marl cologne w/ bad boy brian saturday

the milf shakes

4760 S 900 E, SLC 801-590-9940 | facebook.com/theroyalslc

❱ Bar | Nightclub | Music | Sports ❰

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dEc 20 9pm

In a recent interview with the blog Musicology Online, guitarist Sean Fadling of Sounds of Satellites said that what makes the California band’s music stand out is that “it’s honest music, and people seem to connect with that.” One area that seems to particularly reflect that honesty is Sounds of Satellites’ lyrics. Written in a style that sounds like someone is pouring every ounce of frustration, anger and disappointment into a journal that they don’t expect anyone to read, the lyrics on Sounds of Satellites’ debut album, March’s God in Quotes, are jagged and acidic. In “Lead Clouds,” lead vocalist Chance Espinoza shout-sings, “God, do you screen your calls?/ Because I can’t hear you./ Did heaven build a wall to shut me out?” And those words are a fitting match for Sounds of Satellites’ hard-hitting sound, which is made up of pounding percussion and intricate, ear-grating guitar. (Kolbie Stonehocker) Friday, Dec. 19 @ Kilby Court, 741 S. Kilby Court (330 West), 8 p.m., $6, KilbyCourt.com

Thursday 12.18

monday

mnf betting boarD

Ogden Thirsty Thursday With DJ Battleship (The Century Club)

Salt Lake City

you vs the board free to play!

win $100 in j.Cash wednesday - dec 24

San Francisco

saturday 12/20

Jersey give away

Country Benefit for Women and Children in Distress: The Dirt Road Devils, Sister Pistol (Canyon Inn) Live Band Karaoke With TIYB (Club 90) Lark & Spur (Gallivan Center) Marty Lyman Trio (Gracie’s) Karaoke (Habits) Morgan Snow (The Hog Wallow Pub) DJ Erockalypze (Inferno Cantina) Sounds Like Teen Spirit (Liquid Joe’s) Open Mic (Pat’s Barbecue) Cobol, Bello, Artemis (The Urban Lounge) Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge)

Cowboy Karaoke (Cisero’s) Local Vibes With The Planetaries (Downstairs) Yeah Buddy (The Spur Bar & Grill)

Utah County Sub for Santa Benefit Show: Kathleen Frewin, Alarm Call, Mihaly (Muse Music Cafe) Margie Chadburn Christmas Album Release (Velour)

taste one of

football

r or Gr ey Go os e Sp rit ze il Pi ed Pi pe r Co ck ta

nfl sunday ticket coming Soon! NYE 2015: Ft. Bad Boy Brian

enJoy your cocktails & cigarettes on our heateD patio

dallas Jersey giveaway great food specials

bloody mary’s, mimosas, & Bud tallboys

every MOnday

50¢ WINGS

Monday night Football

$3 bud tallboys & food specials every tuesday

open mic night

YOU Never KNow WHO WILL SHOW UP TO PERFORM

coming soon 12/31

165 E 200 S Slc 801.746.3334

new year's eve PARTY w/ DJ Butch Wolfhorn ALL SHOW TICKETS AVAILABLE AT SMITHSTIX OR AT THE ROYAL

our

12 Drinks of X-mas!

$4 Well you call it shots & cocktails

every sunday

Park City

136 E. 12300 S. | 801.571.8134

4 th D e ce m b e r 1 3 -2

mOndays

wednesdays

Fridays

new 50 wings & $ 7.5 domestic pitchers

3 Fried Burritos 5.5 draft Beer & a shot

ryan hymas

tUesdays 50¢ tacos, $2.5 tecate Live mUsic LOcaL mUsicians

12.17 | Ugliest Sweater Krazy Karaoke Party

thUrsdays $ 1 sliders & Live music

satUrdays

sUndays $3.5 B-fast Burritos

Open christmas eve | new years eve | new years day!

big redd promotions presents

CONCERTS & CLUBS Complete listings online @ cityweekly.net

Friday 12.19 Salt Lake City

Ogden Park City Eric McFadden, Tony Holiday (The Cabin) PC Underground: DJ Yada, DJ Shields (Cisero’s) BeatSessions: DJ Dolph (Downstairs) Matt Wink Band (The Spur Bar & Grill)

Utah County

dark divide

december 27th 8:00 $5 door/ must be 21+ gift certificates aVailaBle at

great

4242 s. state

food & drink

specials

801-265-9889

Ogden The Cover Dogs (Brewskis) Phatso, Opey Tailor, Legion the A.K. (Kamikazes) Wild Country (The Outlaw Saloon)

Park City

Join us at Rye Diner and Drinks for dinner and craft cocktails before, during and after the show. Late night bites 6pm-midnight Monday through Saturday and brunch everyday of the week. Rye is for early birds and late owls and caters to all ages www.ryeslc.com

DJ Battleship (Cisero’s) 3LAU (Park City Live) Sin City Soul (The Spur Bar & Grill)

Utah County Velour All-Star Christmas Special: VanLadyLove, Timmy the Teeth, Porch Lights, The National Parks and More (Velour)

Sunday 12.21 Salt Lake City Live Bluegrass (Club 90) The Steel Belts (Donkey Tails) Karaoke Church With DJ Ducky & Mandrew (Jam) Entourage Karaoke (Piper Down) Sunday Funday Karaoke (Three Alarm Saloon) Karaoke That Doesn’t Suck (The Woodshed)

Park City

Monday 12.22

Salt Lake City

Park City Tommy Castro & the Painkillers (Egyptian Theatre) Matt Wink (The Spur Bar & Grill)

8 PM DOORS

BLACKALICIOUS

Scenic Byway, Better taSte Bureau

Dec 18:

THE BEE:

Dec 18:

NIGHT FREQ TAKEOVER:

6:30 PM DOORS

9 PM DOORS

true StOrieS FrOM tHe HiVe

Dec 23:

8 PM DOORS FREE SHOW

Dec 20:

8 PM DOORS FREE BEFORE 10& $4 AFTER

PaLace OF BuddieS, BirtHquake, cOyOte ViSiOn GrOuP

Dec 26: PLayScOOL PreSentS- Pe:

8 PM DOORS

PHUNDAMENTAL EDUCATION Mark e. quark

cOBOL, BeLLO, arteMiS

Dec 19:

GIRAFFULA

DEVIL WHALE OF A CHRISTMAS!

Max Pain & tHe GrOOVieS, tHe nOrtH VaLLey, StarMy, PLeaSure tHieVeS

10TH ANNUAL COCKTAIL PARTY!

Dec 27:

EAGLE TWIN

Dec 30:

PSYCH LAKE CITY NIGHT #1

9 PM DOORS

8 PM DOORS FREE SHOW

FLaSH & FLare

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dark SeaS, BreakerS, SeaSOn OF tHe witcH, red teLePHOne

COMING SOON Dec 23: FREE SHOW Giraffula Dec 26: Playscool presents PE: Phundamental Education Dec 27: Eagle Twin & Cult Leader Dec 30: PSYCH LAKE CITY NYE NIGHT #1: Dark Seas, Breakers, Season Of The Witch, Red Telephone Dec 31: Max Pain & The Groovies, Flash & Flare, Matty Mo Jan 1: First Mistakes Party Jan 2: Dubwise Jan 3: The North Valley Jan 7: FREE SHOW L’Anarchiste Jan 8: FREE SHOW Pleasure Thieves Jan 9: Merchant Royal Jan 10: Dirt First Jan 12: Zola Jesus Jan 14: FREE SHOW Beachmen Jan 15: FREE SHOW Seven Feathers Rainwater Jan 16: Nightfreq

Jan 17: Desert Noises Jan 19: Aesop Rock w/ DJ Rob Sonic Jan 22: Saga Outdoor Retailers Party Jan 23: Hell’s Belles Jan 24: Hell’s Belles Jan 26: Heaps & Heaps Jan 27: Tig Notaro Jan 28: FREE SHOW Scenic Byway Jan 29: Breakers Jan 30: Tokimonsta Feb 3: Joy Feb 4: Giant Feb 6: DUBWISE with Roommate Feb 7: City Weekly’s Best of Utah Music Winners Show: L’Anarchiste, King Niko, Westward The Tide

Feb 10: Scott H Biram Feb 11: St. Paul & The Broken Bones Feb 12: Cursive Feb 13: Ariel Pink Feb 15: The Floozies Feb 17: Corners Feb 27: Zion I Mar 7: Doomtree Mar 15: The Dodos Mar 26: Public Service Broadcasting Mar 31: Stars Apr 21: Twin Shadow

DECEMBER 18, 2014 | 63

Monday Night Jazz Session (Gracie’s) Open Blues Jam (The Green Pig Pub) Karaoke (Poplar Street Pub) DJ Babylon Down, Roots Rawka (The Woodshed)

Dec 17:

| CITY WEEKLY |

Open Mic (Cisero’s) Tommy Castro & the Painkillers (Egyptian Theatre) Open Mic (The Spur Bar & Grill)

Saturday 12.20 Rage Against the Supremes (A Bar Named Sue) Porch to Porch (A Bar Named Sue on State) Guy Benson (Bleu Bistro) LOL (Club 90) The Piano Guys (EnergySolutions Arena) Stonefed (Fats Grill & Pool) Color Animal, The Circulars, Strong Words (The Garage)

with performances by

Magda-Vega, Johnny Slaughter & the Bipolar Express (ABG’s) Acoustic Christmas: Eidola, My Fair Fiend, Men With Matches (Muse Music Cafe) Mallory Trunnell, Kaitie Forbes, Kat Roemer (Velour)

come on down, chill and have a drink after christmas

Miss Omega (Brewskis) Wild Country (The Outlaw Saloon)

After christmAs show-

| cityweekly.net |

Herban Empire (A Bar Named Sue) Caveman Blvd (A Bar Named Sue on State) Razihel (Area 51) Girl on Fire, Raw Fabrics, Zodiac Empire (Bar Deluxe) LOL (Club 90) Minx (Fats Grill & Pool) The Weekenders (The Garage) Apres Ski With DJ Gawel, DJ Matty Mo (Gracie’s) The Gamma Rays (The Green Pig Pub) Stonefed (The Hog Wallow Pub) DJ Bentley, Luva Luva (Inferno Cantina) Brian Ward Band, Dirt Cheap, Pedestrians, Renee Plant Band (Liquid Joe’s) Buttons (The Loading Dock) Bonanza Town (Pins & Ales) Royal Bliss, American Hitmen, Opal Hill Drive (The Royal) DJ Jarvicious, DJ Bad Boy Brian (Sandy Station) Devil Whale of a Christmas: The Devil Whale, Max Pain & the Groovies, The North Valley, Starmy, Pleasure Thieves (The Urban Lounge) Night Train (The Westerner)

Who Knows Band (The Green Pig Pub) DJ Scotty B (Habits) Tony Holiday & the Velvetones (The Hog Wallow Pub) Eat, Pray, House: EC Twins (The Hotel/ Club Elevate) The MILF Shakes (Johnny’s on Second) The Spazmatics (Liquid Joe’s) Nick Thomas, My Body Sings Electric (The Loading Dock) DJ Butch Wolfthorn (The Royal) DJ E-Flexx, Karaoke With DJ B-Rad (Sandy Station) 10th-Annual Cocktail Party With DJ Flash & Flare (The Urban Lounge) Dead Lake Trio, Big Blue Ox (The Woodshed)

| cityweekly.net |

| CITY WEEKLY |

64 | DECEMBER 18, 2014

VENUE DIRECTORY

live music & karaoke

5 MONKEYS 7 E. 4800 South, Murray, 801266-1885, Karaoke, Free pool, Live music A BAR NAMED SUE 3928 S. Highland Drive, SLC, 801-274-5578, Trivia Tues., DJ Wed., Karaoke Thurs. A BAR NAMED SUE ON STATE 8136 S. State, SLC, 801-566-3222, Karaoke Tues. ABG’S LIBATION EMPORIUM 190 W. Center St., Provo, 801-373-1200, Live music ALLEGED 205 25th St., Ogden, 801-990-0692 AREA 51 451 S. 400 West, SLC, 801-534-0819, Karaoke Wed., ‘80s Thur., DJs Fri. & Sat. BAR DELUXE 666 S. State, SLC, 801-5322914, Live music & DJs THE BAR IN SUGARHOUSE 2168 S. Highland Drive, SLC, 801-485-1232 BAR-X 155 E. 200 South, SLC, 801-355-2287 BARBARY COAST 4242 S. State, Murray, 801-265-9889 BATTERS UP 1717 S. Main, SLC, 801-4634996, Karaoke Tues., Live music Sat. THE BAYOU 645 S. State, SLC, 801-9618400, Live music Fri. & Sat. BOURBON HOUSE 19 E. 200 South, SLC, 801746-1005, Local jazz jam Tues., Karaoke Thur., Live music Sat., Funk & soul night Sun. BREWSKIS 244 25th St., Ogden, 801-3941713, Live music BURT’S TIKI LOUNGE 726 S. State, SLC, 801-521-0572, Live music CANYON INN 3700 E. Fort Union, SLC, 801943-6969, DJs CAROL’S COVE II 3424 S. State, SLC, 801466-2683, Karaoke Thur., DJs & Live music Fri. & Sat. The Century CLUB 315 24th St., Ogden, 801-781-5005, DJs CHEERS TO YOU 315 S. Main, SLC, 801575-6400 CHEERS TO YOU Midvale 7642 S. State, 801-566-0871 CHUCKLE’S LOUNGE 221 W. 900 South, SLC, 801-532-1721 CIRCLE LOUNGE 328 S. State, SLC, 801-5315400, DJs CISERO’S 306 Main, Park City, 435-649-5044, Karaoke Thur., Live music & DJs CLUB 48 16 E. 4800 South, Murray, 801262-7555 CLUB 90 9065 S. 150 West, Sandy, 801-5663254, Trivia Mon., Poker Thur., Live music Fri. & Sat., Live bluegrass Sun. CLUB DJ’S 3849 W. 5400 South, Murray, 801964-8575, Karaoke Tues., Thur. & Sun., Free pool Wed. & Sun., DJ Fri. & Sat. CLUB TRY-ANGLES 251 W. 900 South, SLC, 801-364-3203, Mid-week movie Wed., Karaoke Thur., DJs Fri. & Sat. club x 445 S. 400 West, SLC, 801-9354267, DJs, Live music THE COMPLEX 536 W. 100 South, SLC, 801528-9197, Live music CRUZRS SALOON 3943 S. Highland Drive, SLC, 801-272-1903, Free pool Wed. & Thurs., Karaoke Fri. & Sat. DAWG POUND 3350 S. State, SLC, 801-2612337, Live music THE DEERHUNTER PUB 2000 N. 300 West, Spanish Fork, 801-798-8582, Live music Fri. & Sat. THE DEPOT 400 W. South Temple, SLC, 801355-5522, Live music

DEVIL’S DAUGHTER 533 S. 500 West, SLC, 801-532-1610, Karaoke Wed., Live music Fri. & Sat. DONKEY TAILS CANTINA 136 E. 12300 South, Draper, 801-571-8134. Karaoke Wed.; Live music Tues., Thurs. & Fri. Live DJ Sat. DOWNSTAIRS 625 Main, Park City, 435226-5340, Live music & DJs ELIXIR LOUNGE 6405 S. 3000 East, Holladay, 801-943-1696 The Fallout 625 S. 600 West, SLC, 801953-6374, Live Music FAT’S GRILL 2182 S. Highland Drive, SLC, 801-484-9467, Live music THE FILLING STATION 8987 W. 2700 South, Magna, 801-250-1970, Karaoke Thur. FLANAGAN’S ON MAIN 438 Main, Park City, 435-649-8600, Trivia Tues., Live music Fri. & Sat. FOX HOLE PUB & GRILL 7078 S. Redwood Road, West Jordan, 801-566-4653, Karaoke & Live music FUNK ’N DIVE BAR 2550 Washington Blvd., Ogden, 801-621-3483, Live music THE GARAGE 1199 Beck St., SLC, 801-5213904, Live music GINO’S 3556 S. State, SLC, 801-268-1811, Live music GRACIE’S 326 S. West Temple, SLC, 801-8197565, Live music, DJs THE GREAT SALTAIR 12408 W. Saltair Drive, Magna, 801-250-6205, Live music THE GREEN PIG PUB 31 E. 400 South, SLC, 801-532-7441, Live music Thur.-Sat. HABITS 832 E. 3900 South, SLC, 801-2682228, Poker Mon., Ladies night Tues., ’80s night Wed., Karaoke Thur., DJs Fri. & Sat. HIGHLANDER 6194 S. Highland Drive, SLC, 801-277-8251, Karaoke 7 nights a week THE HOG WALLOW PUB 3200 E. Big Cottonwood Canyon Road, SLC, 801-733-5567, Live music The HOTEL/Club ELEVATE 155 W. 200 South, SLC, 801-478-4310, DJs HUKA BAR & GRILL 151 E. 6100 South, Murray, 801-281-9665, Reggae Tues., DJs Fri. & Sat. IN THE VENUE/CLUB SOUND 219 S. 600 West, SLC, 801-359-3219, Live music & DJs INFERNO CANTINA 122 W. Pierpont Ave., SLC, 801-883-8838, DJs Tues.-Sat. JACKALOPE LOUNGE 372 S. State, SLC, 801-359-8054, DJs JAM 751 N. 300 West, SLC, 801-891-1162, Karaoke Tues., Wed. & Sun., DJs Thur.-Sat. JOHNNY’S ON SECOND 165 E. 200 South, SLC, 801-746-3334, DJs Tues. & Fri., Karaoke Weds., Live music Sat. KARAMBA 1051 E. 2100 South, SLC, 801696-0639, DJs KEYS ON MAIN 242 S. Main, SLC, 801-3633638, Karaoke Tues. & Wed., Dueling pianos Thur.-Sat. KILBY COURT 741 S. Kilby Court (330 West), SLC, 801-364-3538, Live music, all ages KRISTAUF’S 16 W. Market St., SLC, 801-9431696, DJ Fri. & Sat. THE LEPRECHAUN INN 4700 S. 900 East, Murray, 801-268-3294 LIQUID JOE’S 1249 E. 3300 South, SLC, 801467-5637, Live music Tues.-Sat. The Loading Dock 445 S. 400 West, SLC, 385-229-4493, Live music, all ages

LUCKY 13 135 W. 1300 South, SLC, 801-4874418, Trivia Wed. LUMPY’S DOWNTOWN 145 Pierpont Ave., SLC, 801-938-3070 LUMPY’S HIGHLAND 3000 S. Highland Drive, SLC, 801-484-5597 THE MADISON/THE COWBOY 295 W. Center St., Provo, 801-375-9000, Live music, DJs MAXWELL’S EAST COAST EATERY 9 Exchange Place, SLC, 801-328-0304, Poker Tues., DJ Fri. & Sat. METRO BAR 615 W. 100 South, SLC, 801652-6543, DJs THE MOOSE LOUNGE 180 W. 400 South, SLC, 801-900-7499, DJs MUSE MUSIC CAFÉ 151 N. University Ave., Provo, Open mic, live music, all ages NO NAME SALOON 447 Main, Park City, 435-649-6667 PARK CITY LIVE 427 Main, Park City, 435649-9123, Live music PAT’S BBQ 155 W. Commonwealth Ave., SLC, 801-484-5963, Live music Thurs.-Sat., All ages The penalty box 3 W. 4800 South, Murray, 801-590-9316, Karaoke Tues., Live Music, DJs PIPER DOWN 1492 S. State, SLC, 801-4681492, Poker Mon., Acoustic Tues., Trivia Wed., Bingo Thurs. POPLAR STREET PUB 242 S. 200 West, SLC, 801-532-2715, Live music Thur.-Sat. THE RED DOOR 57 W. 200 South, SLC, 801363-6030, DJ Fri., Live jazz Sat. THE ROYAL 4760 S. 900 East, SLC, 801590-9940, Live music SANDY STATION 8925 Harrison St., Sandy, 801-255-2078 SCALLYWAGS 3040 S. State, SLC, 801604-0869 THE SPUR BAR & GRILL 352 Main, Park City, 435-615-1618, Live music THE STATE ROOM 638 S. State, SLC, 800501-2885, Live music THE STEREO ROOM 521 N. 1200 West, Orem, 714-345-8163, Live music, All ages SUGARHOUSE PUB 1992 S. 1100 East, SLC, 801-413-2857 THE TAVERNACLE 201 E. 300 South, SLC, 801-519-8900, Dueling pianos Wed.-Sat., Karaoke Sun.-Tues. TIN ANGEL CAFE 365 W. 400 South, SLC, 801-328-4155, Live music THE URBAN LOUNGE 241 S. 500 East, SLC, 801-746-0557, Live music VELOUR 135 N. University Ave., Provo, 801818-2263, Live music, All ages WASTED SPACE 342 S. State, SLC, 801-5312107, DJs Thur.-Sat. THE WESTERNER 3360 S. Redwood Road, West Valley City, 801-972-5447, Live music WILLIE’S LOUNGE 1716 S. Main, SLC, 760-828-7351, Trivia Wed., Karaoke Fri.-Sun., Live music THE WOODSHED 60 E. 800 South, SLC, 801-364-0805, Karaoke Sun. & Tues., Open jam Wed., Reggae Thur., Live music Fri. & Sat. ZEST KITCHEN & BAR 275 S. 200 West, SLC, 801-433-0589, DJs

CONCERTS & CLUBS Complete listings online @ cityweekly.net

Royal Bliss Despite once being dubbed the “unluckiest band in rock,” Salt Lake City alt-rock band Royal Bliss has continued to move upward since coming together in 1997. The band’s latest project, full-length album Chasing the Sun—released in February—showcases Royal Bliss’ ability to blend the strong vocals of lead singer Neal Middleton, gritty guitar and driving percussion to create a raucous but classic hard-rock sound. Royal Bliss is performing at their venue The Royal as part of their series of local Merry Blissmas shows, so you can most likely expect to hear a rendition of their new Christmas song, “I Just Want You (for Christmas).” Also on the bill will be fellow local rock acts American Hitmen and Opal Hill Drive. (Nathan Turner) Friday, Dec. 19 @ The Royal, 4760 S. 900 East, 8 p.m., $12 in advance, $15 day of show, TheRoyalSLC.com; limited no-fee tickets available at CityWeeklyStore.com

Tuesday 12.23

Wednesday 12.24

Salt Lake City

Open Mic (Alchemy Coffee) Punk Rock Christmas (Bar Deluxe) Nights to Remember: DJ Jpan, DJ Bentley (Canyon Inn) Karaoke With KJ Sauce (Club 90) Red Rock Hot Club (Gracie’s) Taboo Tuesday Karaoke (Three Alarm Saloon) Giraffula, Palace of Buddies, Birthquake, Coyote Vision Group (The Urban Lounge) Karaoke That Doesn’t Suck (The Woodshed)

Eighth Day (5 Monkeys) Karaoke (Area 51) Jim Guss Trio (Bleu Bistro) Wednesduhh! Karaoke (Jam) Open Mic (Liquid Joe’s) Entourage Karaoke (Piper Down) DJ Matty Mo (Willie’s Lounge) Jam Night Featuring Dead Lake Trio (The Woodshed)

Park City Tommy Castro & the Painkillers (Egyptian Theatre) Brian Koviak (The Spur Bar & Grill)

AppY hoUr EVErYDAY

Ogden Karaoke Wheel of Chance With KJ Sparetire (The Century Club) Karaoke (The Outlaw Saloon)

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| CITY WEEKLY • ADULT |

anonymously Confess your

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DECEMBER 18, 2014 | 65

i slept with my best friend’s husband

ÂŠ 2014

BY DAVID LEVINSON WILK

Across

Last weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s answers

Solutions available on request via e-mail: Sudoku@cityweekly.net.

1. Solo on screen 2. "Solve for x" subj. 3. "I wish!" 4. Sends regrets, perhaps 5. Blacktail or whitetail 6. Norah Jones's "Tell ____ Mama" 7. Trapped 8. Big Apple neighborhood 9. Skating jumps

41. Mistreatment 42. ____ office 44. Japanese "yes" 46. Third of September? 47. "Right you ____!" 48. "Cheers" actor Danson

No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

Down

10. ____ Bible 11. Response: Abbr. 12. Slowed down 14. Not so gloomy 16. Company that makes Scrabble 19. Genesis locale 21. Coral reef dwellers 22. Billboards, e.g. 23. First president of the Czech Republic 25. 1971 Oscar winner for "Theme from 'Shaft'" 27. Fogs 28. Listened up, quaintly 29. Shoots for the moon 30. Most withdrawn 32. Construction crew 33. Aaron of Cooperstown 35. Geiger of Geiger counter fame 36. Hem and ____ 37. Trollop 38. Summer top 39. Selassie of Ethiopia 40. Metal fasteners

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9.

1. Garnier product 8. "This crossword's theme is so funny! I can't get enough of it!" 12. Not fully noticed 13. Neural transmitter 14. What the brands Chaser, PreToxx and RU 21 claim they can remedy 15. Fam. members 16. Prosciutto, e.g. 17. "Fresh Air" airer 18. Rapper with the 2002 #1 hit "Hot in Herre" 20. Kind of court 23. Where the Styx flows 24. "____ Gonzales" (1955 Oscar winner for Best Animated Short Film) 25. Its name comes from the Arabic for "forbidden place" 26. Does some logrolling 27. New ____, Connecticut 28. Contains 31. "Cheers" actor Roger 32. Made a bundle? 33. Greasy spoon order 34. JFK : New York :: ____ : Chicago 35. Eye color 36. Scolding, nagging sort 37. Proverbial speedsters 38. Good thing to have at a tearjerker 39. Piano players? 40. They do a lot of peddling 41. Abrasive 42. "Open the pod bay doors, ____" (from "2001: A Space Odyssey") 43. Brooklyn pro 44. Come (from) 45. Forsakers of the faith 49. "Alice's Restaurant" singer Guthrie 50. Rendered less intense 51. TV's "How ____ Your Mother" 52. Blows a gasket

SUDOKU

| cityweekly.net |

| CITY WEEKLY |

66 | DECEMBER 18, 2014

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you’ll come back for the friends.” Each month, the employees get to choose a different party theme. For November, they chose to throw a food and money drive event to benefit the Utah Food Bank. “The girls do what we call a ‘Power Hour’ where each dancer goes on stage for one song, one right after the other, and all the tips are then divided up between the girls.” They chose to donate all of the money earned to the food drive. In addition, they also held a wet t-shirt contest and sold water guns to customers willing to assist in soaking the girls. The series of events raised over $400 and they also collected over 500 pounds of food donations via a raffle drawing. “We host a variety of fundraisers every year—from breast cancer awareness to helping families in need, bikini carwashes, and even a fundraiser for a dog who needed surgery,” says Blackett. “It gives us an excuse to have a great time and help someone out, too!” For more information on Pinkys and to see a list of upcoming events, visit www. pinkysslc.com and w w w.facebook.com/ pages/Pinkys-SLC/107881295901718. n

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tahns have been flocking to Pinkys since they opened their doors for many good reasons—adult entertainment aside. Sure, the ladies may draw in a portion of the crowd, but many folks consider the joint a regular hangout spot. “We are known as Salt Lake’s friendliest bar,” says Andrea Blackett, general manager of Pinkys. “Customers often refer to us as a ‘Disneyland for adults’.” From mozzarella sticks and chicken strips to their popular Pinkys Signature BLT (piled high with six pieces of bacon), the grub menu does not disappoint. On Fridays, you can also score a steak dinner for $10, which includes a steak, baked potato, salad and pint of beer. To mix it up for customers, there are also various food specials each night of the week. For the gaming crowd, they have free pool on Sundays and Mondays, a free money board during Monday Night Football and host a tournament every Tuesday. On Wednesdays they offer $2 beers and shots, and will also be reintroducing Saturday Night Stripper Fights back into the mix in the near future. Whether you drop by for the ladies, the pool or the cold beverages, you’ll leave feeling satisfied. “Pinkys [also] hosts the valley’s only set of monkey bars and a spinning pole that allow the girls to perform more acrobatic and interesting stage shows,” says Blackett. “We also have one hell of a bright pink pool table!” Aside from state-of-the-art equipment, they also take pride in offering a wide diversity of dancers—“from your standard stunning young lady to your fresh-offthe-farm newbie, your experienced professional dancer, artists covered in tattoos and even an actual porn star,” she says. Boobs aside, it’s just as you would imagine your neighborhood bar. “We know almost everyone who comes in on a daily basis, often having their drinks poured before they reach their seat,” says Blackett. “Yes, the allure of a seminude girl is undeniable, but we have found that people always return for good conversation and a smile more than anything else. You’ll come in for the dancers, but

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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY B Y R O B

B R E Z S NY

Go to RealAstrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes. Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.

ARIES (March 21-April 19) “Too much happiness can make you unhappy,” reported journalist Marta Zaraska in The Washington Post. Citing research by psychologists, she concluded that being superextra cheerful can make you selfish, gullible and more prone to stereotyped thinking. On the other hand, she said, maintaining merely moderate levels of happiness is pretty damn good for your mental and physical health. So here’s the takeaway, Aries: The astrological omens suggest you’re due for a surge of joy and pleasure. Just be careful it doesn’t spill over into rash, delirious excess. Here’s your watchword: well-grounded delight. TAURUS (April 20-May 20) In the 19th century, the Grimm brothers gathered more than 200 old fairy tales from a variety of sources and published them in an unprecedented collection. Many of their stories are still popular, including “Cinderella,” “Snow White,” “Hansel & Gretel,” and “Rapunzel.” Around the same time they did their work, a storyteller named Franz Xaver von Schönwerth assembled his own compendium of fantastic myths, fables and folklore. Unlike the Grimm brothers’ book, his work faded into obscurity. But it was rediscovered in 2011, and 500 lost fairy tales are now finding their way into newly published books. I foresee a comparable phenomenon happening for you in 2015, Taurus. Forgotten stories will return. Raw material from the depths will resurface. Interesting news from the past will come flowing into the present.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) When I started writing horoscopes many years ago, I was a good astrologer but an unexceptional writer. Eventually, the practice of composing 12 packets of pithy prose every week allowed me to improve my authorial skills. The stuff I composed in the early years wasn’t bad, but I wouldn’t want to present it as my work any more. So should I feel guilty that I got paid and appreciated for those old efforts even though I was less than perfect? Did I get away with something I shouldn’t have gotten away with? I don’t think so. I was doing the best I could at the time. And even my unpolished astrological musings were helpful to many people. Now, Libra, I invite you to apply these meditations to you own unfolding destiny. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) You may already know what I’m about to tell you. It’s a core principle at the root of your Scorpio heritage. But I want to focus your attention on it. In the coming months, you’ll be wise to keep it at the forefront of your conscious awareness. Here it is, courtesy of philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche: “You have it in your power to invest everything you have lived through—your experiments, false starts, errors, delusions, passions, your love and your hope—into your goal, with nothing left over.”

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) When a dead tree topples over in the woods, its withered branches may get entangled with the branches of a living tree that’s standing nearby. As years go by, the living tree must grow the best it can with the decaying wood trapped in its midst. Has something like that ever happened to you? Are you still carrying the rot that other people have burdened you with? If so, the coming months will be an excellent time to get disentangled. A tree isn’t capable of freeing itself from the dead weight of the past, but you are—especially in the first half of 2015.

DECEMBER 18, 2014 | 69

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Studies suggest that 57 percent of all people with access to the Internet have engaged in the practice known as ego-surfing. This modern art form consists of searching Google for mentions of one’s own name. This is a suspiciously low figure unless we factor in the data uncovered by my own research—which is that a disproportionately small amount of Virgos go ego-surfing: only 21 percent. If you are one of the 79 percent of your tribe who does not indulge, I invite you to remedy the situation. It’s an excellent time to risk exploring the potential benefits of increased self-interest and self-regard.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Stanstead, Quebec and Derby Line, Vermont are really a single town that straddles the border between the U.S. and Canada. Many of the people who live there have dual citizenship, but they’re still supposed to carry their passports with them at all times. I suspect you may experience a metaphorical version of this split in the coming months, Aquarius. You will be in a situation that has a split down the middle or a seemingly unnatural division. Whether it turns out to be a problem or an opportunity will depend on your adaptability and flexibility.

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LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) “There are two kinds of light,” said author James Thurber, “the glow that illuminates, and the glare that obscures.” Lately you have been an abundant source of that first kind of light, Leo. The fire in your heart and the gleam in your eyes have not only brightened the mood wherever you’ve gone. They have also clarified confusing situations, warmed chilly attitudes and healed dispirited allies. Thank you! In the coming weeks, I’d love to see you continue on your hot streak. To help ensure that you do, keep your ego under control. Don’t let it pretend that it owns the light you’re emitting. With a little introspection, you will continue to generate illumination, not glare.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) I have lived near an open space preserve for five years. Up until the last two months, it has been a peaceful, quiet place. But then the coyotes moved in. Just after dusk every evening, a pack of them start yipping and yowling in the distance. At first I found the racket to be eerie and unsettling. It activated some primal unease in me. And yet the coyotes have never actually been a problem. They don’t roam into my neighborhood and try to bite people or prey on pets. So now I’ve come to relish the situation: The wild things are close and exciting, but not dangerous. I’m guessing this has a metaphorical resemblance to what your life will be like in the next six months, Capricorn.

CANCER (June 21-July 22) One of the ingredients that makes yoga mats so soft and springy is the chemical azodicarbonamide. The same stuff is added to the soles of shoes. There’s a third place where it’s used, too: in the burger buns sold by McDonald’s, Burger King, Wendy’s and other fast food joints. I’m not suggesting that you order a big supply of azodicarbonamide and ingest it. But I do hope you will consider the metaphorical equivalent: doing whatever’s necessary to make yourself bouncy and fluffy and pliable and supple and resilient.

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SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) “A savage desire for strong emotions and sensations burns inside me: a rage against this soft-tinted, shallow, standardized GEMINI (May 21-June 20) and sterilized life.” So says Harry Haller, the protagonist of Your first task is to ascertain the half-truth, the whole half-truth, Hermann Hesse’s novel Steppenwolf. His declaration could and nothing but the whole half-truth. Only then will you be able serve as an interesting point of reference for you in the coming to find the other half of the truth. I realize it may be frustrating to months, Sagittarius—not as a mood for everyday use, but as a use this approach. You’d probably prefer to avoid wrangling with poetic inspiration that you periodically call on to invigorate your the deceptions and misdirections. But I think it’s the only way to lust for life. My invitation has a caveat, however. I advise you not jostle loose the hidden or missing information. For best results, to adopt the rest of Harry Haller’s rant, in which he says that he be a cunning and unsentimental detective who’s eager to solve also has “a mad craving to smash something up, a department the mystery. Don’t focus on finding fault or assigning blame. store, or a cathedral, or myself.”

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It’s that Christmas time of the year. Well, for most of you. This week is Hanukkah for Jews, which celebrates a miracle at an ancient temple on a night when there was only enough oil to light the candles for that one evening. Thankfully, the oil lasted eight nights, and that’s why foods cooked in oil are a common part of the Hanukkah observance. My wife comes from generations of Jews. Her grandmother turned 90 this month. She is a survivor of the infamous Shanghai ghetto and doesn’t talk much about the experience. When she does open up the stories are breathtakingly horrific. It’s good then to celebrate light in darkness, miracles and have some fun playing games and eating good food. Bella and I have gone to the “Tarjay” store downtown during the past few years to seek out Hanukkah décor. The first year the store opened there was an entire wall of blue and silver platters, menorahs, garland, plates, cups, etc. We stocked up and checked out. Last year there wasn’t as much of a display area and less items for sale. This year, the Target department store really hit the peak of anti-Semitism and ignorance. We went shopping the week after Thanksgiving and walked inside to the back corner where there are at least five aisles of Christmas décor. We searched and searched for anything Jewish. After another lap around the store, I flagged down an employee and asked if there were any Hanukkah decorations to be found. As we followed him, he yelled over his shoulder, “Hey, are you Jewish? I’ve never met a Jew in Utah!” He led us to a small assortment of plates, candles and Hanukkah napkins. Sigh. Again as we paid for our items, we were quizzed “Are these for Hanukkah? Oh, well Merry Christmas!” Might I say, not everyone is a Christian. I know, it’s hard living in the land of Zion when you assume who’s a gentile and who is not. Let’s all try and be respectful of one another’s religions (or lack thereof) in general throughout the year. Maybe have some sensitivity training after the holiday rush with your employees. The great thing about Hanukkah is that anyone can celebrate miracles. It’s simply a time to focus on them and celebrate. You can light a candle or two, or eight to remember a miracle or pray for one. If your religion doesn’t have a doctrine that requires you to deep-fry something to celebrate a miracle, create your own ritual. Jews eat fried potato pancakes and/ or donuts as part of the holiday table offering. And that’s a good thing! n Content is prepared expressly for Community and is not by City Weekly staff

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