City Weekly August 13, 2015

C I T Y W E E K LY. N E T

AUGUST 13, 2015

| VOL. 32

N0. 14

B E E R SALT LAKE

Best of Utah

F E S T

VOTE ON PAGE.

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CWCONTENTS COVER STORY UTAH BEER FESTIVAL 2015

It’s festival time. Skål!

Cover photo illustration by Derek Carlisle

29 4 LETTERS 6 OPINION 8 NEWS 16 A&E 23 DINE 45 CINEMA 48 TRUE TV 49 MUSIC 67 COMMUNITY

COPY EDITOR

TIFFANY FRANDSEN

“Beers and Bands,” p. 40 Tiffany is a journalism student, sleepwalker, hiker and avid playlist-maker.

As a native Salt Laker, she spends too much time searching for parking and can be bribed with saltwater taffy. Accomplishments include unjamming hundreds of staplers.

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Your online guide to more than 1,750 bars and restaurants • Up-to-the-minute articles and blogs at CityWeekly.net/Daily

FOOD

Canadians can’t spell Norman Ted Scheffler’s steamed Shurtliff’s name, and that’s OK. mussels: alive, alive-oh!

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Join us for City Weekly’s

UTAH BEER FESTIVAL 2015 Saturday, Aug. 15, 3-8 p.m.

Library Square Tickets $15 in advance, $25 day of festival UtahBeerFestival.com

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LETTERS Proposed Act Will Dump More Mentally Ill

In an Aug. 6 letter titled “Put Disabled People to Work” [Letters, City Weekly], the author is pushing the next step of the Republican agenda to gut the national safety net for the poor and put the rest of the disabled out onto the streets.

It began during the Reagan Era when nearly all the livein psychiatric hospitals were emptied out and closed down.

Americans were told that the mentally ill could be better and more cheaply be cared for in their own homes and communities, and could be better integrated into society, live more productive lives and find jobs. They were promised adequate funding for the needed services.

As a result, vast numbers of the mentally ill were dumped onto the street, causing the bulk of our current populations of homeless. Some were lucky enough to qualify for safety-net programs such as Social Security Disability and Medicaid.

With the Workforce Innovation and Opportunities Act, those who made empty promises before are once again putting lipstick on their sadistic sociopathic pig—getting rid of the safety net for the disabled and everyone else—except the filthy rich. Again, with the promise of jobs, income and purpose for the disabled. And again, those who are unable to do or find living-wage work will be dumped onto the streets, where they could be neglected, abused and die in the streets, among the rest of the now far-greater numbers of homeless.

STUART MCDONALD Salt Lake City

WRITE US: Salt Lake City Weekly, 248 S. Main, Salt Lake City, UT 84101. E-mail: comments@cityweekly.net. Fax: 801-575-6106.

We reserve the right to edit for length and clarity. Preference will be given to letters that are 300 words or less and sent uniquely to City Weekly. Full name, address and phone number must be included, even on e-mailed submissions, for verification purposes.

Odd Job Description

If most young men saw the following help wanted ad, would they jump at this opportunity?

“Wanted: 19 year-old non-gay males for unique sales opportunity. Two-year commitment required. Go to exotic countries, or possibly stay in Utah. The corporation will have total control in assigning your location. You will be expected to sell an out-of-date product based on lies and myths. Successful applicants will share meager housing with one or more roommates, who will be trained by corporate to monitor you, to ensure you are fulfilling all directives regarding your sales and your private life.

“During your two-year assignment, you will be required to have no sexual thought, nor may you participate in any sexual activity with others or yourself.

“It should be noted the corporation does not provide the sales staff any compensation: no salary, no bonuses. Unless your family can support you, this may not be the job for you.

“Successful applicants will be expected to work beyond the traditional eight-hour day and standard 40-hour week.

Since there is no salary, there can be no overtime.

“Corporate will provide the only reading material you will be allowed to have. Also, sales personnel will not be allowed to leave their assigned post if a parent, sibling, grandparent or any other loved one suffers from a fatal illness, accident or death. As the good old boys at corporate like to say, ‘Suck it up!’

“Just to further clarify, our sales personnel are forbidden

to use any of their two-year time to study for college, date or otherwise get on with their lives.

“Some in other sales organizations express amazement at our rate of hiring and limited turnover. We are frequently asked to share the centerpiece of our success. We share with them one word: guilt.

“Come on, all of you mostly white, straight, male 19 yearolds. Operators are standing by.

“Addendum: Young women may also apply. Some have been known to work up to leadership positions. However, as soon as we find out, we immediately terminate them.”

TED OTTINGER Taylorsville

Correction: Rocky Mountain Power’s solar net-meter customers in Utah may receive billing credits for excess energy produced. City Weekly’s Aug. 6 cover story, “Power Struggle,” stated otherwise.

STAFF Business/Office

Publisher JOHN SALTAS General Manager ANDY SUTCLIFFE

Accounting Manager CODY WINGET Associate Business Manager PAULA SALTAS Office Administrator CELESTE NELSON Technical Director BRYAN MANNOS

Editorial

Interim Editor JERRE WROBLE Managing Editor BRANDON BURT Digital Editor BILL FROST Arts &Entertainment Editor SCOTT RENSHAW Music Editor RANDY HARWARD Senior Staff Writer STEPHEN DARK Staff Writers COLBY FRAZIER Copy Editor TIFFANY FRANDSEN Interns DEREK EDWARDS, ROBBY POFFENBERGER Columnists KATHARINE BIELE, TED SCHEFFLER Editorial Assistants MIKEY SALTAS, JACK SWILLINGER

Marketing

Marketing Manager JACKIE BRIGGS Marketing/Events Coordinator NICOLE ENRIGHT The Word LAUREN TAGGE, LILY WETTERLIN, GARY ABBREDERIS, EMILIA SZUBZDA, ALLISON HUTTO, BEN BALDRIDGE, AL ESCALANTE, DANI POIRIER, TINA TRUONG, ELLEN YAKISH

Sales

Director of Advertising, Magazine Division JENNIFER VAN GREVENHOF Director of Advertising, Newsprint Division PETE SALTAS Digital Operations Manager ANNA PAPADAKIS Director of Digital Development CHRISTIAN PRISKOS Senior Account Executives DOUG KRUITHOF, KATHY MUELLER Retail Account Executives JEFF CHIPIAN, ALISSA DIMICK, JEREMIAH SMITH, MOLLI STITZEL

Contributors CECIL ADAMS, ROB

BREZSNY, BABS DE LAY, ERIC ETHINGTON, MARYANN JOHANSON, SHAWNA MEYER, KATHERINE PIOLI, JOHN RASMUSON, CHUCK SHEPHERD, BRIAN STAKER, JACOB STRINGER, JOHN TAYLOR, CHRISTA ZARO

Production

Art Director DEREK CARLISLE Assistant Production Manager MASON RODRICKC Graphic Artists SUMMER MONTGOMERY, CAIT LEE, JOSH SCHEUERMAN

Display Advertising 801-413-0936

Circulation

National Advertising

Circulation Manager LARRY CARTER

VMG Advertising 888-278-9866 www.vmgadvertising.com

Salt Lake City Weekly is published every Thursday by Copperfield Publishing Inc. The Salt Lake City Weekly is an independent publication dedicated to alternative news and news sources, and serves as a comprehensive entertainment guide. 50,000 copies of the Salt Lake City Weekly are free of charge at more than 1,800 locations along the Wasatch Front, limit one copy per reader. Additional copies of the paper may be purchased for $1 (Best of Utah and other special issues, $5) payable to the Salt Lake City Weekly in advance. No person, without expressed permission of Copperfield Publishing Inc., may take more than one copy of any Salt Lake City Weekly issue. No portion of the Salt Lake City Weekly may be reproduced in whole or part by any means, including electronic retrieval systems, without the written permission of the Publisher. Third-Class postage paid at Midvale, UT. Delivery may take one week. All Rights Reserved. ®

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Pandora’s Box I don’t have digital I don’t have diddly squat It’s not having what you want It’s wanting what you’ve got

—Sheryl Crow

H

ave you noticed that Starbucks ditched the CDs? No more Fleet Foxes or Paul McCartney discs next to the cash register. You may not care, but I do. It seems such a dispiriting turn of events.

Not that I frequent Starbucks. The coffee is too bitter for me. The company’s politics is more to my liking. It has been on the right side of LGBT rights, and CEO Howard Schultz has been doing the right things for veterans. Moreover, Starbucks’ “coffeehouse experience” appeals to me in the same way the concept of neighborhood taverns is appealing, but I concede the Starbucks model is sometimes pretentious and always pricey.

What Starbucks wanted, back in the 1990s, was to introduce music into its cultivated “coffeehouse experience.” Ensconced in a clean, well-lighted place, you could linger over espresso drinks with cool Italian names and be soothed by cool music playing in the background. Then, after 1995, you could buy the cool music at the counter and impress friends with your sophisticated taste. Mariah Carey topped the charts that year, but Starbucks was promoting jazz

by John Coltrane and Sarah Vaughan. The strategy was successful. Madeleine Peyroux is a case in point: The wind that filled the sails of her career as a jazz singer emanated from Starbucks.

Slumping sales caused the coffee company to abandon CDs a few months ago. Critics say Starbucks strayed from its cool-music formula, in effect, by privileging the Careys instead of the Peyrouxs. The criticism may or may not be justified, but the root cause has more to do

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OPINION with relentless technological evolution, the effect of which is apparent in my basement where boxes of vinyl LPs, cassette tapes, DVDs and Kodachrome slides are stored.

The collections have great sentimental value, but as a practical matter, they aren’t worth diddly squat. Collectively, they constitute a storage problem. And now, sad to say, my CDs are destined for the basement, too.

The fading glory of the compact disc is old news. Just as the Internet wreaked havoc with newspapers, online music has been eating away at CD revenue for years. Starbucks may not be making money on music, but Spotify and Apple are. Numbers tell the story. According to The New York Times, 253 million CDs were sold in 2010.

In 2014, the number was 144 million.

I bought my first CD, Tigerlily, by Natalie Merchant, at a now-defunct Circuit City store. It was not an impulse purchase: CDs had been on the market for more than a decade. My subsequent transition from audiotape to CD was relatively easy. I shed no tears while boxing up the cassettes. I disliked their propensity to snarl the innards of the tape player. All these years later, I am more invested in CDs—literally and figuratively.

Like Sheryl Crow, I want what I’ve got. I don’t like betting on the come. Call me shortsighted, but I don’t want a 4K television today because 4K programming is coming tomorrow.

The future may be Apple Music, but I am in a state of technological repose, singing along with my favorite CDs. I do listen to Pandora. However, of the online radio’s 250 million listeners, I may be the only one mulling the irony of a corporation named after the mythological source of the world’s ills. The company’s namesake was created by the Greek gods to punish mankind for stealing fire. Pandora arrived on the scene, gilded box in hand, under strict orders from Zeus to keep it

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Readers can comment at cityweekly.net

locked. She eventually opened it, releasing every imaginable evil into an edenic world.

That Pandora’s box also contained hope redeems the story. Presumably Pandora Inc. hopes for success.

I think technology has subsumed hope. So much so that technology is assumed to be a cure-all. Not even menacing climate problems are too tough to fix. I tend to be much less hopeful. Besides, too many promising innovations have a downside. The cure may be as painful as the disease. Fracking is an example. The controversial drilling technique has eased our dependence on foreign oil dramatically and lowered gasoline prices.

Cheap domestic crude is good for the economy, good for foreign relations, but bad for air quality in Utah. Even low-tech innovations have unforeseen consequences. Use-and-flush wet wipes have been congealing into sewer-clogging “fatburgs” in London. One weighed 15 tons; another was 66 feet long.

Sure, technology holds out hope for my boxed music. I could convert all of it to MP3 files. Will I? Not likely. If I did, I still couldn’t part with some of the LPs, cassettes and CDs gifted to me over the years. I think of Jackson Browne’s Late for the Sky album—a Christmas present from my brother in 1974—and Wilco’s Mermaid Avenue from my son in 1999. Each represents a deliberate choice. Each choice was made with my interests at heart. My appreciation for their thoughtfulness and for the music they chose is linked to that which I can hold in my hand.

You might argue that the medium is irrelevant, that a download from iTunes is the same as a track on a record. Or, that an ebook is the equivalent of a hardback. Or, that an email is as expressive as a hand-written letter. Because I discern a difference, I hope CDs and books are viable for years to come. In the meantime, my basement archive remains intact. CW Send feedback to comments@cityweekly.net

What CD will you always treasure?

I SHED NO TEARS WHILE BOXING UP THE CASSETTES. I DISLIKED THEIR PROPENSITY TO SNARL THE INNARDS OF THE TAPE PLAYER.

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STAFF BOX

Nicole Enright: Someone stole my 5,000+ CDs. It crushed my heart, and to this day, I can’t buy CDs because it makes me too sad. I still have one single disc: Take the Fall (old local band). I treasure it because it’s fantastic—and because it survived.

Bryan Bale: I listen to CDs in my car. I love Megadeth’s Rust in Peace for road trips.

Paula Saltas: Chris Isaak, “Forever Blue” Mason Rodrickc: I have six CDs, but seven friends, so I am perpetually mad at one of them for leaving rings on my coffee table.

Alissa Dimick: I play my CD collection often because I don’t have a way to play my phone in my car. Even though it skips and I can’t listen to the entire thing, Black & Blue by Backstreet Boys stays in my CD player—and will until the end of time!

Pete Saltas: Summer Mix 2004. Back then, you had to think hard about what was worthy of making the playlist. Kids these days will never understand the struggle.

Brandon Burt: Kate Bush’s The Dreaming.

I’ve had it on vinyl, cassette and CD— practically every format except 8-Track and Edison wax cylinder.

Robby Poffenberger: My 50-disc traveling case is an eternal passenger in my Pontiac. I can’t let go of my Disturbed and AFI albums, but above all, I wish I had taken better care of my first album: Backstreet Boys’ Millenium.

Jeff Chipian:

The Gladiator original soundtrack. That sucker has been played more times than “Call of Duty” in a dorm room. N*Sync’s Christmas album is a close second.

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FIVE SPOT

RANDOM QUESTIONS, SURPRISING ANSWERS

For Bob Trewartha, beer is more than a beverage—it’s a mission. A literal professor of 20 years, teaching communications, business and ethics at Broadview University, Trewartha has taken the moniker of The Beer Professor to, as he puts it, “promote craft-beer education and (responsible) good time.” His homebrews have won numerous awards, and this year, those in the VIP section of City Weekly’s Utah Beer Festival will enjoy his efforts as emcee.

What education qualifies you to be The Beer Professor, and how might one obtain such a degree?

The Beer Professor moniker has been earned through both experiential research and practical application of beer education. In addition, as I am an avid homebrewer and beer blogger, which keeps me at the pulse of the craft-beer scene. I am also in the beginning stages of obtaining my Cicerone certification.

What inspired you to spread the good word about beer?

My biggest influence was Zane Lamprey who had a TV showed called Three Sheets that was all about the education of beer, wine and spirits from all different parts of the world.

His format of presenting was educational but mostly fun and inspired me to want to spread the education and love of drinking beer. In addition, when I first started drinking beer, there was such a lack of craft beer that it motivated me to seek out good beer throughout the United States so I could refine my palate.

Why be a beer scholar in the heart of Zion?

I love this question. Utah has some of the best breweries, some of the best home brewers and craft-beer lovers in the country. If you tell people they can’t do something, they find a way to do it, and do it well. However, many folks still have not been exposed to “good” beer and the joy it will bring—which creates the need for someone, like The Beer Professor, to spread the good word.

What are you looking forward to at this year’s Utah Beer Festival?

We have eight breweries bringing some special brews that our experts at the Salt Bistro are going to pair with some culinary delights. The VIP patrons will have the chance to try these amazing libations and learn some of the secrets from the brewers themselves.

What types of brews do you naturally gravitate toward?

There are very few beer styles I have tried that I don’t find some quaffability but, having said that, I generally like IPAs, imperial stouts and barley wines. Big beers. Lots of flavor.

What changes would you make to Utah liquor laws to help the local beer scene flourish?

Tap beer at higher than 4 percent would be a boon for Utah beer drinkers. The legalization of happy hours and flights would allow for patrons to sample beers to find what they really enjoy. The Zion curtain is simply an embarrassment—not really a beer-specific issue, but that law ought to change.

—ROBBY POFFENBERGER comments@cityweekly.net

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HITS&MISSES

BY KATHARINE BIELE

STRAIGHT DOPE

BY CECIL ADAMS

@kathybiele

Cheap vs. Clean

What Utahns want may not be what they get in terms of energy and air pollution. Envision Utah’s “Your Utah. Your Future.” survey showed that a slight majority of respondents would like to see a gradual transition from coal to natural gas with more renewables in the mix. But wait—Utahns don’t want to pay a lot more for better air, while a full 70 percent of Americans “support setting strict carbondioxide emission limits on existing coalfired plants to reduce global warming and improve public health, even though the cost of electricity would likely increase,” according to a George Mason University report. Rocky Mountain Power’s longterm plans call for reducing coal generation, but the Public Service Commission is looking at RMP’s 20-year plans that include coal. Somebody’s got to get serious—and it probably will take tax dollars.

Staying with coal has a heavy price, too.

A Political Education

In a nation polarized by issues like abortion and immigration, is it any wonder that education is steeped in politics? The Utah Board of Education has become more and more a tool of the far right and is now led by a man with zero education experience.

Superintendent Brad Smith has thus become the target of the Utah Democratic Education Caucus and Kim Irvine, an outspoken opponent of Smith. Irvine, in a recent blog, lists Smith’s failed initiatives as Ogden superintendent, and sees them coming to the state. Already, several veteran employees of the state board have left or been let go. Now as the state board considers new science standards, there is reason to worry. With global warming and evolution considered “theory” by many, Utah’s science curriculum could get fuzzy.

Clear the Record

Prison dialogue has changed—however briefly— from the facility itself to the faces of inmates who’ve done their time. Utah Legal Services has been working to expunge the records of 26 homeless clients, the Deseret News reported. While there are multiple barriers, expungement could mean the difference between a repeat offense and a new job to put the prisoner on track to self-sufficiency. Meanwhile, despite persistent reports of crime at the Road Home shelter, work is progressing on a new community winter shelter to relieve overcrowding and create a family-friendly atmosphere. Homelessness is not a crime, although the abject conditions in which the homeless live may often encourage crime. Both Salt Lake City and Salt Lake County are examining their homeless services and should be making positive progress.

Prison Nation

I’ve heard the United States has the highest percentage of its population incarcerated of any country in the world. Is there a single crime or category of crime in which we excel that puts us in the top spot? Or are we just better at committing crime across the board? My guess is the war on drugs accounts for much of our prison population. Can you provide a breakdown showing how we’ve achieved our less-thanenviable position?

—David Burns The drug war contributed, but it’s not the major factor behind our crazy high imprisonment rate. What does explain it then? I’ll just say the more you delve into this, the more complicated it gets.

Let’s review the incarceration rate, first discussed in this space in 2004. The U.S. currently has more than 321 million people.

According to the World Prison Population List, the United States has a total prison population, including pretrial detainees, of 2.24 million. This works out to 716 prisoners per 100,000 people, the highest rate in the world.

Let that soak in. Consider: n The United States has 4.4 percent of the world’s population but 22 percent of the world’s prisoners. For sheer numbers, our only close competitors are Russia (680,000 prisoners) and China (1.64 million sentenced prisoners plus 650,000 in pretrial/ administrative detention). n In terms of imprisonment rate, our closest competitors are mostly tiny island countries. (Number two: St. Kitts and Nevis, 714.) Among major nations, the closest to us is Russia, 475. The world average is around 150; for Western European countries, it’s around 100. Up till 1970, that’s what it was for us, too. n The U.S. incarceration rate bears no close relation to the crime rate. The percentage of Americans in prison rose sharply between 1970 and 1999 and has fluctuated since then but remains close to the historical peak. In contrast, U.S. rates for violent and property crime started heading up in the early 1960s, peaked in 1991, and since then have fallen by roughly half. In other words, for the past quarter century, the U.S. crime and imprisonment rates have headed in opposite directions.

Some will say: Well, of course—the crime rate has gone down because all the troublemakers are in jail! That’s not proven, but even if it were, think what it would say about us: We throw the book at people less because of the crimes they did commit than because of the ones they might commit. In other words, a country that prides itself on being a beacon of liberty has more or less consciously adopted a policy of long-term pre-emptive detention.

But to repeat: Things are complicated.

You think most prisoners are there because of drug offenses? That’s true at the federal level, where more than half the convicts are in because of drugs. However, at the state level—and the states account for 87

SLUG SIGNORINO

percent of U.S. prisoners—drug crimes account for only 16 percent of those doing time. The majority of state prisoners—54 percent as of 2012—were convicted of violent crimes, 19 percent of property crimes, and the remainder everything else (e.g., drunken driving).

For state and federal prisoners combined, 20 percent were convicted of drug offenses. Assuming that 20 percent of the 744,500 U.S. pretrial detainees (as of 2012) are likewise in on drug charges, then if everyone behind bars for drug offenses were freed, the U.S. incarceration rate would be 573, which would still put us third highest in the world. In short, you can’t blame the imprisonment epidemic specifically on the war on drugs. Informed opinion attributes it to harsh laws and policies spurred by fear of rising crime during the 1970s and ’80s that imposed stiffer penalties for a broad spectrum of offenses.

Now let’s stride boldly into a minefield.

Is the U.S. imprisonment rate high because we’re locking up so many black people? At first blush, no—leave black prisoners out of the picture and the U.S. incarceration rate is still 458, putting us in a tie for 10th worldwide with St. Martin. If we don’t count any nonwhites, the incarceration rate would be 239, still well above the world average.

Some will say: The white convicts were caught up in draconian sentencing laws mainly aimed at minorities, and specifically at black men.

Let’s break that down. Do stiffer drug penalties single out black people? The numbers say no. Of state prisoners, 14 percent of whites are in for drugs, 15 percent of Hispanics, and 16 percent of blacks—no big diff.

Violent crime? That’s another story. Of state prisoners, 49 percent of whites were convicted of violent offenses vs. 58 percent of blacks and 60 percent of Hispanics. Inquiring further, we find whites constitute 80 percent of the U.S. population and 32 percent of imprisoned violent criminals.

For Hispanics, it’s 17 percent and 23 percent; for black people, 13 percent and 41 percent.

Conclusion: The appallingly high number of U.S. prisoners can’t be attributed to any one class of offenses. Rather, it’s resulted from get-tough-on-crime laws that have fallen most heavily on black men.

Send questions to Cecil via StraightDope. com or write him c/o Chicago Reader, 350 N. Orleans, Chicago 60654.

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Litigious City

A would-be property owner says Salt Lake City is suing him for fraud for attempts to acquire watershed lands.

BY ERIC ETHINGTON eethington@cityweekly.net @ericethington

I

n the lead up to the recent Salt Lake City mayoral primary, candidate Dave Robinson was heard to frequently chastise incumbent Mayor Ralph Becker for his “preference for litigation” in land disputes. Robinson repeatedly referenced the city’s lawsuit that named an 80-year-old grandmother in litigation involving old mining property in Big Cottonwood Canyon.

That grandmother, former schoolteacher Geniel Crawford, was surrounded by her family when she passed away in February 2015. They will remember her playing the piano and violin, and taking hikes with her grandchildren and great-grandchildren. At the time of her death, she was being sued by Salt Lake City for $500,000.

Up Big Cottonwood Canyon, a beautiful spot of land known as Argenta is made up of 320 acres of open space stretching from Kessler Peak down through the forest to Big Cottonwood Creek. Purchased by the Colonia Mining Co. more than 100 years ago, the mine was abandoned in the 1930s and reportedly has been left untouched since.

For the past few decades, property taxes went unpaid to Salt Lake County, until Geniel’s son, physician assistant

POLITICS

Wayne Crawford, noticed the property and its unpaid taxes. He became interested in acquiring the land.

Under Utah law, if the owner of land does not use or occupy it, another person may establish an ownership claim by using or occupying it openly, and paying taxes for seven years, under a concept known as “adverse possession.”

Crawford fell in love with the land and its history and, in 2007, began the adverse-possession process. To that end, he allegedly paid the $50,000 in back taxes to the county, and says he and his family hiked, picnicked and researched historical records of interesting places to explore on the 320 acres.

They also put up a gate, roughly 50 “No Trespassing” signs, and removed some of the lumber from the mining company’s old crop of lumber trees. Crawford says he also paid an additional $30,000 in property taxes over the next seven years, before filing a quit claim in 2014 to officially become the owner of the property. He also legally purchased the name Colonia Mining Co. in order to, he says, demonstrate that the original company was defunct. That’s when Salt Lake City took notice.

Salt Lake City owns roughly 27,000 acres of watershed land in the Wasatch canyons, and has set aside approximately $1.5 million each year to acquire more.

When Salt Lake City found out about the property, Crawford claims the city contacted three former directors of the nowdefunct mining company and offered to pay them $480,000 for the land if they would give the city authority in the contract to litigate on their behalf. The three former directors reportedly agreed, and Salt Lake City then launched a $500,000 lawsuit against Crawford, his company, his wife and his mother for fraud and trespassing.

“They didn’t just name me in the suit,”

—Wayne Crawford

says Crawford. “They also named my wife and my mother as co-defendants.”

Crawford said he believes his wife and 80-year-old mother were named in the suit specifically to intimidate him into immediately giving in.

“His wife and mother were named because [Crawford] listed them as principles in the new company,” says Salt Lake City Public Utilities Director Jeff Niermeyer, who affirmed that the city is interested in the property for preservation of watershed land. “What he did was create a company with the exact same name as a historic mining company, even though it wasn’t that company.”

Niermeyer says the city believes that Crawford was deliberately trying to create confusion by setting up a new company with the old Colonia name, and then deeding the land to himself in order to create a “chain of title.”

That’s when Crawford called on his friend, Dave Robinson (who would later announce his mayoral bid) and asked him to intercede with the city and negotiate a truce. Robinson says he reached out to deputy city attorney Rusty Vetter, but that Vetter refused via email to meet with him.

Crawford says his plan was to have Wasatch Canyons Foundation purchase the land from him, and the foundation could then either turn it over to the U.S. Forest Service or obtain a conservation easement so the land would be preserved. Crawford said the foundation liked the idea, and a contract was drawn up agreeing to the purchase.

Wasatch Canyons Foundation board member John Bennett says he and representatives from the Utah Department of Natural Resources and U.S. Forest Service met with Salt Lake City Mayor Ralph Becker, Vetter and Niermeyer to advocate for the proposal.

“They started out the meeting immediately trying to warn us away from moving forward [with Crawford],” Bennett says. “Vetter said [Crawford] is committing fraud and should be in jail.”

Vetter vehemently disagrees with Bennett’s recall of the meeting. “I absolutely did not say that,” about Crawford, he said.

Bennett says that the group pushed the administration to withdraw its suit so that the land could be preserved without any cost to the city—but while the administration liked the idea of it being preserved, and, in fact, that was their own goal for the land, “they didn’t want to reward fraud.”

Not only did the city refuse to drop its lawsuit so that the foundation’s purchase could move forward, the city also subpoenaed the foundation, its board and its advisory board for all emails mentioning Argenta, Colonia Mining Company and Crawford.

One of those advisory board members happens to be former Salt Lake County mayor and current Utah Democratic Party Chairman Peter Corroon, who says he was extremely disappointed to receive the subpoena and with the city’s apparent lack of interest in cutting a deal. “It seems like [the city] wants to spend more time on litigation then they actually do getting results,” Corroon said.

Crawford alleges that city officials continue to tell people he is committing criminal fraud. This, despite Niermeyer saying that they had been told by the Salt Lake County attorney that since there had been no harm, no criminal fraud was taking place, according to video clips provided

by Robinson of Niermeyer’s deposition.

Crawford says he has now served Salt Lake City with a notice of intent to file a lawsuit for defamation.

Meanwhile, Vetter acknowledged that there have been settlement discussions but they have not as yet been fruitful. CW Eric Ethington is a journalist, activist and researcher. He also works for Political Research Associates.

Kessler Peak

PHOTO COURTESY ERIC WILLHITE

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“They didn’t just name me in the suit. They also named my wife and my mother as co-defendants.”

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THE

OCHO

THE LIST OF EIGHT

BY BILL FROST

@bill_frost

CITIZEN REVOLT In a week, you can

CHANGE THE WORLD

CALL FOR VOLUNTEERS

The Joe Hill Centennial Celebration Volunteers needed to help with event to be held Saturday, Sept. 5, noon-10 p.m. at Sugar House Park. The all-day free concert will feature Judy Collins, Guy Davis, Rio Bravo Conjunto, Mischief Brew, Joe Jencks, David Rovics, Anne Feeney and Mark Ross. Need help with set up and take down, selling merchandise, giving directions, running errands, providing security and more.

Contact Lori at joehilloc@gmail.com or fill out form at JoeHill2015.org/donate/volunteers

SPEAKERS & TALKS

K

Ale e al

Eight breweries that weren’t invited to our 2015 Utah Beer Festival:

8. Juggalo Juice Brewz (South Salt Lake)

7. Hops n’ Hops n’ HOPS Brewing Co. (Cedar City)

6. Puta Punch Brewery (Beaver)

5. Dixie Confederate Rebelneck Brewing (St. George)

4. Holy Grail Kale Ale Co. (Sugar House)

3. Pyramid Scheme Brewing Co. (Eagle Mountain)

2. O-Town Dog Food & Brewery (Ogden)

1. Becker Bräu Bio-Friendly Brewing (Salt Lake City)

Rush Hour: Transportation Solutions for a Sustainable Urban Salt Lake Leo After Hours will focus on transportation solutions Salt Lake City can expect in the coming years, including driverless cars, electrified roadways and alternative means of transportation. The Leonardo, 209 E. 500 South, Thursday, Aug. 13, 5:30-7:30 p.m. Free, but pre-registration is required. TheLeonardo.org.

Dr. Alex Dey Dey is a leading Latino motivational speaker, often compared to Tony Robbins.

South Towne Expo Center, 9575 S. State, Sandy, Aug. 18, 5-10 p.m. $69-$129 Tim DeChristopher Environmental activist/ Peaceful Uprising founder Tim DeChristopher to speak at a Utah for Bernie Sanders rally.

Musician and activist Pablo Blaqk also will perform. Impact Hub, 150 S. State, No. 1, Friday, Aug. 14, 7:30 p.m., free. Facebook.com/ UtahForBernieSanders/events.

EVENTS

Point B Screening Conor Long directed this feature film shot entirely in Salt Lake City, which stars David Fetzer, in his last film before his untimely death in December 2012. Filmmakers dedicated the film to Fetzer and work closely with the Davey Foundation, helping young filmmakers get their films made. Special one-night screening with cast & crew Q&A, Tower Theatre, 876 E. 900 South, 801-321-0310, Friday, Aug. 14, 7 p.m.

PointBTheMovie.com Historic Wendover Air Base Field Trip Visit an on-site interpretive museum and air field where B-29 pilots and their aircraft trained for the atomic-bomb flights to Japan. One of three Fort Douglas Military Museum’s commemorative events marking the 70th anniversary of “Victory Over Japan.” Bus departs museum at 32 Potter St., Sunday, Aug. 16, 9 a.m.-3 p.m., $50 includes lunch. Register at FortDouglas.org

MEETING

Downtown Merchants Association Mtg. Agenda: Parks & open-space bond: SLC Mayor’s Office; Homeless issues update: Camille Winnie; Police strategic deployment bureau update: Dep. Chief Josh Scharman; Convention update: Visit Salt Lake; Construction update: Bill Knowles and Jesse Dean; Downtown Alliance update: Liz Jackson, Salt Lake Chamber Offices, 175 E. 400 South, 6th floor, Thursday, Aug. 13, 9 a.m.

DowntownSLC.org Got a volunteer, activism or community event to submit?

Send it to editor@cityweekly.net

“Doc, It Hurts When I Do That” (“Then Don’t Do That”) Ran’dell Busch, 27, was in serious condition after being shot the corner of 18th Street and Emmet Street in Omaha, Neb. He was also shot in 2014 around the intersection of 18th and Emmet, and in 2012 was shot in a scuffle after running from the corner of 18th and Emmet.

S NEofW the

WEIRD

The Entrepreneurial Spirit!

Failed European Business Models: 1. Grande Hotel San Calogero, the planned centerpiece of a Sicilian tourist renaissance, is still nowhere close to opening—61 years after construction began. It took 30 years to build, but then developers fought for 10 years over its management, and only later was a serious drainage deficiency discovered (repair of which Rome’s news site The Local reported in July remains unfunded).

2. Construction of the ultra-modern Don Quixote airport (in Ciudad Real, Spain, about an hour from Madrid) was finished in 2006, but the $1 billion facility never opened, and in July, was sold to a Chinese investor for the equivalent of $11,000. (Bonus: Fictional character Don Quixote was, himself, noted for delusions of grandeur.) n Unclear on the Concept: Overlooked by the roundup of “state fair” foods listed in News of the Weird two weeks ago was the debut in June, at California’s San Diego County Fair, of the deep-fried Slim-Fast bar. A 200-calorie “diet bar” is breaded in pancake batter, fried, dusted with powdered sugar and drizzled with chocolate.

n Local officials in China’s Xinjiang region informed Muslim shopkeepers and restaurateurs in May that they will henceforth be required to sell alcohol and cigarettes (even though Islam forbids their consumption). An official told Radio Free Asia that the government aims to weaken religion.

Cutting-Edge Science Some owners may be petting their cats all wrong, cautioned recent research in issues of the journal Applied Animal Behaviour Science by scientists from University of Lincoln in England and the University of Wisconsin-Madison. For example, felines seem to prefer face-caressing, especially between the eyes and ears, and are especially aroused, negatively, by tail-petting, especially at the base. Cats appear to be pickier about how their owners pet them than strangers, according to a Washington Post review of one article. The Wisconsin research revealed that cats better appreciate (or are annoyed less by) music written especially for their pitch (an octave higher) and tempo (mimicking purring) than traditional classical music.

Oops!

Careless Governing: 1. Maine enacted legislation in July to make immigrant asylum-seekers eligible for the state’s General Assistance fund—contrary to Gov. Paul LePage’s aggressive promise to veto the bill. The governor had misunderstood state law and believed legislation would be regarded as vetoed if he merely failed to sign it for 10 days. LePage appeared stunned on the 11th day, according to press reports, that he had had the veto law backward and that asylum-seekers are now eligible for benefits. 2. News reports from Georgetown, Texas, politely did not identify the councilman by name, but Mayor Pro Tem Rachael Jonrow confirmed that the man neglected to turn off his mobile microphone during a May meeting as he excused himself for a restroom break. Jonrow said she stoically ignored the men’s room sounds on the PA system—until the noise from a toilet’s flushing seemed to release the councilmembers’ pent-up laughter.

Thanks This Week to Chuck Hamilton and to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors. (Read more weird news at WeirdUniverse.net; send items to WeirdNews@earthlink.net, and P.O. Box 18737, Tampa, FL 33679.)

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The Continuing Crisis Texas’ highest criminal appeals court agreed on July 17, hours before Clifton Williams was to be executed, to a postponement until they could consider the significance of perhaps-faulty higher math presented to his jury in 2006. Prosecutors had claimed at his trial that the likelihood of another black man having Williams’ DNA profile was 1 in 43 sextillion (43 followed by 21 zeros, or 43 billion trillion). Texas officials have recently recalculated the FBI-developed database and concluded that it was somewhat more likely that a second black man had Williams’ profile—1 in only 40 billion trillion.

Wait, What?

Jason Patterson, upset that New Zealand’s health care administration has rejected paying for gastric bypass surgery, announced in July that he will protest publicly by going on a hunger strike. “The first two to three days (will be) really hard,” he told Channel 3 News.

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n A woman in a suburb of Beijing filed a lawsuit against the China Dragon Garden graveyard recently over her shock to find that not only was her own name affixed to a headstone in gold lettering but about half of the 600 plots were eerily marked for prominent (and still living) people to move into. It was a marketing plan, according to cemetery workers, to convince customers of the upscale neighbors (such as basketball star Yao Ming) waiting for them in the afterlife. (China’s aging population, and Beijing’s land scarcity, have driven up prices, intensifying competition and corrupt practices, according to a Los Angeles Times dispatch.)

BY CHUCK SHEPHERD

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ESSENTIALS

the

FRIDAY 8.14

Utah Shakespeare Festival New American Playwrights Project For more than 50 years, the Utah Shakespeare Festival has been associated with the works of a writer who created his masterpieces 400 years ago. But that doesn’t mean the organization is only concerned with theater’s illustrious past; there’s also a mission to be part of its promising future.

The New American Playwrights Project showcases three new works in progress, presented as staged readings. These productions allow for a unique interaction between the writers, actors and audience members in post-play conversations, allowing the playwrights to understand the strengths and weaknesses of their works in order to refine them for future production.

This year’s three plays include a pair of darker comedies, as well as a piece of speculative historical fiction. In Steven Peterson’s Affluence, a downon-their-luck family ponders the unthinkable as wealthy, dying Grandma inconveniently seems not yet ready to go before new inheritance taxes kick in at midnight on New Year’s Day. Death also factors into James McLindon’s Closure, as strange visions—including an unconventional version of the Virgin Mary—come to a man hoping to reconcile with his estranged family before he passes.

And Rich Rubin’s Caesar’s Blood imagines conversations between three acting brothers—Edwin, Junius Brutus and John Wilkes Booth—about the contentious politics of their time.

You may be visiting Cedar City to see plays that have been performed thousands of times, but it’s also worth a stop to check out plays nobody has ever seen before. (Scott Renshaw) Utah Shakespeare Festival New American Playwrights Project @ Auditorium Theatre, 300 West & University Boulevard, Cedar City, 435-586-7878, Aug. 6-28, $10, full schedule at Bard.org/NAPP

FRIDAY 8.14

Amalia Ulman: Stock Images of War War represents humanity at its most fragile, when the lines of conflict explode into full-blown fissures, and violence wreaks havoc at every level. Amalia Ulman’s wryly titled Stock Images of War, opening at the Codec Gallery of the Utah Museum of Contemporary Art, features wire sculptures shaped into familiar objects such as bicycles (pictured above), tanks and wheelchairs.

Ulman uses the contours of the familiar and seemingly fixed and firm in repose against a backdrop of rock music and the unmistakable aroma of apple pie.

The use of olfactory sensations that signify “America,” as comforting as they might seem culturally, actually create a somewhat disorienting experience when re-contextualized with art objects in a museum setting. The music of bands like Limp Biskit, Linkin Park and Rage Against the Machine represents the soundtrack of American soldier culture; its sheer mundanity echoes the kitschy addition of aroma, but also somehow underscores the sense of vulnerability the sculptures creates.

The Argentinean-born artist produced these works in the wake of personal trauma and recovery from injuries suffered in an accident riding in a Greyhound Bus in 2013. After growing up in Spain, she studied in London and now alternates between Los Angeles, London and New York City.

She has used social-media commentary in works based on a series of selfies on Instagram, and all her work deconstructs what we have taken as “stock” or commonplace in our visual environments. The museum will host an artist’s reception Friday, Aug. 28, 7-9 p.m. (Brian Staker) Amalia Ulman: Stock Images of War @ Utah Museum of Contemporary Art, 220 S. West Temple, 801-328-4201, Aug. 14-Oct. 31.

UtahMOCA.org

ENTERTAINMENT PICKS AUG. 13-19

Complete Listings Online @ CityWeekly.net

TUESDAY 8.18

Celebrating Ivan Doig Novelist Ivan Doig (pictured)—who passed away in April 2015 at the age of 75—may have been most closely associated with his native Montana, but his stories resonate beyond the specifics of Big Sky Country. A recipient of the Stegner Award, Doig crafted tales about the stoic characters of the Rocky Mountains and American West that led to a loyal readership always eager for his next work.

On Aug. 18, Doig’s final novel, Last Bus to Wisdom, will be published. Set in 1951, it follows an 11-year-old boy named Donal, who is sent from his home in Montana to stay with a great-aunt in Wisconsin while his caretaker grandmother recovers from surgery. But Donal discovers that his Aunt Kate is an unpleasant person with whom to live—an opinion shared by her husband, Herman.

When one clash too many finds Donal on a bus back to Montana, Donal is surprised that he has a companion on his adventure-filled journey away from Aunt Kate: Uncle Herman.

On this publication day, The King’s English joins with many bookstores nationwide in celebrating the life and work of Ivan Doig. Those who knew him, or simply loved his writing, are invited to join in commemorating the gifted writer before taking home a copy of Last Bus to Wisdom. It’s a great opportunity to bid one final farewell to the artist, even as his art continues to inspire readers.

(Scott Renshaw) Celebrating Ivan Doig @ The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, 801-484-9100, Aug. 18, 7 p.m., free.

KingsEnglish.com

SATURDAY 8.15 City Weekly’s Utah Beer Festival

When City Weekly’s Utah Beer Festival was first conceived six years ago, the majority of the participating breweries hailed from this desert dry state of ours: Think Wasatch, Uintah and Squatters. As the festivities grew, the event has become more and more inclusive of regional breweries, like Firestone Walker from California and New Belgium from Colorado.

In 2015, though, the festival has grown to feature 50 breweries, each bringing a selection of brews from such far off places as Vermont and Japan—not to mention gluten-free cider. Even the most diehard fermentation fanatic can’t possibly sample them all in one day.

Of course, to keep drinking you must also feed your belly something solid. That’s where all your favorite food trucks and carts come in to save your festival day: pizza from The Pie, a bowl of delicious Korean barbecue from CupBop and/ or a snack taco from 3 Brothers. You can also become a VIP and join The Beer Professor, Bob Trewartha, in the Lounge for special tastings and smaller crowds.

But with so many unfamiliar brews on hand, the trick is not to lose focus on the tried-and-true local breweries that still show up to proffer their new recipes. And with those hometown brewery numbers growing, the myth that you can’t get a good beer in the Beehive State has finally been dispelled. (Jacob Stringer)

Utah Beer Festival @ 200 East & Library Square, Aug. 15, 3-8 p.m., $15 in advance, $25 day of festival.

UtahBeerFestival.com

Readers

ballot Deadline for voting August 24th

cityweekly.net/bestofutaharts

PERFORMING ARTS Local Theater Production

q Mama [Plan-B Theatre Company] q The Music Man [Pioneer Theatre Company] q Ordinary Days [Utah Repertory Theater Co.]

Local Theater Performance q Camrey Bagley, Mockingbird [Pygmalion Theatre Company] q Brighton Hertford, Ordinary Days [Utah Repertory Theater Co.] q Latoya Rhodes, The Color Purple [Wasatch Theatre Company]

Original Play q A/Version of Events by Matthew Ivan Bennett [Plan-B] q Mama by Carleton Bluford [Plan-B] q Pilot Program by Melissa Leilani Larson [Plan-B]

Touring/Non-Local Production

Opera/Classical Performance or Production q [write-in]

q Nowhere [NOW-ID] q WTF! [SB Dance]

Dance Production/Performance

q [write-in]

Fashion Design q [write-in]

Standup Comic

Jewelry Design

q Jonathan Falconer q Natashia Mower q Alex Velluto

Tattoo Artist

q [write-in]

q [write-in]

Improv Troupe

LITERARY ARTS

q [write-in]

VISUAL ARTS/CRAFTS Painting Exhibition

q Rebecca Campbell: Boom [CUAC] q Jenny Morgan: Full Circle [CUAC] q Rob France [Mod a-Go-Go]

Photography Exhibition q No Fixed Address [The Leonardo] q Hunter Metcalf [Art Access Gallery] q Stephen Seko [Phillips Gallery]

Sculpture/Mixed Media Exhibition q Marcee Blackerby [Art Access Gallery] q Liberty Blake [Phillips Gallery] q Jason Manley [CUAC] q Panopticon [Utah Museum of Contemporary Art]

Touring/Non-Local Exhibition

q Almost Tango [Ballet West] q Nowhere [NOW-ID] q Portal [Repertory Dance Theatre]

q Christo and Jeanne-Claude [Kimball Art Center] q Our America: The Latino Presence in American Art [Utah Museum of Fine Arts] q Body Worlds & The Cycle of Life [The Leonardo]

Individual Dancer

Short Film

q Efrén Corado Garcia [Repertory Dance Theatre] q Ursula Perry [Repertory Dance Theatre] q Bashaun Williams [Ririe-Woodbury Dance Co.]

q Of One Heart, by Doug Fabrizio, Joseph LeBaron & Travis Pitcher q Ram’s Horn, by Jenna Hamzawi q Return With Honor, by Madi Palmer, Ryann Beeler & Lauren Finlinson

q The Devil’s Only Friend, by Dan Wells q Ink and Ashes, by Valynne E. Maetani q The Late Matthew Brown, by Paul Ketzle

Local Author Non-Fiction q Building Zion, by Thomas Carter q Requiem for the Living: A Memoir, by Jeff Metcalf q The Year of Living Virtuously: Weekends Off, by Teresa Jordan

Local Author Poetry Collection q [write-in]

Local Creator Comic Book, Illustrated Periodical, Zine or Graphic Novel q [write-in]

Recognizing the finest in Salt Lake’s arts community COMING SEPTEMBER 10, 2015 RULES

Vote at cityweekly.net/bestofutaharts Deadline: Monday, August 24, 2015, midnight.

AUGUST 13, 2015 | 17

Vote for your favorites now and help support our local art community. Online votes will be automatically entered to win a pair of tickets from a variety of arts groups.

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ONLINE VOTING ONLY

Rule No. 1: Keep it local Rule No. 2 You must vote in at least 3 categories for your ballot to be counted.

Rule No. 3: Include your real full name and contact info to be eligible to win prizes.

Rule No. 4: One ballot per person. If you enter more than once, all ballots will be eliminated!

Rule No. 5: Online voting only. No paper ballots. #BOUArts

Nominees in selected categories were chosen by City Weekly arts & entertainment staff and freelance contributors. Write-in nominees may be submitted in all categories, including those for which nominees are provided.

Local Author Fiction

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Multimedia Production/Performance

q Nicolo Fonte, Almost Tango [Ballet West] q Rebecca Joy Raboy, Kit Kat Cabaret [SB Dance] q Charlotte Boye-Christensen, Nowhere [NOW-ID]

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q Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo q The Book of Mormon q The Illusionists

Graffiti/Public Art

Choreography

The oft-ignored Oquirrh Mountains offer unique opportunities for exploration.

BY KATHERINE PIOLI comments@cityweekly.net

T

he ridge—a thin line of shattered limestone, green and orange with lichen—felt more like the promenade around a lookout tower than the top of a mountain range. Thousands of feet below on either side, the valley floor seemed to spread directly underfoot. Far to the east ran the line of the Wasatch Range and Utah Lake. To the west lay the empty plains south of Tooele. To the north, I could make out a slip of water from the Great Salt Lake.

The fight to the top had been epic. I’d lost my trail among the cow-trodden paths below and, looking up nearly vertical glacier-carved lines, I’d momentarily doubted the wisdom of an upward scramble. In the end, I’d climbed determinedly straight up the bold face of the safest spur ridge, ignoring multiple failed attempts at mutiny by my dogs, who periodically fled off the bare shoulder of earth into the pines to rest panting in the shade.

The hike to Kelsey Peak in the Oquirrh Mountains was supposed to be easy: Four hours out and back with a slight elevation gain. Along with my lunch and CamelBak, I’d packed some dog biscuits and an extra half-gallon of water with a collapsible bowl for my four-legged companions.

It appeared that the hike to Kelsey Peak would be dry and hot. But what did I know?

I’d never hiked the Oquirrh before, and I didn’t know anyone who had.

The Oquirrhs are an ignored mountain range. This can be a good thing, if you like solitude. Or, it can be a problem, if you want some verification that you’re actually headed in the right direction. Try as I might, I could not find a single guide book or printed map of the Oquirrh range. I tried a number of local camping stores with no luck, so I would recommend doing what I didn’t, and going to the Utah Department

KATHERINE PIOLI

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GET OUT Blazing a Trail

A&E

of Natural Resources bookstore on North Temple, which sells topographical maps of the entire state.

By the time I started out on my adventure, all I knew was that once I reached the parking lot, I would find three so-called trailheads, and I wanted to follow the most western of those starting points. In an attempt to stay on track, I’d also scribbled some notes down on a piece of paper, a list of GPS points for various peaks in the area—including my destination, Kelsey Peak—and some waypoints by which to check my progress. According to other hikers’ online instructions, I would pass some radio antennae somewhere along the way, as well as an 8-foot tall rock cairn.

After a couple wrong turns on the outskirts of Hennifer, I finally found my way to the top of Butterfield Canyon and onto a small saddle that shot immediately back down Middle Canyon on the Tooele side of the mountains. There, at the very crux of the pass, was the promised parking lot, clearly delineated by cement barriers and large enough for about a half-dozen wellpositioned cars. A black, sporty-looking sedan with red tire rims took up at least two of the good parking spots. The owner was nowhere in sight I knew from my mental image of all the maps I’d studied online that my general direction was west by southwest, so it seemed I was off of a good start when the westernmost trailhead—the one I’d read I should follow—started in a giant traversing line around the bend of the mountain, pointed vaguely in the direction of Tooele. The Goshute word “oquirrh” has been translated variously as “cave mountains,” “shining mountains” and “wooded mountains.” It is said that forests once covered the slopes, but the demand for smelter coal by the mining industry, produced with local timber, denuded the hills in a matter of decades.

From the valley, the Oquirrhs still look barren, but the trail I set off on ducked deep into a damp and sweet-smelling forest of aspen and conifer, crisscrossing many small streams along the way.

The trail I took was not the trail to Kelsey Peak. I know that now. But, if I went again, I think I’d follow the same path. Unlike in the Wasatch, so orderly and precise, there’s adventure to be had still in the lonely folds and rises of the Oquirrhs. Why not see where they take you? CW

The Oquirrh Mountains border on the west of Salt Lake City

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THURSDAY 8.13

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Salt Lake County Fair Just when it seems that summer has barely begun, it’s already time for a slight change in the weather. And as we creep towards fall in Utah, ‘tis the season for the fun and festivities of county fairs.

The Salt Lake County Fair celebrates its 79th year with plenty of the activities that recall a simpler time: competitions of cooking, baking, home arts, livestock and performing arts; showcases of crafts and other fine arts; carnival rides, petting zoos and other activities fit for the whole family.

But plenty of other special events fill out the schedule on individual days (some with special individual ticketing required).

Thrill to authentic medieval jousting contests performed by Knights of Mayhem (pictured), or appreciate a wide range of motorized creations from the classic-car show to monster-truck races. With music, food and entertainment of all kinds, it’s a fair bet that you’ll have a better than fair time. (Scott Renshaw) Salt Lake County Fair @ Salt Lake County Equestrian Center, 2100 W. 11400 South, Draper, Aug. 12-15, 10 a.m.-10 p.m., free; some events require tickets. SLCFair.com

PERFORMANCE

866-734-4428, Monday, Thursday-Saturday, 8 p.m, through Aug. 15, SundanceResort.com

THEATER

Caesar’s Blood Utah Shakespeare Festival New American Playwrights Project, Auditorium Theatre, 300 West Street & University Boulevard, Cedar City, 435-586-7878, Aug. 14, 15 & 27, 10 a.m., Bard.org (see p. 16) Crazy for You SCERA Shell, 745 S. State, Orem, 801-225-2787, Monday, Thursday-Saturday, 8 p.m., through Aug. 15, SCERA.org Grease’d: Happy Days Are Here Again! Desert Star Theatre, 4861 S. State, Murray, 801-266-2600, Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, 7 p.m.; Friday, 7 & 9:30 p.m.; Saturday, 2:30, 6 & 8:30 p.m.; through Aug. 22, DesertStar.biz Into the Woods Hale Center Theater Orem, 225 W. 400 North, Orem, 801-226-8600, MondaySaturday, 7:30 p.m.; Saturday matinees, 11 a.m., 3 p.m.; through Aug. 15, HaleTheater.org Jurassic Park City Off Broadway Theatre, 272 S. Main, 801-355-4628, Friday, Saturday & Monday, 7:30 p.m., through Sept. 12, TheOBT.org Oklahoma! Hale Centre Theatre, 3333 S. Decker Lake Drive, West Valley City, 801-984-9000, Monday-Saturday, 7:30 p.m.; Saturday matinee, 12:30 & 4 p.m.; through Oct. 3, HCT.org Saturday’s Voyeur Salt Lake Acting Co., 168 W. 500 North, 801-363-7522, Wednesday-Saturday, 7:30 p.m.; Sunday, 1 & 6 p.m.; through Aug. 30, SaltLakeActingCompany.org Shrek the Musical Sandy Arts Guild, Sandy Amphitheater, 9400 S. 1300 East, MondaySaturday, 8 p.m., through Aug. 15, SandyArts.com Utah Shakespeare Festival: Amadeus, Charley’s Aunt, The Comedy of Errors, Dracula, Henry IV Part Two, King Lear, South Pacific, The Taming of the Shrew, The Two Gentlemen of Verona 351 W. Center Street, Cedar City, 800-752-9849, through Sept. 5, Bard.org The Wiz Empress Theatre, 9104 W. 2700 South, Magna, 801-347-7373, Monday, Friday & Saturday, 7:30 p.m.; Saturday matinee, 2 p.m.; through Aug. 29, EmpressTheatre.com The Wizard of Oz Sundance Summer Theatre, 8841 N. Alpine Loop Road, Sundance,

DANCE

Handwritten Starry Eyed Contemporary Dance Project, Sugar Space, 616 Wilmington Ave., Aug. 13-14, 7:30 p.m. Facebook.com/TheStarryEyed

CLASSICAL & SYMPHONY

Time for Three w/ Utah Symphony Red Butte Gardens, 300 Wakara Way, 801-355-2787, Thursday, Aug. 13, 7:30 p.m., RedButteGarden.org Utah Valley Symphony w/ Nathan Pacheco SCERA Shell, 745 S. State, Orem, 801-225-2787, Aug. 17, 8 p.m., UtahValleySymphony.org

COMEDY & IMPROV

Aaron Woodall Wiseguys Comedy Club, 269 25th St., Ogden, 801-622-5588, Aug.14-15, 8 p.m., WiseguysComedy.com Felipe Esparza Wiseguys Comedy Club, 2194 W. 3500 South, West Valley City, 801-463-2909, Aug. 14-15, 7:30 & 9:30 p.m., WiseguysComedy.com

SPECIAL EVENTS FARMERS MARKETS

Downtown Farmers Market Pioneer Park, 300 W. 300 South, Saturday, 8 a.m.-2 p.m.; Tuesday, 4-9 p.m., through Oct. 24, SLCFarmersMarket.org Provo Farmers Market Pioneer Park, 500 W. Center St., Provo, Saturday, 9 a.m.-2 p.m., through Oct. 31, ProvoFarmersMarket.org 9th West Farmers Market Jordan Park, 1060 S. 900 West, Sunday, 10 a.m.-2 p.m., through Oct. 25, 9thWestFarmersMarket.org Park Silly Sunday Market Historic Main Street, Park City, Sunday, 10 a.m., through Sept. 20, 435-655-0994, ParkSillySundayMarket.com Wheeler Farm Farmers Market Wheeler Farm, 6351 S. 900 East, Murray, 801-792-1419, Sunday, 9 a.m.-2 p.m., through Oct. 25, WheelerFarm.com

moreESSENTIALS FESTIVALS & FAIRS

Davis County Fair Legacy Events Center, 151 S. 1100 West, Farmington, Aug. 12-15, 9 a.m.-10 p.m., free, DavisFair.com Salt Lake County Fair Salt Lake County Equestrian Center, 2100 W. 11400 South, Aug. 12-15, 12 p.m.-10 p.m. Wednesday, 10 a.m.-10 p.m.

Thursday-Saturday, SLCFair.com (see above) Ogden Valley Balloon & Artist Festival Eden Park, 2100 N. 5600 East, Eden, Aug. 12-14, Thursday-Friday, 6:30 a.m.-9:30 p.m.; Saturday, 6:30 a.m.-12 p.m.; OgdenValleyBalloonFestival.com Oktoberfest Snowbird Resort, 9385 S. Snowbird Center Dr., 801-933-2222, Saturday-Sunday, 12 p.m.6:30 p.m., through Oct. 11, Snowbird.com Utah Beer Festival Library Square & 200 East, Aug. 15, 3-8 p.m., UtahBeerFestival.com (see p. 16)

LITERATURE AUTHOR EVENTS

Celebrating Ivan Doig The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, 801-484-9100, Aug. 18, 7 p.m., free, KingsEnglish.com (see p. 16)

VISUAL ART Alla Prima: Acrylic Paintings by Jennifer Seeley Main Library Level 2 Canteena, 210 E. 400 South, 801-524-8200, artist reception Aug. 17, 6:30-8

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

GALLERIES & MUSEUMS

p.m., through Sept. 20, SLCPL.org Amalia Ulman: Stock Images of War Utah Museum of Contemporary Art, 20 S. West Temple, 801-328-4201, through Oct. 31, UtahMOCA.org (see p. 16) Andrew Fillmore: Proof Mestizo Institute of Culture & Arts, 631 W. North Temple, Suite 700, through Sept. 13, MestizoArts.org Articles of Clothing Rio Gallery, 300 S. 400 West, 801-245-7272, Monday-Friday, 8 a.m.-5 p.m., through Aug.28, Heritage.Utah.gov Bill Reed: Fine Gold & Stainless Steel Art at the Main, 210 E. 400 South, 801-524-8200, Aug. 10-Sept. 12, SLCPL.org Chalk on the Sidewalk: Works by Layne Meacham Salt Lake City Main Library, 210 E. 400 South, 801-524-8200, artist reception Aug. 15, 4 p.m.-5:30 p.m, through Sept. 25, SLCPL.org Desert Dreams: Paintings by Diana Stover Salt Lake City Library, 210 E. 400 South, 801-3634088, through Aug. 15, ArtAtTheMain.com Doug Leen: Posterity and Parks Kimball Art Center Garage Gallery, 638 Park Ave., Park City, 435-649-8882, through Aug. 30, KimballArtCenter.org Faith Hagenhofer: Newland Kimball Art Center Badami Gallery, 638 Park Ave., Park City, 435-6498882, through Aug. 30, KimballArtCenter.org Flora+Fauna Alice Gallery, 617 S. Temple, 801236-7555, Monday-Friday 8 a.m.-5 p.m., through Sept. 11, Heritage.Utah.gov Hyunmee Lee Phillips Gallery, 444 E. 200 South, 801-364-8284, through Sept.11, Phillips-Gallery.com

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AUGUST 13, 2015 | 21

moreESSENTIALS Illustrating Literature: Drawings by Stephanie Peters Day-Riverside Library, 1575 W. 1000 North, 801-594-8632, free, artist reception Aug. 15, 2:30 p.m., through Sept. 20, SLCPL.org Jared William Christensen: Strange Environment Sweet Library, 455 F St., 801-594-8651, MondaySaturday, through Aug. 15, SLCPL.org Justin Carruth: Depart Broadway Centre Cinemas, 111 E. 300 South, 385-215-6768, through Oct. 3, CUArtCenter.org

22 | AUGUST 13, 2015

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Macie Hamblin and Eugene Tachinni The Green Loft, 2834 South Highland Drive, 801-599-5363, Monday through Friday, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.; Art Walk receptions Aug. 14, 6 p.m. to 9 p.m., through Sept.

4, GoGreenLoft.com Mall No. 2 Utah Museum of Contemporary Art, 20 S. West Temple, 801-328-4201, through Sept. 12, UtahMOCA.org

Utah’s Got Dance!

COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE @ CITYWEEKLY.NET

Memento paintings by Mary Sinner A Gallery, 1321 S. 2100 East, 801-583-4800, MondaySaturday, 10 a.m.-6 p.m., through Sept. 11, AGalleryOnline.com Milton Neely: Metal Art, a Natural Inspiration Salt Lake City Library, 210 E 400 South, 801-594-8623, Monday-Saturday, through Aug. 27, SLCPL.org Tour: UMOCA’s Garden Installation Utah Museum of Contemporary Art, 20 S. West Temple, 801-328-4201, Aug. 15, 10:00 a.m., UtahMOCA.org Rebecca Reese Jacoby Finch Lane Gallery, 54 Finch Lane, 801-596-5000, Monday-Friday, 9 a.m.-5 p.m., through Sept. 25, SaltLakeArts.org Rewritten Places: Palimpsest Paintings

by Linnie Brown Art Access Gallery, 230 S. 500 West, 801-328-0703, through Aug. 14, AccessArt.org

Richard Lance Russell Finch Lane Gallery, 54 Finch Lane, 801-596-5000, Monday-Friday, 9 a.m.-5 p.m., through Sept. 25, SaltLakeArts.org Rob Wees: Dreams Unfolded Salt Lake Library Sprague Branch, 2131 S 1100 East, 801-594-8640, through Sept. 18, SLCPL.org Rodrigo Valenzuela: Prole CUAC, 175 E. 200 South, 385-215-6768, Tuesday-Friday, 11 a.m.-6 p.m.; Saturday, noon-4 p.m., through Sept. 12, CUArtCenter.org Sri Whipple God Hates Robots, 314 West Broadway, Suite No. 250, through Aug. 14, MondayFriday, 11 a.m.-5 p.m., GodHatesRobots.com Summer Group Show Phillips Gallery, 444 E. 200 South, 801-364-8284, through Aug. 14, Phillips-Gallery.com Utah Watercolor Society Small Works Exhibition Bountiful Davis Arts Center, 745 S Main, Bountiful, through Aug. 21

fesitival family fun music

sep. 4, 5, 6 labor day weekend

THE BEST DANCE SPECTACULAR IN UTAH! SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 12TH AT 8PM

Draper Amphitheater will play host to the best and most unique dance show in the State! It will be fast paced with lots of performances with a wide variety from contemporary to hip-hop, modern-jazz, and everything in between. A jam packed show of group after group.

Just look at these scheduled to perform!

University of Utah Hip-Hop (Rhythm) UVU Ballroom SUU Hip-Hop/Belly Dance Snow College Ballroom/Jazz/Modern BYU Hip-Hop Dixie State Drill Team UDO Jesse Sykes-Popper High Definition Cloggers Underground - Contemporary Brotherson Elite Frontier Dance Locomotion Tap Center Stage Highland High School West Jordan High School West High School ...And More

FOR TICKETS AND MORE INFORMATION VISIT

DRAPERAMPHITEATER.COM

FEATURING Gin blossoms nitty gritty dirt band fastball Rembrandts royal bliss b l a c k j a c k b i l ly Jagertown Motorcycle Rally BBQ Competition chili cook-off WyomingWestMusicFest.com

BEER COOKING

99 Bottles of Beer in the Kitchen

DINE

ME SUM

NING I A T TER R EN

S

L A I T SSEN

E

Beer is not just for drinking anymore.

Who doesn’t love a vast selection of cheese, meats and fine chocolates?

BY TED SCHEFFLER comments@cityweekly.net @critic1

B

Shout for stout-braised beef ribs.

Caputo’s Downtown 314 West 300 South 801.531.8669 Caputo’s On 15th 1516 South 1500 East 801.486.6615

Caputo’s U of U 215 S. Central Campus Drive 801.583.8801

caputosdeli.com

AUGUST 13, 2015 | 23

Caputo’s Holladay 4670 S. 2300 E. 801.272.0821

| CITY WEEKLY |

It’s pretty simple and takes only about 15 minutes of prep time. Simply sit back and sip some stout while the short ribs braise.

Here’s how I do it: Pat dry 1 to 1 1/2 pounds of beef short ribs with paper towels, and season generously with salt and pepper. In a Dutch oven or stock pot, heat 2 tablespoons olive oil over medium-high heat. When the oil is hot and just begins to smoke, add the short ribs. Sauté the short ribs, turning until well-browned on each side. Remove to a plate.

Add two cloves minced garlic and half a diced onion to the Dutch oven and sauté until lightly browned, stirring frequently for about two to three minutes. Add a diced celery rib and a diced carrot and cook, stirring frequently for five minutes.

Pour 2/3 cup beef stock into the Dutch oven and stir, scraping up the brown bits from the bottom of the pan (this is called deglazing). Add the ribs back to the Dutch oven, along with 1 rosemary sprig and a couple of thyme sprigs, plus 12 ounces Irish stout, and stir. Bring the stew to a simmer and cook, uncovered, for 20 minutes.

While the stew cooks on the stove, preheat the oven to 380 degrees. Cover the Dutch oven or pot and place it in the preheated oven. Allow the beef to braise until tender, about 2 hours. Remove and discard the herbs. Taste for seasoning, and add salt and/ or pepper as needed. Serve with sides such as a crisp green salad, Irish soda bread, pasta or mashed potatoes. CW

Be sure to check out our growing bitters and cocktail mixers collection. Just in time for summer.

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or Kahlua, depending on the island you’re missing, and hit ‘blend.’ ” Ales—which include dark beers like porter and stout, as well as milder brews such as hefeweizen and pale ale—tend to have heavier flavors which can be earthy, fruity, spicy or all of the above. Lagers are lighter and more subtle in flavor, as well as drier, generally, than ales. So, you’d turn to a lager for crispness (think acidity in wine) and maybe a stout for bolder, toasty malt flavors.

When cooking with beer, keep in mind the flavor components of the beer. An IPA, for example, with its hoppy bitterness, might be too bitter for many foods and would overpower them. In that case, a light lager might be the answer. On the other hand, an IPA could really perk up a batch of braised Brussels sprouts.

And I wouldn’t hesitate to throw some IPA in with other spicy ingredients for a Marylandstyle shrimp and crab boil.

Some recipes call for marinating food in beer. Be careful here—I’ve found that beer marinades often turn food a funky, gray color. I prefer to use beer for adding flavor during cooking, not beforehand.

At certain restaurants—Porcupine Pub & Grill is one—you’ll find spent-grain bread.

Making bread like this is a way to combine home brewing and cooking with beer. In this case, the homemade bread incorporates the grains that are leftover from the mash during brewing. The spent grains are flavorful and nutritious, and can add a unique characteristic and texture to your home-baked bread.

As I alluded to earlier, braising with beer is one of the easiest entry points into cooking with beer. One of my favorite recipes is beef short ribs braised with Irish stout.

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

eer brewing dates back at least to ancient Egyptian and Sumerian times. And, until fairly recently in human history, beer was the preferred beverage over water, since it was considered healthier. But the ancients didn’t only drink beer; they also cooked with it.

According to National Public Radio food writer Kevin D. Weeks, “ancient Egyptian and Sumerian physicians considered cooking with beer a healthy practice.”

Of course, back during the Babylonian and Egyptian empires, brewing beer itself was much akin to cooking. Spices and herbs were often added to fermenting brews, along with things like carrots, cheese and hemp. I suspect that beer in ancient times was a little more like stew than the clear, clean brews of today.

I’m sure we’ve all been exposed to cooking with beer in one form or another. Beerbattered fish & chips or onion rings, for example, have been on pub and bar menus for as long as I can recall. A lot of chiliheads I know incorporate beer into their chili con carne; and, for tailgaters, beer-braised brats are a staple. Beef & Guinness stew is a slamdunk, especially on St. Paddy’s Day. Like wine, broth or stock, beer adds flavor to foods. The flavor might be relatively light and subtle, or could be big, bold and rich. As is the case when cooking with wine, you’ll want to follow some basic matching principles when cooking with beer. For example, it’s better to use a dry white wine than a rich, heavy red in a light cream pasta sauce. Similarly, if you’re creating an airy batter for fish, you’d turn to a light beer like Pilsner, not a stout or porter.

Similar to cooking with wine, quality matters when using beer in the kitchen. It’s OK to sip Coors Light while you’re cooking, but reach for something more flavorful to use in the cooking. By the way, teetotalers needn’t worry: The beer flavors the food, but virtually all of the alcohol burns away during cooking. The exception, of course, is using beer (or wine) to flavor uncooked foods. City Weekly and Devour Utah art director Derek Carlisle has the simplest, most straightforward recipe for the latter—an uncooked beer dessert—I’ve ever heard: “Combine stout, ice cream and your choice of Baileys

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

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24 | AUGUST 13, 2015

FOOD MATTERS

BY TED SCHEFFLER @critic1

Contemporary Japanese Dining L U N C H • D I N N E R • C O C K TA I L S

18 WEST MARKET STREET • 801.519.9595

A Spicy Affair

If you’re a chilihead like me, you’ll want to mark your calendar for Wednesday, Sept. 30. That’s the date of this year’s Great Salt Lake Chili Affair, a benefit to support The Road Home’s efforts to combat homelessness. The spicy affair will take place from 5:30-9:30 p.m. at the Salt Palace Convention Center and will feature chili, along with salads, breads, desserts and more from many of Utah’s best restaurants and chefs. The event includes food and drink, a silent auction and live entertainment from groups such as Rejuvenation, Tausala, Capoeira and others. “The Great Salt Lake Chili Affair is a great way to have a wonderful time with your friends and family while supporting the people The Road Home serves,” said event chairman Tony Smith.

“To me, this [small] investment is really in people and their hopes and dreams of being able to find a home.” Tickets are $42 a person, or for $300, you can reserve a table for eight. Kids 12-and-under get in free. Tickets can be purchased online at TheRoadHome.org.

Brass Tag Wins Brass Ring

According to online voters, Deer Valley Resort’s Brass Tag restaurant has Park City’s best cocktail. During the month of July, the Park City Area Restaurant Association held its Summer Cocktail Contest, pitting 16 of Park City’s best bars, restaurants and mixologists against one another. I miss the “live” version of the cocktail contest (since I got to be a judge), but allowing folks to taste and vote for their favorite Park City cocktail is more democratic. Brass Tag bartender Josh Hockman won the contest with his “Evangeline” cocktail: 1 1/2 ounce Beehive Distillery Jackrabbit Gin, 1 barspoon cassis vinegar, 1/2 ounce basil-infused Utah honey, and 3 ounces rose lemonade. “This contest was a blast, and we’re honored that voters loved Josh’s creation,” said Deer Valley Food & Beverage Director Jodie Rogers. According to PCARA Executive Director Ginger Ries, the Evangeline scored earned 3,287 votes out of 10,526 total votes, taking first place. More information at DeerValley.com

Bakery • Cafe • Market •Spirits

-Liquor Outlet-Creekside Cafe-Market-

NOW OPEN!

ruthscreekside.com 4170 Emigration Canyon Road 801.582.0457 As seen on “ Diners,

Serving American Drive-ins AnD Dives” Comfort Food Since 1930

-CreeksiDe PAtios-Best BreAkfAst 2008 & 2010-85 YeArs AnD GoinG stronG-DeliCious MiMosAs & BlooDY MArY’s-sAt & sun 11AM-2PM-live MusiC & weekenD BrunCh“In a perfect world, every town would have a diner just like Ruth’s”

“Like having dinner at Mom’s in the mountains” -Cincinnati Enquirer

-CityWeekly

Quote of the week: A crust eaten in peace is better than a banquet partaken in anxiety.

—Aesop Food Matters 411: teds@xmission.com

4160 Emigration Canyon road

801 582-5807 www.ruthsdinEr.Com

ere... h is r e m m Su

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Spice up your life!

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13 NEIGHBORHOOD LOCATIONS FA C E B O O K . C O M / A P O L L O B U R G E R

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M-Th 11-10•F 11-11•S 12-11•Su 12-9

9000 S 109 W, SANDY & 3424 S STATE STREET

801.566.0721•ichibansushiut.com NOW OPEN! 6930 S. STATE STREET • 801.251.0682

AUGUST 13, 2015 | 25

AND ASIAN GRILL

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26 | AUGUST 13, 2015

BEER, WINE & SPIRITS

Beer Basics

Get the most out of City Weekly’s Utah Beer Festival 2015.

BY TED SCHEFFLER comments@cityweekly.net @critic1

Y

ears ago, I helped write and edit a book called Beer for Dummies. I learned a lot about beer. Since that book was published, in 1996, craft brewing in America has grown exponentially. We have more and better access to great beer than ever. For example, Utah now has the upcoming City Weekly Utah Beer Festival, a bevy of local brewpubs, and beer-specialty bars like The Bayou (aka “Beervana”) and the Beerhive Pub. And yet, there are plenty of this country’s citizens who have never ventured beyond American lagers such as Budweiser and Coors. If you’re one of those, or if you could use a beer primer on the most basic and most popular beer styles, this is for you: a few of the most popular lagers and ales, as well as some of my local favorites:

Pilsner

A mild, pale lager first created in the city of Pilsen in the Czech Republic. Typically bottom-fermented (as are most lagers) and made with Saaz noble hops and pale malts.

Classic: Pilsner Urquell; Local: Bohemian Brewery 1842 Czech Style Pilsener

American Pale Ale

The quintessential American beer, made with American hops such as Cascade, and hoppier than British ales. It’s easy-drinking and refreshing. Classic: Sierra Nevada Pale Ale; Local: Uinta Brewing Cutthroat Pale Ale

Hefeweizen

A golden-yellow wheat beer (weißbier) from south Germany, originally. The yeast produces classic phenolic flavors of banana and cloves. It has a cloudy appearance, and is usually served with a lemon wedge. Classic: Weihenstephaner Hefeweissbier; Local: Epic Brewing Intermountain Wheat Beer

India Pale Ale

Wildly popular today, this aggressively hopped pale ale was originally created in England by the Bow Brewery as an export beer for India. It has a higher alcohol content than most ales, and is both crisp and bitter. Classic: Samuel Smith’s India Ale; Local: Squatters IPA

DRINK Porter

A dark, easy-to-drink ale with light malt flavors and some chocolaty sweetness. This drink is sometimes aged in bourbon barrels. Classic: Fuller’s London Porter; Local: Wasatch Polygamy Porter

Stout

A dark ale made with roasted malts or barley. Of many variations, dry stout (Guinness) is the most common.

It’s similar to porter, but is brewed at a higher gravity (relative density). Classic: Guinness Draught; Local: Desert Edge Latter Day Stout Since this primer only scratches the surface, go discover your favorite beer style at the Utah Beer Festival! CW

Italian Village italianvillageslc.com

GOODEATS Complete listings at cityweekly.net Featuring dining destinations from buffets and rooms with a view to mom & pop joints, chic cuisine and some of our dining critic’s faves!

Cafe Silvestre

Get your Italian on.

5370 S. 900 E. MURRAY, UT MON -THU 11 a-11 p F R I -SAT 11a-12 a / SUN 3p - 1 0 p

801.266.4182

197 North Main St • Layton • 801-544-4344

At Cafe Silvestre, you’ll find authentic Mexican food in a festive atmosphere. The homestyle tamales are an especially good choice. Start off your meal with guacamole, poppers, chips & salsa or nachos before jumping into plentiful dishes such as smothered burritos, chile rellenos and fajitas. The encebollado steak with onions and peppers is especially tasty, and another bit of deliciousness is the pork ribs. Cafe Silvestre serves imported and domestic beers, liquor and yummy margaritas. Don’t forget the fried ice cream or flan for dessert. Multiple locations; CafeSilvestreUT.com

Baja Cantina

Patio Now Open

7pm-10pm $20 with a $15 food min

ninth & ninth & 254 south main

2014

call for details 801-583-8331

376 8TH AVE, STE. C, SALT LAKE CITY, UT 385.227.8628 | AVENUESPROPER.COM

tickets available in the City Weekly store cityweeklystore.com

Chinese

TUES-SAT | 4:30-10PM SAT | 9AM -10PM • SUN | 9AM -3PM

Beer 2005

2007 2008

voted best coffee house

Wine Sake

Fresh homemade food. Family owned. • 3411 Redwood Road • 801.906.0934

WWW.HOTDYNASTY.COM 3390 S. STATE ST. 801-712-5332

AUGUST 13, 2015 | 27

Dim Sum

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1615 SOUTH FOOTHILL DR. 801 583 8331 • BLEUBISTROSLC.COM

BREAKFAST • LUNCH SMALL PLATES & DINNER ENTREES

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live on 8/18

PATIO NOW OPEN

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Levee town

Known for its great Mexican food, cheap margaritas and casual, friendly service, this is probably the funkiest joint at Park City Resort. It has a pub atmosphere, with many year-round regulars creating a friendly ambiance. The place is at the far end of the second level of the resort center. 1284 Lowell Ave., Park City, 435-649-2252, BajaParkCity.com

REVIEW BITES A sampler of Ted Scheffler’s reviews

@Washington Square

Sáme Sushi

While the emphasis is definitely on Japanese flavors, South of the Border influences also pop up in chef Fernando Trejo’s food. I like to think of it as MexicAsian cuisine. The décor hasn’t changed in the spot that was formerly home to Dojo, and that’s a good thing; it’s a very modern space, but also very warm and appealing. Sáme Sushi offers both nigiri and sashimi priced at $4.50 for two pieces, which is not bad. The low prices cause me to wonder why the place isn’t packed every night. The location is a bit hidden, but only $13.95 for Kobe beef teriyaki (including miso soup, rice and tempura veggies)? We were really bowled over by the price of the dishes like the Large Sashimi Combination, which was 15 pieces of sashimi for $18.95. I’ve seen restaurants charge $30 or more for the same quantity of sashimi. A roll named for Trejo himself was by far my favorite: a fiery Mexico-meets-Japan combination of tuna, jalapeño and spring salad with cilantro wrapped in pink-colored rice paper and drizzled with spicy Asian vinaigrette. Hasta la vista, Sáme. We’ll be back. Reviewed Aug. 6. 423 W. 300 South, 801-363-0895, SameSushi.com

Breakfast & Lunch Weekdays

Let Us Cater Your Next Event

450 S. 200 E. • 801.535.6102 CYTYBYRD.COM

Deli Done Right 2014

Deer Valley Grocery-Café

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28 | AUGUST 13, 2015

CYTY BYRD

Endless ta pas t u e s d ay s

25

$

per persoN

Wine Wednesdays

Hidden away inside the Deer Valley Plaza building is a spot that offers an array of specialty foods to take home, plus the café itself. Highlights from the breakfast menu include house-made challah French toast, or the Southwestern breakfast wrap featuring scrambled eggs, black beans, pepper jack cheese, green chilies, heirloom tomatoes, fresh guacamole, spiced spuds and salsa fresca. Lunch runs the gamut from salads, soups and chili to sandwiches, pizzas and a handful of specialties, like the delicious butternut squash and shiitake mushroom enchilada. I’ve largely given up on fish tacos in restaurants, but here they’re made from salmon dusted with rice flour, flash-fried to a crispy crust, and served with grilled scallion-citrus slaw and roasted poblano guacamole, drizzled on warm corn tortillas and sprinkled with pumpkin seeds. I do wish the management would require only customers buying takeout items to pay at the register, and offer full, sit-down table service for customers who are eating in. That register line gets especially crowded on Sunday evenings, for good reason: a special menu with items grilled on the deck, along with live music. Reviewed July 30. 1375 Deer Valley Drive South, Deer Valley Plaza Building, 435-615-2400, DeerValley.com/dining

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AUGUST 13, 2015 | 29

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| UTAH BEER FESTIVAL |

C 4 9

ity Weekly is now six years into its annual celebration of suds, aka the Utah Beer Festival. This year—on Saturday, Aug. 15, to be exact, from 3-8 p.m., at Library Square—the UBF hopes to attract some 6,000 beer aficionados, who’ll have a chance to test and sample nearly 200 varieties of beers from 50 beer purveyors. They’ll be able to nosh on food offerings, from pizza and burgers to curry and Korean barbecue, and they’ll get their toes tapping to bands such as Whiskey Fish (3:30-4 p.m.), Folk Hogan (5-6 p.m.) and Afro Omega (6:30-7 p.m.). Tickets are $15 in advance ($25 at the gate), with a share of the proceeds going to support the Humane Society of Utah.

Those willing to plunk down a few extra shekels can hang out in the air-conditioned VIP Lounge at The Leonardo, where they’ll acquire beer-tasting smarts from the Beer Professor, Bob Twewartha (see Five Spot, p. 8). The Salt Bistro, as The Leonardo’s new in-house restaurant/ caterer, will serve specialty foods to pair with beer. Meanwhile, Justin Godina, aka J Godina, this year’s winning DJ in City Weekly’s Best of Utah Music Awards, will get the groove started in the VIP Lounge for the first hour.

Want to make a memory of the beer fest? No need to settle on a blurry selfie: the Salt Lake Photo Collective will have a photo booth and will print souvenir photos for a mere $5.

Enough on the festival basics (just the visit UtahBeerFestival.com, for Pete’s sake).

In the following pages, you’ll gather precious intel about the local beer industry itself. The City Weekly staff highlights how local brewers got into the craft, Utah Beer Blog’s Mike Riedel weighs in on the latest trends he’s noticed among local imbibers, and Tiffany Frandsen, City Weekly music writer and copy editor extraordinaire, has outlined places you can hop to—to forage for hops. She’s even gone out on a limb attempting to pair beer with local bands. (Name your own pairings at CityWeekly.net.)

All this is by way of saying: Enjoy the festival! That we’re able to clink our glasses under the Utah sun just adds sweetness to every sip. CW

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MEET THE

BREWERS LIVING THE BREWS Donovan C. Steele is brewmaster at Hoppers Grill & Brewing Co. (890 Fort Union Blvd., Midvale, 801-566-0424, HoppersBrewPub.com). Of Steele, Utah Beer Blog’s Mike Riedel writes, “Donovan Steele is one of the great innovators of beer in the area. If you haven’t been

by Hoppers in a while, you’ve probably missed out on some great old world beer styles that have hardly been seen or tasted in North America. From Patersbier-styled Belgian ales, to Polish Grodziskies and even French style Bier de Gardes; this boy likes variety in his brew house.” (Bill Frost) Dave Watson is head brewer at Bonneville Brewery (1641 N. Main, Tooele, 435-2480646, BonnevilleBrewery.com). Watson was born in Los Alamos, N.M., near Los Alamos National Laboratory, home of the atomic bomb. He enjoys spending his spare time with his 14-month-old daughter. “I also like tinkering with electronics and building things in my basement,” Watson says. “I’m good at coming up with really overcomplicated solutions to simple problems. When I can, I like to travel.” (Brandon Burt) Trent Fargher After operating in Park City for the past four years, Shades of Pale (2160 S. West Temple, 435-200-3009, ShadesOfPale.com) relocated to South Salt Lake—just south of downtown (right next to the Trax Center Point Station). Currently producing five yearround four percent ABV beers in either 12-ounce or 22-ounce bottles in on- and off-premise stores, Shades of Pale is also producing experimental high- and lowpoint beers. Shades of Pale is slated to open its Brewery Tap Room in August.

Plans include an outside seating area and will partner with several other vendors for food. (Derek Edwards) Jeremy Baxter hails from eastern Idaho and now serves as head brewer at Zion Canyon Brewing (2400 Zion Park Blvd., Springdale, 435-772-0404, ZionBrewery.com) in Springdale, Utah. “Production has increased a lot recently, he says. “What we produced up until the end of May this year was the same amount as we made for all last year. It’s a fantastic location for a brew pub [next to the Springdale entrance to Zion National Park].” (Stephen Dark)

Jordan Schupbach has been the head brewer at Epic Brewing Co. (825 S. State, 801-906-0123, EpicBrewing. com) for the past three years. He went to college in Canada, where he started home brewing, and then moved to Portland. While on the waitlist for brew school, he spent a winter ski-bumming in Salt Lake City, which led to his career at Epic Brewing. (Tiffany Frandsen)

It takes a daring man or woman to heed the call of professional beer brewing.

By City Weekly staff • comments@cityweekly.net

A

mong the typical career aspirations for high school graduates—teacher, engineer, doctor, nurse—beer brewer does not rank highly.

Few kids grow up fantasizing that one day, they might be able to brew beer for a living.

There are no merit badges in beer-brewing. Few Utah high-school guidance counselors laud beer brewing as a promising career path.

Only a handful of professional brewing programs are even offered in the United States, and they provide only certificates or diplomas after completing weeks and occasionally months of intensive studies.

As such, many brewers land in the mash quite by accident, and often later in life. Some learn to brew literally on the job. Others are home-brewers who want to turn their hobby into a day job.

The good news is, with the popularity of craft brewing exploding, Utah is riding the wave of that growth. Currently, there are 21 breweries in Utah, with six soon to open. Brewmasters can even earn a living for their long hours and hard work: The Brewers Association Benchmarking and Best Practices Survey ranged 2012 salaries for brew masters at between $45,000 and $50,000/year.

Despite the good news on the industry side, beer brewing will likely remain an under-the-radar occupation in Utah, given the anti-alcohol message drilled into Utah students’ heads during high school and even in college—to say nothing of the fact that a fair number of young’uns won’t ever imbibe the stuff, period. Something to do with their religion.

It begs the question: What was it, then, that flipped the switch for those who do brew beer for a living?

That’s what we asked a representative sample of brewers in our community, and their answers are as varied as the colorful taps festooning any bar.

When did you realize you could brew beer for a living?

Donovan C. Steele (Hoppers Grill & Brewing Co.): I became interested in and obsessed with brewing while at the University of Utah studying anthropology. I knew afterward that I would either go into a culinary field of study or find a way to brew beer for a living, or at least a serious hobby. I’ve always had to figure out how things work, break the components down and build them back up, then try to make stuff from scratch. Beer was a significant challenge: I had to discover how it was made, what made it good and then what made it better. In 2003, just a few years after graduating, I was approached by Tim Barr, then-brew master of Hoppers, to work as the brewer for Ruby River Brewery in Riverdale. I brewed there until 2007.

Dave Watson (Bonneville Brewery): My first brewing job was in a small pub in New Mexico. I was working there as a bartender while I finished college and had just started home brewing with the mad fever of an obsessed beer nerd when one of the shift brewers left. They were nice enough to give me a shot in the brewery. At first, it was just a part-time gig. It wasn’t until I moved to Utah that I realized this might be what I did when I grew up. And you know what? It still might. I’ll let you know.

Trent Fargher (Shades of Pale): As a home brewer, when I was sharing beer with friends, the feedback would be, “You should sell this.” This, however, is always the case with friends who are getting free beer that is drinkable. I would brush this

off—it was a fun hobby and not a big deal. After years of messing around and sharing more, the message [became]: “This is really good; I would buy this.” That got me thinking and looking more into what it would take to start brewing on a full-time basis.

Jeremy Baxter (Zion Canyon Brewing): I started home brewing, like many a brewer. [After] the fourth or fifth batch of beer in my kitchen, I thought, “Oh my God, people do this for a living?” I learned really quickly I wanted to create my own flavors and touched base with a brewer in Telluride, where I was living then. He got me a little grain, sold me 5 gallons for ingredients. I told him: “If you ever have a slow time, I’d love to learn how this works on this scale.” He offered me a job and I worked there from 2007-’09. I moved to Utah in 2010 and joined this brewery in 2013.

Jordan Schupbach (Epic Brewing): When I was in college in Canada, I started home brewing. We started making it because we were poor, but it’s a hobby that most people, once they start, get pretty obsessed with.

I finished college, and I was living in Portland, Ore., and I couldn’t find a job using my degree, so brewing was in the back of my mind. It was one of those things; if you’re going to do what you want to do, do what you love—especially being in Portland, which is a big beer town anyway. I decided to start applying for brewing jobs there, and still didn’t really have any luck. That’s when I decided to go to brew school.

Where did you get your training?

Steele: I studied home-brewing books, the style and history of brewing and traditional brewing methods. Professionally, I was extremely fortunate to learn brewing skills and knowledge on the job from Kevin Ely, currently Uinta’s brew master, who had taken over for Tim Barr soon after I was hired.

Since becoming the brew master of Hoppers in 2007, I’ve continued personal study and taken professional courses from the Seibel Institute of Technology and Doemens’ World Brewing Academy. Fortunately, I had a professor who was a retired production and technical director from South African Breweries by the name of Terry Harris, and through his mentorship and correspondence I was able to dial in my lager fermentation profiles, which I’ve had great success with lately.

Watson: I first got my feet wet (literally) at High Desert in Las Cruces. My first brewery job in Utah was assisting Chris Haas at Desert Edge Brewery. I learned a ton from Haas. Without that experience, I wouldn’t be where I am now.

Fargher: Nothing glamorous on the training: It came through trial and error, books, the Web, forums, talking with other brewers and wherever I could find information. School of hard knocks.

Schupbach: It was the Master Brewers Program at University of California, Davis.

What were you doing prior to this profession?

Steele: I was working at Art’s Brewing Supplies (642 S. Washington St., Salt Lake City, 801-533-8029, ArtsBrewingSupplies.com) for a couple years after graduation from the U of U. It was at Art’s that I became familiar with all the malted grains, hops and yeast strains. I also came to know Tim Barr; he would frequently purchase grain.

Watson: I was a photojournalist. I worked for a

What sets your beer apart from others, and what do you want to be known for?

newspaper in the Four Corners region.

I have a bad habit of turning hobbies into jobs.

Fargher: Most recently, I was doing information technology consulting on Oracle Software products. Prior to that, I was doing accounting, bookkeeping and taxes … basically, learning how to run and operate a business.

Baxter: I’ve been all over the place.

I’ve worked in grocery stores, cleaned homes, shuttled vehicles and shoveled snow. We did what it took to pay bills while we kept looking for what we wanted to do. And in brewing, I found it.

Schupbach: I majored in biology.

My focus was on plants. I wanted to do basic research.

What do you like most and least about brewing?

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AUGUST 13, 2015 | 31

2-Row Brewing 6856 S. 300 West Midvale 801-987-8663 2RowBrewing.com

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fter years of honing his skills as a home brewer, racking up awards for his brews and broadening his beer smarts by taking college courses on the subject, Brian Coleman, coowner and brewer at 2-Row Brewing, decided that he could pull off being a professional brewer.

“I just found I had a huge passion for it and, as I continued to brew and continued to improve, I noticed I had kind of a large following of friends that was waiting for the next batch,” Coleman says.

So Coleman waded into the time-consuming task of opening a real brewery—a process that he says distilled into reality when a 3-barrel (93-gallon) brew house in Georgia became available. “It was one of those big ‘aha’ moments that said, ‘This was your time,’” he says.

For the past month, Coleman and his wife, DeDe, who also co-owns the brewery, have been brewing up four beer styles at their brewery in Midvale. The beers, a pair of hoppy India pale ales, a 9-percent alcohol Saison called “Dangereux”—because of the long list of escapades its devotees experience when imbibing—and a golden ale.

The beers are all above the 4-percent alcohol limit allowable for draft beer in Utah, so Coleman has gone the packaging route, putting his beer in bottles. Though no tasting is presently allowed at the 2-Row brewery, bottles can be purchased there.

2-Row’s wares can also be found in restaurants and bars, including the “three Bs,” as Coleman calls them: the Beerhive, Bayou and Beer Bar. Coleman, who also owns a towing company with DeDe, says he’s enjoyed the transition from home brewer to professional brewer. At home, he says his goals were to simply make beer.

Now, after taking courses in quality control from Oregon State University, Coleman says he enjoys the microbiology side of the beer-making game, monitoring fermentations, tabulating the volume of yeast cells and ensuring that the beers are consistent, and consistently good.

“There’s just nothing better than coming into the brew house early in the morning, cranking the tunes up and mashing in,” he says. (Colby Frazier)

| UTAH BEER FESTIVAL |

necessary evil to keeping the beer good.

Baxter: I love the smell when you mash it, getting that aroma from the mash. I love the creativity involved going toward a style that in all likelihood is the first time it was ever made. I love tasting it, tasting other examples and flavors; I love the whole process. What I like the least? It gets pretty humid in some stages of the process—it’s almost uncomfortable.

It’s really good for your skin; it’s like working in the sauna. The challenges of mechanical issues that arise can be stressful but keep you engaged.

Schupbach: It’s fun making the beer, creating the recipes and seeing something take the baby steps toward something really good. But it’s pretty hard labor. Once the wheels are turning, you can’t stop the process, so it can be a bit stressful. ... When you have brands that you distribute to 18 different states, we don’t necessarily brew everything we want to all the time. My least favorite thing is that my job becomes more and more administrative as we grow. As I move up in the ranks, probably 75 percent of my time now is at a computer. I’ve been here for three years. I’m no longer a shift-brewer. Those are the guys in the trenches, doing all the hard work, but it’s the fun work of mashing in and creating. I’m managing the brewers and making sure everything’s getting done.

Brian Coleman 2-Row Brewing

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Steele: Mostly, the actual process of product design and then brewing the beer: grain, hop and yeast selection, formulating the recipes, executing the fermentation plan and subsequent conditioning—it’s very satisfying to go from concept or idea of what a beer should taste like, to putting together the right ingredients and finally, after weeks or many months later, ending up with a successful beer in hand. All aspects need careful attention for quality control and a good product. What I like doing the least is the almost constant but absolutely required cleaning of the brew house. But, I find the results rewarding and satisfying when everything looks polished and clean.

Watson: It’s a fascinating process.

There are tons of cool parts, but probably my favorite moment in the process of wort production is when the beautiful liquid is first separated from the grain (called lautering). It’s a magical moment I compare to the moment a photograph first begins to develop in the darkroom, if anybody remembers those.

Fargher: It is probably the equipment aspect in building a functioning brew house that I like the best. I also enjoy talking with people outside the brew house about the products that we create.

I love seeing that smile on somebody’s face when they try the beer for the first time, and aren’t disappointed. What do I like least? Janitorial duties. They are the

Steele: Making great beers from a very small brewpub by using highquality specialty malted barleys and grains for all of our beers. I think I’d be known for making creative and flavorful lagers that are balanced in flavor and aroma, clean-tasting and well-designed. Lagers are exciting and should taste complex and refreshing, inviting the consumer to have another.

Watson: About 35 miles. All I want to do is consistently produce quality beers people love to drink.

Fargher: I believe in passion and doing what you love. I believe in hard work, in excellence and creativity. The expression of what I believe is in the beer. The passion is in the bottle, my joy is in sharing it. That is what sets my beer apart: a dream, hard work and creativity. I think you will taste the difference. I want to be known as someone who made the world a better place. Not too big of a goal.

Baxter: They have a unique flavor.

Different regions create different beers with their water source. We have a unique water source with the Virgin River coming through [Zion National Park]. I try to mimic styles I personally find amazing, but they’re always unique. You do the best with what you’ve got, and everything’s going to work out. I want to be known for being damned good at what I do.

Schupbach: The variety of beers that we have. If you come to the retail store on State Street, it almost looks like it’s an aisle you’d find at a craft-beer store because we produce 40 brands. We did a lot of work to make sure those beers are distinct: … We use different yeast strains that give the flavor profiles, three different base malts that can have a large impact on the overall flavor of the beer; we have a ton of specialty malts that give the beers the body, colors, flavors; we contract so many different hops that it’s almost overwhelming. On top of that, we change our water chemistry to match the water chemistry that will be better suited to different styles. If we make a

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32 | AUGUST 13, 2015

beer that’s a pilsner, we try to match the chemistry to water that would come out of Plzen, Czech or Germany—they have very soft water.

What would you tell someone who wants to become a brewer?

Live music stage featuring:

j. Godina 2:15-3:15

whiskey fish 3:30-4:30

folk hogan 5:00-6:00

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Tunes & Brews

Continued from pg 31

afro omega 6:30-7:30 and...check out the karaoke stage open 3-7:30

T

Joel Moore Bohemian Brewery

he brew alchemists at Bohemian Brewery are proud adherents to “continental” beer, that brand of brewing that covers German- and Czech-style brewing. The Germans and Czechs seem to know a thing or two about beer, and Bohemian brewmaster Joel Moore says it’s a proud tradition they follow.

The brewery’s lagers, especially, hearken back to the German invention of “lager” in general, a special beer that, more than a century ago, was stored in caves packed with ice and snow during the summer months, where it developed a crisp, clean finish (lager translates to “storage,” as in the cold storage of the beers). While technology has improved from caves and ice, these old-school principles are still very much alive at Bohemian Brewery.

“That’s definitely the basis of our brewing philosophy,” Moore says, “Trying to stick to the tradition of those brewers.”

Moore himself got into the game over a decade ago at a brewpub in Nebraska, where he worked his way up from a busser to assistant to the brewmaster. He studied brewing at the Siebel Institute of Technology in Chicago, and later in Munich, Germany.

In 2012, he joined with Brian Erickson to head up brewing for Bohemian. Since then, the brewery has gone from four beers on tap to 10.

In 2014, Moore says the brewery produced 4,200 barrels (one barrel is 31 gallons), a 30-percent increase from the year prior, and this year, the brewery is on track to produce 4,800 barrels.

Moore is especially proud of a of a limitededition brew called The Perfect Gentleman Helles lager, made out of 100-percent sterling hops, crafted in homage to Sterling Archer of the Adult Swim cartoon Archer. The helles is light and hoppy, in contrast to other on-tap favorites, such as the brewery’s Dunkelweiss, a dark German wheat beer with distinct bready, caramel notes.

Moore is also proud of the Hefeweizen he helped develop for the brewery—again, because it pays homage to the continental traditions; this Bavarian-style Hefeweizen is heavier and less fruity than Americanized hefs.

“I’m definitely of the opinion that [brewing is] a little bit more science, but I understand the subjective nature of people’s palates,” Moore says. “There is a certain subjective aspect of what you’re building and creating—but it’s based on principles that you must follow, and they are scientific in nature.” (Eric S. Peterson) Bohemian Brewery & Grill 94 E. 7200 South Midvale 801-566-5474 BohemianBrewery.com

Steele: Go talk to local brewers about what the job is like. Ask them what they like and don’t like. There is this misconception that working in a brewery will be days filled with designing recipes, tasting beers and smelling hops. Even for a head brewer responsible for formulation, it’s a small amount of our time. In reality, it’s a lot of cleaning, heavy lifting, troubleshooting and monitoring of operations. If they’re still interested, they should take classes in science, electrical/HVAC, biology, arts, culinary training, research and problem solving, behavioral science, management, accounting, brewing classes in fermentation and quality control/quality assurance. We do a little bit of everything.

Most brewers coming into the industry have or are getting BA or BS degrees and/ or brewing-science-specific diplomas.

Then they should get involved in the local brewing community.

Watson: Read everything you can find, practice a lot and learn to love cleaning. One major difference between home brewing and commercial brewing is there is a lot more time management involved. Things that take 10 seconds at home might take 30 minutes in the brewery. Practice staying focused and streamlining as much as you can.

Fargher: Run, Forrest, run! Expect long hours, low wages and nothing glamorous. If you want the exact opposite, go into sales.

Baxter: I would say start brewing.

Go to your local brew shop and buy a kit, and get after it and follow the cleaning instructions. Don’t skimp on the cleaning. Don’t give up. If the beer doesn’t seem like it’s correct, then wait. It takes experience to learn how much beer changes through its fermentation. It’s no different from any manufacturing. Have a real positive attitude and openness to constructive criticism—and an ability to listen.

Schupbach: There are two routes: The one I took, go to school and dive headfirst, but I would recommend people going and getting an entry-level position at a brewery. It might take a bit of time, if you are trying to do it in your hometown, but just go and get on the packaging crew and move your way up. I’ve seen a lot of the brewers here at Epic—they started on the packaging crew and then worked their way up the brew house. It’s good for people to get a feel of what the work actually is, because it’s a job that gets put up on a pedestal—seems so cool, brewing beer is so amazing, but it’s a lot of work. CW

where the locals hang...

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AUGUST 13, 2015 | 33

• GLUTEN FREE & VEGETARIAN OPTIONS • LOCALLY OWNED • • FREE VIP ROOM • PERFECT FOR CORPORATE EVENTS • • AWESOME PATIO • DELICIOUS NEW MENU •

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34 | AUGUST 13, 2015

FutureCraft

What we want to see more of (and less of) in Utah craft beers.

By Mike Riedel • comments@cityweekly.net

3 BROTHERS TACOS We Do Catering For Any Event!

200 S. State Street | 801-688-9352

O

ver the past 2 1/2 decades, I’ve spent more than a good amount of my free time geeking on, and learning about, all aspects of beer. But it’s been in the past 10 years that the majority of good (and bad) of craft beer has caught on in Utah’s popular culture.

Today, there are 21 different breweries of various sizes around the state—with more coming. The selection of out-of-state and import brands is exploding as well. With such consumer overload, it can be tough to identify what beer trends in Utah are truly working in the best interests of beer drinkers.

So, as I sit here on my barstool, chatting with and gazing out upon all of you happy beer drinkers, I’ve gathered a good sense of what you’re loving and disliking about Utah’s new craft-beer explosion.

Let’s start with some of the less desirable trends:

LESS OF THIS

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Never Fried, Never Frozen Premium Wings and Nut Job Beers

Stupid Gimmicks I get it: In a super-competitive beer world, you need to try to set yourselves apart from the other guys. But, beer made from the yeast found in a brewer’s beard? Beers packaged in the carcasses of dead squirrels? Barrel-aged Tabasco beer? I know our attention spans are getting shorter and shorter, and we need more stimuli to get keep those neurons zapping, but WTF, people?!

Is it Beer or Booze?

This could also fall into the “gimmick” category, but it’s becoming prevalent enough that it deserves its own discussion. Beer is beer because it’s fermented grain. Let whatever superyeast that exists out there do its job to the best of its ability, and we can still call it beer. But when you artificially cold-distill these beers into monstrous rocket fuel, then we should probably give these creations a new classification. Yeah, beverages like Brewmeister Brewing Co.’s Snake Venom Ale—which dials in at 67.5 percent ABV (135 proof)—is still technically beer—but then again, whiskey in its most base form is also beer. These are just outrageously expensive malt-based liquors.

Try us today then again at 1 of our 15 Locations

More Nitro Options Not only are nitrogen-conditioned beers beautiful to look at with their cascading bubbles—falling instead of rising—they are also different on the tongue. They provide a creamy texture while adding elements that appear sweeter compared to carbondioxide-conditioned beers. Avenues Proper’s Oatmeal Red Ale and The Annex’s Single Hop Golden Ale are fine examples of nitro beers.

Ciders & Meads When you’re “all beer’d out” and need something different, it would be nice if we had more options from beer’s close cousins: ciders and meads. The flavor profiles of The Hive Winery’s Stinger Hard Cider and Citrus Blossom Mead are much different from beer and are often enhanced with spices and fruit. Plus, they’re the perfect option for the gluten-free crowd.

R Mike iedel Talks Beer

Trophy Beers I’ve got beers in my cellar that are so rare that the mere act of owning them brings me high status in the craft-beer community. If I drink them, I lose my ownership in them. If I don’t drink them, they’ll just turn into soy sauce or cheese. You already spent the money: Enjoy the damned things! That’s why we have them.

Beer Snobs I used to be one—but I’m not anymore. When you surround yourselves with beer geeks, the mob mentality toward less fizzy yellow beers rub off on the average beer drinker, whose level of self-importance could make the Algonquin Round Table look like Granny’s bingo parlour.

This past June, I actually witnessed some ass spit his beer into the face of an innocent server. Dial it back, beer snobs. You, too, can find joy in a PBR. I have.

OK, the tough part is over for me. Those things we should be doing less of locally are often few and far between. The things we should be concentrating more on as a beer community are far more constructive.

www.bakedwingsarebetter.com

MORE OF THIS

Boozy Beers in Smaller Packaging Right now, I’m looking at a delicious beer that I’d love to drink. I have the shekels in my pocket and the desire in my heart. The problem is that it’s a 750-milliliter bottle of 13 percent ABV beer. If this beer were in a 12-ounce bottle or smaller, my tongue would be molesting it right now. Give the consumer the ability to administer his or her own dosage when it comes to packaging, and we’ll all be happier. Thankfully, some breweries are taking notice. Squatters’ Outer Darkness Imperial Stout is available not only in 22-ounce bottles but also in a more manageable 7-ounce bottle. That’s the perfect size for a 10.5 percent ABV beer.

Social Media I’ve met many close friends through beer social media. No matter their politics or beliefs, we always find common ground over a pint. One I enjoy is Untappd, a unique social drinking app that allows beer lovers to find what beers are nearby and to show what your friends are enjoying.

Beer Buddy accesses the massive beer database from RateBeer.com, allowing users to not only rate beers but participate in discussions. Apps like these go a long way to making a night out more social.

Sour and Tart Beers Once upon a time, I had no use for funky sour beers; now I crave them all the time, and I’m not alone. Home brewers and breweries are expanding their portfolios to meet the increasing demand. To get into the proper frame of mind for a sour beer, you need to have more of a wine mentality. Only then will your mind be more accepting of the tart and sometimes fruity flavors. RedRock’s Paardebloem Dandelion Ale, Wasatch’s Switch Wild Ale & Uinta’s Birthday Suit Sour Ale are all about big puckering/sour-puss enjoyment.

Beer Politics Let’s be honest: We beer lovers know we have unique challenges in Utah. If you want change, participate in the political process. Many of us are tired of the way the state controls alcohol, so get involved!

Everybody sitting with me at this bar is fed up with the 3.2-percentonly beers on tap. It’s not enough to be pissed off. Look to the guy or gal in the mirror, and start hammering away at your state representatives to bring Utah into the 21st century. CW Mike Riedel is a craft-beer connoisseur/advocate who scribes on a regular basis at Utah Beer Blog (UtahBeer.blogspot.com).

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AUGUST 13, 2015 | 35

Ninkasi

B23

Anheuser Busch

B6

Park City Brewing

B32

Annex by Epic Brewing

B31

Payette

B45*

Avenues Proper

B29

Pelican Brewing

B1

Ballast Point

B38

Red Rock

B2

Black Diamond Brewery

B39

Red Rock–High Gravity

B40

Bohemian Brewery

B41

Roosters Brewing

B3

Boulder Beer

B34

Rouge

B38

B4

Boulevard Brewing

B13

Samuel Adams

B37

B5

Constellation Brands

B14

Sapporo

B24

Craft Brew Alliance

B15

Schofferhofer

B35

B7

Deschutes Brewery

B46*

Shades of Pale

B34

B18

Desert Edge

B16

Shiner

B33

B8

Diageo

B30

Sierra Nevada

B33

Epic Brewing

B36

Sockeye Brewing

B9

Firestone Walker Brewing

B19

Squatters

B25

Full Sail Brewing

B21

Squatters/Wasatch High-Gravity

B26

Heineken USA/ Strongbow

B17

St. Killian

B42*

Hoppers Grill and Brewing

B37

Uinta

B10

Lagunitas

B35

Upslope Brewing

B11

Leinenkugel Brewing Company

B44*

Vernal Brewing

B12

Moab Brewing

B20

Wasatch

B23

B27

New Belgium Brewing

B22

Wing Nutz

B22

B39

E

Food Cartel

B13

F4

Banh Mi Time

F3

Chop City

F2

Fat Kid Mac

B10

F1

Cupbop

B9

F11

Urban Press

F4

F1

S3 HOME BREWER BOTTLE PICK-UP

F2

B11

B6

F5

F6

F7

F8

F9

✚ FIRST AID

F10

F11

C2

C1

VIP CHECK-IN

F3

B12

B7

R

LOCAL FOOD VENDORS

B15

B8

TE

C3

C4

THE LEONARDO

B5

M2

X-Communicated Drinkers

M3

From Earth Jewelry

M4

2nd Hand Coasters

B2

M5

BreathAdvisor

B1

B4 B3

0

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O

U

T

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City Weekly’s sixth-annual Utah Beer Festival is the place to sample local, regional and international beers.

Your entry fee provides you with a commemorative mug and five starter drink tokens. All draft samples are available in 5-ounce and 12-ounce pours.

High-point bottle beers will be poured into your 5-ounce cup and will require between 2-4 tokens. Additional tokens can be purchased in packs of five for $5 at one of two on-site token booths.

The festival runs 3-8 p.m. and taps close at 7:40 sharp.

A portion of Utah Beer Festival proceeds will benefit the Humane Society of Utah, a member of the No Kill Utah Coalition, working to keep pets healthy and happy until they are placed in a home. For more information about the cause, please visit UtahHumane.org.

| CITY WEEKLY |

36 | AUGUST 13, 2015

5

C5

Utah Beer Festival is proof that Utah LOVES beer.

| UTAH BEER FESTIVAL |

B14

F5

A

MAIN STAGE

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MillerCoors/Redd

Wing Nutz

W

TOKENS

T

Jamaica’s Kitchen

F6

FESTIVAL STORE

PICNIC AREA

S

F7

BEEHIVE SPORTS GAMING

A

Vermont Hard Cider

Westminister College

0

C4

B18

0

B16

S6

PHOTO BOOTH

T

Chedda Truck

MERCHANTS

TOKENS

B19

F8

Boneyard’s Bloody Blend

ATM

HUMA SOCIETNE Y PET ADOPTI ON

S

B20

A

B21

Angry Orchard

S5

M2 M3 M4 M5 M6

E

B24

C3

Sound Warehouse

S2

B25

B17

S4

S1

RESTROOMS

B42

WA T E R

B26

The Pie

Salt City Brew Supply: Free Home Brewer bottle pick-up

WAT E R

0

B27

F9

S3

B43

B28

Anchor Brewing

Ralph Becker for Mayor

B44

3

B29

C2

S2

Sponsors

B45

B30

Papito Moe’s

Snowbird

H

B46

B31

F10

S1

KARAOKE OPEN 3-7:30PM

B32

Ace Hard Cider

SPONSORS

T

EXIT

B36

C1

C5

U

SLC PUBLIC LIBRARY

0

FOOD VENDORS

B40

2

CIDERS

O

B41

S5

*Tents 42-46 located in Library Square

S

ENTRANCE

S4

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

B28

0

ATM

2 Row Brewing

0

BOX OFFICE

B43*

FREE BIKE VALET

| UTAH BEER FESTIVAL |

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BEER VENDORS

AUGUST 13, 2015 | 37

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hop on hop on it it A conservancy group hikes for hops to create a truly local brew.

Tiffany Frandsen • tfrandsen@cityweekly.net @tiffany_mf

TIFFANY FRANDSEN

P

ark City’s mining boom in the 1880s also brought with it hops.

Immigrants from Germany brought the rhizome plant to Summit County where they came to mine for silver and needed a taste of home after a long day’s work. Now, hops sprout throughout the county. Some are as easy to find as knowing which trails to walk down, while others take a degree of foraging.

June through August, Summit Land Conservancy—a nonprofit that protects open-space land, animal habitats, watersheds and other environmentally sensitive areas—hosts twice-monthly hikes giving opportunities to harvest wild hops. Its brewing partner is Wasatch Brewery, which uses the hops for Summit Land Conservancy’s annual fund-raising beer: Clothing Hoptional.

Since the hops grow wild, the taste of the final product is unpredictable.

Although the conservancy group checks on the hops before harvesting, it leaves the growing part up to nature—nobody is supplementing water or trellising the plants. The spongy, green cones grow from the rhizome root, which selfpropagates underground and grows well in most soil, with lots of sun and water.

They are tough and resilient, so they do just fine in Utah’s climate. Even if exposed portions of a plant die during a brutal winter, the rhizome sprouts anew the following spring.

This means that the chances of getting a wild crop are high, but the varieties of hops harvested is a game of roulette.

Hikers don’t necessarily know which varieties they have discovered. As such, beer drinkers may be surprised by how varied Clothing Hoptional beer tastes from year to year.

Several patches of wild hops are surprisingly urban, growing in pockets of open-space land in and around Park City.

Wild hops can be found on the edge of the pavement on trails along Deer Valley Drive, the Historic Union Pacific Rail Trail—just a 20-minute walk from Main Street in Park City (the bulk of which volunteers harvested in late July)—and along Daly Avenue and other roads.

These ripen near the end of the hiking season, and so far, the volunteers have hop-hunted at McPolin Farmlands, the Virginia Mining Claims (in Old Town) and both Empire and Daly Canyons.

The conservancy monitors and harvests

WANT TO BREW YOUR OWN BEER? WANT TO MAKE YOUR HOME BREWING FASTER & EASIER?

wild hops that grow on private lands, which are preserved through conservation easements. The contracts create an agreement so that land-owners can do mostly what they’d like with the land, as long as they follow the agreed-upon preservation limitations (for example, as long as they don’t build condos or tennis courts). Easements typically don’t expire, so the land is protected even if the ownership changes.

The Summit Land Conservancy hikes are free and open to the public. While the

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primary focus is hop-hunting, the group also talks about other local plants that grow around the trails, as well as what parts of plants are edible (volunteers are encouraged to bring snacks anyway).

The last Summit Land Conservancysponsored hike of the season is Aug. 16, at Prospect Ridge in Park City. More details on the hikes, harvesting and brewing are available at WeSaveLand.org.

Desert Edge Brewery uses local wild hops in one of its brews, Radius. Radius is a light, filtered seasonal ale featuring wild hops harvested within a 180-mile radius of Desert Edge’s Trolley Square location.

Hops can also be found in Salt Lake City—Bohemian Brewery grows hops on trellises alongside the rear of the restaurant and surrounding the parking lot. In late summer months, the leafy vines emit an aromatic smell; those little bulbs that look like green pine cones are hops, and they aren’t long from being harvested and brewed into strong beers. For its rare wet-hopped American red ale Wetter Off Red, Avenues Proper gets hops from a friend who grows them in Salt Lake City.

It’s not just breweries that grow hops.

Vertical Diner, a midtown vegetarian and vegan café, includes hops in its on-site garden among the kale and fennel. Red Butte Garden also has a hop vine not far from the entrance to the amphitheater where concerts are held.

Home-brewers grow hops in their backyards, on fences, trellises, patios, etc.—all it takes is planting a rhizome root in fertilized soil.

Of course, for those who prefer the capriciousness of wild hops—both in foraging and in the taste of their beer— not all the wild hops are on the map.

It may be challenging to discover new sources of those bitter little cones, but it is a worthwhile challenge. Hop on it. CW

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Beers Bands

John Louviere

I Capture Castle The Beer: Uinta’s Wyld Extra Pale Ale—4 percent ABV The Taste: The singer/ songwriter of beers, it pairs well with meats and cheese without stealing attention.

The Band: John Louviere

Like local music? Like local beer? Here’s a list that puts the two together.

By Tiffany Frandsen tfrandsen@cityweekly.net

L

ike any great romance, Utah’s love affair with beer can only be enhanced by a great soundtrack. Adjectives used to describe the complexities of beer are often similar to those used to describe the complexities of music— so why not link them up? Test drive this list of unique artists and beers of Utah and then get on CityWeekly.net to suggest your favorite pairings.

Atheist The Beer: Uinta’s Dubhe Imperial Black IPA—9.2 percent ABV The Taste:Strong and dark The Band: Atheist

Atheist’s—aka Scott Knofp—raps are as hard-hitting and strong as his beats. Sure, he can be dark (check out “Warriors”), but really, his clever wordplay and subject matter keep his tracks amusing and entertaining. As his chosen street name would suggest, he tackles the topic of religion in a state that is hotboxed by it.

And the darkness doesn’t mean he isn’t funny; in fact, some raps are passionate rants about the Teenage Ninja Turtles, and witty stories about parties in the Salt Lake City Avenues (spoiler, here’s the story: The cops show up and tell partygoers to turn down the noise. The partygoers agree. The cops leave. That’s really it.). His shows are intense and faceshaking, and damn, can he freestyle.

John Louviere’s acoustic folk set provides a great ambience with poetic, poignant and emotional lyrics. Lake the ideal background music playing during an evenng out with a beau, he’s subtle and won’t steal attention. Even though he’s a talented guitar-player, the emphasis is on the lyrics; those guitar chords are laying an emotional tone that complements the story. His selfreleased debut, Longest Year, covers a range of man-and-guitar music.

Some tracks, such as “Transplant” and “Turned Out Like You,” are heartwrenching and mellow, while others are punchy folk, such as the upbeat chorus of “Longest Year.”

The Beer: Squatter’s Outer Darkness —10.5 percent ABV The Taste: Smoky and a little rough. If you’re looking for dark, here it is.

The Band: I Capture Castle

A heavy, growling Salt Lake City hardcore metal band, I Capture Castle is doing something relatively new in the metal genre: electronics. This band is basically the musical equivalent of steampunk. The darkness of both the sound and the lyrics is still heavy, and lead singer Marcus Gressman’s voice is gruff and gritty. Their newest EP, Daydreamers, is altogether frenzied, agitated and vigorous. For further proof that this group of heathens is not the stereotypical metal band, check out their growly cover of Ke$ha’s “Take It Off.”

DJ Battleship

The Strike The Beer: Epic Brewing’s Pils Lager: Hops Syndrome—4.5 percent ABV The Taste: Crisp, hoppy, refreshing and tastes a little like tart candy.

The Band: The Strike This band, like the beer, is not what one might expect (with a name like Hops Syndrome, you’d think it would be hoppier—but the bitterness is very subtle).

This dashing group of eight suited-up Provo dudes play popsoul in energetic, funky, jazzy fashion. Lead singer Chris Cabb is a charming and charismatic combination of Michael Bublé and Justin Timberlake (the R&B years), backed by a threepiece brass section and talented guitarists, bassist and drummer.

The Beer: Bohemian Brewery’s Cherny Bock Schwarzbier—4 percent ABV The Taste:A little chocolately, a little coffee-tasting.

The Band: DJ Battleship

This guy is an absolute monster on the steel wheels. That coffee taste in the beer, in this case, creates that fine feeling from drinking joe, a feeling similar to the one I get listening to DJ Battleship.

His spinning is frenzied—his quick hands— are impossible to follow— and he mixes both dark rap roots and ‘90s rap classics like “Jump Around” from House of Pain with lots of erky-erky-erky-whop! vinylscratching.

Talia Keys

Bat Manors The Beer: Epic Brewing’s Sour Apple Saison, Belgian-style Ale —8.1 percent ABV The Taste: Pale gold, with crisp, sour-apple tartness.

The Band: Bat Manors

Bat Manors are calm, summery and more complex than they look. The indiefolk band uses a variety of instruments—including the standard indie-band setup, plus keys, two violins, viola, cello, flute, clarinet, glockenspiel and trumpet. There is a lot of sadness—along with some comfort and hope— in the sound and lyrics of their debut album, Literally Weird (Bleed101 Records). It’s beautiful, with atmospheric, flowing harmonies.

The Beer: Red Rock Brewing Company’s Le Quatre Saison Belgian-style Ale—6.2 percent ABV The Taste: Light, moderately hopped, with a hint of tartness.

The Band: Talia Keys

Talia Keys’ version of blues music is infused with beatboxing, which she does herself (that’s right, Adam’s apples aren’t required to box the beat). Deep down in her bluesy tracks is this hippity-hop reggae beat and sensibility in her songs. Her voice is slightly raspy, but she has tremendous control over the timbre and the rasp sometimes fades into an edge. CW

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pursuit of hoppiness A guide to the brewers and beers at the Utah Beer Festival

2 Row Brewing

■■24K Golden Ale ■■Accelerator Single IPA ■■Random Double IPA ■■Dangereux American

Farmhouse

Ace Hard Cider ■■Ace ■■Ace ■■Ace ■■Ace

Apple Cider Perry Cider Pineapple Cider Pumpkin Cider

Anchor Brewing

■■California Lager ■■Anchor Steam ■■Seasonal: BigLeaf Maple

Autumn Red ■■Anchor IPA

Angry Orchard

■■Crisp Apple ■■Seasonal: Summer Honey ■■Apple Ginger

Anheuser Busch

■■Goose Island IPA ■■Shock Top Belgian White ■■Shock Top Honeycrisp Apple

Wheat ■■Shock Top Lemon Shandy

Boulder Beer

■■Singletrack Rye Pale Ale ■■Buffalo Gold Golden Ale ■■Hazed Hoppy Session Ale ■■Sweaty Betty Blonde

Boulevard Brewing ■■Unfiltered Wheat Beer ■■Tank 7 Farmhouse Ale ■■Pop-Up Session IPA ■■Duvel Tripel Hop

Constellation Brands

■■Victoria Draft ■■Corona Light Draft ■■Corona La Familiar ■■Pacifico Ballena

Craft Brew Alliance

■■Omission Lager (Gluten Free) ■■Omission Pale Ale (Gluten

Free)

■■Widmer Hefeweizen ■■Kona Big Wave Golden Ale

Deschutes Brewery ■■Deschutes River Ale ■■Black Butte Porter ■■Pinedrops IPA ■■Inversion IPA

Annex by Epic Brewing Desert Edge ■■Golden Ale ■■Rimando’s Wit Brewery ■■Berliner Weisse ■■Sour IPA

Avenues Proper Beers

■■Proper Beer—English Golden

Ale ■■Hopspital IPA—American Session IPA ■■Gose the Gozerian—Leipziger Gose ■■Ainsley Amber—Belgian Amber Ale w/ Buckwheat

Ballast Point Brewing ■■Even Keel ■■Victory at Sea ■■Sculpin IPA ■■Grapefruit Sculpin IPA

■■Utah Pale Ale ■■Summertime Kristalweizen ■■British Mild

Diageo

■■Guinness Blonde American

Lager

■■Red Stripe Lager ■■Guinness Pub ■■Smithwick’s Imported

Premium Irish Ale

Epic Brewing

■■Escape to Colorado IPA

(cans) ■■Hop Syndrome Lager (cans) ■■Spiral Jetty IPA ■■Brainless Belgian-Style Golden Ale (22 ounce)

Black Diamond Brewery Firestone Walker ■■Hoptah Session IPA Brewing ■■White Witch IPA ■■Peak XV Imperial Porter ■■Rampage Imperial IPA

Bohemian Brewery ■■Bohemian Kölsch ■■1842 Cherny Bock

Schwarzbier ■■Czech Pilsener Lager ■■Viennese Amber Lager ■■Dortmunder Export Lager ■■Dusseldorfer Altbier

■■Pivo Cans ■■Pale 31 ■■Union Jack IPA ■■DBA (Double Barrel Ale)

Full Sail Brewing ■■Full Sail IPA ■■Full Sail Pilsner ■■Session IPA ■■Session Premium Lager

Heineken USA/ Strongbow ■■Strongbow ■■Strongbow ■■Strongbow ■■Strongbow

Gold Apple Cider Honey Cider Red Berries Cider Ginger Cider

Hoppers Grill & Brewing ■■Helles Festbier ■■Summer Rye Lager ■■Drifter

Lagunitas

■■A Little Sumpin’ Sumpin’ ■■Lagunitas IPA ■■Seasonal 22-ounce Imperial

Pilsner ■■Seasonal 12-ounce Little Sumpin’ Extra

Leinenkugel Brewing Co.

Pelican Pub & Brewery

■■Kiwanda Cream Ale ■■MacPelican’s Ale ■■Imperial Pelican Ale ■■Flock Wave Pale Ale

Red Rock Brewing Co. ■■Red Rock’s Bamberg Rauch

Bier ■■Red Rock Amber Ale ■■Red Rock Session IPA ■■Red Rock Farmhouse Ale

Red Rock Brewing Co.-High Gravity ■■Elephino ■■Drioma Russian Imperial

Stout ■■Fröhlich Pilsner ■■Imperial Red Ale

Sockeye Grill & Brewery ■■High Lakes Session IPA ■■High Lakes Mango Session

IPA ■■Dagger Falls IPA ■■Sockeye Maibock

Squatters Craft Beers

■■Squatters American Wheat

Hefeweizen

■■Chasing Tail Golden Ale ■■Full Suspension Pale Ale ■■Hop Rising Double IPA ■■Off Duty IPA ■■Respect Your Mother Organic

Amber Ale

Wasatch Brewery

■■Black O’Lantern Pumpkin

Stout ■■Devastator Double Bock ■■Ghostrider White IPA

Roosters Brewing

St. Killian Importing

Rogue Ales

Uinta

Moab Brewery

Samuel Adams

Upslope Brewing Co.

New Belgium Brewing

Sapporo

■■Leinenkugel Seasonal

Harvest Patch Shandy ■■Leinenkugel Sunset Wheat ■■Leinenkugel Oktoberfest

Miller Coors

■■Blue Moon Belgian White ■■Blue Moon Harvest Pumpkin

Ale ■■Redd’s Wicked Apple Ale ■■Redd’s Wicked Mango Ale

■■Johnny’s American IPA ■■Moab Especial ■■Squeaky Bike Nut Brown Ale ■■Porcupine Pilsner

■■Fat Tire Amber Ale ■■Snapshot Wheat Beer ■■Rampant Imperial IPA ■■Long Table Farmhouse Ale

Ninkasi Brewing

■■Tricerahops Double IPA ■■Total Domination IPA ■■Vanilla Oatis Oatmeal Stout ■■Lux German-Style Helles

Lager

Park City Brewery ■■Hooker Blonde Ale ■■Last Pitch IPA ■■Breaking Trail Pale Ale ■■Boogie Water Brown Ale

Payette

■■Rodeo Rye Pale Ale ■■Bonanza Dry Hopped Golden

Ale ■■Payette Pale Ale ■■Outlaw IPA

■■Patio Pilsner ■■O-Town Nut Brown ■■Hellevation IPA ■■Iron Rooster Imperial Stout

■■American Amber Ale ■■7 Hop IPA ■■Hazlenut Brown Nectar ■■Rogue Nation Brutal IPA

■■Boston Lager ■■Octoberfest ■■Rebel IPA ■■Rebel Rider IPA

■■Sapporo ■■Sapporo ■■Sapporo ■■Sapporo

Light Reserve Silver Gold

Schöfferhofer

■■Grapefruit Hefeweizen

Shades of Pale Brewing

■■Seasonal Selections

Spoetzl Brewery ■■Shiner Bock ■■Shiner Ruby Redbird

Sierra Nevada

■■Sierra Nevada Pale Ale ■■Nooner ■■Oktoberfest ■■Torpedo

■■Crabbie’s Ginger Beer ■■Crabbies Cloudy Lemonade ■■Bitburger Premium Pils ■■Carlsberg Lager

■■Hop Nosh IPA ■■801 Pilsner ■■Contrail White ■■Detour Double IPA ■■Ready Set Gose

■■Craft Lager ■■India Pale Ale ■■Brown Ale ■■Pale Ale

Vermont Hard Cider ■■Woodchuck Granny Smith ■■Woodchuck Amber ■■Hornsby Crisp Hard Cider ■■Woodchuck Gumption

Vernal Brewing Co. ■■Little Hole Lager ■■She’s a Peach Wheat ■■Directional Porter ■■Pilgrimage Extra Pale Ale

Wasatch Brewery

■■Apricot Hefeweizen ■■Evolution Amber Ale ■■Snap Down Header Session

India Pale Lager ■■Pumpkin Ale ■■Jalapeño Creme

Wing Nutz

■■Over the Moon Belgian

White ■■WingMan Pale Ale ■■Jack Mormon Lager ■■White Knuckle Wheat

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801.364.4268 | 128 South Main St. | OPEN NOON TO 1AM DAILY

AUGUST 13, 2015 | 43

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THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E.

Spy Vs. Spy

CINEMA

The Man from U.N.C.L.E. carves out a unique space in a crowded espionage marketplace.

BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net @scottrenshaw

I

Henry Cavill and Armie Hammer in The Man From U.N.C.L.E. it, and U.N.C.L.E. offers up an extended, humorless bit near the conclusion during which Solo is chasing bad guys in an allterrain vehicle, Ilya is following in a motorcycle, and the editing renders the whole thing nearly interminable. It’s the kind of headache-inducing excuse for contemporary “action” that can make a movie feel like just the latest blur of bodies and vehicles in motion.

Perhaps it says something that even Ritchie realizes the aforementioned sequence doesn’t deserve to be the climax, even as it stops the movie dead in its tracks to resolve the fate of one of the key villains.

Indeed, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a spy movie in which the hero ultimately saves the day in quite the way that it happens here. And maybe that’s a decent result in another TV show adaptation, and another spy movie: that it leaves us with a grin, rather than the feeling that we’ve been here a hundred times before. CW

THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E.

BBB Henry Cavill Armie Hammer Alicia Vikander Rated PG-13

| CITY WEEKLY |

TRY THESE Casino Royale (2006) Daniel Craig Eva Green Rated PG-13

Sherlock Holmes (2009) Robert Downey Jr. Jude Law Rated PG-13

Man of Steel (2013) Henry Cavill Amy Adams Rated PG-13

AUGUST 13, 2015 | 45

Mission: Impossible (1996) Tom Cruise Jon Voight Rated PG-13

| MUSIC | CINEMA | DINING | A&E | NEWS |

mileage out of their “Solo calls Ilya ‘(Red) Peril’/Ilya calls Solo ‘Cowboy’ ” dynamic. Cavill bites down hard on an affectless American accent that he seems to have learned from TV anchormen; Hammer has about the same luck with his Boris Badenov-ian Russian. Yet they’re still both entertaining as Solo’s cat-burglar cool collides with Ilya’s barely bottled rage, and they metaphorically swing their junk at one another in the form of which country offers the superior espionage technology (and even who has the better fashion sense).

The real energy, though, comes from Ritchie’s willingness to get playful with the way he frames some of his scenes. He uses depth of field to place goofy moments in the background out of his characters’ line of sight, or split-screen to pick up the pace during a pair of set pieces. He drops out the sound when Ilya and Solo are bugging a conversation in a car between Gaby and her slightly sinister uncle (Sylvester Groth).

And in one of the most effective sequences, he places Solo in a truck—listening to Italian pop music and munching on a sandwich while Ilya tries to evade bad guys in a high-speed motorboat chase—to give Solo time to ponder whether he’s willing to risk himself to help his new partner.

There’s no weight to any of this stuff, but it has enough fizz that The Man From U.N.C.L.E. doesn’t feel derivative—at least until Ritchie tries to stage conventional action. His two Sherlock Holmes films were already evidence of how terrible he is at

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t’s understandable if your first reaction to a movie version of The Man From U.N.C.L.E. is, “Do we really need another movie version of an old TV show?” This is a reaction one should have on a regular basis, and it only means that you are an emotionally healthy adult. But there’s another, equally valid first reaction: “Do we really need another spy movie?”

It’s true, of course, that the same sentiment could apply to many genres and subgenres: comic-book movies, Nicholas Sparks adaptations, comic-book movies, childhood-toys-as-cinema, comic-book … you get the picture. But finding a distinctive tone can go a long way toward shaking that sense of overkill. With a James Bond movie still on the way this year, we’ve already had the broad comedy of Spy and the slick action of Mission: Impossible—Rogue Nation. What could Guy Ritchie (Sherlock Holmes) bring to The Man From U.N.C.L.E. that would make it seem anything but superfluous?

The answer, fortunately, is a frisky refusal to take anything all that seriously—most of the time, anyway. Ritchie also wisely opts to stick with the series’ Cold War-era setting, opening the story in 1963 as CIA agent Napoleon Solo (Henry Cavill) attempts to extract Gaby Teller (Alicia Vikander) from East Berlin, with KGB operative Ilya Kuryakin (Armie Hammer) in pursuit, trying to stop him. Gaby’s father (Christian Berkel) is a nuclear scientist who has disappeared, and she may be the key to finding him before neoNazis manage to obtain their own nuclear weapon. And when it becomes clear to both the United States and Soviet governments that this third-party threat is more of a threat to them than they are to each other, they team up the already antagonistic Solo and Ilya to recover the dangerous technology.

Thus commences plenty of bro-ish sparring between the two agents, and the two leads get at least a reasonable amount of

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THEATER DIRECTORY SALT LAKE CITY Brewvies Cinema Pub 677 S. 200 West 801-355-5500 Brewvies.com

PARK CITY Cinemark Holiday Village 1776 Park Ave. 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com

Broadway Centre Cinemas 111 E. 300 South 801-321-0310 SaltLakeFilmSociety.org

Redstone 8 Cinemas 6030 N. Market 435-575-0220 Redstone8Cinemas.com

Century 16 South Salt Lake 125 E. 3300 South 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com

DAVIS COUNTY AMC Loews Layton Hills 9 728 W. 1425 North, Layton 801-774-8222 AMCTheatres.com

Cinemark Sugar House 2227 S. Highland Drive 801-466-3699 Cinemark.com Water Gardens Cinema 6 1945 E. Murray-Holladay Road 801-273-0199 WaterGardensTheatres.com Megaplex 12 Gateway 165 S. Rio Grande St. 801-304-4636 MegaplexTheatres.com Redwood Drive-In 3688 S. Redwood Road 801-973-7088 Tower Theatre 836 E. 900 South 801-321-0310 SaltLakeFilmSociety.org WEST VALLEY 5 Star Cinemas 8325 W. 3500 South, Magna 801-250-5551 RedCarpetCinemas.com Carmike 12 1600 W. Fox Park Drive, West Jordan 801-562-5760 Carmike.com Cinemark 24 Jordan Landing 7301 S. Bangerter Highway 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com Cinemark Valley Fair Mall 3601 S. 2700 West, West Valley City 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com Showcase Cinemas 6 5400 S. Redwood Road, Taylorsville 801-957-9032 RedCarpetCinemas.com SOUTH VALLEY Century 16 Union Heights 7800 S. 1300 East, Sandy 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com Cinemark Draper 12129 S. State, Draper 801-619-6494 Cinemark.com Cinemark Sandy 9 9539 S. 700 East, Sandy 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com Megaplex Jordan Commons 9400 S. State, Sandy 801-304-INFO MegaplexTheatres.com Megaplex 20 at The District 11400 S. Bangerter Highway 801-304-INFO MegaplexTheatres.com

Cinemark Station Park 900 W. Clark Lane, Farmington 801-447-8561 Cinemark.com Cinemark Tinseltown USA 720 W. 1500 North, Layton 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com Gateway 8 206 S. 625 West, Bountiful 801-292-7979 RedCarpetCinemas.com Megaplex Legacy Crossing 1075 W. Legacy Crossing Blvd., Centerville 801-397-5100 MegaplexTheatres.com WEBER COUNTY Cinemark Tinseltown 14 3651 Wall Ave., Ogden 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com Megaplex 13 at The Junction 2351 Kiesel Ave., Ogden 801-304-INFO MegaplexTheatres.com UTAH COUNTY Carmike Wynnsong 4925 N. Edgewood Drive, Provo 801-764-0009 Carmike.com Cinemark American Fork 715 W. 180 North, American Fork 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com Cinemark Movies 8 2230 N. University Parkway, Orem 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com Cinemark Provo Town Center 1200 Town Center Blvd., Provo 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com Cinemark University Mall 1010 S. 800 East, Provo 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com Megaplex Thanksgiving Point 2935 N. Thanksgiving Way 801-304-INFO MegaplexTheatres.com Water Gardens Cinema 8 790 E. Expressway Ave. Spanish Fork 801-798-9777 WaterGardensTheatres.com Water Gardens Cinema 6 912 W. Garden Drive Pleasant Grove 801-785-3700 WaterGardensTheatres.com

CINEMA CLIPS

MOVIE TIMES AND LOCATIONS AT CITYWEEKLY.NET

NEW THIS WEEK Information is correct at press time. Film release schedules are subject to change.

COP CAR BBB.5 Oh, how I do have a soft spot for thrillers with the kind of ruthless, narrative efficiency on display in co-writer/director Jon Watts blast of genre intensity. A pair of 10-year-old would-be runaways in rural Colorado, Harrison (Hays Wellford) and Travis (James Freedson-Jackson), find a sheriff’s patrol car left unattended in a field and decide to take it for a joy ride—not realizing that the corrupt sheriff (Kevin Bacon) has some fairly incriminating evidence in that vehicle. The opening sequence with the kids sets a terrific thematic framework of youngsters playing with growing up fast, while Bacon turns in a solid performance as the cop trying frantically to cover his tracks. But the real star here is Watts’ terrific direction, which conveys crucial information with just a glance or the passage of time, and builds set pieces—including the usually inexcusable crutch of kids in peril—with an almost unbearable tension. If the story never quite pays off the promise of a dark cautionary fairy tale, it’s plenty satisfying at getting you to clutch every nearby armrest for 80 minutes. Opens Aug. 14 at Tower Theatre. (NR)—Scott Renshaw LISTEN TO ME MARLON BBB Marlon Brando died in 2004, but Stevan Riley has crafted a film out of the most comprehensive interview with the actor never before heard—because it’s an interview Brando conducted with himself.

Riley mines hundreds of hours of Brando’s private audio recordings that find him discussing both his private and his public lives, including his relationship with his alcoholic parents, his philosophy of acting (finding the truth that can make an audience member “stop that movement from the popcorn to the mouth”), his romances, and his feelings about specific performances. Aside from a wonderfully disorienting device that places the words in the mouth of a digitized recreation of Brando’s face, the visuals are often fairly on-the-nose representations of whatever Brando is talking about, occasionally interspersed with televised interviews. But while the apparent need for a cradle-to-grave overview finds Riley making sure to include material like the tragedies involving Brando’s children, the audio material is generally fascinating enough to hold interest. The title refers to some of the recordings that are a kind of self-hypnosis, yet they can exert the same hypnotic effect on someone watching the movie. Opens Aug. 14 at Broadway Centre Cinemas. (NR)—SR THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E. BBB See review p.45. Opens Aug. 14 at theaters valleywide. (PG-13) ONCE I WAS A BEEHIVE BBB.5 “Faith-based” cinema is such a disaster on such a regular basis that it’s almost startling when someone gets it right. Writer/director Maclain Nelson tells the story of Lane (Paris Warner), a 16-yearold girl still mourning the death of her father when her mother plans to re-marry—and a Mormon guy, of all things. And while they’re on their honeymoon, Lane reluctantly agrees to join her new step-cousin Phoebe (Mila Smith) on a week-long Young Women’s camping trip. Considering how many potential traps Nelson has to navigate, it’s genuinely impressive how few missteps he makes: guiding a charming cast of young actors to appealing performances; addressing grief with sensitivity but no mawkishness; delivering comic relief that rarely degenerates into head-smacking slapstick.

But mostly, he introduces his faith-based elements delicately, combining a good-natured skewering of certain Mormon cultural norms with a genuine respect for a girl still not sure if she’s ready to believe. While the pacing may get sluggish as the two-hour story slightly overstays its welcome, it’s hard not to smile at a movie that respects faith for its power to comfort, heal and unite. Opens Aug. 14 at theaters valleywide. (PG)—SR

POINT B BBB For locals, it might feel like an act of respectful obligation toward David Fetzer (for whom this was one of his last completed projects before he passed away in 2012) to watch this locally made sciencefiction tale—except that it also turns out to be pretty good. Director Conor Long and screenwriter David Gitlin craft the tale of physics grad students Mark (Fetzer) and Alan (Jared Shipley), whose experimental device for producing clean energy turns out to be a teleporter instead.

Gitlin toys with plenty of conventional elements—a romantic-comedy subplot, an evil corporate boss trying to obtain the device—while also trying to build the conflict between the two friends. Yet though the story occasionally pushes too hard into wackiness—most notably in Mark and Alan’s perpetually drugged-out collaborator, Jason (Josh McLerran)—it generally maintains a loose and frisky energy spiked with a surprising bounty of tart punch lines. As sad as it is to see Fetzer and know he’s gone, Point B offers a reminder of how much good work he left behind. Opens Aug. 14 at Tower Theatre. (NR)—SR STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON [not yet reviewed] Biopic following the rise and eventual split of hip-hop legends N.W.A. Opens Aug. 21 at theaters valleywide. (R) TEN THOUSAND SAINTS BB.5 Eleanor Henderson’s terrific novel gets a fitfully effective adaptation by Shari Springer-Berman and Robert Pulcini, observing the circa-1988 world of New York’s Alphabet City—including the Straight Edge punk scene—through the eyes of troubled teen Jude (Asa Butterfield); Johnny (Emile Hirsch), the brother of Jude’s recently-deceased best friend Teddy; and Eliza (Hailee Steinfeld), who got pregnant by Teddy on the night he died.

Springer Berman and Pulcini do an effective job of streamlining the novel’s sprawling narrative, and get a terrific performance from Ethan Hawke as Jude’s pot-dealer dad; Hawke’s clearly a genius when it comes to absentee, good-time father figures. But there’s a serious lack of energy in plenty of key areas—notably a crucial set piece involving the Tomkins Square Park riot—and a lackluster performance by Butterfield that focuses too much on Jude’s unrequited crush on Eliza while missing the fervor of his “conversion” to Straight Edge. Every time it feels like Ten Thousand Saints is going to find something profound about the many different ways we find family connection, it bumps up against workmanlike storytelling that loses an essential element of passion. Opens Aug. 14 at Broadway Centre Cinemas. (R)—SR

SPECIAL SCREENINGS BEING EVEL At Rose Wagner Center, Aug. 13, 7 p.m. (NR) GREMLINS At Tower Theatre, Aug. 14-15 @ 11 p.m. & Aug. 16 @ noon. (PG) GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY At Library Square, Aug. 14, dusk. (PG-13) THE HUNGER GAMES At Main Library, Aug. 16, 2 p.m. (PG-13) THE NEXT BIG THING At Utah Museum of Fine Arts, Aug. 19, 7 p.m. (NR) THE SEARCH FOR GENERAL TSO At Main Library, Aug. 18, 7 p.m. (NR) SUPERBAD At Brewvies, Aug. 17, 10 p.m. (R)

CURRENT RELEASES

FANTASTIC FOUR B.5 This latest origin story of the Marvel Comics team—a foursome (Miles Teller, Kate Mara, Michael B. Jordan and Jamie Bell) left with strange powers after an experiment gone awry—is a bad movie, but at least it’s instructive about the box into which such properties must fit. For a little while, it seems cowriter/director Josh Trank is on an original path focused on a generational conflict, but there’s never enough time permitted for the characters to breathe and interact. By the time they face the threat of Victor Von Doom (Toby Kebbell), the whole enterprise has been pulled up by the roots and thrown into the assembly line that produces Super-Hero Movie Where Earth Itself is Threatened. The patchwork result is almost painful to watch, even if everyone in Hollywood really should watch it as a cautionary tale. (PG-13)—SR

THE GIFT B Joel Edgerton’s feature writing/directing debut can’t decide if it wants to be serious drama or a salacious thriller, so it’s not enough of either, and each aspect seems to be laughing at the other.

Jason Bateman stars as Simon, recently relocated back to Los Angeles with his wife (Rebecca Hall), when he runs into Gordo (Edgerton), an old schoolmate Simon doesn’t seem to remember. But Gordo remembers him. The Gift touches on sensitive, tangled emotional matters—the lingering effects of bullying; how stress and grief can incapacitate us; questions of trust in intimate relationships—but fumbles all of them so badly that it contradicts itself constantly, as if it doesn’t really understand the pain it’s attempting to appropriate. It wants you to doubt who the villain is, but lacks the nerve to do anything meaningful with that gambit. (R)—MaryAnn Johanson

IRRATIONAL MAN B.5 Woody Allen continues recycling 40 years worth of thematic material about death, existential philosophy, morality and inappropriate relationships, and it has all grown quite exhausting.

Joaquin Phoenix plays Abe, a Kant-spewing philosophy professor who’s wallowing in near-suicidal despair; Emma Stone is Jill, the student who becomes infatuated with him. The plot kicks in when Abe wonders if murdering a corrupt judge is the kind of world-changing direct action he’s sought his whole life, but before that point—and after it, for that matter—we get the kind of expository nonsense that has crippled so many late-period Allen films, including double voice-over narration by Abe and Jill that further assumes the themes and plot points need additional repetition. But if you’ve seen Crimes and Misdemeanors or Match Point or Cassandra’s Dream, you’ve already gotten all the repetition you need. (R)—SR

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE— ROGUE NATION BBB.5 Like the James Bond films, entries in the Mission: Impossible series are really only as good as the sum of their set pieces—and they might actually have become more reliably thrilling. Director/ co-writer Christopher McQuarrie follows Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) and his team as they to take down a vast terrorist network, assisted by a deep-cover British agent (Rebecca Ferguson, kicking unholy ass). Beyond grim determination, Ethan Hunt still barely exists as a character after five movies—virtually all the personality is left to Simon Pegg—but it doesn’t matter much when the action beats are this strong. Between a fistfight on the lighting rigs of the Vienna Opera and a motorcycle chase through Casablanca—plus giving Ethan his strongest female counterpart yet—this installment does nothing to dim the hope that the franchise can keep rolling. Your move, 007. (PG-13)—SR

CINEMA

CLIPS

MOVIE TIMES AND LOCATIONS AT CITYWEEKLY.NET

RICKI AND THE FLASH BBB Execution in art is everything—which is why director Jonathan Demme and writer Diablo Cody can take a familiar concept and make it seem fresh and frisky. Ricki (Meryl Streep) left her husband and kids years earlier for a never-quite-was music career, but she’s pulled back to the family when her daughter, Julie (Mamie Gummer, Streep’s real-life daughter) is devastated by the end of her own marriage. The stunt casting doesn’t play a crucial role in what works here, though Streep and Gummer play lovely scenes together as the tension between Ricki and Julie thaws. Mostly, Ricki complicates a potentially predictable “prodigal family member” character in effective ways, even when the harsh words feel scripted. And it’s better yet when Demme uses performances by Ricki and her band to suggest the incremental steps Ricki takes towards a more balanced life. (PG-13)—SR

ALL THE NEWS THAT WON’T FIT IN PRINT

SHAUN THE SHEEP BBB.5 Aardman Animation’s Plasticine creations come alive again as Shaun leads his flock in an attempt to break the dull routine of their farm days, unfortunately resulting in their farmer/owner being lost in the Big City with amnesia. Not a single discernible word is spoken in the film, leading to a story that relies on the great visual gags of vintage silent comedy; aside from a subplot built around a viral photo, it could easily take place any time in the last century. Neither Shaun, his dog pal Bitzer nor any of the menagerie is as singular a character as Gromit, and the animalcontrol officer antagonist is a bit too rote. But most objections get washed in a way in a creation that’s a joyous mix of simple family-friendly narrative and inspired slapstick. (G)—SR VACATION BB.5 How do you respond to a comedy when incessant marketing keeps ruining the jokes? Ed Helms stars as all-grown-up Rusty Griswold, taking his own family on a cross-country trip to Walley World, just like his dad did 30 years earlier. Vacation follows the lead of so many 21st-century raunch-comedies, trying to balance the gross-outs with the idea that it’s really all about people and their emotions and whatnot. But it’s at its best when the jokes are simply surreal, or making the most of comic performances

by Christina Applegate and Chris Hemsworth. Still, it’s hard not to wonder how much funnier it might have seemed if we hadn’t already seen all the wildest high concepts. The filmmakers fumble many opportunities, but mostly collide with a marketing department whose job isn’t to trust that this Vacation will stand on its own. (PG-13)—SR

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THE STANFORD PRISON EXPERIMENT BBB A laser focus on the infamous 1971 incident—where Dr. Philip Zimbardo (Billy Crudup) recruited students to serve as guards and inmates in a simulated prison—keeps this dark drama intriguing even through obvious nudges at 21st-century events.

Director Kyle Patrick Alvarez doesn’t waste time establishing who these 18 young men were before being randomly assigned one of the two roles, a savvy choice given the experiment’s premise that behavior had little to do with background. And it’s harrowing watching how quickly the participants become emotionally invested either in asserting control (Michael Angarano as alpha guard) or resisting that control (Ezra Miller as the most volatile prisoner). There’s some unfortunate pointless business involving Zimbardo’s colleague/girlfriend (Olivia Thirlby),

and Alvarez isn’t subtle about the Abu Ghraib allegory. Yet it certainly captures how power corrupts—and not just those wielding the power. (R)—SR

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TRUE

BY B I L L F RO S T @bill_frost

Summer Rewind 24 shows you should (re)sample on-demand before fall.

Another Period (Comedy Central) After a meh first episode, Natasha Leggero and Riki Lindhome’s Downton Abbey/ Kardashians parody became bolder and funnier (and dirtier) every week. It’s Wet Hot 1902 Summer.

Halt and Catch Fire (AMC)

Just ended and most likely canceled, ’80s tech drama Halt and Catch Fire really did catch fire in Season 2 by focusing on its women (Kerry Bishé and Mackenzie Davis, killing it). Maybe just skip the first season.

UnReal (Lifetime)

And another female-led powerhouse: UnReal’s behind-the-sordid-scenes drama about a Bachelor-esque “reality” show was brutal, discomfiting and, for all we know, completely accurate. Shiri Appleby and Constance Zimmer FTW.

Wayward Pines (Fox) It was obvious that M. Night Shyamalan’s

Wayward Pines meant “limited series” business when it killed off two big-name cast members (no spoilers!) early on. A taut, weird sci-fi conspiracy yarn.

TV

Mr. Robot (USA)

Rami Malek’s mumbling, monologuing hoodie-rat hacker isn’t a logical TV hero—which makes Mr. Robot’s Fight Club-meets-The Matrix-meets-Dilbert existence encouraging (especially on a network like USA).

Another binge-watch candidate.

Humans (AMC) The biggest surprise from this British import

about synthetic “humans” living/serving amongst us? Joe (Tom Goodman-Hill) waited four whole episodes before bedding his nanny-bot (Gemma Chan). Humans was creepy, but with a heart—rare combo.

Extant (CBS)

Halle Berry’s alien-takeover thriller is still insane—but at least it’s evolved into decent sci-fi, and new Season 2 co-star Jeffrey Dean Morgan handily replaced what’s-his-name. Bonus: David Morrissey acting even harder than he did on The Walking Dead!

The Spoils Before Dying (IFC) Eric

Jonrosh’s (Will Ferrell) lost crime-noir masterpiece somehow made jazz tolerable.

That’s an accomplishment.

Rectify (Sundance)

So rich, so moving, so … slow. Ray McKinnon’s Southern-gothic character study isn’t for everyone, but the performances (not limited to main stars Aden Young and Abigail Spencer) are undeniable.

The Strain (FX)

Your Enthusiasm: The Next Generation.

Guillermo del Toro and Chuck Hogan’s vampire-invasion thriller kicked into high gear in Season 2, thanks partially to letting Kevin Durand’s badass Fet inject some comic relief into the occasionally too-damnedserious affair. Pretty vamps are so over.

Dark Matter (Syfy) The setup of really, really, really ridiculously

Sex&Drugs&Rock&Roll (FX) Denis Leary’s comic love letter

Maron (IFC) No hype, just Marc Maron being Maron in Curb

good-looking amnesiac fugitives in space didn’t seem sustainable, but Dark Matter rolled out the back-stories (and asskicking action) more intelligently than expected.

Killjoys (Syfy) Ditto on the looks and action here, though

Killjoys was a bit more complex (read: confusing) and even more low-budget than Dark Matter (which seems impossible). Still, Hannah John-Kamen is the sci-fi heroine to top this summer.

True Detective (HBO) Quit your whining and just watch all eight episodes in a row.

The Brink (HBO) It was sold as a Jack Black comedy, but The

Brink (a modern-day Dr. Strangelove via Homeland) belongs to Tim Robbins as the tenacious secretary of state, and Maribeth Monroe as his impossibly loyal assistant.

to rock wasn’t groundbreaking by any stretch, but it was loud and fun. That’s rock & roll, right?

BoJack Horseman (Netflix) You will feel all the feels of a cartoon horse (Will Arnett).

Ray Donovan (Showtime) As

Another Period (Comedy Central)

store stand-up show; comedians, actors and sometimes even porn stars drop in randomly, adding to the anarchic atmosphere of The Meltdown. So all stand-up shows aren’t like this?

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (Adult Swim) Season 2 of Hell as a workplace comedy … not a workplace reality show.

Married (FX)

The second season of Nat Faxon and Judy Greer’s domestic comedy may have found a groove, if not viewers. Married is pretty much canceled; proceed at your leisure.

Rick & Morty (Adult Swim) It’s probably best that Community

if Jon Voight weren’t enough, now Liev Schreiber’s titular thug-to-the-stars Ray had to fight for screen-chewing time with new Season 3 guest Ian McShane—and he held his own.

is now dead as a TV show, because Rick & Morty is a far better use of Dan Harmon’s time. There’s not a more off-thecharts science-geeky show out there—sorry, Cosmos—and the funny is relentless.

Stitchers (ABC Family)

Wet Hot American Summer (Netflix) First Day of Camp bested

The Meltdown With Jonah & Kumail (Comedy Central) Backstage

Listen to Bill on Mondays at 8 a.m. on X96 Radio From Hell; weekly on the TV Tan podcast via iTunes and Stitcher.

Impossibly pretty 20-something scientists “stitch” into the memories of the recently deceased in CSI: Dead Brains. Sure, it sounds similar to iZombie, but Stitchers was even stoopider—and yet oddly entertaining.

is sometimes funnier than what’s onstage at the comic-book-

the 2001 movie by streamlining the gags and going for ridiculous broke. So how do I get a gig at Rock & Roll World Magazine? CW

RUSS SCHMIT

Positive Force

MUSIC

After 25 years managing downtown rehearsal space Positively 4th Street, Russ Schmit punches out.

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AUGUST 13, 2015 | 49

of their instruments Positively 4th Street’s Russ Schmit and tried to sell them back to the band. Schmit once observed an instrument theft on security camera and pursued the criminal in his own car; that’s how conscientious he is.

Guitarist Al “Aldine” Grossi, local music legend, has been the longest-running tenant in the practice facility. “I have had a space there since 1984, all except about five years,” he explains. “There used to be a sheet-metal works in the building, and my friends started banging on sheet metal. It was the birth of industrial music here, and how [my band] Gnawing Suspicion got started. We also had a skateboard ramp in our studio, and used the hallway to roll up to it.”

He recalls that David LaFlamme, from the ’60s psych-folk group It’s a Beautiful Day, had a practice space during one of the band’s later incarnations. “You’d hear punk rock in the halls, then this hippie band playing, then jazz band Spaces; it was a really eclectic mix.

A lot of music was recorded there too.”

Local musician Mike Kirkland, owner of indie recording label Soundco Records, has been named to step in and fill Schmit’s shoes. In the meantime, building owner Eugene Wagner has died and his wife now owns the building. “I’m honored that Marinette Wagner is allowing me to look after her iconic music building. Positively Fourth Street has played a critical role in Salt Lake’s music scene for as long as I can remember.” Schmit is leaving to focus on his nonprofit Independent Bar Association, but he notes of Positively Fourth Street, “It’s the most enjoyable social experiment I’ve been engaged in.”

In addition to the music studios, coffee shop/performance venue The Painted Word was housed in the building, and Raunch Records’ first location was upstairs. The constant flux of musicians on the block fed into nearby Speedway Cafe, which hosted some of the most legendary punk rock shows of the 80s and early 90s.

“There was a lot of history here,” says Grossi. “I call it Ground Zero for the local punk scene.” CW

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

n institution in the local music scene is leaving—someone without whom the music community in Salt Lake City for the past, oh, 2 1/2 decades, wouldn’t have been the same. Yet this person never played a note of music.

Russ Schmit, manager of Positively Fourth Street practice space (PracticeSpaceSLC.com), is retiring after 25 years. It might seem like a job almost anybody with a little managerial sense and some rudimentary locksmith ability could perform. But Schmit’s tireless patience and willingness to persevere in the face of difficult situations, as well as his positive impact on the place, made the venerable old Pioneer Park-area facility a better environment for musicians to hone their art in a space conducive to their craft.

The improvements Schmit helped make have arguably kept the business afloat when it was struggling with problems unique to its downtown west-side environs. Moreover, his diligence over the years helped preserve the location as a fountain of creativity, a geyser from which an explosion of crucial local music has flowed.

The imposing red brick structure on the southeast corner of 400 West and 400 South was originally built in 1904, by the Armour & Co. meat-packing firm. By 1952, the building was purchased by Swiss immigrant Eugene Wagner, who found success with a business manufacturing prosthetic limbs.

Sometime in the 1980s, a college professor bought the building from Wagner, subdividing the warehouse-size edifice into smaller units and renting the spaces to artists after the success of the newly opened Artspace City Center several blocks away, slapping the moniker Positively Fourth Street on its north-facing side. That venture didn’t quite take, and Wagner bought the building back.

With their din, musicians eventually pushed the other artists out, and Wagner tried several managers before asking Schmit—who had operated a cabinet shop in the building, and helped with building maintenance—to take the position in 1990. The first challenge was to upgrade security. He installed a combination lock on the front door, then security cameras. Controlling access curtailed the drugs and alcohol pouring in and out of the building. “We had a real problem with druggies flushing their needles down the toilets,” he recalls. In the mid-’90s, he continued to subdivide the building, and upgraded the wiring.

These improvements helped make the building more hospitable to working musicians during a time when, across the street, Pioneer Park’s problems with drugs, alcohol and crime were at their worst.

Although there was one death due to drug overdose, break-ins and burglaries at the building were nonexistent, except among band members who had access. He recalls, “the band Jesus Rides a Riksha were interviewed in SLUG magazine, announcing a keg party there, and were immediately evicted.” Later, he says, someone stole some

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THURSDAY 8.13

Tinariwen

The “desert blues” group Tinariwen, from Mali, straddling Saharan and Sub-Saharan Africa, have been recording since the early 1980s, but they rose to international prominence in the mid-2000s with Amassakoul and Aman Iman (World Village, 2004 and 2007). Since then, the band has been picked up by the Antilabel and released three more albums—each expanding the band’s profile more than the last.

The current album, Emmar, is the first to be recorded somewhere other than the Saharan Desert—but still in the desert, since Tinariwen lay down tracks for Emmar in Joshua Tree, Calif. The sound, as on Tinariwen’s previous recordings, is a dry, dusty, cinematic blues—not unlike the sound of their labelmates, Calexico.

In fact, one might call Tinariwen the Calexico of the Sahara. The Urban Lounge, 241 S. 500 East, 8 p.m., $27 in advance, $30 day of show, TheUrbanLoungeSLC.com

The Word, Lee Fields & The Expressions

The Word took 14 years to follow up their eponymous debut for Ropeadope Records.

That’s because the supergroup consists of steel-guitar hero Robert Randolph, organist John Medeski (taking a break from his band with Martin and Wood) and all three members of North Mississippi Allstars. So you can see why it might take a while to get back around to The Word, which plays an all-instrumental blend of sacred steel music (essentially, gospel with pedal and lap steel-guitar as the featured instrument), blues and jam rock. It’s great for us that they did, though, as the new album, Soul Food (Vanguard), is crammed with some serious jams. Soul singer Lee Fields is also on the bill and, once you hear his James Brown-meetsOtis Redding vox, you’ll need a copy of Emma Jean (Truth and Soul). Pioneer Park, 350 S. 300 West, 7 p.m., $5 in advance, $10 day of show, TwilightConcerts.com

Tinariwen

Michael McDonald

FRIDAY 8.14 7 Seconds

O.G. hardcore punks 7 Seconds returned in 2014 with their first album in nine years. Not that they’ve been that far gone; frontman Kevin Seconds has been plugging away as a singer-songwriter, releasing four albums in the band’s absence. Leave a Light On (Rise) stuck to the band’s fast-paced (most of the songs clock in at around two minutes), political hardcore sound. “[The new record is] all about the energy and drive we still very much possess as a hardcore band,” Seconds said in the original press release. “It’s been nine long years since we’ve recorded a new album, so there’s a great deal of urgency in them, with just the right mixture of both fast- and mid-tempo tunes for people to sink their teeth into.” Hop on YouTube and stream the album while the presidential candidates quack away on CNN in the background, and you’ll see what he means.

Success and Bishops Green open. Area 51, 451 S. 400 West, 7 p.m., $15 in advance, » $18 day of show, Area51SLC.com

The Word

PHOTO COURTESY JAY ADKINS

7176 South 900 East Scofys.com

If there’s a poster boy for blue-eyed soul, it’s Michael McDonald. The ultra-smooth crooner whose unique, recognizable voice you know from dozens of feel-good hits from his solo career and with the Doobie Brothers (and, if you’re savvy, Steely Dan), is The Man. His pipes, still golden after 45 years, have earned him the respect of critics and fans alike. He’s even making new friends via the indie rock world, having contributed alternate lead vocals to Grizzly Bear’s 2009 track, “While You Wait for the Others.” But the true test of McDonald’s significance is that his catalog holds up without anyone invoking “old-school” as a pejorative instead of a credential. With “What A Fool Believes,” “I Keep Forgettin’,” and “Takin’ It to the Streets,” McDonald promises a hit-packed set. The Depot, 400 W. South Temple, 8 p.m., $41 in advance, $45 day of show; limited tickets available from CWStore.

CityWeekly.net, DepotSLC.com

PHOTO COURTESY DANNY CLINCH

Michael McDonald

PHOTO COURTESY MARIE PLANIELLE

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This band is catnip for metal dorks. First, they’re fronted by two smokin’ hot chicks in tight, and sometimes sheer, clothing—and, in videos, they’re decked out in awesomely gory F/X makeup. They prowl the stage, pulling off pig squeals and gutturals like champs while occasionally pulling a Wendy O. Williams and wearing only electrical tape on their chests. One of the frontwomen, Carla Harvey, is also a comic-book author (the blaxploitation vampire series Soul Sucka and a band-themed series). It could all be gimmicky crap, but the band’s new album Take It Like a Man (Century Media) is chockfulla skullcrushing riffs and rhythms, and the occasional fist-pumping chorus—you can’t help but fall in love. Surely, tonight, somewhere in the pit, there will be lovelorn metalheads in the audience composing proposals. The Complex, 536 W. 100 South, 6 p.m., $15, TheComplexSLC.com

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Oh, another soul revival band—how special, right? Someone heard Sharon Jones & the Dap-Kings, and decided to start their own version. Ouch. Insincere snark hurts to write.

But when you have a veritable glut of such bands popping up, one of them has to be lame. Right? It happens with every other genre—a hot sound emerges, and so many bandwagoneers grind it into irrelevance.

(See: All those indie-folk-Decemberists wannabes, for instance.) But just when you think, maybe, you’ve found a stinker, you discover Sister Sparrow & the Dirty Birds. A seven-piece group from New York City led

by Arleigh Kincheloe, a redheaded spitfire of a vocalist, the band plays “hard soul”—their euphemism for soul rock, a grittier version of the new soul sound. The Weather Below (Party Fowl/Thirty Tigers) is the band’s third album, and it’s absolutely sublime, a feast of raspy vocals, feel-good brass and meaty— but lean—guitar work. Blues, Brews & BBQs Festival, Snowbasin Resort, 3925 Snowbasin Road., Huntsville, 12:30 p.m., free, Snowbasin.com

Sister Sparrow & The Dirty Birds

NEXT WEEK

SHOTS IN THE DARK

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TUESDAY 8.18

CONCERTS & CLUBS COURTESY PHOTO

Dawes Musicians possess a unique power when they can sell out shows without radio play. Los Angeles-based Americana/folk band Dawes’ upcoming tour stop in Salt Lake City has yet to sell out, but their gig next month in London sold out weeks ago. Beyond that, they’ve accrued industry respect, collaborating with artists like The Killers, and Mumford and Sons—all without a radio hit. Dawes’ latest LP, All Your Favorite Bands (Hub Records), took a less-structured turn, relying more on live tracking and improvisation to capture the sound of their live performances. At their set, enjoy 10-minute jam sessions and listen for a cover of Billy Joel’s “Big Shot.” James Vincent McMorrow opens. (Robby Poffenberger) The Depot, 400 W. South Temple, 8 p.m., $26, DepotSLC.com

The

Join us at Rye Diner and Drinks for dinner and craft cocktails before, during and after the show. Late night bites 6pm-midnight Monday through Saturday and brunch everyday of the week. Rye is for early birds and late owls and caters to all ages www.ryeslc.com

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Sept 22: Ken MOde Sept 23: Uncle Acid & The Deadbeats Sept 24: A Place To Bury Strangers Sept 28: The Fratellis Sept 29: Cannibal Ox Oct 1: Young Blood Brass Band Oct 2: RED FANG & CASPIAN Oct 7: Gardens & Villa Oct 8: Wartime Blues Oct 12: Frank Turner Oct 13: Angel Olson Oct 14: Destroyer Oct 15: Youth Lagoon Oct 16: IAMX Oct 19: Murs

Oct 20: AlunaGeorge Oct 23: Deafheaven Oct 28: King Dude Oct 29: Albert Hammond Jr Oct 30: Small Black Nov 2: Heartless Bastards Nov 4: Here We Go Magic Nov 8: Phutureprimitive Nov 9: The Good LIfe Nov 10: Peaches Nov 14: The National Parks Nov 20: Mother Falcon, Ben Solee Nov 21: Fictionist Nov 22: Darwin Deez Nov 23: FUZZ

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CONCERTS & CLUBS THURSDAY 8.13

(Pioneer Park, see p. 52)

LIVE MUSIC

Jazz Jam Session (Sugarhouse Coffee) Open Mic Night, Hosted by Once the Lion (Legends Billiards Club)

Berner, Demrick, J_Hornay, Anonymous That Dude (The Complex) Black Sheep (Downstairs Park City) Chubby Checker & The Wildcats (Egyptian Theatre, see p. 60) Dylan Roe (Hog Wallow Pub) Jaden Carlson Band (Newpark Town Center) Jon Wayne and The Pain (O.P. Rockwell) Michael McDonald (The Depot, see p. 52) Mike Rogers (Spur Bar and Grill) Richard Thompson (The State Room) Smiling Souls, Hemptations, Sayloo (Liquid Joes) Tinariwen, Jjuujjuu (The Urban Lounge, see p. 52) The Word, Lee Field & The Expression

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Chubby Checker & The Wildcats

An Eclectic mix of olde world charm and frontier saloon

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A No. 1 song is any musician’s dream. But imagine having the No. 1 song of all time and have it stand for 57 years? Billboard bestowed that honor upon Chubby Checker’s version of Hank Ballard’s “The Twist” in 2008, and again in 2013. And, when Checker performed the tune with Foghat in Nashville last September, he said the next time Billboard will tabulate its “Hot 100” list is in 2063, meaning the accolade will stand for 105 years. Hear that, songwriters? You all might as well quit now—or take Chubby by his little hand … and go like this. Yeah, baby, twist! (Randy Harward) The Egyptian Theatre, 328 Main, Park City, Aug. 13-16, 8 p.m.; Sunday 6 p.m., $43$80, EgyptianTheatreCompany.org

CONCERTS & CLUBS FRIDAY 8.14

DJ Night (Outlaw Saloon) DJ Rude Boy (Johnny on Second)

LIVE MUSIC

KARAOKE

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DJ Jarvilicious (Sandy Station)

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SATURDAY 8.15 LIVE MUSIC

Akwid, Lil Moco (The Complex) Bonaza Town (Spur Bar and Grill) Chubby Checker & The Wildcats (Egyptian Theatre, see p. 60) Erasole James, Dine Krew, Stretch, Dusk, Jef Doogie, Skellum (The Urban Lounge) Head Portals, Blue Jay Boogie (Kilby Court) Joy Williams (The State Room) Kaskade, Morgan Page, Andy C, Flux Pavilion, Seven Lions, Illenium, Slander (The Great Saltair) LA Story, My Private Island (The Royal) Margie Chadburn Music (Davis County Fair) Whiskey Fish (Funk ‘n Dive Bar) Puddle Mountain Ramblers (Gallivan Center) The Red Bennies (Johnny’s on Second) Sam Bush (The Canyons) Shania Twain (Energy Solutions Arena) The Spazmatics (Liquid Joes) Stacey Board (Snowbird Ski Resort) The Steel Belts (Hog Wallow Pub) Stonefed (Fats Grill) Shaun Canon (Club at 50 West) Ugly Valley Boys (Garage on Beck)

“Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough” ~Mark Twain 19 East 200 South | bourbonhouseslc.com

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7 Seconds, Bishops Green (Area 51, see p. 52) Allred, Timmy the Teeth, Jessica Frech (The Stereo Room) Chubby Checker & The Wildcats (Egyptian Theatre, see p. 60) Clint Lewis (Snowbird Ski Resort) Donner Pass (Spur Bar and Grill) Dylan66 (Cisero’s) Flaw, Par for the Curse, Iridia, Moose Knuckle (Liquid Joes) Hold for GeorgeLife (The Woodshed) James Allen Spirit, Turbo Fruits, Your Meteor (Kilby Court) Jason Isbell, Damien Jurado (The Depot) Luckyiam of Living Legends (The Metro Bar) Mimicking Birds, Book on Tape Worm, Haarlem (Velour) Monkey Shine (Brewskis) Moonshine Bandits, Jelly Roll (Westerner Club) Rod Fritz, JT Draper (Fats Grill) Royal Bliss, Tony Holiday, Candy’s River House (The Royal) Stonefed (Hog Wallow Pub) Warrior King, Natural Roots, Tribe of I (The Complex)

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DJ E-Flexx (Sandy Station) DJ Night (Outlaw Saloon)

KARAOKE

8 .7 & 8 .8 C RA FT LAKE CIT Y

Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge)

SUNDAY 8.16 LIVE MUSIC

Brandi Carlisle, Anderson East (Red Butte Garden) Chubby Checker & The Wildcats (Egyptian Theatre, see p. 60) Funerary, Ooze, INVDRS, Sunchaser (Kilby Court) Shane Koyczan, The Short Story Long (The State Room)

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KARAOKE

Karaoke Bingo (The Tavernacle) Karaoke That Doesn’t Suck (The Woodshed)

MONDAY 8.17 LIVE MUSIC

Arrows in Her (The Loading Dock) Creepoid, GLOE, No Sun, Red Telephone (Kilby Court) Rodrigo y Gabriela, Heather Maloney (Red Butte Garden, see p.XX) Sloths, Die Off, Handicapitalist (Diabolical Records)

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Karaoke (Piper Down)

TUESDAY 8.18 LIVE MUSIC

UPCOMING EVENTS:

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Karaoke (Johnny’s on Second) Karaoke (Liquid Joes)

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VENUE DIRECTORY

LIVE MUSIC & KARAOKE

5 MONKEYS 7 E. 4800 South, Murray, 801266-1885, Karaoke, Free pool, Live music A BAR NAMED SUE 3928 S. Highland Drive, SLC, 801-274-5578, Trivia Tues., DJ Wed., Karaoke Thurs.

A BAR NAMED SUE ON STATE 8136 S. State, SLC, 801-566-3222, Karaoke Tues.

ABG’S LIBATION EMPORIUM 190 W. Center St., Provo, 801-373-1200, Live music ALLEGED 205 25th St., Ogden, 801-9900692 AREA 51 451 S. 400 West, SLC, 801-5340819, Karaoke Wed., ‘80s Thurs., DJs Fri. & Sat. THE BAR IN SUGARHOUSE 2168 S. Highland Drive, SLC, 801-485-1232 BAR-X 155 E. 200 South, SLC, 801-355-2287 BARBARY COAST 4242 S. State, Murray, 801-265-9889 BATTERS UP 1717 S. Main, SLC, 801-4634996, Karaoke Tues., Live music Sat. THE BAYOU 645 S. State, SLC, 801-9618400, Live music Fri. & Sat. BOURBON HOUSE 19 E. 200 South, SLC, 801-746-1005, Local jazz jam Tues., Karaoke Thurs., Live music Sat., Funk & soul night Sun. BREWSKIS 244 25th St., Ogden, 801-3941713, Live music CANYON INN 3700 E. Fort Union, SLC, 801943-6969, DJs CAROL’S COVE II 3424 S. State, SLC, 801-466-2683, Karaoke Thurs., DJs & Live music Fri. & Sat. THE CENTURY CLUB 315 24th St., Ogden, 801-781-5005, DJs, Live music CHEERS TO YOU 315 S. Main, SLC, 801575-6400 CHEERS TO YOU MIDVALE 7642 S. State, 801-566-0871 CHUCKLE’S LOUNGE 221 W. 900 South, SLC, 801-532-1721 CIRCLE LOUNGE 328 S. State, SLC, 801-5315400, DJs CISERO’S 306 Main, Park City, 435-6495044, Karaoke Thurs., Live music & DJs CLUB 48 16 E. 4800 South, Murray, 801262-7555 CLUB 90 9065 S. 150 West, Sandy, 801-5663254, Trivia Mon., Poker Thurs., Live music Fri. & Sat., Live bluegrass Sun. CLUB TRY-ANGLES 251 W. 900 South, SLC, 801-364-3203, Karaoke Thurs., DJs Fri. & Sat. CLUB X 445 S. 400 West, SLC, 801-9354267, DJs, Live music THE COMPLEX 536 W. 100 South, SLC, 801-528-9197, Live music CRUZRS SALOON 3943 S. Highland Drive, SLC, 801-272-1903, Free pool Wed. & Thurs., Karaoke Fri. & Sat. DAWG POUND 3350 S. State, SLC, 801-2612337, Live music THE DEERHUNTER PUB 2000 N. 300 West, Spanish Fork, 801-798-8582, Live music Fri. & Sat. THE DEPOT 400 W. South Temple, SLC, 801-355-5522, Live music

DEVIL’S DAUGHTER 533 S. 500 West, SLC, 801-532-1610, Karaoke Wed., Live music Fri. & Sat. DO DROP INN 2971 N. Hill Field Road (400 West), Layton, 801-776-9697. Karaoke Fri. & Sat. DONKEY TAILS CANTINA 136 E. 12300 South, Draper, 801-571-8134. Karaoke Wed.; Live music Tues., Thurs. & Fri; Live DJ Sat. DOWNSTAIRS 625 Main, Park City, 435226-5340, Live music, DJs ELIXIR LOUNGE 6405 S. 3000 East, Holladay, 801-943-1696 THE FALLOUT 625 S. 600 West, SLC, 801953-6374, Live music FAT’S GRILL 2182 S. Highland Drive, SLC, 801-484-9467, Live music THE FILLING STATION 8987 W. 2700 South, Magna, 801-250-1970, Karaoke Thurs.

FLANAGAN’S ON MAIN 438 Main, Park City, 435-649-8600, Trivia Tues., Live music Fri. & Sat. FOX HOLE PUB & GRILL 7078 S. Redwood Road, West Jordan, 801-566-4653, Karaoke, Live music FUNK ’N DIVE BAR 2550 Washington Blvd., Ogden, 801-621-3483, Live music, Karaoke THE GARAGE 1199 Beck St., SLC, 801-5213904, Live music GRACIE’S 326 S. West Temple, SLC, 801819-7565, Live music, DJs THE GREAT SALTAIR 12408 W. Saltair Drive, Magna, 801-250-6205, Live music THE GREEN PIG PUB 31 E. 400 South, SLC, 801-532-7441, Live music Thurs.-Sat. HABITS 832 E. 3900 South, SLC, 801-2682228, Poker Mon., Ladies night Tues., ’80s night Wed., Karaoke Thurs., DJs Fri. & Sat. HIGHLANDER 6194 S. Highland Drive, SLC, 801-277-8251, Karaoke THE HOG WALLOW PUB 3200 E. Big Cottonwood Canyon Road, SLC, 801-733-5567, Live music THE HOTEL/CLUB ELEVATE 155 W. 200 South, SLC, 801-478-4310, DJs HUKA BAR & GRILL 151 E. 6100 South, Murray, 801-281-9665, Reggae Tues., DJs Fri. & Sat. IN THE VENUE/CLUB SOUND 219 S. 600 West, SLC, 801-359-3219, Live music & DJs JACKALOPE LOUNGE 372 S. State, SLC, 801-359-8054, DJs JAM 751 N. 300 West, SLC, 801-891-1162, Karaoke Tues., Wed. & Sun.; DJs Thurs.-Sat. JOHNNY’S ON SECOND 165 E. 200 South, SLC, 801-746-3334, DJs Tues. & Fri., Karaoke Wed., Live music Sat. KARAMBA 1051 E. 2100 South, SLC, 801696-0639, DJs KEYS ON MAIN 242 S. Main, SLC, 801-3633638, Karaoke Tues. & Wed., Dueling pianos Thurs.-Sat. KILBY COURT 741 S. Kilby Court (330 West), SLC, 801-364-3538, Live music, all ages KRISTAUF’S 16 W. Market St., SLC, 801943-1696, DJ Fri. & Sat. THE LEPRECHAUN INN 4700 S. 900 East, Murray, 801-268-3294 LIQUID JOE’S 1249 E. 3300 South, SLC, 801-467-5637, Live music Tues.-Sat. THE LOADING DOCK 445 S. 400 West, SLC, 385-229-4493, Live music, all ages LUCKY 13 135 W. 1300 South, SLC, 801487-4418, Trivia Wed. LUMPY’S DOWNTOWN 145 Pierpont Ave., SLC, 801-938-3070

LUMPY’S HIGHLAND 3000 S. Highland Drive, SLC, 801-484-5597 THE MADISON/THE COWBOY 295 W. Center St., Provo, 801-375-9000, Live music, DJs MAXWELL’S EAST COAST EATERY 9 Exchange Place, SLC, 801-328-0304, Poker Tues., DJs Fri. & Sat. METRO BAR 615 W. 100 South, SLC, 801652-6543, DJs THE MOOSE LOUNGE 180 W. 400 South, SLC, 801-900-7499, DJs NO NAME SALOON 447 Main, Park City, 435-649-6667 THE OFFICE 122 W. Pierpont Ave., SLC, 801-883-8838 O.P. ROCKWELL 268 Main, Park City, 435615-7000, Live music PARK CITY LIVE 427 Main, Park City, 435649-9123, Live music PAT’S BBQ 155 W. Commonwealth Ave., SLC, 801-484-5963, Live music Thurs.-Sat., All ages THE PENALTY BOX 3 W. 4800 South, Murray, 801-590-9316, Karaoke Tues., Live Music, DJs PIPER DOWN 1492 S. State, SLC, 801-4681492, Poker Mon., Acoustic Tues., Trivia Wed., Bingo Thurs.

POPLAR STREET PUB 242 S. 200 West, SLC, 801-532-2715, Live music Thurs.-Sat. THE RED DOOR 57 W. 200 South, SLC, 801-363-6030, DJs Fri., Live jazz Sat. THE ROYAL 4760 S. 900 East, SLC, 801590-9940, Live music SANDY STATION 8925 Harrison St., Sandy, 801-255-2078, DJs SCALLYWAGS 3040 S. State, SLC, 801604-0869 SKY 149 W. Pierpont Ave., SLC, 801-8838714, Live music THE SPUR BAR & GRILL 352 Main, Park City, 435-615-1618, Live music THE STATE ROOM 638 S. State, SLC, 800501-2885, Live music THE STEREO ROOM 521 N. 1200 West, Orem, 714-345-8163, Live music, All ages SUGARHOUSE PUB 1992 S. 1100 East, SLC, 801-413-2857 THE SUN TRAPP 102 S. 600 West, SLC, 385-235-6786 THE TAVERNACLE 201 E. 300 South, SLC, 801-519-8900, Dueling pianos Wed.-Sat., Karaoke Sun.-Tues.

TIN ANGEL CAFE 365 W. 400 South, SLC, 801-328-4155, Live music THE URBAN LOUNGE 241 S. 500 East, SLC, 801-746-0557, Live music VELOUR 135 N. University Ave., Provo, 801818-2263, Live music, All ages WASTED SPACE 342 S. State, SLC, 801531-2107, DJs Thurs.-Sat. THE WESTERNER 3360 S. Redwood Road, West Valley City, 801-972-5447, Live music WILLIE’S LOUNGE 1716 S. Main, SLC, 760828-7351, Trivia Wed., Karaoke Fri.-Sun., Live music THE WOODSHED 60 E. 800 South, SLC, 801-364-0805, Karaoke Sun. & Tues., Open jam Wed., Reggae Thurs., Live music Fri. & Sat. ZEST KITCHEN & BAR 275 S. 200 West, SLC, 801-433-0589, DJs

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AUGUST 13, 2015 | 65

Š 2015

BY DAVID LEVINSON WILK

ACROSS

1. Tennis great Nadal 2. Maroon 3. Enemy of a Medici 4. ____ clarinet 5. Sondheim's Sweeney 6. Org. that watches closely for brief nudity 7. Collections 8. "The 3-minute word search game" 9. Time in New York when it's midnight in Los Angeles 10. Discharge

51. "Michael Clayton" director Tony 52. French engineer Gustave 55. Frozen drink brand 56. Of two minds 57. One of Isaac's twins 58. The EPA issues them: Abbr.

59. Wrathful 60. Chant at a bullfight 61. Mo. town

Last week’s answers

No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

DOWN

11. Gives a helping hand 12. Mike holders 15. Brand name that's Japanese for "precision" 18. Dry Italian wine 21. Key beside Q 25. Pipe shape 26. Suffix with ox- or sulf27. Vietnamese holiday 28. "Told Y'all" rapper 29. Fashion's Diane ____ Furstenberg 30. Big factor in the Cy Young Award 31. Member of the House, for short 34. Prefix with night or light 35. ____ mess 36. Lifesaver's inits.

38. "Mazel ____!"

39. Avril Lavigne's "Sk8er ____" 40. Make bigger: Abbr.

43. Any part of "!&$@*$!"

45. Horror film locale: Abbr.

47. Moet & Chandon rival 48. "____ tu" (Verdi aria) 49. "Damn Yankees" villain 50. Native Alaskans

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9.

1. Yank's foe 4. Green machines 8. Second-string players 13. 52 semanas 14. Long, easy strides 16. Resistance-related 17. Occasion during which Barack and Michelle saw "Do the Right Thing" 19. Crosswords have them 20. 1997 Jack Nicholson movie with a script so simple ... 55-Across!

22. Director Kazan 23. Cabbage often baked into chips 24. 1950s-60s TV show with scripts so simple ... 55-Across!

32. Church official 33. Greedy cry 34. Part of "otoh" 37. 1970 hit song with lyrics so simple ...

55-Across!

41. Day care break 42. Development site?

44. Nary a soul 46. 1996 bestseller with a message so simple ... 55-Across!

53. Bilingual TV cartoon character 54. 1052, to Caesar 55. "The process of putting this down on paper feels effortless!" (or what's going on in 17-, 24-, 37- and 46-Across) 61. Shaggy's dog, to Shaggy 62. It was initially called "Chemgrass" 63. ____ Haute, Indiana 64. He received 2.8 million votes in 2000 65. Part of Italy where Cape Spartivento is 66. Tennis great Ivan 67. "If you prick ____ we not bleed?": Shakespeare 68. One of four in Massachusetts: Abbr.

SUDOKU

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66 | AUGUST 13, 2015

CROSSWORD PUZZLE

COMMUNITY

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Estheticians at Avenues Day Spa chose candles and colors to create a calming atmosphere.

INSIDE /

| COMMUNITY |

master esthetician. “The owners are amazing, generous people and we all are able to work harmoniously together.”

That charming and quirky character is no wonder, considering Avenues Day Spa is located in a remodeled Victorian surrounded by beautiful xeriscaping and red stone steps. As soon as clients step through the front door, they are ensconced in a peaceful, comfortable waiting area before they are led to a private room for their service.

“My Number One would probably be the environment,” says Beck. “It’s peaceful, and I think anyone who comes in can attest to that. I like that it’s a smaller place, because we are able to build a relationship with our clients and get to know them and their needs without a lot of hustle going on around us.”

Zak prides herself on providing an extraordinary experience for guests as soon as they walk in the door. “We truly care, and because of that, we pay attention to all the details surrounding our guests’ services and experience,” she says. “We take note of clients’ specific needs and expectations and we take pride in educating our clients to ensure they feel the full benefit of the services.” n

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

ooking for world-class pampering with a local vibe? Check out Avenues Day Spa, which offers massages, facials, manicures and pedicures, inch-loss wraps, waxing and more. Pany Zak, co-owner of Avenues Day Spa, attended esthetics school in 2003 to work with her brother, who was graduating from a plastic surgery medical residency that year. When her brother moved to California, Zak decided she loved Salt Lake City and wanted to stay.

She founded Avenues Day Spa in 2004.

The estheticians who work at Avenues Day Spa sing its praises. “I like the friendships I’ve built with everyone, including the clients,” says Jade Beck, master esthetician. “It’s nice to go into work and never feel stressed, even on our busy days.”

Donna May, a master esthetician and massage therapist, loves all the opportunities she has to perform different kinds of massages on clients. Avenues Day Spa offers hot stone, relaxation, aromatherapy, deep tissue, shiatsu (similar to acupressure, shiatsu is designed to balance the energy of the body by activating points along the energy meridians), reflexology (a relaxing foot or hand massage that uses pressure-point techniques to re-establish the body’s energy flow), prenatal and sports massages, as well as craniosacral therapy, which involves light touches on the bones of the skull, spine and pelvis to release tension and improve body movement.

Avenues Day Spa also offers a wide range of facials (European, hot stone, glycolic, peptide peel and more), and manicures and pedicures for 30, 60 or 90 minutes.

Body treatments include coconut-lime scrubs, cellulite treatment, inch-loss linen wraps and more. And the spa’s emphasis on quality doesn’t end with its incredible list of services. “The environment is charming and full of character,” says Nichole Horton,

When I look deep into your eyes, I can see the wounds from your cries.

Words strangled with lies, A few forgotten goodbyes.

But nobody seems to realize those innocent teal eyes.

Looking far to the corner sides.. Simply searching for someone to coincide. Someone to love and confide, Someone to take away the thoughts of suicide.

Too bad his view has been misguided..

Mislead to only see the painful parts defied.

Would rather accept drugs found curbside, To fulfill that desired sense of pride.

But what he doesn’t seem to notice.. its me. Standing right here beside. Just dying to hold your body tight.

Please let me change what love has signified.

Let go and everything will be alright.

Kiana Pennock

Send your poem (max 15 lines), to: Poet’s Corner, City Weekly, 248 South Main Street, SLC, UT 84101 or e-mail to poetscorner@cityweekly.net.

Published entrants receive a $15 value gift from CW. Each entry must include name and mailing address.

#cwpoetscorner

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SHOP girl

Denim Dreams T

he athletic-wear craze (think yoga pants) has taken a small chunk of sales away from the 16-billion-dollar jeans business in the United States. You would never know it, though, because jeans have become the most ubiquitous fashion item in our closets. I distinctly remember my first pair of jeans. It was 1979, and they were Jordache. They were so tight, I had to lie on the floor and suck in my stomach to zip them up.

I didn’t care how uncomfortable they were, because, damn—I looked hot on the rollerskating rink! I moved to Gloria Vanderbilt, with her iconic white swan on the back pocket, and then on to Guess. I skipped right over Calvin Klein because all the kids in my hometown of über-preppy Chestnut Hill, PA, were wearing Girbaud Jeans.

Now, I’m dreaming about this locally found denim. n

Ditch the red tab for blue with Levi’s premium line, Made & Crafted. An empire skinny jean with crocking wash means each jean is uniquely dyed and finished to give it a worn-in, aged look while maintaining Levi’s trademark comfort. $198 at The Stockist (875 E. 900 South, 801-532-3458, TheStockistShop.com).

You say, “flare,” I say, “bell-bottoms.” Yes, they are back and they give an elongated, skinny look to your legs. That’s good, right? Paige Manhattan mid-rise boot-cut jean with flare bottoms $193 at Nordstrom (Fashion Place, 6191 S. State, 801-261-4402; City Creek Mall, 55 S. West Temple, 801-322-4200, Shop.Nordstrom.com).

CHRISTA ZARO comments@cityweekly.net Follow Christa: @christazaro @phillytoslc

Adriano Goldschmied’s (AG) new 3D photocell printing technology is unbelievable. You will want to poke your fingers through the distressed holes but they don’t really exist.

Jeans are made to look distressed, but without the actual distress, and they are printed on super soft sateen instead of denim.

Photoreal Super Skinny Ankle Jean for $325 at Chalk Garden Co-Op (74 Main, 801-364-4032).

Anthropologie’s Pilcro and Letterpress brand, Hyphen Jeans, are relaxed and cropped with a light wash. Roll them up and pair with some booties and you’ll be looking stylish at brunch. $158 at Anthropologie (City Creek Mall, 50 S. Main, 801-456-0431, Anthropologie.com).

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY B Y R O B

B R E Z S N Y

Go to RealAstrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes.

Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.

ARIES (March 21-April 19) To ensure the full accuracy of this horoscope, I have been compelled to resurrect an old-fashioned English word that isn’t used much anymore: “gambol.” It means to cavort and frolic in a playful manner, or to romp and skip around with mad glee, as if you are unable to stop yourself from dancing. The astrological omens seem unambiguous in their message: In order to cultivate the state of mind that will enable you to meet all your dates with destiny in the coming weeks, you need to gambol at least once every day.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Do you remember your first kiss? How about the first time you had sex? Although those events may not have been perfectly smooth and graceful, they were radical breakthroughs that changed your life and altered your consciousness. Since then, there may have been a few other intimate rites of passage that have impacted you with similar intensity. No doubt you will experience others in the future. In fact, I suspect that the next installments are due to arrive in the coming months. Get ready for further initiations in these mysteries.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20) Two-thirds of us don’t know what our strengths and talents are. That’s the conclusion of a study published in The Journal of Positive Psychology. One reason for the problem is what the report’s co-author Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener calls “strengths blindness,” in which we neglect our real powers because we regard them as ordinary or take them for granted. Here’s the good news, Gemini: If you suffer from even a partial ignorance about the nature of your potentials, the coming months will be a favorable time to remedy that glitch. Life will conspire to help you see the truth.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) The Great Balancing Act of 2015 doesn’t demand that you be a wishy-washy, eager-to-please, self-canceling harmony whore.

Purge such possibilities from your mind. What the Great Balancing Act asks of you is to express what you stand for with great clarity. It invites you to free yourself, as much as you can, from worrying about what people think of you. It encourages you to be shaped less by the expectations of others and more by what you really want. Do you know what you really want, Libra? Find out! P.S.: Your task is not to work on the surface level, trying to manipulate the appearance of things. Focus your efforts in the depths of yourself.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) Muslims, Jews, and Christians are collaborating to erect a joint house of worship in Berlin. The building, scheduled to be finished by 2018, will have separate areas for each religion as well as a common space for members of all three to gather. Even if you don’t belong to any faith, you may be inspired by this pioneering effort to foster mutual tolerance. I offer it up to you as a vivid symbol of unity. May it help inspire you to take full advantage of your current opportunities to heal schisms, build consensus, and cultivate harmony.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) When he served as Italian Prime Minister, Silvio Berlusconi denigrated the cuisine of Finland. “Finns don’t even know what prosciutto is,” he sneered. At best, he said, their food is to be “endured.” He mocked the “marinated reindeer” they eat. But Finland fought back against the insults. In an international pizza contest held in New York, their chefs won first Prize for their “Pizza Berlusconi,” a specialty pizza that featured marinated reindeer. The Italian entry finished second. I foresee you enjoying a comparable reversal in the coming months, Pisces. And it all begins now.

AUGUST 13, 2015 | 69

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) “No tree can grow to Heaven unless its roots reach down to Hell,” wrote psychologist Carl Jung in his book Aion. My interpretation: We earn the right to experience profound love and brilliant light by becoming familiar with shadows and suffering.

Indeed, it may not be possible to ripen into our most radiant beauty without having tangled with life’s ugliness. According to my understanding of your long-term cycle, Virgo, you have dutifully completed an extended phase of downward growth.

In the next extended phase, however, upward growth will predominate. You did reasonably well on the hellish stuff; now comes the more heavenly rewards.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) “Most people reach the top of the ladder of success only to find it’s leaning against the wrong wall.” Aquarian actor Paul Sorensen said that. It’s no coincidence that I’m bringing this theory to your attention right now. The coming months will be a good time to determine whether the ladder you have been climbing is leaning against the right wall or wrong wall. My advice is to question yourself at length. Be as objective as possible. Swear to tell yourself the whole truth. If, after your investigations, you decide it is indeed the wrong wall, climb down from the ladder and haul it over to the right wall. And if you’re satisfied that you are where you should be, celebrate!

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LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) Many people harbor the unconscious bias that beauty resides primarily in things that are polished, sleek, and perfect.

Celebrities work hard and spend a lot of money to cultivate their immaculate attractiveness, and are often treated as if they have the most pleasing appearance that human beings can have. Art that is displayed in museums has equally flawless packaging.

But the current astrological omens suggest that it’s important for you to appreciate a different kind of beauty: the crooked, wobbly, eccentric stuff. For the foreseeable future, that’s where you’ll find the most inspiration.

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SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) In some phases of your life, you have been a wanderer. You’ve had a fuzzy sense of where you belong. It has been a challenge to know which target you should aim your arrows at. During those times, you may have been forceful but not as productive as you’d like to be; you may have been energetic but a bit too inefficient to accomplish wonders and marvels. From what I can tell, one of those wandering seasons is now coming to a close. In the months ahead, you will have a growing clarity about where your future power spot is located—and may even find the elusive sanctuary called “home.” Here’s a good way to prepare CANCER (June 21-July 22) In 1504, Michelangelo finished his sculpture of the Biblical hero for this transition: Spend a few hours telling yourself the story David. But he hadn’t been the first person to toil on the 17-foot- of your origins. Remember all the major events of your life as if high block of marble. Forty years earlier, the artist Agostino di you were watching a movie.

Duccio was commissioned to carve David out of the stone. His work was minimal, however. He did little more than create the rough CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) shape of the legs and torso. In 1476, Antonio Rossellino resumed You have been slowing to a crawl as you approach an excitwhere Agostino had stopped, but he didn’t last long, either. By ing transition. But I’m here to advise you to resume normal the time Michelangelo launched his effort, the massive slab had speed. There’s no need for excessive caution. You have paid languished for 25 years. I see parallels between this story and your your dues; you have made your meticulous arrangements; you own, Cancerian. I suspect that you will be invited to take on a project have performed your quiet heroisms. Now it’s time to relax into that has been on hold or gotten delayed. This may require you to the rewards you have earned. Lighten your mood, Capricorn. complete labors that were begun by others—or maybe instigated Welcome the onrushing peace and start planning how you will capitalize on your new freedom. by you when you were in a very different frame of mind.

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WITH BABS DELAY Broker, Urban Utah Homes & Estates, urbanutah.com Chair, Downtown Merchants Association

Gates of Hell M

aybe you’ve been in a pickle like this: 1. You’re between jobs and can’t afford your own place; or, 2. you’ve been kicked out of your place because you can’t afford rent. Hopefully, someone lets you crash for a bit while you get your ducks in a row. Or maybe you couch surf. Most likely, you will figure out your sitch and life gets better.

For some, unfortunately, life gets worse, and those are our homeless friends. Many of these men, women and kids have additional problems to not having roofs over their heads or beds to sleep in at night. They have drug or alcohol addictions and mental health problems. If you get too high on the street, it’s possible to pass out under a tree and get rolled by the dealer who got you into that condition.

Without a permanent address, it can be difficult to get a government-issued ID. And, without ID, you can’t get jack—not a home, a job, social security, welfare, food stamps— nothing! To get an ID, you must be able to find a ride or have enough gas to get you to the DMV. You also have to have your birth certificate and a few other forms of identification to prove you are who you are. How are you going to get your birth certificate mailed to you if you’re living on the streets? How long will that take? Can you borrow a phone to make that call? Do you have the money required?

Homelessness is hell, and once you pass through those gates, there may be more and more levels of it as you fall—without any ropes to save you. How are you going to get a job when you’re rolling two suitcases onto the bus and into the interview?

Liz Buehler knows this awful path. She’s been the Homeless Services Coordinator for Salt Lake City for two years. In July, Buehler— along with staff and volunteers of the shelter’s jobs program—cleaned out 300 rolling garbage cans and put them in line like soldiers in a vacant building behind the Road Home shelter. “A Place for Your Stuff” is a bare-bones basic solution to the age-old “steal a grocery cart” mobile storage container. Twice a day, homeless folk have access to deposit into or collect personal possessions from a designated container for free. No need to drag suitcases to a job interview or the DMV when you have a safe place to store them. The program is paid for, in part, by the money raised from the red parking meters downtown labeled “HOST.” (Rather than giving money to panhandlers, you put change in the HOST meters.)

The police department returned 80-plus shopping carts to Smiths (worth more than $10,000), once the new facility opened. In one month, 150 containers are being used, and the program is working. At least it’s one rope that can help some get back up from hell. n [Editor’s note: Babs De Lay is a candidate for Salt Lake City Council District 4.]

Content is prepared expressly for Community and is not by City Weekly staff

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ANONYMOUSLY CONFESS YOUR SECRETS WHEN I WAS 13 I HOT BOXED MY CLOSET WHILE MY GRANDMA WAS IN THE NEXT ROOM

Keri, stop lying and saying you’re going to get lunch. We know you’re going to have a quickie. Own it girl! I would burn down my work but that would require getting matches and accelerate and that’s just to much time.

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AUGUST 13, 2015 | 71

 I lie. I lie all the time, I’m not sure when the last time I told the truth was. I live the lie so well everyone believes me and I should be an actor. But you all can’t handle me.

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72 | AUGUST 13, 2015

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