City Weekly Dec 17, 2015 by Copperfield Publishing

C I T Y W E E K LY. N E T D E C E M B E R 1 7, 2 0 1 5 | V O L . 3 2 N 0 . 3 2

WHERE TO BE FOR THE HOLIDAYS AND

NEW YEAR'S EVE

s am

FRIGHTFULLY D E L I G H T F U L

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2 | DECEMBER 17, 2015

CWCONTENTS COVER STORY

FRIGHTFULLY DELIGHTFUL

Get the 411 on where to be for the holidays and New Year’s Eve from City Weekly staff and contributors.

Cover illustration by Derek Carlisle

4 LETTERS 6 OPINION 12 NEWS 15 A&E 20 DINE 44 CINEMA 47 TRUE TV 48 MUSIC 59 COMMUNITY

CONTRIBUTOR KYLEE EHMANN

Five Spot, p. 8 As one of City Weekly’s bright and hardworking editorial interns, Kylee performs many thankless tasks, such as data entry, making coffee runs and taking a dive in the fourth round after a light left hook. In her spare time, she grooms cats—for greatness.

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GAVIN’S UNDERGROUND

Here’s your Guide to the End of the Year. Bring a towel.

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LETTERS Welcome to Your New Life

We may never know the exact number of members who have left the LDS Church in protest over its new policy on children. I have heard the number lies anywhere from a few hundred to a few thousand. As someone who stopped attending the LDS Church in 2002, I want to welcome my brothers and sisters into the joys and challenges of their new life. If you still believe in Jesus Christ, I want to recommend several churches: The Rising in Draper; Good Shepherd Lutheran in Sandy; Capital Church and the Cathedral Church of St. Mark in Salt Lake City; and Grace Lutheran Church, The Heights Community and Good Shepherds Fellowship International in Bountiful. May God bless you in your new experience.

CORY HAMBLIN Bountiful

Are These Men Ever Wrong?

I would like to know the names of the LDS Church leaders who made the recent judgment which bans children of same-sex marriages from baptism and other church connections until age 18 and then only after they denounce their own parents. Who are these angry, controlling people? We might assume they are white, elderly Mormons. We imagine that they wear dark suits, white shirts, black ties, black Oxfords

WRITE US: Salt Lake City Weekly, 248 S. Main, Salt Lake City, UT 84101. E-mail: comments@cityweekly.net. Fax: 801-575-6106. We reserve the right to edit for length and clarity. Preference will be given to letters that are 300 words or less and sent uniquely to City Weekly. Full name, address and phone number must be included, even on emailed submissions, for verification purposes. and black dress socks. Do these “godly” men hold votes on church handbook rules? Was this ruling unanimous? Do they have any guilt or regrets about the people they hurt? Are they speaking for God? If so, is it the angry God of the Old Testament or the much nicer God of the New Testament? Can any of these men ever admit to making a wrong decision and a PR blunder ? I’m fairly certain that these leaders did what they thought was right. The Catholic leaders thought they were right and doing God’s work during the Inquisition. They even blessed the tools of torture before they were applied.

or if it leaks into waterways, fruits and vegetables can become contaminated. Cross-contamination can also occur when produce is placed on the same surface as meat, or when someone doesn’t practice proper hygiene. When more people adopt a vegan diet, fewer animals will be bred for food, lessening the threat of E. coli contamination. See PETA.org for more information and free vegan recipes, including one for mock chicken salad.

TED OTTINGER

Correction: The address of the Porcupine Pub & Grille is 258 S. 1300 East in Salt Lake City. The article “Pub Appeal: There’s a new (and popular) Porcupine in town” [Dining, Dec. 10, City Weekly] listed an incorrect street address.

Taylorsville

Don’t Blame the Celery & Onions

Recently, at least 19 people in seven states—including Montana, Utah and Colorado—were sickened by an E. coli outbreak linked to packaged chicken salad. Since health officials have been blaming celery and onions for the outbreak, many people may not realize that meat consumption is the root cause of the problem. Plant-based foods don’t naturally harbor E. coli bacteria. It lives in the intestinal tracts and feces of warm-blooded animals. When cow or chicken manure is used to fertilize crops

HEATHER MOORE The PETA Foundation

STAFF Business/Office

Publisher JOHN SALTAS General Manager ANDY SUTCLIFFE

Accounting Manager CODY WINGET Associate Business Manager PAULA SALTAS Office Administrator CELESTE NELSON Technical Director BRYAN MANNOS

Editorial

Editor JERRE WROBLE Managing Editor BRANDON BURT Arts &Entertainment Editor SCOTT RENSHAW Music Editor RANDY HARWARD Senior Staff Writer STEPHEN DARK Staff Writer COLBY FRAZIER Copy Editor ANDREA HARVEY Dining Listings Coordinator MIKEY SALTAS Interns KYLEE EHMANN, ELIZABETH SUGGS

Marketing

Marketing Manager JACKIE BRIGGS Marketing/Events Coordinator NICOLE ENRIGHT The Word GARY ABBREDERIS, BEN BALDRIDGE, ALISSA DIMICK, SARA FINKLE, ALLISON HUTTO, DANI POIRIER, LAUREN TAGGE, TINA TRUONG, LILY WETTERLIN, ELLEN YAKISH

Contributors CECIL ADAMS,

DEANN ARMES, KIMBALL BENNION, KATHARINE BIELE, ROB BREZSNY, KATHLEEN CURRY, BABS DE LAY, BILL FROST, GEOFF GRIFFIN, MARYANN JOHANSON, KATHERINE PIOLI, TED SCHEFFLER,GAVIN SHEEHAN, CHUCK SHEPHERD, ERIC D. SNIDER, BRIAN STAKER, JOHN TAYLOR, CHRISTA ZARO

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Salt Lake City Weekly is published every Thursday by Copperfield Publishing Inc. The Salt Lake City Weekly is an independent publication dedicated to alternative news and news sources, and serves as a comprehensive entertainment guide. 50,000 copies of the Salt Lake City Weekly are free of charge at more than 1,800 locations along the Wasatch Front, limit one copy per reader. Additional copies of the paper may be purchased for $1 (Best of Utah and other special issues, $5) payable to the Salt Lake City Weekly in advance. No person, without expressed permission of Copperfield Publishing Inc., may take more than one copy of any Salt Lake City Weekly issue. No portion of the Salt Lake City Weekly may be reproduced in whole or part by any means, including electronic retrieval systems, without the written permission of the Publisher. Third-Class postage paid at Midvale, UT. Delivery may take one week. All Rights Reserved. ®

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PRIVATE EY

Très Goodbyes

My grandmother baked homemade bread. With each batch, she placed a bit of dough in the frying pan with some Crisco and fried it into what she said were scones. I think, though, and tasty as they were (made more so with slathers of butter and homemade elderberry jam) they were just fried dough. The next time I’d see anything like them was years later at the Utah State Fairpark where a food stand was selling Navajo tacos, which were nearly the same except for the slathering of beans. In the early 1970s, I had my first Johanna’s Kitchen version of a scone—a flying-saucersize mass of deep fried dough, deep brown, light and airy, slathered in butter. Plus jam or honey, and you had room for all three they were so big. Back then, Johanna’s Kitchen was sort of remote, a South State Street waystop surrounded by beet fields and farmland. Most everyone living in the south end of the valley ate at least one meal at Johanna’s. It was homey. Breakfasts were filling and the coffee good. You could take a pie to go. I was there about two months ago (and ran into about three old familiar faces), but I didn’t buy a pie. I should have because on Sunday night, Johanna’s just blew to smithereens. A gas leak or something and next thing you know, egg cartons are landing half mile away, and the walls are caving in. It was quite a blast, captured by at least two security cameras at nearby businesses. I’m gonna miss those scones. Over the span of two decades plus five, we’ve moved over 100,000 newspapers inside of Johanna’s Kitchen. It’s a real shame in my view. When we lose such homey artifacts, we lose more than buildings, we lose a part of who we are and how we became how we are. Just a week earlier, a Cottonwood Heights home went up in flames, a 100-percent goner. The home belonged to Mike Ricks and his wife, Linda Steele. Mike was the bassist in the Rick Welter Band, one of the best bands ever to play in Utah. Rick Welter, a bluesman through and through hit Salt

Lake City with his band, the Dynatones, and could really wail on his guitar. To his side, keeping beat and looking cool was Mike Ricks, as fine a bassist as you’ll ever hear. When Mike’s home burned down, it took more than memories but also the wood and steel that comprised his vintage guitar collection, the tools of his trade. It was Mike who coined the Dead Goat’s bumper sticker phrase “Just a hop, skip, and a prayer from Temple Square.” Some years later, Mike became partner in the Dead Goat Saloon, paired with local legend, John Paul Brophy. John Paul has written for this paper off and on since the late 1980s, and no one in this town has ever matched his passionate style, breadth of knowledge and love of blues music. When the unsafe Arrow Press Square building that housed the Dead Goat was demolished last week (long overdue thanks to decades of abuse and neglect by former owners), a piece of this city’s soul went with it. I remember my first visit, before it became a blues hall—the great hockey fans, the famous goat heads, the pool tables, the beer and, scrawled onto a brick in the men’s restroom this: G. Cole. That meant my Bingham Buddy Gerald Cole had beat me there. He signs his name on everything, like Kilroy. I’d like that brick. And a Goat Burger, one of the finest old-style burgers anywhere, RIP. “I salvaged the many goat heads and the extensive collection of autographed photos of the bands that played the bar that adorned the walls, along with the vintage cash register that was the centerpiece of the front bar,” says John Paul. “That little bar was very much the highlight of my life.” Among the shows John Paul lists as his favorites are Mick Taylor (a Rolling Stone), Buddy Miles (played with Jimi Hendrix), Los Lobos jamming after a Fairpark show,

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Levon Helm (of The Band), Texas bluesman W.C. Clark (where Stevie Ray Vaughan got his start) and John McEuen (Nitty Gritty Dirt band). Did you happen to see any of those? Among mine was Charlie Musselwhite. I’m a sucker for harmonica. Per John Paul, “Carolyn Wonderland was one of my favorites when she used to play my club. I first heard the song Dead Goat Saloon on a live stream on the computer two years ago from a festival in Northern California when she played it in front of 10,000 people. I was doing some editing work and listening with one ear when I heard the line “Utah moon.” That got my full attention, and it just went over the rainbow from there; I was overwhelmed with emotion. She sent it to me in August 2013—a timely tribute after exactly 10 years since the last live music was played in the bar.” If you can’t find the song out there, I’d be happy to forward it to anyone who asks. Besides references to wall paintings, Commander Cody and Merle Haggard, Wonderland also bemoans that after John Paul and Mike, the Dead Goat became a shaker bar with pole dancers replacing the guitars. Progress? Not. That was John Paul’s house, that room was sacred, Just too much soul to hide in a downtown bar. We danced our cares away underneath a silver Utah moon, All night at the Dead Goat Saloon, Drank ourselves to death a thousand times before noon, Another all-nighter at the Dead Goat Saloon. Scones and guitars and music. The real treasures. CW

Do you have a special memory from either the Dead Goat Saloon or Johanna’s Kitchen?

@johnsaltas

WE DANCED OUR CARES AWAY UNDERNEATH A SILVER UTAH MOON, ALL NIGHT AT THE DEAD GOAT SALOON

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Editor’s note: Visit the “Mom and Michael Ricks’ rebuild” crowdfunding campaign at GoFundMe.com/momandmike. Send comments to john@cityweekly.net.

Jeff Chipian: Johanna’s scones. I black out until I see one on my plate, so the rest is a little blurry.

Mason Rodrickc: When I first moved to Salt Lake City, I was a 14-year-old amoeba trying to find myself. Some new friends took me in my bright red, totally quirky polyester slacks and pearl-snap shirt to my first show Lo-Fi Cafe (post-Dead Goat). It was a vibrant and welcoming vision of city that I knew I would soon call home.

Paula Saltas: I remember John Saltas wearing his white Dead Goat Saloon sweatshirt almost daily. Best article of clothing he’s ever had. It reminds us of great times and John Paul.

Josh Scheuerman: Pete Yorn played at the Dead Goat on his first U.S. tour in support of the album MusicForTheMorningAfter. After his show, a few pints and a wonderful cover of the Smiths’ “Panic,” he went on to success and accolades, but a few domestic beers in a basement bar set a good stage from which to be launched.

Stephen Dark: Watching former Real Salt Lake General Manager Garth Lagerwey shovel down a massive breakfast— pancakes at Johanna’s were always stellar—while he dissected RSL’s performance. Much like Gordon Gekko in Oliver Stone’s Wall Street, he had no time to stop for lunch.

Alissa Dimick: My grandma’s favorite restaurant was Johanna’s. On my wedding day, we had breakfast there to remember her on my special day—she had passed four years earlier. The staff there was so kind to us, and they helped give me a most memorable day.

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DECEMBER 17, 2015 | 7

HITS&MISSES BY KATHARINE BIELE

RANDOM QUESTIONS, SURPRISING ANSWERS

@kathybiele

There’s holiday irony in the Salt Lake City Council’s vote to constrain the Inn Between’s efforts to help terminally ill homeless people. It’s not just the goodwill-toward-men aspect of the season but also the call to place small homeless facilities throughout the city. The county and the city are seeking $20 million from the Legislature to place smaller, targeted shelters throughout the community. That, according to Mayor Ralph Becker’s homeless commission, would allow homeless families with children, single women and others to find shelters that are safer than traditional, large shelters with their crime and drug problems. But the council, in a 4-3 vote, decided that providing end-oflife housing for a few homeless people fits into the NIMBY category. Outgoing Councilman Kyle LaMalfa told ABC4 News that these facilities aren’t welcome in bedroom communities or “calm, peaceful neighborhoods.” Dying is just too disruptive. Becker still has a chance to veto the decision.

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Public Land Priorities

OK, now, we’re a “federal republic” as opposed or similar to a “constitutional republic.” Or, whatever, just so long as we’re not a democracy, or anything that would give the feds or general public a say in how the government is run. Now, it looks like the state is headed toward a quixotic $14 million lawsuit against the federal government for denying us the right to “dispose” of public lands any old way we want. A pricey team of outside lawyers say, yeah, Utah should sue. But critics, including University of Utah legal scholars, call it an exercise in futility. Even if Utah wins, they say, the feds still keep the subsurface mineral wealth. And while the Legislature has its panties in a bunch, its focus is on energy and fossil fuels—not true stewardship of public lands in this state.

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Now, Phil Lyman says he regrets leading his ATV stampede into a protected Southern Utah canyon. Yes, the huffy San Juan County commissioner says he should have exercised restraint and, no, he wouldn’t ride roughshod over the fragile archeological site again. Cross his heart. At least, that’s what Lyman’s legal mouthpiece says as sentencing looms. The Deseret News chose to go with the “it was a mistake” line on its front page, while The Salt Lake Tribune just questioned whether or not jail was in the offing. Lyman’s lawyers said he’s suffered enough. He’s suffered so much, in fact, for his misdeeds that probation would be enough. And maybe that would be enough if we could hear his apologies out of his own mouth—not his lawyer’s.

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No Safe Haven

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FIVE SPOT

After arriving in Sudan in her 20s, Shannon Egan worked as teacher and then as a freelance journalist for the United Nations, reporting on events like the Darfur genocide. The opportunity to travel to Africa was the native Salt Laker’s childhood dream. Sudan was also a place where, under Sharia law, alcohol was prohibited. For a woman already struggling with alcohol issues, she hoped it would help her stay sober. Upon returning stateside, she wrote on humanitarian crises for the U.N. Population Fund in New York City while her own addiction issues grew to include prescription drugs. By 2007, her addictions cost her both her job and a book contract. Now, five years into sobriety and working for the Utah Support Advocates for Recovery Awareness (USARA), a statewide recovery community organization, Egan is pushing for change from the government to reduce stigma around addiction and barriers to long-term recovery. This past August, Egan published a memoir, No Tourists Allowed: Seeking Inner Peace & Sobriety in War-Torn Sudan, and is now beginning her second book.

You said you were naive about the conditions in Sudan when you left Utah. Do you wish you would have known what you were getting yourself into?

No. I’m proud of the way I left. It was bold! That move taught me that, in order to achieve your wildest dreams, you must be willing to take huge risks.

What is the biggest misconception people have about addicts?

That they are morally flawed. This is not the case. Addiction is a health issue, not a moral issue, and it’s time to stop the stigma and misinformation surrounding it in order to reduce the barriers facing recovering individuals. Rehabilitation is always a better treatment choice than punishment.

How did you make the career shift from journalism to working at USARA?

In 2012, after two years in recovery, I decided to blast my story on Facebook. At this point, only a handful of people really knew the extent of my addiction. Breaking my anonymity brought me to USARA, and I fell in love with its mission, which is to empower people to overcome shame and proudly proclaim their past in order to infuse hope in those still struggling.

What is one thing you’d like to tell people with addictions or those in recovery?

At my lowest point, I worked as a stripper and ended up in jail with a felony DUI. I had so much shame over this. But I am not my past. I want people to know that no matter what their story is, there is purpose and meaning in it. We all have light and dark within us. It really is OK to go through ugly times. Not only can we heal and persevere, but we were born to do so.

—KYLEE EHMANN comments@cityweekly.net

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STRAIGHT DOPE Mattress Mania How do mattress stores manage to stay in business? They’re all over the place, but the average adult buys a mattress once every 5 to 10 years. With high overhead and infrequent purchases, how do they stay around? (This question was inspired by a friend, Bethany.) —Not Bethany

see your query, NB, and raise you. To my mind, it’s not just about how these stores manage to stay in business, but how are there so goddamned many of them— particularly right now? In June, a Texas Monthly article described the worrisome proliferation of mattress stores in Houston, where the venerably groovy Montrose neighborhood has become known as “the Mattrose” on account of all the new sleep shops. An April headline in the Northwest Indiana Times asked, apropos the town of Schererville, “Why the heck are so many mattress stores opening?” So, you and I aren’t the only ones wondering. What gives? One thing that jars about this state of affairs is that, in the age of Amazon, there’s something very old-economy about mattress stores, beyond their relentlessly cheesy look. No one goes to bookstores to buy books anymore, right? Well, not exactly. A 2014 report by the consulting firm A.T. Kearney found that despite the digital hype, overall, a full 90 percent of retail transactions still take place in physical stores. And according to an investor presentation by industry giant Mattress Firm, dedicated mattress stores account for 46 percent of total mattress sales, handily beating out furniture stores (35 percent) and department stores (5 percent) for the largest share of the market. So mattress delivery by drone is still a ways off. But again, these stores aren’t just surviving, they’re flourishing—that market share has more than doubled in the last 20 years. Why open a mattress store when there’s another just down the street? Turns out the economics make perfect sense: Running a mattress store doesn’t cost much. Since each store is essentially a showroom, with the product delivered to your home from a warehouse, sellers don’t keep a lot of inventory around. And the salespeople generally work on commission. So contrary to your assumption, overhead is actually pretty low. Plus, the uninhibited signage at these places provides constant free advertising. The industry is benefiting from postrecession catch-up. According to the trade journal Sleep Retailer, the global mattress market saw a decrease in sales in 2008 and 2009; in the years since, the rebounding economy— including increasing home ownership—has occasioned “remarkable” growth in the industry, says SR, expected to reach $25 billion globally by 2017. The United States is the largest retail mattress market worldwide. The markup is stupendous. This is the big

BY CECIL ADAMS

SLUG SIGNORINO

one. Mattress markups are notably higher than for other furniture items: Consumer Reports puts gross profit margins on mattresses at 30 to 40 percent, both for wholesalers and for retailers, and up to 50 percent for makers of super-luxe products. One estimate (from a boutique mattress start-up, so take this with a grain of salt) claimed that mainstream retailers can charge $3,000 for a mattress (after wholesale and retail markups, marketing costs and commissions) that cost only $300 to produce. What accounts for this? It’s your classic oligopoly, where the market is dominated by just a few makers—think familiar names like Serta, Sealy, et al. More on this below. Certain ancillary factors are working in the mattress-pushers’ favor too. Newspapers and lifestyle magazines provide great propaganda in the form of endless encomiums to getting a good night’s sleep, and the well-publicized resurgence of bedbugs certainly plays nicely with the industry’s attempts to get you to replace your mattress more often. On the principle of Chekhov’s gun, if I use a loaded term like “old economy” in the first act, we’ll be talking about “disruption” here in the third. And lo: Some not-exactlydisinterested observers say it’s high time to disrupt the mattress industry, which has been described variously as a “scam,” a “racket,” and, as suggested above, an “oligopoly.” Critics are galled by a system wherein retailers charge exorbitant, and wildly variable, prices for products whose differences from one another are often slight and described in nonsensical language—e.g., “ComforPedic iQ” with “Ultra Cool Memory Foam” and optional “AirCool Memory Foam with Micro GelTouch.” (Lots of product labeling is similarly nuts, of course; on the other hand, you’re not dropping $2,000 on a razor blade.) They point to the eyewear business, which has similarly been called oligopolistic, where the entrepreneurial upstart Warby Parker found success selling cheap glasses to hipsters. Whence the white knight of mattress sales? I found an article profiling one contender whose cofounders show the right credentials—both have Silicon Valley backgrounds, one’s got a great beard—but if I were a mattress seller, I wouldn’t be losing any sleep just yet.n

Send questions to Cecil via StraightDope. com or write him c/o Chicago Reader, 350 N. Orleans, Chicago 60654.

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NEWS Counting the Damages

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MASON RODRICKC

alt Lake Count y Mayor Ben Mc Adams claims that the alleged thef t by former Rep. Justin Miller, D-Salt Lake City—who served as his campaign manager and high-ranking county employee—may be worse than what was originally charged in his criminal case. According to a victim-impact statement submitted by the McAdams for Salt Lake County Mayor campaign to the court, the McAdams campaign alleges that Miller actually embezzled $79,839.85—far greater than the previously reported $25,000. This is based on an investigation by the forensic accounting firm Norman, Townsend & Johnson, which was hired by the campaign. In May 2015, City Weekly published stories and an audio recording between McAdams, Miller and political consultant Donald Dunn in which the mayor accused Miller of embezzling $25,000 of campaign funds when Miller worked as the mayor’s campaign manager and later as associate deputy mayor. Miller would later launch his own c ou nt er a c c u s at ion s against the mayor, claiming that Mc A da ms

COURTESY PHOTO

BY ERIC ETHINGTON eethington@cityweekly.net @EricEthington

COURTESY PHOTO

The Salt Lake County mayor’s victim statement alleges former campaign manager Justin Miller stole more than $79,000.

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POLITICS

“Miller’s criminal misconduct ... resulted in direct financial losses in the amount of $79,839.85.” —McAdams for Mayor campaign victim-impact statement

Salt Lake County Mayor Ben McAdams, left, says that former lawmaker Justin Miller, right, betrayed the public trust. had inappropriately awarded county contracts to supporters. Those accusations were later dismissed, and FBI spokesman Todd Palmer said in November that the agency had found “no evidence of wrongdoing” by McAdams. Miller, on the other hand, was charged with a second-degree felony for obtaining money under fraudulent pretenses. On Oct. 9, Miller pleaded guilty to one count of communications fraud. He then resigned his seat in the Legislature. “Miller’s criminal misconduct, willful misrepresentations and other deliberate misconduct during the time period from April 2013 through November 2014 resulted in direct financial losses in the amount of $79,839.85,” says the campaign’s statement, written by campaign treasurer Julie McAdams, the mayor’s spouse. The campaign’s investigation claims that Miller made dozens of fraudulent charges. For example, he allegedly reimbursed himself $1,029 for a payment to Diamond Rental. The campaign says that payment was never made. In another instance, Miller allegedly reimbursed himself $3,300 for a voter contact database, but he was reimbursed for it

twice, once from the campaign account and also from a political action committee that supported McAdams, where Miller also served as chief financial officer. “Considering every reasonable offset or credit in Mr. Miller’s favor,” the statement continues, “including Mr. Miller’s partial repayment of $9,600, the total outstanding pecuniary damages to Mayor Ben McAdams and the Ben McAdams for Salt Lake County [Mayor] campaign is approximately $57,700.” Miller is scheduled to be sentenced in 3rd District Court on Dec. 18. The McAdams campaign has proposed that if he pays back $35,000 by that day, it will not seek repayment of the additional expenditures in question. However, if Miller does not repay that amount by the 18th, the campaign will ask that the judge compel the full amount. Calls to Miller for comment were not returned. When asked about the higher dollar amount alleged by the McAdams campaign, Miller’s attorney, Steven Shapiro, calls the $79,839.85 number “simply outrageous. It’s not supported by any of the evidence that’s been presented in the handling of this case. If [the McAdams’ campaign] thinks they’re going to get something other than anything related to the count to which [Miller] pleaded guilty, we’re going to have to handle that in a separate negotiation,” Shapiro said. “We agree that [the $25,000] related to the count that he pleaded guilty to, we certainly owe restitution on that. But to the extent that they think they’re going to get something else … there has yet been any showing that he owes anything other than that,” he said. Thus far, Miller has not agreed to the figures the McAdams campaign is claiming are to be repaid nor is there an

agreement in place for how much restitution will be paid by the Dec. 18 deadline, says Assistant Davis County Attorney Steve Major, who is handling the case. “We’re trying to get the amount worked out,” says Major, “but my guess is that we’ll end up just having a regular sentencing hearing [on Dec. 18], and the restitution will get set for a hearing down the road. We’ve made the offer that if he pays [the $35,000] by the time of sentencing, we’ll reduce the charges to a third-degree felony, but I don’t think that’s going to happen.” Major also says that one of the concerns facing the prosecution are the new sentencing guidelines established by Gov. Herbert’s Commission on Criminal and Juvenile Justice and the Utah Sentencing Commission. “Under the new system,” says Major, “Adult Probation & Parole looks at a case at the time of the plea … and they’ve decided Mr. Miller is low-risk, so their recom mendation is court probation with a review every six months.” Major says that means Miller is unlikely to face any actual jail time. The McAdams campaign says that it’s anxious to put the matter behind them, but, “given the breadth of Mr. Miller’s misconduct and violation of the public trust, we believe some jail time is warranted.” Reached for comment, McAdams said, “I believe Justin’s actions represent a betrayal of the public trust, and embezzled funds from people who supported my campaign for Salt Lake County Mayor. Those people chose to participate in the electoral process, donating their personal funds to support my vision and my candidacy, and Justin betrayed their trust just as he did mine.” CW

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Wait, What? After certain takeoffs and landings were delayed on Nov. 7 at Paris’ Orly airport (several days before the terrorist attacks), a back trace on the problem forced the airport to disclose that its crucial “DECOR” computer system still runs on Windows 3.1 software (introduced in 1992). DECOR’s function is to estimate the spacing between aircraft on fog-bound, v i s u a l l y impossible runways, and apparently it must shut down whenever the airport scrambles to find an available 3.1-qualified technician.

BY CHUCK SHEPHERD

discipline, in that, according to contract rules, not more than four were labeled “preventable” in any two consecutive years). The bus drivers’ union president told the South Florida Sun-Sentinel that he “can’t figure out why” some drivers just get into more accidents than others. Elsewhere in transit news, notorious serial New York “joydriver” Darius McCollum, 50, commandeered yet another bus and was arrested on Nov. 11. He faces jail time, just as he has already served for more than two dozen bus- and train-”borrowing” incidents. (Based on news reports of McCollum over the years, he nonetheless might be a better bus driver than Charles Smith.)

WEIRD

Cultural Diversity Weird Japan (continued): Sony manufactured a robot dog (“Aibo”) from 1996 to 2006 for a legion of pet-fanciers, but now that supplies of spare parts and specialized repairers are dwindling, many of the beloved family “canines” are “dying” off. Not to worry, though, for many “surviving” owners are conducting elaborate, expensive—and even religious—burials with widely attended funerals for their Aibos. (A March 2015 Newsweek report offered a dazzling photographic array of Aibo funerals.) Aibo support groups proliferate online because, said one repair service director, “(W)e think that somehow, (Aibos) really have souls.” Leading Economic Indicators Art Basel, the annual weeklong festival for “One-Percenters” in Miami Beach, is scheduled for Dec. 1-6, and among the many excesses is the sale of on-demand caviar, available by text message, to be delivered in person within the hour, at $275 for a 125-gram tin. Miami New Times calls Art Basel “ComicCon for the world’s moneyed elite,” and among the extravaganzas is an “exotic dance club sheltered inside a greenhouse.” Four thousand artists, from 32 countries, are participating.

People With Issues Author Richard Brittain, 28 (and a former champion at the popular British Scrabble-like Countdown TV show), pleaded guilty in Scotland’s Glasgow Sheriff Court in November for his 2014 response to an unfavorable literary review by an 18-year-old supermarket worker posting on an Internet site. Brittain had acknowledged some criticisms of his book The World Rose in a blog, but said other critics had compared him to Dickens, Shakespeare and Rowling. However, he confessed, when he read the clerk’s review, he searched for her online, found where she worked, traveled 500 miles to the store and knocked her out with a wine bottle to the back of the head. (She was treated and released at a hospital.) Thanks This Week to Lisa Robinson and Joel Sullivan, and to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.

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Government in Action Charles Smith, 62, is set to drive municipal buses for Broward County, Florida, until he retires in 2020, even though his record includes 14 accidents in a recent five-year period (not enough for

More Things to Worry About 1. Carrie Pernula, 38, was arrested in Champlin, Minn., in October after a perhaps too-aggressive strategy for quieting raucous neighbor kids. According to the police report, Pernula, at wit’s end, apparently, wrote the kids’ parents by mail: “(Your) children look delicious. May I have a taste?” 2. Robinson Pinilla-Bolivar, 24, was arrested in Midland, Texas, in November, accused of threatening a woman at knifepoint because (according to the police report) she would not “smell his arm pit.”

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nNew World Order: “Crowdsourcing” start-ups (such as GoFundMe and Kickstarter) raise money online for projects such as underappreciated entrepreneurial ventures or families needing help with medical expenses. Day-trading dabbler Joe Campbell went online in November to beg for assistance after being crushed by a bet of the type that many say wrecked the U.S. economy in 2007-08. He held a pessimistic “short” position in his account on KaloBios Pharmaceuticals (KBIO)—hoping to exploit traders overly optimistic about the company. However, overnight NASDAQ trading awakened him with news that KBIO’s price had skyrocketed in frenzied trading and that Campbell now owed his broker $131,000—and Campbell’s new GoFundMe post stoically asks strangers to please help him pay that off.

nThe federal government confiscated more property from citizens (through “civil asset forfeiture”) in 2014 than burglars did, according to FBI figures publicized by the independent Institute for Justice (and that did not count state and local government seizures, which are not uniformly reported). None of the governments is bound by law to await convictions before exercising seizure rights. (Some of the seized assets must eventually be returned to private-party victims, but news reports abound of suddenly enriched police departments and other agencies being “gifted” with brand-new cars and other assets acquired from suspects never convicted of crimes.)

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If you want to drop off toys for needy kids during the holidays, there are dozens of locations—including A Bar Named Sue and the Blue Boutique. This year, the Utah Republican Party is stepping up. They’re requesting new, unwrapped toys for girls and boys up to age 12 through Dec. 18. They also need donations for teens age 13-16. 117 E. South Temple, 801-879-6136, Monday-Friday, 9 a.m.-5 p.m. For more information, contact, Cindie Quintana, cquintana@utgop.org. For more Toys for Tots locations, visit ToysForTots.org

HOMELESS PERSON’S VIGIL

As of press time, the Fourth Street Clinic reports that 91 homeless people have died in the Salt Lake City area this year. The Homeless Person’s Memorial & Candlelight Vigil aims to remember the homeless who have died but also to bring light to the ways of helping. In short: Remember, Reflect, Reduce. Speakers at the The Homeless Persons Memorial & Candlelight Vigil include Gov. Gary Herbert as well as homeless advocates Pamela Atkinson, Rachel Santizo and musician Alex Boye. Northeast corner of Pioneer Park, Thursday, Dec. 17, 6-6:30 p.m. For more information, visit: on.fb.me/1QGZhhT

BENEFIT RUN

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9. Red Han Solo cups 8. Queen Imodium-adala 7. Obi-Wan Perogies 6. Hidden Valley Alderaanch 5. Skoal’s Chewbacco 4. 5-Hour Energy Shot First 3. Sarlaac Pitted Cherries 2. Schlitz Darth Malt Liquor 1. C-3POlive oil

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Forget all those ugly Christmas sweater parties—go for the gold: the fourth annual Santa Hat Dash + Reindeer Run to benefit the Road Home. Go the extra mile and create an amazing costume to run in. Then bring along warm clothing, blankets and toiletries for the Road Home Shelter. Registration includes a race number, Santa hat, donation to the Road Home, and all-you-can-drink hot chocolate. More info at this website: bit.ly/1HYSi2q Sugar House Park, 1330 E. 2100 South, Saturday, Dec. 19, 9 a.m., check-in at Big Field Pavilion; 10 a.m., start; adults, 13 years & up, $22.09.

SOLSTICE CELEBRATIONS

Near or far, you can celebrate the Winter Solstice in the Great Basin Desert or in Salt Lake City. Winter Solstice heralds the gradual return of the light after the shortest and darkest day of the year. Bring your kids to Red Butte Garden’s Children’s Garden and create solstice head wreaths, winter candles and more. Red Butte Garden, 300 S. Wakara Way, Saturday, Dec. 19, 10 a.m.-2 p.m. n Or travel the back roads to Nancy Holt’s Sun Tunnels, 22-ton concrete pipes that align with the setting and rising solstice sun. Sun Tunnels, located near the Utah/ Nevada line about 45 miles north of Wendover, Tuesday, Dec. 22. Directions at Utah.com/wendover/sun-tunnels

—BY KATHARINE BIELE Send events two weeks in advance to editor@cityweekly.net.

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ESSENTIALS

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FRIDAY 12.18

Mummies of the World: The Exhibition

Dark Christmas Film Festival

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The holiday spirit moves us all in different ways. For many, it’s a delightful time, full of lights, merriment and that warm fuzzy glow that comes from giving—and there’s plenty of entertainment to feed traditional sensibilities. For others, however, their notion of seasonally appropriate fare runs more to Gremlins than Miracle on 34th Street, films that reflect a slightly less idealized—or perhaps even just plain dark—notion of Christmastime. Those who lean toward the somber can enjoy a showcase of work created by local talent, all designed around grim, bleakly comic or otherwise saccharine-free views of the holiday season. The Dark Christmas Film Festival—produced by Filmulate, a local organization that has created several genre-themed short film festivals, including the Home Town Tales documentary fest, and Demon Chaser horror films for Halloween—is scheduled to feature 14 brand-new short films by Utah filmmakers, with a $500 prize for the winning entry. There may even be a guest appearance by Krampus, that dark creature who teaches the boys and girls on “the naughty list” a lesson. Ticket proceeds from the evening will go to benefit CreateReelChange.org, a nonprofit that specializes in helping people with mental health issues—including veterans, refugees, people in recovery and the homeless—express themselves through film. All you need to do is embrace that part of yourself that smiles a little bit at the idea of Santa getting stuck in the chimney. (Scott Renshaw) Dark Christmas Film Festival @ Broadway Centre Cinemas, 111 E. 300 South, 801-321-0310, Dec. 21, 7 p.m., $12. Filmulate.com

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Return of the mummies: It sounds like a movie thriller. But the reality is more fascinating than fiction, and the “sequel” to one of The Leonardo’s most popular exhibitions assembles a new cast of characters, with new galleries and unique narratives. The return of Mummies of the World to Salt Lake City is one of the most eagerly awaited exhibits of the year. The new selection investigates the connections between mummies, science and medicine, and it includes the Burns Collection, an assemblage of mummies used for medical education in the 19th century. It’s an insight into the early days of the teaching of medicine as we know it. Another highlight of the show is MUMAB, an example of ancient mummification techniques applied to a man who passed away in recent decades and donated his body to science. This specimen has been used as a benchmark to compare to ancient mummies and study mummification methods firsthand. What makes this such a fascinating experience is that, as you unwrap the secrets of these individuals and artifacts, you find insights into their lives and histories. This second visit of the traveling exhibit, the most successful museum touring exhibition in the United States, showcases the more scientific aspects of mummification, and what we have learned from those processes. Viewers learn about commonalities they share with people who lived thousands of years ago. It’s a mirror into ourselves. (Brian Staker) Mummies of the World: The Exhibition @ The Leonardo, 209 E. 500 South, 801-531-9800, Dec. 18-March 6, 2016, Saturday-Thursday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Friday, 10 a.m.-10 p.m.; $5-$22.50. TheLeonardo.org

MONDAY 12.21

Like many teens, Clara is bored by her parents’ holiday party. She doesn’t want to play with the other kids. She’d rather just sit on the couch and play on her smartphone—which is exactly what she’s doing during the opening scene of Odyssey Dance Theatre’s ReduxNut-Cracker, a modern retelling of the holiday classic, the Nutcracker. Odyssey Dance puts a twist on just about every aspect of the ballet. Tchaikovsky’s original score is remixed with a hip-hop beat. The ballet steps are spruced up with jazz and hip-hop. And the story, while familiar, has one big alteration: There’s no Nutcracker and no prince. In place of the prince is that smartphone, acting as Clara’s guide into the magical realm of the Nutcracker. When Uncle Drosselmeyer discovers the phone is Clara’s object of obsession, he steals it just long enough to make a few changes, then drops it back into his niece’s lap. When Clara returns to swiping and texting, strange things happen: Her house drops away, and she enters an alternate reality where she’s visited by giant evil mice dressed as ‘90s gangsters. She vanquishes the Mouse King with her phone. Each new press of a button transports Clara to a different place. Though she never makes it to the palace of the Sugar Plum Fairy, modern Clara is transported to different realms, where she sees dances from around the world—variations on the original Chinese, Arabian, Spanish and Russian dances. (Katherine Pioli) Odyssey Dance Theatre: ReduxNut-Cracker @ Kingsbury Hall, 1395 E. Presidents Circle, 801-581-7100, Dec. 16-23, 7:30 p.m.; Dec 19, 2 p.m., $20-$40. KingsburyHall.Utah.edu

After roughly a year of retooling and a sporadic production schedule, Sketch Cabaret had come under new management and returned to the Salt Lake City art scene over the past few months with a flurry of creativity. These cabaret showcases highlight models and performers who come out to thrill the crowd with an evening of eclectic entertainment that’s centered around a theme. While the show is going on, artists are allowed to come into the venue with whatever artistic tools they may choose to bring—perhaps to sketch the performers onstage or create original works as the show is happening. Over the years, Sketch Cabaret has invited an array of talent, from professional costume and makeup designers to belly dancers and aerial artists—all drawn, painted, charcoaled, etched and graphically designed throughout the night by artists ranging from college students to luminaries in the local art scene. This month, the cabaret’s theme is “Duality.” The lineup is kept secret until shortly before the evening’s kick-off, but there will be three figuredrawing stations with models posing for one to 20 minutes. Meanwhile, live music and performance art are happening all around The Metro for five hours. If you want to see something outside the mainstream of local nightlife, this is a show worth attending. More importantly, if you’re an artist looking for inspiration, here’s an amazing to get subjects you’re not normally used to sketching. (Gavin Sheehan) Sketch Cabaret @ The Metro, 615 W. 100 South, 801-520-6067, Dec. 18, 9 p.m.-2 a.m., $15 general/artist, $10 student, 21+ only. Facebook.com/SketchCabaret

Sketch Cabaret

FRIDAY 12.18

Odyssey Dance Theatre: ReduxNut-Cracker

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THURSDAY 12.16

ENTERTAINMENT PICKS DEC. 16-23, 2015

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TRAVEL

O Christmas Towns

If the North Pole is too far, visit these festive places. BY GEOFF GRIFFIN & KATHLEEN CURRY @travelbrigade comments@cityweekly.net

here are places in the American West where the goal of Christmas is not just to make things merry and bright, but also to turn the entire month of December into an unforgettable celebration. Several of them are just a short flight or drive away. Check out these towns that are some of the merriest spots to be found anywhere south of the North Pole. Grapevine, Texas (2.5-hour flight to Dallas/ Fort Worth): Everything’s bigger in Texas— even Christmas. When it comes to Grapevine (GrapevineTexasUSA.com), which bears the official title of “The Christmas Capital of Texas,” they do the holiday in a big way. One centerpiece of the celebration, just outside Dallas, is the downtown Main Street, with a classic Christmas parade, throwback charm, decorations everywhere and loads of independent shops such as Dr. Sue’s Chocolate (DrSueChocolate.com). Unlike Dr. Dre, Dr. Sue really is a medical doctor who believes that dark chocolate—stripped of all the sugar, gluten and preservatives—is actually good for you. Follow the doctor’s orders! You can also watch classic holiday movies in the town theater, and if you brought the kids, make sure to take the North Pole Express. It’s a ride on Grapevine’s vintage Victorian rail coaches that travel to visit Santa. How do they get from Texas to the North Pole in just 30 minutes? Santa’s magic, of course! Another must-see in the area is the Gaylord Texan Resort (Marriott.com) and the “ICE!” exhibit. The Lone Star Christmas at the Gaylord starts with a gigantic atrium in the center of the hotel filled with festive, handmade decorations and a calendar of activities, like gingerbread-house-making and The Elf on the Shelf scavenger hunt. Step out of the moderate Texas temperatures and into “ICE!” where the whole area is chilled down to 9 degrees Fahrenheit. It’s that cold because all of the incredible sculptures, slides and structures are made of ice and carved by artists who come from as far away as northern China to create these masterpieces. Newport Beach, Calif. (2-hour flight to Santa Ana, Calif./11-hour drive): Who says surf and Santa can’t mix? The Newport Beach Christmas Boat Parade (ChristmasBoatParade. com) has been running annually since 1907 and currently features a run of five straight nights each year as decked-out boats tour the bay side of the Balboa Peninsula to an audience that numbers 1 million each year by the time it’s all done.

What’s even cooler is that you can actually be in the parade by hopping aboard one of Newport’s own Davy’s Locker Holiday Lights Cruises where your ride is part of the parade line. You’ll not only get to see boats lit up on the water, but also get a look at the decorated waterfront mansions surrounding the bay.

For a closer look, hop the ferry from the peninsula over to Balboa Island and take the Holiday Home Walking Tour (VisitNewportBeach.com) that lets you see 12 island homes and cottages with over-the-top decorations to put you in a festive mood. Phoenix/Scottsdale, Ariz. (1.5-hour flight to Phoenix/10-hour drive): Christmas in the Arizona “winter”—Baby, it’s warm outside!— can be enjoyed at the Fairmont Scottsdale Princess (Fairmont.com/Scottsdale). Guests at the resort, as well as the public, can stop by for outdoor ice skating, a Christmas carousel, cooking s’mores over an open fire, a petting zoo and a train ride to tour the resort’s lagoon with over 2.8 million lights on display. Don’t forget to stop by the Enchanted Plaza, with a musical tree and animated light show. While you’re at the resort, make time to dine at one of their award-winning restaurants. Toro Latin Restaurant and Rum Bar is the latest addition to the collection.

Main Street in Grapevine, Texas, above; The Gaylord Texan Resort, below left

Scottsdale also held its first ever “World’s Best Sand-Sculpting Championship” (ExperienceScottsdale.com) at Talking Stick Resort this year—because that’s the sort of thing you can do in the desert in December. Las Noches de Las Luminarias is- Spanish for “walking through the Desert Botanical Garden (DBG.org) at night and seeing cacti and other Southwestern fauna lit up by over 8,000 traditional hand-lit luminaries while drinking warm cider and listening to live Mariachi bands”—roughly translated, of course. Ogden, Utah (45-minute drive from downtown Salt Lake City): If you don’t have the time to travel far, just take a short drive on Interstate-15 and find yourself in Santa’s Village—aka downtown Ogden during December. Ogden’s Christmas Village (OgdenCity.com) regularly makes it onto “Top 10 Christmas Destinations” lists from across the country thanks to a light parade opening ceremony that includes fireworks and over 60 cottages that are lit to create a magical winter-night experience. Besides cottages such as Santa’s Castle, Kris Kringle’s Cupcakery and the Ornament Factory, there’s shopping, entertainment and a train ride through a tunnel decorated in glow-in-the-dark paint. Christmas comes once a year, but it can definitely be celebrated in more than one place. CW

Kathleen Curry and Geoff Griffin trek around the globe near and far and host the Travel Brigade Radio Show and Podcast. You can find them at TravelBrigade.com and on Twitter @ TravelBrigade. Enjoy the Trip!

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DECEMBER 17, 2015 | 17

moreESSENTIALS

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TUESDAY 12.22

Bugs Bunny at the Symphony II For those of us who grew up watching Looney Tunes, the adventures of Bugs Bunny, Elmer Fudd, Daffy Duck and company were more than just hilarious animated shorts full of visual imagination and colorful characters. They also introduced many of us to classical music, employing beautiful orchestral and operatic works to brilliant comedic effect in Chuck Jones’ masterpieces like The Rabbit of Seville and What’s Opera, Doc? Back in 1990, conductor George Daugherty and David Ka Lik Wong brought some of these classic cartoons to live audiences with live symphonic accompaniment for Bugs Bunny on Broadway. Over the subsequent 25 years, the show has gone from New York to a touring production, now in its revised Bugs Bunny at the Symphony II incarnation. Daugherty conducts the Utah Symphony for a twonight run that plays the aforementioned Rabbit of Seville and What’s Opera, Doc?, as well several other vintage cartoons featuring Daffy Duck, the Road Runner and Wile E. Coyote and all your Looney Tunes favorites, giving them a new jolt of energetic fun. (Scott Renshaw) Utah Symphony: Bugs Bunny at the Symphony II @ Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple, 801-355-2787, Dec. 22 & 23, 7 p.m., $18-$78. UtahSymphony.org

PERFORMANCE

18 | DECEMBER 17, 2015

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Art Dog Salt Lake Acting Co., 168 W. 500 North, 801-363-7522, Dec. 18, 7 p.m.; Dec. 19-23, 10 a.m., noon & 3 p.m.; SaltLakeActingCompany.org Babes in Toyland CenterPoint Legacy Theatre, Barlow Main Stage, 525 N. 400 West, Centerville, 801-298-1302, through Dec. 17, MondaySaturday, 7:30 p.m., CenterPointTheatre.org A Christmas Carol Hale Centre Theatre, 3333 S. Decker Lake Drive, West Valley City, 801-984-9000, through Dec. 24, HCT.org A Christmas Carol Hale Center Theater Orem, 225 W. 400 North, 801-226-8600, through Dec. 23, see website for times, HaleTheater.org Ebenezer Scrooge & His Nightmare Before Christmas Desert Star Playhouse, 4861 S. State, 801-266-2600, through Jan. 2, MondaySaturday, 6 p.m. & 8:30 p.m.; Saturday matinees, 11:30 p.m. & 2:30 p.m.; DesertStar.biz A Fairly Potter Christmas Carol The Ziegfeld Theater, 3934 S. Washington Blvd. Ogden, 855944-2787, through Dec. 23, Friday, Saturday & Monday plus Dec. 22-23, 7:30 p.m., Saturday matinees 2 p.m., TheZiegfeldTheater.com The Best Christmas Pageant Ever CenterPoint Legacy Theater, Leishman Performance Hall, through Dec. 19, 525 N. 400 West, Centerville, 801-298-1302, Monday, Thursday & Friday, 7 p.m., CenterPointTheatre.org The Dickens Christmas Carol Show Sugar Factory Playhouse, Midvale Performing Arts Center, 695 W. Center St., Midvale, 801-284-1242, through Dec. 19, Friday, Saturday & Tuesday, 7:30 p.m.; matinee Saturday, Dec. 12, 3:30 p.m.; SugarFactoryPlayhouse.com Forever Plaid: Plaid Tidings Empress Theatre, 9104 W. 2700 South, Magna, through Dec. 19, Monday, Friday & Saturday, 7:30 p.m., EmpressTheatre.com Grouch Who Stole Christmas The Off Broadway Theater, 272 South Main, 801-355-4628, through Dec. 26, Monday, Friday & Saturday, 7:30 p.m., TheOBT.org It Happened One Christmas Pioneer Theatre Co., 300 S. 1400 East, 801-581-6961, Dec. 4-19, Monday-Thursday, 7:30 p.m.; Friday-Saturday, 8

p.m.; Saturday, 2 p.m., PioneerTheatre.org It’s a Wonderful Life: The Musical SCERA Center for the Arts, 745 S. State, Orem, 801-2252787, through Dec. 19, except Tuesday & Sunday, 7:30 p.m., SCERA.org

DANCE

Ballet West: The Nutcracker Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 200 South, 801-355-2787, through Dec. 27, 7 p.m. except Dec. 20, 25, 27; performance 5 p.m., Dec. 20; matinee 2 p.m., Dec. 22, 23, 26; matinee noon, Dec. 20, 24, 27. BalletWest.org Imagine Ballet Theatre: The Nutcracker Peerys Egyptian Theater, 2415 Washington Blvd., 801-689-8700, Dec. 17 & 18, 7: 30 p.m.; Dec. 19, noon; EgyptianTheaterOgden.com Odyssey Dance: ReduxNut-Cracker Kingsbury Hall, 1395 Presidents Circle, 801-581-7100, through Dec. 23, 7:30 p.m., OdysseyDance.com, see Essentials, p. 15

CLASSICAL & SYMPHONY

Bugs Bunny at the Symphony Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple, 801-533-6683, Dec. 22-23, 7 p.m., UtahSymphony.org Davis County Symphony Messiah SingAlong Center Street LDS Cultural Hall, 261 E. Center St., 801-200-7902, Dec. 18, 7 p.m., DavisCountySymphony.org Here Comes Santa Claus Utah Symphony, Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple, 801355-2787, Dec. 19, 11 a.m. & 12:30 p.m., UtahSymphony.org Utah Symphony: Home Alone Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple, 801-355-2787, Dec. 18, 7:30 p.m., UtahSymphony.org WorldStage! Winter Concert Series Utah Cultural Celebration Center, 1355 W. 3100 South, West Valley City, 801-965-5100, Dec. 21; 7 p.m., CulturalCelebration.org

COMEDY & IMPROV

Comedy Open Mic Sandy Station, 8925 S. Harrison St., Sandy, 801-255-2078, Sunday, Dec. 20, 8 p.m., SandyStation.com Greg Warren Wiseguys Downtown, 194 S. 400 West, 801-532-5233, Dec. 17, 7:30 p.m.; Dec. 18 & 19, 7:30 p.m. & 9:30 p.m.; WiseguysComedy.com

moreESSENTIALS SLUG Localized: Comedy Standup Night Urban Lounge, 241 S. 500 East, 801-746-0557, Dec. 17, 8 p.m., TheUrbanLoungeSLC.com Todd Johnson Wiseguys Ogden, 269 25th St., 801-622-5588, Dec. 18 & 19, 8 p.m., WiseGuysComedy.com

LITERATURE AUTHOR APPEARANCES

Angie McArthur: Collaborative Intelligence: Thinking With People Who Think Differently Deer Crest Club St. Regis Deer Valley, 2300 Deer Valley Drive, Park City, 435-649-8882, Dec. 21, 6 p.m., KimballArtCenter.org Benjamin Fox & Elizabeth Robbins: The Great & the Grand The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, 801-484-9100, Dec. 19, 2-4 p.m., KingsEnglish.com Janelle Evans: Rory’s Choice: Consequences Nigh-Time Donuts, 299 N. Main, Tooele, Dec. 19, 10 a.m. Katie Mullaly: Land of AND Weller Book Works, 607 Trolley Square, 801-328-2586, Dec. 19, 2 p.m., WellerBookWorks.com

SPECIAL EVENTS FESTIVALS & FAIRS

SEASONAL EVENTS

Christmas Village Municipal Gardens, 25th St. Grant Ave., Ogden, 801-399-4357, through Jan. 1, OgdenCity.com The Great Christmas Adventure Gardner Village, 1100 W. 7800 South, West Jordan, through Dec. 23, Monday-Saturday, 5:30 p.m.-10 p.m., GardnerVillage.com Holiday Shopping Bazaar The Shared Space, 210 E. 400 South, 801-524-8200, Dec. 8-20, noon-4 p.m., SLCPL.org

VISUAL ART ART HAPPENINGS

Sketch Cabaret The Metro, 615 W. 100 South, 21 and over, Dec. 18, 9 p.m.-2 a.m., Facebook.com/ SketchCabaret, see Essentials, p. 15

GALLERIES & MUSEUMS

CHECK OUT MORE PHOTOS AT CITYWEEKLY.NET/PHOTOS

1 2 . 1 2 C H R I STMA S A R T A D O P TI O N

UPCOMING EVENTS:

EVE

WINTERFEST AT THE SALT PALACE CONVENTION CENTER

DECEMBER 29,30 & 31

| CITY WEEKLY |

DECEMBER 17, 2015 | 19

24 Hours in China: Photography from the China Overseas Exchange Association, Part One Main Library, 210 E. 400 South, 801-524-8200, through Jan. 10, 9 a.m.-9 p.m. Benjamin Gaulon: Corrupt.Yourself Utah Museum of Contemporary Art, 20 S. West Temple, 801-328-4201, through Jan. 16, UtahMoca.org Brian Bress: Make Your Own Friends Utah Museum of Fine Arts, 410 Campus Center Drive, 801-581-7332, through Jan. 10, UMFA.Utah.edu Brian Christensen: RECONFIGURE CUAC, 175 E. 200 South, 385-215-6768, through Feb. 7; CUArtCenter.org Cheryl Sandoval: Steps from the Reservation Mestizo Institute of Culture & Arts, 631 W. North Temple, Suite 700, 801-596-0500, through Jan. 9, MestizoArts.org Colors of the Season Art at the Main, 210 E. 400 South, 801-363-4088, through Jan. 10, ArtAtTheMain.com The Letter That You’re Writing CUAC, 175 E. 200 South, 385-215-6768, through Jan. 9, CUArtCenter.org Enter a Tiny World: Miniature Scenes by Gail Clingenpeel Chapman Branch, 900 W. 577 South, 801-594-8623, Dec. 1-21, 11 a.m.-8 p.m., SLCPL.org Firelei Baez: Patterns of Resistance Utah Museum of Contemporary Art, 20 S. West Temple, 801-328-4201, through Jan. 16, UtahMOCE.org From the Collection of Thomas M. Alder Charley Hafen Gallery, 1409 S. 900 East, 801521-7711, through Jan. 9, CharleyHafen.com Glass Art Guild of Utah Show Red Butte Garden, 300 Wakara Way, 801-585-0556, through Dec. 20, 9 a.m.-5 p.m., GlassArtGuild.org Holiday Group Exhibition Slusser Gallery, 447 E. 100 South, 801-532-1956, through Jan. 8, MarkSlusser.com Inside: Out: solo exhibition by Lindsay Frei Alice Gallery, 617 East S. Temple, through Jan. 16, VisualArts.Utah.gov Jean Richardson: Every Now & Then I Fall Apart Utah Museum of Contemporary Art, 20 S. West Temple, 801-328-4201, through Dec. 19, UtahMOCA.org Kate Ericson & Mel Ziegler: Grandma’s Cupboard Utah Museum of Contemporary Art, 20 S. West Temple, 801-328-4201, through Dec.19, UtahMOCA.org Mark Thomas Palfreyman: Little Monsters: Scientific Illustrations Sprague Branch, 2131 S. 1100 East, 801-594-8640, through Jan. 18, SLCPL.org

Christmas in Color Ed Mayne St./Oquirrh Park, 5624 S. Cougar Lane, Kearns, through Jan. 2, Monday-Saturday, ChristmasInColor.net DecemberFest The Canyons, 4000 Canyons Resort Drive, Park City, 800-222-7275, Dec. 19-Jan. 3, ParkCityMountain.com Dickens’ Christmas Ball Viridian Center, 8030 S. 1825 West, West Jordan, 801-948-7858, Dec. 17, 7-10 p.m., ViridianCenter.org Ice Sculpture Water Tower Plaza, 3003 N. Thanksgiving Way, Lehi, 801-768-2300, Dec. 11, 14, 18, 21, 6:3-7:30 p.m., ThanksgivingPoint.org Kurt Bestor Egyptian Theatre, 328 Main, 435-649-9371, Dec. 23-25, 8 p.m., EgyptianTheatreCompany.org Lark & Spur: Christmas Carols Covey Center for the Arts, 425 W. Center St., 801-852-7007, Dec. 22, 7:30 p.m., CoveyCenter.org Park City Holiday Spectacular & Sing-Along Egyptian Theatre, 328 Main, 435-649-9371, Dec. 18-20, 8 p.m., EgyptianTheatreCompany.org Salt Lake Choral Artists Christmas Concert Libby Gardner Hall, 1395 E. Presidents Circle, 801-581-7100, Dec. 19, 2 p.m. & 7:30 p.m., SaltLakeChoralArtists.org Santa’s Reindeer Thanksgiving Point, 3003 N. Thanksgiving Way, Lehi, through Dec. 23, MondaySaturday, 12 p.m.-10 p.m., ThanksgivingPoint.com Shannon Corey: Holiday Piano Performance Our Lady of the Snows Center, 10189 E. Highway 210, Alta, 801-742-9712, Dec. 22, 6:30 p.m.-8:30 p.m., AltaArts.org Winter Nights Natural History Museum of Utah, 301 Wakara Way, 801-581-4303, Dec. 23, 5-9 p.m., NHMU.Utah.edu Winter Solstice Celebration Red Butte Garden, 300 Wakara Way, 801-585-0556, Dec. 19, 10 a.m.-2 p.m., RedButteGarden.org ZooLights Hogle Zoo, 2600 E. Sunnyside Ave., through Dec. 31, HogleZoo.com

WINTER MARKETS

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Taste of Peru Gastronomic Fair Westminster College, 1840 S. 1300 East, 801-832-2200, Dec. 19, 11 a.m.-8 p.m., LatinoArtsFoundation.org

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t’s that time of the year once again, when we scramble to find the perfect holiday gifts for friends and family. However, if any of your loved ones happen to enjoy spending time in the kitchen, you’re in luck, because there’s a nearly never-ending supply of gifts and gadgets for cooks in every price range. Here are a few of my favorites this season. “Real” cooks rarely admit to using a microwave oven, and I don’t know any who don’t own one. But I use mine for reheating leftovers—and, inevitably, some of those leftovers wind up splattered on the walls of the microwave when I’m nuking them. That’s when I turn to my AngryMama. NewMetro Design’s Angry-Mama Microwave Cleaner 1 ($14.99) is simple, but ingenious. It’s a small, plastic device— made to look like a retro mom—that steamcleans the crud from your microwave with water and vinegar in seven minutes. Don’t get mad at your microwave; get even. No cook can get very far in the kitchen without at least a couple of high-quality knives. And—although I have a large selection of kitchen knives, ranging from bread and sushi knives to cleavers—the knives I turn to for 95 percent of my chopping, mincing, slicing, dicing and cutting are a chef’s knife and a paring knife. That makes the Wüsthof Classic Ikon Two-Piece Extra Wide Chef’s Set 2 ($199) a great gift. I use the paring knife for mincing, peeling and slicing small objects like garlic cloves and shallots, while the chef’s knife has an extra broad blade handle for stability and precision. I couldn’t cook without them.

When I lived in Spain, I remember enjoying seafood dishes in restaurants served in a cataplana. It wasn’t until later that I discovered cataplanas are a type of cookware most popular in Portugal, where they originated. A cataplana is traditionally made of copper, and it’s probably no coincidence that it’s clam-shaped, since it’s perfect for steaming clams, mussels and other shellfish. The vessel serves both as cookware and as tableware; it can go from the stove or oven straight to the table, and provides an interesting and attractive looking serving pan. Sur la Table3 sells cataplanas in two sizes: 8 1/4-inch and 12-inch, priced at $60 and $100, respectively. They’re made in Portugal from hand-hammered copper, and can be used either in the oven or on the stovetop. There’s a chubby guy dressed like a chef who’s been hanging around my kitchen lately. Nope, he’s not a stalker, or a disgruntled cook whose restaurant I slammed. He’s called “Claude,” and he’s a useful and good-looking kitchen companion. Australian cookware company Make My Day’s Claude4 ($35) is sculpted to look like a classic toque-wearing chef and designed to prop up or hold cookbooks, iPads and other tablets. I find him extremely useful as I increasingly use my tablet, rather than cookbooks, in the kitchen to look up recipes. Of course, you don’t have to use Claude in such a functional manner. You could just have him hold onto your tablet while you watch Iron Chef or Duck Dynasty as you’re prepping your evening meal. Another indispensible weapon in any kitchen arsenal is a fast and accurate cooking thermometer. In my opinion—and that of many professional chefs—one of the best on the market is the Classic Thermapen ($79), made by Utah’s own American Forkbased ThermoWorks (ThermoWorks.com). Each Thermapen is tested at the factory and guaranteed to be accurate within 0.7 degrees Fahrenheit. They are water-resistant, have a battery life of 1,500 hours and provide nearly instant, three-second readings. For an additional $20, the new Thermapen Mk45 ($99) offers a 3,000-hour battery life, auto-rotating display, intelligent backlight, motion-sensing sleep and wake mode, and it comes in 10 colors. My son, Hank, has always loved sushi, but

wasn’t too proficient with chopsticks when he was younger. The solution is a terrific stocking stuffer called Chimpsticks6 ($6.99) made by Fred & Friends. These are washable silicone chopsticks, attached at the top with a hinged rubber chimp, making it simple for little ones (and adults, too) to snag sushi. I love the slow, moist cooking technique called braising, and by far the best braiser I’ve ever owned is the Anolon Vesta Cast Iron 5-Quart Covered Braiser 7 ($129.99). The good looks of the Anolon braiser make it a perfect candidate for stove-or-oven-totable use. It’s got a stain-resistant matte black enamel interior that makes for easy searing and browning. The braiser also features an attractive and sturdy porcelain enamel exterior, and its self-basting lid sports an elegant stainless-steel handle. It’s broiler-safe and perfect for everything from coq au vin and beef daube to Moroccan tagine dishes and even Southern-style dateand-pecan pudding. The Anolon braiser also includes a limited lifetime warranty. But maybe the best gift for the cook in your life is to get him/her out of the kitchen—perhaps for a New Year’s Eve bash or for Christmas dinner. Zucca (225 25th St., Ogden, 801-475-7077, MyZucca.com) is offering both dinner on Christmas Eve and a 7-course gourmet celebration dinner and party on New Year’s Eve, while Spencer’s (255 S. West Temple, Salt Lake City, 801-238-4748, SpencersForSteaksAndChops.com) will be open both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day for lunch and dinner featuring a prix fixe chef’s prime rib special (16-ounce for $63; 22-ounce for $76). Maybe the best New Year’s Eve dining bargain will be at Boulevard Bistro (1414 S. Foothill Drive, Salt Lake City, 801-953-1270, BoulevardBistroFoothill.com), where a four-course New Year’s Eve dinner will be offered for $50 per person. The dinner includes roasted garlic and goat cheese croquettes; baby spinach salad with berries, blue cheese, caramelized shallots and balsamic vinaigrette; an entree choice of filet mignon with herb-roasted potatoes or cashewcrusted halibut over basil-infused couscous with mango-pineapple chutney; and dessert of spiced cake with cream cheese frosting. Happy Holidays! CW

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Perhaps you’re looking at that header and thinking escargot. Nope. The Snail Awards are the way Slow Food Utah (SlowFoodUtah.org) recognizes “ardent supporters and promoters of local, sustainably produced food.” The recipients of the Snail Awards for 2015, which were presented at Slow Foods’ 11th annual Feast of the Five Senses gala, are farmer/producer Pete Rasmussen of organic, small-scale Sandhill Farms in Eden, Utah; chef/owner Adam Kreisel of Salt Lake City’s Chaia Cucina (“life-giving kitchen”), a culinary catering and consulting business; and John and Casee Francis, owners of Salt Lake City-based Amour Spreads, which makes jams and jellies from fresh, local ingredients using artisanal, traditional methods.

Yippee Ki-Yay!

In celebration of Repeal Day (Dec. 5), Utah’s first legal distillery since 1870, High West Distillery (HighWest.com), has released a limited-edition whiskey called Yippee Ki-Yay. Utah was the 36th state that voted to repeal prohibition, and with that, put the 21st Amendment over the 3/4 margin required for alcohol to become legal. In tandem, both High West locations—Park City and Wanship—launched winter menus with special Repeal Day desserts and cocktails. They put their award-winning Double Rye into oak barrels that were originally used to age Syrah and Vermouth. “This unique blend was created from a combination of serendipity and fun experimentation,” High West proprietor David Perkins said. “Yippee Ki-Yay is absolutely delicious, with cinnamon and herbal flavors from the vermouth barrels combined with fresh blackberries from the Syrah barrels.”

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Chances are you’ve seen SuAn Chow’s colorful Chow Truck around town at special events, concerts and such. And, you may even have noshed on Chow Truck’s unique sliders, tacos, calamari and salads. Well, SuAn—a pioneer of Utah’s now-thriving food-truck movement—has decided to move on from the food-truck scene. But not to worry: The Chow Truck is in very good hands. Local chef and caterer J. Looney has purchased the Chow Truck and plans to continue the tradition of culinary innovation and excellence that SuAn brought to the local food scene. Find the truck’s location at ChowTruck.com, or on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. Quote of the week: Canapés—a sandwich cut into 24 pieces. –Billy Rose Food Matters 411: teds@xmission.com

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24 | DECEMBER 17, 2015

BEER, WINE & SPIRITS

Bargain Bubbly

Make your New Year’s Eve sparkle without breaking the bank. BY TED SCHEFFLER comments@cityweekly.net @critic1

f you read this column frequently, you might know that my favorite Champagne is Salon Blanc de Blancs Le Mesnil Cuvée “S.” However, that’s an unfortunate choice because a bottle of Salon sells for around $470. It’s a Champagne I certainly won’t be serving or sipping this New Year’s Eve, unless a very generous benefactor comes my way in the next week or so. However, you don’t have to break the bank to drink bodacious bubbly on New Year’s Eve, or any other time for that matter. There are plenty of excellent sparkling wines that are modestly priced and will help make your evening pop. Here are a few of my faves.

I think pink bubbly is especially festive and a good choice for celebrating New Year’s Eve. One of my very favorite bottles is Gloria Ferrer Blanc de Noirs ($18.99), from Sonoma. It’s made from vibrant, hand-harvested Pinot Noir, along with a small amount of Vin Gris, which gives this sparkler its creaminess and rosy tint. It’s a terrific, easy-drinking party wine, with hints of strawberry and black cherry, and a touch of marzipan on the palate. I also like Rotari Brut Rosé ($13.99), a pink-hued, fragrant and elegant sparkling wine born in the Dolomites of Italy. It’s made with hand-grown and hand-harvested Pinot Noir and Chardonnay grapes from the hills of Trentino, and it has a bouquet of strawberries and currants with hints of yeast on the palate. It serves as a very nice aperitif and pairs well with fish and seafood. Here’s a fun little test for your New Year’s guests: Pour them a glass of Gruet Brut ($16.99) and then ask them to wager a guess about where it came from. They will inevitably guess France, since this lovely sparkler tastes like French Champagne that sells for three to four times the price of Gruet. Then, tell them it comes from Albuquerque. Yep, it’s made in New Mexico, with roots originating in Gilbert Gruet’s Champagne house in Bethon, France. Gruet also produces a wonderful Brut Rosé ($18.99) and an equally appealing Blanc de Noirs ($16.99).

DRINK When thinking about sparkling wine, South Africa doesn’t usually spring to mind. However, I recently got to taste the outstanding, well-crafted Graham Beck Brut Rosé ($17) from South Africa’s Western Cape. It’s an amazing wine for the price, with cherry and raspberry fragrances, and more red berries to kiss the palate. Try it with oysters on the half shell. Napa Valley’s Domaine Chandon produces some of this country’s best sparkling wines and I’m especially fond of Chandon Blanc de Noirs ($20.99). An American pioneer of Blanc de Noirs-style wines, Chandon uses Pinot Noir, Chardonnay and Pinot Meunier to produce this one. It’s fruit-driven with mid-palate flavors of strawberry, cherry and currant, and it offers a creamy, soft texture. Think you can’t afford

to pour French bubbly for New Year’s Eve? Wrong. Made in the Loire, Marquis de la Tour Brut is a French sparkling wine that is bargain-priced at $11.99. It’s got crisp acidity which makes it especially food-friendly, with fresh green apple, peach and citrus notes. Anna de Codorniu Brut ($13.99) is an interesting sparkling wine from Spain, made with 70 percent Chardonnay and 30 percent Parellada grapes. The name Anna is an homage to the last Codorniu heiress to bear the family name. The Codorniu winery, by the way, dates back to 1551, and Anna de Codorniu lived in the 1600s. The aromas and flavors of this crisp, dry sparkler include apples, pineapple and pears, along with yeasty hints of baked brioche. Enjoy your New Year’s Eve, no matter which corks you choose to pop! CW

2015

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

OVER & OUT

DECEMBER 17, 2015 | 25

Arts & Entertainment Editor

| CITY WEEKLY |

Scott Renshaw

During the final weeks of December, two competing urges seem forever to be at war. There’s the desire to “nest”—to settle into your coziest spot at home as the days and nights get chilly and snowy, and brave the outdoors as little as possible. And then there’s the need to get out, as winter vacation makes the children stir-crazy, visiting relatives need entertaining and the urge to share the seasonal spirit with other human beings kicks in. City Weekly’s Holiday & New Year’s Eve Guide is here to help you break free of your inertia, and discover all the ways you can add a kick to the winter holiday experience. Deann Armes has gathered a list of displays, decorations and activities you can share with kids and company, from downtown to the mountain resorts. Pick one of the many local live theater, dance or music performances with a holiday flavor—or, better yet, pick more than one. Then make your New Year’s Eve plans, whether that might mean a night of dancing in a club, or enjoying the delights of the EVE SLC celebration. No matter your interests, there’s something with your name on it. So throw off those fuzzy slippers and put on your dancing shoes—or your snow boots, if that’s what’s needed to get you where you want to go. All those twinkling lights can light a spark in your joy this season, and warm you up just as much as that home nest.

2015:

THESE HOLIDAY PERFORMANCES WILL MAKE YOUR DAYS MERRY AND BRIGHT. By Scott Renshaw • scottr@cityweekly.net

he holidays mean different things to different people: stressful interactions with family; stressful trips to the mall; stressful wishes that radio stations would stop playing Paul McCartney’s “Wonderful Christmastime,” for the love of all that’s good and holy. But there are also plenty of joys, many connected to memories of stories, movies and performances that use the winter holidays as a backdrop. If Christmas is not quite complete for you without watching Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer or Miracle on 34th Street, you know what I’m talking about. This year, like every year, Utah stages are full of performers looking to get you into that perfect holiday spirit, whether by sharing tales you know by heart or introducing you to something brand-new but rich with the glow of the season. These are just some of the offerings for those who want to spend part of their holidays being entertained live and in person. The Sting & Honey Co. presents This Bird of Dawning Singeth All Night Long

STINGANDHONEY.ORG

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

| CITY WEEKLY |

26 | DECEMBER 17, 2015

GLAD TIDINGS Time Honored Traditions

Local theaters understand the timeless appeal of certain stories, offering productions that return annually. A Christmas Carol will delight audiences both in Utah County and the Salt Lake Valley, as Hale Center Theater Orem and Hale Centre Theatre in West Valley City feed our need to remember Charles Dickens’ account of Ebenezer Scrooge’s Christmas Eve conversion from coalhoarding and general humbugging. 3333 S. Decker Lake Drive, West Valley City, 801-984-9000, through Dec. 24, $16$35, HCT.org; 225 W. 400 North, Orem, 801-226-8600, through Dec. 23, $12-$22, HaleTheater.org n Also in Orem, SCERA presents a musical version of It’s a Wonderful Life, based on Frank Capra’s beloved 1946 film about a downtrodden man who learns from an apprentice angel how the world would have changed for the worse without him. 745 S. State, Orem, 801-2252787, through Dec. 19, $6-$12, SCERA.org. n For many Utah families, Christmastime isn’t complete without experiencing Ballet

West’s The Nutcracker. Now in its 60th year, the magnificent production, beguiling Tchaikovsky score and traditional choreography have made for an experience passed down through generations. Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 200 South, 801-355-2787, $19-$91, ArtTix.org

Back by Popular Demand

Some productions, though less familiar across generations, have taken root in recent years. The Sting & Honey Co. brings back its fascinating This Bird of Dawning Singeth All Night Long. It combines masked performers, beautiful choreography, music and readings of Nativity-themed poetry spanning Shakespeare to the modern day. Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 801355-2787, Dec. 18-19, $12, ArtTix.org n And while the old-school Nutcracker is perfect for some audiences, others might get a kick out of the return of Odyssey Dance Theatre’s off-beat ReduxNut-Cracker Kingsbury Hall, 1395 E. Presidents Circle, 801-581-7100, Dec. 16-23, $20-$40, http:// OdysseyDance.com

Something New & Different

Many of Utah’s most talented theater professionals are working on holidaythemed or family-friendly shows that may not be immediately familiar, but can offer plenty of entertainment. Pioneer Theatre Co. presents an original musical revue combining traditional Christmas carols, dramatic readings and the dynamic dancing of a talented cast—all in a story about trying to insure Christmas snow for Utah—in It Happened One Christmas. 300 S. 1400 East, 801-581-6961, through Dec. 19, $40-$62, PioneerTheatre.org n Salt Lake Acting Co. once again offers a kid-oriented holiday production with Art Dog, a stage adaptation of Thatcher Hurd’s picture book about an intrepid canine painter who tries to recover a stolen painting after he becomes a suspect. 168 W. 500 North, 801-363-7522, through Dec. 23, $16-$26, SaltLakeActingCompany.org

, Let s Laugh

If you need a laugh to dispel any seasonal doldrums, plenty of theatrical offerings are up to the task. The Pickleville

Playhouse and TJ Davis’s beloved local character Juanito Bandito put a twist on Dickens as the bumbling thief tries to steal Christmas in Juanito Bandito’s Christmas Carol. Grand Theatre, 1575 S. State, 801-957-3322, Dec. 17-21, $18-$28, PicklevillePlayhouse.com

n Ogden’s Ziegfeld Theater takes a holiday-themed swipe at the world of J.K. Rowling’s wizards—as well as other familiar Christmas stories from Dickens to Seuss—in the all-new musical presentation A Fairly Potter Christmas Carol. 3934 Washington Blvd., Ogden, 855-944-2787, through Dec. 23, $17-$20, TheZiegfeldTheater.com.

n The jolly folks at Desert Star Theatre serves up its silly version of A Christmas Carol in Ebenezer Scrooge and His Nightmare Before Christmas. 4861 S. State, Murray, 801-266-2600, through Jan. 2, $12.95-$22.95

n In Off Broadway Theatre’s The Grouch Who Stole Christmas, Dr. Seuss is mashed up and mingled with Sesame Street and plenty of classic holiday TV specials, to hilarious effect. 272 S. Main, 801-355-4628, through Dec. 26, $8-$16, TheOBT.org

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, TIS THE SEASON

Downtown, around town or just out of town, holiday hot spots abound. Ice skating at }the Gallivan Center

THEGALLIVANCENTER.COM

By Deann Armes•comments@cityweekly.net

his time of year can be so busy with shopping and preparations that fun often takes a back seat. In addition to your annual trip to Temple Square to see the lights, there’s an abundance of winter magic out there; you just need to make the time to enjoy something delightful. So, take a deep breath. We’ve hunted down the best holiday hot spots in Utah—and many of them are completely free of charge. Unless otherwise indicated, most activities are available through Jan. 1.

Ice Skating at Gallivan Center

Downtown Charm

Santa Claus at City Creek Center

Jingle Bus

The Jingle Bus is your holiday miracle. The free bus, twinkling with lights, offers lively narration as it circles your favorite downtown locations: The Gateway, Temple Square, City Creek Center, Gallivan Plaza and Capitol Theatre. It’s the perfect way to see the traditional lights on Temple Square—and, better yet, free of parking hassles. Various locations, downtown Salt Lake City, through Dec. 28, 5-10 p.m., free, DowntownSLC.org

This outdoor ice skating rink in the heart of downtown is one of the most popular holiday pastimes for couples, friends and families. Gallivan Center, 239 S. Main, Salt Lake City, 801-535-6110, open now through the end of February: Monday-Thursday, noon -9 p.m.; Friday & Saturday, noon -12 a.m.; Sunday, noon -7 p.m.; $8 adults, $7 children, TheGallivanCenter.com

Hop off the Jingle Bus at City Creek Center for a visit with Santa. Check out the huge Christmas tree and holiday fire fountain show while you’re there. City Creek Center, 50 S. Main, Salt Lake City, 801-521-2012, through Dec. 24, Monday-Saturday, 10 a.m. -9 p.m., free, ShopCityCreekCenter.com/holidays

Macy,s Candy Window Displays

This year’s theme is the Peanuts gang. Visitors of all ages will delight in these one-of-a-kind displays—made entirely of candy—seen through Macy’s large historic windows. Macy’s at City Creek Center, 50 S. Main, Salt Lake City, 801-736-8950, nightly, free, ShopCityCreekCenter.com

Holiday Window Stroll & Gingerbread House The Jingle Bus

The luxurious Grand America hotel offers The Holiday ABCs Window Stroll. Children will love finding letters of the alphabet through sparkly window displays, earning themselves a complimentary treat at the storybook Gingerbread House.

Grand America Hotel, 555 S. Main, Salt Lake City, 801-258-6000, Sundays, 11 p.m.- 3 p.m.; Friday & Saturday, 10 a.m. -9 p.m.; Monday-Thursday, 5 p.m. -9 p.m.; free, GrandAmerica.com

Villages, Shopping, Festivities & Lights

The Great Christmas Adventure at Gardner Village

The elves are back at Gardner Village with a sleighful of new traditions: storybook windows, building indoor snowmen, riding the Elf Express through the lighted tree forest, and flights to the North Pole on Santa’s Magic Sleigh. Admission includes complimentary hot cocoa and cookie. Elf scavenger hunt and window displays are free. Gardner Village, 1100 W. 7800 South, West Jordan, 801-566-8903, through Dec. 23, Monday-Saturday, 5:30-8 p.m., $7 adults/ $5 children, GardnerVillage.com

Holiday Central at Thanksgiving Point

At this beloved holiday destination, you can travel through one of the grandest holiday light displays in Utah, shop for unique gifts, watch live ice sculpture demonstrations, and see real reindeer. Father Christmas makes regular visits, and visitors can even have breakfast with old St. Nick. Thanksgiving Point, 3003 N. Thanksgiving Way, Lehi, 801-768-2300, various days & times, prices vary, ThanksgivingPoint.org

, Ogden s Christmas Village

Ride the UTA FrontRunner to 25th Street in Ogden, where downtown is transformed into a brightly lit, whimsical winter fantasyland. See the delightful displays inside each tiny village house, shop on site or up and down Two Bit Street for unique holiday gifts, ride the Polar Express train, and visit Santa in his castle nightly. 2549 Washington Blvd., Ogden, 801629-8000, Monday-Friday 6-9 p.m., Saturday 5-9 p.m., free, OgdenCity.com

Christmas in Color Gardner Village

In this brand new experience, you and your family can take a 20-minute drive through an outdoor display of more than a million LED lights, including tunnels and towering Christmas trees. Tune in on the radio for beloved holiday tunes that work in synchronization with the light show, all from the warmth of your own vehicle. Ed Mayne Street near 4800 West, Oquirrh Park, Kearns, through Jan. 2, Monday-Thursday, 5:30-10 p.m., $20 per vehicle; Friday-Saturday, 5:30-11 p.m., $25 per vehicle; pre-purchase only. ChristmasInColor.net

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Candlelight Christmas at This Is the Place Park

This is the place to slow down and experience an old-fashioned Christmas. Visitors stroll through historical homes and pioneer cabins decorated in lights, while the Heritage Village Carolers wander the streets. Children can visit with Father Christmas and make crafts and handmade gifts. This Is the Place Heritage Park, 2601 E. Sunnyside Drive, Salt Lake City, 801582-1847, Dec. 7-23 & Dec. 26, MondaySaturday evening, 5-9 p.m., $11 adults/ $8 children, ThisIsThePlace.org

Mountain Magic Ice Castles

The enchanted frozen wonder that captivated hundreds of visitors last year returns for a second season. The acre-sized ice castle features slides, tunnels, and caves to explore, and a musical light show. Soldier Hollow Resort, 2002 Soldier Hollow Road, Midway, 435-654-2002, late December-March, various prices & times, IceCastles.com

Holiday Tree & Gingerbread House

Rumor has it that the Montage at Deer Valley is home to Utah’s biggest Christmas tree. The tree is dressed in thousand

of lights and stands over 50 feet tall. A life-size gingerbread house can be found inside the grand hotel, making this a worthy stop next time you’re in town for skiing or shopping. Montage Hotels & Resorts, 9100 Marsac Ave., Park City, 435-604-1300, MontageHotels.com

, Children s Christmas Eve Celebration

An elegant dinner is served, accompanied by a torchlight parade, fireworks and visit from Santa on his sleigh just before he takes off to spread Christmas cheer. Come early for a fanciful feast, or stop in to view the free outdoor festivities. Snowbasin Ski Resort, 3925 East Snowbasin Road, Huntsville, 801-6202000, Thursday, Dec. 24, prices & times vary, Snowbasin.com

Christmas Eve Parade & Fireworks

Santa and Mrs. Claus will be flying The ‘Bird around Snowbird throughout the day, and stepping off the tram for one last visit on Christmas Eve. Festivities will ensue at dusk: bonfires, a torchlight parade, and fireworks ending with a Candlelight Service. Snowbird Ski Resort, 9385 S. Snowbird Center Dr., Snowbird, 801-933-2222, Dec. 24, 9 a.m. -7 p.m., Snowbird.com

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, , Can t get enough Christmas music? Here s a stockingful. By Randy Harward, Brian Staker & Kimball Bennion comments@cityweekly.net

Christmas Carol Service

Passes to the free carol services on Dec. 17 & 18 are gone, but standby lines start at 7 p.m. daily. No pass is required for the 4 p.m. Christmas Eve service, but arrive early for a good seat. (KB) Cathedral of the Madeleine, 331 E. South Temple, Dec. 17 & 18, 7 p.m., free, UTMCS.org

Temple Square Performances

Temple Square offers tons of free choral and orchestral concerts featuring a variety of performers. (KB) LDS Church Office Building, 50 E. North Temple, weekdays Dec. 17-23, noon & 1 p.m., free, LDS.org

Devil Whale of a Christmas Party!

Don’t get too excited, Devil Whale fans. They’re not playing tonight, but they’re “continuing the tradition of getting people together” for a holiday party. Here’s who you will get to see tonight, performing Christmas tunes and originals: Quiet Oaks, The Bully, Will Sartain, Coyote Vision Group, The Hound Mystic, Daisy & The Moonshines, Kelli Moyle, Microwave Mountain and more. Suggested attire: the a l w a y s

popular ugly Christmas sweater. (RH) The Urban Lounge, 241 S. 500 East, Dec. 18, 9 p.m., free, TheUrbanLoungeSLC.com

Davis County Symphony Messiah Sing-Along

Sing along to Handel’s Messiah with the Davis County Symphony, or at least muddle through until it gets to the “hallelujah” part. (KB) LDS Cultural Hall, 261 E. Center St., North Salt Lake, Dec. 18, 7 p.m., free, DavisCountySymphony.org

George Dyer Christmas from Branson

Tenor George Dyer is no stranger to Salt Lake, as previously performing with Kurt Bestor, Lex de Azevedo and the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. He reprises his visit from last year, and who knows; the seasonal performance might become local tradition. (BS) Wasatch Junior High, 3750 S. 3100 East, Dec. 18, 7 p.m., $20, GeorgeDyer.com

Park City Singers

The professional, non-audition choral group Park City Singers celebrates their 20th year. They involve community members in their performances, and their annual Christmas concert is the climax of their singing season. (BS) St. Mary’s Catholic Church, 1505 W. White Pine Canyon Road, Park City, Dec. 18, 7 p.m. $12 in advance; $15 at the door; 12 & under, $5; ParkCitySingers.com

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FA-LA-LA-LA-LA! T

here are two kinds of people in the world: Those who enjoy holiday music and those who lapse into humbuggery on Nov. 1 when moneychangers everywhere are suddenly filled with the spirit of Christmas. And it’s usually the former group that drags the latter to concerts like these, leading—in, let’s say, 87 percent of cases—to everyone getting on the same page (at least until all the gifts have been unwrapped, exchanged and/or flat-out returned). That’s the power of holiday music, folks! (“Jingle bells, Batman smells … fa-la-la-la-laaaaaa …)

Home Alone: Feature Film With the Utah Symphony

Tonight Jayce Ogren leads the Utah Symphony and the Viewmont High School Chorus as they perform John Williams’ original Home Alone score live while the film plays behind them. (RH) Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple, Dec. 18-19, 11 a.m. & 12:30 p.m., $6-$18, UtahSymphony.org

Park City Holiday Spectacular & Sing-Along

This local holiday favorite is not only an opportunity to hear local performers in their renditions of holiday tunes; it’s a chance to sing along. Even if you can barely carry a tune, it’s a holiday treat for the whole family. (BS) Egyptian Theatre, 328 Main, Park City, Dec. 18-20, 8 p.m., $15-$25; 12 and under, $12; EgyptianTheatreCompany.org.

Utah Symphony-Here Comes Santa Claus!

Conductor Rei Hotoda leads the Utah Symphony through a family-friendly program of holiday classics. Santa is confirmed as a special guest. (RH) Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple, Dec. 19, 11 a.m. & 12:30 p.m., $6-$18, UtahSymphony.org

Wesley Bell Ringers Concert

Ring in the season with one of the premier youth handbell choirs in the United States: Utah’s own Wesley Bell Ringers. (KB) Christ United Methodist Church, 2375 E. 3300 South, Dec. 20, 4 p.m. & 7:30 p.m., free, WesleyBells.org

Jazz Solstice Concert

What better way to celebrate the solstice than jazz? The 22nd annual local concert commemorating the turning of the seasons will feature the Larry Jackstien Quartet will be joined by a host of local guest artists in a program of jazz standards to lighten the heart at a time of year when sunlight is scarce. (BS) St. Mark’s Episcopal Cathedral, 231 E. 100 South, Dec. 21, 7 p.m., free (donations accepted), StMarksCathedralUT.org

Cathedral , of the Madeleine: s A Ceremony of Carols Peter Breinholt Christmas Concert Brtten The Madeleine Choir School’s One of Utah’s most successful singersongwriters performs his 10th annual Christmas concert tonight. Expect to hear a blend of holiday standards and well-crafted Breinholt originals. (RH) Rose Wagner Performing Arts Center, 138 W. 300 South, Dec. 19, 8 p.m., $15-$17, SLCCFA.org/venues/rosewagner-performing-arts-center/

Holiday Concert Series: Bob Peterson

Jazz trumpeter Bob Peterson and friends bring a flurry of Christmas favorites, including many of Bob’s own arrangements from his time with the U.S. Army Bands. (KB) Orem Public Library, 58 N. State, Orem, Dec. 19, noon, free, OremLibrary.org

Christmas Comes Anew Kurt Bestor

organizations locally, the group has received international renown, traveling to performances across the globe, often performing for civic groups. Their holiday program is titled after the traditional French carol of the same name. (BS) First Baptist Church of Salt Lake, 777 S. 1300 East, Dec. 19, 7 p.m., $5, SaltLakeSymphonicChoir.org

The Salt Lake Symphonic Choir has been performing since 1949, and although it’s not as well-known as other

performance of Benjamin Britten’s A Ceremony of Carols is free and does not require pass, but plan on a full house. Show up early for good seat. (KB) Cathedral of the Madeleine, 331 E. South Temple, Dec. 22 & 23, 12:15 p.m., free, UTMCS.org

Kurt Bestor Christmas

It’s Kurt Bestor Christmas, the rest of us just live in it. The prolific, multi-faceted performer has managed like no one else to add to the repertoire of a season whose musical canon is composed of firmly-entrenched chestnuts. Even more remarkable is the shows 27 year run, still popular in no small amount to Bestor’s gregarious stage demeanor. (BS) Egyptian Theatre, 328 Main, Park City, Dec 23-25; Wednesday, 8 p.m.; Thursday & Friday, 6 p.m.; $29-$45, EgyptianTheatreCompany.org

Mannheim Steamroller Christmas

Mokie & Talia Keys

The Ann Wilson Thing

Decadence SLC: V2 & Global Dance Present Knife Party w/ Figure, Infected Mushroom, Pegboard Nerds, Virtu

Before Trans-Siberian Orchestra came along with their guitars, these synthjockeys made the edgiest holiday music around. They remain a top holiday draw because their arrangements of favorite holiday tunes are both faithful and innovative. (RH) Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple, Dec. 26 & 27; Saturday, 8 p.m.; Sunday, 3 p.m.; $50-$75, ArtTix.org

Ring in the new year with lots of pretty colors, bass drops and funny lollipops at this massive NYE dance party featuring Israeli psytrance duo Infected Mushroom. The Great Saltair, 12408 W. Saltair Drive, Magna, Dec. 31, 7 p.m., $50-$100, 18 & over, DecadenceNYE.com

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Best known as the lead singer for the sister rock band Heart, singer-songwriter of “Crazy on You” and “Barracuda,” Wilson’s solo mini-tour features “edgy” blues. Enjoy a Heart-felt, intimate New Year’s Eve show. Eccles Center for the Arts, 1750 Kearns Blvd., Park City, Dec. 31, 8 p.m., $45-$185, EcclesCenter.org

Bring in New Year’s with Mokie & Talia Keys, presented by City Weekly, KRCL and The Fallout. Also, fire dancers, cirque aerialists, gourmet food, midnight Champagne toast. The Fallout, 625 S. 600 West, Dec. 31, doors open, 7 p.m.; show, 9 p.m.; $40$70; The FalloutSLC.com

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HAVING A BALL EVE SLC keeps building , a better downtown New Year s Eve event By Scott Renshaw scottr@cityweekly.net

ast year, for the first time, a giant mirrored ball was raised high above downtown Salt Lake City as part of the annual EVE SLC New Year’s Eve celebration. This year, that sphere will be staying a little bit closer to the revelers. “Last year we just tried to raise it as high as we could,” said EVE SLC organizer Nick Como of Downtown Alliance. “And some people felt it was really far away. We’re lowering it to about 65 feet so that it feels like it’s part of the celebration, then drop it to the stage at midnight.” That’s just one example of the way the event keeps making adjustments every year to entertain more than 40,000 guests over the course of the three-day event, and show off the many activities available downtown. Some of those adjustments over time have included addressing worries about frigid temperatures by moving, per Como’s estimates, “95 percent of the event” indoors, as well as providing more and more family-friendly activities. EVE SLC’s New Year’s Eve 2016 will find a return of many of the activities that have become familiar and popular. Three-day wristbands still allow access to several downtown venues, including classic silent short films at the Broadway

Centre Cinemas; exhibits at The Leonardo, Discovery Gateway and Clark Planetarium, and fun at the Salt Palace with live music and a Bouncetown inflatable play area. But there have been a few necessary logistical changes. In past years, wristbands allowed unlimited access to venues like Discovery Gateway and Clark Planetarium. But this year, guests with wristbands will be permitted one admission to each of those participating venues. Activities at the Salt Palace and City Creek still will be unlimited access. “Some [of the venues] would just get overwhelmed,” Como said. “There was too much stress on some that have limited capacity. And we don’t want people to just go to one venue over and over; we want them to experience all of downtown.” EVE SLC has also simplified the process for persons wanting to take advantage of each EVE SLC three-day wristband that allows one admission to a Utah Jazz game, this year against the Portland TrailBlazers on Dec. 31. In past years, there was difficulty getting individual guests— each of whom had to receive a voucher for the game ticket—seated together if they came as part of a group. “Come on the 29th,” said Como, “and we’ll be able to scan tickets and create a master database so groups can sit together. We think we’ve figured out that whole seating issue.” Jazz game tickets are limited to the first 1,000 guests in person on Dec. 29 at 6 p.m. at the Salt Palace—not Vivint HomeSmart Arena—box office. The most interesting change leading up to the big Countdown Stage show on Dec. 31—featuring New Orleans-based

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EVE SLC Various downtown venues

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36 | DECEMBER 17, 2015

WAITING FOR MIDNIGHT CELEBRATE IN THE MOUNTAINS

nowbird Resort (9385 S. Snowbird Center Drive, Little Cottonwood Canyon, Snowbird.com) is dialed in for New Year’s Eve. For starters, food options abound with The Aerie serving a gourmet prix fixe New Year’s menu including lobster bisque, braised veal Osso Buco, Port wine-poached Forelle Pear and more (reservations required). Meanwhile, the Lodge Bistro will offer an à la carte menu with beef tenderloin satay, orange and beet salad, spinach & bacon stuffed rib-eye and more (reservations recommended). The Steak Pit will serve a filet Oscar: an 8-ounce tenderloin filet of beef topped with a crab meat and Béarnaise sauce, served on asparagus (reservations recommended). Reserve online or call 801-933-2181. Meanwhile, don’t miss the hot cocoa and waffles on the Plaza Deck from 3-5 p.m.; the Torchlight Parade, 6 p.m., and Fireworks at 6:30 p.m. Get your groove on at bars including Wildflower Lounge (DJ Scott Johnson) and the Tram Club (Blues on First, DJ Velvet). The New Year’s Eve Celebration at Canyons Village (4000 Canyons Resort Drive, Park City, 435-615-8040) takes place Dec. 31, 3-8 p.m. with family-friendly activities that include live entertainment, sleigh rides, music and a massive fireworks show. Meanwhile, indoors at the Grand Summit Hotel , Canyons has planned a New Year’s Eve disco extravaganza. Start the evening with a family dinner at The Cabin from 5-7 p.m. Afterward, from 7:30 a.m. to 1 p.m., wear your best disco attire to the Kokopelli Ballroom for a New Year’s Disco Fever Party ($149, adults; $99, children 3-12). Phone 1-844-234-2970 to reserve your spot. Alta Ski Area (Highway 210, Little Cottonwood Canyon, 801-359-1078, Alta. com) and Solitude (12000 Big Cottonwood Canyon Road, 801-534-1400, SkiSolitude. com) resorts also plan New Year’s Eve torchlight parades (bring a food donation for Alta’s), at 6 p.m. on Dec. 31, while Deer Valley (2250 Deer Valley Drive South, Park City, 435-649-1000, DeerValley. com) has its torchlight parade on Dec. 30. At Sundance Resort (8841 N. Alpine Loop Road, Sundance, 866-259-7468, SundanceResort.com), the Owl Bar’s New Year’s Eve celebrates with the live music of Carlos Cornia. n

Get your New Year , s Eve party on in any one of these 39 bars. By Brian Staker•comments@cityweekly.net

ow should one spend the final hours of 2015?—that is the question. If you love the sound of clinking glasses while a band tears up a raucous version of “Auld Lang Syne,” then check out this list of bars in the Salt Lake area that are rolling out the red carpet out for you. From DJs to live music, party favors to champagne, these local clubs have dreamed up a variety of ways for you to bid farewell to 2015. Here’s a roundup of what local clubs have on tap for New Year’s Eve.*

SALT LAKE METRO: Area 51

Cover $15; New Years Eve Masquerade Ball; Party favors, masks, midnight balloon drop, prizes. Doors 9 p.m. 451 S. 400 West, Salt Lake City, 801-534-0819, Area51SLC.com

Beer Bar/Bar X

Free concert: Joshua Payne Orchestra. Party favors. Party starts 8 p.m., music 9:30 p.m. 161 E. 200 South, Salt Lake City, 801-355-3618, BeerBarSLC. com

The Fallout

Cover $10. Jazz trio 7- 9 p.m., dueling pianos 9 p.m.-1 a.m. Party favors, champagne. 242 S. Main, Salt Lake City, 801363-3638. KeysOnMain.com

Gracie’s

Cover $5. Bands: Dirt Cheap, Reloaded, Roll the Bones, $1 champagne midnight toast, doors open 7 p.m. 1249 E. 3300 South, Salt Lake City, 801-467-5637, LiquidJoes.net

Cover $5; DJ Gawel. Party favors. 11 a.m.-2 a.m. 326 S. West Temple, Salt Lake City, 801-819-7565, GraciesSLC.com

Green Pig

Bar Named Sue (Highland)

No cover. DJ Latu. 11a.m.-2 a.m. 31 E. 400 South, Salt Lake City, 801-532-7441, TheGreenPigPub.com

Bar Named Sue (on State)

Tickets $25 adv/$30 door. NYE Party with DJ Scotty B. Balloon drop, party favors. Open 11:30 a.m., starts 6:30 p.m. 832 E. 3900 South, Murray, 801268-2228, ClubHabits.com

Cover $3; DJ SamIAm; champagne toast at midnight. 11 a.m.-2 a.m. 3928 S. Highland Drive, Salt Lake City, 801-274-5578, A-BarNamed-Sue.com Cover $3; DJ Jello. 11 a.m.-2 a.m. 8136 S. State, Salt Lake City, 801566-3222, A-Bar-Named-Sue.com

Black Sheep

No cover; DJ playing Michael Jackson; champagne. 1520 W. 9000 South, West Jordan, 801-566-2561, TheBlackSheepBarandGrill.com

Bourbon House

No cover; giveaways; DJ, 10 p.m.midnight; champagne, 11 p.m.-1 a.m.; College Bowl games on TVs. 19 E. 200 South, Salt Lake City, 801-746-1005, BourbonHouseSLC.com

Club 90

$15 cover; Band: Natural Causes. Buffet 6-8:30 p.m. ($20, not included in cover). Noisemakers. Doors open 6 p.m. 9065 S. 150 West, Sandy, 801-566-3254, Club90SLC.com

MAS Q UE R A DE

he problem? Where to wear that smashing holiday gown or suit you bought for a special occasion? And also, what to do with that sensational mask in your closet? The solution: Big Easy Entertainment is hosting a classy New Year’s Eve Masquerade Ball on Dec. 31 at the Sheraton Salt Lake City Center. For those who go all in, there’s a dinner buffet, champagne toast, dancing, party

Keys On Main

Tickets $40; Mokie with Talia Keys. Fire dancers, cirque aerialists. Midnight champagne toast. Doors open 7 p.m., show 9 p.m. 625 S. 600 West, Salt Lake City, The FalloutSLC.com

Habits

The Hotel

Cover $20; NYE party with DJ Erockalypse, giveaways. 5 p.m.-2 a.m. 155 W. 200 South, Salt Lake City, 801-478-4310, Facebook/TheHotelClubElevate.

Huka Bar

Masquerade ball; balloon drop at midnight; three different DJs; giveaways and a New Year’s flag. 151 E. 6100 South, Murray, 801-281-4852, TheHukaBar.com

Ice Haüs

Ballroom Blitz with DJ Nix Beat & Jeremy Harmon, no cover. Open 8 p.m. 7 E. 4800 South, Murray, 801-266-2127, IceHausBar.com

Johnny’s on Second

No cover; Candy’s River House, 11 a.m.-2 a.m. 165 E. 200 South, Salt Lake City, 801-746-3334, JohnnysOnSecond.com

Liquid Joe’s

Lumpy’s Downtown

No cover; regular menu, 11 a.m.-2 a.m. 145 Pierpont, Salt Lake City, 801-883-8714, LumpysDowntownSLC.com

Lumpy’s Highland

No cover; 11 a.m.-2 a.m. 3000 S. Highland Drive, Salt Lake City, 801-484-5597, LumpysBar.com

Maxwell’s

Cover $20; All White Party. Live DJ, prizes. Bottle service. Doors open 8 p.m., no cover till 9:30 p.m. 357 S. Main, Salt Lake City, 801-328-0304. Facebook.com/ MaxwellsSLC

Metro Bar

Cover $5 till 9 p.m.; $10 after 9 p.m. Dance Evolution & Bad Kids Collective. Party favors. Doors 8 p.m. 615 W. 100 South, Salt Lake City, 801-652-6543, MetroSLC.com

Piper Down

Cover $5. NYE bingo with $2016 cash jackpot. Swag, door prizes, midnight toast. Starts 9 p.m. 1492 S. State, Salt Lake City, 801468-1492, PiperDownPub.com

The Royal

Cover $5 after 10 p.m. DJ Butch Wolfthorn. Food/drink specials. 5 p.m.-1 a.m.

favors at $65 per person. Or skip the dinner and just show up to dance, with music provided by the Sensations Soul Band and Salt Lake’s Finest DJ for only $25 per person. There are discount hotel rooms for those wishing to enjoy the cash bar. A great way to get all your problems solved!

NEW YEAR’S EVE MASQUERADE BALL

Sheraton Salt Lake City Center, 150 W. 500 South, Salt Lake City After-five attire required: Wear your best mask Dinner tickets, $65 per person

Includes: Live jazz cocktail set, buffet dinner & a glass of champagne for midnight toast, live band & DJ, party favors Dinner reservation cutoff: Dec. 21, 2015 Dance reception-only tickets, $25 per person Doors open @ 9:15 p.m. For more info, phone 801-414-1428 or 801-403-9588, or visit BigEasyNewYear.com

4760 S. 900 East, M u r r a y, 8 0 1 - 5 9 0 - 9 9 4 0 , TheRoyalSLC.com

Sandy Station

Tickets $10 advance/$15 door. DJs Celly Cel & Bad Boy Brian. Balloon drop, champagne toast. Dress to Impress. Starts 9 p.m. 8925 S. Harrison St., Sandy, 801-255-2289, SandyStation.com

Sky Lounge

Tickets $30 advance/ $40 door. Performer: singersongwriter Bright Lights. Black tie. 9 p.m. 149 Pierpont Ave., Salt Lake City, 801-883-8714, SkySLC.com

Tavernacle

Cover $10. Dueling Pianos show, party favors, prizes. Starts 9 p.m. 201 E. 300 South, Salt Lake City, 801-519-8900, Tavernacle.com

Twist

Cover $3. DJ Birdman; giveaways. 9 p.m.-2 a.m. 32 S. Exchange Place, Salt Lake City, 801-3223200, TwistSLC.com

Urban Lounge

Cover $3 till 10 p.m., $7 after. Bands: Flash & Flare, Matty Mo, Chase One Two. Disco ball. Photos by Photo Collective Studios. Doors open 8 p.m. 241 S. 500 East, Salt Lake City, 801-746-0557. TheUrbanLoungeSLC.com

The Westerner

Cover $5 after 8 p.m. Band Caleb Austin 9:30 p.m. 3360 S. Redwood Road, 801972-5447, WesternerSLC.com

The Woodshed

Cover $5, Live music: Reggae party night. 5 pm-2 a.m. 60 E. 800 South, Salt Lake City, 801-364-0805, TheWoodshedSLC.com

Whiskey Street

Standard hours; kitchen open till midnight. 323 S. Main, Salt Lake City, 801-433-1371. WhiskeyStreet.com

Zest Kitchen & Bar

Cover $5. Clandestine Nights— dark, sexy house music. DJs 9 p.m., dancing 10 p.m. Open 11 a.m. 275 S. 200 West, Salt Lake City, 801-433-0589. ZestSLC.com

PARK CITY Cisero’s

Tickets $40; The Snowball with DJ Battleship & Street Jesus; giveaways. 9 p.m.-2 a.m. 306 Main, Park City. 435649-6800. Ciseros.com

Downstairs

Tickets $75; New Year’s party with Chris Masterson & Miss DJ Lux, bottle service, doors open 8 p.m. 625 Main, Park City. 435226-5340. TheDownstairsPC.com

Park City Live

Tickets $50, Black & White Masquerade, DJ RossONE. Doors 8 p.m. 427 Main, Park City, 435649-9123, ParkCityLive.net

OGDEN Alleged

Cover $5; DJ Mathematiks; champagne, promo girls, giveaways, party favors. Doors 5 p.m.; No cover until 9 p.m. 201 25th St., Ogden, 801990-0692, Alleged25th.com Continued on p. 38 »

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AVAILABLE HERE!!

HOLIDAY CHEER

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STATE

MAIN

EXCHANGE PL.

400 S.

32 Exchange Place • 801-322-3200 www.twistslc.com • 11:00am - 1:00am

DECEMBER 17, 2015 | 37

300 S.

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38 | DECEMBER 17, 2015

L AU GH I N T H E NE W YEAR

hether or not 2015 was a barrel of laughs for you, there are far worse ways to start 2016 in a jolly mood than spending New Year’s Eve watching live comedy. In Park City, the Egyptian Theatre hosts legendary/infamous watermelonsmashing comedian Gallagher for a series of shows Dec. 26-Jan. 2. Over the course of a 40-year performing career, he virtually invented the one-man cable comedy special, and has splattered more audiences with his trademark Sledge-OMatic than could be counted. Be prepared with a water-proof tarp if you get the cabaret seats. 328 Main St., Park City,

435-649-9371, Dec. 26—Jan. 2, 8 p.m., $29-$45, EgyptianTheatreCompany.org Wiseguys Comedy’s two Utah venues also showcase headliners that should be familiar to local audiences. At the new downtown location, Jeff Dye—soon to be hosting the NBC reality/travel show Better Late Than Never with Henry Winkler, Terry Bradshaw, William Shatner and George Forman—brings an easy-going, hoodiewearing demeanor to town for two New Year’s Eve shows. 194 S. 400 West, 801-5325233, Dec. 30-31, 7:30 p.m. & 9:30 p.m., $15 And at Wiseguys Ogden, Mormon cinema writer/director John Moyer (The Singles Ward, Mobsters & Mormons) shares his funny perspective on local culture. 269 25th St., Ogden, 801-622-5588, Dec. 31 & Jan. 2, 8 p.m., $10

-Scott Renshaw scottr@cityweekly.net

NEW YEAR’S EVE Continued from p. 37

OGDEN

UTAH COUNTY

Funk’n Dive

Cover $5. Band: Highway Thieves. Swag, door prizes, free midnight toast. Open 3 p.m.-2 a.m.

2550 Washington Blvd., Ogden, 801-521-3483, FunkAndDive. com

Outlaw Saloon

Cover $5 after 7 p.m. Band: Hearts of Steel. Party favors, giveaways, drink specials. Doors 5:30 p.m. 1254 W. 21st St., Ogden, 801-334-9260, OutlawSaloon.com

ABG’s Libation Emporium

Cover $8; Bands: martini temple, champagne, party favors. 3 p.m.-2 a.m. 190 W. Center St., Provo, 801-373-1200. ABGsBar.com Bar events are based on information available at press time.

1492 S. STATE, SALT LAKE CITY | 801.468.1492 | PIPERDOWNPUB.COM

WHERE SOPHISTICATED MEETS CASUAL Holladay’s Premier Martini & Wine Bar

Ballroom Blitz DJ Nix Beat & Jeremy Harmon Best Dance Party in Town! 7 EAST 4800 S. (1 BLOCK WEST OF STATE ST.) MURRAY | ICEHAUSBAR.COM

gets you a great band, $5 a Midnight Toast, Prizes, Swag and a great end to 2015. Enjoy our awesome menu and food specials until the New Year.

Live Music Friday & Saturday 6pm - 9pm

2550 Washington Blvd, Ogden | 801.621.3483 | HRs:3pm-2am

DJ’s Friday & Saturday 9pm - Close

Full dining menu available from Cafe Trio

Reservations for special events / private parties

6405 S 3000 E | 801.943.1696 | ELIXIRUTAH.COM

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DECEMBER 17, 2015 | 39

40 | DECEMBER 17, 2015

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REVIEW BITES

A sampler of Ted Scheffler’s reviews

Featuring dining destinations from buffets and rooms with a view to mom & pop joints, chic cuisine and some of our dining critic’s faves.

Porcupine Pub & Grille

Fans of The Porcupine at the mouth of Big Cottonwood Canyon have a new place to congregate—and they’re doing so in droves. Fortunately, this second location has a small bar area in which to pass the time while you await seating. Lunch and dinner menus are pretty similar, though prices go up considerably for dinner. An appetizer of ahi spring rolls with a pair of tasty dipping sauces isn’t something you see on most pub menus, and this one is plentiful enough to serve as an entree. The New England seafood chowder is some of the best I’ve ever eaten. A puffy-crust, fourcheese pizza was quite appealing; other pizza options include Thai chicken, shrimp Margherita, barbecue chicken, and roasted veggies on flat bread. The poblano steak pasta came with linguine bathed in a creamy Alfredo-style sauce spiked with poblano chiles; had the pasta been al dente, this would have been a total winner. The service is genuinely friendly and warm—more proof that this ain’t your granddaddy’s pub. Reviewed Dec. 10. 258 E. 1300 South, 801-582-5555, PorcupinePub. com

El Chanate

Monday-friday 11:30-3:30 pm

30% off bento lunches free edamame w/

purchase of $25 or more EXPIRES 12/31/15

3333 S. STATE ST, SLC 801-467-6697 SERVING AUTHENTIC CHINESE & JAPANESE CUSINE BEER & WINE AVAILABLE

Hot Dynasty

Hot Dynasty is hidden away in the Chinatown Supermarket building—and once you find it, you’ll discover a restaurant that’s upscale in appearance, though not in price. With nearly 250 dishes to choose from, it’s hard to know where to begin. I was thrilled to spy dan dan noodles on the menu, but we were disappointed that the noodles were a tad mushy. More to our liking were the Sichuan Cold Noodles: thicker, lo mein-type egg noodles served cold with a deliciously spicy peanut-sesame sauce. Some Hot Dynasty ingredients might be off-putting to the Western palate, but if not, try the Hot Pot with Pork Blood, Bungs & Vegetables. And while I don’t normally expect much in the way of a wine selection, in Chinese restaurants, this list—including Dom Pérignon Vintage Champagne—blew my mind. Reviewed Nov. 5, 2015. 3390 S. State, 801-712-5332, HotDynasty.com

inning Indian Fo w d r a od Aw South Jordan • 10500 S. 1086 W. Ste. 111 • 801.302.0777 Provo • 98 W. Center Street • 801.373.7200 Gift certificates available • www.IndiaPalaceUtah.com

A little taste of burger

64 years & counting!

4591 S. 5600 W., WVC ABSDRIVEIN.COM | 801.968.2130

DECEMBER 17, 2015 | 41

13 NEIGHBORHOOD LOCATIONS FA C E B O O K . C O M / A P O L L O B U R G E R

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197 North Main St • Layton • 801-544-4344

ser ved 7:00 - 11:00 am M o n d ay - S a t u r d ay

Better burger... meet better breakfast!

HISTORY

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“Chanate” in Spanish means “blackbird”—which makes it an appropriate moniker for this high-altitude Snowbird restaurant that’s soaring. Chef Carlos Perez’s chili is indeed award-worthy: a red chili brimming with tender roasted pork and posole-inspired hominy in place of the traditional beans. His unleashed creativity also shows up in an appetizer of pork empanadas, lightly fried and stuffed with shredded, slow-roasted pork, Chihuahua cheese, creamy

salsa de árbol, and zippy habanero salsa. Indeed, Chef Perez is truly gifted when it comes to cooking pork; order any pork dish from the El Chanate menu, and prepare to be bowled over. However, of all the dishes I enjoyed at El Chanate, my favorite was the pork chili Colorado: think chili rojo, a hearty New Mexico-style chili consisting of bite-size chunks of slow-roasted pork, bathed in a rich sauce made with broth and guajillo chiles, warm tortillas for soaking up every bit of that killer Colorado sauce. Reviewed Nov. 12. The Cliff Lodge at Snowbird Resort, 801-933-2025, Snowbird.com/dining/el-chanate

1/2 off sushi all day-everyday

Serving American Comfort Food Since 1930 -Creekside Patio-85 Years and Going Strong-breakfast served daily until 4pm-Delicious Mimosas & Bloody mary’s-Gift Cards for sale in diner or online @ruthsdiner.com “In a perfect world, every town would have a diner just like Ruth’s” -CityWeekly

“Like having dinner at Mom’s in the mountains” -Cincinnati Enquirer

Bakery • Cafe • Market • Spirits www.ruthsdiner.com | 801 582-5807 4160 Emigration Canyon Road

ruthscreekside.com | 801.582.0457 4170 Emigration Canyon Road

Mon-Thurs

AWARD WINING

FREE

BBQ & CATERING

Ro o m s f o r Private Events

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| CITY WEEKLY |

-Liquor Outlet-Creekside Cafe-Market-

BBQ IN A BOX “Family Style To Go Meals”

48 HOUR NOTICE Great for Tailgating!

LIVE MUSIC Friday & Saturday

155 W. COMMONWEALTH AVE (2125 S.) | 801.484.5963

PATSBBQ.COM

BEST SCRATCH BAKERY 2015

US DELICIORY E K A B S! TREAT S, E N O C S IES, C O O K TS U N O D E! & MOR

GOODEATS Complete listings at cityweekly.net Lucky H Bar & Grille

At Little America Hotel, the Lucky H Bar & Grille’s casual ambiance is perfect for everything from a romantic dinner to an important business lunch. And, the restaurant’s extensive menu offers a variety of seafood entrees, garden fresh salads and fine desserts in addition to prime steaks and roasts. Start out with New England crab cakes, escargot or French onion soup before moving on to prime rib, tenderloin with Bearnaise sauce, a 12-ounce rib-eye, double-cut lamb chops or tenderloin with Australian lobster tail—all served up in an elegant atmosphere. Little America Hotel, 500 S. Main, Salt Lake City, 801-5965700, SaltLake.LittleAmerica.com

J. Wong’s Asian Bistro

Located downtown in the trendy Patrick Lofts building, J. Wong’s Asian Bistro offers customers an eclectic Asian menu with a focus on Chinese and Thai cuisine. Peking duck, walnut shrimp and firecracker shrimp are some of the Chinese highlights, along with the excellent hot and sour soup. Thai offerings include a range of yellow, green and red curries, along with pad Thai, tom kha, basil eggplant and Thai basil beef. For those who enjoy being skewered, J. Wong’s is also a satay grill. And there’s a cozy bar with a full array of beer, wine and cocktails. Don’t miss the quick and efficient $8.95 lunch special. 163 W. 200 South, Salt Lake City, 801-350-0888, JWongUtah.com

Mon-Fri 7:30-3:00

8 E. Broadway 801-531-0917

JudgeCafe.com

Caffe Molise

Pre-concert, -theater, -conference, -sporting event, -symphony, -opera or pre-nothing-at-all, Caffe Molise is a terrific downtown Salt Lake City spot to indulge in south-central Italian cuisine. The restaurant’s menu tempts dinners with dishes such as polenta con funghi, bistecca (steak), pollo Marsala, and spaghettini pomodori, all supplemented by an ambitious selection of Italian and domestic wines. And the lasagne is legendary. During warm weather, the outside pocket-park patio is a popular dinner spot. 55 W. 100 South, Salt Lake City, 801-364-8833, CaffeMolise.com

E TM

TO THE GR EE

Boulevard Bistro

A blend of upscale and casual dining, Boulevard Bistro in Salt Lake City is a great place to take a date or enjoy a meal with friends. You’ll find a blend of American, Italian and French cuisine for breakfast, lunch and dinner at this hip, modern restaurant. During the summer, enjoy your meal on the patio and start off with an appetizer such as the trio of Mediterranean dips served with rye toast points. The pan-seared red trout and the clam linguini are excellent entree options, but make sure to save room for some gelato. 1414 S. Foothill Boulevard, Salt Lake City, 801-953-1270, BoulevardBistroFoothill.com

Taqueria Lolita

62 E. Gallivan Ave. 801-961-9000 FromScratchSLC.com

Mention this ad for a free cookie with purchase!

42 | DECEMBER 17, 2015

Mountainside Retreat & Simple Conveniences

AS SEEN ON “ DINERS, DRIVE-INS AND DIVES”

Taqueria Lolita downtown offers up plenty of spice. For instance, the devilishly incendiary camarones el Diablo (shrimp in a fiery red chile sauce) will singe the enamel from your teeth. But there are milder options at this cozy restaurant as well. Tacos, for example, come in a multitude of flavors: pastor, asada, lengua, pollo, cabeza, carnitas, and more. The moles

Breakfast

OMELETTES | PANCAKES • GREEK SPECIALTIES

Lunch & Dinner

HOMEMADE SOUP • GREEK SPECIALS GREEK SALADS • HOT OR COLD SANDWICHES KABOBS • PASTA • FISH • STEAKS • CHOPS GREEK PLATTERS & GREEK DESSERTS

Beer & Wine

THE OTHER PLACE

RESTAURANT OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK

MON - SAT 7AM - 11PM SUN 8AM - 10PM 469 EAST 300 SOUTH | 521-6567

GOODEATS

Complete listings at cityweekly.net at Taqueria Lolita are terrific too; the chicken in rich, dark mole transports you to Oaxaca. And owner Jesus Sanchez is always standing by with a friendly “Hola!” to greet customers, and some cold Coronas, as well. 909 S. 300 West, Salt Lake City, 801-362-4123, TaqueriaLolita.com

Beto’s Mexican Food

If you’re about authentic Mexican food, late nights and cheap prices, Beto’s could be the place for you. The diverse menu spans across all of the Mexican food groups: the burrito, the tostada, the taquito, the quesadilla and much more. Plus, this restaurant is open at all hours, making it great for those late-night cravings. The carne asada burrito and the California burrito are the favorites, with good reason, as they are filled with classic Mexican flavor and are the size of a small infant, so no one will leave without a full belly. Multiple Locations, BetosMexicanFoodUtah.com

Cal’s Deli

The Garage

This off-the-beaten-path restaurant has the gritty charm of a classic roadhouse. You’ll find friendly staff, a full bar and some of the tastiest fried victuals in Salt Lake City, like the sumptuous fried chicken and the deep-fried funeral potatoes, a devilish twist on some nostalgic Mormon cuisine. The Garage has two bars, two stages, a cornhole setup in the back and a regular lineup of killer local and national blues and rock bands. 1199 N. Beck St., Salt Lake City, 801-5213904, GarageOnBeck.com

NEW LOCATlON

801.328.4900 | 1000 S. MAlN STREET

E FOOD E E B E E R W IN JU IC E C O F F

South China House

Locals love this unassuming and inexpensive restaurant. Online comments range from “One of the best-kept secrets in town,” to “I like the pho so much, I ordered it two days in a row!” This downtown restaurant, which serves up both Chinese and Vietnamese food, is easy to miss, with a subtle exterior that blends into its surrounding urban landscape—but the food is another story.

IS H IR IN G

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DECEMBER 17, 2015 | 43

EMAIL YOUR RESUME TO JENNIFER@DEVOURUTAH.COM

We are seeking an account executive to consult with local businesses about print and digital advertising opportunities.

2795 South 2300 East I the-bluestar.com

TURN YOUR PASSION FOR FOOD INTO A CAREER

Now Serving Beer, Wine, Fresh Mimosas!

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Just a hop, skip and jump away from the Woods Cross UTA FrontRunner station, Cal’s Deli is a Bountiful neighborhood breakfast and lunch hot spot. Good food at a good price; the most expensive menu item costs $6 and change. Its breakfast offerings include waffles, French toast, egg croissant sandwich or breakfast burrito. At lunchtime, the focus shifts to sandwiches and salads. Try the Southwest salad, Caesar or spinach-walnut salad,

along with a cup or bowl of chicken noodle soup. House favorite sandwiches include albacore tuna, egg salad, Reuben and hot turkey & Swiss. You can dress your own sandwich at Cal’s unique condiment bar. There’s also a kids’ menu with kid-friendly fare like chicken tenders, hot dogs and pizza. It’s a good spot to grab lunch to-go on your way to the train. 687 W. 700 South, Woods Cross, 801-298-1994, CalsDeli.com

NOW OPEN at our

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44 | DECEMBER 17, 2015

SIS TERS

Role Reversal

CINEMA

Sisters puts the perfect Fey/Poehler pair in an imperfect set-up. BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net @scottrenshaw

f modern film history introduced the notion of the “high-concept” movie— one where you can sell it to an audience based on a one-sentence plot summary—we might also need a name for a concept that’s actually higher than high-concept. That’s when a movie is effectively defined by its title and the casting of the lead actors—like “Chris Rock is Head of State,” or “Dwayne Johnson is the Tooth Fairy,” or perhaps the non plus ultra of this notion, “Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito are Twins.” It’s marketing distilled to its purest form, understanding that moviegoers want to see the performers they like, and they want to know what they’re going to see those performers do. Sisters on some level feels like a continuation of that tradition, since “Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are Sisters” has been enough to make fans of the ex-Saturday Night Live castmates giddy at the prospect of seeing them work together, and work through a dramatized sibling rivalry. You might even have a sense for the kind of character each one will play, perhaps based on their onscreen dynamic in Baby Mama. It should be to the credit of everyone involved that Sisters goes another way—and maybe it would have been, if that other way had worked for both stars in the same way. Because, instead of casting Fey as the together-if-high-strung sibling and Poehler as the inveterate screw-up, screenwriter Paula Pell flips the script. Poehler plays Maura Ellis, recently divorced, but still the one who checks in regularly with her parents (Dianne Wiest and James Brolin) and tries to take care of everyone; and Fey is Kate Ellis, a single mom who can’t hold down a job. When their parents announce that they’re selling the Orlando, Fla., house where the sisters grew up, they head home to clear out their old things. But instead of saying goodbye to their past, they opt to re-live it in the form of a huge

party with their old high-school friends, only with a personality twist: Maura will get to be the wild thing, and Kate will have to stay sober and responsible. It’s a terrific premise, rich with possibilities at exploring how people mythologize the joys, conflicts and disappointments of adolescence, and sometimes find it hard to break free from them. Sisters occasionally pokes its nose into that territory, partly through supporting characters like a classmate (Maya Rudolph) who can’t shake her high-school rivalry with Kate, and another (Bobby Moynihan) who still tries way too hard to be the comedian. Even the performances by Poehler and Fey are at their strongest when Maura and Kate are exploring the roles they never dealt with as teenagers—the popular party girl, and the one who has to clean up after the popular party girl, respectively. But Pell was also a longtime writer for Saturday Night Live, and Sisters does often feel, in the way of so many contemporary broad comedies, like a series of sketches rather than a cohesive movie. Plenty of those sketches are aces, as Pell and director Jason Moore (Pitch Perfect) make use of their stars’ skills for goofy bits like Maura’s repeated inability to pronounce the name of a Korean beauty-salon employee. And John Cena gets yet another scene-stealing showcase, hot on the heels of Trainwreck, that proves his comedic chops. With few exceptions, however— like a particularly awkward moment between

Tina Fey and Amy Poehler in Sisters

Maura and the guy she’s trying to woo (Ike Barinholtz)—the scenes generally feel like punch lines in search of something to hold them all together. There’s also that little matter of the characters Poehler and Fey are playing, which seems like a clever notion on the surface. The problem is that Poehler is a far more versatile actor than Fey, able to be thoroughly convincing both as the control freak and the just-plain-freak. Fey is incredibly funny and talented, but it’s hard to buy her as a slacker; it feels at times as though she’s playing a smart person’s parody of the girl who peaked at 17. While the chemistry between Poehler and Fey is too delicious not to provide some fun moments, they’re not interchangeable parts in their comedic partnership. When the concept is high, sometimes the expectations are, too. CW

SISTERS

BB.5 Amy Poehler Tina Fey Ike Barinholtz Rated R

TRY THESE Twins (1988) Arnold Schwarzenegger Danny DeVito Rated PG

Baby Mama (2008) Tina Fey Amy Poehler Rated PG-13

Tooth Fairy (2010) Dwayne Johnson Ashley Judd Rated PG

Pitch Perfect (2012) Anna Kendrick Rebel Wilson Rated PG-13

CINEMA CLIPS

MOVIE TIMES AND LOCATIONS AT CITYWEEKLY.NET

NEW THIS WEEK Information is correct at press time. Film release schedules are subject to change. ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: THE ROAD CHIP BB Part 4 of the Alvin and the Chipmunks saga retains the philosophy of the previous three: There’s no need to try very hard when your audience is composed of undiscerning children. This time, the computer-animated singing rodents believe that Dave (Jason Lee) is going to propose to his girlfriend, Samantha (Kimberly Williams-Paisley), in Miami—and since Samantha’s teenage son Miles (Josh Green) is mean to them, they try to prevent the union. (They believe all that is needed to prevent a marriage proposal is to steal the ring. They also make no effort to tell Dave or Samantha that Miles is abusive.) The Chipmunks and Miles get thrown off an airplane and are thereafter pursued on land by an air marshal (Tony Hale) with a grudge. The plot depends on everyone always making the dumbest choices when presented with problems, while the humor depends on 1. fart noises, 2. Tony Hale being physically punished, and 3. the sound of contemporary pop songs being sung in high-pitched voices. For adults, it’s relatively benign tedium. For kids, who cares? They’ll watch anything. Opens Dec. 18 at theaters valleywide. (PG)—Eric D. Snider

SISTERS BB.5 See review p. 44. Opens Dec. 18 at theaters valleywide. (R) STAR WARS: EPISODE VII —THE FORCE AWAKENS [not yet reviewed] Nope, haven’t heard anything about this one. See CityWeekly.net for a pre-release review. Opens Dec. 18 at theaters valleywide. (PG-13)

SPECIAL SCREENINGS MEET ME IN ST. LOUIS At Main Library, Dec. 17, 7 p.m. (NR) CINDERELLA (1959) At Sorensen Unity Center, Dec. 18, 6 p.m. (NR) THE WONDERS At Park City Film Series, Dec. 18-19 @ 8 p.m. & Dec. 20 @ 6 p.m. (NR)

CURRENT RELEASES

MACBETH BBB.5 Director Justin Kurzel walks the fine line between defining a unique enough perspective to justify yet another version of the Shakespeare tragedy, and screwing with the root text so that it’s unrecognizable. He grounds everything in the familiar story of the warrior/nobleman (Michael Fassbender) and his wife (Marion Cotillard) whose ambition for the Scottish throne leads to violence and madness, showcasing the moments that reveal the Macbeths’ dark emotions through long takes of crucial monologues. That foundation allows him the freedom to explore decidedly non-canonical ideas about lines of succession and the trickle-down effect of violence on the young. This Macbeth digs into the collision between the urge to create life and the urge to destroy it, and in so doing, addresses the challenge facing any retelling of an oft-told tale: It provides a justification for its own existence. (R)—SR KRAMPUS B.5 Though based on authentic folklore, there’s no mythological weight behind this flick’s idea of the anti-Santa creature called Krampus. A demonic elf, rather than a jolly one, he punishes everyone in the vicinity of transgressions against the Christmas spirit—putting, say, the frustration young Max (Emjay Anthony) feels when he is forced to spend Christmas with cruel cousins on the same level as the cruelty itself. So, this is more like a standard slasher horror, with its baddie on a rampage of arbitrary carnage. This one takes far too long to get to what is meant to be the scary stuff—and then isn’t very scary once it actually gets there. And the ambiguous ending, no matter which way you take it, makes everything that came before moot, anyway. (R)—MAJ

IN THE HEART OF THE SEA BBB.5 Director Ron Howard has taken a real-life story that partly inspired Moby Dick, and made an old-school, man-vs.-nature adventure that’s also about the dawning environmental awareness in Owen Chase (Chris Hemsworth), first mate of the whaling ship Essex, which experienced the 1820 disaster chronicled here. Howard makes you feel the power of the mighty ship as the wind snaps in her sails; Chase and Capt. Pollard (Benjamin Walker) disagree over how to navigate, beginning a philosophical divide over whether humans rule over nature, or nature rules herself. While Heart is never unsympathetic to the ordeal the Essex survivors endure, it’s never unsympathetic to the whale, either. A once-familiar historical story is retold in a way that commands us to respect nature for what it is in its own right, not for what it can do for us. (PG-13)—MaryAnn Johanson

THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY—PART 2 BBB.5 One of the smartest, most enthralling science-fiction film series ever reaches a thoroughly engaging and fitting end, questioning all of our assumptions about war, power and peace—particularly as blockbuster film series tend to present them. Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence) doesn’t lead the rebels in an assault on the Capitol: She’s bringing up with the rear with the propaganda team, which is taking big risks in bringing along tortured Peeta (Josh Hutcherson), hoping to show that he’s turned back toward the forces of good. But who is “good,” anyway? Amidst some of the series’ most breathtaking and original action sequences, problems with the revolution itself are coming to light. Is Katniss about to overthrow one tyrant, only to install another? Matters of trust—personal, as well as political—make this an emotional experience as much as an explosive one. (PG-13)—MAJ

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HEART OF A DOG BBB.5 Musician/artist Laurie Anderson takes something that seems to begin as a deeply personal video essay and ultimately emerges with an often fascinating meditation on coming to terms with death. The title refers to Anderson’s relationship with her rat terrier, Lolabelle, whose death frames many of the other stories, including the death of Anderson’s mother—and, in a subtext that’s never explicitly part of the film, also the 2013 death of her husband, musician Lou Reed. Those stories are related in Anderson’s own precise, hypnotic voice as narrator—a voice that creates a certain distance from even the most emotional moments. Yet, Heart of a Dog is also an exhilarating mix of visual components, combining old home movies, illustrations, dramatizations and even surveillance/security camera footage with Anderson’s original score to make something that plays out more as an installation piece than a conventional documentary. And even when Anderson includes material that’s hard to connect with her personal journey—like her interest in the post-9/11 “security state”—it’s almost always compelling watching her wrestle with Buddhist teachings and her sense of the imperfect role of memory in transforming mourning into understanding. Opens Dec. 18 at Broadway Centre Cinemas. (NR)—Scott Renshaw

ROCCO AND HIS BROTHERS [not reviewed] Re-release of Lucchino Visconti’s 1960 story of a family building a new life after re-locating to Milan. Opens Dec. 18 at Broadway Centre Cinemas. (NR)

STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS

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THEATER DIRECTORY SALT LAKE CITY Brewvies Cinema Pub 677 S. 200 West 801-355-5500 Brewvies.com

PARK CITY Cinemark Holiday Village 1776 Park Ave. 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com

Broadway Centre Cinemas 111 E. 300 South 801-321-0310 SaltLakeFilmSociety.org

Redstone 8 Cinemas 6030 N. Market 435-575-0220 Redstone8Cinemas.com

Century 16 South Salt Lake 125 E. 3300 South 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com

DAVIS COUNTY AMC Loews Layton Hills 9 728 W. 1425 North, Layton 801-774-8222 AMCTheatres.com

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Water Gardens Cinema 6 1945 E. Murray-Holladay Road 801-273-0199 WaterGardensTheatres.com Megaplex 12 Gateway 165 S. Rio Grande St. 801-304-4636 MegaplexTheatres.com Redwood Drive-In 3688 S. Redwood Road 801-973-7088 Tower Theatre 836 E. 900 South 801-321-0310 SaltLakeFilmSociety.org WEST VALLEY 5 Star Cinemas 8325 W. 3500 South, Magna 801-250-5551 RedCarpetCinemas.com Carmike 12 1600 W. Fox Park Drive, West Jordan 801-562-5760 Carmike.com Cinemark 24 Jordan Landing 7301 S. Bangerter Highway 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com Cinemark Valley Fair Mall 3601 S. 2700 West, West Valley City 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com Showcase Cinemas 6 5400 S. Redwood Road, Taylorsville 801-957-9032 RedCarpetCinemas.com SOUTH VALLEY Century 16 Union Heights 7800 S. 1300 East, Sandy 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com Cinemark Draper 12129 S. State, Draper 801-619-6494 Cinemark.com Cinemark Sandy 9 9539 S. 700 East, Sandy 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com Megaplex Jordan Commons 9400 S. State, Sandy 801-304-INFO MegaplexTheatres.com Megaplex 20 at The District 11400 S. Bangerter Highway 801-304-INFO MegaplexTheatres.com

Cinemark Station Park 900 W. Clark Lane, Farmington 801-447-8561 Cinemark.com Cinemark Tinseltown USA 720 W. 1500 North, Layton 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com Gateway 8 206 S. 625 West, Bountiful 801-292-7979 RedCarpetCinemas.com Megaplex Legacy Crossing 1075 W. Legacy Crossing Blvd., Centerville 801-397-5100 MegaplexTheatres.com WEBER COUNTY Cinemark Tinseltown 14 3651 Wall Ave., Ogden 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com Megaplex 13 at The Junction 2351 Kiesel Ave., Ogden 801-304-INFO MegaplexTheatres.com UTAH COUNTY Carmike Wynnsong 4925 N. Edgewood Drive, Provo 801-764-0009 Carmike.com Cinemark American Fork 715 W. 180 North, American Fork 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com Cinemark Movies 8 2230 N. University Parkway, Orem 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com Cinemark Provo Town Center 1200 Town Center Blvd., Provo 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com Cinemark University Mall 1010 S. 800 East, Provo 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com Megaplex Thanksgiving Point 2935 N. Thanksgiving Way 801-304-INFO MegaplexTheatres.com Water Gardens Cinema 8 790 E. Expressway Ave. Spanish Fork 801-798-9777 WaterGardensTheatres.com Water Gardens Cinema 6 912 W. Garden Drive Pleasant Grove 801-785-3700 WaterGardensTheatres.com

TRUE BY B I L L F RO S T @bill_frost

Tooned In

On Fleek Fleek Adjacent Devoid of Fleek

Bill Burr drops F Is for Family, The Soup says buh-bye, and Christmas ‘mehs’ on. F Is for Family Friday, Dec. 18 (Netflix)

The Soup Friday, Dec. 18 (E!)

A Christmas Melody Saturday, Dec. 19 (Hallmark)

Movie: Divorcee clothing designer Kristin (Lacey Chabert) is forced to close her Manhattan boutique and move, with her young daughter, back into her parents’ house in— gross!—Ohio. To make matters worse, Kristin’s high-school

The Spirit of Christmas Saturday, Dec. 19 (Lifetime)

Movie: In a plot straight out of Mike Tyson Mysteries, young lawyer Kate (Jen Lilley) travels to Vermont—over Christmas, natch, because there’s a promotion on the line and she’s just a woman—to broker the sale of an old inn. Upon arrival, she not only learns that the inn is haunted, but the haunter is a handsome ghost (Bates Wilder) who takes living form for the 12 days of Christmas every year because the mystery of his death remains unsolved—so Kate falls in love with him, natch, because she’s just a woman. It’s especially convenient that Mr. Ghost has been “dead” for 95 years, because he looks and dresses like a modern-day hipster barista (nice suspenders, dude). Upside: No musical numbers.

F Is for Family (Netflix)

I Love Lucy Christmas Special Wednesday, Dec. 23 (CBS)

Special: Regardless of your feelings on vintage 4:3 versus modern 16:9 television aspect ratios (in non-tech terms: You know how you scream at your TV and renounce God when an old show appears as a square on your expensive rectangular set? That’s 4:3), not to mention colorization, The Only TV Column That Matters™ thinks we can all agree that we don’t need a pair of 60-year-old I Love Lucy episodes packaged together as a “special” for Christmas. Yes, they’re two of Lucy’s greatest hits (the rarely seen “The Christmas Episode” from 1956, and 1952’s legitimately classic “Lucy Does a TV Commercial”), but why bother, CBS? Just rerun The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show from last week, or an old holiday-themed Criminal Minds (“The killer stabbed his victims repeatedly with a sharpened candy cane, covered the bodies in reindeer urine and disposed of them in a dumpster behind a Hobby Lobby. Wheels up in 20 …”). CW Listen to Bill on Mondays at 8 a.m. on X96 Radio From Hell; weekly on the TV Tan podcast via iTunes and Stitcher.

Series Finale: Sure, now Joel McHale can finally pursue a career beyond hosting a basic-cable clip full-time, but what about us? How are we to stay current on the 24/7 garbage cannon that is reality TV? Most of which spews directly from E! itself? The conscience of the network will be silenced after tonight, so there’s little reason to ever revisit E! again— scripted drama The Royals is still worthwhile, but you can catch that on-demand elsewhere—after Joel, Mankini and the rest of The Soup crew hang it up. All that’s left now are the humanoid equivalents of turd emojis (Kardashians, Jenners, #RichKids, et al), so goodbye and good riddance, E!

rival (Mariah Carey, who’s 15 years older than Chabert, but whatever) is now the head of the PTA and determined to make her life hell all over again. But, as the title implies, A Christmas Melody isn’t just another Big City Gal Goes to Nowheresville, Learns the True Meaning of Christmas and Gets Her Jingle Bell Rung by the Town Hunk holiday movie: It’s also a musical! With precocious singing kiddies! Meh. Why not end the season weird, Hallmark? Like Lifetime …

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Series Debut: Comedian Bill Burr was slinging (smarter) anti-PC rants long before a certain GOP presidential frontrunner hijacked the practice, and his new animated series is the most hilariously profane breakthrough since Netflix’s own BoJack Horseman—he only had to set it in 1973 to pull it off. F Is for Family is a semi-autobiographical take on Burr’s wonder years, wherein dad Frank (voiced by Burr) is a beer-swilling bullhorn of backward-thinking, Mom (Laura Dern) is too smart for the room and the time period and kids Kevin (Justin Long), Bill (Haley Reinhart) and Maureen (Debi Derryberry) somehow survive without excessive “helicopter” parenting. But, for all its R-rated laughs and detailed attention to ’70s-isms, F Is for Family also touches on real-life drama and, yes, the occasional Heartfelt Moment. It won’t attract Jessica Jones-level hype, but F Is for Family is the perfect closer for a killer year of Netflix originals.

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Drive-By Scribe

MUSIC

Patterson Hood’s too busy having adventures to write about them—yet. BY KIMBALL BENNION comments@cityweekly.net @kimballbennion

atterson Hood is aware that his band, Drive-By Truckers, will be turning 20 next year. He’s aware, but he doesn’t dwell on it. Even if he had the temperament, where would he find the time? On a solo tour while simultaneously writing and recording a new Truckers album, Hood is too busy thinking of his era-defining, alt-country band’s future to spend much time looking back. Hood formed Drive-By Truckers with his longtime friend and musical partner, Mike Cooley, in 1996 in Athens, Ga. Hood noted that last August, he and Cooley hit a milestone of their own: 30 years of playing together. “We didn’t really commemorate it very much at all, other than I think maybe we said something about it one night live or something,” Hood says. “I’m still thinking in terms of how we’re looking forward more than back.” In fact, even as he takes a minute to look back, the nagging worries of a busy musician keep snapping him back to now. The Truckers’ latest release is a sprawling live album called It’s Great to Be Alive!, and it covers the band’s long discography pretty succinctly—featuring at least one song from each of their 10 studio albums and even going back to Hood and Cooley’s former band, Adam’s House Cat. It was released in October, but the manufacturing company can’t seem to get the vinyl release pressed in time, a common problem for artists working in an age when wax is hot again. “Hopefully, the vinyl will all be manufactured by June,” Hood says with a laugh. “I’ll probably still be waiting for it to trickle out of the fuckin’ manufacturing company. So, that’ll be my celebration.” Supply hiccups aside, the Drive-By Truckers are in a really good place as a band, Hood says. In just the past few months, they’ve harnessed the energy to write and record a good chunk of the new album already. Just recently, the band was able to record nine songs together in a three-day stretch. Hood plans on playing some of those songs on his solo tour. Playing solo after the band’s own tour wraps up at the end of the year has become somewhat of a tradition for Hood in the past couple years. “It’s just fun,” he says. “It gives me a chance to play the songs from the solo records and pull out some other Truckers songs in a more intimate setting—and also come in with some new songs.” About those new songs: If all goes according to plan, Drive-By Truckers fans will be able to hear the band’s 11th studio album sometime in 2016. Hood describes the record as more contemporary in its themes than anything they’ve done before, and the past year or so of American politics has given the Truckers plenty of material to work with. “It’ll probably be pretty timely being an election-year record,” Hood says. One of the songs on the record was inspired by an essay Hood wrote in The New York Times Magazine this past summer, which addressed the controversy of the Confederate battle flag following June’s racially motivated massacre in Charleston, S.C.

Andy Tennille

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PATTERSON HOOD

Living a y’all-ternative lifestyle: Patterson Hood Hood is a prolific writer in media outside of songwriting, but his work will often help to inspire new music along the way. Just as he has with his music, Hood’s writing digs deep into the complex heritage of the American South. Hood wrote in his Times essay: “The South loves myths and legends, and while they may have roots in the truth, they often overlook certain complexities. … As a songwriter, I’ve spent the better part of my career trying to capture both the Southern storytelling tradition and the details the tall tales left out.” Beyond that, there are piles of unpublished stories and a few screenplays and novels he still tinkers with when he has the time. Hood’s most recent solo album, 2012’s Heat Lightning Rumbles in the Distance, was actually born out of an autobiographical novel Hood was working on about being a struggling musician in his 20s. The idea was to break up the narrative with songs written by the main character. Pretty soon, the songs began coming easier than the story. “It feels important to my growth as a writer to try these things,” Hood says. As for the story itself? “I don’t think that one’s meant to be,” he says. Hood isn’t sure if he’s ready to sit down and have another go at writing about his own past. Not yet. “I’ve had a pretty great adventure, but, right now, I’m still more into having it than writing about it.” CW

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’T

is the season to celebrate… the season! And there’s not a more unlikely crew to host a holiday festivity than local punk band Racist Kramer. The ensemble of 20-somethings is sardonically named after a 2006 incident in which actor/comedian Michael Richards, known as Kramer on TV’s Seinfeld, unleashed the N-word on a heckler during a stand-up performance. The incident might be almost forgotten in the short-attention-span world of the 24-hour news cycle, but the name stuck with the band, which formed shortly after. Singer/guitarist C.J. Coop admits the name started out as a joke. “A few members of the band didn’t even like the name, but we just kept it because it was catchy. We were going to change it, but then we had a show booked and didn’t give the promoter a name. We decided it would get the most laughs.” The band is keeping alive the hallowed tradition of ridiculoussounding band names in punk-rock music. They started playing together in 2007 with a few friends, and turned toward an upbeat, poppy punk sound inspired by bands like Bad Religion, NOFX, Lagwagon and others. Coop says, “We started writing our own music, and it turned out to be really loud and fast!” The band has recorded a seven-song disc with studio whiz Andy Patterson, but Coop says they mostly demo their music and share it with friends. It’s part of the old DIY punk-rock spirit. Punk Rock Xmas started several years ago as a gathering of friends during the holidays. Drummer Jared Mackay says they called it Friends-mas. “All our friends shared the same love of punk-rock music. It started as a gettogether. Then it became, ‘Why don’t we have some of our friends play and put on a show?’ ” It evolved into an actual event, and this year will be held at Urban Lounge.

Racist Kramer

Punk-Rock Xmas has been in its present form for three years. Last year’s was held at Bar Deluxe. The band’s members bemoan the loss of clubs like it and Burt’s Tiki Lounge. “There’s really no more places like it that would host a lot of the punk-rock shows that came through town,” Mackay complains. They were glad when Urban Lounge owners Lance Saunders and Will Sartain, who are friends with bassist James Peterson, stepped up to host the show, but they still gripe about the lack of punk venues in town. The band’s energetic music should be a bracing alternative to the usual seasonal musical fare around town. They’ve played the Warped Tour, and though a number of their performance videos are on YouTube, they joke that a cover of Disconnected’s “Face to Face” is “our best song.” At a time of year when hope and good cheer are mandatory, it’s an encouraging sign that someone is keeping old-school punk-rock alive and, even more so, that they don’t take it too seriously. In addition to Racist Kramer, the show on Dec. 23 will feature the band I’m a Monster, and members of local bands Fail to Follow and Wasnatch (who just might have the most awkward album cover of all time) sitting in on a program including lots of covers of punk songs of the ’90s, as well as original material. You can be assured it’ll all be as irreverent as their name. “We’ll be playing a couple of punk-rock- style Christmas covers,” Coop explains, “kinda goofy holiday satire.” In a strange way, Racist Kramer’s PunkRock Xmas is an endearing and heartfelt musical gift to local music fans, especially the punk-rock scene. Coop jokes, “A lot of drunk, lonely friends who don’t have anywhere else to go—this is for them.” CW

PUNK ROCK XMAS

w/ Racist Kramer, I’m a Monster, Wasnatch, Fail to Follow The Urban Lounge 241 S. 500 East 801-746-0557 Wednesday, Dec. 23 9 p.m. Free UrbanLoungeSLC.com

WEDNESDAY/SUNDAY

SATURDAY

ugly christmas sweater party

& contest w/ l.o.l.

No cover if wearing ugly christmas sweater

SUNDAY & MONDAY

football on the big screens! Wednesdays 7pm-10pm $5 cover

free give aways, food & drink specials home of the steel city mafia!

sundays 12pm-3pm no cover

N ASO E S T. ALL RE! B LL THIRS T O E R FOOTBA SPECIAL U O H Y FO H C IS TICKET TO QUEN R, PULLED PORK 1 TACOS

& THE ERS OF RAINE POUNDERS, $ ETWORK D R ACK 12 N OSAS, $2 POUN WAYS, $2 RAINE P E H T E WE HAV RUNCH, $2 MIM & CASH GIVE A B SUNDAY AMES FOR SWAG ,G Y A D N MO

TUESDAY

FRI SAT

taco tuesday 2 for $2

JAZZ AT THE 90 LIVE JAZZ BRUNCH dec 16: jay lawrence quartet dec 20: alan michaels quartet w/ david halliday dec 27: david halliday trio dec 23: tom young quartet

(with beverage purchase)

free karaoke w/ zimzam ent 8pm COMING SOON

enjoy food & drinks

WED: TEXAS HOLD ‘EM - FREE 8PM

HIGHLAND live music HERBAN EMPIRE ISAAC FARR TRIO MAD MAX MAGICAL MANIC MONDAY NIGHT MONEY MACHINE.

MNF

the crafty crew craft class

Dec 16th: new years ball - 7pm Dec 17th: santa’s underwear stocking - 7pm Dec 19th: big christmas wreath - noon

call to reserve your spot!

FRIDAY / SATURDAY

December 18th & December 19th - LIve band

l.o.l.

IT’S YOUR CHANCE TO GRAB COLD HARD CASH AT HALF TIME AND GAME’S END. $1 TACOS $2 RAINIER POUNDERS

TUE

GEEKS WHO DRINK

SUN & THURS MON &

OLD WEST POKER TOURNAMENT

TUESDAY NIGHTS

STARTS @ 7PM

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GEEKS WHO DRINK

TUESDAY NIGHTS

SUN &

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MON &

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TUES

HOME OF THE “SING OF FIRE” SALT LAKE’S HOTTEST KARAOKE COMPETITION

STARTS @ 7PM

8136 SO. STATE ST

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• OREM 1680 N. STATE: 226-6090

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MODEL CLOSE-OUTS, DISCONTINUED ITEMS AND SOME SPECIALS ARE LIMITED TO STOCK ON HAND AND MAY INCLUDE DEMOS. PRICES GUARANTEED THRU 12/23/15

EAT AT SUE’S! YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD BAR · FREE GAME ROOM, AS ALWAYS!

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DECEMBER ,17 2015 | 51

FREE LAYAWAY

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$1 TACOS, $2 RAINIER POUNDERS

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FREE TO PLAY NUMBERS BOARD 11 60” TV’S 2 JD PROJECTORS,

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10AM TO 7PM

SLC 2763 S. STATE: 485-0070

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W W W. S O U N DWA R E H O U S E .C O M HOURS

MONDAY– SATURDAY CLOSED SUNDAY

MUSIC BY QUINN BROWN PROJECT: BAD SANTA, PHOTOGRAPHER & TOYS FOR TOTS DRIVE

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STATE live music

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THUR

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Monday @ 8pm

breaking bingo

wednesdays @ 8pm

geeks who drink

live music sunday afternoons & evenings 2021 s. windsor st. (west of 900 east)

801.484.6692 I slctaproom.com

We carry e-cigarette supplies including juices, atomizers, and mods • Kangertech • • Firefly • • Mention This • For Add

Aspire Pax Volcano and more

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THIS WEEK’S MUSIC PICKS

854 South State Street 801-532-9002

LIVE

COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE CITYWEEKLY.NET RANDY HARWARD

THURSDAY 12.17

Rock En Español: Cenizas Ajenas, Leyenda Oculta

Rock & roll sounds muy chingon in Spanish. In the past decade, acts like the Mexican Institute of Sound, Rodrigo y Gabriela, Del Castillo and The Pinker Tones have helped further the cause of Latin alternative music (a catchall term for pretty much any popular music from Spain, Mexico or Central and South America). Before that, were heard of big-name Mexican rock bands from Mexico like La Cuca, Café Tacvba, Maná or Jaguares. Alongside that, there was Los Lobos, and Tito Larriva with Tito and Tarantula (see Robert Rodriguez’s Desperado and From Dusk Till Dawn), the Cruzados and The Plugz (see Alex Cox’s Repo Man). And then there was Azteca, Santana and The Blazers. Utah has its own Latino rock bands—even an Aztec-themed black metal band in Yaotl Mictlan. Tonight’s bill features two great Latino rock bands from Utah. Cenizas Ajenas, who land somewhere between Del Castillo (sans the flamenco guitar) and the arena rock of La Cuca, and Leyenda Oculta, which leans more punk/metal, with hints of rockabilly in songs like “El Rey” that may betray Tito’s influence on the band (and be a possible nod to Elvis—”the King”). Liquid Joe’s, 1249 E. 3300 South, 8 p.m., $5, LiquidJoes.net

RL Grime

The Lovestrange THURSDAY, FRIDAY & SATURDAY 12.17, 18, 19 SATURDAY 12.19 Food Drive Festival Nights 1, 2 & 3 In the spirit of the holidays, Kilby Court presents three nights of local music at bargain prices. Three bucks and a few cans of food (or three extra ducats) is the nightly price of admission Thursday, Friday and Saturday night. The first-night lineup features the killer ‘80s-influenced trio The Lovestrange along with Lazy Susan and Magic Flip. Night 2 is post-hardcore/spoken word act Sights with Aspen Grove and Shape of Color, and the third night has indie folksters Little Barefoot with Small Lake City and Soft Limbs. Dig all the fruit cocktail and Dinty Moore stew out of your cupboards and hit up all three nights if you can. Kilby Court, 741 S. 330 West, 7 p.m., $3 with cans of food, $6 without, KilbyCourt.com

FRIDAY 12.18 RL Grime

Before releasing the 2014 album Void (WeDidIt), DJ/producer RL Grime dropped six EPs between 2011 and 2013, three of which are under the name RL Grime, a nod to one of the many EDM styles he works in (the others being hip-hop, trap and bass). His other three EPs are as Clockwork. If you then consider the heap of remixes he’s done for the likes of the Beastie Boys, Jamie Lidell, Kaskade and Chief Keef (plus, yawn, mainstream lowest common denoms like Chris Brown, Rihanna and The Weeknd), that’s a pretty impressive output for a guy (real name: Henry Steinway) barely entering his mid-20s. It’s also a huge well to draw from for tonight’s set. Jorden Odegard opens. Park City Live, 427 Main, 9 p.m., $25-50, ParkCityLive.net

DMXmas

Hey—got time for 69 seconds of fun? Go to YouTube and search these terms: DMX and Rudolph. That’ll get you a clip of hardcore rapper DMX applying his gruff style to an a cappella version of “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.” You’re already smiling, huh? Wait’ll you hear—and see—the dude getting way into the spirit, drumming on a desk, dancing and adding his own little touches to the tune. Even the hardest G’s (stands for grinches) gold chains will grow three sizes. Now imagine how much fun that’d be live, as part of a set of originals, less than a week before Santa and his horned crew lands on the roof of your crib. JR The Superstar opens. Park City Live, 427 Main St., 9 p.m., $35-75, ParkCityLive.net »

DMX

AT THE BEST 12.23 MATT CALDER

12.18 STONEFED

12.26 BACKWASH

12.19 DEVIL’S CLUB

12.30 MICHAEL DALLIN

3200 E BIG COTTONWOOD RD. | 801.733.5567 THEHOGWALLOW.COM

DECEMBER ,17 2015 | 53

12.17 JOHN DAVIS

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SATURDAY 12.19 The Spazmatics

Eighties music and nerds go together like wine and cheese. Or is it cheese and whine? The music of that decade is totally cheesy and totally awesome. And nerds whine about forgetting their inhalers or getting bullied. But, as Revenge of the Nerds and Tom Petty taught us, even the losers get lucky sometimes. Like when they form franchise bands and conquer the cover-band club scenes in towns like Salt Lake City and Austin (and Los Angeles, New York City, Seattle…) and move on to Comic Con. Salt Lake City’s version of such a band is called Spazmatics, and they’re playing every Saturday this month. You’ll geek out over their set, which includes everything from Prince to Billy Idol to Bon Jovi and Cyndi Lauper. You may even wanna have them sign your inhalers, if you didn’t leave them next to your humidifier. Nerds. Liquid Joe’s, 1249 E. 3300 South, 8:30 p.m., LiquidJoes.net

MONDAY 12.21

54 | DECEMBER ,17 2015

The Spazmatics

Michale Graves, formerly of the Misfits

Old Misfits or New Misfits? That is, do you prefer Glenn Danzig’s original version of the horrorpunk band, the original new Misfits with Michale Graves, or the current trio fronted by original bassist Jerry Only? Say what you will about curmudgeon/dick Danzig—he made the band. Graves is lamented as a ho-hum substitute and, by some, a conservative wiener, but he helped keep The Misfits alive through the late ‘90s. Bassist Only—the last remaining O.G. Misfit—has done a decent job of holdin’ it down since. Obviously, the originals are the gold standard ‘cause the Danzig albums weren’t just the first; they’re the best—real classics. But sometimes you need a fix. And while Graves doesn’t play songs like “Last Caress,” he does perform “Static Age” and “TV Casualty” and he even covers the Ramones’ “Pet Sematary.” That’ll do nicely. The Cliterinas, Anything That Moves and Ulteriors fill out the bill. Metro Bar, 615 W. 100 South, 8:30 p.m., $10 in advance, $14 day of show, JRCSLC.com

BIG REDD PROMOTIONS PRESENTS

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 18TH

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PINKY’S

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 19TH

FAST EDDY BAND $5 AT THE DOOR 21+

4242 S. STATE 801-265-9889

GIFT CERTIFICATES AVAILABLE at

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FRIDAY 12.18

UT Blues Society Member Appreciation Party feat. The George T. Gregory Band

First things first: You do not have to join the UT Blues Society in order to get into this show. However, if you do decide to become a member, it’ll only cost about $25. That’s money wellspent if you’re a blues fan, because the UBS helps keep the music jumpin’ here in the Beehive State. In addition to a live set by tenor sax ninja George T. Gregory and his band, there will be a social hour from 7-8 p.m., where you can pick up new UBS holiday swag and peruse bins of “choice blues CDs.” Proceeds from merch sales benefit Mike Ricks, a founding father of the legendary Monday night blues shows as the Dead Goat Saloon, as well as the bass player for Rick Welter & the Tempo Timers, who lost his home in a fire earlier this month. (Randy Harward) The State Room, 638 S. State, 7 p.m., free, TheStateRoomSLC.com

LIVE MUSIC

Jazz Jam Session (Sugarhouse Coffee) Jazz Joint Thursday (Garage on Beck) Live Jazz with the Jeff Archuleta Combo (Twist) Hot Noise & Guest DJ Thursday (The Red Door)

KARAOKE & PIANO LOUNGE

FRIDAY 12.18

Après Ski + DJ Gawel + DJ Dolph (Gracie’s Bar) DJ Chaseone2 (Twist) DJ Elliott Estes (Fletcher’s) Enjoy the Bassline Friday (The Red Door) DJ Juggy + DJ Brisk + Handsome Hands (Sky Bar) DJ Lishus (Club Jam) DJ Red (Downstairs)

KARAOKE & PIANO LOUNGE

new years Eve Dueling Pianos (The Tavernacle) Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge)

COME PIG OUT ON NYE. DJ LATU SPINNING YOUR FAVORITES AS WE RING IN 2016!

SATURDAY 12.19

Weeknights

LIVE MUSIC

monday

Crimson (The Spur Bar and Grill) Devil’s Club (The Hog Wallow) DMXmas + JR the Superstar (Park City Live) p. 52 Dusty Boxcars (Deer Valley) Food Drive Festival Night (Kilby Court) p. 52 Funk & Gonzo (Johnny’s on Second) Jim Guss (Sugarhouse Coffee) Jordan Young (Garage on Beck) Joy Spring Band (Sugarhouse Coffee) Kilt Night (Piper Down Pub) Live Trio Saturday (The Red Door) Made Monsters (Sky Bar) Melting Rain + White Collar Caddy + The Cardboard Club + Our Lives In Indigo (The Loading Dock) Patterson Hood (The State Room) p. 48 Platinum Party (Scofy’s) Preston Creed (Gracie’s Bar) Robyn Cage (Prime Piano Bar) Smiling Souls (The Royal) The Spazmatics (Liquid Joe’s) p. 54 Stonefed (Fats Grill)

OUR FAMOUS OPEN BLUES JAM WITH WEST TEMPLE TAILDRAGGERS

Great food $

tuesday

LOCAL NIGHTS OUT

wednesday

THE TRIVIA FACTORY 7PM

Every sunday ADULT TRIVIA 7PM

5 lunch special MONDAY - FRIDAY

chaseone2 (Gracie’s Bar) DJ Latu (Green Pig) DJ Scooter + DJ Juggy (Downstairs) DJ Sneaky Long (Twist) Flash & Flare (The Urban Lounge)

KARAOKE & PIANO LOUNGE Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge)

OPEN MIC & JAM

10 brunch buffet

SATURDAYS FROM 11AM-2PM $

12 sunday funday brunch $3 BLOODY MARYS & $3 MIMOSAS FROM 10AM-2PM

Joy Spring Band (Jazz) (Sugarhouse Coffee)

31 east 400 SOuth • SLC

801-532-7441 • HOURS: 11AM - 2AM

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DECEMBER ,17 2015 | 55

Dueling Pianos (The Tavernacle) Karaoke (A Bar Named Sue) Karaoke (A Bar Named Sue on State) Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge) Live Band Karaoke w/ This Is Your Band (Club 90) Ogden Unplugged (Lighthouse Lounge) Thursday Night Karaoke (Club Habits)

DJ LATU

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Saturday, december 19

OPEN MIC & JAM

WILL BAXTER BAND

Alex Metric + Flash & Flare + Bello (Elevate) Arrested Development + HeaveN Beatbox (Club at 50 West) Cenizas Ajenas + Leyenda Oculta + Infusion Rock (Liquid Joe’s) p. 52 EDX (Sky Bar) David Halliday & Jazz Vespers Quartet (Gallivan Center) Food Drive Festival Night (Kilby Court) p. 52 John Davis (The Hog Wallow) Live Jazz with the Jeff Archuleta Combo (Twist) Marmalade Chill (Gracie’s Bar) MIJA + Nate Lowpass + Guillotine (The Hotel & Elevate) Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas Concert (LDS Conference Center) Reggae Thursday! (The Woodshed) Shannon Runyon Duo (The Spur Bar and Grill)

Candy’s River House (The Spur Bar and Grill) Canyons + Six Impossible Things (Garage on Beck) p. 56 Food Drive Festival Night (Kilby Court) p. 52 Lark & Spur 10-Year Celebration (Viridian Center) LOL (Club 90) Mark Owens (The Westerner Club) MC Magic + Lighter Shade of Brown +Sike Dogg + Silverstate Familia + Tre Duce Ent + Tres Leches + Young Raza + Fly Mex Mob +| Demonio 818 & Reyna Azteca + K.O.H (Liquid Joe’s) Merry Blissmas (The Royal) Mt. Eden + TinkFu + Soca + Chris Wells (Area 51) Nathan Osmond + Melody Pulsipher + Sala Campos + Rian Kukla + Charise Payne + SwagDJ (The Depot) Quiet Oaks + The Bully + Will Sartain + Coyote Vision Group + The Hound Mystic + Daisy & The Moonshines + Kelli Moyle + Microwave Mountain (The Urban Lounge) RL Grime (Park City Live) p. 52 Stonefed (The Hog Wallow) Talia Keys (Fats Grill) UT Blues Society Member Appreciation Party (The State Room) p. 55 Vampires Everywhere + Consider Me Dead + Set to Stun (The Loading Dock) Will Baxter Band (The Green Pig) Wulf Blitzer + Sights Declith (The Woodshed)

Friday, december 18

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THURSDAY 12.17

LIVE MUSIC

LIVE Music

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56 | DECEMBER ,17 2015

CONCERTS & CLUBS

CITY WEEKLY’S HOT LIST FOR THE WEEK

COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE @ CITYWEEKLY.NET

@CityWeekly Bad Luck & Trouble is All i crave

A night of Delta Blues, Outlaw Country & Rocky Mountain Rock & Roll

Friday, Dec.18 9:30pm-1:00am

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FRIDAY 12.18

A Festivus for the Rest of Us feat. Canyons & Six Impossible Things

So regular holiday celebrations ain’t your thing—how about Festivus, which is to holidays what Krampus is to holiday figureheads and what the Flying Spaghetti Monster is to deities. You know, a change of pace. Something different for a change. And a holiday celebration featuring Canyons’ summery folk-rock tunes and the breezy, harmonious jazz folk of Six Impossible Things sounds pretty good right now. Also, it’ll be nice to get a few things off the ol’ chest during the airing of grievances. (Randy Harward) The Garage on Beck, 1199 Beck St., 9 p.m., GarageOnBeck.com

SUNDAY 12.20 LIVE MUSIC

Candy’s River House (Alta Peruvian Lodge) JT Draper (Garage on Beck) Live Jazz Brunch (Club 90) Live Bluegrass (Club 90) Mike Rogers (Deer Valley)

KARAOKE & LOUNGE

Dueling Pianos (The Spur Bar and Grill) Karaoke (A Bar Named Sue) Karaoke Bingo (The Tavernacle) Karaoke Church (Club JAM) Karaoke That Doesn’t Suck (The Woodshed)

OPEN MIC & JAM

Open Mic (Alchemy Coffee) Open Mic Night (The Royal) Open Mic Night (Velour) Open Mic Night (The Wall) Whistling Rufus (Sugarhouse Coffee)

KARAOKE & PIANO LOUNGE Karaoke (The Woodshed) Karaoke (Keys on Main) Karaoke with ZimZam Ent (Club 90)

MONDAY 12.21

WEDNESDAY 12.23

LIVE MUSIC

Bell Witch + Wrekmeister Harmonies (Diabolical Records) Lorin Walker Madsen (Spur Bar & Grill) Michale Graves + The Cliterinas + Anything That Moves + Sounds to Subvert (Metro Bar) p. 54 Open Blues Band (The Green Pig) Vinyl Tapestries + Tarot Death Card + HALLOVVED (Kilby Court)

KARAOKE & PIANO LOUNGE Karaoke (A Bar Named Sue on Highland) Karaoke (Piper Down) Karaoke (Poplar Street Pub)

OPEN MIC & JAM

Open Blues Jam (The Green Pig) Monday Night Jazz Session (Gracie’s Bar)

TUESDAY 12.22 LIVE MUSIC

TUE – FRI 11AM TO 7PM • SAT 10AM TO 6PM • CLOSED SUN & MON LIKE US ON OR VISIT WWW.RANDYSRECORDS.COM • 801.532.4413

Lorin Walker Madsen (Donkey Tails) Then I Fly (The Loading Dock) Whistling Rufus (Sugarhouse Coffee)

Alicia Stockman (The Spur Bar & Grill) Batty Blue + Kyle Linder + Cephas + BANCHO (Kilby Court) Eric Anthony (Gracie’s Bar) Hell Jam (Devil’s Daughter)

A.M. BUMP (Gracie’s Bar) Amtrac (Sky Bar) In Color (Kilby Court) Kurt Bestor (Egyptian Theatre) Matt Calder (The Hog Wallow) Natural Roots + Makisi (Liquid Joe’s) Patrick Kenney and Bob (Alta Peruvian Lodge) Racist Kramer + I’m a Monster! + Fail to Follow + Wasnatch (The Urban Lounge) p. 50 Steve Bassett (Fats Grill) Talia Keys (The Spur Bar & Grill)

DJ Matty Mo (Willie’s Lounge)

KARAOKE & LOUNGE

Areaoke (Area 51) Jazz at the 90 (Club 90) Karaoke (Devil’s Daughter) Karaoke (Johnny’s on Second) Karaoke (Liquid Joe’s) Karaoke (The Wall) Ultimate Karaoke (The Royal) Wednesduhh! Karaoke (Club Jam)

OPEN MIC & JAM

Jam Night Featuring Dead Lake Trio (The Woodshed)

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ESCORTS

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Aria

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Treat Yourself and We’ll Treat You

(801) 307-8199

DECEMBER 17, 2015 | 57

ÂŠ 2015

BY DAVID LEVINSON WILK

ACROSS

46. Pizzeria offering that translates to "pant leg" 50. Coffee cake variety 51. It shouldn't be taken literally 52. Not ____ (mediocre) 56. Fountain offering 58. Varieties 61. Recycling ____ 62. Dog command 63. "However ..." 64. A/C meas. 65. "You betcha!"

Last weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s answers

No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

5. Stone and Stallone 6. Santa ____ winds 7. Place for a margarita's salt 8. Network which aired the rant by Rick Santelli in 2009 that ended up inspiring the Tea Party movement 9. Doctor's request 10. Nightmare cause 11. Ben & Jerry's ice cream flavor with pretzels, peanut butter and fudge 12. "I give up!" 13. Elbows 18. Like Abercrombie & Fitch clothing 22. Stereotypical parrot name 23. Fireplace insert 24. Pack again for shipping 25. "Sesame Street" character who, in her 2006 debut on the show, has Maria fix her magic wand 27. Classless kid? 28. Pipe material for Frosty the Snowman 32. Tussaud, for one DOWN 37. Ire 1. It's often seen next to rum or rummy 38. Aristocratic 2. mouthhealthy.org org. 40. Russian pancakes 3. Band with the 1991 hit "Shiny Happy People" 41. In a vulgar way 4. 1961 Yevgeny Yevtushenko poem which 44. Mournful poems Khrushchev rebuked and Shostakovich put to music

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9.

1. Outfits 6. Story lines 10. Certain bra specification 14. Perfectionist's goal 15. Ship that sailed "the ocean blue" 16. "Yeah ... I don't think so" 17. Lacking vigor 19. Crud 20. Medit. country 21. Qualified 23. Just for Men target 26. End of the line? 29. Comic strip character named for an English philosopher 30. First name in country 31. Formal occasion 33. Myrna of "The Thin Man" 34. This ans. is one 35. "____ vida" (Costa Rica slogan) 36. "Mean Girls" star 39. Item on a Christmas list 40. Appropriate time, one might say, to solve 17- and 60-Across and 11- and 25-Down 42. Game with Wild Draw 4 cards 43. Stand out in a field 45. Org. with eligibility rules 46. Bygone NYC punk club 47. Will Smith title role 48. Hanks and Harkin 49. Son of Eve 50. They succeeded the Cheneys 53. Boar's head? 54. Apollo plucked it 55. Some sonata movements 57. Claiborne of couture 59. Benjamin Netanyahu, to friends 60. Chain that boasts its 600+ stores average 55,000 square feet 66. Bryant of the NBA 67. He appears but does not talk in the 2004 movie "Garfield" 68. Rockne of Notre Dame fame 69. Tan and other 70. Zingy taste 71. Trap

SUDOKU

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58 | DECEMBER 17, 2015

CROSSWORD PUZZLE

INSIDE / COMMUNITY BEAT PG. 59 | SHOP GIRL PG. 60 | POETS CORNER PG.60 FREE WILL ASTROLOGY PG. 61 | UTAH JOB CENTER PG. 62 | URBAN LIVING PG. 63

COMMUNITY

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NYE TICKETS

NEW YEARS EVE

HOT BUTTER RUM THE STATE ROOM · 21+

PRICE: $45.00

DECEMBER 29TH-31ST

Ruby Snap is available for catering.

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Need something to sip while you snack on your sugary treat? RubySnap offers fine coffees from Publik, Bali Kopi and Crio Bru (cocoa beans brewed like tea) and hot chocolate ($2.50 per cup). Jazz up your drink with add-ins like cardamom, ginger or agave alongside milk and cream. Those who want the decadence of RubySnap—and who enjoy baking at home—can purchase RubySnap cookie dough at its flagship store or in the frozen-food aisle of Harmons and Whole Foods. A bag of frozen cookie dough retails at $7.99. RubySnap also features a flavor-of-the-month and a secret menu at its flagship location, so pop in on occasion and see what’s new. n

DINING

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he holidays are hectic for everyone, so if you want to check one item off your to-do list, consider buying the treats for your party at RubySnap. RubySnap makes some of the best cookies in the valley from all-natural, premium ingredients—bound to impress family, friends and co-workers. With flavors like the Audrey (almond dough with dried cranberries and white chocolate), the Frida (a spicy chocolate cookie with a chile de arbol ganache center), the Lola (a lemon cookie made with curd and bitters) or the Maris (a chocolate chocolate-chip cookie with a gooey caramel center), RubySnap has something for everyone to drool over. “I love the Mia [a vanilla-bean sugar cookie with butter cream beet frosting],” says Salt Lake City resident Hailey Woodside. “But I’ve never had a bad cookie at RubySnap.” Its cookies start at $2.50 per cookie, but goes down the more cookies you order. Order a dozen cookies for $23—a savings of 24 percent per cookie. Those who can’t decide on a flavor should pop into RubySnap’s store where the employees, who are just as sweet as the cookies, will offer a sample or two. “I love the people I work with and the people who come in,” says employee Michelle Brockman. “I’ve never had a customer who is angry or upset. There’s something about getting cookies ... about the tone of RubySnap. We just have the nicest customers.” Brockman, who says her dream job other than RubySnap would have been delivering flowers, has worked there for seven months. “Selling cookies is even better,” she says. “You’re delivering sugar and fat in a beautiful presentation.”

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RUBYSNAP 770 S. 300 West 801-834-6111 Monday-Saturday 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. RubySnap.com

Ruby Snap cookies can be ordered online and delivered to your doorstep.

PIZZA PIZZA TH E B EST IN TOWN

DECEMBER ,17 2015 | 59

BOOK STORE

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60 | DECEMBER ,17 2015

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I do not understand, Father Why the USA But from this opportunity, I promise I will build monuments of poverty, love and sacrifice I will do it for the ones who fight and crumble to ashes The ones who, from their fear, and fragile voice CANNOT SPEAK FOR A CHANGE DO NOT TELL ME WHY I WILL SHOW YOU WHY You did it— From the ashes of your labor I will build these monuments— And should I fail . . . Should I fail . . .

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in magic: For adults, to believe means we go out of our way to give a little something to the postal carrier, our children’s teachers, a family in need and the homeless shelter in our community. We believe that, for a moment in time, we can help humanity and make a difference. In essence, the holidays represent magic for all ages. Savor these fairy-tale moments with your child, because the saying that “children grow up too soon” is so true. Below are some gifts I have hand-selected for children from local shops.

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Maileg Mom & Dad Mice in a Cigar Box, $51 Baby Mouse in a Matchbox $33. The Children’s Hour, 898 S. 900 East, Salt Lake City, 801-359-4150, ChildrensHourBookstore.com. Maileg is a Danish design brand that makes award-winning bunnies, mice, toys and playsets. Each piece is whimsical and precious and most animals have removable clothes. They have a big selection of other mouse and bunny family members.

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CHRISTA ZARO comments@cityweekly.net

ince becoming a mom eight years ago, I realize that Christmas is all about children. Sure, I love exchanging gifts with my husband, brothers and sisters—and my mom and dad—but nothing makes my heart as full as the twinkling eyes of a child on Christmas morning upon gazing at the colorfully wrapped gifts under the tree. I have to admit Christmas is unusual because it requires of us, no matter our age, to believe

Send your poem (max 15 lines), to: Poet’s Corner, City Weekly, 248 South Main Street, SLC, UT 84101 or e-mail to poetscorner@cityweekly.net.

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Tribute Kendama, $22.99. The Tutoring Toy. Traditional Japanese toy with three cups and a spike to catch the ball attached with a string. Great for hand-eye coordination and hours of fun. (In assorted colors.) n

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY B Y R O B

B R E Z S N Y

Go to RealAstrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes. Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.

ARIES (March 21-April 19) The Neanderthals were a different human species that co-existed with our ancestors, Homo sapiens, for at least 5,000 years. But they eventually died out while our people thrived. Why? One reason, says science writer Marcus Chown, is that we alone invented sewing needles. Our newborn babies had well-made clothes to keep them warm and healthy through frigid winters. Neanderthal infants, covered with ill-fitting animal skins, had a lower survival rate. Chown suggests that although this provided us with a mere 1 percent survival advantage, that turned out to be significant. I think you’re ready to find and use a small yet ultimately crucial edge like that over your competitors, Aries.

I urge you to go deeper down and further in. Cultivate a more conscious connection with the core resources you sometimes take for granted. This is one time when delving into the darkness can lead you to pleasure and treasure. As you explore, keep in mind this advice from author T. Harv Eker: “In every forest, on every farm, in every orchard on earth, what’s under the ground creates what’s above the ground. That’s why placing your attention on the fruits you have already grown is futile. You can’t change the fruits that are already hanging on the tree. But you can change tomorrow’s fruits. To do so, you will have to dig below the ground and strengthen the roots.”

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DECEMBER ,17 2015 | 61

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) In the coming weeks, the pursuit of pleasure could drain your creative powers, diminish your collaborative possibilities and TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Artist Robert Barry created “30 Pieces,” an installation that con- wear you out. But it’s also possible that the pursuit of pleasure sisted of pieces of paper on which he had typed the following state- will enhance your creative powers, synergize your alliances ment: “Something which is very near in place and time, but not yet and lead you to new opportunities. Which way will you go? It known to me.” According to my reading of the astrological omens, all depends on the kinds of pleasures you pursue. The dumb, this theme captures the spirit of the phase you’re now entering. But numbing, mediocre type will shrink your soul. The smart, I think it will evolve in the coming weeks. First it’ll be: “Something intriguing, invigorating variety will expand your mind. Got all which is very near in place and time, and is becoming known to me.” that? Say “hell, no” to trivializing decadence so you can say By mid-January it could turn into “Something which is very near and “wow, yes” to uplifting bliss. dear, and has become known to me.” SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) Garnets are considered less valuable than diamonds. But out GEMINI (May 21-June 20) “There is in every one of us, even those who seem to be most in the wild, there’s an intimate connection between these two moderate, a type of desire that is uncanny, wild and lawless.” gemstones. Wherever you find garnets near the surface of the Greek philosopher Plato wrote that in his book The Republic, earth, you can be reasonably sure that diamonds are buried and I’m bringing it to your attention just in time for your Season deeper down in the same location. Let’s use this relationship of Awakening and Deepening Desire. The coming days will be as a metaphor for your life, Sagittarius. I suspect you have a time when you can, if you choose, more fully tune in to the recently chanced upon a metaphorical version of garnets, or uncanny, wild and lawless aspects of your primal yearnings. will do so soon. Maybe you should make plans to search for the But wait a minute! I’m not suggesting you should immediately bigger treasure toward which they point the way. take action to gratify them. For now, just feel them and observe them. Find out what they have to teach you. Wait until the new CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Ready for the Cool Anger Contest? You can earn maximum year before you consider the possibility of expressing them. points by expressing your dissatisfaction in ways that generate the most constructive transformations. Bonus points will CANCER (June 21-July 22) Congratulations! You have broken all your previous records for be awarded for your ability to tactfully articulate complicated doing boring tasks that are good for you. In behalf of the other feelings, as well as for your emotionally intelligent analyses that 11 signs, I thank you for your heroic, if unexciting, campaign of inspire people to respond empathetically rather than defenself-improvement. You have not only purified your emotional sively. What are the prizes? First prize is a breakthrough in your resources and cleared out some breathing room for yourself, but relationship with an ally who could be crucial to your expansion you have also made it easier for people to help you and feel close in 2016. Second prize is a liberation from one of your limiting to you. Your duty has not yet been completed, however. There beliefs. are a few more details to take care of before the gods of healthy tedium will be finished with you. But start looking for signs of AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) your big chance to make a break for freedom. They’ll arrive soon. A fourth-century monk named Martin was a pioneer winemaker in France. He founded the Marmoutier Abbey and planted vineyards on the surrounding land. According to legend, LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) The English word “fluke” means “lucky stroke.” It was originally used Martin’s donkey had a crucial role in lifting viticulture out of in the game of billiards when a player made a good shot that he or its primitive state. Midway through one growing season, the she wasn’t even trying to accomplish. Later, its definition expanded beast escaped its tether and nibbled on a lot of the grapevines. to include any fortuitous event that happens by chance rather than All the monks freaked out, fearing that the crop was wrecked. because of skill: good fortune generated accidentally. I suspect that you But ultimately the grapes grew better than they had in previous are about to be the beneficiary of what may seem to be a series of flukes, years, and the wine they produced was fabulous. Thus was born Leo. In at least one case, though, your lucky break will have been earned the practice of pruning, which became de rigueur for all grapegrowers. What’s your equivalent of Martin’s donkey, Aquarius? by the steady work you’ve done without any fanfare. I bet it’ll exert its influence very soon. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) You may not have to use a literal crowbar in the coming weeks, but PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) this rough tool will serve you well as a metaphor. Wherever you go, “The deepest urge in human nature is the desire to be imporimagine that you’ve got one with you. Why? It’s time to jimmy open tant,” said educator John Dewey. If that’s true, Pisces, you are glued-shut portals … to pry loose mental blocks … to coax unyield- on the verge of having your deepest urge fulfilled more than it ing influences to budge … to nudge intransigent people free of their has in a long time. The astrological alignments suggest that fixations. Anything that is stuck or jammed needs to get unstuck or you are reaching the peak of your value to other people. You’re unusually likely to be seen and appreciated and acknowledged unjammed through the power of your willful intervention. for who you really are. If you have been underestimating your worth, I doubt you will be able to continue doing so. Here’s your LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) The coming weeks will be a favorable time for you to consort with homework: Take a realistic inventory of the ways your life has hidden depths and unknown riches. In every way you can imagine, had a positive impact on the lives of people you have known.

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House Porn C

ruising the Interweb for house porn is just plain fun. When the kids are in bed, that’s when you’ll find Mom and Dad on their iPads, looking at dream homes. Sales data in the multiple-listing service is not published on public sites. Zillow relies on public records and Utah is not a public-disclosure state when it comes to real estate sales prices, so their “Zestimates” are not accurate. Allow me to indulge your real-estate fantasies for a moment or two this season. The highest sales price reported of a Utah property in 2015 was of a new home in Park City in a gated area called The Colony. The 17,606-square-foot home has eight bedrooms, 10 bathrooms, eight fireplaces and a four-car garage on five acres of mountain land, and it is a ski-in/ski-out location. It was sold for $12,750,000 by Summit Sotheby’s International Realty in Park City. That company also holds the record this year for the highest sale of a condominium, at the Montage in Deer Valley. Condo buyers got all catty a few years ago when City Creek in downtown Salt Lake City was built and condos were selling for $600 per square foot. This 4,870-square-foot Montage unit sold for $7.5 million, or $1,540 per foot. There were four bedrooms, five baths and three fireplaces, all on one level of the 12th floor, and the HOA fee is $12,000 per quarter ($48K per year). This was one of the remaining penthouses in the building, and it had stunning views from an altitude of 8,200 feet, with seven balconies. Owners in the Montage get use of the 35,000-square-foot spa and wellness retreat on the property and access to private ski valets that warm your boots before you hit the Deer Valley slopes. If you’ve got the money, don’t panic yet—there’s another Montage unit currently for sale (through Summit Sotheby’s on the same floor). It’s a bit larger, at 5,400 square feet, and a bit more money—at $9.25 million. The most expensive home currently for sale in Utah is up in the Springville hills. The $35 million price tag includes a home with about 50,000 square feet, three levels, six bedrooms and 12 bathrooms. There’s an indoor swimming pool with water slides, a lazy river and hot tub, a movie theater (of course), bowling alley, indoor shooting range, indoor basketball court and meeting rooms. It is owned by Tom Mower, the founder of Neways and now owner of Sisel. It was built in 2010, making it one of the largest homes in the country to be built in the last few years. You can get a virtual tour of it at UtahRealEstate.com/1275695. The price just dropped from $40 million—so run to the nearest lender! If you put 20 percent down, your monthly principal and interest payment (at 5 percent per year) would be $147,626.n Content is prepared expressly for Community and is not by City Weekly staff

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