City Weekly Feb 11, 2016

C I T Y W E E K LY. N E T F E B R U A RY 1 1 , 2 0 1 6 | V O L . 3 2 N 0 . 4 0

Ballot pg. 45

Oh, Honey!

A local's guide to love & sex

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2 | FEBRUARY 11, 2016

CWCONTENTS COVER STORY OH, HONEY!

Check out our local’s guide to love & sex. Is it hot in here or is it just the inversion?

Cover and inside illustrations by Derek Carlisle

13 4 LETTERS 6 OPINION 8 NEWS 22 A&E 27 DINE 34 CINEMA 37 TRUE TV 38 MUSIC 52 COMMUNITY

PROOFREADER

LANCE GUDMUNDSEN

His sweater game is strong, and his grammar game is even stronger—Lance has been proofreading and writing for City Weekly since fall of 2015. Outside of journalism, his interests include politics, letter writing and reading biographies.

We’re more than honored to have him on our team.

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LETTERS A Little Education Is a Dangerous Thing

I’m not surprised that a Republican would propose legislation concerning firearms education [“Let’s All Go to the Legislature! Senate Bill 43,” Jan. 28, City Weekly].

Although I strongly advocate all education, based on conservative logic, won’t such education encourage children to go out and start using guns?

Conservatives won’t let us teach our children about sex because that will make them more sexually active.

JONATHAN JONES Ogden

New Concussion Protocol Needed

Molly Poletto, a University of Utah goalkeeper destined for stardom, was forced to cut her soccer career short after suffering eight concussions. Molly acknowledged that she did not give herself enough time to heal between injuries, behavior that ultimately resulted in years of speech and vision therapy, withdrawals from college courses, and shortterm memory loss.

Molly isn’t alone. Every year, thousands of studentathletes who suffer a concussion return to the field before they are fully healed, potentially resulting in serious cognitive disabilities. These disabilities can severely compromise life prospects after graduation.

Unfortunately, existing concussion protocols don’t properly protect students. The National Collegiate Athletic

WRITE US: Salt Lake City Weekly, 248 S. Main, Salt Lake City, UT 84101. Email: comments@cityweekly.net. Fax: 801-575-6106.

We reserve the right to edit for length and clarity. Preference will be given to letters that are 300 words or less and sent uniquely to City Weekly. Full name, address and phone number must be included, even on emailed submissions, for verification purposes.

Association, the organization that regulates college athletics, specifies the stages a student athlete must go through before returning to the field after a concussion. But the NCA A says little about how a student should return to the classroom.

That needs to change. A student unable to engage in academics isn’t ready for competitive athletics. Without a strong “return-to-learn” protocol alongside a “returnto-play” guideline, decision-making responsibility falls to those most reluctant to keep star athletes sidelined—the students themselves, their coaches and colleges where athletics is big business. The NCA A must implement a specific, evidence-based strategy that ensures students that have suffered a concussion can return to learn.

Currently, the return-to-play protocol relies on subjective determinations and self-reported symptoms. But athletes operate within a competitive culture that discourages reporting symptoms accurately. Indeed, five in every six suspected college football concussions go unreported.

That figure is likely similar in other high-risk sports. In fact, one-fifth of college athletes are unlikely to report concussions symptoms to a coach. Consequently, many students who look physically fine but are still struggling to regain full cognitive abilities return to play too early.

Even worse is the danger of another concussion suffered before a student-athlete has fully healed from the previous one. The student may experience severe changes in behavior and information processing abilities. Multiple

concussions can even cause permanent brain damage.

Therefore, the NCA A should implement a “return to learn” concussion protocol. This should include required medical assessments, such as neurologic exams and tests for vision and memory, to determine if a student-athlete is ready to return to learning. It should also incorporate wellness services that ensure students are mentally prepared to reintegrate into modern university life—beyond college athletics.

The NCA A must take steps to ensure students feel supported in their academic environment. Only then will student-athletes be able to return to university life ready to play and learn.

HALLIE ZWIBEL & ALICE HERON-BURKE New York Institute of Technology Center for Sports Medicine Old Westbury, N.Y.

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OPINION

Empathy Gap

Technology enchants; it makes us forget what we know about life. The new becomes confused with progress.

—Sherry Turkle “Among family and friends, among colleagues and lovers, we turn to our phones instead of each other,” writes Sherry Turkle in her latest book, Reclaiming Conversation. “We readily admit we would rather send an electronic message than commit to a face-to-face meeting or a telephone call. This new mediated life has gotten us into trouble.”

Haven’t we got enough to worry about already? Climate change, the Zika virus, Islamist terrorists, drought, GOP intrigue, income inequality, racism, gun carnage … and on and on. Now, to the unsettling list add the “empathy gap” manifesting itself in today’s children.

The empathy gap comes in for close examination by Turkle, an eminent MIT professor specializing in human interaction with technology. She avers that today’s middleschoolers have trouble with concentration, eye contact, body language and listening.

Their friendships are shallow, and their understanding of one another is attenuated.

The cause? The digital cocoon and a resultant “flight from conversation,” she writes.

“Without conversation, studies show we are less empathic, less connected, less creative and fulfilled.” Turkle’s book is an anecdotal study of “lonely kids for whom the computer offers the illusion of friendship without the demands of intimacy.”

It is not just the kids who have replaced talking with texting, communication with connection, friendship with Facebook. Adults take to their phones every 6.5 minutes to keep the neurons sparking and to allay boredom.

Teens send 100 texts a day on average. They do so, Turkle writes, not because it is efficient but because texting provides a safe distance from the give and take of human interaction. Electronic sentences can be edited and revised before they are sent. Even the person who is sending them is subject to revision. Social

BY JOHN RASMUSON

media allow you to create the person you want to be. With Facebook, the world’s a stage, and each time the curtain rises, Turkle writes, you can “perform a better version of yourself.”

The edit-and-revise option is a fairly recent one, but testing the boundaries of authenticity is not. After all, who isn’t image conscious? In a pre-Internet age, my friends and I frequented such Salt Lake City nightspots as the Crow’s Nest, Grogan’s and Torrey’s.

Conversation with girls was the goal. One friend—who adopted “Fred Quimby” as a nom du bar—would turn his Sigma Chi sweatshirt inside out to hide his membership in the fraternity. Don’t ask me why. Perhaps for a reason related to former Congressman Anthony Weiner’s decision to take “Carlos Danger” as his nom du sext.

I have no Facebook persona to groom.

I can’t find time for Twitter or Instagram.

Nevertheless, I share the empathy gap afflicting hardcore texters, emailers and their ilk.

Like them, I value the ability to choose my words deliberately, to compose sentences at a safe distance from emotional turbulence. In the past year, two of my friends have lost loved ones to tragedy; another friend was diagnosed with cancer.

In each case the news has sent me to the keyboard, not the doorbell, to painstakingly craft sentences that convey sympathy with an empathy subtext. The result is expedient, but it lacks the intimacy of face-to-face interaction.

That I am able to override the impulse to write instead of talk gives me an edge on the middle-schoolers Turkle is worried about.

What the kids need is a healthy dose of faceto-face conversation. It is the remedy they crave. Because their parents are phone junkies, kids have to compete with telephones for parental attention. It is an uphill battle.

Parents, eyes-down, even text during dinner. Denied conversation and mentoring, the kids withdraw into digital isolation. There, “friction-free friendships” are the rule; emojis take the place of emotion; and the capacity

for empathy withers.

In case you haven’t noticed, we’re sloshing around in knee-deep irony here. The device intended to convey the human voice from point to point has become a device for suppressing it. Even voicemail is passé. Too little conversation is causing empathy problems for children, but too many “national conversations” is a problem for everyone else. The “national conversation,” a favorite dodge of politicians, is the equivalent of treading water. When a politician calls for a conversation on climate change, immigration, racism, gun control—pick your favorite crisis—you can be sure nothing will be done. Satisfaction is elusive. A 2012 study at Utah Valley University concluded those who spent a lot of time on Facebook believed “others were happier and had better lives.”

Irony notwithstanding, “our rapturous submission to digital technology has led to an atrophying of human capacities like empathy and self-reflection,” writes novelist Jonathan Franzen in a review of Reclaiming Conversation. “The time has come to reassert ourselves, behave like adults and put technology in its place.”

Putting technology in its place is a tall order. The phone is too addictive. Most people take their phone to bed. When I am stopped at a red light, I look at the cars on either side of me. Almost all of the drivers are on the phone.

Turkle intends the book to be a call to action. Our mediated life may be dehumanizing, but she believes that we are smart enough to recognize the empathy gap for what it is and to do something about it. Phone-free, family dinners would be a good starting point.

“We have time to make the corrections,” she writes. “And to remember who we are—creatures of history, of deep psychology, of complex relationships. Of conversations artless, risky and face-to-face.” CW

WHAT THE KIDS NEED IS A HEALTHY DOSE OF FACE-TO-FACE CONVERSATION.

Send feedback to comments@cityweekly.net

STAFF BOX

Readers can comment at cityweekly.net

Imagine you just received your ideal Valentine’s Day card. What would the inside say?

Nicole Enright: It would depict a scantily clad Nicolas Cage and read simply, “You are my National Treasure.”

Enrique Limón: “I heart you more than the poop emoji.” Boom! Jack and Rose steaming up that car window car in Titanic, that boombox serenade song from Say Anything and Barack and Michelle dancing to “At Last” during the inaugural ball all at once.

Scott Renshaw: I know we all over-share in the age of social media, but this one’s just between me and my wife, thanks.

Andrea Harvey: Roses are red, violets are blue, I want to be inside you.

Love always, Wine.

Mason Rodrickc: It would feature a picture of Dom DeLuise and say something like, “Remember that time we had that one slice of pizza, and then you and me finished that whole pizza together? I love you like that same moment if you hadn’t been there to eat the other half of my pizza.”

Paula Saltas: “I heart Paula. Love, George Clooney.”

Stephen Dark: When I was 16-years-old, I received my one and only Valentine’s Day card. It took the form of a lengthy letter from a certain young lady also in her teens. It was full of self-mockery and plaintive sweet-nothings, mixed with an adroitly literary discussion of the book we were reading in school at the time, Hardy’s The Mayor of Casterbridge. Not the most romantic of books perhaps, but at least she compared me favorably to the brutish anti-romantic at the heart of Hardy’s tale.

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FEBRUARY 11, 2016 | 7

NUEVE

THE LIST OF NINE

BY MASON RODRICKC & MICHELLE L ARSON

@ 42bearcat

BY KATHARINE BIELE

Nine double entendres you might hear in the bedroom around V-Day:

9. Paper or plastic?

8. Is there any more batter?

7. Oh yeah, Bcc your boss, too, baby!

6. Smooth or Crunchy?

5. It’s the altitude, that’s all.

4. Yeah, but I’m not supposed to actually feel the Bern.

3. Do you have that in green?

2. Ma’am, you can’t leave that there.

1. I’ll stream that straight to your Chromecast, baby.

FIVE SPOT

RANDOM QUESTIONS, SURPRISING ANSWERS

@kathybiele

Clean-Air Smokescreen

Here we go again, and again and again. Our beloved utilities dearly want you to pay more to keep them trucking along, and these days, they do it in the name of clean air. That, of course, is a buzzword and not necessarily the truth. Majority Whip Stuart Adams, R-Layton, is proposing Senate Bill 115, the “Sustainable Transportation and Energy Plan Act.” What could be better?

Well, let’s say that just about no one thinks it’s a great idea. That means everyone from the Utah Manufacturers Association to HEAL Utah. “None of the initiatives proposed in the STEP legislation have been independently evaluated or shown to have a significant impact on air quality. In fact, some of these initiatives may actually harm air quality,” a letter from this diverse coalition says. We’re talking $100 million over 10 years—and ratepayers possibly getting stuck for 100 percent of the risk.

Polluters Should Pay

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HITS&MISSES

And just to stay on track with clean-air bluffs, Sen. Jim Dabakis, D-Salt Lake City, has been calling out legislators for proposing SB102, “High Cost Infrastructure Tax Credit Amendments,” by Senate Majority Leader Ralph Okerlund, R-Monroe. This one offers tax credits for converting refineries to Tier 3 fuel—a cleaner burning fuel. And, hey, Salt Lake City Mayor Jackie Biskupski likes it. But maybe she doesn’t realize that the tax credits reduce the amount of money going to public ed. “I say the polluters should pay,” Dabakis said in a Feb. 3 Facebook post. The idea is to incentivize the refineries to clean up their act, since the cost of coal is way down. The Salt Lake Tribune quoted the Utah Petroleum Association praising the bill. These could be investments of $100 million or more, and not a word about alternativeenergy companies.

Have Faith

Did you know that the LDS Church sponsors a Facebook page called “Support Religious Freedom?”

This past week, the page posted a YouTube video and a piece from ABC News about President Obama’s visit to a mosque and his subsequent defense of religious freedom. In condemning what he called “hateful rhetoric,” he drew a comparison with the persecution of Mormons. “Mormon communities have been attacked throughout our history … We have to understand that an attack on one faith is an attack on all our faiths,” he said, calling for Americans to protect all faiths. While the post was meant to be positive, the LDS Church didn’t plan on that rhetoric in the comment section: “It’s too bad that President Obama does not seem to care as much about the religious freedom of Christians,” said one.

“Especially in his own country,” remarked another.

courtesy photo

THE

Ary Faraji is an entomologist who, for 18 years, has studied mosquitoes and the diseases that they transmit. As assistant manager and entomologist with the Salt Lake City Mosquito Abatement District, he has been closely following news of the mosquito-borne Zika virus. Read more about this outbreak at CityWeekly.net.

Why is the Zika virus showing up right now?

Zika virus is not a new disease. It’s an illness that scientists refer to as an emerging or re-emerging vector-borne zoonotic disease. A vector is an agent, like a mosquito, that can carry and transmit an infectious pathogen to another living organism, and zoonotic refers to an infectious disease in an animal that can be transmitted to humans. Historically, Zika virus has been largely confined to equatorial Africa in the tropics where it circulated predominately between forest dwelling mosquitoes and wild primates.

Why is the Zika virus being called a pandemic? Are the mosquitoes migrating?

The virus has spread to Asia, the Pacific Islands and now Central and South America.

The virus is not continent-hopping via the spread of mosquitoes, but rather because of the frequency and rapidity of air travel by humans. It is not unlikely for an individual to become bitten by an infected mosquito in an area where the virus is circulating, and then hop on a plane and land in a new area within a short span of time.

Will Utah mosquitoes eventually become carriers of it?

The short answer is no. Currently the climate in Utah (severe cold winters) is too harsh for the establishment of Aedes aegypti or Aedes albopictus (pictured), which are primarily tropical or sub-tropical species. However, populations of Aedes albopictus have successfully invaded the eastern United States, as far north as Massachusetts, and global climate change may eventually allow the establishment of this species even in Utah. Our local mosquito species (we have 51 of them in Utah and 16 in Salt Lake City) have not been shown to be vector competent for Zika virus.

What’s the best advice for not contracting the disease? Stay north and west?

Avoid areas where virus activity is currently high. If not, protect yourself from mosquito bites. Wear long-sleeve shirts and pants, treat or purchase clothing with a built-in repellent such as permethrin, treat exposed areas of your skin with an EPA-approved mosquito repellent and stay indoors during active mosquito periods. And above all, stay calm and carry on.

What is it about mosquitoes that intrigues you?

Mosquitoes are the true vixens of the insect world. Some species are absolutely beautiful and mesmerizing, and yet can carry debilitating and deadly diseases with global impact. They are by far the deadliest animal on our planet, having determined the outcomes of war for thousands of years. In fact, more soldiers have succumbed to the diseases that they carry than actual swords or bullets.

—JERRE WROBLE jwroble@cityweekly.net

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What’s the deal with papal infallibility? Can the pope modify any church teaching he so desires, and Catholics would have to obey? Can he make abortion OK? What about worshipping Satan?

—Gabriel Andrade, Venezuela

L

iving in Venezuela, Gabriel, you may have seen the quirks of papal fiat up close. In the 16th century, according to legend, Spanish missionaries thereabouts petitioned the Vatican to allow newly converted locals to eat capybara (aka the world’s largest rodent) during Lent, when Catholics are otherwise enjoined from eating meat. The pope agreed, essentially declaring the capybara—a fine swimmer, yes, but conspicuously fourlegged and hairy—a fish. I’m told salted capybara remains a Lenten specialty down there.

If that ain’t infallibility, what is?

Alas. It turns out that, doctrinally speaking, papal infallibility is far weightier than this kind of casual transubstantiation; rendering mammals fish is merely one of the lesser perks of the job of pope, which comes with basically unchecked authority. Or at least within the domain of the Catholic Church: The notion of infallibility was cemented in the 1860s when Pope Pius IX faced external political threats and, by convoking the First Vatican Council, aka Vatican I, sought to shore up the power of his office.

Recall what was going on in the wake of the Enlightenment, the dominant European intellectual movement of the era preceding: the French Revolution, upheaval across the continent, a general emphasis on democracy over monarchy—as Kant put it, the end of an age characterized by “lack of courage to use one’s own mind without another’s guidance.” In this context, many looked seriously askance at a hierarchical outfit like the Roman church.

Priests were booted from France; in Italy, nationalists seized and redistributed property owned by the church, eventually whittling the pontiff’s dominion down to one small plot of land in Rome: Vatican City. The feeling was mutual, of course. Among the considerations at Vatican I was a repudiation of “progress, liberalism and modern civilization.” (A contemporaneous account in The New York Times called the gathering the “last protest of the representative of the Middle Ages against the spirit of the Nineteenth Century.”)

Thus, in hopes of giving the pope a little boost, was the notion of papal infallibility formalized. It wasn’t a new idea, but the council put it in writing. There are two criteria, essentially, for an infallible pronouncement: that it be made ex cathedra—literally, “from the chair,” i.e., in the pope’s capacity as the church’s supreme leader—and that it concern “faith and morals.” So: could the pope declare a surprising about-face with respect to abortion or the Prince of Darkness? Insofar as either would seem to involve faith and morals, well, why not? But perhaps it’s instructive to think of the pope’s relationship to infallibility like the U.S. president’s relationship to the

BY CECIL ADAMS

SLUG SIGNORINO

STRAIGHT DOPE Papal Infallibility

nuclear codes. Sure, he’s got the authority and the means to launch a war on a whim— but history, political pressure, the expected aftermath, etc., all conspire to incentivize a sober, rational decision. In the president’s case, too nutty a move and he faces impeachment, maybe a coup. The pope doesn’t have to worry about that—there’s no mechanism for his removal—but one assumes a wholesale embrace of Satanism might cause a bit of a rift among the flock.

So extreme is the infallibility option that popes have typically been leery of going there: As John XXIII (1958-1963) put it, “I am only infallible if I speak infallibly, but I shall never do that, so I am not infallible.” Further, debate continues over whether certain pronouncements were in fact infallible or just, you know, pronouncements: n What everyone can agree on is that the Virgin Mary’s Assumption into heaven is dogma, made so by Pius XII in his 1950 Munificentissimus Deus. n You’ll hear Catholics speak of this being one of only two instances where infallibility was invoked; the other they’re referring to is Pius IX’s affirmation of the Immaculate Conception. This was in 1854, though—i.e., several years before papal infallibility was itself declared dogma at Vatican I—so some might exclude it on a technicality. Others consider infallibility to apply retroactively not only to this but to other foundational pronouncements popes have made throughout history— for instance, Leo I on the two natures (divine and human) of Christ, circa 449 AD. n Some, including the former Pope Benedict, have argued that a 1994 statement by John Paul II rejecting the possibility of female priests was infallible. This is far from settled, the counterargument being that the word “infallible” appears nowhere in the document; JPII called his pronouncement simply “definitive.” The stakes are higher than they sound: Benedict was subsequently criticized for promoting “creeping infallibility,” or endeavoring to quietly move certain hot-button issues—women’s ordination, contraception— outside the realm of debate by suggesting they’re more settled than they actually are.

Faced with much Protestant sniffing about the whole idea, Catholics are keen to stress that infallibility doesn’t equate to impeccability—being without sin—nor does it mean that the pope considers himself immune from error. Pontiffs probably don’t suffer in the selfregard department, in other words, but it’s not like they’re Donald Trump. CW

Send questions to Cecil via StraightDope.com or write him c/o Chicago Reader, 350 N. Orleans, Chicago 60654.

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| MUSIC | CINEMA | DINING | A&E | NEWS |

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FEBRUARY 11, 2016 | 11

the ? ? ?? ? con?? ?? ??? ??? ? s u m?? ers who ?? choose to between ?? take the risk the producer and purchase and their table.” uninspected foods, While Ingwell acknowledges because many foodthe difference between heavily proborne viruses are communicable and cessed foods and safety inspections, he a family who gets sick could spread inlikens Roberts’ bill the national trend fections to others who did not eat the of moving away from processed foods uninspected food. produced by multinational food corThat’s precisely what makes the porations. “Anything we can do to get Utah Farm Bureau Federation nerpeople closer to the producers, the betvous. Sterling Brown, the UFBF’s vice ter,” Ingwell says. “I think this could president of public policy, says his orhelp push more people to buy locally.” ganization opposes the bill because Nick Como is director of commuif Utahns become worried about the nication & marketing for The Downsafety of local food, they might stop town Alliance, which runs the Downbuying from all local producers, and town Farmers Market. He says the bill not just those who are selling the won’t impact their market either way, uninspected food. “Consumer confibecause rules are already in place dence is imperative to a sustainable, that forbid selling food products like viable, growing agriculture in Utah,” poultry and dairy that haven’t been Brown says. “There has to be some through safety inspections. So even level of inspections on our food, to enif HB144 were to become law, uninsure that when it reaches our kitchen spected poultry and dairy wouldn’t be counters, it’s a safe product.” turning up at the Downtown Farmers Brown says that he doesn’t buy the Market, which is the state’s largest idea that just because a customer is farmers market. However, the unintold that the raw chicken or milk they spected food could show up at other are buying wasn’t inspected, that farmers markets, at roadside stands, means the customer is well-informed. and in direct sales from farms.

“Consumers are gullible; we just buy Several members of the committee it and eat it. Just as I would think you speculated that Roberts not showwould support some level of inspecing up for his bill was just “political tion on a house before you buy it to gamesmanship” and pledged that make sure it was built correctly, there they would not vote in favor of the bill needs to be some level of minimum inthis year but would demand that it spection on our food.” be brought back next year if Roberts Carl Ingwell, the head of Clean Air wants to move forward. The bill was Now, disagrees and says he supports held in committee without a vote. the bill because “this is the trend in Roberts did not respond to repeated food today— people want to have their requests for comment following the food go through as few steps as possible Feb. 5 hearing. CW

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new law proposed at the Utah Legislature would drop requirements for some of the food sold by local producers to undergo safety inspections or certification.

While supporters tout it as pro-free market, opponents worry it could lead to many Utahns getting sick.

The Food Freedom Act, proposed by Rep. Marc Roberts, R-Santaquin, exempts food producers from “state, county, or city licensing, permitting, certification, inspection, packaging, and labeling requirements for the preparation, serving, use, consumption, or storage of food.” It would apply only to food that is sold in-state and sold directly from the producer to the end-consumer (not to grocery stores or restaurants). It also would not apply to meat, wild game, or wild fish, but it would apply to dairy and poultry, such as chicken or turkey.

The bill was heard Friday, Feb. 5, in the House Natural Resources, Agricultural and Environment Committee. But despite his hosting a press conference on the bill one hour before the committee hearing, Roberts was conspicuously absent from the hearing itself.

“I saw Wyoming do this last year, and I thought ‘Hey, that’s a cool bill. That’s a cool idea,’” Roberts told City Weekly before the committee hearing. “I like local agriculture and local farms, so I get into that sort of thing, being self-reliant and all those buzzwords.”

Roberts says there are a lot of people in Utah who want access to uninspected food, who don’t like or don’t trust government regulations and safety inspections, and prefer to buy food free of those restrictions. “This gets government out of the way for those producers and those consumers,” Roberts said.

The proposal has raised some red flags, however. Travis Waller, director of the regulatory services division of the Utah Department of Agriculture and Food says existing laws allow Utah producers to sell produce (fruits and vegetables) without any restrictions, as long as they are not preparing or

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BY ERIC ETHINGTON eethington@cityweekly.net @EricEthington

“This is the trend in food today—people want to have their food go through as few steps as possible between the producer and their table.”

—Carl Ingwell Clean Air Now

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Bill to relax state inspections on local poultry and dairy farmers dies in committee.

cooking the produce in any way. But things get dangerous when poultry or dairy enter the equation.

“There may be a market for [uninspected locally produced food,]” Waller says, “but there still needs to be some checks and balances in place.

We’re willing to work with people and help them get their products to market, but it can’t just be the Wild West or people could get hurt.”

Waller says there are much higher risks of foodborne illnesses when producing chicken and dairy products, pointing to the 45 cases of campylobacter food poisoning reported in 2014 linked to Ropelato Dairy in Weber County and 10 cases in 20o7 linked to the Woolsey’s Dairy in Utah County.

LuAnn Adams, commissioner of the Utah Department of Agriculture & Food, adds that existing food inspections and regulations are minimal already and include requirements such as ensuring pets are not in the area where food is prepared and correctly labeling what is in food.

The Utah Department of Health, whose representatives also spoke against the bill at the hearing, warned against consumption of products like raw milk, because without pasteurization, bacteria such as salmonella, E. coli, and listeria remain in the milk and could cause numerous foodborne illnesses, which can be especially serious for young children, pregnant women, the elderly, or anyone else with a weakened immune system.

Roberts disagrees that the inspections are necessary and notes that his bill has the backing of Red Acre CSA farm in Cedar City, McDowell Family Farms in Wanship, some smaller local producers and the conservative Libertas Institute. Under his bill, Roberts says, consumers would be encouraged to talk with producers about how the food was produced. He does admit that if his bill were to become law and safety inspections were removed, there’s nothing to prevent producers from lying to customers about the process. “That’s where the market is a beautiful thing in my opinion,” says Roberts. “Why would a producer sell [tainted] food because his interest is to make sure his customers are healthy. So yes, you could get sick.

There’s always going to be bad players in the market—in any market. But, by-and-large, [producers’] incentive is to make sure their customers are healthy and happy.”

Waller agrees that the majority of food producers would do their best to make sure their customers never got sick. However, he says, it’s not just about

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A G R I C U LT U R E

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| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

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12 | FEBRUARY 11, 2016

CITIZEN REVOLT

S NEofW the

In a week, you can

CHANGE THE WORLD

UTAH AIR QUALITY LECTURE

Face it. No one really understands why Utah can’t figure out the bad-air equation. The Stegner Center Greenbag Series, “From Particles to People: Why Utah Struggles with Air Quality and How This Affects Human Health,” tries to get to the bottom of it. You’ll hear from Kerry Kelly, assistant professor of chemical engineering at the University of Utah, who’s also vice chair of the State Air Quality Board. Her recent research activities have been motivated by local and regional airquality challenges. Dr. Robert Paine, chief of the University Health Care Pulmonary Division, will speak about his ongoing research to the causes and treatment of acute lung injury. S.J. Quinney College of Law, Room 6613, 383 South University St., 801-585-3440, Tuesday, Feb. 16, 12:15-1:15 p.m., free and open to public, Bit.ly/1PEess9

ADOPT A RABBIT MONTH

What’s up, Doc? Did you know that February is Adopt a Rescued Rabbit Month?

Really. In fact, rabbits are the third-most adopted pets at the Humane Society of Utah. And why are they good pets? They offer the companionship of a dog and can be litter trained like a cat. They’re good apartment dwellers, they live long and prosper and don’t cause the allergies that dogs and cats do. Humane Society of Utah, 4242 S. 300 West, Murray, 801506-2416, Monday-Saturday, 10 a.m.7 p.m.; Sunday, noon-5 p.m., $10/one rabbit, $15/two, UtahHumane.org

WINTER ART FUNDRAISER

Browse through the Winter Art Salon with the elite or your next-door neighbor for this four-day fundraiser for the Kimball Art Center. Friday will be a preview party with cocktails and hors d’oeuvres amid art, jewelry, exhibitions and other luxury vendors. The operative word is luxury, as tickets to this event are $250 per adult.

The day offers performances by the Utah Symphony Youth Guild and children’s art activities. During the Presidents Day weekend, you’ll visit a variety of luxury vendors and highly recognized artists of a wide range of styles and price points. All proceeds to benefit the Kimball Art Center’s exhibitions, events and free art education for children. Kimball Art Center, 1401 Kearns Blvd., Park City, 435-6498882, VIP preview: Friday, Feb. 12, 6-9 p.m., $250; public exhibition: Saturday-Monday, Feb. 13-15, 10 a.m.-6 p.m. daily, free and open to public, KimballArtCenter.org/Events/Art-Salon

—KATHARINE BIELE

Send events to editor@cityweekly.net

Frontiers of Fashion Even though concealedcarry gun permit-holders in Texas can now “open carry,” pistol-packing women concerned with fashion are not limited to traditional firearms in ordinary cowboy holsters. An online company, The Well Armed Woman, offers such carry options as stylish leggings, lace waistbands and an array of underarm and bra holsters (even an in-cup model, the “Marilyn”) in leopard-print and pastel colors. However, a woman’s body shape and size may be more important shopping considerations, according to the company’s founder. “A 32A bust could not conceal a Glock 19 very well—nor would a 42DD-orlarger (front) allow for effective cross-draw carry.”

WEIRD

Democracy Blues In January, Robert Battle took the oath of office for his second term as a city councilman in East Chicago, Ind.—administered at the county lockup, where he is being held without bail, charged with a cold-blooded murder during a drug deal. The crime made news in October (i.e., before Election Day), yet Battle still won his race. According to law, he cannot be forced out of office unless he is convicted or admits the crimes, and he had the right to vote for himself in the election (except that he failed to request an absentee ballot).

Canonical Marijuana The Albany, N.Y., company Vireo Health told reporters it would soon offer the world’s first certified Kosher marijuana, announcing that the Orthodox Union of New York had authenticated it as having met Jewish dietary laws (e.g., grown with insectfree plants). (Other Kosher-validating officials complained that the approval should apply only to marijuana that is eaten, not smoked.) n Two habit-wearing nuns were scheduled to ask the Merced, Calif., City Council in January to decline its prerogative under state law to ban dispensing or cultivating medical marijuana.

The nuns’ order makes and sells salves and tonics for pain management, using a strain of cannabis containing only a trace of psychoactive material.

Bright Ideas Since the (naturally insulated) uterus can be a lonely space, Institut Marqués of Barcelona, Spain, recently demonstrated a tampon-like “speaker” to carry soothing, specially selected, 54-decibel (“hushed tone”) rhythms that supposedly improve fetal growth. In the Babypod’s first “concert,” the singer Soraya performs Christmas carols. (However, documented evidence for such a device was limited to success of in-vitro fertilization when music was wafted through during the first 48 hours of sperm-egg union.) n Taiwanese scientists recently announced the availability of their Infant Cries Translator (iPhone and Android app), which they say can, with 77 percent accuracy (92 percent for those under 2 weeks old), tell what a baby wants by its screeches and wailings. The National Taiwan University Hospital Yunlin doctors first had to create a database of 200,000 crying sounds.

Compelling Explanations Italy’s highest court freed a man in January because the bribe he offered a cop to avoid a DUI ticket was “too small” to be serious—100 euros (about $108). n Lawyers for John Bills (former Chicago city commissioner on trial for taking bribes on a traffic-camera contract) said Bills was obviously innocent because everyone knows that, in Chicago, only bribing the mayor (or at least an alderman) will get anything done. n A security guard in Nairobi, Kenya, despairingly told a New York Times reporter in November (detailing corruption so rampant that, for example, ballpoint pens were being sold to the government for $85 each) that “If (people)’re going to steal, please, just steal a little.”

BY CHUCK SHEPHERD

The Continuing Crisis A former lecturer for Spanish classes at the liberal arts Amherst College near Northampton, Mass., sued the school in December after it failed to renew her contract—leading the lecturer to charge that the Spanish department had tried to solicit student course enrollment by prostitution. Lecturer Dimaris BarriosBeltran accused her supervisor, Victoria Maillo, of hiring only attractive “teaching assistants” and encouraging them to “date” Amherst students with the ulterior motive of signing them up for Spanish classes—to boost the department’s profile.

(College officials said they could not corroborate the accusation, but a lawyer for Barrios-Beltran said Maillo is no longer employed at Amherst.)

n William Bendorf, 38, filed a lawsuit in December against the Funny Bone comedy club in Omaha, Neb., and comedian-hypnotist Doug Thompson after plunging off the stage and breaking his leg following Thompson’s having hypnotized him during his act.

Thompson claimed that he had “snapped” Bendorf out of the trance, but the lawsuit claims that Bendorf, instead of exiting via the stairs as Thompson instructed, wandered directly toward his stage-side table because he was still “under” Thompson’s spell.

n A patient who had been blind for a decade (a condition thought to have been brought on by brain damage from an auto accident) suddenly “regained” her sight, according to a research report in the latest PsyCh Journal—but only in one of the 10 identities (a teenage boy) populating her dissociative identity disorder.

Doctors have since ruled out organic damage and (through EEG testing) “malingering” and are now coaxing her eyesight back by treating the disorder.

Least Competent Criminals Michael Leonard, 53, was charged in December with stealing a package that moments earlier had been dropped off by a courier.

The delivery was to a Prince George’s County, Md., police station, and Leonard, hanging around in the station (to register as a sex offender), walked out with the package when no one was looking.

(However, a station surveillance camera caught his face.)

n Sean Lyons, 23, wanted on an Upper Darby, Pa., arrest warrant since October as a drug dealer, was arrested in January—at the police station, where officers recognized him when he came to give information as a victim of an unrelated hit-and-run accident.

The Aristocrats!

David Newman, a prominent emergency room doctor at New York City’s Mount Sinai Hospital, was recently charged with two counts of sexual abuse, one involving drugging, groping and masturbating onto the unconscious body of a female patient.

n Well-known restaurateur Dan Hoyt, 53, was arrested in January and charged with exposing (and “pleasuring”) himself to two women, repeatedly, at a New York City subway station—and to one he had blatantly asked, “Can I masturbate to you?” Hoyt is the owner-chef at Quintessence in the East Village and gained notoriety in 2005 when a subway passenger photographed him “in action” during a previous weak moment.

Recurring Themes Kopi Luwak (the gourmet coffee beans roasted only after having been flavored by a trip through the digestive tracts of Asian civet cats) has been a staple of weird news stories for a quarter century, but a New York startup (Afineur) will soon bring to market a synthetic process mimicking the flavoring effects of the civets’ gut bacteria.

n From time to time, when people worry excessively about their stations in life, entrepreneurs create “destruction rooms,” where, for a fee, customers get some time with a sledgehammer or baseball bat and pound on junked furniture. The most recent, Tantrums LLC, of Houston, opened in January, charging $35 for 10 minutes.

Thanks This Week to Bruce Strickland and the News of the Weird Board Editorial Advisors.

F

Oh, Honey!

| LOVE & SEX |

A local's guide to love & sex

| CITY WEEKLY |

FEBRUARY 11, 2016 | 13

XOXO, —Enrique Limón

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

orget about the War in Heaven. As many single-and-looking Salt Lakers (as well as early ’80s Pat Benatar) can attest, love is a battlefield.

Whether your love life is ample or Deseret, pure and undefiled or, like mine, consisting of opening a hook-up app wherein a pop-up announcing “Syphilis increasing in Salt Lake” greets me, one thing is for sure: Dating in the Beehive State ain’t easy. So we here at City Weekly have put together this handy-dandy guide to help you out of your dry spell.

Put the laptop down and stop making up excuses on why the enter button is stuck. A 2009 still-debated study out of Harvard found that Utah leads the list of states with most online porn consumers per capita. Abstinence-only is still the law of the land when it comes to sex-ed, and while a report published last summer by Voices for Utah Children points out that teen pregnancy in the state is at a record low, the same study reveals that STDs among the same population have spiked fourfold over the same rates from three years ago [insert sad trombone noise here].

My personal introduction to sex came at a very early age, when my school friend Fernando shared a porn he’d secured from his dad’s stash. In the culminating scene of the forbidden (and oddly sticky) VHS, the star pleasured herself with a lit candle. The image is forever embedded in my head and to this day, I experience a form of PTSD shopping down certain Pottery Barn aisles.

This issue’s mission? To clean up doing the dirty’s image; approaching the topic without taboo and highlighting some of the folks that are taking an unapologetic stand to sex-related issues. People like Russell Greer, who longs to open up the state’s first brothel (p. 16) and Spanish Fork’s Tresa Kehl, who took her experience running an area love boutique to become a sex educator (p. 15). We also explore coming to terms with your sexual identity within the LDS Church (p. 18), and on a lighter note, ask a drag queen for romance tips (p. 19), assemble the perfect locally sourced playlist to get it on (p. 20) and a countdown of the best movies to Netflix & Chill—or in my case, Blu-ray & Butt-play (p. 21).

Oh, and before falling too far into the hive, you should familiarize yourself with some of the terms you might hear the cool kids saying nowadays whilst on the prowl (p. 14). Times have changed since the Victorian Valentine, honey.

Regardless of your age, we hope you leave empowered to put yourself out there. Just remember: We are young. Heartache to heartache, we stand. No promises, no demands.

OK, I’m off to the free clinic now.

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

| LOVE & SEX |

| CITY WEEKLY |

14 | FEBRUARY 11, 2016

The ABC’s of Utah’s Dating Scene A useful guide to terms you might come across dating around these parts tah is a strange, confusing and (sometimes) wonderful place, but it gets particularly bizarre when it comes to dating. As part of a generation with plenty of ways to meet and “court” someone outside the realm of face-to-face interaction, things can get tricky. So we’ve complied a glossary to help you navigate the tumultuous waters that make up Utah’s dating scene. And while we can’t promise that mastery of the local vernacular will get you a date, at least you’ll know what other people are talking about.

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Afterglow: the warm, wholly satisfied feeling that comes after really great sex.

Also, the name of an oddly successful LDS Mormon pop duo.

Bae: baby, sweetie, honey bunny, boo, pookie bear, etc., ad nauseum.

Catfishing: to create an alternate persona or entirely fabricate a fictional person in order to attract a stranger on the Internet.

Feminist Boyfriend: (legend?) in Utah.

By Katherine Ellis & Devin Wakefield comments@cityweekly.net

myth

NCMO: Non-Committal Make Out. It’s like a Mormon one-night stand.

Thirsty: return missionaries eager for one thing and one thing only.

Ghosting: the French exit/Irish goodbye—fading out of interactions with a person to the point of full-on disappearing.

Outercourse: dry humping, HJs, etc. See also: middle-school sex acts.

Vacation Crush: This is the white whale.

It’s the hope that you’ll catch the fancy of some Sundance starlet or stud and get whisked away to be the world’s happiest sugar baby.

a

local

Hipster: beard-growing, plaid-wearing, film-camera-using, man-bun-flaunting guys who seem to be heavily concentrated in Provo (though Salt Lake City has its share).

Indigo Girls: If you’re a man pursuing a woman and this is her favorite group, you may be barking up the wrong tree.

Jack Mormon: someone who may still be Mormon but doesn’t care to hide the fact that they don’t practice church teachings by doing things like drinking coffee or going out on a Sunday.

Kittenfishing: to exaggerate or fabricate small details about yourself when meeting someone online.

DTR: Define the Relationship. The dreaded conversation about what a relationship means.

Lumbersexual: If a beard and flannel gets you all hot and bothered, this is you.

Eternal Companion: the ejector seat on an unwanted relationship or the Mormon sexual greenlight.

Mormon Baseball: 1st: hold hands, 2nd: kiss, 3rd: marriage, home: scheduled sex.

Pull a Mosby: proclaim love on a first date.

Quiche: sort of like an egg pie, but more importantly, a telltale sign that you’ve found yourself at brunch, which means that you are in a committed relationship.

So congrats, or whatever.

Return Missionary: when a Mormon couple has sex twice in the same day.

Soaking: penetration but no movement.

Little known fact: It is not a way around the Law of Chastity. It still totally counts as sex—just lame sex.

Wait: when you swear off all humans of the opposite gender for 18 months to two years until your bae comes home from his or her mission.

Underage: a term for Utah brides who tend to marry at ages 18-21, thus awarding the state the lowest median age in the country at which a female weds.

Xfiniti: because getting screwed on our cable bill is about the only action most of us can hope for.

Young Adult: an unmarried adult from the age of 18-30. See also: Spinster.

Zion’s Loophole: also known as God’s loophole. It’s most of the above definitions sans a Mormon baseball grand slam. All the awkwardness and wincing of your first time but without the fiery damnation. CW

Katherine Ellis, Editor-in-Chief of the U of U’s Daily Utah Chronicle, managed to find an elusive, real-life feminist boyfriend in Happy Valley. Devin Wakefield, the Chronicle’s page designer extraordinaire, spends a lot of his time complaining about how hard it is to date while living below the poverty line.

Dirty Minded

Utah County’s longest-running love boutique vibes on

By Colby Frazier cfrazier@cityweekly.net

Tresa Kehl, owner of Dirty Jo’s.

I

body president. For campaign fuel, I settled on the tactic of passing out condoms. In Mr. Stone’s second-period science class, a couple of us taped a piece of paper to each condom that said: “Be safe, vote Colby.” Soon after the condoms were disbursed, I found myself in the principal’s office. Disappointed at my immaturity, the man sent me home from school and disqualified me from the election. (Rumor has it, I won that election, but my crown was given to the second-place finisher.)

Kehl gets a kick out of this story, and commends me for my efforts. On this front, sex education in Spanish Fork—and the rest of Utah public schools—remains a desert of abstinence-only, even as the state, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, had the 38th highest rate of teen pregnancy in the nation in 2013, with 2,269 women and girls under the age of 20 giving birth.

Like many fledgling businesses, especially those that are persecuted, Kehl has had to fight for her right to do business. In 1998, a fire in a neighboring building caused severe damage to Dirty Jo’s.

Kehl remembers the firefighters telling her that she’d never be able to reopen at that location. And the fire, she says, reignited the controversy surrounding her business’s risqué inventory. “That’s when the naysayers came back,” she says, recalling that people said, “She fully got what she deserved. God burned her down.”

But Kehl says she gutted the place, built it back up (her more erotic stock toward the back of the room was unharmed) and her doors were reopened 30 days later.

While Kehl continues to keep women in stockings (she now offers 500 different pairs), the store, she says, has carried her through a divorce, and it’s put her four children through college.

And whether she knows it or not, the mere presence of the place, even for a young boy too timid to open the door and get kicked out, serves as a shining reminder that beyond the walls of the Nebo Stake Center, there is a world awaiting that oftentimes looks mighty nice wearing lingerie. CW

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

| LOVE & SEX |

| CITY WEEKLY |

FEBRUARY 11, 2016 | 15

n 1990, I turned 8-years-old. In addition to the regular birthday presents, my parents gave me a CTR (Choose the Right) ring and a Book of Mormon. A few days later, I found myself standing in an oversize tiled bathtub at the Nebo Stake Center in Spanish Fork, Utah. It was April, and the belly button-deep water was cold. Some prayers were said, and before I knew it, I was dunked beneath the water—along with every hair on my head—and my name was added to the rolls of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints.

Round about the same time I experienced my spiritual entrance into the Mormon church, a 28-year-old named Tresa Kehl, frustrated by the lack of fancy stockings available to wear to her husband’s work Christmas party, opened up a lingerie shop called Dirty Jo Punster’s on Spanish Fork’s Main Street.

As I slipped that CTR ring onto my finger and began an unsuccessful and half-hearted crack at reading verse after verse of the Book of Nephi, some of my fellow Spanish Forkers were busy signing a petition in an attempt to thwart Kehl’s efforts to become a smallbusiness owner.

That petition drive, and those that came afterward, failed. And today, Dirty Jo’s continues to be a mainstay on Spanish Fork’s main drag, thriving on brisk sales of clitoral stimulators, stiletto heels and racy lingerie.

“I remember women saying, ‘It’s OK because they’re only going to be around [for] six months,’” Kehl says of the attitude toward her store after the petition failed. “Now, we’re going on our 26th year.”

When Kehl first opened the store, she remembers the economy was in slump and vacant storefronts stretched up and down the street. Like any enterprising businessperson, Kehl did her part to lure people downtown, helping to organize a trick-or-treat event on Halloween and a scarecrow contest.

Kehl says she and the local Chamber of Commerce were the first in the state to adopt the use of orange flags at crosswalks along traffic-choked Main Street—not former Salt Lake City Mayor Rocky Anderson who, to Kehl’s chagrin, got all the credit.

No sooner was Spanish Fork’s downtown humming again, though, than the city allowed developers to destroy the North Park, situated near Highway 6. A Costco and other big-box chains have moved onto this real estate, leading many downtown shops to flounder.

But Kehl says she believes the street is on its way back. In 2014, the city received some federal assistance to help create plans to revitalize the downtown core. With some parallel parking and a traffic-slowing device, like a roundabout, Kehl hopes that more of the folks traveling Main Street will have the chance to slow down and realize that shopping exists there.

Through boom or bust, though, Kehl’s business has thrived. This is due, in no small part, to the fact that neither the nearby Costco, nor the Wal-Mart, sells double-headed dildos and silicone lube that enhances blood flow to sexual organs.

While Kehl initially only set out to provide lingerie and a small assortment of toys to the south Utah County population, an entirely different aspect of her expertise has surfaced: Educator.

In addition to teaching the occasional human sexuality course at Westminster College and Utah Valley University, Kehl says she and her store provide a refuge, and a classroom, for residents who dare not ask their loved ones, doctors or LDS bishops about what they are or are not enjoying about their sex lives.

“They really don’t have anywhere to turn to ask some of these questions,” Kehl says of some of her customers. “They don’t even want to ask their doctors sometimes, so if we can make it a little easier on them, it’s a good day.”

Kehl says a diverse group of people turns to her for advice. She says a 30-year-old man who had never had sex visited the store the day before his wedding. The man, Kehl says, was in tears because he hadn’t a clue what his wedding night would require. A week later, she says the man’s wife visited the store to thank Kehl.

Kehl also sells a number of products that doctors prescribe. Some of the top prescription-based sellers include a “Kegal,” which helps tighten and repair the vaginal walls; pumps for men with prostate issues and the Magic Wand, a vibrator of sorts that helps stimulate women who have damaged nerves.

In 1999, I could have used Kehl’s advice. The teenage pregnancy rate at Spanish Fork High School was on the rise, and I thought it would be a good idea to run for student

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| LOVE & SEX |

| CITY WEEKLY |

16 | FEBRUARY 11, 2016

Only the Lonely ussell Greer has tried everything to get a date. “I’ve tried the Internet; I’ve tried inperson dating. I just can’t find anyone.” The 24-year-old paralegal has a form of facial paralysis called Moebius syndrome from birth, where the deadened nerves inside his face deform the shape of his mouth. His quest for some form of intimacy took him to Salt Lake City escort agencies, which are legal in Utah. He says he paid $800 for a woman who took her clothes off and danced, but “she did nothing I wanted. I wanted a kiss, but she wouldn’t do it.”

He Googled “prostitute” and where to find them and ended up going to several brothels in Nevada, where prostitution is legalized. He flew to Reno and after 10 minutes of self-consciously hiding his features by keeping his back to women working at the brothel, he met “Jade,” who took him to her room and negotiated a price of $1,800 for intercourse. “She made out with me, she kissed me, it was my first real kiss. I never felt so alive.”

A subsequent encounter at the famed Moonlite Bunny Ranch in November 2014 did not go so well. Greer felt the woman he had hired for $4,000 cheated him, although she claimed he had consented to not have sex with her.

After he sued her and lost, Greer decided to pursue another option. Rather than travel eight hours to Nevada or engaging in activity in Utah that could end up being criminal in nature, he drew up a manifesto for the “Mile High Neon” Brothel,” which he intends to see open its doors one day. In the manifesto, he wrote, “A person should be free to pay for affection in a regulated, legal place—a place that offers security and health protection.”

After Greer read case law related to the state’s fight over same-sex marriage that upheld the individual right to “belong, to have companionship,” he decided to confront what he saw as Utah’s hypocrisy when it came to licensed sexualorientated businesses. On the one hand, Utah code allows strip clubs and escort agencies, where what clients and escorts do off the books is a question of negotiation, yet prostitution itself and brothels are illegal. “I don’t want to own or run a brothel,” he says. “What I’m trying to do is say it’s unconstitutional to deny a license for a

R

brothel.”

Greer admires the Moonlite Bunny Ranch, featured in a HBO reality show called Cathouse: The Series, as being closest to the business model he seeks to emulate. Owner Dennis Hof is a determined advocate for legalized prostitution, as well as author of The Art of the Pimp. Ask him what the challenge is of running a bordello and he says, “Being man enough to be around all these girls having a great time all the time. I just wish I had 10 penises. I’d be a happy guy.”

While Greer’s drive to see a legal brothel open in Salt Lake City stems from both conviction and personal need, Hof identifies significant benefits to legalizing prostitution. The trafficking of minors “will slow way down,” since they would have to get a business license to prove their identity, at least according to the Nevada brothel-licensing model.

While talking on the phone, Hof goes online and tells a City Weekly reporter that in just two minutes he has identified close to 150 women in Salt Lake City selling sex on Backpage.com and Eros.com. “It wouldn’t surprise me at all that the illegal sex trade in Salt Lake City is a $100 million business. There’s no benefit to the state, it’s a detriment.” Legalizing prostitution would mean sex work changing from crimedriven to “a huge profit center.”

Laurin Crosson runs RockStarr Ministries, a Utah nonprofit dedicated to providing resources for trafficking victims. She disagrees vehemently both with Greer’s plans and Hof’s characterization of brothel life. Crosson says her one-time pimp ran her through a West Coast circuit that concluded with working at a Nevada brothel, between 2003 and 2006. The brothel took half her money, the pimp, the rest.

“I don’t ever remember seeing any money,” she says. Women are “confined like a prison to these places,” she continues. Contrary to Greer’s assertion they get to chose the clients they service, she says once the men have paid, it is their responsibility to service them. At least with street-sex work, she got to look into a car at a potential client. If she got a weird vibe, she could walk away.

“People go into it thinking it’s just going to be sex work,” Crosson says. “The brothel is your pimp, the brothel requires you to make a quota just like a pimp does. You’re supposed to moan and groan on cue, and everything’s fine. It never was. I lived in fear.” As to Greer’s need to have access to legalized prostitution, she says that being disabled and unable “to go out and get a relationship,” does not lead to having “a right to ejaculate. That’s not a basic human right.”

Salt Lake City Police Dept.’s public information officer Det. Gregory Wilking expresses shock that anyone would propose opening a brothel in Utah, “because I feel it’s not in the realm of reality in this community.” That said,

A disabled Utahn seeks to open the state’s first brothel

By Stephen Dark sdark@cityweekly.net Wilking argues there are some advantages to a regulated brothel in terms of preventing the spread of STDs, documenting and having legitimately reported income and also providing a safer environment than hotels or other locations “for this activity to take place.”

After the Department of Commerce wrote to Greer in early January 2016, telling him that his initially approved application to register a brothel as a sexually orientated business was canceled because the business was illegal, Greer decided to sue Utah. He sent a letter to the governor’s office and to the Department of Commerce informing them of his intent to file an “applied challenge” to Utah laws that define brothels as “nuisances,” claiming that laws that render prostitution as illegal are unconstitutional.

He hopes to hire local attorney Andrew McCullough, who has made a career for himself in part defending people involved in the adultentertainment industry. McCullough says he is intrigued by Greer’s plan, noting that several attorney friends who are members of the First Amendment Lawyers Association, to which he belongs, have filed federal lawsuits in San Francisco recently, seeking that California’s prostitution law be stricken. “I firmly believe that it’s nobody’s business what you do in the privacy of your home or in somebody else’s home or in a brothel,” he says.

Greer is working two janitorial positions currently, saving up to go back to the Bunny Ranch and to hire McCullough. The lawyer told him it would be a long, uphill battle, something a friend of Greer’s, who works for the state, confirmed for him, in a text in early February 2016. “The Legislature is seeking to ban porn,” his friend texted. “I don’t think they’re inclined to have a brothel.” CW

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Updating the Ol’ Testimony A journey to finding acceptance in my faith and in myself

By Chris Van Bibber comments@cityweekly.net s a child, when I would wish to bare my testimony, my mother or father would kneel by my side at the podium at church and tell me what to say. I would repeat after them, “I’d like to bear my testimony, I know this church is true …” and it would continue from there.

As I have lived my life, that has been the basis for my testimony. Serving two years proclaiming to the state of Michigan that I knew this church to be true was one of the greatest times of my life. I sit here as a 27-year-old man, humbling myself as I clarify that I no longer believe that everything that goes on in the Mormon church to be true.

I knew from the beginning that I was different. I knew that I found boys cuter than girls and, even though I didn’t know what the term “gay” meant, I felt I needed to keep that part of me a secret. I remember meeting with my bishop when I turned 8 to prepare myself for baptism. My father would sit me down in our family room on our plaid couch with the television on mute (because there was always a game on), and he would ask me about Joseph Smith. He would take me into our front yard and teach me how to hold onto his arm when he’d practice dunking me in the baptismal font.

In the church, it is very apparent how not OK it is to be gay. You are supposed to grow up, get married to a woman and have babies to multiply and replenish the earth.

So naturally, when it came time for me to go through the temple before my mission, I continued suppressing the truth and—for lack of a better term— lied in order to receive those blessings.

My time spent lying about my sexuality has fortunately come to an end. When I came out, and even to this day, I have had people tell me that they support me, but they wouldn’t vote for me to have equal rights, or that they support me, but don’t think that I should be allowed to raise a family or get married. Here’s the thing, if you support me, you support me getting married and having a family if I choose to. If you support me, you understand that I deserve love, and I deserve all the same rights that you and your spouse have. If you support me, you also agree that my hypothetical children deserve all the same blessings and experiences that your children will be able to partake in. If you do not support these things, please do not tell me that you support me—for few things make my blood boil quicker.

With news that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has decided to publish in its handbooks that anyone in a same-sex relationship is an apostate and that their posterity—whether adopted or biological—are not allowed the opportunity to be given a name and a blessing upon birth or to be baptized until the age of 18 (and only after disavowing their parents), I find myself at a substantial loss of understanding. Some have argued that this law has been around for years due to polygamist children, and this is nothing new. My argument back is that the church’s own 2nd Article of Faith states that “Men shall be punished for their own sins and not for Adam’s transgression.” Why would any child not be given an opportunity to receive the gift of the Holy Ghost simply because of their parents relationship?

Another question that baffles me is why would my child (again, hypothetical) disavow me in order to receive the blessings of the church, but my temple-attending family members don’t have to disavow me in order to keep their recommends?

This particular point leads me to feel that the current church leaders are simply fearful that children growing up in LGBT homes may find “gay love” to be normal,

A

and one day when these children become the leaders themselves, laws and ordinances may change because they do not see the problem.

I would never wish ill-will toward another person’s child. I have supported my sisters and their kids as much as I possibly can. To think that someone would not do the same for mine breaks my heart. I had always thought that when I have children of my own, I would want them to know the doctrine of the church. I would teach them myself or I would even suck up my pride and take them to church so that they may have those blessings. I am not even a parent, and I can attest that once you have children, your life is no longer your own, and you must make sacrifices for your children.

When I was preparing for my mission, I remember my bishop telling me that I would obey my Mission President without question, even if he told me to go stand on my head in the corner. I disagreed immediately, for was this church not restored through Joseph Smith questioning his local leaders and asking God himself for truth? Is this church not founded upon personal revelation and seeking wisdom for one’s own soul?

So, I bear my newly updated testimony knowing that my Father in Heaven loves me and is aware of who I am. He did not make a mistake by making me gay. He knows I did not “choose” to be gay. He knows of the life I live, and that I continue to strive to be a better man each day. I know that the Atonement of Christ covers all of our Father’s children, not just straight people’s kids.

As my own father sought to take me under his wing and teach me of the gospel of Christ, I know that I would do so with my own children. I know that whatever happens to me on this Earth, I will account for it in heaven. I hope that I will be able to say that I stood for what is right, no matter the cost.

I was raised LDS, and I believe that it is the most true church on the Earth, but I do not believe it has all the truth. It is a church run by men who make mistakes just as I do each and every day. I believe that one day, maybe not in this life, I will have answers to many of my questions. Above all else, I believe that the day will come when my Father in Heaven opens his arms and holds me so very tight. He will hold me to make up for all the times I felt alone or had no one to talk to, for all the times I wished things were different or questioned why?

Today, I am grateful for the opportunity to be gay, for this blessing that has made me have an open mind and has taught me how to be compassionate toward my fellow men. I am proud of how far members of my family have come from the day I told them I’m gay and I pray for those who seem to continue to feel I have a disease.

I pray for many things: that all children are given the same blessings from God, no matter who their parents love. That those who are depressed or feel alone in this world know that they are among many others who understand them. I would urge each and every one of you to look at your own testimonies and decide what you believe to be true. Maybe it doesn’t agree with what I believe, and maybe it does, but we could all use the refresher. That is my testimony, and that is what I now know is true. Amen. CW

The author grew up in Murray, and is currently preparing for a move to Southern California. You can read more of his words at evenifiwantedto.blogspot.com

ONE OF A KINDS FOR THE HARD TO FINDS

The Queen Speaketh Miss City Weekly dishes on dating, hair teasing and why she hasn’t touched a banana split in five years

eavy is the head that wears the crown.

Just ask Harry-It Winston, current Miss City Weekly. Soon after moving to Salt Lake City from Malad, Idaho, or “the Lotto capital of Utah,” as she calls it, Winston clawed her way to the top, thanks in no small part to a vintage supply of Lee’s Press-on Nails she found at the canned-foods store.

Currently, Salt Lake City’s glamour fixture works alongside the Matrons of Mayhem in their monthly drag bingo and, in another equally fabulous move, recently unleashed drag Sunday brunch at Club X. We met over Middle Eastern food at Shawarma King, a fitting choice, wherein I cut straight to the hummus and asked her about sex. “That’s one of my favorite topics!” she beamed, the overhead fluorescent lighting catching one of her rhinestoned lash appliqués.

H

What defines the dating experience in Salt Lake City?

The dating reality is: Are you a part of their group or are you not a part of their group? And, just how you are going to get into that click and mess with them? If they’re married, I’m all about it, because it just ups the ante. Sorry girls, they’re mine! Thing is, I have parts you don’t.

There is a term in drag, kai-kai, to describe when two queens go at it. Have you ever practiced this particular brand of forbidden love?

No! That is just something that this queen does not do. She kikis but she does not kai-kai.

Why is that?

For starters, there are so many layers down there that I don’t think you can find it. It’d be like huntin’ between the couch cushions for that lost potato chip that you’re just starving for.

UTAH KIDS CLUB WINTERPALOOZA 2.6

OK, you have five minutes to get ready for a hot date. What do you do?

I put my lashes and some blue eye shadow on, my hot pink lips, and I don’t worry about my garments because those things are coming off. I also make sure that my hair is at least presentable, so it has a chance to get messed up, you know?

CHECK OUT ALL OF OUR EVENT PHOTOS AT CITYWEEKLY.NET/PHOTOS

Wow. I thought you were going to say the closer to God, but that works, too.

I still can’t compare to those bitches in Utah County, but who wants the Bumpits, really?

That was the ’90s, sweetheart. We’re past that, we’re done.

What final piece of advice do you give to singles who long for true love?

Well, I gave up searching for my one love at the gym because it was much like a bath house, and you’re not going to find anything there but foot fungus and damp towels. That’s my advice. CW

| LOVE & SEX |

On the flip side, what was a good one?

One where there were no expectations. It was down to earth, relaxed and chill. We went to the park ...

Would you say that romance is dead in Salt Lake City?

No. Look at all those people having babies.

There are fleets of romance and lust, at least once every nine months here. Romance is strongest in the winter; that’s why we have so many children here born in October.

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

What is your most memorable dating horror story?

I met a gentleman caller, and he invited me up for the evening. He lived up the canyon; he picked me up at the gate, fixed dinner and, apparently, I was, umm … the dessert. Since then, I can’t listen to the sound of a whipped cream cannister. I blame him for making me lactose intolerant.

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A park?

It was during the day, and it wasn’t in the bathrooms or in the bushes, for once. I’m a lady of honor—I only do that when I’m in between paychecks.

What about your advice to straight guys?

Be open to the possibility of finding a fantastic drag queen that you might want to date, wink!

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Is volume a concern?

Yes. It’s all about big and bold. The bigger the hair, the higher the fare.

Chanda Chuon

What advice do you give straight girls when it comes to dating?

Back off, he’s mine!

UPCOMING EVENTS

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What’s your best advice for SLC singles?

Be yourself, be open to the opportunity of meeting people outside your cliques or your natural habitat, because you never know if Prince or Princess Charming is in that other group.

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| LOVE & SEX |

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20 | FEBRUARY 11, 2016

Songs of Sex and Love and Hate

A local music playlist for the smooth (and scorned) lover in you

eople write songs about anything, but statistics I just totally made up say that 73 percent of songs are about relationships. And did you know that 99.9 percent of our local musicians have experienced some type of romantic entanglement? (There’s only one lonely virgin in the scene, but we won’t out him here. At least not today.)

And 100 percent of those music makers wrote songs about it! So here’s a playlist fulla songs that follow the arc of a relationship.

We’ll subvert the moralism prevalent in our state and start with sex, then fall in love and finally, because monogamy is so 1955, break up.

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Big Ditties! Hookup Songs Wolfs—”Candy” This song is pure sex.

The bump-and-grind bass, paired with the image of the titular, white-hot vixen, is enough to bug singer Eli Morrison for the digits of whoever inspired this aural Spanish fly. Then there’s that sassy-snotty vocal: “Candy, candy, choc-o-late candy/ tryin’ to get me to taste yours/ you’re the one in the back of my head, sayin’/ don’tcha wanna eat me.”

Yum. Canyons—”Don’t Force It” If you want someone bad, you can’t let them know. In fact, it’s a good idea to make hanky-panky seem like their idea, like it’s you who needs to be talked into it. When they nibble at the bait, activate your smooth talk.

Express your hunger (“Can I double-dip, to taste you twice?”) and how much work you’re willing to put into their pleasure (“Oh, baby, this could take all night.”) That’s the secret to getting laid, right there in a breezy folk tune. Thanks, Canyons.

Thunderfist—”Want It, Need It” or “Dick is Afoot (Endino Mix)” Fast-paced like it’s trying to outrun a ragin’ case of blue balls, “Want It” is about when you “just can’t have it.” You know,

By Randy Harward rharward@cityweekly.net

when you’re beggin’ and not choosin’, so desperate that you pledge confidentiality if only someone would just please lower their standards and scratch your itch.

Then there’s the band’s classic punk-rock “Dick,” which could be a brag or a warning.

Full disclosure, no surprises: It’s common courtesy, people.

Reaper the Storyteller— ”Best Sex” A list of songs about doin’ the do needs a rapper reppin’. In character as a typical club douche, Reaper, blends Isaac Hayes’ famous slow-jam smooth talk and Blowfly’s unabashedly libidinous rhymes. “I’ll give you that good sex that leaves a big mess,” he tells the object of his affection. And, later, he tries this one: “I’ll be swimmin’ in the coochie sea wit’ my Moby Dick/ hopin’ that your boat-shaped lips can handle it.” Finally, realizing things aren’t going his way, Reaper’s character says, “Just remember you met the biggest dick you ever seen.”

Awww…! Love Songs Candy’s River House— ”Siren Song” We start off with this loud-and-proud barnstormer, wherein CRH singer/ guitarist Jordan Young growls as much as sings, “I’m in love, I’m in love and she’s my only one.” It’s no ballad, but it’s what a lot of us guys sing in the car when we’re especially proud of our women. You know, when we’re not barking along to sappy ballads in, what we hope, is a private moment.

Starmy—”Belong to Love” Remember what it was like to be on a date, at the movies, sitting in close proximity to your date and feeling the will-we-or-won’t-we tension? You know your side of things: You’re infatuated. But the question (“Do you belong to love?/ ‘cause I belong to you”), like John Lyman’s cool, funky bass line, is the whole of your inner monologue.

Mad Max & the Wild Ones— ”The Screaming End” Nope, not a breakup tune.

This surfabilly number is all about proclaiming undying love—again, at volume: “I’ll never let you go until the screamin’ end!”

But love makes you want to shout from the mountaintops, or in this case, from the roof of a 1959 Ford Fairlane.

L’anarchiste—”I’m Here” The lyrics are scanty and hard to make out, but the title, the watery keys and ethereal vocals say plenty. A comforting song to play for the person you love when they need you the most, and all you have are hugs and a couple of words.

Get Out! Breakup Songs

The Blue Aces—”I Don’t Wanna Know” Cristal Ramirez’ raspy moan drips with sorrow in this song about getting jerked around, and dwelling in that shitty limbo where you’re begging for an end to the torture, whether it’s a happy end or not. When Ramirez’ bandmates chime in and the chorus peaks, it’s exponentially achy.

Cult Leader—”You Are Not My Blood” Sometimes you want to hurt your ex, give ‘em a taste of the pain they so callously brought you. Or maybe you just want them to understand, in no uncertain terms, that they should go—and stay gone. The hate in Mark Kozelek’s words (yup, it’s a cover) is icy and burning. Google the lyrics and memorize them.

They’ll work on everyone but the crazies.

The Moths—”You Sold My Soul” Eli Morrison, again, this time lamenting “lies on top of lies” in a snarl that lays perfectly over the bright, arena rock-via-the garage chords that ring like that string of untruths. A cathartic song for when you start to realize you’re better off without her.

J.W. Blackout—”Whiskey, Weed and Wild, Wild Women” This rowdy, garage rockmeets-roadhouse country number is good for when you’re climbing back on the horse, even if you’re high as hell, and hammered enough not to care that you used your last condom—and your best prospect for the night thinks chlamydias are pretty and smell nice. ‘Cause, as Jamison Wilkins yowls, “She don’t care!” CW

Bee Movies o you love Utah? The movies sure do!

On John Ford’s résumé alone, you’ll find Monument Valley listed at least seven times. And while many classic (and notso-classic) films have been shot in the Beehive State, here are 10 that, in my estimation, stand above the others for reasons that are completely arbitrary, and only obliquely touch on love (or sex).

D

Best period movie with the worst use of a contemporary song that kills any romance in the air In 1890s Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, while Butch (Paul Newman) and Etta (Katharine Ross) sweetly bicycle through ghost-town Grafton, B.J. Thomas croons the very 1960s “Raindrops Keep Fallin’ On My Head” by Burt Bacharach and Hal David. Sample lyric: “Raindrops keep fallin’ on my head/Just like the guy whose feet are too big for his bed/Nothing seems to fit.” This song won an Academy Award, people. The Oscars may be #SoWhite, but they’ve always been clueless.

Best movie to watch while in the grips of unrequited love Dumb and Dumber takes place in Providence, R.I., and Aspen, Colo., but the bulk of it was filmed in Utah. Harry and Lloyd’s apartment exterior? Salt Lake City (standing in for Providence).

Mary’s home in Lloyd’s fantasy? La Caille in Sandy. The list goes on. And if you’re the kind of person who falls in love with someone who’s both unavailable and out of your league, you’ll have a lot in common with Lloyd (Jim Carrey). Plus, Dumb and Dumber is still hilarious.

Best stand-in for the U.S. Capitol in a dumb romantic comedy Though the Utah Film Commission website is light on specifics, Legally Blonde 2: Red, White and Blonde is on its list, so how could it not end up here? That’s the Utah Capitol building’s exterior standing in for the U.S. Capitol, if every Legally Blonde fan site in the world is to be believed. And LB2 features choreography

by Toni Basil. What’s not to love?

Best movie to watch if you love Utah (and the 1980s and Kenny Loggins) The 1980s have so many things to adore: The fashion, the music and actors well into their 20s playing teenagers. Kevin Bacon and Lori Singer were born in the ’50s but they’re two love-struck kids in Bomont (or Beaumont), a city in an unnamed state that has banned dancing in Footloose. Sharp viewers know Payson, American Fork, Provo, Lehi and Orem play Bomont.

Dianne Wiest and John Lithgow play concerned parents and Loggins plays the hell out of the soundtrack. Don’t get me wrong, Footloose is completely stupid, but as a product of its time, it’s perfect. It deserves our love.

Happy Love & Sex Day, everyone. Enjoy your cuddling. Don’t drink too many Midori sours. CW

FEBRUARY 11, 2016 | 21

Best movie to watch before revenge killing the people who killed your loved ones The Outlaw Josey Wales, a super violent tale, makes a couple stops in Utah, at Glen Canyon and Paria.

And it features Clint Eastwood doing what he does best: Killin’. And it ain’t just killin’ for the sake of killin’. It’s killin’ because someone kilt Josey’s family. Yee-haw! While we at City Weekly don’t advocate killin’ in any form, we certainly don’t not advocate vicarious killin’ via moving pictures. (Aside: In later years, it was discovered Asa Carter, a former speechwriter for segregationist Alabama Gov. George Wallace, wrote Gone to Texas, the novel on which Josey Wales is based, under a pseudonym. Yikes!)

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Best movie to watch if you’re into the strong, silent type Jeremiah Johnson features star Robert Redford’s love for Utah and its many breathtaking locations, including Ashley National Forest, Snow Canyon State Park and Zion National Park to name but three (and there are plenty more). This movie isn’t the

Best movie to use as a break-up tool While Fletch has provided hours of joy through the ages for countless doofuses, it also really, really pisses people off. The reason (and this, along with my contention that it pisses people off, is totally made up): It’s so endlessly quotable that those same countless doofuses have rendered its lines charmless. Do you really need to hear some chowderhead say, “It’s all ball bearings nowadays” ever again? Probably not.

So if you’re the kind of creep who wants to end a relationship but doesn’t have the guts to do it, just quote Fletch on a loop until your BF or GF storms off in anger. Then relax with a Bloody Mary, a steak sandwich and a steak sandwich while visiting your friends Marvin and Velma in Provo.

Best movie to watch if you and your S.O. have the kind of relationship no one else understands In Gerry, after being lost for nearly two hours in disparate and remote locations such as Death Valley, Argentina (!), and the Bonneville Salt Flats, Matt Damon strangles pal Casey Affleck to death and then saves himself. Is it a mercy killing?

Or is it totally selfish? You and your lover know the truth and are prepared to undertake similar radical notions of love if the need arises.

| LOVE & SEX |

Best time-travel movie with a sweet romance Back to the Future Part III has lots of things going for it, starting with its vast improvement over Part II. It also features the only real love story in the series, a romance between Doc Brown (Christopher Lloyd) and schoolteacher Clara Clayton (Mary Steenburgen). Sure, Marty (Michael J. Fox) has a girlfriend, Jennifer (either Claudia Wells or Elisabeth Shue), but it’s the Doc’s trip down Cupid Lane that we watch unfold on screen. Monument Valley plays a small role outside that romance—the movie is done with it shortly after Marty arrives in 1885.

easiest flick to watch—there’s a lot of violence, not much talking and Johnson is something of prick—but if you can find a pristine print (or the Blu-ray), Jeremiah Johnson is a rewarding portrait of a difficult person (and landscape).

By David Riedel comments@cityweekly.net

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Best movie that makes you feel less weird about your particular fetish It’s not love that Taylor (Charlton Heston) is showing Dr. Zira (Kim Hunter) when he says he wants to kiss her in Planet of the Apes. It’s respect, which Zira undermines immediately when she tells Taylor that he’s “so damned ugly.” Still, man-on-ape action makes your man (or woman)-on-whatever obsession seem less weird, right? Look out for Lake Powell and Glen Canyon while you’re watching those damned dirty apes.

Whether you’re in the mood for Hulu & Screw-U or Amazon Prime & Booty Time, these Utah-centric flicks are sure to wet your whistle

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22 | FEBRUARY 11, 2016

ESSENTIALS

the

ENTERTAINMENT PICKS FEB. 11-17, 2016

Complete Listings Online @ CityWeekly.net

THURSDAY 2.11

THURSDAY 2.11

FRIDAY 2.12

FRIDAY 2.12

At first, you have to get a feel for Maria Bamford’s tendency to switch characters/voices in a nanosecond. You need to adjust to her act’s pacing, how it initially feels agonizingly slow and awkward, with Bamford laying out her anxieties and flaws like open wounds that, of course, you don’t want to see—they remind you too much of your own.

Then comes the moment when you get it. You see Bamford’s meticulous comedic craftsmanship, and you laugh. A lot. Sometimes uncomfortably. Again, you’ve been there.

The Special Special Special! (2012, Netflix) illustrates this well. Bamford ratchets up the discomfort by filming the entire show in her own living room, with only her parents, crew, musical accompanist and dog as her audience. Letting millions of people see inside your home is scary enough. When you’re doing stand-up comedy, where audience reaction is part of the show, and you’ve got maybe six people listening—some focused more on doing their jobs? It’s brutal.

But Bamford crushes it. In the middle of her act, she realizes cookies are burning in the oven.

“Not cool. Not cool,” she deadpans while removing them, then hiss-whispers, “Okay … cookies.

Cookies! That’s what makes [the special] so special.” She serves them to her parents and crew anyway, telling her dad he can have two. Later, she calls a pee break and divulges that, “My dad had prostate surgery so, now, um … he has a bag.” Soon after, the pizza arrives. So weird. So awkward. But so, so funny. (Randy Harward) Maria Bamford @ Wiseguys Downtown, 194 S. 400 West, 801-532-5233, Thursday, Feb. 11, 7:30 p.m., $25. WiseguysComedy.com

We’re in an era where Marvel Comics is conquering the world. You can be a supporter of DC or any of the indie publishers, but the truth is Marvel has become an unstoppable pop-culture force.

We know this in part because Marvel is now stepping up its game in the live-performance department with Marvel Universe Live. Much like what its parent company, Disney, would do when it created Disney On Ice, this show brings together everyone’s favorite superheroes and villains from the hit films for an original action-packed showcase. Join “Earth’s mightiest heroes” as they venture forth to fix the Cosmic Cube, shattered by the hammer of Thor, and reunite its pieces before they fall into the vile hands of Loki, who seeks to destroy the planet. This is a cool opportunity to see a live-action show that took two years to plan and execute, giving both kids and adults a thrilling experience with these legendary heroes.

The show itself includes acrobatics, fighting, action sequences, awesome tech, aerial tricks and probably one of the biggest motorcycle battles you’ll see at Vivint shy of a motocross show. If you have a kid in your life who looks up to Iron Man, Black Widow, Captain America, Spider-Man, Wolverine and others, this is a no-brainer. They are going to become wrapped up in an exclusive adventure not seen on TV or the comics, and you’ll be right there with them enjoying the show as you become a kid again. (Gavin Sheehan) Marvel Universe Live @ Vivint Smart Home Arena, 301 W. South Temple, 801-325-7328, Feb. 11-14, various showtimes, $15-$60.

MarvelUniverseLive.com

Just in time for Valentine’s day, Ballet West presents John Cranko’s version of one of history’s greatest love stories. Utah audiences can enjoy Shakespeare’s classic tale of star-crossed lovers caught in the middle of their dueling families.

This specific version premiered in 1962 and has since been performed many times around the globe. Cranko’s choreography is considered one of the best ballet interpretations of the play, and is only licensed to four other ballet companies in the United States.

Set to music by Sergei Prokofiev, the performance also features extravagant sets, beautiful costumes, a full orchestra and a cast of 75 dancers.

Beckanne Sisk, Katie Critchlow, Arolyn Williams and Sayaka Ohtaki will share Juliet’s role, while Chase O’Connell, Alexander MacFarlan, Christopher Ruud and Rex Tilton will alternate as Romeo.

Informative discussions with members of the artistic staff are free to ticket holders. These warm ups begin promptly one hour prior to the show. Audience members can expect to learn about the background on the ballet and other interesting behind-the-scenes facts.

On Feb. 11, the company hosts a unique masquerade party, which offers attendees the opportunity to enjoy light refreshments, an exciting sword-fighting demonstration and a fun after party. They will also preview Act 1 from Romeo and Juliet. (Shawna Meyer) Ballet West’s Romeo & Juliet @ Janet Quinney Lawson Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 200 South, 801-355-2787, Feb. 12-20, various showtimes, $20-$107; Masquerade Party, Feb. 11, 6:30 p.m., tickets $55 advance, $65 at the door. BalletWest.org

In a departure for Modern West Fine Art— which specializes in showcasing artists of the West—its first show of 2016 features Dolan Geiman, whose mixed-media works accentuate the Southern flavor of his native Shenandoah Valley, and the use of found objects. Geiman follows in the grand tradition of rural outsider artists often associated with the South that has propagated since the ’50s all over the country in tandem with Americana folk arts.

His art is a kind of artistic ecology movement in its reclaiming of salvaged scraps of wood, metal and other materials, particularly old signage. The works in this show (“Vaquera Sudoeste” is pictured) emphasize his connection with the West; he has a studio in Denver and operates his art business out of Chicago. “Great Plains Collection: Mule Deer” deconstructs the familiar trophy animal on the wall, and “New American Past” depicts the collision of tradition and technology with a Native American with head-dress clutching a transistor radio.

There is a considerable design element to his work, and you can’t help but notice that a great many of them might work as home décor—while still making a statement. Even the two-dimensional works in this collection have a sculptural quality to them, and the 3-D pieces maintain the layering of collage. Existing under the accretion of layers of time is the traditional, with its ties to nature, and that is what persists.

(Brian Staker) Dolan Geiman @ Modern West Fine Art, 177 E. 200 South, 801-355-3383, through Feb. 13. ModernWestFineArt.com

Maria Bamford

Marvel Universe Live

Ballet West: Romeo and Juliet

Dolan Geiman

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G RAN D OPE N I NG! Saturday, February 20th

GET OUT

Katherine Pioli

The Printed Garden

A&E

FULL SERVICE FAMILY BOOKSTORE Ribbon Cutting at 3:00 p.m. and events throughout the afternoon. Food & cake will be provided!

• New, rare, signed & gently used books for all ages.

• Comfortable reading room for guest use & book clubs • Knowledgable staff • Study tables & games for guest use

T h e P r i n t e d G a r d e n • 385-695-2042 Tuesday-Saturday 10am-6pm 9445 S. Union Square, Suite A • Sandy, UT 84070

Trail Mix

Bountiful’s Mueller Park Trail is just one of many outings beyond familiar valley canyons.

BY KATHERINE PIOLI comments@cityweekly.net

S

alt Lakers are lucky to have the easy mountain access that so many enjoy.

The valley’s seven main canyons are just a short drive away, and each offers trails every way you turn. One could spend a lifetime exploring this small area from the Capitol to the Point of the Mountain and feel that you’ve seen almost everything the Wasatch has to offer—but, in truth, this grand range of the central Rocky Mountains stretches 250 miles from the Bear River in southeastern Idaho to Mount Nebo south of Provo. And every piece of it is worth exploring.

Forays beyond Salt Lake Valley’s canyons and shoreline trails are surprisingly easy.

In early February, I set out on a post-work hike that took me to a trail on the north side of the North Salt Lake refineries: the Mueller Park Trail in Bountiful. In the same amount of time that it takes me to drive from Sugar House to the top of Mill Creek Canyon, I arrived at the trailhead; an hour and a half later, I returned home just as quickly, despite rush-hour traffic. Though the parking area next to the trail only made room for a half-dozen vehicles, I was relieved to find that, unlike in Mill Creek, here I didn’t have to fight for a space.

That’s not to say I was the only one hiking that day. At the same time I hit the trail on foot with my dogs, an older man with an even older dog set out on cross-country skis (I wouldn’t recommend skiing the trail unless you like narrow, steep, slick crosscountry tracks; we easily stayed ahead of him the entire time). Around the first bend, I noticed a group of teenage skaters 50 yards up a steep side ravine enjoying the snow in a way totally new to me: hitting small jumps on their skate decks (the

wheels, I guess, they’d left at home).

Over the course of those 90 minutes I spent on the trail, I was passed by a couple of joggers, two walkers with a pack of very vocal dogs and a man on a fat bike—a relatively peaceful hike, considering the crowds one must sometimes navigate through on trails around Salt Lake City. Without the distraction of people around me, I soon found my mind wandering. What was I going to eat for dinner? And why do people ride fat bikes? Biking on snow in the winter is a phenomenon totally beyond me. It’s like eating a watermelon in January: There is a time and a place for watermelon, and that time is summertime. And there is a time and a place for biking, like spring, summer and fall. But winter is for skis, and sometimes walking, but not walking with snowshoes, unless you absolutely need them.

As I was trying to conceive of why anyone would wear snowshoes on a hard-packed trail, where there’s no real chance of falling through the snow and thus no need for equipment designed to keep you from sinking in powder—I see this all the time in Mill Creek, and it drives me crazy—I came upon a bend in the trail and stopped in my tracks. The view was breathtaking.

Since there were no leaves on the mountain maple and scrub oak, I had an unobscured view of the valley below and to the West.

Just beyond the narrow swath of city, a dull metallic strip of development, I could see a patchwork of soft browns and icy blues, the wetland marshes of the Farmington Bay Waterfowl Management Area. Beyond that glowed the Great Salt Lake. It stretched out placid and unbroken, its mirror surface reflecting the brilliance of the setting sun.

And then, even farther west, a long strand of purple mountains perfectly girded the lake’s distant shore. It was a view worth hiking for—and, I decided, gauging the light left in the day, the right place to turn back.

But before I turned down trail, I promised myself I would return. After all, I hadn’t even reached the trail’s most popular feature, Elephant Rock, at Mile Marker 3, or even come close to the end of the 13-mile Mueller Park Trail somewhere high in the wild Wasatch pines. CW

CALL FOR A RT I S T S F I G U RAT I VE A RT , ALL MEDIUMS

Contact TERENCE STEPHENS at ART270 GALLERY, 270 S.Main St., SLC, 801-558-1523 terencekstephens@comcast.net

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DEADLINE; Feb.13th, 5pm SHOW: Feb.18th-March 12th

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26 | FEBRUARY 11, 2016

FRIDAY 2.12

Steven Fales’ My Mormon Valentine

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In 2001, writer/actor Steven Fales performed his original work Confessions of a Mormon Boy as a reading at the Sunstone Symposium, premiering a full production later that year at the Rose Wagner Center.

The story mixed Mormon theology with Fales’ own coming-out story, exploring whether he would ever be able to unite with his children in the Celestial Kingdom, or find love and happiness on earth.

In the 15 intervening years, Fales has brought a version of that work to other audiences, including the Off Broadway stage. But the original version has never been back in front of audiences—until now.

The newly renamed My Mormon Valentine returns to that transformative story, in a series of performances that will include several special events. For the Sunday, Feb. 14, matinee, a two-for-one special allows you to bring your own Mormon Valentine. And on Feb. 20, proceeds from the performance benefit the Utah Pride Center. (Scott Renshaw) Steven Fales’ My Mormon Valentine @ The Leonardo, 209 E. 500 South, 800-838-3006, Feb. 11-March 5, 3 p.m. & 7 p.m., $10-$25. MormonBoyLive.BrownPaperTickets.com

PERFORMANCE THEATER

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels The Ziegfeld Theater, 3934 S. Washington Blvd., Ogden, 855-944-2787, through March 5, 8 p.m., TheZiegfeldTheater.com First Date: The Musical Midvale Main Street Theatre, 7711 Main, 801-566-0596, Feb. 12-14, 19 & 20, 7:30 p.m., MidvaleTheatre.com Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat Hale Center Theater Orem, 225 W. 400 North, Orem, 801-226-8600, Feb. 13-April 9, Monday-Friday, 7:30 p.m.; Saturday 3 p.m. & 7:30 p.m.; March 19 - April 9, Saturday 11 a.m., 3 p.m., 7:30 p.m., HaleTheater.org The Last Five Years The Grand Theatre, 1575 S. State, 801-957-3322, through Feb. 26, MondayFriday, 7 p.m., The-Grand.org Marvel Universe Live! Vivint Smart Home Arena, 301 W. South Temple, 801-355-7328, Feb. 11-12, 7 p.m.; Feb. 13, 11 a.m., 3 p.m. & 7 p.m.; Feb. 14, 1 p.m.

& 5 p.m., MarvelUniverseLive.com (see p. 22) My First Time A-Muses Productions, Mod A Go Go, 242 E. South Temple, 801-355-3334, Feb. 11-14; 7:30 p.m., ModAGoGo.com My Mormon Valentine: The Original Utah Version of Confessions of a Mormon BoyThe Leonardo, 209 E. 500 South, 801-531-9800, Feb. 11-March 5, 7 p.m.; Saturday matinees Feb. 14 & Feb. 27, 3 p.m., Facebook.com/MormonBoyLive (see above) My Valley Fair Lady Desert Star Theatre, 4861 S. State, Murray, 801-266-2600, through March 19, Monday & Wednesday-Saturday, multiple showtimes, DesertStar.biz The Pirate Queen Hale Centre Theatre, 3333 S. Decker Lake Drive, 801-984-9000, Feb. 12-Apr. 2, Weekdays at 7:30 p.m., Saturdays at 12:30 p.m., 4 p.m. & 7:30 p.m., HCT.org Star Ward The Off Broadway Theatre, 272 S. Main, 801-355-4628, Jan. 15-Feb. 20, Monday, Friday & Saturday, 7:30 p.m.; no performances Feb. 8-13, TheOBT.org Streetlight Woodpecker Salt Lake Acting Co., 168 W. 500 North, 801-363-7522, Feb. 10-March 6, Wednesday-Saturday, 7:30 p.m., Sunday, 1 p.m. & 6 p.m.; Feb. 23 & March 1, 7:30 p.m.; Feb. 27 & March 5, 2 p.m., SaltLakeActingCompany.org Thrill Me: The Leopold & Loeb Story Good Company Theatre, 260 25th St., Ogden, Feb. 12-28, Thursday-Saturday, 8 p.m.; Sundays, 4 p.m., GoodCoTheatre.com Twelfth Night Harris Fine Arts Center, 1 University Hill, 801-422-298, Feb. 13, 2 & 4 p.m.; Arts.BYU.edu

DANCE

Ballet West: Romeo and Juliet Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 200 South, 801-869-6920, Feb. 12, 13, 18-20, 7:30 p.m.; Feb. 14 & 17, 7 p.m.; Feb. 13, 14 & 20, 2 p.m., BalletWest.org (see p. 22)

CLASSICAL & SYMPHONY

75 Years of Bravo Broadway Utah Symphony,

moreESSENTIALS 123 W. South Temple, 801-355-2787, Feb. 12-13, 7:30 p.m., UtahSymphony.org Utah Philharmonia Concerto winners Libby Gardner Hall, 1375 E. Presidents Circle, 801-5816762, Thursday, Feb. 11, 7:30 p.m., Music.Utah.edu

COMEDY & IMPROV

Cash Levy Wiseguys Downtown, 194 S. 400 West, 801-532-5233, Feb. 12-13, 7:30 & 9:30 p.m.; Feb. 14, 7 p.m., WiseguysComedy.com The He & She Show Valentine’s Stand-Up w/ Doug and Teresa Wyckoff Sandy Station, 8925 S. Harrison St., Sandy, 801-255-2078, Feb 12-13, 8:30 p.m., SandyStation.com Improv at the Library Park City Library, 1255 Park Ave., Park City, 435-615-5600, Feb. 17, 8-9 p.m., ParkCityLibrary.org Laughing Stock Improv The Off Broadway Theatre, 272 S. Main, 801-355-4628, Fridays & Saturdays, 10 p.m., LaughingStock.us Maria Bamford Wiseguys Downtown, 194 S. 400 West, 801-532-5233, Feb. 11, 7:30 p.m., WiseguysComedy.com (see p. 22) Quickwits Midvale Performing Arts Center, 695 W. Center St., Midvale, 801-824-0523, Saturdays, 10 p.m., QWComedy.com Steve Soelberg Wiseguys Ogden, 269 Historic 25th St., 801-622-5588, Feb. 12-13, 8 p.m., WiseGuysComedy.com

LITERATURE AUTHOR APPEARANCES

Anne Newman Sutton Weeks Poetry Series: Marianne Boruch and Brandon Som Westminster College, 1840 S. 1300 East, 801832-2682, Thursday, Feb. 11, 7 p.m., News.WestminsterCollege.edu Dan Wells: Bluescreen Weller Book Works, 607 Trolley Square, 801-328-2586, Feb. 16, 7 p.m., WellerBookWorks.com Ed Rutan: If I Have to Go and Fight, I Am Willing Weller Bookworks, 665 E. 600 South, 801-328-2586, Thursday, Feb. 11, 5:30 p.m., WellerBookworks.com Nicole Castroman: Blackhearts The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, 801-4849100, Feb. 13, 1 p.m., KingsEnglish.com Richard Fifield: The Flood Girls Utah Pride Center, 255 E. 400 South, 801-484-9100, Thursday, Feb. 11, 7 p.m., KingsEnglish.com Ruta Sepetys: Salt to the Sea The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, 801-4849100, Friday, Feb. 12, 7 p.m., KingsEnglish.com

SPECIAL EVENTS FESTIVALS, FAIRS & EVENTS

Ballet West Masquerade Party Capitol Theatre,

50 W. 200 South, 801-869-6938, Feb. 11, 6:30 p.m., BalletWest.org Banff Film Festival Kingsbury Hall, University of Utah, 201 Presidents Circle, Salt Lake City, 801581-7100, Feb. 16-18, 7 p.m., Tickets.Utah.edu Tahoe Adventure Film Festival O.P. Rockwell, 268 Main, Park City, Feb. 13, doors open at 5 p.m., show at 6 p.m., LakeTahoeFilmFestival.com Tumbleweeds Film Festival Screening: Kid Flix Mix Various venues, Feb. 13-26, multiple showtimes, UtahFilmCenter.org Vienna Ball University of Utah, Olpin Union Ballroom, 200 S. Central Campus, 801-250-9419, Feb. 13, 8 p.m., SaltLakeSymphony.org

VISUAL ART GALLERIES & MUSEUMS

24 Hours in China: Photography from the China Overseas Exchange Association, Part Two Salt Lake City Main Library, 210 E. 400 South, 801-524-8200, through Feb. 21, SLCPL.org Andrew Moncrief: A Strange Feeling Utah Museum of Contemporary Art, 20 S. West Temple, 801-328-4201, through March 19, UtahMOCA.org The Art of the Needle Utah Cultural Celebration Center, 1355 W. 3100 South, 801-965-5108, through March 2, CulturalCelebration.org Blackened White: Works by John Sproul Sweet Library, 455 F Street, 801-594-8951, through Feb. 20, SLCPL.org Carina Barajas: Objects and Self Mestizo Gallery, 631 W. North Temple, 801-361-5662, through Feb. 12, MestizoArts.org The Color of Being Art Access Gallery, 230 S. 500 West Ste. 125, 801-328-0703, through Feb. 12, AccessArt.org Cultivate Alice Gallery, 617 E. South Temple, through March 4, VisualArts.Utah.gov David Brothers: Rolithica Utah Museum of Contemporary Art, 20 S. West Temple, 801-3284201, through April 30, UtahMoca.org Dolan Geiman Modern West Fine Art, 177 E. 200 South, 801-355-3383, through Feb. 13, ModernWestFineArt.com (see p. 22) Grant Fuhst: The Yearning Curve Art Barn/ Finch Lane Gallery, 54 Finch Lane, 801-5965000, through Feb. 26, SaltLakeArts.org Larry Revoir: July 16, 1945: Enter the Anthropocene Art Barn/Finch Lane Gallery, 54 Finch Lane, 801-596-5000, through Feb. 26, SaltLakeArts.org Lindey Carter & Rebecca Klundt Phillips Gallery, 444 E. 200 South, 801-364-8293, through Feb. 12, Phillips-Gallery.com Nuns and Other Spiritual Grrls: Paintings by Carol Berrey Anderson-Foothill Library, 1135 S. 2100 East, 801-594-8611, through Feb. 25, SLCPL.org Paul Crow: Here Utah Museum of Contemporary Art, 20 S. West Temple, 801-3284201, through April 30, UtahMOCA.org Raw and Cooked Rio Gallery, 300 S. Rio Grande St., 801-245-7270, through March 11, Heritage.Utah.gov To Express: To Set Forth in Words Art Access II Gallery, 230 S. 500 West Ste. 125, 801-3280703, through Feb. 12, AccessArt.org Water and Light: Photography by Raymond Marlow Chapman Library, 577 S. 900 West, 801-595-8623, through Feb. 25, SLCPL.org Yoshua Okon: Oracle Utah Museum of Contemporary Art, 20 S. West Temple, 801-3284201, through April 30, UtahMOCA.org

FINE DINING

Not-So-New Yorker

DINE

Das ist gut n

sse e t a c Deli ant n a r Germ Restau &

A Salt Lake City restaurant stands the test of time.

BY TED SCHEFFLER comments@cityweekly.net @critic1

JOHN TAYLOR

I

Catering available Catering Available

New Yorker’s grilled Maine lobster fettucine

BISTRO

THAI CUISINE

Lunch MON-FRI 11-3pm Dinner MON-THUR 5pm-9pm FRI 5pm-10pm Saturday 12pm-10pm Sunday 4pm-9pm Comin

g Soon

ZAAB NOOD LE

3300 S. SLC, 8 168 E. 4115

868 E. 900 S. SLC, UT 84105 801-355-8899 thaigardenutah.com

FEBRUARY 11, 2016 | 27

60 W. Market St. 801-363-0166 NewYorkerSLC.com

THAI GARDEN

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NEW YORKER

We’re Back!!!

balsamic vinegar reduction ($10).

I love that Chef Pliler isn’t averse to putting dishes on his menu that could be considered a hard sell. To wit, one of the best things I ever tasted was his braised Sonoma rabbit with capers and Meyer lemon sauce. But it wasn’t very popular because, apparently, a lot of folks eschew eating bunnies. He’s also had sweetbreads on the menu a few times, another item that’s a bit hard to move among Utah diners. Still, you will find Venetian-style veal liver and sautéed onion and creamy polenta ($28) on the menu, a favorite especially with some of the New Yorker’s old timers.

The grilled Maine lobster fettuccine ($38) is my go-to New Yorker dish, but this time I couldn’t resist the Long Island duck confit ($34). Pliler slowly cooks it in duck fat, garlic, salt and thyme, rendering it crispy and rich. The half-duck portion is served with wild rice and huckleberry sauce and is divine. Still, my wife’s ono entrée was even better. Ono is a firm-fleshed fish, and the large, thick filet was cooked to perfection—flaky and tender, served with minced tomato, fresh corn kernels, fava beans, zucchini, onion and micro greens ($34).

The New Yorker might not be the newest kid on the block anymore, but it is aging gracefully. And, with Will Pliler running the show, it’s still a spot to enjoy some of the best cooking in town. CW

Open Mon-Wed: 9am-6pm Thu-Sat: 9am-9pm 20 W. 200 S. • (801) 355-3891

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New Yorker with a terrine of housemade chicken liver pâté ($14), accompanied by a generous helping of 10 grilled French bread slices—it’s enough to feed a crowd. The pâté is silky and smooth but also dark and rich, served with a sweet and tangy wild huckleberry sauce. We didn’t want to fill up on it, delicious as it was, so we had a few bites and took the rest home. We always enjoy Chef Pliler’s perfectly cooked and crispy fried calamari ($16) with Asian slaw and sweet chile sauce, but a new starter on the menu is also enticing: fresh burrata prosciutto with arugula, balsamic vinegar reduction and a grilled baguette ($14).

While the aforementioned items are designed for sharing, I’m stingy with regular appetizers like the crock of onion soup gratinée ($10), made with Swiss and Parmesan cheeses, and even more protective of my single favorite starter: the ahi tuna, mango and avocado “tower,” which is drizzled with a lovely sesame vinaigrette, along with chive oil and micro greens ($18).

If you’re in the mood for something truly classic—and which I’d bet has been on the New Yorker menu since the day it opened— go with the jumbo shrimp cocktail made with housemade horseradish sauce ($18).

The seafood chopped salad ($12) is my favorite of the salad offerings, and our server was kind enough to deliver it on two plates for sharing. It could easily serve as an entrée: a generous serving of chopped iceberg lettuce and radicchio, tossed with chick peas, grape tomatoes, tiny bay shrimp, Maine lobster chunks and whole claws, jumbo shrimp, Provolone, olives, cherry peppers and homemade Louie dressing (similar to Thousand Island). For a salad that’s a bit more nouveau, try the organic greens with figs, toasted walnuts, prosciutto di Parma, buttermilk blue cheese, California extra virgin olive oil and

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

t’s a pity that the venerable New Yorker restaurant—one of Salt Lake City’s most enduring and endearing—isn’t open on Sundays, because it would be an ideal spot to celebrate Valentine’s Day. But, of course, you could call on Cupid early by dining there on Friday or Saturday night during Valentine’s weekend.

The New Yorker is the type of restaurant—one of the few left standing—that makes you want to show up in a suit and tie, or at least a sport jacket. It’s an eatery to which the term “fine dining” still applies, as restaurants in general become more and more casual. Not that there’s a dress code.

You could show up for dinner at the New Yorker in cargo shorts and a T-shirt, but you shouldn’t. This is a place where manners and service still matter, from the highheeled hostess who warmly seats you to the general manager and servers.

A bit of history: Originally built as the 75room New York Hotel in 1906, the deteriorating building was renovated and remodeled during the mid-1970s and opened as the New Yorker restaurant in 1978 by partners John Williams and the late Tom Sieg.

A couple years later, Tom Guinney would join the partnership and help to open the Market Street Grill in the same building.

Since its inception, the New Yorker has been known for its blend of art deco and contemporary décor and ambiance. Williams, Sieg and Guinney always turned to local artists for the unique and original art that hangs in their restaurants, and I was touched to see a colorful portrait of Sieg, who died in 2008, hanging at the bar, in front of the seat he seemingly always occupied, serving as an amiable host to guests old and new.

There is nothing cutting-edge about the New Yorker. You won’t find blistered shishito peppers or pork belly on the menu.

What you will find is classic cuisine with a continental leaning and contemporary flair. Executive chef Will Pliler, now also a partner in the New Yorker, has been at the helm in the kitchen for as long as I can remember. And, also for as long as I can remember, I’ve never had a bad meal there.

He might not get the press and accolades that some of his younger counterparts do, but Pliler is as solid as they come.

So, consider kicking off a meal at the

@critic1

Makin’ Bacon

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New Year at J. Wong’s

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J. Wong’s Thai & Chinese Bistro (163 W. 200 South, 801-350-0888, JWongUtah. com) welcomes the Chinese New Year (Feb. 8, 2016)—the Year of the Monkey—with a Lion Dance, performed at the restaurant

by Sil Lum Kung Fu Kwoon on Feb. 1920, beginning at 6:30 p.m. each evening.

In conjunction with the Chinese New Year, J. Wong’s will offer three special dishes, available by 24-hour advance order only: whole red snapper in Chinese garlic sauce, slow-roasted pork and longevity lo mein. J. Wong’s recommends making advance reservations for its Chinese New Year celebration and suggests that guests plan to arrive by 6 p.m., if possible, so as not to miss the colorful and entertaining dance.

Spreading the Amour

Salt Lake City-based Amour Spreads (1329 S. 500 East, 888-554-6845, AmourSpreads. com) kicked off the new year by celebrating a very prestigious award: Its Black Currant Blackberry Jam was the Gold Medal winner in the very competitive Preserves division of the Good Food Awards 2016 in San Francisco. “We’d like to take a moment to thank Jarrod Weeks and his brothers of Weeks Berries for their hard work, sustainable growing practices and for growing the delicious berries and currants in this jam,” says Amour Spreads owners John and Casee Francis, regarding their award.

But wait, there’s more! John and Casee also recently won approval for construction of a cafe as part of the remodel/expansion of their current location, which includes a retail space. Stay tuned here for updates.

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I thought the whole bacon thing was pretty much over. But apparently not at Rodizio Grill (600 S. 700 East, Trolley Square, 801-220-0500, RodizioGrill. com), where by popular demand, the restaurant is extending its popular Bacon Fest through the end of February. In addition to regular Rodizio favorites, baconinspired dishes such as Bacon Lover’s Cheese Bread, Golden Bacon Salad, Bacon’d Potatoes, Bacon-Wrapped Applewood Ham, Grilled Peppered Pork Belly and other bacon dishes are available to customers at no additional charge.

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The Pope’s White Wine

Getting to know Châteauneuf-du-Pape Blanc

BY TED SCHEFFLER comments@cityweekly.net @critic1

I

’m frequently asked about my favorite wine. And, I don’t usually have a ready answer because the wine I’m drinking depends greatly on the food I’m eating (or not eating), the company I’m with, price, location, time, temperature and other factors. I don’t really have a “favorite wine.”

Rather, I have lots of favorites.

Having begged the question, I will say that if I were exiled to a remote island and could only bring one type of wine with me, it would probably be Châteauneuf-duPape. I adore its racy, dense, earthy red wines, but my one true love is that lesserknown little tart of the southern Rhône: Châteauneuf-du-Pape Blanc.

White Châteauneuf-du-Pape is always

made from some (but rarely all) of the following six grape varieties: Roussanne, Grenache Blanc, Bourboulenc, Clairette, Picpoul and Picardan. But let’s back up just a bit. This strange-sounding French wine translates as “new castle of the Pope” and is named for the time in the 14th century when the walled-in city of Avignon, in the south of France, was the Pope’s residence, instead of Rome. The town of Châteauneufdu-Pape is only about 15 minutes or so from Avignon, and the region of Châteauneufdu-Pape—the southernmost of the important Rhône wine appellations—boasts the world’s best producers of this extraordinary wine: Château de Beaucastel, Château Rayas, Château La Nerthe, Domaine de la Charbonnière and the like.

Unfortunately, white Châteauneuf-duPape tends to be as pricey, if not more so, than the red. Less than 5 percent of all Châteauneuf-du-Pape wine produced in France is Blanc, and very little of that finds its way to America. But it can be found—at a price. Here, grand vin Château de Beaucastel Blanc will run you about $93 a bottle, and the crème de la crème Beaucastel Châteauneuf-du-Pape Vieilles Vignes can set you back as much as $160, depending on its vintage.

Beaucastel Blanc is made from 80 percent Roussanne, 15 percent Grenache Blanc and 5 percent Bourboulenc, while the Beaucastel

DRINK Vieilles Vignes is a very rare 100 percent Roussanne.

Roussanne—which is the primary varietal of much highend Châteauneuf-du-Pape Blanc—is an aromatic, stylish and elegant grape. It’s frequently blended with Marsanne to take the edge off of that varietal.

A good Châteauneufdu-Pape Blanc (and there are plenty of insipid ones in the south of France) is a very dry wine that’s loaded with mineral flavors, along with ripe peach, pear and melon.

Chateau de Beaucastel Château neu f-du-Pape Blanc is typically a “fat” wine that will age well in the cellar. I can’t imagine a better match for a simple roast chicken with lemon and thyme or rosemary.

Sadly, I can’t often afford real Châteauneufdu-Pape, whether red or white. But I’ve become very fond of a poor-man’s substitute: La

Vieille Ferme Côtes du Luberon Blanc. You can’t beat the price at $7.99 for a 750ml bottle or $16.99 for 1500ml. It is a blend of equal parts (30 percent each) Grenache Blanc, Bourboulenc and Ugni Blanc, and 10 percent Roussanne.

An even better Château neu f-du-Pape Blanc substitute is Tablas Creek Vineyard Cotes de Tablas Blanc ($24.99).

The grapes come from Tablas Creek’s certified organic estate vineyard in Paso Robles, Calif. It’s a blend of four estate-grown southern Rhône varietals: Viognier, Grenache Blanc, Roussanne and Marsanne. As in the great white wines of the southern Rhône, Grenache Blanc and Roussanne provide fruitiness and a bit of fatness to this wine, while Viognier lends floral aromatics and stone-fruit flavors. It would be lovely for Valentine’s Day sipping. CW

AUTHENTIC JAPANESE CUISINE

30 | FEBRUARY 11, 2016

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Alta Lodge

Alta Lodge is surrounded by mountains, but the cuisine is not your typical lodge fare. In winter, the restaurant offers tasty sandwiches, soups, salads and daily lunch specials to both guests and the general public. A scrumptious four-course dinner is available to outside guests on a reservation basis. The menu ranges from a Thai chicken salad to a soft shell crab BLT sandwich. At Alta Lodge, there’s definitely something for every taste, which is perhaps why this mountaintop location was one of author William F. Buckley Jr.’s favorites. 10230 E. Utah Highway 210, Alta, 801-322-4631, AltaLodge.com

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Feldman’s Deli is a New York City-style deli specializing in Jewish soul food. With restaurant favorites like matzo-ball soup, knishes and overstuffed corned beef and pastrami sandwiches, you’ll feel like you’ve been transported to the Big Apple. Make sure to try the salami sandwich with garlicky, all-beef salami and provolone cheese. And bring your appetite: These sandwiches are huge—large enough to have leftovers for later. Other authentic treats include french fries, bagels, rich housemade kishka and much more. 2005 E. 2700 South, Salt Lake City, 801-906-0369, FeldmansDeli.com

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THE OTHER PLACE

At Cannella’s you’ll find a lunchtime crowd typically filled with lawyers and city workers from the nearby courthouse and city offices, enjoying classic Italian fare, friendly service and inexpensive prices. Enjoy your meal inside the restaurant or on a shaded sidewalk table. The soups and salads are solid, but you’ll really want to savor dishes like the spaghetti and meatballs, “Grandma’s” lasagna, three-cheese stuffed tortellini, chicken Alfredo, scampi with handmade gnocchi or good ol’ chicken Parmesan. The beer, spirits and wine menu rounds out a meal at Cannella’s nicely. 204 E. 500 South, Salt Lake City, 801-355-8518, CannellasRestaurant.com

Breakfast · Lunch · Dinner · Beer & Wine

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BE GOOD

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34 | FEBRUARY 11, 2016

DEADPOOL

Naughty Bits

CINEMA

Deadpool doesn’t earn its self-satisfaction at skewering comic-book movie clichés.

BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net @ScottRenshaw

I

t doesn’t take long for Deadpool to announce its intentions to be a somewhat different kind of comic-book movie.

As Juice Newton’s “Angel of the Morning” plays, and director Tim Miller circles his camera around a tableau of violence taking place inside the cab of an SUV, the on-screen credits introduce not actual names, but familiar types for this genre: “A British Villain;” “A Hot Chick;” “A Gratuitous Cameo.”

Yep, contemporary Hollywood cinema may be overflowing with costumed superheroes, but let there be no mistaking: This one’s going to be heading in a unique direction. This one’s got attitude.

If only it weren’t quite so self-satisfied with that attitude. And not entirely justified in it, either.

Anyone who’s familiar with the Marvel Comics anti-hero will be quick to assure you that the movie Deadpool’s recipe of violence, fourth-wall-breaking and subversion of comic-book tropes are all true to the character’s history on the page. And that certainly makes Deadpool a break from the norm when it comes to the safely PG-13 entries of the Marvel Cinematic Universe and its offshoots for other studios. But as funky as the movie often is, it’s neither as groundbreaking as it seems convinced it is, nor as clever. It feels like the kind of “edgy” that happens when a 20-year-old wouldbe stand-up comedian jumps on stage and starts dropping dick jokes as though he was the first guy brave enough to do it.

It’s certainly familiar in the sense that it’s a superhero-origin story, although the timeline splits that framework with a revenge-driven story. In the present day, we find the red-clad assassin Deadpool (Ryan Reynolds) seeking out a man named Francis (Ed Skrein) for his role in ruining his life. The specifics come in flashbacks to two years earlier, where we learn that Deadpool was once a mercenary named Wade Wilson,

who describes his job description as “a bad guy who gets paid to fuck up worse guys.” He also falls in love with a woman named Vanessa (Morena Baccarin), but their happiness is thwarted when Wade is diagnosed with terminal cancer, and subsequently submits to a mutating process that may save his life but will turn him into the nigh-immortal (and badly deformed) killing machine we saw at the outset.

Much of Deadpool is built around the sardonic rat-a-tat patter of Reynolds—revisiting the Wade Wilson character he originated in a very different form in X-Men Origins: Wolverine—and he’s good enough at it to keep the movie hopping. The gags are sporadically amusing, mostly on a “would definitely make Beavis & Butt-head laugh” level, but also venturing into silly bits at the expense of the X-Men universe of which this is a part, including commentary on the two different screen incarnations of Professor Charles Xavier. When the script by Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick (Zombieland) aims for true weirdness—like the slow-speed threat of being killed by a Zamboni— Deadpool feels like a breath of fresh air.

It is, however, a somewhat limited form of freshness. Like The Mask, it’s built around a motor-mouthed not-quite-hero who turns reality into a Tex Avery cartoon; like last year’s graphic-novel-based Kingsman: The Secret Service, it cracks its knuckles and dives into exploiting its R-rating for all the blood-spattered action it can churn out.

There’s more evolution than revolution in

Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool

Deadpool’s attempts to snicker at the things those other comic-book movies do—and when the movie trots out not one, but two different jokes based on Ryan Reynolds’ previous costumed incarnation, Green Lantern, it starts to feel that the movie is less about skewering fan-service-y blockbusters than providing a slightly different kind of fan service.

In fact, the irony of Deadpool is that it might actually be better at being a 21st century comic-book movie than it is at making fun of them. The action sequences—many of them involving X-Men’s armor-skinned Colossus—are thrillingly choreographed and include a terrific joke about fighting females, um, coming out of their clothes.

Even the obligatory origin story feels more inventive as a result of the back-and-forth timeline of the narrative. Deadpool isn’t half bad when it’s just going balls-out for genre pleasures; it’s a bit more irritating when it gets cocky about the fact that it’s willing to say “balls.” CW

DEADPOOL

BB.5 Ryan Reynolds Morena Baccarin Ed Skrein Rated R

TRY THESE The Mask (1994) Jim Carrey Cameron Diaz Rated PG-13

X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009) Hugh Jackman Liev Schreiber Rated PG-13

Zombieland (2009) Jesse Eisenberg Emma Stone Rated R

Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015) Colin Firth Taron Egerton Rated R

CINEMA CLIPS

MOVIE TIMES AND LOCATIONS AT CITYWEEKLY.NET

NEW THIS WEEK Information is correct at press time. Film release schedules are subject to change.

ACADEMY AWARD NOMINATED SHORT FILMS— DOCUMENTARY BBB.5 This year’s extraordinary nominees explore a diverse range of issues, all raging against injustices, whether institutional or personal. My pick for the winner is A Girl in the River: The Price of Forgiveness, a horrifying story of an attempted “honor killing” in Pakistan that masterfully portrays a culture that justifies killing women who defy men. Body Team 12 is about Liberian workers who collect the bodies of Ebola victims, and the social stigma accompanying their essential work, which violates customs for handling the dead. Chau, Beyond the Lines introduces us to an irrepressible Vietnamese teen who dreams of being an artist in spite of Agent Orange-induced disabilities, including weak arms and hands, and the disparagement of his peers. In Claude Lanzmann: Spectres of the Shoah, the French director reflects on the decade-long process of producing his landmark 10-hour Holocaust documentary, connecting his struggle to tell an impossibly huge story with the struggle of survivors to tell their own personal part in it. Finally, Last Day of Freedom uses haunting rotoscoped animation to underscore the bleak reality of the abandonment of military veterans, and the grief of their families. Opens Feb. 12 at Tower Theatre. (NR)—MaryAnn Johanson

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HOW TO BE SINGLE BB Sex and the City gets a pre-emptive name-check early on in this very loose adaptation of former SatC story editor Liz Tuccillo’s novel, but that doesn’t mean the movie can dodge the whiff of the overly familiar in this New York City-set tale. Alice (Dakota Johnson) is our Carrie, the soul-searcher; her sister, obstetrician Meg (Leslie Mann), is the flinty professional considering single motherhood à la Miranda; Robin (Rebel Wilson) is the Samantha-esque promiscuous party girl; and Lucy (Alison Brie) is the Charlotte who only wants to fall in love and get married.

The leads are all appealing actors, and each one gets a couple of showcase funny scenes. But the structure makes it virtually impossible for the characters to become anything besides those familiar archetypes; one relationship of Alice’s goes from first kiss to three-months-later break-up in literally five minutes of screen time. A few solid chuckles and a few attempts at dropping new catchphrases can’t erase the realization that the struggles of the urban singleton haven’t changed all that much in the 15 years since Carrie Bradshaw first got splashed by a bus. Opens Feb. 12 at theaters valleywide. (R)—Scott Renshaw

WHERE TO INVADE NEXT BBB Issue-oriented documentaries are so generally dour and panicinducing that an approach like the one Michael Moore takes here—“Hey, guys, there are solutions out there! Lots of them!

C’mon, let’s take a look!”—comes off as almost revolutionary. Though the title might suggest a ferocious takedown of American imperial warfare, it consists instead of Moore on a world tour to capture from other countries the resources that we most need: their good ideas on matters like worker vacations, healthy school lunches, free college education, prison reform, gender equality and more. Yes, Moore inevitably oversimplifies many of the subjects he addresses; it’s almost an afterthought when he mentions that Finland’s great public schools are in part a result of private for-profit schools being illegal there, which would never ever happen in America. But the often lighthearted tone applied to his fascinating, educational travelogue blends well with a concept that we sometimes need to be reminded of: The only thing that makes so many American problems seem unsolvable is our own damned stubbornness. Opens Feb. 12 at theaters valleywide. (PG-13)—SR

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

DEADPOOL BB.5 See review p. 34. Opens Feb. 12 at theaters valleywide. (R)

SON OF SAUL BBB.5 It’s easy to understand the gut reaction that there’s no new way to approach a drama about the Holocaust, or that it’s an easy grab for emotional weight. But László Nemes finds a gripping perspective in his story of Saul Ausländer (Géza Röhrig), a Hungarian Jew working in Auschwitz’ Sonderkommando workforce when he becomes obsessed with one dead boy that he identifies as his son, determined to secure a ritual Jewish burial for the body. Nemes’ prowling extended takes rarely feel like showy flourishes, instead creating a unique sense of the concentration camp as a physical space. And that physicality extends to the focus on the horrifying tasks given to the Sonderkommando—scrubbing down the showers in which Jews are gassed; shoveling out the ashes from the ovens—that emphasize the place as an assembly line for destroying human lives. Röhrig’s haunted, dead-eyed performance adds intensity to his single-minded quest, one that even ends up costing others their lives, as one man who now exists only to facilitate destruction tries to find purpose in treating at least one of those lives as something that deserves respect. Opens Feb. 12 at Broadway Centre Cinemas. (R)—SR

ZOOLANDER 2 [not yet reviewed] Male models Derek Zoolander (Ben Stiller) and Hansel (Owen Wilson) investigate who is killing the world’s most beautiful people. Opens Feb. 12 at theaters valleywide. (PG-13)

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SPECIAL SCREENINGS DOGMA At Brewvies, Feb. 15, 10 p.m. (R) FRAME BY FRAME At Main Library, Feb. 16, 7 p.m. (NR)

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JANIS: LITTLE GIRL BLUE At Park City Film Series, Feb. 12-13, 8 p.m.; Feb. 14, 6 p.m. (NR) OUR DAILY BREAD At Springville Museum of Art, Feb. 17, 7 p.m. (NR)

CURRENT RELEASES 45 YEARS BBBB Writer/director Andrew Haigh adapts David Constantine’s short story about a week in the lives of British couple Geoff and Kate Mercer (Tom Courtenay and Charlotte Rampling), as a relationship from Geoff’s past casts a shadow on their impending 45th anniversary party. Haigh brilliantly structures the story around the routines of the Mercers’ lives, providing a framework for details about Geoff’s previous relationship that affect each of them in different ways. And the two lead performances are magnificent: Courtenay conveying Geoff’s struggle to avoid contemplating a life that never was, and Rampling the crumbling belief that the life she had was ever meant to be. It builds to a finale that captures two colliding realities in the lives of these two people: the profound wish to focus on their previous happiness, and the suspicion that nothing can be the same. (R)—Scott Renshaw

ACADEMY AWARD NOMINATED SHORT FILMS—ANIMATED BBBB There’s a staggering amount of talent, imagination, emotion and creativity on display in this program, which features the five 2016 nominees as well as four additional shorts. Even if you’ve already seen the two most familiar nominees—Don Hertzfeldt’s epic-of-humanexperience World of Tomorrow and the Pixar entry Sanjay’s Super Team—you’ll get a fresh look at some of 2015’s best filmmaking of any kind. Gabriel Osorio’s Bear Story tells the heartbreaking tale of a bear using his mechanical skills to create a happy ending he didn’t find in life.

Konstatin Bronzit’s We Can’t Live Without the Cosmos chronicles the friendship between two men training to be astronauts. And Prologue, by veteran Disney animator Richard Williams is an intense pencilsketched snippet of ancient warriors in bloody combat. “Everyone deserves to win” may be a cliché, but here it applies. (NR)—SR

THE CHOICE BB Like most Nicholas Sparks adaptations, it’s a romantic drama set near the ocean, everybody has a dog and one of the principals is going to die (or almost die). This time it’s a small, folksy North Carolina town where hunky veterinarian Travis (Benjamin Walker) meets Gabby (Teresa Palmer), a vaguely uptight med student with a nice doctor boyfriend (Tom Welling) whom we’ll feel sorry for later. The film is full of half-developed threads that appear for a scene or two before being dropped, like vestiges of excised subplots. Travis and Gabby’s love story is blandly formulaic, and the plot twists are emotionally manipulative. But the performances are agreeable, the scenery is nice—and sometimes you want to have your emotions manipulated. If that’s the case, The Choice is less of an insane soap opera than a lot of Sparksbased movies. (PG-13)—Eric D. Snider

ACADEMY AWARD NOMINATED SHORT FILMS—LIVE ACTION BBB.5 The unifying theme of these five excellent films might be “We’re not alone.” Day One, from former U.S. army paratrooper Henry Hughes, follows the really rough first day of a new interpreter with a band of U.S. forces in Afghanistan. Ave Maria, from British-Palestinian filmmaker Basil Khalil, is a culture-clash comedy as Israeli settlers in the West Bank must work with Arab Christian nuns after a car accident outside their convent.

The other nominees: Patrick Vollrath’s Everything Will Be Okay, about a divorced dad who picks up his young daughter for an overnight visit that will not be like their typical weekend; Jamie Donoghue’s Shok, a coming-of-age tale in 1990s Serb-occupied Kosovo; and Benjamin Cleary’s Stutterer, about a typographer in London whose severe speech impediment limits his social options. All are well worth your time. (NR)—MAJ

HAIL, CAESAR! BBB.5 Few contemporary filmmakers create works that require more reflection than the Coen brothers—even when they’re turning out a “lighter” comedy. Set at a Hollywood studio circa 1951, it follows all-purpose fixer Eddie Mannix (Josh Brolin) as he puts out fires over the course of two days, most notably the kidnapping of star Baird Whitlock (George Clooney) from the set of a Biblical epic. The brothers have a blast creating scenes from several different kinds of era-appropriate movies, capturing the goofy delights they offered. And while the result often feels less than fully cohesive, Hail, Caesar! eventually comes together as a celebration of movies as a secular belief system. As wonderfully silly as it is in its individual moments and deadpan-perfect performances, it’s also surprisingly thoughtful about the way a crazy business manages to manufacture things that transport us. (PG-13)—SR

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KUNG FU PANDA 3 BB.5 Kung Fu Panda 2 improbably found another satisfying story in a character who should have lost all his charm with the acquisition of power at the end of the first movie. But Dragon Warrior Po (Jack Black) returns again to battle a powerful supernatural menace (J. K. Simmons) who is continuing a centuries-long, across-spiritual-planes battle with Master Oogway (Randall Duk Kim). Additional emotional resonance comes in Po’s reintroduction to the panda community—including his birth father (Bryan Cranston)—while returning Kung Fu Panda 2 director Jennifer Yuh guides action sequences that mix energetic choreography with often-dazzling visual design. But Black’s Po rarely taps into the earnest silliness that made him so much fun in the previous two films. All that’s left is for him to learn the same lesson in self-confidence that he’s already learned twice before, with diminishing returns. (PG)—SR

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE AND ZOMBIES BB.5 The title’s phrasing couldn’t be more apt: Seth Grahame-Smith’s mash-up doesn’t fold supernatural horror into Jane Austen so much as sprinkle it on as an afterthought. Much of Burr Steers’ adaptation plays as a straightforward version of the beloved story of Elizabeth Bennet (Lily James), Mr. Darcy (Sam Riley), et al., and a reasonably competent one. There’s even a somewhat inspired notion behind exploring Regency-era gender roles by turning the Bennet sisters into Shaolin-trained warriors against the undead. But those two elements clang off one another with almost impressive awkwardness, as though every 12 minutes or so an alarm went off indicating that it was time to pause the curtsies so someone could eat a brain. If only someone had figured out that you shouldn’t remember only occasionally that Lady Catherine De Bourgh has been turned into a one-eyed ninja. (R)—SR

TRUE

BY B I L L F RO S T @bill_frost

Rock On

TV Satisfaction Personality Crisis Dazed & Confused

Vinyl cranks the ‘70s; The Walking Dead and Better Call Saul return.

Vinyl Sunday, Feb. 14 (HBO)

Winter Premiere: When last we left The Walking Dead, Team Rick was leading (what’s left of) the Alexandrians quietly though the undead swarm that had breached the compound, disguised by walker guts but potentially exposed

by Jessie’s son whining for mommy (even in an apocalypse, kids are the worst). Meanwhile, outside Alexandria, Daryl, Sasha and Abraham had a meet-not-at-all-cute with the Saviors, a new band of grandiosely named road goons— but these goons are in league with mucho-hyped baddie Negan (incoming guest star Jeffrey Dean Morgan), who’s being built-up as the closest—thus, most dangerous— equal to Rick that the group has ever encountered. Not to mention all of the possible, comic-book-preordained character deaths—Happy Valentine’s Day!

Season Premiere: The 2015 debut season of Better Call Saul was a minor miracle that not only borrowed elements from, and expanded upon, a seemingly impossible-tofollow milestone TV series (Breaking Bad—like you needed to be reminded), but also built its own world in the span of 10 episodes, and proved Jimmy McGill/future Saul Goodman (Bob Odenkirk) could headline his own show.

Rather than sweat the follow-up to that follow-up, BCS jumps right back into the business of incrementally transforming small-time Albuquerque lawyer Slippin’ Jimmy into medium-time legal shark Saul Goodman. None show up early in Season 2, but it’s rumored that some (more) Breaking Bad characters will be making appearances on Better Call Saul—I know the odds-on favorite is Gus Fring, but I’m holding out for Badger and Skinny Pete.

Broad City Wednesday, Feb. 17 (Comedy Central)

Season Premiere: Between Full Frontal With Samantha Bee and Angie Tribeca on TBS, Younger and Teachers on TV Land, and Idiotsitter, Not Safe With Nikki Glaser and now, returning champions Broad City, on Comedy Central, it’s a great time for female-led comedy on cable—and that’s not even counting the resurgence of Sarah Palin on the news channels. Ilana Glazer and Abbi Jacobson’s stoner Laverne & Shirley was already renewed for Seasons 4 and 5 ahead of tonight’s Season 3 premiere, which means at least 30

Vinyl (HBO) more episodes of Brooklyn misadventures with the other Girls, and the occasional Hannibal Buress sighting sans subtitles. But right now, the biggest news of BC3 is that presidential still-a-candidate Hillary Clinton will drop in on Ilana and Abbi, which may or may not prompt a Bernie Sanders guest rebuttal on Workaholics.

Teachers Wednesdays (TV Land)

New Series: When Teachers was mentioned above, it’s entirely possible you thought to yourself, “What the hell’s that? Something else I have to catch up on?” Yes, it is— remember, There Are Too Many Shows. Along with The Jim Gaffigan Show, Impastor and Younger, Teachers is a part of TV Land’s makeover from reheated sitcom repository to smart comedy destination, and six-woman improv troupe The Katydids (their first names are all variations on “Katherine”) have inadvertently edged out Gaffigan on the funny front (sorry, Jim—it’s six against one). Imagine Super Troopers gender-flipped into an elementary school, dosed with Broad City’s fearless, vanity-free pursuit of so-wrong laughs. We’re only six episodes into Season 1—catch up on Hulu and TVLand.com, now.

Listen to Bill Mondays at 8 a.m. on X96 Radio From Hell, and on the TV Tan podcast via iTunes, Stitcher and BillFrost.tv.

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The Walking Dead Sunday, Feb. 14 (AMC)

Better Call Saul Monday, Feb. 15 (AMC)

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Series Debut: “What? You thought records got played because they’re good?” sniffs American Century Records president Richie Finestra (Bobby Cannavale), explaining away the radio-payola tactics of his marketing right-hand man (Ray Romano) who secures the label’s bands airplay with a little coke and a lot of cash. Thing is, Richie loves good music—he can hear a hit instantly, and gets downright misty-eyed over real artistry. Likewise, Vinyl, an early-’70s-set remix of the New York City music scene fact and fairy tale, loves rock ’n’ roll. It crams real-deal period tunes into nearly every second of every scene (with the exception of Led Zeppelin’s—glaring, since the band figures prominently and hilariously into Vinyl’s two-hour premiere episode). It’s all as excessive and beautiful as you’d expect a collaboration between Martin Scorsese, Terence Winter and Mick Jagger to be. It blends Almost Famous’ music-saves earnestness with Velvet Goldmine’s visceral glam bombast and cranking it to 11, the buzz only blunted by the occasional too-long quiet stretch and cliché-weary voiceover. Like a good rock show, Vinyl’s first episode is exhausting—and there are eight more to come, so strap on your most sensible platform boots.

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38 | FEBRUARY 11, 2016

ANDREW SHAW

Shaw ‘Nuff JOHNNYSONSECOND.com

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frequent occurrence in the Salt Lake City music scene is musicians working in multiple bands. A guitarist in one band might play bass in another, or seven bands might share the same awesome drummer. Meet Andrew Shaw, whose two projects, Color Animal and Magic Mint, collide on a split 7-inch that he’ll release Feb. 13 at Diabolical Records.

A Nebraska transplant, Shaw is a lifelong musician, playing piano since age 7, moving on to playing brass in high school bands and jamming out to Lemonheads covers on a nylon-string classical guitar. Shaw stuck mostly to folk music until he moved to Salt Lake City in 2003 and found his niche in the alternative music crowd. For the past 12 years, Shaw has been a founder and instrumental figure in bands like The Adonis, Chanticleer the Clever Cowboy, The Platte, Bluebird Radio, Calico, Albino Father and The Sister Act. He’s also had the pleasure of sitting in with Band of Annuals, David Williams and Will Sartain’s solo projects.

“I love the community involved with getting in a room and playing with other musicians,” Shaw says. “I love the exploration of music—that I can sit down in an empty room with a quiet instrument and find something beautiful or sad or disruptive to come out of it. I love arrangement because it’s like a puzzle. What pieces are missing to make this song feel complete? What can I bring to it to make it sparkle?”

In recent years, Shaw has been focused primarily on his solo work, and two specific bands. The first, Color Animal, was hatched with Calico drummer Tyler Ford after that band ended. The duo played a softer kind of garage rock, but Shaw shelved the band until mid-2012, when he and Ford brought in Felicia Baca on bass and Nick Neihart on guitar, and the foursome quickly recorded their debut album, Vision Lies (2013, ColorAnimalRocks.Bandcamp.com).

When Neihart departed a year later, Seth Howe took over. After a few singles, Color Animal released another album, Bubble Gum, in the summer of 2014. The band’s third LP, Why Don’t We Have Fun?, is due April 2.

While recording Bubble Gum, Shaw found himself writing surf and psych-rock riffs that didn’t quite fit Color Animal’s sound.

Shaw decided to pursue it as a solo endeavor, which he christened Magic Mint. In 2014, he released the first Magic Mint EP, Grand America (MagicMint.Bandcamp.com). Recording entirely in the Zion Building of the Utah State Fairpark, Shaw would stay up into the wee hours of the morning getting the right sounds out of single-take recordings from the echo-filled building. The project gave Shaw independence from his band, which required much more scheduling and time to make shows and recordings happen.

Shaw enjoys that each project presented new aspects and challenges that the other couldn’t afford. “I feel like [Color Animal] is making the best music of our career right now,” Shaw said. “The most appealing part of it is getting together with Felicia, Seth and Tyler. I don’t know what I’d do without those buds in my life. My favorite part of Magic Mint is that it combines my indie pop songwriting and my improvisational loop-based work. Performing as

Andrew Shaw of Color Animal and Magic Mint Magic Mint is like walking a tight-rope, and I love that unbalanced feeling of trying to get everything in the right place.”

The two acts combined forces for a new 7-inch release, an effort they undertook after bring approached by local label Hail Atlantis Records. The two Color Animal tracks, “Heal Me” and “Sleep Death,” were originally recorded for consideration by SLUG magazine’s Death By Salt V compilation. Meanwhile, the Magic Mint side contains an extended track called “Left Foot Right Foot,” recorded for the soundtrack to Kenny Riches’ film The Strongest Man, but which didn’t make the final cut. Both sides show where each band is headed musically over the next year.

Once all the albums have been released, Shaw and company will be looking forward to their next awesome gig as featured acts with the Municipal Ballet Co. in 2016. Their performances are currently scheduled for May 12-14. “They are choreographing new ballet pieces to our music, and we will play with them live at their shows,” Shaw says. “It’s an incredible honor to be selected to work with them. Everyone we’ve met associated with the group has been energetic and lovely. I’m so stoked to see this project come together.” CW

COLOR ANIMAL VS. MAGIC MINT SPLIT 7-INCH RELEASE SHOW

w/ Strong Words Diabolical Records 238 S. Edison St. 801-792-9204 Saturday, Feb. 13, 8 p.m.

Free Facebook.com/DiabolicalRecords

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FEBRUARY 11, 2016 | 39

MUSIC

Pop Puck

Chicago’s Knuckle Puck and pop punk mature together.

BY DOUG BRIAN comments@cityweekly.net

The Best Valentine’s Day event is upon us! Bring your love, your friends, or yourself, and celebrate in style with us here at Gracie’s!

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To confirm your spot call (385) 424-2592.

Seating is very limited, grab your reservation before it’s too late!

40 | FEBRUARY 11, 2016

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ver time—as it has divided and subdivided into subgenres, and through general misappropriation—the definition of “punk” has become nebulous. Now, one of those subdivisions, “pop punk,” is experiencing similar dilution.

Green Day, The Offspring and Blink-182 brought pop punk to the masses in the mid-’90s. Since then, the defining bands of the genre have come and gone, giving way to more emo-influenced acts like Fall Out Boy and Panic! at the Disco. In 2016, pop punk has new leading forces: bands like The Story So Far, The Wonder Years and Chicago’s Knuckle Puck.

Speaking with City Weekly via phone from his home in Chicago, Knuckle Puck guitarist Kevin Maida says he definitely sees why the genre has changed. “If something stays the same for 20 years, I don’t think it would last for 20 years in the first place,” he says. “Things have to change if they want to increase longevity … that’s just a natural process.”

He sees the change reflected in Knuckle Puck’s influences. When they started out in 2011, they wanted to play fast, catchy, upbeat songs like “Lifetime, Blink-182, The Starting Line, Jimmy Eat World,” he says. “There were no bands in our local area that were playing songs like that, so we wanted to be that band.”

So, the change happened as part of the natural evolution of music. But why has pop punk changed the way it has? Why has it gone from the four-chord rehashes of one song, to the technically complex and more melodic sound with more mature and introspective lyrical themes? “I can’t quite put a finger on it,” Maida answers. “I think that musicians were getting bored of the same-old, sameold, and saying, ‘Let’s try and revamp it and throw new things in there to make it more interesting to us as musicians.’”

The same is true for Knuckle Puck. Four years into their career, with their first major

Knuckle Puck

release, Copacetic, out on Rise Records, Maida reflects on the changes in his band: “I never would have thought I’d be in a band that plays music like how some of the album sounds.”

In their early days, they tried hard to write happy, fast-paced songs that it almost became a habit. When they sat down to write for Copacetic, they realized they’d changed. “It was actually hard to write a fast part or an upbeat part. That’s what we had to work at,” Maida says. “And it’s funny, because it’s flipped so much.”

Knuckle Puck’s songs remain catchy; a number of songs on Copacetic are real earworms. “Disdain” is one of the faster tracks on the album, with a hooky chorus and rapid vocal delivery, and “True Contrite” plays more like a ballad with memorable riffs and almost an invitation to move to the beat.

But behind the sweeping guitar melodies are sometimes quite melancholy lyrics— some about heartbreak, some about the regrets of long-distance relationships—and some about reassuring yourself that, as Maida puts it, “I’m fine, I’m OK.” That’s not far from the original pop punk, when Green Day sang about being basket cases, the Offspring fretted about low selfesteem, and Blink-182 pondered how growing up means looking out for yourself. It’s as though pop punk is doing some growing up of its own, as groups like Knuckle Puck introduce more musical and thematic complexity than was there before, while retaining the genre’s hallmark tempo.

While wanting to prove their maturity as artists, Knuckle Puck and others are making sure they have fun at the same time. For some of them, this means taking the changes of pop punk in stride and making them their own, as artists have. To Maida, all the change and maturity is a way of shaking things up, and that in the end, “When we keep things interesting, it’s more fun that way.” CW

KNUCKLE PUCK

w/ State Champs, Neck Deep, Like Pacific The Complex 536 W. 100 South 801-528-9197 Wednesday, Feb. 17, 7 p.m. $16 in advance; $19 day of show TheComplexSLC.com

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THURSDAY 2.11

Dr. Dog, The Bright Light Social Hour

Pennsylvania psych band Dr. Dog visits on the heels of their Feb. 5 album release, The Psychedelic Swamp (Anti-). Like some jam bands—which they are not—they enjoy a bit of whimsy. But even given their onstage proliferation of sunglasses and Hawaiian shirts, their brand of psych is more on a par with lo-fi stalwarts like Pavement or Modest Mouse.

It’s not the kind of swamp that many psych fans imagine as lush, hallucinogenic wetlands.

It’s more like a bog of sonic peat moss—not as welcoming, but more basic instrumentally and melodically, in an odd way more given to nurturing aural expansiveness. The use of samples on a song like “Badvertise” shows pop culture as a bad trip, but inspiring a sweet song. Openers Bright Lights Social Hour bring their more artsy take on psych from Austin, Texas. (BS) The Depot, 400 W. South Temple, 8 p.m., $25, DepotSLC.com

SATURDAY 2.13 Metalachi

Reverse-engineer the portmanteau of their name, and you’ll know Metalachi’s deal: classic heavy-metal songs through a mariachi and banda filter. On their debut album, Uno (Metalachi.com), they rework such metal chestnuts as Dio’s “Rainbow in the Dark,” Alice in Chains’ “Man in the Box” and Guns ‘N Roses’ “Sweet Child O’ Mine,” replacing lead guitar with brass and bass with a pinche guitarrón. The songs keep their original badass-ness, while achieving a new and different cool. I mean, imagine replacing the pilgrims and American Indians in Iron Maiden’s “Run to the Hills” with conquistadors and Aztecs

Metalachi

and temples and still-beating hearts.

And then they tackle Led Zeppelin’s “Immigrant Song.” Hell, yeah. (RH) The Urban Lounge, 241 S. 500 East, 8 p.m., $10 in advance, $12 day of show, TheUrbanLoungeSLC.com

SUNDAY 2.14

Nahko and Medicine for the People

All signs point to this self-dubbed “little brown man and his troubadours” being a stereotypical barefoot, peace-and-love-preachin’ group of hippies playing feel-good acoustic music. It’s like that, and it’s not. While some similar acts can be same-y and ostensibly contrived, Nahko Bear and company are the realness. While they do, indeed, play that barefoot and mostly acoustic music, it’s no affectation. Nahko’s preaching about things like “transcending the holy makeup” draws from American Indian, Hawaiian and even Hindu philosophy, and he comes off more like a regular dude who just wants to inspire people, and doesn’t take himself too seriously.

Take, for example, this quote from Wash It Away, a four-part “Nahko doco” on YouTube: “You fuckin’ can do anything that you wanna do: with grace, integrity, power and manifesto—gusto? Manifest gusto? Manigusto.” But when he is serious, he has a way of distilling his wisdom into just a couple of lines: “I am no master, and I know nothin’/ But I am a servant and I know somethin’.” With Jon Wayne & the Pain. (RH) The Depot, 400 W. South Temple, 8 p.m., $20 in advance, $24 day of show, DepotSLC.com

Dr. Dog

MONDAY 2.15

Cradle of Filth, Butcher Babies, Ne Obliviscaris

Cradle of Filth is the kind of black-metal band that makes genre purists argue over whether or not they really are a black-metal band. Even singer Dani Filth—despite CoF’s use of corpse paint, tremolo picking and shrieked vocals— rejects the label, calling it a fad. Yet Cradle of Filth persists, somewhere at a point in, at least, extreme metal. In similar fashion, Los Angeles group Butcher Babies resist pigeonholing, influenced by Slipknot and Slayer but also Wendy O. Williams of the classic punk outfit The Plasmatics, whom BB frontwomen Carla Harvey and Heidi Shepherd idolize. Do they play metalcore? Groove metal? Nu-post-hardcore?

Maybe an amalgam of the lot. Aussie sextet Ne Obliviscaris is at least somewhat easier to classify, adding violin to lightning-fast death metal shredding and double-bass drumming.

(DB) The Complex, 536 W. 100 South, 7 p.m., $25 in advance, $30 day of show, TheComplexSLC.com »

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Hoodie Allen, Superduperkyle, Blackbear

Hoodie Allen

University of Pennsylvania graduate Hoodie Allen got his shot at the ever-growing world of hip-hop, took it, and made it. His hattip to director Woody Allen is the tip of the irreverence iceberg, with lyrics poking fun at fashion designer Alexander McQueen and Garfield’s Odie, and suggesting he’ll do anything but abstinence. His latest, Happy Camper (self-released) peaked at No. 28 on the Billboard 200. With him, out of Ventura, Calif., is Superduperkyle. Really? Yeah! Or so he repeats, over and over, in his hit, “Really?

Yeah!” With his bright-colored music videos and smooth flow, Superduperkyle is working to earn his title. Also from the Los Angeles area, Blackbear is more R&B than hip-hop, more melodic and minimalist than his tour mates. (DB) The Complex, 536 W. 100 South, 7 p.m., $25 in advance, $30 day of show, TheComplexSLC.com

DIRTY OLD MEN

WEDNESDAY 2.17 Metric

In the Great White North, a nomination for a Juno (read: Canadian Grammy analog) is a pretty big deal. But then singer-songwriter Emily Haines and lead guitarist James Shaw of Toronto rock band Metric also play with Broken Social Scene, one of the most critically lauded Canadian indie bands of the 2000s.

Metric’s 2013 release, Synthetica, (Mom & Pop Music) netted them numerous Junos, including Alternative Album of the Year and Recording Package of the Year. Their music is smooth and highly produced, but inventive and edgy enough to escape mainstream stereotyping.

The follow-up, Pagans in Vegas (Universal, 2015) reached No. 9 on Billboard’s Indie Album charts. Even though converting to the metric system has been a bit much for Americans to wrap their heads around, the music of the band Metric is an easy fit. Rochester, N.Y. indie band Joywave opens. (BS) The Depot, 400 W. South Temple, 9 p.m., $32.50 in advance, $35 day of show, DepotSLC.com

BIG REDD PROMOTIONS PRESENTS

TUESDAY NIGHTS

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 12TH

CASH PRIZES

TUT & ALEX CANNABOWLS CRYING WOLF OUTSIDE OF SOCIETY

8PM SIGN IN | 9PM START FT. DJ BENTLEY ON THE 1S & 2S

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 13TH

STARTS @ 7PM

DIVINE SUNSET & HIGH WYRED

8136 SO. STATE ST 801-566-3222

$5 TICKETS | 21+

FACEBOOK.COM/ABARNAMEDSUESTATE

EAT AT SUE’S! YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD BAR · FREE GAME ROOM, AS ALWAYS!

OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK ★ 11AM-1AM

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4242 S. STATE 801-265-9889

GIFT CERTIFICATES AVAILABLE at

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READERS

BALLOT RECOGNIZING THE FINEST IN UTAH’S MUSIC SCENE.

You’ll notice a few changes to Best of Utah Music 2016 competition. This year, the voting will be done entirely online (with no showcases as we have done in the past).Winners’ names will be published in the March 3 City Weekly, after which, City Weekly will host a grand winners’ party. Also, three of the winners will be invited to open a show at the Twilight Concert Series next summer. So, if you love local music, go online now, research the nominees, and vote for your favorites.

BEST ROCK ARTIST

The Lovestrange Candy’s River House Top Dead Celebrity The Weekenders Foster Body

BEST METAL ARTIST

Visigoth The Ditch and the Delta Die Off Baby Gurl Hard Men

Crook & the Bluff Tavaputs Isaac Russell Mad Max & the Wild Ones

Colt .46 Gina Jones J.J. Jennings

BEST FOLK ARTIST

Canyons Wing & Claw Folk Hogan St. Boheme

BEST HIP-HOP/ RAP ARTIST

Apt Burnell Washburn Scenic Byway Rhyme Time (formerly Atheist) Grits Green

BEST POP ARTIST

The Strike RKDN Diatom The Blue Aces

BAND/ACT OF THE YEAR

Visigoth The Ditch & the Delta Candy’s River House The National Parks

BEST LIVE ACT

The Nods Baby Gurl Thunderfist Foster Body Visigoth

BEST JAZZ ARTIST

The Joe McQueen Quartet Corey Christiansen Organ Trio Tad Calcara & New Deal Swing Orchestra Alan Michael Band

BEST ALBUM COVER/ BEST ELECTRONIC ARTIST POSTER ARTIST

DJ Robot Dream Muscle Hawk Nate Lowpass Siak

BEST REGGAE ARTIST

Afro Omega Natural Roots The Tribe of I Hemptations

Sri Whipple Korey Daniel Martin Martin Bradshaw Chris Bodily

BEST VENUE

Diabolical Records The Urban Lounge Metro Kilby Court The State Room

BEST LOCAL PRODUCER

Andy Patterson Mike Sasich Terrance DH Mike Fuchs Nate Pyfer

ALBUM OF THE YEAR

Candy’s River House: Another Night BassMint Pros: The BMP Pirate Radio Takeover Show The Lovestrange: I Liked It, No I Didn’t New Shack: Shadow Girl L’anarchiste: Giant

WHICH LOCAL BAND SHOULD GET BACK TOGETHER?

Vile Blue Shades Form of Rocket The New Transit Direction Band of Annuals

READER’S OPEN PICK/ WHAT DID WE FORGET? THE FINE PRINT RULE NO. 1:

You must vote in at least 2 categories for your ballot to be counted.

RULE NO. 2:

BEST FRIEND OF LOCAL MUSIC

Clark Stewart Radford Circus Brown Discoid Sam S&S Presents (Will Sartain and Lance Saunders)

Jarom Bischoff Cory O’Brien Chris Holifield

One ballot per person.

If you enter more than once, all the ballots you submitted will be eliminated!

RULE NO. 3:

Online voting only. No paper ballots.

Vote for your favorites now and help support our local music community.

Nominees in selected categories were chosen by City Weekly music staff and a judging committee of community members involved in local music. To be on the ballot, the nominees must have been based in Utah in 2015. Performers must have performed in at least five shows locally during 2015. In the "Best Album" category, the music must have come out during 2015.

| MUSIC | CINEMA | DINING | A&E | NEWS |

BEST ROOTS/ AMERICANA ARTIST

BEST COUNTRY ARTIST

BEST DJ–OPEN FORMAT

DJ Chu Choice Sneeky Long

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

BEST PUNK ARTIST

Handicapitalist Discoid A Big Baby Donner Partyhouse Scary Uncle Steve

BEST BLUES ARTIST

Candy’s River House George T. Gregory Band Tony Holiday and the Velvetones Blues on First Harry Lee & the Back Alley Blues Band

Ballot opens NOW through Monday, Feb. 15.

Results will be published in the March 3 issue.

VOTE AT: CITYWEEKLY.NET/BESTOFMUSIC

PRESENTED BY

FEBRUARY 11, 2016 | 45

#BESTOFMUSIC

DEADLINE: MONDAY, FEB. 15, MIDNIGHT.

| CITY WEEKLY |

Write-in nominees may be submitted only in the “What Did We Forget” category.

Write-in nominees must be local in order to be considered.

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

| NEWS | A&E | DINING | CINEMA | MUSIC |

| CITY WEEKLY |

46 | FEBRUARY 11, 2016

TUESDAY 2.16

CONCERTS & CLUBS

Jukebox the Ghost, The Family Crest

Formed in 2006, while the trio were still students at George Washington University, Jukebox the Ghost still manages to keep their sound new and fresh a decade later. With each album, the members—who trade vocals on every bright, smooth song—inject new feeling and happy vibes, and their fourth, Jukebox the Ghost (Cherrytree), is no exception. San Francisco group The Family Crest has seven core members, but “The Family” link on TheFamilyCrestFamily.com lists well over 100 other musicians that have contributed to the band’s shows and albums, including their latest, Beneath the Brine (Tender Loving Empire).

One small band, one big band, one great night.

(Doug Brian) The Complex, 536 W. 100 South, 7 p.m., $16, TheComplexSLC.com

Enjoy Live Music &

BEER AT THE BEST

bar in town SPIRITS • FOOD • GOOD COMPANY 2.11 MORGAN SNOW

2.18 LORIN COOK BAND

2.12 STONEFED

2.19 YOU TOPPLE OVER

2.13 STONEFED

2.20 PIXIE & THE PARTY

2.17 KRIS LAGER

GRASS BOYS

3200 E BIG COTTONWOOD RD. | 801.733.5567 THEHOGWALLOW.COM

Join us at Rye Diner and Drinks for dinner and craft cocktails before, during and after the show. Late night bites 6pm-midnight Monday through Saturday and brunch everyday of the week. Rye is for early birds and late owls and caters to all ages www.ryeslc.com

FEB 11:

8PM DOORS FREE SHOW

SCENIC BYWAY

FEB 17:

MARK DAGO THE HOUND MYSTIC BEACHMEN

9PM DOORS FREE SHOW

FEB 12: SOULECTION PRESENTS

9PM DOORS

ANDRE POWER DJ JUGGY CONCISE KILGORE

FEB 13: METALACHI FOLK HOGAN THE HIPS

8PM DOORS VALENTINE’S PARTY

FEB 16: EARPHUNK AN EVENING WITH...

CANDYS RIVER HOUSE

JOSHUA STROUTHER TONY HOLIDAY PLEASE BE HUMAN

FEB 18: SLUG LOCALIZED:

8PM DOORS FREE SHOW

NEW SHACK ANGEL MAGIC RARE FACTURE

FEB 19: EAGLE TWIN OXCROSS ACCIDENTE

8PM DOORS $5

8PM DOORS

COMING SOON Feb 19: Eagle Twin Feb 20: Demarkus Lewis Feb 25: Hot Vodka Feb 27: 80s Dance Party Feb 28: That 1 Guy Feb 29: Ringo Deathstarr Mar 2: Wolf Eyes Mar 4: Dubwise featuring Djuna Mar 5: LNE Presents Prince Fox & Stelouse Mar 9: FREE SHOW Westward Mar 10: STWO Mar 11: El Ten Eleven Mar 12: Ty Segall & The Muggers Mar 15: Dance Off Mar 16: Charles Ellsworth Mar 18: Thriftworks Mar 19: Rob Crow’s Gloomy Place

Mar 21: Murder By Death Mar 22: Young Fathers Mar 23: Geographer & Crookes Mar 24: La Luz Mar 25: San Fermin Mar 28: Chairlift Mar 29: Cullen Omori Mar 30: Shannon And The Clams Apr 2: DIRT FIRST Apr 3: Ra Ra Riot Apr 8: Pete Yorn Apr 10: DMA’s

Apr 12: Matthew Logan Vasquez of Delta Spirit Apr 13: Autolux Apr 15: The Cave Singers Apr 17: Cloud Cult Apr 23: PaceWon Apr 28: The Widdler Apr 29: Napalm Death & Melvins May 8: The Thermals May 13: Tortoise May 19: Sticky Fingers Nov 7: Peter Hook & The Light

WEDNESDAY/SUNDAY

BLACK Bar SHEEP & Grill

Live band: reaction

West Jordan’s Newest Watering Hole

SATURDAY

Saturday, February 13th

JOHNSON VS. BADER Saturday, Jan. 30th

Taco & Tequila Tuesdays $1.50 TACOS & $3.00 CUERVO

Wednesdays 7pm-10pm $5 cover

sundays 12pm-3pm no cover

JAZZ AT THE 90

LIVE JAZZ BRUNCH

feb 10: michael tobian quartet

feb 14: joy spring quartet

enjoy food & drinks

WED: TEXAS HOLD ‘EM - FREE 8PM

the crafty crew craft classes Wednesdays 7pm feb 10th: wash & bath tiles

to register go to thecraftycrew.org

COMING SOON

16 BEERS ON TAP

Come in for a Beer Stay for our Food!

FRIDAY & SATURDAY February 12th &February 13th

FULL LIQUOR MENU

sunday, feb 21st doors open at 10am $20 at door includes: breakfast buffet & hot dog bar $1000 in prizes

$40 per couple special dinner menu reserved linen table Live band: Reaction call to reserve your spot today!

THURSDAY

all-you-can-eat Lunch buffet $8.95 12pm - 3pm

TUESDAY/ THURSDAY karaoke with kj hotrod heather

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taco tuesday 2 for $2

(with beverage purchase)

free karaoke

qualify for the 2016 national talent quest every tuesday night- a regional venue!

PRIVATE SPACE FOR HOLIDAY PARTIES & MEETINGS. CALL OR STOP BY FOR A TOUR! 150 W. 9065 S. • CLUB90SLC.COM • 801.566.3254 • OPEN EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK

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1520 W. 9000 S. WEST JORDAN 801.566.2561 | THEBLACKSHEEPBARANDGRILL.COM

3rd annual daytona party

Valentine’s Club 90 Style

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| CITY WEEKLY |

FEBRUARY 11, 2016 | 47

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

Add

Aspire Pax Volcano and more

Monday @ 8pm

breaking bingo

48 | FEBRUARY 11, 2016

Will Byington

• Kangertech • • Firefly • • is Th n tio en M • For

CONCERTS & CLUBS

OF F 10% $ 99

WEDNESDAY 2.17

39.

Or More non-tobacco items

Stephen Kellogg wednesdays @ 8pm

geeks who drink

live music sunday afternoons & evenings 2

854 South State Street 801-532-9002

Shy of turning 40, singer-songwriter Stephen Kellogg had recorded and toured with his band Stephen Kellogg and the Sixers for over a decade, before going on hiatus in 2012 to focus on his solo work. His music is reminiscent of Ryan Adams, maybe slightly more personal and less panoramic. Several years ago, he even delivered a TEDx talk about his career and musical passion, which is infectious. Like many boys growing up in the ’80s, he had wanted to be Bon Jovi. Clearly, he wound up somewhere very different—and, one might say, better. Liz Longley opens. (Brian Staker) The State Room, 638 S. State, 8 p.m., $20, TheStateRoomSLC.com

THURSDAY 2.11 LIVE MUSIC

2021 s. windsor st. (west of 900 east)

801.484.6692 I slctaproom.com

4th East Flood (Muse Music Cafe) Alan Michael (Garage on Beck) The Association (Egyptian Theatre) Child Ivory + Okkah +Strange Familia + Alyssa Piper (Velour) Bad Boy Bill + Donald Glaude (SKY) DAYA (The Complex) DJ Courtney (Area 51) Dr. Dog + The Bright Light Social Hour (The Depot) see p. 42 Hot Noise (The Red Door) Jack & Jack (The Complex) Radius + Psychosis + Kasen Shawn (Kilby Court) Reggae Thursday! (The Royal) Recess Club ft. Just Kiddin’ + Jeremy Olander (The Hotel/ClubElevate) Scenic Byway + Mark Dago + The Hound Mystic, Beachmen (The Urban Lounge)

FRIDAY 2.12 LIVE MUSIC

Andre Power + Concise Kilgore + DJ Juggy (The Urban Lounge) A RELAXED GENTLEMAN’S CLUB

| CITY WEEKLY |

| NEWS | A&E | DINING | CINEMA | MUSIC |

We carry e-cigarette supplies including juices, atomizers, and mods

DA I LY L U N C H S P E C I A L S POOL, FOOSBALL & GAMES

NO

COVER E VER!

The Association (Egyptian Theatre) Bubba Sparxxx (Firehouse Bar & Grill) Caleb Chapman’s Crescent Band Dinner Dance (Ogden Eccles Conference Center) Candy’s Riverhouse (Garage on Beck) The Departure + Westward + Blue Jay Boogie (Kilby Court) DJ Jarvicious (Sandy Station) DJ Reverend 23 + Stryker (Area 51) DJ Scotty Boy (Downstairs) Gorgeous Gourds + The Highway Thieves (The Royal) The Highway Thieves (The Royal) Ivy Queen (Club Karamba) Jeremih (The Depot) John Allred + Chris Merritt + Cary Judd (Velour) The Last Gatsby (The Loading Dock) Michelle Moonshine (The Royal) Naughty by Nature (Park City Live) The Night Spin Collective (Area 51) Synrgy (Brewskis)

PINKY’S CABARET CHECK OUT OUR NEW

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IN THE STATE

Monday Nights Football Special

275 0 SOU T H 3 0 0 W ES T · (8 01) 4 67- 4 6 0 0 11: 3 0 -1A M M O N - S AT · 11: 3 0 A M -10 P M S U N

$6.50 steak w/ baked potato $3.50 draft beer 4141 So. State Street 801.261.3463

CONCERTS & CLUBS

CITY WEEKLY’S HOT LIST FOR THE WEEK

COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE @ CITYWEEKLY.NET Try Try Try (Muse Music Cafe)

SATURDAY 2.13 LIVE MUSIC

LIVE MUSIC

The Association (Egyptian Theatre) Bubba Sparxxx (Liquid Joe’s) Eminence Front (Metro Bar) Gallows Bound (Club X) The Infamous Stringdusters (Park City Live)

801-590-9940 | facebook.com/theroyalslc

www.theroyalslc.com

MONDAY 2.15

❱ Bar | Nightclub | Music | Sports ❰

LIVE MUSIC

wednesday 2/10

Cradle of Filth + Butcher Babies + Ne Obliviscaris (The Complex) see p. 42 Scru Face Jean + Steve Jedi + Brayzee + Young Yankee (Kilby Court)

TUESDAY 2.16 LIVE MUSIC

CHECK OUT OUR GREAT menu

ultimate KARAOKE & bingo

saturday 2/13

RETURN OF THE $2 LP SALE | Feb. 26th- 27th Most LP's Valued at $2- $7 Some $8-$10 Over 2000 LP's put out both Fri & Sat

DJ LATU

Live Music

the highway thieves hectic hobo gorgeous gourds michelle moonshine

Weeknights monday

OUR FAMOUS OPEN BLUES JAM WITH WEST TEMPLE TAILDRAGGERS

Valentine's Party

tuesday

LOCAL NIGHTS OUT

wednesday

THE TRIVIA FACTORY 7PM

Every sunday ADULT TRIVIA 7PM

with special guests

wayland another lost year river city heights Monday 2/15 hosted by robby reynolds & friends

Tuesday 2/16

Great food 5 lunch special MONDAY - FRIDAY

$

the royal blues jam

$

10 brunch buffet

open mic night

SATURDAYS FROM 11AM-2PM

YOU Never KNow WHO WILL SHOW UP TO PERFORM

coming soon

$

12 sunday funday brunch $3 BLOODY MARYS & $3 MIMOSAS FROM 10AM-2PM

2/19

TUE – FRI 11AM TO 7PM • SAT 10AM TO 6PM • CLOSED SUN & MON LIKE US ON OR VISIT WWW.RANDYSRECORDS.COM • 801.532.4413

saturday, february 13

with special guests

violent new breed | hooga | late night savior ALL SHOW TICKETS AVAILABLE AT SMITHSTIX OR AT THE ROYAL

31 east 400 SOuth • SLC

801-532-7441 • HOURS: 11AM - 2AM

THEGREENPIGPUB.COM

FEBRUARY 11, 2016 | 49

“UTAH’S LONGEST RUNNING INDIE RECORD STORE” SINCE 1978

1/2 off nachos & Free pool

| CITY WEEKLY |

CD’s, 45’s, Cassettes, Turntables & Speakers

WILL BAXTER BAND

VINYL RECORDS NEW & USED

friday, february 12

synergy tribe of i

WEDNESDAY 2.17

RANDY'S RECORD SHOP

HELL CAMINOS

reggae at the royal every thursday

Friday 2/12

Ann Marie Hatch Memorial feat. Willie Waldman Project (Garage on Beck) Candy’s River House (The Urban Lounge) Conn and Rob Live Jazz (Maxwell’s) Diane Coffee + Creature Double Feature + Giants in the Oak Tree (Kilby Court) DJ Matty Mo (Willie’s Lounge) Kaleido (Club X) Knuckle Puck + State Champs + Neck Deep + Like Pacific (The Complex) see p. 40 MarchFourth! + Diego’s Umbrella (O.P. Rockwell) Metric + Joywave (The Depot) see p. 44 Stephen Kellogg (The State Room) see p. 48 Within Reach (The Loading Dock)

thursday, february 11

Live Music

Thursday 2/11

Chasing Morgan (The Loading Dock) Diego’s Umbrella (The State Room) Earphunk (The Urban Lounge) G. Love & Special Sauce (Park City Live) Hoodie Allen + Superduperkyle + Blackbear (The Complex) see p. 44 Interift + Cityskape + Have Johansen (Kilby Court) Jukebox the Ghost + The Family Crest (The Complex) see p. 46 MarchFourth! (The State Room) Metalachi (The Urban Lounge)

LIVE MUSIC

LIVE Music

thousands of songs to choose from

| MUSIC | CINEMA | DINING | A&E | NEWS |

SUNDAY 2.14

4760 S 900 E, SLC

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

The Association (Egyptian Theatre) Badfeather (The Cabin) Caleb Chapman’s Crescent Band Dinner Dance (Peerys Egyptian Theater) Ché Zuro (Deer Valley) Chris Cutz + DJ Juggy (Downstairs) City Jazz Big Band: Valentine’s Concert (Viridian Center) Color Animal/Magic Mint + Strong Words (Diabolical Records) see p. 38 Dezecration (The Dawg Pound) Dirty River Boys (Garage on Beck) DJ Jarvicious (Club at 50 West) FreeHearts Balls (Area 51) HeRobust (In the Venue) Jon Wayne and the Pain (The Canyons) Joy Spring Band (Sugar House Coffee) Kip Moore (The Depot) Love & Rockets Night (Area 51) Mandolin Orange + The Dead Tongues (Kilby Court) Metalachi + Folk Hogan + The Hips (The Urban Lounge) see p. 42 Michelle Moonshine (The Owl Bar) Naughty by Nature (Park City Live) Rob Landes (Alleged) Royal Bliss (The Royal) San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus (Eccles Center, Park City) The Strike + Mimi Knowles + Ryan Innes (Velour) Theories (The Loading Dock) Valen-Grime (In the Venue) Wayland (The Royal) YEYEY album release feat. Jay William Henderson (Muse Music Cafe)

Irish Session Folks (Sugar House Coffee) The Joy Spring Quartet (Club 90) Mandolin Orange (Park City Live) Mike Rogers (Deer Valley) Nahko and Medicine for the People (The Depot) see p. 42 Parental Advisory (The Hotel/Club Elevate)

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

| CITY WEEKLY • ADULT |

50 | FEBRUARY 11, 2016

ADULT

Call to place your ad 801-575-7028

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CROSSWORD PUZZLE

© 2016

BY DAVID LEVINSON WILK

ACROSS

| CITY WEEKLY |

FEBRUARY 11, 2016 | 51

No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9.

Last week’s answers

SUDOKU

1. Word from a crib 2. Commotions that arise from turning a soda backwards?

3. Cy Young Award winner Greinke 4. CPR pro 5. Legal scholar 6. "Good show, old ____!"

44. Subject of the 1987 biography "Cory: Profile of a President" 47. Words following "work like" or "sick as" 48. Towed-away auto, maybe 49. Lyft competitor 50. Hit the mall, say 51. "____ goes!"

52. Polly, to Tom Sawyer 53. Actress Dunham 54. [Hey, you!]

56. Ballpark fig.

57. "____ will be done" 58. Certain sib

| MUSIC | CINEMA | DINING | A&E | NEWS |

DOWN

7. Monotonous routines 8. Prior to, in poems 9. Crumple (up) 10. His last film, "Plan 9 from Outer Space," was released in 1959, three years after his death 11. Goofs 12. Citrus drinks 13. Louisiana's Long 18. Financial guru Suze 19. Gives off 23. Flight figures, for short 24. "As if!"

25. Toot 26. Mixed martial artist Rousey who was the first U.S. woman to win an Olympic medal in judo 27. 15-time NBA All-Star who announced his retirement on Twitter 28. Show clearly 29. ____ wave 30. 100 kopecks 31. Put in prison 32. Lip 33. The "C" of FDIC: Abbr.

37. Participant in an 1899 conflict 38. Popular online crafts site 40. Brown ermine 41. Gets the pot started 43. Only U.S. state capital whose last two letters are its state's postal abbreviation

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

1. Bewildered state 5. Lands' End competitor 10. Remini of "The King of Queens" 14. U2 bassist Clayton or longtime U.S. congressman Clayton Powell 15. Sci-fi character whose first name, Nyota, meaning "Star" in Swahili, was revealed in a 2009 film 16. Its alphabet reads from right to left 17. "The medical practitioner just ingested a brand of antiperspirant!"

20. Pose, as a question 21. Features of some jeans 22. Like some forest ground 23. Mommy's triplets?

24. Kimono securers 26. "The decayed material just ingested four parts of a car!"

33. First name in late-night 34. Carpentry tools 35. Thurman whose mother, Nena, was briefly married to LSD guru Timothy Leary 36. Small bills 37. Raise the price of, at an auction 38. Goes down 39. Dietary std.

40. Aid in finding sunken ships 41. Rand McNally publication 42. "The good friend just ingested Ajax!"

45. Tales of old 46. Small amount?

47. ____, Bonaire and Curacao (Caribbean's ABC islands) 50. Elisabeth of "Cocktail" 52. Eurozone peak 55. "The cotillion honoree just ingested Time, People and GQ!" 59. Candid 60. Unlocked?

61. Restful places 62. Like some details 63. Most common blood designation 64. “Chop-chop!”

| COMMUNITY | | CITYWEEKLY.NET |

52 | FEBRUARY 11, 2016

Poets Corner

ARIZONA HIGHWAYS The lights of Yuma puddle on the desert; a reflecting pool filled with stars.

NLC COLOR STUDIO

T BEA INSIDE /

Beneath the asphalt old stones recall their days in the sun and patiently wait for another turn.

Text NLCCOLOR to 22828 385-549-6886 Haircuts, Styling & Color

Published entrants receive a $15 value gift from CW. Each entry must include name and mailing address.

#cwpoetscorner

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COMMUNITY BEAT PG. 52 | POETS CORNER PG. 52 FREE WILL ASTROLOGY PG. 53 | UTAH JOB CENTER PG. 54 | URBAN LIVING PG. 55

In the far hills little brooks babble, but make perfect sense.

Jerry Johnston Send your poem (max 15 lines), to: Poet’s Corner, City Weekly, 248 South Main Street, SLC, UT 84101 or e-mail to poetscorner@cityweekly.net.

send leads to

Walk-ins Welcome!

! g n i r i h

IONS! T I S O P E SALES ated and creative OUTSID . otiv

for m referred looking rience p e p x e We are s igital person rket or d a m l a c lus. ge of lo ities a p n tu r o Knowled p : op sume to Email re T NE

IT PETE@C

Y. YWEEKL

The Hats We Wear T

here’s nothing like a fun new accessory to freshen up an entire wardrobe. Women interested in adding a hat to their repertoire should check out the local company Gigi Pip, which launched in the fall of 2015 and offers a wide array of hats to fit anyone’s style—from wide-brim fedoras to cozy beanies.

Ginger Parrish, the brand manager for Gigi Pip, has always loved hats. “My husband used to tease me and call me ‘that crazy hat lady.’ If only he knew what we were getting into,” Parrish says.

But Gigi Pip is more than just a hat store—it’s an initiative to highlight the many roles that women play in their lives. “We truly believe that a quality hat can add a sense of confidence in women that we hope, even in a small way, will help them embrace the roles they lead,” she says.

As Gigi Pip was getting ready to launch, its founders began to hit a creative wall.

“Everything seemed to be in a bit of a slump,” Parrish says. “The website design didn’t seem to flow, content and product names weren’t quite fitting, and I can’t even tell you how much debate went into the logo.”

That’s when a friend used the phrase “for the women who wear many hats” while they were discussing marketing. Suddenly, everything clicked into place for Parrish, and the rest of the team. “It seemed to sum up everything we were hoping to express with our hats,” she says. Gigi Pip implemented the theme into the business and overnight the company became unified under a vision. Now, the team loves to hear and share stories of inspiring women using the hashtag #TheHatsWeWear and posting them on its website and social media.

Follow Gigi Pip on Instagram to see when they are running promotions and specials.

“The incredible part of the Gigi Pip story, in my opinion, is how much the company grew as soon as a purpose was tied to it,” Parrish says.

Her passion for Gigi Pip shows in how she treats her customers. “I truly enjoy writing a simple thank you on packages as they go out,” she says. “I wish I could write a note on every package because it warms my heart that people support our business.”

Not sure what kind of hat fits your style best? Gigi Pip’s website has a quiz you can take to narrow down your choices from the classic collection, edge collection and more. The site also offers tips on how to care for the hats. And don’t even try telling Parrish that you don’t look good in hats— after all, you’re probably wearing several already. n

GIGI PIP

GigiPip.com

Check out Gigi Pip’s website for featured stories from #TheHatsWeWear campaign.

Gigi Pip offers free shipping on orders over $85.

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY B Y R O B

B R E Z S N Y

Go to RealAstrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes.

Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.

ARIES (March 21-April 19) “Love is a fire,” declared Aries actress Joan Crawford. “But whether it’s going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.” I disagree with her conclusion. There are practical steps you can take to ensure that love’s fire warms but doesn’t burn. Start with these strategies: Suffuse your libido with compassion. Imbue your romantic fervor with empathy. Instill your animal passions and instinctual longings with affectionate tenderness. If you catch your sexual urges driving you toward narcissists who are no good for you, firmly redirect those urges toward emotionally intelligent, self-responsible beauties.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) “Only love interests me,” declared painter Marc Chagall, “and I am only in contact with things that revolve around love.” That seems like an impossibly high standard. Our daily adventures bring us into proximity with loveless messes all the time. It’s hard to focus on love to the exclusion of all other concerns. But it’s a worthy goal to strive toward Chagall’s ideal for short bursts of time.

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SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) “A coward is incapable of exhibiting love,” said Mahatma Gandhi. “It is the prerogative of the brave.” That’s my challenge TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Fifteenth-century writer Thomas à Kempis thought that real to you, Scorpio. In accordance with the astrological currents, love can arouse enormous fortitude in the person who loves. I urge you to stoke your uninhibited audacity so you can press “Love feels no burden,” he wrote. “It attempts what is above onward toward the frontiers of intimacy. It’s not enough to be its strength, pleads no excuse of impossibility; for it thinks all wilder, and it’s not enough to be freer. To fulfill love’s potential things lawful for itself, and all things possible.” As you might in the next chapter of your story, you’ve got to be wilder, freer imagine, the “real love” he was referring to is not the kind and bolder. that’s motivated by egotism, power drives, blind lust or insecurity. I think you know what I mean, Taurus, because in the past SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) few months you have had unprecedented access to the primal “It is not lack of love but lack of friendship that makes unhappy glory that Thomas referred to. And in the coming months you marriages,” said Friedrich Nietzsche. He believed that if you will have even more. What do you plan to do with all that mojo? want to join your fortunes with another’s, you should ask yourself whether you will enjoy your conversations with this person for the next 30 years—because that’s what you’ll be doing much of the GEMINI (May 21-June 20) Gemini novelist Elizabeth Bowen (1899-1973) was fascinated in time you’re together. How do you measure up to this gold stan“life with the lid on and what happens when the lid comes off.” dard, Sagittarius? What role does friendship play in your romantic She knew both states from her own experience. “When you love adventures? If there’s anything lacking, now is an excellent time someone,” she mused about the times the lid had come off, “all to seek improvements. Start with yourself, of course. How could your saved-up wishes start coming out.” In accordance with the you infuse more camaraderie into the way you express love? What astrological omens, I propose that you engage in the following three- might you do to upgrade your skills as a conversationalist? part exercise. First, identify a part of your life that has the lid tightly clamped over it. Second, visualize the suppressed feelings and saved- CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) up wishes that might pour forth if you took the lid off. Third, do what “Love isn’t something you find,” says singer Loretta Lynn. “Love is something that finds you.” Singer Kylie Minogue concurs: “You it takes to love someone so well that you’ll knock the lid off. need a lot of luck to find people with whom you want to spend your life. Love is like a lottery.” I think these perspectives are at CANCER (June 21-July 22) “No one has ever loved anyone the way everyone wants to be best misleading, and at worst debilitating. They imply we have no loved,” wrote author Mignon McLaughlin. I think that may be power to shape our relationship with love. My view is different. I true. The gap between what we yearn for and what we actually say there’s a lot we can do to attract intimate allies who teach us, get is never fully closed. Nevertheless, I suggest that you strive stimulate us and fulfill us. Like what? 1. We clarify what qualities to refute McLaughlin’s curse in the coming days. Why? Because we want in a partner, and we make sure that those qualities are you now have an enhanced capacity to love the people you care also healthy for us. 2. We get free of unconscious conditioning about in ways they want to be loved. So be experimental with that’s at odds with our conscious values. 3. We work to transyour tenderness. Take the risk of going beyond what you’ve been form ourselves into lovable collaborators who communicate well. willing or able to give before. Trust your fertile imagination to Anything else? What can you do to make sure love isn’t a lottery? guide your ingenious empathy.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) “We all have the potential to fall in love a thousand times in LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) Here’s the counsel of French writer Anatole France: “You learn our lifetime,” writes Chuck Klosterman. “It’s easy. But there to speak by speaking, to study by studying, to run by running, to are certain people you love who do something else; they define work by working; in just the same way, you learn to love by lov- how you classify what love is supposed to feel like. You’ll meet ing.” What he says is always true, but it’s especially apropos for maybe four or five of these people over the span of 80 years.” you Leos in the coming weeks. You now have a special talent for He concludes, “A lover like this sets the template for what you learning more about love by loving deeply, excitedly and imagi- will always love about other people.” I suspect that you have natively. To add further nuance and inspiration, meditate on this either recently met or will soon meet such a person, Aquarius. advice from author Aldous Huxley: “There isn’t any formula or Or else you are on the verge of going deeper than ever before method. You learn to love by loving—by paying attention and with an ally you have known for a while. That’s why I think what happens in the next six months will put an enduring stamp on doing what one thereby discovers has to be done.” your relationship with intimacy.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) “I do not trust people who don’t love themselves and yet tell me, PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) ‘I love you,’” said author Maya Angelou. She concludes: “There Sixteenth-century Italian poet Torquato Tasso described one is an African saying: Be careful when a naked person offers you of love’s best blessings. He said your lover can reunite you with a shirt.” With this in mind, I invite you to take inventory of the “a piece of your soul that you never knew was missing.” You allies and relatives whose relationships are most important to Pisceans are in a phase when this act of grace is more possible you. How well do they love themselves? Is there anything you than usual. The revelatory boon may emerge because of the could do to help them upgrade their love for themselves? If their chemistry stirred up by a sparkly new affiliation. Or it may arise self-love is lacking, what might you do to protect yourself from thanks to a familiar relationship that is entering unfamiliar territory. that problem?

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he current vacancy rate for apartments in Salt Lake City is at a low 3 percent, according to the Utah Apartment Association, meaning that 97 percent of all rental housing is leased out. And it’s probably even worse if you have a dog or cat.

For those of you that are looking to rent, but haven’t had much luck lately, here’s a rundown of apartment buildings in Salt Lake City currently under construction or in the planning phases: n 165 units on 200 East between 100 and 200 South, by Cowboy Partners developers. n 277 units on 100 South between 500 and 600 West (called Alta Gateway), by Hunter Group developers. n High-end apartments on the former Carriage for Hire site at 400 West between 200 and 300 South—adjacent to the light rail station. n 165 units on 400 West between 400 and 300 South, by Garbett Homes. n About 200 units planned on the former Sizzler property at 400 East and 400 South. n 110 units on 600 West just south of the North Temple Viaduct, by Kier Construction. n 158 units at 260 S. 500 East. n Salt Lake County announced the sale of its property at 600 S. State to Wasatch Development, which plans for a mixed development of homes and offices/retail.

That adds up to 1,800 units under construction in or near the downtown core, which adds to the 2,000 or so which have been completed in the past three years. If you head a little farther south from downtown, there are more plans: n The Ritz Classic bowling lanes formerly at 2265 S. State are now forever closed. The 4.11-acre piece of land is scheduled to have 289 units built there in the next year or two. n The Habits bar/property has been sold to the same buyer who built Lotus Residential on South Temple. He purchased the bar at 832 E. 3900 South and another piece of property at 3723 S. 900 East, and is planning about 6070 townhomes similar to ones he built on the corner of 1700 South and 900 East.

The Salt Lake Tribune called me recently to ask if I knew of any new condo projects going up in Salt Lake City. Well, there aren’t really any to talk about, except the Paragon Station on 300 West and 200 South that is in the construction stage right now. Lenders have been very tight on their monies for condo developers but much looser on funds for apartment projects. If you were thinking of buying, lack of inventory is almost as bad as it is with rentals. The average price of a home in Salt Lake County in 2015 was $248,000; Utah County $222,000; Davis County $229,000 and Weber County $170,000. n Content is prepared expressly for Community and is not by City Weekly staff

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