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Brightline Rail Service
Publisher/Executive Editor: David Vandygriff dvandygriff@cityxtramagazine.com
By Joshua Rutherford
Why Short Men Are Sexier Than Tall Guys By David Artavia
Editor In Chief: Harvey Carr editor@cityxtramagazine.com
America’s Greatest Enemy
Creative Designer: Jason Smith designer@cityxtramagazine.com
By David Vandygriff
Sales Department: Adam Plante, Esq. aplante@cityxtramagazine.com
He’s Never Done That Before By Jack Bobeck
cityXtra Magazine is published by cityXtra Inc . 2941 Plum Street Jacksonville, FL 32205 (904) 300-3320 www.cityxtramagazine.com Like us on Facebook/cityxtramag Twitter/cityxtra
All Lives Matter Is Racist By Dave Bry
Debate on Gun Violence By Michael Jensen
Contributing Writers
Happiness You Can Control By Dr. Harvey Carr
How To Get Back In The Dating Game By Michael Joshlin
Laura Riggs, Dr. Harvey Carr, Attorney Gordon Nicol, Meredith O’Malley Johnson, Tina Vaughn, Jake Moore, Tyler Curry Editor HIV Equal Online, Sebastian Fortino, David Vandygriff, Joey Amato Publisher Unite Magazine
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Brightline Rail Service May Extend to Jacksonville The company that is preparing to launch passenger rail service next year between Miami and Orlando via Fort Lauderdale and West Palm Beach eventually may extend the service to Jacksonville. All Aboard Florida (AAF), which expects to launch its Brightline passenger rail service by mid-2017, has formed an affiliated company called AAF Jacksonville Segment LLC. AAF formed the affiliated company to secure rights to run a passenger rail service on the Florida East Coast Railway line between Jacksonville and Cocoa, located east of Orlando in the Cape Canaveral area. AAF will be looking for ways to expand the Brightline rail service as soon as it begins, according to Mike Reininger, the company’s president and chief development officer. The JAXIS site is across the street from the FEC railroad. If the rail system does expand into Jacksonville, it will most likely become an
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additional transit mode at an impressive downtown intermodal center already in the works. With $40 million already in hand, the Jacksonville Transportation Authority plans to start construction on the Jacksonville Intermodal Station (JAXIS) in January 2017. When complete in 2019, JAXIS will include new administrative offices for the JTA and terminals for local buses, the Flyer BRT system, the JTA Skyway and Greyhound. Located across the street from old Jacksonville Terminal and FEC tracks, a future phase includes the return of intercity and commuter rail lines. In the meantime, the JTA and Downtown Investment Authority are teaming up to develop a master development plan for the surrounding LaVilla neighborhood.
Why Short Men Are Sexier Than Tall Guys By David Artavia
Tall guys might be the first ones to get noticed, but short ones will always be remembered. I’ve been called numerous names in my life. I was the tallest guy in my junior high class, but the summer before my freshman year of high school was a most unproductive time for my body and social life. I returned to see that 95% of my classmates rose above me, literally. The years of towering over my peers disappeared forever, and though I was expecting it to return in the following months, it never did.
I’m not in any way being prejudice towards tall people. It’s just come to my attention that when asking gay guys what attractive qualities they look for in men, most of them point to the height factor. So many people associate being tall with being strong, powerful, dominant, aggressive, healthy and energetic, which is anything but true. I for one I’ve been called “shorty,” “dwarf,” “baby,” all of have come across countless of giants who are as which I tried to brush off my shoulders, but when you’re trying to attract the hottie in the corner, the sluggish as any snail I’ve seen outside my patio. What’s the first thing you think of when you last thing you want to hear is someone make fun imagine celebrities like Zac Efron, Darren Criss of your height. It also didn’t help that my name and Mark Wahlberg? They’re sexy, strong, funny, was David – the David & Goliath jokes never ended. Standing at 5’7, I know I’m not the shortest and you know they’re bringing their A-game to the guy in the world. But since the average height for bedroom. Well guess what, they’re all 5’8! Dave a man in America is 5’9 ½, I sadly remain a dwarf Franco, James McAvoy, and my husband Josh inside the gay community, whose interpretation of Hutcherson are all 5’7. Usher is 5’7 ½ and Bruno beauty requires a stature of at least 5’10. But I’ve Mars is 5’5. Still think being tall is the end all be all of sexy? learned recently that being short is the sexiest quality a man can have. Not only are short guys more loveable, but we A short person is always going to surprise you in a also look younger for much longer than other dudes who hit the ceiling fan by the time they’re good way. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve fifteen. We can shop in both the petite and regular dated tall guys I expect to be packing heat in the section, and not to mention we’re always going to kitchen (if you know what I mean) but always have extra space in the bed for you to fit in. It disappoint me. Even outside the bedroom, tall seems to me the whole idea that being tall is a men tend to opt out of efforts to be part of the non-negotiable when seeking out men should be group – they don’t have to be because it’s impossible for them to be ignored due to the sheer readjusted strongly. physicality of their height. This is why, in my opinion, a room with just two short people tends to be more entertaining than one full of tall people. Sure they might be sexy to look at or alluring to imagine wrapping their giant arms around you, but at the end of the day, all they do is take up well-needed legroom. When it comes to first impressions, why are us short folk always the last to be given a chance? www.cityxtramagazine.com 8
It’s time for short guys in the gay community to unite! We may be small, but damn it, we’re always going to be the life of the party. Sure the tall guys might be the first ones to be noticed, but we’re the ones who are going to be remembered. There’s power in being short. It doesn’t matter how far you are from the ground, when you stand tall, think tall, and live your life large, you will overpower the tallest of the pack. LIVE LARGE!
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America’s Greatest Enemy: The Unevolving Virus of Prejudice A quote often cited by Attorney John M. Phillips, “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view…..until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.” Atticus Finch was the one to first speak the quote and it resonated with John. So much so that during John’s TEDx talk he used the quote as he described himself growing up in Alabama. defined many different ways and is different to every family, every victim. Our goal isn’t just “We’ve all heard the saying about walking a mile financial recovery; it is justice by every measure in someone’s shoes,” Phillips said. “To walk in we can find. Even in the simple car accident case, someone’s skin is a very different issue, people can be treated better.” especially when it is a different color than yours.” It was until a case came along that propelled John into the national spot light that he became increasingly more aware of his own skin. The victim was Jordan Davis, a young man shot and killed in Jacksonville, Florida for listening to loud music. Michael Dunn opened fire on the vehicle where Jordan was murdered. This was the beginning to where Phillips would attend numerous funerals as a “family attorney.” Dunn was convicted, Davis’ family received a civil settlement from the family’s uninsured motorist carrier and Dunn’s auto carrier. The most important part to come from the tragic murder of Jordan was the fact that Jordan Davis became part of the national conversation about equality and race. Two documentaries have been released concerning the case entitled, “10 Bullets and 3 ½ Minutes.” Tribeca premiered “Armor of Light” which discussed the movement Jordan’s murder caused and Phillips’ family. John has said time and time again the experience allowed him to better understand the loss by the family of Jordan Davis.
John was appointed to the Human Rights Commission by the Mayor of Jacksonville, as a volunteer commissioner. He feels as if he is walking in the footsteps of his mother’s grandfather and father. The stories of his grandfather and great-grandfather, an attorney and judge in Mississippi, gave him the inspiration to become a trial lawyer. In 2015 John was selected to speak at a TEDx talk on equality and race. The speech called America’s Greatest Enemy: The Unevolving Virus of Prejudice, was one of the first that TEDx broadcast live on its YoutTube channel and remains one of the most watched talk in the State of Florida. John’s TEDx talk was called “America’s Greatest Enemy: the Unevolving Virus of Prejudice.”
“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal ….” But do we really believe that? Phillips submits that the hypocrisy uttered in this line has not changed much since 1776. “Not when slavery was abolished in 1865. Not when women were allowed to vote in 1920. Not when the African Americans were allowed to “Unless you are a parent who has lost a child, it is vote in 1965,“ spoke John Phillips. still impossible to truly walk around in someone’s skin,” he said. “Jordan Davis’ death profoundly affected me, affected my family, affected my business model. “Justice is spelled one way,” he explains, “but it is I’ve gone from just saying: ‘I’m a personal injury www.cityxtramagazine.com 10
America’s Greatest Enemy: The Unevolving Virus of Prejudice Lawyer’ to ‘we’re not worried about really profit. We’re worried about changing laws and doing whatever that takes,” stated John Phillips. The values, morals and integrity learned by John M. Phillips are now being passed along to his legal team at the Law Office of John M. Phillips. The legal team includes Attorneys Matthew Hunt, John M. Phillips, Reid Hart, T.C. Roberts, Brent Latour, Scott Burdick and Jessica Jowers. Practice areas include criminal
He’s Never Done That Before By Jack Bobeck
It’s an altogether too frequent response that dog owners have for dog service businesses. Either because they have no idea about the canine in their house, or they simply do not want to acknowledge that their dog, their animal, is capable of this type of behavior. This article, “He’s Never Done that Before”, comes primarily from the most recent issue, July / Aug 2016 of Pet Boarding and Daycare. We hope you enjoy it and get a chuckle from it, but call us and ask us who we recommend for correcting these behaviors. We are happy to share with our clients in Jacksonville, especially the neighborhoods of Riverside, Avondale and Ortega. He’s Never Done that Before We all know dogs. We know what they do. Humans have been around them for about 15,000 years. You could sit down and list most of their known behaviors off the top of your head. They run, they bark, they bite, they chew things. They also nuzzle, snuggle, lick, pee, poop and roll in noxious, decayed things. Despite our collective knowledge of canines, one of the most common, naïve comments by people is “he’s never done that before.”
do is possible. The other lives in a world where if it hasn’t happened yet, it doesn’t require a moment’s consideration. As a person involved in a dog’s life outside the immediate family, you are in a perfect position to help your clients get savvy. The direct benefit for them is a less frustrating and potentially much longer life with their pet. For you, retaining a client is a very good thing. Here are some suggestions of simple topics you can bring up in a conversation to get your clients thinking about what their dogs can and may do, someday.
He's Never Done that Before Aggression
Most dogs are capable of skilled, serious aggression. As infants, they play-fight with miniature ferocity until they become adept at using aggression. This behavior is often allowed to develop as the pup grows to maturity. While the act of play–fighting may lay dormant for many This isn’t a casual comment like saying it’s the first months, the dog still gains coordination, speed, time your nine–month–old male dog lifted his leg, and stamina as it ages. If some event triggers the it’s usually a response to some bizarre or tragic aggression when the dog is an adult, we hear the event—like my neighbor’s dog that slipped out of magic words. the gate yesterday, followed the family car down The most common times to watch out for the street and across a busy thoroughfare. He aggression are the advent of sexual maturity, didn’t make it. The father (mother) explained why (about 8–9 months) social maturity (12–24 they were so surprised by the dog’s behavior by months) and when new dogs are introduced into saying the magic words— he never did that the family. Being able to ask questions about a before. He certainly isn’t going to do that again. dog’s development makes the perfect entree into Be Prepared: Savvy Pet Ownership Revealed The Boy Scout motto is “be prepared.” If you weigh that against the “he never did that before” mantra you will instantly see which one works best. One assumes that any behavior a dog can www.cityxtramagazine.com 12
suggesting training in advance of the need to react to an aggressive event. Every dog AND owner could use some training. No matter if its training in a group at a big box store, the simple process of training is a stepping stone that every pet and owner need during their lives. Both pet and owner need training.
He’s Never Done That Before Continued
Home Security One of the behaviors most likely to lead to “Gee, he’s never done that before,” revolves around outdoor gates, front doors, and garage doors. There is a reason why every municipality has dog catchers—it’s because dogs escape and range freely. While some owners allow this, most don’t. Sometimes it’s the pool guy who accidentally left the gate open. (Which is why a discussion of this topic can help you head–off a tragedy.) There are products available to that can metaphorically lock the door on this possibility. PetSafe makes a product call the Paws Away. It is a form of containment system that uses a small transmitter connected to a collar that gives a sting if the dog gets too close. They are meant to be used indoors but putting them in a sealable plastic bag can teach a dog never to approach a gate unless invited. They are fantastic at teaching dogs not to charge the front door and escape.
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Why Saying All Lives Matter Is and Always Was Racist The phrase “black lives matter” – the phrase mirrored, distorted, refuted and mocked by the phrase “all lives matter” – entered the lexicon in 2013, after 28-year-old neighborhood watchman George Zimmerman was acquitted for the shooting death of unarmed 17-year-old Trayvon Martin in a gated housing community in Florida. The choice of words was meant to address a horrible disparity in this country: black people in America are nearly eight times more likely to die of homicide than white people. At its root, the phrase is a call for the US Justice Department to change this – with the implied suggestion that more effective prosecution of people who kill unarmed black teenagers would be a good place to start. President Obama put it well during a panel discussion about the criminal justice system. “I think the reason that the organizers used the phrase ‘black lives matter’ was not because they were suggesting nobody else’s lives matter. What they were suggesting was, there is a specific problem that is happening in the African American community that’s not happening in other communities. And that is a legitimate issue that we’ve got to address.”
is more often made in craven, self-pitying defensiveness, in protection of an unfair status quo in our country that people like those chanting in support of Donald Trump’s campaign for president hope to maintain. If you choose to say those words “all lives matter” in a conversation with your friends, or if you type the hashtag on Twitter or put it up on Facebook or something, you should know what you’re saying. You are not saying that all human life is equal. You are saying that there is no racial disparity in America. You are refuting rafts of statistics that prove there is racial disparity in America. You are saying, simply and straightforwardly, that black lives do not matter. At least not as much as white ones do. Is this what you want to be saying?
Since then, though, as a response to the Black Lives Matter movement, the words “all lives matter” has become a commonly heard refrain. And the tension between “black lives matter” and “all lives matter” has become an issue on both sides of the current presidential campaign, with various candidates stumbling over the subject at various times. Often people who say “all lives matter” say it pointedly, correctively under the veneer of the idea that “all men are created equal”. It is meant to refute the idea that “only” black lives matter. But understanding “black lives matter” to mean “only” black lives matter has been a misinterpretation from the beginning, one made in ignorance of the intent of the statement and the statistical facts that led to it. It’s often a misinterpretation made in innocent ignorance, I’m sure. I would argue that it www.cityxtramagazine.com 14
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Debate on Gun Violence By Michael Jensen
UT students have been debating the now imminent campus carry implementation for over a year. Although the tone of the debate has occasionally been light-hearted or even silly, the public divide on the issue is very real. The Orlando massacre is a painful reminder that gun violence remains a deadly and serious problem. In this often ugly and divisive climate, it’s never been more important for students on both sides to make a real effort to understand each other. Virtually every American agrees that some steps should be taken to reduce gun violence, but this hasn’t translated into legislation. There are several explanations for this inaction — from a deadlocked congress to the powerful influence of special interests groups — but the vast cultural chasm between gun enthusiasts and proponents of stronger gun regulations certainly isn’t helping. For millions of American gun owners, firearms aren’t just toys or means of self-defense. In much of the so-called American heartland, gun ownership more closely resembles a family tradition or a way of life. While firearms are obviously no longer necessary for survival or making a living in a developed country like the United States, it wasn’t so long ago that they were. For many American communities and families this history is part of their identity, and it’s completely understandable that they resent having opposing values forced on them by outsiders. On the other hand, guns often represent something else entirely for the millions of Americans in more urban settings. These Americans largely lack the deeply entrenched tradition of gun ownership found in other parts of the country, and rather than being a source of pride, guns are often associated with crime, senseless violence and fear.
suffered 300 gun homicides, the country as a whole has suffered 194 mass shootings and the recent Orlando massacre is officially the deadliest mass shooting in recent U.S. history. Guns are incredibly dangerous, especially in urban settings, so it’s no surprise that support for gun control is strongest in the large cities along the east and west coasts. A licensed gun owner in rural New Mexico may be well-versed in gun safety and very unlikely to harm anyone else, but that doesn’t change the horrifying reality of gun violence in a city like Chicago. The United States is home to a dizzying array of different cultures and ways of life. For the most part, it somehow works and this diversity is precisely what’s made the American project so successful. However, sometimes we willfully ignore or even dismiss the lifestyles of others, and this is where the whole thing starts to break down. Like the United States as a whole, UT is incredibly diverse, home to students from vastly different backgrounds. It’s not hard to find someone on campus who either supports or opposes stricter gun control. So next time you come across someone you strongly disagree with, try to empathize with them before dismissing whatever they have to say.
These negative feelings aren’t unfounded. Since the beginning of 2016, Chicago alone has www.cityxtramagazine.com 17
Happiness is Something You Can Control By Dr. Harvey Carr
There are many things we can’t control in our lives. We can’t pick our families, our co-workers, or have the option of deleting traumatic events. Although all these factors play a role in our daily lives and influences our peace and happiness—we do have control on how happy we can be in life. as well. When people mistreat you it comes from You can label it whatever your heart desires. It can their internal garbage. Don’t accept or make it your be called “Mission Happiness,” or “My Operation of responsibly. Send goodness, as Ling writes and be on your way. Happiness.” Regardless, author and Happiness expert Kristie Ling is fast becoming my hero during this journey when she wrote that happiness can be mastered and is like riding a bike. In Operation Happiness, Ling explores that we can make the decisions to not take it personally or external circumstances to rob your joy. For example ask yourself what are you thinking about? Is it positive or is it negative? You can catch yourself, and replace those nasty thoughts, which by the way control your emotions and take back the reins.
Make a list of what is weighing you down. Is it your friends? If so, seek people who are positive and be that positive person who attracts people of the like. Start today.
During hard times look at what is good in your life. Gratitude lifts your inner man and can allow you to be joyful and less aggressive. Try making a gratitude journal, pray or meditate. WebMD reported that gratitude is good for the heart and immune system. “Optimism also has a positive “The way we start each day essentially determines health impact on people with compromised health. what kind of day we’ll have,” Ling offered. In separate studies, patients confronting AIDS, as This train of thinking also will pay dividends down well as those preparing to undergo surgery, had the road for your health. Emotional health plays an better health outcomes when they maintained important role in our health. When we are stressed attitudes of optimism.” the hormone cortisol is released and can create Live in the moment today. “Don't postpone joy havoc on the heart leading to high blood pressure, waiting for a day when your life is less busy or less stroke, or high blood pressure. We can’t control stressful. That day may never come,” wrote the how long we live, but making better decisions that Mayo Clinic. “Look for opportunities to savor the lead to happiness can only help. small pleasures of everyday life. Focus on the positives in the present moment, instead of Keep a toolbox ready when for a mental boost. This can be reviewing past achievements. Keeping dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.” affirmations like scriptures, pick-me-ups, or something you love to do. This can be yoga, observing nature, running, or painting.
Learn to let go. We can’t make people make better choices or treat us better, or make them want to be in a relationship. Learn to let them or it go and Resist the temptation to NOT take things personal. move on so you can heal. Shake it off. I remember when starting out in my career my No matter what, you can do something positive senior pastor did not like my decision on a project. today. It just takes a small step, like taking a break He counseled me regarding what was my thinking from social media, world news, and from negative process in a very unprofessional matter. It was thought patterns. With some practice you can very hurtful, but many experienced this periodically create happiness habits that will last a lifetime. www.cityxtramagazine.com 19
How To Get Back In The Dating Game By Micheal Johnson
Have you just come out of a relationship or not really had time to date recently? We understand it can be difficult to throw yourself back into the dating world, especially as the landscape seems to change almost daily. Don’t worry though, we’ve pulled together a couple of tips for letting the boys know you’re back in town!
Get back in the game: Let the gay world know you’re single and ready to mingle. Rather than hanging out in bars waiting for the right guy to approach you, get the ball rolling and sign up to an online dating site. Signing up is a great way to see other gay singles in your local area, so bite the bullet and get back in the game.
Groom appropriately: When grooming its key to know your strengths. If you can grow a beard and have luscious facial hair then a little man fur might not be a bad idea. However, if like many men you struggle to grow a magnificent mane then we’d suggest going for the clean shaven look.
Re-read their dating profile: Before you go out it might help to have another look at your date’s Don’t stick to a type: The best thing about match.com online dating profile. Doing this will joining a dating website is that there’s lots of give you a good idea of your date’s interests – single men to choose from so don’t stick to your usual type. Sometimes it’s the guys that you least where they like to go on holiday, what they like to read, their favorite films etc. These can be used as expect to date that will win your heart. a starting pointing for conversation to avoid any Don’t give up on finding a date: When you first awkward silences. sign up to a dating site it can be really exciting. You’ve filled in your profile, are browsing other gay Enjoy yourself: So you’re looking great in some singles and sending people messages. After a few dapper clothing, you’re armed with conversation weeks however it can seem like you’re not making starters and you’re ready to head out. Our final progress and you might start to lose interest. Don’t advice is to relax and enjoy yourself. Even if they give up! Keep searching for dates. You’d be very end up not being the one, you would have met someone new and gained a bit more experience lucky to find a date in the first few weeks of signing up to a dating website and you need to put in the gay dating world. in the time to get the results you want. Tips for when you’re on a date After chatting to people for a while you’ll eventually decide to meet up and go on a date together which can be quite nerve wracking. We’ve got some top tips to keep your cool. Dress to impress: What to wear on a date can be hard to judge. Our advice would be to first think about the event – are you going to be having dinner or going out? Is the venue formal or casual? Thinking about your destination can really help guide your decisions. For more advice, read our dating advice on what not to wear on first dates. www.cityxtramagazine.com 24
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