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PREPARING FOR 2017
Publisher/Executive Editor: David Vandygriff dvandygriff@cityxtramagazine.com
By Dr. Harvey Carr
Four Ways Companies Can Show a Commitment to Social Justice
Editor In Chief: Harvey Carr editor@cityxtramagazine.com
10 Reasons Older Gay Men Are Better Lovers
Creative Designer: Jason Smith designer@cityxtramagazine.com Sales Department: Adam Plante, Esq. aplante@cityxtramagazine.com
2016 The Worst Year Ever For The LGBT Community
Queer vs. Gay By: John Hollywood
City Council Members Introduce Fully-Inclusive #JaxHRO
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Bill Gates’ Foundation Invests $140 Million Contributing Writers Laura Riggs, Dr. Harvey Carr, Attorney Gordon To Research HIV-Preventing Implants Nicol, Meredith O’Malley Johnson, Tina Vaughn, Jake Moore, Tyler Curry Editor HIV Equal Online, Sebastian Fortino, David Vandygriff, Joey Amato Publisher Unite Magazine
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PREPARING FOR 2017 By Dr. Harvey Carr
Here we are in a month named after the Roman god Janus, an appropriate personification of the start of a new year. Janus had two faces so that he could look ahead toward the future and back at the past at the same time. As we get rid of an old year and look forward to a new one, we all try to be a little like Janus. We know through experience what we did wrong and what we did right, and hope to do better this year. Some people make ambitious New Year’s resolutions; others just take a deep breath and hope for the best. May I suggest we each take the twelve fine, fullgrown months ahead of us; see that these are thoroughly free from old memories of bitterness, rancor and hate, cleanse them completely from every clinging spite; pick off all specks of pettiness and littleness; in short, see that these months are freed from all the past—have them fresh and clean as when they first came from the great storehouse of Time. Cut these months into thirty or thirty-one equal parts. Do not attempt to make up the whole batch at one time (so many persons spoil the entire lot this way) but prepare one day at a time.
mine to grant when you have fewer conflicting desires. All that you dreamed but didn’t dare to do, all that you hoped but did not will, all the faith that you claimed but did not have—these slumber lightly, waiting to be awakened by the touch of a strong purpose.” Bible Illustrator May each of us, in our own way, pray to the being we worship: Dear Empowering One, please give me…
A few friends who understand me and remain my friends; A work to do which has real value, without which the world would be the poorer; A mind unafraid to travel, even though the trail be not blazed; An understanding heart; A sense of humor; Into each day put equal parts of faith, patience, Time for quiet, silent meditation; courage, work (some people omit this ingredient A feeling of the presence of God; and so spoil the flavor of the rest), hope, fidelity, The patience to wait for the coming of these liberality, kindness, rest (leaving this out is like leaving the oil out of the salad dressing— don’t do things, it), prayer, meditation, and one well-selected reso- With the wisdom to recognize them when they come. Amen. lution. Put in about one teaspoonful of good spirits, a dash of fun, a pinch of folly, a sprinkling of play, and a heaping cupful of good humor. Listen as the New Year speaks and tells each of us: “I am the new year. I am an unspoiled page in your book of time. I am your next chance at the art of living. I am your opportunity to practice what you have learned about life during the last twelve months. All that you sought and didn’t find is hidden in me, waiting for you to search it but with more determination. All the good that you tried for and didn’t achieve is www.cityxtramagazine.com 6
Four Ways Companies Can Show a Commitment to Social Justice You can hardly walk across the street or browse your Facebook page today without being confronted with another opportunity to join a cause. Whether it’s supporting LGBTQ rights with the Human Rights Initiative, or protecting reproductive rights, there’s no shortage of chances to get involved. For individuals, joining the cause is easy. It becomes more difficult for companies, many of which make a commitment to staying out of politics. Still, companies are rewarded today for being bold in the face of injustice. If you’re a small business owner or big company vice president wondering how to get involved, here are four ways.
1 Support reasonable expressions by employees: As the world debated whether the NFL should step in to stop players like Colin Kaepernick from kneeling during the national anthem, many commended the league for allowing players to peacefully demonstrate for equality. Companies have to walk a tightrope between supporting employees and losing control of the workplace.
charities, companies can show a commitment to social justice by supporting those organizations working on current areas of injustice. Prison reform, for instance, is an issue that impacts communities as a whole, and companies that give to prison reform charities will reap the benefits of excellent press. As an added bonus, they’ll also be improving the communities where they do business.
3 Use money as leverage: The NBA joined with many other businesses in pulling some of its events from North Carolina when the state passed a law thought by many to be hateful toward the transgender community. Companies have shown the ability to bring about change when they’re willing to vote with their checkbooks.
4 Don’t buy from them: It’s always best to support employees in their personal causes to the extent it doesn’t disrupt corporate If you don’t like the way a state or other company is operations. You may find that your employees are more doing business, show your disapproval by refusing to productive when you support them. work with that state or company. Partner with those businesses that share your values. You’ll reap the 2 Make bold statements against bigotry and benefits of better synergy while sending a strong intolerance: message about your Facebook is a great example of a commitment. company that’s shot back against bigotry. When some Many companies today want to get involved in the unnamed employees posted hateful messages on the company’s wall, Mark Zuckerberg released a statement social justice movement. They want to do what is right for their communities while supporting their passionate affirming equality and condemning hatred. employees. Some companies have a difficult time drawing the line If you fall in this category, there are plenty of things you between free speech and hate speech as they try to can do to ensure your corporate voice is heard. allow employees some room for expression. A good Whether you’re a big CEO or just the owner of a small rule of thumb for companies is to encourage opinions business, you have the power to be a force for good. that bring more inclusion while preventing speech designed to inflame, divide, and offend. 3 Support community-based initiatives: Companies get to decide where their charitable dollars will go. While many earmark funds for non-controversial
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10 Reasons Older Gay Men Are Better Lovers By: Mark World
Older gay men come with benefits I’m just going to come right out and say it – older gay men make for better lovers. That statement may strike you as ridiculous but it’s true. You see I should know – I’ve been dating older gay men ever since I came out at 18. To be clear, I define older as anyone that is particular issue. Try doing that with someone greater than 15 years than me. And in case you younger, like my age. Seriously, it’s a giant are wondering, I just turned 35 last October. whine-fest. Hate to say that but it’s just been my experience. My hope in penning this piece is to inspire younger gay men who are sick and tired of the 3. Way better in bed: If you’ve never been dating scene and want to fast track themselves to topped by an older gay man, you don’t know what something real. you’re missing. I’ve sat on guys my age and a Oh, I’ve been there – chasing after people my age whole lot younger and none of them can hold a and younger who say they are looking for love but candle to a hot daddy. The reason is pretty simple – gay men that are older know WTF they are really just want to get laid. Not that there’s doing! That’s because they’ve had a lifetime to anything wrong with sex. perfect their technique. Did you know that you But in my experience, guys who are under 30 just have a hidden gay g-spot? You do! But you’ll don’t know WTF they want. Yeah, yeah – they never discover it with some young dude. may say they want a hubby but when push comes 4. Excellent kissers: Yep, older gay men are to shove, they’re out looking to get off. excellent at kissing. Like the previously made Related: “Better to be single gay man than point, they’ve acquired this skill through years of cheated on” practice. What’s more, they know how to kiss a So for what it’s worth, here are 10 reasons why guy like a f*cking man! Ever kiss a 25-year old? older gay men make better for lovers. When you It’s like putting your lips on wet bread. They don’t read these, know that each item you see listed know how to use their tongue or their lips. But an comes from personal experience. older gay guy knows all about making out. Just 1 Focused on relationship building: One of the thinking about my man’s white whiskers scratching up against my face is getting me main reasons older gay men make for better worked up.! lovers is simply because most are focused on relationship building. They’ve gone through their period in life where they want to sow screw everything that moves, meaning it’s not all about getting booty. 2. Wisdom: My partner is 60 years old and let me tell you, he’s one of the wisest people I know. That’s one of the best things about having an older lover. Their life experiences are treasures to pull upon. When I share a problem with him, there’s a good chance knows something about it because he’s lived that www.cityxtramagazine.com 10
5. Financially stable: While this point may not be true of all older gay men, it’s likely the case for the majority. Pretty much every older guy I’ve dated has their financial sh*t together. This means they own property, have liquid cash in savings and live on a budget. That’s usually not the case with men who are around my age. Most of the guys I know are living with serious financial debt and swimming in credit card bills. I’m not even going to start about student loans. The nice thing about dating that’s financially stable is knowing money isn’t going to be a problem.
10 Reasons Older Gay Men Are Better Lovers (Continued) Not that you use them for cash. I’m simply saywith one another. Ever experience something ing they have the freedom to do different things if like that? It totally sucks! When you’re with the they want to. daddy-type, competition isn’t an issue. In fact, the older guys I’ve dated don’t want to go there. 6. More faithful: I’ve been in several relationships and am here to say that older guys Instead, they’re just fine hanging out in the are a lot more faithful than the twenty-something background. crowd. I don’t know why that is. Maybe it’s because older gay men have played the cheating game before and know how much it can hurt? In all of my previous dating experiences, it was the guy my age-ish who stepped out and got his walls rocked by some random trick. Not so with my older boyfriends.
7. No need for constant attention: I like dating older, more mature gay men because they don’t need constant, non-stop attention. Don’t get me wrong, they like to be noticed but they don’t thrive on it. I can’t say as much for most of the gay guys that are my age. It just seems like many need to be affirmed daily about how “hot” they are. That may sound shallow but it’s true. 8. Competition isn’t an issue: There’s nothing worse than being in a relationship with a guy where it feels like you’re regularly competing
9. Drama Queen Free: It would be unfair to say that all younger men are drama queens on the dating front. But to be brutally honest, many of them are. The drama runs the gambit; from an inability to make simple decisions to stressing out about what cloths to wear. That’s just not the case with older gay men. My experience is they know what they like and don’t like. More important, most don’t give a crap what others think of them. It’s called confidence, which leads me to my final point. 10. More Confident: The most attractive thing, at least to me, about older gay men is the confidence they exude. Why this is part of their persona likely relates to the other 9-reasons (give or take) that I’ve listed above. I know I’m painting with a wide brush but I can only speak to what I know. Sure, there are twenty and thirty somethings like this but I’ve found that to be very rare.
2016 The Worst Year Ever For The LGBT Community As we close in on the end of the year, 2016 is shaping up to be an annus horribilis. But is it the worst year ever? Sure, we’ve been in dire situations before, but we’ve also never had so much to lose. Below, we look at people and events who made 2016 a real Dumpster fire of a year. HB2. In March, the North Carolina General Assembly held a special session, where it quickly pass House Bill 2, which prohibits trans people from using facilities that match their gender identity. Quickly signed by Governor Pat McCrory, HB2 also barred any city or municipality from enacting anti-discrimination laws that include sexual orientation or gender discrimination. It’s become a lightning rod in America, opening the door for more transphobia and hate violence. McCrory was voted out of office last month, but any repeal of HB2 would still have to clear the Republican-controlled statehouse.
ten gay/bisexual men are HIV-positive. Fifty percent of African-American MSM will contract HIV in their lifetime. HIV epidemics have also been reported in China and Russia (maybe because the Kremlin has told people condoms spread the virus). Pulse. As many remember where they were on 9/11, members of the LGBT community will never forget learning about the atrocity committed at a Orlando gay nightclub on June 12. A gunman reminded us we are not as safe as we’d like to believe, as he killed 49 people, injured dozens more, and shattered the lives of thousands of friends, family and loved ones.
“This is a club nobody wants to be a member of,” Christine Leinonen told CNN’s Anderson Cooper David Bowie, R.I.P. Though he backed away in the hours after the assault. Leinonen had yet to from the bisexual label, Bowie was a trailblazer for hear the fate of her son, Christopher, and his gender-nonconformity and sheer artistry. His boyfriend—both of whom would later be declared death on January 10 from liver cancer started the dead. year off with a sour note. “Please let’s all just get along,” She begged. This year, we also lost Prince, Alexis Arquette, “We’re on this earth for such a short time let’s try Leonard Cohen, Pete Burns, Florence Henderson to get rid of the hatred and the violence please!” and others. Transgender murders are still on the rise. Even HIV is still on the rise. According to the CDC, without the gruesome attack on Pulse, trans lives the number of people living with HIV in America have been under attack in increasing numbers: has reach an all-time high of 955,000: On November 5, the murder of Noony Norward In part that’s due to HIV-positive Americans living marked the 24th homicide of a transgender person in America this year, the highest number longer, healthier lives. But the rate of infection among young men who have sex with men is still on record. rising unabated, even as other groups see The majority of those killed were trans women of declines. Gay/bi men accounted for more than color, a group that faces a greater risk of death by 26,000 diagnoses in 2015, compared to 3,000 hate violence than any other, according to the people who acquired HIV via heterosexual contact National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs. and 1,400 by intravenous drug use. In addition to the senseless loss of human life, In Southern cities, as many as three out of every these crimes often reveal bias (both implicit and www.cityxtramagazine.com 12
2016 The Worst Year Ever For The LGBT Community (continued)
explicit) by the police, media and even family members. The election of Donald Trump. The imminent presidency of Donald Trump has frightened many in the LGBT community, in part because we don’t know where we stand: Trump has called marriage equality “settled,” but is stacking his cabinet with anti-LGBT cronies and looks to appoint one or more right-wing justices to the Supreme Court. Since Election Day, we’ve seen an uptick in hate incidents—nearly a thousand in all—as Trump’s campaign stirred up a hornet’s nest of homophobes, sexists and white supremacists who believe their day has finally come.
In 2006, he supported a constitutional amendment defining marriage as between a man and a woman and, more recently, opposed the right of trans people to use facilities matching their gender identity. He even suggested cutting funding to AIDS organizations and rerouting the money towards groups that promise to “cure” gay people. Is it any wonder Pence’s home state of Indiana has seen HIV cases reach epidemic proportions?
The Ghost Ship fire. On December 2, a fire broke out at an underground warehouse party in Oakland, killing 36 people. Performers and partygoers who came to the Ghost Ship that night What’s more, his seemingly haphazard approach included many members of the LGBT community, to governance puts the economy and international who found it a safe haven from an unwelcoming mainstream. relations into jeopardy. Is it any wonder we’re up nights? Among those who perished were (Vice) President Mike Pence. As much as we’re gender-nonconforming artists Em Bohlka, Feral not rooting for President Trump, his impeachment Pines and Cash Askew, as well as gay DJ Joey Casio. or resignation would mean VP-elect Mike Pence would hold the highest office in the land.
While we can’t pin Trump down on LGBT issues, there’s no mistaking Pence’s anti-LGBT agenda:
“We need spaces that are open to folks who are beaten down and oppressed by living daily under patriarchy and white supremacy,” said Oakland musician Russell Butler, who survived the blaze.
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Queer vs. Gay By: John Hollywood
If you have been out for any amount of time, there’s a good you’ve been exposed to the term queer and gay during conversation. In fact, the words are used so much now that many believe they are interchangeable, if not synonymous. But is that really true? Not too long ago, a friend of mine named Steve – a gay man – shared with me that he didn’t like being referred to him as “queer”. When I asked him more about it, he said that word was on the same playing field as “sissy” and that it was offensive. Much of his sentiment pretty much mirrored the viewpoint of so many gay guys I know. To sum it up, Steve felt there was too much negative history with the term, which traditionally has been used as an ugly, homophobic slur.
Now when it came time to talk to guys in their mid-thirties and up, the general consensus was that being “gay” was attraction based whereas “queer” was more political. To a fault, pretty much all of the men (regardless of age) felt that the term gay was exclusive to sexual orientation. Queer was not. As one guy (30’s) shared with me in a private email:
When you’re gay, it means you are homosexual. That means you gravitate heavily, if not entirely, towards people of the same sex. I’ve known you a Honestly, I can respect that. long time and you’ve always been attracted to But simply disliking the word really doesn’t directly guys. In my book, that makes you gay. speak to the primary differences between gay and Here is what another person (late 50’s) shared queer. And so to help get to the heart of the matter, I decided to talk to informally reach out to with me via messenger: a dozen gay men that ranged in age from early The word queer has been hijacked by the f*** so20’s to late 60’s. cial justice warriors. Now, gender fluid and sexual While not scientific, my hope was to gather insight fluid types are in the tent with transgender. Gay men got pushed out a long time ago. And the while shining a light on a cultural issue that bisexuals are still looking for a home. probably deserves a lot more attention. Here is what I found out. First, there wasn’t universal agreement on what exactly queer means. Surprise! In the world of gaydom, we sometimes struggle with defining wolves and otters, so I wasn’t shocked. In any event, the younger gay men (under 30) thought that queer helped people get away from gender labels. Many of these same men also believed the term was often used as a generic catchall that’s grown to encompass anything not “straight”. Here, we’re talking about folks that don’t identify as heterosexual and/or may include non-gender conforming or gender binary. www.cityxtramagazine.com 14
On a closing note, I’ll say here that I know some people hate labels. I completely get it. But I’ll also level with you. Words are often important. Labels help groups come together for a common cause and to establish goals for the future. Without labels, we’d never be able to identify with one another and push back against the forces of bigotry and oppression. And so my not so simple question to you is this. What is the difference between queer vs. gay? PS: We should take all of this in context. Native Americans, which evolved from the phrase American Indians, are currently exploring a more inclusive term, such as Native Indians. www.cityxtramagazine.com 19
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City Council Members Introduce Fully-Inclusive #JaxHRO It’s official—the Jacksonville City Council will consider a fully-inclusive human rights ordinance in the first few weeks of 2017. A bipartisan group of City Council members including Aaron Bowman, Tommy Hazouri and Jim Love filed the update to the City’s current ordinance this morning during a public meeting at City Hall. If passed, the updated human rights ordinance, or #JaxHRO, would protect members of Jacksonville’s gay and transgender community from discrimination in employment, housing and public accommodations.
discrimination in Jacksonville based on who they are or who they love.”
Two of those civic and business leaders are JAX Chamber chair Audrey Moran and incoming chair Darnell Smith, who have been instrumental in pushing for more action and support from the business community. This activity crescendoed in Dan Merkan, who chairs the Jacksonville Coalition the wake of North Carolina’s discriminatory HB2 for Equality, praised the speed with which Council bill, which carried an estimated economic impact of close to $1 billion in lost revenue for the state. members took action on the #JaxHRO this year. Merkan credited the Council’s quick work to the A reading and discussion of the #JaxHRO will rapidly growing number of local businesses, civic take place during the Council’s first scheduled leaders and individual residents who are calling public meeting of the year on Tuesday, January for these inclusive LGBT protections. 10th at 5 p.m. The Council meets on the 4th floor of City Hall, in Suite 425. “We are confident 2017 will be the year Jacksonville passes a fully-inclusive human rights ordinance to ensure all people who live, work and vacation in our city will not have to face discrimination. Over the last year, the Jacksonville Coalition for Equality’s campaign has brought together nearly 200 faith leaders, 700 small and large businesses, hundreds of volunteers, and a support team led by top business and civic Leders to advocate for this much-needed bill. We look forward to the day where no person faces
Over the past year, calls, letters and simply showing up to make the case for the #JaxHRO has been critical to the success we’re seeing now. This first reading next week will set the tone for the rest of the lawmaking season, so it’s important that all supporters of a fully-inclusive HRO show up to City Hall that day to make their voices heard. RSVP at www.jaxequality.org
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Bill Gates’ Foundation Invests $140 Million To Research HIV-Preventing Implants Microsoft founder Bill Gates’ charity foundation has invested a vast amount of funding to research HIV-preventing drug implants. The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation is providing up to $140 million in funding for the groundbreaking new tech, which could revolutionize HIV prevention. At the moment, prevention drugs are available as a pill that, if taken daily, can vastly reduce a person’s chances of being infected with HIV. The drugs are recommended by the World Health Organization for use by at-risk groups including men who have sex with men – but are only effective if the pills are taken consistently. There are hopes that implant technology, similar to systems available for birth control, could be used to deliver a consistent supply of drugs, aiding people vulnerable to HIV.
Intarcia Therapeutics, said: “We are tremendously excited and humbled to work with an incredible organization as smart, forward-looking and purpose-based as the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation.” The company explains: “A matchstick-sized osmotic mini-pump that is placed just under the dermal layer of skin to deliver a continuous and consistent flow of medication. “Once a drug is approved, a trained healthcare professional can place the small device in an in-office procedure. Each osmotic mini-pump is designed to hold an appropriate volume of drug to treat a patient for up to a full year.”
Ahead of large-scale trials of PrEP implants, the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation has entered a relationship with pharma company Intarcia Therapeutics to research and develop the tech. It has pledged $50 million towards the initial project, with a further $90 million funding tied to milestone goals, and a commitment to further development grants if successful. Sue Desmond-Hellmann, CEO of the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, said: “There’s a vital need for an HIV/AIDS intervention that allows those at risk to incorporate prevention more easily into their daily lives. “We feel optimistic about our partnership with Intarcia and the prospect of an implantable prophylactic device that could make a world of difference for people most in need.” Kurt Graves, Chairman, President and CEO of www.cityxtramagazine.com 19
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