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Gay Pride Flay History
Publisher/Executive Editor: David Vandygriff dvandygriff@cityxtramagazine.com
By Jacob King
AIDS in America
Editor In Chief: Harvey Carr editor@cityxtramagazine.com
By Joseph Bennington-Castro
7 Reasons People Stay with a Cheater By Dr. Harvey Carr
10 Ways to be an Ally By James Smith
Gay VS Queer
By Amanda Massengill
Where Gay Pride Began By Bianca Wythe
Creative Designer: Jacob Johnson designer@cityxtramagazine.com Sales Department: Carlos Martinez sales@cityxtramagazine.com cityXtra Magazine is published by cityXtra Inc . 2941 Plum Street Jacksonville, FL 32205 (904) 300-3320 www.cityxtramagazine.com Like us on Facebook/cityxtramag Twitter/cityxtra
Contributing Writers Laura Riggs, Dr. Harvey Carr, Attorney Gordon Nicol, Meredith O’Malley Johnson, Tina Vaughn, Jake Moore, Tyler Curry Editor HIV Equal Online, Sebastian Fortino, David Vandygriff, Joey Amato Publisher Unite Magazine
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Gay Pride Flag History By Jacob King
Color has long played an important role in our communities’ history and expression of pride. In Victorian England, for example, the color green was associated with homosexuality. The color purple (or, more accurately, lavender) became popularized for the lesbian and gay communities with “Purple Power”. And, of course there are the pink and black triangles. The pink triangle was first used by Hitler to identify gay males in Nazi concentration camps, and the black triangle was similarly used to identify lesbians and others deemed “asocial”. The pink and black triangle symbols were reclaimed by our communities in the early 1980s to signify our strength of spirit and willingness to survive oppression. As we gain acceptance of our rights, the symbols of oppression are gradually being replaced by the symbols of celebration. By far the most colorful of our symbols is the Rainbow flag, and its rainbow of colors - red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple, which represent the diversity of our communities. The first rainbow flag was designed in 1978 by Gilbert Baker, a San Francisco artist, in response to calls by activists for a symbol for the community. Baker used the five-striped “Flag of the Race” as his inspiration, and designed a flag with eight stripes: pink, red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet. These colors were Intended to represent respectively: sexuality, life, healing, sun, nature, art, harmony, and spirit. Baker dyed and sewed the material for the first flag himself reminiscent of Betsy Ross and the creation of the US Flag. When Baker approached a company to mass-produce the flags, he found out that “hot pink” was not commercially available. The flag was then reduced to seven stripes. In November 1978, San Francisco’s lesbian, www.cityxtramagazine.com 6
gay and bisexual community was stunned when the city’s first openly gay supervisor, Harvey Milk, was assassinated. Wanting to demonstrate the gay community’s strength and solidarity in the aftermath of the tragedy, the Pride Committee decided to use Baker’s flag. The indigo stripe was eliminated so that the colors could be divided evenly along the parade route - three colors on one side and three on the other. Soon the six colors were incorporated into a six-striped version that became popularized and that, today is recognized by the International Congress of Flag Makers. The flag has become an international symbol of pride and the diversity our communities. Finally, the rainbow is a symbol of diversity. Although myths and stereotypes portray all gays and lesbians as having a single, monolithic “agenda”, the reality is that ours is an extraordinarily diverse community. Across all races and cultural backgrounds, across all languages, with or without disabilities, across all religions, our communities continue to flourish. Sometimes, our own communities are divided between gay and lesbian, between “gay” and “queer”, between those in big cities and those in the suburbs and small towns, between “assimilationists” and those who want to live apart from the mainstream. While diversity poses its challenges, it is also enriching. There are as many opinions as there are people. There is no lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender “lifestyle”, there are only lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people. Millions of us, each one unique. This is our strength.
AIDS in America
By Joseph Bennington-Castro
HIV is a difficult-to-treat virus that impairs the immune system's ability to fight infections and diseases. The human immunodeficiency virus, or HIV, is a virus that attacks the body's immune system. Specifically, the virus infects people's CD4-positive (CD4+) T-helper cells. Those cells — sometimes known as CD4 cells, T-helper cells, or T4 cells — are white blood cells that play an important role in the immune system. Over time, HIV can destroy CD4 cells, impairing the immune system's ability to fight off infections and diseases. The final stage of an HIV infection is called acquired immunodeficiency syndrome, or AIDS. AIDS is a life-threatening disease, and occurs when your immune system is severely damaged.AIDS is usually diagnosed when your CD4 cells are very low or when you develop one or more opportunistic illnesses, such as pneumonia or tuberculosis, as a result of an HIV infection and a compromised immune system. In the United States, there are about 50,000 new cases of HIV each year, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). The CDC further estimates that some 1.2 million Americans were living with HIV in 2011, and about 14 percent of these people (168,000) didn't even know they were infected. The devastating virus doesn't affect different groups of people equally. Of the estimated 47,500 new U.S. cases of HIV in 2010, about two-thirds of the newly infected people were bisexual or gay men, according to CDC data. Different races and ethnicities also www.cityxtramagazine.com 8
experience skewed HIV infection rates. In 2010, African-Americans, whites, and Hispanic/Latinos accounted for 44, 31, and 21 percent of new HIV cases in the United States, respectively. Despite improved treatment options available since the AIDS outbreak in the 1980s, people still die from the disease. In 2012, AIDs caused the death of 13,712 people in the United States, bringing the total AIDS death toll in the country to 658,507 people, according to the CDC. Since the epidemic began decades ago, HIV has infected approximately 78 million people, and about 39 million people with AIDS have died, WHO notes. Blood, semen, pre-seminal fluid, rectal fluids, vaginal fluids, and breast milk can transmit HIV between people. For someone to get HIV, however, infected fluids must be injected directly into the bloodstream, or come in contact with damaged tissue (cuts) or the mucous membranes in the vagina, opening of the penis, rectum, and mouth. In the United States, HIV is mostly spread through sex — particularly anal and vaginal — with an infected person. The disease is also transmitted through sharing contaminated needles and other paraphernalia for intravenous drug use.
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7 Reasons People Stay with a Cheater By Dr. Harvey Carr
Have you ever been cheated on? If you have, then you know the effects it has on you mentally, emotionally and physically. The moment you find out he/she cheated, your mind and body goes through a tornado of changes. Your thoughts may say "I can't believe he/she did this to me", "with who?, when?, for how long?" or you just go blank. You may feel Try to understand failing as an opportunity to nauseated, sweaty, trembling, or completely grow and change. If you do not fail at anything numb. in life, then you cannot learn, or possibly thrive Your blood pressure begins to elevate, your from difficult experiences. stomach starts to churn, and you try to gain Fear of the Unknown: You have been with control over your body’s emotional and physical them for some time now and have invested time response. This terribly uncomfortable state is in getting to know them, and fallen into a known as the fight or flight response. This is comfort zone both emotionally and financially. how you respond to a “perceived threat”, where You already know their idiosyncrasies and your body prepares itself for the options of habits. Some people stay in relationships fighting or fleeing the scene. What motivates because it's familiar and that familiarity may be people to stay with a person that causes them a comfortable discomfort. Some people stay to experience this horrible reaction by cheating? because they fear not having the income to 7 common reasons people stay with people survive if they divorce themselves from the relationship. (they love) who cheated. Love Will Conquer All: Love can make you When you know what you have, or are dealing do crazy things, even stay with someone who's with, it feels better than the fear of not knowing cheated on you. Some people simply say, “I what you may get. Facing the unknown is believe in forgiveness and I love him/her”. It's scary. Worrying about how your life will be always been difficult to define love but we know without them can be frightening. Working on that it feels so powerful when we are in it. Love strengthening your sense-of-self whether through self-help books or in therapy is is the umbrella for many things such as relationship status, stability, familiarity, regular pertinent in helping you make the best decision sex, and companionship. Make sure the things for yourself. under your umbrella of love are meaningful Excuses: After finding out that your enough for you to stay in the relationship. boyfriend/husband or girlfriend/wife cheated on Nobody Likes to Fail at Love: Some people you, many reasons and excuses for the I will try to work at the relationship and save it no nfidelity run around in your mind. “He/She may matter how high the stakes are. You may feel have been stressed out by work, or our kids get you have invested time, money and energy in him/her crazy.” “Maybe I don’t dress up the way your relationship, and do not want to feel like a I used to.” “I don’t give him/her enough attention or sex.” “I may have become boring.” I need to failure. Counseling is very important in this specific issue. You want to make sure that you do my makeup every day.” “I need to the gym more often.” “Once he/she sees how hot I am, can heal from the deception and regain trust. www.cityxtramagazine.com 10
7 Reasons People Stay with a Cheater Continued
he/she will not cheat again.” “I am a believer and I just don’t believe in divorce.” Please be honest and introspective with yourself to make sure you don’t fall into the excuse trap. Excuses are one of the easiest way to avoid looking at the truth. And, as for being a believer, God never intended for anyone to live miserably, and often had nothing to do with the relationship from the beginning. Low Self-Esteem: People who have low selfconfidence and worth devalue themselves. These people don’t love themselves enough to make better decisions in their lives. If you believe you are not worthy of more, or afraid you won’t find another, better, hotter man/ woman, then you will excuse their cheating. Work on your self-confidence and self-worth before settling for a mate that cheats. Possessive People: You can’t imagine your mate with any other man/woman. He/She may be a cheater and liar but he/she is all yours. Some people need to have the possession of their mate, good, bad, or indifferent. Love yourself first, and you will not need to have a person as your possession. He's my "Baby Daddy" or She’s my “Baby Momma:” He/She is the father/mother of my child(ren). People don’t want to be known as the bad one who breaks up their family. They may have cheated on you but they had a baby with you. “He’s/She’s just a slut.” “He/She only wanted them for sex, but he/she loves and wants our baby and me.” If you are not married, be cautious of “baby daddys” and “baby mommas” for they already have you and the baby without the marriage license to encourage them to commit and no fear of legal responsibility of alimony.
10 Ways to be an Ally By James Smith
Sure, you watch The Ellen DeGeneres Show on TV, and you "know" Kevin from Brothers & Sisters and Marc on Ugly Betty, but is there someone in your real life who is lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender (LGBT)? Probably. Betty DeGeneres — Ellen's mom — made this comparison in her book Just a Mom: "Let me suggest that we all know someone who is left-handed. Lefties make up roughly the same percentage [of the population] as gay people. And yet millions of Americans say they don't know someone who is gay. Unless those people who claim ignorance are living in a place called Fantasyland, they are most likely mistaken." LGBT people are our mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles and cousins. This is a fact and it isn't going away. You have the opportunity to be an ally and a friend at home, school, church and work. A straight ally can merely be someone who is supportive and accepts the LGBT person, or a straight ally can be someone who personally advocates for equal rights and fair treatment. Allies are some of the most effective and powerful voices of the LGBT movement. Not only do allies help people in the coming-out process, they also help others understand the importance of equality, fairness, acceptance and mutual respect.
4-Be inclusive and invite LGBT friends to hang out with your friends and family. 5-Don't assume that all your friends and co-workers are straight. Someone close to you could be looking for support in their coming-out process. Not making assumptions will give them the space they need. 6-Anti-LGBT comments and jokes are harmful. Let your friends, family and co-workers know that you find them offensive. 7-Confront your own prejudices and bias, even if it is uncomfortable to do so. 8-Defend your LGBT friends against discrimination. 9-Believe that all people, regardless of gender identity and sexual orientation, should be treated with dignity and respect. 10-If you see LGBT people being misrepresented in the media, contact glaad.org or wearestraightallies.org
As you read on, you will find helpful resources that will give you more information on being an ally and a friend. 10 Ways to Be an Ally: 1-Be a listener 2-Be open-minded 3-Be willing to talk www.cityxtramagazine.com 13
Gay VS Queer By Amanda Massengill
"Queer implies something more countercultural
and politically radical.” Although most people regard the two terms as synonyms, I’m a firm believer that there is a difference between being queer and being gay. As a sometimes drag queen and a radical faerie who frequently presents as androgynous, I resist being seen as simply “male.” The term “queer” helps me escape that rigidly defined gender category. But living in New York, my life involves being in both queer and gay circles. Although I identify as queer, some of my best friends are gay men. I love a radical-faerie-run experimental queer film festival, but I also enjoy a good tea dance in the Pines. Yet recently I’ve really noticed how specifically different the two communities can feel. Is there a conflict in being part of both communities, though? Perhaps the answer lies in defining the terms more clearly, and that’s what I set out to do. So I posted the question on Facebook: “What is the difference between gay and queer?” Immediately I started hearing the notification alerts chiming. In minutes I had over 30 comments. Apparently, folks had a lot to say about the topic! Some commenters used the term “queer” as a catch-all metaphor, but specified what belonged under it. “Queer is an umbrella term for sexual and gender minorities that are not heterosexual, hetero-normative, or gender-binary,” one of my friends noted. Others broadened what can be considered “queer” and pointed out that “every time there is a term like LGBT someone feels left out. Queer is a blanket term that includes all identities even some we don’t have letters for yet.” That definition is useful for people who chose to identify both as “gay” and “queer.” But for many, the terms are vastly different, depending on their political or nonpolitical nature. “Gay is a lifestyle, Queer is a political idea,” one commenter posted. Another stated, www.cityxtramagazine.com 14
“Gay is specifically homosexual…Queer implies something more countercultural and politically radical.”
Others distinguished the two terms as they relate to sex and gender, saying that “gay” is about sexual orientation, whereas “queer is defined by an approach to gender and sexuality that emphasizes fluidity, play and versatility.” An older friend pointed out that for some people “queer“ can sound offensive. “I think it tends to be an identity adopted [more] by younger people than older [people], for whom the word has more baggage.“ It’s interesting to note that while the definition of “gay” is pretty clear-cut, “queer”—the more fluid and open of the two terms—is, according to my Facebook panel, much more slippery and hard to define. What they have in common may be most important: whether you identify as “queer” or “gay,” both grant you access to a rich history, culture and community.
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Where Gay Pride Began By Bianca Wythe
Over the past 46 years annual gay pride parades have become tradition in dozens of cities worldwide. They have evolved from radical marches into festive parades with elaborate floats and notable participants including politicians and well-known entertainers. In most cities, the parades are part of a larger celebration known as Pride week, typically filled with events celebrating the diversity of LGBT communities such as Pride Idol, film festivals, dance parties, and "best dressed in drag" contests. The annual celebrations have become a pivotal way of celebrating LGBT history and diversity. This year on June 26th, New York City will be celebrating its 46th gay pride march with an estimated 500,000 participants. In June of 1970, the nation's first parade commemorated the one-year anniversary of the Stonewall riots -- the nearly week-long uprising between New York City youth and police officers following a raid of Stonewall Inn. Stonewall was a popular gay bar located on Greenwich Village's Christopher Street, and the uprising helped bring the LGBT civil rights movement into the national spotlight. A year later, activists celebrated the uprising with the "Christopher Street Gay Liberation Day" march. Several participants in the parade were wary of the potential public reaction to gay men, women and drag queens walking in solidarity through the streets of upper Manhattan. Everyone involved knew that homophobia remained rampant in society. In those days, the idea of walking in daylight, with a sign saying, 'I'm a faggot,' was horrendous. Nobody, nobody was ready to do that.
parade describe their fear and trepidation that day. John O'Brien admits that there had been nothing planned for the rally in Central Park, since the group could not rely on making it the entire way. Yet as the original marchers left Christopher Street to walk uptown, hundreds -and then thousands -- of supporters joined in. The crowd marched with growing joy and gusto from Greenwich Village into uptown Manhattan and Central Park, holding gay pride signs and banners, chanting "Say it clear, say it loud. Gay is good, gay is proud." The unlikely success of the "Christopher Street" parade became a catalyst for local organizations throughout the U.S. and across the globe. By the 1980s, most major U.S. cities had their own parades, and outside the U.S., pride parades have occurred in some fairly unlikely places such as Moscow, Tel Aviv and Nepal. In a Presidential proclamation delivered earlier this month, President Obama officially designated June to be LGBT Pride Month. The growing number of pride parades is an indication of the broadening social acceptance of LGBT people and culture. "In every gay pride parade, every year, Stonewall lives," says LGBT rights activist Virginia Apuzzo.
In the Stonewall Uprising, attendees of that first www.cityxtramagazine.com 17
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