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Get Over It
Publisher/Executive Editor: David Vandygriff dvandygriff@cityxtramagazine.com
By Dr Harvey Carr
7-Day Detox HIV Stigma
Editor In Chief: Harvey Carr editor@cityxtramagazine.com
By Tyler Curry
Creative Designer: Jason Smith designer@cityxtramagazine.com
The Specktator
By David W Vandygriff
Obama: Stonewall Gay Monument By Beau Yarbrough
Undercover Boss Hamburger Mary’s By David Vandygriff
DOJ Files Lawsuit Against NC By Stephen Peters, HRC
Sales Department: Adam Plante, Esq. aplante@cityxtramagazine.com cityXtra Magazine is published by cityXtra Inc . 2941 Plum Street Jacksonville, FL 32205 (904) 300-3320 www.cityxtramagazine.com Like us on Facebook/cityxtramag Twitter/cityxtra
Contributing Writers Laura Riggs, Dr. Harvey Carr, Attorney Gordon Nicol, Meredith O’Malley Johnson, Tina Vaughn, Jake Moore, Tyler Curry Editor HIV Equal Online, Sebastian Fortino, David Vandygriff, Joey Amato Publisher Unite Magazine
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ORLANDO Parliament House: 410 Orange Blossom Trail (407) 425-7571 parliamenthouse.com ST. PETERSBURG
Club Jax: 1939 Hendricks Ave. (904) 398-7451 clubjax.com
Flamingo Resort: 4601 34th St. S (727) 321-5000 flamingofla.com
Hamburger Mary’s: 3333-1 Beach Blvd. (904) 551-2048 hamburgermarys.com/jax
Sporters Bar: 187 Dr. MLK St. N (9th St.) (727) 821-1920
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Get Over It
By Dr Harvey Carr
Since hopes and dreams are part of life then it shouldn’t come as a surprise that disappointment often accompanies those idealisms. Even though it may sting or cause emotions to stir, it’s important not to allow disappointment to take over your entirety. Instead of reasoning why something didn’t work out the way you anticipated, look for ways you can better your life because of a short coming. Every journey is full of road blocks and obstacles but it’s not impossible to move past them and persevere within challenges that arise.
yourself out of the rut. No matter how many people you have within your support circle, in reality you’re the only one that can get over your disappointment. Prepare a game plan that will help you feel better about your life and the disappointment you’ve encountered.
FAITH: When the world feels like it’s closing in on you, turn to your faith to provide you ACCEPT FAILURE: No one is perfect and with the strength and power to overcome the despite the high standards that an individual obstacle that is causing you grief. Anything is imposes on their life doesn’t mean failure is possible when you have your faith on your useless. Instead of focusing on the action of side. God will listen to your fears and failure, try to refocus your thoughts to the setbacks. He will also provide you with the things you could have done to achieve a tools you need to get past the disappointment better outcome. Learn from your mistakes that is engulfing your life. The great thing and evolve into a better being. While you’re about having a strong sense of faith means in the moment, it may be hard to understand no matter where you are in the world or in and accept but realize that failure is common your life; you can always channel your faith to and is just another lesson in life. Once you guide you on your journey. can accept the commonality and education that lies within failure, you’ll be able to over- STOP THE COMPARISON: It’s important to come the disappointment you’re feeling and understand that disappointment happens to move onto the next chapter within your life. everyone. You can be the richest person in the world or be a celebrity – disappointment LIMIT YOUR SORROW: Depending on the has no qualifications because it’s that’s severity of the disappointment, everyone common. When you feel compelled to deserves time to wallow within their own compare your disappointment to the others depths of sorrow. However, it’s imperative to around you – don’t! In reality, you don’t know remember and practice the belief that sorrow the truth that lies behind the closed doors of cannot last an eternity. Don’t allow yourself to others. While they may appear to have it all feel sorry for yourself and your situation for together, they probably don’t. While they may more than a few days. Once you’ve maxed seem to be living the life of luxury, they may out your sad spell, move forward by mapping be incredibly unhappy. Resist the urge of out what actions you need to take to get casting judgment and formulating opinions on www.cityxtramagazine.com 6
Get Over It (Continued) By Dr Harvey Carr
on matters and situations that aren’t your own. Once you’re able to accept your own disappointment and deal with your own issues you’ll feel a huge burden lifted off of your shoulders. GET REAL: Identify what you’re capable of achieving and what’s realistic and aim to accomplish those goals. For example, if you’re a writer aim to be a professional however accept that becoming the next JK Rowling is probably not going to happen. Accepting the reality in life is not giving up on your dreams, it’s actually leveling the playing field so you can stop emotionally cutting yourself. Don’t beat yourself up. Look for ways to build you up and develop into a greater being by those principals and standards. Resist the urge of focusing on the disappointments you encounter in life. Make the most out of your life by looking for the positive in everything you experience. Always remember that life is what you make it. If you’re not willing to put forth the effort then cannot expect to overcome the commonality of disappointment.
7-Day Detox HIV Stigma By Tyler Curry
Whether you are newly diagnosed or a long-term survivor, the weight of living with HIV can sometimes get you down. It’s just as important to manage your mental health as well as your physical health. After all, there will never be a cure for HIV stigma until there is a cure for HIV. If you haven’t done such a great job with keeping up with your mental health regimen, here is a 7-day detox to shed excess stigma and help you feel a little lighter again.
that life is to too short and nothing should be taken for granted. Day 5 - Make a new appointment with your doctor: You may dread going to the doctor, but you can’t deny the feeling of levity you get from the calming influence of someone who knows Day 1 - Unfollow anyone who brings you down: more about HIV than you do. If you are feeling Unlike most diets, the first day of this stigma anything less than fine about HIV, schedule an cleanse is the easiest. Social media is an appointment with your doctor for lab work and just ever-increasing force in our lives. It is up to you a good chat. Make a list of questions that you whether that force is for the good or for the bad. always forget to ask when you are up on the table On day one of your detox, unfollow anyone who and take the time to get comfortable with the you feel doesn’t shine a light in your life. Day 2 - Establish your go-to shoulder to lean on: It person who’s in charge of your treatment. Day 6 - Find a new social outlet: Whether it’s a doesn’t matter what your current issue or happy hour for professionals in your field of work frustration with HIV may be, sometimes you just or a new sports league that you’ve wanted to join, need to vent. On day two of your stigma detox, take today to create new relationships in your life. reach out to someone you trust and set up a Putting yourself out there and developing new meeting where you can let it all out. Having a relationships can sometimes be intimidating when support system is crucial to living well with HIV. living with HIV, but probably the best way to bring Day 3 - Bullet point the basics on health and some levity and joy into your life. prevention: Even though the science is on your side, it can be easy to slip into a depressed state Day 7 - Volunteer your time to help others: Congratulations! You have reached the last day of when you are living with a chronic disease that you stigma detox. For six days you have been carries stigma. On day three, brush up on the thinking how to help yourself. So on day seven, facts and bullet point the basics about treatment it’s time to shift your focus to the problems of and prevention. You are a safe and sexy bet, so others. Find a non-profit organization that you feel take today and create a list that will help you passionately about and donate your time to help never forget it. others who are in need. Volunteering can Day 4 - Do something fun: The best way to eliminate any remnants of stigma you may have combat stigma is to live your life in a way that and give you perspective on the problems in your utterly flies in the face-of-face of those who try life. and keep you down. Today, make a concerted effort to do something that will incite spontaneous After completing the seven-day stigma detox, belly laughs and make your jaw hurt from smiling revisit any one of the days guidelines to keep your too much. One of the biggest advantages of living own stigma in check and ward off any negative with a chronic disease is that you are reminded assholes or unwarranted fears that naturally comes with life, with or without HIV.
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The Specktator By David W Vandygriff
The famous PINK haired lady running around JAX taking selfies with everyone from Mayor Lenny Curry to the individuals walking the streets of JAX. Most importantly, she is a talker. In her latest venture a podcast called, “Another Round with the Specktator and Chill Will,” it’s no telling what one may hear her discussing. You may even hear her break out in song in the middle of an interview.
and holds the world record for Fastest Time to Finish A 15K Race While Twirling a Baton, so she's got that going for her.
Who is The Specktator? Kerry Speckman is The Specktator. The “Another Round” is a weekly podcast co- Specktator is Kerry Speckman. She is a hosted by writer/blogger/social(media)ite human being residing in Jacksonville, Fla. Kerry Speckman (aka The Specktator) and DJ/producer Will Barker (aka Chill Will). Who in the heck is Kerry Speckman? Kerry is a writer, blogger and author of The Based in Jacksonville, Fla., “Another Round” Hooky Book (she’s not one for bragging but features unconventional interviews with local the book is currently ranked No. 7,169,714 on celebs—and anyone else to happens to wan- Amazon’s best sellers list—and slipping). der by their table. The podcasts are recorded She’s a contributor to WJCT’s First Coast at European Street Cafe in Riverside, Connect and Jacksonville Magazine. She’s meaning the co-hosts will—and guests, if an ordained minister and professional judge. they so choose—enjoy some adult beverages She’s a world record holder and dancing while recording. queen (with the mirror ball trophy to prove it). She’s a social(media)ite and Jacksonville’s This could either be the best idea in the world undisputed Queen of Selfies. … or the worst. Here is what some people say about Kerry “Another Round” episodes are recorded and her work: Tuesdays (times vary) and are uploaded for your listening pleasure Thursdays. “Twisted commentary.”—Folio Weekly “Fraggle Rock meets Sally Jesse Subscribe to “Another Round Podcast” on Raphael.”—her cousin Michael iTunes or SoundCloud and never miss an “… incorrigible, indomitable and episode … ’cause that would be a real, real outrageously pink.”—The Jax Beer Guy shame. “Shameless self-promoter.”—attorney L. Michael Maddox Personally, Kerry is the winner of Jacksonville's 2012 Dancing with the Stars, www.cityxtramagazine.com 10
The Specktator (Continued) By David W Vandygriff
“The mistress of mayhem. The maven of mirth.” —WJCT First Coast Connect host and producer Melissa Ross “The one who posts things”—former Jacksonville mayor Alvin Brown “I do not realize who you’re [sic] however definitely you’re going to a famous blogger for those who aren’t already. You are my inspiration.”—allowcarbdiet.blogspot.com In a nutshell, Kerry loves Jacksonville. And she started this website so everyone else can see the city through her eyes (while she’s wearing her totally awesome glasses, of course). We at cityXtra Magazine just love being around Kerry aka The Specktator. No matter your mood or life changing events happening, she can make you laugh and take a break from life. Her smile and ways of taking your mind to a different place. She is like a joint smoked in your high school days then the next hour spent laughing at nothing. She should be prescribed medication for all of JAX! Check her out at www.specktator.com
Obama: Stonewall Gay Monument By Josh Lederman
New York's iconic Stonewall Inn, where the modern gay rights movement took root, will become the first national monument honoring the history of gays and lesbians in the U.S. under a proposal President Barack Obama is preparing to approve. Designating the small swath of land will mark a major act of national recognition for gay rights advocates and their struggles over the last half-century. Since the 1969 uprising in Greenwich Village, the U.S. has enacted anti-discrimination protections, allowed gays and lesbians to serve openly in the U.S. military and legalized same-sex marriage nationwide. Though land must still be transferred to the federal government and other details worked out, the president is expected to move quickly to greenlight the monument following a public meeting Monday in Manhattan, according to two individuals familiar with the administration's plans. They weren't authorized to discuss the plans publicly and requested anonymity. The gritty tavern, known colloquially as the Stonewall, became a catalyst for the gay rights movement after police raided it on June 28, 1969. Bar-goers fought back, and many more joined in street protests over the following days in an uprising widely credited as the start of large-scale gay activism in New York and around the word. Annual pride parades in hundreds of cities commemorate the rebellion. The White House declined to comment. Yet Obama has paid tribute to the site before, most notably in his second inaugural address in 2013. In what's believed to be the first reference to gay rights in an inaugural address, Obama said the principle of equality still guides the U.S. "just as it guided our forebears through Seneca Falls, and Selma, and Stonewall." New York lawmakers have long advocated for a national designation for the Stonewall. Last year, New York City made it a city landmark — the first named primarily because of significance to LGBT history. In Congress, Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand and Rep. Jerrold Nadler — both
Democrats — are pushing legislation to make the Stonewall a national park while urging Obama to commemorate the site through executive authority. Nadler said the site would serve as "an important reminder of the struggle for equality in our country," including the ongoing fight for rights for transgender people. Proposals the Obama administration is considering include Christopher Park, a small public area on the street where the Stonewall is located, as well as the surrounding vicinity. At 51 Christopher St., where two adjoining buildings once housed the gay bar, the building where the current Stonewall Inn operates is still a popular gay gathering place. Originally built as stables in the 1840s, the structures still have the brick-andstucco facade that greeted bar-goers in 1969. A number of procedural steps stand between the Stonewall and formal designation by the president. The first step comes Monday evening at a public school in Manhattan, first reported by The Washington Post. The Interior Department said Interior Secretary Sally Jewell and National Park Service Director Jon Jarvis will attend an open meeting about proposals to "protect Christopher Park for future generations." Obama has made wide use of his power to designate monuments, not only to protect millions of acres of wilderness and ocean but also to honor groups whose struggles for equal treatment have become milestones in U.S. history. Last month, Obama named a historic Washington home as the Belmont-Paul Women's Equality National Monument. The Human Rights Campaign and other gay rights groups cheered the forthcoming announcement.
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Undercover Boss Hamburger Mary’s By David Vandygriff
“Hamburger Mary’s” – Identical twin brothers Ashley and Brandon Wright, co-owners of Hamburger Mary’s, a flamboyant franchise of LGBT-friendly restaurants that serve gourmet burgers and cocktails along with drag shows and nightly entertainment, each work undercover as the other watches via a live video feed, on UNDERCOVER BOSS,Sunday, May 15 (9:0010:00 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network. During their journey, Ashley learns first-hand if it’s a drag working as a dancer and Brandon is pushed to the limit while training with a money-hungry waitress. CBS stated, “The episode features Hamburger Mary’s co-owners and identical twin brothers,
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Ashley and Brandon Wright. This is one of the strongest episodes we’ve seen in a while and we’d like to share it with the LGBT Community.”
The Jacksonville, FL location will be part of the show. A viewing party is scheduled for 8:00pm May 15, 2016. For reservations contact (904) 551-2048.
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DOJ Files Lawsuit Against NC By Stephen Peters, HRC
Today, HRC and Equality NC responded to an announcement by Attorney General Loretta Lynch that the U.S. Department of Justice has filed a lawsuit against North Carolina Governor Pat McCrory, the state’s Department of Public Safety, and the University of North Carolina and Board of Governors of the University of North Carolina. The U.S. Department of Justice also requested the judge prohibit the state from enforcing HB2 in regards to discriminating against transgender people. “The U.S. Department of Justice has made clear that Governor McCrory’s HB2 is a discriminatory and dangerous piece of legislation that violates federal civil rights laws,” said HRC President Chad Griffin. “Rather than working with state lawmakers to fix the mess he’s created, Governor McCrory is instead choosing to waste even more time and millions more of taxpayer dollars trying to defend his indefensible attack on transgender people. We commend Attorney General Lynch and the Justice Department for taking action to enforce the rule of law and protect the civil rights of all North Carolinians.” "The lawsuit filed by Governor McCrory is another attempt to sidestep the inevitable need for a full repeal of HB2,” said Equality NC Executive Director Chris Sgro.“North Carolina's image, economy, and citizens are hurting because of the deeply discriminatory bill. Governor McCrory and the NCGA leadership are risking billions of dollars in federal funding to uphold a law that should have never been passed in the first place. We applaud Attorney General Loretta Lynch and the U.S. Department of Justice for standing up for North Carolinians when its own leadership has failed to do so.” The U.S. DOJ put Gov. McCrory & state officials on notice last week saying NC’s discriminatory HB2 violates federal civil rights law -- including Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and Title IX of the Education Amendments Act of
1972 -- and gave them until today to address the situation “by confirming that the State will not comply with or implement HB2.” In response, Gov. McCrory announced today that he is filing a lawsuit in an attempt to recklessly defend his discriminatory law. Senator Berger & Speaker Moore also filed a lawsuit. NC has already lost more than a half billion dollars - and counting - in economic activity just from companies canceling or reconsidering plans to come to the state, and in cancelled conventions, concerts, and other lost tourism dollars. That doesn’t even include potential economic development that now just won’t happen in NC because of McCrory’s radical law, or the potential catastrophic loss of federal funding for schools, roads, bridges, and other essential services. Nearly 200 leading CEOs and major business leaders have signed onto HRC and Equality NC’s open letter urging McCrory and the state’s General Assembly to repeal HB2. HB2 has eliminated existing municipal non-discrimination protections for LGBT people and prevents such protections from being passed by cities in the future. The legislation also forces transgender students in public schools to use restrooms and other facilities inconsistent with their gender identity, putting 4.5 billion dollars in federal education funding alone at risk. It also compels the same type of discrimination against transgender people to take place in publicly-owned buildings, including in public universities, convention centers, and airports. It also eliminated the ability of NCs to be able to sue if they experienced discrimination in the workforce, including on the basis of race, religion, national origin and sex.
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