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5 Heroic LGBT Veterans
Publisher/Executive Editor: David Vandygriff dvandygriff@cityxtramagazine.com
By David Vandygriff
UK Gay Men Blood Donations By Peter Walker
Editor In Chief: Harvey Carr editor@cityxtramagazine.com
80% Gay Black Men LGBT Racism
Creative Designer: Jason Smith designer@cityxtramagazine.com
By Jacob Smith
Sales Department: Adam Plante, Esq. aplante@cityxtramagazine.com
Managing Depression By Dr. Harvey Carr
cityXtra Magazine is published by cityXtra Inc . 2941 Plum Street Jacksonville, FL 32205 (904) 300-3320 www.cityxtramagazine.com Like us on Facebook/cityxtramag Twitter/cityxtra
DJ Drew G
By David Vandygriff
LGBT Parents
By Jennifer Graham
Contributing Writers
Facebook Etiquette 101 By Michael Massengill
Be Good To Yourself—B.G.T.Y. By David Vandygriff
Laura Riggs, Dr. Harvey Carr, Attorney Gordon Nicol, Meredith O’Malley Johnson, Tina Vaughn, Jake Moore, Tyler Curry Editor HIV Equal Online, Sebastian Fortino, David Vandygriff, Joey Amato Publisher Unite
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5 HEROIC LGBT VETERANS By David Vandygriff Happy Memorial Day. On Memorial Day we honor and remember military personnel who served their country, particularly those who died in battle or as a result of wounds sustained in battle. (Not to be confused with Veterans Day, which honors all soldiers who have served our country.) As with most things LGBT History the lack of is extremely evident from our text books to many other resources. It was no surprise when I started my research I was astonished to find such amazing works by past LGBT Veterans. Not amazed at that their work but amazed at finding the documentation.
Pontière, and their prized Italian greyhound, Azor. Steuben developed a model company of 120 men, who in turn trained others. As part of his technique, the Baron would don full military dress and upbraid the troops in French and German. (He eventually recruited a captain to curse at them in English.) The Baron was often described as “eccentric”and “flamboyant,” which was essentially Colonial-era lingo for “gay.” Despite this–or more likely, because of this–he still managed to become one of the great heroes of the Revolutionary War.
We as a community must begin to document and piece together our history and then require our history to be taught in schools. This will be our challenge for future decades. Now onto the most 5 amazing LGBT Veterans that deserve long overdue recognition.
Baron Frederick von Steuben: Though
Prussian by birth, Frederick von Steuben trained George Washington’s Colonial Army and was invaluable in helping them defeat the better equipped and trained British
troops. The Baron arrived in the Colonies in September 1777, with his young aide de camp, Louis de
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Thomas A. Dooley: While serving as a
physician in the U.S. Navy in the 1950s, Dooley, a celebrated doctor and humanitarian, was investigated by the Navy and forced to resign his commission. Despite being fired, he remained in Southeast Asia, tending to the forgotten victims of war and building hospitals through the Medical International Cooperation Organization. After he died of cancer at just 34, Dooley’s legacy was later enshrined by President John F. Kennedy, who cited the doctor’s example when he launched the Peace Corps. Dooley was also posthumously awarded a Congressional Gold Medal. He authored three popular books that described his activities in Vietnam and Laos: Deliver Us From Evil, The Edge of Tomorrow, and The Night They Burned the Mountain. These three were later collected into a single volume and published as
as Dr. Tom Dooley's Three Great Books. The book jacket of The Edge of Tomorrow states that Dooley traveled "to a remote part of the world in order to combat the two greatest evils afflicting it: disease and Communism".
Corporals Fannie Mae Clackum and Grace Garner: Though hardly the first people forced out Sargent of the military for being gay, Fannie Mae Clackum Leonard and Grace Garner, U.S. Air Force reservists in the Matlovich: late 1940s and early 1950s, were the first to successfully challenge their discharge. When the
Vietnam vet Sgt. Leonard Matlovich was the first gay man to disclose his sexual orientation in the military while serving in the U.S. Air Force. He was a recipient of the Purple Heart and Bronze Star. His photograph, along with the headline “I Am a Homosexual,� appeared on the cover of the two women were suspected of being lesbians, the September 8, 1975 edition of Time. In addition to Office of Special Investigations essentially being one of the first openly gay American entrapped the pair, giving the Air Force cause to soldiers, Matlovich was also the first to appear on issue dishonorable discharges to both in 1952. the cover of an American news magazine. "It But they refused to accept the discharges and marked the first time the young gay movement demanded their case be brought to a had made the cover of a major newsweekly. To a court-martial. Eight years later, the pair won their movement still struggling for legitimacy, the event suit: the courts vacated the discharge and was a major turning point." In October 2006, awarded them back pay. Theirs is the earliest Matlovich was honored by LGBT History Month as known case of the successful appeal of a a leader in the history of the LGBT community. discharge from the U.S. Armed Forces on grounds Matlovich's tombstone at the Congressional of homosexuality, though the case turned on due Cemetery, which reads: process claims, not homosexuality as the basis for "A Gay Vietnam Veteran their exclusion from military service. The couple When I was in the military, they gave me a lived together in Marietta, Georgia after discharge medal for killing two men and a discharge for from the United States Air Force. loving one."
UK Gay Men Blood Donations By Peter Walker The Government is expected to be told to make it considerably easier for gay men to donate blood in a dramatic winding down of the ban implemented amid the 1980s Aids epidemic. An advisory committee is understood to have decided that the current deferral period, in which men cannot give blood within 12 months of having sex with another man, should be reduced to three months. The change is in line with improved testing measures, which can establish whether someone has a blood infection, such as HIV, hepatitis B, hepatitis C or syphilis, inside three months.
donor, but it’s all about moving towards that model. Although we get that heterosexual people are statistically less likely to contract a blood infection, we can’t say every gay man is a high-risk individual. We need a policy that recognizes what is high risk without applying it to entire homogeneous groups. “In all credit to the Government, they have realized this is something that needs looking at.”
Gay rights activists, who want to get rid of the blanket deferral period entirely, have hailed the potential shift in policy as a major step towards a The move to reduce the deferral period is fair and equal system. supported by a working group of the Advisory Ethan Spibey, who founded Freedom to Donate Committee on the Safety of Blood, Tissues and after being turned away when trying to give Organs (SaBTO). An official report will be blood as a thank-you to the donor who saved his passed to SaBTO in the summer, which will then grandfather’s life, and who was an adviser on give its recommendation to the Department of the decision, said: “There is a consensus that Health in July. there will be a drastic reduction and it’s fantastic Gay and bisexual men were asked to stop giving to hear that. “Three months would be a world-leading policy. Eventually we want a blood blood in 1983, in the throes of panic surrounding a surge in HIV infections in the gay community, donation policy that I s fair and tailored to each
80% GAY BLACK MEN LGBT RACISM By Jacob Smith
80 percent of black gay men say they have experienced racism in the gay community, according to a survey by gay men’s charity GMFA. The charity’s publication FS Magazine surveyed over 850 black and minority ethnic (BME) men who also identify as gay. The results were shocking – with more than two-thirds of BME men experiencing racism on the gay scene – climbing to 80 percent among men who identified as black. The survey found that 80% of Black men, 79% of Asian men, 75% of South Asian men, and 64% of mixed race men have personally experienced racism on the gay scene. 47-year-old Wayne recounted one incident, telling the magazine: “The only approach I’ve had at a gay bar was when I was asked if I supplied drugs. “Terrible behavior that was not only insulting, but humiliating, since I thought the approach made was due to a romantic intent.”
GMFA’s Matthew Hodson said: “There are significantly higher rates of suicide, self-harm and mental ill health among Black gay and bisexual men. Of course you can’t just say this is purely the result of sexual stereotyping or experiencing racism on the gay scene, but it is clear that there is a major health challenge here which needs to be addressed.
We also see higher rates of HIV among Black gay and bisexual men, despite data which suggests 46-year-old Londoner Sarwar added: “I have been that there isn’t much difference in risk behavior or made to feel excluded in gay bars where bar staff HIV knowledge between Black gay men and white ignored me, or doormen asking if I got their order gay men. It comes down to treating each other for takeaway. “A drag queen selected me to with respect. humiliate in public, by saying I should cover my beard or the crowd will get nervous. “Gay I don’t know that the gay community is any more publications do not promote LGBTQ men of color, racist than any other section of society, but it’s only Black/mixed-race men. There is a diversity of clear that there are some people on the scene men of color that gay publications fail to highlight.” Men also reported experiencing frequent racist abuse on Grindr and other hook-up apps. Author Vernal Scott told the magazine: “I experience crap from both angles. I can’t say one hurts less than the other if you find yourself racially profiled on one hand, and then made to feel like an outcast in a gay club – or trying to get into one! But life must go on. “We have to learn to feel good about ourselves on the inside, despite external challenges. We have no choice but to stand on our own two feet.”
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MANAGING DEPRESSION By Dr. Harvey Carr Everyone gets down from time to time, but depression is more than feeling unhappy or a little fed up. It can be a long-term debilitating health condition that drives sufferers to despair. Sometimes it can go hand in hand with periods of mania, such as Bipolar Disorder, accompany certain life events like childbirth or following the death of a loved one, or be a recurring, persistent clinical condition on its own.
Studies have found that LGBTI people are more likely to suffer from depression than their straight peers – often because they have experienced prejudice, trauma or been made to feel less worthy.
to clear it of persistent, negative thoughts, can help manage depressive moods. You don’t have to join a meditation class. There are hundreds of guided meditation aids online (YouTube, Spotify, Soundcloud), as well as apps that can offer daily meditations.
5. Take care of your hygiene: When feeling depressed, it can be easy to neglect yourself. Not Below are 11 tips I have discovered in my journey washing or showering for prolonged periods will of overcoming depressing situations. None alone do nothing to lift your mood. Take the time to are likely to cure or dispel it, but they might help wash, groom and put on clean clothing, even if you cope or manage with it. you’re not planning on leaving home. Little acts of pampering one’s self can help boost mood and 1. Get good rest Your body needs adequate make you feel better about yourself. sleep. Too little sleep will only make you feel lethargic, grouchy and unmotivated, while too 6. Spend time with friends: Meet up with a friend much can also become a problem. Try to get your or friends: people who will listen without judgment body into a regular sleep pattern if possible – and give you space to talk. Avoid pessimistic getting to bed at a decent hour and rising at a set people who will just drain your energy. Planning a time. trip with a friend, or to visit friends that you’ve not seen in a while, can give you something to look 2. Exercise: Physical exercise is known to improve mood, and maintaining fitness can also help forward towards. combat feelings of depression. It doesn’t have to 7. Get some peer support: There are many be an intense workout at the gym – swimming or sources of support. You could join some sort of just walking are great for getting your heart therapy self-help group, like an LGBT support beating faster. Yoga or other stretching exercises group, bereavement group or substance abuse can also help. Why not try something new or try group. There are hundreds of self-help books something in a new location? covering a wide range of topics. Online forums also allow people to share their stories. 3. Eat or prepare healthy meals: Like a lack of exercise, if you eat nothing but junk, your physical Counselors and psychotherapist are a valuable source of support, but getting immediate support health will suffer. Your body needs a range of can be as simple as picking up the phone – check nutrients and vitamins, so try to eat a varied diet. out local LGBTI helplines, especially if you’re The simple act of preparing yourself a tasty, nutritious meal – or treating yourself to something feeling at crisis point. healthy at a restaurant if you can’t face cooking, is 8. Talk to your doctor: If depression is consistent a way of looking after yourself. or recurring, talk to your doctor or another health professional. They will be able to discuss coping 4. Meditate: Taking time to subdue your mind, or
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MANAGING DEPRESSION Continued
mechanisms or treatment options, which may include medication, counseling or referral to another specialist. 9. Avoid self-medicating with alcohol and nonprescription drugs: Self-medicating can be very tempting. It’s unlikely to help in the long-run, and can easily become a crutch that you turn to again and again – potentially risking your health in other ways. Most illegal drugs are accompanied by some sort of comedown, leaving you feeling worse. Be cautious in using any non-regulated drugs, or alcohol, to make yourself feel better. 10. Be kind to yourself: We can sometimes beat ourselves up due to our perceived failings: we’re not richer, better-looking, successful, famous, or whatever. Remind yourself that none of us achieve all our goals, so try not to beat yourself up. Set yourself smaller goals that are more easily achievable. You can set bigger goals at a later date or keep taking smaller steps in the direction you want to heading. 11. Make a list of things that lift your mood Feel depression approaching? Having some tactics to fall back upon can help keep low moods at bay. Maybe there are ways to treat yourself that always make you feel better, or friends you know you can call upon to cheer you up. Perhaps it helps to have something to look forward to: a holiday or concert to attend. Planning a new experience can help break feelings of monotony and can bring a sense of achievement. Make a list of things that you know can help, and keep it handy.
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DJ DREW G—INTERNATIONAL DJ & PRODUCER By David W Vandygrifff DJ Drew G (born Andrew G. Montalvo) is an American -born DJ and music producer in San Diego.
There are few sounds on the DJ circuit today as fresh and innovative as those of DrewG and his Dirty Pop brand. Based in San Diego, but constantly being heard out on the road, this prolific DJ and music producer continues to push dance floors to the limit in clubs both in the U.S. and abroad.
DrewG’s trademark “Dirty Pop” brand and production team (with fellow producer Brian Cua) International falls under the distinct umbrella of SoCal House DJ/Producer/ — a blend of house, circuit, and EDM… all DJ Times & accompanied by the hottest vocals from the Billboard biggest names in music. The Dirty Pop brand also Magazine encompasses the No. 1 traveling dance party in Reporter— the U.S., as well as the Dirty Pop apparel line. Best Unofficial Sonic boundaries mean nothing to DrewG – he Remixer – breaks them week in and week out — thriving on Dirrty Remix- the unexpected and never ceasing to surprise. A es, 2014— Dirty Pop live set is infused with relentless energy. Best DJ Weho Confidential (West Hollywood, LA) Hard kicks and dark electro drops — set to both -- 2013 Coors Light Coldest DJ (LA) -- 2012 Out new vocals and classics — are common Magazine Top 10 DJs—2012 Best Las Vegas DJ, trademarks. DrewG flows in and out of tracks Sin City Times—2011 People Choice Award DJ – flawlessly and fans never see what might be Tom Whitman Presents (LA) coming. DJ DrewG, is “one of the most sought-after talents on the dance music scene”, according to Edge Magazine.,[1] and his Dirty Pop brand is no stranger to the top of the Billboard Club charts.
From a young age Drew felt a connection to music. During his adolescence, Drew learned to play guitar and performed with various metal bands. By the age of 18, he had already released five albums and produced several others for local bands. By 2000, Drew was drawn to the New York City house music scene. Inspired by the DJ masters he experienced, he began to mix his own tracks featuring house music and his own guitar work. 16 www.cityxtramagazine.com
DrewG’s production work is no stranger to the top of the Billboard Club Charts. Drew and Brian together have procured official remixes for some of the hottest music artists in the world, including Lady Gaga, Whitney Houston, Ke$ha, Britney Spears, Deborah Cox, and Mary J. Blige… just to name a few. 2014 and 2015 were particular banner years for Dirty Pop's production work. Two of the biggest artists in the world — Beyoncé ("Blow," "Pretty Hurts," "Drunk In Love") and Madonna ("Living For Love," "Ghosttown") — personally selected DrewG and Brian to be official remixers of their latest hit singles. These productions are currently
being used by DJs in clubs around the globe. More commissioned remixes from these artists are already cued up for the rest of 2015. Even Tiësto — one of the biggest DJs on the planet — has used Dirty Pop's remixes in his live sets. Amongst the numerous events around the globe that DrewG has played are New York City’s famous Black Party (as the youngest DJ ever to play the event, which he’s now done three times), numerous Cherry weekend events in Washington, DC, a 2008 Presidential Inaugural ball for President Barack Obama, Carnival in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, Ski Weeks in Aspen, Colorado, Mammoth Lakes [Elevation], the Pink Party in Denver, CO, several of Jason Harrigan’s Mardi Gras events in Sydney, Australia, Dunes Resort events in Saugatuck, Michigan, Ascension weekend at Fire Island Pines, and Sand Blast in Asbury Park, New Jersey. Dirty Pop is a true extension of DrewG's artistic self. When challenges are thrown at him, he channels them into his music. A true craftsman, DrewG strives to constantly create. Through beats and melodies, he expresses his perspective on the world through music.
The next chapter of Drew’s career holds exciting promise. As he continues to tour, he strives to keep his legion of supporters satisfied. After all, with Dirty Pop you never know what you might hear or experience next. Visit www.DJDrewG.com for upcoming schedule. DJ Drew G is a Special Guest DJ at the Metro Entertainment Complex, along with other Dirty Pop DJ’s. www.MetroJax.com
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LGBT PARENTS By Jennifer Graham
Millions of children in the United States have lesbian, gay, bisexual and/or transgender (LGBT) parents. Some children of LGBT parents were conceived in heterosexual marriages or relationships. An increasing number of LGBT parents have conceived children and/or raised them from birth, either as single parents or in ongoing committed relationships. This can occur through adoption, alternative insemination, surrogate or foster parenting. A small number of states currently have laws supportive of LGBT couple adoption. What effect does having LGBT parents have on children? Sometimes people are concerned that children being raised by a gay parent will need extra emotional support or face unique social stressors. Current research shows that children with gay and lesbian parents do not differ from children with heterosexual parents in their emotional development or in their relationships with peers and adults. It is important for parents to understand that it is the quality of the parent/ child relationship and not the parent’s sexual orientation that has an effect on a child’s development. Research has shown that in contrast to common beliefs, children of lesbian, gay, or transgender parents:
Are not more likely to be gay than children with heterosexual parents. Are not more likely to be sexually abused. Do not show differences in whether they think of themselves as male or female (gender identity). Do not show differences in their male and female behaviors (gender role behavior).
and children may be teased or bullied by peers. Parents can help their children cope with these pressures in the following ways:
Prepare your child to handle questions and comments about their background or family. Allow for open communication and discussions that are appropriate to your child’s age and level of maturity. Help your child come up with and practice appropriate responses to teasing or mean remarks. Use books, Web sites and movies that show children in LGBT families. Consider having a support network for your child (For example, having your child meet other children with gay parents.) Consider living in a community where diversity is more accepted.
Like all children, most children with LGBT parents will have both good and bad times. They are not more likely than children of heterosexual parents to develop emotional or behavioral problems. If LGBT parents have questions or concerns about their child, they should consider a consultation with a qualified mental health professional.
Raising children in a LGBT household Although research shows that children with gay and lesbian parents are as well-adjusted as children with heterosexual parents, they can face some additional challenges. Some LGBT families face discrimination in their communities
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FACEBOOK ETIQUETTE 101 By Michael Massengill
What's okay on Facebook? On sites like MySpace, anything goes (or seems to), but the rules of etiquette on Facebook seem to be a little more refined--not a lot, mind you, but a little. Keep these tips in mind, whether you're making your first friend or your 1000th. your friends may be too busy to respond Who should you friend? Some people adopt an immediately, especially during business hours. everyone-welcome policy on Facebook and accept all friend requests; some only want real-world contacts in their friends list. In deciding on the right approach for you, bear in mind that the bigger your friend network is, the more application, event, chat session, and cause invitations you'll receive--and that can lead to some uncomfortable moments and the occasional friend purge.
No pokes. If you are over the age of 16, don't "poke" people--seriously.
Easy on the updates. As on Twitter, oversharing on Facebook can be a problem. Every meal eaten, every TV show experienced, and every weather condition observed need not be the subject of a status update. Ask yourself whether anyone is likely to care about your comment before you start typing.
Tag lightly. The same thing goes for tagging: The people in a picture might not object to its being online as long as their names are not associated with it.
Beware of embarrassing photos. Resist the temptation to post every last photo from your birthday party on Facebook, particularly images that may cast your guests in an unflattering light. If you have any doubt, ask the subjects of any iffy pics in advance whether they'd mind your posting the shots; then abide by their wishes.
Ignore away. You are under no obligation to acknowledge a Facebook friend request, whether it comes from a stranger or from someone you "Now, choose 12 friends..." It's fine if you want know but don't want as part of your digital life. to take a "Which serial killer are you?" quiz. When After all, you wouldn't be obliged to seat visitors at you complete all of the multiple-choice questions, your dinner table if they showed up without however, you'll almost certainly be asked to invite warning at your house at 7 o'clock. (One a dozen or so people to take the quiz, too; there's alternative way of dealing with this situation is to no need for this unless you think they'll really add iffy contacts to a severely restricted limited enjoy it. Look for a 'Skip this step' or 'Continue to profile list.) On the flipside, if you want to friend a result' button (in tiny type) somewhere on the stranger (for whatever reason), add a note of page, click it, and you won't have to send explanation to your friend request, explaining who invitations to anyone as a precondition to getting you are and the reason for your request. your quiz results. Clicking the 'Skip' button on the following screen will prevent the quiz from showing up on your wall or being shared on your friends' walls. Limit Facebook chat. Just because someone has a Facebook window open doesn't mean they're automatically available for a chat session. Facebook Chat is like any other instant messaging platform--use it appropriately, and recognize that
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BE GOOD TO YOURSELF—B.G.T.Y. By David Vandygriff
Be good to yourself. Do things that you inspire you daily. Make a list. Grab your iPad or your notepad or even your hand and draw up a list of things you can do today to make you feel good. Keep adding to the list. Forgive yourself if you skip a couple and love yourself no matter how long or short the list is and how much you accomplish on shouldn’t she? What a revelation! What a it. revolution of the mind. Be good to yourself. You will train other people to do the same. My list involves a lot of laughing. My “Feel Good” list also has: my yoga practice, take a bubble bath And guess what? If they aren’t good to you, you daily, writing, a long leisurely dinner with friends, will still have your old standby who is always good having a great glass of wine, staying up all night to you: YOU. Pretty much what matters most at reading a book I cannot put down, being with kids the end of the day. You being good to you. The who have special needs and teaching them they rest will follow. are amazing, poetry, Modern Family, skyping with my nephews, and the list goes on. My most recent Remember the 90’s En Vogue song, with the goal added to the list is yoga. lyrics “Free your mind, the rest will follow”? It will. So get up and dance. Do something every single day that makes you feel good, whether it is changing your thought patterns or taking a bath while reading a magazine in the tub. Maybe it’s getting an extra hour of sleep or staying up late and watching Pretty Woman for the 50th time. Pleasure and joy are highly underrated and beating ourselves, up highly overrated. Flip it! Cultivate the opposite. Once a teacher once said that if you fall, you must laugh and take down your neighbor, which cultivates a sense of humor, and hopefully a little joy. You need at least a little joy daily. Sprinkle it on your cereal, slip it in your downward facing dog, add it to your pinot noir. Accept that you are indeed the source of many wonderful things. If you need help remembering what they are from time to time, keep making your feel good lists. Keep coming back to the love that is inherently yours. It is your birthright. And so it is. Whatever it takes. Just do it. A friend told me after she returned from my July Ojai retreat that she wanted to live her life every day as if she was still on the retreat. And why