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Pumpkin Spice Pull-Apart Bread
Publisher/Executive Editor: David Vandygriff dvandygriff@cityxtramagazine.com
By James Smith
The LGBT Thanksgiving By David Artavia
Editor In Chief: Harvey Carr editor@cityxtramagazine.com
Thanksgiving’s Gay Secrets
Creative Designer: Jason Smith designer@cityxtramagazine.com
By David Vandygriff
Sales Department: Adam Plante, Esq. aplante@cityxtramagazine.com
The Gay Holiday Guide to Straight People By David Vandygriff
Clean Water & HIV Treatment By Alex Kopel
Navigating Relationship Age Gaps By Michael Jensen
cityXtra Magazine is published by cityXtra Inc . 2941 Plum Street Jacksonville, FL 32205 (904) 300-3320 www.cityxtramagazine.com Like us on Facebook/cityxtramag Twitter/cityxtra
Contributing Writers
2016 NE Florida AIDS Week By Justin Bell
Last-Minute Gay Christmas By Lisa Holt
Laura Riggs, Dr. Harvey Carr, Attorney Gordon Nicol, Meredith O’Malley Johnson, Tina Vaughn, Jake Moore, Tyler Curry Editor HIV Equal Online, Sebastian Fortino, David Vandygriff, Joey Amato Publisher Unite Magazine
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Pumpkin Spice Pull-Apart Bread Pull-Apart Bread 1 tube Pillsbury Grands Biscuits 1 c. sugar 1 1/2 tsp. pumpkin pie spice 1 c. pumpkin purée 1/2 tsp. vanilla extract Cream Cheese Frosting 1/2 (4-oz.) pkg. cream cheese, softened 1/2 c. powdered sugar 1/2 tsp. vanilla extract 1/4 tsp. pumpkin pie spice 1/4 c. milk Directions: *Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease the bottom and sides of a loaf pan. *Make the pull-apart bread: Cut biscuits in half, like you’re making a biscuit sandwich (or pulling apart those flaky layers while it’s still dough). *Pour sugar and 1 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice into a gallon-sized plastic bag, shaking to combine. Drop the biscuit slices 2 to 3 at a time into the bag, sealing and shaking it to coat the biscuits, until all are covered. Set biscuits aside. *In a medium-sized mixing bowl, combine pumpkin puree, 1/2 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice, and
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vanilla extract. Use a butter knife to slather one biscuit. Top with another biscuit. Cover the top of that biscuit with the pumpkin mixture, and repeat the process until you’ve created a towering stack of the biscuits, almost like a massive sandwich or layer cake. (This may be easiest to break into two stacks of biscuits—otherwise they might topple.) *Place the biscuit stack in the loaf pan on its side so you see the layers of pumpkin filling. (It should look like Oreos when you pull them out of the package.) Bake in the oven until the biscuits have puffed up and turned lightly golden on top, 35 to 40 minutes. *Make the cream cheese frosting: Use an electric mixer to beat the cream cheese until light and fluffy. Add powdered sugar, vanilla extract, and pumpkin pie spice, mixing on low until combined. Gradually add milk, mixing until it’s a pourable consistency. Pour on top of warm pull-apart bread and serve.
The LGBT Thanksgiving By David Artavia
Finally it’s Thanksgiving again. It’s my favorite holiday. It really is special to the LGBT community as well. Back in the day, Thanksgiving meant a tense dinner with one’s extended biological family that may or may not have been aware of the gay at the table. And, if they “knew,” they probably were not especially embracing and reminded you not to bring what’s-his (or her)-name. The only solace was the knowledge that all of your LGBT friends were enduring the same awkward charade. The preferable option was a relaxed and joyous celebration among other gays. The more likely to be an iconic Norman Rockwell occasion was the latter. Speaking of which, as a kid and budding photographer I recall a Thanksgiving at my aunt and uncle’s. I took a picture of the perfectly browned turkey on a carving platter as my uncle set it on the table in homage to that Rockwell ideal. Things would go well enough until someone’s smart, off-the-cuff comment set off the powder keg. I also recall a Thanksgiving at a friend’s whose mother obsessively cooked turkey, ham, roast beef with Yorkshire pudding, more sides than one could count and half a dozen pies for dessert. Meanwhile, in the basement, his father worked his way through a pitcher of Manhattans. I cooked for a trio of gay friends when I first settled in Dallas. It was one of my best
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Thanksgivings. My farmer friend was given the honored task of carving the turkey since he was the tough guy who slaughtered his own pigs. He managed to drop the knife and it stuck into the hardwood floor, just missing his bare foot. That moment of near horror turned into a round of laughter and another round of drinks. Dinner went on without further mishap. Our community, our Diaspora of LGBT refugees, has established a certain fellowship. We share our diverse histories, coming together in our own melting pot. A familial bond has evolved around the ritual setting of tables and the inevitable conversation about food and Thanksgivings past. In the enthusiasm of the telling, even auntie’s mini marshmallow-topped sweet potato casserole sounds sumptuous and delicious. And I’ll recount the scene of me in my mother’s kitchen tearing up slices of slightly stale bread for her amazing Italian sausage-and-sage stuffing. We all have our gravy-stained cookbooks, heirloom recipes typed on yellowed file cards or scrawled on the backs of envelopes that we bring to the table. That, and our own acceptance of who we are, make our holiday memorable.
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Thanksgiving’s Gay Secrets By David Vandygriff
Each year we gather together with our families (blood or created) and give thanks for the good things in our lives (and perhaps for the bad things that aren’t in our lives). The day centers around food, football, and for many, gearing up for an intense day of shopping America is a mix of Native on Friday but we here at cityXtra Magazine & American autumnal celebratory traditions and traJaxGay.com thought we’d do a little digging to ditions brought to the New World by colonists. The uncover the gayer side of Thanksgiving. NorthEast Two-Spirit Society notes that there are From gay Pilgrims to a beloved drag queen roughly 400 indigenous Nations in the United creating a pumpkin dessert, these are the things States and 155 of those Nations have that they didn’t teach you about in grade school "documented multiple gender traditions" including (or on Martha Stewart’s Thanksgiving special). those who are "Two Spirit," or individuals whose Pilgrims Party In P-Town: While many people spirits "are a blending of male and female." think that the Pilgrims landed in Plymouth, Massa- Harland Pruden and Melissa Hoskins, Co-Chairs chusetts, they actually arrived in one of the gayest of NE2SS, write: "The Two Spirits' mere existence towns in the world -- Provincetown. The Pilgrims threatened the colonizers' core beliefs; the came to Provincetown in 1620 and spent five backlash was violent. Sketches, housed at the weeks there, during which time they created and New York City public library, depict Two Spirit signed the Mayflower Compact. There's no word people being attacked by colonizers' dogs." on whether they had time for tea dances or hanky Gay Turkeys: Homosexuality has been panky under the docks, but we sure hope so! observed in many as many as 1,500 species -Gay Pilgrims: The first Thanksgiving at Plym- including turkeys. outh Point in 1621 may have been attended by An Awkward Thanksgiving: Going home for gay Pilgrims. According to Boston.com, in 1637 Thanksgiving? The Gay & Lesbian Alliance two men at Plymouth faced execution because Against Defamation (GLAAD) wants you to they were "convicted of what the law books said consider their hilarious (and delightful) new was a grave moral crime" -- being in a gay rela- campaign, "I'm Letting Aunt Betty Feel Awkward tionship. Richard Pickering, deputy director of This Thanksgiving." GLAAD writes: "The LGBT Plimoth Plantation, the living museum of Colonial community has a ton to be thankful for from the and Native American history, notes gays and les- past year. But we also have a long way to go. And bians "did not have the opportunity to pursue the believe it or not, putting down that forkful of kind of lives and identities that modern social stuffing for a minute and just talking about yourself structures allow." Though the maximum penalty (if you can) this Thanksgiving can make a huge for homosexuality was death, neither men were difference. We've all had those Thanksgiving killed. Pickering says that Alexander, who was dinners where Aunt Betty decides this is the labeled the seducer and "therefore was perfect time to discuss a year's worth of ailments considered more responsible," was branded with and medical treatments. Well, you know what? If a hot iron and banished from the colony. Roberts she can talk about her podiatrist, you can talk was allowed to stay but he could not own land or about your partner. The fact is, while you're be actively involved in politics. scarfing down mashed potatoes and staying silent while everyone else at the table is freely speaking Native Americans And The Two-Spirit their minds, you're missing a golden opportunity to Tradition: Thanksgiving in present day www.cityxtramagazine.com 10
Thanksgiving’s Gay Secrets (Continued) to make real, honest progress by talking about your life, and the things you care about. It's okay if Aunt Betty feels a little awkward at first, it's important for her to know that someone she loves cares deeply about LGBT equality. And the more we all talk about what's important to us, the less awkward those conversations will become. Today some LGBT people can't be open about who they are. But if you do feel comfortable, speaking openly and honestly about your life with your loved ones is one of the best ways for all of us to move forward together."
"Cooking With Drag Queens,� Pandora Boxx, one of our favorite "RuPaul's Drag Race" contestants and, joins Daphne Dumount and Saltina Obama Bouvier to whip up a delicious pumpkin flan for the holidays.
The NFL Gets Gayer: For many Americans there's nothing like a good game of football to finish off a Thanksgiving afternoon. And thanks to a change to the National Football League's Collective Bargaining Agreement, it has given us the ability of seeing gay football players (or at least the groundwork has been laid for the Thanksgiving's Unofficial Fruit: Fresh or possibility). The Agreement was altered to fresh out of the can with those weird indentations include "sexual orientation" in the still intact -- no table is complete without non-discrimination clause which now reads: cranberries during the holidays. And seeing as Section 1. No Discrimination: There will be no cranberries are Thanksgiving's unofficial fruit -discrimination in any form against any player by we began to wonder about other fruit, including the Management Council, any Club or by the the word itself and how it became equated with NFLPA because of race, religion, national origin, gay men. The term first became used to refer to sexual orientation, or activity or lack of activity on gay men in 1935, and some believe it was due to behalf of the NFLPA. the word's prior association with "a girl or woman Lady Gaga Cooks Deep-Fried Turkey: What's willing to oblige." Gay men have long been gayer than Lady Gaga? Lady Gaga whips up connected to slang that serves to emasculate some deep-fried turkey with gay chef Art Smith them and "fruit" most likely falls into that for a Thanksgiving. category. Pandora Boxx Whips Up Pumpkin Flan: In
The Big Gay Holiday Guide to Straight People This morning, a thin veil of snow fell gently in the Northeast and Midwest. While everyone was enjoying the splendor and beauty that signals a beautiful winter season, I was reminded that- SHIT! It’s already the fucking holiday season. Pack up the cobwebs and pull out the tinsel, because we are heading into family-palooza. Comment #1: “I totally think gays should TOTALLY be allowed to get married.” To help you navigate awkward family functions, this time last year I wrote a blog post called, “A Straight Gal’s Guide to Lesbians.” It is an informative and helpful guide about the myriad of misconceptions about the LGBTQ community. In the last year, I’ve hit some roadbumps on the path to enlightenment concerning some of my favorite breeders (yes, I know you hate that word, and no I won’t stop using it.) There is so much knowledge and humor and insight and cat pictures on the internet, I thought I would sum up some of the most bizarre questions and comments you will receive as part of the LGBTQ community and share some optimal responses so that you can maintain healthy relationships with ignorant jerks (A.K.A. your family). And let me tell you… these questions get SO much more awkward when the conversation is started over turkey, stuffing, and a boatload of merlot. To help navigate through these tricky arenas, I have posted cat pictures that coincide with the answers so you can understand them, even if you aren’t in the mood for reading. First of all, if you are recently out of the closet, huzzah! Good for you. Now, get ready to deal with this shit for the rest of your life. Your first holiday will be the toughest. It’s not all bad… you get to have sex with whoever you want. So that’s cool. (Warning: if you bring home an asshole of a life partner, your family has every right to give you shit. That has nothing to do with being gay… you just need to find someone who treats you better and doesn’t make KKK jokes at the dinner table.) Whether these questions come from an airline stewardess or your crazy Christian Aunt, be prepped for optimal responses so that you aren’t caught with your pants down and a dick in your mouth this holiday season. www.cityxtramagazine.com 12
The proper response: “Wow, thanks, yea, equality is cool. Could you pass the wine?” The response I would most likely give: “Well, that’s dynamite that you think so. But frankly, with all the complications between federal and state benefits, even if I could get married in this state, I probably wouldn’t until the kinks in the system are worked out. And if it was beneficial for my taxes. But I guess it would be cool to have the option. GObama! How’s your uterus feeling? Oh, is that too personal? Sorry. I thought we were on the same level.” Comment #2: “Why are there all those letters? What do they even stand for?” The proper response: Google it, dumbass. The response I have given in the past and will continue to give: “Well, the official acronym is LGBTQIA. But I’m sure you don’t have time for all those pesky letters. You see, our community fought really hard for all those letters to be included, especially the T. T stands for transgender. NOT TRANNY. You relax and have another cocktail, we wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself with too much ‘out of the box crazy liberal thinking.’ LGBTQ isn’t that hard. Q is for Queer. And C is for- well, I’m sure you can figure that one out.” Comment #3: Is your girlfriend a man or a woman? The proper response: You answered your own question. My response: Sorry I spilled my red wine on your winter white dress. I was distracted by how incredibly rude you were.
The Big Gay Holiday Guide to Straight People Continued Comment #4: I might be bi. Where can I meet people who would be into me? The improper response: A gay bar. I’m not the bi whisperer. Ask Jeeves. My response: It’s 2013. As long as you go to a bar with some windows, a low number of ‘Nam vets, and there’s no confederate flag bumper stickers in sight, you should be okay. Gays are like VISA, we are everywhere you want to be. JUST LOOK AROUND. Comment #5: “You’re gay? That’s hot.” The proper response: “Gross.” My response: “Fucking gross.” These questions will come up inevitably, and if your family is anything like mine, you may also enjoy some pro-Catholic anti-abortion pamphlets set on your placemats at the dinner table. (LUCKY ME.) Just handle the events with grace, and use all that pent up energy on some crazy gay sex when you get home. Remember… it’s tacky to fuck at your mom’s house. Fuck in the bathroom at a gay bar. Come on. Keep it a little classy. Hang in there, and keep these tips close by. The traumatic events of today are nothing compared to the shitty things that people will ask you when you plan your gay wedding. Like… “Who’s the dude in your relationship?” NO ONE. WE ARE TWO GIRLS. Ya weirdo. Brooke Cartus is a chapstick lesbian living in Columbus, Ohio. Besides anonymously sending thin women cheese steak sandwiches at 3am, Brooke is in law school at the Ohio State University. To hear about the latest in LGBT news, diet tips, and fashion trends involving cargo shorts, check out her blog, Size L for Lady.
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How Clean Water Access Lends to HIV Treatment Adherence Although HIV is not a waterborne disease, the issues between clean water and HIV are much more closely linked than one might think. Many of the opportunistic infections that kill people living with HIV/AIDS are transmitted through contaminated water and unsanitary living conditions. Worldwide, more than 34 million people are living with HIV and AIDS and many of them live in regions where they lack access to adequate water, sanitation and hygiene (also known as WASH).
their babies to HIV. The spread of HIV could therefore be prevented if mothers had a reliable source of safe water and infant formula for their children.
Many groups have realized the importance of providing access to a safe, reliable and sufficient Many studies, including a study published in water supply and basic sanitation to PLHIV and February, concluded that access to safe drinking their caretakers. Studies have shown that by water can decrease adverse health outcomes and putting water and sanitation services located in improve the quality of life for HIV-affected close proximity to HIV-affected households can individuals. reduce the burden of caregiving and allow more time for caregivers to take on other activities, WASH is linked to some of the leading causes of including school and work. morbidity and mortality among people living with HIV (PLHIV). In North America, 50 percent of “Neither international organizations nor PLHIV, and up to 100 percent of PLHIV in some country governments have looked closely at the regions of the developing world, suffer from implications and potential contributions of the diarrheal disease, often caused by poor sanitation. water sector in combating the disease, and a Diarrheal disease is particularly dangerous for PLHIV because it can lead to an increased viral load, which can then increase disease progression. In addition, PLHIV in unhygienic conditions can suffer from a condition called enteropathy, which hinders proper absorption of antiretroviral medicines and makes them less effective, in some cases leading to drug resistance. Antiretroviral drugs rely on adequate food and at least 1.5 liters of safe drinking water a day to be effective. PLHIV need more than average amounts of clean water for day-to-day living. A study in Ngamiland, Botswana found that caregivers with HIV patients suffering from diarrheal disease needed an average of 20 liters more water per day to wash soiled clothes and sheets as well as sterilize contaminated areas. Due to lack of access to safe water for preparing infant formula, many HIV-positive women are forced to breastfeed even though this exposes www.cityxtramagazine.com 14
remarkably small amount of academic research has been done on the subject,” according to Dr. Kate Tulenko, a public health specialist of the Water and Sanitation Program.
“It is necessary for the global HIV/AIDS community to work with the global water community to develop a consensus list of prioritized research needed on water and sanitation and HIV/AIDS,” said Tulenko. “With combined efforts of the AIDS and water communities, WASH services can be offered to people living with HIV/AIDS to improve their health, relieve the care giving burden, preserve human dignity, and fulfill the call for every sector to participate in the fight against HIV/AIDS.”
WASH and HIV organizations and government programs can work together to provide accurate information for PLHIV, helping reduce stigma by dispelling misinformation, such as the belief that HIV can be spread by sharing a toilet.
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Navigating Relationship Age Gaps By Michael Jensen
Among LGBT couples, it’s pretty common to see a significant relationship age gaps: according to a 2013 survey, LGBT respondents were both more likely to be attracted to people 10 years older than them, and more likely to attract partners more than ten years younger. Dealing with Negatives of a Relationship Age Gap Benefitting From a Relationship Age Gap There are many reasons an relationship age gaps Having a significant relationship age gaps can also present a couple with some unique might be more common for LGBT couples than obstacles, however. There can be moments of straight couples, and many benefits for couples frustration and disconnect in any relationship, and who don’t mind an age gap. Older LGBT people age gaps can worsen these issues and add can feel more in touch with younger members of the LGBT community, while the younger person in several other elements into the equation: such a relationship may be able to learn from the experiences and background of someone who has several years of experience in relationships: Excitement: For many people, having relationship age gaps can be exciting, whether it’s because a younger partner makes them more active and adventurous, or because having an older partner can shift their view of the world. Experience: A younger person can also benefit from an older partner’s experience, since an older partner is likely to have dealt with many of the same obstacles in their lifetime. Conversely, a younger LGBT person can introduce an older partner to events and opportunities in an LGBT community that’s much larger than the one they know.
Emotional maturity: One potential source of friction in a relationship with an age gap is differing levels of emotional maturity. Navigating an relationship age gaps can often mean dealing with very different expectations of each partner’s role and contributions, and cause arguments if one person is emotionally immature. Societal expectations: For many people, this is the biggest issue that comes along with an age gap in their relationships, and it seems like gay and bisexual men experience harsher judgment than lesbians or bisexual women: older men with younger partners are often viewed negatively or disparaged.
Financial gaps: Even though financial stability can be a benefit in some cases, it can also cause Stability: Generally, people become more strain, especially if one person in the relationship emotionally and financially stable as they get has more money and more power within the older. This stability can have a very positive effect relationship. This dynamic can create both small of a younger partner, especially one who is just disagreements (who pays for dinner) or huge starting out in their life and figuring out how to issues down the line. handle adulthood as a member of the LGBT That old saying that “age is just a number”? It may community. Since both younger and older LGBT not be quite that simple, but the success or failure people can benefit from an relationship age gaps, of a relationship isn’t about age, but about it’s not really all that surprising that we see so compatibility. many couples embracing an age gap and the opportunities that go along with it. www.cityxtramagazine.com 17
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Last-Minute Gay Christmas Gift Ideas for the Classy Guy Get to your computer, grab that credit card, and bring your imagination. It's never too late to begin holiday shopping for that favorite man in your life. In addition to donning gay apparel, the holidays are a time for giving.
Sure, it’s already the middle of November but fashionably late never goes out of style. Which is our way of saying, it’s never too late to begin your holiday shopping. All you need is a computer, a credit card, and an imagination. (If your idea of a fun gay Christmas gift is a coffee mug that says “I’m not gay but 20 bucks is 20 bucks,” you can stop reading now.) If the holiday season has snuck up on you and you’re feeling behind but still want to be a giver, here are some great $50-or-under suggestions to keep the yuletide not only gay but fabulously so. Since 1851, Kiehl’s has been keeping gay men looking young and healthy — the only thing missing has been a proper manual. Thankfully, longtime skincare executive Chris Salgardo has written — Manmade: The Essential Skincare & Grooming Reference for Every Man, — which thoughtfully dispenses grooming and anti-aging tips for a variety of men, from extreme sports enthusiasts to DIY hipsters. This 240-page guide will help those on your holiday gift list put their best face — and body — forward. $30
Stainless Steel Drink Chillers a classy, nondiluting alternative to everyday frozen water. These liquid-filled cubes have round edges to protect glassware and are easily washable. Plus, they look cool and can live in your freezer so they’re always ready for a stiff one when you are. Prost! Set of six: $24.99. In case you didn’t know, capes for dudes are really hot this year. And Topman has a slew of them. While pure black goes with everything, we fancy a nice navy and black plaid. This one-size-fit -all gift is perfect way to keep warm this winter while staying fashionable. $50
Are you shopping for someone who has everything? If so, they clearly don’t need anything — so why not focus on their best friend? No, not that drunken troll who’s always hitting on you … we’re referring to the furry one who barks with joy and licks your face whenever you come over. No matter how adorable your friend’s dog is, he or she can always be made cuter with a smart bowtie collar from The Rover Boutique. Coming in a variety of colorful designs — including plaid, polka dots, nautical, even skull and crossbones — your friend’s pooch will be the stylish envy of his canine And while we’re on the subject of grooming, here’s buddies. $33.01 a great gift for the gay on the go: a rechargeable USB travel razor. Whether you’ve got a frequent Visit our website flyer digging around under your tree or a finicky www.cityXtraMagazine.com for direct links type who’s in constant need of last-minute to items mentioned within the article. touch-ups, this portable device is smaller than a smart phone and needs nothing but a USB port for a quick and smooth shave. Ideal to keep in a man Happy Holidays Xtra’s and may you & your family be blessed into the New Year. We appreciate your purse or glove box. A full charge provides 30 continued support as we enter our 6th year of minutes of shave time. $39.99 operations and still growing while serving the Real men don’t drink watered-down scotch, but LGBTQIA community through-out the South. some of us do enjoy a nice Glenlivet on the rocks. Which is what makes re-freezable N’ice Cubes www.cityxtramagazine.com 22