cityXtra News (CXN Magazine) - November 2013 by Jax Gay Magazine

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Volume 4, Issue 1

CONTENTS VOL. 3, ISSUE 11

14 16

Legal Corner Religious Corner

PROFILE 08

IN EVERY ISSUE

Ten Tips for A Stress-Free Thanksgiving Dinner

DOWN TO BUSINESS 03 12 14 16

Content Top Holiday Wine Picks Legal Corner Religious Corner

COVER STORY 10

How To Beat The Gay Holiday Blues

IN OUR NEXT ISSUE New Years Resolutions Atlantic Beach Tackles HRO Canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t wait for the next issue? Get a sneak preview. Subscribe to RSS feeds on our website, CXNMag.com, and visit us on Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin and Google+

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JACKSONVILLE 616: 616 Park St. (904) 358-6969

Boot Rack: 4751 Lenox Blvd. (904) 384-7090 bootrack.com Bo’s Club: 201 5th Ave. N. (Jax Beach) (904) 246-9874 bosclub.com Club Jax: 1939 Hendricks Ave. (904) 398-7451 clubjax.com Hamburger Mary’s: 3333-1 Beach Blvd. (904) 551-2048 hamburgermarys.com/jax Incahoots: 711 Edison Ave. (904) 353-6316 Park Place: 931 King St. (904) 389-6616 Metro: 859 Willow Branch Ave. (904) 388-7192 metrojax.com The Norm: 2952 Roosevelt (904) 384-0029 4

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nightlife

AJ Bar & Grill: 1024 Atlantic Blvd. (904) 805-9060 ajsbarjax.com

cityXtra cityXtra News Magazine Staff Publisher: David Vandygriff publisher@cxnmagazine.com Executive Editor: Louis Suffredini editor@cxnmagazine.com Creative Designer: Shane Johnson info@cxnmagazine.com Director of Sales: Carlos Martinez sales@cxnmagazine.com cityXtra News Magazine is published by GLBT Advertising Inc. 2941 Plum Street Jacksonville, FL 32205 (904) 410-9592 Jacksonville Office (321) 426-0296 Orlando Office www.cxnmagazine.com

EDITORIAL ADVISORY BOARD

FROM OUR READERS What our readers tell us cityXtra readers occasionally write to us or make comments online about our website, print magazine, and e-edition. Here are the latest things they have to say:

“Great article on Cher. It was very informative and up-to-date. Great work!”

Dr. Harvey Carr, Christ Church of Peace Joey Amato, OUT Reach Public Relations Dr. Doug Massengill, University of Lola Chicago Sebastion Fortino, Project Manager

Contributing Writers David Vandygriff, Mamie Joshlin, Joey Amato, Sebastion Fortino, Dr. Harvey Carr, Atty. Gordon Nicol, Greg Henchar, Michael Smith

DEADLINE FOR DEC 15th ISSUE IS DEC 5th COVER PHOTOGRAPHY David W. Vandygriff cityXtra News Magazine is published 12 times per year. Reprints are available. Contact of contributing advertisers does not reflect the opinions of the publisher. Advertisers have proofed respective articles, and content is assumed true and correct. cityXtra is not responsible for the business dealings of its advertisers. cityXtra is for information purposes only. cityXtra News Magazine (TM). All rights reserved. The contents of this publication, including articles, may not be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher. Address changes should be submitted via e-mail to subscriptions@cxnmag.com. Send story ideas and requests for article reprints to pubisher@cxnmagazine.com or call 904.410.9592 Jacksonville Office or 321.426.0296 Orlando Office.

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TEN TIPS FOR A STRESS STRESS--FREE THANKSGIVING DINNER Written By: Mamie S. Joshlin

Even the cook should get to enjoy Thanksgiving. items that are more difficult and take more time Follow these tips to help take the stress out of getting ready to cook a Thanksgiving meal.

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Plan ahead: Poor planning is probably the greatest stressor when you're trying to execute a large meal. If you want your holiday meal to run smoothly and keep you from aging ten years over the course of a week, you must plan the event carefully, well in advance.

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Organize: Make lists of everything you need to keep organized (ingredients, dishes, kitchen gadgets and accessories, guests, tablescapes, activities). Once you know exactly what you’ll need, you can round up the items, and organize them in a way that makes them accessible.

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Keep a general head count: Crowds tend to be ever-changing. At first, Uncle Joe and Aunt Juanita plan to come, then they decide they can’t, then they decide they can and ask if they can bring Joe's brother. Especially around holidays, the reality is that crowds often shift, so it’s up to you to keep an accurate head count as you move forward. However, don’t spend all your time trying to keep a solid count or you'll drive yourself — and your guests — crazy. Expect some changes on your guest list, just always err on the side of too much food than too little. Just try to keep a general head count running at all times so you know what you’re up against.

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Carefully determine your menu: It’s easy to get excited about a holiday meal and go overboard with your menu. Keep your head out of the clouds and think carefully about everything you must do to create each dish. Plan to have a few 8

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and a few items that are quick and easy.

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Prepare some items in advance: A vital trick when cooking for a crowd is preparing as many items in advance as you can. The more items you can prepare in advance, the easier the big day will be.

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Don’t be afraid to borrow: Just because you're the host of a holiday dinner doesn't mean you should have all the pots, pans, dishes, and supplies on hand. When you cook for a crowd, borrowing items is perfectly fine. You don’t need to buy everything you may need, and you don’t need to suffer in silence, either.

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Create a workflow: A workflow will help you manage your tasks and ensure that everything gets done.

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Eat well, exercise, and sleep well: Everyone has gone into panic mode at some point. In those times, reality seems to go out the window, and you zone in on one particular task. As you’re getting ready for Thanksgiving, try to keep the same schedule. Eat the same kind of foods you normally do, get some exercise, and go to bed and get up at the same times as usual. If you keep your body in sync, you’ll keep a level head on your shoulders.

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Take a breather: Build some downtime into your Thanksgiving day. Your mind and body work better if they both can take a break, so don't feel guilty if you put your feet up, watch a parade, or read an article for 15 minutes. You’ll feel refreshed, and those overwhelmed feelings will remain at bay. Ask for help: The trick is knowing when you need help. As Thanksgiving day nears, be realistic. If you simply have too much to do, make some phone calls and get extra help. Your goal is to have a fun, successful Thanksgiving Day.

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HOW TO BEAT THE GAY HOLIDAY BLUES Written By: Michael D. Smith

Being gay isn't easy ... especially around the holidays. We're just days before the big "C" — Christmas. Hustle, bustle, parties and keeping-upappearances is in full swing. Yet, no matter the year, the holiday season brings its own version of joy and folly for many people. Clutched in the grasp of unmarried, living in sin, having children out of wedlock, divorced, separated, or just plain not wanting to be in a relationship, it's no wonder we can go from Hallelujah to Humbug in a nanosecond. Now add a dollop of festive flair, a twist of fabulousness, and "Oh, make sure we have our token gays on the guest list," and you can see why there isn't enough brandy in the eggnog to avert the dreaded "hay holiday blues."

shortage of guests with tact. "Did you bring your wife?" "How many children do you have?" There should be an etiquette book written called "Politically Correct Holiday Party Questions."  Nothing makes you lose your appetite at the holiday dinner table like someone saying, "Jacob, when are you and your nice friend Michael going to find some good Christian girls to make babies with?" And finally, upon arrival at the company holiday party, Sally, the VP's assistant, announces, "Grab Jeff and Patrick. Their really good at making napkin swans!" Tongue-in-cheek as these little snippets may seem, they are the reality for LGBT individuals each and every holiday season, but the bottom line is this.

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By no means is this discriminatory towards our hetero brothers and sisters who bear their own lumps of coal during this season. It's understood; we all get our chestnuts roasted in one way or another with the pressure of the holidays. For that we feel your pain. On the other hand, being LGBT during the holidays does seem to heat up the emotions and melt the "reason for the season." Here are just a few examples:

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Because of your lifestyle, you are welcome home, but your partner isn't. Yet, your sister's boyfriend is more than welcome home to boink in her great-grandma's feather poster bed.  No shortage of party invitations, just a 10

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Gay men need more than a big candy cane to play with during the holidays.  Lesbians don't always have to be the ones to engineer the tree stand or hang the lights on the house.  "Home for the holidays" for many LGBT individuals means waking up in their own homes/ apartments/condos, or even their cars because they're not welcome home for the holidays.  Fabulous, talented and "token gays" aren't the only reason we should get a party invitation. When the winter night sets on the holiday celebration, and the sun rises with anticipation of presents yet to be unwrapped, the greatest gift any of us can give one another is to realize that the color of our skin, the language that we speak, our status in the community, nor whom we crawl into bed with at night changes a thing. We all deserve to be treated like humans, not just during the holidays, but every day.

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TOP HOLIDAY WINE PICKS Written By: David Vandygriff

jasmine-scented blend of Gewürztraminer, ask the same question: "What wine goes best with Moscatel de Alejandría and Moscatel de Grano Menudo. turkey?" I gave this some thought last

It seems as though every Thanksgiving people

Thanksgiving, while watching our annual 21pound bird bob around like a giant McNugget in five gallons of boiling peanut oil, and decided that the problem isn’t the turkey at all. Turkey, as we all know, is about the least flavorful item on the Thanksgiving table. Sans gravy and stuffing, you could match anything from Albariño to Zinfandel with it and come out fine. So the real issue is all those side dishes. What you want is a wine that goes equally well with brussels sprouts, sausage stuffing, cranberry sauce, green beans, creamed onions, corn bread and 15 or 20 other Thanksgiving must-haves. This means a wine that not only manages to have wonderful flavor but also wonderful balance— neither too tannic nor too acidic, neither too alcoholic nor too light. It needs the zip to cut through cream, the delicacy to enhance subtle seasonings and the flavor to stand up to a host of other, not always complementary flavors—all qualities the following wines have. And, of course, all of them are perfect matches for turkey.

2005 Iron Horse Rosato di Sangiovese ($12) The rugged T Bar T Vineyard in the northeast corner of California’s Alexander Valley supplied the grapes for this Italian-style rosé. Full-bodied for a rosé, it’s packed with wild strawberry flavors that are even more pronounced when the wine is lightly chilled. 2004 Bogle Petite Sirah ($11) Petite Sirah can often be aggressively tannic, but this bottling from Clarksburg, California, producer Bogle is soft enough to go with a vast range of dishes. Its ripe blueberry and blackberry fruit is luscious and compelling. 2004 Hahn Estates Merlot ($14) Proprietor Nicolaus Hahn created Hahn Estates wines like this peppery, licorice-tinged Merlot to focus on affordable bottlings from his vineyards throughout California’s Monterey

2003 Château Musar 2005 Hogue Pinot Grigio ($10) Pinot Grigio (or Cuvée Rouge Pinot Gris; they’ re the same grape) has become ($19) one of the Pacific Northwest’s most widely planted Château Musar, white varieties. Hogue’s version hews to the in the Bekáa Valley in Lebanon, has successfully lighter, more Italian style, with a light floral aroma made amazing reds through more wars than any and nectarine-citrus flavors. winery deserves. The second wine to its flagship 2004 Paraiso Riesling ($14) Made in an Alsace Château Musar red—a blend of Cinsaut, style—dry, with just a hint of sweetness, and full of Carignane and Cabernet Sauvignon—has a silky tingling acidity, white peach and green apple texture and raspberry-compote flavors. fruit—this bottling from the Santa Lucia Highlands 2004 Buena Vista Carneros Pinot Noir ($23) in California’s Monterey County is Riesling at its The arrival of talented winemaker Jeff Stewart at tastiest. this historic California winery has resulted in a 2005 Torres Viña Esmeralda ($14) The mountain surge of quality. The classic Carneros Pinot Noir, slopes in the northern parts of Spain’s Penedès for instance, has soft tannins and succulent cherry region, west of Barcelona, provide the grapes for flavors. this fragrant, medium-bodied white, a 12

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LEGAL CORNER Written By: Gordon T. Nicol, Atty

Understanding the Sealing and Expungement of Criminal Records There are very few “just plain” bad people. People sometimes make poor choices which cause them to get into trouble and be arrested. Once in the criminal justice system, they then have fewer opportunities to “right the wrong.” If found guilty –or if someone pleads guilty – this “black mark” will follow you wherever you go. It is important to know that these criminal records are public. Potential employers and prospective land lords are able to see and review those criminal records. Unfortunately once a potential employer sees your criminal history they will not hire you. When a prospective land lord sees your criminal history they can also refuse to rent you a place to live. Worst of all is that your neighbors and family are able to see your criminal history. It can be very embarrassing to have your neighbors and grand-children know and talk about your mistakes. There is a legal process that is in place to allow for a fresh start. Sealing/expunging a criminal record can help people get free of those “tangled webs” and start over. Of course, not every crime / every plea will be eligible for either sealing or expunging. There is a difference between sealing and expunging records. As an overview, sealing a

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criminal record is the legal process where the criminal record is available only to the government and law enforcement The records are not available to potential employers and land lords. When a record is expunged, on the other hand, it requires a Court Order to view. The legal process to seal/expunge a criminal record is in three steps. My role as your attorney is to advise you through each of the steps. The first step is the background search through the Florida Department of Law Enforcement ( FDLE). Depending on the nature of the criminal offense and the length of time since the case was prosecuted each case is on a different legal time line. The second step involves the State Attorney’s office in the legal process. Please do not expect the State Attorney’s office to agree to seal/expunge every request. This can be a difficult process. Once we complete the first two steps, the third step is a court proceeding with the Judge. This can be intimidating but it is absolutely necessary. The above advice is general in nature and should not be relied upon for specific legal advice. Every situation is different. Gordon T. Nicol, Esq. 7545 Centurion Parkway, Suite 108 Jacksonville, Florida 32256 Ph: (904) 384-4911 Fax: (904) 384-4944

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RELIOUS CORNER: On a Count of Three, Let Go! Written By: Dr. Harvey Carr

every day. Let go, and trust our Creator. God, in a middle of nowhere, I saw people falling out of the manner of speaking, is going to yell, "THREE!", sky. Parachuting. I wanted to do that. So I signed and you need to trust that He has your back. up. I had no idea what I was getting into. You don't have your own parachute to get you When it was time, the instructor put us through a through life. He is your parachute. Not only that. little practice. No problem. We took off. I watched He's the pilot and the plane and the wind under the altimeter they had put on me: 1,000 feet, the plane and the Creator of the sky and the earth 2,000 feet, 3,000 feet … 12,000 feet. Two miles and everything in between. up in the air. But we still hang on to the bar and pretend we're trusting God. Then they opened the door.

At a youth conference in Colorado, out in the

You know, it hadn't dawned on me what was going to happen. Six dudes were in that plane, screaming, and I started to come to my senses. “I'm in a committed relationship. I have a son, grandchildren and future greatgrandchildren.” You know? But there was no backing out of this. We were supposed to kneel and crawl to the door. There was a bar to grab, and when the instructor counted to three, we were to let go. I happened to be the last guy. I crawled over and looked down. We were two miles above the earth, and, the others were floating specks below. He yelled, "On three, you gotta let go!" I started thinking. There's no way the instructor can make me let go of this bar. I had to voluntarily let go. "ONE... TWO…" When he yelled, "'THREE!", I took a deep breath, released the bar, and launched into thin air. Now, what's ironic is that I did not have a parachute on me. I had the instructor on me. I was hooked to him, and he had the parachute on. I had to trust that the guy I was tied to was equipped to save my life. It's a great illustration of what people need to do, 16

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All of us cling to something and think we're in control; but He knows exactly who you are. He knows your family; He knows your past; He knows all about your present; and He knows your future. So what bar are you hanging onto? In what other than God are you trusting? What are you clinging to for your happiness, for sense of security, for your future, for your comfort, for your sense of purpose, for your identity? God wants to be that thing. Let go, and grab Him!

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