CX Sept 2014 by Jax Gay Magazine

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CONTENTS VOL. 3, ISSUE 10

PROFILE 08

Gay Marriage Count Down

INSIDE 3

Content

Gay Marriage Battle Part II

Dating and Desperate: HIV

We All Need Allies

DJ Brianna Top 10 Dance

COVER 12

River City Pride

IN OUR NEXT ISSUE

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PROFILE

Gay Marriage Count Down

regardless of whether the couples said they were married.

By Jacob Massengill Efforts to count the relatively small slice of

“Windsor didn’t obligate us to do anything,” said Rose Kreider, chief of the fertility and family statistics branch of the Census Bureau. “But it in some ways made it easier to say: It’s legally recognized federally, so it’s time for us to throw them in with all married couples.” Efforts to count the relatively small slice of same-sex couples who are married have been beset by accuracy problems. Following the 2010 Census, statisticians reduced the estimate of same-sex married couples by 28 percent after concluding that more straight couples had mismarked the gender categories. The census adjusted the results by looking at first names and changing the gender when there was a 95 percent chance of a mistake. The Census Bureau started collecting data on same-sex couples when the unmarried partner category was added in 1990. Although legalizing same-sex marriage was more than a decade away, some people of the same gender said they were married. Because that was not legally possible, the census unilaterally changed the sex of one partner. The 2000 Census categorized all same-sex households as unmarried partners, 8

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same-sex couples who are married have been beset by accuracy problems. Following the 2010 Census, statisticians reduced the estimate of same-sex married couples by 28 percent after concluding that more straight couples had mismarked the gender categories. The census adjusted the results by looking at first names and changing the gender when there was a 95 percent chance of a mistake. “While I fully endorse this change, because it’s the right thing to do, we’re not completely sure how reliable the data will be to start,” said Gary Gates, who studies gay demographics at the Williams Institute at the University of California at Los Angeles Law School. “But on the social and cultural side, it’s important to tell researchers and the public that the federal government views these people as families and these couples as married. That in itself has utility.” Census officials hope the accuracy will be improved by the 2020 Census. They are testing questions that they hope to introduce in surveys — but not until 2016. People will be given four explicit options to check about their relationship — opposite-sex spouses, opposite-sex unmarried partners, same-sex spouses or same-sex partners. They also will be asked whether they are in a registered domestic partnership or a civil union. “We’re trying to make changes that reflect what’s happening with American families,” Kreider said. “We’ve been working on it for some years, and we’re continuing to work on it to improve the measurement of American families and emerging family forms.”

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INSIDE

Gay Marriage Battle Part II By Jonathon Frank

I won’t hide the ball here, so here it is: Gay people should not be able to get married because Pocahontas married John Rolfe. This argument was actually made in federal court, before the judges of the Court of Appeals for the 4th Circuit in Richmond, Virginia. They were hearing a challenge to Virginia’s ban on same-sex marriage. The argument is hands-down the worst argument ever offered against same-sex marriage. But Virginia’s Pocahontas argument takes the cake. Let me explain. One of the many issues in same-sex marriage litigation is whether bans on same-sex marriage violate a person’s constitutional right to marry. Many Supreme Court cases have said there is a fundamental right to marry, so the argument is straightforward that bans on

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same-sex marriage infringe on that right. In response, some states try to refute this argument by asserting that there is no general right to marry, but rather there is only a right to marry someone of the opposite sex. They argue that this more narrowly defined right is what is protected by court precedent and by our country’s history and tradition. Same-sex marriage advocates usually respond to that argument by asserting that you can’t define fundamental rights so narrowly. If you did, there wouldn’t have been a fundamental right to marry in Loving v. Virginia, the 1967 Supreme Court case that found Virginia could not prohibit interracial marriage. In Loving, the court held that the Constitution protects a fundamental right to marry. As same-sex marriage advocates point out, the court did not require the Lovings to show that there was a long tradition in our country of protecting a fundamental right of a white man to marry a black woman. If it had required such a showing, they couldn’t have done so, given our country’s racist history of banning

interracial marriage. Which is when Oakley shocked everyone with this horrendous Pocahontas argument. He responded, in full: “There is a history, prior to the Jim Crow era laws, the anti-miscegenation laws. The idea of interracial marriage was not prohibited. It still fit within the fundamental right of marriage, the idea of a man-woman marriage. Before Virginia passed those affirmative anti-miscegenation laws, it might not have been the social norm, but people certainly could have married, and indeed did marry, across racial lines. Pocahontas married John Rolfe in the early 1600s and their marriage wasn’t declared unconstitutional.”

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careers and some had become victim River City of the AIDS Pride 2014 epidemic. With the By David Vandygriff organization in limbo, attorney Kim The year was 1978, nine years after the Stonewall riots Blankenship stepped that gave birth to the gay forward to rights movement and Jackreinstate the sonville celebrated its’ first Gay Pride organization Festival with a large picnic at along with the Jacksonville Willow Branch Park, thus becoming yet another city na- Gay Pride tionwide to be out and proud. Committee. The Lesbian & Gay Commu- The organization nity Center of Jacksonville was then renamed; (LGCAJ) was subsequently established receiving its’ 501 Community Rainbows, Inc. (c) (3) status in November of Two years later at the end of 1989. 2001, the Jacksonville Gay Pride Committee became In the years that followed, LGCAJ became an umbrella First Coast Pride, Inc. acquiring the umbrella organization organization for many and re-established the Out & community service projects About newspaper as Out In and the stepping stone for The City. After many years, other 2001 also marked the last non-profit start ups in Jacksonville such as: Out & About, year the annual Pride Festival Jacksonville Gay Pride, Unity was held at the fairgrounds and in 2002 FCP moved the Leadership, Safe School Coalition, The Lesbian Breast festival to the Sea Walk Cancer Outreach Project and Pavilion in Jacksonville Beach. In 2008 the name was First Coast Chorus. once again changed from In 1999, the future of LGCAJ First Coast Pride, Inc. to began to look bleak as many Merge, Inc. with the festival of the board members had left moving to Riverside Park. to pursue other endeavors/

COVER STORY

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At one time prior to 2008, the following organizations were housed under the 501 (c) (3) umbrella of Community Rainbows, Inc.: First Coast Pride, Out in the City, the NEFL Names Project, the FCP HIV Testing Project, the Ray Castro Foundation of the Arts, MyOITC.com community portal and Steppin Out Networking Socials. Despite the largest crowd in its’ 30 year history for the parade, block party and a successful scaled back festival, low revenue would mark 2008 as the final year in the long history of pride celebrations in Jacksonville. The year would also bring an end to the newspaper, Out in the City, due to dwindling ad

revenue sources and the inability to secure an editor in chief.

canceled.

In 2010, Jerry Rosenberg compiled a group of persons First Coast Pride/Merge Inc. interested in bringing back a disassembled in 2009 as the pride organization to majority of board members Jacksonville and River City had resigned for various Pride was born. Starting with personal reasons and funding zero dollars, the LGBT was non-existent due to lack community came together of leadership in sponsorship and re-established a Pride efforts. While there were Parade and Pride Festival in attempts to resuscitate the October, 2010 to coincide organization unsubstantiated with Coming Out Day. The rumors/claims/accusations of River City Pride Organization large indebtedness and not only raised enough dollars funding issues took its’ toll on to finance the 2010 events all who were trying to put the but also made it possible to organization back together continue the events in 2011. and all pride activities were As of November, 2011, River City Pride was approaching a revenue balance exceeding $30,000 to take the tradition into 2012 and beyond. PARADE Show your pride, loud and proud! Join us this year as we celebrate our individuality by being part of the parade, or by simply showing your support!

the time and parade route. Block party immediately after the parade on Lomax St. sponsored by the 5 Points Merchants Association PARADE START TIME: 4:00 pm on October 4, 2014 START LOCATION: Boone Park

    

From Boone Park, turn left onto St Johns Avenue Continue for one mile to McDuff Avenue Turn left onto McDuff Avenue and continue for half of a mile Turn right onto Park Street and continue for one mile Stay left at caution light to Riverside Park

END: 5 Points Business District FESTIVAL October 5, 2014 11:00 am—8:00pm Riverside Arts Market 715 Riverside Avenue Jacksonville, FL 32205 FREE ($3 Donations Suggested—FREE Commemorative Bracelet with donations).

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Dating and Desperate: What Not To Do When You Are Single And HIV Positive By Tyler Curry

If your date was looking for unconditional, unquestionable love, then he would adopt a puppy. Oh what a different world it would be if we all knew how to navigate the tricky and treacherous battlefield that is the gay dating scene. Not only must we face the same plights and perils of the hetero single soldiers, but we must also face the cold reality of a much smaller dating pool, our exes dating other exes and an unrealistic image of what it is to be shirtless. So we try to arm ourselves as best we can, because no matter how many broken hearts we bury, the battle for love must go on. But 14

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there is one surefire way of turning every future love scenario into a bloodbath, no matter how much of a match the two of you may be, and that is being HIV positive and desperate for a date. It is one thing to admit that you are open to finding love. It is quite another to constantly be wondering why you don’t have a boyfriend. Before you can find the right man to bake cookies with and watch romantic comedies on a rainy Sunday afternoon, it takes realizing that you are better off alone than trapped in a relationship with Mr. Wrong… or Mr. Right Now. Of course, gays who are too eager for love come in the form of both statuses, but an HIV positive man is a particular breed of desperate. These guys will often approach a first date with the hope that their potential match will be able to overlook their positive status and give them a chance in spite of it all. Once they do, it is as if their date has done something for them and they instantly move up one, maybe two stages, on the clinger scale. All of a sudden, the pressure is on for this date to turn into a mate, regardless of personal interests or compatibility. If your date was looking for unconditional, unquestionable love, then he would adopt a puppy. And if you are

hoping to trick someone into overlooking your virus because of your super funny personality or your similar interest in contemporary art, you are setting yourself up for yet another tearful ice cream-valiumvodka binge. Your status is nothing you can expect someone to overlook, but treating it as such exhibits an underlying insecurity, and it is a major turn-off, no matter how they feel about your status Address your internal HIV stigma before your next date, because your inner bad ass deserves better than your outer coward making excuses for something you cannot change. HIV isn’t a character flaw, it is a reality that someone either understands or they do not. Hoping and praying that someone will overlook your reality is a desperate move, especially when you don’t even know theirs. The truth is, we all should have conditions that our would-be-love must meet when we approach any potential relationship. You need to clarify what yours are before you try and meet someone else’s. This is universal for all gay men, but a positive guy should have the compulsory condition of being viewed as an equal instead of privileged to date a man who is willing to overlook their status. No matter how great Mr. Saturday night is, you

should go into the date with the outlook that if he doesn’t think you are the tops, then he isn’t worth bottoming for, much less taking home to mom. Well, whatever position you want to assume is your call; just don’t be worrying about if he calls you after. The next weekend is only

seven days away. Luckily, being HIV positive doesn’t make you very special in the gay community anymore. Substitute your status for any other trait or characteristic that invokes insecurity in a person, and the playing field is virtually leveled. If you are serious about

finding a permanent ‘plus one,’ drop the desperation and find your confidence. You may think that is easier said than done, but all it takes is reminding yourself that your goods are worth their sticker price and you don’t have to discount them for anyone.

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ALLIES

We All Need Allies By Laura Riggs There are times in our lives when we all wish we had an unwavering ally. Someone who will not only be there to help battle the gravest of injustice, but also when we have a bad day at work or a fight with our partner or when we are battling deep depression. I remember being picked on a lot as a kid - I was smaller than the other children and lived in a poorer neighborhood. Another girl from class would constantly follow me home, call me names and threaten to kick my ass. One afternoon, I finally had enough and decided to confront the issue. But, just as she was about to land the first punch, one of the other boys in our class stepped in between us and demanded the girl stop picking on me. Steve was one of the more popular kids and his family had money, so I was surprised that it was he who spoke up. After all, privilege is a fickle thing and Steve risked alienation by his peers to stand up for someone perceived to be undeserving of their friendship. As we grew up together and attended the same high school, Steve remained my advocate. When other boys disrespected or degraded their female counterparts, he quickly corrected their behavior, but never expected anything in return from those of us he 16

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defended. Whether he knew it or not, I considered Steve an ally. His actions affirmed that I was valuable. My example pales in comparison to the fight for freedom and justice, when people’s lives are on the line, but it highlights why having allies can make everyday life more bearable. Before the HRO was passed in Atlantic Beach this past week, I witnessed people eager to treat our LGBT family as “sub-human”, based on their idea of faith. Yet, many allies, myself included, stepped forward to say enough is enough - no one has the right to treat anyone as less than or separate from. That same day, actor Robin Williams committed suicide, at age 63, after suffering from severe depression. In a line from the movie World’s Greatest Dad, Williams is remembered saying, “I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone, it’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel alone.” Social isolation and feelings of hopelessness are leading risk factors for suicide attempts in the United States. When comparing heterosexual males and females with their gay and lesbian counterparts, one study found that the gay men were 6-times more likely than heterosexual males to attempt suicide and the lesbians were 2times more likely than heterosexual females.[1] Little research has been done about transgender individuals, but one study reported 30.1% of adult and youth transgender

individuals having ever attempted suicide.[2] Religion, or religious doctrine is a leading cause for suicide in the LGBT community.[1] As I listened to the comments from those who spoke against the need for non-discrimination protections for the LGBT community, most came from religious doctrine. When I hear phrases like, “So you’re an ally, do you want a cookie?”, I think back to Steve and wonder how it would have transformed our relationship had I pushed him away. Rather, what would life had been like if he hadn’t stepped in between the other girl and I after school that afternoon? With so few friends, I am not sure I could have afforded to make enemies and I am grateful that Steve was willing to stand up for me, not because I asked and not because he had anything to gain, but simply because he didn’t want to see someone be treated unfairly. This is what allies do…at least, this is what we try to do. We try to step in and ask others to behave better, without cause for fan fare. Sometimes, we falter, or say the the wrong thing, but in the end, we really do just want to see others live with dignity and joy. [1] Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Resource Sheet: Facts on Suicide. American Association of Suicidology. 2009-2010 data. http:// www.suicidology.org/c/document_library/ get_file?folderId=262&name=DLFE-595.pdf [2] Transgender health: findings from two needs assessment studies in Philadelphia. Kenagy GP. Health Soc Work. 2005 Feb;30 (1):19-26. PMID: 15847234

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1)Jessie J feat. Ariana Grande & Nicki Minaj- “Bang Bang” (Disco Suckz Remix) 2)Sia- “Chandelier” (Aron Abikzer Summer Mix) 3)Jennifer Lopez- First Love (DJ Aaron Mix) 4)Iggy Azalea- Black Widow (Justin Prime Dirty Remix) 5)Suzanne Palmer- Surrender (Tod Miner Club Mix) 6)Ariana Grande- Break Free (Club Mix) 7)Nicki Minaj- Anaconda (Tribal Club Mix) 8)Maroon 5- Maps (Palladium Mix) 9)Meghan Trainor - All About That Bass (Tribal Mix) 10)Beyonce- Flawless (Country Club Mix)

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