The Cleveland Jewish News
A special edition of Jstyle Weddings and Bar• Bat Mitzvah | WINTER 2020
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Winter 2020
CONTENTS
10 14 18 22 8
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Appreciate smaller celebrations
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Editor Amanda Koehn discusses the benefits of an intimate, COVID-19-safe and friendly celebration
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Spotlight Wedding: Lauren Feldman & Jordan Roth
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Celebrations Winter 2020
Genevieve Nisly Photography
Backyard Bash Backyards offer easy access to beautiful ceremony spots for intimate and fun gatherings outside with friends and family
18
Metropark Marriage Enjoy the fall and winter outdoors with the amazing parks system Cleveland has to offer
22
Spotlight Bat mitzvah: Elizabeth Katz
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Change of plans How the COVID-19 era has altered event planning – and why some trends might be here to stay
Winter 2020
CONTENTS
28 32 The Cleveland Jewish News
A special edition of Jstyle Weddings and Bar•Bat Mitzvah | WINTER 2020
46 On the cover: Lauren Feldman and Jordan Roth are married by Rabbi Rosette Barron Haim on July 11, 2020 at Shoreby Club in Bratenahl, in front of 24 people – cut from about 200 guests originally planned for before the pandemic. Today, the newlyweds reside in Beachwood and attend The Temple-Tifereth Israel in Beachwood. Cover photo by Lauren Gabrielle Photography
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Spotlight Wedding: Chaya Abelow & Rabbi Noah Leavitt
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Social (distanced) Spaces Venues offer visions for celebrations this year and beyond
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Celebrations Winter 2020
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Spotlight
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Bat mitzvah: Ariel Brooke Vilensky
38
Ask a Pro Planning tips from Northeast Ohio professionals on catering, dessert, entertainment, stationery, photography and ceremony preparation
Spotlight Wedding: Alyssa Rothstein & Alex Giterman
50
Hora Dylan Hershey celebrates his bar mitzvah right before the pandemic.
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Much to appreciate in smaller celebrations I’m excited to share this special issue of Celebrations – a combined edition of Jstyle Weddings and Bar•Bat Mitzvah magazines, highlighting both types of simchas and the planning, trends and stories behind them. We thought this winter was the perfect time to publish this special issue, as Northeast Ohioans celebrating both types of events are together navigating a frustrating and scary territory brought on by the pandemic. Over seven months ago – around when we published our spring issue of Bar•Bat Mitzvah – people were scrambling to cancel or postpone their events. And as described to me by Kim Singerman, founder and event director at Noteworthy Events in Solon and Cincinnati, as the months went on with no end to the pandemic in sight, those same people began to either postpone their celebrations even further out, or re-imagine how they could go forward. In talking last month with Kim and Alison Quinn Cox, event consultant at Joe Mineo Creative in Youngstown, they explained some of the bright sides to having an event with a substantially smaller guest list. For example, if you have 15 wedding guests – as may be appropriate for reasonable physical distancing, assuming all necessary precautions are taken – you may be able to afford a nicer meal or drinks, or provide guests’ rides to and from the celebration. At your child’s bat mitzvah, they may actually have the opportunity to spend time and have meaningful conversations with older relatives, instead of focusing on the social pressures involved when their whole middle school class is invited. And of course many more guests can celebrate with you virtually. That said, if you are holding out until it’s safe to have the big bash you always imagined, your family, friends and vendors should respect that, too. There are many trends and timeless styles and tips within the pages of this magazine to glean inspiration from for those far-out events as well. Although I probably don’t have to remind you but it feels irresponsible not to, if you are celebrating in any in-person capacity, please wear a mask, urge social distancing and if you don’t feel well, don’t go. Designate that loud, opinionated or bubbly relative (we all have at least one) to be the friendly, yet strict enforcer of those measures and others. And remember, while having so many rules in place may feel a bit unnatural, know it’s all to
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Celebrations Winter 2020
Publisher & CEO Kevin S. Adelstein Vice President of Sales Adam Mandell Editor Amanda Koehn akoehn@cjn.org Design Manager Stephen Valentine Managing Editor Bob Jacob Controller Tracy DiDomenico Digital Marketing Manager Cheryl Sadler Events Manager Gina Lloyd Editorial McKenna Corson Skylar Dubelko Jane Kaufman Becky Raspe
Celebrations Editor Amanda Koehn reminds readers to wear their masks at any events this year. protect the health and wellness of everyone. At this point in the pandemic, many of us have found ourselves in situations where there’s some discomfort – perhaps you were in a store and people weren’t wearing masks, or you visited a friend’s house under the impression it would be a socially distant gathering, but wasn’t distant at all. While everyone has different comfort levels, our top tip is don’t let your event be the one that is remembered for making guests uncomfortable, or much worse, sick. To those celebrating with intimate events, have fun, take in the moment and stay safe. To those planning maybe a year or two years out, I hope the stories in this magazine both verify your decision to postpone and provide something to look forward to. We’ll be here as your event approaches, when hopefully Northeast Ohio is a safer, healthier place. And yes, we fully expect to bring you Jstyle, Jstyle Weddings and Bar•Bat Mitzvah magazines in 2021.
Amanda Koehn Editor
Custom Publishing Manager Paul Bram Sales & Marketing Manager Andy Isaacs Advertising Marilyn Evans Ron Greenbaum Adam Jacob Nell V. Kirman Sherry Tilson Yocheved Wylen Design Jessica Simon Ricki Urban Digital Content Producer Alyssa Schmitt Business & Circulation Tammie Crawford Abby Royer Subscriber Services 216-342-5185/circulation@cjn.org Display Advertising 216-342-5191/adsales@cjn.org
VOL. 144 NO. 47 CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS (ISSN-0009-8825) is published weekly with additional issues in January, March, May, June, August, October, November and December by The Cleveland Jewish Publication Company at 23880 Commerce Park, Suite 1, Cleveland, OH 44122-5380. Single copy $1.25. Periodicals Postage paid at Cleveland, OH., and additional mailing offices. POSTMASTER and additional mailing offices. Send address changes to the Cleveland Jewish News, 23880 Commerce Park, Suite 1, Cleveland, OH 44122-5380
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SPOTLIGHT
Lauren Gabrielle Photography
LAUREN FELDMAN & JORDAN ROTH WEDDING DAY JULY 11, 2020 SHOREBY CLUB | BRATENAHL TODAY AGES: 28 AND 30 RESIDENCE: BEACHWOOD SYNAGOGUE: THE TEMPLE-TIFERETH ISRAEL 10 Celebrations Winter 2020
HOW DID YOU MEET? Hinge (a dating app)
DO YOU HAVE ANY INTERESTING STORIES TO SHARE ABOUT GETTING TO KNOW ONE ANOTHER? The day we got engaged was the first day our families met. My (Lauren’s) family belongs to a beach club on Long Island that has been a special place for my family that we have gone to every summer of my life. Jordan’s family was visiting New York for his graduation from orthodontic residency at Columbia University. We invited Jordan’s family to the beach and spent the day playing volleyball and relaxing on the beach. Toward the end of the evening, Jordan asked me to go take a walk (despite the fact that there were 30 mph winds). My sister had snuck down to the lifeguard stand to set up roses, and our siblings followed us down to take pictures and share in the big moment. It was so special to celebrate our engagement on the beach and to see our families become one on their very first day together.
HOW LONG DID YOU KNOW EACH OTHER BEFORE YOU GOT MARRIED?
HOW DID THE PANDEMIC AFFECT YOUR WEDDING PLAN AND WEDDING DAY?
Two years. Our first date was on June 24, 2018, and we got engaged just under one year later on June 15, 2019. We got married on July 11, 2020.
The original plan for our wedding was to get married in October 2020 in New York, my (Lauren’s) hometown, with a traditional wedding of approximately 200 people. Due to the COVID pandemic, we had to adjust these plans. We knew we wanted to get married in 2020. We also had to decide what was the safest way to get married and still share the day with some of our loved ones. We cut down our wedding from 200 to 24 people. This was a very difficult decision to make, but it was one that we thought was necessary to best protect our loved ones. We are still hoping to have our large New York wedding celebration in 2021.
WHEN DID YOU KNOW YOU WANTED TO MARRY YOUR PARTNER?
Lauren: I knew after a few months that I wanted to marry Jordan. It became very clear to me that he was a very kind, hardworking, thoughtful person with wonderful values that were aligned with my own. I saw how much he cared for his family and friends. We connected very quickly and learned that we shared many common interests and hobbies, and integrated seamlessly into each other’s lives. Jordan was everything that I always hoped for. Jordan: I used to work at a private orthodontic office in New Jersey during residency. However, to get there and back involved taking a subway to Penn Station and then transfer to a bus that made about 30 stops before being dropped off to walk up a steep hill to the office and see patients all day. So needless to say, those days were exhausting by the time I made it back to the city. Not to mention they left me very hungry. Lauren understood this the first time I made this trek while we were dating, and she was willing to have a quiet night in and a delicious dinner ready and waiting for me once I arrived. That’s how you know she’s the one.
WAS THERE ANY SPOT-ON ADVICE YOU RECEIVED PRIOR TO THE BIG DAY, EITHER IN TERMS OF THE WEDDING OR LASTING RELATIONSHIP? My (Lauren’s) father had previously presented me with two questions that I should be able to answer in a relationship: 1. “What do they do to enhance you as a person?” And 2. “What do they bring to the relationship?” When I met Jordan, I knew very quickly that there were many answers to those questions, which made me very confident in him as my partner.
WERE THERE ANY CONFLICTS BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU OR YOUR FAMILIES IN THE PLANNING PROCESS? DID EITHER OF YOU HAVE TO MAKE ANY SACRIFICES? Jordan had always wanted an outdoor wedding, which I was reluctant towards due to the possibility of bad weather. We agreed to move up our wedding date from October to July to improve our chances of nice weather, and I took a leap of faith that everything would work out. Thankfully, we were blessed with the most beautiful evening, watching the sunset light up Lake Erie.
WHAT WAS THE MOST FUN OR INTERESTING JEWISH ASPECT OF YOUR WEDDING/PARTNERSHIP? There were many grandparents that were unable to be with us at our wedding. We had two kiddush cups at our wedding. One was an engagement gift from my (Lauren’s) grandmother, who remained in Florida to protect her health. The other was a family heirloom from Jordan’s grandparents, which was engraved with their names and the date of their wedding from over 60 years ago. It was very special to us to have this representation of family and Jewish heritage at our wedding.
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PLANNING
Officiant: Rabbi Rosette Barron Haim Veil: Lauren’s grandmother’s veil from her wedding 62 years ago Hair: Studio MZ Salon & Spa Makeup: Lauren did her own makeup Bouquet, Flowers and Chuppah: PF Designs Ketubah: Ketubah.com Photographer: Lauren Gabrielle Photography Videographer: The Image in Motion Planner/Consultant: Lauren’s mother-in law Reception and ceremony: Shoreby Club Cake/Sweets: Amy Kekst F.O.O.D. Music/entertainment: Forecast Accommodations: The AC Hotel Marriott at Pinecrest Registries: Bloomingdale’s, Amazon
“
The best moment of our wedding was seeing everything come together better than we ever could have hoped for. We had to modify our original wedding plans due to COVID and planned a 24-person wedding in six weeks. With the help of our family and friends and a little bit of luck, everything turned out incredibly. It was a very special and intimate night with our loved ones, wonderful music, a beautiful sunset, and turned out to be the most magical dream come true. What started as a stressful change of plans ended up being the best night of our lives. - Lauren
”
12 Celebrations Winter 2020
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Backyard Bash By Jessica Simon Backyards offer easy access to beautiful ceremony spots for intimate and fun gatherings outside with friends and family. To make things COVID-19 friendly and cut down your guest list, use parts of the ceremony to honor the couple and others close to them, rather than the risk of a giant wedding party. For your attire, think trendy and colorful. For brides, try a jumpsuit, shorter white dress, or stick with a full-on gown to keep it traditional. Add statement necklaces or colorful jewelry to pop in photos. Grooms, what about a bright suit? Whatever way you spin it, you’ll love the easy-going feel of your big day.
Too Much Awesomeness Mona gown by Lea-Ann Belter from Brides by the Falls in Chagrin Falls. Red Hemsworth Suit from Indochino in Orange. 14-karat white gold pendant with tanzanite gemstone in frame of 44 round brilliant cut diamonds from Robert and Gabriel Jewelers in Lyndhurst.
14 Celebrations Winter 2020
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Mazel Tov on your big day!
Photos by MARIANA EDELMAN PHOTOGRAPHY & DESIGN
The Marriott Cleveland East oers a wide variety of options for Sabbath dinners, Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebrations, and Sunday brunches, as well as guestroom accommodations for all of your out-of-town guests. Planning a day this special shouldn’t be left up to just anyone, but rather someone you can trust. Call 216-755-1911 and ask for Lauren Berkowitz Dicesare, Sales & Catering Manager, for help with all of your event needs.
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Metropark Marriage By Jessica Simon Enjoy the fall and winter outdoors with the amazing parks system Cleveland has to offer. The romantic, natural atmosphere leads to less fuss over dĂŠcor. And whether the wedding you are planning is still in the midst of the pandemic or not, the setting allows your guests to gather around in a socially distant fashion for a safe and laid-back feel. For the dress, think lace and sleeved to give the illusion of warmth, and add a fur or leather jacket for pictures. The groom can slip into a classic suit to contribute to the dreamy ambiance.
Kyle Lanzer / Cleveland Metroparks Squire’s Castle is a scenic Cleveland Metropark in Willoughby Hills, providing a beautiful backdrop for a fall or winter wedding.
Engagement ring from The Alson Signature Collection of Alson Jewelers, located in Woodmere Jett gown by All Who Wander from Brides by the Falls in Chagrin Falls Light brown Prescot Herringbone suit from Indochino in Orange 18 Celebrations Winter 2020
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Metropark Marriage
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20 Celebrations Winter 2020
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SPOTLIGHT HOW DID YOU ADAPT YOUR BAT MITZVAH IN RESPONSE TO THE PANDEMIC?
Elizabeth: I was originally going to have my bat mitzvah on June 27. As that date got closer, my parents and I talked about moving it to Aug. 29 with the hope that I could still celebrate in person with everyone. My rabbi gave me an additional verse in the Torah for the new date. As it got closer to August, travel bans were in place for New York and South Carolina, which is where my mom’s family is from. We talked about it with Rabbi (Allison) Vann and decided to do it all virtual. I was allowed 10 people in the temple with me. My parents, sister, grandmother and papa, uncle, my Hebrew tutor and best friend came to the temple to be there in person. My mom passed out the Zoom link to my family and friends so they could still be a part of it. I could still have people do reading and aliyah, but on Zoom. It was cool! I also had a “Torah cam,” which was my favorite part, so everyone could see the Torah I was reading from. Cantor Deb (Rogers) read some of the comments people were posting out loud. It was fun to hear them. After the temple service, we had some close family friends over for lunch. My parents got an ice cream truck to come to the house so my friends could come over for a little bit, wearing masks, for socially distant ice cream.
WHAT WAS THE BEST PART OF THE DAY?
Elizabeth: The best part was still being able to share my special day with my family and friends.
WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR OTHER YOUNG ADULTS PREPARING FOR THEIR BAR OR BAT MITZVAHS?
ELIZABETH KATZ
Elizabeth: I would say have fun! There is a lot of hard work that goes into it and you deserve to have it regardless of how it happens. Be flexible and go with the flow. It is amazing to be able to see it through and feel like you have reached your goal. The most important part is to be able to read from the Torah.
BAT MITZVAH: AUG. 29, 2020 SYNAGOGUE: SUBURBAN TEMPLE – KOL AMI CELEBRATION: DELAYED DUE TO COVID-19 AGE: 13 RESIDENCE: BEACHWOOD SCHOOL: BEACHWOOD MIDDLE SCHOOL
David Tavens / Natural Light Studio 22 Celebrations Winter 2020
“
Elizabeth persevered and was able to do it despite the challenges and disappointments the pandemic threw our way. We were so proud of the graceful way she handled every obstacle.
�
- Kerry Katz, mother
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CHANGE OF PLANS How the COVID-19 era has altered event planning – and why some trends might be here to stay
Too Much Awesomeness By Amanda Koehn
W
mostly new event, Cox says. Singerman and Cox discussed with Celebrations event planning during this strange new time, explaining how they’ve shifted and why intimate, smaller simchas may be here to stay. Their responses were edited for brevity and condensed.
Over the last several months, those professionals’ jobs have come to revolve around helping clients develop a new plan – or in some cases, several new plans – incorporate virtual aspects and enact safety and health precautions at smaller celebrations. Kim Singerman, founder and event director at Noteworthy Events in Solon and Cincinnati, says work is “steady,” yet most of the celebrations she’s planned recently – mostly weddings – have had 20 people or fewer. Still though, she says it feels good to be back at it. For Alison Quinn Cox, event consultant at Joe Mineo Creative in Youngstown, which plans events in Northeast and Central Ohio and Pittsburgh, there’s also been a rise in “last minute weddings.” “Maybe their venue cannot have the event anymore, and so now they’re looking to do their events in their backyard or on a friend’s property,” leading to planning a
How has your work shifted over the course of the pandemic? SINGERMAN: First, (it was) actually like shifting dates. I originally helped (couples) plan their wedding, and then all of a sudden we were postponing and re-planning on a new date. I have one client, where I (did) their little wedding on Oct. 3 in their house. That’s a third wedding (plan) for them. Their (first) wedding was June 27, we moved it to Nov. 21, Now, that wedding is not going to happen, so we rescheduled it to Oct. 3. But then we’re also having a big celebration without the ceremony next year. So that’s actually my fourth event for this family for the same wedding. It’s a little hectic. Needless to say I’m disappointed for my clients. There was a day back in, I want to say April, where I had six weddings postpone in two days. That’s a lot of juggling and redoing all the contracts. It’s finding a date, and finding the date that
hile the event planning industry back in March and April scrambled with cancellations due to the pandemic, now it’s back to work.
24 Celebrations Winter 2020
works for all of the vendors – which most of the time it did because we acted very quickly. COX: It’s been such a roller coaster of what’s going to happen next, and ensuring that our clients can still have a really great event, but it’s not going to be the one they imagined before. What kind of questions are you getting from clients now? SINGERMAN: They want to know what other people are doing, so I tell them about my other clients, without using their names. And I feel like they feel better because they know that they’re not in this alone. The main thing I do is just work hard to assure them that whatever we are going to do is done in a way they are comfortable with. And most importantly, however many guests they have, the guests that do decide to attend are comfortable and they feel like we’ve made efforts to keep people safe or protected. The state says you could have 300 guests at a wedding. That doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do. It doesn’t mean that your guests are going to feel comfortable. I know there are some people that are still doing it. I personally advised all of my clients – and that’s like 20 weddings – to postpone their weddings.
COX: The biggest concern is, should I postpone? They’re also asking how to have the celebration that they were used to before 2020. We’re telling them they need to make that decision based off of a few things. Is the date they had set for 2020 important? Then we will do everything in our power to make sure they have a wonderful event using social distancing guidelines. Even though during these six months we’ve seen some policies lifted, we’re still not seeing the pre-COVID days of events. For example, you are limited (in) dancing, you need to have things individually wrapped, you need the catering staff to serve the food instead of grabbing it on your own. We want to prepare you for what might happen if you have an event in 2020. And then, let’s pretend if you do postpone to 2021, we want you to be familiar with things that we are doing now. So, in case COVID continues into 2021, you are aware that things are going to be a little bit different. Say someone wants to have a big wedding. Do you have a date in mind you tell them to postpone until? COX: We do not unfortunately. We ask that they – as well as we – keep an eye on the government policies and the state’s policies. Unfortunately on Jan. 1, 2021, COVID isn’t going to disappear. I certainly hope that it gets better, and we just want to make sure they are aware of a plan A and a plan B. That’s the best thing you could do right now is prepare for the best in normal times, and prepare for the worst in the times of social distancing. SINGERMAN: I advise them to wait and see until at least spring 2021. I have a client whose (initial) wedding was May 17 (2020). We postponed it. They wanted to get to 2021, and they decided to do it on Martin Luther King Jr. Day weekend. They already decided not to have 150, but to have between 30 and 40 people. It’s a big reduction. We’re working with videographers to create private livestream URLs that (guests) can click on, that we send to only people who were already invited to the wedding. And then you give them the day and the time, just like a regular wedding, and they’re there watching – they’re just not there in person. Do you have a safe number in terms a guest list for right now? SINGERMAN: The largest wedding I’m personally doing right now is 50, and that is outside. There will not be chairs close to each other, and it is in a field. We’re calling it a pop-up wedding.
Too Much Awesomeness Genevieve Nisly Photography
If it were bad weather, they weren’t going to do it. And even outside I’m still going to have a sanitizing station. I just actually purchased masks and sanitizer, and I had a “please practice social distancing” sign made that will be out. I know there are weddings that use these colored wristbands. Green is, ‘I’ll talk to you,’ and then the yellow is more like, ‘I’d like to talk to you, but keep your distance,’ and no hugs. And then red is, ‘I’m here to see the wedding, but really don’t want to be in conversation or in close proximity with other guests.’ It’s a good idea. I talked them into doing take-home boxes with box favors, which will include a small bottle of either champagne or apple cider (for guests), and a cupcake sealed in a container. That’s in lieu of a reception. I just think that’s a little appreciation for their guests.
COX: We are seeing a downscale in guest count, and that is based off of the venue policies. Tables now need to be further apart. And so that is then creating what’s called a tier system. We’re encouraging that if they are sending a save-the-date, they have a plan for those guests that you would need to cut. So, sending a save the date for May 8, you want to say ‘We hope to have it May 8.’ Because if you’re sending it to 200 guests, you need to drop it to 150. Have a plan and make sure your guests know they might be cut, and it’s only because of the circumstances that they would ever be cut – not out of negativity. If you are concerned about guest count, find a larger venue that you wouldn’t normally (choose) – the more space there is to separate cocktails from dinner, dinner from dancing.
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Genevieve Nisly Photography
A RABBI’S VIEW
Park Synagogue’s Rabbi Skoff shares wisdom on pandemic celebrations
T
he start of the new decade was supposed to be remembered as the year many celebrated a monumental life milestone, not dredged through a global pandemic. As tyrannical COVID-19 ascended the throne in Ohio in March, engaged couples and b’nai mitzvah students were left wondering if their event could even happen due to widespread cancellations and safety precautions. Rabbi Joshua Hoffer Skoff, senior rabbi at Park Synagogue in Pepper Pike and Cleveland Heights, says weddings and b’nai mitzvahs can occur in this new, pandemic-controlled normal. He tells congregants seeking his counseling it’s all about stressing safety and listening to protective guidance to avoid digitizing, postponing or canceling events altogether. “It doesn’t have to be an either/or proposition,” Skoff says. “Unfortunately it is presented sometimes that it has to be either you’re being safe, or in other words, can you have interaction in terms of these lifecycle events? “It’s allowing families to share the important moments and connecting them to Judaism, and at the same time, being absolutely respectful of guidelines. It’s not compromising on those things.” When couples and parents of b’nai mitzvah students ask Skoff about the possibility of having in-person ceremonies during this time, the most important part
26 Celebrations Winter 2020
of his discussion is to cover the health and safety guidelines required to protect those in attendance. “We just state all the expectations in advance so that people see that we can be joyous and careful at the same time,” Skoff says. “To us, preservation of health is the number one Jewish value. It’s out of respect to the Jewish tradition we’re being safe and being able to celebrate some of these various lifecycle events.” Park Synagogue’s safety protocol for in-person events include: a guest list limited to a maximum of 25 people, everyone in attendance must wear a mask, guests are spaced in a socially distant manner, events are held outside unless prevented by weather, Skoff and the b’nai mitzvah student speak from behind a Plexiglass screen in front of the podium, the guest list must be submitted in advance and anyone not on it will be turned away, and each guest’s temperature will be checked. B’nai mitzvahs are held online in addition to in-person, so members of the congregation can attend virtually. The guidelines were created by the synagogue’s staff and advisers from University Hospitals and Cleveland Clinic to maximize Park Synagogue’s safety. But, Skoff says a new protocol will have to be crafted to cater to the winter months. As the length of the pandemic remains unknown, Skoff doesn’t encourage his congregants to postpone their celebrations. The events he’s been a part of since the pandemic – while divergent in nature from ceremonies held a year ago – have still felt identical at their core. “When we describe (attending the new lifecycle events and services), people say ... ‘How different that must be – that must be awful,’” Skoff says. “As much as it’s different, as the old adage goes, the much, much more it also feels the same.” - McKenna Corson
Are most of the weddings you’re planning ceremony only? SINGERMAN: Most of the other miniweddings I’m doing (have) a reception for the family. It’s a ceremony and then they’re having dinners and music, like a string quartet or other music for the ceremony, and then they play for dinner. What I think is, people are doing it up even more so because it’s such a small group – they can serve the best champagne or the best meal. So it’s easy to do that for 16 people, but you think twice before doing it for 300. So I feel like these little mini-weddings are pretty extravagant. So, it’s like they can go all out on the things that they are doing? SINGERMAN: Exactly. And a lot of times we’re using the same vendors, and some of them will negotiate – like using half of the time in 2020, and then the other part of the contract in 2021. So that way, (couples) didn’t have to, let’s say, pay for a photographer (or) videographer twice. I was able to create a timetable where we only used them where we really needed them this year, and then whatever remaining hours would go to the contract next year. COX: Those have become very popular and are (considered) micro-weddings – where you are having a small ceremony with a possible reception, and then you’re doing a larger party at the future date. Those have been very popular because you could do it in two ways: you can do a micro-wedding and call it quits, or you can do a small ceremony and then allow additional guests to Zoom or to watch online, or do a Facebook Live – something to keep your guests knowing that you still want to celebrate with them. What are some ways to get clients excited about smaller events? COX: We always encourage clients and tell them all events are special no matter what size and what you’re doing – whether it is a small sit-down dinner for 12 people, or a large reception. The day is still about you. We’re going to do what we can with those small details to make it as special as possible. For example, if you have a smaller guest count, you might have the budget to personalize menu settings or special fivecourse meals for each guest, or an individual wedding cake for each guest. You have an opportunity to personalize the experience for your guests and yourself. SINGERMAN: People are seeing that now on social media, so I do think that’s helping. Just because there are fewer people doesn’t mean it has to be simple. (For example), I arranged for car services for
“
To us, preservation of health is the No. 1 Jewish value. It’s out of respect to the Jewish tradition we’re being safe and being able to celebrate some of these various lifecycle events. - Rabbi Joshua Hoffer Skoff
”
Joey Kennedy Photography all the guests a couple weeks ago because they didn’t want their guests having some champagne and then driving. That’s a luxury. And they’re still wearing their dresses. I always tell them they’re lucky because most people get to wear it once – they get to wear it twice if they want. We’re still doing up the decor with beautiful linens and beautiful floral and bouquets. And we’re just really trying to make it more about them. My wedding a couple of weeks ago, my bride told me it was the perfect day. It was better because it was their closest family, and it was just like the most special evening where her two grandpas were there, and she actually got to sit and talk to them. Where when you have 250 or 300, every conversation is maybe a minute or two. This was an evening of meaningful speeches and her papas getting to see her. So, I think it’s more intimate and definitely as meaningful. What are some ways that you talk to your clients about politely enforcing social distancing, masking and cleanliness? COX: You always want to be as transparent as possible in your invitation. If wearing a mask is important to you, as well as the venue’s policy, please make sure you are putting that on your invitation. That way, every guest has a mask on and they know the policies are going to be enforced throughout the evening. You could also get personalized hand sanitizer with the bride
ijuliet photography and groom’s name on it. You could even create bathroom amenities that include customized soap, sanitizers, additional masks – things that are going to encourage the guests to take social distancing and sanitizing seriously. You could also create fun signage throughout the reception, you can create a hashtag. There are ways to social distance, but take it to the next level of having it being personal as well as fit to your wedding, so it doesn’t seem so corporate. Say you are invited to a wedding and you don’t feel comfortable going. Is there an appropriate way to handle situations like that? SINGERMAN: I think today it’s totally acceptable to tell someone you’re not comfortable because I think most important is everyone’s opinions and beliefs need to be respected, regardless of if you agree with it or not. You can’t be upset by someone who’s not comfortable coming to your big wedding. So the relationship with the person needs to be more important than whatever your belief is about them coming or not coming. Weddings are stressful enough, and then you add COVID on top of it. And I think that people need to be comfortable – the people giving the wedding, but also the people attending the wedding. Many of my couples or families say to me, ‘Whatever people do, it’s OK.’ And I think that’s the right way to be.
Do you think any of these changes will stick after the COVID-19 era? SINGERMAN: I definitely think the number of intimate weddings will increase. I am finding people are loving that experience. Now there are other people who want the 250-person wedding, and they’ll wait as long as it takes to have that wedding because that’s what’s important. Which is OK. But I feel that people in the future are going to look at this and see the value of having these intimate weddings. And it doesn’t mean you can’t celebrate later, but you need to celebrate safely. COX: I would say the idea of separating the different events that are happening at the reception. For example, finding a larger venue because when you have a larger venue, you have the opportunity to create new environments that look different. So you can have a cocktail dinner space with a small dance floor for your special dances. Have that space look one way, and then you can invite the guests into a completely different room for dancing and dessert, and have that look like an after party or have that design look a completely different way. So it’s allowing the bride and groom to show off their personality and more than one look through the night to keep the guests intrigued and wondering if there are any more surprises ahead. Publisher’s note: Kim Singerman is the wife of Paul Singerman, a member of the Cleveland Jewish Publication Company board of directors.
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SPOTLIGHT
CHAYA ABELOW & RABBI NOAH LEAVITT WEDDING DAY JAN. 5, 2020 DAVID CITADEL HOTEL | JERUSALEM TODAY AGES: 36 AND 34 RESIDENCE: BEACHWOOD SYNAGOGUE: OHEB ZEDEK CEDAR SINAI SYNAGOGUE (NOAH IS SENIOR RABBI THERE) 28 Celebrations Winter 2020
Shabi Kedem
HOW DID YOU MEET? We met through the JSwipe dating app.
DO YOU HAVE ANY INTERESTING STORIES TO SHARE ABOUT GETTING TO KNOW ONE ANOTHER? I (Chaya) was a few minutes late for our first date and Noah was already sitting inside. When I arrived the hostess asked “Are you here to meet your husband?” After our third date, Noah moved to Cleveland and I stayed in New York. We dated long distance for a year and a half, it included a lot of time at Hopkins, LaGuardia and on Zoom.
HOW LONG DID YOU KNOW EACH OTHER BEFORE YOU GOT MARRIED? We dated for a year and half before getting married.
WHEN DID YOU KNOW YOU WANTED TO MARRY YOUR PARTNER?
Chaya: I knew after I came to see Noah one weekend, he had the flu so we couldn’t do anything, but I was still happy to just spend time with him. Noah: My first year in Cleveland my family came for Passover, it was very stressful, but Chaya kept me calm and helped me make Passover for my entire family.
WHAT WAS THE BEST PART OF WEDDING PLANNING?
Chaya: Picking out my dress. Noah: Living in Cleveland, while Chaya and our mothers were in New York.
WAS THERE ANY SPOT-ON ADVICE YOU RECEIVED PRIOR TO THE BIG DAY, EITHER IN TERMS OF THE WEDDING OR LASTING RELATIONSHIP? Wedding planning is stressful, but just keep putting one foot in front of the other. When you get under the chuppah, it’s just the two of you.
WERE THERE ANY CONFLICTS BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU OR YOUR FAMILIES IN THE PLANNING PROCESS? DID EITHER OF YOU HAVE TO MAKE ANY SACRIFICES? My (Chaya’s) family is Orthodox and Noah’s family isn’t, so they had different ideas about what a wedding should look like. Everyone had to compromise a little bit, and in the end, everyone loved the way it turned out. Having the wedding in Israel was incredible, but it meant many of our friends and family couldn’t attend.
WHAT WAS THE MOST FUN OR INTERESTING JEWISH ASPECT OF YOUR WEDDING/PARTNERSHIP? We got married overlooking the Old City in Jerusalem.
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“
Just before we broke the glass under the chuppah, Rabbi Segal reminded us that 2,500 years ago the prophet Jeremiah looked out on the ruins of the First Temple and declared his faith that the sounds of weddings would once again be heard in Jerusalem. People must have thought he was crazy, Rabbi Segal said, but our wedding overlooking the walls of Jerusalem was a testament to his faith and hope in the future. At that moment, we felt a deep sense of connection with the history of Jerusalem and to the continuity of the Jewish people. Given how much the world changed just a few months later, we feel incredibly blessed to have celebrated our wedding in Jerusalem surrounded by so many family and friends. - Chaya
”
PLANNING
Officiant: Rabbi Dani Segal Wedding Colors: Champagne and Pink Dress: Pronovias; Miri Veil: Miri Shoes: Nina; Lord & Taylor Hair and Makeup: Avital & Avital Ketubah: Ketubah.com Photographer and Videographer: Shabi Kedem Planner/Consultant: Eve Kaminitz Reception and Catering: David Citadel Hotel Invitations/Stationery: Rise Kaufmann Music/Entertainment: Netanel Kuperman Honeymoon: “We were supposed to go to Australia on March 11. We were flying through LAX and on our flight to LA, (President Donald) Trump announced the travel ban with Europe. We decided to stay in LA for a few days, and then return to Cleveland.”
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New Image Photography / Walden
Social
(distanced)
Spaces
Venues offer visions for celebrations this year and beyond By Skylar Dubelko
W
hen COVID-19 reached the United States earlier this year, Shoreby Club in Bratenahl reached out to every bride who had planned a 2020 wedding at the venue. “We asked them if they wanted to keep their date or reschedule for 2021, and we didn’t book any new events until all of our brides and bigger events with deposits down got the opportunity to reschedule,” Banquet Manager Cassandra Mendenhall explains. “After we did that, we filled in our calendar for 2021. Almost every date we had
32 Celebrations Winter 2020
originally booked that moved was filled in with a smaller event.” Although weekends remained booked, it wasn’t quite business as usual at Shoreby Club throughout the ongoing pandemic. The venue’s tent capacity went down from 200 to 125, and guests and staff alike were forced to adjust to the new normal – social distancing, face coverings and constant sanitation. Mendenhall says there has been a bit of dithering from guests when it comes to mask compliance, but otherwise they have taken the changes in stride. “The masks are always a little bit of a push back – nobody wants to wear the
mask – but honestly, for the most part we haven’t had too much,” Mendenhall says. “People are trying to make it their new normal and get on with their lives and still be able to celebrate different events.” Mendenhall describes Shoreby Club as having a “historic feel” and the area’s “best lakefront view.” She says she has enjoyed the smaller, more intimate vibe that has become commonplace in 2020. While the venue has not hosted any bar, bat or b’nai mitzvahs this year, Mendenhall says she has seen a rise in Jewish weddings at the mansion. “I think people have been a lot more creative in what they’re doing now and it’s been really fun to see,” Mendenhall says. She
Landerhaven
used the hora as one example. “We had one wedding that was super creative and got pool noodles and cut them to socially distance and put handles on them,” Mendenhall says. “Everybody held a handle on a pool noodle, so everybody was spaced out, socially distanced, still wore their masks, but they got to do their special dance still.” Shoreby Club offered that solution to other events, and according to Mendenhall, did the hora with pool noodles multiple times this year. “We’ve had a couple of weddings that have marked off spaces on the dance floor,” Mendenhall says. “So one person or a couple can dance in that space and stay socially distant from everyone.” Shoreby Club was not the only Northeast Ohio celebration venue that had to improvise this year. For Walden in Aurora, bar, bat and b’nai mitzvahs were also moved to next year. Larger weddings the venue had on its books were either scaled down or rescheduled, but the venue, which boasts many outdoor spaces, accommodated smaller
New Image Photography / Walden Winter 2020 Celebrations
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Genevieve Nisly Photography / Rock The House
weddings. “Our business wasn’t as affected as many other places because we had the space to social distance,” says Managing Partner Robert Rosencrans. “If someone felt uncomfortable, they postponed it to next year.” Rosencrans says most Saturdays in 2021 are booked, but plenty of Fridays, Sundays and weekdays are still available. Describing Walden as a venue that embraces nature and leans towards outdoor celebrations, he says it is the opposite of the “boxy reception facility that most places are.” “That’s really what makes us different,” Rosencrans adds. He said most clients took COVID-19 limitations for granted and were understanding if and when they had to modify their event. “But they still celebrated and that was what was beautiful,” Rosencrans says. “I think people looked at us as comforting because
34 Celebrations Winter 2020
of our hospitality attitude and the way we treat people, and I think that, at the end of the day, that’s why we’ve thrived even in the worst of times, because people felt comfortable with how we would operate under these trying times.” And despite the unknown time frame for the pandemic and what that means for future events, venues are also preparing for the day when the pandemic eases up. Driftwood Restaurants and Catering President Christopher Hodgson says he does not think the current necessary COVID-19 guidelines will be around a year from now. The company recently purchased Landerhaven in Mayfield Heights from founder and president Harlan Diamond, who sold it after running the business for 60 years. “As we continue to see things loosen up, people will get back to their normal event life sooner rather than later,” Hodgson says. Due to Landerhaven’s size, Hodgson says
the venue has been able to accommodate “well thought-out weddings without guests having to sacrifice things like dance floors or guests,” while following Ohio Gov. Mike DeWine’s guidelines to a tee. “Many venues have struggled because they can’t accommodate the 300 guests in a safe manner – we haven’t had that issue because of all the different spaces and size of Landerhaven,” Hodgson explains. He notes the venue’s indoor and outdoor spaces are about to be completely renovated and even went as far as to say, when people come back to Landerhaven, they will not recognize the well-known location. “We are fortunate enough that, even during these difficult times of socially distancing, we have rooms large enough to keep guests safe and properly distanced,” Hodgson adds. “One of our greatest focuses is on service – elevating the level of service that guests receive in the event industry.”
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SPOTLIGHT HOW DID YOU ADAPT YOUR BAT MITZVAH AS A RESULT OF THE PANDEMIC?
Ariel: Instead of going to Israel with my extended family and having my bat mitzvah at the Wall, we held my bat mitzvah in my home and shared it via Zoom with family, friends and Montefiore residents (Ariel’s father, Seth Vilensky, is former president and CEO of Montefiore, and vice president of business development and community services at Menorah Park in Beachwood). We had a lunch celebration outside afterwards for my immediate family.
WHAT WAS THE BEST PART OF THE DAY? Ariel: Reading from the Torah.
WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR OTHER YOUNG ADULTS PREPARING FOR THEIR BAR OR BAT MITZVAHS?
Ariel: If you are holding your bar or bat mitzvah online, try to stay focused and not be surprised about weird sounds on Zoom. Also, keep in mind having an online bat mitzvah allows more friends and family to attend from around the world.
ARIEL BROOKE VILENSKY BAT MITZVAH: JUNE 18, 2020 SYNAGOGUE: SOLON CHABAD OFFICIANT: RABBI STACEY NOLISH BLANK OF REFORM/ PROGRESSIVE KEHILAT TZUR HADASSAH IN JERUSALEM, VIA ZOOM CELEBRATION: ARIEL’S BACKYARD AGE: 12 RESIDENCE: SOLON SCHOOL: SOLON MIDDLE SCHOOL
Sandy Lieberman and Emily Vilensky 36 Celebrations Winter 2020
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Watching Ariel do such a beautiful job and knowing that so many family and friends were sharing in our celebration (was the best part of the day).
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– Parents Emily and Seth Vilensky
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Pulling together all aspects of a celebration was complicated enough prior to the pandemic, which has thrown nearly all events off course. Fortunately though, local experts offer advice for executing each part of the big day in a way suited for today’s world. By Becky Raspe
CATERING DINNER PACI ELBAUM
PARTNER MILKY WAY VEGETARIAN CAFE & PKC CATERING BEACHWOOD WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO GET RIGHT? What is most important is what the person themselves – whether that is the mitzvah child or the couple – finds important. What do they enjoy or what does their family enjoy? A lot of people spend so much time trying to create an event that is going to be viewed well by others. If this is something you like to eat, go with that. If you go to an event and you like the dinner, great. But if you don’t, you talk about it for maybe 10 seconds, and then that is that. But if it’s your event and you don’t like the food, you’re going to regret that every time you think about it.
HOW SHOULD FAMILIES PLAN FOR THE DINNER MENU?
Mexican street-style corn salad, orange soy salmon sashimi salad and an orecchiette pasta with mock crab. Dessert table with assorted pastries and fruit.
The biggest thing is to take a deep breath. Most caterers will give you options and walk you through it. If you’re hiring someone like that, trust their opinion. We’ve done this hundreds of times before.
WHAT IS OFTEN OVERLOOKED? The biggest thing is not necessarily so much the food but more so the function of the event timewise. It is easy to say that people don’t really understand what it takes for caterers to do what they do. With a mitzvah or wedding, if you start a half hour late, that throws off the entire event schedule. It won’t flow as easily if you don’t let your caterer know ahead of time.
WHEN SHOULD FAMILIES START PLANNING FOR CATERING? Within the local community, events are starting to come back and the dates are booking up insanely quick. It’s not just for me, other caterers are also booked months in advance too. So, step one is if you know it is coming up, make the call as soon as you can. Then, you have the time to go to step two: working with everyone to come up with the proper game plan.
With COVID-19, the individual aspect is almost a must. With “buffets, having mini mousse cups or fruit martinis, or like individual
Preferred Kosher Catering 38 Celebrations Winter 2020
egg rolls in their own bowls. It’s become the standard. As far as food goes, a big motivation we have is innovation. I don’t try to push the same product out at every event. It’s about moving on to the next thing and trying something new for each client. - Paci Elbaum
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WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO GET RIGHT?
CATERING
DESSERT JOEL AND JAY DAVIS
PRESIDENT AND VICE PRESIDENT OF OPERATIONS DAVIS BAKERY WOODMERE AND WARRENSVILLE HEIGHTS
Joel Davis: Our goal is to give the customer exactly what they want, or as close as we can get to that. We want the celebrant to be happy with what they’re getting, and that is the best quality and freshest as we possibly can do it. Jay Davis: We also want to have that “wow” factor, but we also want the flavor of our product to pop and stick out. Dessert is typically the last meal you’re eating at these types of events, so we want the memory of those last bites to stick with them through the rest of the event.
HOW DOES DESSERT IMPACT THE PARTY ATMOSPHERE?
Joel: Again, it is one of the last things you eat before dancing starts and people are going to remember that. With so many desserts, you go to a restaurant and it looks fantastic. But once you taste it, you’re left feeling underwhelmed. We try to go to the other extreme – where it looks really good but tastes even better.
HOW SHOULD FAMILIES PLAN FOR THE DESSERT COURSE?
Joel: For a mitzvah, parents will come in and explain what the child wants but in reality, they’re telling you what they want instead of what the kid really wants. So, since it is the kid’s day, whatever they want for a dessert, the parents should go with that. Too many parents make it their event when it is about the kid – or the bride and groom, the same can be said for them.
WHAT ARE THE CURRENT TRENDS?
Jay: Especially now in the pandemic, everyone is looking for individually packaged desserts. I’ve done a few trays at the store that feature bigger pieces, or maybe more spacing so items can be easily picked up with tongs without touching anything else. Joel: We’re also doing a lot more cupcake cakes, where (the cake) is made from a series of cupcakes. This also allows people to pick up an individual dessert instead of slicing into something and grabbing a piece.
WHAT IS OFTEN OVERLOOKED?
Joel: A realistic idea and price. Customers all watch TV shows and come in with pictures from those shows and say it’s what they want. But what they’re showing us feeds 400 to 500 people and their event is only for 150 people. So, even after downsizing it, the cost could still be high because of the extravagant work done, which translates into labor hours and skill. So, you really want to come into it with a realistic idea.
WHEN SHOULD FAMILIES BEGIN PLANNING?
Four-tier naked cake with real floral accents. Dress-themed cupcake cake with jewelry sash accent made for a bridal shower. Davis Bakery
Joel: Sometimes we can accommodate customers on short notice, but that is not the preferred way to do it. Ideally, we book three to four months in advance and we will do a cut off once we book a certain number of projects. But we can do a project in less than a week if we do have a time slot available for that.
“
Listen to what the celebrant wants. Have an idea and a list of your top dessert options and have a realistic budget in mind. That makes the consultation process easier when the customer has an idea of what they want before approaching us. - Jay Davis
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40 Celebrations Winter 2020
ENTERTAINMENT JEFF DICK
WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO GET RIGHT?
PARTNER AND PRESIDENT ZONE ENTERTAINMENT OAKWOOD VILLAGE Zone Entertainment
A bar/bat mitzvah should really be thought of as two parties in one. You have a group of younger guests alongside their parents and grandparents, all enjoying the same atmosphere together. Laying out the entertainment to captivate both audiences at once is what simcha entertainment is all about. For weddings, these events need to capture the personality of the bride and groom. Similar to anything else in life, everyone has a unique style and finding the perfect blend of energy, formality and fun is key to an overall successful wedding.
HOW DOES ENTERTAINMENT IMPACT THE PARTY ATMOSPHERE? Entertainment sets the tone and energy level of the entire event. From the moment your guests step into the event, they are experiencing the stimuli around them which creates the atmosphere. Think of the last in-person event you recently attended. What sticks out most in your mind a week later or six months later? After you pass by the decor and eat dinner, you are left with entertainment as your largest contributing factor distinguishing a great event from an incredible one.
HOW CAN ENTERTAINMENT BE USED IN UNIQUE WAYS? One of the first questions I ask any of our new guests for a bar/bat mitzvah is “tell me about your child’s likes and interests?” This is because I want to incorporate elements special to the guest of honor whenever possible throughout the entire planning phase. For a wedding, I ask questions about the couple, find out their interests and what they like to do together. This acts as a great guiding force in creating the best-possible overall customized experience.
WHAT IS OFTEN OVERLOOKED? A well rounded entertainment experience for all guests in attendance. Not everyone enjoys a dance party, however, many of your guests will. I suggest a more rounded approach to your entertainment lineup, including a DJ/MC dance package, photo-favor system and an “extra” of choice to allow as many guests as possible to be entertained.
WHEN SHOULD FAMILIES START PLANNING? Sooner is always better than later. Many of our mitzvah guests initially reach out to us 12 to 18 months in advance, if not sooner. Securing your date early not only allows you first choice on extras, as well as a higher booking slot for first choice on performers.
Zone Entertainment events prior to the pandemic. Discovery Photo
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PIECE OF ADVICE? Being open minded about planning an event in 2020 and not to panic. In addition to that, be different, be unique and create an event that is special and unique to you and your family. Many simchas have similar elements, but there are so many ways you can put a unique spin on it. The little details are what your guests and child will remember long after the party is complete.
In this world of uncertainty, when it comes to in-person events, adding “different virtual components are the latest craze. Being able to create an
in-person/online hybrid option for guests who may not be able to travel or attend in person is a wonderful option. - Jeff Dick
”
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STATIONERY
HOW DO INVITATION STYLES DIFFER FOR VARIOUS TYPES OF SIMCHAS?
AMY FINKENTHAL OWNER NOTERIETY INVITATIONS BEACHWOOD
Obviously the invites differ because with mitzvahs, parents are much more involved. These days for weddings, brides and grooms want to be just as involved as their parents historically would’ve been in their wedding planning. They have a lot more opinions than many years ago and they’re looking at the world in a different light – like with saving paper or not lining an envelope, and making things cleaner.
HOW DOES STATIONERY SET THE TONE FOR AN EVENT? If someone is having a less formal event, then there is going to be a less formal feel and font, as well as wording and graphics for that. The stock also makes a difference. If the card stock is thicker, that can mean a more formal event. Also, the way things are worded can contribute to the tone. Adding an entree choice box or putting attire requirements can also give a more formal feel. So, it can all definitely set the tone, even down to the color.
WHAT ARE SOME UNIQUE WAYS PARENTS AND COUPLES CAN PERSONALIZE THEIR INVITES? You can actually put the guest’s name within the copy of the invitation and invite each person separately within the wording of the invite. That does set a tone for the level of personalization going into the event. Calligraphy is another thing they can do to make it their own.
WHAT IS OFTEN OVERLOOKED? They should do their homework and think twice about ordering invites and paper products online. Some people think if they order online, they can save money, but that is not true. Some of these online companies make you buy before you print and I think that can be dangerous because you don’t get to see the quality. Working with someone in person allows you to feel the product, touch it and see that everything is done correctly, right in person. It should not be stressful, it should be fun. Also, you should allow for different views, whether that is with the mitzvah kid or a bride/groom. Everyone has different ideas for what they want, so it’s about hitting a stride and being open to compromise.
Noteriety at the Hamptons
WHEN SHOULD PEOPLE BEGIN COORDINATING INVITES? It is the same time frame for either event – mitzvahs or weddings. Some people would want a year in advance to get a conversation on the books about what to expect, but no more than six months before is when you should get going on the process. After that, there is the fun stuff like personalized seating placements, cocktail napkins and programs.
WHAT IS YOUR BEST PIECE OF ADVICE FOR THOSE STARTING THE PROCESS? Go online and get a feel for what is out there, tagging things you like, even if it is all over the place. That can be colors, fonts and layouts. Then, bring those ideas to a professional. It gives them a good starting point.
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Right now with mitzvahs, it’s still all about color, format and fun. For weddings, things have become simpler. Years ago, it was all about glitter and bows. Now, it’s more about quality with a focus on simplicity. A lot of the ‘froufrou’ has gone away. – Amy Finkenthal
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WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO GET RIGHT WHEN PHOTOGRAPHING A LIFECYCLE EVENT?
PHOTOGRAPHY STEPHANIE UPTMOR PHOTOGRAPHER AND OWNER IMAGINE IT PHOTOGRAPHY CLEVELAND
The most important thing to get right is not just one thing. Getting fantastic shots of the ceremony/main event is vital, but also the family groups. They may be together for the first time in years. These photographs are often priceless in years to come.
HOW CAN PHOTOGRAPHY BE USED IN UNIQUE WAYS? Photography can bring people together. We photographed a wedding once where the bride and groom gave strict instructions to all their guests – that they had to have a photo taken with someone they did not know in order to get a drink coupon or some other treat. The laughs and the hilarious combinations of guest posing for their pictures was wonderful. It kept up all through the reception and was such a great way to have people meet each other.
WHAT IS OFTEN OVERLOOKED? Making sure to work closely with the guest of honor, whether it’s a bride, groom, child or parents, etc. Find out who is important to them. Be sure to photograph mom with her best friends, or the bride with her favorite teacher. The guest “who should not be missed” is not always the obvious guest. If we want our clients to remember the event as it was, it’s important for us to capture it in the perspective of our clients.
ARE THERE ANY CURRENT TRENDS TO NOTE? Everyone is loving the more “candid” look of images. We often hear this from our clients. Again, this goes along with having a good eye and anticipating the moments.
WHEN SHOULD FAMILIES BEGIN PLANNING EVENT PHOTOGRAPHY? Most photographers, but not all, are limited to one event per day. So if you know your style and what you want in a photographer, booking early is advised. We book most of our events a year or more out.
Imagine It Photography
HOW SHOULD FAMILIES GO ABOUT CHOOSING THE RIGHT PHOTOGRAPHER FOR THEIR VISION? When looking to hire a photographer for your event, be sure to look at several so you can see and be aware of the different styles, not only in photography, but in editing the images. Do you like your pictures overexposed, dark and moody, or more natural to the way the day looked? Do you want your images to be trendy or more classic? Of course all those details matter, but also liking and getting along with your photographer is important. You may be spending a full day with them. So, be sure to correspond and even meet them while making your hiring decision.
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At any special event that brings people together, as a photographer, it’s important to capture not only the big moments, but also the smaller interactions between the families. The laughs, the silliness and the serious moments often tell more about the event than the staged ones. It is so important to watch people, to be able predict the moments. – Stephanie Uptmor
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SYNAGOGUE
WHAT SHOULD THE PLANNING PROCESS LOOK LIKE?
RABBI NAPHTALI BURNSTEIN AND RENA GREENFELD SENIOR RABBI AND OFFICE MANAGER YOUNG ISRAEL OF GREATER CLEVELAND BEACHWOOD
Burnstein: (Rena) is the one that arranges the dates and puts all the pieces together. If there is a religious component they are looking for in terms of setting up wedding details, they’d come to me. For mitzvahs, sometimes we work with families and sometimes they just follow the regular process. Greenfeld: When an initial call comes and someone wants to schedule an event, like a mitzvah, they’d call a year or two in advance. The first thing to ask is if the calendar is clear for their preferred date. My first job is to check that date, making sure it is clear for what they want exactly. I also get more information, like contacts, rental rates and other family questions. I also go over who their caterer and other vendors are, explaining that we also have an in-house caterer. So, if it is far off, I get that initial information and then revisit it later. If it is a close event, like a bris for example, you only have under a week’s notice from the call. That takes some quick organization. Families just need to be on top of the details as they can get away from you.
WHAT IS OFTEN OVERLOOKED?
Outside view of the synagogue Young Israel of Greater Cleveland
Burnstein: With a wedding or a mitzvah, depending on the background of the family and how familiar they are with traditions, we always have to remind ourselves that they might not have the same background as us. So, you might have to walk them through the steps sometimes, whether it is a wedding or mitzvah. Mitzvahs are pretty standard, but it comes down to what choices they’re making. Again, depending on their background and what they’re used to, they might consider education on what an Orthodox wedding or mitzvah looks like.
WHEN SHOULD THE PLANNING PROCESS BEGIN?
Greenfeld: It differs for both weddings and mitzvahs. With mitzvahs, families know when their child is going to come of age. So, they know to carve out the time to make those decisions and plans in advance. In terms of weddings and our experience in an Orthodox synagogue, there really isn’t that much advanced notice. When a couple gets engaged, they typically aren’t waiting a year to get married, more like three to eight months. So, in our experiences, couples will contact us immediately and in some cases, before their engagement, to see what is available.
Young Israel of Greater Cleveland’s social hall Debbie Small
WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF PLANNING?
Greenfeld: For a mitzvah, I would say the most important thing would be to make sure the child is studying. Also, what kind of service the child is going to conduct. Those choices take planning. You can’t have them deciding a week before what part of the service they want to do. Burnstein: With a wedding, my philosophy is to always turn to whoever the officiating rabbi is. I’m a strong believer that whoever the officiating rabbi is, they’re the one who should be making the decisions as long as he is doing that in the Orthodox manner. So, just be sure to converse with them.
tell people that it’s like an out of body experience. So, “tryI toalways not miss out on your family’s simchas. If you get so bogged
down and caught up in details, you could miss the enjoyment of it. It can go very quickly. - Rabbi Naphtali Burnstein
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SPOTLIGHT
Lauren Gabrielle Photography
ALYSSA ROTHSTEIN & ALEX GITERMAN WEDDING DAY JUNE 13, 2020 GITERMAN FAMILY HOME | SOLON TODAY AGES: BOTH 27 RESIDENCE: CLEVELAND SYNAGOGUE: THE TEMPLE-TIFERETH ISRAEL 46 Celebrations Winter 2020
HOW DID YOU MEET?
WHAT WAS YOUR ORIGINAL WEDDING PLAN?
We both signed up for the same Birthright trip to Israel through Hillel at Ohio State. We were talking at a party and realized we both were interested in going, but I (Alyssa) was nervous about traveling. We eventually exchanged numbers and went to the trip orientation together.
We had a wedding planned for 225 people at The Ritz-Carlton, Cleveland. Instead, we had a backyard wedding for 20 people. We hope to one day celebrate with our closest friends and family, but we know we made the right decision by getting married during the pandemic and starting our lives together!
DO YOU HAVE ANY INTERESTING STORIES TO SHARE ABOUT GETTING TO KNOW ONE ANOTHER? We didn’t meet until college, but we actually both went to The Temple-Tifereth Israel growing up. Neither of us remember each other from temple though. Our families also lived eight minutes away from each other, near the Orange/Solon border.
HOW LONG DID YOU KNOW EACH OTHER BEFORE YOU GOT MARRIED? We met when we were 20 and dated for seven years.
WHEN DID YOU KNOW YOU WANTED TO MARRY YOUR PARTNER?
Alyssa: I knew Alex was special when we met at a difficult time in my life and he brought me comfort. I had a feeling he was more than just a college boyfriend because I was always imagining our lives together post-college. Now, I can’t even remember a time before him. Alex: When we graduated college and moved back to Cleveland together we were able to spend more quality time together. I realized it wasn’t just a college relationship with Alyssa, it was something much more.
HOW DID THE PANDEMIC AFFECT YOUR WEDDING PLAN AND WEDDING DAY? The pandemic caused us to cancel our original wedding plans. Everything actually shut down the day after my bridal shower in March, and we never imagined we would have to cancel our wedding. We went through many different possibilities of moving the wedding or canceling altogether, but we ultimately wanted the same thing – to just be married. We decided our date meant so much to us and we didn’t want to wait months or even years to get married.
WHAT DID THE PANDEMIC AFFECT MOST? We had to cancel our honeymoon to Italy. Alex had spent many months planning our trip and we were so disappointed to cancel. We still hope to go one day.
WAS THERE ANY SPOT-ON ADVICE YOU RECEIVED PRIOR TO THE BIG DAY, EITHER IN TERMS OF THE WEDDING OR LASTING RELATIONSHIP? When deciding what to do about the wedding at the beginning of the pandemic, our closest family told us life is too short and unpredictable to wait, and a wedding is just one day in your lives. The marriage is what you both want, and they were right.
WERE THERE ANY CONFLICTS BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU OR YOUR FAMILIES IN THE PLANNING PROCESS? DID EITHER OF YOU HAVE TO MAKE ANY SACRIFICES? We both were the first of our siblings to get married, and we are both from Cleveland, so there were a lot of people we wanted to invite. I (Alyssa) think our moms had more trouble cutting down their lists than we did.
WHAT WAS THE MOST FUN OR INTERESTING JEWISH ASPECT OF YOUR WEDDING/PARTNERSHIP? We were very excited to sign our ketubah. It really is such a beautiful, meaningful aspect of our religion, and I told Alex from the beginning that I was really looking forward to signing it together.
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Officiant: Cantor Kathryn Wolfe Sebo Wedding Colors: Cream with Greenery Dress: Monique Lhuillier Wedding rings: MLG Jewelry and Taylor’s Fine Jewelry Jewelry: Borrowed from Alyssa’s Aunt Lori Shoes: Jimmy Choo Hair: Funke Hair Body Soul Makeup: Danielle Richman Groom’s formalwear: Banana Republic Bouquet/Flowers: Stems Fleur Ketubah: Melanie Dankowicz Chuppah: Rented from The Temple, constructed by Todd Giterman, father of groom Photographer: Lauren Gabrielle Photography Videographer: Toast Wedding Films Reception and ceremony: Giterman family home Cake/Sweets: Casa Dolce Catering: Anne August Creative Catering Invitations/Stationery: Amy Finkenthal Registries: Crate & Barrel, Bed Bath & Beyond, La Bella Vita Extras: Special thank you to our moms, Shari and Joni, for making our wedding day special and beautiful!
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The ketubah signing was the best moment of our wedding day. It was the moment when everything became surreal as we were surrounded by our closest friends and family. Our parents each said a few words to us, sharing their blessing of our marriage, and it all began to feel very real.
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- Alyssa
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HORA
Mariana Edelman Photography & Design
Dylan Hershey, 13, celebrated his bar mitzvah with a party March 14, 2020, at Play Arcade + Kitchen in Mayfield Heights – just before many such events were canceled due to the pandemic. It was also the last event held at Play before it closed permanently earlier this year. His ceremony took place at Temple Emanu El in Orange. Dylan attends Solon Middle School and resides in Solon. “We are truly blessed to have the support of so many of our family and friends to support our family for Dylan’s simcha. I cried countless times the week leading up the event, as the world’s pandemic was taking over daily life ... cancellations and uncertainty was evident. But we beamed with pride as our son stood on the bimah that morning, reading from the Torah. I realized that at that moment, all of my worries melted away – Dylan became a bar mitzvah as planned.” – Darcy Hershey, mother
50 Celebrations Winter 2020