Balanced Family Spring 2018

BALANCED

SPRING ISSUE | 2018

FAMILY BALANCEDMAG.COM

HEALTH | WELLNESS | PARENTING | LIVING

Season to explore

Spring is the perfect time to escape the indoors to explore and learn at a local nature center

INSIDE: THE POWER OF PLAY 10 | BONDING WITH GRANDCHILDREN 14 | PREVENTING BULLYING 16

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INSIDE BALANCEDKIDS

Family Matters

4

LET’S GO EXPLORING

Editor Michael C. Butz discusses how enjoyable it can be – for both children and adults – to take a walk in the park

Feature story

20 FOSTERING FAMILY

At a time when Northeast Ohio has a growing need for foster parents, a Vermilion family provides a loving example for aspiring families to follow

On the cover: Cover photo by Dave Brown Images courtesy of Nature Center at Shaker Lakes

6

Four young visitors of the Nature Center at Shaker Lakes walk in the Doan Brook, a part of which flows through the nature center’s 20 acres in Shaker Heights.

6

SEASON TO EXPLORE

Spring is the perfect time to escape the indoors to explore and learn at a local nature center

10 POWER OF PLAY

For toddlers, playtime offers an ability to develop social, motor and cognitive skills

14 BUILDING BONDS

When grandparents and grandchildren form strong relationships, the benefits are long-lasting and worthwhile

BALANCEDADULTS 16 BULLY PULPIT

Parents and educators play key communication roles when identifying, preventing bullying among children

18 IN THE MARKET

Millennials seeking to buy a house can likely score a deal in Ohio, but planning is still key

BALANCEDBODY&MIND

24 PROJECTING POSITIVELY

Experts agree modeling a positive body image is important for children, but it’s not always that simple for parents who struggle with their own

28 CHANGE OF HEART

A new guideline means more U.S. adults will be diagnosed with high blood pressure, but doctors say healthier lifestyle choices can help

30 SUNDAY SLEEP DAY?

‘Sunday fun day’ isn’t necessarily to blame, but weekend schedules that alter bedtimes are a reason some have trouble sleeping on Sundays

balancedmag.com

SPRING 2018 | BALANCEDFAMILY | 3

BALANCED

FAMILYMATTERS FROM MICHAEL C. BUTZ

Let’s go exploring W

hen you’re a child, there are few better ways to spend a spring or summer afternoon than by exploring nature at a park or the woods near your house. Heck, even as an adult, taking a hike somewhere that lets you disconnect from day-to-day responsibilities for a few hours is an enjoyable experience.

Still, when you’re a child, the experience seems to hold just a bit more awe and wonder.

Being small in stature means the terrain in front of you seems much vaster and that you’re closer to all the mysterious plants and interesting bugs you might encounter, and your relative youth means there’s more to learn and discover along the way. Forks in a path you’re walking result in what feel like monumental decisions, and each visit to a park feels like a new adventure on which to embark.

Thinking about this, I reminisce about my own exploratory experiences at Havre Woods Park in Ravenna. I also fondly recall the final Calvin and Hobbes comic strip.

In that Dec. 31, 1995 strip, the imaginative title characters express wonder about new possibilities while walking through a picturesque, snow-covered

forest, and they conclude the comic series by exclaiming “Let’s go exploring!”

In Balanced Family, we regularly encourage families to explore by taking advantage of Northeast Ohio’s great park systems, like the Cuyahoga Valley National Park, Cleveland Metroparks, the Geauga Park District, Lake Metroparks, Lorain County Metro Parks, Medina County Park District and Summit Metro Parks.

This issue is no different, though we take a slightly different approach. On Page 6, we highlight a few of the nature centers in Greater Cleveland: Lake Erie Nature & Science Center in Bay Village, Nature Center at Shaker Lakes in Shaker Heights and five nature centers overseen by Cleveland Metroparks. All are wonderful resources that offer structured learning opportunities as well as time for family bonding.

4 | BALANCEDFAMILY | SPRING 2018

Also in this issue, we visit with Angelique Yost of Vermilion, a wonderful woman who’s served as a foster parent to more than 70 children over the years, some of whom she’s adopted. On Page 20, you’ll meet her family — and you’ll learn why, now more than ever, the need for foster parents is critical in Northeast Ohio.

You’ll also read about how to prevent bullying among children, building better bonds between grandparents and grandchildren, and why providing children with fewer toys might be better for them in the long run.

And then when you’re finished reading, I encourage you to round up your family, head outside and go exploring.

FAMILY Editor Michael C. Butz editor@balancedmag.com Designer Jessica Simon

President & CEO Kevin S. Adelstein Vice President of Sales Adam Mandell CJN Managing Editor Bob Jacob Controller Tracy DiDomenico Digital Marketing Manager Rebecca Fellenbaum Events Manager Gina Lloyd Editorial Ed Carroll Amanda Koehn Becky Raspe Alyssa Schmitt Contributing Writer Michelle Jacobson Custom Publishing Manager Paul Bram Sales & Marketing Manager Andy Isaacs Advertising Marcia Bakst Marilyn Evans Ron Greenbaum Adam Jacob Nell V. Kirman Sherry Tilson Design Manager Stephen Valentine Design Lillian Messner Digital Content Producer Abbie Murphy Business & Circulation Diane Adams Tammie Crawford Abby Royer Subscriber Services 216-342-5185 circulation@cjn.org Display Advertising 216-342-5191 advertising@balancedmag.com Balanced Family is published by the Cleveland Jewish Publication Company, 23880 Commerce Park, Suite 1, Beachwood, OH 44122. For additional copies, call 216-342-5185. For general questions, call 216-454-8300.

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BALANCEDKIDS

Season to explore

By Amanda Koehn

Spring is the perfect time to escape the indoors to explore and learn at a local nature center

I

n 2005, journalist and author Richard Louv coined the phrase “nature deficit disorder” in his book, “Last Child in the Woods.” Developed based on his research, the term refers to how humans, especially children, may face negative social and health consequences related to decreased interaction with the natural world.

Now 13 years later, kids seem to be spending more time in front of screens than ever before. However, for those interested in alleviating such concerns in their own families, Northeast Ohio has several nature centers that can help fend off cabin fever and give kids – and parents – exposure and appreciation for the world around us.

Dave Brown Images / Nature Center at Shaker Lakes

6 | BALANCEDFAMILY | SPRING 2018

THE BENEFITS OF A NATURE EXPERIENCE Exploring the undeveloped outdoors and nature centers gives children a chance to challenge their mental and physical abilities, says Wendy Weirich, director of outdoor experiences at Cleveland Metroparks.

“You are crossing a creek and stepping on stones, and there are consequences and kids have to make choices,” she says. “Whereas if you are on a playground or something, all the choices have been made for you. ... You have to make good decisions and it changes the way your brain is being used.”

She also notes that since families’ lives are increasingly busy and scheduled, taking time to learn about wildlife together not only creates quality family time, but gives parents and kids equal footing – both are exploring something new together.

Kay Carlson, president and CEO of Nature Center at Shaker Lakes in Shaker Heights, says nature centers and parks provide outdoor experiences for kids who live in urban environments and otherwise would be indoors. She also points to research that demonstrates there are consequences for the well-being of kids who spend less time outdoors. That declining relationship has consequences for the environment as well.

“When you expose children to nature, they are much more likely to grow up as an adult who is concerned about the environment,” she says. “It’s really important to expose children to nature at an early age, get them comfortable being outdoors and (get them) interested in their surroundings and the functions of our natural world so they realize that we all – all humans and life on earth – depend on the environment being healthy and that it’s our responsibility to take care of it.”

Morgan Paskert, marketing coordinator for Lake Erie Nature & Science Center in Bay Village, echoed the sentiment that interacting with nature gives kids a sense of responsibility, adding that visiting nature centers is simply an affordable, pleasant way to spend time as a family.

“You could really spend a whole day here and not spend a lot of money, and I think that’s really something people value,” she says. “It’s such a nice resource ... especially for

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young families to just come here and check out some animals, maybe check out a few-dollar planetarium show and hike up to (Lake Erie).”

LOCAL ATTRACTIONS Families looking to spend time outside and learn about wildlife this spring could venture to Lake Erie Nature & Science Center, where they can check out live animal programs, which include reptiles, mammals, a bald eagle and other birds of prey.

The center’s planetarium also offers programming geared toward young children.

“These shows give people the chance to introduce their kids to space science and the planetarium, and what it’s like to be in the dark,” Paskert says. “It’s unique that we serve that audience when most planetariums reach older people.”

Nature Center at Shaker Lakes offers “Creature Feature” hikes, during which a naturalist accompanies visitors on trails and explains sites. Shaker Lakes also has an Important Bird Area, a designation by the National Audubon Society that birds use the land as a habitat over seasonal migrations.

Nature Center at Shaker Lakes has workshops throughout the year, including those on bee house making and birdhouse building. Carlson also recommends hiking – in all weather.

“Without the distraction of phones or electronics, it’s just a wonderful way to get exercise and get in touch with the natural surroundings, and maybe discover something you’ve never seen before,” she says.

Another option is visiting a Cleveland Metropark, which has 18 reservations, more than 100 trails and five nature centers. Weirich says Cuyahoga County residents typically live no further than a 10-minute drive to one of the parks. Nature center exhibits offer lessons about wildlife they may see on the trails and can help visitors get a sense of what to look for before entering the woods.

Weirich also highlights World Water Day on March 24 at Cleveland Metroparks’ Watershed Stewardship

8 | BALANCEDFAMILY | SPRING 2018

1 Pe

1

Kyle Lanzer / Cleveland Metroparks

Center in Parma, which celebrates water with crafts, hikes, wagon rides, food from countries around the world and lessons about water issues in those countries.

Exploring nature also can make people curious. Specifically, being able to name a plant or identify what type of bird song is heard often relates to developing an affinity for them.

“As humans, we like to name things, we like to categorize things,” Weirich says. “Suddenly, if I know that’s a sugar maple tree, then I actually have a relationship with it. And suddenly, I like it better.” BF Lake Erie Nature & Science Center

In the wilderness Cleveland Metroparks • Brecksville Nature Center: 9000 Chippewa Creek Drive, Brecksville • CanalWay Center: 4524 E. 49th St., Cuyahoga Heights • North Chagrin Nature Center: 401 Buttermilk Falls Parkway, Willoughby Hills • Rocky River Nature Center: 24000 Valley Parkway, North Olmsted • Watershed Stewardship Center: 2277 W. Ridgewood Drive, Parma • clevelandmetroparks.com/parks/visit/nature-visitor-centers Lake Erie Nature & Science Center • 28728 Wolf Road, Bay Village • lensc.org Nature Center at Shaker Lakes • 2600 S. Park Blvd., Shaker Heights • shakerlakes.org

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BALANCEDKIDS

POWER of play

By Michelle Jacobson

T

oys are more than just objects that end up cluttered around the house and form mountains that take over a child’s room.

They are tools that spark developmental and behavioral skills – crucial skills that ignite a child’s ability to learn. However, there is one significant factor that may hinder the value: quantity.

According to a recent study conducted by researchers at the University of Toledo, the number of toys available in a toddler’s environment influences their quality of play. To test their hypothesis, the researchers engaged 36 toddlers in play and observed the behaviors of those who were given four toys compared to those with 16 toys. Toddlers with fewer toys demonstrated three key characteristics: greater quality of play, fewer incidences of play that lasted longer and greater variety of manners of play.

In response to these findings, the researchers suggested that parents and/or caregivers implement strategies to prevent disruption during playtime.

Without distractions, toddlers can remain focused, enabling more freedom for creativity and skill development.

“There is a saying that goes, ‘what wires together, fires together,’” says Michelle Martin, founder and director of Insight Learning and Wellness Center in Warrensville Heights. “Everything is

10 | BALANCEDFAMILY | SPRING 2018

connected. A variety of toys is important so that you are activating different parts of the brain. This creates more creativity and integration, which later produces cognitive abilities.”

As a licensed school psychologist, Martin is a firm believer in engaging kids in more “real play.” She explains how a minimalistic approach to education provides a low-key setting but is still quite powerful. This type of tactic limits distractions, which in turn, can provoke finer learning.

There are a number of ways limitations can be implemented in a child’s environment. For example, there can be spaces in the home that include fewer decorations and toys. In order to limit the number of toys available, Martin suggests using storage boxes as part of a rotation method. To do so, four or five toys can be left out for the child to play with at a time.

After a certain period, these toys can be switched and rotated with others that are stored away.

Berk

For toddlers, playtime offers an ability to develop social, motor and cognitive skills

Martin

“That (method) makes it easier for everyone,” Martin says. “By doing this, you can really help your child.”

And, in cases when parents have more than one child, this practice may also be useful as a way to prevent fighting over toys.

Jay Berk, a licensed psychologist specializing in children, adolescents and families at Jay Berk PhD and Associates in Beachwood, says it is also imperative for kids to have more freedom during playtime.

Less structured play offers the ability to use creative and cognitive skills. For example, he demonstrates this idea with a scenario involving a toy truck. There is a level of bonding that takes place when parents actively engage with their child during playtime, however, parents should also take a step back to some degree. So if a child is playing with a toy truck, it is more beneficial for parents to take less time showing the child how to play with the truck and spend more time allowing

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them to find their own way to maneuver the truck.

“In the long run, what you’re also trying to do is develop a kid who is also inquisitive,” Berk says. “So, to engage your kid, think, ‘Is there a different way we can play with this ball?’ Rather than just saying, ‘Here is a different way to play with this,’ you engage the child. Collaborative problem solving is used rather than just telling the kid the answer.”

Another constructive play mechanism is the use of a bucket or box. By allowing a child to play with an object that is openended, a variety of skills can be taught.

A toy that executes simplicity will offer an opportunity for a child to use their creativity and cognitive ability in a more advanced manner. These toys can be used in a variety of ways and encourage kids to

It’s good to get toddlers involved in an activity where they are learning, too.

Jay Berk Jay Berk PhD and Associate

use problem-solving skills as they explore the possibilities.

“The flexibility of a toy and how it can be played with is more important than teaching one specific skill,” Martin says.

Social skills can also be provoked during playtime. Berk places emphasis on ensuring that toddlers interact with others their age. Classes or playgroups are effective settings for toddlers’ growth because they can practice communication and sharing skills while learning how to interact and play nicely with others.

“It’s good to get toddlers involved in an activity where they are learning, too,” Berk says. “Like swimming classes, for instance – something like that where you are balancing toys and actual activities. In a swim class, they are learning to follow directions, taking turns and learning motor skills.”

Playtime also teaches self-expression, and parents are encouraged to include a designated art area in the house. Simply supplying paper and crayons or Play-Doh for young kids can spark imagination and creativity.

What research suggests is that attention and focus will be improved with certain types of stimulation and mindfulness.

Michelle Martin Insight Learning and Wellness Center

These abilities demonstrate how the role of play carries out into later life stages, as children use their learned skills to display healthy interactions throughout various aspects of life. Playtime lays out the foundation for learning, which progresses into complex skills that kids need as they grow older. Therefore, parents should provide a suitable environment that will nurture a toddler’s thinking, social and motor skills.

“What research suggests is that attention and focus will be improved with certain types of stimulation and mindfulness,” Martin says. “Parents should take this to heart as they implement these strategies into playtime.” BF

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BALANCEDKIDS

Building bonds

By Alyssa Schmitt

When grandparents and grandchildren form strong relationships, the benefits are long-lasting and worthwhile

B

ecoming a grandparent can be an exciting experience, bringing new life and laughter into a home while keeping the grandparent active and energized.

With a newly born grandchild, it’s easy for grandparents to be in their life. As the grandchild grows up, though, staying actively involved with that little one can become more challenging. In the end, of course, it’s worth the effort.

Fatima Perkins, director of community outreach and advocacy at Western Reserve Area Agency on Aging in Cleveland, and Michelle Shirer, communications director of AARP Ohio in Columbus, offer tips for grandparents who want to build closer relationships with their grandchildren and describe benefits that stem from developing close connections.

CREATE NEW MEMORIES TOGETHER Being active in a grandchild’s life early on will help create bonds and memories the young one can look back on.

14 | BALANCEDFAMILY | SPRING 2018

Perkins

Shirer

Perkins recommends looking into what the grandchild hasn’t experienced and bring that into his or her life, like ice skating in the winter.

Those new experiences keep the children physically active while stimulating their brains. Plus, a new experience could turn into a family tradition, which helps sustain the constant connection between the generations.

“One of the things we’ve heard a lot about is sharing hobbies,” Shirer says. “For example, if there’s a particular family tradition, like baking baklava around the holidays, ... pass those things down (to grandchildren).”

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BE CONSISTENT, USE TECHNOLOGY Whether a grandparent lives five minutes away or on the other side of the country, Shirer suggests developing a routine so grandchildren know when to expect an outing or Skype call.

“One of the things we’re hearing a lot is ‘consistency,’ so (use) your technology,” she says. “Have your grandchild show you how to use it so if they have an app, or you want to communicate with them, (you can).”

Those apps can be Skype, Snapchat or Facebook, which may be foreign to many grandparents. If that’s the case, Shirer says it’s likely the grandchild will be willing to help.

“Grandchildren enjoy being able to show you what they can do as well,” she says.

If grandparents need a little more instruction on how to use various forms of communication, Perkins recommends looking to the local library or recreation center for technology classes geared toward older adults.

Other ways grandparents can keep in contact is through texting or a phone call, forms of communication Perkins says grandparents should initiate.

“Grandparents have to remember that they’re the adult and it’s unlikely the children will just independently call them,” she says. “They have to make sure they’re calling or reaching out to the parents and the grandchildren on a regular basis.”

A GRANDPARENT’S ROLE While parents take on the role of teaching their child how to navigate through life, and typically have to be stricter, grandparents have an equally important role to play.

“You want to be connected because this is your family member,” Perkins says.

“You’re trying to build a strong relationship with a grandchild so (that) you are basically the grandchild’s role model in many aspects.”

But a grandparent’s duty doesn’t stop at being a role model. Grandparents also take on the role of being the family

historian, passing down the family’s culture and philosophy. When children know where their family comes from and understand their family’s philosophy, it can help guide them during major decisions later in life.

“Being able to share what you know and your values and your thoughts and philosophies as it applies to their day-today life, that’s tremendously valuable,” Shirer says.

While parents set their own rules for raising their children, Perkins says grandparents should have fun with their grandchildren – but that they should also balance that with a willingness to provide constructive criticism.

“Don’t be apprehensive about having fun with the grandchildren,” she says.

“Then there’s the opposite end. ... As kids age, especially when they become pre-teens and teens, a lot of times we see things in them that we experienced when we were young that we don’t want them to experience, and that’s very challenging and difficult.” BF

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BALANCEDADULTS

Bully pulpit

By Alyssa Schmitt

Parents and educators play key communication roles when identifying, preventing bullying among children

P

arents want the best for their children when sending them to school, but for many students, excelling in school can be a challenge.

That challenge can become more pronounced when a child resists going to school to avoid a bully.

About 12 percent of U.S. fourth-graders and 7 percent of eight-graders report experiencing bullying at least once a month, according to a 2016 study presented by the Indicators of School Crime and Safety. Yet, when a child is being bullied, many times he or she avoids telling a teacher or parent.

Tori Cordiano, research director of Laurel School’s Center for Research on Girls, and Courtney Evenchik, director of school psychology services at A+ Solutions in Beachwood, provide insight to parents regarding what they should look for if they suspect their child is being bullied and what steps to take.

IDENTIFYING BULLYING When children start interacting with each other at school, conflict is bound to happen. If parents hear about this conflict, it can be easy to jump to a conclusion that their child is being bullied, but Cordiano reminds us that conflict is not the same as bullying. “(Bullying) can get conflated with conflict, which is another aspect of relationships with kids and teenagers,” she says. “Conflict is really, really common. We expect kids to have conflict, we don’t expect them to always get along, we

16 | BALANCEDFAMILY | SPRING 2018

Cordiano

Evenchik

expect there to be upheaval in peer relationships.”

The difference, she explains, is bullying happens repeatedly with an imbalance of power – to the extent the person being bullied finds it difficult to defend themselves.

It can take the form of physical harm or a threat of physical harm, relational bullying, which is when a child feels ostracized, or cyberbullying, Cordiano says.

Signs your child may be bullied Tori Cordiano at Laurel School’s Center for Research on Girls and Courtney Evenchik at A+ Solutions offer the following indicators of bullying: • Lack of interest in school or complete avoidance • Decrease in appetite • Lack of sleep • Missing or damaged belongings • Coming home sad • Complain of stomach or headaches

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Girls tend to bully emotionally, Evenchik says, by doing things like socially excluding someone, while boys tend to be more physical, like breaking other’s belongings. But warning signs tend to look the same.

Children who are getting bullied may “come home and just get quiet, they come home sad, they refuse to go to school, (or) they might complain of stomachaches or headaches,” Evanchik says.

Other signs can involve grades dropping, losing belongings, decrease in sleep and appetite or avoiding hanging out with peers.

WHAT PARENTS CAN DO If parents suspect their child is being bullied, Evenchik recommends having a calm conversation with them to help them open up about their issues.

“Talk to your children, encourage them to tell you what’s going on,” she says. “Let kids know it’s not their fault, nothing they did brought this on.”

Parents can also teach their children how to appropriately handle a bullying situation by showing what it is like to be assertive and confident.

“Parents can help teach that to their kids and role play that with their children,” she says. “Tell their kids a lot of self-talk like, ‘I can do this. I can handle this. I’m capable. I’m not what they’re telling me.’”

Cordiano added parents should contact the school and make teachers aware as they have eyes on the ground in terms of how things are going with grades and classroom relationships.

“If you think about what happens at schools, schools need to be aware of parents’ concerns,” she says. “They can be a great source of support, either to gather more information for parents or to keep a child safe at school or to improve relationships at school.”

WHAT INSTITUTIONS ARE DOING Institutions like Laurel School and A+ Solutions are educating both children and adults on how to handle bullying.

At Laurel School, which has campuses in Shaker Heights and Russell Township, Cordiano says faculty members encourage students to recognize when someone needs help.

“We really strive in all aspects of the school, particularly in the middle school, and as we move to the upper school, to have a strong culture of standing up for others,” she says.

“So, being upstanders instead of bystanders.”

A+ Solutions doesn’t have a chance to build a culture like Laurel School, so instead, it provides workshops for parents and teachers to teach them how to be proactive with their children.

“We’re talking about not just what to do for a victim but what to do if your child is a bully,” Evenchik says. “One of the myths I think people have about bullies is they’re the kids with low self-esteem, and that’s not true. They tend to be very socially skilled and have average to above average self-esteem.”

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Bullying happens repeatedly with an imbalance of power – to the extent the person being bullied finds it difficult to defend themselves.

Equipping adults and students with knowledge on bullying can prepare a family for when a bullying issue arises. Both Cordiano and Evenchik say parents should be proactive and carve out time to speak with their child so that if an issue arises, the child feels comfortable in approaching an adult with their problem.

“Make sure there are times built into the day or the week, when it’s an easy place for parents and kids to check in together,” Cordiano says. “It’s hard with kids’ and teenagers’ busy schedules, and parents’ busy schedules as well, but if there is even a few pockets of time throughout the week when it feels like a chance for true connection, it can keep those lines of communication open and increase the likelihood that a child or teen will be able to share this with a parent.” BF

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BALANCEDADULTS

In the market

By Ed Carroll

Millennials seeking to buy a house can likely score a deal in Ohio, but planning is still key

M

ost millennials don’t own homes, as they simply cannot afford the cost of buying a house. But one state where millennials’ presence in the home-buying market is felt more is Ohio, where it’s ranked as the second most affordable state for millennials to buy a home, according to a study by GOBankingRates.

Local Realtors Cecilia Sherrard of RE/MAX Real Estate Group in Rocky River and Peggy Garr of Howard Hanna in Pepper Pike attest to the increase in millennial buyers in Ohio.

Both say millennials comprise one of their largest client demographics.

Garr feels in addition to getting more bang for their buck in Ohio, millennials are usually very organized and cognizant of how much they want to and can spend.

“Millennials are very interested in balancing their lives and their jobs,” she says. “They’re very conscious of finances. They’re big

18 | BALANCEDFAMILY | SPRING 2018

researchers – before they talk to an agent, they’ve already gone on the web (and) researched the agent and market.”

Sherrard thinks there’s another reason millennials are turning to buying rather than renting.

“The people that I’ve talked to (who are interested in buying), they know that after the housing bubble, rent prices skyrocketed,” she says. “A lot of times, it’s hard to find rent prices that are reasonable.

(High) rental costs and (low) rental availability, coupled with (Federal Housing Administration) loans, make

Garr

Sherrard (buying a home) affordable. I also think it’s a little bit brag-worthy (to own a home).”

Sherrard says that for millennials looking to buy instead of rent, they should do their due diligence and not rush matters.

“I would say the first (piece of advice) that jumps into my mind is don’t jump into something too quickly because you’re excited at the prospect of having your own place,” she says. “Work with lenders and retailers you’re comfortable with and buy below your means in case something happens. Then you can still afford the place comfortably.”

Garr says it’s important for homebuyers, millennial or otherwise, to connect with their real estate agent and communicate in a way that’s easy for both agent and homebuyer.

“There are good agents and there are bad agents, but an agent (that buyers) connect with is really important,” she says. “(Millennials are) texters, they don’t email much anymore and they don’t like calling (on the phone), so they need to find an agent that communicates the way they do.”

balancedmag.com

When it comes to finding the actual house to buy, both Realtors have advice for millennials. Sherrard recommends considering how long you plan on living in the house.

“Bank on not being able to do a first-time buyer flip in three to five years,” she says. “You don’t want to get stuck in something too small because your family is expanding and discover you can’t sell it. Prepare for the unexpected but have a little bit of room there for any expansion you might need.

Think five years down the road – is this house going to suit you if mom breaks a hip or if you have twins? – but get something small enough to maintain it.”

Garr says sitting down with a lender, even before finding a house, is beneficial.

“A lot of people, millennials especially, will be saddled with student debt and they really need to sit down with a financial adviser,” Garr says. “They know how to qualify people with the

A lot of people, millennials especially, will be saddled with student debt and they really need to sit down with a financial adviser. They know how to qualify people with the best of the best.

Peggy Garr Howard Hanna in Pepper Pike

best of the best. FHA loans might be a good way to go, especially if there’s debt involved. I think they need to sit down with a lender, even before they’re ready to look at houses.”

Garr says she sits down with potential buyers before even looking and discusses the buyers’ wants and needs.

“Everyone has their own ideas of what they want – but sometimes they don’t,” she says, adding that this meeting helps buyers and the agent figure out matters.

Sherrard says buyers should not stretch beyond their financial means.

“Ideally, you want to have around 25 percent of your income going to housing,”

she says. “Don’t stretch it. There are things you have to prepare for, like repairs and insurance costs if there’s a problem.

Your hot water tank goes in the middle of the night? You need to replace it.”

Sherrard says that often these repairs and commitments make millennials want to consider owning a condo, which she doesn’t recommend.

“The (condo association) fees are astronomical,” she says. “(Millennials) don’t want the headache of that. If you own a home, you can find a repair company that is (reasonably priced).

There are lots of expenses when you buy a house, but if you know what to expect, you can prepare.” BF

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SPRING 2018 | BALANCEDFAMILY | 19

Fostering family

At a time when Northeast Ohio has a growing need for foster parents, a Vermilion family provides a loving example for aspiring families to follow

Story by Ed Carroll Photography by Michael C. Butz

Angelique Yost, second from left, surrounded by her children: 10-yearold Aaliyah and 11-year-old Christian (front); 15-year-old Becky (center); and 15-year-old Joshua and 19-year-old Timothy (back, from left).

20 | BALANCEDFAMILY | SPRING 2018

balancedmag.com

C

haos is common in Angelique Yost’s home. But the chaos isn’t something she fears or dreads. Just the opposite – it brings her a warm smile. It’s a boisterous, happy and playful kind of chaos, the kind of chaos children inherently bring.

“This is normal,” Yost says, smiling, as her five children engage in playful debates about the rules of checkers, try to best one another at Jenga and otherwise scurry about their Vermilion home.

This sextet is very much a family, but not in what one might consider a traditional sense. Yost isn’t the biological mother to any of the five. All of them – Timothy, 19; Joshua and Becky, 15-year-old twins; Christian, 11; and Aaliyah, 10 – are adopted, and they all first came into her life as foster children via Summit County Children Services.

“I’ve been very blessed with them,” she says, referring to her family’s dynamic. “They play together and … they (have) cried together. They go to each other’s games and root (each other) on.”

IN THE BEGINNING All told, 77 foster children have come through Yost’s home since she and her late husband, Karl, started serving as foster parents more than 30 years ago.

They didn’t exactly seek out becoming a foster parent. Rather, it came organically.

In 1987, a family at her church was moving out of state. The family cared for a 13-year-old foster child, and the mother mentioned to Yost needing to find a new home for the girl – who happened to be the friend of Yost’s then-14-year-old biological daughter, Jessica – before they moved.

“I went to the agency, took the classes (required to get a foster care license) and got the girl,” says Yost, noting she also had two biological sons – Jonathan, 4 and Karl, 3 – at the time.

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Yost, now 61, has been involved in the foster care system ever since, with the exception of a break between 2010 and 2012 for medical reasons. During that time, the youngest child placed under her care was 3 days old and the oldest was 13 years old.

She’s considered an excellent foster parent, says Ann Ream, department director of community relations for Summit County Children Services. “(Yost) is a great foster parent because she is a team player and gives excellent care in meeting the needs of the children in her home,” Ream says in an email. “As a veteran foster parent, she mentors new foster parents and also works with coaching and supporting biological parents as well.

She has a positive attitude and loves children. We are so fortunate to have Ms. Yost on our team.”

HOW IT WORKS Working through Summit County Children Services requires Yost and all foster parents to take 40 hours of training every two years. Though different foster agencies might have different training requirements, Yost says through Summit County, she’s been trained on topics such as the proper way to discipline a child, working with a sexually abused child or one who has been the victim of human trafficking, training for working with

TOP: Yost looks at family photos, including one that features her with her late husband, Karl.

ABOVE: Christian and Aaliyah play a game of keep-away on their back patio.

women in trauma, and how best to work with the primary, or biological, family.

She says Summit County Children Services will recognize the experience and skill level of a foster parent, and that helps when children are assigned to their foster families.

“You can specify if you want to be a foster parent for infants, children or teenagers,” Yost says. “I strongly advise the families to recognize their

SPRING 2018 | BALANCEDFAMILY | 21

Yost and her children enjoy playing board games together as a family, including checkers. In this game, Aaliyah got the better of her sister, Becky.

I tell the foster parents that I mentor that you have to be strong in spirit. This is not for the weak-minded. This, foster parenting, is not for the weak of heart but for the strong in spirit – and that’s how I handle it.

Angelique Yost, who’s been a foster parent to more than 70 children during a 30-year span own skill level. Once you recognize your skill level, you’re going to be very successful.

“I tell them not to be afraid to say, ‘no, I can’t do this,’ because this child is in a wheelchair, or this child is being spoon-fed, or this child needs a large amount of medical care. My advice is to be aware of your skill level and don’t take on anything that you cannot deal with if you have no knowledge or training in that area.”

Ream says Yost’s house is one of 164 licensed foster homes in its system. Despite 164 homes seeming like a lot, Ream says there is a need for more foster parents, not only at the county level, but at the state and national levels, too.

“In Summit County, the average number of children in agency custody was 573 in 2013 and has risen to 722 children in custody (as of Feb. 16),” Ream says. “This is a 26 percent increase in the number of children in agency custody. The important role that Ms. Yost and other foster parents play in

22 | BALANCEDFAMILY | SPRING 2018

Summit County is immeasurable. They are helping to keep our children in this community safe and in many cases, are helping to keep sibling groups together when a removal is necessary.”

A GROWING NEED With Ohio in the throes of the opioid crisis, the role of a foster parent is more important than ever, Yost says.

“Foster parenting is important in the face of this opioid crisis, because while the primary family is recovering, the child or infant – especially the infant – those needs are being met,” she says.

“I don’t know if you’ve ever had the experience of watching a child who was born addicted to opioids, but they need a lot of personal care.”

She said when she’s out with a child who was born addicted and the child begins to scream, she often receives looks wondering what is wrong with the child.

“There’s so many different issues, things like extra trips to the doctor, extra trips to the neurologist, physical

therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy, and that’s only the top of the list,” she says.

In spite of the opioid crisis and the growing need for foster parents, Ream says the number of families in their system remains about the same.

“The number of foster parents has stayed static over the past year, however, the number of children in agency care has increased – in large part due to the opioid epidemic causing the need for additional foster homes,” she says. “Nearly 70 percent of all families served by (Summit County Children Services) are challenged by substance abuse and addiction, with a minimum (of) 25 percent of those children coming from homes where opiates were the primary substance.”

Still, despite the challenges she and the foster system face, Yost says she loves being a foster parent.

“If there were no foster homes, where would the children be?” she says. “I’d rather be a foster parent than a relative that takes on a relative placement (of a child). When it’s a relative, all the drama and stuff is at their doorstep, which means Summit County Children Services are like a wall that will take a hit while I’m at home peacefully and the tranquility is helping the child.”

balancedmag.com

Facing challenges Yost says the most difficult situations she faces as a foster parent are those in which a foster child goes back to his or her primary family but then ends up returning to the foster care system.

“My biggest challenge as a foster parent has been that (the foster children) end up going somewhere, either back to the mother, back to a family member, and at the bottom of the list, they get put up for adoption,” she says.

“You know the family is not ready, but the law says we have to return this child – and we have to abide by that law. And then maybe a year later, two years later, you get a call that the child is back in foster care. That is my biggest challenge.”

She says foster parents all have to abide by the law, which dictates what they’re able to do in any given situation.

“I tell the foster parents that I mentor that you have to be strong in spirit,” Yost says. “This is not for the weak-minded. This, foster parenting, is not for the weak of heart but for the strong in spirit – and that’s how I handle it.”

Success stories Challenges aside, Yost has also experienced the side of foster parenting that shows her it’s ultimately worth it.

Once, she was foster mother for a 9-year-old boy who came from “the worst situation you can imagine.”

“This little boy attached to us in such a way that he called my husband his father, his father figure,” she says. “He didn’t call him dad, but he called him his father figure and he called me his mother figure.”

As the child grew up, he paid his way through a private Christian school while in high school. Yost’s husband Karl, who died of cancer in 2011, was a former member of the military who worked in law enforcement and was preparing to work in the human trafficking department before he passed away.

“This young man, he grew up from high school and went into the Marines, he was very successful as a Marine,”

balancedmag.com

Christian and Yost engage in a game of Jenga on the dining room table of their Vermilion home.

Yost says. “He came home, used … the G.I. bill (to pay for his college education). In 10 months, he (earned) his bachelor’s degree, and in another 10 months, he did his master’s.

“In the process, he got married and had two children, and then four years ago, had two (more) little girls, twins.

One of them lived two years and she passed away. In his grief, he and his wife opened up a foundation,” she says, noting the boy’s transformation. “That is what you call the best in foster care, when you see the results. When you see the family grow. When you see a broken little boy grow into a strong man.”

That foundation, Maryssa’s Mission Foundation, provides families with medically fragile children essential items and services that supplement hospital resources.

Though not all foster children bring similar success stories, Yost says she never tires of seeing some flourish in life.

“We had one that we helped put through college,” she says. “When she finished college, my husband and her biological mother gave her away in marriage – and she’s been very successful since.” BF

How to help

May is National Foster Care Month, and agencies around the Northeast Ohio area are in need of quality foster parents. If you’re interested, you can contact one of the following local agencies for more information.

Cuyahoga County Children and Family Services 216-431-4500 cfs.cuyahogacounty.us Geauga County Job and Family Services 440-285-9141 geaugajfs.org/Index.html Lake County Foster Care/ Adoption Services 440-350-4218 lakecountyohio.gov/lcojfs Lorain County Children Services 440-329-5340 childrenservices.org/foster-parenting Medina County Job and Family Services 330-722-9300 mcjfs.us Summit County Children Services 330-379-9094 summitkids.org

SPRING 2018 | BALANCEdfamily | 23

BALANCEDBODY&MIND

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Experts agree modeling a positive body image is important for children, but it’s not always that simple for parents who struggle with their own

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MODELING HEALTHY BEHAVIOR While it’s important to teach children to think critically about body image and what they see in the media and at school, and to have relevant, encouraging discussions at home, parents can inadvertently model behaviors that are contradictory. That negative modeling can impact children, says Dr. Alexander H. Namrow, a pediatrician at Green Road Pediatrics in South Euclid.

“They definitely have an increased risk of having body image problems, or at least to worry about losing weight if a parent is worried about losing weight, too,” he says.

Discussing dieting or exercising excessively may influence a child’s idea of body image, Rudd says. However, so might less clear-cut cues like looking in the mirror frequently, frowning at one’s reflection, making off-hand comments

24 | BALANCEDFAMILY | SPRING 2018

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hile a child’s body image is affected by a wealth of factors – including peers, media they consume and society at large – a potentially overlooked primary influencer is their parents.

Jessica Rudd, a therapist with Ellen F. Casper, Ph.D. and Associates in Beachwood and Rocky River, says parents can create a filter through which other influences are viewed.

Thus, modeling positive attitudes about diverse body types and demonstrating healthy relationships with food and exercise contribute to how children develop their own perceptions.

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about how he or she shouldn’t eat so much and completely avoiding certain types of foods.

More than anything, Rudd says it’s important not to conflate self-worth with one’s shape, what they eat or how much they exercise. She says while it’s good to reframe eating healthfully and exercising moderately as part of a healthy lifestyle, it’s also important to teach children – both verbally and through modeling – that they aren’t defined by how they look.

“When we veer into the world of eating disorders or distorted body image issues, the issue is that the person has confused their identity or sense of worth or self with weight, body image or shape,” says Rudd, who specializes in eating disorders. “Those two things become equal, but the parent can really help a child by focusing on other values that are non-physical.”

MIXING IN HONESTY Modeling good behavior could involve reframing insecurities or attempts to lose weight as adopting a healthy lifestyle rather than emphasizing what the scale says, Namrow says. Moreover, it’s important children understand that as they enter adolescence, their bodies will change – and that’s OK.

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“Normally, their body mass index goes up (and) they have an increased fat content in their body,” Namrow says. “That’s a normal part of growing up. We should reinforce that your body will change and that’s a normal thing” However, the idea that adults struggle with how they look or other aspects of themselves shouldn’t be hidden either, Namrow and Rudd both say.

“That’s part of the conversation, too, that it is a reality that we aren’t always our best selves, whether it’s in regard to our weight, (or) maybe we’re not at a place at our job that we are happy with, etc.,” Rudd says. “I think being honest with our children about our struggles is important, (as is) helping them understand that it’s OK to want to strive for selfimprovement.”

PRACTICAL TIPS Namrow says at about preschool age, children begin to pick up on the way parents talk about food, exercise and how they look. He says instead of categorizing foods as good or bad, parents can refer to them as “always” and “sometimes” foods – that way eating something that isn’t healthy from time to time doesn’t become taboo and eating a plethora of fruits and vegetables is reinforced. For teenagers, he suggests reframing diet and exercise as taking care of one’s self and making good choices rather than quantifying them physically.

He also suggests that soon after toddlers are introduced to solid foods, parents develop the expectation that the family eats together and eats the same meals. That way, parents not only model healthy eating, but children have to take part rather than becoming fixated on eating only typical “kid foods.”

“If you start there and you have the expectation that your toddler will eat the same foods you are eating, it helps a lot to avoid some of these issues long term,” Namrow says.

If parents have a serious issue with food or body image, it’s important they seek professional help, Rudd says. They shouldn’t be afraid to let their child know how serious such issues can become and that it’s admirable to seek help when necessary.

“I think that’s a huge misconception that someone chooses to have an eating disorder, that they just stopped eating one day, when they know that’s not true,” Rudd says. “Eating disorders have a biological basis, so kind of destigmatizing that if there is a more severe issue going on with the parent, that they are seeking help and not afraid to talk about that with their children.” BF

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SPRING 2018 | BALANCEDFAMILY | 27

BALANCEDBODY&MIND

Change of P

By Alyssa Schmitt

A new guideline means more U.S. adults will be diagnosed with high blood pressure, but doctors say healthier lifestyle choices can help

A

bout 103 million Americans have high blood pressure, according to the American Heart Association – a figure that increased following the November announcement of a new guideline for diagnosing high blood pressure.

The guideline, which lowers the minimum threshold from 140/90 mm Hg to 130/80, was agreed on by 11 medical groups, including the AHA and American College of Cardiology, and is the first update in nearly 15 years. While the change increases the percentage of U.S. adults diagnosed with high blood pressure, or hypertension, most adults diagnosed will not need medication. However, changes in lifestyle choices may be the solution.

Dr. Leslie Cho, director of the Cleveland Clinic’s women’s cardiovascular center, and Dr. Jackson Wright, director of University Hospitals’ clinical hypertension program, provide insight into how significant this change is.

“It’s a big change because we’re reclassifying so many millions of Americans into hypertension,” Cho says. “The prevalence of hypertension, with the new guideline, increased from 32 percent to 46 percent. So, it went from 82 million Americans to 103 million Americans.”

28 | BALANCEDFAMILY | SPRING 2018

Cho

Wright

Nearly half of the U.S. adult population will be categorized as having high blood pressure, with the greatest impact expected among younger individuals, according to the ACC. In addition, the frequency of high blood pressure will triple among men under 45 years old and double among women under 45 years old.

The new guideline also changed how patients measure their blood pressure.

“There are some patients who are hypertensive in the office but not at home. Those patients have no greater risk of having an adverse event from high blood pressure than patients with normal blood pressure,” Wright says. “And by the same token, there are patients who are well controlled in the office whose blood pressure is much higher at home. And those patients have the same risk of high blood pressure.”

balancedmag.com

their behavior. Yet, Cho and Wright say over-prescribing can be avoided with more time in the doctor’s office and educating everyone involved.

“It’s important to educate patients on the blood pressure target, educate physicians on the new blood pressure target and then also the use of the risk calculator to figure out where the patients sit on that risk calculator,” Cho says. “And I think the other important thing is the proactive part of taking the initiative and measuring at home.”

Following the guideline will take both patients and physicians working together, and the results can be rewarding.

“The benefits (of the guideline) are there will be a reduction in patients dying as well as reduction in heart attacks. The major cause of people entering the hospital is heart failure, and the major cause of heart failure is high blood pressure,” Wright says. “It will reduce strokes, it will reduce kidney disease. There’s a huge benefit to both the patients who are being taken care of, as well as to the overall community, and the cost of health care in the country.” BF

Nearly half of the U.S. adult population will be categorized as having high blood pressure, with the greatest impact expected among younger individuals, according to the American College of Cardiology.

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Those patients who experience an elevated blood pressure while at the office are experiencing white coat hypertension, which occurs when patients are nervous at the doctor’s office.

“We may be missing patients who need treatment by relying on office readings,” Wright says. “We also may be treating patients who don’t need treatment.”

Because of white coat hypertension, Cho recommends patients take their own blood pressure measurements at home throughout the week but adds people should not overdo it because fixating on the measurements can affect the readings.

If it’s determined a patient’s blood pressure is between 130 and 140, identifying them as hypertensive, prescribing medication is not a doctor’s first step. Instead, Cho and Wright say more information is needed – like age, race, gender, history of diabetes and cholesterol levels – to estimate the chance a patient will have a cardiovascular event, like a heart attack, that can cause damage to the heart muscle.

The additional information, along with blood pressure measurements, are put into a risk calculator, a tool utilized by physicians for years. If the risk is less than 10 percent and the patient hasn’t had a cardiovascular event, beginning treatment takes the form of healthy eating, increased exercise, responsible drinking and refraining from smoking instead of medication.

If the risk is greater than 10 percent, Cho says “your goal of blood pressure treatment should be less than 130 over 80. ...

We should target you to a lower blood pressure because your risk is higher.”

Treatment for a risk of greater than 10 percent will still include lifestyle changes, though medication may be prescribed. That said, older adults may not want to lower their blood pressure too quickly as it could result in adverse results.

“As we get very, very old, it’s not so good to really lower your blood pressure because you may need a little bit of a higher blood pressure just for brain profusion,” Cho says. “Sometimes, when we try to lower blood pressure aggressively in the elderly, they get dizzy and fall down and break a hip, which is horrible.”

Cho adds, that the “very, very old” age depends on the patient as the health of older patients vary by case, which is when personalized medicine comes into play.

While the release of the new guideline may be seen as a way to scare patients into living a healthier lifestyle, being prescribed medication is easier than having people modify

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BALANCEDBODY&MIND

Sunday Sleep Day?

By Ed Carroll

‘Sunday fun day’ isn’t necessarily to blame, but weekend schedules that alter bedtimes and involve drinking are reasons why people have trouble sleeping on Sundays

S

unday nights are rough. It’s the end of the weekend. Most of the fun has already been had. Adults are staring straight at another work week and children have to deal with finishing any homework they neglected before classes start up again on Monday.

With those things in mind, it’s no surprise that three times as many people sleep worse on Sunday nights than on any other night of the week, according to a recent international study by calm.com.

Potential reasons given by the site for issues adults have with sleeping on Sunday include having their sleep cycles thrown off by sleeping in on weekends or staying up late on Friday and Saturday nights, and the consumption of more alcohol over the weekend. Anxiety regarding work on Monday was also cited as a potential reason.

Dr. Dennis Auckley, director of sleep medicine at MetroHealth in Cleveland, and Dr. Tim Kowalski, a sleep medicine doctor for Lake Health in Willoughby and Concord Township, both say the study’s findings make sense.

Auckley says though alcohol consumption and work anxiety can be

30 | BALANCEDFAMILY | SPRING 2018

factors in poor sleep, he thinks a bigger issue is our internal clocks being offset by changes in daily routines during the weekend.

“The typical thing for most individuals (is) the internal clock (is) not actually set to 24 hours, it’s set to a bit longer than that,” he says. “We help train our bodies to the 24-hour clock. We also do have a tendency to delay (the clock) and stay up later. People tend to stay up later Friday and Saturday, then sleep in a little later, meaning the internal clock is pushed back.

When we do that, our internal rhythms are now more delayed.”

Auckley says a good way to keep our internal clocks in tune is to keep a similar schedule on weekdays and weekends, keeping bedtimes on the weekend within an hour of what it would be during the week, and perhaps most importantly, keeping the same wakeup time.

Auckley

Kowalski

Kowalski says most adults need about seven-and-a-half hours of sleep each night, give or take, with older adults needing less sleep. He says calming techniques, such as meditation or focusing on breathing, can help relax people enough to sleep. He also warned that napping during the day and especially in the evening can throw off a sleep routine.

“If you take naps during the day, you won’t sleep during the night,” he says.

Keeping a normal routine can be crucial to sleeping better on Sunday nights, Kowalski says, adding that the room people use to sleep should only be used for sleep and intimacy, with all other distractions removed. It also should be kept dark, quiet and at a slightly lower temperature than the rest of the home, if possible.

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Advertorial

5 Tips for the Caregiver in the Workforce

Nearly 1 in 6 Americans are both the primary caregiver for an aging family member and maintain employment. Of those caregivers, 70 percent suffer workrelated difficulties due to their dual roles and many feel they have no choice about taking on caregiving responsibilities.

If you are one of the millions of caregivers, the following five tips are helpful in delegating your time and managing stress.

Stay organized. Keep track of loved one’s medications, doctor visits, emergency contacts and vitals. As an employee, stay on top of projects and deadlines to ensure proficiency and productivity.

Talk to your employer. Demonstrate commitment to your career but talk through your needs that affect your work results. Explain your situation and discuss the possibility of a flexible schedule.

Know your rights. Ask whether you are eligible for leave under FMLA (Family and Medical Leave Act). Benefits vary by state, but the act may provide job protection while tending to a medical emergency.

Maintain a healthy lifestyle. Get enough sleep, eat a nutritious diet, stay hydrated and exercise. This allows you to keep up with a busy schedule and properly care for all household members. balancedmag.com

Find support. In-person and online support groups are available for emotional support. Take advantage of advice to help you determine the best care for your family.

program can help fill in the gaps from grocery shopping to personal care to light housekeeping. Home health aides can help you do more to take care of your loved one.

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“In an ideal world, you go to bed at the same time each day, get up at the same time and avoid napping,” he says. “Don’t take alcohol to go to sleep, (and) don’t take stimulants to wake up.”

The only adults Kowalski recommends take naps are those who work second or third shift or work irregular hours. Auckley is a little less leery of naps, and said our internal clocks actually have a built-in naptime in our daily rhythms, in the middle of the afternoon. He says napping during this time isn’t particularly harmful, especially if it’s kept to a short nap.

“Our general recommendation is a 20-to-30-minute nap,” Auckley says. “That gets you into sleep but not too deeply into sleep. A longer nap might create more problems with getting into sleep. But napping in and of itself is not bad as long as it’s the right time. Napping in the evening will make things difficult.”

Auckley also suggests avoiding stimulating activities before bedtime, including limiting what he calls “screen time” in front of electronics such as a computer, phone or tablet.

“It’s always a good idea to practice good sleep hygiene,” he says. “Have a good pre-sleep routine, which includes relaxing and not obsessing over work issues that will lead to anxiety and stress. If you know you have (anxiety and stress about the upcoming work week), deal with it earlier in the evening rather than right before bed.”

For those who get “performance anxiety” about sleeping at night, Kowalski says to focus on two things.

“Get up at the same time each day and avoid napping at all costs,” he says. BF

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Family Caregivers Create a Team The day began like any other. Then, like a bolt of lightning, the news came that Debbie Davidson’s mom, Celestine Taylor, had a stroke. She wasn’t able to talk or walk.

“I didn’t think it would get any better; this would be her new normal,” said Debbie. “I continued to prepare myself for the worst.”

Then something magical happened when Debbie took the advice of the hospital social worker who suggested adult day care.

“Mom started at the Center (Menorah Park’s Mandel Adult Day Center) and the stimulation she experienced from that point on was what really got her back – better now than before the stroke,” explained Debbie.

It was a journey though. She was at first lethargic, and by working with her doctor, they removed some medications.

Slowly, she regained her energy.

“Family members need to watch as they (loved ones) begin to recover. We know them best and our role is to be an advocate and work in partnership with the experts,” Debbie noted.

Debbie and her siblings work together as part of the family-professional care team, and they’ve found a successful routine. Her sister stays with their mom while Debbie helps with hygiene and getting her ready for the day as well as taking her to and from the Center, and their brother makes sure he spends quality time with their mom at least twice every week.

In addition to having a cohesive family care team, they also have arranged for home health services and rehabilitative therapy to provide additional support.

“You offer such incredible services and make things so much easier,” Debbie said. “I can’t imagine how much more difficult it would be if I had to take her to another place for physical therapy. It’s so nice that you have it all right here.”

Debbie looks back now to the time before the stroke. And before, her mom was kind of sad, her smile was forced and she kept expressing that she was getting so old.

According to Tina Witt, the Center’s Director, “Celestine is always busy; she participates in exercise, painting, discussions groups, games and more. When she isn’t busy with planned activities, she’s sharing life stories with her friends. “ “As we age, we notice that we can’t do the same things we used to do. We risk dwelling on the negative. I see that, now that my mom is active and involved, she doesn’t have time to think that way – she is too busy doing things including coloring, and her writing is now back to normal. She is also walking much better than even before her stroke,” Debbie noted.

Their car rides home have become very special, and Debbie and her siblings enjoy this joyful time they have with balancedmag.com

their re-energized mom. She notes that the relationship is deeper with the added necessity of providing care and that there is so much trust as a family. The care is what is top of mind, and they easily put aside the “silly stuff,” as she calls it.

“We love her so much and often reflect on the times she cared for us. We are now creating new memories every day.

The car ride home usually begins with an enthusiastic ‘guess what I did today?’ She begins sharing about the animals she sees, the children that visit, the favorite songs she sings – you name it. It’s such a pleasure to see her having so much fun,” Debbie concluded.

As Celestine turns 96 this month, the family expresses gratitude, and cherishes each and every moment and day.

For more information on adult day care, email tmwitt@menorahpark.org.

MenorahPark.org (216) 831-6500 spring 2018 | BALAnCEdfamily | 33

WELLNESSDIRECTORY HOME & HEALTH BRIGITTE AT YOUR SERVICE

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VISITING ANGELS

We are an in-home, senior care provider assisting the senior and older adult to live as independently as possible by remaining safely in their own home. Services include hygiene assistance, companionship, medication reminders, light housekeeping, laundry, meal preparation. errands and shopping.

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BODY SCULPTING AND BARRE FX

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OPTIONS NATUROPATHIC

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PLATINUM HOME HEALTH

provides intermittent (or part-time) Physical and Occupational Therapy, Speech Therapy, Skilled Nursing and Home Health Care Aides to patients in the comfort of their own home by qualified, licensed and insured local professionals. We are proudly Veteran owned and operated.

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SHADYBROOK

is a Northeast, Ohio, non-profit organization that hosts or sponsors programs, workshops, and seminars for adults, children, and families all geared towards cultivating personal growth, welcoming diverse ideas, ultimately improving awareness and enhancing your life. Visit www. shadybrook.org for more information.

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Wellness directory is provided by our advertising partners.

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