Balanced Family Spring Issue 2016

BALANCED

SPRING ISSUE | 2016

BALANCEDMAG.COM

FAMILY HEALTH | WELLNESS | PARENTING | LIVING

Heart & sole Through Girls With Sole, Liz Ferro is using athletics to help atrisk Northeast Ohio teens who’ve endured troubling childhoods – much like she did

SPRING TOPICS: PLANT A HOME GARDEN 12 | WORKPLACE WELL-BEING 14 | SWEAT TOGETHER, STAY TOGETHER 18

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Center

INSIDE

Living

g.

cated ng by

BALANCEDKIDS

Editor’s note

4

TAKING THE GOOD WITH THE BAD Editor Michael C. Butz pores over some recent rankings – some good, some bad – for various Northeast Ohio communities

Feature story

20 HEART & SOLE

Through Girls With Sole, Liz Ferro is using athletics to help at-risk Northeast Ohio teens who’ve endured troubling childhoods – much like she did

Closing Column

34 MAXIMIZE YOUR EXPERIENCE Career columnist Beth Kuhel discusses how getting the most out of going to college requires more than it used to

On the cover: Cover photo and photo below by Michael C. Butz

20

6

SOBERING DISCUSSIONS

Underage drinking is often a concern for parents, but talking to children about it can help – especially as spring break and graduation ceremonies approach

10 CAMPS TO KNOW

Helpful information for choosing a summer camp for your son or daughter

BALANCEDADULTS 12 SOWING THE SEEDS

Spring is a great time to start a home garden, which can provide nutritious (and convenient) fruits and vegetables as well as serve as a fun family activity

BALANCEDBODY 14 WORKPLACE WELL-BEING

Employees who add a little physical activity to their day and make nutritious food choices stand to experience healthy benefits

TOGETHER, 18 SWEAT STAY TOGETHER

Couples that work out together often enjoy the rewards, including sharing a healthier lifestyle

BALANCEDMIND 28 HAPPY HEARTS Teens who participate in Girls With Sole stand shoulder to shoulder with founder Liz Ferro in February inside the Lorain High School Annex gymnasium.

Gratitude can lift one’s spirits, and according to recent research, it can also lift one’s heart health

30 OFF THE AIR

Watching too much TV has been shown to affect cognitive focus, but exercise and good health practices help stem the tide

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SPRING 2016 | BALANCEDFAMILY | 3

BALANCED

FAMILYMATTERS FROM EDITOR MICHAEL C. BUTZ

Taking the good with the bad

I

grew up in Northeast Ohio, and all things considered, I’ve always deemed the region to be a good place to grow up – for the most part.

I suspect that as a Balanced Family reader, you might agree with me. Turns out we aren’t alone.

For the most part.

First, some good news: In its 2016 report about the best and worst cities for Ohio families, WalletHub ranked 16 Northeast Ohio communities in its top 40.

The region’s top-ranked city was Hudson, which came in at No. 4. Its 15 other top 40-ranked cities were: Brecksville (No. 15); Solon (16); Broadview Heights (21); Westlake (22); Twinsburg (23); Stow (25); Avon Lake (26); Aurora (27); Bay Village (28); University Heights (29); Strongsville (32); Avon (33); Rocky River (36); Shaker Heights (37); and Beachwood (40).

Rankings were based on four factors: “Family Life & Fun Rank” (number of playgrounds and attractions, number of families with children younger than 18, average commute time, etc.); “Education, Health & Safety Rank” (quality of school system, graduation rate, air quality, crime

rates, etc.); “Affordability Rank” (housing affordability and general affordability); and “Socioeconomic Environment Rank” (separation and divorce rates, unemployment rate, wealth gap, foreclosure rate, etc.).

All told, WalletHub ranked 145 Ohio cities. Dublin, a Columbus suburb, was ranked No. 1, while East Cleveland ranked last. Not faring much better than East Cleveland was Cleveland, which ranked second to last.

Speaking of Cleveland, the region’s central city is part of why I say “for the most part.”

Despite unmistakably positive momentum in certain areas, like downtown Cleveland’s recent renaissance, the New York Times in February ranked the city as the most distressed big city in the country – despite what the paper calls an improving economy since the Great Recession of 2009.

Cleveland placed worse than other ranked distressed cities like Detroit, Toledo and Cincinnati based on factors such as adults without a high

4 | BALANCEDFAMILY | SPRING 2016

school degree (23 percent), poverty rate (36 percent), adults not working (53 percent), housing vacancy rate (21 percent) and more.

Those numbers and rankings are stark reminders that the city – and by extension, the region – still has room for growth and improvement.

Thankfully, the reputation Northeast Ohio has earned over generations for being hardworking and willing to help those in need isn’t unfounded – which tells me we’re up to the task.

In fact, in this issue of Balanced Family, we introduce you to someone who’s already hard at work: Liz Ferro, who’s making a difference in the lives of at-risk teens throughout the region via her organization, Girls With Sole.

Will Ferro’s efforts alone stem the tide of local distressed communities?

Of course not – but it’s certainly a positive step toward improving family life in our hometowns, and Ferro provides a shining example for fellow Northeast Ohioans to follow.

FAMILY Editor Michael C. Butz editor@balancedmag.com Art Director Jon Larson Contributing Columnist Beth Kuhel Cleveland Jewish Publication Company President & CEO Kevin S. Adelstein Vice President of Sales Adam Mandell CJN Managing Editor Bob Jacob Controller Tracy DiDomenico Manager of Digital Marketing Rebecca Fellenbaum Events Manager Gina Lloyd Editorial Kristen Mott Jonah L. Rosenblum Ed Wittenberg Carlo Wolff Digital Content Producer Noelle Bye Advertising Marcia Bakst Paul Bram Ron Greenbaum Andy Isaacs Adam Jacob Nell V. Kirman Sherry Tilson Design Frida Kon Stephen Valentine Business Diane Adams Tammie Crawford Abby Royer Display Advertising 216-342-5204 advertising@balancedmag.com Circulation 216-342-5185 circulation@cjn.org Balanced Family is produced by the Cleveland Jewish Publication Company, 23880 Commerce Park, Suite 1, Beachwood, OH 44122. For additional copies, call 216-342-5185. For general questions, call 216-454-8300.

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BALANCEDKIDS

SOBERING

DISCUSSIONS Underage drinking is often a concern for parents, but talking to children about it can help – especially as spring break and graduation ceremonies approach

By Carlo Wolff

B

e frank with your kids about drinking, but be decisive and set rules. Give adolescents equal seats at the table in family talks. Try to come together in acknowledging that drinking, particularly binge drinking, is a problem among teenagers – according to the American Academy of Pediatrics, about 79 percent have tried alcohol before they reach 12th grade – but also accept that experimentation with alcohol, as with sex and drugs, is likely.

Just because it’s likely doesn’t mean it’s OK, however, according to Courtney Kelley, an assistant professor of psychology at Cuyahoga Community College with a doctorate in developmental psychology.

Maria Pagano, an associate professor of psychiatry at Case Western Reserve University and a clinical researcher associated with the Schubert Center for Child Studies, has a similar approach.

Both Kelley and Pagano take a zero-tolerance, no-exceptions position on adolescent drinking, and both suggest adolescence extends into a person’s 20s.

Miyuki Tedor, an associate professor in the Cleveland State University Department of Criminology, Anthropology and Sociology, has a different attitude, suggesting parents must try to understand the teenage environment – and be there if their kid is too alcoholimpaired to function.

6 | BALANCEDFAMILY | SPRING 2016

The facts are sobering.

According to 2013 statistics from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (the most recent available), underage consumers drink more drinks per occasion than adults, there were approximately 189,000 emergency rooms visits by persons under age 21 for injuries and other conditions linked to alcohol in 2010, and that same year, excessive drinking cost the U.S. economy more than $24 billion.

“Many do not realize that the way the adolescent brain changes and develops, it not only makes alcohol use more appealing, but it will also increase the chances of becoming alcoholics in the future,” says Kelley. The vulnerable years are 10 to 25, she says, even though “our society doesn’t recognize the

“Many do not realize that the way the adolescent brain changes and develops, it not only makes alcohol use more appealing, but it will also increase the chances of becoming alcoholics in the future.”

– Courtney Kelley Cuyahoga Community College

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BALANCEDKIDS early 20s as actually being adolescent.”

Parents should declare alcohol off-limits for teens at least until graduation, with no exceptions, she advises. People aged 16 and 17 may seem mature, but because the brain is still developing, they “still are not mature enough to take on the responsibility of drinking responsibly.”

Parents can tell teens that underage drinking is illegal, that drinking can adversely affect healthy growth, and that they’re concerned for their kids’ safety, says Kelley. Talking about the topic is critical, because teens “want to know they can have discussions with their parents.”

In regard to spring break, Kelley strongly advises a parental presence. “One of the biggest predictors of adolescent problem behavior is low parental supervision,” she says. “Adolescents are not adults yet; they shouldn’t be expected to act like an adult.

So if a teen wants to go on spring break and the parents are comfortable with that, at least one parent needs to go. It’s really for their safety reasons.”

CWRU’s Pagano, who also is principal investigator for the research project helpingotherslivesober.org,

says teens often drink to ease social anxiety, but that doesn’t work. Besides, she suggests, alcohol is a kind of gateway drug that can lead to experimentation with illegal drugs and sex.

Many adolescents and young adults drink or use drugs “when they feel ill at ease,” she says, but such use doubles the risk of unprotected sex, “which opens the door to the risk of infectious diseases and pregnancy. To the extent you’re looking to have a good time, ideally young adults are aware that they’ll have a better time and make better decisions sober. They’ll also remember it. They’ll remember their spring break.”

Sobriety has profound rewards, Pagano says.

“The most sexy thing around is being comfortable in your own skin,” Pagano says. “You only get that by staying connected to yourself through any kind of emotion or circumstance. So you don’t wait until you’re in your adulthood to find out who you are; it’s in your best interests to practice now.”

Pagano strongly recommends zero tolerance in regard to teenage drinking – and total abstinence. “Again, I think it’s a slippery slope to think you can just have a little.”

Is there such a thing as moderate drinking?

“Is there such a thing as minor pregnancies?”

Tedor, a criminologist with expertise in deviant behavior among youth, says sociologists and criminologists might “take a more realistic approach, based on scientific evidence, based on what we know about teenage drinking, instead of this kind of popular, punitive, zero-tolerance approach.”

More than half of teenagers drink, 10 percent drive a car after drinking, and 22 percent of high school kids ride in a car driven by someone who’s been drinking, Tedor says.

“Talk to children about not driving or getting into a car with someone who’s been drinking,” she says. “Talk to children and let them know you will pick them up at any time, no questions asked, and talk to kids about drinking in moderation if they ever drink.

“My recommendation to parents is while encouraging abstinence, also talk to kids about how to drink responsibly if kids ever drink. This might not be the most popular here, but I think it’s the most sensible approach if parents care about children not dying in car accidents or driving drunk, or many other events associated with drinking.” BF

“My recommendation to parents is while encouraging abstinence, also at the time talk to kids about how to drink responsibly if kids ever drink.

This might not be the most popular here, but I think it’s the most sensible approach if parents care about children not dying in car accidents or driving drunk, or many other events associated with drinking.”

– Miyuki Tedor Cleveland State University

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There were approximately 189,000 emergency room visits by persons under 21 for injuries and other conditions linked to alcohol in 2010, according to 2013 statistics from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. balancedmag.com

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BALANCEDADULTS

Rob Dzurec / Cleveland Botanical Garden

W Sowing

seeds the

Spring is a great time to start a home garden, which can provide nutritious (and convenient) fruits and vegetables as well as serve as a fun family activity

By Carlo Wolff

12 | BALANCEDFAMILY | SPRING 2016

ith snow often blanketing Northeast Ohio through March, it might be hard to imagine that under all that white is soil eager to host a harvest. Hopefully, gardeners are using winter to plan what they will grow this spring.

Timing is critical, according to Rob Dzurec, a horticulturalist at the Cleveland Botanical Gardens. Don’t start too soon.

“Late winter is a great time to plan your spring garden,” he says. “Decide if you want to start from seed – which is cheaper – or buy plants from your local garden center. Planting typically begins after the last frost date, which is about May 15 in Northeast Ohio. But some plants can be started earlier indoors to get a head start on the season. Resist the temptation of a mid-April warm-up to rush out and plant things, as there is a high risk those new plants will not survive a frosty dip in temperature typical of Cleveland springs.”

Since Cleveland’s climate is anything but tropical, except for the occasional midsummer spell, this region is appropriate for hardy plants. Among the keys to successful gardening are adequate sun, the right plot size, and relevance, say veteran gardeners Dzurec and Marc Levine, co-owner of Bistro 185 in Cleveland’s North Collinwood neighborhood, where he and his

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BALANCEDADULTS

Marc Levine / Bistro 185

staff harvest a rooftop garden for use in the restaurant.

Grow vegetables you like.

Grow ones you use. And bring the family.

A home gardener for more than 20 years, Dzurec maintains a 4-by-4-foot vegetable garden on the rear deck of his Westlake home.

“I am starting to incorporate more edibles into the ornamental landscape by using plants that are both attractive and provide edible fruit, such as blueberries, peppers, chives, and herbs such as dark leafed oregano,” he says.

A mix of ornamental and usable plants is ideal.

Besides, it’s prettier.

“Whether ornamental or vegetable, start small,” Dzurec adds. “Taking on too much too early may lead to disappointment and discouragement. Starting small can be anything from a container on the back patio to a small plot in the yard. The

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bigger you go the more time you will need to tend to the garden.”

“I grow vegetables that are high-yield for the space they use,” says Levine, who owns Bistro 185 with his wife and fellow gardener, Ruth. The gardens at their Pepper Pike home and on the roof of their Cleveland restaurant boast quite a variety: heirloom tomatoes, cucumbers, eggplant, yellow squash and green beans.

The Levines also plant herbs such as basil, cilantro, parsley, mint, tarragon, chives and rosemary. They don’t plant items they don’t use, like hot peppers or low-yield, space-greedy melons or corn.

Using drip irrigation and raised-bed gardens gives them “more control over the soil,” Levine says, adding, “I use potting soil that has great drainage: bone meal, dried blood and organic fertilizer.”

“When siting your garden, find a place that receives at

least six hours of full sun,” counsels Dzurec. “If you plan on growing tomatoes or peppers, you will need closer to eight.”

Grow vegetables you know you will eat, he adds, and research a plant’s production so you don’t overgrow. But if you do, share the harvest and learn how to can.

Levine says plants grown naturally outside taste better than store-bought or hydroponically cultivated ones. At the same time, he warns, cultivating a garden can be labor-intensive.

Among the side benefits of growing, tending to and harvesting your own garden are exercise, being outdoors, relaxation and stress reduction, says Dzurec.

As for economic benefits, growing your own vegetables

means not having to shop for them – and there’s the convenience of having them on hand for an impromptu meal.

Gardening also brings families together.

Levine learned about gardening from his father, who had a “hobby farm” in Mayville, N.Y., the town where he grew up.

“Growing your own produce is a great way to have a shared experience as a family,” says Dzurec. “Kids can learn how to plant seeds, watch them grow and harvest the fruits of their labor. Hands-on gardening is a great way of getting kids outside and involved in the family meal. Kids are also more motivated to eat vegetables they had a hand in growing.”

BF

PUTTING DOWN ROOTS Marc Levine, co-owner of Bistro 185, offers the following tips for the beginning gardener: • Start with a raised bed no wider than you can reach across (6 feet wide, 12 feet long and a foot deep) and fill it with potting soil.

• Space your plants far enough apart. It’s easy to crowd baby plants, which will then “compete” with each other.

• Plant things you will use, like tomatoes, beans, chives, basil, zucchini and cucumbers.

• A sunny location is a must.

– Carlo Wolff

SPRING 2016 | BALANCEDFAMILY | 13

Work place

BALANCEDBODY

well-being Employees who add a little physical activity to their day and make nutritious food choices stand to experience healthy benefits

By Jonah L. Rosenblum

Y

ou’ve heard it before.

Americans are working harder and longer than ever before, and no, that’s not just a line from a presidential campaign speech.

Antenucci

Di Liello

Vyas 14 | BALANCEDFAMILY | SPRING 2016

It makes sense then that there is an increasing focus on healthy workplaces, given that’s where many spend a plurality of their lives. Take a Healthy Ohio program that recognizes those Buckeye State companies that best promote employee health, whether through fitness classes or wellness programs.

That makes perfect sense to Dr. Christina Antenucci, who works in family medicine at MetroHealth Medical Center in Cleveland.

“It’s huge,” Antenucci says. “A huge percentage of your waking hours are spent at work, so the way you lead your life, your diet, your time, your energy at work has a large impact on your health.”

Unfortunately, Americans don’t always get a passing grade for keeping healthy at work – and while an employee can’t make his or her employer build an on-site gym or provide a bright sunlit desk, there are easy things that every employee can do to make his or her professional life a healthier one.

Take the classic American work ethic, something much celebrated but also quite harmful, it turns out. For many, taking a break seems like the lazy way out. Why not tough it out instead and home in on that computer a little harder until 5 o’clock, or well after? Well, such ethic might be as helpful as telling a child athlete with a concussion to just “play through it.” Experts note a quick walk around the office or around the block not only provides much-needed physical exercise but mental exercise as well. It also provides one’s eyes a break from straining toward the computer for too long.

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BALANCEDBODY “If you just step away from your desk, even if it’s to walk down the hall and say ‘hi’ to a co-worker and turn around and walk back to your desk, you come back to whatever project you’re on and you’re more attentive to details and less likely to make errors,” Antenucci says.

Same goes with the latest fad – the standing desk – which allows employees to accomplish everything they did sitting down while standing up. Some standing desks can be adjusted up and down, allowing workers to alternate between sitting and standing.

Dr. Neha Vyas, a family medicine doctor at the Cleveland Clinic, has one, although hers isn’t quite so fancy. She merely uses boxes to prop her work upward.

“At first, people were kind of chuckling,” Vyas says. “I think people want to secretly do it themselves.”

Indeed, she says that her brain functions differently while standing up, providing fresh perspective to whatever she’s working on at the time.

Exercise at work can exceed merely standing up, according to Salvatore Di Liello, a naturopathic doctor based in Warrensville Heights and Warren.

“Obviously, you’re not

going to have the full gym in your office – unless you have the luxury of doing so,” Di Liello says. “Most of us are lucky if we have a desk chair and some books.”

He noted that a little light lifting could provide an energy boost, whether it’s with a 5-pound dumbbell or something more makeshift like a heavy book. Really, anything “that will get the blood going” is a start, Di Liello says.

“Obviously, you won’t get the full cardio, but pacing back and forth, some steps, some movement, that’s much better than just sitting on a chair the whole time,” he says. “We, as humans, are not meant to sit for a long period of time.”

Some also replace their desk chair with an exercise ball – both for the exercise value and to improve posture given that many desk chairs are not all that ergonomic.

Beyond the poor health associated with sitting in front of a desk all day, there are also the problematic indulgences many Americans rely on to “get through” the workday. Even coffee, the miraculous caloriefree remedy to seemingly every work problem, has a maximum, according to local doctors. Meanwhile, the one

beverage that no one ever gets enough of is simple: water.

“Staying hydrated is really key to helping people function,” Antenucci says.

American workday food choices might be even worse.

Many opt for a quick sugar rush to get through the day.

Offices assist that temptation with vending machines.

Obviously, it isn’t surprising to hear Vyas recommend avoiding fast food for lunch.

Perhaps more startling is hearing Di Liello recommend against the simple carbs present in bread and pasta, staples of many lunches. He said those carbs work before a marathon but will turn into sugar and lead to a crash as an employee sits at his or her desk. He recommends fresh fruit. Vyas adds that bean spread, chicken salad and hummus are easy options.

Di Liello advocates nuts as a snack food.

“I’d much rather a patient eat a handful of nuts than a candy bar,” Vyas says.

Vyas also brings up something that’s often left out of discussions of how to create a healthy workspace.

She emphasizes personal connection. Instead of sending an email, walk to a

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colleague. Maybe even ask how they’re doing. Vyas says she tries to start every day with a “good morning” to her colleagues.

“I think that personal interaction is good for your health,” Vyas says. “It makes them feel good, it makes you feel good and it strengthens bonds when you talk inperson.”

A healthy day at work – full of little walks and personal interaction and fresh fruits – helps people leave work feeling alive and ready for the evening. An unhealthy day often leads to an unhealthy night slumped on the couch. BF

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BALANCEDBODY

Sweat together, stay together

Couples that work out together often enjoy the rewards, including sharing a healthier lifestyle

By Jonah L. Rosenblum

A

merican couples are on a continual quest for quality time.

Between work, hanging out with the guys or gals, traveling to see family and perhaps taking care of the kids, it’s not often that a couple gets muchneeded one-on-one time.

But what if there was, in fact, a simple solution? While you likely can’t bring your loved one to work with you, you can bring them to the gym with you.

Best of all, that quality time can lead both to a higherquality relationship and a higher-quality workout.

“You bring that connection, that motivation, that energy from the relationship into the gym and the facility,” says Ramon Alexander of Planet Fitness in Solon. “You can feed off of each other’s energy. You can be each other’s backbones, so to speak.”

Ed King, one of the owners

of Kings Gym, says that he has a number of husband-wife combinations attending his gym – leading to a number of perks.

For one, it’s time together.

As Alexander notes, it’s easy, particularly these days with so many people going above and beyond 40 hours a week at their jobs, for relationships to turn mundane.

“Hey honey, how was your day?” is followed minutes later by, “My day was fine, can we just turn on the TV?” The gym provides a potential escape from that routine.

“They may not have the

18 | BALANCEDFAMILY | SPRING 2016

time. They might not see each other except for a couple hours a day,” Alexander says. “Being around each other is going to make the relationship flourish.”

In particular, it enhances the “team” aspect of a relationship – and uses the strength implicit in that team at the gym. Married couples work together in many facets of life – to raise a family, to maintain a house, to cook meals. Why not work together to stay healthy as well?

“When you have two people in the household on the same page when it comes to fitness and living a healthy lifestyle, it helps both stay on task much more consistently,” King says.

When both members of a couple agree that the gym is an important priority, it makes scheduling far easier.

In addition, when one person

is a gym user and the other is a couch potato, the latter can make maintaining healthy habits awfully difficult for the former. The gym user returns home and is surrounded by the temptations of a lazier life.

“Maybe, I won’t go to the gym tonight,” one starts to think.

“Perhaps I’ll stay home and watch ‘American Idol’ with my husband instead.” Or, “Oh, he has barbecue chips. Maybe I’ll just have a few.”

We all know how that ends.

“When a husband and wife train together, it takes that component out of it and they are more apt to live that lifestyle together,” King says.

“I find it to be a very positive thing when both husband and wife embrace exercise and a healthier lifestyle. It gives them a better chance of success.”

And it’s not all about smiling together and supporting

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each other. There’s also an element of showing off for one another. Like a bird preening for a potential mate, there’s something about a love interest that makes people up their game. What a great element to add to your workout. With one’s boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife watching, suddenly he or she finds the motivation to run that extra lap or do that extra set.

“They don’t want to be the one to stop first,” King says.

“You would definitely want to show out, so to speak,” Alexander says.

Working out with one’s significant other isn’t always best.

There may be days, Alexander notes, when you’re better off working out alone.

Perhaps one member of the couple has had a really bad day at work and just needs to

blow off some steam alone.

Perhaps the couple is coming off a brutal fight the night before, requiring alone time.

There’s also the matter of balance. Many enjoy working out with friends – and that’s a valuable way for them to maintain contact. You don’t necessarily want to replace your friends with your significant other. Alone time at the gym can also be valuable.

For Alexander, then, it’s a matter of balance.

“You’ll benefit from all three depending on what’s going on throughout the day,” Alexander says.

Balance aside, however, it’s definitely time to consider incorporating your significant other into your workout routine.

“The pros definitely outweigh the cons,” Alexander says. BF

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SPRING 2016 | BALANCEDFAMILY | 19

Through Girls With Sole, Liz Ferro is using athletics to help at-risk Northeast Ohio teens who’ve endured troubling childhoods – much like she did

Heart & sole Story by Kristen Mott Photography by Michael C. Butz

20 | BALANCEDFAMILY | SPRING 2016

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Girls With Sole founder Liz Ferro, in the green shirt, leads a group of teens in a self-esteem building activity at the Lorain High School Annex gymnasium.

L

iz Ferro knows how to command attention.

With her blonde pixie cut and neon green shirt, she stands out in Lorain High School Annex’s school gymnasium on a dreary February afternoon, and with her contagious smile, encouraging voice and vibrant personality, she gains the notice and trust

balancedmag.com

of the dozen or so teenage girls gathered to join her at the end of their school day.

“Come on, girls, you’ve got this!” Ferro, 47, shouts to motivate the girls as they run 20 laps around the gym.

Twenty laps around a gym might not be everyone’s idea of fun, but the girls are there by choice – for the fifth week in a row – as participants in Ferro’s Girls With Sole, a program that uses fitness and wellness as vehicles for

empowering girls who are at-risk or have experienced abuse.

Running laps is but one part of the equation.

Prior to running, the girls received new running shoes for having reached certain goals, and following, Ferro led the group in a selfesteem building activity.

By the end, everyone was all smiles, looking forward to the following week’s session.

“These girls so need the camaraderie and the positive stimulus,” says Teresa Starkey, a math teacher who assists Ferro in Lorain.

The Lorain High School Annex is home to the school district’s Credit Recovery Academy, which employs a technologybased curriculum designed to help at-risk students.

About 300 such students are enrolled in it, including these dozen girls.

SPRING 2016 | BALANCEDFAMILY | 21

Physical activity and sports play a central role in Girls With Sole. Here, Liz Ferro joins the girls in sprints from one end of the gym to the other.

At face value, Girls With Sole is a fitness and wellness program. But on a deeper level, Girls With Sole aims to provide at-risk teens a place where they can fully express themselves and build within themselves a sense of belonging.

That sense of being alone in the world is something Ferro knows well.

Growing up, she endured physical and psychological abuse and engaged in selfdestructive behavior, but through her passion for sports – particularly running – Ferro regained control of her life.

Now, she hopes to teach young women how to do the same.

DIFFICULT CHILDHOOD Born in Rochester, N.Y., in 1969, Ferro was put into Catholic Charities by her biological parents for foster care. By the time she was adopted at 2 years old, she’d lived in four foster homes.

“My (adoptive) mom tells me vivid stories about the day I was dropped off by the social worker,” Ferro says.

“She told me how sad my eyes were to her, and for her to say that I had the saddest

22 | BALANCEDFAMILY | SPRING 2016

eyes she had ever seen is really saying something, because my mom grew up during World War II in Germany.”

When she was 8, Ferro was sexually abused by her neighbor. At the request of her mother, Ferro kept the abuse a secret and didn’t tell anyone, including her own father, until many years later.

Keeping such secrets can corrode one’s emotional insides, and not fully dealing with her trauma led to explosive outbursts at school and at home. Ferro struggled to maintain good grades and

found it difficult to participate in organized group activities.

Fortunately, Ferro’s father saw that she needed an outlet for her pent-up energy and introduced her to high school sports like swimming, gymnastics, track, softball and basketball.

“I’ve always been into sports, and I honestly have my dad to thank for that,” she says. “At a very young age, he could see that I had a lot of energy and a lot of it would be spent in negative ways if I didn’t have a better place to channel it. So he put me in everything under the sun.”

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SPRING 2016 | BALANCEDFAMILY | 23

One of the incentives Girls With Sole participants are offered for reaching their goals is a pair of new running shoes.

Ferro’s desire to attend college was met by several rejection letters until she discovered Niagara University, a private liberal arts college in New York that offered her a walk-on spot on the swim team.

During her years at Niagara University, Ferro swam, played rugby and tennis, and improved her grades enough to make the dean’s list, but lurking just below those successes was her secret struggle with bulimia.

“Sometimes, I would throw up in my room before going to practice. It was taking a toll on my body and mostly my psyche,” she says. “The thing that got me past it was I kept telling myself that I’m an athlete, and if I want my body to perform and keep moving the way I want it to, then I couldn’t treat it the way I was. It took a lot of work, but I didn’t want to live like that. I also didn’t want to ruin the one good thing that I had, which was athletics.”

After spending two years at Niagara, Ferro transferred to Miami University in Oxford. She graduated in 1991 with a degree in communications.

“That was a day nobody thought would ever come, including me,” Ferro says with a laugh. After graduation, Ferro spent a year working at a patent law office in Munich, Germany, after which she moved back to the states and settled in Northeast Ohio.

RELATIONSHIP HIGHS, LOWS Living in Lakewood and in her mid-20s, Ferro entered her first serious romantic relationship, with a man named Randy. During their two years together, Ferro said she endured verbal and physical abuse.

“That was a really difficult time in my life,” she says. “You might slightly understand in your head that your self-esteem is so low and you can be so easily swayed by negative talk from other people, but knowing who I am now and looking back at (who I was then), I can’t believe how down on myself I was. I would never let anyone treat me like that now.”

When Ferro left the relationship, sports served as her base.

“When you’re put down constantly or told

24 | BALANCEDFAMILY | SPRING 2016

how crazy you are, you truly believe it. I honestly didn’t believe I deserved any better,” she says. “If I didn’t have athletics to be that one positive light, it probably just never would’ve dawned on me to get out of there. It was the only thing that kept me going to be more positive and more optimistic.”

A few years later, in 1997, Ferro met a man named Joe at a Halloween party. Two weeks later, they got married in a Las Vegas wedding chapel.

“I called my mom and dad from a pay phone and told them I was married,” Ferro recalls. “They were freaking out. They didn’t even know who he was. They had never met him. I had just met him.”

In response to her abusive relationship with Randy, Ferro decided to marry the first nice guy she met. She also was longing for a baby, and by New Year’s Eve, Ferro was pregnant.

Her son, Jacob, was born on Sept. 1, 1998.

However, Ferro struggled with being a 29-year-old newlywed with a newborn baby. To make matters worse, Ferro learned before Jake was born that Joe had a drinking problem.

“We didn’t have any money. I was just totally in survival mode. The only balancing being done was figuring out where the money was going to come from for diapers,” she says.

To make ends meet, Ferro worked as a cleaning lady and a nanny for a local attorney. With Joe’s drinking only worsening, Ferro filed for divorce after two years.

“Everyone was chalking

it up to another impetuous decision gone awry for me at that point,” she says. “I was being majorly judged, but I was so used to it at that point from my family and my friends that I didn’t care. I knew I had to do the right thing for me and my family.”

Once again, athletics provided a remedy.

While running the third mile of the Cleveland Marathon in 2000, Ferro was approached by a fellow runner named Frank. The two ran the marathon’s remaining 23 miles side by side, and after several months of dating, they got married at Cleveland City Hall. Their daughter Morgan was born March 13, 2001, and today, the family of four lives in Rocky River. “(Frank) is a strong person, which you have to be to be with me, and that’s probably why we work – because we even each other out,” she says, adding she’s drawn to his kind heart and caring demeanor. “He loved me for me, and I didn’t have to pretend or ever change anything. I could just be totally myself and not be embarrassed by my past.”

HELPING OTHERS Ferro was working as executive director of Wigs for Kids, a local nonprofit that helps children overcome physical and psychological challenges related to hair loss, when she realized she wanted to combine her desire to help others with her passion for athletics.

In 2009, she founded Girls With Sole.

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SPRING 2016 | BALANCEDFAMILY | 25

me, people told me I was crazy, that it would never work, that I would have to take the word ‘abuse’ out of my mission statement because nobody would support it,” Ferro says. “If I help one kid and it fizzles away and doesn’t work and you want to call it a failure, you can. But if I’m able to help that one kid, then I didn’t fail.”

To spread the word about Girls With Sole, Ferro passed out pamphlets and T-shirts when attending open forums and meetings for social workers. Her first program partner was the Intergenerational School in Cleveland. Eventually, Bellefaire JCB in Shaker Heights and the Cleveland During a self-esteem building exercise, the girls write positive sayings that Rape Crisis Center joined.

Girls With Sole they then place in buckets for others to pull from during bad days. programs are now available throughout Cuyahoga, Lorain and Stark counties.

The organization also recently opened its first chapter in Charleston, S.C., While some Girls With Sole programs are funded through thanks to a woman who grants, much of the money used for the programming is raised read about Girls With Sole through various fundraisers – including races and marathons run by in Runner’s World magazine. founder Liz Ferro.

The programs, most of In 2013, though, she took her money- and awareness-raising which are 12 weeks and running up a notch.

“I thought, what could I do that would put me out of my created solely by Ferro, comfort zone and also really raise awareness? It made sense to introduce girls to various me to run a marathon in all 50 states because we want to be a sports and fitness concepts national organization by the year 2020,” she says. and incorporate self-esteemFerro initially gave herself a five-year deadline, but as 2016 building activities. The goal is begins, she’s only seven states away from reaching her goal: for the girls to run in a race Alaska, Iowa, Kansas, Montana, North Dakota, Oklahoma and at the culmination of each Washington.

She ran 18 marathons in 2015 alone. Her next marathon is program. scheduled for March 24, and if all goes according to plan, she’ll The girls also are given finish her 50th state by July. incentives, including sports “A lot of people think if you’re not making a huge impact, then bras, new running shoes you’re not doing anything, but one person can still do something,” and a copy of Ferro’s book, Ferro says of her fundraising efforts.

“Finish Line Feeling,” to “Unfortunately, with our short attention span and our need for encourage them to show up immediate gratification, if something isn’t earth-shattering, then people figure why bother? But really, small pieces can still end up and participate. making a huge impact at some point. It’s all a marathon.”

Ferro says one of the – Kristen Mott main reasons she wanted to create this organization was To learn more about Girls With Sole, visit girlswithsole.org. to ensure that young girls

FUND RUNS

26 | BALANCEDFAMILY | SPRING 2016

didn’t have to suffer through the same life experiences as she had.

“I just didn’t want any girl to feel the pain and ugliness that I had inside of me for so long,” Ferro says. “It’s a horrible feeling of being a prisoner in your own body and hating yourself. I literally hated myself, and that’s an awful place to be. I didn’t want anyone else to ever feel that way.”

Ferro’s work is paying off, and her impact on the girls in Lorain is evident. While some started that day’s session quiet and reserved, just an hour later they were laughing with one another.

“When I come here every week, it makes me feel better about myself,” says Jada McCall of Lorain, who found out about Girls With Sole from the school’s morning announcements.

“I like the activities we do because Liz makes them fun and energetic,” says Keiera White of Lorain.

Ferro estimates that more than 700 girls have participated in Girls With Sole. By spending an hour or two each week with these girls, Ferro hopes she’s teaching them to be resilient and helping them realize they have the power to determine their own futures.

“To be a productive person in society, you have to feel good about yourself enough to want to be a productive person, and I feel like that’s what we do,” she says. “We’re giving them hope and we’re teaching them to believe in themselves. They only need one person, one adult, to believe in them – and they’ve got me.” BF

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SPRING 2016 | BALANCEDFAMILY | 27

BALANCEDMIND

I

t’s not surprising that feeling grateful makes us feel good. But did you know that gratitude has real, tangible benefits for the heart?

A 2015 study published by the American Psychological Association showed that recognizing and giving thanks for the positive aspects of life can result in improved mental, and ultimately physical, health in patients with asymptomatic heart failure.

The study’s lead author, Paul J. Mills, professor of family medicine and public health at the University of California, San Diego, says he and his team found that greater amounts of gratitude in research subjects were associated with better mood, better sleep, less fatigue and lower levels of inflammatory biomarkers related to cardiac health.

Northeast Ohio experts agree that a positive mental attitude can be good for one’s heart.

Douglas J. Moore, a psychologist, life coach and spiritual director at the Cleveland Center for Conscious Living in Independence, says research has shown that when we feel gratitude, it helps to

synchronize the brain and the heart rhythm.

“This is what we call coherence,” he says. “If you can imagine a graph that has a line going up and down across the page, this represents the heartbeat. When there’s an even number between the spaces, it’s called coherence.

When we become stressed, it’s much more irregular.”

When we are in coherence, our body functions more efficiently, Moore says.

“Our emotions are more balanced, and we have improved mental clarity and brain functioning,” he says.

“That’s what the research is showing, that there are biochemical changes in the brain that occur.”

Dr. Leanne Chrisman-Khawam, a family medicine physician at MetroHealth Medical Center in Cleveland, agrees there are changes in the brain that occur as a result of being grateful.

“We know there are direct neural changes that happen,” she says. “There have been studies in psychology and neural imaging that have looked at the brains of people.

Like when they’re watching the movie, ‘Pay it Forward,’ you can identify things that will light up.”

In one study, ChrismanKhawam says, people said gratitude improved their life function scores.

“If our mental health is good, it makes us more adaptive, so we’re open to change,” she says. “It makes us more flexible so when bad things happen, we don’t respond with as much fight-orflight response.”

DHEA, a hormone that comes from the adrenal gland and helps with anti-

aging, increases the more we practice gratitude, Moore says.

“Our immune system gets boosted because of a particular antibody that gets produced,” he says. “It even changes our brain neuropathways, so the more we experience gratitude, the more likely we are to automatically experience it.

“Because our brain starts to rewire itself around gratitude, what we choose to think about is what we are going to manifest in ourselves. If we focus on something we feel grateful for, then we’re more likely to feel that more and more.”

HAPPY HEARTS Gratitude can lift one’s spirits, and according to recent research, it can also lift one’s heart health

By Ed Wittenberg

28 | BALANCEDFAMILY | SPRING 2016

balancedmag.com

BALANCEDMIND

“Even the pain and struggles in life become opportunities to learn how to be grounded, centered and compassionate.

When we allow it, the pain strengthens our ability to have compassion and gratitude.”

Douglas J. Moore Cleveland Center for Conscious Living There are also epigenetic factors that can play a role in gratitude helping the heart, Chrisman-Khawam says.

“For instance, if you have

a mother who is grateful and has a flexible personality, it can be passed through genes for several generations,” she says. “Or if you have a mom who is nurturing, it can make you happy and grateful. The turned-on gene can be passed from generation to generation, through our DNA.” By the same token, people often have a perception that they are “hard wired” to be either grateful or not grateful, but it’s really something that can become a learned or practiced skill, ChrismanKhawam says.

“So if you write down one good thing that happened today and do it every day, you can start to become that flexible, adaptive, grateful person,” she says.

Moore, who has been in practice for 35 years, says many people have a hard time

developing gratitude because they are focused on pain in their lives.

“People should ask themselves, ‘As much as gratitude has positive benefits, how can I be grateful when I live with pain?’” he says.

Many people have the perception that “the grass is greener on the other side,” says Chrisman-Khawam, who has worked at MetroHealth for five years.

“We have to stop focusing on looking at others’ lives and comparing them to our own and only look from within,” she says.

The key to developing gratitude is to begin to see life as a gift, Moore says.

“We oftentimes experience it as a gift if we have a neardeath experience,” he says.

“Then we’re much more likely to be grateful that we’re alive.

But often we get caught up in the pain or stress of life, and we have to step back and be able to see life as a gift and an opportunity.

“Even the pain and struggles in life become opportunities to learn how to be grounded, centered and compassionate. When we allow it, the pain strengthens our ability to have compassion and gratitude.”

Beauty is all around us, and we just have to look for it, Chrisman-Khawam says.

“Even if you’re trapped in a neighborhood that doesn’t have sidewalks or a park, you can still look outside and see the sky,” she says. “You have to find those small things.

There are really simple things that we can be grateful for, and it’s about becoming more mindful of those things in our everyday lives.” BF

for Skilled Nursing and Rehabilitation.

For a full list of locations in the Cleveland area, visit EmbassyHealthcare.net or call (888) 975-1379. balancedmag.com

SPRING 2016 | BALANCEDFAMILY | 29

BALANCEDMIND

OFF AIR THE

Watching too much TV has been shown to affect cognitive focus, but exercise and good health practices help stem the tide

By Ed Wittenberg

C

ommon sense tells us that watching too much television is not good for us.

In fact, research has shown that young adults who spend more time on the couch than at the gym may end up paying for it with diminished mental performance in middle age.

But what is the cause of this decline in cognitive function?

Dr. Philipp Dines, a psychiatrist who specializes in neurological disorders, says it’s a lack of stimulation of brain activity.

“What happens is people who watch TV get focused on a particular activity and are

not really broadening their mind, and the content they are watching is not really stimulating and not promoting brain health,” says Dines, who serves as director of neurogero psychiatric inpatient services at University Hospitals Case Medical Center in Cleveland.

“A lot of TV programs promote pathological functioning. There’s a lot of violence and a lack of respect for other people or creatures.

So what happens is they are promoting behaviors in

30 | BALANCEDFAMILY | SPRING 2016

primitive thinking and not really developing secondary processes that are part of the expansion of their brain and thought abilities.”

Researchers at the University of California, San Francisco, checked in with 3,247 people for 25 years, starting when they were young adults. The study, published in December in JAMA Psychiatry, found that people who got little exercise or watched at least three hours of TV a day did worse on tests measuring cognitive focus and speed than those who got more exercise or watched less TV. Dines, who has worked at UH more than 25 years, says

elderly people who watch too much TV are susceptible to a similar decline over time.

“There are a lot of similarities for both groups, with both having a tendency to preoccupy themselves with primitive processes,” he says.

“An analogy in physical health is not developing muscles and the robustness of physical abilities. It’s the same with mental issues.”

But watching television in itself is not the problem, Dines says; rather, it’s the content of the programs.

“So much of what is promoted on TV is at a very primitive level,” he says. “With much of this content, you’re

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not promoting data acquisition and retention and not promoting skill-set expansion.

“On the other hand, programming that promotes education, the arts, music and other things that challenge and exercise the brain is likely to be healthy – instructional things that challenge the mind and promote different points of view and different areas of brain function.”

Eric Malkin, owner and president of Homewatch CareGivers, a home care provider in Beachwood that specializes in elder care, says he can’t necessarily pinpoint a decline in senior citizens’ cognitive function on watching too much TV. “I can speculate that watching television mindlessly may have some negative effects on the brain,” he says. “But that assumes the brain is not getting stimulated in other ways.

“In fact, if watching a TV program is educational and makes you think, one might argue there could be some positive effects to that.

That’s not based on anything factual; it’s based on my own hypothesis.”

Malkin, who started his business in 2006, says the decline in cognitive skills often seen in elderly people is not necessarily due to dementia or Alzheimer’s disease, but rather a decline in the brain due to the aging process and atrophy.

“We see evidence of cognitive decline quite often; 80 percent of our clients suffer from that,” he says. “So while I can’t say one way or another that watching too much television has any correlation to cognitive decline, we have seen evidence that suggests that proper mental stimulation can have a positive impact on cognitive ability.”

“A lot of TV programs promote pathological functioning. There’s a lot of violence and a lack of respect for other people or creatures. So what happens is they are promoting behaviors in primitive thinking and not really developing secondary processes that are part of the expansion of their brain and thought abilities.”

Dr. Philipp Dines University Hospitals Case Medical Center Activities encouraged for clients by Homewatch CareGivers to keep them mentally active, Malkin says, include cooking and going through photo albums.

“We like to try to find out what their interests are and design activities around those,” he says.

Research has shown that exercise and good health practices affect both the brain and the body in a positive way, Dines says.

“The brain is an organ like any other, and if you don’t use it, you lose it,” he says. “If you let a car sit around for years and years, it will deteriorate. But if you keep that car going, it will probably run better.

“The same applies for exercising your brain. There’s a lot of evidence that not exercising the brain is a high risk factor for degenerative functioning later in life.” BF

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WELLNESSDIRECTORY JARED WEST LICENSED ACUPUNCTURIST

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IS MINDLESS EATING CONTROLLING YOUR LIFE? TURN MINDLESS EATING INTO MINDFUL EATING

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SPRING 2016 | BALANCEDFAMILY | 33

CAREERPATH BETH KUHEL

Maximize your experience Getting the most out of going to college requires more than it used to

E

very college applicant experiences waves of excitement, anxiety and fear while waiting to hear the outcome of his or her application. Most parents share in their children’s anxiety and feel great relief when, at long last, the thick envelope arrives with a “golden ticket” for college admission!

In today’s challenging economy, a heavy price tag and responsibility are associated with a college education. The days when college was merely a rite of passage into the workforce or a time to cultivate one’s intellect without concern for life after graduation are long gone. Some college students and parents question investing in a college degree altogether.

To help navigate the potentially choppy waters of going to college, I offer the following pieces of advice.

Whether you’re a teenager about to matriculate or the parent of someone checking into a dorm for the first time, consider these tips your first college care package.

Maximize your experience: Many schools have student ratings for professors. Know that some famous professors are given privileges to teach based on their professional accomplishments, but they aren’t always great educators.

Ask other students who’ve

taken such a professor’s course before enrolling so you don’t get stuck with a “big name” who rests on his laurels but is a poor teacher. It’s a huge hassle to drop a class and scramble to find another suitable course to fill a requirement; research this ahead of time.

Explore early: Freshman year is a great time to explore different disciplines and to start developing your social network. Over the next four years, develop your network with people in different disciplines and with those who recognize your talents.

Build your network: The relationships you build with peers, professors, employers and career guidance counselors often lead to internships and job offers. Try to foster relationships with career counselors and teaching assistants to solicit advice on choosing a major, a minor and corresponding internships.

Seek out peers and upper classmen making a difference on campus for insight on best

34 | BALANCEDFAMILY | SPRING 2016

courses, best professors, contests and internships.

Explore social clubs on campus and join those that align with your personal values. Also, get involved in an extracurricular activity you love and talk to people there to get ideas about their majors and career goals.

Consider a minor: Supplementing your major with a minor in another field can make you a more interesting and desirable candidate for jobs. A minor usually entails half the courses of a major and is designed to give you a solid introduction to the field.

If you’re wondering what electives to take, a minor can help focus your course work and allow you to take classes that could balance your major.

For non-engineering, nontechnical types, I advise picking a major you love (not necessarily as a practical pursuit, but in a discipline that excites you) and a minor that could afford you practical skills.

For example, major in English with a minor in computer science and web design. The skills you acquire as a writer combined with your knowledge of literature combined with knowing how to code or develop websites could help get you hired as a technical writer or in a marketing role. Develop skills that will be transferable to

the workplace so you’ll be marketable after college.

Build transferrable skills: These are skills that apply to any setting and will enhance your LinkedIn profile and résumé. It will help to understand the definition of various skills and be able to describe how you have attained those skills.

• Communication skills: expressing ideas, facilitating discussions or meetings, listening, negotiating, presenting, speaking a foreign language, speaking and writing effectively; • Interpersonal skills: coaching, conflict resolution, crisis management, delegating responsibility, handling complaints, motivating and team building; • Leadership skills: dealing with and effecting change, decision-making, innovation implementation, persuasion and training.

Good Luck on this exciting next stage of growth, exploration and advancement.

Beth Kuhel, M.B.A., C.E.I.P., is a Business Insider, Huffington Post, Forbes and Entrepreneur magazine contributor, and an executive and millennial career coach. Follow Beth on Twitter at @BethKuhel and learn more at fromdiploma2dreamjob.com.

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