Bar•Bat Mitzvah: Fall/Winter 2014

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Mitzvah Bar•Bat

FALL 2014

TIME TO CELEBRATE Inside: B’nai mitzvah memories as well as tips for party planning, venue selection, gift giving and more

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Mitzvah Bar•Bat

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Contents

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Fall 2014

Looking Back Well-known Northeast Ohioans remember their bar or bat mitzvah

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Dealing With Feelings Planning a bar or bat mitzvah can bring about a host of emotions and stress, but maintaining perspective and accepting help can smooth the process

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42

Jewish Secular Community returns to offering b’nai mitzvah services

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Mitzvah Bar•Bat

FALL 2014

Inside: B’nai mitzvah memories as well as tips for party planning, venue selection, gift giving and more

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4 Bar/Bat Mitzvah // Fall 2014

Bar Location, Bat Location For a bar or bat mitzvah, a location’s look can make the occasion extra-memorable

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Adventurous Celebrations Sky Zone and Zip City offer unique opportunities for b’nai mitzvah parties

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Distinctive Gifts More personal b’nai mitzvah presents can leave lasting impressions

50 Cover photo | David Tavens / Natural Light Studio

Ask A Pro Planning tips about floral design, catering, entertainment, photography, stationery, girls’ clothing and synagogue receptions

WWW.BARBATMAGAZINE.COM

tIMe to CeLeBRAte

Get the Party Started Throwing a successful bar or bat mitzvah party requires good planning

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A Discovery, a Homecoming

Money in the Bank Financial b’nai mitzvah gifts can teach valuable lessons

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Planner Budget

At Hilton Garden Inn Cleveland East and our spectacular 700 Beta Banquet and Conference Center, we are committed to helping you plan, create and execute the perfect bar/bat mitzvah. With 128 impeccable guest rooms, multiple ballrooms and extraordinary catering, you can rest assured that your bar/bat mitzvah will be truly memorable.

Conveniently located on Beta Drive, just off the Wilson Mills Road/I-271 exit.

Call our Mitzvah Specialists today! (440) 646¡1777 700 Beta Drive ¡ Cleveland, OH 44143 www.HGIClevelandEast.com www.700Beta.com

Celebratory

atmosphere T

here’s been a lot of talk about parties in Greater Cleveland lately.

The Republican National Convention will arrive in downtown Cleveland during the summer of 2016, when GOP delegates will select their party’s presidential ticket for that year’s election.

The four-day event will likely bring tens of thousands of visitors and hundreds of millions of dollars into the region, many of whom and much of which will be spent on celebrating the conclusion of the primaries and turning toward November.

Speaking of celebrating, the city might throw itself a slightly more elaborate party – one that could involve a parade down East Ninth Street or Superior Avenue – in June.

Dare I say it? The city might celebrate an NBA championship courtesy of the David Blatt-led Cleveland Cavaliers. The buzz is justified since Blatt, who last season led Maccabi Tel Aviv to a Euroleague championship, is managing a team that includes three all-star players: LeBron James, Kevin Love and Kyrie Irving.

Cleveland hasn’t experienced parties like that since 1936 and 1964, respectively. But those big, one-of-a-kind bashes aside, Cleveland is no stranger to parties.

In fact, parties – smaller-scale affairs that still require elaborate and careful planning – happen here all the time. As a result, Northeast Ohio is home to an expertly skilled event-planning industry.

In Bar-Bat Mitzvah magazine, we aim to provide parents with access to those experts as well as a wealth of other resources to help them plan events around the big day, from question-andanswer sessions with experienced professionals about things like photography, entertainment, catering, stationery and floral arrangements to articles that pick the brains of event planners and provide ideas for venues and memorable gifts.

We also delve into stories from within Cleveland’s Jewish community, including a look at how to handle the potential stress involved leading up to the celebration and asking some well-known members of the community to recollect their bar or bat mitzvah.

Whatever your bar or bat mitzvah planning needs, I hope you find everything you’re looking for here – and that it might also help you prepare for potential citywide parties in the near future.

Have a story idea or potential cover photo you’d like us to consider for the next issue of Bar-Bat Mitzvah magazine? Please email it to me at mbutz@cjn.org and include “BBM” in the subject line.

6 Bar/Bat Mitzvah // Fall 2014

Mitzvah Bar•Bat

Editor Michael C. Butz Art Directors Rob J. Ghosh Jon Larson Cleveland Jewish Publication Company Publisher & CEO Kevin S. Adelstein Director of Sales Adam Mandell CJN Managing Editor Bob Jacob Controller Tracy DiDomenico Director Of Publishing Operations & Digital Strategy RJ Pooch Events & Marketing Manager Kelly Millet Editorial Jacqueline Mitchell Kristen Mott Ed Wittenberg Carlo Wolff Advertising Marcia Bakst Paul Bram Ron Greenbaum Andy Isaacs Andria M. Kaplan Nell V. Kirman Gina Lloyd Sherry Tilson Subscriber Services 216-342-5183 circulation@cjn.org Editorial Services 216-342-5207 editorial@cjn.org Display Advertising 216-342-5204 adsales@cjn.org

VOL. 138 NO. 48 CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS (ISSN0009-8825) is published weekly with additional issues in January, March, May, June, August, October, November and December by The Cleveland Jewish Publication Company at 23880 Commerce Park, Suite 1, Cleveland, OH 44122-5380. Single copy $1.25.

Periodicals Postage paid at Cleveland, OH., and additional mailing offices.

POSTMASTER and additional mailing offices. Send address changes to the Cleveland Jewish News, 23880 Commerce Park, Suite 1, Cleveland, OH 44122-5380

Looking back

Well-known Northeast Ohioans remember their bar or bat mitzvah LEFT: From left, Steve Presser looks on as his mother, Beverly, and father, Marvin, light candles on a cake.

BELOW: Presser sings at his bar mitzvah.

Steve Presser

Owner, Big Fun Toy Store PHOTOS | Steve Presser

By Carlo Wolff

C

leveland Heights businessman Steve Presser, the man behind Big Fun, collected big time at his bar mitzvah and had a blast afterward. The service date was Dec. 5, 1970, the place Park Synagogue Main in Cleveland Heights, the draw 250. The hosts included prominent labor figures such as his uncle Jackie, then president of the Teamsters Union.

Presser’s grandfather was William Presser, international vice president of the Teamsters, “a very influential person and incredibly nice person, and we invited some of his business associates, one in particular who was, we’ll say, ‘connected,’” Presser says. “And he sent me a very nice note saying he’d never been to a bar mitzvah before and a check for $100, which was a lot of money back then, and he was sorry he would not be able to make it.”

Plans changed.

Presser continues: “His name

ended in a vowel, and unbeknownst to me he had some business dealings in Cleveland and he was actually able to make it to my bar mitzvah, and he was there for my service.”

After the service, Mr. Connected approached the bar mitzvah boy. “He was overcome with – I don’t know – joy, happiness, emotions, he came up to me afterward and said, ‘You had done such a beautiful job,’ like he knew what a bar mitzvah was about, ‘thank you so much for inviting me to my first bar mitzvah,’ and he

8 Bar/Bat Mitzvah // Fall 2014

shook my hand and in his hand there was paper.”

Presser laughs.

“There were bills, dollar bills, there were four large dollar bills.

I put them in a pocket, and the next time I was in the bathroom, I reached in my pocket and there were four large dollar bills he had given me. It was my first and only professional singing gig.”

He never saw that particular benefactor again. “I think he met his demise sometime down the road. I met him once and only once and that was back then.”

The group then adjourned to the after-party at the Eastgate Coliseum in Mayfield Heights, a long-defunct facility with all kinds of entertainment opportunities – and family connections.

“The party was catered by my cousin Lenny Fishman, the caterer extraordinaire of that day. He was, I think, the caterer of choice at Park

and several other places and he did a beautiful, beautiful job. The beautiful colors of my bar mitzvah were yellow and brown,” he laughs, “and then the kids’ party was at the Coliseum at Eastgate, and like the Colosseum in Rome, it no longer exists. We had bowling, we had pinball, we had billiards, and we had swimming. The reason I bring it up is the Coliseum was owned by my uncle Jackie Presser, so it was really a family affair.

“Having a bar mitzvah party like that was soup to nuts. The guys were doing cannonballs, splashing all the girls, the food was great.

“At the kids’ party, we had over 100. It was fun because there was dancing, there was music, and I did not reach puberty until I was, like, 17 years old, so I was a little shrimp. Let’s just say that dancing was an enjoyable time for me.

Geographically enjoyable.” BB

IT’S TIME TO CELEBRATE

Our team provides seamless service from start to finish and the know-how to make your bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah celebration a unique and memorable family experience. customized party planning with professional event specialists n expert culinary team and world-class menu options n traditional or trendy dĂŠcor and party details n flexible event space n newly redesigned guest rooms, suites and public spaces n graciously attentive service professionals welcome your family and friends of all ages n

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It’s time to party!

Bigger and better than ever, the 19th Annual PartyPalooza returns Nov. 9

By Sherri Foxman

W PartyPalooza WHAT: 19th Annual PartyPalooza WHEN: 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. Sunday, Nov. 9 WHERE: Executive Caterers at Landerhaven, Mayfield Heights INFO: Sherri Foxman, Party411 Events, 216-514-8411 or partygirl@party411.com

hether it’s a party or special event in your immediate future, you won’t want to miss the 19th Annual PartyPalooza where everyone in the business gets together to promote services, products and special effects. The result is one huge party/special event/celebration at which you’ll be entertained, fed and given some of the best day-of-show discounts you’ll find all year on celebratory items for your next event.

Food will abound, both from caterers across the region and Executive Caterers at Landerhaven. Also, the latest party trends will be on display, and the newest of the area’s new vendors will be there to tell you who and what they are all about. In fact, you’ll be able to plan your event

Basketball is a favorite. Here’s the bar mitzvah boy welcoming all!

10 Bar/Bat Mitzvah // Fall 2014

from start to finish without ever leaving the hallowed grounds of Landerhaven.

Cleveland has changed. So many new vendors with new products, venues and unique distractions have joined our ranks in the last year, I find it fascinating. Party411 Events,

especially me, spends an inordinate amount of time poring over trade magazines, going to trade shows (from east to west) just to find out what’s new, what’s going on and how we can bring it to Cleveland – as do the other event planners in Northeast Ohio.

Not that Cleveland doesn’t have an abundance of talented folks, because it does. But there’s now more to choose from and many of these vendors will be represented at PartyPalooza.

Creativity will ooze from each and every booth.

Food isn’t just food anymore, it’s entertainment – and how you display it is 50 percent of the appeal.

Music isn’t just music anymore, it’s working with a knowledgeable person that “gets” what you want and knows how to work it.

Invitations have become their own art form, and depending on what you are celebrating, you may need a variety for a full weekend.

Entertainment isn’t just a band or DJ, it’s also walking champagne dresses, living statues, unusual distractions like an ice bar complete with carver, or a bartender who puts on a show.

When you plan a party, a wedding or a corporate event, you need myriad items. Well, get your list ready, because you’ll be able to check everything off in one day at PartyPalooza. Not only that, as

Seating cards for the same event using an actual gym floor as base.

Shopping for a photographer at PartyPalooza 2013!

I previously mentioned, many (and I mean many) of the vendors will have show specials – discounts you can realize by visiting their booths. A list of those specials will be in the Nov. 7 issue of the Cleveland Jewish News so you can come prepared. In other words, “have I got a deal for you!”

You’ll find everything there: invitations, welcome baskets for your hotel room guests (no matter what the event, it’s the right thing to do), venues, caterers, transportation, musicians/DJs, lighting and special effects, linens and other entertainment as mentioned above.

Creativity for me is No. 1. The best part of the event is planning it, whether my client chooses to do it all, or pieces and parts, or not at all. The time I’ve spent just sitting at my computer concocting all sorts of ideas and scenarios fulfills that need in me to outdo myself (knowing full well it may be too over the top). For example, we did a Food Channel theme for a party some time back, and I so wanted to replicate the opening of Iron

Chef. In other words, I wanted to bring out the guest of honor hidden under a “hood” with the “chairman” behind saying, “and our special ingredient today is …” and voila! She comes up from under the hood. What an opening. But I was the only one who thought so. (Maybe next time …)

Don’t let me scare you. You can do as little or as much as you want – theme or no theme. Spend as little or as much as you want – most of our vendors can meet your budget. Plan two years in advance or three weeks in advance, they have all been through these doors. (I was recently given a corporate event for 400 with 10 days to plan.)

And the vendors in this room will help you do it all.

Circle the calendar for Sunday, Nov. 9, 2014, from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. at Executive Caterers at Landerhaven in Mayfield Heights – and then get started.

I’ll be around if you want some free advice or just want to gab while doing tastings and dancing to the music.

See you then!

Fall 2014 // Bar/Bat Mitzvah 11

LEFT: Rabbi Melinda Mersack holds a lulav while her son, Kiva, holds an etrog as they discuss the meaning of Sukkot.

ABOVE: Rabbi William Leffler, officiating at Rabbi Melinda Mersack’s bat mitzvah, helps Mersack read from the Torah.

PHOTOS | Rabbi Melinda Mersack

Rabbi Melinda Mersack

Director of interfaith family engagement

By Ed Wittenberg

R

abbi Melinda Mersack believes her bat mitzvah was the entryway to her Jewish adulthood and into the Jewish choices she has made for herself and her family.

“Even though I was raised Jewish, and my family was very involved in Judaism and our congregation, I really think of that time in my life as being when I was old enough to say, ‘This is important to me,’” she says.

Mersack, 41, has served in the newly created position of director of interfaith family engagement for the Jewish Federation of Cleveland and the Jewish Education Center of Cleveland since May. She celebrated her bat mitzvah in May 1986 at Temple Adath Israel, a Reform congregation in Lexington, Ky., where she grew up.

“I remember being excited, a little bit anxious and nervous, but having a really good time in the

middle of it,” she says. “I was a little concerned about how quickly I was speaking and kept looking over at my mom, who would tell me to slow down if I needed to. But it was a nice event, and it was fun to be with family and the community.”

Mersack’s father had served as president of the temple, and her mother was sisterhood president.

Every summer, she would go to the Goldman Union Camp Institute, the Reform camp in Zionsville, Ind., for which she has served as Cleveland representative since 2011.

“I think I knew when I was 16 that I wanted to become a rabbi,” she says. “I went on a GUCI NFTY (North American Federation of Temple Youth) teen Israel trip, and

12 Bar/Bat Mitzvah // Fall 2014

when I came back, my parents remember me saying with certainty, ‘I want to be a rabbi.’

“So GUCI was a huge influence, along with my parents’ involvement in our congregation and Rabbi Jon Adland.”

Adland, who now serves as rabbi of Temple Israel in Canton, was not the rabbi who officiated at Mersack’s bat mitzvah, but he joined the temple’s clergy later that year.

“He’s the person I really think of as my rabbi today,” she says.

“He came at a time when I had a lot of questions about Judaism, and he was really accessible and easy to connect with. He was always able to answer my questions, and I think that really encouraged my curiosity about Judaism and my continued involvement, and it was one of the reasons that led me to this path today.”

In her new position, Mer-

sack says her goal is to serve as a resource and connector for interfaith families so they are welcomed in the Greater Cleveland Jewish community.

“Because everyone’s Jewish journey is so personal and individualized, it’s hard to know what’s going to spark something in someone else,” she said. “So my goal is to help people find that spark for themselves – what’s going to spark their passion or their curiosity about Judaism, the way mine was sparked.”

Mersack, who was ordained at Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institution of Religion in Cincinnati, also leads services at The R.H. Myers Apartments in Beachwood.

She previously served as a rabbi at Anshe Chesed Fairmount Temple in Beachwood.

Mersack and her husband, Mark Jacobs, live in Solon with their three sons: Isaiah, 12, Eli, 10, and Kiva, 7. BB

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hildren have wondrous imaginations. From a medieval fairytale reception with gilded tablescapes and personalized coats of armor, to an all-star basketball party complete with signed jerseys and slam dunk competition, the design options for a Bar or Bat Mitzvah are endless.

Executive Caterers has the perfect venue for any Bar or Bat Mitzvah party; Landerhaven boasts multiple spectacular spaces which can accommodate from 40 to 1,000 guests. If you really want your event to “rock”, host your party at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame + Museum and enjoy Executive Caterers special menus created by our executive chef John Taylor.

Want to be downtown, try the beautiful English Oak Room in Tower City Center. You can also choose to host the party at your home or any location of your choice; Executive Caterers will make it perfect.

When working with our staff of event planners, remember today’s B’nai Mitzvah events are multi-generational. The Bar or Bat Mitzvah, parents and grandparents all play a vital role. Adults love our tasty action stations; carving, grilling, sautéing or pasta with all the trimmings. The children love our burgers, hot dogs, chicken fingers and the fabulous ice cream sundae bar, but so do the adults who can always be found sampling the kids menu.

Families can work oneon-one with Landerhaven’s in-house designers to bring their ideas to life. From floral arrangements to dramatic lighting and table linens, the designers work with each family to create a truly

memorable event.

“Landerhaven is never the same place twice. We try to give our customer the flexibility to really create a space that makes dreams come alive,” stated Charles Klass, executive vice president.

Just as the design can be customized, so can the menu. Executive Chef John Taylor creates stunning and delectable hors D’oeuvres and entrees that evolve with each season. “I am very proud of how innovative our cuisine and presentations are. The entire team at Executive Caterers is helping customers create the kind of event they have always fantasized,” stated Klass.

Executive Caterers has years of experience with designing and hosting B’nai Mitzvah receptions. Its skilled team can offer advice and guidance to the entire family during the planning process. This includes Friday evening dinners for family and out of town guests, lunches and Sunday brunch.

At Landerhaven, each guest always receives free valet service and parking.

To quote our founder and president, Harlan Diamond, “When people come to us, it becomes part of a public trust that we take very seriously. We appreciate and love being part of their simchas.”

PHOTOS | Milton Maltz LEFT: Milton Maltz on the day of his bar mitzvah in 1942.

RIGHT: Maltz with his mother, Anna.

By Carlo Wolff

Milton Maltz

Chairman and CEO, The Malrite Company

M

ilton Maltz doesn’t remember much about his bar mitzvah, but he vividly recalls what led up to it.

The date was July 26, 1942, the place Beth Eliezer, an Orthodox shul on Drexel Boulevard in Chicago, where the South Bend, Ind. native spent much of his childhood. Maltz, a radio pioneer and president of The Malrite Company, had studied for the milestone occasion with an uncle in Cincinnati.

Maltz, who lives in Lyndhurst, had laryngitis that fateful day.

“It was crazy, as crazy as it could be,” he recalls. “I had laryngitis and had to sing from the bimah and I could hardly talk, my voice was so hoarse.”

But his pipes were strong enough so when he got to Beth

14 Bar/Bat Mitzvah // Fall 2014

Eliezer early that morning, he could tell the “shames” about his problem. The building caretaker had just the cure for what ailed young Milton.

It involved entering a place of power, the room where the shul’s elders met. It involved opening a special cabinet, too.

It involved getting buzzed, if not more.

“He said, ‘Don’t you worry, come with me,’ … ‘let’s go down to the basement.’ I knew that the elders met there; I never had a drink in my life,” Maltz says.

“We go downstairs, he opens a cabinet, pulls out a bottle of Canadian Club, he said, ‘Take,’ so

I said, ‘I don’t know, I never had one of these.’ He said, ‘It’ll clear your throat.’

“I drank a shot of that; I was gagging, it was horrible-tasting stuff, I couldn’t understand why anybody would want this.

He said take two, he pours me another shot, and frankly I don’t remember my bar mitzvah, but I was told I sang beautifully and all went well.

“I was drunk,” Maltz laughs, “but it cleared up my throat.”

What he does recall is flashes. “I was a little dizzy, but I’d studied hard and I had a speech,” he says. “Apparently, it went off pretty well.”

This was his only encounter with Canadian Club: “It’s the Canadian Club that changed my life.” BB

PHOTOS | Rabbi Joshua Skoff ABOVE: Rabbi Joshua Skoff reads a story to children at The Park Synagogue.

RIGHT: Baseball was a theme when The Park Synagogue honored Rabbi Joshua Skoff, an avid St. Louis Cardinals fan, with a special bar mitzvah ceremony marking his 13 years there in 2003.

Rabbi Joshua Skoff

Senior rabbi of The Park Synagogue

By Ed Wittenberg

W

hen Rabbi Joshua Skoff was a boy of 5 or 6, he talked about becoming a rabbi. That’s not surprising, considering his father, Rabbi Benson Skoff, was a prominent spiritual leader at synagogues in St. Louis for more than 50 years.

But when Skoff, senior rabbi of The Park Synagogue in Cleveland Heights and Pepper Pike, celebrated his bar mitzvah in 1973, joining the rabbinate was not at the forefront of his mind.

“I certainly felt very comfortable in the synagogue; I enjoyed being in the synagogue,” he says. “But I wasn’t thinking that day, ‘Oh, this is going to be my calling.’ It was later that I started feeling that this was my calling.”

Skoff’s bar mitzvah was at Brith Sholom Kneseth Israel in St. Louis, the Conservative synagogue led by his father, who died in April at age 91. He remembers being sick for sev-

eral days before the event.

“So the focus wasn’t so much on, ‘Am I going to know my part?’ because I realized I did know it,” he says. “The question was whether I was going to feel well enough to sing it.”

But Skoff got through it, and “it turned out OK,” he says.

“It was a packed house; I’d say we had 650 people there,” he says. “We had a nice chicken lunch, a congregational luncheon, afterward in the synagogue.”

At the party that evening, also at the synagogue, Skoff’s two older brothers “flipped vinyl on the turntable,” he says.

16 Bar/Bat Mitzvah // Fall 2014

The fourth of five children, Skoff says he didn’t feel any additional pressure as the son of a rabbi on his bar mitzvah day.

“I just think I felt very excited,” he says. “My family was there, I had my friends there and my teachers. I prepared the portion that was assigned.

“My dad helped me with my speech, the same way I helped my son with his (bar mitzvah) speech. Now looking back, I realize that was continued in the next generation.”

Skoff, 54, joined Park Synagogue’s clergy in 1990 and was named senior rabbi in 1992. In 2003, the synagogue honored him with a special bar mitzvah ceremony in tribute to his 13 years there.

“I relate to what the kids go through today because I remember my own (bar mitzvah) experience,” he says. “The bar mitzvah is about the day, but it’s

really more about what’s going on beyond the ceremony.

‘Mitzvah’ means ‘we need you.’

The message of the bar mitzvah is, ‘We need you to join this special group that helps to make the world better.’

“So it’s feeling that from my own bar mitzvah and wanting to impart that to the kids. It’s really about them joining a cause.”

Skoff was ordained at the Jewish Theological Seminary of America in New York. He also has a law degree from the George Washington University Law School in Washington, D.C., and practiced law for about a year before he began his rabbinical career.

Skoff and his wife, Ilana Hoffer Skoff, have a son, Jared, 21, and a daughter, Eden, 20.

The family lives in Beachwood.

BB

Dealing with

feelings

Planning a bar or bat mitzvah can bring about a host of emotions and stress, but maintaining perspective and accepting help can smooth the process

By Michael C. Butz and Ed Wittenberg

P

lanning and preparing for a bar or bat mitzvah can be a stressful experience for parents.

Just ask Susan Weiss, a member of Solon Chabad whose 12-year-old daughter, Maddie, became a bat mitzvah in September.

“Saturday night when I got to the venue, there was an extra table,” she says laughingly. “I was losing my mind. Are there people I need to sit? Who did I forget?”

Weiss – whose other daughter, Brooke, became a bat mitzvah in September 2012 – hadn’t actually forgotten anyone, but in that moment, she simply forgot a tiny detail: her caterer had arranged a month earlier for there to be an extra table as a precaution.

“I’m a details person, but there are a lot of details,” the Solon resident says. “I didn’t get a party planner, I did pretty much everything myself. … Every time you cross something off your list, there are 10 more decisions to make.

“Unless you’ve gone through it, you don’t understand the details,” Weiss says. “You’re waiting for people to send responses (RSVPs), there are 30 people who don’t answer, you need to give a count to the caterer, and you’re still calling all over town. You’re

planning menus and coordinating hotel arrangements and rides for out-of-towners.”

Or ask Helen Shafron, a member of Temple Emanu El in Orange whose 13-year-old son, Benjamin, became a bar mitzvah in August. It was Shafron’s third such occasion; her 17-year-old son, Zach, became a bar mitzvah in March 2010, and her 16-yearold son, Matthew, in August 2011.

“It really didn’t get easier,” says Shafron, of Solon. “The second one was easier because the first and second were so close together, so I was still in that mode, but there’s a lot involved.”

With Benjamin’s bar mitzvah, Shafron – like Weiss – said it was often the small details that were cause for concern.

“I think the stress really went for small things that didn’t go well. They weren’t terrible, just small things that were fixable,” she says. “For example, I got invitations online. They made a mistake with them, and they took longer than they said they’d take, but everything worked out fine.”

It can be easy to get caught up in the details, but stepping

18 Bar/Bat Mitzvah // Fall 2014

PHOTO | Colleen Fay Bowers While celebrating her bat mitzvah in September, Maddie Weiss is lifted up on a hora chair designed, painted and personalized by a family friend as a gift. back and maintaining perspective can help guard against feeling overwhelmed.

Helping hands Eric Berko, a psychologist and owner of Berko Psychological Associates in Solon, says when planBerko ning a bar or bat mitzvah, parents should stay focused on the reason for “this lovely life-cycle event.”

“Keep your eye on the prize,” he says. “Know your child well and make your decisions based on honoring your child and helping (him or her) celebrate the first step in becoming an adult.”

Try not to get too caught up in the small details and “all the long-standing family politics,” says Berko, a Solon resident.

“Take a deep breath and focus on the fact that this is your child’s day and how this decision is going to impact the experience for your child,” he says.

“Keep looking at the big picture.”

Berko, who also serves as director of behavioral science in the department of family medicine at MetroHealth Medical Center in Cleveland, says there’s a “curvilinear” relationship between

stress and performance.

“In sports, when we’re not stressed at all, we don’t perform very well,” he says. “If we think we’re playing a really easy team, we’re not really going to be on our game.”

Relating this concept to parents, they need to be “thoughtful, caring and loving and invest the time and energy” to make the bar or bat mitzvah a good experience for the child, Berko says.

“On the other hand, if we’re so stressed out and so overwhelmed, we also will perform terribly,” he says. “The child will see that and feel it. So the goal is to be in that sweet spot, in the zone, in the middle.

“There will be moments that are very stressful, so make sure you’re sharing your thoughts and feelings with your support system, talking to people who have been through this before.

It’s about knowing yourself and knowing when you need to take a little break, get your rest and then get back at it.”

Berko, whose family belongs to Temple Emanu El, says it’s important for parents to rely on friends, family or clergy for counsel.

“The rabbi, the cantor and the bar mitzvah preparation teacher have all been through

PHOTO | The Positive Negative Photography From left, Howard, Zach, Benjamin, Matthew and Helen Shafron at Benjamin’s bar mitzvah in August.

this many times, so they can offer support and perspective,” he says.

“Everyone loves to share their experience. Find those people you trust, whose opinion you value, and lean on them if you need to.”

Rabbi Steven Denker, spiritual leader of Temple Emanu El, says he also advises parents to “keep your eye on Denker the ball” in trying to handle the myriad of emotions involved with preparing for a bar or bat mitzvah.

“The goal of the bar or bat mitzvah, as practiced in North America, is to publicly acknowledge the child’s commitment to Judaism and Jewish learning,” he says. “The party is significant, but it should not be the focus of attention – at least not for the child.

“As far as inclusion, a family should choose to downsize – or down-cost – the party in favor of including as many people as possible. Synagogues and Jewish schools should encourage b’nai mitzvah families to be as inclusive of the child’s peers as possible.”

When fatigue and exhaustion – either physical or mental – take over, it’s time for parents to take a break, Denker says.

“Work with your rabbi, cantor, Jewish educator and tutor to make this judgment,” he says.

“They are your personal family

‘trainers’ for bat or bar mitzvah.

Knowing that the student and-or family is stressed out will help us do our job better, and it will help you.”

Denker agrees with Berko that parents need to understand they can rely on their rabbi, cantor and other synagogue professionals for counsel.

“If your congregational staff is not supporting you – without, of course, taking over – then it’s time to change shuls,” he says.

“Your congregation may also have ‘veteran parents’ who are willing to advise and coach.”

‘Just enjoy it’ Weiss says when the going got tough for her, she could turn to friends and family members – people not as close to the planning process as she was – to lend a fresh perspective on planning matters. She also turned to exercise to feel less stressed.

Now on the other side of the equation, Weiss says fellow parents enduring the planning process come to her for advice as a “veteran parent”: “Other moms who are going through it will ask you, ‘I’ve freaked out already, I’m past that – now what do I do?’”

Her advice? She shares what helped her, like staying organized.

“As soon as I got it on paper and off of my mind, it was so much less stressful. I had things I had to order, places I had to go and people I had to call. It was

less stressful because it wasn’t floating around in my mind,” she says, adding that another thing that helped was her willingness to accept help.

“People would say, ‘Can I help you?’ and I delegated. I did. I have great friends who baked cookies for the bags for out-of-towners, my sister-in-law helped with decorations, and my daughter (Brooke) and her teenage friend put together the slide show,” says Weiss, recalling an aspect that stood out to her about the process. “When it’s your child’s bat mitzvah, it’s like you’re holding your breath because it’s up to them. Are they going to learn their Hebrew? Are they going to learn their Torah portion? And then when it’s the reception, it’s up to you. Is the photographer going to be there? Is everyone going to show up?”

Shafron suggests keeping paperwork in order as a way to avoid stress.

“It helps to stay organized with all of your party planning contracts and receipts, especially since some of the booking may happen years in advance,” she says. “As parents, we’re pulled in several different directions at a time, so it’s hard to remember what exactly you booked three years ago.”

In the end, both Weiss and Shafron’s families enjoyed very meaningful days.

Weiss recalls how significant it was that the Holocaust History

Museum at Yad Vashem in Israel provided the name of a young victim with the same last name so that Maddie could do a Holocaust twinning. Shafron recalls that for her oldest son’s bar mitzvah four years ago, he wore the same suit his father, Howard, wore during his bar mitzvah because of how special that day still is to his dad.

“To honor his father, he wanted to wear that suit,” Shafron says. “We never asked him to do it, he just decided to do it.”

Ultimately, it’s memories like those that will define the process, Shafron and Weiss suggest.

Based on their experiences, they advise stressed parents to enjoy the moment.

“Enjoy the planning process.

Enjoy the special day and everything about it. Everything falls into place,” Shafron says. “Enjoy listening to your son or daughter practice their Torah portion.

Realize that everything does not have to be perfect. When the day arrives, take a deep breath and savor the moment.”

Weiss agrees, adding she hopes parents don’t “wish away” such a meaningful occasion just because of stressful planning.

“Don’t lose sight of the day, because you walk in that room and see a roomful of people you love, and that’s the silver lining. After the months of stress, that’s the payoff,” she says. “You can’t lose sight of the fact that it’s your child’s big day in their Jewish life.” BB

Fall 2014 // Bar/Bat Mitzvah 19

AJewish discovery, a homecoming Secular Community returns to offering b’nai mitzvah services By Carlo Wolff

L

ike so many of us, Rachel Bernstein gets junk mail. Like so many of us, she usually throws it away without even opening the envelope.

But one day – in early 2013, she thinks – Bernstein opened one of those suspect letters and got a message that rang true.

The message suggested that the Jewish Secular Community of Cleveland, which began in Cleveland Heights 47 years ago, would feel like home to Bernstein, who teaches Suzuki cello at The Music Settlement and also is executive director of Heights Arts.

Bernstein, who is married to Richard Waugh, a violist in the Cleveland Orchestra, had been seeking a place where she would feel comfortable familiarizing herself with Jewish customs and

PHOTO | Rachel Bernstein Lily Waugh, daughter of Rachel Bernstein, was one of two girls who became a bat mitzvah at the Jewish Secular Community of Cleveland’s first such service since 2001.

lore, a place where she would not feel obligated to be observant.

She wanted to share such a place with their daughter, Lily.

Her way into Jewishness was playing cello for High Holy Days services in Albuquerque, N.M., and her family celebrated the holidays but did not attend services.

So when JSC came calling, Bernstein was ready. She also told her friend Jessica Klein about that letter she had just happened to unseal.

“I mentioned to her about the letter and it struck the same chord with her as it did with me, so we went to an informational meeting at somebody’s home and it was sort of, like,” she pauses, “you know how people find religion? It was that sort of thing where I went and said OK, I have to do this.”

What made Bernstein think the JSC was the right fit? “Just the fact that it was dealing with the humanistic qualities of Judaism rather than focusing on the religion, so she (Lily) would be getting a lot of information about all the traditions rather than having to go to Hebrew school and temple, that kind of thing.

“I sort of consider myself culturally Jewish,” says the Cleveland Heights resident. “I had looked around to see about possibly joining a temple or synagogue, and I visited a few temples and synagogues and I just wasn’t sure if that was for me, especially

20 Bar/Bat Mitzvah // Fall 2014

since my husband wasn’t Jewish.

So this letter came in the mail and – Rifke will laugh when you talk about this – she was struck by the fact that I throw out most of my mail but I actually opened it.

I read it and I was intrigued and I thought this sounds just like what I’d be looking for for my daughter. And I myself was never bar mitzvahed.”

Her daughter was, however. A new tradition began in July, when Lily Waugh and a friend became the first JSC bat mitzvahs since 2001.

“Rifke,” meanwhile, is the nickname of Richmond Heights resident Roberta Feinstein, a retired teacher of special needs students who joined what would become the JSC in 1969, two years after five families from Cleveland Heights launched its predecessor, the Jewish Secular School.

She and most of her fellow JSC members “are secularists and they want a celebration of their Jewishness in a non-theistic way,” Feinstein says. “That, I think, is the best way to put it.”

With Eugene Bayer as its first principal, the Jewish Secular School met in rented space at Fairfax Elementary School, its first enrollment 26 students from 15 families, according to Feinstein.

Enrollment peaked at 105 in 1974, a year after the organization changed its name to Jewish Secular Community. It is one of 21 affiliates of the Congress of Secular Jewish Organizations in the United States and Canada.

“We had lots of bar and bat mitzvahs during the school years,” Feinstein says. “My son was in the first b’nai mitzvah class that the Jewish Secular School celebrated in 1973, and my second son had his bar mitzvah in 1976, but then I moved to Michigan. These b’nai mitzvahs continued. I came back every year to celebrate.”

By the time she moved back to Cleveland in 2002, however, the b’nai mitzvahs had stopped.

“People were not joining with young kids.” Why? “That’s a good

question,” she says. “I could be in the White House if I could answer that question.”

According to Feinstein, the return of the b’nai mitzvah stems from a question JSC founder Mickey Stern posed at a JSC meeting in a private home some two years ago. Why not reach out to intercultural families who might want their children to go through a bar or bat mitzvah program?

Now the b’nai mitzvahs are back. In July, Roberta Feinstein and Richard Waugh’s daughter Lily was bat mitzvahed along with Kayleigh Mooney, the daughter of Cleveland Heights residents Jessica Klein and Kevin Mooney, a non-Jew. The girls, who are seventhgraders at Roxboro Middle School, were bat mitzvahed after education in Jewish holidays and institutions courtesy of Danielle Copeland, a Cleveland Heights woman Feinstein calls a “wonderful teacher.”

“Each girl researched a Jewish hero – my daughter did Anne Frank, Kayleigh did Harvey Milk – and at the ceremony Dani officiated,” says Bernstein. “Each girl presented their project and each mom came up and we talked to our daughters about their accomplishments and I played the (Ernest) Bloch ‘Prayer (From Jewish Life No. 1).’

“Then we had a big party at the Settlement.”

“It was really fun, a really good experience,” says Lily. “It was just fun to learn about everything, and I liked that I did it with another person. It was just neat to have another person there.”

As for the party, “we wrote speeches with the help of my teacher, and there was a lot of good food and a lot of our friends came, and family. There was a lot of music and then there were games, too. I think it started around 5 or 6 and it lasted until about 9 or 10,” Lily says.

Was she tired? “Yeah.” Was it worth it? “Yeah.” BB

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Throwing a successful bar or bat mitzvah party requires good planning

By Michael C. Butz

L

ike the city of Cleveland seems to be, Northeast Ohio’s party planning industry may be on the verge of a surge.

So says Sherri Foxman, owner of Sherri Foxman’s Party411 Events in Warrensville Heights, citing the influx of hotels (especially in downtown Cleveland) and the arrival of the 2016 Republican National Convention as reasons to believe there not only will be an increase in demand for party-planning services but also for a wider variety of local options.

“Somebody recently asked me about celebrity impersonators for a party. We have some, but if you really want to get Marilyn Monroe or Frank Sinatra, you have to go out of town. I think that’s going to change. With all the hotels and everything else, there’s going to be more avail-

able for people to choose from,” she says. “It’s very exciting. I think there’s going to be a lot going on here, and I think it’s going to affect our industry. Whether it’s a bar mitzvah or corporate event, it’s going to up us a notch.”

While Greater Cleveland awaits that new wave of party options, the area is already well populated with talented and knowledgeable party planners – such as Foxman; Melissa Miller, owner of Momentum Events and Pink Gorilla Balloons in Bedford Heights; and Tariko Kendall, owner of Whimzey Events Design Studio in Warrensville Heights – ready and willing to guide families through planning their bar or bat mitzvah party.

TRENDING TOPICS Like those stretch-stirrup pants or that Members Only jacket tucked away in your closet that

22 Bar/Bat Mitzvah // Fall 2014

were so popular years ago, party trends come and go. What’s on the rise right now?

Miller says flip books – handsized books made on site using rapid-fire photos taken by a photographer, often including fun props – are making a comeback.

“Those were popular years ago, and now they’re popular again,” she says. “People are always looking for something different, so what I’ve been doing is trying to take the typical things you find but use them differently.”

For example, airbrushing names, dates or designs on something like a T-shirt has become fairly standard, but doing that on a cell phone case provides a unique twist, Miller says.

Kendall agrees that airbrushed items – trucker hats,

license plates, even socks – are a growing trend, as are “glow parties” that make use of a lot of neon decorations.

“It makes it more like a nightclub. It’s really cool,” she says. “I’ve been getting a lot of requests for that.”

Miller also noted a rise in social casting. Like fans might see at a Browns, Indians or Cavs game, partygoers can post something to social media using a hashtag unique to the bar or bat mitzvah party and see it appear on a video screen throughout the event.

“We know the kids will be on their phones, so we might as well turn it into something they can use for the events,” says Miller, noting the entertainment companies that facilitate social casting often monitor it to ensure nothing inappropriate appears on screen.

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PHOTO | Sherri Foxman’s Party411 Events First things first

PHOTO | Natural Light Studio / Whimzey Events Design Studio

PHOTO | Infocus Studios / Momentum Events

PHOTO | Sherri Foxman’s Party411 Events

PHOTO | New Image Photography / Momentum Events 24 Bar/Bat Mitzvah // Fall 2014

What are some of the most important things about party planning? Kendall suggests developing a timeline.

“First-time moms who are planning, they tend to think well ahead, but sometimes on their second or third time around, they’re more relaxed.

I think a timeline should be put in place, whether you’re a newbie or someone who’s done it before,” she says.

When’s the best time to start? It varies, of course, depending on factors like budget and theme – and one’s propensity for party planning.

“We do it when people are comfortable. We have people who try to do it all themselves but then walk in a week beforehand, we have some people who start six weeks out, and we have some people who don’t want to touch (planning) at all,” Foxman says.

Kendall and Miller both consider six months in advance a fair time to start planning.

“I’d say, once you’ve booked the main things, actually getting into the planning and development of your theme, six months is a good time to start – especially if your invitation is going to tie into your theme because you have to start working on that a little bit earlier,” says Miller,

adding that after a venue, DJ, photographer and planner are booked, she suggests determining a menu.

“The reason I do that is it’s your biggest expense,” she says. “I think it helps to get your biggest item priced out so you can plan out the rest of your budget. A lot of people think, ‘I have plenty of time, I’ll just plan the menu later,’ but it doesn’t help me help you if I don’t know what you have left for decorations.”

Setting that budget is critical, of course, as is determining a guest list.

“The number of people is so important, no matter what your budget is, because it dictates your venue,” Foxman says. “Any budget can be creative for anything, but you have to know what you want to spend and be realistic about it.”

Don’t forget With so many important details to attend to, it can be easy to overlook things. That’s where party planners can help.

Foxman counts leaving welcome baskets in out-of-town guests’ hotel rooms and taking care of any transportation needs early in the process as things families often overlook.

Kendall says it’s good to keep in mind planning a variety of activities for kids.

“You have to have things suited for everyone,” she says. “Not everyone is going to come out to the party and dance, so you have to have other things going on so they feel included and they’re not just sitting there.”

Miller suggests people don’t always account for how big their venue space is and how that might impact their decorative needs. She also says parents should consider deciding ahead of time how much the party’s honoree will help plan their day.

“It’s good to decide in advance how involved you want your child to be in the process,” she says. “I personally enjoy getting to know the kids a little bit because it’s a party for them, but that doesn’t mean they need to be at every meeting.” BB

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A lot of time and effort goes into planning a bar or bat mitzvah, and along the way, may questions are certain to arise. Thankfully for area families, Greater Cleveland is home to many professionals with the experience and know-how to help answer those questions and offer advice.

Compiled by Michael C. Butz, Kristen Mott and Ed Wittenberg

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ARNE KLEIN VICE PRESIDENT OF BLOOMS, THE FLORAL DESIGN AND EVENT DIVISION OF PLANTSCAPING BLOOMS BY PLANTSCAPING | CLEVELAND WHAT’S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO CONSIDER? I think there has to be a concise theme, whether it’s color or the scope of thematic ideas they’re thinking of: magazines, models, runways or something that we can then play off of. We need to come up with the ideas, but the more vision we have from the client, the more it helps us.

WHAT’S OFTEN OVERLOOKED? These days, I think it’s budget – still to this day, even with all of the information out there. People are looking for really interesting and unique arrangements, whether it’s assorted vessels or the scope and

style of an arrangement, and a lot of people don’t have a clue about what these things cost.

Basically, I’d talk about that. I tend to do most of my meetings face to face, so if people bring in photos of things, I can tell them right off the bat, “This is a very expensive thing” and steer them in a different direction – toward something that has the same feel but is maybe less expensive. Not everyone has a sky-is-the-limit budget.

and then prepare a detailed proposal. I guess what they want from me, the more information I have up front, the less running around there’s going to be. I try to help people as much as I possibly can.

WHAT OTHER QUESTIONS SHOULD BE ASKED OR TOPICS CONSIDERED?

WHEN SHOULD PEOPLE START PLANNING?

I think budget, theme and color are the biggest things. I’m going to walk them through everything

26 Bar/Bat Mitzvah // Fall 2014

WHAT TRENDS ARE YOU SEEING? For bat and bat mitzvahs, none.

Honestly, it’s all over the place.

Weddings are a whole different story.

I think it’s always nice to have your vendors in line, and if someone is looking for a very grand set-up, I think easily they can start plan-

ning a year out to give everyone time to do their due diligence for everything in their proposal.

If it’s just flowers, that can be much less. You don’t have to think a year out. For us, flowers are easy, but if we’re doing other things, it’s nice to have more time. If there’s building involved, like building sets, or we’re involved in lighting and things of that nature, we want to have more time to plan all of that. BB

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OWNER | BISTRO 185 | CLEVELAND WHAT’S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO CONSIDER? Budget, location and food theme. Many times people think having a party at home will be less expensive than having it at a facility, but what they don’t understand is the catering company has to bring everything that would be at the facility (silverware, staff, etc.) into that person’s house.

So, it ends up being equal to or sometimes maybe more than at a facility.

I think they have to have a realistic budget in mind. Some people think, “I want to have a cocktail hour for one-and-a-half hours and sit-down dinner and a big dessert,” and they think it’s going to be $50 per person when in reality it’s $200 per person. People have to do their homework before talking to a

caterer. They have to really understand what they can afford, or what they’re willing to afford or feel they want to spend on an event, and I think it keeps it all in perspective.

And what does your child want? On a personal level, I think it’s what your child would want to have and it’s maybe not this big party the parents might want to have. I don’t think a 13-year-old should be making budgetary decisions, but they should have input into what they’d really like and parents should guide the event.

group. Just because your son or daughter doesn’t eat a certain food, doesn’t mean that everyone else doesn’t eat it. People can get caught up with very specific things that they lose the big picture.

I think that from the catering perspective, you need to offer something vegetarian, or something neutral that most people will like, at almost any event right now. … You can’t let accommodating everyone’s food idiosyncrasies dominate your event, but you have to be reasonable and have balance.

WHAT’S OFTEN OVERLOOKED?

WHAT TRENDS ARE YOU SEEING?

I really try to impress on the parents that they’re dealing with a very diverse group of people.

You have adults and pre-teens and teenagers. You don’t want to forget the diversity of the

People are trying to keep it a little simpler and they’re staying more with the theme of what is a bar mitzvah. I think the focus should be more on what the meaning of the event is. I think

30 Bar/Bat Mitzvah // Fall 2014

we’ve gotten away from over abundance and the extravagance of the food just for it to be there. People are understanding that it’s not necessary and instead are concentrating on doing a few things really well.

I think the trend now is that people really want food that’s local, organic and really fresh. I think that trend is going to be here for a long time.

WHEN SHOULD PEOPLE START PLANNING? Between nine months and a year out. The year before people should just start thinking about the venue, the caterer and the overall idea. Within nine months you should book somebody and have an idea of the menu and cost factors and theme. BB

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Fall 2014 // Bar/Bat Mitzvah 31

ENTERTAINMENT

PHOTO | Zone Entertainment

JEFF DICK

PRESIDENT | ZONE ENTERTAINMENT | BEDFORD WHAT’S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO CONSIDER? Look for a company that specializes in bar and bat mitzvah entertainment. Performing at a bar or bat mitzvah is a completely different kind of event than a wedding or corporate event.

Being able to go through and provide quality entertainment for 12- and 13-year-olds for four hours is a specialized skill.

WHAT’S OFTEN OVERLOOKED? Always make sure you have the correct number of dancers or party motivators. We recommend one dancer per 20 children in attendance. That is extremely important. Not only do the dancers perform but they’re also the motivators to get the kids involved, they play games with them during cocktail

hour, and then dance with them and encourage that interaction. That’s one thing I’m always talking about in my meetings with clients. With that, you will create your excitement and highenergy party.

WHAT ELSE SHOULD PARENTS CONSIDER? I like when people will ask me what makes us different than other entertainment companies.

We certainly have things that make us different and serve as reasons why people choose us.

People who are planning a bar or bat mitzvah have gone to other parties. I always ask them to

tell me what they have liked from other parties that they’ve been to and things they haven’t liked.

That’s something for people to think about as they go to other parties. That gives me their wish list when they walk into my door and I can streamline the process for there.

WHAT TRENDS ARE YOU SEEING? Dance parties are popular – they always have been and always will be. Different, unique photo favor systems are also becoming popular. It seems like almost every one of my parties is using some sort of photo favors.

Always make sure you have the correct number of dancers or party motivators. We recommend one dancer per 20 children in attendance.

32 Bar/Bat Mitzvah // Fall 2014

WHEN SHOULD PEOPLE START PLANNING? As soon as you know the date, that is what I tell people all the time. I have parties right now booked two years out. Usually when people get their date, they go through and book a venue or entertainment company immediately. That is extremely important. But they don’t need to go through and choose all their details right away. That’s a common misconception. The biggest thing you need to do is make the decision on the company you’re going with, and then a year out you can set another meeting and go through all the details. We do final planning about a month out. We bring in the child and find out the music, games, different contests they want to have and plan out the timeline. BB

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PHOTOGRAPHY

PHOTO | David Tavens / Natural Light Studio

DAVID TAVENS

PHOTOGRAPHER AND OWNER | NATURAL LIGHT STUDIO | BEACHWOOD WHAT’S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO CONSIDER? Being a photographer is more than just being able to take pictures. Bar and bat mitzvahs both have a religious component and a social-event component. Being Jewish is definitely an advantage when dealing with the different temples, synagogues and shuls.

My clients want to know that my relationship with the clergy and ritual directors at their place of worship is respectful and cordial.

WHAT’S OFTEN OVERLOOKED? How I prepare for an event is a key part of the conversation that I have with any potential client. In addition to the big-picture items discussed when we first meet, I do require a meeting about seven to 10 days prior to the event. At that meeting, I’m the one asking

all of the questions and learning about the finer details of the event. No matter how subtle, if my client has put time into it, it’s worth learning about and making sure there are photographs to remember it.

WHAT ELSE SHOULD PARENTS CONSIDER? The technical questions that my clients have can range from the type of equipment I use to how their photographs are presented to them. They want to know that they’ll be receiving a collection of actual prints in addition to an on-

line gallery to share with friends and family. They want to know that any orders for photographs are reasonably priced and can be ordered at any time after their child’s event. Perhaps the most important thing my clients want to know is that they can wake up on the morning of their child’s event and not have anything to worry about with regard to the photographer they hired.

about posed photographs and more about photographs of people interacting with each other. My clients expect a certain amount of posed photos but they want to know that I’m a good candid photographer as well. Being able to blend in when necessary is something all of my clients want.

WHAT TRENDS ARE YOU SEEING?

Because temples give out the dates for bar and bat mitzvahs three years in advance, I get calls from parents at that time wanting quite a bit of general information as they make some of the larger decisions for their child’s day. As the actual day of the event gets closer and the details get worked out, the information required is more specific. BB

The photography that I provide at parties and receptions is less

Perhaps the most important thing my clients want to know is that they can wake up on the morning of their child’s event and not have anything to worry about with regard to the photographer they hired.

34 Bar/Bat Mitzvah // Fall 2014

WHEN SHOULD PEOPLE START PLANNING?

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Fall 2014 // Bar/Bat Mitzvah 35

STATIONERY

PHOTO | Luscious Verde

CHRISANNA LAZAR

COOWNER | LUSCIOUS VERDE | BEACHWOOD WHAT’S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO CONSIDER? People marginalize the importance of the invitation. It sets the entire tone for the event. The taste, the style, the importance and what kind of event this is going to be are all indicated by the invitation. If you’re having a very informal reception, you might want to send a postcard or an Evite. If this is a big event and you’re spending a lot for time and money, you want to reflect the importance of the event appropriately with the invitation.

WHAT’S OFTEN OVERLOOKED? There are so many steps with sending an invitation. I would recommend working with Luscious Verde or with another experienced professional. If you

start out with a really experienced professional guiding you, you’re less apt to have something fall through the cracks.

People want to save money by going online but you’re not going to save yourself headaches or know what to do when things go wrong. Always order extra. I call that “card insurance.”

If you think you need 140 invitations, order 150. You also need to leave yourself enough time for things like envelope stuffing, envelope printing and ordering stamps.

WHAT ELSE SHOULD PARENTS CONSIDER? Recently, we’ve been using the invitation as a branding opportunity. We’re taking elements that the child likes such as colors, hobbies, interests and styles and we’re incorporating those into logos. Then that logo

36 Bar/Bat Mitzvah // Fall 2014

follows throughout the entire event. Guests will then see the same patterns and logos reproduced in table cards, programs, menus, gift tags and thank you notes. It makes for a much more cohesive event. We also generally recommend that about 5 percent of the total budget should go to the invitation.

WHAT TRENDS ARE YOU SEEING? For boys, traditional is always good, like white and blue, gray and red, or sports colors, Right now I’m also seeing earth tones with pops of fluorescent color.

That’s wildly hot. Boys are loving neon tennis shoes, and I think a lot of our invitations are reflecting that kind of style. Chevron patterns have been very popular as well, and glitter and glitter paper for girls have completely exploded. Girls are loving lus-

cious shimmer papers, glitter papers and iridescent papers.

WHEN SHOULD PEOPLE START PLANNING? Six months is certainly not too early. Parents could even start a year ahead of time doing things like pick colors, patterns and a theme. That way they’ll have time to plan the rest of the event. You need at least four to six months to do a really good job of customizing and ordering invitations. If you really want to use a lot of branded imagery and design, then you might want to start even earlier. BB

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GIRLS’ CLOTHING MICHELE GREENE

PERSONAL SHOPPER | DILLARD’S AT BEACHWOOD PLACE | BEACHWOOD WHAT’S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO CONSIDER? I’d say their comfort level. Some people say you should wear a suit or dress, but every body type is different. On that day, they should not be worrying about what they wear at all. The most important thing should be how they feel – and they should feel confident, so something that makes them feel like they look good but that’s also comfortable. Some people are more comfortable in jackets, some are more comfortable in dresses, and others are perhaps more comfortable in something loose-fitting.

Some kids may only wear warm-ups or a uniform to school, so they have to think outside of the box a bit. And they have these

photo albums that will be looked at for years to come, so they want to look their best but also stay true to themselves. Someone really conservative, you won’t put them in something super-trendy.

What they wear still should fit their personality.

As far as shoes, anything goes, from flats to two-inch heels to six-inch heels, depending on the person. Keep in mind your comfort level; you need to walk up the steps on the bimah.

WHAT’S OFTEN OVERLOOKED? One thing is to shop well in advance so you’re not pressured and so you don’t have to settle, you’ll find something that looks good on you. That way, it’s done and they can focus on their speech

and learning their parts.

And let’s not forget about the outfit for the party. Whether it’s a cocktail attire or a sports party, there’ll still be pictures for years to come, and you still want to look a little more dressed than the guests – you’re the hostess.

WHAT OTHER TOPICS SHOULD BE CONSIDERED? A lot of these kids who are computer-savvy love to shop online, and that’s great to get ideas, but I think you still have to see it, touch it, feel it and try it on. On the Internet, just because it looks good on a model doesn’t mean it’ll look good on another person. That might work for certain things, but for something like this, I think you need to go in a store and try on certain looks.

WHAT TRENDS ARE YOU SEEING? Years ago it was strictly suits, but now dresses are really big.

“Mixed media” is also really big. For example, leather or Pleather trim on different fabrics.

Costume jewelry is really big right now. From costume jewelry to Tiffany’s, anything goes depending on the individual style.

WHEN SHOULD PEOPLE START SHOPPING? Whatever season it’s in, at the beginning of that season. And you can’t do it too far in advance for a kid because these 13-years-olds get growth spurts. But if it’s in the spring, start in March, or if it’s in the fall, start in August. If you shop at the beginning of the season, you get the best selection. BB

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STAY CALM WHILE PLANNING YOUR BAR MITZVAH

– HIRE AN EVENT PLANNER! With all that’s involved, just figuring out where to start can often be overwhelming. Hiring an event planner can help take the stress out of the process.

Momentum Events specializes in planning and executing bar/bat mitzvahs. While they love to plan events from start to finish, they understand some people may only need help with some aspects of the event.

Melissa Miller, owner of Momentum Events and Pink Gorilla Balloons, said, “We want to make the event planning process fun and take the stress away from our clients. Every situation is different. Some people want us involved from the beginning

to help with every detail, meet with and book vendors and design and decorate the event space. Others may only need our help with making centerpieces and seating cards. Whatever the case, we are happy to help.”

Coming from a background in advertising, Miller takes a unique approach to planning events. Theme development is one of Momentum’s specialties. Once a client has decided on a theme, they like to design a logo and then build everything else around it – similar to a branding campaign.

They custom design and print the invitations, seating cards, centerpieces, signage and other decor so it

38 Bar/Bat Mitzvah // Fall 2014

Photo credit: Jessica Vidmar

flows together perfectly and transforms the room. They rent furniture, hire entertainment, design lighting and coordinate the menu and agenda. This includes designing the floor plan and making sure every vendor involved has a copy of it so everything runs smoothly the day of the event.

“We believe that communication with our clients and all of the vendors is the key to a successful event, but more importantly, we want our clients to have fun and feel that we have helped take away the stress of planning

an event,” Miller said.

Nothing says fun and helps make a room look better than balloons! In 2013, Miller acquired Pink Gorilla Balloons, a full-service balloon delivery and decorating business, and moved the retail store next door to Momentum in Bedford Heights, at the intersection of Miles and Green roads.

If you are interested in learning more about Momentum, visit momentumcleveland.com or call 216-292-0100 and schedule a free consultation.

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SYNAGOGUE RECEPTIONS

PHOTO | Temple Israel Ner Tamid

RABBI MATTHEW EISENBERG

RABBI | TEMPLE ISRAEL NER TAMID | MAYFIELD HEIGHTS

BRETT SHANKMAN

EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR | SUBURBAN TEMPLEKOL AMI | BEACHWOOD WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS OR ADVANTAGES? BS: The primary advantages are the seamlessness of the event from the ceremony to the reception, whether the reception is immediately following or that evening, and the fact that the congregation provides a comfortable and familiar environment. Also, the rental cost is possibly better at the home congregation than at a private facility.

ME: The temple is a multifunctional Jewish institution.

There are three functions of a synagogue. No. 1 is beit knesset, which means house of assembly; No. 2 is beit midrash, house of study; and No. 3 is beit tefilah, house of prayer. When a student becomes a bar mitzvah,

we are focusing on all three. The reception focuses on the social component. As rabbis, we try to bring all three of those together as often as possible. In addition, it may be more convenient for the family; however, there are things at a party that are not appropriate for a synagogue.

So many families choose to have the party outside of the synagogue.

WHAT’S OFTEN OVERLOOKED? ME: It has been said as rabbis that we try to get families to focus less on the bar and more on the mitzvah – in other words, less on the beverages and more on the good deeds. There are times when the mitzvah component of this life-cycle

40 Bar/Bat Mitzvah // Fall 2014

event seems to receive short shrift. As rabbis, we work to get the families to look more deeply into the mitzvot.

WHEN SHOULD FAMILIES START PLANNING? BS: Six months to a year ahead, depending on the vendors and the size and scale of your event.

ME: This depends upon the size of the congregation. At Temple Israel Ner Tamid, one year is plenty of time. At larger congregations, it is not unusual for planning to begin two to three years in advance.

WHAT TRENDS ARE YOU SEEING? BS: We’re noticing they are tailored to the young person, to their passions and their interests.

For example, a sports theme or animals or a particular charitable interest.

ME: Over the course of many years, I have seen families overextend themselves financially and emotionally. I encourage families to scale back the celebration and realize the child is 12 or 13. It is not a wedding, and it is not a competition with your Jewish neighbors. I encourage students and families to give a significant portion to tsedakah in honor of this life-cycle event.

Many of my colleagues are encouraging families similarly. BB

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BAR LOCATION, BAT LOCATION For a bar or bat mitzvah, a location’s look can make the occasion extra-memorable

By Carlo Wolff

W

hat a place looks like, the diversity of accommodations both inside and outside, and how easy it is to navigate are critical considerations for families planning bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah, say representatives of four very different types of venues.

What also matters is advance planning, making sure you’ve covered all your bases, being clear about your goals, and choosing the style of location – and event – you’d like to emphasize.

These places span the eclectic, chic Music Box Supper Club, the ultramodern Museum of Contemporary Art Cleveland, the luxuriously appointed Executive Caterers at Landerhaven in Mayfield Heights, and the classic, sophisticated Bertram Inn & Conference Center in Aurora.

Let’s start with the newest kid on the block, the Music Box, on the West Bank of Cleveland’s Flats. Open only since August, it hasn’t featured a bar or bat mitzvah yet but hopes to soon, according to Mike Miller, who owns Music Box with his wife Colleen.

It’s definitely ready for that kind of business, Miller says, adding, “we’ve actually had four or five tours, and we’ve got a lot of interest out of that community.”

The two-story, two-stage structure in the Nautica

42 Bar/Bat Mitzvah // Fall 2014

PHOTO | Music Box Supper Club

complex has “killer views” of the Cleveland skyline, according to Miller. For proof, stand on the second-floor deck and watch Cleveland change colors as day defaults to dusk.

The Music Box offers spaces of different sizes, from Green Rooms for pre-ceremony preparation to a second-story Concert Hall with a full stage for bands and DJs entertaining large crowds for private parties.

“We’re brand-new, everything is fresh and with spectacular views, and we’re going to keep it looking just gorgeous for people,” Miller says, noting the site also has abundant parking. Plan a bar or bat mitzvah way ahead, “ideally about a year,” he adds.

“I think you need to make sure that the venue is very creative and willing to work with you … and the venue should bring some ideas to the table.”

Bringing ideas to the table is also part of the package at the next-newest kid on the block: the Museum of Contemporary Art Cleveland, the striking, cube-like structure anchoring University Circle at Euclid Avenue and Mayfield Road.

There, the entire first floor can be booked for a bar or bat mitzvah, and MOCA already books six to eight a year, according to Julie Anderson, deputy director of business operations.

MOCA’s seasonal exhibitions in the main gallery on the fourth floor and the Toby Devan Lewis Gallery on the second floor are open to guests during special events, Anderson says.

Marigold Catering, the museum’s partner, offers cuisine and event management. “We recommend you book your event at least nine to 12 months in advance, especially during the busy seasons,” Anderson says.

“We find that kids today are much more sophisticated than even five years ago,” she says.

“They are looking for unique, cool places for their mitzvah. MOCA’s interior space is easily transformed to meet any design or theme.”

At Executive Caterers, customization is key, suggests Christine Krause, director of marketing and development.

The sprawling Mayfield Heights complex “is extremely flexible in that each room has its own adjoining tented patio, with the Gardens at Landerhaven as part of each patio,” she says.

“The flexibility of space allows any bar or bat mitzvah to be custom-tailored.”

Executive Caterers also offers in-house design and catering teams to help develop themed events, Krause says. Such “milestone events” can take a “few years” to plan, she says.

Accessibility is critical – Landerhaven offers complimentary valet parking at its 800-plus parking spaces – and in-house design and décor team can tailor lighting, ceiling treatments and draped fabric to make customers’ bar or mitzvah dreams come true, Krause says.

Up lighting, lighting accents, enhancing a theme with color, signature drinks, flaming doughnut stations and sliders are particularly trendy.

What makes The Bertram Inn & Conference Center unique is a variety of banquet spaces that can accommodate events of various sizes, says Lauren Dicesare, sales and catering manager. The key to a successful bar or bat mitzvah, she says, is balancing requirements for entertainment and appetite.

Dicesare advises people to consider “the size of their event versus their banquet space to make sure that there is a large dance floor and that the cuisine is fabulous.”

Planners frequently overlook the aftermath of the event: “Guests need to take into consideration everything that you desire in a venue, such as if there are sleeping rooms attached for out-of-town guests and upgraded linens,” Dicesare says, adding families should “start booking their venues as soon as the rabbi gives them a date to ensure the location and date that they desire.” BB

PHOTO | Bertram Inn & Conference Center

PHOTO | Amanda Lu / Executive Caterers at Landerhaven

PHOTO | MOCA Cleveland Fall 2014 // Bar/Bat Mitzvah 43

ADVENTUROUS CELEBRATIONS Sky Zone and Zip City offer unique opportunities for b’nai mitzvah parties

By Michael C. Butz

K

ids are known for their active imaginations and seemingly boundless energy.

Where better to let them exercise both while celebrating their transition to adulthood than two Northeast Ohio activitiesbased and adventure-themed entertainment centers: Zip City in Streetsboro and Sky Zone in Westlake, and by early November, in Highland Heights.

Sky Zone marketing director Valerie Hurst says the international chain’s everyday emphasis on fun and fitness translates well to the type of atmosphere parents might want for their child’s celebration.

“We’re catering to families getting together and kids getting out to some place safe for them to go,” she says. “It’s all about fun and fitness. Instead of kids hanging out at the mall, watching TV or playing video games from the couch, Sky Zone is someplace for them to be active.”

Sky Zone’s Foam Zone, SkySlam basketball hoops and Ultimate Dodgeball provide a wide variety of options for entertaining enjoyment, and it’s also home to an arcade that’s absent of violent video games, says Hurst, adding that the Westlake location can “jump” about 130 people an hour. The Highland Heights location is expected to operate in a similar capacity and accommodate a similar number of people, she adds.

Sky Zone features party rooms large and small to accommodate various sizes of crowds as well as complete facility rentals.

It features a full concessions area and also works with Issi’s Place Continued on Page 46

PHOTO | Zip City

44 Bar/Bat Mitzvah // Fall 2014

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Contact 216.658.6934 or events@MOCAcleveland.org to schedule a tour or start planning your event.

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Photography by Robert Muller, Tess Smith, and Christen Whitehouse.

Life is filled with milestones. Birthdays, 11400 Euclid Synagogue’s Avenue, Cleveland Ohio 44106- Rabbi Skoff, Rabbi Marcus, clergy bar and bat mitzvahs, weddings, Cantor Pisman and Gadi Galili. anniversaries, retirements – each one celebrates where you are now.

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Fall 2014 // Bar/Bat Mitzvah 45

PHOTO | Sky Zone Kids gather at a recent bar mitzvah party held at Sky Zone in Westlake.

Continued from Page 44 to provide kosher options, Hurst says.

“We’ve had bar mitzvahs where they’ve just used our Sky Box and we’ve had facility rentals,” she says of the Westlake location. “It really appeals to that age group. It’s a large facility (almost 25,000 square feet), and there are places where if you bring grandparents or other adults, they can watch the kids.”

Sky Zone is also technologically sound, Hurst says.

“We have a music/sound system, so they don’t need to bring in a DJ if they don’t want,” she says, adding that there’s a large projection TV that can be used for various needs as well as Wi-Fi. Likewise, Zip City, offers 20,000 square feet of unique opportunities for adventurous amusement, owner Scott J. Weiner says.

“We have the only indoor zip line in the world, as far as I know,” he says. “Not only that, we

have a rock wall opening in (October), and we have an indoor trampoline park. We’re the only park with these three venues under one roof.”

The rock wall will be 50 feet wide and 32 feet high and feature eight rappelling stations. Each of Zip City’s five zip lines spans about 220 feet, stands three stories tall and accommodates about 250 riders per hour at speeds up to 20 mph. Its trampoline park spans 10,000 square feet that include open jump courts, basketball courts, a dodgeball court and a foam pit.

A new feature Zip City will soon add to its already extensive video game arcade is a dance machine, which Weiner says will debut around the holidays. Zip City also will soon begin offering cell phone chargers so customers can stay connected while at the facility, and by the time the holidays roll around, it will open a new

46 Bar/Bat Mitzvah // Fall 2014

location in the Cincinnati area.

Already an attraction at the Northeast Ohio location is a mezzanine level that features table service, comfortable seating and five flat-screen TVs. “The idea behind that is if there’s a game on and someone wanted to watch the game, they’d be able to go to Zip City, and while others participate, sit on a comfortable couch and watch the game,” Weiner says.

Zip City also is wired with a video and projection capabilities and features a custom-designed sound system fit for playing a wide variety of pre-recorded music or hosting a DJ. Zip City has recently experienced an influx of bar and bat mitzvah parties, including one in which Weiner says the child’s mother was so pleased she intends to make a return visit.

“It went so well, she’s doing her next sibling’s party there as well,” he says. “She wrote a really nice note to us afterward.” BB

“We’re catering to families getting together and kids getting out to some place safe for them to go.”

Valerie Hurst Marketing director Sky Zone

Exclusive Invites Plus Amy.Finkenthal@gmail.com

216.470.1995

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Meet Anna

This year, she celebrated her Bat Mitzvah and instead of collecting presents, she suggested donations. Anna created a donor advised fund at the Jewish Federation of Cleveland. She asked her guests to join her in helping make the world a better place by contributing to her fund. Anna is making grant recommendations from the fund to causes that impact and improve lives. If Anna can do it, so can you!

For more information on: Creating a fund, contact Carol Wolf at 216-593-2805 or cwolf@jcfcleve.org.

Volunteer opportunities, contact Susan Hyman at 216-593-2887 or shyman@jcfcleve.org.

www.jewishcleveland.org Jewish Federation OF CLEVELAND

Fall 2014 // Bar/Bat Mitzvah 47

Distinctive gifts

By Kristen Mott

More personal b’nai mitzvah presents can leave lasting impressions

W

ith so many options available, it can be difficult for relatives and friends to decide on a gift to buy for a bar or bat mitzvah.

PHOTO | Mimi Becker Unique artwork, like these pieces from Mimi Becker, can also be unique gifts.

Rita Sachs, co-owner of Mulholland and Sachs in Woodmere, recommends selecting a gift that will last throughout the years.

“We don’t encourage people to spend a fortune, we encourage them to be thoughtful,” she explains. “It’s all about the intent. A bar or bat mitzvah is such an important event. I think the individual should be able to look back when they’re older and remember when they got the present or even take the gift with them to college.”

Sachs says one of the most popular gifts for a bat mitzvah that Mulholland and Sachs sells is a lacquered jewelry box. The boxes, which come in a variety of fun, bright colors, can be

etched overnight with a monogram, initial or first name.

Another popular item the store carries is a sterling silver necklace with an individual letter.

“It’s small and very appropriate for a 13-year old girl,” Sachs says. “For many of them it’s the first important piece of jewelry a friend or family member will give them.”

As for boys, Mulholland and Sachs sells simple silver picture frames that can be engraved with a name or initials and the date of the bar mitzvah.

Mimi Becker, artist and CEO of Mimismuses.com, says giving the gift of art at an early age can make a difference for a lifetime.

“An introduction into the art world is always a unique gift.

Not that many people know or understand art unless they’re introduced to it, and the earlier you’re introduced, the richer your life becomes,” she says. “It opens a whole new world to children.”

Though people have commissioned doodles – which can easily be personalized with a name or date significant to an individual – and other works from Becker for special occasions like bar or bat mitzvahs, she said mostly

PHOTO | MULHOLLAND AND SACHS Personalized lacquered jewelry boxes.

48 Bar/Bat Mitzvah // Fall 2014

people make a purchase when they view and experience art in person.

“People usually buy art when they see it,” she says, referring to art – including her own – displayed at shows and galleries. “People respond to art when it speaks to them. My work is vibrant, colorful and accessible, and that’s what people respond to.”

Some people regard travel to be a gift in and of itself, and in the case of some bar or bat mitzvahs, some parents forego a traditional reception and decide to book a family trip instead.

Arlene Goldberg, owner and president of Action Travel in Solon, says many families choose to book all-inclusive trips for immediate family members. Popular destinations include Israel, Port Saint Lucie, Fla., the Caribbean and Mexico.

Many families also opt to book a family cruise to places such as Florida, the Mediterranean and Alaska.

If a family decides to gift a trip, Goldberg recommends booking sooner rather than later.

“The longer in advance that you buy and put a deposit down on your package, the better the rate will be,” she says.

“As the airplane fills up and the resort fills up, or the cruise ship fills up, the rates will go up. So lock them in right away because the deposits are usually very low.” BB

ARIEL INTERNATIONAL CENTER SKYLINE LAKE ROOM The perfect spot for your Bar/Bat Mitzvah Amazing views of Cleveland Skyline and Lake Erie.

Recently renovated 100 year old rustic historic red brick building with large windows, elegant chandeliers, and high wood ceiling for a memorable wedding, corporate event or cultural function, seats up to 350 people.

1163 E 40th Street, Cleveland 44114 visit www.arielinternationalcenter.com Radhika Reddy 216-344-9441 rr@arielventures.com

Fall 2014 // Bar/Bat Mitzvah 49

Money bank

in the

Financial b’nai mitzvah gifts can teach valuable lessons

By Kristen Mott

A

mong the many gifts received during a bar or bat mitzvah, cash is typically one of the most popular options. Parents of children who receive large sums of money during a bar or bat mitzvah can use this opportunity to teach their children the value of saving money.

“When children come in to our branch and they have a passbook or register that shows how their money is growing, to me it’s a great story of how you can learn about the value of money and it teaches them the meaning of saving,” says Kevin Sulecki, second vice president and branch manager of the Cedar Center branch of Ohio Savings Bank in South Euclid.

Sulecki encourages parents to open a savings account for their child. Ohio Savings Bank offers an easy-to-use kids account with no monthly service fees that requires just a $1 deposit to open.

The bank also offers a unique Gift of Israel account in partnership with the Jewish Education Center of Cleveland. The account is designed as a savings program for children to use to travel abroad to Israel or another country before the age of 26. Children and parents are able to deposit money into the account and the JECC matches a certain portion of what the account accumulates that year.

Lisa King, vice president of marketing for Dollar Bank, says

savings accounts help teach teens the discipline of working toward a goal.

“It helps them manage money for future goals or emergency needs and shows them how making regular deposits (even small ones) adds up over time,” she says, adding that a standard savings account would work well for teens interested in tracking their balances online or with a mobile banking app.

“Using a free mobile remote deposit service, they can also deposit a check by simply taking a photo of the front and back of the check and follow simple instructions to have it immediately deposited into their account,” she says. “No need to go to the bank!”

Instead of giving money, many individuals will gift an Israel Bond for a bar or bat mitzvah. Thomas Lockshin, executive director of Israel Bonds in Ohio and Kentucky, says Israel Bonds offers two popular options for b’nai mitzvahs: the eMitzvah bond, which starts at $36, and the Mazel Tov bond, which starts at $100. Both are five-

50 Bar/Bat Mitzvah // Fall 2014

King

Lockshin

year savings bonds that accumulate interest.

Lockshin believes giving someone an Israel Bond is a meaningful investment.

“When you give someone the gift of an Israel Bond, there are multiple benefits,” he says.

“You’re connecting that child and their family to Israel, the child is getting a valuable gift, and the bond helps every aspect of Israel’s economy.”

Investing carries a higher risk than saving due to the uncertainty of the marketplace. However, if a parent is interested in investing a portion of their child’s bar or bat mitzvah money, Sulecki recommends looking into a 529 plan, which is designed to help a child save money for a college education. The money is placed into mutual funds or other low-risk investments that can gain a profit over time.

Sulecki says when children become a bar or bat mitzvah, they are old enough to start thinking about their future and what they can use their money for down the road.

Sulecki “We kind of take the value of money for granted,” he says. “Children start to learn what money can do for them, the benefits of saving and how to handle money responsibly.”

King says that when considering investment options, teens should consider how long they can invest, what their goals are and how they feel about risking their money.

“Generally speaking, most experts agree you should keep some money in a savings account before moving excess funds to other investment products that may provide a higher opportunity for growth but also have the risk of losing your money (something that wouldn’t happen with a bank savings account),” she says. “If you are worried about risk, keep in mind that you can invest in a bank CD (certificate of deposit).

CDs typically come with higher interest rates than liquid savings accounts because you forgo access to your funds for a set period of time. Like savings accounts, CDs are FDIC-insured.” BB

Klein Photography 216-973-0615

davidkleinphotographer.com

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Fall 2014 // Bar/Bat Mitzvah 51

Bar/Bat Mitzvah of_________________________________________ Date________________________________________________________ Caterer _____________________________________________________ Venue Location ______________________________________________ Party Planner/Decorator ______________________________________

_________

2-3 years before Contact synagogue to set date

_________

_________

1 year before Begin formal bar/bat mitzvah lessons Discuss community or mitzvah project Determine budget If the ceremony will be in Israel, find travel agent who can arrange location and rabbi Find vendors: videographer/ photographer, party planner, caterers, DJ, band, florist, venues Contact hotels and decide where to book blocks of rooms Create list of out-of-towners to be invited Send save-the-date reminders

_________

_________ _________

_________

_________

_________

_________

_________

_________

_________

_________

_________

10 months before Have bar/bat mitzvah child meet party planner, if using one, to give input on decorations 8 months before Create guest list with complete addresses 7 months before Begin to look at invitations Decide on wording for invitations Decide arrangements to transport kids to and from party

_________ _________ _________ _________ _________

DJ/Band/Entertainment _______________________________________ Photographer ________________________________________________ Videographer ________________________________________________ Hotel Block __________________________________________________

6 months before Order invitations, thank-you notes Create maps, directions sheets Pick calligraphy style for envelopes Order yarmulkes Find child’s tallit Begin to plan menu

_________

_________

4 months before Weigh invitation at post office Choose and purchase postage stamps

3 months before _________ Take invitations to calligrapher,

print mailing labels

_________ Discuss valet

_________ Decide on hotel room gift bags for out‑of‑town guests

_________ Select clothing for family members

_________ Finalize menu

_________ Decide on centerpieces and sign-in board

_________

_________

_________

2 months before Mail out-of-town invitations Make hair appointments for family for the week before the event

_________

_________

_________

_________

_________

3 weeks before Work with caterer on floor plan and plan agenda for the event

_________

2 Tuesdays before Order any necessary kosher dinners

_________

_________

2 Wednesdays before Assign tables Personalize gift bags, if desired

_________

Weekend before Finalize guest count/seating as best you can

_________

Monday before Finalize seating cards

_________

Day before Deliver gift bags to hotels

6 weeks before Mail in-town invitations To download a printable, full-page version of this planner, visit cjn.org/bbplanner.

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TO SAVE A LIFE. Members of youth groups and children preparing for bar and bat mitzvah celebrations can save lives through the Red Bag of Courage Mitzvah Project, helping raise the funds needed to stock an Israeli paramedic bag with bandages, oxygen masks, syringes, equipment, and medicine.

Funds can be raised through runs, walk-a-thons, bake sales, or any variety of ways. And American Friends of Magen David Adom, Israel’s emergency medical response agency, will be there to guide you. Participants who raise a minimum of $1,000 will receive their own monogrammed red bag, which can be used for school, gym, or as a memento of their good deed. Do a mitzvah. And help save a life.

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52 Bar/Bat Mitzvah // Fall 2014

_________

4 weeks before Reconfirm with service providers Put together seating plan Have child practice speech out loud Set up rehearsal time with synagogue Put together gift baskets for out‑of‑town guests

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Fall 2014 // Bar/Bat Mitzvah 53

E

Your Budget Planner

Keep this handy reference chart with you. Fill in the blanks to see what each area of your simchah costs.

Category

Name

Phone

Budget Actual Deposit

Venue rental No. 1

____________________________ _____-_____-________ $________ $________ $________

Venue rental No. 2

____________________________ _____-_____-________ $________ $________ $________

Caterer (meal No. 1)

____________________________ _____-_____-________ $________ $________ $________

Adult meals

____________________________ _____-_____-________ $________ $________ $________

Children’s meals

____________________________ _____-_____-________ $________ $________ $________

Bar

____________________________ _____-_____-________ $________ $________ $________

Caterer (meal No. 2)

____________________________ _____-_____-________ $________ $________ $________

Adult meals

____________________________ _____-_____-________ $________ $________ $________

Children’s meals

____________________________ _____-_____-________ $________ $________ $________

Bar

____________________________ _____-_____-________ $________ $________ $________

Caterer (meal No. 3)

____________________________ _____-_____-________ $________ $________ $________

Adult meals

____________________________ _____-_____-________ $________ $________ $________

Children’s meals

____________________________ _____-_____-________ $________ $________ $________

Bar

____________________________ _____-_____-________ $________ $________ $________

DJ/Band/Entertainment

____________________________ _____-_____-________ $________ $________ $________

Centerpieces

____________________________ _____-_____-________ $________ $________ $________

Florist

____________________________ _____-_____-________ $________ $________ $________

Photographer

____________________________ _____-_____-________ $________ $________ $________

Videographer

____________________________ _____-_____-________ $________ $________ $________

Invitations/Postage

____________________________ _____-_____-________ $________ $________ $________

Printed Programs

____________________________ _____-_____-________ $________ $________ $________

Yarmulkes

____________________________ _____-_____-________ $________ $________ $________

Bar/Bat lessons

____________________________ _____-_____-________ $________ $________ $________

Clothes

____________________________ _____-_____-________ $________ $________ $________

Tallit/Tefillin

____________________________ _____-_____-________ $________ $________ $________

Hotel valet/Parking

____________________________ _____-_____-________ $________ $________ $________

Gift bags

____________________________ _____-_____-________ $________ $________ $________

Sign-in board

____________________________ _____-_____-________ $________ $________ $________

(Other)

____________________________ _____-_____-________ $________ $________ $________

(Other)

____________________________ _____-_____-________ $________ $________ $________

(Other)

____________________________ _____-_____-________ $________ $________ $________

Total

____________________________ _____-_____-________ $________ $________ $________

54 Bar/Bat Mitzvah // Fall 2014

C