Bar/Bat Mitzvah: Spring/Summer 2015 by Cleveland Jewish Publication Company

Mitzvah Bar•Bat

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THE JOURNEY

Inside: Ten Commandments for b’nai mitzvah children and parents as well as tips from planning professionals from across Greater Cleveland

Mitzvah Bar•Bat

Spring/ Summer 2015

CONTENTS

8 Mitzvah Bar•Bat

SPRING/SUMMER 2015

ENJOY

THE JOURNEY

Inside: Ten Commandments for b’nai mitzvah children and parents as well as tips from planning professionals from across Greater Cleveland

COVER PHOTO | Kim Ponsky Photography

Editor’s Note News, notes and a few words from Editor Michael C. Butz

Looking Back Well-known Northeast Ohioans remember their bar or bat mitzvah

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Ten Commandments B’nai mitzvah children and parents alike can ease – and enjoy – the process by following these tips Humming with Activities Places like WhirlyBall Cleveland and Swings-N-Things offer unorthodox bar and bat mitzvah options

Gift Gems Whether it’s with jewelry or books, there are many ways to match a bar or bat mitzvah with the perfect gift

Money Matters Monetary gifts provide opportunities for a bar or bat mitzvah to learn financial responsibility

Bar/Bat Mitzvah // Spring/Summer 2015

Sense of Place Bar and bat mitzvah venues buck tradition, deliver good times Planning Stages Bar and bat mitzvah receptions require time and effort, and party planners can help parents get started and stay organized

22 34

Ask a Pro Planning tips about floral design, catering, entertainment, photography, stationery and synagogue receptions

REASONS TO BE ‘JEALOUS’

OF CLEVELAND P

arents: You can breathe a little easier now. If at any point you’ve been concerned about one-upping your neighbors or fellow congregants while planning your child’s bar or bat mitzvah, you can put those worries to rest because it seems there may be no more one-ups to give. Who’s to thank for this? The family of Jillian Glasgow, whose Paris-themed bat mitzvah celebration in New York City featured an Eiffel Tower ice sculpture, dessert bar patisserie and couture clothing boutique, according to Access Hollywood. But Access Hollywood wouldn’t be reporting on a bat mitzvah if just for those items, would it? Certainly not. What gained all the headlines for 13-year-old Jillian’s celebration was a surprise appearance by none other than teen heartthrob Nick Jonas, whose 30-minute set featured a handful of songs, including his biggest hit single, “Jealous.” Jillian shared the stage with Jonas during his set, politely standing off to the side to allow him to perform. Her spotlight was momentarily stolen by a younger invitee who rushed the stage and gave the former Jonas Brothers star the biggest hug her tiny arms could muster. While cute, and while Jillian’s guests undoubtedly enjoyed Jonas’ singing, Jonas’ appearance fee for the bat mitzvah was a cool $100,000, according to TMZ. Oy. Let’s hope they can all recite their Torah portion as precisely as they can the lyrics to his songs. The good news is that Northeast Ohio is replete with bar and bat mitzvah entertainment options that don’t involve highpriced, flash-in-the-pan performers. In fact, from event planners and photographers to caterers, florists and DJs, there are so many talented professionals in our region that the challenge is seldom finding someone but rather trying to choose from so many compelling choices – and like we do in every issue of Bar/Bat Mitzvah, we try to introduce you to as many of these experts as possible. In this issue, we also offer tips on gift giving (both material and monetary) and venue selection, and we cover a few unique options for reception activities aimed at piquing the interest of everyone at the party, from the celerant to his or her bubbe and zeyde. Lastly, we offer “Ten Commandments” a set each to b’nai mitzvah children and parents as a fun yet helpful look at the all-important studying and preparation phase. We invited local tutors to weigh in on what to do to ensure the process is enjoyable and productive – not burdensome – leading up to the celebration. So, parents, feel free to leave the pop singers behind, because here in Northeast Ohio, we have all the resources necessary – and then some – to make your son or daughter’s big day a memorable one. So many resources, in fact, that families in New York City or elsewhere would be left feeling very “Jealous.”

Bar/Bat Mitzvah // Spring/Summer 2015

Mitzvah Bar•Bat

Editor Michael C. Butz Art Director Rob Ghosh Contributing Writer Jonah L. Rosenblum

Cleveland Jewish Publication Company Publisher & CEO Kevin S. Adelstein Director of Sales Adam Mandell CJN Managing Editor Bob Jacob Controller Tracy DiDomenico Director of Publishing Operations & Digital Strategy RJ Pooch Events & Marketing Manager Kelly R. Millet Editorial Jacqueline Mitchell Kristen Mott Ed Wittenberg Carlo Wolff Advertising Marcia Bakst Paul Bram Ron Greenbaum Andy Isaacs Adam Jacob Nell V. Kirman Gina Lloyd Sherry Tilson Design Jon Larson Frida Kon Stephen Valentine Business Diane Adams Tammy Crawford Abby Royer Display Advertising 216-342-5204 adsales@cjn.org

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LOOKING BACK

Well-known Northeast Ohioans remember their bar or bat mitzvah Jules Belkin, seated second from right, poses with numerous family members at the bar mitzvah of his younger brother, Mike, standing at center, in the late 1940s at the Lake Shore Country Club in Bratenahl.

JULES BELKIN Senior member, Belkin Productions

PHOTO | Jules Belkin

By Carlo Wolff

ules Belkin’s family used to attend Community Temple at 9801 Euclid Ave. in Cleveland when Jules was a boy. But Community Temple, an establishment on the top floor of a building otherwise devoted to retail, wasn’t big enough or well-equipped enough to accommodate his becoming a man. That meant the Belkin clan had to repair to what used to be known as the Cleveland Jewish Center in Cleveland’s Glenville neighborhood for the boy’s bar mitzvah in 1944. The former Jewish Center, on East 105th Street six blocks north of Superior Avenue, is now the Cory United Methodist Church. The Community Temple, later known as the Euclid Avenue Temple, was “very small,” Belkin says. “You really went to that temple as a kid until you were bar mitzvahed, then you had to find something else,” he says. “They just did not have the facility or the

teachers to continue through the bar mitzvah.” The Jewish Center beckoned – and satisfied. “It was a wonderful celebration,” recalls Belkin, the senior member of Belkin Productions, a powerhouse company formerly synonymous with Cleveland-area rock and roll concerts. “I remember the guy who taught me my bar mitzvah. I went to the Jewish Center to take lessons, it was a guy by the name of Weinraub.” Belkin can’t recall Weinraub’s first name, but that’s OK; in those days, you didn’t address people by their first names but by their

last (with a “Mr.,”“Mrs.” or “Miss” in front), out of a kind of respect. “As we talk, I remember from that old community temple, there was the rabbi, a guy by the name of Goldfarb, he went as a chaplain in the second World War, so he was away for a while,” Belkin recalls. “Maybe that had something to do with the bar mitzvah, so there was only one rabbi. I would have been 11 or 12 years old, so it was on the cusp of the bar mitzvah.” The Jewish Center eventually sold to another religious group “because again the population was starting to move out to the suburbs,” says Belkin, who with his wife, Fran, lives in Mayfield Heights. The Jewish Center evolved into Park Synagogue, where Belkin continued to go to Hebrew School. The Belkins attend Park Synagogue Main. His bar mitzvah at the Jewish Center was a joyous occasion, he

recalls, gathering the “very, very small” Belkin family and a few of his parents’ friends. “The bar mitzvah wasn’t like today where you have all your schoolmates and everything else. It was relatively contained, it was family and friends.” Did he get a lot of nice stuff? Belkin laughs. “Honestly, I don’t remember,” he says, “but there was always that old joke, that you usually get a bunch of fountain pens at your bar mitzvah. Whether I got them I don’t know.” What about the after-party? Belkin remembers his kid brother Mike’s – held at the Lake Shore Country Club in Bratenahl – better than his own. Belkin thinks his was at the big party room at the old Tudor Arms, a newly swank DoubleTree in University Circle, cautioning he’s beginning to remember things “that only happened in my mind.” BB

Bar/Bat Mitzvah // Spring/Summer 2015

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STEPHEN H. HOFFMAN President, Jewish Federation of Cleveland Stephen H. Hoffman, left, reads from a prayer book in preparation for his bar mitzvah at his home in Philadelphia as his father, Philip Hoffman, looks on. PHOTOS | Stephen H. Hoffman

By Ed Wittenberg

tephen H. Hoffman, president of the Jewish Federation of Cleveland, doesn’t remember how many people attended his bar mitzvah more than 50 years ago. But he clearly recalls seeing Wilt Chamberlain – one of the most dominant players in the history of pro basketball – at the kiddush after the service. Hoffman, 64, celebrated his bar mitzvah on his 13th birthday – Dec. 28, 1963 – at Temple Sholom, a Conservative synagogue in Philadelphia that has since closed. He says the 7-foot-1 Chamberlain was there with Ike Richman, coowner of the Philadelphia 76ers at the time, who was a founding member of Temple Sholom. “If I remember right, (Richman) had a yahrzeit that week,” Hoffman says. “So he came that day to recite the kaddish, and for whatever reason, Chamberlain was with him. I didn’t know he was there until after the service was over … they came to say hello at the oneg Shabbat-kiddush.” Interestingly, Chamberlain was not a member of the 76ers at the time. He was drafted by the Philadelphia Warriors, who moved to San Francisco before the 1962-63 NBA season. So Philadelphia was

without an NBA team for one season, until Richman and Irv Kosloff purchased the Syracuse Nationals and relocated them to Philadelphia. That team was renamed the 76ers and began play in 1963-64. But Richman, who was Chamberlain’s lawyer and signed him to his first pro contract, remained close friends with the big center and brought him back to Philadelphia via a trade during the 1964-65 season. Hoffman, who grew up in Philadelphia, says Chamberlain congratulated him at the kiddush, but he doesn’t recall much else about their meeting. “He wasn’t invited to the party,” Hoffman says with a chuckle. At the bar mitzvah service, Hoffman says he read from the Torah, which was unusual at his congregation, and read his haftorah portion from a Torah scroll,

10 Bar/Bat Mitzvah // Spring/Summer 2015

without vowels. “My rabbi and cantor thought I had mastered it quickly enough to move on to the Torah portion,” he says. Hoffman says it went well – “it was flawless” – but he was nervous. “My knees and legs were shaking uncontrollably from behind the bimah,” he says. “But my family thought it was great. Most important was my zeyde (grandfather Joseph Leese). He approved, and that’s all I cared about.” The party was a luncheon following the service at The Northwood, a kosher catering establishment in Philadelphia. Hoffman says his mother, Ruth, planned it and “seemed happy.” “One of my classmates from school, Andrew Levin, had his bar mitzvah the same day,” he says. “It was a twilight service, so I finished my own bar mitzvah and then I had to hustle to get to his. A lot

Stephen H. Hoffman, second from left, holds a Torah scroll prior to his bar mitzvah on the bimah at Temple Sholom in Philadelphia. Looking on, from left, are his grandfather, Joseph Leese; the synagogue’s cantor; and his father, Philip Hoffman. of my classmates had to get over there, too.” Hoffman says he doesn’t remember giving a speech at his bar mitzvah. “Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t; it doesn’t stand out,” he says. “In those days they just didn’t expect much from you when you had a bar mitzvah.” Hoffman, of Shaker Heights, has served as president of the Jewish Federation of Cleveland since December 1983, except for a three-year stint (2001 to 2004) as president and CEO of United Jewish Communities in New York. He and his wife, Amy, are members of B’nai Jeshurun Congregation in Pepper Pike. They have two daughters, Emily and Jessica, and two grandchildren. BB

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PHOTO | Herbert Ascherman Jr.

ENID ROSENBERG

Enid Rosenberg, seated, is surrounded by her son, Justin, daughter, Erin, and husband, David, after Justin’s bar mitzvah in 1992.

Vice chair, Jewish Federation of Cleveland Board of Trustees By Carlo Wolff

nid Rosenberg was bat mitzvahed at age 34, not the customary 13. What kept her from a more common course of events was that she didn’t continue her Hebrew school education into eighth grade but instead stopped it after Grade 7. For several decades. Rosenberg views her bat mitzvah at Park Synagogue as a lesson in persistence and as an example. After all, her kids with Dr. David Rosenberg – daughter Erin and son Justin – had their respective bat mitzvah and bar mitzvah. How could she not have one herself? “I decided to have a bat mitzvah – by myself, not with a group – right before our daughter was to enter Hebrew school,” says Rosenberg, who is prominent in philanthropic, medical and Jewish cultural circles. “How could I expect them to finish what I hadn’t? So I became a bat mitzvah at age 34. I studied with the Rev. Eli Levy at Park and Rabbi Armond Cohen officiated.”

When she was a young girl, she attended Hebrew school at Park three times a week for four years. “When I entered eighth grade, I stopped going to Hebrew school,” she says, adding with girls those days, “it was all about five years of school rather than age. “Women were bat mitzvahed after graduating five years of Hebrew school. The point was you went to Hebrew school for five years, period,” she says. “It wasn’t that I was 13 in seventh grade, which is the usual. It is that I would have had to continue during my eighth-grade year and I just stopped after seventh grade.” Rosenberg began to revisit

12 Bar/Bat Mitzvah // Spring/Summer 2015

her decision when Erin was in third grade in Hebrew school, reasoning that if she wanted her children to become bat and bar mitzvah, “I should have finished what I started.” At the time, Erin was 8, Justin 3. Erin was born in 1974, Justin in 1979. So she studied with the Rev. Levy at Park, as did her kids. Husband David, meanwhile, was bar mitzvahed at Anshe Chesed Fairmount Temple at the customary age of 13. “I think it was very meaningful to do it at that age,” she said of her steps toward bringing closure to her bat mitzvah in her mid-30s. “I enjoyed it, I enjoyed studying for it, and it was quite

something to have my family there,” including both her parents. There was nothing out of the ordinary about Rosenberg’s bat mitzvah but her age. “I just remember a very pleasurable experience,” she says. “It was a lesson: If you start something, finish it.” She did it for her children, she says, thinking, “I never finished that last year and I never was bat mitzvahed.” Assuming the mindset of her daughter and son, Rosenberg says, “If you don’t finish it, why should I? It’s a lesson for them, it’s a lesson for anybody. “You need to finish what you start.” BB

“I think it was very meaningful to do it at that age,” she said of her steps toward bringing closure to her bat mitzvah in her mid-30s. “I enjoyed it, I enjoyed studying for it, and it was quite something to have my family there,” including both her parents.

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RABBI HAL RUDINLURIA Rabbi, B’nai Jeshurun Congregation By Ed Wittenberg

hen he became a bar mitzvah on May 30, 1987, Rabbi Hal Rudin-Luria had no idea he would eventually enter the rabbinate. “Growing up, I thought I’d become a doctor,” he says. “But I always loved Judaism and loved participating in services. The skills I learned in preparation for my bar mitzvah are definitely skills that helped me as I grew as a Jew and as an active teenager and leader in the synagogue.” Rudin-Luria, 40, has served as a rabbi at B’nai Jeshurun Congregation in Pepper Pike since 2001 – the same year he was ordained at the Jewish Theological Seminary of America in New York. The president of the Greater Cleveland Board of Rabbis says he chose his career path while an undergraduate student at the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia, where he led services at Penn Hillel. “It was a combination of my increased activity in the Jewish community, traveling to Israel when I was (at Penn) and doing some personal soul searching of what I wanted to commit to spending my days doing and what I wanted to share with others,” he says. “And I also realized that I am squeamish around blood.” Rudin-Luria, who grew up in West Long Branch, N.J., on the Jersey Shore, celebrated his bar mitzvah at Temple Beth Torah, a Conservative synagogue in Ocean, N.J. He remembers being very nervous while waiting for the service to start. “Cantor Jeffrey Wolk commented to me about how my knees were shaking and how I was lucky there was a podium so only he could see it,” he says. The day before the service, Rudin-Luria was in the syna-

Rabbi Hal Rudin-Luria, then Hal Luria, holds a Torah scroll as he prepares for his bar mitzvah in 1987 at Temple Beth Torah in Ocean, N.J. gogue’s sanctuary having family photos taken when Rabbi Jacob Friedman, who taught the seventh-grade bar mitzvah class, stopped by. “In one picture I always loved, he posed with me almost like he and I were sparring – we have our fists up to each other,” he says. “He was able to have fun and play around at a time when he knew I was very nervous, and it helped me to relax.” Despite his nervousness, Rudin-Luria says he was pleased with how he performed the rituals on the bimah. “Everybody was kvelling (taking pleasure) over me,” he says.

14 Bar/Bat Mitzvah // Spring/Summer 2015

Rudin-Luria’s bar mitzvah Torah portion was Bamidbar, Hebrew for “in the desert.” He says it describes the physical layout of the Israelite camp. “As a congregational rabbi, I always have a special connection with the bar and bat mitzvah students who have the same parsha (Torah portion) as I did,” he says. “I particularly enjoy working with them to find meanings of this portion that connect with their lives, reminding me how I did the same thing when I was approaching my 13th birthday.” Rudin-Luria’s party was also at Temple Beth Torah the same

evening. It featured “outrageous and delicious food,” a band playing dance music and a sports car theme, he says. “My sign-in board had a Lamborghini on it, and there was a big Lamborghini on the stage,” he says. “Now I drive a minivan. That’s what happens when reality sets in.” The entire event was special for his parents, Joyce and Martin Luria, Rudin-Luria says. “I am an only child, so my parents were in their glory,” he says. Rudin-Luria and his wife, Erika, live in Pepper Pike with their sons: Jacob, 11, and Ari, 8. BB

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Ten Commandments

B’nai mitzvah children and parents alike can ease – and enjoy – the process by following these tips By Jonah L. Rosenblum

f a bar or bat mitzvah is a Jewish child’s first step toward adulthood, it’s also frequently a parent’s first time planning a large-scale event and seeing his or her child on the big stage. For children who didn’t come out of the cradle chanting Torah and parents who don’t work as event planners, the day can turn into a smorgasbord of stress. It doesn’t have to, say experts like local tutors Caren Kirchick and Ed Kneitel. Just follow these tips, or commandments if you will. Let’s start with the b’nai mitzvah.

Thou shalt play a part in the happiness of your bar/bat mitzvah experience

Expressing your needs in a mature fashion is part of being a grownup. If there is someone at the synagogue or temple you attend whom you happen to feel very comfortable with, or if you know a friend who really likes his or her tutor, tell Mom and Dad. Working with someone you know and like will make the process easier.

Thou shalt be patient

A bar or bat mitzvah is not easy to prepare for. Some students struggle with tropes, signs above or below a Hebrew text indicating pronunciation. Some struggle with the Hebrew itself. Some struggle to combine the two. Give it time.

III

Thou shalt work

Yuck! It’s true, though. Think about it this way: 20 minutes a day keeps the bar mitzvah bomb away. Daily practice could even lead to an early finish. Homework will likely be assigned – so you should be prepared for the extra load. “At any level, people do great at their bar or bat mitzvah,” says Kirchick, who frequently tutors children at The Temple-Tifereth Israel in Beachwood. “The kids who will struggle are the kids who refuse to practice or don’t have time to practice because they’re too busy.”

Thou shalt add, not subtract

Don’t worry about planning too little at that first expectation-setting meeting with your tutor. If “worst comes to worst” and you finish early, you can always add a prayer or two.

Thou shalt avoid memorization like the plague

Some degree of memorization is natural. Many children absorb Jewish prayers and songs through a sort of osmosis as they participate in holidays and services. But

Some degree of memorization is natural. Many children absorb Jewish prayers and songs through a sort of osmosis as they participate in holidays and services. But just like in school, the best way to learn is to learn, not memorize. 16 Bar/Bat Mitzvah // Spring/Summer 2015

just as in school, the best way to learn is to learn, not memorize. “I make recordings where necessary but I try not to because the goal is for this student post-b’nai mitzvah to hopefully become a future leader in their congregation,” says Kneitel, who tutors many at Congregation Shaarey Tikvah in Beachwood. “They would not be able to do that learning their Torah portion or Haftorah from a recording.”

Thou shalt chant – at least a little – if at all possible

Yes, chanting and singing can be intimidating. When it comes to the Torah, however, it really is preferable, Kirchick says. Reading is substantially harder.

VII

Thou shalt not cram

Save the last-minute miracles for world history. “Typically, we say even though your bar or bat mitzvah is a certain date, you really should be done with everything a minimum of three to four weeks prior,” Kirchick says. “That makes the last month just a review month.”

VIII

Thou shalt not be alone come bar/bat mitzvah day

The nightmare has you standing in front of hundreds of people stumbling over your Torah portion with no one to help you. That’s not true. You are part of a team. Depending on your ability, the service can be divided between rabbi, tutor, cantor and loved ones. “The goal is for the child to succeed,” Kirchick says. “We never

want to put a child on the bimah that’s not ready just so they can meet the deadline.”

Thou shalt know the stage

A bar or bat mitzvah is not all that different from a school play. Your tutor will likely bring you to the temple or venue beforehand to do a full walkthrough and/or rehearsal. Kirchick brings her students in three weeks prior for a session with the cantor. They’ll hold the Torah. They’ll learn to read from it. “If I feel this is a child that needs more than one runthrough, then we will go back to the sanctuary as many times as we need to until they are comfortable,” Kirchick says.

Thou shalt continue your Jewish education

Do you remember that states and capitals quiz you crammed for when you were 11? How many do you remember now? If you don’t want to forget Hebrew the way you forgot the capital of South Dakota (Pierre, by the way), Kneitel notes that many temples keep a list of competent service leaders – and are looking for more. In addition, you can become active in your congregation’s youth group or consider a Jewish day camp or overnight camp. “I would hope they would retain the service, because that’s something that’s a life skill, and no matter where they’re at, it would be nice to have the service,” Kirchick says.

Parents, we have you covered too.

Thou shalt start at age 12

Parents, you fortunately don’t have to do much in preparing your child for his or her bar or bat mitzvah. No need to buy a Rosetta Stone and learn Hebrew. Your job is simply to set your child up with a tutor – and to do that on time. Children typically need six to 12 months to prepare. Be cautious and bring your child in a year prior, so he or she can be assessed and a plan figured out. If the family will be spending some time out of town, you may need to adjust and come in earlier. “I gauge their competency and then I build on that,” Kneitel says. “I use that as a framework for my starting point for tutoring.”

Thou shalt find a tutor

If you belong to a synagogue, the process is usually fairly straightforward. If you don’t belong to a synagogue, don’t fear. Try calling a local synagogue. Chances are that synagogue has a list of tutors that it has worked with in the past. Also, try asking friends whom their kids worked with or if they’ve heard of anyone good. Word of mouth is one of the top ways people find tutors. Rest assured, “someone will take your child on,” says Kirchick.

III

Thou shalt make tutoring as easy as possible for you and your child

Dream big. There are so many tutors out there that you’re bound to find someone who fits your family’s schedule. Some tutor after school. Some prefer weekends. Some tutor at the temple. One might tutor right down the block from you. “When picking a tutor, you have to make sure that your child’s and your schedule works for everybody because it is a commitment,” Kirchick says. “It’s every week for at minimum six months.”

IV tutor

Thou shalt communicate with your

Don’t wait until the bar or bat mitzvah is complete to tell the tutor that you wished your child had sung Adon Olam because it’s your favorite or that he or she had performed the Mourner’s Kaddish in memory of a loved one. Parents have vastly different expectations for what their children should do. Different synagogues have different guidelines as well. This should all be discussed right away. “Some parents want their children to do everything possible and others are comfortable with their children doing the bare minimum,” Kneitel says. “I start with setting expectations.”

Thou shalt encourage your child

A bar or bat mitzvah is a heady, scary time. Encourage your child. Tell him or her stories of your bar or bat mitzvah. Tell them about a time when you couldn’t just Google translate Hebrew to English and vice versa.

Thou shalt help your child make time

Time management is hard for many grownups, let alone children. Help your bar or bat mitzvah-to-be out. Preparing for a bar or bat mitzvah – particularly learning what in many cases is a new language – is hard work and takes time. Your tutor will likely expect your child to practice/do homework for 15-30 minutes a day. Make sure your child has that time. “Parents know their children better than tutors,” Kirchick says. “It’s obviously the parents’ call, this would never be a tutor’s call, but if they would ask me, maybe one play, but I wouldn’t recommend three plays in a six-month period.”

PHOTO | Ed Kneitel

Ed Kneitel works with current student Mollie Stadlin, who is studying for her bat mitzvah in May at Congregation Shaarey Tikvah in Beachwood.

VII

Thou shalt keep the bar mitzvah about the bar mitzvah

You always wanted to perform in front of hundreds at PlayhouseSquare. Doesn’t matter, this is about your child. If your child gets anxious in public or has expressed fear about singing in front of a large crowd, you probably shouldn’t book Quicken Loans Arena for the ceremony and you probably should limit the guest list.

VIII

Thou shalt remain calm

Planning a large event isn’t easy. Focus on that. Don’t worry so much about the Hebrew. That’s the tutor’s job. “If they’re on board and I’ve done my job then a parent really should’ve only needed to prod their child to study more often,” Kneitel says.

Thou shalt be positive

If a child feels coerced, forced or pressured, he or she is unlikely to enjoy the experience and Judaism as a whole. Try to remind your child that his or her bar or bat mitzvah will be a joyous occasion. Frame everything that way. Try taking your child to a bar or bat mitzvah so he or she can appreciate what one is.

Thou shalt be happy

Don’t forget that a bar or bat mitzvah is, well, for lack of a better word, a mitzvah. Enjoy the moment. Revel in your child’s accomplishment and hard work. This is a wonderful opportunity for your child to celebrate the blessing of a job well done. Congratulate them – and yourself – heartily. “They should just be very supportive and thrilled for their child that they’re about to become a b’nai mitzvah,” Kneitel says. BB

PHOTO | Swings-N-Things

HUMMING

WITH ACTIV ITIES Places like WhirlyBall Cleveland and Swings-N-Things offer unorthodox bar and bat mitzvah options By Jonah L. Rosenblum

ake a look at old bar and bat mitzvah photos. There’s the child holding the Torah, the child being lifted in the chair, the family on the dance floor and the endless dinner table pictures. Now, add in bowling, Go Karts, miniature golf, laser tag and a (relatively) new sport called WhirlyBall. “When they walk in, their eyes get as big as saucers,” says Tim Sorge, owner of Swings-N-Things in Olmsted Falls. For eons, parents have struggled to plan an appropriate bar or bat mitzvah celebration – given

the wide range of ages involved. Locations like Swings-NThings and WhirlyBall Cleveland in Bedford Heights help solve the conundrum. “At a typical bar mitzvah, we’ll have a 9-year-old out there and

18 Bar/Bat Mitzvah // Spring/Summer 2015

above with their grandfather and their grandmother,” says Rick Morad, owner of WhirlyBall Cleveland. “They’re all playing.” Swings-N-Things offers a variety of classics. Its miniature golf course features waterfalls, a lighthouse and a 35-foot castle. Its bumper boats come equipped with squirt guns. Its batting cages offer slow pitch for the youngest hitters and 80 mile-per-hour fastballs for Dad. A church event once led to nuns in their late 70s driving Go Karts. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t it sound like a great place for a bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah?” Sorge says. “It’s the kind of place that everybody has a great time. It isn’t just for kids.” WhirlyBall Cleveland offers an equally unusual sight – in addition to favorites like laser tag and bowling. WhirlyBall involves maneuvering a bumper car and shooting a Wiffle ball at a backboard lacrosse-style to get points, two for hitting the backboard and four for hitting the net. For many, the

novelty of the game is part of the thrill. “It’s fun right when you jump in,” Morad says. “It’s very playable. You don’t have to be that natural athlete to get out there and have some fun.” Grownups love it – many hold corporate events at WhirlyBall Cleveland. Kids do too, and unlike many games in which adults hold a decided advantage when placed on the same court, the field is relatively even when it comes to WhirlyBall. “They’ll go a little faster out there. They don’t weigh as much. They’ll hit a little harder too,” Morad says. “The competition is just fierce in families.” Laser tag also appeals to a broad cross section of guests. Morad tells of a recent married couple that, in reviewing their statistics, found that the wife had shot the husband 30 times. (Thankfully, there are many divorce attorneys located nearby.) If WhirlyBall sounds too intense and laser tag is too hard on the back and/or knees, bowl-

ing may hit the sweet spot. One doesn’t have to rent all three, but many families do. At Swings-N-Things, renting the whole 13-acre family fun park likely doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. Instead, a group will typically be given a private picnic area, replete with cornhole, horseshoes and volleyballs. When kids tire of cornhole, they can roam the park, using wristbands that give them access to nearly every attraction. Parents can come with – or hang back without worry. “That’s one of the beauties of our park,” Sorge says. “Our park is enclosed on three sides by natural barriers. We’ve never in 30-some years ever had an issue with kids walking off or being snatched, so to speak. It’s just not an issue.” Then, there’s the universal sport of eating, and for the adults, drinking. WhirlyBall Cleveland has partnerships with a number of restaurants, including Miles Farmers Market, Corky & Lenny’s, Pizza Connection and Tang’s Wok.

PHOTO | Swings-N-Things

If you need proof that WhirlyBall Cleveland is prepared to host your bar or bat mitzvah, just hear Morad note how he helps Jewish mothers avoid over-ordering. “It’s their biggest fear in the world that they might run out of food,” Morad says. “So, we make sure that’s not going to happen.” Swings-N-Things prefers to use one main caterer, who offers a wide assortment of buffets. Families with kosher needs are welcome to bring in their own caterer.

WhirlyBall Cleveland hosts 15 to 20 bar or bat mitzvahs annually. Swings-N-Things, proud host to birthday parties, after-prom parties and a “who’s who of corporate America in Cleveland,” eagerly awaits its first. “We think we’d be an ideal venue,” Sorge says. “We know we have so much to offer. We do corporate outings up to 2,000 people. We’re equipped to do everything. It’s a 13-acre park. We’re kind of at a loss why we’ve never had one.” BB

PHOTO | WhirleyBall Cleveland

PHOTO | Swings-N-Things

Meet Anna

This year, she celebrated her Bat Mitzvah and instead of collecting presents, she suggested donations. Anna created a donor advised fund at the Jewish Federation of Cleveland. She asked her guests to join her in helping make the world a better place by contributing to her fund. Anna is making grant recommendations from the fund to causes that impact and improve lives. If Anna can do it, so can you! For more information on: Creating a fund, contact Carol Wolf at 216-593-2805 or cwolf@jcfcleve.org. Volunteer opportunities, contact Susan Hyman at 216-593-2887 or shyman@jcfcleve.org.

www.jewishcleveland.org Jewish Federation OF CLEVELAND

Spring/Summer 2015// Bar/Bat Mitzvah 19

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PHOTO | Maltz Museum of Jewish Heritage PHOTO | Maltz Museum of Jewish Heritage

By Jonah L. Rosenblum

hen Scott Lazarus became a bar mitzvah, the gift market was a little different. “One hundred years ago, the big gift items were either a Webster’s dictionary or a Cross pen, so that kind of shows how times have changed,” Lazarus says half-seriously. Lazarus, a sales manager and buyer at Bella Design Jewelers’ Chagrin Falls location, notes that gifts have since become a little more costly and the ceremonies themselves a little more elaborate. Therein lies the pressure. On one hand, most attendees want to avoid shelling out more than $60. On the other hand, a bar or bat mitzvah commands more than your average birthday gift. “It’s a memento,” Lazarus says. “It’s like receiving your tallit for the ceremony. You keep that forever.” A classic place to start is jewelry. After all, few items last longer. “By all means, we’re talking about precious metals, so whether you’re doing something in sterling silver or you’re doing it in 14-karat gold, it’s going to last,” Lazarus says. Silver is a great way to save money as well. “Silver is a very popular thing with young girls today,” says Barry Siegler, owner of Lee Jewelers in Mayfield Heights. Pearls are another strong option. They go with pretty much every outfit and can be attained for $79, according to Lazarus. Jewelry isn’t the sole province of women.

Take watches, a classic bar mitzvah gift. “Watches are always a pretty standard gift for a child,” Siegler says. Though cell phones have eradicated some of their usefulness, watches still symbolize maturity. Lazarus notes that his son always used his cell phone to tell time until he entered the workforce. That’s when he realized that a watch was nearly as essential to a work outfit as shirts, slacks and suits. Like watches, which can be bought cheaply, monogrammed jewelry makes for a classy yet affordable gift for both sexes. “That’s a hot trend,” Siegler says. “What’s old is new again. A whole new generation of kids has never seen those.” For those looking to cut corners, jewelry made of recycled material can start at $25. Such jewelry, possibly featuring a meaningful saying or symbol, can make for a great tchotchke. Jewelry is a gamble. Will the bar or bat mitzvah like it? Not even the greatest expert can say for sure. “We get asked those questions a lot,” Lazarus says. “‘How do we know they’re going to like this?’ Well, we don’t know because every child is so different.”

22 Bar/Bat Mitzvah // Spring/Summer 2015

PHOTO | Lee Jewelers

PHOTO | Bella Design Jewelers That doesn’t mean a gift-giver should turn his or her back on jewelry. Rather, he or she should simply check the seller’s refund policy. Other gifts delve directly into Judaism, whether it’s jewelry – a Star of David is always popular, particularly among grandparents – or otherwise – a Kiddush cup or Torah pointer. Larry Solomon, store manager at the Maltz Museum of Jewish Heritage, praises the tzedakah box, a handmade piggy bank of sorts, except that the money is destined for charity. Unlike the tzedakah boxes children encounter in public, which may already be dedicated to a certain cause, a bar or bat mitzvah has the ability to choose which cause matters most to him or her with a personal tzedakah box. “I’ve always been a huge supporter of that as a bar mitzvah gift because it really ties into the idea of taking responsibility for the world around us as a Jewish adult,” Solomon says.

Untraditional gifts can also be golden. Books such as “Great Jews in Sports” or “Great Jews in Entertainment” allow adolescents to connect Judaism with areas they’re already passionate about. Graphic novels, even grave ones like “Maus,” which uses cats and mice to depict the Holocaust, are popular gifts as well. “That’s something where they can be very engaging right off the bat for a young reader,” Solomon says. “They’re not just silly comics. A lot of these are very thought-provoking and impactful.” Less Jewish but no less fun are puzzles and other brainteasers. The options are endless – endless enough to reconsider cutting that check. “It’s so easy to just write a check or buy a gift card,” Solomon says. “It brings a higher level of connection to the event itself if you get a gift that has meaning, that has connection both to the tradition and to the concept of becoming an adult.” So, start looking and be creative. There’s something out there for everyone. BB

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Spring/Summer 2015// Bar/Bat Mitzvah 23

MONEY

MATTERS

Monetary gifts provide opportunities for a bar or bat mitzvah to learn financial responsibility By Jonah L. Rosenblum

n the final book of the Hebrew Bible, King Solomon asks Yahweh for wisdom and knowledge. Yahweh, delighted that Solomon didn’t ask for honor or riches, grants his wish – and tacks on honor and riches. Ideally, that’s how a bar or bat mitzvah is as well. The bar or bat mitzvah asks for and attains knowledge – and is granted a little spare change as an extra reward. For a child, the windfall of bonds, cash and checks can be overwhelming. “It’s a great opportunity for a parent, if they haven’t begun to talk to their son or daughter about the value of saving, to have that conversation,” says Matt Wyner, regional retail sales leader at KeyBank. For children who have always relied on mom or dad’s

McMillen

wallet, it can be incredibly tempting to start spending right away. That first conversation is a chance for parents to discuss with their bar or bat mitzvah how much they ought to spend – and how much they ought to put away. “What you want at 13 is not necessarily what you want when you’re 17 or 18, so there’s some real value, just like as an adult, to having a long-term plan of what you’re trying to save for,” Wyner says. Bankers are prepared to have this conversation with a family as well. Just like when someone comes in to open his or her first savings account, the banker may ask what the money is intended for and then figure out appropriate options. Custodial Wyner savings accounts

24 Bar/Bat Mitzvah // Spring/Summer 2015

offer new opportunities for an adolescent to begin saving. “Interest rates are low right now, but they will go up again at some point, and kids will get to see that money grow, which is obviously a great experience and great life lesson,” Wyner says. At Fifth Third Bank, children are eligible for an extra reward with Goal Setter Savings, where meeting a pre-set goal earns double interest. For example, a child might deposit $1,000 with the goal of rising to $1,250 in a year. If he or she meets that goal, double interest is awarded. He or she can then set another goal. Heather McMillen, retail regional manager at Fifth Third Bank Northeastern Ohio, notes that while the account is in the child’s name, it’s tightly controlled, so a child cannot withdraw without his or her custodian’s permission. Thus, each withdrawal becomes a chance to discuss whether that withdrawal is really necessary. Generally speaking, custodial savings accounts go untouched, allowing a child to accrue funds. For those who would like to accrue more, a 529 (college

savings account) may be a worthwhile option. Of course, a 529 or other investment may require a family leaving behind the comfort and security of a FDIC-insured savings account, where they’ll get every penny up to $250,000 back. They’re also committing time, accepting that their money may rise and fall while working its way toward a long-term goal. For many families, who don’t plan on touching it anyway for quite some time, an investment account makes plenty of sense – particularly given the current low interest rates that have diminished the profitability of bank accounts. “Let’s say they get $2,000 at the age of 13, they’re not going to need those funds for five years,” McMillen says. “How can we put that money to perform a little bit better if they’re not going to be using it?” Thirteen is a special time to begin learning the art of saving money. Soon after, many banks will offer children a shot at their first checking account. They’ll have the opportunity to access their own funds and have their own ATM card – all under a parent’s watchful eye. “It’s the perfect time at the age of 16 to introduce them to a checking account,” McMillen says. “We really want to bring that skill set sooner in the process so they have a couple of years under their belt before they head off.” Some might even get a preloaded credit card for gas money or spending money, thus teaching them budgeting skills. Either way, a bar or bat mitzvah is a great opportunity for a child to begin to grow into a financially responsible adult. “Take advantage of the situation and involve your child in that conversation because it will be a great experience that will hopefully set them up to be financially responsible for the rest of their life,” Wyner says. BB

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SENSE OF PLACE

Bar and bat mitzvah venues buck tradition, deliver good times By Jonah L. Rosenblum

inding the perfect spot for a bar or bat mitzvah marks a new challenge for many parents. Birthday parties provide background knowledge of kidfriendly venues, but the pizzeria that held a child’s fourth birthday likely will not work for hundreds of bar mitzvah guests.

Weddings provide a background in large event spaces – but not all are kid-friendly. The traditional answer for bar mitzvah and wedding alike is a hotel ballroom. The accompanying tradition of fidgety kids and adults sitting side-by-side for endless hours, however, is increasingly being phased out. Marlo Hall, director of catering at the DoubleTree Hilton Hotel Cleveland East Beachwood, notes that she’s seeing far more food

stations and far fewer traditional sit-down dinners. Similarly, at the InterContinental Cleveland, right next to the Cleveland Clinic’s expansive main campus, many children eschew sitting for options like the macaroni and cheese station, the always-popular slider station and a nacho bar. “They like to party and dance and graze,” says Mary Vanucci, catering sales manager at the InterContinental Cleveland.

26 Bar/Bat Mitzvah // Spring/Summer 2015

Parents, meanwhile, are given space – plenty of it. A third-floor gallery space offers separation at the InterContinental Cleveland. “We have one side that kind of works out great for the adults and we have another side that works out really well for the young adults,” says Melissa Fleming, catering sales manager at the InterContinental Cleveland. “I think the parents really appreciate the separation,”

adds Craig Campbell, director of sales and marketing at the InterContinental Cleveland. The DoubleTree offers a ballroom just under 7,000 square feet that can be split into six different sections. For parents struggling to figure out how to entertain children, Dave & Buster’s may come as a breath of fresh air. “What I think sets us apart from your typical venue is our games,” says Will Detki, special

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PHOTO | DoubleTree Hilton Hotel Cleveland East Beachwood

RENDERING | InterContinental Cleveland

PHOTO | Dave & Buster’s

event coordinator at Dave & Buster’s Westlake location. “It’s probably a sigh of relief for some people to be here versus your standard party area, maybe like a hotel ballroom, because you’re not just left sitting at an event.” Attendees have a variety of games to choose from, like Dance Dance Revolution and Guitar Hero, as well as flight and roller coaster simulators. “It’s probably a parent’s dream that their kids are just in the back playing and they don’t have to constantly monitor them,” Detki says. With their children safely entertained, parents can relax and enjoy a few games themselves –

like billiards, Pac Man, Skee ball, shuffleboard and a state-of-theart golf simulator. While Dave & Buster’s may break the mold, it still offers a traditional showroom where everyone can get together before running out to play games. With velvet red drapes and wool carpet, and a projector for embarrassing home videos, it delivers the classic bar or bat mitzvah experience. The Holden Arboretum in Kirtland provides a different distraction: nature. “People love the natural surroundings,” says Shannon Bradick, private event coordinator at the Holden Arboretum. “A lot of what

28 Bar/Bat Mitzvah // Spring/Summer 2015

we have to offer is simply beautiful and a lot of times unexpected. They always react positively.” Guests are encouraged to walk around the expansive grounds. “They are able to come in earlier and stay a little bit later and kind of get an outdoor experience, something that’s not typical with that indoor ballroom setting,” Bradick says. Of course, for those looking to break out of the hotel mold, they are missing out on one key advantage. “They really like to be able to take the elevator to their room and go home instead of getting in a car and having to drive,” Hall said. “It’s nice to have everything all in one location.” Hotel or no hotel, the venues can make another “parents’ dream” come true – getting the bulk of the bar or bat mitzvah planning done in one fell swoop. At a venue like Dave & Buster’s,

entertainment is already taken care of. They can easily work with the venue to bring in music. Many parents will opt for a package deal with food, game card and dessert included – so the whole night is already arranged. “It’s cohesive,” Detki says. “It flows well. It is not something that they have to constantly keep asking about or worrying about every detail.” The Holden Arboretum offers similar ease, providing parents with a list of approved caterers. The DoubleTree has formed similar partnerships, farming food out to The Driftwood Group, and reaching out to Rock the House for MCs and DJs. Chef Christopher Hodgson, responsible for popular downtown eatery Hodge’s and nominated by Food and Wine Magazine as one of The Top 100 Best New Chefs for 2013, helped develop all of the DoubleTree’s banquet menus. “We can customize to each individual event,” Hall says. The InterContinental Cleveland also tries to minimize a parent’s strain by offering a one-stop shopping experience. “We are their initial and only contact throughout the process, which I think is good,” Vanucci says. BB

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PLANNING STAGES

ust as weddings require months of careful planning and attention to detail, so do b’nai mitzvah receptions. With so many moving parts, it’s easy for families to feel overwhelmed.

One of the best ways to avoid stress – and plan a successful event – is to set a budget early on in the process. “Set a budget and don’t spend more than you can afford. That alone will stress you out and you won’t enjoy your weekend event,” says Ginny Sukenik, owner of GS Special Events in Mayfield Heights. “Don’t lose sight that this is a lifecycle event that includes your family and friends. When you are relaxed, feel good and are enjoying the moment, your guests will follow.” Fortunately, Northeast Ohio is home to numerous event planners who can help create the perfect b’nai mitzvah reception, including Sukenik; Melissa Miller, owner of Momentum Events and Pink Gorilla Balloons in Bedford Heights; and Kim Singerman, owner of Noteworthy Events in Solon.

FIRST THINGS FIRST Families should start planning a bar or bat mitzvah reception at least 18 months out from the event date, advises Singerman, to ensure that certain vendors are not already booked. She recommends deciding on the “main ingredients” of the reception first, which include a venue and DJ or entertainment. The next step is finding a planner who can help implement design and decor. “People hire planners so they don’t make mistakes,” Singerman says. “The whole reason behind having a planner is he or she is there to help you make good choices.” Sukenik suggests booking a photographer and caterer right away as well. Details such as invitations, clothing and religious items can be decided on a year or so out, she says.

30 Bar/Bat Mitzvah // Spring/Summer 2015

Bar and bat mitzvah receptions require time and effort, and party planners can help parents get started and stay organized By Kristen Mott UNIQUE THEMES As with any other event, selecting a theme for a bar or bat mitzvah reception is a crucial step. Miller says one of the most popular themes requested last year was a New York City-inspired event. One bat mitzvah she helped plan included stations that featured food found in different NYC neighborhoods, such as Chinatown and Little Italy. Guests took home caramel- and chocolate-dipped apples, to represent the “Big Apple,” as favors. Singerman recently worked to create a chocolate-themed bat mitzvah reception. With the help of Cleveland-area chef Zack Bruell, each item on the reception’s menu included an aspect of chocolate, such as pasta with a sauce that included bits of white chocolate, and hummus that featured cacao nibs. For favors, parents received boxes of Lilly Handmade Chocolates (based in Cleveland’s Tremont neighborhood) while the kids took home chocolate lollipops. Instead of choosing an elabo-

rate theme, Miller says some families are opting to focus on a single color. “An interesting theme has been the use of color,” she says. “If your daughter’s favorite color is pink, we’ll make everything at the party pink. For example, the table names can be shades of pink, like fuchsia, bubblegum or cotton candy.” Sukenik reminds parents to make sure the theme and décor are geared toward an interest of the child, such as a sport or special hobby.

TRENDING TOPICS Children enjoy interactive games and favors, Miller says, which is why airbrushing has remained a popular activity at b’nai mitzvah receptions. Instead of airbrushing tattoos on a guest’s arm, families are now hiring professionals to airbrush designs on cellphone cases, T-shirts or headphones, which the guests can then take home. “The kids get to pick the design that they want on the cell-

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phone case or the T-shirt and they get to watch the person airbrush it right in from of them. It’s a little more personalized and the children get to be active participants in the giveaway,” she said. Social media are everywhere, including at b’nai mitzvah receptions. Many parties are using specially created hashtags for guests to use throughout the evening as they post photos to their various social media accounts. The photos can then be displayed on large screens at the event. “If you can’t beat them, join them,” Miller says. “The kids are going to be on their phones and be preoccupied anyways. Photos have become a huge thing at every b’nai mitzvah, and we’ve even started to design backdrops so the kids can go up and take photos of themselves. It encourages the kids to be more involved in the event.”

CREATIVE CUISINE When it comes to food, Miller says more of her clients are requesting gluten-free items, and

usually none of the menu items contain nuts, since many people suffer from allergies to them. She also notes that small bites have become increasingly popular. “People are gravitating more toward heavy appetizers versus full-plated, sit-down meals. It’s less formal so guests can get up and walk around to socialize and dance. You can even change the appetizers throughout the evening,” she says. Sukenik says many of her clients are requesting simple, healthy and organic foods to serve at the reception. Other clients have requested creative breakfast foods to be served as a unique twist on the traditional dinner. As for dessert, many people incorporate stations into the reception. “Traditionally people have done candy bars, but there are ways you can take that same idea and do something different,” Singerman says. “I’ve seen people do fudge stations, a cake station that features exotic flavors, or a doughnut decorating station,

32 Bar/Bat Mitzvah // Spring/Summer 2015

which is more interactive for the guests.”

ATTENTION TO DETAIL Timing is everything when it comes to planning a successful event, Singerman says. “It’s important to stay organized and keep the evening flowing. There’s nothing worse than going to an event and you’re waiting for the next thing to happen. It’s all about keeping people entertained and making sure your guests feel comfortable at the event,” she said. For parents planning the reception on their own, Miller says communication is key. “Make sure if you’re doing everything yourself that all of your vendors are on the same page and know what to do the

day of the event so everything runs smoothly and there are no surprises,” she says. While many people prefer to handle every detail themselves, Miller says hiring an event planner can remove a lot of unnecessary stress and allow the parents to enjoy themselves on their child’s special day. “Working with a planner takes the stress off of the parents, especially on the day of the event,” she says. “Hiring a planner doesn’t mean they do everything, but it’s nice to have someone else who knows what you’re trying to accomplish, which makes all the difference in the world. You can enjoy yourself at the event and allow your guests to enjoy themselves by letting the planner handle all the details.” BB

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lot of time and effort goes into planning a bar or bat mitzvah, and along the way, many questions are certain to arise. Thankfully for area families, Greater Cleveland is home to many professionals with the experience and know-how to help answer those questions and offer advice.

Compiled by Kristen Mott

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ENTERTAINMENT

PETE TROY

FOUNDER | TROY ENTERTAINMENT | STRONGSVILLE WHAT’S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO CONSIDER? Select a company that can cater to the child and their peers as well as the adults in attendance. It’s important that the company has the ability to offer that range. That makes it a great event for all involved and not just for the young adults.

WHAT ELSE SHOULD PARENTS CONSIDER? Creativity is always important. Look for companies that are able to take an idea or concept and bring that vision to life. Entertainment companies should go the extra mile to make sure the event is different from the last event the guests have attended.

PHOTO | Troy Entetainment WHAT TRENDS ARE YOU SEEING? Live social media at receptions is very popular. At the event, guests can take photos and then post them to their Instagram or Twitter account using a specially created hashtag. A live feed of the photos and what people are saying about the event will then appear on large screens at the reception.

WHEN SHOULD PEOPLE START PLANNING? People should select an entertainment company at least a year and a half or two years in advance. Most of the key companies are selected by that time

“People should select an entertainment company at least a year and a half or two years in advance. Most of the key companies are selected by that time and may be booked.” and may be booked. The rest of the planning process usually begins a year out, and the final details of the event come within the last month or so of the event date. BB

PHOTO | Temple Emanu El

RENEE HIGER

EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR | TEMPLE EMANU EL | ORANGE

SYNAGOGUE RECEPTIONS

WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS OR ADVANTAGES? A synagogue reception provides families with a one-stop shop. I’ve also seen that when the reception occurs directly after the service, more of the kids and teens actually come to the service. The youth have worked on their portion of the service for many, many months, and they should have the opportunity for not just their family but also their peers to see all the work that they have done. Also, by having the reception in a synagogue, it sends a clear message that this is not just a party but a party to celebrate this huge Jewish milestone in these 13-yearolds’ lives.

WHAT’S OFTEN OVERLOOKED? By using a synagogue as opposed to another venue, parents can provide their own supplies and refreshments, which saves them

36 Bar/Bat Mitzvah // Spring/Summer 2015

a significant amount of money. And when the reception is at a synagogue, people are coming to one place, which is especially nice for out-of-town relatives. Some of the most wonderful events we’ve had are when someone starts with a luncheon here, then the ceremony and then the evening reception. It becomes something where this family from out of town gets to really know the synagogue well.

WHAT TRENDS ARE YOU SEEING? People are cutting back on the number of guests. We’re not seeing 200 to 250 people invited to a reception. Instead, people are trying to have fewer than 150 people. A lot of people used to have a separate children’s party, but that becomes cost prohibitive, so many people are only having one party. If they do have a children’s party, it’s usually something

very casual. Also, boys having the traditional sports theme and girls having a dressier party theme have both stood the test of time.

WHEN SHOULD FAMILIES START PLANNING? We recommend anywhere from a year to 18 months out. I always recommend finding your venue, caterer, photographer and DJ or other entertainment first, and then you can wait a little bit to plan the rest of the details. I also recommend that for people who are crafty to make a lot of the decorations or centerpieces themselves. That way it becomes an achievement of the family and something they feel they have truly worked on together. BB

SALLY BRAM

OWNER | INVITATIONS & CALLIGRAPHY BY SALLY BRAM | PEPPER PIKE

You have to set up a budget. You also want to set the tone for the bar or bat mitzvah invitation according to what you’re doing for the event. You don’t want to send out a really fancy invitation if you’re having a more casual event. When you address the invitations, don’t use stickers. Try to use either nice computer addressing or hand calligraphy.

WHAT ELSE SHOULD PARENTS CONSIDER? I usually sit down with my clients and go over a checklist with them. That way they let me know what they do and don’t need.

There are a lot of new fonts out there, so people who want a nice invitation but are looking to do something a little different will play around with type styles. Always keep in mind that you want the font to be legible and want people to understand what they’re being invited to.

STATIONERY

WHAT’S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO CONSIDER?

WHEN SHOULD PEOPLE START PLANNING? Six months out from the event you want to start looking at invitation style – unless you’re doing save-the-date cards, then start eight months out. The invitations should be mailed to guests eight weeks prior to the event. BB

PHOTOS | Sally Bram

WHAT TRENDS ARE YOU SEEING? Lately I’ve seen people using twocolor ink or distinctive papers.

CHRIS HODGSON

PARTNER AND CHEF | DRIFTWOOD RESTAURANTS AND CATERING | CLEVELAND WHAT’S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO CONSIDER?

WHAT TRENDS ARE YOU SEEING? We’re seeing more healthy foods being requested. We’re also doing a lot of food stations, which are becoming more popular than the traditional buffet or plated dinner. We can create fun and unique stations where chefs are cooking and preparing the food right in front of the guests.

WHEN SHOULD PEOPLE START PLANNING? We won’t take on more than two or three parties a day. Right now we’re turning people away for weddings because we’re not going to give someone low quality or take on too much. As soon as you know the date, book us, because if you come back in two weeks you might not have the ability to do that. We tell all of our clients to sign a contract, which keeps us booked for that day. All the menus and details can get worked out along the way. BB

PHOTOS | Infocus-Studios - www.infocus-studios.com / Driftwood Catering

CATERING

Figure out what you want to focus on, whether it’s the décor, the favors or the food. Catering companies have a wide range of capabilities, but if you don’t care much about the food, then you’re going to just have traditional food like chicken fingers at the event. We tend to cater a lot of b’nai mitzvah where the food is the big focus. We design menus for each individual party, so no matter what bar or bat mitzvah you go to, you won’t see the same food twice.

favorite food is. It’s that boy or girl’s special day and we want to highlight foods that they really enjoy.

WHAT’S OFTEN OVERLOOKED? A lot of times the children’s food is the afterthought, even though this is a kid’s party. When we first meet with the clients, I always ask the parents what their kid’s

Spring/Summer 2015// Bar/Bat Mitzvah 37

FLORAL

ARNE KLEIN PIETER BOUTERSE VICE PRESIDENT OF BLOOMS, THE FLORAL DESIGN AND EVENT DIVISION OF PLANTSCAPING BLOOMS BY OWNER | PIETER BOUTERSE STUDIO | WARRENSVILLE HEIGHTS PLANTSCAPING | CLEVELAND WHAT’S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO CONSIDER?

I think there has to be a concise theme, whether it’s color or the scope of thematic ideas they’re thinking of: magazines, models, runways or something that we can then play off of. We need to come up with the ideas, but the more vision we have from the client, the more it helps us.

WHAT’S OFTEN OVERLOOKED? These days, I think it’s budget – still to this day, even with all of the information out there. People are looking for really interesting and unique arrangements, whether it’s

WHAT’S THE MOST

assorted vessels THING or the scope and IMPORTANT style of an arrangement, and a lot TO CONSIDER? of don’t have a clue about Forpeople some families, it’s important what things cost. to staythese within the parameters of a Basically, I’d talk it’ about that. I to budget. For others, s important tend to do guidelines most of myofmeetings stay within local floral face to face,or soeven if people bring in production the parameter photos things, I can tell them of Israeliof grown flowers. To me, right the bat, “This is acriteria very one ofoffthe fundamental expensive andthat steer them is to create thing” a design honors in different direction – toward thea commitment of a bar or bat something the same feel mitzvah andthat thehas commandments but is maybe less expensive. Not of their faith. Though personalized everyone has a sky-is-the-limit to the individual or the family’s budget. preferences, I feel that in creating an appropriate design the focal point remains on this young adult. WHAT OTHER QUESTIONS Flowers should selected and SHOULD BEbe ASKED OR designed an appropriate vessel TOPICS in CONSIDERED? to remain fresh theme during the I think budget, andovercolor night pre-staging in the temple.

WHAT’S OFTEN OVERLOOKED? PHOTO | Elizabeth Glorioso Photography

It’s important for some families to do a photo session the day prior

to the event, and thus the flowers need be installed in aI’m timely are thetobiggest things. going fashion protected so that to walk and thembethrough everything theythen look perfect the ceremony and preparefor a detailed the next day. Often the they familywant will proposal. I guess what try tome, maximize the information budget by from the more flowers that are proIworking have upwith front, the less running vided forthere’ regular weekly services. I around s going to be. I try to find that the as personalization of the help people much as I possibly setting brings lasting memories. can.

WHAT TRENDS ARE YOU SEEING? For batinteraction and bat mitzvahs, none. In my with clients, a Honestly, it’s all over trend is created to fit the place. vision or Weddings areevent. a whole erent theme of the Thisdiff may relate story. to a particular travel experience of the family or a particular affinity for a particular type of flower. It could WHEN SHOULD PEOPLE be relatedPLANNING? to shared memories, or START the intrigue with particuIsimply think it’ s always nice toahave your lar color or texture. While often a theme is integrated with flowers and other objects, it’s important that design synergy is prevalent in the net result. We design pieces that have a peripheral impact to a

space beyond simply decorating a seatingintable. adults vendors line,The andyoung if someone the event exposed many isatlooking forare a very grandtoset-up, of their Icelebrations think easily they canpeers, start and plan-it’s important metotogive create an event ning a yeartoout everyone that istonot on the themefor of time dobased their due diligence the last event that they have gone everything in their proposal. to but create a personalized If it’to s just flowers, that can be statement own. much less. on Youtheir don’t have to think a year out. For us, flowers are easy, but if we’re doing other things, it’s WHEN SHOULD PARENTS nice to have more time. If there’s START PLANNING? building likethe building This trulyinvolved, pertains to flexsets, involved in lighting ibilityorofwe’re the individual decorator. and things of that nature, weis It’s important a budget want to have more time to plan adhered to, but at the same time all that. BB that the family can it’sof important make changes up to the last reasonable timeframe. To create the best effect, flowers should be preordered from local suppliers two weeks before the event. However, our firm procures most materials from an international market and we are able to accommodate modifications as close to seven days prior to the event. BB

TONY PALMIERI

PHOTOGRAPHY

PHOTOGRAPHER, OWNER | PALMIERI’S FINE ART PHOTOGRAPHY | CHAGRIN FALLS WHAT’S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO CONSIDER? Look at the photographer’s work before you hire them. Even if you’ve used somebody in the past, consider new people. Other people’s work may be better and you may be missing out on someone who can truly capture a beautiful day for your child.

WHAT’S OFTEN OVERLOOKED? Lighting is really important. Many photographers will just use a standard flash, which often makes the background dark. I have lights set up all over the place to capture things in the background, like people, balloons or decorations, which are usually blurred out in other photos. This gives the photos a much more professional and polished look.

38 Bar/Bat Mitzvah // Spring/Summer 2015

WHAT ELSE SHOULD PARENTS CONSIDER? Look at a few bar mitzvah photos from beginning to end. A photographer can always show the one best picture they got from an event, but that doesn’t mean they planned it. Look at the event photos from beginning to end so you have an idea what you can expect from the photographer.

WHAT TRENDS ARE YOU SEEING? People like spontaneity. They want a photographer to capture an expression on their child’s face so they can say, “That’s the look he or she always gives me!” That comes from the photographer following the child and watching and waiting for something to happen. It’s also important to pay attention to everything else that’s happening at the event. If you’re always watching just the child, sometimes you miss other great

moments to photograph.

WHEN SHOULD PEOPLE START PLANNING? I would recommend at least eight months out. For photographers who are good, they’re going to be sought out for all kinds of events. If somebody wants really nice portraits, they’re going to want to give the photographer enough notice so they’re not booked. The further out you can plan, the better. BB

PHOTO | Palmieri’s Fine Art Photography

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