Jstyle Weddings 2005

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WEDDINGS

Picking the best gown for your body type Creative hors d’oeuvres Destination weddings Countdown to the big day

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Weddings take place every day. Only yours is once in a lifetime. Š

2005 The Ritz-Carlton Hotel Company, L.L.C.

The Ritz-Carlton, Cleveland At Tower City Center

There is no such thing as too perfect. Not when you are planning the most memorable day of your life. The Ritz-Carlton, Cleveland, can help bring your every dream to life. Ask about the historic Silver Grille, a nostalgic Cleveland icon available for your reception. For more information, call The Ritz-Carlton, Cleveland at 216-623-1300, or visit www.ritzcarlton.com.

010 contents

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WEDDINGS 20 Features

Style 62 Princess brides

20 Affirming their love on location

by June Scharf

88 Wedding gowns to flatter every figure

by Rae A. Phillips

28 Making it personal

by Susan H. Kahn

92 Sneak Peek

by Jennifer Slate Grischkan

112 A wedding instead of a volleyball game

by Joan Kekst

Traditions

Planning

68 Good ‘groom’ing

by Herb Geduld

34 Hot spots for bridal shots

by Douglas J. Guth 42 Dipping into new appetizer and drink trends

by Arlene Fine 50 Weddings that give back

by Lila Hanft

96 Intro to Judaism 101

by Tim Tibbitts 104 My adventures in keeping a kosher home

by Carol M. Splaver 108 Mikveh: House of hopes

by Chava Willig Levy

54 Helpful hands for nuptial plans

by Marilyn H. Karfeld 58 A wedding wine wish list

by Andrew Zashin 76 Wedding Countdown 78 Farewell brunch for bride, groom and guests

by Joan Kekst 86 How to toast the bride and groom

by Ted S. Stratton

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CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS FEBRUARY 2005

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FEBRUARY 2005 CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS

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WEDDINGS JENNIFER SLATE GRISCHKAN Special Sections and SOURCE Editor ROB CERTNER Chief Executive Officer CYNTHIA DETTELBACH Executive Vice President-Editor JENNIFER R. WOOMER Advertising Director SHERRY LAPINE Business Manager SHARON ULSENHEIMER Production Manager FRIDA KON Creative Director SHELLEY SCHLOSS Graphic Artist MARGI HERWALD City Editor JANET DERY Associate Editor MARTHA ROSENFIELD Advertising Manager DIANNE PALMER Circulation/Marketing Manager DAVID M. SELTZER Web Producer EDITORIAL STAFF

Carolee Baum, Ellen Schur Brown, Arlene Fine, Stephanie Garber, Douglas J. Guth, Lila Hanft, Susan H. Kahn, Marilyn H. Karfeld, Roberta Sears, Violet Spevack, Carol M. Splaver, Ted S. Stratton SENIOR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES

Marsha Ettinger, Ron Greenbaum, Laurie Mandell

W

Whether you’re polishing your new engagement ring, letting your preteen granddaughter try yours on, or anywhere in between, we hope you enjoy the CJN’s 28th annual Weddings issue.

With advice on how to give a great wedding toast to suggestions for buying a flattering wedding gown, Weddings is your guide for planning the perfect day. Look for our special features on destination weddings and local ketubah and chupah artists, and be sure to check out stories from our readers about their own unique wedding cakes.

Unfamiliar with some of the Jewish wedding terms used throughout the magazine? Turn to the glossary on page 18.

If you are planning a wedding, don’t miss our handy wedding countdown checklist, beginning on page 76. Also, please take a few moments to fill out our readership survey between pages 106 and 107. You could win a ring designed by David Yurman, courtesy of Alson Jewelers.

It’s a pleasure bringing you these stories of love and tradition.

Happy reading!

ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES

Paul Bram, Rachel Cross, Nell V. Kirman ADVERTISING COORDINATOR

Alita Michael ASSISTANT TO THE ADVERTISING DIRECTOR

Laura Malto CLASSIFIED SALES

Rhoda Brooker, Bernice Levine ASSISTANT PRODUCTION MANAGER

Christine Ulsenheimer

Jennifer Slate Grischkan Special Sections and SOURCE Editor

PRODUCTION STAFF

Rupal Mehra, Beverly Mindlin, Matt Narby, Steven Ollay, Glenna Rosenberg ADMINISTRATIVE STAFF

Diane Adams, Aida Brifman,Tammie Crawford, Alice Fingerhut, Marilyn Tobin

VOL. 95 NO.7 CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS (ISSN-0009-8825) is published weekly, with additional issues in February, March, June, September, November and December by The Cleveland Jewish Publication Company at 23880 Commerce Park, Suite 1, Cleveland, Ohio 44122 Single copy $1.00. Periodicals Postage paid at Cleveland, OH. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to the Cleveland Jewish News, 23880 Commerce Park, Suite 1, Cleveland, Ohio 44122

The Cleveland Jewish Publication Company a not-for-profit corporation

www.clevelandjewishnews.com

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CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS FEBRUARY 2005

On the Cover: Strapless drop-waist gown

by Kenneth Pool for Amsale.

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CJN Weddings glossary

B

Below are Jewish wedding-related terms that are used throughout the CJN’s Weddings magazine. aufruf: calling up of the groom to recite blessings over the Torah on the Shabbat before the wedding bedeken: placing of veil over bride; done by groom prior to wedding ceremony beshert: meant to be; intended one; destined bima: pulpit chatan: groom chupah, chupot: wedding canopy(ies) erusin: betrothal ceremony, first part of the wedding service get: Jewish writ of divorce halacha: Jewish law hora: traditional Jewish folk dance, performed in a circle groom’s tish: Yiddish for “table,”

f i n e

j e w e l r y

where the groom, his groomsmen and male family members gather for song and dance before the wedding ceremony kallah: bride kashrut: keeping kosher; system of Jewish dietary laws ketubah, ketubot: marriage contract(s) kiddush: blessing said over wine to sanctify beginning of a Shabbat or holiday kipa, kipot: skullcap(s) kittel: white ceremonial robe sometimes worn by groom during wedding ceremony machetunim: in-laws mazel tov: good luck, congratulatory wish mezuzah: handwritten scroll on which are written two biblical passages; affixed to doorpost of Jewish home

•

w a t c h e s

•

mikveh: ritual pool used for purposes of purification minhagim: traditions mitzvah, mitzvot: obligation(s) to Jewish faith; meaning “to bind” to God; good deed(s) nisuin: nuptial portion of wedding service shadchan: professional matchmaker sheva brachot: seven blessings said during wedding ceremony and in grace after meals; also refers to week of festive meals following wedding simcha: joyous occasion taharat hamishpacha: laws of family purity tallit, tallitot: prayer shawl(s) tsedakah: charity yichud: “union;” brief seclusion of bride and groom immediately after wedding ceremony ❤

g i f t w a r e

•

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014 Edit. letter 2/7/05 11:55 AM Page 1

The Jewish Community Federation of Cleveland brings together people in our community. They mingle. They learn. They may even join together under a chuppah.

The Federation makes other matches as well. We pair senior citizens with young volunteers.

Students with teachers. Israeli Jews with Cleveland Jews.

Hungry people with food.

In fact, the Federation Â&#x2013; through the annual Campaign for Jewish Needs, supporting foundations, philanthropic and endowment funds and the Centennial Initiative Â&#x2013; provides hope to people in Cleveland, Israel and around the world, and makes it possible for Jews of all ages and backgrounds to engage in acts of tikkun olam (making the world a better place).

You can make a better community possible by creating a philanthropic fund or endowment fund in honor of a special occasion. For more information, please contact Alan D. Gross, Berinthia R. LeVine or another member of the Philanthropic Planning Group at (216) 566-9200 or philplan@jcfcleve.org.

All inquiries are confidential.

(216) 566-9200 philplan@jcfcleve.org www.jewishcleveland.org 3579

014 Edit. letter 2/7/05 11:56 AM Page 2

WEDDINGS JENNIFER SLATE GRISCHKAN Special Sections and SOURCE Editor ROB CERTNER Chief Executive Officer CYNTHIA DETTELBACH Executive Vice President-Editor JENNIFER R. WOOMER Advertising Director SHERRY LAPINE Business Manager SHARON ULSENHEIMER Production Manager FRIDA KON Creative Director SHELLEY SCHLOSS Graphic Artist MARGI HERWALD City Editor JANET DERY Associate Editor MARTHA ROSENFIELD Advertising Manager DIANNE PALMER Circulation/Marketing Manager DAVID M. SELTZER Web Producer EDITORIAL STAFF

Carolee Baum, Ellen Schur Brown, Arlene Fine, Stephanie Garber, Douglas J. Guth, Lila Hanft, Susan H. Kahn, Marilyn H. Karfeld, Roberta Sears, Violet Spevack, Carol M. Splaver, Ted S. Stratton SENIOR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES

Marsha Ettinger, Ron Greenbaum, Laurie Mandell

W

Whether you’re polishing your new engagement ring, letting your preteen granddaughter try yours on, or anywhere in between, we hope you enjoy the CJN’s 28th annual Weddings issue.

With advice on how to give a great wedding toast to suggestions for buying a flattering wedding gown, Weddings is your guide for planning the perfect day. Look for our special features on destination weddings and local ketubah and chupah artists, and be sure to check out stories from our readers about their own unique wedding cakes.

Unfamiliar with some of the Jewish wedding terms used throughout the magazine? Turn to the glossary on page 18.

If you are planning a wedding, don’t miss our handy wedding countdown checklist, beginning on page 76. Also, please take a few moments to fill out our readership survey between pages 106 and 107. You could win a ring designed by David Yurman, courtesy of Alson Jewelers.

It’s a pleasure bringing you these stories of love and tradition.

Happy reading!

ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES

Paul Bram, Rachel Cross, Nell V. Kirman ADVERTISING COORDINATOR

Alita Michael ASSISTANT TO THE ADVERTISING DIRECTOR

Laura Malto CLASSIFIED SALES

Rhoda Brooker, Bernice Levine ASSISTANT PRODUCTION MANAGER

Christine Ulsenheimer

Jennifer Slate Grischkan Special Sections and SOURCE Editor

PRODUCTION STAFF

Rupal Mehra, Beverly Mindlin, Matt Narby, Steven Ollay, Glenna Rosenberg ADMINISTRATIVE STAFF

Diane Adams, Aida Brifman,Tammie Crawford, Alice Fingerhut, Marilyn Tobin

VOL. 95 NO.7 CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS (ISSN-0009-8825) is published weekly, with additional issues in February, March, June, September, November and December by The Cleveland Jewish Publication Company at 23880 Commerce Park, Suite 1, Cleveland, Ohio 44122 Single copy $1.00. Periodicals Postage paid at Cleveland, OH. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to the Cleveland Jewish News, 23880 Commerce Park, Suite 1, Cleveland, Ohio 44122

The Cleveland Jewish Publication Company a not-for-profit corporation

www.clevelandjewishnews.com

14

CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS FEB 05

On the Cover: Strapless drop-waist gown

by Kenneth Pool for Amsale.

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AFFIRMING THEIR LOVE

ON LOCATION Native Clevelanders share details of their recent destination weddings

BY JUNE SCHARF

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PHOTOS / JOHN HENRY PHOTOGRAPHY

020-026 #1 destination

Dan Rosenstein and Alex Lawson held their wedding in Maui.

W

When weddings are set in exotic, tropical locations, the occasions have “vacation” written all over them for those who attend. But therein lies the rub – how many people are willing to leap off the continent to attend someone’s nuptials? Turns out, plenty.

Known as “destination weddings,” these far-flung fêtes are growing in popularity. Even NBC’s Today Show featured a top-notch destination wedding for a lucky couple last year on their popular segment FEBRUARY 2005 CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS

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PHOTOS / ALAN SMITH

020-026 #1 destination

Adam Fisher and Haley Gilbert were married in Montego Bay, Jamaica.

“Today Throws a Wedding.” While these events demand time, travel and expense, the payoff for the bridal couple and guests typically comes in the form of a beautiful location with time to relax and indulge in a warm climate and new sights. Below, three couples share details of their recent destination weddings. *** t wasn’t until the day after the wedding that Dan Rosenstein’s parents, Lilia and Nick Rosenstein of Pepper Pike, were convinced that his wedding on Maui was a sensational idea. And they are still raving about it now, six months afterward.

“I spent an entire weekend trying to convince everyone that it would work, but it was such a foreign concept,” Dan said in a telephone interview from his home in Seattle. His mother remained adamantly against it, thinking there was great risk involved in planning an event without being familiar with the location or vendors, to say nothing of the travel distance.

Dan, a 27-year-old Orange High School grad, and his wife, Alex, a 25-year-old Seattle native, decided to go this route after very little discussion. Alex’s family had set a precedent for destination weddings with one cousin get-

I

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about the wedding locale, some admittedly were not. ting married on Oahu and another in Mexico. After Cost was the primary issue. For some who did attend, witnessing these weddings, she saw how “it could be they considered their presence as their present to the such a positive experience.” Also, for Alex’s family on couple, Dan notes. the West Coast, the trip to Maui was only a sixhour flight as opposed to almost double the Alex cautions those planning this type of Many travel time for the Cleveland contingent. event to recognize that, “in the end, it’s your wedding day,” and you can’t please everyIn total, 107 people were present at the coupeople body. ple’s October wedding, including 40 family made a members, with the balance composed of The Rosensteins planned a very traditionfriends, some of whom came from as far as week-long al wedding – black tie – with a sit-down dinBoston. If the wedding were held in Seattle, ner which is somewhat atypical for destinavacation Dan figures the guest list would have been tion weddings. But Dan wanted something three times as long and almost as expensive for more upscale. The rehearsal dinner, though, out of the ones paying the bill. For this reason, he was dressed down with a Hawaiian theme, their trip. rationalizes that the offshore wedding didn’t hula dancers, and a band costumed in floral really cost more. shirts.

Luckily, many guests were able to use frequent flyer When it was all over, the couple hopped over to miles to book their flights. Dan also was able to secure Kauai for the honeymoon. good hotel rates for guests. *** His ultimate rationalization for having a destination or Katie Fox, 29, it had to be sandals for her wedwedding, however, lies with the fact that he and his ding ceremony and bare feet for everything else. wife were able to spend much more time with their Good thing she forsook shoes, because she danced guests than they would have at a three- or four-hour in the ocean during her reception. The beaches at event in town, since many people made a week-long Playa del Carmen in Mexico offered her and her guests vacation out of their trip. an open invitation, and they joyously accepted.

While many of the people invited were excited “We have a very laid-back mentality,” explained the

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during their own vacation taken shortly after they Shaker Heights High School graduate during a telemet. phone interview from her home in Tempe, Ariz. She and her husband, John Cabay, 31, knew they wanted a For destination weddings, a couple is heavily non-traditional and less formal weddependent upon either an independent ding. Walking down the aisle to the wedding planner and/or a staff perGrateful Dead’s “China Cat Sunflower” son at the hosting hotel. All that was gives a solid indication of their celebrarequired of Katie, who worked with a tion’s vibe. wedding planner, was to select her cake, flowers and reception spot and The Adventura Palace resort served time. As for travel arrangements, she as the base for their 40 guests. There relied on a travel agent to “take care was little need to entertain them of everything” and recommended that because the surroundings provided her guests do the same. ample activity, including snorkeling, swimming with dolphins, visiting The tropical environment in Playa Mayan ruins, as well as indulging in the del Carmen serves as a perfect and amenities available at the resort. Guests reliable setting, as long as it’s not hurwere greeted in their rooms by welcome ricane season, Katie notes. As for rain, bags in the form of “survival kits” that it’s typically intermittent, lasting only Katie had created including, among about 10 minutes. other things, sunscreen, band-aids and How to travel with a wedding Katie Fox and John Cabay disposable cameras. The cameras dress? were married in Mexico. proved to be a great asset, as people “Don’t ship it or pack it because it snapped pictures at times and places will get creased,” she warns. Instead, that the professional photographer never reached. have it stuffed with tissue paper, and carry it onboard “People got a mini-vacation out of the experience,” with you. Airlines are very accommodating.” says Katie, daughter of former Clevelanders, Suzanne It’s also not a bad idea to arrive four to five days in Fox and John Fox. The couple discovered the location advance of your wedding. “Things can move slowly

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direct flights from most major cities. Montego Bay in in Mexico,” Katie notes.

Jamaica struck them as ideal.

The couple stayed in Mexico for an additional 10 “Plus, you can find deals there as compared to a days for their honeymoon. place like St. Bart’s (in the Caribbean).” *** They set a March wedding date to avoid bad-weathaley Gilbert was faced with a choice: either a er travel and selected a brand-new Ritz-Carlton hotel gorgeous but predictable wedding at the for their ceremony and reception.

Beverly Hills or Bel-Air Hotel near her home About 180 people attended, with 20in Los Angeles, OR do some30% of them family members. “We defithing “fun and memorable” like jetting It had to be nitely had some friends who opted out, off to an exotic locale, as her fiancé and our response was, ‘We love you, but Adam Fisher suggested. sandals for her we totally understand if you can’t At first, “we had a lot of disagreewedding come.’” ments over this issue,” admits Haley, a “It’s a choice – you are asking people Hawken graduate and daughter of ceremony and to obligate themselves,” she says.

Elaine and Bart Gilbert of Pepper Pike. bare feet for For those who attended, the resound“I’m the artsy one,” explains the 33everything else. ing response was that is was memorable year-old writer and actor during a telebecause “it was different and special,” phone interview from L.A. Nonetheless, she adds. she was thinking along more conventional lines. She was happy, however, that her husThe occasion wasn’t about “our parents throwing band-to-be was taking such an interest in the planus a party,” explains Haley. “It was about us getting ning. He persuaded her to have a destination wedding married.” Her parents actually warmed quickly to the by asking leading questions like, “Do you want the idea. wedding to be an obligation? Do you want it to be in It was important that the event be relaxing for the same room as the so-and-so wedding?”

Adam especially because he travels frequently for his The couple began their planning process by pulling work as the owner of a venture capital company, out maps and considering locations that would have Haley says. The atmosphere on the island certainly

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provided that.

Haley did have one “major fiasco.” The roses the florist provided were not in the colors she had ordered.

“I had been a calm bride up until then. The mistake set me off.”

As a result, she strongly advises using a wedding coordinator rather than the hotel planner as she did.

“The coordinator becomes the third party to deal with issues,” she explains.

She also recommends learning how to do your own hair and make-up, because the people available to you at the hotel may not satisfy your needs.

“With a destination wedding, you’re not going to have the amenities that you’re used to. But what you will get is beauty and romance.”

Her ceremony was held on a lawn overlooking the ocean at 5 p.m. on a Sunday. Her chupah was made with bamboo joints, and her rabbi, who also was her husband’s cousin, came in from Milwaukee, while the cantor flew in from L.A. The couple folded their honeymoon into the wedding and stayed on for an extra week. ❤ For more information about destination weddings, contact: Action Travel, 440-248-4949 Elite Tours & Travel, 216-541-9000 Professional Travel, Inc., 216-593-7040

Travel agents offer tips for destination weddings Travel agents can save wedding couples time and money as well as spare them hassle by offering expertise in the finer points of getting married beyond Cleveland’s immediate borders. Here are some tips to consider when getting started on your planing from Gail Cochran of Flite II Travel and Randi Lubline of Professional Travel.

• Determine marital license requirements, which vary by location, and find out how long a country’s government demands that a couple stay on its turf to authorize the marriage license (usually it’s a 24- or 48-hour minimum stay).

• When it comes to weddings on cruise ships, the actual ceremony must occur on land, not in international waters. In the case of a Caribbean cruise, the ship can take guests to St. Thomas for the ceremony since it’s legally part of the U.S. • To ensure your guests get the best airline fares, send out save-the-date cards six to nine months in advance of the wedding. Include the name and toll-free number of a travel agent so that discounts can be secured through that person.

• Destination weddings are a good option for second marriages where blended families are part of the picture because it takes the pressure off and everyone gets a vacation out of it.

— J.S.

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MAKING IT PERSONAL Local artists create customized ketubot and chupot

BY SUSAN H. KAHN

Three samples of made-to-order ketubot by local artists (clockwise from top) Marianne Aaron, Naphtali Weinstock and Nancy Schwartz Katz.

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Two of the defining features of a Jewish wedding are the ketubah and the chupah. The ketubah is a marriage contract that explains the material, conjugal and moral responsibilities of the husband to his wife. The chupah is a canopy under which the couple stands during the ceremony; it symbolizes the new home the couple will make together.

While these traditional symbols link modern couples to generations of Jewish brides and grooms, there are no Jewish laws dictating their appearance or size. Couples today can choose to personalize these elements, making them unique expressions of their own love story.

Numerous local artists have turned their talents to creating custom ketubot and chupot, which not only add beauty to a wedding, but also become meaningful keepsakes.

A

rtist Marianne Aaron of Lyndhurst has been making custom ketubot for over 30 years. The former fashion illustrator became fascinated with Hebrew calligraphy while she was teaching art in a religious school in West Hartford, Conn. After giving a calligraphy workshop, she was approached by the young rabbi of the temple to make a ketubah for his upcoming wedding.

The word ketubah means “written down,” Aaron

RED

is for love

BLUE

explains, and the document was devised as a safeguard for a wife, so that her husband could not abandon her without consequence.

The traditional ketubah still used today was written in 80 B.C.E. and is in Aramaic, the spoken language of Jews during that period. Since at least the 14th century, it has been customary to decorate the ketubah artistically and display it in the couple’s home.

Today, each stream of Judaism has a variation on the wording of the ketubah. The Orthodox text still includes references to the payment of “shekels for a virgin bride,” a phrase Aaron says causes many modern brides to bristle. The Reform text is more egalitarian; it emphasizes commitment and mutual responsibility. In addition to the Aramaic text, the ketubah may also include a translation in English or Hebrew.

Most of Aaron’s hand-painted ketubot are 20 in.-by-30 in. rectangles, but some are irregularly shaped. There is a precedent for this in history, she says, noting that it was customary for Persian Jews to tear the edges of the document into unusual shapes.

The “frame” enclosing the text might be a scroll, an open book, double intersecting rings, a Jewish star, or a hamsa (hand). Floral borders are also popular, often echoing the flowers that will be used at the wedding.

Aaron has also made several ketubot where the text is

is for purity

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framed by Frank Lloyd Wright-inspired designs.

A custom ketubah allows a couple to incorporate personally meaningful symbols into the design. These are often references to the colleges they attended, the city where they met, and the pastimes they enjoy.

“A couple marrying for the second time sent me photos of their children to add to the design,” says Aaron.

“Another couple sent song lyrics.”

N

ancy Schwartz Katz, who studied art at Parsons School of Design, creates both painted and papercut ketubot. The Beachwood artist made her first ketubah for college friends in 1992.

“I studied illustration, and I love telling stories,” she says. “The ketubah tells a couple’s story symbolically.”

Katz’s ketubot are typically 22 in. by 30 in., but she once made one in the style of an Agam painting that measured 3-1/2 ft. by 4 ft.

Engaged couples frequently request Judaic symbols – a Star of David, a spice box, a kiddush cup, cherubim, or the domes of Jerusalem. Tree motifs are also popular, says Katz, ranging from a traditional Tree of Life to a family tree. References to the couple’s secular lives, their personal history and the season of the wedding may figure into the ketubot as well.

While a couple can be as creative as they wish with embellishment, the artist is scrupulous about making sure the text is correct. Although she has made over 300 ketubot, Katz always sends the finished calligraphy to the officiating rabbi to be proofread.

C

leveland Heights artist Naphtali Weinstock began creating ketubot after making one for his own wedding. His document is bordered with palms and ivy. It features the sun on one side, the moon on the other and the earth centered above. Because his wife is Irish, he incorporated a Celtic symbol that stands for love, friendship and loyalty, along with several Stars of David. The calligraphy style is contemporary.

Weinstock suggests couples view designs on the Internet for inspiration and to help them crystallize their own design thoughts. He has found blue and white color schemes with gold illumination to be popular, as well as border designs that resemble Mediterranean tiles.

Couples have also asked Weinstock to include other calligraphy on their ketubah, perhaps a prayer or the quote “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine” from the Song of Songs.

Creating a ketubah is truly a labor of love, says Weinstock. “It’s a great honor to do these. This is what marries you.”

Couples desiring a custom ketubah should plan to meet with an artist six months prior to the wedding.

And budget-minded couples should be forewarned: Customized ketubot are expensive, running between $750-$1,200. However, grandparents or a group of friends are often delighted to give a couple such a personal, meaningful gift.

“Apart from the photos, other aspects of the wedding are ephemeral, but the ketubah survives,” says Aarons.

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Saundra Bohl created chupot using fabrics that have sentimental value to the bride and groom. â&#x20AC;&#x153;It may be the only piece of original art the couple has in their house for a long time.â&#x20AC;? s with custom ketubot, personalized chupot are another way to imbue a wedding with meaning.

Saundra Bohl has been creating custom wedding canopies for eight years. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The first question I ask couples is what they plan to

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do with the chupah after the wedding,â&#x20AC;? says Bohl, a resident of Shaker Heights. â&#x20AC;&#x153;That influences its dimensions and the choice of fabrics.â&#x20AC;?

Some couples expect the chupah to become a family heirloom, used at future weddings or as part of other Jewish rituals, such as a bris or baby naming. One bride and groom intended to hang the chupah as a canopy over their bed, and another wanted to use it as a decorative tablecloth.

Typically, chupot designed by Bohl have finished dimensions of 6 ft. by 7 ft. A thematic center design usually measures 40 in. square, a size Bohl says is â&#x20AC;&#x153;large enough to look significant at the ceremony but suitable for framing afterward.â&#x20AC;?

Couples often bring the artist fabrics that have sentimental value to them. One bride brought cloth representing four generations â&#x20AC;&#x201C; tablecloths from her two greatgrandmothers, one grandmotherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wedding gown, her motherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wedding gown, and her own bat mitzvah dress.

To fashion the chupah, Bohl took the dresses apart, cut them into squares, and made a quilt. This was then backed with one of the tablecloths. A cross-stitched medallion from the other tablecloth framed the central motif, an appliquĂŠd tree whose leaves were cut from other fabrics that had personal significance. Each of the corners was embellished with a row of the wedding gownsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; tiny covered buttons.

Typically, the center design of Bohlâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s custom chupot have appliquĂŠd or embroidered symbols. Sometimes she even hand-dyes fabrics to match the invitation or wedding

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Chupah by Linda Tirk has been used at six family weddings. color scheme.

Often a tallit, the traditional wedding gift of a bride to her groom, is incorporated in the chupah. When the tallit will be used for prayer following the wedding, Bohl has to be especially careful. “There can be no holes in the fabric,” she explains, “I have to use an extremely fine needle to separate the threads when I attach it to the background fabric.”

T

hirteen years ago, former CJN art director Linda Tirk made a chupah for her son’s wedding. Used at five subsequent family weddings, the delicate organza canopy bordered with Battenburg lace is well on its way to becoming a family heirloom. The Tirk chupah has a Jewish star design within a circle of lace. A quote from Song of Songs

is handpainted in Hebrew and English around the perimeter. On the underside, Tirk has added organdy ribbons with the names and wedding dates of each couple who has been married beneath it.

Tirk now creates custom chupot for others, and like Bohl, she often incorporates fabrics that have special meaning to the bridal couple. For a wedding last spring, she was asked to create a canopy that would echo a wedding invitation. In the center of this chupah, she painted a Jewish star surrounding a pale lavender lotus flower. The soutache-embroidered scalloped linen sides of the chupah came from tablecloths the groom’s mother had bought in Turkey. On the underside of this chupah, the artist sewed in an artifact from each of the couple’s parents.

“After I add fabric from this bride’s wedding gown and her husband’s dress shirt, the family plans to use the chupah again,” says Tirk.

The cost for a custom chupah runs between $500-$1,000, but both Bohl and Tirk have unique canopies available for rent. Bohl says she needs at least three months to complete a chupah, while Tirk suggests that planning begin six months prior to the wedding. ❤ For more information, contact: Marianne Aaron, 440-684-0788 Saundra Bohl, 216-751-0688 Nancy Schwartz Katz, 216-831-8315 Linda Tirk, 440-461-9388 Naphtali Weinstock, 216-271-4460

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034-039 #6 photographers

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Hot spots for bridal shots PHOTO / HERBERT ASCHERMAN, JR.

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Photographers share favorite settings for wedding pictures

BY DOUGLAS J. GUTH

PHOTO / POLLACK STUDIO

T

Local dramatic settings for wedding photos include, above, The Temple-Tifereth Israel at University Circle. Opposite page, clockwise from top, Severance Hall, Terminal Tower, and the Club at Hillbrook.

This past October, I was a groomsman in my friend Brian’s wedding party. After the ceremony, the wedding party packed into a stretch limousine and repaired to a community park in a suburb of Cleveland to meet the wedding photographer.

The park, however, was congested with a halfdozen other wedding parties, an assembly line of folks in tuxedos and expensive gowns. All were waiting for their turn to pose beside the same beautiful fountain.

Finding that perfect, uncrowded spot for your wedding pictures is no easy task, but the wedding photographers I spoke to about their favorite locations in Cleveland were kind enough to share some of their secrets. …

The Cleveland Museum of Art is a fine location to capture your special day, but it’s also one that everyone knows about. Divine Boutique & Photo Studio owner Divine Saleh turns instead to the lovely old stone-and-brick buildings of Gilmour Academy for her backdrop. “It’s so pretty there, and

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PHOTO / LCD PHOTOGRAPHY & VIDEOGRAPHY

034-039 #6 photographers

The Cleveland Museum of Art lagoon reflects a romantic photo choice.

the trees on campus give you a good foreground,â&#x20AC;? she says.

For warm-weather weddings, the beaches scattered along Lakeshore Boulevard are among Salehâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s favorite local spots. It might not be the Bahamas, she admits, but â&#x20AC;&#x153;if you catch a sunset on a perfect day, at least it looks like youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re somewhere tropical.â&#x20AC;?

Of course, Cleveland is known more for its mills and

factories than for its beaches. A gritty, â&#x20AC;&#x153;modern contemporaryâ&#x20AC;? industrial look can be beautiful if photographed correctly, Saleh believes. She has used loading docks and the gleaming industrial silver of downtown garage doors for many of her backgrounds. â&#x20AC;&#x153;It looks like youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re in a high-tech studio,â&#x20AC;? she notes.

Some of Clevelandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s architectural landmarks â&#x20AC;&#x201C; The Palace Theatre, the Cuyahoga County Courthouse, and

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Severance Hall, among other – can also be hot spots for your bridal shots, suggests Scott Gloger, owner of Myron Photographic Elegance.

Another is the Arcade, an intricate Victorian masterpiece of brass railings, marble banisters and grand staircases. Built in 1890, it now houses the Hyatt Hotel. The light streaming in through the dome above results in magnificent photo opportunities, Gloger notes. Couples can ask the photographer to shoot down at them from a balcony.

The Arcade is “the perfect rainy-day location,” agrees Jonathan Koslen, owner of New Image Photography. As for outdoor locations, he suggests taking advantage of the lakeside splendor of the Shoreby Club in Bratenahl.

The Club at Hillbrook in Chagrin Falls is “the most magnificent location in the city of Cleveland,” enthuses Herb Ascherman of Ascherman Photography. The location offers picturesque gardens, gates and paths. Their beauty is punctuated by a 15th century English manor house brought over from England and rebuilt stone by stone on a hill that slopes down into a copse of 150-yearold walnut trees.

Always have a plan for unpredictable weather, Gloger cautions. Even if you have a favorite outdoor spot, it’s wise to reserve a good indoor location. The County Courthouse, he says, can be reserved months in advance for $150-$200 and serves as a solid Plan B in case it rains on your wedding day.

When determining appropriate locales for wedding

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034-039 #6 photographers

artwork and special archiphotos, David Cartee of tectural elements.

LCD Wedding Videography & Photography tries to The Cleveland Play capture the personalities House and Severance Hall and hobbies of the bride are two of Pollack’s favorite and groom. places to shoot weddings in the city. He also enjoys the If the couple enjoys garclassic architecture of the dening, for example, region’s older synagogues, Cartee might have the couparticularly Park ple stop for a few pictures Synagogue and the “big, at a field of flowers growbeautiful dome” that caps ing along a road on the The Temple-Tifereth Israel way to the reception. If the in University Circle. couple likes to go camping, one of Cleveland’s When searching for Metroparks makes a fine attractive locations, look no backdrop, he says. further than Cleveland’s Cleveland’s iconic Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum skyline, says Michael Cartee also likes shootprovides a striking architectural backdrop for pictures.

Lichterman of Clifford ing at the Cleveland Norton Studio. The city skyCultural Gardens near the line and Lake Erie combine art museum at University Circle. “There’s a lot more variety than at the museum,” for a beautiful setting at Voinovich Park. he says. “It’s a little more unique.”

Nestled at the northern end of the East 9th Street Pier, some of the park’s numerous attractions include A couple’s personality can often best be captured at the steamship William G. Mather Museum, The home, notes photographer Joey Pollack of Pollack Studio. In this relaxed atmosphere, he’ll incorporate into Goodtime III cruiseship, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum, the Great Lakes Science Center, and his photography a home’s unique aspects, including its

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Cleveland Browns Stadium.

Lichterman also suggests locations that are meaningful to the couple, such as the restaurant where the groom proposed. One couple had some of their wedding photos taken at a tree near Gamekeepers Tavern in Chagrin Falls, the spot where they first met.

The best wedding pictures feed off energy and spontaneity, Lichterman remarks. He once got some candid shots of a wedding party enjoying themselves at a bar in the time between the wedding and the reception.

There’s nothing wrong with a formal picture taken at the bima (pulpit) of a synagogue that is holding your wedding, says Scott Gloger, but true creativity often takes place when couples allow photographers to “step out of the box. You’ll often find the perfect spot when you’re not looking for it.” ❤ For more information on wedding photography, contact: • Herbert Ascherman, Jr., 216-321-1283 • Best Image Photography & Video, 216-381-6395 • Divine Boutique & Photo Studio, 440-461-3568 • Clifford Norton Studio, 216-378-8000 • LCD Photography and Videography, 440-257-5392 • Myron Photographic Elegance, 216-765-1116 • New Image Photography, 216-464-8959 • NorthCoastPortraits, 216-694-3686 • Pollack Studio, 216-381-2001

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Reinventing the

HOPE CHEST Long before brides could register at local department or specialty stores for everything they needed to outfit a household, young girls would start collecting handembroidered linens, fine china and silver flatware to store in a hope chest. The chest symbolized a girl’s hopes for a future as a married woman.

Today’s brides and wives are reinventing this idea, creating hope chests to house fond memories – not necessarily dreams of marriage.

Shayna Trappenberg of Cleveland grew up storing precious family heirlooms in a cardboard box, but she longed for a cedar chest of her own. After her wedding in 2003, she and her husband Dan began an exhaustive search of antique stores and found a beautiful chest for Shayna to treasure.

Dan restored the piece and added a plaque with their names and wedding date on the inside. Shayna has since filled the chest with mementos of her grandparents, plus dried flowers, her veil and her husband’s handkerchief from their wedding.

“I always wonder who had the chest before me and why they don’t have it anymore,” muses Shayna. “I can’t to fill it with more special “I can’t wait wait things to pass on to my children.” to fill it with Barbara Corwin Franklin more special inherited her hope chest in things to pass 1958 when her great-uncle Alexander Ravitch passed on to my away. The hope chest originally belonged to Alex’s friend children.”

Kathryn Lewis (daughter of labor leader John L. Lewis) Shayna Trappenberg and was bought in China.

Kathryn gave Alex the chest when she moved from Virginia to New York; neither she nor Alex ever married.

Before Barbara inherited the intricately carved Chinese chest, it sat in her parents’ living room, where it served as a conversation piece and a chance to retell tall tales about her uncle.

Alex entertained lavishly in his home in Forest Hills, N.Y., and he filled the chest with a dowry any bride would envy: silver, embroidered linens, fine crystal and Wedgewood china. He promised Barbara that the chest and its contents would one day be hers.

Barbara and Earl, her husband of 36 years, now display Uncle Alex’s chest in their front hall and his tea service on the buffet in their dining room. His silver, crystal and china come out when they entertain.

“Holidays and festive occasions usually involve massive silver polishing,” she says, but “the task always makes me sentimental about my favorite bachelor uncle and the times we spent together.” ❤

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Is traditional them into their wedding American fare more to menus, says Jay your liking? Try it with a Leitson, co-owner of new twist. Ask your Café 56. caterer about creating International fare mini-hamburgers, miniThe popularity of hot dogs or tiny salads in sushi bars underscores a fried cheese cup. the trend for more exotEven the lowly spud ic food, Leitson notes. has turned into boutique “Ten years ago people fare. Mashed potatoes, could hardly spell sushi the ultimate comfort – now the word rolls off food, have found their everyone’s tongue,” he Delight your guests with an Epicurean table featuring cheese way into the wedding bufsays. These healthful, tortes, exotic fruits and vegetables and a variety of breads. fet line. bite-size pieces of fish “We prepare the or vegetables wrapped mashed potatoes with in sweet, sticky rice can kosher margarine and add toppings like imitation sour be found at weddings all over town.

Curry tables have also curried much favor lately with cream, caramelized onions, sautéed mushrooms, broccoli and gravy,” says Leitson. “It’s clear that mashed wedding couples, says John Saile, sales manager for potatoes bring back very pleasant memories.”

Fairmount Circle Gourmet.“This traditional Indian Presentation is everything feast features curried meats accompanied by various chutneys, vegetables, rice, and sauces,” he explains.

Food and drink at weddings can delight all the senses – especially the sense of sight. Caterers are pulling out If you can’t pick just one favorite internationallyall the stops when creating beautiful presentations for inspired appetizer, consider individual stations, each the cocktail hour. with its own theme: Chinese fried rice and mini egg rolls, Israeli hummus and pita, and Nordic lox and “We place our bite-sized sushi rolls on dark marble vodka, for example. slabs, glass blocks or mirrored squares and complete the

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scene with serene Asian art sculptures and plants,” says Leitson. “The presentation then becomes an art form.”

At Executive Caterers, an Epicurean table is often requested. This is a cold appetizer table featuring a robust pesto cheese torte, sun dried tomato pie and large Brie stuffed with fresh cherries. All this delectable fare is complemented with oversized, braided loaves of intertwined pumpernickel and rye bread; masses of purple and green grapes cascading from woven baskets; and a bevy of exotic multi-colored and textured fruits. Oddly shaped and seeded crackers set out on brightly hued trays pepper the area.

“Presentation of the food is just as important as the food itself,” says Michael Ferrara, designer and party planner at Executive Caterers. “I am constantly on the lookout for new containers and serving vessels.”

For a summer wedding, consider filling clear shot glasses with colorful, cold fruit soups in a variety of pastel colors. Or, work with your florist and your caterer to create a “caviar tree” with small, individual spoons filled with colorful caviar sticking out of a tall topiary.

Cheers!

As for drinks, martini bars are a popular potable trend. “Instead of hard liquor, couples are requesting flavored martinis,” Leitson says. “The dry martini made of gin, vermouth and orange bitters is definitely passé with the younger crowd. They prefer chocolate, watermelon or apple-pucker martinis.”

Giving martinis yet another twist, Leitson serves

them in stylish glasses festooned with neon glow sticks.

“Activate the neon light, and combined with the alcohol in the glass, (you) have a hypnotic stirring wand that makes everything glow.”

At Executive Caterers, a bartender can pour individual, flavored-liquor portions down an ice sculpture crafted like a luge slide. At the end of the run is an ice-coated glass, and … Voila! The icy drink is ready for the delighted guest.

Many caterers will help couples create their own “signature drink” for their wedding, perhaps a sweet “Chocolate Kiss Martini” or a “Josh and Jenny Gin and Tonic.”

For a more casual libation selection, consider offering your guests a variety of locally crafted microbrews in small glasses.

Despite all the latest food and drink trends, Leitson, who has been in the catering business a number of years, wryly notes, “A young couple just requested large baked, glazed salamis served on rye-bread rounds for their upcoming reception. Sometimes it is hard to improve on an old favorite.” ❤ For more epicurean ideas, contact: Anshe Chesed Fairmount Temple, 216-464-1330 Aqua Charter, 440-243-5141 Around Downtown Catering, 216-861-7522 Atria’s Restaurant & Tavern, 216-691-8950 B’nai Jeshurun, 215-831-6555

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WEDDINGS FEBRUARY 2005

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Café 56 Catering, 216-464-3090 Chagrin Valley Athletic Club, 440-543-5141 Charley’s Crab, 216-831-8222 Cleveland Botanical Garden, 216-721-1600 Contempo Cuisine, 216-397-3520 Executive Caterers at Landerhaven, 440-449-0700 Fairmount Circle Gourmet, 216-371-5058 Glidden House, 216-231-8900 Hawthorne Valley Country Club, 440-232-1400 Heinen’s Catering, 866-475-2371 INTERCONTINENTAL Hotel & Conference Center Cleveland, 216-707-4168 Mooreland, 440-525-7551 MOXIE The Restaurant, 831-5599 Mustard Seed Market & Cafe, 440-519-3600/330-666-7333 Nighttown 216-795-0550 Pickwick & Frolic Restaurant & Club, 216-241-7425 RED The Steakhouse, 216-831-2252 RENAISSANCE Cleveland Hotel, 216-695-5600 Sammy’s, 800-837-5899 Severance Hall/Musical Arts, 216-231-7421 The Catering Company, 216-283-1800 The Bertram Inn & Conference Center, 877-995-0200 The Oaks Lodge, 330-769-2601/800-922-5736 The Ritz-Carlton Cleveland, 216-623-1300 Unger’s Kosher Market, 216-321-7176 Wicked Woods Golf Club, 440-564-7960 Windows On The River, 216-861-1445

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books, 2approaches 2 to the perfect wedding Jewish Weddings: A Beautiful Guide to Creating the Wedding of Your Dreams. By Rita Milos Brownstein with Donna Wolf Koplowitz. Simon and Schuster. New York, NY. 2003. 176 pp. $30.00.

The Creative Jewish Wedding Book: A Hands-on Guide to New & Old Traditions, Ceremonies & Celebrations. By Gabrielle Kaplan-Mayer. Jewish Lights Publishing.

Woodstock, Vt. 2004. 252 pp. $19.99.

S

REVIEWED BY STEPHANIE GARBER

Sometimes you can tell a book by its cover, especially if the book is nonfiction and the publishers have portrayed its contents accurately on the dust jacket. Such is the case with two recent publications on Jewish weddings that address the subject from vastly different perspectives.

Rita Milos Brownstein’s Jewish Weddings: A Beautiful Guide to Creating the Wedding of Your Dreams is a visual feast. It is filled with pictures that depict every aspect of an elegant, fairytale-beautiful wedding. On view are exquisite wedding gowns, heavy with seed pearls and flowing tulle trains; tables gleaming with silver and crys-

tal and featuring topiary centerpieces; and “statuesque fantasy” wedding cakes, each “a work of art.”

Gabrielle Kaplan-Mayer’s The Creative Jewish Wedding Book takes a decidedly different approach, focusing on Jewish weddings with an alternative flair.

All text, Kaplan-Mayer’s book explains Jewish traditions and ceremonial customs and then offers a new spin on them for couples who want a little Jewish spice in their wedding – but not a full-blown Jewish feast.

A former graphic designer and art director for House Beautiful and Good Housekeeping, Brownstein’s artistic background shines on every page of her (truly!) beautiful Jewish Weddings. Her deep respect for traditional Jewish customs comes across clearly, beginning with her explanation of the mikveh, which “makes sex and intimacy both beautiful and holy within Jewish marriage,” and ending with the importance of keeping a kosher home.

Prefaced with a wedding planner that spans from a year before to the day before “The Day,” Jewish Weddings is comprised of five chapters. The first, “About Jewish

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Marriage,” includes the “timeless link” – a discussion on the history of Jewish marital traditions originating from biblical times. It also tells six beshert stories, including one about a couple (Margit Yosowitz and Howard Milos), Holocaust survivors who met on a ship traveling from Sweden to New York, who eventually ended up marrying and raising a family in Cleveland.

From the engagement party to the thank-you notes, and everything in between, Brownstein suggests elegant and innovative ideas to add ambience and flair to every detail.

Probably the most “fun” chapter in Jewish Weddings is “Real Jewish Weddings,” 40 pages of delightful photos that depict beautiful weddings for the 21st century. The seven showcased couples herald from cities on both coasts, as well as a Sephardic couple married in Venezuela. All streams of Judaism are represented, and Brownstein shows how each couple incorporated its own tastes and personalities to create its own unique, “magi-

cal” wedding.

Kaplan-Mayer begins her book with a sharply contrasting philosophy on all things wedding: Weddings now are overpriced, overblown “Broadway show(s)” with everescalating divorce rates, the author posits.

Brush off that fairy dust, says this pragmatic voice, and “... take a bold stand against an industry that says the entry to your marriage is about wearing the right dress, serving the fanciest food, and spending as much money as possible on all of it.”

The process of planning her own wedding inspired Kaplan-Mayer to undertake writing a book on the subject. While both she and her husband are Jewish, each had issues with some of the traditional Jewish wedding customs and practices.

To rectify those potential problems, Kaplan-Mayer writes, “When we encountered a tradition or text that didn’t feel right to me in terms of women’s equality, we explored it. When we struggled with ways to make language honor Fred’s (Buddhist) interpretation of God, we

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rewrote it.”

The book is a guide to help others who may feel similarly disenfranchised or distressed by aspects of traditional Judaism, including interfaith couples and gay and lesbian couples.

Throughout, Kaplan-Mayer explains the historical, religious background to various aspects of the Jewish wedding and then offers alternative suggestions that incorporate differing philosophies with a traditional touch.

In lieu of a traditional ketubah, for example, KaplanMayer suggests the couple write their own (literally, if they want to make it themselves), using the traditional version as a guideline but promising instead, for example, to “bring a sense of humor and playfulness,” or to “... love and respect you, our pets, our future children,” etc.

She also offers text for a Creative gender-neutral ketubah for Jewish same-sex partners that eliminates the terms “bride Wedding Book and groom” and is written withfocuses on out masculine or feminine pronouns. weddings Couples with children from a with an previous marriage may want to draft a “family ketubah,” outlinalternative ing promises and commitments flavor. of the blended parents and children, suggests the author.

Bedeken is another Jewish tradition with which the author feels some may take umbrage. “Many women – and men – have viewed the veil as a symbol of a woman’s being silenced in marriage,” asserts Kaplan-Mayer. But, she says, it can be given a contemporary meaning. At her own wedding, for example, the rabbi suggested the couple “take a moment ‘to really see one another.’” To make the ritual egalitarian, when the groom places the veil on the bride, she can place a kipa on his head, or they can forego the veil altogether and both don a kipa.

The ritual of circling the husband during the wedding ceremony is another area in which some tweaking could be done for those who feel it’s a sexist custom.

“Many people find it problematic that the bride would do the circling for all to see, while the groom just stood and watched,” Kaplan-Mayer explains. To “reclaim” the ritual, she says, couples can join hands and walk the seven circles together, or each partner can do three circles alone and then one together.

The Creative Jewish Wedding Book includes three extensive appendixes. The first is a compilation of book and online resources on everything from buying kosher wine and ordering Jewish wedding invitations to finding a rabbi to officiate at your wedding; that last includes the “Adventure Rabbi,” who specializes in wilderness weddings!

The second appendix includes a wedding planner that gives detailed guidelines from a year to a week before the wedding, a wedding task checklist, and tips for creating a “Wedding Website.” The third appendix entails three pages of alternative sheva brachot (seven blessings). ❤

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Jennifer Dolin Olsen and Andrew Olsen chose a cake with a majestic theme for their wedding.

A cake fit for a princess Our wedding cake was a reflection of our wonderful “royallike” relationship.

When brainstorming ideas with cake designer Phyllis Lester, we kept coming back to the idea that my then-fiancé Andy “always treats me like a princess.”

Our wedding on July 21, 2001, was a magical, majestic evening, and Phyllis created a masterpiece for us.

To decorate our four-tier cake, she created, with icing, colorful flowers like the ones Andy brought me every Friday since we started dating. The frosted trim on each tier was a series of hearts, signifying our love for each other. The top of the cake was crowned with an exquisite, edible castle, complete with a horse and carriage and a heart-shaped window with trellises of flowers draping down. A flag on top of one of the turrets of the castle said “Jennifer and Andrew.” We now have the castle stored in a display case.

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WEDDINGS THAT GIVE BACK Simcha tsedakah lets you share your nuptial happiness with others

C

BY LILA HANFT

Cathy and Irving finally got married. Although they’re only shallow caricatures of human beings (existing in Cathy Guisewhite’s comic strip “Cathy”), the couple has asked that in lieu of gifts, donations be made to a real-life charity that rescues pets.

Maybe they’re not so shallow after all.

Many of today’s brides and grooms are forgoing the traditional wedding gifts of china and crystal. Instead, they’re requesting donations to a favorite charity or setting up their own philanthropic funds.

They’re doing it because it feels good, because it’s a more meaningful use of the money, and because, on a day that’s entirely about them, it’s nice to think of others.

When John Herman, a Moreland Hills businessman, and his wife Laurie tied the knot a few years ago, they asked family and friends to donate to a philanthropic fund they’d established at the Jewish Community Federation of Cleveland in lieu of gifts.

“Laurie and I looked at each other and said, ‘We don’t really need anything,” he recalls.

The guests were thrilled with the request, “and we had the joy of giving” to others.

Weddings that give back The idea of “weddings that give back” speaks to modern Jewish brides and grooms who tend to marry later in life than nonJews. By the time they stand under the chupah, they may already own one, if not two, complete households full of stuff.

Wedding tsedakah (charity) also evokes a longstanding custom in Judaism: to remain mindful of the misfortune and sorrow of others, even in the midst of one’s happiest moments.

Opportunities for wedding tsedakah are numerous.

Wedding gowns can be auctioned for charity, and floral centerpieces can cheer senior-living centers the day after the wedding. Food, however, is more difficult to give away because of health and dietary restrictions.

There are lots of meaningful ways to donate money,

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CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS FEBRUARY 2005

too. Newlyweds can establish a fund to which their guests can contribute or use an online bridal registry where a portion of all purchases go to the charity of their choice. Couples themselves can become donors, giving charitable gifts instead of traditional gifts for the bridal party or favors for the guests.

Federation philanthropic funds For a charitable path that is both local and Jewish, consider establishing a donor-advised philanthropic fund in honor of your wedding, suggests Berinthia LeVine, director of philanthropic planning at the Jewish Community Federation of Cleveland.

Donor-advised philanthropic funds are easy to set up.

For as little as $100, a couple can open up a fund and name it whatever they’d like (“The Marc & Amy Levin Fund” or “Wedding Tsedakah Fund”).

You can advise the foundation to make grants to your chosen charities as long as they “fall within the broad mission of the Federation,” explains LeVine. Or, you can earmark the funds for an existing Federation program, such as Jewish Family Service or the Federation’s annual campaign.

People who donate to the fund in honor of your wedding will get a thank-you note from the Federation; you will get a report that a donation has been made and by whom (but not the amount of the donation, which is confidential).

Giving back on the Web These days, wedding tsedakah campaigns can be established with relative ease on the Internet.

If you’re interested in giving specifically to Jewish organizations, visit Mazon.org (an anti-hunger organization), SocialAction.com, or the Jewish Fund for Justice at www.jfjustice.org. All three offer inspiring descriptions of the simcha (joy) of wedding tsedakah and instructions for getting started.

At IDo.com and JustGive.com, couples can direct donations to their choice of literally hundreds of charities. Donors can also make contributions online.

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tion can be placed beside each guest’s place at the Another Internet option is WeddingChannel.com, reception tables. where couples establish a traditional bridal registry.

When someone buys a gift through the online registry, Donating flowers and gowns a donation is made to a charity of the couple’s choice.

There’s a little more effort involved in donating the Many well-known stores participate in the registry, tangible leftovers of your wedding, but many find it including Crate & Barrel, Pottery Barn, worthwhile.

Williams-Sonoma, Neiman Marcus and Wedding gowns can be mailed to the On a day Tiffany & Co. Making Memories Breast Cancer Letting your guests know Foundation (www.makingmemories.org), that’s Handling the logistics of charitable gifts which holds an annual sale in 25 cities is easier than you might think. Most entirely around the country, including Cleveland. couples include cards with donation Bridesmaids’ dresses in groups of three about you, instructions with their wedding invitations or more can also be donated. Proceeds or announcements. from the sales of the gowns help fulfill it’s nice to wishes for breast-cancer patients.

Brides and grooms who opt to give charithink of table donations in lieu of customary gifts Donating your wedding flowers will to members of their bridal party can also give you more immediate gratification others. distribute announcement cards to their than anything else. The residents and groomsmen and bridesmaids that detail the staff of Montefiore and Menorah Park who, what, where, why and how of their decision to welcome bridal bouquets, chupah flowers, and other donate. centerpieces. Neither Montefiore nor Menorah Park requires advance notice or preparation – just drop off Increasingly, donations are taking the place of wedfloral donations at their front desks. ❤ ding favors. In such cases, cards announcing the dona-

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“We’re the silent guest, behind-the-scenes, unobtrusive, quiet and gentle, who guides the bride and groom and their family through the day,” she says. “We keep all the service providers on the same page.”

By the time a bride hires a wedding planner, she’s typically looked through bridal magazines for months and has an idea of what she wants.

Coordinators “try to discover the bride’s vision, what are the family dynamics, who is special to her, what is important and how to make that shine through,” says Marsha Newman of The Perfect Choice.

Ideally, a wedding planner is hired a year in advance of the wedding.

But couples and their families can also hire a consultant at any part of the planning process.

Planners can recommend caterers, event venues, florists, photographers and bands with whom they’ve had good experiences. They will confirm all of the details of the wedding during the final week and put together welcome baskets in hotels for out-of-town guests, run the rehearsal, check spellings of names on table cards and keep track of the number of guests attending.

Or, a coordinator can be hired just to attend to the timetable on the wedding day itself and make sure everything runs smoothly.

The bride and her family may not have planned such a huge event before, says Amy Bilsky of Sherri ART / TMS

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The power blackout two summers ago, which darkened homes, synagogues and hotels from Cleveland to the east coast, no doubt wreaked havoc for many brides and grooms planning to tie the knot that weekend.

But one Cleveland couple’s wedding went off without a hitch, uh, problem.

Wedding planner Ginny Sukenik of GS Special Events borrowed a generator from a vendor for the rehearsal dinner, which was held at the then-powerless home of the bride’s parents.

The generator allowed the celebratory meal to go forward just as anticipated.

Wedding coordinators usually don’t have to deal with such extreme situations. Most of the time, these consultants work hard to make sure that mishaps don’t occur.

Many brides and grooms don’t have the time to attend to all the myriad details a wedding involves.

“When the week of the wedding comes, they want it to be stress-free,” says Sukenik. “The consultant comes in to make sure everything moves well so the bride and groom and their families can enjoy their guests and the wedding.”

An experienced coordinator knows when to introduce “highlight moments” of the wedding, like toasts, special bridal dances, or the cutting of the cake.

A consultant keeps the wedding flowing and on a high note, says Pat Butto of The Party People.

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but a planner should be able to head off these Foxman’s Party411.com. “We understand which small potential disasters. Pam Holliday of EventMasters touches will make a big impact.” recalls the cake baker who had written down the In fact, planners say they can even save the couple wrong date for a wedding. The bride had ordered indiand their families money. “We can suggest ideas they vidual cakes for each guest, decorated to look like haven’t thought of and locate less expensive venLimoges boxes. dors,” Bilsky says.

When the cakes didn’t arrive on time “Consultants understand the timing of at the hotel, and the baker could not be things,” says Newman, so the big day runs Couples can reached via phone, Holliday scrambled on schedule. to get the pastry chef at the hotel to Wedding planners usually charge a flat hire a make cheesecake for the reception fee. That fee can range from $600 to simply dessert. At that point, the cake baker wedding recommend vendors and consult twice finally called that the cakes were ready with the bride, to over $10,000 to plan the consultant for but not decorated. entire event and staff the rehearsal and Holliday and an assistant hopped into wedding day. any part of a limousine and headed over to help add Some coordinators will charge by the the planning beads and other finishing touches to the hour, roughly about $35 to $50. It can take cakes, which were completed in time for 200 to 250 hours to design and arrange a process. dessert. “It could have been a nightcomplete wedding, notes Newman. mare, but it turned into an okay situaWhile some wedding consultants get a tion,” says Holliday. commission from vendors they recommend Dvora Millstone of Shaker Heights hired Ginny to a bride, which may bias them toward particular Sukenik to coordinate her daughter Meka’s 2004 wedpurveyors, others say they never accept referral comding to Ajay Shroff. It was a complicated wedding, pensation. Asking the wedding coordinator about her Millstone says, that incorporated two ceremonies, one relationships with the service providers she recomJewish and one Hindu Indian. mends is a wise precautionary step.

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PHOTO/IMAGECHARDON.COM

PHOTO/ PAUL BODNAR

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Ginny Sukenik, right, coordinated the wedding of bride Jennifer Dinn.

Marsha Newman, left, planned the Dallas wedding of Heidi Dirnbauer and Clevelander Jeff Holz.

Pam Holliday, left, planned Wendy Weiss’s wedding.

someone there,” she recalls. “Hands had to be held all the way.”

The wedding reception menu featured Indian as well as American food, and additional china had to be rented that would be appropriate for the Indian fare.

A catering coordinator was brought in to facilitate the elaborate buffet.

A rabbi and a Hindu pandit officiated at the Jewish and Hindu ceremonies, respectively. The Hindu ceremony, which had to take place before sunset, went first. The Jewish ceremony followed after sunset.

With so many details, at times things went somewhat awry. “But during the wedding, I didn’t know about most of them,” says Millstone, “because Ginny handled every incident. I truly enjoyed my daughter’s wedding from the first minute in the morning to the last minute of the evening. The only thing I had to concentrate on was my daughter.”

Wedding coordinators can make a complicated affair look easy. And easy is something that anxious and over-stressed brides, grooms and their families, appreciate. ❤

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9 COST-SAVING TIPS

wedding coordinators suggest

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Reuse any flowers from the ceremony at the reception.

Use the cloths the reception site already owns, saving $50 per table on special linens. Instead, rent chair covers with bows, which, at a lesser cost, dramatically transform the look.

3 4

Candlelight, using inexpensive votives, helps to create a romantic, beautiful ambience.

For full bar service, a catering facility often charges a flat per-person fee, per hour. Serve hard liquor during the cocktail hour, but close the bar during dinner while wine is being poured. This can result in considerable savings.

5

Florists may suggest tall centerpieces, which can cost over $100 a piece for each table. Mix the pricey tall centerpieces with less costly low and mid-height arrangements.

6

Paying for liquor by the drink, rather than a flat charge per person, can save money if wedding guests are not big imbibers.

If the hotel includes dessert in its dinner package, asking to substitute an extra hors d’oeuvre for the dessert may provide better value. The wedding cake can be a sweet ending to the meal.

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Bands charge by the hour, so don’t hire them to start playing until after the dinner hour.

Booking an event facility for a Sunday can be cost effective. While many venues charge an expensive per-person minimum on a Saturday night, they’ll waive the minimum on a Sunday.

Wedding planners: • EventMasters, Pam Holliday, 216-514-7670 • GS Special Events, Ginny Sukenik, 216-765-3300 • Party411.com, Amy Bilsky, 216-514-8411 • The Party People, Pat Butto and Associates, 888-256-6655 • The Perfect Choice, Marsha Newman, 330-562-5353

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WINE WISH LIST

Your guests will sip in style with these likable kosher libations

BY ANDREW ZASHIN

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Fabulous wines make an ordinary occasion special and make a special occasion extraordinary! When planning a wedding, don’t leave your wine selection to chance. There are so many high quality kosher wines to choose from in Cleveland, that half the fun is sampling them before your big day.

Before trying kosher selections, determine whether you need both kosher and mevushal wine. Mevushal wines have been heated, usually “flash pasteurized,” to comport with halacha so that people other than observant Jews can open and serve the wine. This is a serious issue, as no kosher caterer will serve a nonmevushal wine.

A wine that is mevushal does not mean it is of inferior quality. In fact, some wine producers around the world (not all of them kosher producers) are experimenting with flash pasteurization techniques to stabilize the 58

CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS FEBRUARY 2005

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grapes prior to fermentation. Some say the process enhances a wine’s aromatic qualities.

Ironically, while it may be tempting to choose some fashionable Israeli bottlings for your simcha, these wines are often non-mevushal and thus are disqualified from the caterer’s kosher table. The mevushal designation is often written in Hebrew near the heksher (kosher certification) and can be difficult to find, so inspect your bottles carefully or ask for assistance from your wine merchant.

Red, white and bubbly Three broad categories of wines are particularly appropriate at a wedding: sparkling (always white or pink); still (non-bubbly) white, and red.

Sparkling wines, those that are naturally or artificially carbonated, are available in a number of varietals from bone-dry to sweet. These wines are often all called

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most renowned Chenin Blanc grapes in the world, is “Champagne,” but only sparkling wine from France’s often a prize-winner in the non-kosher wine press.

Champagne region can retain that moniker. Great bubblies, however, are produced throughout the world.

Another good option is a blended white, made from grapes like Emerald Reisling, Semilion and Sauvignon Even though the characteristics of these wines can Blanc. vary wildly, sparkling wines are usually considered among the most food- friendly. They are especially wellDon’t mess with big reds! suited to common wedding fare, pairing ideally with For those who insist on reds and only big reds, consushi, hors d’oeuvres, canapés and many chicken and sider varietals other than Cabernet Sauvignon, “King fish entrees.

Cab,” and the pretender to the throne, Merlot.

Don’t invite Chardonnay!

Sparkling Instead, a great choice is Zinfandel. Note Weddings are a perfect occasion for bringwines are that “Zin” is always red, and anything ing out your crisp dress whites! White called “White Zinfandel” is an imposter. wines, especially those that are more acidic, usually work well with most foods. Good sweet/tart Zin is big, bold and spicy. It is a great considered whites pair seamlessly with sweeter wedding grape from the USA, and its unusual taste among the fare like cake and other desserts. Even when makes it a winner with almost every selecpeople specifically ask for a “dry white,” tion that calls for a red wine. most foodthey typically mean a “not-too-sweet” white.

Another terrific choice is Syrah, from friendly.

Unfortunately, the most common wedding the Rhone Valley in France. (Syrah is usuwhite is a limp Chardonnay. This varietal is ally known as “Shiraz” when it hails from a relatively dry, mildly acidic wine and stodgy, far from the New World.) Like Zin, this wine also has a big, bold the best choice for your special day. The “Great Whites” flavor profile described as “peppery.” of Burgundy, France, are made from 100% Chardonnay Both of these choices are more interesting than the grapes, but these rare and expensive wines should be ubiquitous Cabs and Merlots. However, to hedge a bet, reserved for more intimate and contemplative settings. consider a Cab/Merlot blend. Such blends are not novel, Consider, instead, a woefully underrated Chenin and in fact, the great reds of Bordeaux are overwhelmBlanc from Israel or California; Israel’s Tishbi makes a ingly combinations of Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot, and great one available locally. Herzog’s Chenin Blanc from sometimes other red varietals.

Clarksberg, California, which produces some of the The cost of kosher mevushal wines varies. Although

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there is a nice selection of wines available in local stores, don’t be shy. If your preferred wine supplier does not stock exactly what you are looking for, ask him to bring in some different wines for you to try. Make the effort to find the wines that will make your special day fabulous! ❤ Clevelander Andrew Zashin is a trained chef and has been a wine collector for over 15 years.

Celebrate Your Simcha at The JCC!

For all of your kosher wine needs, contact: • Frank’s Hebrew Bookstore, 216-291-9847 • Jacob’s Judaic Book and Gift Center, 216-321-7200 • Merkaz Judaica, 216-595-0707 • Unger’s Kosher Bakery and Market, 216-321-7176

MEVUSHAL* wine suggestions

T

The JCC is the perfect place for your wedding, bar/bat mitzvah, baby naming, bris, other special event, or meetings and conferences. The Stonehill Conference Center provides a beautiful setting, from the glass enclosed entrance and corridor to the elegantly designed and fullyequipped ballroom. Our approved caterers will plan and prepare a kosher menu specifically for you. And talk about a convenient location, The JCC is truly the center of Jewish Cleveland, easily accessible to many hotels and major highways.

For more information and a viewing of the facility, please call Iris Lorber

(216) 831-0700, ext. 1313.

58918

Jewish Community Center of Cleveland

26001 S. Woodland Road, Beachwood, OH 44122 60

CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS FEBRUARY 2005

he kosher mevushal wines on this list vary in price, but you can’t go wrong with any of them. One caveat: Do not be concerned with vintage designations (the “year”) because most wines today are designed to be consistent year to year.

Sparkling wines: Rashi “Asti” (dolce), Italy – sweet sparkling wine, often maligned, but still fun and loved by many Bartenura Asti, Italy – sweet and fun to drink Carmel “President,” Israel – serious sparkling wine at a great price with a beautiful package, easy to drink Nicolas Feuillate (brut), Champagne, France – serious and more expensive Whites: Baron Herzog, Chenin Blanc, Clarksberg, California – great wine at a great price; terrific, slightly sweet/tart balance, hailed by wine critics, both kosher and nonkosher Tishbi, Chenin Blanc, Israel – lots of fun, good balance, and a nice price; works well with food Dalton, Canaan (white), Israel – blend of white grapes, has a sophisticated palate that is comparable to some non-kosher wines that cost a lot more Carmel, Emerald Riesling/Chenin Blanc – another well-priced, interesting wine from the largest Israeli producer Reds: Terra Salvaje, Malbec Merlot blend, Argentina – an uncommon but accessible wine at a nice price Teal Lake, Shiraz, Australia – deep purple and tannic, with notes of black pepper and chocolate Baron Herzog, “Old Vine” Zinfandel, Lodi, California – big and bold, with notes of berries and spice Dalton, Canaan (red), Israel – blend of Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot and sometimes another varietal, easy to drink and enjoy * Mevushal wines have been heated, usually “flash pasteurized” to comport with halacha so that people other than observant Jews can open and serve the wine.

— A.Z.

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Pairs of lovebirds

T he Catan Fashions Experience

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My husband David and I were married Sept. 4, 1957, at Temple Emanu El. I was 18 and David was 20; we were high-school sweethearts. For our unique wedding cake, the florist inserted between the tiers of the cake two live lovebirds in a cage. On June 9, 1985, our daughter Toni had lovebirds on her cake at her wedding to Cary Senders. (Our daughter Tiffany had a fake cake at her wedding because she wouldn’t eat cake!)

Judy Zwick Pepper Pike

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PHOTO / MYRON PHOTOGRAPHIC ELEGANCE

David and Judy Zwick, above, and their daughter and son-in-law Toni and Cary Senders, below, had live birds on their respective wedding cakes.

xclusive runway shows by elite designers, chandelier-clad ceilings, a quaint bistro with delicious pastries, sandwiches and salads, and 25 European seamstresses working diligently on a lasting gown detail are just a handful of the elements you are bound to encounter when visiting Catan Fashions. It’s not just a fashion salon, it’s a fashion experience!

This elaborate “fashion destination” is home to one of the top salons in the nation. Located just ten minutes south of the airport, Catan Fashions is one of Ohio’s finest and largest fashion emporiums. Specializing in bridal wear, evening wear, and prom, Catan’s offers the largest selection of dresses anywhere. Over 2,000 bridal gowns adorn their walls, including an exclusive couture room, decorated with the likes of designers most prominently revered in New York, California, and Chicago. A selection of nearly 1,000 bridesmaids gowns line the walls in a spacious department designed to accommodate any sized bridal party. They also have a new children’s department complete with tot-sized furniture and formal dresses perfect for any event. With over 4,000 prom dresses of all colors and sizes, any high school girl is sure to find a dress she loves! They even carry a full line of accessories, including headpieces and veils, shoes, purses, and jewelry.

Upon entering, one would never know that this 54,000 square foot facility was once a family-owned craft store.

But over the years, owner and operator Patrice Catan, has created a fashion Mecca rival of any other fashion salon in the country. Patrice’s dream was to build an establishment where women could spend an entire day browsing and dreaming about elegant formal wear designed specifically for them. Today, Patrice has made that dream a reality.

But what really separates Catan Fashions from your everyday salon is their exclusive in-store runway shows.

That’s right. Catan Fashions features fashion shows right in their store! Nearly every weekend, Patrice showcases a line of formal wear from a selection of her elite designers. People come from all over to enjoy these vibrantly orchestrated shows in the store’s 5,000 square foot runway show area. Catan’s state of the art lighting, sound system, and professionally choreographed shows make for an experience like no other. The runway area comfortably seats around 200 people with plenty of standing room. And not only can guests browse the rows of colorful dresses during the show, but one can even have a bite to eat! Bea’s Bistro, inside Catan Fashions, serves up tasty treats from pies to salads, coffee and tea. Even better, the large picture windows on the outside of Bea’s Bistro allows guests to enjoy a small snack while taking in the show! To add the finishing touch to this fashion experience, after the fashion shows, guests can try on any of the gowns seen in the show. No where else can you find such a magnificent affair right in the greater Cleveland area!

ADVT

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Princess Brides

Clockwise from left: A-line gown in double-face silk satin with crystal straps and crystal trim at waist seam by Wearkstatt; strapless A-line lace Carolina Herrera gown with ribbon criss-cross detail on bodice; ivory silk satin organza gown with doublefaced satin ribbon straps and colorful embroidered sash by Watters Brides.

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Clockwise from top left: Ivory silk satin gown with hand-embroidered neckline by Watters Brides; ivory silk satin organza strapless gown with sweep train and ivory hand-crocheted ribbon shrug jacket with 3/4-length sleeves

by Watters Brides; off-the-shoulder, slim ball gown in silk duchess satin by Wearkstatt features scallop waist seam and buttons down the back.

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Strapless, dropwaist ball gown with box pleat.

By Judd Waddell.

Wearkstattâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s double-face silk charmeuse V-neck gown with beading at neckline.

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White silk-face satin modified trumpet gown with panel train and empire waist features silver embroidery and rhinestone and crystal beading. By Christos.

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Georgette sheath with V neckline and cut crystal accents on the bodice. By Alfred Sung.

Strapless, drop-waist Carolina Herrera gown with gathered sweetheart neckline and ribbon detail on bodice.

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Clockwise from left: Reem Acra drop-waist strapless ballgown with crystal beaded bodice; satin-and-lace gown with gold lace jacket and chapel train

by Alfred Sung; ivory net gown by Christos features green silk taffeta at bodice, natural waist and hemline with Alenรงon lace accents.

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Jonathan and Robin Siff chose to have a small wedding cake on every table as a centerpiece.

The more cakes, the ‘marry’er!

My husband Jonathan Siff and I met in June 2002 at a Jewish singles’ event. We went on our first date exactly one month later and became engaged ten months after that.

Seven months later, on Feb. 15, 2004, we were married.

For those seven months, I had many decisions to make about the wedding, including, of course, the cake.

Our baker Laura, from Wild Flour Baker, explained that we could choose a round cake or square, white or chocolate frosting, icing or fondant, and two, three or four layers. The cakes’ designs were just as varied – small dots, circles, lace patterns, etc.

Since I loved all of the options, I decided to have them all! Instead of having one, large traditional cake, I chose to have a cake on every table as a centerpiece.

We picked five décor themes and five different cake flavors. I chose flavors that our family members loved: chocolate cake for my dad, carrot cake for Jonathan, and chocolate chip cake for me, a flavor the bakery had never created before.

The cakes were a big hit. Since I had spread the word about the variety of flavors, the guests moved from table to table to sample all the choices. Lots of cake was left over, so our close friends and family took the extra centerpieces home to enjoy.

Robin Proper Siff Solon

Th eU lti ma te

In

EAST

23860 Miles Road

gs rin e ov rC o Flo WEST

13513 W. 130th

Miles Road at I-480

at Rt. 82

216.662.5550

440.877.2100

2003

The Floor Show Family Team

Austin, Lance, and Jason Calvetta

MEMBER OF CLEVELAND

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GOOD ‘GROOM’ING His duties in a traditional Jewish wedding

I

In many cultures, the only duty of the prospective groom is that he show up at the wedding ceremony. In a traditional Jewish wedding, the groom, or chatan, has much more responsibility.

On the Shabbat morning before the wedding, the groom is called up to the Torah, and after the reading, he receives the congratulations of the congregation. This tradition is known in Ashkenazic Judaism as the aufruf. It harks back to First Temple times when King Solomon built a special gate to the Temple through which prospective bridegrooms would enter and receive the good wishes of the crowd.

With the destruction of the Temples, the rabbis instituted the aufruf.

At the conclusion of his Torah reading, the bridegroom is showered with nuts or bags of wrapped candies as symbols of a good and sweet marriage. Children in the congregation then rush to scoop up the candy sacks. One forwardthinking chatan, whom I observed, put on a motorcycle helmet after the Torah reading to protect himself from the candy bombardment. This is not a wedding custom – yet.

On the day of the wedding, it is customary for both the bride, or kallah, and groom to fast until completion of the wedding ceremony. The primary reason for this is that

PHOTO / CHRISANN TORTORA / BECK EVENTS

BY HERB GEDULD

During the groom’s tish, the ketubah is read and then signed by the groom and two witnesses. their wedding day is compared to Yom Kippur, when a person is given a new lease on life and all previous sins are forgiven. As part of the mincha amidah on their wedding day, the bride and groom recite the vidui (confessional) prayers.

The bride and groom are treated like royalty at their wedding. The bride is seated on a throne-like chair where

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A:

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she receives the good wishes and blessings of her guests.

The groom presides over a tish with a gathering of friends and relatives in a room separate from the bride. The table is laden with food and drink for the guests. But apart from feasting and toasting the groom, a number of important wedding functions take place at this time.

First, the tenaim (conditions) betrothal document is read.

Then the mothers of the bride and groom grip an earthenware china plate (usually wrapped in a cloth napkin), and together they break it over a chair, signifying the destruction of Jerusalem, some say, or the breaking of childhood ties. This ancient ceremony, part of the nisuin, was originally a separate ceremony but is now done on the wedding day.

Next, the ketubah is read by the presiding rabbi and signed by the groom and two witnesses. Prior to signing, the witnesses must observe the symbolic acceptance of the ketubah by the groom by taking a piece of cloth, handkerchief, or some other object from the rabbi, lifting it, and returning it.

After the signing of the ketubah, the groom often tries to deliver a scholarly discourse to the assembled guests. This is interrupted by singing and general merriment so as not to embarrass any groom who is not capable of presenting such a speech.

Singing and clapping, the groom’s friends lead him to the room where the kallah is enthroned. There he performs the bedeken ceremony by placing a veil over the kallah’s face.

This is to make sure the bride is his betrothed and not switched, as Leah was for Rachel in the Genesis story of Jacob’s marriage. The bedeken ceremony is usually omitted in Sephardic weddings.

After the bedeken, the groom is led away from the bride to begin the wedding ceremony. In some communities, ashes are placed on the groom’s head as a symbol of mourning for the Temple.

Guests enter the wedding ceremony and are seated, women on one side and men on the other. Finally, the groom is led to the chupah by his escorts, or shoshvinim (usually his parents), each of whom holds a candle. The custom of shoshvinim, according to the Midrash, dates back to the wedding of Adam and Eve when the angels Michael and Gabriel escorted Adam to his marriage canopy.

The custom of holding candles has a number of sources.

When Israel was “wed” to G-d at Mt. Sinai, for example, the ceremony was accompanied by lightning. Moreover, the numerical value for the Hebrew word for candle, ner, is 250.

Double this to correspond to the two candles held by two escorts and you get 500, which is the same numerical value as the Hebrew words peru-u-revu, be fruitful and multiply, the standard blessing for all newly married couples.

In many traditional weddings, the groom wears a white robe, or kittel, similar to that worn on Yom Kippur. White is symbolic of purity, and on his wedding day the groom has been cleansed of all his sins.

The groom has two more important tasks under the chupah. He places a ring on the bride’s finger and declares, “Hare at m’kudeshet le b’tabat zu b’kidat Moshe v Yisrael” (“Behold, you are consecrated to me with this ring in accordance with the laws of Moses and Israel”). He can either recite it from memory or repeat it after the officiating rabbi.

Just before leaving the chupah, the groom breaks a glass (or light bulb) wrapped in a cloth to symbolize the destruction of the Temple. His tasks completed, the happy couple leaves the chupah among shouts of “Mazel Tov!” ❤

PHOTO THOM ABEL

068-069 #18 groom

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FEBRUARY 2005 CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS

69

070-071 #20 reading & RR

2/2/05

5:39 PM

Page 2

Getting creative with kiddusha

I

Make your Jewish wedding ceremony personal

BY MARGI HERWALD

In addition to including the “basics,” many couples today are looking to make their wedding ceremony uniquely their own.

“In addition to the traditional recital of standard Hebrew vows, I have all my couples write personal vows,” says Rabbi Edward Sukol of Congregation Bethaynu (Conservative). “It not only personalizes the ceremony, it adds to the sanctity of it. Some couples write a few sentences or write one vow they both say. Some write a few paragraphs and some write poems. They’re usually filled with humor and real-life stuff.”

“A lot of times couples want to involve their relatives or closest friends in the ceremony,” says Cantor Kathryn Wolfe Sebo of The Temple-Tifereth Israel (Reform), who officiates at many weddings both together with rabbis and on her own. One way to incorporate loved ones is to pick seven special people and have them read the English translation of the sheva brachot after the rabbi or cantor has recited or chanted the Hebrew.

Many couples add readings or songs to their ceremony.

It is important, clergy members note, to place these “extras” before the religious ceremony begins. The vows and the actual process of uniting two people in marriage should not be interrupted.

Something as simple as incorporating instrumental

music into a ceremony can add a personal touch. And, contrary to popular belief, there is no law that says you have to set your processional to Pachelbel’s “Canon.” Use a favorite love song, even a modern pop song, but played by strings, harp and/or piano.

If the couple has close friends or family who are professional singers, asking them to perform adds beautiful music and a personal connection. Any song that has memories for the couple becomes the perfect wedding addition when sung by a loved one.

For those looking for Jewish readings to add to the ceremony, Sukol recommends checking out Song of Songs, sometimes referred to as The Song of Solomon, a book filled with biblical musings on love. It also contains many readings that are appropriate for interfaith weddings.

Sukol also steers Jewish couples to the Talmud for meaningful quotes to weave into their vows. In particular, he mentions one that says, if a husband and wife have shalom bayit (peace in the home), “their bed can be as narrow as a blade of grass, and yet it is sufficient.”

Sometimes the absence of speech is the most profound.

Cantor Sebo will occasionally include a moment of silence in the wedding ceremony for everyone to “offer their own prayer of blessing for the couple. It creates a nice feeling.” ❤

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CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS FEBRUARY 2005

FAX

070-071 #20 reading & RR

2/1/05

5:43 PM

Page 3

My husband Peter Brown was not very concerned with the nitty-gritty details of our Feb. 20, 1999, wedding. He did have two requests however: 1) no tomatoes or olives in the Caesar salad and 2) a groom’s cake.

Since he is a radio talk-show host, my mom’s dear friend Jessica Levine created a groom’s cake for him that looked like a radio control panel. And Peter loved his cake – it was chocolate, his favorite.

Laurel Bravo Brown Northbook, IL

PHOTO / NEW IMAGE PHOTOGRAPHY

A controlling cake

Laurel and Peter Brown

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CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS FEBRUARY 2005

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WEDDINGS

Rosh Hash ana 59962

074

075 RR

2/3/05

9:43 AM

Page 1

A beachy-keen cake Our wedding cake had a wonderful, nauticalinspired, three-tier design created by Alison Kudera. We chose this design because our June 19, 2004, wedding was held at Mentor Harbor Yachting Club, and my husband Martin and I enjoy most things “marine.”

The bottom tier was chocolate, representing the earth. This tier was frosted in sand-colored icing to represent the beach and was decorated with seashells made of frosting.

The middle tier was white cake, frosted in blue with white waves and sailboat accents, representing the sea. The top tier, made of strawberry cake, represented the sky and was frosted in yellow and orange with seagull accents.

Topping the cake was a charming white and black striped lighthouse, complete with a cozy lighthouse keeper’s home and small frosted yard and landscape.

You could not ask for more in a wedding cake!

Nora Snyder Euclid

Nora and Martin Snyder loved their nautical-theme wedding cake.

FEBRUARY 2005 CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS

75

076-077 #30 planner

2/3/05

10:49 AM

Page 2

WEDDING COUNTDOWN

8

months before

12

months before

10

• Send out a “Save the Date” card – especially if you’re marrying during holiday season or having a destination wedding.

• Reserve block of hotel rooms for out-of-town guests.

• Shop for your dress. Leave enough time for several fittings.

• Register for gifts at your favorite stores.

• Interview and hire vendors: caterer, photographer, videographer, florist and band or DJ. • Consider dance lessons, or have a pro choreograph your first dance.

76

CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS FEBRUARY 2005

PHOTOS / TMS

• Meet, call or e-mail important friends and family with the big news of your engagement.

• Make an appointment with your rabbi and decide on a date.

(Certain dates are off limits for Jewish weddings.)

• Research ketubah or chupah designs.

• Invite close friends and relatives to be members of the wedding party.

• Compile your guest list and start gathering addresses.

• Agree on a wedding budget with your families.

• Start researching ceremony and reception locations.

• Make a Web page to announce your wedding.

• Visit reception sites, and plan to put down a deposit.

• Consider hiring a professional wedding planner.

• Begin shopping for wedding rings.

• Ask friends to recommend photographers, florists and bands.

months before

• Send your engagement announcement to the CJN. • Hire musicians for the ceremony.

• Create a must play/don’t play song list for the reception.

6

months before

• Shop for groom’s and groomsmen’s formalwear.

• Settle on a honeymoon destination.

If foreign documents, passports or inoculations will be needed, get those now.

• Order bridesmaids’ dresses. Find a style that flatters all the attendants.

3

months before

• Order kipot for guests.

• Collect ritual objects you will need for the ceremony and reception – perhaps a kiddush cup from a grandparent. Offer relatives an honor like blessing the challah or reading a prayer.

• Order invitations and thank-you notes.

• Order your wedding cake.

• Meet with the caterer to determine final menu and serving details.

• Enjoy being the center of attention and keep up the enthusiasm at all your pre-wedding parties! (Be kind to single friends.) Have a token gift for the host(s).

• Hire transportation for the wedding day.

076-077 #30 planner

2/3/05

10:42 AM

Page 3

2

months before

• Mail invitations. Number the RSVP cards on the back to correspond to your guest list.

• Make final honeymoon reservations.

• Buy gifts for parents, attendants and each other.

• Book appointments for wedding day hair and makeup.

• Plan the rehearsal dinner for the bridal party and out-of-town guests.

1

month before

• Schedule an aufruf and time to go to the mikveh.

• Create a wedding program, if you are having one, explaining the meaning of Jewish traditions you are including.

• Notify your banks and insurance companies that you are getting married. If you are changing your name and/or address, start collecting the documents you will need to make this change.

• Apply for a marriage license.

• Have final wedding dress fitting.

2

weeks & counting

• Call guests who haven’t responded.

• Confirm details with all vendors, photographers, rental companies, lighting, florist, musicians, etc.

• Give a must-take photo list to the photographer.

• Practice writing your Hebrew name if you are the bride, groom, or ketubah signers.

1

week before

• Give reception site a final head count.

• Create a reception seating chart and write out place cards.

• Arrange for your chupah to be set up before the ceremony.

• Pick up bride’s gown and groom’s tux.

1

day

before

• Write any necessary checks for your vendors.

• Attend the rehearsal dinner, and present gifts to the wedding party.

• Eat a big meal if you’re fasting tomorrow, and get a good night’s sleep.

on the wedding day

• Present parents with a gift – or at least a big hug and kiss.

• Give the best man/maid of honor your wedding bands.

• Remember to enjoy yourself.

• Send your wedding announcement to the CJN as soon as you get your pictures back!

Courtesy of Tribune Media Service with additional reporting by Ellen Schur Brown.

FEBRUARY 2005 CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS

77

078-081 #12 brunch

2/2/05

5:59 PM

Page 2

FAREWELL BRUNCH for bride, groom and guests

S

BY JOAN KEKST

Since the days when Abraham welcomed the three strangers to his tent, hospitality to one’s guests is a longstanding Jewish tradition. Following the formal events of a wedding, a morning-after brunch is a wonderful way for the bride and groom to say farewell to out-of-town family and friends. A brunch held at a home provides the ultimate in warmth and hospitality, allowing time for guests and family to savor the wedding a little longer.

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CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS FEBRUARY 2005

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078-081 #12 brunch

2/2/05

6:00 PM

Page 3

Bruschetta (Pareve) 1 loaf Italian bread, sliced 1-inch thick 4 cloves garlic, minced 4 T olive oil 1/2 C red onion, finely chopped 2 lbs fresh plum tomatoes, seeded & chopped pinch of sugar 1 T fresh oregano leaves, minced (or 1/2 t dried) salt and pepper to taste 2 T parsley leaves Cut bread slices in half; add half of minced garlic to 2 tablespoons olive oil and brush on bread slices. Arrange on cookie sheet and toast under broiler until golden brown. Set aside.

In large sauté pan, heat 2 tablespoons olive oil and sauté onion until limp. Add remaining garlic and tomatoes; simmer 5 minutes or more to evaporate juices.

Remove from heat. Add pinch of sugar and oregano; season to taste with salt and pepper. Cool. Spread on toasted bread just before serving and garnish with a few parsley leaves.

Three-Cheese Wafers (Dairy) 1 C coarsely grated Swiss cheese (low-fat may be used) 1/2 C Parmesan cheese, grated 1/2 C Boursin cheese Cayenne pepper or paprika to taste Combine Swiss and Parmesan cheeses with a fork in small bowl. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Spoon 24 mounds of cheese mixture on each pan; spread each into 1-1/2-inch circle or oval shape. Bake about 10 minutes until golden and crisp. Remove to rack until cool and firm. Spread one side of each cheese wafer with Boursin cheese; top with second cheese wafer.

Garnish with dash of cayenne or paprika. Makes 24 appetizer wafer sandwiches.

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FEBRUARY 2005 CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS

79

2/3/05

1:46 PM

Page 4

Gravlax (Pareve) 2 salmon filets (total 5-6 lbs); cleaned and de-boned 1/2 C sugar 1/3 C kosher salt 3 T coarsely ground white pepper 1 bunch fresh dill (reserve some for garnish) Prepare gravlax three days before serving. Rub flesh of both salmon fillets with half of each the sugar, salt and pepper. Cover entire surface of one filet with dill.

Place fleshy sides of filets together. Slide salmon into large plastic bag; fold over top and place in ceramic dish.

Set smaller dish on top; weight with a few heavy cans and refrigerate 48 hours. Turn every 12 hours. Remove and taste; allow to continue curing one more day to improve flavor. Gravlax is cured, not cooked.

Remove filets; scrape away dill and cracked pepper; pat dry. Slice thinly at an angle almost parallel to the board. Serve with mustard sauce (recipe follows) and pumpernickel bread slices. Can be made into canapés two hours ahead for a large crowd. Keep refrigerated up to one week.

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Mustard Sauce (Pareve) 2 T honey mustard 1 T Dijon mustard 1 T sugar Table salt and freshly ground pepper to taste 1 T white vinegar 1/2 C vegetable oil 1/2 C fresh dill, chopped Combine first five ingredients; slowly whisk in oil; add dill. Makes one cup.

Potatoes with Blue Cheese (Dairy) 12 small potatoes, white or red skins 1/4 C crumbled blue cheese salt and pepper to taste minced chives to garnish Scrub and boil potatoes covered in salted water until soft but still firm. Drain and cool. Cut potatoes in half and remove small slice from the bottoms so they stand up. Scoop out center of potatoes, leaving 1/4-inch shell.

Reserve scooped-out centers.

Blend blue cheese with scooped-out potatoes in bowl.

Season to taste with salt and pepper. Fill each potato with cheese-and-potato mixture. Place on greased baking sheet; lightly cover with plastic wrap if heating later.

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Bake uncovered 8-10 minutes until hot; garnish with chives.

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CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS FEBRUARY 2005

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078-081 #12 brunch

2/2/05

6:01 PM

Page 5

Mushroom and Spinach Frittata (Dairy) 2 lbs fresh spinach, or 2 pkg frozen, thawed and drained 3-4 T olive oil 4 large leeks; wash and thinly slice white only 1 T garlic, minced 1 red bell pepper, trimmed and diced 1 lb mushrooms; separate caps from stems and slice caps 1 C bread crumbs, divided 8 large eggs, room temp.

1/4 C half-and-half cream kosher salt and pepper to taste 2 C white cheddar cheese, shredded 1 C cream cheese, cubed 1/2 C parsley leaves Rinse, trim and coarsely chop fresh spinach leaves.

Heat 1 tablespoon olive oil in large heavy skillet on medium-high heat. Add 1 teaspoon garlic and spinach leaves with moisture clinging to the leaves. Toss and sauté quickly until wilted. Drain in colander.

Add 1 tablespoon olive oil to same pan; sauté leeks 2 minutes; add remaining garlic and red pepper; cook 4-5 minutes until softened. Put in colander to drain. Add remaining olive oil to pan; sauté mushroom stems 1 minute; add mushroom cap slices, and sauté until limp (about 2 minutes). Increase heat and evaporate any juices. Add to colander to drain.

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Oil 9-by-13-inch ovenproof pan; sprinkle with 1/4 cup bread crumbs; set aside. In large bowl, beat eggs, cream, salt and pepper until light and fluffy. Press excess moisture from vegetables; toss with 3/4 cup bread crumbs. Stir into egg mixture with cheddar cheese, cream cheese and 1/4 cup parsley. Pour into prepared pan and bake until firm (about 1 hour).

Cover with foil if frittata browns too much. Sprinkle with remaining parsley; cool 10 minutes. Cut into 12 squares to serve. Can be made one day ahead; reheat in 325-degree oven.

Orange and Olive Salad (Pareve) 2 T lemon juice 1 t Dijon-style mustard 1 garlic clove, mashed salt and pepper to taste 1/2 C olive oil 1-2 large bunches Romaine lettuce, torn in pieces 1/2 C thinly sliced scallions 4 large navel oranges, peeled (remove pith; slice crosswise) 1/2 C Kalamata olives, pitted Place lemon juice, mustard, garlic, salt and pepper in food processor. Activate 15 seconds. With processor running, pour in slow, steady stream of olive oil. Transfer to large salad bowl.

Toss lettuce and scallions in bowl with dressing.

Arrange orange slices and olives on top. Serve chilled.

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81

2/3/05

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Lemon Bars (Pareve or Dairy) (adapted from Cuisine At Home) 1/2 C sliced almonds, toasted; divided 3/4 C flour 1/3 C confectioner’s sugar 1/4 t table salt 6 T unsalted butter or pareve margarine Filling: 1 C sugar 1/4 C flour 3 eggs 1/2 C fresh lemon juice (2 large or 4 small lemons) 2 t lemon zest, grated confectioner’s sugar for dusting lemon slices and mint to garnish Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line 8-inch square pan with foil. Toast almonds in skillet over medium heat 3-5 minutes. Reserve 3 tablespoons to top crust; chop remaining almonds.

Mix together flour, sugar, salt and chopped almonds.

Cut in butter or margarine with a fork until mixture is dry and crumbly. Press into pan; sprinkle with reserved almonds and bake until edges are golden (20-25 minutes).

Meanwhile, prepare filling. Combine sugar and flour; whisk in eggs. Add lemon juice and zest. Pour over warm crust and dust with confectioner’s sugar. Bake 1820 minutes until center is firm. Cool completely on rack.

Lift from pan in the foil. Dust with confectioner’s sugar and cut into small squares. Can garnish.

Black Forest Cheesecake (Dairy) 3 C chocolate wafer crumbs, finely crushed 1/4 C unsalted butter or margarine (1/2 stick), melted and cooled 16-oz can pitted, dark sweet cherries, drained 2 T kirsch 1-1/2 lb cream cheese, softened 1 C sugar 3 large eggs, room temp.

1 C sour cream 5 oz semi-sweet chocolate, melted and cooled In medium bowl, stir together 2 cups wafer crumbs and butter or margarine with fork until mixture resembles coarse meal. Pat mixture on bottom and partially up sides of 10-1/2-inch springform pan; set aside. Preheat oven to 275 degrees.

In small bowl, soak cherries and kirsch 30 minutes.

With electric mixer, beat cream cheese until fluffy; slowly add sugar, beating until well combined. Add eggs (one at a time), sour cream and melted chocolate; combine well. Gently fold in cherry mixture and pour onto crust.

Bake cheesecake in center of oven 60-75 minutes or until center is set. Turn off oven and leave cake in oven.

Sprinkle remaining 1 cup wafer crumbs over cake; prop door open slightly; let cake stand one hour.

Cool cake to room temperature. Chill, loosely covered with foil, several hours or overnight. Remove side of pan; cut in 12 or more wedges with knife dipped in hot water. ❤

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ART / TMS

he bride an t t s a o dg t o t roo w m Ho

A

Wedding speech should prompt cheers and tears without the jeers

BY TED S. STRATTON

As a valued friend or relative, you have been asked to give a toast at a wedding. Knowing your notoriously weak public-speaking talents, your first reaction is a fight-or-flight response.

Since it probably wouldn’t be a good idea to kidnap the bride, and you know you have to show up at the wedding, it’s time to start examining your other options.

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Short and sweet Noted raconteurs Vic Gelb and Norman Wain both agree (as did Shakespeare before them) on the most important maxim of a good toast: Brevity is the soul of wit.

“Keep it short, and do it while you’re sober,” quips Gelb, who adds that the best time to make a toast is during the meal, when people have had a little some-

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thing to nosh. That way they won’t be grumpy when you counsels. “Use current events and make it personal.

Bringing yourself into the story always works.” regale them with your well-conceived tale.

Talking Torah Wain himself knows a little something about humor – his son David is a professional jokester – but he cautions At Jewish weddings, it’s becoming more and more popagainst trying to be too funny in your toast. The humor ular to put a little d’var Torah (Torah lesson) in your should arise naturally from the situations and toast. Rabbi Joshua Caruso of Anshe Chesed people, he says, and the jokes should not be Fairmount Temple says he has been asked to The most rehearsed or canned. do this more times than he can count, but he important is never at a loss for words.

“I have seen some horrible situations where people try to be funny and they go on too long,” so much in the ‘Song of Songs’ maxim of a and“There’s warns Wain. “Remember, the stars of the show the liturgy” that you can quote from, are the bride and groom. To use that as an occa- good toast: says the rabbi, especially using imagery of sion to show people how clever you are is in bad the Shabbat kallah, or Sabbath bride.

‘Brevity is taste.”

There is also a wealth of sayings about the Club rules union between the husband, wife and God, the soul “but not all of them are unconditionally posPerhaps speaking to a small group beforeof wit.’ itive,” warns Caruso. hand would help you get over your fears, says Linda Gruenspan, head of the Positively Don’t make the mistake Rabbi Caruso Speaking Toastmasters Club in Beachwood. Her group observed recently at one of his rabbinical colleague’s specializes in extemporaneous or off-the-cuff public weddings. “The best man divulged more private informaspeaking. tion than he would have liked” in his toast, and some of “As with any speech or toast, you first want to hit them the groom’s congregants were quite surprised. with something that will get their attention,” says “You have to keep a level of shalom bay’it – peace in the Gruenspan – perhaps an exclamation like “You finally house,” notes Caruso. made it!”

It’s a great honor to be asked to participate in a wedGruenspan recommends practicing your toast in front ding, so write a short speech, rehearse it diligently, and of a mirror. It’s also okay to look over the audience’s head confidently raise a glass – l’chaim – to the bride and if you feel nervous, “but it’s best to use eye contact,” she groom. ❤

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WEDDING GOWNS

to flatter every figure

BY RAE A. PHILLIPS

A gown with a halter top helps minimize the bustline.

/ ALF RED SUN G PHO TO

PHO TO /

CH RIS TOS

With additional reports from Jennifer Slate Grischkan

A gown with a side-swept, gathered bodice flatters the fuller-figured woman.

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For a dramatic look on the bima, choose a lavish gown with an ornate back.

BR IDE SB YD ON NA

T

The excitement of being engaged is beyond compare; the absolute joy of loving and being loved is so special. But eventually reality creeps in, and the wedding has to be planned.

Do you want an evening or daytime ceremony? A cocktail reception or a full dinner? What about dancing? The options are limitless. For many brides, however, the most important decision is picking the dress!

All brides are beautiful, but, of course, most brides like a little assistance from savvy bridal shop professionals to aid them in their quest for beauty. These professionals can help you look your best and find a gown that flatters your figure.

If you’re not happy with your hips, “an A-line or princessline silhouette does a great job of disguising them,” says Lyily Abdullah from Matina’s. “The fuller the skirt, the slimmer the waist will appear.” And if you’d like to disguise a thicker waist, a dropped waistline starting several inches below the natural waistline addresses that problem.

While prowling at Brides by Donna in Chagrin Falls, I spotted a slim sheath covered with a sheer overgown that hangs straight from the shoulders to its hem. It has diamond-like jeweled trim around its elbow-length sheer sleeves and has scattered “diamonds” on the sheer over-dress. It was perfect for a bride with a thicker waistline or for one who wants something very sophisticated. I could see it going to blacktie parties for years to come.

Full-busted brides will

PH OT O/

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PHOTO / BRIDES BY DONNA

heavy fabric sleeve will accentuate always look good in a halter-top, the heaviness of an arm. A sheer says Patrice Catan from Catan sleeve with a lace overlay is also Bridal & Fashion. These brides flattering – and lace is back!” should stay away from empire looks, because that will only make Picket of Brides by Donna the bust look fuller, notes Donna showed me a fabulous, slim gown of Picket, owner of Brides by Donna. creamy satin with a V-neck and Alençon lace appliqués from shoulBoth professionals agree that der to hem on either side of the fuller-busted women shouldn’t be front. It broke the eye, and I could afraid of the very popular strapsee how very flattering it would be less look. Many of these strapless for any bride. The “pick up” skirt gowns have a front curve that goes rises here and there due to its congently up from underarm to understruction and is both interesting arm to keep that bustline modest.

Try a gown with short sleeves if you are and a great camouflage for those Straps can be added for additional uncomfortable with a strapless look. fuller hips. security, and for a more covered look, manufacturers can provide For brides planning a destination matching jackets for the ceremony. or beach wedding, look for a “dressy, flow-y, cut-on-the-bias” gown, suggests Audrey Bergrin, Overall, full-figured women should look for A-line owner of Audrey’s Sweet Threads at Eton Chagrin gowns or those with a “side-sweep (of fabric) across the Boulevard. Pick a fabric that drapes, not a “big, poofy, bodice from left to right with a pleated effect,” says heavy look,” she says.

Catan.

These gowns will flatter the figure and skim the body, Small-busted gals should opt for a strapless dress with plus “you can wear a regular bra with them” which is any kind of fabric gathering at the bustline. But if comforting to fuller-busted women, Bergrin adds. you’re not comfortable with a strapless dress, traditional, bell sleeves are coming back in style, Catan notes.

One dress in particular that she likes is a bra-friendly “Sheer sleeves with embroidery are flattering, but a gown with a reversible shrug. The shrug covers the

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ing on the bima, because that is arms with sheer fabric and features what the guests view, gets very flowing panels to create the illusion special treatment on many of the of a slim torso. more lavish gowns. They are not A petite bride “can’t take a lot of only beaded, but have lovely trains gown,” Catan contends. “A gown that create a lasting memory of should be cut in petite length and the ceremony. will be better proportioned to your “There is a correct style for body.” Try an A-line or a straight silevery figure,” insists Picket of houette, with limited ornament.

Brides by Donna. So no matter A tall bride might like a dress where you shop and no matter with an elongated waist or a very your figure, finding the perfect straight, slenderizing dress that wedding gown is no longer a accentuates her height. Lighter fabchore; it becomes the happiest of rics will flatter thin brides, as will Many dresses today feature subtle color, occasions prior to the wedding. ❤ straight or empire silhouettes. like this gown with a gold sash.

Clevelander Rae Phillips is a forFor the slightly older bride, there mer fashion retailer and a longtime are more sophisticated gowns. These fashion consultant. often feature delicate beading or Find your perfect wedding gown at: pearl embroidery, in A-line silhouettes with trumpet skirts and even some with pastel (mostly pink or blue) • A Bride’s Design 440-835-3655 detailing. One of Matina’s gowns was a strapless lace, • Brides by Donna, 440-247-1100 slim silhouette with godets inset from the knees down.

• Catan Bridal & Fashion 440-238-6664 It’s a great look!

• Fyodor Atelier, 216-591-1995 More color, albeit subtle, appears on bridal gowns • Jessica’s Bridal & Fashions, 216-751-5363 today. Many gowns are very simple in trim and silhou• Matina’s, 216-464-1288 ette, so if you do not desire something lavish, your choic• Audrey’s Sweet Threads, 216-831-8880 es are still unlimited. The back of the bride seen standPHOTO / MATINA’S

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088-091 #15

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Bride-to-be Annie Sherman before her makeover.

SNEAK Annie’s hair is swept off her face for a half-up, half-down ’do.

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CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS FEBRUARY 2005

Hair stylist Catherine experiments with placement of the tiara, before beginning to curl Annie’s hair.

peek

Hair is secured at the crown with a number of bobby pins.

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STORY AND PHOTOGRAPHY

BY JENNIFER SLATE GRISCHKAN

A Foundation is applied using the fingers.

Annie Sherman, 27, wears a lot of hats. She is the youth director at Park Synagogue, and she also teaches yoga at Evolution Yoga Studios. On July 3, she will wear another hat, er, veil when she marries Scott Siegel, 32.

To ensure that her hair and makeup look great on her special day, Annie went for a trial run at Europa International Salon and Spa, and she invited the CJN to tag along.

Hair stylist Catherine begins by asking Annie how she envisions herself on her big day. Deftly working her hands through Annie’s straight, light brown hair, she shows the excited bride-to-be some fun style options.

“Curls are in,” Catherine insists, so Annie chooses a half-up, half-down ’do with big, wavy curls. Annie tries on a headpiece so that they can determine from what angle the hair should be pulled back.

Catherine then sprays Annie’s shoulder-length hair with a flexible-hold hairspray, which the stylist recommends because it is easy to brush out.

“The dirtier the hair is, the better it will hold the style,” Catherine explains. She reminds Annie to have her locks highlighted two weeks prior to the wedding, and to have a trim three weeks prior.

Annie’s hair is divided into sections, and, using a large-barreled curling iron, Catherine carefully creates thick curls, starting at the back of the head and working her way around. She sprays each curl lightly with hairspray, and then tousles and separates each thick corkscrew into

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A blue/gray liner for the eyes,

a few coats of mascara, and ...

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Catherine runs both hands through the hair and pulls up whatever she can catch, allowing loose tendrils to escape, for a soft, natural look. Using her hands as her guide, she then pins the hair back at the crown in a crisscross fashion, letting the curls bounce over the nape of Annie’s neck.

Next, she teases and sweeps the top section back to create some height, and secures the style with a few more bobby pins. The tiara is gently put into place, and Annie is ready for Luba to apply her makeup.

peach lip gloss applied over lined lips.

Luba begins by applying a neutral base to Annie’s skin, consistently blending the liquid as she goes, making sure there will be no streaky lines.

To complement Annie’s sparkling blue eyes, Luba chooses an eye shadow color palette in browns and grays with just a hint of blue. Because Annie is having a Sunday morning ceremony followed by a Champagne brunch, “we are going for a natural but bright look,” Luba explains, instead of a more formal, evening look.

Before applying the shadow, Luba dabs a bit of foundation on the eyelids which will help keep the shadow in

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place. She then adds a lighter, shimmery pale gray color to the inner corners of Annie’s lids, and places the darker hues on the outer corners.

Using a small brush, Luba lines the eyes with a dark gray/blue eye liner. She lightly dusts a pale eye shadow on Annie’s browbones to highlight the eyes. Annie’s already-long eyelashes don’t require mascara, but Luba gives them a few coats for added impact.

Annie is planning to create a garden ambience for her wedding, so in keeping with that theme, Luba gives her a sun-kissed look with a honey bronze blush. She dusts the powder blush over Annie’s face, neck and shoulders.

Luba then lines Annie’s lips with a lip pencil in a taupe/mauve hue. She finishes the look with a soft peach lip gloss.

Catherine then secures Annie’s veil to the back of her head. “Make sure you line up the veil’s comb with your nose for balance,” she recommends.

With that, Annie’s transformation from youth director to young bride is complete. She’s hoping for sun on her wedding day, but no doubt she will light up the room on her own.❤ Swarovski crystal tiara headpiece and Malis Henderson pearlized seed bead crystal veil courtesy of Catan Fashions.

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Intro to Judaism 101 Book is resource for non-Jewish partner in an interfaith marriage Introducing My Faith and My Community: The Jewish Outreach Institute Guide for the Christian in a Jewish Interfaith Relationship. By Rabbi Kerry M. Olitzky. Jewish Lights. Woodstock, Vt. 2004. 148 pp. Paperback, $16.99.

Reviewed by TIM TIBBITTS In his work as director of the Jewish Outreach Institute of America, Rabbi Kerry Olitzky takes a strong stance on interfaith marriage: Those who embrace Judaism and the Jewish community by choice add to â&#x20AC;&#x201C; rather than detract from â&#x20AC;&#x201C; both the Jewish community and Jewish continuity, he claims.

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most recent book Introducing My Faith and My Community may be his most welcoming tract yet. He makes his position immediately clear in the introduction: “While there are those in the Jewish community who see (the increasing number of interfaith marriages) as a problem, I regard it as an opportunity – an opportunity to share the depth and beauty of Jewish civilization with those who might not otherwise be exposed to it.”

In this book, addressed specifically to Christians who by dint of a personal relationship seek to understand Judaism better, Olitzky laments the sometimes unwelcoming nature of Jewish synagogues, communities and families to outsiders. He points out that the instruction “The stranger that lives among you shall be like the native, and you shall love him as yourself; for you were strangers in the land of Egypt” (Leviticus 19:34) is repeated “more than 30 times in various forms throughout the Torah … more often than any other individual instruction or commandment.”

The author’s openness to the “stranger” to Judaism, his willingness to acknowledge that the vast majority of interfaith marriages are to Christians, and his choice to explain Judaism directly to those Christians in terms they can relate to make his book a great introduction to

Judaism. It doesn’t feel abstract; rather, Olitzky meets readers where they are and offers them myriad opportunities to connect.

In explaining Judaism, Olitzky draws upon the conceptualization of Rabbi Mordecai Kaplan, the founder of the Reconstructionist movement, of Judaism as a “civilization,” encompassing “numerous cultural attributes, such as art, language, law, ethics, and even styles of dress.” According to this model, religion is only one attribute of Jewish civilization. Thus, the book is divided into four sections designed to illuminate different (but overlapping) aspects of Judaism: faith, values, culture and community.

The chapter titled “Culture: Various Aspects of Jewish Civilization,” will be most helpful to those Christians who have trouble understanding their Jewish loved one’s attachment to Jewish identity even in the absence of overt religiosity. “A Jewish family’s religious identity may be weak or non-existent,” Olitzky explains, “but their ethnic identity with Judaism – however difficult it may be for them to articulate – is rock solid.”

Readers should be assured that while the author is open-minded and welcoming of non-Jews, at no point does he flinch from the assumption – implicit in both his

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tone and the nature of his advice – that the Jewish part- trum of Jewish practice, Olitzky occasionally errs on the side of being too inclusive to the point of absurdity. ner in an interfaith marriage will remain Jewish and For example: “For most Jews, Judaism is more about that the non-Jewish partner will be open to including community – however loosely defined – than it is about Jewish practices (in some form) within the home. religion per se, although belonging to a religious comIn fact, Introducing My Faith and My Community is munity is important to a large number of Jews.” replete with practical advice for interfaith families on Furthermore, the book would benefit ways to engage in Jewish practice. For from better and more integrated examples example, Olitzky observes that many “interfaith families find that the observance of the The author from Olitsky’s years of experience working with families. Unlike his book Making a Sabbath can be a ‘way in.’ They respond is openSuccessful Jewish Interfaith Marriage favorably to this notion of sacred time, a day (reviewed in the CJN 2004 Weddings suppledifferent from the rest of the week, a time minded ment), in which case studies from the lives when all members of the family get together and of interfaith families were woven seemingand separate themselves from the world inextricably into the fabric of the text, around them.” welcoming ly here the personal testimonies seem at times Beyond embracing the Sabbath, the author to be last-minute additions. considers partaking in Jewish customs as a of nonBut these are minor drawbacks. On the natural entry point for interfaith families.

Jews. whole, Introducing My Faith and My He describes customs, as opposed to mitzvot Community is an excellent resource for any (commandments), as “practices that have non-Jew who would like to know more become part of the routine of a particular about the Jewish religion and culture, as well as for community.” “Because customs offer inherent opportuthose in the community who are looking for some help nities for creativity – and the addition of personal in explaining their own faith and community to a nontouches – they also give interfaith families a chance to Jewish friend or loved one. make their own contribution to the Jewish community in special ways.” He urges readers, “Don’t be afraid to Because of its gentle, open and flexible approach to be creative and develop your own family customs as you Jewish traditions and rituals, this book is a valuable, explore Judaism and the Jewish community.” comprehensive review of Judaism for anyone in the Jewish community who would like to take a step toward In his laudable effort to represent and be respectful a deeper appreciation and practice of the faith. ❤ of people living and practicing along the entire spec-

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Charles and Celia Lewis chose a “cake” consisting of two raisin challahs.

Wedding day becomes a challah-day My eldest daughter Celia Hollander wanted a “Jewish down-home” ceremony for her Nov. 11, 1989, wedding. So, we arranged for a havdalah (end of Shabbat) wedding in the barn at Malabar farms with the bride and her groom, Charles Lewis, dressed nicely in denim.

For their “cake,” I ordered two raisin challahs in

two sizes. We stacked the two loaves on top of one another and topped them with a miniature bride and groom wearing denim. After the ceremony was performed by our dear friend Murray Gordon, we broke up the challah, dipped the pieces in honey, and ate happily!

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Read them! Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fun to flip through the pages and look at the pictures, and if you actually read the text, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll learn volumes about interior design.

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Pick your fabrics Choose fabrics early in your project because it is much easier to match permanent elements like paint and carpet to fabrics rather than the other way around.

Pick eight to ten fabrics for a room. Consider solids and neutrals for larger furniture pieces, and lots of brights and patterns for throw pillows and accents.

If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re having a hard time making a decision, you can rely on coordinated lines of fabrics, but youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll get a much more sophisticated and unique look if you pair fabrics yourself.

Remember, whites donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have to match exactly, and colors can be a tone or two off from each other.

Pick your floors Refer back to your theme, and take your fabric samples with you when shopping for flooring.

Generally, brick and wood are perfect for country styles, bamboo and sisal for contemporary and tropical looks. Carpet is best for cozy spaces like bedrooms and family rooms. Flagstone and slate go with any style.

Pick your paint colors Pack the fabric and carpet samples again when shopping for the right paint color. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s very hard to determine how colors will look on your walls from the tiny paint chip in the store, so try a quart or two at home before you commit to the gallon sizes. There are even sample jars of paint offered by some companies now just for that purpose.

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102-103 #13 genetics

2/3/05

9:57 AM

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GENETIC TESTING

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BY ROBERT KIWI, M.D.

Before a walk down the aisle leads to a trip to the delivery room, all couples need to make sure they are ready to add a new baby to their family. For Ashkenazi (Eastern European) Jews, this advance planning is especially important, because they face a higher risk of carrying certain genetic diseases that can be passed on to their children. Fortunately, a simple blood test can indicate whether someone is a carrier for any of the disorders.

Conditions of concern for Ashkenazi Jews include Tay-Sachs disease, Canavan disease, familial dysautonomia, Niemann-Pick (type A) disease, Fanconi Anemia (group C), Bloom Syndrome, and cystic fibrosis. All of these disorders are autosomal recessive, which means that both parents must be carriers for there to be the potential of passing the disease along to their child.

Every person has two copies of a gene, one inherited from each parent. In order to be a carrier of a disease, a person must have one normal copy of a gene and one defective copy. Carriers would not necessarily have the

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disease or any of its symptoms, so they would not know if they were carriers without genetic testing.

The only way for a child to be affected is if both parents are carriers and both pass along the defective gene — a 25% chance for each pregnancy.

One in 30 Ashkenazi Jews is a carrier of Tay-Sachs disease, and one in 100 is a carrier for Bloom Syndrome.

(A non-Jewish couple is about 10 times less likely to be a carrier for these diseases than an Ashkenazi Jewish couple.)

Tay-Sachs disease, Canavan (carrier frequency is 1 in 57), and Niemann-Pick (carrier frequency is 1 in 90) are all neurodegenerative disorders. A child with this type of disorder starts life with very normal development.

Then the initial symptoms – deterioration in mental and physical abilities – begin to present after about five or six months. Those affected with any of these disorders typically die before age 5 and often lapse into a vegetative state before death.

Those affected by Bloom Syndrome and Fanconi

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102-103 #13 genetics

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Page 3

At-risk couples can also use prenatal testing to diagAnemia (carrier frequency is 1 in 89) first present growth problems and have a high risk of developing can- nose possible health issues for the fetus. Early diagnosis, called Chorionic villus sampling (CVS), can be done as cer. Those with Bloom Syndrome typically die of cancer early as 10 to 12 weeks into pregnancy to determine before age 30, and those with Fanconi Anemia have a whether any genetic disorders have been tendency to develop leukemia. passed along to the fetus.

Cystic fibrosis (carrier frequency is 1 in A simple At-risk couples may also consider in26) is a disorder related to the production of vitro fertilization, because the fertilized mucous. This disease can affect multiple sysblood test eggs can be tested for genetic disease before tems in the body, including pulmonary, reproductive and gastrointestinal. Symptoms can can indicate implantation. In most instances, these diseases are identifiable through isolation of vary and can be managed with lifelong medwhether the gene in a fertilized egg before it is ical care, but those who have cystic fibrosis have a reduced life expectancy. someone is a implanted. Then, disease-free embryos can be chosen and implanted into the womb.

Familial dysautonomia (carrier frequency carrier for any Using donated sperm or eggs also may be is 1 in 30) is a disorder of the nervous system an option. and can be difficult to diagnose. While the of the It is important to consult a physician disease may result in sudden childhood death disorders. and/or rabbi when discussing familyfor some, others can live to be as old as 30. planning issues. ❤ Symptoms include abnormal body temperature, blood pressure and sweating, insensitivRobert Kiwi, M.D., is a staff member of the ity to pain, and feeding problems in infancy. Symptom Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology at The management is available to maintain quality of life, but Cleveland Clinic Beachwood Family Health and Surgery there is no cure.

Center. For more information, please call: Incorporating testing for these diseases into the • Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology, family-planning process is one method of handling The Cleveland Clinic, 216-839-3100 potentially difficult issues. Pre-conceptual counseling is • Mt. Sinai Center for Jewish Genetic Diseases, 216-844-3936 available and should be considered.

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104-107 #22/29 Carol/kosher

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MY ADVENTURES

S

in keeping a kosher home

BY CAROL M. SPLAVER

104

CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS FEBRUARY 2005

PHOTO/ SYLVART STUDIO

his kitchen; taking Judaism classes; not working on So you’re getting married! Mazel tov! And you want to Saturdays; going to synagogue regularly. create a kosher home? Double mazel tov! Believe me, I know exactly what lies ahead for you, because I started When I started dating Harvey after he returned to keeping kosher when I married 21 years ago. At first it Cleveland Heights, I began the slow transition to keeping took some getting used to, but the benefits over the years kosher, then “took the plunge” the day of our wedding. have been golden.

In the months before and after the wedding, I attended All foods certified kosher by reputable certifying agen- lectures and classes on kashrut given by local rabbis. We cies are prepared under the strictest regulations, using frequently consulted Rabbi Haim Halevy Donin’s informonly equally certified ingredients. Every step of kosher ative books Being a Jew and To Pray as a Jew, and I food preparation, from growing, depended heavily on Blu to shipping, transporting and sellGreenberg’s How to Run a ing is closely supervised for cleanTraditional Jewish Household. I liness, freshness, and product collected kosher cookbooks like safety.

The Spice and Spirit of Kosher Cooking, Cooking Kosher the For those of us who keep Natural Way, and Fuchs kosher, we don’t have to worry Mizrachi School’s self-published about mad cow disease because The Sefer of Kosher Cuisine. I only meat from 100% healthy anialso learned to adapt favorite mals is acceptable as kosher. cookbooks and recipes to our These animals are killed swiftly particular needs. and humanely with sharp, clean instruments. Salt is used on For years we consulted these kosher cuts of meat to drain books regularly, and still do as residual blood, which is then needed. We still attend lectures washed and rinsed away. and subscribe to Kashrus Magazine, Jewish Action, and Keeping kosher is not only kashrut.com because kosher cergood for the body, it is also good tifications of products and for the soul. The laws of kashrut restaurants change frequently. are written in the Torah, with rabbinical interpretation to meet One of the first things Harvey changing conditions and needs. and I did on our journey toward Are microwaves mentioned in the creating a kosher home was Torah? Of course not, but modern kashering (making kosher) the rabbis considered all the possible kitchen. We began by scrubbing advantages and problems associit, top to bottom. We lucked out ated with using a microwave and with the oven, because it was other modern appliances and self-cleaning. After a good wipehave since issued opinions or down with hot water, we set it to responsa on their use in kosher self-clean for two hours, then let kitchens. it sit unused for 24 hours and wiped it down again.

Even before the Jewish people received the Torah at Mt. Sinai, The cooktop was also easy their biblical ancestors followed because we got it as clean as the the rules of kashrut. Keeping glass-like surface could get, then kosher is holding onto a tradition turned on all the burners to high that spans thousands of years and for 20 minutes. That, like the hundreds of generations. self-cleaning oven, burned off Harvey and Carol Splaver began keeping any treif (non-kosher) food My husband Harvey and I both kosher when they married on Sept. 4, 1983. residue. It also sat unused for 24 came from non-observant families. hours and then received another Harvey became more observant good washing. while living on his own in Chicago because he decided if he were to some day have Jewish Next, we scrubbed the countertops, cabinets, drawers children, he needed to know more about what it means to and sink with very hot water and put down contact paper live Jewishly. One thing led to another: going to friends’ on the shelves and in the drawers. Then we carefully homes for Shabbat and yom tovim (holidays); kashering splashed boiling water on the counter tops and all over

104-107 #22/29 Carol/kosher

2/3/05

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the sink. The sink was off-limits for a day, but everything else was ready for use.

The real challenges were the refrigerator, freezer and dishwasher. The freezer actually had bits of food frozen to the bottom. After I got over the “yuck factor,” I scraped and scrubbed the unplugged freezer and fridge, and did the “very hot water splashing” again. Then came the 24-hour wait and wipe-down.

The dishwasher was another story completely. We scrubbed the insides, soaked the racks, and then consulted our rabbi. We learned that the porcelain walls and rubberized racks of the dishwasher were too porous to be kashered completely.

We had some choices: buy a new appliance; keep the dishwasher, replace the racks and wait one year before using it; or keep the machine and the racks, and still wait a year. We chose the last option.

With each sink-load I washed by hand, I counted down the months and days before I could use the dishwasher. When the blessed day finally arrived, as instructed, I ran the empty dishwasher through the full cycle twice, then loaded it up. Oh happy day!

Beyond the appliances, we also had to have kosher dishes, flatware, pots and pans, and utensils.

Because of rampant lactose intolerance in our family, we use only one set of cookware and bakeware for our “meat” meals. We use disposable dishes, cups and utensils for our limited dairy needs. That also eliminates the need for special dish towels, sponges, etc. for

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dairy use.

Although our kitchen is basically set up for meat or fleishig meals, a couple of years ago, I broke down and bought a second microwave for dairy products. What a blessing! Our teenage kids can now make their own frozen pizza, cheese sticks, macaroni and cheese and cheese pirogi.

Keeping kosher, like observing Shabbat and holidays and following the other mitzvot (commandments) in the Torah, is living life along certain tried-and-true guidelines. The Jews survived the Middle Ages with its plagues and contaminated food and water supplies because they followed their own rules of frequently washing hands and ritual immersion, eating only kosher foods, and living separately from their nonJewish neighbors.

As an added social benefit to keeping kosher, our vegetarian and vegan friends and relatives know they can eat our pareve (neither meat nor dairy) food without worrying that animal products might be lurking inside.

Do I miss the non-kosher foods I used to eat? Not really. As soon as I decided that non-kosher food was not good for me, I no longer wanted it. I can smell it or watch TV commercials promoting what I used to eat, and it has no more effect than my watching a commercial for a car I know I can’t afford.

So, good luck with setting up your own kosher household. Have fun buying all the new dishes, and bon appétit! Or as they say in Hebrew, b’tai avone! ❤

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104-107 #22/29 Carol/kosher

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KOSHER, BY THE BOOK Great resource for newlyweds intending to keep a kosher home How to Keep Kosher: A Comprehensive Guide to Understanding Jewish Dietary Laws. By Lisë Stern. William Morrow, an imprint of HarperCollins publishers. New York.

2004. 303 pp. $24.95.

F

Reviewed by: STEPHANIE GARBER

For Jews who choose to keep kosher, the act of eating is raised from a gustatory experience to a spiritual level.

But for those who have not been raised observing kashrut, beginning to do so may seem like a formidable challenge.

Lisë Stern’s How to Keep Kosher: A Comprehensive Guide to Understanding Jewish Dietary Laws is an easyto-read book that explores in depth the who, what, where, when, how, and why of kashrut for those who want to make the switch or simply want to learn more about this important mitzvah.

Noting that she has been keeping kosher since the age of nine, Stern begins the book with the why of kashrut – the biblical basis that forms the laws regarding what foods are permissible and which are treif, “... the generic

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word meaning blatantly unkosher.” She also explores the injunction against combining meat and dairy, basar b’chalav, noting, “The entire setup of your kosher kitchen is shaped by this law, and this is one of the ongoing challenges of maintaining a kosher home.”

Before explaining the incredibly detailed and timeconsuming “spiritual renovation” of kashering your kitchen (which the author emphasizes should be overseen by a rabbi), Stern has a section on what constitutes kosher food.

Even the “what” of kosher foods entails a hotbed of tricky answers, with different branches (as well as rabbis within different branches) maintaining differing opinions, but Stern does a stellar job explaining the gamut. Noting that some branches of Judaism observe “ingredient kosher,” also known as “label reading,” Stern defines what this practice entails. She also thoroughly describes the stricter methods of keeping kosher, such as observing chalav Yisrael (eating only dairy products in which the milk has been supervised from milking to bottling by a Jew) and purchasing only

104-107 #22/29 Carol/kosher

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Passover” foods, as well as instructions for transforming the kitchen to make it kosher for Passover.

The “where and when” of eating out is also discussed, and Stern again notes that different branches of Jews adhere to different standards in this regard.

How to Keep Kosher also includes 66 pages of recipes, beginning with a recipe for challah, and including traditional Shabbat and holidayrelated foods such as cholent, latkes, and hamantashen.

The book ends with a plethora of sources for further information on the subject of kashrut including contact information for supervising agencies, books, periodicals, and websites, and at least four sources of contact information for each of the four main branches of Judaism (Orthodox, Conservative, Reform and Reconstructionist).

Stern has taken an extremely complicated subject and, in a way that is sensitive to all branches of Judaism, made it understandable and “do-able.” This resource is a must for every Jewish bookshelf. ❤

prepackaged foods that are labeled with a heksher (a symbol that certifies a product is kosher).

She also relates the history of kosher certification, what obtaining certification entails, and includes information on some of the larger certifying organizations and their symbols.

Beyond packaged foods, Stern explores the kashrut status of nonprocessed foods, with sections on meat, poultry, eggs, dairy products (with a separate section regarding cheese), fish, bread (including the mitzvah of “separating challah,” which involves removing a small piece of dough and reciting a blessing). She continues with produce (with separate sections on grapes and produce from Israel), juice, alcoholic beverages, and raw ingredients such as sugar, flour and spices. A section on additives is broken down into those that are animal-based and dairy-based.

Then there is the “when” of kashrut – the detailed laws that mandate preparing, heating and serving food to comply with Shabbat laws. Stern does an excellent job explaining these laws in great detail. She also has a chapter on the myriad laws that govern “kosher for

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108-109#27 mikvah

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MIKVEH: House of hopes Ritual immersion serves to unite women as â&#x20AC;&#x153;a mighty forceâ&#x20AC;?

BY CHAVA WILLIG LEVY

E

Etymology fascinates me. Take my name, for example.

Chava, the biblical name for Eve, means â&#x20AC;&#x153;mother of all living things.â&#x20AC;? As a little girl, I remember learning from my parents that names are very meaningful. Quoting the talmudic sages of long ago, they told me that parents are granted a moment of prophecy when they choose their newbornâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s name.

I took the sagesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; words to heart. Surprisingly, children have always made me weak in the knees. The fact that a 1955 bout with polio made me very weak in the knees (literally!) never deterred me from my dreams of motherhood. My name was prophetic; surely it would contribute to my destiny.

But despite my motherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s giving me an all-embracing name, it looked unlikely that anyone would want to embrace me or, consequently, that I would ever know the joy of embracing a child of my own. So, even though I had a reputation as a disability rights activist, I hardly protested when the entrance to my hometownâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s new mikveh boasted a long stairway.

Mikveh and motherhood: Frankly, I never thought Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d enter either institution. The barriers to the first were architectural; the barriers to the second, attitudinal.

Together, they made me feel â&#x20AC;&#x201C; not always, but often enough â&#x20AC;&#x201C; powerless, insignificant and isolated.

In His infinite mercy, the Master of the Universe felt my pain and, through the subtlest of orchestrations, sent me a wonderful husband. Today, mikveh and motherhood are two responsibilities I embrace with infinite joy. And now that the privilege and pleasure of using the mikveh is mine, I find myself once again intrigued by etymology.

The word mikveh means a â&#x20AC;&#x153;gathering of waters,â&#x20AC;? as stated in Genesis (1:9): â&#x20AC;&#x153;Let the waters be gathered below the heavens to one place.â&#x20AC;? For me, this verse evokes an image of powerless, insignificant, isolated droplets of water converging and ultimately becoming a mighty force.

Maybe that is why the mitzvah of mikveh is so precious to me: It reminds me that God can transform trouble into triumph in the blink of an eye. It reminds me that having a disability is not tragic. Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s tragic is the stigma people attach to disability. Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s tragic is being isolated, being left out. And mikveh â&#x20AC;&#x201C; derived from the concept of gathering â&#x20AC;&#x201C; subtly reminds all of us that we must prevent that tragedy by gathering in (and welcoming) each member of our community.

Mikveh is also linked to the word hope. It is the place

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Perhaps that is why many women conclude their where tikvot, “hopes,” reside. How many of us have come mikveh immersion with the Yehi Ratzon prayer, a plea for to the mikveh to pour out our hopes to God? And isn’t it the rebuilding of the Temple in Jerusalem. They are busy interesting that for our “tevilah” (immersion) and the women, but not too busy to shift their gaze from a tiny, “tefillah” (prayer) accompanying it, we have to stand before God just as He made us? He cares about our hopes, holy house of hopes – where they pour out their personal dreams and dilemmas – to the holiest house of all, whose attaching no stigma to physical imperfections, be they reconstruction will coincide with a universal dream large or small. come true and the resolution of all dilemThe mikveh waters transform me from a woman with four atrophied limbs into – honMikveh and mas: “Behold, I will bring them from the northest to God – a ballerina! For a few glorious ern land and gather them from the ends of the moments, my arms extend effortlessly. And as motherhood: earth, among them people who are blind and I ascend unassisted the three bottom-most Frankly, I lame, pregnant and childbearing mothers steps, I marvel at the miracle of human grace together; a great congregation will return and motion. never here.” (Jeremiah 31:8) I find that the mikveh waters are the prithought I’d I believe that glorious gathering will mary source of the renewed energy I experioccur because of the women who, month ence after immersion. But coming in a close enter either after month, generation after generation, second is the mikveh bulletin board, whose have whispered this prayer, relinquishing array of business cards and announcements institution. their claim on God’s personal attention for a never fails to dazzle me. Promoting the servicgreater cause. Surely, in their merit, God will never relines of psychiatrists, swimming instructors, social workquish His People. Surely, in their merit, God will rebuild ers, and seamstresses; podiatrists, pianists, and public His house of hopes. ❤ relations consultants; attorneys, artists, and advertising executives; caterers, cardiologists, and calligraphers, it Chava Willig Levy dedicates this essay to her mother puts to rest the stereotype some slap on those women Ella Willig, of blessed memory, “the first person to immerse committed to the mitzvah of mikveh: “victims” of an me in mikveh waters and surely the person who prayed the “archaic, oppressive, offensive ritual.” The way I see it, hardest for that miraculous moment’s arrival.” these women resemble the mikveh waters: a mighty force Excerpted and reprinted with permission from “Total to reckon with, even if they enter this house of hopes one Immersion: A Mikvah Anthology,” edited by Rivkah Slonim. by one, with anonymity, without fanfare.

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Mishpocha mishegoss Don’t let family ties strangle you when planning your wedding

BY MARLA CACARES

T

Today’s brides and grooms face tougher wedding etiquette issues than just those of thank-you cards and place settings.

More couples-to-be are financing their own weddings and incorporating not just families but stepfamilies as well into their event. These cause a bevy of new etiquette quandaries that traditional solutions may not solve. Meanwhile, sticky situations that are timeless – feuding relatives, meddling mothers – continue to trouble brides and grooms.

Here are some common and not-so-common difficult wedding situations and advice from experts on how to deal with them: • Feuding folks. If your parents are divorced and still friends, you’re in luck. But, if your split-up folks are always at each other’s throats, you may be wary of their behavior on your wedding day.

The first step in avoiding a domestic disaster is to be honest with your parents. The key, though, is to make sure they understand that you are sympathetic to their

all it takes is

needs as well.

“Let them know that you understand what they’re going through and the difficulties they’re having,” says Georgina Tegart, a wedding planner in Chicago. “Then talk in terms of yourself – how important the day is to you. Talk about other family members, so they understand their behavior has implications for the wider family.”

Also, enlist the help of your fiancé – joining forces communicates that this is an important issue to you both and establishes that the two of you are now a team.

“If (the bride and groom) have the talk together, it makes it all the more momentous and important,” says Tegart. “And it’s hard for the parent to behave badly in front of someone they want to invite into their family.”

There are also practical measures you can take at the ceremony and reception to help prevent friction.

“At the wedding, don’t have them (your parents) stand together in the receiving line, and seat them at separate tables,” says Millie Martin Bratten, editor-in-chief of

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Bride’s Magazine and producer of Bride’s Book of Etiquette (Perigee Books, $16.95). “You can make sure their tables are obstructed by a column, that they’re back to back, that they have a big potted plant between them – whatever it takes to obstruct their view of one another.”

• Aisle anxieties and invitation issues. Having close relationships with both natural and stepparents can complicate some ART / TMS wedding-day decisions. Choosing the right people to walk you down the aisle, for example, can be difficult.

“If you’re on good terms with both (a stepfather and natural dad), one can walk you down the aisle part way, and the other can escort you the rest of the way,” Bratten says. “Or one can walk you down the aisle, and the other begins the father/daughter dance. You’re looking for some way to fairly honor each person.”

Although invitation wording can also seem tricky when you have a complex family makeup, remember one key rule: The name listed on the invitation is the host of the wedding reception.

“The host can be your mom, you and your groom, your dad, anyone,” Bratten says. “If your parents are hosting together but are divorced, they can still be listed, but with each of their names on separate lines. If you have stepparents and a natural parent who are hosting, it can be ‘Mr. and Mrs. Smith’ and the father of the bride –

on two separate lines.”

• Meddling moms. You may be an adult and able to make your own decisions, but your mother insists on making most of them when it comes to your wedding. Worse, she threatens to pull out her financial contribution – or even herself – if you don’t comply.

“Every mom wants to be involved in a daughter’s wedding. But sometimes they may have regrets or wishes about their own weddings that they’re transferring,” Tegart says. “And it is such a different issue when it comes to money and using it as a power struggle.

“The best solution is to take money out of the equation, if possible. The only other alternative is to relinquish – to say, ‘Is the color of the flower as important as enjoying my wedding day?’ You may not even notice if you give up control on a few things.”

Keep mildly meddling moms or relatives at bay by assigning them specific tasks. They’ll feel useful and keep themselves out of the rest of your decisions.

“If your mother-in-law has a green thumb, she can be the person to talk to the florist. If your mom is a great baker, she can talk to the cake person,” Bratten says.

“With family, if you can find their strengths and ask them to do one thing, they’ll feel like they’re involved.” ❤ Tribune Media Services

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PHOTO / MARTIN ZUCKER

112-113#26 Kekst wedding

Brad and Alison Kekst were married in his parents’ backyard.

A WEDDING

instead of a volleyball game

A

Family rallies to create special day for bride and groom

BY JOAN KEKST

As I marinated the beef short ribs last summer, I worried if there would be enough and mused over how long it had been since our youngest son’s childhood friends had gathered at our home in Chautauqua for their annual reunion.

Ages ago, I dubbed his little gang the “Chautauqua Syndicate.” They used to gather on our grass for a raucous Sunday volleyball game, which had become central to their annual visit. The menu request was always the same – barbecue beef ribs and chicken. Now, years later, they would come with their wives, children, and, of course, parents, who are our dear friends.

This year would be different. Our son Brad was planning to introduce his fiancée Alison. The “Syndicate” teased that they would get the final vote. But more than levity was at stake. My husband’s recent visit to the doctor didn’t bring good news. I called Brad with the report.

He suggested we reconsider this year’s reunion. But suddenly I had a better idea. “What about a wedding instead of a volleyball game? Your plans for a January wedding (six months hence) won’t work for Dad.” Brad and Alison talked and called back to say they liked the idea. “We’re here in San Francisco. Is two weeks

112

CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS FEBRUARY 2005

enough time?”

“Of course,” I replied and began to shake.

I then made two phone calls, the first to Rabbi Susan Stone. She was available to perform the wedding ceremony and agreed to meet Brad and Alison when they arrived. There wouldn’t be adequate time for Alison’s desired conversion to Judaism; instead Rabbi Stone recommended a book for the couple from which to choose a comfortable ceremony.

The second phone call was to a caterer near our Chautauqua home. Would they supply everything for about 50 people – paper and plastic goods, tables, linens, chairs and soft drinks? And would they use my already marinated frozen meat, eliminate dairy products from the menu, and prepare the food in my kitchen? When the caterer asked if I kept kosher, I knew it was a perfect fit!

Our other adult children jumped into action. One daughter made the wedding cake; another made the challah; one resurrected decorations for a chupah, and they all made gifts so Alison would feel like a bride, even without her family who couldn’t come at short notice from Asia. The kids completed endless errands before bringing their father from the hospital in Cleveland to

112-113#26 Kekst wedding

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Barbecue Short Ribs of Beef (Meat) The Rub: 2 C sugar 3 T paprika 2 T granulated garlic 1 T chili powder 1 T onion powder 8-10 lbs short ribs of beef, cut 1 to 1-1/2 inch thick The Sauce: 1 bottle (32 oz) ketchup 2 C dark brown sugar 1 C cola or root beer 1/2 C Worcestershire sauce 1/4 C frozen orange juice concentrate, undiluted 2 T coarse ground black pepper 1 T granulated garlic Mix all ingredients for the dry rub in small bowl. Line large roasting pan with heavy-duty foil; rinse ribs and pat dry. Place single layer of ribs in pan; spread rub all over.

Add second layer and repeat. Allow to stand at room temperature 30 minutes, or refrigerate overnight.

Combine all ingredients for sauce and simmer 30-45 minutes. Set aside.

Grill or broil ribs on medium until browned; turn every 67 minutes until well browned, being careful not to burn. As ribs are grilled, return ribs to clean, foil-lined pan.

Chautauqua where I waited anxiously.

A light rain fell as Brad arrived with a slightly uneasy Alison. After the rain, Alison saw a rainbow and told us her family is not religious, but they do believe in signs. The rainbow is a very important sign to them, and she knew it was right to have the wedding now.

Brad described their choice of ceremony called “The Children of Noah.” It pays homage to and asks protection from all of the earth’s elements. Performed in the open air, water and earth are sprinkled in circles into which the couple steps for their ceremony.

Our daughters made a rainbow of tulle for the chupah. The bridal couple chose Brad’s youngest nieces as

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Cover ribs tightly with foil and bake until tender (about 1 to 1-1/2 hours). Uncover and baste with sauce. Place basted side of ribs back on grill or under the broiler. Cook until crisp and sizzling. Turn and repeat on second side. Cut into desired portions and baste once more. Pass extra sauce. Serves 8-10.

Sweet & Spicy Sticky Barbecue Chicken (Meat) 1/2 C dark brown sugar 1/2 C water 3 T rice wine vinegar 2 T soy sauce 1 T minced fresh ginger 2 garlic cloves, minced 1/2 t freshly ground pepper crushed red chile flakes (optional) 1 T vegetable oil 2 fryers, cut up In bowl, whisk together brown sugar, water, vinegar, soy sauce, ginger, garlic, black pepper, crushed red chile flakes and oil. Pat chicken pieces dry and lightly baste with sauce.

Heat grill or broiler. Cook chicken pieces, turning frequently until nearly tender. Remove smaller pieces when done and baste again. Keep warm until serving. Make extra sauce to pass if desired. Serves 8-10.

escorts and asked his siblings to sprinkle circles of water and earth under the chupah. Rabbi Stone spoke of the couple’s strengths and family values.

After Brad’s father made the motzi (blessing over bread), the meal that followed was lovely, and after the bridal couple cut the three-tiered wedding cake, our eldest son led the toasting. Then the “Chautauqua Syndicate” continued humorous roasting and toasting around a cheery bonfire. We all beamed as witnesses to this remarkable day.

Later, Brad came to say goodnight. “I’m not sure what the perfect wedding is,” he said. “But I think I just had it.” ❤

“I’m not sure what the perfect wedding is,” he said. “But I think I just had it.”

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Wedding canopy honors memory of young bride-to-be

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Naava Applebaum approached her impending wedding day with all the eagerness and anticipation of a beautiful 20-year-old sabra contemplating the future ahead of her. But in one violent moment, a terrorist’s bomb ended a lifetime full of promise. Naava and her father, former Clevelander Dr. David Applebaum, director of emergency medicine at Shaare Zedek Medical Center in Jerusalem, were killed at a local café near the hospital on Sept. 9, 2003, the night before her wedding.

Designed by renowned American Judaica artist Fred Spinowitz, the Naava chupah is a tribute to Naava’s life.

The Naava chupah also memorializes the tragic and untimely loss of a young woman whose short life exemplified compassion and care for those most in need.

Naava had just completed her second year of Israel’s national service, where she tended to pediatric oncology patients. She brought great joy to very ill children, providing comfort and all aspects of non-medical care.

The Women’s Division of Shaare Zedek Medical Center, Jerusalem commissioned the Naava chupah as a

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fitting means of honoring the memory of Naava Applebaum.

Couples can rent the chupah for a tax-deductible donation of $5,000. Proceeds directly support the Naava Applebaum Sherut Leumi National Service Program and provide much-needed funding for the young women who are an integral part of Shaare Zedek Medical Center.

The Naava chupah’s lush velvet fabric, intricate embroidery and hand-painted design are rich with symbolism. Two trees stand tall against a backdrop of bright flowers, their branches intertwined like the couple that stands beneath the canopy, waiting to be joined for eternity. The tree is nourished by a body of water, in which are painted four phrases from “Song of Songs,” an extended love poem composed by the biblical King Solomon. Each of these phrases was specially selected because it contains the word “Naava,” Hebrew for “pleasant” or “beautiful.”

“This is a fitting tribute to Naava, whose smiling face and tireless attention lifted the spirits of many ailing

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PHOTO / SHAHAR AZRAN

114-115#36 chuppah memory

children,” notes Lee D. Weinbach, president of the National Women’s Division, Shaare Zedek. “Naava never saw her own wedding day, but every marriage that takes place under the Naava chupah will be a tribute to her life’s work and to her memory.”

Beyond the chupah A carefully selected cadre of Sherut Leumi women sustains morale among patients and supports the efforts of doctors throughout the Shaare Zedek Medical Center.

In fact, these young women fill such a critical role, that “it would be difficult for the hospital to function without them,” admits Dr. Jonathan Halevy, director general of Shaare Zedek Medical Center, Jerusalem.

Yet, the Israeli government provides no monetary support to maintain this $400,000-a-year national service program. In response, the Women’s Division of Shaare Zedek established The Naava Applebaum Circle of Life Endowment Fund to honor Naava’s good works; it ensures that the national service program will remain

A Bride’s Design

intact within the hospital.

To commemorate the hospital’s dual loss of Naava and her father, Dr. David Applebaum, and to pay tribute to the special bond they shared, the Women’s Division of Shaare Zedek has also commissioned a special gold-andblue topaz Circle of Life pin, designed by Fred Spinowitz’s daughter, jewelry designer Daphna Brainson.

Contributors of $3,600 or more to The Naava Applebaum Circle of Life Endowment Fund will receive the pin as a gift of appreciation.

Known as “the hospital with a heart,” Shaare Zedek is the only medical center located in the center of Jerusalem that provides medical care to all patients regardless of religious affiliation or cultural background. ❤ To obtain rental information on the Naava chupah and to learn more about the Naava Applebaum Circle of Life Endowment Fund, please contact Stephen Schechter at 212-999-5585 or call Lee D. Weinbach at Shaare Zedek at 212-764-8053.

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FEBRUARY 2005 CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS

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MEET THE IN-LAWS

I

Encounters with machetunim don’t have to follow script

BY DAVE WILSON

In contemporary American culture, there is perhaps no greater psychological drama than that of attempting to gain the acceptance of your future in-laws. Even movies like “Meet the Parents” or “Meet the Fockers” only approach the issue with a fraction of the complexity it really entails.

“So often couples forget that they are not only marrying the love of their life, but their spouse’s family as well,” says Kimberly Edstrom Schiller, a senior counselor for a New York- and Chicago-based employee assistance program. “In-laws can be both your greatest support and greatest point of sensitivity. A positive relationship with your in-laws can be extremely important for marital satisfaction.”

But fear not. By remembering these guidelines, even the most fumbling spouse can gain the acceptance of the in-laws.

• It’s not a popularity contest. Don’t view winning over the in-laws as a situation where you need to bake the best apple pie in the county every weekend. Relax and be yourself – the qualities that won over your

future spouse will undoubtedly win over his or her parents.

• Demonstrate. Treat your spouse with respect and genuine concern. Open doors for him or her, wash the dishes, sweep and serve the food. Prove that manners in this country are not dead.

• Send flowers. My mother-in-law had some outpatient surgery in the early months of our engagement, and I had the foresight to send flowers. She loved it.

• Sports and commonalties. For men and women, televised sports are a great equalizer and conversation generator. Even if you’re into interior design and horticulture, at least feign interest in the OSU-Michigan football game your father-in-law is so caught up in.

• Work to change the relationship. “If you do not like the type of relationship you have with your in-laws, help to change it,” Schiller recommends. “Discuss your feelings with your spouse so that he or she can give counsel. Make your loyalties known to each other. Then sit down with your in-laws to discuss your feelings and what type of relationship you hope to have with them.

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www.catalano.com

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PHOTO / TRACY BENNETT © UNIVERSAL STUDIOS AND DREAMWORKS LLC

The movie “Meet the Fockers” humorously examines the issue of gaining acceptance by future in-laws.

This will help to prevent an emotional triangle from being formed.

• Don’t criticize. There’s always a temptation to vent frustration about the in-laws, but try to avoid it. “No one wants to hear how off-base or screwed up their own parents are, even from a spouse. Asking questions to gain a better understanding about why your spouse feels that way can have a more positive impact on your relationship,” Schiller says. On the other hand, if your spouse needs to criticize his or her parents, just listen.

All in all, a healthy camaraderie with your in-laws will benefit your own relationship with your spouse.

“Marriage is about showing love and gratitude, giving respect, communication, trust, sharing feelings, caring for another and allowing you to set boundaries. Make the effort to respect, love, trust and communicate with your in-laws. Your marriage will be that much fuller for your efforts,” Schiller concludes. ❤ Courtesy of Tribune Media Services.

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Two live birds, one wrong name My husband Jay and I were married by our beloved Rabbi Rudolph Rosenthal on June 29, 1958, at the Temple on the Heights. In between the tiers of our wedding cake was a small cage containing two live “lovebirds.” On the top tier were two decorative hearts with our names written in icing.

Almost 47 years later I was shocked when I was looking at our wedding album and noticed for the first time that my name was misspelled on the cake!

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118-120 RR 3 2/3/05 10:09 AM Page 3

Chocolate strawberries on top When my brother Michael Berkowitz and his wife Stacy started dating, he surprised her with chocolate-covered strawberries, hoping that she would like them as much as he did. It turned out that it was one of her favorite desserts, too!

For their wedding on Nov. 9, 2003, at the Marriott Hotel downtown, they decided to incorporate their special treat into their wedding-cake design. The finished product was a three-tiered cake, frosted in chocolate and topped with chocolate-dipped strawberries.

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A tweet wedding cake topper I was married May 29, 1966, to Ezra Steiger in Cincinnati. The unusual thing about our cake was that it was topped with a cage containing live “lovebirds,” but I think they were really parakeets.

My mom named the birds Ezra and Karen after my husband and me. After the wedding, Ezra and I went on our honeymoon to Acapulco, so my mom took the “lovebirds” home. Two days later, my mom called my brother to tell him that “Ezra” had died. He thought she was speaking about my husband, but it was really the bird! “Karen” died of loneliness shortly after that.

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121-122 index

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Page 1

INDEX OF ADVERTISERS ART Contessa Galleries 216-861-9280/216-382-7800 . . . . 2 AUTO Infiniti of Bedford 866-216-1322 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 51 BAKERIES Catalano’s 440-442-8800 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .116 Corbos Dolceria 216-421-8181 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 120 Lax & Mandel Bakery 216-382-8877 . . . . . . . . . . 82 Lucy’s Sweet Surrender 216-752-0828 . . . . . . . . . 114 Unger’s Kosher Bakery & Food Shop 216-321-7176 . 43 BEAUTY Accents of Hair by Vincie 216-831-8918 . . . . . . .118 Advanced Laser Clinics 216-896-9234 . . . . . . . . . .115 Aesthetics Management Corp. 216-464-1050 . . . . .117 A.J. Millennium Spa 216-593-0271 . . . . . . . . . . . . 111 Beau Coiffure on the Boulevard 216-831-5654 . . . 101 Curves 216-295-2200 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44 Electrolysis & Permanent Cosmetic Center 216-831-3003 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 116 Europa International Salon & Spa . . 216-292-6969 . 81 John Roberts Hair Studio 216-839-4850 . . . . . . . . . 38 Ladies & Gentleman Salon & Spa 440/255-5572 . . .33 Mary Kay, Susan Zola 440-223-4102 . . . . . . . . . . 94 Salon DM 216-320-4247 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 117 Studio Misha 216-691-0909 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .94 Tamara’s of Chagrin 440-247-4450 . . . . . . . . . . . . 86 The Spa at Springfield 440-238-2111 . . . . . . . . . . 114 CANDY Chocolate Emporium 216-382-0140 . . . . . . . . . . . 98 CATERERS Around Downtown Catering 216-861-7522 . . . . 110 Bonnie Davis Catering 216-831-7909 . . . . . . . . . 109 Broadway Bagels 440-684-0700 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .107 Cafe 56 Company 216-464-3090 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 97 The Catering Company 216-283-1800 . . . . . . . . . .93 Contempo Cuisine 216-397-3520 . . . . . . . . . . . . . 78 Executive Caterers at Landerhaven 440-449-0700 . 59 Heinen’s Catering 866-475-2371 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7 COMMUNITY SERVICES Jewish Community Federation 216-566-9200 . . . . . 19 DANCE Dick Blake 216-831-5463 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .110 ENTERTAINMENT BalloonSculptures.com 216-548-0446 . . . . . . . . . . .86 Champagne Entertainment & Productions 440-519-9990 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 82 Jerry Bruno Productions 216-986-1808/877-800-5551 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 108 SJA & Associates Entertainment Services 877-839-6900 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .70 Trolley Tours of Cleveland 216-771-4484/ 800-848-0173 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 56

EVENT PLANNING Eventmasters 216-514-7670 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 80 G.S. Special Events 216-765-3300 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 68 Party Decor 440-887-0097/216-375-2034 . . . . . . . 75 The Party People 888-256-6655 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 105 FASHIONS A Bride’s Design 440-835-3655 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 115 Adina Prêt a Porter 216-291-1010 . . . . . . . . . . . . . 79 Audrey’s Sweet Threads 216-831-8880 . . . . . . . . . 39 Bonnie’s Goubaud 216-831-4250 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 80 Brides by Donna 440-247-1100 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 116 Catan Fashions 440-238-6664 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3, 61 Cutting Room Fabrics 440-473-1381 . . . . . . . . . . 100 Fyodor Atelier 216-591-1995 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 83 Hair Options 216-382-5987 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 102 Isle of Beads 216-371-0173 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 82 Jessica’s Bridals & Fashions 216-751-5363 . . . . . . . . 94 Lisa Moran, Ltd. 216-751-4980 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 99 Matina’s Bridal 216-464-1288 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 91 FLORISTS Blooms 216-367-1200 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 96 Duffy’s Flowers & Plants 440-248-8880 . . . . . . . . . 87 Flowers by Stazzone 216-831-6733 . . . . . . . . . . . . 81 Prestige Floral 216-595-8910 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23 Sharon’s Bloomers 216-381-3733 . . . . . . . . . . . . . 100 Timeless Moments 216-390-1863 . . . . . . . . . . . . 106 FOOD SPECIALTY Edible Arrangements 440-605-9200 . . . . . . . . . . . 120 Mustard Seed Market & Cafe 440-519-3600, ext.145 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 106 FRAMES Framart Galleries 216-464-0398/440-248-3430 . . 110 Wood Trader 216-397-7671 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 43 GIFTS American Crafts Gallery 216-231-2008 . . . . . . . . . . 95 Basket Case 216-360-0175 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 78 Dillard’s 216-464-6000 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30 Jacob’s Judaic Book and Gift Center 216-321-7200 . .87 Merkaz Judaica 216-595-0707 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 102 Mulholland & Sachs 216-295-7700 . . . . . . . . . . . . 79 Opus Gallery 216-595-1376 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 100 HOME FURNISHINGS Berg’s Baby & Teen 440-585-2374 . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46 Carpet Mart & Tile 216-896-0011 . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11 Crystal Illusions 216-292-9959 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29 Draperies by Spring Crest 440-585-5440 . . . . . . . 113 Fish Furniture 440-461-1050 / 440-779-7700 . . . . . 15 The Floor Show 216-662-5550 / 440-877-2100 . . 67 Furniture Corp. 216-464-9144 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 102 Harrison’s Fine Furniture 216-521-9083/440-899-5200 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 57 Marshall Carpet One & Rug Gallery 440-449-4977 / 440-449-0033 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 97 Pearl Rug Co. 216-360-9900/800-566-RUGS . . . . . 90 Sheraton Furniture 440-946-5559 . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25 Villa Moda 330-725-8838 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47 continued on next page FEBRUARY 2005 CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS

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INDEX OF ADVERTISERS HOTELS Homewood Suites 440-519-9500 . . . . . . . . . . . . . 118 INTERCONTINENTAL Hotel & Conference Center 216-707-4168 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 RENAISSANCE Cleveland Hotel 216-696-5600 . . 13 The Ritz-Carlton Cleveland 216-623-1300 . . . . . . . 9 INVITATIONS A.L. Wain Co. 216-751-2999 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 100 Exclusive Invites - Amy Finkenthal 216-831-1266 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 120 Hope Fromson 216-292-3044 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 110 Invitations & Calligraphy, Sally Bram 216-831-0558 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 108 Jubilee Invitations & Party Supplies 440-349-1515 . . 97 Noteriety 216-839-0000 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 103 Sensational Celebrations 216-292-1836 . . . . . . . . . 83 Sisters of Celebrations 216-464-8442 . . . . . . . . . . . 80 JEWELERS Alson 216-464-6767 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37 Berger & Silver Jewelers 216-464-5970 . . . . . . . . . . 93 James Alperin Jewelers 216-896-9605 . . . . . . . . . . 90 Lee Jewelers 440-442-8787 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 114 Mann Jewelers 216-831-1119 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 123 Maple Jewelers of Solon 440-248-2160 . . . . . . . . 113 Michael W. Hayes 216-464-0889 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 95 Nicholas Jewelers 216-381-3075 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 118 Peter Danford, Inc. 216-371-4200 . . . . . . . . . . . . 48 Rinaldi Jewelry 440-248-4920 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 86 Robert & Gabriel 440-473-6554 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18 Rosenfeld Jewelry, Inc. 440-446-0099 . . . . . . . . . . . 78 W. Brown Custom Jewelry 440-946-5938 . . . . . . . 120 LIMOUSINE SERVICES Classic Limousine Service 216-518-9775/800-871-1519 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 82 LINENS L’nique Linens 216-986-1600 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 109 MIKVAH Park Synagogue Mikvah 216-371-2244, ext. 135 . 108 MUSIC Bottom Line 440-871-0842 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 119 Conn Enterprises 216-292-3545/216-292-8262 . . . 39 Run Avril Run 216-272-0900 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 99 Yiddishe Cup Klezmer Band 216-932-3586 . . . . . 114 PHOTOGRAPHERS Best Image Photography & Video 216-381-6395 . . 107 Clifford Norton Studio 216-378-8000 . . . . . . . . . . 12 Divine Boutique and Photo Studio 440-461-3568 . . 71 Herbert Ascherman Jr. 216-321-1283 . . . . . . . . . . . 80 LCD Photography 440-257-5392 . . . . . . . . . . . 16,17 Marc Golub Photography 216-752-8008 . . . . . . . . 36 Myron Photographic Elegance 216-765-1116 . . . . . 8 New Image Photography 216-464-8959 . . . . . . . . . 91 NorthCoastPortraits 216-694-3686/800-690-3686 . 96 Pollack Studio 216-381-2001 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 39

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CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS FEBRUARY 2005

PUBLICATIONS Cleveland Jewish News 216-454-8300 . . . . . . . . . . 74 Weddings in Cleveland 800-272-4537 . . . . . . . . . 101 REALTORS/APTS./HOUSING Prudential Select, Young Team . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 59 Prudential Select, Donna Glazer 216-831-1432 . . . 86 Realty One, Adam Kaufman 216-831-7370 . . . . . 94 Realty One, Peggy Garr 216-831-7342 . . . . . . . . . 96 Smythe Cramer, Pepper Pike Paul Blumberg 216-831-9310 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 56 Villas of Orange 440-519-9110 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 55 RESTAURANTS Atria’s 216-691-8950 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45 Charley’s Crab 216-831-8222 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 103 Elsner’s Steak & Steam 216-752-6700 . . . . . . . . . 109 Moxie 216-831-5599 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41 Nighttown 216-795-0550 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 98 Pickwick & Frolic Restaurant & Club 216-241-7425 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42 Red the Steakhouse 216-831-2252 . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41 SPECIALTY RETAIL Eton Chagrin Boulevard 216-591-0544 . . . . . . . . . . 5 Legacy Village 216-382-3871 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 69 TRAVEL Action Travel Center 440-248-4949/800-391-1167 . . 98 Elite Tours & Travel 216-514-9000 . . . . . . . . . . . . 68 VENUES Anshe Chesed Fairmount Temple 216-464-1330, ext. 107 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 78 Aqua Charter LLC, Majestic 440-243-5141 . . . . . 105 Bertram Inn & Conference Center 877-995-0200 . . . 32 B’nai Jeshurun Congregation 216-831-6555 . . . . . 102 Chagrin Valley Athletic Club 440-543-5141 . . . . . . . 6 Cleveland Botanical Garden 216-721-1600, ext.175 . 35 Executive Caterers at Landerhaven 440-449-0700 . . BC Glidden House 216-231-8900 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 98 Hawthorne Valley Country Club 440-232-1400 . . . 26 Jewish Community Center Stonehill Conference Center 216-831-0700, ext. 1313 . . . . . . . . . . . . 60 Mooreland 440-525-7551 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42 The Oaks Lodge 800-922-5736/330-769-2601 . . . 24 Sammy’s 800-837-5899 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27 Severance Hall/Musical Arts Association 216-231-7421 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31 The Temple-Tifereth Israel 216-831-3233 . . . . . . . 45 Wicked Woods Golf Club 440-564-7960 . . . . . . . . 73 Windows on the River 216-861-1445 . . . . . . . . . . . . 49 VIDEOGRAPHERS Milestone Video Productions 216-382-1043 . . . . . . 46 Family Stories 330-963-3921 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 108 Viewpoint Media Group 440-564-1041 . . . . . . . . 119

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LANDERHAVEN • THE ROCK AND ROLL HALL OF FAME + MUSEUM • THE ENGLISH OAK ROOM AT TOWER CITY CENTER • THE CLEVELAND CONVENTION CENTER