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CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS 2006

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WEDDINGS Features

Planning

18 Getting hitched early or late in life

by June Scharf 32 The cost of marriage

by Jonathan Udren

42 Crystal to drills

by Riva Pomerantz 50 One night of fun before the ‘plunge’

by Douglas J. Guth

36 Interfaith weddings seek comfort zone

by Tim Tibbitts

54 Unique gifts for the bridal party

by Abby Hoicowitz 76 Rx for rehearsal dinners: casual & fun

by Ted S. Stratton

58 WWII war brides

by Lila Hanft

90 It takes the cake!

by Sue Angell 94 Primer for wedding reception music

by Alan Smason 98 You’re invited

by Rachel Hoskins 118 Stellar honeymoons

by Arlene Fine

Style 18

46 Always a bridesmaid

by Patricia Wren 62 The Look

by Patricia Wren 84 Sneak Peek 100 Brides’ bouquets reflect subtle changes

by Noelle Bye 106 With this bling

by Margi Herwald

Traditions 100

72 Mikveh offers spiritual rebirth

by Riva Pomerantz 110 Top 10 ritual items for the Jewish home

by Stephanie Garber

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CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS 2006

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PHOTO THOM ABEL

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CLEVELAND’S PREMIER LIFESTYLE CENTER Acorn Ann Taylor Loft Apple Computer April Cornell Arhaus Birkenstock Bistro Joseph-Beth Bombay Company Bombay Kids Brides by Demetrios Brio Tuscan Grille California Pizza Kitchen Cheesecake Factory Chipotle

Christopher & Banks CJ Banks Claddagh Irish Pub Coldwater Creek Contessa Gallery Cookies by Design Crate and Barrel Dick’s Sporting Goods Ecco Shoes Fifth Third Bank Giant Eagle Haagen Dazs Heather’s Heat and Flavor Janie and Jack

Joli Couture Jos. A. Bank Clothiers Joseph-Beth Booksellers Kuhlman Ladies & Gentlemen Salon & Spa La Gelateria Lilly Pulitzer Lush Boutique The Melting Pot NordicTrack Norwalk Design Studio Pearle Vision Restoration Hardware Ritz Camera

Safiros Sigrid Olsen Sprint Store Starbucks Stir Crazy Talbots Talbots Kids Talbots Mens Talbots Woman Tropical Smoothie Café Viking Culinary Arts White House/Black Market Z Gallerie

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weddings at the renaissance. elegant. expressive. extraordinary.

Make your dream wedding a reality at the Renaissance Cleveland Hotel. From napkin rings to the champagne toast, the Renaissance assures every detail will be perfect. Choose from three classically appointed ballrooms, spacious enough to accommodate 2000 guests, and invent a unique menu with our accomplished catering staff to create an exquisite reception sure to impress. Out-of-town company will appreciate the luxurious accommodations and impeccable service at Cleveland’s landmark social address. For more information, please call 216.696.5600 or visit us at www.renaissancecleveland.com.

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WEDDINGS RONNA A. NOVELLO Special Sections Editor ROB CERTNER Chief Executive Officer CYNTHIA DETTELBACH Executive Vice President-Editor JENNIFER R. WOOMER Executive Vice President-Advertising Director SHERRY LAPINE Business Manager SHARON ULSENHEIMER Production Manager FRIDA KON Creative Director REUBEN LeVINE, SHELLEY SCHLOSS Graphic Artists MARGI HERWALD City Editor JANET DERY Associate Editor MARTHA ROSENFIELD Advertising Manager DIANNE PALMER Marketing Director EDITORIAL STAFF

Carolee Baum, Ellen Schur Brown, Arlene Fine, Douglas J. Guth, Lila Hanft, Susan H. Kahn, Marilyn H. Karfeld, Roberta Sears, Alan Smason, Violet Spevack, Carol M. Splaver, Ted S. Stratton Tybee Zuckerman

for starters

T

This June, my husband and I will celebrate our 30th anniversary. Not much has changed for brides and grooms since we stood under the chuppah almost three decades ago. There are still rings to be chosen, the perfect wedding gown decided on and menus to be sampled. Florists and photographers must be consulted, bands previewed, honeymoons planned.

Putting together a wedding is an orchestration, getting all the parts to work in harmony. It brings out the best and the worst in family and friends. In the end, however, the frustrations, aggravations and consternation that invariably surface during the planning aren’t important. What really matters is the couple and their vows.

Looking back on my own wedding, I have one piece of advice for newlyweds and their respective families. The small things that go wrong don’t count. Don’t waste your time getting upset over them. On your wedding day, you make a commitment to spend your lives together. That’s what makes the day perfect.

Mazel Tov!

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Marsha Ettinger, Ron Greenbaum, Laurie Mandell ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES

Paul Bram, Anne Garson, Nell V. Kirman ADVERTISING COORDINATOR

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Diane Adams, Aida Brifman,Tammie Crawford, Alice Fingerhut, Marilyn Tobin VOL. 100 NO.8 CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS (ISSN-0009-8825) is published weekly, with additional issues in February, March, June, September, November and December by The Cleveland Jewish Publication Company at 23880 Commerce Park, Suite 1, Cleveland, Ohio 44122 Single copy $1.00. Periodicals Postage paid at Cleveland, OH. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to the Cleveland Jewish News, 23880 Commerce Park, Suite 1, Cleveland, Ohio 44122

The Cleveland Jewish Publication Company a not-for-profit corporation

www.clevelandjewishnews.com

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CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS 2006

COVER Detail shows handmade, cascading flowers on this cake created by Wendy Kromer, Wendy Kromer Confections, Sandusky.

Photography by Beth Segal.

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Getting hitched

early

Eric and Deb Hurwitz

or

Kori and Jon Karas

By JUNE SCHARF

G

Getting married for the first time is a huge life-altering event for couples of any age. But the issues seem particularly unique for those marrying young or at an older age.

Couples merging their lives early (ages 25 or younger) and those marrying at 40 and beyond shared with the CJN the marital elements that work in their lives. They also revealed where some of the challenges lie.

The fast track Debbie and Barry Rothschild, ages 46 and 43 respectively, admit they have been on the “fast track” since the day they were married six-and-a-half years ago. The ceremony was in June, and Debbie was pregnant by January.

“There was no time for great vacations. Our focus quickly turned to our daughter Lily,” explains Debbie.

Barry notes that starting a family quickly was something they discussed and agreed upon before getting married. Last year, the Solon couple also became parents to twins Bradley and Melissa. The couple feels blessed to have three healthy children.

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CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS 2006

By the time he was in his late 30s, Barry worried that having a family was beyond his reach. “I was getting to the age when I thought I’d never meet the person I’d marry.” Debbie, however, always believed she’d find her soulmate, even when she was burned out on dating. You must hold onto hope, she advises.

The two were fixed-up by mutual friends.

“I only wish I could have met Debbie 10 years earlier,” says Barry. “The more time I spend with her, the more I love her.”

But the passage of time has brought perspective, maturity and appreciation. “That’s what happens when you’re in your 40s,” Barry adds with a chuckle.

For Debbie, maturity has delivered the ability to be “real clear about what’s important.” To her, those things are family and leading a Jewish life. “I might not have had clarity on those priorities when I was in my 20s.”

Probably their greatest challenge is having children much younger and in far different phases of development than those of their contemporaries. As a result, friends may not get too excited to hear that the

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late has dramatic consequences in life

Barry and Debbie Rothschild

Ilana and Scott Wolfson

Rothschilds’ daughter is furniture walking (“Yeah, so what else happened today?”), but they are able to offer wonderful guidance on child-rearing. Debbie has compensated by also developing friendships with (younger) parents whose children are at the same stage as their children.

The greatest downside appears to be the shortened time they anticipate spending with their future grandchildren. “I think about that all the time,” says Barry.

“In my heart, I want to see those grandkids, so I imagine telling my kids to hurry up and not wait to get married.”

They agree that one of the upsides to their later-in-life plunge into childbearing is the fact that their children have relaxed parents. “We don’t get wigged out, we’re very flexible, and we don’t do everything by the book,” Barry says.

Make the most of life “There’s a lot to be said for enjoying the life you have,” says a woman in her early 50s who recently married for the first time. She says she always made the most of her extended single life and recommends that

others do the same.

“I’m not the type of person who’s going to make myself miserable by what’s not there.”

But now that there’s a husband in her life, she’s had to make significant adjustments, most notably with her time. “One’s concept of time changes … someone else is interested in it.”

That someone first came to her attention eight years ago through the CJN personal ads (which no longer run in the paper). She says she knew he was the one because there was “a complete sense of everything clicking.”

She and her husband, who was previously married, had an intimate wedding. It was one, however, that required a few extra considerations due to the presence of elderly parents. “We needed to figure out who could actually come, who could stand, and who could hear.”

Their biggest challenge now is merging all their belongings. Two households must become one, and they are determined to cut down on duplicates and triplicates, while still keeping their sense of humor intact.

A comparatively easy decision concerned having chil-

CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS 2006

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The couple, who resides in South Euclid, see many dren. “We’re past that. We’re too old. Some would say upsides to their union at a relatively early age. These that you’re never too old, but I would disagree.” While include: shared income, having kids before age 30, being she admits she would have loved to have children, “the married for a long time, having the time and flexibility time didn’t work out.” Again, she is at peace with this to travel before children arrive. aspect of her life.

They are forthright in owning up to the downsides, Her advice to other single women: Keep many options too. open for meeting people, such as dating websites. She also stresses the importance of giving a relationship a “Our single friends don’t want to hang out with us,” chance. “People say you can tell on the first date whether says Jon. it’s the right person, but that’s not necessarily true.”

“We aren’t established in our careers,” adds Kori.

Finally, using her own life as an example, They also express uncertainty regarding she suggests not putting off until marriage where their professional lives will take them things like travel and buying a home. And most She knew he and whether they will grow in the same direcof all, she believes it’s wise to be content with was the one tion. They note the additional burden of havthe life you have, married or not. ing to pay off student loans. because No more games Kori, a pre-K teacher at Gross Schechter At the other end of the newlywed spectrum everything Day School, offers advice to others in their are Kori, 25, and Jon Karas, 24, a recently marearly twenties who are thinking about tying clicked. ried couple who have no regrets about dropthe knot: Give careful consideration to goals ping out of the dating scene. and how they might still be accomplished after marriage.

“It’s a bunch of games that you have to play, and I don’t want to be doing that,” Jon says.

Jon? He’s just glad he’s married and to someone Jewish. When his friends tell him how tough it is for The couple met and started dating three and a half them to find someone with whom they want to spend the years ago while both were in college. rest of their lives, he feels fortunate that’s not his probIf you had asked Kori, before she met Jon, whether lem. Game over. she’d be married at this early point in her life, she would Growing together have laughed. But that quickly changed. “Right when I met him, I knew I wanted to marry him.”

Deb Hurwitz met her future husband Eric at a high

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husband Scott seven years ago.

The two met toward the end of high school. Scott says it was love at first sight; Ilana needed some more time. “I was very independent back then,” she says. They dated on and off again in college.

“It was a little rocky. We were young. We were a lot less mature,” admits Scott.

They lived together for three years in college, so Ilana says she never felt like they rushed into marriage. But she does feel that she neglected some other relationships in her life at that time.

“I didn’t develop friendships with girls in college, and I regret that,” she explains. “You can’t make your whole life your husband. You need to put effort into other friends, too.”

Now, even though she works part-time and is the mother of two sons, ages 4 and 15 months, she makes “a big effort to bond with friends.” She’ll meet them for lunch or dinner a few times each month.

For Scott, getting married at 25 was something he did with great confidence. How did he know he was making the right decision? “Because I love her.” Plus, he was already amenable to the idea of marrying young, he adds, because his mother was a bride at 18, and everything worked out well for her. ❤

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school graduation party. The two dated for the next seven years.

The Moreland Hills couple considered getting married at 21, but later decided 25 would be a better age to tie the knot. And while Deb recognizes the benefits of marrying young, she is aware of the drawbacks, too. Those include never living on her own in another city, not dating other people, not availing herself of opportunities that might have arisen, and “not experiencing the excitement of meeting new people and networking among them.”

Nonetheless, she has no regrets. “I don’t feel there is anyone out there who could make me as happy as Eric does.”

How did Eric know that getting married was the right thing to do?

“We did a very effective job of growing together while dating,” he says. “We’ve been honest about our needs and have confronted issues. We’ve never been secretive with each other.”

To him, the benefits of getting married young are no different from those felt at any other age – the joy of being in love and being with the person you love.

He advises meeting with a rabbi for counseling as part of planning a marriage, something he did with Deb. By addressing issues such as “Why are we doing this?” and “Is this the right thing for us?” the couple holds up a mirror to their relationship and can better evaluate various issues, he says.

Ilana Wolfson of Solon was 24 when she married her

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Guests Behaving Badly

By DIANE WILKOFF

E

table,” she relates.

Esther Ades and Rudi Sinykin have already put a lot Thorny seating situations also arise when there are of thought into the finer points of their wedding this blended families. Goldfarb recalls another wedding June, including the ins and outs of the wedding ceremowhere a family table couldn’t be arranged because the ny and reception decorum.

Bonnie Goldfarb of Beachwood and Phyllis Pomerantz groom’s divorced parents refused to sit together.

Goldfarb didn’t have to deal with sticky family seating of University Heights have a lot of experience planning arrangements at her own wedding three years ago. But, and attending Jewish weddings. Although they aren’t because she and her husband Lenny couldn’t decide with professional wedding planners, each has dealt with whom to sit, they sat by themselves at a table for two. guests behaving badly and other issues of protocol. With Sometimes religious observance affects their help, the young couple has taken seating options. When Pomerantz’s son steps to ensure appropriate decorum on “Seating can was married, for example, the father of their wedding day.

Goldfarb says seating, the most difficult drastically affect a the bride, an Orthodox Jew, requested separate seating of men and women. part of wedding planning, can drastically Issues for blended families can crop up affect a guest’s behavior on the important guest’s behavior.” for the processional. At many Jewish wedday. At one wedding Goldfarb attended, a Bonnie Goldfarb dings, both parents escort their child guest walked up to the mother of the down the aisle. At one wedding, where the groom and said, “You’re lucky if I ever groom had a biological father and a stepfather, the speak to you again because I was at such a bad table.” groom’s mother and her ex-husband walked halfway Other people take it upon themselves to sit wherever down the aisle with their son. At that point, the groom’s they want, regardless of where they are assigned. While stepfather took over and finished the walk with the managing the reception at one wedding, Pomerantz had the tricky assignment of asking someone to return to his groom’s mother.

Appropriate dress for guests is another potential assigned seat. “I had to tell him it was difficult for the flashpoint. At many Jewish weddings, it is customary for caterer to move around with so many people at the

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Owen Wilson, left, and Vince Vaughn played the ultimate guests behaving badly in the recent film “Wedding Crashers.” men to wear kipot and women to dress modestly, covering their knees and elbows. Typically, minor infractions of the dress code aren’t cause for major concern.

On occasion, however, an inappropriately dressed guest is part of the wedding party. Both Pomerantz and Goldfarb have attended weddings where the mother of the groom was not wearing a “mother-of-the-groom” dress.

At Pomerantz’s daughter’s wedding, an Orthodox affair, her new mother-in-law wore palazzo pants. At a “black-tieoptional” evening wedding Goldfarb attended, the groom’s mother wore a casual pantsuit.

These types of gaffes aren’t new. At my mother-in-law’s wedding more than 50 years ago, her mother-in-law wore an off-white dress, which was not done then or even now.

Esther Ades, the bride-to-be, sees advance information as key to ensuring a smooth day. “We have a lot of friends who are not Jewish,” she explains. “My family is very observant, and his is not.”

Ades and Sinykin are already leveling the playing field by providing more information to the guests who may need it. They even sent two different types of save-the-date cards, depending on the knowledge base of the intended recipient.

Even though many issues can be addressed prior to the wedding day, that doesn’t prevent all etiquette accidents. A serious wedding faux pas that often occurs involves the appearance of uninvited guests and no-shows.

Goldfarb received an RSVP from a couple and their two children that they would be attending her wedding.

However, only the woman and her sister, who was not invited, came. The gaffe was repeated at another family wedding a couple of months later.

No matter how much planning a couple does, there’s always the possibility of uninvited guests arriving, inappropriately dressed relatives and friends who behave badly. And despite all that, everyone still has a wonderful wedding. And after all, it’s the marriage that counts! ❤

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Finding the one

A

By LIBA PEARSON

About three years ago, a friend of mine met a woman.

Two weeks later, when he told me she was The One, I helpfully pointed out that it takes Amazon.com longer to ship me a book. I am happy to report they are still (to be honest, nauseatingly) in love, married two years and each completely without doubt that they stood under the chupah alongside their soul mate. Lucky them.

For the rest of us, lurching toward the M-word is a little less clear. You reach a point in your vaunted relationship where it’s either “do” (that whole nuptials thing) or “die” (bye-bye relationship).

How are you supposed to know? “I love him” (or her), we think. “But is this the person I want to be with for the rest of my life?”

You can think about this so much and so hard and so long that the bloom wears off the relationship. All of a sudden, it’s three years later and someone asks why it didn’t work out with so-and-so, and you don’t really have

an answer.

Even worse is getting caught up in the wonderment and bliss that new love offers – that heady, intoxicating heaven-on-earth of fresh devotion. Then you discover (when the catering contract is already signed) that she wants to buy a small cottage in Maine, while you were expecting to raise a large family in Los Angeles.

Toward whichever end of the scale you fall, asking yourself some honest questions can reveal whether you have the groundwork necessary for a successful marriage.

Communication is key Every relationship is helped by good communication, but a marriage will not survive without it. So you need to figure out if you and your beloved can talk and share openly. Can you express your feelings and needs, and share when you’re hurt? Does he/she listen to and understand you (or at least try)? Do you listen to your

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partner and feel comfortable that she/he is open with you?

More than feelings, you have to be able to discuss life issues.

Solid communication is NOT dreamily remarking that you hope your kids have his eyes.

Can you discuss your personal strengths and weaknesses, your vision of a family and how it works, your priorities, your attitude toward money, and how you want to structure your daily life?

What happens when you disagree? Can the two of you take a painful or difficult problem and work it through? Resolving issues involves discussion and solution, not merely a cessation of hostilities or a well-placed bribe. Sending flowers or offering a backrub is not called “working it through.”

Be concerned if you find yourself continually quelling feelings of resentment or anger or if you feel that your partner isn’t open and honest with you. Be even more concerned if you find yourself avoiding serious discussions – or if you hold back from expressing your true feelings, goals or opinions – because you

worry about what your partner might think or say.

Marriage Lite does not work in the long-run. You must feel safe exposing your truest, innermost self.

The vision thing It’s essential he/she sees that inner you. After all, marriage is about building a life together. Once you’ve communicated your feelings, hopes and dreams, you need to check that what you want out of life matches your partner’s vision.

The big and obvious questions are children (if, now or later, and how many), religious issues, and priorities such as balancing work and family. If you’re looking for a wife who will stay home full-time with the kids, you’d better clear it with your partner-track lawyer girlfriend before you start shopping for diamonds.

If you want a new car every two years, fancy vacations and designer clothes, be sure you’re marrying someone who won’t mind your doing 60- or 70-hour workweeks. If religion is important to you, don’t marry

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Issues pop up even with the most compatible couples. someone who views spirituality as a bunch of bunk.

Friends of mine spent their first year of marriage in a Disjunctions in those areas can doom a marriage vicious battle over whether toilet paper should roll from before it begins. the top or the bottom. They eventually resolved this criDon’t stop there, though. Your vision should include sis and are now quibbling over replacement of the the smaller stuff, too. Within reason. toothpaste cap.

If you love entertaining, you may be frusRemove as many land mines as you can trated with a wife who views her home as a beforehand. Love can conquer a lot, but it sanctuary from other people. If you’re a Issues pop up can’t hold together a couple who are going major saver, you may protest when your husin separate directions. “Working it out” even with band wants to charge the down payment on a does not mean the two of you have to do it house. If you love working out and hiking, the most alone. If you’re not sure whether an issue is you may have trouble adjusting to life with surmountable, consult a rabbi or trusted someone who views grocery shopping as an compatible counselor. athletic activity. couples.

The first step Small differences If you have all the basics right, what you You both need to realize your spouse is may need most is an attitude adjustment. not going to be like you in every way. No one It was Shakespeare’s comedies that conditioned us to ever will be, thank God. Being different from each other view weddings as happy endings. But the Bard got it is not only normal, natural and healthy – it’s inevitable. wrong – your wedding should be a happy beginning.

The question is whether the differences are things You lay a foundation before you begin building a that will drive you apart or pull you together. house. Completing the building, in this case, will take a It’s also essential to recognize that the longer you’ve lifetime. If the foundation is there and the two of you been single, the more set in your ways you’ve become. are determined to make it work, you have a fighting Don’t let small things stand in the way of your longchance of getting that happy ending – long after the curterm happiness. Accept that your partner will enjoy diftain falls. ❤ ferent activities, do things differently, and have different Reprinted from Aish Hatorah Resources, opinions. www.aish.com

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10 rules for effective communication How to speak so your spouse will listen

By DR. MEIR WIKLER No matter how effectively you communicate with neighbors, co-workers and friends, to get through to your spouse, try the following rules: Be sure your spouse is listening. If you need to talk about an important or sensitive subject, be sure that (s)he is not too angry or distracted. Check out your spouse’s readiness by asking, “Can you listen to me now?”

If your spouse responds, “No,” you can ask when (s)he will be ready to listen. While this may postpone your discussion, it will improve your chances of being heard when you finally do get the floor.

Begin with something positive. You must be sincere and not use artificial praise as a form of manipulation.

People automatically become defensive when someone begins with criticism or complaints. But if the same comments are preceded by a compliment, people will be vastly more open to consider what they are being told.

So if you need to express your dissatisfaction to your spouse (and who doesn’t?!), begin by offering a few words of approval.

Do not attack.

Attacks are indictments leveled like criminal charges in a court of law. They are pronounced in a self-righteous tone which almost always elicits defensiveness. Attacks tend to begin with “you” statements, such as “You are,” “You never,” or “You always.”

The best way to avoid attacking your spouse is to frame your comments using “I” statements to express your feelings.

Do not exaggerate. Exaggeration is one way we vent our feelings when we’re upset. This may relieve our inner tension, but it doesn’t do much to promote marital harmony.

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Once your spouse hears any slight exaggeration on your part, (s)he will feel fully justified in rejecting everything you have to say. Words such as “always” and “never” should be eliminated.

Do not mind read. Many people like to play amateur psychologist and figure out what others are thinking. If we assume our evaluation of our spouse’s motives is completely accurate, we run the risk of inflaming tempers.

“You don’t really care about me,” “You knew that would upset me,” and “I know you don’t really mean what you just said,” are all examples of provocative mindreading statements.

Focus on preferences, not principles. So often, spouses pretend their feelings are not as important as the “principle” involved.

As they argue, they desperately try to convince each other that they are “right.”

To “prove” they are right, couples often cite statistics, books and magazine articles.

They’ll refer to examples of friends and neighbors. When all else fails, they will assert that their position is “normal” or that “everyone” thinks and acts the way they do.

Therefore, someone who is abnormal would disagree.

While they believe this strengthens their arguments, they are, in fact, weakening them. It would be much more productive for couples to talk about their feelings.

It’s easier to dispute someone’s philosophy than feelings.

As long as we are discussing our preferences, there is room for compromise and resolution. But if we are talking about what is right and wrong, we will be much less likely to come to an agreement.

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Explain what made you feel the way you did.

People often mistakenly assume their feelings are universal. It’s so obvious to them that their feelings are “normal� that they see no need to explain exactly why they feel the way they do. Instead, they simply recount the disturbing events and let the tale speak for itself.

This is a serious mistake. If you don’t explain exactly how you feel in the most specific language possible, your spouse will not understand what bothered you.

Clarify your needs. You won’t be able to get what you want from your spouse unless you articulate exactly what your needs are. You have to tell your spouse not only what bothered you, but what you would have wanted done differently.

Some people have a very difficult time spelling out what they want. “I shouldn’t have to ask,� they insist. “She should know what I want.� “If I have to ask him, then I would rather not have it!�

Limit yourself to one or two topics. Husbands and wives sometimes find they have accumulated a laundry list of complaints and grievances. I call this “kitchen sinking� because the speaker piles on everything “including the kitchen sink.�

The urge to “kitchen sink� is understandable. For months or years you have felt misunderstood or not lis-

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tened to at all. Now you finally have the floor, and you feel you want to pack it all in.

Kitchen sinking is extremely counterproductive for several reasons. First, the listener begins to lose patience by the third or fourth item on the speaker’s list of complaints. Second, the speaker has guaranteed that no one topic can be explored in depth. It is far better to be selective and address only one, or at the most two, issues at each communication session.

Allow time for questions at the end. It is always a good idea to stop talking before your spouse loses patience. Allow him or her to ask questions. It’s only through the listener’s questions that the speaker’s words are fully understood. You wouldn’t learn very much attending a class if you were never permitted to ask questions. Similarly, you won’t communicate effectively if you don’t give your spouse the opportunity to ask you questions to clarify what you have just said. �

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Dr. Meir Wikler, a psychotherapist and family counselor, is the author of Partners with Hashem: From Tots Through Teens and Beyond, Effective Guidelines for Successful Parenting (Artscroll / Mesorah Publications, 2000). Aish HaTorah Resources.

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Embracing the financial I-Dos Red tape of marriage

By DIANE WILKOFF When we hear, “Love and honor, in sickness or in health …” we think “marriage.” We don’t think marriage when we hear “budgets, beneficiaries, credit ratings and disability insurance.” But according to financial experts, couples also need to bring those concerns to their marriage.

When Amy and Steve Myers of University Heights were married last August, Amy bore the brunt of the tedious paperwork that needed to be handled. “It was more difficult on my side because I was the one changing names,” recalls Amy, a high school teacher in Mentor. “I knew about changing my Social Security and driver’s license, but I also had to do my bills, credit card bills and passport.” Amy also had the added job of changing her name on her state teacher’s documents and the diploma she would receive from graduate school shortly after their wedding.

One key item many young couples overlook is setting up a budget. According to David Gottlieb, an investment representative with Edward Jones, “The first step in the whole financial plan that most people miss is setting up a cash savings plan.”

He recommends that couples open up their finances to each other. “It’s very important from Day One that they are both on the same page and know what they are getting into,” he explains. “But it’s rarely ever done.” Couples need to discuss how they will handle their investments and whether or not they will combine their assets.

“Some people keep their investments separate just in case

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things don’t work out,” says Gary Posner, a financial adviser with AG Edwards Financial Advisors. “Signing prenuptial agreements to protect children (from a previous marriage) is very common in an age when people divorce and remarry.”

The Myers didn’t have that issue to contend. They changed over their investments to both their names and named each other as beneficiaries. However, changing her name was a task Amy assumed.

According to Posner, when a woman changes her name, she has to send certain documents to financial institutions to show the new name. “For AG Edwards, a marriage certificate will suffice.”

If the newlyweds do not have life insurance, it’s important for them to get some, explains Sid Halpern, a New York Life insurance agent in Pepper Pike. “Say you become uninsurable after you get married, then you can’t get life insurance.”

Halpern recommends that parents buy their children permanent life insurance policies when they are young because it builds cash value as death benefits.

“Then, when they become adults, engaged or married, we guarantee that they can purchase additional coverage without having to provide a physical exam or other evidence of insurability.”

Halpern also urges both parties in a marriage to get life insurance coverage. Although many people have life insurance through their employer, it becomes more of an issue when one partner chooses to stay-athome to raise children. “The loss of a stay at home parent is emotionally devastating for a family,” explains Halpern.

“Unfortunately, it can cause serious financial difficulty as well, and that’s why it’s

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Couples need to look at credit ratings, as well, notes critical for a stay-at-home spouse to have life insurance Jones. “If one or both partners has poor credit, what protection.” will you do as a couple to rectify a poor credit history?”

A newly married couple needs to make sure they are Newlyweds should also look at their retirement properly insured on other fronts as well. They need to plans, wills and estate planning. “The make sure they have adequate home or longer you have to invest, the greater renter’s insurance, auto, health/medical Couples need potential benefits of compounded earnand disability, according to Traci Jones, to discuss whether ings,” explains Jones. vice president of marketing with Financial decisions and name changes SkyBank. or not they weren’t the hardest details for Amy to Amy and Steve Myers both have insurmanage. With some amusement in her ance policies, with each other named as will combine voice, she says learning to live with beneficiary, but not all their property is in their assets. another person was the biggest change both their names. The house Steve owned she has made. ❤ in University Heights before the couple Diane Wilkoff is a freelance writer in Beachwood who married remains in his name, and Amy’s car remains in needed ten years and letters from the IRS to finally hers. change her name with the Social Security Because couples assume each other’s financial obligaAdministration. tions when they marry, they also need to disclose any debt they may have. “From a marriage standpoint, you For more information on organizing joint finances: have to be up front as to what the situation is and real• Edward Jones, 216-464-7930 ize that you have to have a plan together,” explains • A. G. Edwards Financial Advisors, 216-595-7900 Gottlieb.

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The Cost of Marriage

A

By JONATHAN UDREN

After two years of single life in Israel, I looked forward to the new perspectives marriage would bring to my Israeli immigrant experience.

I knew the normal adjustments from bachelorhood were inevitable, such as putting down the toilet seat and washing linens more frequently than every six months.

But I never imagined marriage would force me to re-

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experience the entire immigration process.

My initiation began the day after our wedding in Pittsburgh, which was also the day before our flight to Israel.

We sat in Dena’s family’s basement all night packing (I should say cramming) the majority of her personal items into four giant duffel bags. By no means is Dena a materialistic person; the simpler lifestyle in Israel appeals to her, as it does to me.

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But after spending all night deciding which sweaters could and could not immigrate with us, I suddenly remembered the remark of a married friend who tried to prepare me for the changes of married life: “Women just have more stuff than we do.”

Now, instead of the two suitcases I brought on my aliyah, we were shlepping five giant bags – four of hers, one of mine – through Newark Airport.

We tried to disperse the heavy items evenly among the bags. But when we got to the check-in counter, three of the five were overweight. We worked frantically, exchanging heavier items for lighter ones so we wouldn’t have to either leave some unnecessary items behind (my suggestion) or pay the $120 overweight fee (her suggestion).

After 20 minutes of labor, every bag was about five pounds overweight, an amount the clerk was willing to overlook. By the time we took our seats on the plane, I had broken into a serious sweat.

That was nothing compared with the work that awaited us upon arrival. While Dena filled out paperwork in the absorption office, I had the task of locating and dragging each enormous bag off the conveyer belt and loading it onto the cart.

We then had to load the five bags into a cab and, once in Jerusalem, carry them up four flights of stairs to our

temporary apartment.

On my third trip up the stairs, I remembered another comment from that same married friend: “Being married means you have to shlep a lot more stuff. And just wait till you have kids!”

As we settled into our home, I looked forward to the delicious dishes my wife had been planning to cook for us. Any one of them would have been a grand improvement from my bachelor diet, which consisted mostly of pitas with labneh and hummus, soy patties or Delipecan cereal.

I didn’t realize that a more varied diet equals a much larger bill at the checkout. On our first trip to the grocery store together, the clerk rang up a bill of about $150. I bit my tongue as I thought to myself, “That’s how much I spend in a month!”

As we walked out of the store, I asked Dena if she thought we had spent a lot, and she answered, “Oh, that’s nothing compared to what I was spending for groceries in Philly!”

I couldn’t have been happier that we were living in Israel.

But the shopping had only begun. Since I previously had lived in a furnished apartment, the only household items I owned were a microwave, assorted plates and pieces of silverware, a pot for boiling pasta, and a pan

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for frying eggs.

It was understood that our housewares would need a major overhaul. Even more so, since we were moving to an unfurnished apartment, which in Israel generally means the place would be completely empty. Ours didn’t even come with closets, much less a refrigerator or oven.

Over the next several weeks we tracked down all the necessary household My initiation items, some from Janglo, a kind of Craig’s List for began the day English speakers in Jerusalem, some from before our places I never thought I’d visit, like IKEA. flight to Israel.

We spent so much time at Home Center – the Israeli equivalent of Home Depot – that I still can picture the workers in each of the different departments, like the French girl with the clear glasses in housewares and the older Sephardi man with a moustache in the hardware department.

As the weeks went on, our seemingly endless shopping spree started to feel like a nightmare.

Over the course of several weeks, our to-buy list start-

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ed to shrink, and we were just about ready to move to our new place in Efrat, the West Bank, about eight miles south of Jerusalem. However, a few essentials remained on the list, namely a KitchenAid and a Magimix.

Not only had I never heard of these items before I got married, I had no idea where to shop for them.

Apparently, I hadn’t spent any time in the dozens of Jerusalem appliance stores we began stalking day and night, looking for the best price on these items.

In the end we settled on a Magimix for about $345 and the KitchenAid for over $600, more than twice their prices in the United States.

I agreed with Dena that it’s better to buy good items that are going to last, but the bills were really adding up.

Again, I heard a familiar voice in my head: “Being married costs a heck of a lot more than being single!’’

Maybe the life changes I’m experiencing have more to do with marriage in general than aliyah. Maybe all new husbands have to absorb high grocery bills and KitchenAids. But the happiness and fulfillment that marriage provides make it all worthwhile.

It may be that the only difference between my newly married friends in the United States and me is that I’m learning these lessons in Israel. That detail makes it all even more worthwhile to us. ❤

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INTERFAITH WEDDINGS seek comfort zone for both families

By TIM TIBBITTS

Scenes from the Dempsey-Reich wedding, clockwise from left, Shauna and Daniel sign their ketubah; friends and family lift the couple in celebration; the newlyweds recite the blessing over the challah; formal portrait of Shauna’s family.

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From the time she was in middle school, Mayfield resident Shauna Reich knew she wanted to marry a Jewish man in a Jewish wedding ceremony and create a Jewish home. So when she fell in love with her best friend, Daniel Dempsey, during their undergraduate years at Kent State University, she had a problem: Dan was Lutheran.

Shauna made her commitment to Judaism clear to Dan early on in their relationship. “I wanted Dan to know – this (Judaism) is important to me,” Shauna said. “This is my life. This is how my kids are going to be (raised).” Dan honored Shauna’s commitment to Judaism and even made a habit of going to temple with her and her family. When they decided to get married, Dan agreed to be married by a rabbi and to raise any future children Jewish.

But it’s one thing to agree as a couple; pleasing the families involved can be a different matter entirely. Dan and Shauna faced a challenge a growing number of young couples face every year: how to have a wedding steeped in Jewish tradition and ritual that would also be comfortable for the groom and his Christian family.

For Shauna, there were certain non-negotiables: She wanted to be married by a rabbi under a chupah. She wanted to sign a ketubah, and she wanted Dan to break

the glass to conclude the ceremony.

Dan was comfortable with all these elements from Jewish tradition. He worried, however, about how comfortable it would be for his mother, who sings in the choir at Gloria Dei Lutheran Church in Hudson and has served as the congregation’s president.

“She’s a lot more religious than I am,” Dan said of his mother. “I don’t know if my parents or the rest of my family were too sure about what to expect.”

To alleviate potential concerns among Dan’s family, the couple immediately decided to ask Rev. Ron Duer, then pastor of Gloria Dei, to assist in the wedding ceremony. Shauna was nervous about meeting the pastor but was eager to avoid having her future mother-in-law unhappy with the proceedings.

Having agreed to include Dan’s pastor, the couple needed to find a rabbi willing to perform an interfaith wedding ceremony in concert with non-Jewish clergy.

Rabbi Susan Stone of Temple Beth Shalom in Hudson was a natural choice. She has known the Reich family since Shauna was a young girl, and officiated at the wedding ceremony of Shauna’s older sister Alisa – to a Catholic man – five years earlier. Moreover, as fellow clergy in Hudson, Rabbi Stone and Rev. Duer knew each

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other and were comfortable working together.

Early on, Rabbi Stone directed Shauna and Dan to two books, The New Jewish Wedding by Anita Diamant and Celebrating Interfaith Marriages by Rabbi Devon Lerner. She asked them to look at these resources and to come back with two lists: One should note the elements of a traditional Jewish wedding which appealed to them, and the other aspects that did not appeal or seemed confusing. From there, they worked together to plan a ceremony.

To help both families participate and share in the joy of the wedding, Rabbi Stone stressed the vital importance of keeping an open line of communication. She offered to help open that line by meeting with Dan’s parents.

“No one should have to feel like they’ve landed on Mars at their Child’s wedding,” says Stone, who believes much of the potential discomfort at a blended ceremony is rooted in cultural, rather than theological, differences. For example, at Jewish weddings, the ketubah is signed and pictures are taken beforehand so the bride and groom see each other before the ceremony. In addition, the reception follows immediately after the service. Neither is a cultural norm in Christian weddings.

“Jews often don’t realize that Christians can be potentially uncomfortable in these situations,” Stone said. “It’s not just Jews who are potentially uncomfort-

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able. No adult likes to appear incompetent. We’ve all grown up going to weddings, and we feel like we know how to do this.”

The most effective vehicle the couple used to help everyone present feel at ease was their wedding program. They modeled it on the one Alisa and her husband Jonathan Walsh, who are both involved in broadcast journalism, put together for their wedding.

Formatted like a newspaper and chock full of humor, the program offered articles about how the couple met, short profiles of the key players in the wedding party, and explanations of the elements of both Jewish and Christian traditions that were included in the ceremony.

In the end, Shauna and Dan’s wedding turned out, well, like a wedding. The bride was beautiful; the groom, nervous but happy. And when Dan stepped on the glass to conclude the ceremony, the assembled family and friends managed to sound a united “Mazel Tov!” Looking back on the process, the advice Shauna would offer to an interfaith couple planning a wedding is to prioritize their own needs as a couple. “The bride and the groom have to sit down and decide what they want first and then come up with ways to explain that to their families,” she says. “It’s really about compromise. Just like marriage.” ❤

Resources for Interfaith Couples Diamant, Anita. The New Jewish Wedding.

Fireside, 2001.

Lerner, Rabbi Devon. Celebrating Interfaith Marriages. Henry Holt, 1999.

Olitzky, Rabbi Kerry M., with Joan Peterson Littman. Making a Successful Jewish Interfaith Marriage: The Jewish Outreach Institute Guide to Opportunities, Challenges and Resources. Jewish Lights, 2003.

Olitzky, Rabbi Kerry M. Introducing My Faith and My Community: The Jewish Outreach Institute Guide for the Christian in a Jewish Interfaith Relationship. Jewish Lights, 2004.

InterfaithFamily.com is an online resource that helps interfaith families make Jewish choices for themselves and their children and encourages the Jewish community to welcome interfaith families.

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Crystal to drills Bridal registries feature items from classic to off-the-wall unusual

By RIVA POMERANTZ

F

PHOTO COURTESY ROBERT & GABRIEL JEWELERS

down the road,” encourages For anyone who has ever stared blankly at aisles of Chad Schreibman of Alson. “Plan items, trying to choose “the perfect gift,” a gift registry is ahead practically –– in a year from a beautiful thing. From a bride’s and groom’s perspecnow you might want to entertain.” tive, what better fun could there be than dreaming up a He encourages couples to select wish list and actually receiving many or most of the accessories and decorations items on it! that will make their home After the linens, dishes, and appliances have been look warm and inviting. selected and carefully recorded in a classic registry, why China, flatware and not head for a little more excitement? Jewelry stores stemware are still essenhave expanded their giftware selections and are seeing tials in a bridal registry, their fair share of bridal registrants. but there, too, trends are At Robert & Gabriel Jewelers, which offers a full-servchanging. Sue Danford, of ice gift registry and worldwide delivery, registries can be Peter Danford Jewelers, is set up on paper or on the computer. Couples can choose seeing couples veer away from the ornate and fancy, in from a wide variety of items, ranging from vases to servfavor of styles that are more casual and simple. Brightly ing pieces to Judaica, including many Israeli-made prodcolored pitchers, platters, and other giftware are hot ucts. items for registries, as well as traditional china place setEspecially popular at Robert & Gabriel is the Nambé tings and sterling silver, she says. line, featuring serving pieces in silver, crystal, and The most unusual new trend is honeyporcelain. Making a comeback are items moon registries. Couples can create online like the once-popular “snack sets,” as well registries for their dream honeymoon, as mix-and-match, hand-painted dishes. enabling friends and family to take part in Bruce Botnick, Robert & Gabriel owner, making that dream come true. Sample regadvises couples to select items with various istries include such items as: tickets for price points, to help gift-buyers make a two to Grand Bahamas; dinner on the selection that fits their budgets. beach; massage at the spa; and a hot-air Hank Gold, of American Crafts Gallery balloon ride. welcomes the advent of gift registries. She Sounds tacky? One online honeymoon counsels couples to choose what they like, registry begs to differ. “These days, it is without worrying about the price tag. Wellnot unusual or inappropriate to have a wishers can always group together to purnon-traditional registry such as a honeychase a very expensive item, if necessary. In moon registry. fact, she encourages newlyweds to register For those less daring, but looking for for items that they wouldn’t necessarily buy Nambé crystal vase is an something a bit more “out of the box,” for themselves. An unusual accessory or an example of timeless design. why not register for the tools and hardeye-catching piece of art will likely be a ware to help you build that box? Home Depot offers an more treasured gift than a potato peeler or apron, which online gift registry –– guaranteed to bring tears of joy to can always be purchased out-of-pocket. “The registry even the most shopping-averse groom. ❤ gives people an idea of the couple’s taste, even if they don’t buy the items on the list,” she says.

For more great gift ideas: • Alson Jewelers, 216-464-6767 Alson Jewelers is definitely seeing a shift in the items • American Crafts Gallery, 216-231-2008 couples are adding to their registry. Instead of crystal, • Berger & Silver Jewelers, 216-464-5970 crystal, and more crystal, bridal registry lists are being • Home Depot filled with unusual items, such as art glass, decorative • Mulholland & Sachs, 216-295-7700 knick-knacks, hand-carved wood bowls and candlesticks, • Peter Danford Jewelers, 216-371-4200 and home furnishings that coordinate with a couple’s • Robert & Gabriel Jewelers, 440-473-6554 color scheme or home decor.

• The Little Monogram Shop, 440-247-9090 “Register for things that you might want some time 42

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Choosing your supporting cast:

THE BRIDAL PARTY

A

By ROB KALLICK

As if deciding whom to invite to your wedding wasn’t hard enough, selecting the bridal party for your special day can be an even greater challenge. It’s important to take a number of things into consideration.

Selection process “It’s important to select people who mean the most to you,” says Joyce Scardina Becker, president of Events Of Distinction, a wedding planning and special event management company in San Francisco. “I believe the ideal candidate for your wedding party should demonstrate some important qualities. These include dependability, stability, availability and affordability.”

“Can you count on the best man to stay sober long enough to make an eloquent toast?” asks Becker. “Will your bridesmaids be there to support you or will they get into a catfight? Do they live close by? Can they afford to purchase a dress or rent a tux and travel if need be?”

Numbers game It’s no longer necessary to have an equal number of bridesmaids and groomsmen so they match as couples; the only obligations you have when choosing your bridal

party are meeting your needs.

“Part of the reason members of a bridal party are now called attendants is because a bride may choose to have men stand up with her and grooms may choose to have women stand up with them,” says Phyllis Cambria, a wedding planner in Coconut Creek, Fla. “Couples should feel free to invite those friends or family whom they feel closest to. It used to be couples felt there were people they were obligated to invite to be part of their wedding party, whether they were close to them or not.”

Mix and match Yet even with the freedom that many people experience nowadays, some common-sense considerations remain. “Often couples will have a relatively small number of guests; in that case having a large number of attendants would be unseemly,” says Cambria. “In fact, for very small ceremonies, only a maid of honor or best man would suffice.”

When it comes to siblings and family members, even more considerations need to be made.

“It’s a wise move to include any siblings, step-siblings

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PHOTO COURTESY / TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES

include everyone, but it’s simand your fiancée’s siblings if ply not possible.” you’re having a large bridal party,” says Sharon Naylor, Whatever you do, don’t author of The Essential Guide leave someone out because you To Wedding Etiquette ($10.95, think they’re too busy or not Sourcebooks). “However you in the right income bracket. should never feel obligated to “If it’s in your heart to include siblings or their partinclude them, it’s their responners if you’re not close to them sibility to assess their ability or battle with them regularly.” to participate, not yours,” says On the bench Naylor. “Wouldn’t you hate hearing, ‘I didn’t think you One of the biggest challenges could afford it?’” you’ll face during this process is deciding who to leave out of When asking people to be The bridal party should be made up of people who your bridal party. part of your bridal party, there will support you on your wedding day. are a few things to keep in “True friends will undermind. stand that you have a lot of siblings and your fiancée’s family to include,” she says.

“First things first. Ask, don’t tell,” says Naylor. “It’s “Still, some people might be upset you haven’t asked just a matter of courtesy and people will remember the (them). Expect that, and be ready with a conversation moment you asked them.” ❤ where you genuinely express that you wish you could Tribune Media Services

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Always a Bridesmaid

By PATRICIA WREN

PHOTO COURTESY BRIDES BY DONNA

046-049_bridesmaidsdresses

Full-length renaissance dress with pearl halter by Dessy. Pearls are removable.

H

PHOTO COURTESY MATINA’S

For the bridesmaid who loves luxurious fabrics, Jim Hjelm’s cashmere satin strapless A-line gown with empire bodice has soft pleats and crystal accents.

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CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS 2006

Have you been asked to be a bridesmaid more than once or twice? Then you probably have a closet filled with dresses you’ve worn once –– to the weddings for which they were bought.

Today, bridesmaids have a choice of dresses that are trendy –– and can be worn again.

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Chiffon Tahitian A-line gown by Jim Hjelm with halter neckline and ruffle skirt.

PHOTO COURTESY OF CATAN’S

PHOTOS COURTESY OF MATINA’S

046-049_bridesmaidsdresses

Alvina Valenta’s ivory satin gown with cummerbund waist.

Tea length is in The tea-length dress is growing in popularity for bridal wear and is flattering to most body types. The tea-length hemline falls about halfway between the knee and the ankle, giving the wearer a soft, feminine look reminiscent of 1950s fashions.

Bridesmaids like the tea-length dress, because “they actually may be able to wear it again,” says Lyily Abdallah, co-owner of Matina’s in Woodmere. “You can wear a tea-length dress as a guest at another wedding

Levkoff’s two-piece gown in tissue taffeta with bustled skirt.

or for another dressy occasion.”

“Tea length has been gaining in popularity over the past two to three years,” says Cathy Kuhn, owner of The Perfect Bride in Rocky River. “About half of the bridesmaid dresses that we’re selling are tea length.”

The A-line skirt is another flattering style. “One style being shown a lot has an A-line skirt wrapped to the side,” says Patrice Catan, owner of Catan’s Bridal in Strongsville.

“We’re showing an adorable A-line dress that is CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS 2006

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Satin two-piece v-neck with bustled back skirt.

PHOTO COURTESY MATINA’S

PHOTO COURTESY THE PERFECT BRIDE

046-049_bridesmaidsdresses

Alvina Valenta’s satin gown with dropped waist accent.

short — below the knee to mid-calf — with three bands of satin around the bottom, another at the dropped waist and one at the top,� explains Kuhn.

The dress comes in several colors, including black, and the fabric is organza.� “Most bridesmaids’ dresses are strapless,� says Galleria Gowns’ Clara DeLisio. “In addition, we’re selling a few dresses with spaghetti straps.� “We’re also seeing a lot of v-necks,� adds Matina’s co-owner Abdallah. “The more popular fabrics are satin, taffeta and chiffon.�

Popular Colors “Our number-one-selling color for bridesmaids’ dresses has been claret, followed by pink, espresso and black,� says DeLisio. “Black is classic. It never goes away. “Pink is the hottest new color for spring,� she adds. “All shades of pink — fuchsia, pale pinks, rose colors, magentas. Two-toned dresses are also popular — a taupe dress with a champagne sash or maybe claret with a sage-colored sash.�

Kuhn describes “the most glorious colors that are coming in for spring — chili, reddish-pink tones, Caribbean blue, and lots of greens, particularly apple

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green.”

“We’re seeing a lot of natural tones — taupes and champagnes,” says Abdallah. “Apple green is also gaining in popularity for spring and summer. Pink is always popular. Mango is being worn yearround, depending on the fabric.

And I’m seeing a lot of browns for fall.”

“Dresses for flower girls and junior bridesmaids come in the same colors as bridesmaids’ dresses,” says Kuhn. “We’re showing two styles in necklines – one is a jewel neckline, the other is cut straight across with spaghetti straps.” ❤ For Bridesmaid Dresses: • All Brides Beautiful, 330-655-1339 • Brides by Donna, 440-247-1100 • Catan’s Bridal, 440-238-6664 • Matina’s, 216-464-1288 • The Perfect Bride, 440-331-5113

Page 5

PHOTO COURTESY MATINA’S

2/14/06

PHOTO COURTESY THE PERFECT BRIDE

046-049_bridesmaidsdresses

Satin knee-length dress, left, with jade pleated satin empire waist ribbon. Satin fluted gown above, by Alvina Valenta, has ivory lace bodice with deep sweetheart neckline and spaghetti straps. Sash with bow accents empire waist.

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050-053_guth_BachelorParty

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One night of fun before the ‘plunge’

By DOUGLAS J. GUTH

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CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS 2006

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W

Within the last five years, I’ve attended about ten bachelor parties. Most of these pre-wedding rites of passage shared a common theme: A few hours drinking cheap beer at a friend’s house followed by a cab ride to the nearest “gentleman’s club.”

There have also been several trips to Niagara Falls.

OK, the falls are pretty and the dollar stretches nicely, but I’m not there to sightsee, and most of my dollars end up in a liquor store till or on the person of some Eastern European “adult entertainer.”

There’s nothing wrong with any of that, of course.

However, I can’t help but wonder if there’s more to bachelor parties than the cheap beer and cheap thrills.

After all, your buddy is set to take that long walk down the aisle — it’s your task to find the perfect place to celebrate the end of his single days. ……………

If you’re looking for the No. 1 destination for bachelor parties (and don’t mind spending some money), why not start at the top?

From casinos to nightclubs to the general party atmosphere that infuses the city with electricity, Las Vegas is probably the best send-off you can give your friend before he takes the plunge.

Howard Schulman, 26, a financial planner from Orange, has attended three bachelor parties in Sin City.

“My friends enjoy partying and gambling and having a

The Sauna at Elsner’s Steak & Steam is available for the groom and his posse to enjoy during the party. good time,” he says. “That’s what Vegas is about.”

Schulman and his friends stayed at the five-star Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino, which attracts a

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in Canada –– only a four-hour younger crowd than other Vegas drive from Cleveland –– offers hotspots, he says. Top-drawer the Casino Windsor Hotel, and alternatives include The a slew of nightclubs.

Mirage, The Venetian, Caesars Palace and Bellagio. Barbary Even closer is Put-in-Bay on Coast is a less expensive option, Lake Erie’s South Bass Island. although it doesn’t carry the This tiny, lively island retreat caché of Mandalay Bay and is known as the “Key West of friends. the North,” offering vibrant nightlife perfect for any bacheThe best places to party, adds lor party, enthuses Mark Schulman, are the Hard Rock Mathys, owner of the Hotel and The Palms.

Edgewater Hotel and Put-inAll of this fun can get expenBay Resort Hotel & Conference sive: Schulman guesses the Center. average trip to Vegas costs anyFun and vibrant nightlife are as close as Put-in-Bay. The facility features a where from $700 to $1,000, not Caribbean-themed swim-up including the inevitable money bar and a 40-person hot tub. lost at the blackjack table or slot Both the resort hotel and the machines. One way to cut costs, Edgewater are also in close proximity to local bars and suggests the Lyndhurst resident, is to pack as many peonightclubs. The resort has spacious suites that can ple as possible into a single hotel room. accommodate up to six people for $375 a night. An attrac“You won’t be sleeping much anyway,” Schulman tive island setting makes it worth the cost. chuckles.

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May and early June are the most popular times for bachelor (and bachelorette) parties at Put-in-Bay. Peak summer weekdays and all weekends book months in advance. More information on the island’s activities can be found at www.putinbay.com.

Not into nightclubs or casinos? Elsner’s Steak & Steam in Shaker Heights has a steam room, sauna and massage facilities for the groom and his posse.

Private rooms hold up to a total of 60 people, says owner Allan Leuchtag. Package deals (at about $55 per person) include Elsner’s famous ribsteak dinner and use of the facility. Partygoers are even allowed to bring their own refreshments.

“It’s a unique atmosphere” for a bachelor party, Leuchtag remarks, “an opportunity to treat yourself for a day.”

In the end, says seasoned bachelor-party attendee Schulman, it doesn’t really matter where you end up for your buddy’s bachelor party. The most important elements are already there: a groom, a group of friends, and one last night of single-guy fun. ❤ For more information on bachelor parties: • Edgewater Hotel and Put-in-Bay Resort Hotel & Conference Center • Elsner’s Steak & Steam, 216-752-6700

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Unique gifts

Personalize gifts for bridesmaids with their monogram or initial.

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By ABBY HOICOWITZ

Before the bride can meet the groom under the chupah and before he can break the glass, several tasks must be fulfilled. Fortunately, members of the wedding party are ready to assist with everything from selection of the bridal gown to the decoration of the getaway car.

These selected relatives and friends often spend months making sure the wedding day runs smoothly, and thanking them for their efforts is crucial. Here are some creative gift suggestions for devoted bridesmaids and groomsmen.

Bonnie Chernikoff, owner of Bonnie’s Goubaud, says her most popular gift items for attendants include an array of cocktail bags, earrings by designer Linda O’, pearls, handheld mirrors, and diamond pendants. For a special treat, Chernikoff suggests pampering the bridal party with one of her signature cosmetic makeovers. “That’s one of the best bridal gifts,� she says.

For bridesmaids or perhaps the maid of honor, a gold bracelet with diamonds is a classical way to show appreciation, says Barry Siegler, owner of Lee Jewelers.

Watches, picture frames, and Waterford Crystal are

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PHOTO COURTESY LITTLE MONOGRAM SHOP

054-056_bridalpartyGIFTS

2/6/06

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PHOTOS COURTESY BONNIE’S GOUBAUD

054-056_bridalpartyGIFTS

Pearls, crystals and beads can create stunning earrings or bracelets. The bride can make the jewelry for her wedding party or have a jewelry-making night and let everyone create their own special piece. beautiful gifts for men and women. Lladro figurines are all the rage for wedding party gifts today, adds Siegler.

These artistic, handcrafted porcelain collectibles are popular for their warmth and portrayal of human compassion.

For a personal touch, homemade gifts are also an option. At Isle of Beads, the only limitation is the creator’s imagination. Beads include traditional pearls and crystals, precious stones, and even funky vintage beads.

You can choose to give each person the same design or a distinct piece. Earrings, bracelets and necklaces are just

a few of the possibilities, notes owner Denise Newman.

Grooms can also create bracelets or key rings for their groomsmen. Beads are priced individually, and premade jewelry is available as well.

Holly Craig, owner of The Bee’s Knees Fine Stationery and Gifts, suggests personalized CD labels as a fashionable and clever gift option. More traditional gifts include monogrammed picture frames, money clips, linen handbags and elegant jewelry. Items begin as low as $25 and range to a high of $300.

For bridesmaids, Dori Loomis, owner of the Little

An Elegant Setting For Any Wedding or Social Event 225 luxuriously appointed Guest Rooms and Suites.

The 3,500 square foot Hayes Ballroom, accommodating up to 300 guests, complete with fabulous reception area and seasonal outdoor patios.

Private Getaway Cottage for two, perfect for a wedding night, anniversary, or any special occasion.

The McKinley, the main ballroom accommodates up to 500 guests.

The Garfield, accommodates up to 250 guests.

The Grant, in excess of 140 guests.

Experienced Event Coordinators assist couples in choosing individual room design, color schemes, gourmet menus and lighting for your special occasion.

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600 N.Aurora Road z Aurora, Ohio 44202 z Toll Free (877) 995-0200 www.thebertraminn.com CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS 2006

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PHOTOS COURTESY BONNIE’S GOUBAUD

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business card holders, and Monogram Shop, suggests silk cosmetic bags that clothes hangers designed in come in 100 different colthe shape of animal heads. ors and can be matched With all the options with the designated wedCleveland retailers offer, ding colors. Other eyeyou should have no trouble catching items include litfinding gifts that will tle round jewelry boxes delight each member of created with different fabyour wedding party. ❤ rics, lined with velvet, and For more unusual monogrammed to your wedding party gifts: specifications. Items for • American Crafts Gallery, men include pocketknives, 216-231-2008 money clips, a leather • Bee’s Knees Fine line, and a new glassware Stationery and Gifts, line.

440-247-4730 Stray off the beaten Gold plated regular and magnifying mirror can be customized • Bonnie’s Goubaud, path with some unusual with special wedding themed artwork or other design.

216-831-4250 gift ideas from American Crafts Gallery. Obsidian • Framart Galleries, Wind Chimes, handmade 216-464-0398 out of fossilized volcanic rock, are each one of a kind.

• Isle of Beads, 216-371-0173 Jeff Salkin, American Crafts Gallery owner, says the • Little Monogram Shop, 440-247-9090 instrument produces peaceful “music, rather than a • Mulholland & Sachs, 216-295-7700 bang.” He also recommends sculptured graphite pencils, • Noteriety, 216-839-0000 sterling silver jewelry, wooden photo albums, handmade • Opus Gallery, 216-595-1376

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CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS 2006

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WWII war brides When the women ‘over there’ came over here

I

By LILA HANFT

If you think today’s weddings require too much planning and decision-making, put yourself in the place of WWII war brides. They had fewer decisions to make, but the magnitude of those decisions was immense. Saying “I do” would alter their lives irrevocably, transporting them to America to live among strangers. They were removed from their native customs, family and friends – probably forever, given the prohibitive cost of transatlantic travel and long-distance calls at the time. Once they got hitched, there was no easy turning back.

Old-fashioned speed dating In 1944, 19-year-old Dorothy Kropman was in the habit of attending the informal, weekly dances at the Waterpack Tennis Club, a primarily Jewish club in Manchester, England, which opened its doors to JewishAmerican serviceman.

Despite the popular British joke that American GIs were “overpaid, oversexed, and over here,” Dorothy contends Jewish GIs were looking for companionship more than romance. The soldiers came “from miles around Manchester,” some of them “guys who’d never even been to (synagogue) services,” she recalls. They came “just to be with other Jews.”

One March evening, Dorothy met and danced with Staff Sgt. Sam Lessam, a 36-year-old Cleveland native serving in the finance corps.

Dorothy was extremely nearsighted, and that night she decided to forgo her glasses.

(Conventional wisdom held that “Men don’t make passes at girls who wear glasses.”) Instead, Dorothy relied on her best friend for descriptions of the men they met.

A few days after the dance, Lessam called to ask Dorothy on a date. She said “yes,” and they agreed to meet at a bus stop. “I hadn’t the least idea what he looked like, but fortunately, he was the only American to get off the bus,” Dorothy recalls with a laugh. After a few weeks, they’d fallen in love and were planning to wed in August 1944.

Dorothy may have been literally nearsighted, but when it came to making big decisions, she was remarkably farsighted. She married Lessam despite attempts from three American Jewish chaplains and her own rabbi to dissuade her. “They told me I didn’t know what 58

CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS 2006

Terry and Sanford Juntoff, just after their wedding in a London synagogue, January 1945. Below, a dinner menu from the ship that brought Juntoff to the U.S.

I was getting myself into, but we got married and we fooled them all,” she says. Their happy marriage lasted 45 years, until Sam’s death in 1990.

“Once I make up my mind to do something, I do it.

I don’t-second guess myself,” Dorothy Lessam acknowledges. “I don’t think I’ve made too many bad decisions.”

••• Terry and Sanford Juntoff ’s meeting and courtship in the seaport town of Plymouth, England, was no less precipitous. Terry, 19, was a Londoner who had volunteered as a Wren (WRNS, Women’s Royal Naval Service). She was stationed in Plymouth where Sanford, a Cleveland native, was a chief petty officer in the U.S. Navy, assigned to a minesweeper undergoing repairs in Plymouth. Like the Lessams, the two met at a weekly social event – services, supper and entertainment organized for Jewish servicemen by a small Orthodox shul that had miraculously survived the four-day incendiary bombing of Plymouth.

Decisions, decisions Unlike today’s brides, Lessam and her fellow war brides were spared endless decisions about flowers, dresses, tuxedos, food, venue and entertainment. The rigors of wartime narrowed their options considerably.

Who owned a nice dress they could borrow? Which synagogue was intact enough after the bombings to get

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would get a ticket to her final destination upon disemmarried in? And with rationing, where would they find barking from her transatlantic voyage. Finally, each enough flour, eggs, and butter to make a wedding cake? bride was required to bring exactly £10 in cash, no Two-and-a-half weeks before Sam and Dorothy more, no less.

Lesssam’s wedding date, Sam learned he was being Terry and Sanford Juntoff married in a London syndeployed to Russia. The couple decided to marry immeagogue in January 1945. Terry was disdiately. Fortunately, the rabbi and the syncharged from the British Navy and spent agogue they’d hired (Dorothy’s own synatime at the American embassy until gogue had been bombed) were available.

The rigors of transport was arranged for her. In March The guests were informed of the change in plans, and Dorothy’s friend’s mother hurwartime narrowed 1945, Terry was among the first war brides to sail to America, in a convoy riedly baked pastries for the reception. their options carrying 200 wounded Americans and 25 In the end, Sam wasn’t deployed to war brides. She still has the elegant Russia, remaining in England and Ireland considerably. printed menu from the farewell dinner until he was discharged in July of 1945. aboard the SS John Ericsson.

He returned to Cleveland while Dorothy For the Britons, long accustomed to and their daughter Ruth remained behind strict rationing, the feast – which included steak, to make their way through a morass of military bureauasparagus, fresh lettuce and tomatoes, Peach Melba, and cracy. chocolate cake – was an embarrasment of riches and a One-way passage intimation of the abundance they’d discover in To sail to America, a GI bride needed, in addition to American grocery stores and kitchens. a visa, passport, birth certificate, police record, and Dorothy Lessam’s trip was typical of the 60,000 war marriage certificate, a sworn statement from her husbrides transported, at the military’s cost, from England band that he could support her, complete with salary to the U.S. Once they’d gotten through “the whole rigdetails, and a statement from her husband’s commander marole” of military bureaucracy, Dorothy and Ruth verifying those details. joined hundreds of other brides and children aboard an She also needed a statement from her husband’s famItalian cruiser which arrived in New York City on St. ily saying they would feed and house her if her husPatrick’s Day 1946. band was still in the service and evidence that she

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ant, had a job outside Buffalo, which left Dorothy and The voyage itself was no picnic. “It really was dreadthe baby with Sam’s parents for most of the week. Life ful on the ship – a terrible storm blew us north so we with her Orthodox in-laws was initially an uncomfortwere literally among icebergs,� Dorothy recalls. “It took able fit for Dorothy, who is “third-generation Reform.� ten days to cross. I was seasick and so was our daughter Ruth.� At the end of the But her in-laws were voyage, Ruth also develbarely a disturbing blip oped respiratory probon the radar compared lems. with Cleveland’s “appalling weather,� says Sam met his family in Dorothy. “Twenty minutes New York, where they had after I got here, it was so dinner at the home of a hot I couldn’t believe it! I cousin, a physician who nearly croaked! � listened to Ruth’s lungs and recommended admit‘Very lost in the ting the infant to a hospibeginning’ tal. But after the trauma of Terry Juntoff ’s husthe voyage, Dorothy couldband Sanford wasn’t disn’t leave Ruth in a hospital charged for months after bed. Instead, she and Sam she came to the States. turned the back seat of Sanford met Terry’s boat their car into an imprompin New York and brought tu steam bath for the baby Used to rationing, war brides like Juntoff relished steak, asparagus her to Cleveland, where and drove straight back she moved in with his and peaches – when seasickness permitted. to a doctor in Cleveland. mother. He was home on (Ruth recovered nicely.) leave for a month and Home, sweet home then redeployed. Terry had a baby in December 1945; Sanford was discharged in October of 1946, more than a For nine months, the Lessams lived with Sam’s paryear after Terry immigrated to America. ents on Hamilton, off East 105th street. Sam, an account-

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“I was very lost in the beginning,” Terry says, recalling her difficulty in getting used to American spellings and idioms. One phrase commonly used in England Terry hastily abandoned in America: In England, “What time to you want to be knocked up?” meant “What time do you want to be woken up?” she says, laughing.

While “the hustle and bustle of cars,” was initially daunting, Terry quickly adjusted to the luxury of central heating, washing machines, and refrigerators, none of which were common in wartime England. And then there was the abundant and fresh food.

Terry also loved the feeling of community among Jews in Cleveland. In her youth, “Jewish people in England were mostly strictly Orthodox and kept to themselves.” As a result, Terry felt rather isolated.

“Growing up, ours was one of two Jewish families on the block, and there might have been only one or two Jewish children in school,” she recalls. Even in her Hebrew school, her classmates were strangers from other parts of London.

“I came here and (found) the Jewish people here more out in the open than in England. There was more of a Jewish life (in Cleveland) than in London. In general there’s more mixing in each others’ homes in the States.”

Community shares Ultimately, it was their deepening relationships with husbands, in-laws, congregants in their synagogue and with one another that made life in America comfortable for war brides.

Terry Juntoff and Dorothy Lessam found each other at a meeting of Daughters of the British Empire “of all places,” says Lessam. They also met and made longstanding friendships with other war brides, including one from what was then British Palestine.

Each woman mentioned the positive impact her respective synagogue has had in her “Americanization.”

“I felt very welcomed at Park Synagogue,” where Sanford had been a lifelong member, says Juntoff. The list of committees and projects they’re involved in leaves little doubt that “we’re still very active” at Park.

Joining Temple Emanu El was a turning point for Lessam. “I really began to feel at home here when I joined Emanu El,” she recalls. “They’ve always been wonderful to me. They became my family and helped me through some very difficult times.”

The right groom Of course, married life in any country is always better when you’ve chosen the right husband, as both Juntoff and Lessam did. Thinking back, Juntoff notes her adjustment to American life was easier than it might have been because Sanford “was really very helpful, and he was very good about explaining things to me.”

Sam Lessam, too, was a patient man with great concern for the needs and comfort of his loved ones. “Sam was an extraordinarily goodhearted, wonderful guy,” Dorothy says, as regret for his loss temporarily shadows her otherwise upbeat voice. ❤

Celebrate Your Simcha at The JCC!

The JCC is the perfect place for your wedding, bar/bat mitzvah, baby naming, bris, other special event, or meetings and conferences. The Stonehill Conference Center provides a beautiful setting, from the glass enclosed entrance and corridor to the elegantly designed and fullyequipped ballroom. Our approved caterers will plan and prepare a kosher menu specifically for you. And talk about a convenient location, The JCC is truly the center of Jewish Cleveland, easily accessible to many hotels and major highways.

For more information and a viewing of the facility, please call Iris Lorber Jewish Community Center of Cleveland

(216) 831-0700, ext. 1313.

26001 S. Woodland Road, Beachwood, OH 44122 CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS 2006

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THE LOOK

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By PATRICIA WREN Every girl dreams of her wedding day. She envisions walking down the aisle, resplendent in a long white gown with a flowing train and lacy veil. Family and friends watch adoringly as she approaches her handsome groom.

Choosing the perfect dress is one of the biggest decisions brides make. Here is some insight from wedding fashionistas who spend their days dressing the fashionable bride.

Bridal gown styles Most brides wear white, strapless, floor-length gowns with long trains and veils. “Strapless wedding gowns are our number one style,” says Clara DeLisio, manager of Galleria Gowns in Willoughby Hills. “ It’s a very flattering style.”

Cathy Kuhn, owner of The Perfect Bride in Rocky River, also sells mostly strapless gowns. “However, we’re starting to see a few more gowns with sleeves – sometimes long,

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sometimes lacy. Also gowns with thick straps and even a few Vnecks,” she says.

Whimsy can also play a role in wedding finery this season. We’re seeing a lot of the pull-up skirts that were introduced last spring,” says Kuhn. “The new look is fluffy, even delicate. Some skirts have a feathery look, with little tufts pulled up and stitched to the underlying fabric.

Matina’s in Woodmere sells a lot of formal bridal gowns that feature lace and pull-up, bouffant skirts. “Lace was brought in last year,” says co-owner Lyily Abdallah. “It’s very popular with our clientele.”

“Brides who want more formal weddings tend to choose gowns with longer trains,” says Patrice Catan, owner of Catan’s Bridal in Strongsville. “Trains tend to be short if it’s a destination wedding, such as those held on beaches.”

The fabrics of choice for most formal or traditional wedding gowns tend to be satin or silk/taffeta. “The fabrics for desti-

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CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS 2006

nation weddings are usually light and flowing, such as crepe or organza,” says DeLisio. “The gowns for these weddings tend to be sleek, and more form-fitting.”

Most bridal gowns are varying shades of white. “In addition to traditional white, we’re seeing darker tones, such as dark eggshell,” says Catan. About half of the bridal gowns Galleria sells are white-white; the other half are diamond white, the latter a shade between ivory and white.

“Ivory is very popular,” says Matina’s Abdallah. She also shows a few gowns with a little dash of color. Some brides are adding sashes in pinks, blues, champagnes or golds.”

Veils tend to be detailed with crystals or pearls, and silver or gold thread work. “Veils scattered with Swarovski crystals are popular, as are embroidered veils,” says DeLisio. “Tiaras are also popular for headpieces.”

Fitting the dress to the bride Many brides start shopping for their gown with their mother and/or a bridesmaid – sometimes both – and a picture in their hand or head. They think they know what they want. “But when they come in and try on a few dresses,” says Abdallah, “they end up buying something totally different.”

Most bridal gowns need to be altered. The bride’s measurements are taken when she first comes into a store.

“Based on her measurements, we order the dress from the manufacturer to fit the largest part of a bride’s figure. We alter the dress after it arrives to fit the bride’s body. It usu-

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ally takes two to three fittings to make the dress fit perfectly,” says Kuhn.

Brides might want to inquire about alteration policies, which differ from store to store. Matina’s, for example, has seamstresses on the premises who subcontract to do alterations. At The Perfect Bride, alterations are included in the price of the gown.

Second time “The second-time bride often selects a little more informal attire, such as a suit,” says Abdallah. “The color might be ivory or gold, and the fabric could be anything – lace, knit or wool.”

Second-time brides sometimes opt for the formal wedding they’ve always wanted, or it may be the first time for their new husband. “A secondtime bride chooses a slightly less traditional gown,” says DeLisio.

“The train just dusts the floor rather than trailing far behind.” After all, first or second time, it’s the long-awaited day of her dreams. ❤ For Beautiful Bridal Fashions: • All Brides Beautiful, 330-655-1339 • Brides by Donna, 440-247-1100 • Catan’s Bridal, 440-238-6664 • Galleria Gowns, 440-943-6065 • Matina’s, 216-464-1288 • The Perfect Bride, 440-331-5113

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‘I do’ fashion A full princess A-line gown of pearl silk blend satin by Anne Barge, left, with a beaded V-neckline and empire waist.

Anne Barge’s imperial court ball gown of pearl silk satin with off-theshoulder bodice, edged in rows of pleated tulle is caught with bows at the sleeves.

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Strapless ball gown in pearl silk satin with silver beading and embroidery.

By Anne Barge.

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Soleil silk charmuese and Chantilly lace by Madina Vadache, above, with handmade petals/feathers and rhinestones embellishments. Above right, Anne Barge’s three-quarter sleeve ball gown of pearl Chantilly lace over mocha silk satin is intricately beaded, with a dropped waist bodice.

A-line gown with silk baby’s breath embroidered organza has double straps of tiny flowers and crystals, chapel train, and tiny Swarovski crystal buttons at the back.

By Carol Peretz Bridal.

Violaine couture gown from Madina Vadache has skirt embellished with silk organza petals/feathers and a Cosmo tulle top.

CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS 2006

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Anne Barge’s gown with Vneckline and spaghetti straps is accented with Alencon lace and bubbled skirt of rouched tulle. Below, couture portraitneck satin gown from Mary’s Bridal.

Elaborately detailed skirt and peplumed cathedral train.

French strapless couture satin A-line gown, above from Mary’s Bridal. Long bodice features shimmering crystals and metallic beading. Right, Anne Barge strapless gown with scooped bodice of pearl tulle, with dropped waist and rouched tulle skirt with flowers at back.

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Strapless ball gown with embellished bodice of organza ribbon, full lace and organza skirt with draped folds and organza flowers. By YSA Makino.

Gown by Lea-Ann Belter, top, features a strapless fitted lace bodice, A-line skirt and chapel train in light organza over satin organza.

Ramona Keveza’s strapless gown made of Chantilly lace, right, features a draped bodice and a softly flared skirt accented with delicate feathers at the hem.

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Home Sweet Home: apartment or house?

By DIANE WILKOFF

H

Home is where the heart is. For new couples that home can be a rented apartment in the city or a mortgaged house in the ’burbs. Newlyweds Cynthia and Zachary Gordon would prefer the latter but, for now, are settling for the less expensive former option.

Zachary, a third-year medical student at Case, and Cynthia, an employee at Bravo’s, opted for a Cleveland Heights apartment in the Cedar Hill area for a number of reasons. “Most of what I do is at The Cleveland Clinic, University Hospitals or Metro,” explains Gordon.

“It is very convenient to get to work.” He also enjoys the activity and other young people in the area.

Realtors frequently see young couples making the same choice as the Gordons but recommend they buy a house if they can. “A lot of young married people don’t have their down payment,” says Donna Glazer a realtor with Prudential Select Services. “If they can assume the loan, it is the best investment they can make – besides each other.”

Other realtors agree. “If a person is financially capable of purchasing a home and has plans to stay in an area for any significant amount of time, home owner-

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ship is the obvious choice,” says Jeffrey Young with Remax Premiere Properties in Pepper Pike concurs.

“People should do what is (financially) comfortable,” says Paul Blumberg, a realtor with Howard Hanna Smythe Cramer in Pepper Pike.

Although owning a home is a major undertaking, the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages.

“Depending on what type of (mortgage) payment, some portion

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is going to the mortgage, so you are building equity and you have the pride of ownership,� advises Remax’s Young. Owners also reap the tax benefits of deducting the interest they pay on their mortgage.

Even newlyweds not planning on staying in one place can garner benefits from owning a home. “If you are going to be in a house for less than five years, you might want to get a five-year balloon (mortgage),� recommends Blumberg. In this situation, the owner pays less on a monthly basis, with full payment of the mortgage expected at the end of five years. If he plans on moving and selling the home within those first five years, the sale will cover the balloon payment.

When Gordon does buy a home, he would like to live in the Heights area – Cleveland, University or Shaker Heights – but that depends on where he works. “If I work at The Clinic or UH, we’ll probably buy in University Heights.� If his career takes him to a hospital near a freeway, they will probably look at other areas like Beachwood and Solon.

The Gordons are not atypical in

their approach. “If it’s a young couple starting out, they will (probably) look to a home in University Heights or Shaker Heights,� asserts Glazer. “For three bedrooms and a bath-and-a-half, there are nice starter homes for $140,000 to $225,000.� “A comparable house in Beachwood or Solon or one of the farther east suburbs is generally going to be a little more expensive,� says Young.

Once newlyweds decide to buy a home, SkyBank suggests some pointers to help make the experience a good one. “Work with a professional to determine how much ‘house’ you can afford,� says Traci Jones, vice president of marketing. “As a young couple, you don’t want to be house rich and cash poor. Be sure to work with a professional realtor as well as an experienced mortgage consultant.�

Have an inspector who is not a yes man and an agent who knows the area.

After all, “there is more to owning a home than just paying a mortgage,� advises Gordon. �

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CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS 2006

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Mikveh offers spiritual rebirth

By RIVA POMERANTZ

Y

You’ve altered the gowns, selected the flowers, and finalized the menu – all the aesthetic elements are down pat. But what about the spiritual component of the wedding?

When a man and woman stand under the wedding canopy, they are entering a new dimension of existence. No longer separate entities –– they merge to become a single unit, with the Divine Presence alongside them.

The laws comprising mikveh are a significant contributor to satisfying, harmonious marriages. Secular therapists are recognizing what Jewish tradition has established from time immemorial: The Mikveh offers couples the chance to reconnect and renew their love and commitment to each other every month. Moreover, mikveh gives couples an opportunity to work on their emotional connection, while the physical is temporarily suspended.

An integral part of a bride’s preparations for a perfect wedding involves immersing herself in a kosher mikveh –– a ritual pool of clean water fed, in part, by a natural water

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source. The mitzvah of mikveh continues for a woman throughout her marriage, as long as she is menstruating.

Known as the “laws of family purity,” the laws surrounding mikveh involve physical separation between a husband and wife from the time a woman secretes uterine blood (from menstruation, childbirth, or certain medical procedures) until she has counted seven “spotless” days, after waiting five days for the blood to abate. On the eve of the seventh spotless day, the woman immerses in a mikveh, ushering in a new phase in her physical relationship with her husband.

Immersion in a mikveh is a mitzvah that has been kept by women throughout the generations, even under great duress and difficult circumstances. From frigid pools in Russia to sandy shores in Mexico, committed Jewish women have practiced the sacred mikveh ritual unstintingly.

Today’s bride need not worry about freezing water or

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CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS 2006

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It is customary for women to pray as they prepare for sand between her toes. Contemporary mikvaot are more the ritual immersion, taking time to center themselves like spas, and women of all ages get royal treatment and focus on beseeching God for divine assistance and when they come to immerse. Cleveland boasts two beaublessing. Special prayers are recited before and after the tiful mikvaot — in Beachwood and Cleveland Heights — immersion, and many women include their own personthat get five-star ratings for cleanliness, comfort, and al prayers as well. Something about the mikveh expericustomer service. ence is transcendent; the vicissitudes of life stop briefly, R., now a mother of three, was nervous to go to the making space for Godliness and peace. mikveh for the first time. Her fears were quickly allayed Much like Shabbat is a welcome gift in a as she saw the serenity and beauty of the hectic, stressful week, mikveh is a small immersion process. Mikveh attendants are Something about sliver of time carved out for married couextremely discreet and careful about modples to maintain their relationship and esty; each woman is given a sparkling the mikveh strengthen their bond. On a lighter note — clean, private room complete with towels, preparing for mikveh is perhaps the one toiletries, and a full bath/shower. Entering experience is time a month that a woman can actually the waters is, in R.’s own words, “magical.” take a bath and comb her hair in peace!

“It’s like being reborn,” she says simply. transcendent.

For couples-to-be, newlyweds, and “seaAnd it is. soned” married couples, mikveh offers an The waters of the mikveh are compared to unbeatable experience, and it’s never too late to give it a the embryonic fluid surrounding the fetus in utero. When try. ❤ a woman immerses herself completely in these “living For free, one-on-one classes on mikveh preparation and waters,” she emerges as a new entity — refreshed and immersion, call Channah Appel at 216-691-0859. reconnected.

Mikvaot in Cleveland A bride-to-be feels this change intuitively. Gone is the • Ahuva Schur Mandelbaum Mikveh, single woman of yesterday; today, she is embarking upon 216-397-1040 a new life — a new union. When a woman immerses, her • Beachwood Chabad Mikveh, entire body must be completely clean of any physical 216-381-3170 barrier that might come between her and the sacred • Charlotte Goldberg Community Mikveh of The Park waters. This utter transparency allows a woman to tap Synagogue, 216-371-2244, ext. 135 into her spiritual essence. She connects with her own • Cleveland Heights Mikveh, 216-397-1040 femininity and the important roles she plays as wife, • Wickliffe Mikveh, 440-585-1640 mother, and daughter of Israel.

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The Charlotte Goldberg Community Mikvah of P ark Synagogue Park 3300 Mayfield Road, Cleveland Heights CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS 2006

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Sheva Brachot

the bride and groom fêted like royalty

A

By RIVA POMERANTZ

According to Jewish tradition, the feasting and fun don’t end as the last guests leave the wedding reception. In fact, the wedding just marks the beginning of seven consecutive days of celebration. Sheva Brachot, literally “Seven Blessings” are the six days following a wedding, where the bride and groom are wined and dined, blessed and praised, by family and friends.

Sheva Brachot was codified in the Talmud (Ketubot 7b) where it’s described as seven days during which the bride and groom revel in their happiness and devotion to each other. On each of these days, they are blessed with the seven blessings which were recited under the chupah during the wedding ceremony.

At each of the Sheva Brachot, a quorum of ten men must be present for the recitation of the blessings –– which is done over a cup of wine. A male guest who has not previously participated either at the wedding or at

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CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS 2006

another Sheva Brachot, is invited.

Since the purpose of Sheva Brachot is to allow the bride and groom to continue uninterrupted celebration of their joy and newfound commitment, the rules are pretty simple and straightforward.

For the newlyweds, it’s basically eat lots of food, greet the guests, and giggle at each other. For those invited to a Sheva Brachot, it’s eat lots of food, mingle and shmooze, and giggle at the newlyweds.

For those who are actually doing the work of arranging a Sheva Brachot, fasten your seatbelts.

There’s no better time to have fun ––and make memories which the bride and groom –– and all participants –– will cherish forever.

Sheva Brachot are generally coordinated by close friends or family members. The six days following the wedding are divided up among the interested participants, with the bride and groom usually supplying the guest lists.

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groom decked out in Often, a couple will use numerous leis and flowers, Sheva Brachot as an opporas they sipped fruit punch tunity to invite guests from coconut halves. whom they could not have at the wedding, either A Sheva Brachot I because of the need to attended spun off the neat limit the wedding guest list fact that the bride held a or because the wedding black belt in karate. All was out of town. paper goods were black, and karate-themed Sometimes, two or tchotchkes adorned the more families will join room. In short, when it together to make one comes to designing a Sheva Sheva Brachot. The larger Brachot theme, anything the pool of organizers, the goes! greater the talent and budget.

Guests are sometimes presented with small takeSheva Brachot come in home gifts. Whether it’s a all shapes, styles, and colbag of ors. Some couthemed cookples are treatSheva Brachot ies or a ed to profesare generally bencher sionally (Grace after catered Sheva coordinated by Meals pamBrachot, held phlet), favors at fancy halls close friends or are a nice finor party centers. But, family members. ishing touch –– and Sheva Brachot they’re a great addition for are just as likely to be held the couple’s wedding memat the home of one of the ory album! A wonderful hosts. Usually, the event way of tying in the wedtakes place in the evening, ding to the Sheva Brachot in sync with the Jewish is to paste copies of the calendar, where the day couple’s newly developed begins at sundown the wedding pictures onto night before. After the benchers to give out at the date, time, guest list, and party. venue are selected, you can go creative with the theme!

The creativity doesn’t stop at the food and accesSheva Brachot are sories. What will be the becoming increasingly program for the evening’s theme-oriented. Recent feast? A litany of speeches, newlyweds were flabbersprinkled with toasts, is gasted by the Chinese just fine for some, but will theme at one of their be unbearably drab for othSheva Brachot. The menu ers. Spice up your Sheva included, among other delBrachot with cute games, a icacies, Chinese Corn juggling act, or musical Soup, Egg Rolls and entertainment. Sing gramDumplings, Fried Rice, men or a rap about the Moo Shoo Chicken, and bride and groom, or share fortune cookies for dessert. baby pictures and anecEnhanced by a red, black dotes about them. But and gold color scheme and whatever you do, let the some Chinese lanterns and spirited liveliness of the chopsticks, the event was a wedding continue during huge hit. each night of Sheva A Hawaiian themed celBrachot. Mazel Tov! ❤ ebration saw the bride and

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CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS 2006

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Rx for rehearsal dinner: casual and fun

By TED STRATTON The real purpose of a rehearsal dinner, say experts, should be a casual get-together for out-of-town guests and the bridal party to get to know each other. The atmosphere should be fun and relaxed, in contrast to the decorum of the next day.

“Remember what the wedding is going to be: a sit down meal, more serious and elegant,” says Amy Bilsky, an event specialist with Party 411 in Cleveland.

“The rehearsal dinner is a good time to go opposite.”

Bilsky herself had an unconventional rehearsal dinner. She got married on the Fourth of July, so she had a patriotic theme. She decorated the Hyde Park restaurant in red, white and blue bunting and served her guests hamburgers and apple pie.

Other couples have created their own themes, says Bilsky. One bride and groom were cookie aficionados, so they ordered custom cookie bouquets with a different theme for each table. “The idea is to base the dinner on something the couple is into.”

While many people choose to have their rehearsal dinners in a hotel for convenience sake, a more interesting idea would be to show off the city by booking a

unique venue. You can hire Lolly the Trolley, says Bilsky, and take your guests to the Rock Hall, Botanical

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CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS 2006

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“Theme” rehearsal dinners, like this one incorporating a patriotic touch, lighten the mood before the big day.

Garden, or Jacobs Field and Cleveland Browns Stadium. “Almost any of those places will have a catering department.”

Unusual ride Couples’ having their rehearsal dinner at Nighttown in Cleveland Heights get a surprise when an authentic London cab picks them up.

Owner Brendan Ring says he found the vehicle at an auction of a defunct cab company in St. Louis. The gimmick works well, he says, because he never tells the couple beforehand about the unique transport.

“After the deal is done, that’s when I do it,” says Ring. “I pick them up and drive them around Shaker

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Lakes or the art museum for a while, with champagne in the back.”

The cab fits in well with Nighttown’s Irish theme.

Ring estimates they do 20-30 rehearsal dinners a month in the busy times of the year, especially now that the patio area, Stephen’s Green, is weatherproofed.

Entertainment fusion The video slideshow has become a staple of rehearsal dinners, but there are other options.

John Lorince of Pickwick & Frolic in Cleveland calls his venue “a cruise ship without water.” For a rehearsal dinner, he can accommodate up to 120 “The atmosphere people who are looking for a little showtime should be fun and with their salad.

Guests watch magirelaxed in contrast cians doing table magic to … the next day.” during dinner and a cabaret of five female Amy Bilsky, Party 411 vocalists perform trendy tunes after. Later, they can enjoy a preferred seat at Hilarities 4th Street Theatre and attend the Midnight Martini show of Rat Pack favorites. “The whole evening feels like you went to four different places,” says Lorince.

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Pickwick & Frolic, left, on East Fourth Street in Cleveland, offers full restaurant facilities and a comedy club, above.

games, but for rehearsal dinner parties, they offer more rarefied entertainment. A popular option is the mystery dinner theater, says special events manager Bridget Bain. The director calls the host ahead of time and mails 10 character descriptions, which are

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assigned to guests. “The whole thing (murder mystery) unfolds over dinner, and everybody gets a chance to figure out who did it.”

Most groups who choose Dave and Buster’s take advantage of the discount on game cards and have fun

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The Best Nightspot on Cleveland's Eastside 28601 Chagrin Blvd. at Eton - 216.591.9559 - Never a Cover Must be 21 email: bossanovacleveland@yahoo.com website: www.bossanovaclv.com 78

CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS 2006

Inhouse Caterer for the Cleveland College Club

2348 Overlook Road, Cleveland Heights, Ohio 44118 216.231.1683

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D: B;J ;L;HOED; M7J9> OEK 8BEEC with the virtual reality, electronic simulator, and ticket-redemption games. They’re especially popular with the males in the group, notes Bain. “The wedding day is mostly for the bride. The rehearsal dinner is more of the guy’s day.â€? â?¤ For more info contact: • Bossa Nova, 216-591-9559 • CafĂŠ 56, 216-464-3090 • The Catering Company, 216-231-1683 • Contempo Cuisine, 216-397-3520 • Dave and Busters, 440-892-1415 • Moxie the restaurant, 216-831-5599 • Mustard Seed Market & CafĂŠ, 440-519-3600 • Nighttown, 216-795-0550 • 100th Bomb Group, 216-267-0649 • Party 411, 216-514-8411 • Pickwick & Frolic, 216-241-9961 • Red the Steakhouse, 216-831-2252 • Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse, 216-595-0809

Diners at Pickwick & Frolic can see a performance at Hilarities, above, or take in a Rat Pack show at the main cabaret, below.

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CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS 2006

79

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Tanglewood Country Club Tanglewood Country Club –– a variety of beautiful rooms and settings for your perfect day.

Outdoor bar, patio and garden.

Banquet facilities for 10-400 people.

Call 440-543-7010 ext. 14.

Party...

The InterContinental Hotel The InterContinental Hotel in Cleveland (216-707-4168) offers impeccable wedding experiences including customized menus, gourmet cuisine, stylish surroundings and detailed service unparalleled in the city.

Mustard Seed Market & Café Mustard Seed Market & Café. A unique natural foods market & café offering catering and reception spaces for special events. Solon: 440-519-3600.

Montrose: 330-666-7333.

Embassy Suites - Beachwood Embassy SuitesBeachwood –– perfect for your wedding reception, out-of-town guests or rehearsal dinner. The area’s only upscale, all-suite, full-service hotel.

216-765-8066.

Hilton Cleveland East/Beachwood At Hilton Cleveland East/Beachwood our receptions get quite the reception.

With over 16,000 sq. ft. of event space for receptions up to 500 people.

216-464-5950.

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CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS 2006

Bossa Nova Serving authentic global cuisine, exotic cocktails and the finest martinis … shaken or stirred. If it’s an event … it’s at Bossa Nova.

Eton Chagrin Boulevard.

216-591-9559.

Cleveland Marriott East Picture your wedding at the Cleveland Marriott East, in our luxurious Ballroom, pampered by personal service to make your day one to remember. Call 216-378-9191.

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The College Club of Cleveland

Ruth’s Chris Steak House Ruth’s Chris Steak House –– expert planning, custom menu options. Our warm hospitality and professional service ensure your wedding shower or rehearsal dinner meets your expectations.

216-595-0809.

The College Club of Cleveland, perfect venue for your special day.

Catered by The Catering Company.

For information visit us at: www.thecol legeclub.org or call 216-231-1683.

Executive Caterers at Landerhaven Exquisite, exciting, exceptional …

Executive Caterers at Landerhaven will create the perfect setting for your special day!

440-449-0700.

Chagrin Valley Athletic Club Make your special day unforgettable at the Chagrin Valley Athletic Club, with personal wedding planners catering to your every need.

440-543-5141.

Park Synagogue Severance Hall

From ceremony to celebration, the wedding of your dreams begins at Park Synagogue. Park Synagogue Main or Park East. Call Wendy at 216371-2244 ext. 135.

Severance Hall, one of Cleveland’s most renowned landmarks, is available for your elegant and distinctive wedding reception, ceremony or photos. Contact Bob Bellamy at 216-231-7421.

The Club at Hillbrook Windows on the River Windows on the River – for the events that matter most! Choose from two spectacular rooms, both offering dazzling views of Cleveland’s skyline.

216-861-1445.

Under the stars or indoors by a grand fireplace, Hillbrook has the perfect setting for your rehearsal dinner or engagement party. Overnight lodging available.

440-247-4940.

CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS 2006

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JCC

Ritz-Carlton, Cleveland

Stonehill Auditorium at the JCC is the perfect place to hold your reception.

For information, call Iris Lorber at 216-831-0700, ext. 1313.

At the Ritz-Carlton, Cleveland, your wedding will feel as unique and special as your undying love for each other. For more information call 216-623-1300.

Executive Caterers at Landerhaven The magic of Landerhaven.

Created exclusively for your wedding day by Executive Caterers at Landerhaven.

440-449-0700.

Contempo Cuisine Elegant Kosher catering for parties large and small. Contempo Cuisine.

216-397-3520.

Sammy’s

RED THE STEAKHOUSE/ Moxie the restaurant

PHOTO / BECK & COMPANY

Rehearsal dinners, weddings, showers.

Private rooms. Off premise catering from 6-600.

Custom menus for any event. RED THE STEAKHOUSE 216-831-2252 or Moxie the restaurant 216-831-5599.

The Bertram Inn & Conference Center

Signature of Solon At Signature of Solon, our dining is world-class.

Our Event Management staff works closely with you to ensure your event will exceed your expectations.

440-498-8888.

82

Sammy’s Myers University Club’s Grand Ballroom with attached outdoor terrace accommodates 250.

Also conference rooms, an executive board room/library, executive dining room and pub.

800-837-5899.

CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS 2006

The Bertram Inn has multiple venues to accommodate 10-500 people.

Toll Free 877-995-0200.

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GOWN BY CATAN’S / CHRISTOPHER NORRIS PHOTOGRAPHY

100th Bomb Group Restaurant & Banquet Facility

Clarion Hotel - Beachwood At the Clarion HotelBeachwood, comfort, elegance and style are what you can expect! For weddings, rehearsal dinners, bar/bat mitzvahs or any occasion.

216-831-5150.

100th Bomb Group Restaurant & Banquet Facility offers private quarters for social and corporate events overlooking Hopkins Airport. Fine Dining, Lounge, Observation Deck, Patios.

216-267-2819.

Glidden House Recently remodeled to reflect its original grandeur, Glidden House is an ideal setting for any celebration. Enjoy luxuriously appointed rooms with the latest sophisticated amenities.

216-231-8900.

Playhouse Square Center Playhouse Square Center – From intimate wedding ceremonies to lavish receptions – we make magic happen! Set the stage for your perfect day.

Contact makemagic@ playhousesquare.com or 216-771-4444.

Hawthorne Valley Country Club Surrounded by Metroparks Reservation, Hawthorne Valley Country Club is an ideal setting conducive to business or social entertaining –– refreshing atmosphere for any occasion.

440-232-1400.

Renaissance Cleveland Hotel Inside Renaissance Cleveland Hotel, Sans Souci offers a warm, inviting atmosphere. San Souci was named “Best French/ Mediterranean Restaurant” by readers of Cleveland Magazine.

216-696-5600.

Cleveland Botanical Garden The lovely Japanese garden at Cleveland Botanical Garden is a favorite spot for wedding ceremonies.

Cleveland Botanical Garden 216-721-1600 www.cbgarden.org.

CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS 2006

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SNEAKpeek PHOTOGRAPHY BY MARC GOLUB

Lindsey Deutsch, robed and ready.

At the end of May, Solon resident Lindsey Deutsch will marry Steve Weinberg of Lyndhurst. We followed Lindsey to b. fazio Salon in Lakewood, where hair stylist and makeup artist Barbara Fazio tried out some sophisticated wedding day looks.

That tickles! An elegant up-do requires teasing and tugging but it’s the best way to set off Lindsey’s beautiful headpiece.

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CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS 2006

Hair designer Barbara Fazio works to reassure brides that she’s capturing their style. “On your wedding day, hair and makeup are the last things you need to worry about.”

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To complement Lindsey’s fair complexion and gorgeous skin, Fazio chooses soft shades and sheer foundation.

Twinkling Rose lip gloss provides a flattering hint of color for a night filled with kisses and good wishes.

“What I go for is a timeless look with classic beauty. My style is all about natural beauty,” says Fazio. “Too much color is overwhelming when you’re wearing white.”

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Cosmo girl with an Orthodox husband?

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By ANDREA KAHN

Seven years ago, had I encountered the woman I am today, I would have pitied her: long sleeves and an anklelength skirt in the middle of summer; no driving, writing, talking on the phone or cooking from sundown Friday until sundown Saturday; recently married to a man she’d never touched – not so much as a peck on the cheek – until after the wedding.

I’d have cringed and dismissed this woman as a Repressed Religious Nut. Now my pity – or at least a patient smile – is for that self-certain Southern California girl I was at 25.

I grew up in Tucson, the older of two daughters, in a typically upper-middle-class, well-educated, liberal Jewish family. My dad is a physician; my mother, active in the local Jewish community. My religious and ethnic identification consisted of fundraising for Jewish causes, Israeli dancing, and Sunday brunches of bagels and lox.

As a gawky 13-year-old, I had a bat mitzvah along with the obligatory party at a posh country club. If God was there, I didn’t notice. The most religious person I knew was my high-school English teacher, a Southern Baptist for whom I wrote polemical essays questioning

all religious beliefs. Through my research and experience (which consisted mostly of listening to Bob Dylan and Pink Floyd, skimming the Marx-Engel’s Reader, and having deep, earnest discussions with friends), I concluded that religion was, at best, irrelevant in an enlightened, late-20th-century world. At 16, I joined the group American Atheists.

But, generally, I did what teenagers do. I spent the scorching Arizona summers watching soap operas and lying by the pool at my friend Annie’s house, comparing tan lines. We crossed the border into Mexico to buy tequila, sneaked into dance clubs with fake IDs, philosophized about life and boys, felt immortal.

I continued my liberal pursuits at college in Philadelphia, and after graduation, I drove my Honda with its “I’m Pro-Choice – And I Vote!” bumper sticker to California. I took advantage of all Los Angeles had to offer: I ate sushi and gelati, played beach volleyball, studied kabbalah, and once went to a “Nam-myohorenge-kyo” chanting session, where a skinny woman with bleached blond hair swore that the incantation had secured her latest role – as victim in a new slasher film.

At the time, I was living in a Beverly Hills basement with a friend, working for the National Organization for Women and helping organize pro-choice rallies. I also

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Though I was at times did stints as aerobics instrucexcited, even ecstatic, I tor, waitress, cashier, SAT rarely remember being tutor. Finally, I entered USC content or truly joyful. as a graduate student in jourThough I believed in spirinalism. tuality, religion was the In the next few years, I “opiate of the masses,” a wrote for the Los Angeles crutch for emotional and Times about miniskirts, paisintellectual weaklings and ley and the plight of L.A.’s conservative Republicans. lovelorn. Then I worked for I favored Tarot cards and Teen magazine, penning endpalm readers and a particless variations of “how to ular psychic who told me I get/dump your guy” stories was Napoleon in a past life. and answering hapless Then one night, a friend teenage girls’ letters in Teen’s Andrea met her husband Aaron through a mutual teacher. and I dropped in on an “Dear Juli” column. While I They were enaged four months later.

Orthodox Jewish gathering loved my spacious office with near my apartment – not its view of the city, I also so much to find enlightenfound the job mind-numbing ment as to meet guys. I don’t recall what, exactly, but and depressing. How many ways, I wondered, could I something the rabbi said resonated. I decided to take a teach a girl to flirt? class. I certainly had no intention of becoming – ick! – MAKING IT religious. I just wanted to learn more about Judaism’s I moved to a “Beverly Hills-adjacent” apartment, comphilosophy and mysticism. plete with ceiling fans and high arches. There I was – 25 As for those archaic laws? How dare anyone tell me years old, finally having achieved the goal: a promising I’m restricted from certain activities because I’m a career, friends, things. Yet I felt as though something woman or that I have to dress a certain way to protect was profoundly lacking – as if I were a Ferrari engine my dignity. stuffed into a VW Bug.

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existence leading to the Ultimate I’m a passionate person. During Existence: insight into which a 25the past seven years, however, I’ve year-old – even one with a persondecided that it may be easier to be al trainer and her own advice colpassionate about the wrong things umn – might not be privy. than the right ones. I thought I was open-minded, thoughtful, yet I realTo the shock of my family, ly just believed what every other which was half-sure I’d been liberal, educated, cultured person I sucked in by a cult, I quit my job, knew believed. I was tolerant of sublet my beautiful apartment, everything except “intolerance.” and traveled to Israel to continue My only absolute was that there my studies. The Torah and its volare no absolutes. umes of commentary address every aspect of the human condiYet, as much as I fought and tion. It proscribes, prescribes and rebelled, I was drawn to the describes in amazing depth and Orthodox world. I recognized somedetail. And it infuses people with thing profound there – the values, the bigness of character and soul I the consciousness, the sensitivity had always admired but rarely to others. I examined my worldAndrea Kahn dances in celebration with the experienced. view and myself in a different way. female guests at her wedding.

I began to see that in a society in THE “FEMALE” QUESTION which individuality, self-determinaI spent many months grappling tion and freedom of choice are the highest values, I had, with the “female” question. So much of what I saw in in fact, been limited by pressures I didn’t even recogthe religious way of life seemed at odds with what I nize. I had been conforming to what’s considered “northought I knew. But at one point I had to ask myself: mal,” its definition changing every few years.

What have I been told by my schooling and my society, Now, for the first time, I understood what I had and what do I really see in the world? What is my expealways felt, that I had an essence, a soul. I glimpsed a rience? higher meaning to life and the infinitely deep layers of My answer: Men and women are significantly, dra-

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matically different, emotionally and physically (and now, I realize, spiritually). Judaism addresses these differences. I looked – really looked – at the religious women around me. I had never met stronger, more emotionally and spiritually refined, capable, loving, non-neurotic women. Or more sensitive, respectful, devoted men. Or more happy, physically intact, caredfor children. I wanted that.

Now, being “religious� frames everything I do, say and strive for. I knew that the man I would marry and I must share the same priorities and values.

My husband and I met in New York, through a mutual teacher who knew us well. I’d spent plenty of time engaged in the rites of Los Angeles-style dating.

This was a whole different ritual. In venturing into this shidduch – which, loosely translated, means “date� – we had agreed to an express purpose. We were to decide if we were a match – and with far less dillydallying than in most modern courtships.

Aaron and I spent hours together eating Chinese food, playing miniature golf and pinball, ice-skating, boating in Central Park. I came to respect his integrity, his strength and his constant striving to do and be better. (And he’s cute!)

Four months after we met, we began a 10-week engagement. (My mother, who had spent a year planning my sister’s nuptials, was aghast.) We never

touched but got to know each other, unclouded by the bond of physical intimacy which so often super-glues the wrong people together.

A Jewish wedding revolves around making the bride and groom happy. After the ceremony, but before the dancing – what exuberant, unabashed dancing! – Aaron and I went to a separate room to spend a few private moments. There, he held my hand for the first time. That small gesture had a richness and intimacy I could never have imagined.

NEW LIFE GOAL I had been living the Cosmo fantasy. Now I feel as if I’ve awakened from a long, sweaty dream. Once I aspired to make it as a writer and perhaps get married and have a kid or two along the way. Today, although I still work as a freelance writer, it is not my identity.

I live in a religious community outside Manhattan, full of the type of people I used to look at with pity, even contempt. My goal is to become like these women: sensitive, strong, fantastic wives and mothers.

Not, as I once thought, because they had been subjugated for centuries and didn’t know better or because they were lacking self-esteem, but because they recognize that the most important thing a person can do is to develop character by giving, building and supporting another. � First appeared in the Los Angeles Times Magazine

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IT TAKES THE CAKE!

090-093_angell_cakes

A

According to legend, a feudal lord announced his upcoming nuptials to a fair lady by sending messengers to the far reaches of his kingdom with fruitcake-like pastries. These heavy, dark cakes served as invitations, rather than desserts.

Today, this tradition has been replaced with a sweeter – and more palatable – confection that is distributed to guests as dessert, not a doorstop.

Wendy Kromer, owner of Wendy Kromer Confections in Sandusky, is widely recognized as one of the leading pastry chefs in the United States. This trend-setting wizard is the creative genius behind the cakes pictured in Martha Stewart Weddings.

“I like to create cakes that won’t go out of style,” says Kromer. “Something elegant, but not over the top, with a

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PHOTO / BETH SEGAL

By SUE ANGELL

clean finish and lots of eye appeal.”

Of course, not every couple is interested in the same style or flavor of cake. Kromer, who perfected her baking skills with some of Europe’s most innovative pastry chefs, says her inspiration for a wedding cake always comes from the bride and groom.

“I like to sit down with my clients and learn everything I can about their wedding plans,” Kromer says.

“That way, I can create a cake that means something to them and fits the reception’s theme.”

One of Kromer’s most stunning confections featured a decorative piping that mimicked the trim of the bride’s gown. Kromer used food coloring to create subtle silver highlights throughout the frosting, then topped the cake with clusters of fresh, red roses.

Richard Catalano, vice-president of the Cleveland-

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PHOTO COURTESY CONTEMPO CUISINE

2/9/06

PHOTO / BETH SEGAL

PHOTO / BETH SEGAL

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Flower garlands and a vintage bride and groom decorate this confection.

Delicate blue flowers scattered over this cake add a touch of color.

based supermarket chain bearing his name, subscribes to the same baking philosophy as Kromer’s. “Today’s wedding cakes are often the focal point of a wedding reception,” he says. “Customers aren’t interested in a cookie-cutter cake. They want a custom-designed confection that is unique to their celebration.”

While the Catalano bakery department specializes in unique wedding cakes, its most requested confection is a cascading cassatta cake – a sponge cake filled with custard and strawberries and topped with Bavarian cream icing. Making this cake truly eye-catching are the

Orchids top this intricately decorated triple-layer cake.

white chocolate shavings sprinkled liberally over the top and cascading down the sides, creating a beautiful waterfall effect.

With bridal magazines touting cakes that look more like sculptures than dessert, how can a couple choose a cake maker who will create something delicious as well as beautiful? Susie Strom, owner of Susie’s Sweets in Solon, suggests asking family members and friends to recommend their favorite bakery.

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PHOTO COURTESY CATALANO’S

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Flowers cascade down the surface of this cassata cake.

cake,” Strom says. “If people are happy with a bakery, they’re going to tell you about it. That way, you can be sure your cake will look nice and taste good.”

Today’s Internet-savvy brides often surf the Web or search online forums for pictures of the perfect wedding cake, which they expect bakers to duplicate. But nothing can replace a face-to-face consultation, where the bride and groom can taste slices of cake and tap into a baker’s experience to create a one-of-a-kind confection.

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Michael Feigenbaum, the owner of Lucy’s Sweet Surrender, plies his customers with different combinations of cakes, fillings, and frostings during a “tasting.” He often asks couples to consider the preferences of wedding guests, as well as dietary restrictions or allergies, when choosing a cake for their wedding reception.

“Many couples start off with a radical idea but tone it down to something more traditional in order to suit their guests,” he says.

Traditional doesn’t have to mean boring. Feigenbaum often blends the traditional with surprising new flavors, such as a simple yellow cake with a key lime filling. Or, he uses fruit syrups and seedless preserves to add dimension and give his cakes a unique flair.

In recent years, chocolate cakes have become extremely popular at wedding receptions across the country. For serious chocolate lovers, Kromer recommends her sinfully delicious Valrhona chocolate cake with a ganache filling and a Swiss meringue butter cream icing infused with rich Valrhona chocolate.

But not all wedding guests are chocaholics. In fact, a dessert as rich as this one may intimidate those with simpler palates.

“A wedding cake should appeal to the bride and groom as well as to their guests,” says Kromer.

“Alternating a chocolate cake layer with a white butter

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cake layer is a great way to satisfy everyone at the reception.”

Most bakers acknowledge that simple, white wedding cakes are a relic of the past. Today’s cakes are often iced to match the bridesmaids’ gowns and are decorated with fresh flowers, ivy, or ribbons. Many brides are choosing to have their cake frosted with fondant, a powdered sugar and water icing that creates a smooth, satiny finish.

The shape of wedding cakes has also evolved. Round cakes have fallen out of favor and have been replaced with square or rectangular cakes. Tiers are often placed one on top of the other, rather than being separated by columns.

Many brides are requesting cake tiers that alternate shapes, or are placed off-center and at an angle to the previous one.

“Most brides have a pretty good idea of how they want their cake to look,” says Helen Weiser, manager of Lax & Mandel Bakery in South Euclid. “Many of them will bring in a picture of a wedding cake from a magazine and ask us to duplicate it. With a few exceptions, we can duplicate almost any cake.”

“A wedding cake is much more than a dessert,” says Strom. “Each one is as different as the individual bride and groom and is a unique reflection of their love and devotion to each other.” ❤

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Run Avril Run

A primer for wedding reception music

By ALAN SMASON

Y

You’ve booked the venue for your special day, and you’ve decided on the caterer. The bride’s and bridesmaids’ dresses have been chosen. The groom and his party are set to go. The reception promises to be a smashing affair.

You’ve only overlooked one detail that could make or break your party: The music.

If you and your fiancé(e) are serious about having a good time, then the last thing you want to worry about on your wedding day is the music.

First it is crucial that you decide what type of musical entertainment your event requires. If it’s a grand affair at a hotel or large reception hall, a large performing group will be de rigueur. However, if the guest list numbers less than 200, a disc jockey or small combo may be more affordable and more appropriate.

If you’ve set your sights on a popular band, they will probably have bookings each week of the year, some-

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times two bookings in one day.

“We book up to a year and a half in advance,” says Evan Traub of Master Music Entertainment. “We do recommend that as soon as you book your venue, you call your entertainment provider.”

“They should call us the second after the kid gets engaged,” insists Bert Stratton of the popular ensemble Yiddishe Cup. “Otherwise we might already be booked.”

Typically, you’ll be required to place a deposit or pay for the act in its entirety at least six months in advance.

Often, a contract must be executed. Spell out the times you expect the musicians to arrive and how long you require their services. Ask them about everything, including dress requirements and length and number of breaks.

A disc jockey or small combo should be attired in a professional manner. At the very least, they should wear suits or, if possible, a tuxedo. Similarly, women should

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be dressed in a formal or semi-formal fashion.

Avril Burg of Run Avril Run knows from years of experience what bridal couples expect. “We’re either in black tuxedos or all black,” she says, “ I’m always in a black dress and black heels.”

So, how do you determine which band or disc jockey to book? It’s easy if you follow a few common sense tips.

Many bands will have videotapes of prior performances or audio tapes to give you a sampling of the selection and type of music they’re capable of performing. Ask if they have such a tape and view it with your fiancé(e). You can ask when and where they’re performing and “visit” that celebration to sample the group’s style and sound.

Stratton explains that a typical wedding for his group spans six hours, starting with the ceremony, followed by a cocktail hour and finishing with the reception. “We go right from the cocktail hour to a hora.

That sets the mood for the rest of the party.”

Disc jockeys are an affordable alternative to live musicians for your reception. They may also be able to play music more specifically geared to your crowd.

DJs, or entertainers, can play audio discs (DVDs or CDROMs) as well as MP3s through computer systems.

Consult with the group or DJ about what specific songs you want played at the reception. Consider the guest list and what musical tastes you think they’ll enjoy, but keep in mind what you will require as well.

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Yiddishe Cup, a very popular live ensemble, does it all.

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“The consultation is important because of the comfort level between the entertainer and the bride and groom,” says Traub of Master Music Entertainment.

“Everybody knows what’s going to happen, and you know what to expect.”

Burg of Run Avril Run also says that music planning begins with knowing the guest list. “I always ask the bride and groom the age demographics of the guests,” she says. “That tells us the generation and the kind of music that they’ll want to hear.”

Some entertainers have playlists they’ll provide once a contract is signed. Take advantage of these so that you know what is offered.

“We don’t provide playlists, because it’s limiting,” says Traub, who boasts of an extensive 5,000 song selection availability at each affair.

If you have specific requests, ask the DJ or group leader if he can fill them for you. Most are happy to do so if they have enough advance notice. But remember that sheet music can be expensive. If a leader is asked to provide a special arrangement, you may be asked to help defray the costs.

Just as important as your request list is a list of songs you do not want played. If you don’t want to hear “The Macarena” or gangsta rap music, spell it out in

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CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS 2006

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Celebrate Special Events with Live Music will have a better time if you’ve advance. Don’t expect that they done your research and booked the know your dislikes unless you tell right kind of musical entertainment them prior to the reception. for your very special Often live ensembles affair. ❤ can respond to a crowd For additional inforvery effectively. “We get Your crowd will mation on featured everybody up and movhave a better artists, consult their webing,” says Stratton. “And at www.runavrilthey’re happy that we time if you do sites run.com, www.selecprovide more than just five minutes of Jewish your research tivesound.com, www.musicmasterentercircle dancing.” tain ment.com, and Finally, make sure the www.yiddishecup.com. bridal dance, parents’ dance and Alan Smason has worked as a wedding-party dance are chosen in professional disc jockey in New advance. Live bands and good proOrleans for 25 years and also served fessional disc jockeys can make as an online host for the Microsoft those dances go smoothly. In addiNetwork (MSN) giving advice to wedtion, it’s important to let them know ding couples about music and recepif you are planning on a bridal boutions. quet and garter toss and if you’ll want special songs to be played at • Master Music Entertainment, the cake cutting or when the couple 877-435-3338 leaves.

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“You’re with style, flairinvited” & originality

S

PHOTOS COURTESY A.L. WAIN CO.

By RACHEL HOSKINS

Stylish and sophisticated by nature, classy and gorgeous by design. If the traditional wedding invitation were a woman, she’d be practically the model of perfection.

She’d also bore us to death with her predictable styles.

But predictability is no longer the only option in wedding invitation design. In the last few years there has been an increase in invitation options, ranging from choosing colored fonts for the wording to out-of-the-box ready-to-send invites in any shape, size, color, or design a bride could want.

Amy Garnitz, owner of A.L. Wain Co., an invitation and stationary company in Shaker Heights, still does more traditional than non-traditional invitations. But she is seeing an increase in brides’ favoring newer styles.

For years, the options were white or off-white, said Garnitz. “(Now) people want their invitations to represent their personalities.”

Luscious Verde Cards, a national company based in Cleveland, is one of Garnitz’s favorites for non-traditional styles. Fun fonts and card designs in every color imaginable fill the pages of their sample book.

One invitation, a pink card adorned with a blue flower, is a stair-step of five paper layers held together with an eyelet attachment. The layers, which can be labeled “Rehearsal,” “Location,” “Reception,” swing to the sides to reveal information about the wedding.

Several wedding programs in the Luscious Verde collection are designed this way as well.

Brides who want a non-traditional, but still formal,

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Today’s invitations offer a wide variety of papers, fonts and special treatments to personalize invitations. invitation, tend to use colors as accents and cards that are horizontal instead of vertical.

This year’s color trends are crimson and chocolate brown.

These bold colors are reserved for envelope interiors, font colors and layered backgrounds. For the formal invite, white is still employed as the base coat.

However, more adventurous brides are choosing base or layered papers in dark brown, or slightly metallic colors. Sometimes called “Shimmers,” this color palette goes well with the chocolate brown trend and is perfect for fall or winter weddings.

Bows and lace are also a huge hit. These fancy extras are the specialty of Judie Weiss-Katz, owner and designer of Cleveland-area Katz Kollection cards.

“I get a lot of requests for the fancier cards. Lace and Victorian (styles are) very popular,” said Weiss-Katz, a

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At Exclusive Invites of Beachwood, owner Amy painter who assembles and paints each of her designs Finkenthal concurred. by hand.

“People try to pick out a nice stock and keep it tradiOne of her favorites is an engagement card with multional. Most of my customers are pretty much going by tiple hearts and a lady’s and a gentleman’s hat on the the book,” she said. front. Inside, a large heart rests in the center of a stock market index For the traditionalists, a host of with the words “Darling, even in a white cards are available almost bull market, I still love you.” anywhere, many of them at budget prices compared with the bells Weiss-Katz creates watercolor and whistles of a non-traditional designs that can either be handcard. Each ribbon, color and layer painted individually or copied from is an additional cost. the original.

“This is an opportunity to do The more decorated the invitasomething very different,” said tion, the higher the cost, she points Weiss-Katz. If you can afford it, out. Her designs start at $7 per invi“it’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportutation and range up to more than nity.” ❤ $18.50 each. Add calligraphy costs, and you have a one-of-a-kind, personalized card, but at a hefty price.

For more information on invitaBob Gentile, owner of Sensational Layered papers give a custom look. tions: • The A.L. Wain Co., 216-751-2999 Celebrations in Beachwood said most of his customers are opting not to send invitations • Exclusive Invites, 216-831-1266 with a personalized flair.

• Katz Kollection Cards, 440-729-8006 • Noteriety, 216-839-0000 “We offer contemporary designs, but we don’t see a • Sensational Celebrations, 216-292-1836 lot of them purchased,” he said. His customers mainly • Sisters of Celebrations, 216-464-8442 want flat vertical cards in either white or off-white.

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Cleveland Jewish News

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CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS 2006

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Brides’ bouquets reflect subtle changes

By NOELLE BYE

PHOTO / RAYMOND CHENG-BEST IMAGE PHOTOGRAPHY

Bouquets by Prestige Floral

Page 3

PHOTO / RUTH DeCURTIS THE POSITIVE NEGATIVE

PHOTO / MYRON PHOTOGRAPHIC ELEGANCE

F

Flower shop owners hear the same questions from brides and their moms every year: “What flowers are popular?” “What designs are in vogue?” “What colors are other brides using?” Bart Brunswick, owner of Brunswick Florist, has one response for all of them: “Bridal bouquets just don’t change that much from year to year.”

That’s not to say Brunswick and his team don’t strive for unique designs. In fact, the veteran florist never photographs his arrangements, so he won’t risk duplicating a design.

But generally, bridal bouquets are a lot like new cars these days,

PHOTO / MYRON PHOTOGRAPHIC ELEGANCE

PHOTO / RAYMOND CHENG-BEST IMAGE PHOTOGRAPHY

PHOTO / THOMAS & THOMAS PHOTOGRAPHY

9:19 AM

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2/9/06

PHOTO / POLLACK STUDIO

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Brunswick says: Changes from year to year are subtle at best.

Take the flowers themselves, for example. For roses, things always look, well, rosy. Florists agree they’re still the most popular flower for wedding bouquets. Calla lilies, orchids and Lilies of the Valley run close behind.

And there’s nothing wrong with that, insists Brunswick. “Elegant has always been elegant.� “Who wants a trendy wedding?� he adds. “Who wants (other) people to look back at their wedding album and say, ‘Oh, you got married in 2004?’�

But some fads have sprouted. Several florists agree that today the round, tighter bouquets are more popular than long, cascading arrangements. If brides do go with a bigger bouquet, they usually select a teardrop cascade over the larger cascades of the past, says Tina Gudin, owner of Prestige Floral.

Along with tried and true roses, Gudin says a number of brides are starting to request roses combined with another flower, in particular stephanotis. These tiny white flowers have a small hole in them, perfect for holding a pearl or Gudin’s own specialty, Swarovski crystals

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Herbal bouquets don’t often make a trip down the aisle. Occasionally, a bride may select an herb if it has sentimental value to her, Gudin says, or she’ll use more herbs if she wants a garden look.

Brunswick feels an herbal bouquet might work well if you’re having a wedding in an outdoor setting in the country.

In the past, brides often chose only white flowers for their bouquets. Today, the few brides who choose all white initially, often fall under the spell of brighter colors, Gudin says.

Ric Eickhoff, owner of Palermo Florists, thinks multicolored bouquets can distract attention from the bride’s gown; he prefers to use ivory-colored flowers to complement a bride’s attire. “I just think of (flowers) as a finishing touch,� he says.

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PHOTO COURTESY DUFFY’S FLOWERS AND PLANTS

her dress design and personal tastes into consideration to But when you’re working with the real deal, you’d have to start over with a new flower. come up with the best arrangement. “You have to lead them (the brides) into the right direction,” says Glenn Actually, if done right, silk flowers can look as good as Gali, owner of Gali’s Florist & Garden. the real thing – provided you’re willing to spend three times as much for Here’s another puzzler for you: real them, Brunswick says, demolishing or fake? It’s not a hard decision for the silk-on-a-budget theory. florists: Bridal bouquets not only have to Brunswick: “I love silk flowers – in look pretty, they need to be able to a furniture store.” withstand a lot of jostling and other Eickhoff: “If there’s one day a coupossible abuse by the wedding party, ple should have real flowers, it’s on Gali notes. their wedding day.”

Thanks to all the bridal magaGudin: “No fake flowers.” zines, Internet sites and TV shows Few florists will even do silk on weddings, brides are becoming arrangements, and most brides do opt more and more sophisticated every for the real thing. Those who want a year, Brunswick observes. permanent floral souvenir might graviSophisticated or not, he adds, “Good tate toward silk, Gali says. That said, taste is good taste.” ❤ fresh flowers can be dried as a keepsake, but certainly aren’t guaranteed to As an alternative to a bouquet, a bride might choose a floral headpiece.

For more information last, he admits. on beautiful blooms: Sometimes brides on a budget con• Palermo Florists, 216-381-8050 sider silk because it seems cheaper, and technically • Prestige Floral, 216-595-8910 they’d be right, Brunswick says. Anyone, he feels, can • Brunswick Florist, 216-421-4800 make a silk arrangement without formal training. For • Flowers by Stazzone, 216-831-6733 one thing, if you make a mistake, like cutting a stem too • Gali’s Florist & Garden, 216-921-1100 short, you can just glue another stem onto it, he explains.

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PHOTOS COURTESY ALSON JEWELERS

With this bling...

Traditional diamonds and gold still sparkle for Clevelanders

By MARGI HERWALD

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PHOTO COURTESY ROBERT & GABRIEL JEWELERS

brides still opt to include small diamonds as trim. “As a Princess Di’s sapphire. J-Lo’s enormous pink diaprice consideration, (other gem stones are) not the less mond. Catherine Zeta-Jones’s 10-carat marquise. expensive route,” he says.

Celebrity jewelry may be reaching new and unique Jewelers agree that far and heights of “bling,” but for the brides away, the most popular cuts of and grooms of the real world, tradidiamonds are the traditional tional diamonds and metals are still round and princess cuts. the way to go for wedding bands and engagement rings.

The princess cut, while square in shape, has the “Most women think past the faceting and brilliance of a trends,” says Mike Auletta of Gino’s round stone, Botnick explains.

Jewelers. “She knows that ring will In his experience, the princess be on her finger for the rest of her appeals to the youngest brides. life.”

On the other hand, he notes, the Diamonds are forever ever-popular round cut will look When it comes to engagement bigger than a princess-cut stone rings, yes, diamonds still are a girl’s of the exact same weight once it best friend. has been set.

The trendy gems that grace the Some brides do opt for the pages of In Style or Elle magazines trendy diamond cuts du jour. are “only a passing fancy,” observes Recently, that trend has been New designs offer brides clean lines and Dan Friedman of Maple Jewelers in the Asscher cut, similar to the classic styles in diamonds, platinum and gold.

Solon. “When it comes down to it, it’s old-fashioned, rectangular always the diamond.” emerald cut, but with softer corBruce Botnick of Robert & Gabriel ners for more radiance and reflection.

Jewelers in Lyndhurst estimates that less than 5% of The Asscher is hot right now, but “I’ve been doing brides have their eye on a non-traditional center stone this long enough to know that in six months to a year, it such as a sapphire or ruby. And in those rare cases,

2/9/06

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PHOTO COURTESY ALSON JEWELERS

PHOTO COURTESY ALSON JEWELERS

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When selecting a stone, couples should be mindful of the four C’s: color, cut, carat and clarity. Choosing the size (number of carats) and cut of the stone is a personal decision based on one’s preferences, and, jewelers agree, anything goes.

When it comes to level of clarity, Botnick notes that the differences in a stone’s internal structure can be miniscule. “If they’re on a budget, most people would rather have more for their money than a higher level of purity in the stone.� He advises paying close attention to

color. “The whiter the stone, the brighter it appears.�

It’s the combination of “cut and color that give a diamond its brilliance,� agrees Auletta. “There are ways to cut a diamond for maximum weight, but that almost always means sacrificing maximum reflection and brilliance.�

Shoppers also should be mindful of their ring’s origin, Auletta cautions. Some designer jewelry lines are actually mass-produced overseas in countries like China. Neither the stone nor the setting is guaranteed to be as pure or as durable as couples assume they are.

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There are several standards and benchmarks by which the color and clarity of stones are judged, the most rigorous of these being the GIA reports, says Auletta. Before purchasing a designer ring, ask about these standards, he urges. “Better jewelers will know, and they will tell you.”

Gold digger When it comes to engagement ring settings, “Cleveland has come around to the more traditional,” says Botnick. That means white gold.

There is still a “prestige to buying platinum,” Botnick says, although Auletta notes the fervor over this durable, but more expensive, metal has died down a bit since it was all the rage a few years ago.

“We are migrating back to white gold,” he confirms.

The three-stone look – a larger central diamond with two smaller stones on the side – is the popular look right now, Auletta says. His clients gravitate toward the “antiquey” look, with small diamonds set into the shanks surrounding the central stone.

All those stones can really add up in cost. When price is a consideration, many couples eschew the extra glit-

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ter of side stones and opt for the classic solitaire setting, says Friedman. He sees his clients choosing “a little wider, more substantial band,” rather than the thinner mounting of the Tiffany setting in which the diamond “looks like it’s floating.”

Other couples seek to jazz up their single stone with a “cathedral setting,” which Friedman describes as side shanks that curve up underneath where the center diamond is set.

Both platinum and white gold can show wear, graying or yellowing over time. Also, shanks can bend and stones can loosen in their settings.

“Everyone needs to have jewelry polished and checked over time,” stresses Botnick. Most professional jewelers provide these services.

The band plays on “Straight-forward and symmetrical” is how Friedman describes today’s favored wedding bands.

Both men and women want simple bands in white gold or platinum. A carved design in the metal can spice up the band, but usually stones and fancy decorations are reserved for the engagement ring.

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CJN WEDDING REVISED PDF !-

add more bling to his wedding band, men rarely look to add stones to their rings, notes Auletta. “Most guys are going conservative.�

Men like their wedding bands wider, he adds, between 6-8 mm.

Grooms are also trying out “newer metals� such as titanium and tungsten carbide in addition to gold and platinum. Tungsten carbide “has a dark, silvery look, and it’s virtually indestructible. Guys love it,� Auletta says.

A plain wedding band is preferred for a Jewish wedding ceremony, Botnick notes. In the Jewish tradition, making one’s vows with a band that has no gemstones or excessive ornamentation symbolizes a marriage that is free from frivolity.

Sometimes the “Jewish crowd� opts to purchase two wedding bands, a plain one for the ceremony and daily wear and a more decorative one for going out on the town.

No matter what kind of band a

couple starts out with on their wedding day, there’s always opportunity to upgrade. “Frequently I find that after someone’s been married 10 years, more honesty creeps in,�

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CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS 2006

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Challah boards to havdalah sets: Top ten ritual items for the Jewish home

BY STEPHANIE GARBER

W

While cappuccino makers and Egyptian cotton sheets are luxurious additions to any home, there are certain items newlyweds will need to ensure theirs is a Jewish home. Ritual objects, some used daily and others just a few times a year, are tangibles connecting us to the roots of our past and ensuring continuity for the future.

With the help of Channah Appel, director of NCSY and the Israel Culture Clubs, and her daughter Devorah Goldblatt, the CJN has compiled a list of the top ritual items Jewish couples will need. • A mezuzah on the frame of the front door announces to all that this is a Jewish home; more importantly, it fulfills a mitzvah, or commandment. All inhabitable rooms in the home also require a mezuzah, so the newlyweds will certainly want more than one or two.

Mezuzot covers come in a range of styles from inexpensive, clear acrylic to those crafted of precious metals and gems. Even more important than the exterior is what’s inside the mezuzah – the scroll. “Put your money into the parchment, as well� suggests Appel. “The scroll has to be made of parchment, and it has to be at least

four inches by four inches,â€? so it’s readable in order to be kosher.â€? • “Honeyâ€? is more than just an endearing term starry-eyed newlyweds call each other. It’s also a food Jews dip apples and challah into every Rosh Hashanah for a sweet new year. For this annual simchah, the newlyweds will want a honey dish. It will certainly get a lot of use, because most Ashkenazi Jews use honey instead of salt with their challah all the way through Succot, Appel explains. • For the Jewish couple, a seder plate and matzoh cover are more important than a turkey platter and gravy boat. Thanksgiving may date back to the time of the pilgrims, but we’ve been thanking G-d for our freedom for millennia!! • Oh Chanukah, oh Chanukah, come light the menorah. To do so, you have to have one – so this ritual item certainly makes our top ten list! Menorahs today can be elegant, simple, whimsical or innovative. Devorah laughs that while she and her husband David received honey dishes in abundance, no one thought to give them a menorah. The couple had fun selecting one themselves

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wine cups for others at the before celebrating their first Shabbat table.

Chanukah as Mr. and Mrs. Goldblatt.

Traditionally, we say the challah is covered while the blessing • The Sabbath, it has been said, is recited over the wine so the has kept the Jews more than the challah is not ashamed that it is Jews have kept the Sabbath. And blessed second. Of course, with so, no Jewish home today would those plump, golden loaves restbe complete without ritual items ing on a decorative challah for the Sabbath. board (with its accompanying Like her mother, grandmothknife) under a beautiful silkers and great-grandmothers screened or hand-stitched chalbefore her, Devorah, ushers in the lah cover, one can only hope that Shabbath by lighting candles set the wine doesn’t get jealous. in her Shabbat candlesticks.

• Like all good things, this list Hers were a wedding gift from must come to an end. But so does her maternal grandmother.

Devorah and David Goldblatt received honey Shabbat. To mark that definition “The custom is often for the dishes but no menorahs as wedding gifts. They in time, the couple will need a grandmother of the bride or chose one themselves for their new home. havdalah set, which consists of groom to buy the candlesticks,” a braided candle, candle holder, explains Appel. “So, every time spice box and matching tray. Like all the other items you light your candles, you think of bubbe.” mentioned, these are available at local Jewish book• Just as the bride says a blessing over the candles stores. ❤ every week, the groom will recite kiddush over the wine. For that, he’ll need a kiddush cup, or a kiddush set which, in addition to the kiddush cup, includes little

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Lasting memories

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tography.”

Documentary-style photography strives to capture the newlyweds at their most candid times.

“By capturing moments and expressions, you’re filling in many details of a wedding day that previously were overlooked,” says Stein.

Digital technology has also improved the final product.

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After the bouquet is tossed and the last crumb of cake is swept away, how can couples keep their wedding-day memories alive?

New ideas in documenting the day can tell the wedding story in vivid detail, from the proposal to choosing the gown to saying, “I do.”

Photography The industry has seen many changes over the years in terms of creativity and technology.

“The transition from wedding photos as a series of portraits to capturing actual moments in a photojournalistic style began a little over 10 years ago,” says Studio Paris owner Joseph Stein, a San Diego-based photographer. “It’s now the most requested type of wedding pho-

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© 2006 RCSH All Rights Reserved

has taken photography in a different direction. His company furnishes old-fashioned photo booths – the retro, black-and-white booths once found at malls and theme parks.

“We already felt there was something magical about the photo booth,” says Klein. “Then we tried it at a couple of weddings, and we knew we had something very special.”

Klein provides a scrapbook coordinator who places the photos into an acid-free archive-quality scrapbook and encourages the wedding guests to write their best wishes next to the images. Guests are also welcome to take photos home as party favors.

Scrapbooking Scrapbooking itself has become a national hobby, if not obsession.

But the time-consuming work that goes into such projects isn’t for everyone – especially a time-stressed bride.

That’s where Cynthia Heigold comes in. Heigold is the founder of StoryLife, an online scrapbooking

Page 3

site that allows a busy bride, or anyone celebrating a special occasion, to create save-the-date cards, announcement cards and scrapbooks with a few quick clicks of the mouse.

“We have this innate desire to document the stories of our lives,” says Heigold. “The majority of scrapbookers are women; they’re the memory keepers in the family. We’re providing them with lots of opportunities to quickly and creatively capture and share life’s special occasions with really cool art, combined with their own pictures and their own words.” ❤ Copley News Service

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with family recipes

By BEVERLY LEVITT

W

We’re always busy showering the bride-to-be with high-tech food processors, mixers and blenders, most of which weren’t even invented when we were getting married. How lovely it would be to also bestow family history, traditions and ‌ recipes at a shower attended by family and friends.

Throughout my daughters’ lives, whenever the family celebrated simchahs, Great-grandma Ceil brought the brisket and carrot tzimmes – the recipe she’d gotten from her mother-in-law, who brought it from the Old Country.

Great-aunt Jane would bring the Armenian spice cake, a favorite of her mother’s, from a cookbook published in 1944, and Grandma Diane would whip up nutri-

PHOTOS / JULIE SIEGEL

Showering your daughter Great-grandma Celia Levitt prepares her carrot tzimmes for family celebrations. tious, yet memorable salads to pay homage to her mother’s healthful cooking repertoire.

As family members get older, we want to hold onto their unique food traditions so we can pass them along to our children as they set up homes of their own.

My mother was keeper of the kingdom for both my grandma’s and great-grandma’s recipes. For years I’ve struggled with the Ashkenazi delicacies from Poland and Russia, which all but shout, “Mmmm ... we’re home.� These dishes have soul, and to me, nobody makes them like my mother.

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Pamela Hensley Vincent admits she wrote JewishSicilian Cookbook (Overlook Press, 2004) not because she’s the world’s greatest cook, but to pay tribute to her parents, grandparents and husband. “I had a childhood filled with so much beauty, I needed to say thank you to all of them,” she said wistfully.

The chapters have one-word titles – Yetta, Manny, Gail, Jack, and Duke – with photos, remembrances, and recipes. The photos show each relative when they were young, as they got older, and finally, the last few photos she’d taken of them.

It’s hard not to feel closer to your family just looking at hers.

“Grandma Yetta clearly influenced my decision, 40 years later, to write down the recipes,” says Hensley Vincent. She treasures memories of her family gathered around Yetta’s immaculate, white-clothed dining table, laughing, arguing, imploring the family matriarch to stop “hovering” and just sit down.

Washington, D.C., artist Mindy Weisel preserves her mother’s old-world traditions, handing them down to her three daughters to nourish their own families. She feels close to her mother Lili Deutsch as she lights the sterling-silver candlesticks every Shabbat, just as her mother did in Hungary before the Holocaust.

Her mother missed her beautiful home so much that when the Deutschs moved to America, she needed everything to be as it was “in der hym” – in her home in the

An affair to Remember...

Old Country.

“It was my mother’s fierce desire to keep the beauty that existed before the war alive,” says Weisel, who was born in the DP camp in Bergen-Belsen, Germany. Just as Hensley Vincent’s cookbook reflects the love she felt for her family, Weisel’s paintings evoke the essence of her mother’s stories and her feelings.

Weisel remembers her mother’s joy in making wonderful meals for her family. For the Jewish holidays especially, Wiesel cooks her mother’s favorite Hungarian dishes – chicken paprikash and veal goulash.

Like Hensley Vincent, Weisel also published a cookbook, The 7-Day Color Diet (Capital Books, 2003), and included her mother’s signature Hungarian recipes.

“My mother was a wonderful cook, but it was hard getting recipes from her,” Weisel laughs. “Everything she cooked was by feel. That’s the way I cook, too.”

She also learned that setting a beautiful Shabbat and holiday table makes the family feel they are observing something special. Weisel sets her table with a beautiful lace tablecloth and porcelain china embossed with roses, and it looks eerily similar to the dining table of her childhood.

“When you sit down to write about people you love, it just flows out of you,” Hensley Vincent says. “I visited haunts both magical and sorrowful. As I went along, I recognized the cookbook was, in fact, a scrapbook locked away all those years.” ❤

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Scrapbooking and cookbooking

S

Share with cousins, nieces and in-laws the delightful “chore” of creating a family album, complete with photographs, a collection of experiences, and favorite family recipes.

Have a dedicated tape recorder and always keep it with you. The best conversations are usually impromptu. Be sure to label each tape. Ask for photos so you can have a pictorial chronology.

Explain to your mother, grandmother or aunt that you want to learn how to make some of their favorite recipes. Gather the ingredients and get in the kitchen together. Just as many older people love talking about their past, they’ll be flattered to conduct a cooking demonstration. As they’re throwing in a pinch of this and a handful of that, before the ingredient hits the bowl, carefully measure each item. Even if you have to adjust the amounts later, you’ll have a base with which to begin.

In the process, you’ll learn family history and unique cooking techniques, many of which are already part of your everyday repertoire, even though you haven’t a clue how they got there. While your family album may not cry out to be published, it’s the most personal shower gift you can give your daughter or future daughter-in-law. Hopefully, it will inspire the next generation to continue the tradition. ❤

Great-grandma Celia Levitt’s Brisket and Carrot Tzimmes Every year Mama surprises us with unexpected ingredients in her tzimmes –– pumpkin, apples, raisins, dried apricots or cherries. This is actually a side dish. Baked brisket and chicken are the main events. Makes 6 servings. oil 1 lb brisket, with a small amount of fat left on 2 onions, sliced 5 cloves garlic, chopped 2 sweet potatoes, peeled and grated 5 carrots, peeled and grated 2 white potatoes, peeled and grated 1 parsnip, peeled and grated 2 stalks celery, diced 1 C pitted prunes, soaked in water (reserve water) Kosher salt and pepper to taste 1/2 t. paprika Lemon juice 1 t brown sugar In large Dutch oven, heat oil over medium heat, add brisket, turning to brown; add onions and garlic; cook a few minutes until golden. Add enough water to cover, bring to boil, reduce heat to low and simmer 2 hours. Transfer meat to cutting board; slice into 1/2” pieces, return to pot. Add remaining vegetables, prunes, (including the water they’re soaked in) salt, pepper, paprika and lemon juice. Sprinkle brown sugar on top. Bake in preheated 375˚ oven an hour longer. Meat should be so tender it can be cut with a fork.

Henrietta’s Salad with Duke’s Russian Dressing Adapted from The Jewish-Sicilian Cookbook

by Pamela Hensley Vincent. Makes 4 servings.

1 large head organic iceberg or romaine lettuce 3 carrots, peeled and thinly sliced into sticks 3 stalks celery, trimmed and thinly sliced into sticks 6 whole scallions, trimmed 1 large beefsteak tomato, in wedges 1 medium cucumber, sliced into thick rounds 2 hard-boiled eggs, peeled and cut in quarters

Russian dressing

Guests create their own salad combination and top it off with Russian dressing.

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Juice of 1 lemon 2 T apple cider vinegar 1 garlic clove, crushed 1 t Heinz chili sauce 1/4 C olive oil 1 t Lawry’s® seasoned salt Pinch of sugar Place lettuce leaves, carrot and celery sticks, scallions, tomato wedges, cucumber slices and hard-boiled eggs artfully on a ceramic tray in the middle of the dining table.

For the Dressing: In a small bowl combine all ingredients and mix well. Family or guests will make their own salads by taking vegetables which please them and tossing them with dressing.

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Chicken Paprikash Adapted from a recipe by Mindy Weisel’s mother Lili Deutsch in The 7-Day Color Diet. Makes 4 servings.

1 large onion, sliced 1/2 lb cremini mushrooms, halved 1 T olive oil or as needed 4-1/2 lb chicken, cut into quarters 2 to 3 large cloves garlic, peeled and pressed 1 to 2 t salt 1 t freshly ground black pepper 2 t imported paprika 2 t dried basil, crushed 1 t dried oregano 1/2 t rosemary (optional) 1 C good white wine 2 T tomato paste

Family recipes give brides a link to the past as they start their new married life.

Preheat oven to 350˚. Sauté onion and mushrooms in oil until light golden brown. Rub chicken with fresh garlic; season with salt, pepper, paprika, basil, oregano, and rosemary. Place chicken pieces in casserole; cover with onions and mushrooms. Mix together wine and tomato paste; pour over chicken. Bake for 1 1/4 hours or until chicken is no longer pink. Baste chicken several times while it is baking. After 45 minutes, check the chicken breast; if it’s done, remove it from pan to prevent it from drying out.

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STELLAR honeymoons

By ARLENE FINE

T

The awesome wonders of Niagara Falls coupled with honeymoon suites featuring heart-shaped beds and other amenities continue to attract countless newlyweds. But travel agents are also quick to suggest a bevy of other honeymoon hot spots that provide unforgettable days and nights.

“When two people are in love, any place can be romantic,” says Carol Weinstock, a veteran travel agent for Professional Travel. “Whether they pitch a canvas tent at a state park or reserve the bridal suite at the Ritz-Carlton in Paris, the magic ingredient is always the newly-married couple.”

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Jewish educator Marla Korenstein, who is marrying Howard Wolf this month, says although she is looking forward to a lovely honeymoon destination, the most overriding factor is getting away. “After all the stress of our wedding plans, the thought of leaving town and having some quiet time together is very important to both of us,” she says.

The couple has been talking to travel agents and searching the Internet for honeymoon destination spots.

“Since we are having a winter wedding, we want to go someplace filled with sun, nice beaches, and plenty of places to exercise,” she says.

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Where does the term honeymoon come from?

Medieval monks created a fermented brew (mead) of honey, water, yeast and spices that was given to newlyweds for one month (one moon) following their wedding to ease post-marital tensions. The word “honey” in the mead coupled with “moon,” representing one lunar month, created the term honeymoon.

There are plenty of opportunities for honeymoon couples to have exciting adventures, even while on a cruise ship. Jet skiing or kayaking are great ways to exercise and enjoy spectacular views.

Travel agents agree the most important factors in determining where to spend a honeymoon are available vacation time, budget, interest, and time of year.

“When I interview couples, I focus on their personal interests,” notes Weinstock. “If they are beach people, then I recommend romantic, tropical resorts with white, sandy beaches. When other couples prefer adventure trips, I find destinations that include scuba diving, hiking, skiing, biking or kayaking. Very often newlyweds want to go somewhere they have never been before so they can make new memories together.”

Saying “Aloha” to Hawaii is often a preference of new-

lyweds. It was for Elyssa and Jason Kane of Solon, for example. They did their homework and used guidebooks to help plan and enjoy their storybook honeymoon.

“We went horseback riding, snorkeling, and took a four-hour all-terrain vehicle tour, based on what we read,” says Elyssa. “Almost every restaurant or local delicacy we enjoyed came from our research or from advice from friends who had spent their honeymoons in Hawaii.”

Couples like Hawaii because “it consistently has good weather, there is no need for special traveling papers, and it is considered an exotic travel spot,” says Esther CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS 2006

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tremendous freedom in not having to make any logistical Samuelson, leisure manager at Action Travel. decisions,” says Pearl. “You only have to unpack once, “Since Hawaii is part of the United States, the lanand you don’t have to worry where you are going for dinguage, currency and food are the same. There are recrener. There are even special cocktail parties ational activities galore, gorgeous beaches, for newlyweds.” and lavish luaus at night.”

“The magic Lots of romantic extras on a cruise ship For those who want fun but are on a limhelp create a memorable honeymoon. A ited budget, Samuelson strongly recomingredient is Couples’ massage in a private room or on a mends Disneyworld. “Adults are just kids balcony overlooking the ocean and the at heart,” she notes. “And the all-inclusive always the option of a table for two for each meal are packages make this a very affordable honnewly-married only a few of the options offered. eymoon destination spot.”

“The whole ambience of a cruise ship Many couples take advantage of noncouple lends itself to romance,” says Pearl, who stop charter flights for Cancun, Mexico, themselves.” also writes for travel magazines. “The starsays Samuelson. “These charters provide ry night sky, the silver-capped waves, the packages that cover everything – even graCarol Weinstock, moon overhead, exotic destination ports, tuities and transportation to and from the Professional Travel white powdery beaches, champagne toasts airport. You can arrive with $20 in your and dancing on the deck at midnight.” pocket and not spend a penny of it, unless Pearl cautions couples to do their homework and get you want to buy gifts or an extra tube of toothpaste. advice from travel agents who have actually been on the Couples like these packages because they know the total ships they are recommending. “Nothing ruins a honeycost of their honeymoon up front.” moon faster than booking a room with twin beds that Taking a cruise is an excellent honeymoon option, cannot be converted to a queen. Or worse, opening the says Michael Pearl of Cruises on Sail. “There is a

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cabin door and discovering bunk beds. A good travel agent knows where the most romantic cabins are located and which rooms have the best views, cappuccino makers, whirlpools and larger bathrooms.”

Cruise costs vary widely, explains Pearl. “I have booked budget-minded couples on a delightful 4-day cruise for $1,500 and others, who are willing to blow it all on a top-end luxury yacht cruise, for $12,000 for ten days. Plus everything in between.” The average cost for a cruising honeymoon is in the $3,000-4,000 price range.

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WEDDING COUNTDOWN 12

months before

• Meet, call or e-mail important friends and family with the big news of your engagement.

• Make an appointment with your rabbi and decide on a date.

(Certain dates are off limits for Jewish weddings.)

• Research ketubah or chuppah designs.

• Invite close friends and relatives to be members of the wedding party.

• Compile your guest list and start gathering addresses.

• Agree on a wedding budget with your families.

• Start researching ceremony and reception locations.

• Make a Web page to announce your wedding.

• Visit reception sites, and plan to put down a deposit.

• Consider hiring a professional wedding planner.

• Begin shopping for wedding rings.

• Ask friends to recommend photographers, florists and bands.

10

months before

• Send out a “Save the Date” card – especially if you’re marrying during holiday season or having a destination wedding.

• Reserve block of hotel rooms for out-of-town guests.

• Shop for bride’s dress. Leave enough time for several fittings.

• Register for gifts at your favorite stores.

• Interview and hire vendors: caterer, photographer, videographer, florist and band or DJ. • Consider dance lessons, or have a pro choreograph your first dance.

8

months before

6

months before

• Send your engagement announcement to the CJN. • Hire musicians for the ceremony.

• Create a must play/don’t play song list for the reception.

• • • •

•

• Order kipot for guests.

• Collect ritual objects you will need for the ceremony and reception – perhaps a kiddush cup from a grandparent.

Offer relatives an honor, like blessing the challah or reading a prayer.

Order invitations and thank-you notes.

Order your wedding cake.

Meet with the caterer to determine final menu and serving details.

Enjoy being the center of attention and keep up the enthusiasm at all your pre-wedding parties! (Be kind to single friends.) Have a token gift for the host(s).

Hire transportation for the wedding day.

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3

months before

2

months before

Page 3

• Shop for groom’s and groomsmen’s formalwear.

• Settle on a honeymoon destination. If foreign documents, passports or inoculations will be needed, get them now.

• Order bridesmaids’ dresses. Find a style that flatters all the attendants.

1

months before

• Schedule an aufruf and time to go to the mikveh.

• Create a wedding program, if you are having one, explaining the meaning of Jewish traditions you are including.

• Notify your banks and insurance companies that you are getting married. If you are changing your name and/or address, start collecting the documents you will need to make this change.

• Apply for a marriage license.

• Have final wedding dress fitting.

• Call guests who haven’t responded.

• Confirm details with all vendors, photographers, rental companies, lighting, florist, musicians, etc.

• Give a must-take photo list to the photographer.

• Practice writing your Hebrew name if you are the bride, groom, or ketubah signers.

1

week before

1

day before

• Give reception site a final head count.

• Create a reception seating chart and write out place cards.

• Arrange for your chuppah to be set up before the ceremony.

• Pick up bride’s gown and groom’s tux.

• Write any necessary checks for your vendors.

• Attend the rehearsal dinner, and present gifts to the wedding party.

• Eat a big meal if you’re fasting tomorrow, and get a good night’s sleep.

on

the wedding day

• Present parents with a gift – or at least a big hug and kiss.

• Give your wedding bands to the best man/maid of honor.

• Remember to enjoy yourself.

• Send your wedding announcement to the CJN as soon as you get your pictures back!

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• Mail invitations. Number the RSVP cards on the back to correspond to your guest list.

Make final honeymoon reservations.

Buy gifts for parents, attendants and each other.

Book appointments for wedding day hair and makeup.

Plan the rehearsal dinner for the bridal party and out-oftown guests.

2

weeks & counting

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CJN Wedding glossary

B

Below are Jewish wedding-related terms that are used throughout the CJN’s WEDDINGS magazine. aufruf: calling up of the groom to recite blessings over the Torah on the Shabbat before the wedding bedeken: placing of veil over bride; done by groom prior to wedding ceremony beshert: meant to be; intended one; destined bimah: pulpit chatan: groom chuppah, chuppot: wedding canopy(ies) erusin: betrothal ceremony, first part of the wedding service get: Jewish writ of divorce halachah: Jewish law hora: traditional Jewish folk dance, performed in a circle groom’s tish: Yiddish for “table,”

where the groom, his groomsmen and male family members gather for song and dance before the wedding ceremony kallah: bride kashrut: keeping kosher; system of Jewish dietary laws ketubah, ketubot: marriage contract(s) kiddush: blessing said over wine to sanctify beginning of a Shabbat or holiday kipah, kipot: skullcap(s) kittel: white ceremonial robe sometimes worn by groom during wedding ceremony machetunim: in-laws mazel tov: good luck, congratulatory wish mezuzah: handwritten scroll on which are written two biblical passages; affixed to doorpost of Jewish home

mikveh: ritual pool used for purposes of purification minhagim: traditions mitzvah, mitzvot: obligation(s) to Jewish faith; meaning “to bind” to God; good deed(s) nisuin: nuptial portion of wedding service shadchan: professional matchmaker sheva brachot: seven blessings said during wedding ceremony and in grace after meals; also refers to week of festive meals following wedding simchah: joyous occasion taharat hamishpachah: laws of family purity tallit, tallitot: prayer shawl(s) tsedakah: charity yichud: “union;” brief seclusion of bride and groom immediately after wedding ceremony ❤

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CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS 2006

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INDEX OF ADVERTISERS ART Contessa Galleries . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 Elegant Ice Creations . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34 BAKERIES Cake Castle . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 92 Catalano’s . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .91 Katz Kollection & Satin Sweets . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .35 Lax & Mandel Bakery . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38 Lucy’s Sweet Surrender . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 91 Unger’s Kosher Bakery & Food Shop . . . . . . . . . . . . . 72 Wendy Kromer Confections. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 114 BEAUTY Accents of Hair by Vincie . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38 b. fazio Salon . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 64 Dr. Robert O. Wolf & Associates . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .86 Electrolysis & Permanent Cosmetic Center . . . . . . . 38 La Cocco’s Hair Design . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 112 Leeza Salon . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 123 Marengo Institute . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 43 MarkFrank Hair Salons . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 123 Studio Misha . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .96 CANDY Chocolate Emporium . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 92 CATERERS Around Downtown Catering . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 115 Bonnie Davis Catering . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 115 Cafe 56 Catering . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 93 The Catering Company/The College Club . . . . . . .78 Contempo Cuisine Kosher Catering . . . . . . . . . . . . 93 Executive Caterers at Landerhaven . . . . . . . . . . . . . 76 Heinen’s Catering . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7

EVENT PLANNING G.S. Special Events . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24 North Coast Events . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34 Wedding Implementer/Toast of the Town . . . . . . . .92 FASHIONS Adina Prêt a Porter . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24 All Brides Beautiful . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 71 American Commodore Tuxedo . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52 Amy R. Roth & Co. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 112 Bonnie’s Goubaud . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 56 Brides by Donna . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 93 Catan Fashions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 Cutting Room Fabrics . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .77 Isle of Beads . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 123 Lisa Moran, Ltd. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 48 London Cleaners . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 70 Matina’s . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 64 The Perfect Bride . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26 Toni . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20 Tuxedo Warehouse . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 70 Vera’s Ladies Apparel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 72 Winds of Change . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .121 FINANCE Sky Bank . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 109 FLORISTS Brunswick Florist . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 59 Duffy’s Flowers & Plants . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 102 Flowers by Stazzone . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 103 KaBloom . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 99 Miklus Florist . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 120 Prestige Floral . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21 FOOD SPECIALTY Edible Arrangements . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 76 Mustard Seed Market & Cafe . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 115

CLOCKS All About Time . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 95

FRAMES Framart Galleries . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 110 Wood Trader . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26

COMMUNITY SERVICES Jewish Community Federation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17

GIFTS American Crafts Gallery . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 54 Basket Case . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 77 Don Drumm Gallery . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52 Frank’s Hebrew Bookstore . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 111 Heidi’s Passion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 88 Jacob’s Judaic Book and Gift Center . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34 Little Monogram Shop . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 117 Merkaz Judaica . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 112 Mulholland & Sachs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 91 Opus Gallery . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 107 Traveler’s Shoppes/Cleveland Trunk . . . . . . . . . . . 39

DANCE Dick Blake . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 65 ENTERTAINMENT Caricatures & Comedy by E.J. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 122 ERRAND SERVICE The Littlest Detail . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 122

continued on next page

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INDEX OF ADVERTISERS HOME FURNISHINGS B&B Appliance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 77 Bellestanza Furniture . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .86 Carpet Mart & Tile . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35 Crystal Illusions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 87 Fashion Floors . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 71 Fish Furniture . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15 Floor Show . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31 Furniture Corp. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 102 Hamed Oriental Rugs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 108 Marshall Carpet One & Rug Gallery . . . . . . . . . . . . 74 Pearl Rug Co. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 65 Sheraton Furniture . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22 HOTELS Clarion Hotel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44 Intercontinental Hotel & Conference Center . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 Renaissance Cleveland Hotel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13 The Ritz-Carlton Cleveland . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8,9

PUBLICATIONS Cleveland Jewish News . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 124 Weddings in Cleveland . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 88 REALTORS/APTS./HOUSING Howard Hanna Pepper Pike, Paul Blumberg . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 103 Prudential Select, Donna Glazer/ Pamela Scheer . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 107 Prudential Select, Barbara Levine . . . . . . . . . . . . . 73 Realty One, Peggy Garr . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38 Realty One, Adam Kaufman . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 121

INVITATIONS A.L. Wain Co. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 110 Bee’s Knees . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 123 Exclusive Invites . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 103 Hope Fromson . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38 Noteriety . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 99 Sensational Celebrations . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22 Sisters of Celebrations. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 121 Sobella Paper Boutique . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 54 Your Executive Stationer . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 108

RESTAURANTS 100th Bomb Group . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 114 Bossa Nova . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 78 Elsner’s Steak & Steam . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 76 Molinari’s . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44 Moxie/RED . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 117 Nighttown . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 96 Ruth’s Chris Steak House . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 113

JEWELERS Alson . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25 Berger & Silver Jewelers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 97 Gino’s Jewelers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 65 James Alperin Jewelers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 96 Jewelry Art . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 60 Lee Jewelers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 102 Mann . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 127 Michael W. Hayes Designer/Goldsmith . . . . . . . . . 113 Nicholas Jewelers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 111 Peter Danford Fine Jewelery & Gifts . . . . . . . . . . . . 49 Rinaldi Jewelry . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 53 Robert & Gabriel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23 Rosenfeld Jewelry, Inc. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38

TRAVEL Action Travel Center . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 120 Elite Tours & Travel, Inc. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 121 Professional Travel, Inc. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 120

LIMOUSINE SERVICES Yesteryear Limousine . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 53 MIKVEH Park Synagogue Mikveh . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 73 MUSIC Champagne Entertainment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 117 Conn Enterprises . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 95 Fred Schneider, Pianist . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .122 Music Talent of Cleveland . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .97 Run Avril Run . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 112 Yiddishe Cup Klezmer Band . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 110

126

PHOTOGRAPHERS Clifford Norton Studio . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12 Cutri Photo Arts . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .74 Divine Photography . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45 Herbert Ascherman Jr. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 51 LCD Photography & Videography . . . . . . . . . . . . . 56 Myron Photographic Elegance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 NorthCoast Portraits . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 107 Pollack Studio . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 60

CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS WEDDINGS 2006

SPECIALTY RETAIL Legacy Village . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11

VENUES Bertram Inn & Conference Center . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 55 B’nai Jeshurun Congregation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 114 Chagrin Valley Athletic Club . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6 Cleveland Botanical Garden . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 79 Embassy Suites Beachwood . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 89 Executive Caterers at Landerhaven . . . . . . . . . . . . . . BC Glidden House . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20 Hawthorne Valley Country Club . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37 Hillbrook . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27 Hilton Cleveland East/Beachwood . . . . . . . . . . . . . 75 Jewish Community Center Stonehill Conference Center . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 61 Marriott Cleveland East . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33 Park Synagogue . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 111 Playhouse Square Center . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 109 Sammy’s . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 Severance Hall/Musical Arts Association . . . . . . . . 29 Signature of Solon . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 95 Tanglewood Country Club . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 48 Windows on the River . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 53 VIDEOGRAPHERS Milestone Video Productions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 110 Mystic Image Video . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 122

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oyster perpetual datejust and lady-datejust

OFFICIAL ROLEX JEWELER ROLEX

OYSTER PERPETUAL AND DATEJUST ARE TRADEMARKS.

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We have the most unique, exciting and exceptional locations for your special day!

Landerhaven The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame + Museum The English Oak Room at Tower City And, announcing our newest location:

The Galleria at Erieview Or any location of your choice.

Let our experienced wedding consultants, and in-house floral and design department complete your perfect day. •Off-premise catering at most temples with Kosher catering available.

Tel: 440.449.0700 | www.executivecaterers.com