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| J ST Y LE | WEDDINGS 2008 | 3
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| CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS | JS TYLE | WEDDINGS 2008
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INSIDE
010_jsW_contents
14 editor’s letter FEATURE
20 license to propose by jennifer daddario 22 have i got a granddaughter for you … by ellen schur brown 26 fated to be sisters by lauren e. sable 28 a fantasy trip down the aisle by jennifer daddario 34 tossing a bouquet to israeli weddings by arlene fine PLANNING
42 46 50 taking the cake by 54 56 58
here suns the bride by amy newman smith mrs. zitelli’s advice for brides by margi herwald zitelli laura m. walter rings worth committing to navigating the ‘p’ word by nicole reino destination: weddings in israel by toby klein greenwald 62 planning made perfect…or not by marilyn h. karfeld
STYLE
72 princess bride 80 84 88 92 94 96
sneak peek walking down the aisle in style ice-ing jump-start the classic tux by sharon mosley tlc for the gown by lori harlan (brides)maid to order by sharon mosley
TRADITIONS
102 the dress circle by susan h. kahn 106 mazel stuff 110 something old, something new, something gentile, something jew by margi herwald zitelli 114 a cookbook by ‘the bride who knew nothing’ by stephanie garber 118 a beautiful contract by michelle alperin 122 many faces of marriage by violet spevack 128 glossary
10
| CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS | JS TYLE | WEDDINGS 2008
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014_jsW_letter
1/10/08
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jstyle
F R O M T H E E D I TO R
WEDDINGS www.jstylemagazine.com
SPECIAL SECTIONS EDITOR
Ronna A. Novello PUBLISHER
Michael E. Bennett CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER
Rob Certner EXECUTIVE VICE PRESIDENT - EDITOR
Cynthia Dettelbach EXECUTIVE VICE PRESIDENT - ADVERTISING DIRECTOR
Jennifer R. Woomer CREATIVE DIRECTOR
Frida Kon
COMPARE wedding planning in 1988 to 2008. Nothing and everything has changed. Brides still shop for the perfect dress, but today they might preview gowns online before visiting bridal salons. The mother-of-the bride still kvells when she sees her daughter trying on wedding dresses, but she may do so looking at a photo just snapped by one of the bridesmaids using her cell phone camera.
GRAPHIC ARTISTS
Reuben LeVine Shelley Schloss
Brides and their families can research every facet of the wedding-
PRODUCTION MANAGER
planning process over the Internet as well as through print media. This
Sharon Ulsenheimer
year, jstyle WEDDINGS brings readers the best of both worlds. CITY EDITOR
Margi Herwald Zitelli
This glossy WEDDINGS magazine has everything you need to plan
ASSOCIATE EDITOR
your big day. From cakes to gowns to honeymoon destinations, we’ve
Janet Dery
got the subject covered. Read the experts’ advice on destination wed-
EDITORIAL STAFF
Ellen Schur Brown REPORTER Jennifer Daddario SENIOR REPORTER Arlene Fine REPORTER Stephanie Garber SENIOR REPORTER Douglas J. Guth REPORTER Lila Hanft ASSISTANT EDITOR Susan H. Kahn SENIOR REPORTER Marilyn H. Karfeld EDITORIAL ASSITANT Sarah Reymond COPY EDITOR Roberta Sears CAVALCADE Violet Spevack SPECIAL SECTIONS ASSISTANT Lisa R. Terman FAMILY EDITOR
dings, prenuptial agreements and choosing a ring. If you love using the Internet, we’re debuting a new feature with this issue of WEDDINGS. DigiMag is an online version of the magazine that lets readers turn and bookmark pages, place Post-it notes on articles, and zoom or scroll to see page details. Take a minute to check out WEDDINGS online at www.cleveland
ADVERTISING MANAGER
jewishnews.com. You’ll discover a whole new way to read a magazine!
Martha Rosenfield SENIOR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES
Ronna A. Novello
Paul Bram Marsha Ettinger Ron Greenbaum Laurie Mandell ADVERTISING STAFF
ON THE COVER
Rhoda Brooker Anne Garson ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE Nell V. Kirman ADVERTISING SALES ASSISTANT Sheila Lash CLASSIFIED SALES Bernice Levine CUSTOM PUBLISHING COORDINATOR Laura Malto ASSISTANT TO ADV. DIRECTOR Christine Kelley-Patrizi ADVERTISING SALES ASSISTANT Sherry Tilson ADVERTISING COORDINATOR Chelsea Whitman-Rush CLASSIFIED SALES
ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE
Stephanie Elk dances the night away, celebrating her July 14 wedding to Gregg Garfinkel. Read more about their fantasy wedding on page 28. Cover photo by LCD Photography.
ASSISTANT PRODUCTION MANAGER
Christine Ulsenheimer To reach the CJN: 216-454-8300, editorial@cjn.org or advertising@cjn.org.
PRODUCTION STAFF
Jon Larson Beverly Mindlin Matt Narby Glenna Rosenberg MARKETING DIRECTOR
Dianne Palmer BUSINESS MANAGER
Sherry Lapine
VOL. 112 NO. 4 CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS (ISSN-0009-8825) is published weekly, with additional issues in February, March, June, September, November and December by The Cleveland Jewish Publication Company at 23880 Commerce Park, Suite 1, Cleveland, Ohio 44122 Single copy $1.25. Periodicals Postage paid at Cleveland, OH. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to the Cleveland Jewish News, 23880 Commerce Park, Suite 1, Cleveland, Ohio 44122
ADMINISTRATIVE STAFF
Diane Adams Tammie Crawford RECEPTIONIST Alice Fingerhut CIRCULATION Jessica Segal
ASSISTANT BOOKKEEPER SR BOOKKEEPER; CREDIT MANAGER
The Cleveland Jewish Publication Company a not-for-profit corporation
www.clevelandjewishnews.com
14
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licen s
e to
prop
ose
F E AT U R E
020-021_jsW_04_jsW_proposal
by jennifer daddario
LAST winter, Cleveland native Sorah Freund, 23, and her boyfriend Shlomo Acoca, 27, were on their way to pick up Freund’s parents, Diane and Ronny Freund, at the airport in New York City when bright flashing lights and
with
sirens appeared behind them.
help of the police offi-
“I was freaking out; I just wanted to be on time, and we were
cer and the officer’s in-laws, who
running late as it was,” she admits. Freund, 22, grew nervous
worked closely with Acoca and are in the party-
when the cop asked if they had been drinking and said he need-
planning business.
ed both their IDs.
Coming up with the idea and its execution happened very
“When he came back, he gave me my ID and said it was a
quickly, Acoca admits. “I needed something that was interesting
fake,” she explains. “It looked exactly the same, and then I noticed
and spontaneous. Sorah’s family was already en route to New
it had Shlomo’s last name. I said, ‘This is not mine; this is his.’”
York.” With the l’chaim party already set for the next night, “we
Then she looked at the bottom of the plastic ID and saw the words Will You Marry Me? “All of sudden a guy with a video camera appeared, and our friends swarmed out on the street singing,” Freund recalls. “I was shocked.”
were pretty much engaged,” Acoca admits. “We just needed something to seal the deal.” Nonetheless, the creative groom wanted to surprise his bride and catch her off guard. Closer inspection of the fake ID reveals key words and phrases throughout, including an invitation and information about
Freund, who works for a real estate consulting firm in
their party the next night on the back. The couple was married
Brooklyn, admits that she is “not the type of person who likes
June 5, 2007, in Cleveland at The Manor in Euclid. The date was
surprises” but says this was a thrilling one. The video camera
special, too. It was Acoca’s birthday and the anniversary of when
caught her expression as she read the ID and said, “No way.” It’s
the couple first met.
a great video to watch, Freund notes, and with family and
Freund says she thought her husband would propose in an
friends, they did just that the next day at their l’chaim party
unusual way. But “I thought he would propose in a pizza shop
(engagement party).
because I like pizza. I didn’t expect (the police proposal) at all; I
Acoca, a sales executive, came up with the proposal idea 20
the
| CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS | JS TYLE | WEDDINGS 2008
was shocked.”
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CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS
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F E AT U R E
022-025_jsW_05_bingo
Bingo cards were part of the table decorations at the rehearsal dinner.
The couple at their “sweethea rt table” during din ner.
Sylvia ubbe. b ’s n o other. Brand left, is a’s grandm , t r e lp n Liza A acher is Re m lc a M
of he
have i got a granddaughter for you … by ellen schur brown
“WHEN are you going to get married?” Brandon Polien’s
But Liza had her eye out for the right girl, and when one
grandmother Liza Alpert was always nudging him. Taking matters
showed up for BINGO at her apartment building one night, two
into her own hands, Liza (pronounced Leeza), 83, even tried fix-
families turned up winners.
ing him up a few times. “With a girl from Arizona!” Brandon exclaims, his eyes rolling.
22
| CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS | JS TYLE | WEDDINGS 2008
Sylvia Malcmacher, 81, likes to play BINGO with her longtime friend Liza. The women, both widows and Holocaust survivors who speak English with a distinctive European accent, met when
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PHOTO/NEW IMAGE PHOTOGRAPHY
022-025_jsW_05_bingo
We did it! Grandmas Sylvia Malcmacher, right, and Liza Alpert bask in the glow of their successful matchmaking.
they first came to this country in 1949. The families have been there for each other through celebrations and tragedies. One night, Sylvia brought her two granddaughters (cousins) to play BINGO – Robin Gelwasser, who was married, and Rena Snyter, who wasn’t. When Sylvia’s friend Liza quickly ascertained that Rena had no special boyfriend, she said, “Do I have someone for you.” Rena, 27, figured, “I have nothing to lose.” In fact, she won a few dollars on the first BINGO card. Liza was afraid to call her grandson with Rena’s phone number, so she convinced his mother Eva Polien do it for her. Eva readily complied. “I dropped off the number with his birthday gift and said, ‘Brandon, do whatever you want with it.’” Last September, the 36-year-old information technology specialist arranged a coffee date with Rena at Starbucks in Woodmere. He and Rena both felt the connection.
24
I could be totally myself, quirks and all.” After the first Monday coffee date, he called her on Wednesday to ask her out for the weekend. After that, the relationship “just fell into place.” “He’d use Yiddish words like my family did,” says Rena, pointing out their similar backgrounds and traditions. “He didn’t tell me, but you could see they were so much in love with each other,” his matchmaking grandma recalls. Brandon proposed at home, on Dec. 9, 2006, after a jolt of caffeine-courage at the place now known as “Our Starbucks” to the young couple. The wedding was Oct. 21. After 42 years of marriage, Liza has some Old World advice for the young couple: They should listen to each other, make decisions together, and shouldn’t keep their money separate, except it’s OK if Rena wants a little knippl, (nest egg) for herself. The grandmother of the bride agrees! “They should love each other and respect each other, and when they disagree – which
“Anytime I went on a blind date, I’d be rationalizing or ana-
happens all the time – they should talk to each other.” Good
lyzing everything. With Brandon that didn’t happen,” says Rena,
advice for any young couple, from a grandma who was mar-
who teaches second grade in Chagrin Falls. “I was never nervous.
ried 58 years.
| CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS | JS TYLE | WEDDINGS 2008
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F E AT U R E
026_jsW_38_sisters
Future sisters-inlaw Jennifer Young, left, and Marcy Bernstein, enjoy a night out with brothers Seth, left, and Ira.
fated to be sisters by lauren e. sable photography at Paladar by marc golub
MARCY Bernstein spent her 2004 summer break from Ohio University (OU) as an intern at NewsChannel
Only two months after they started dating, Jennifer
5. She was excited to finally be pursuing a goal she’d had
and Seth traveled to OU to see Marcy and Ira as part of
since high school – working in media sales. She had no
Sibs Weekend – a foreshadowing of all the time that the
idea she’d also become a matchmaker – and handpick her
four of them would spend together.
future sister-in-law.
The two couples are extremely close, and on weekends,
Jennifer Young (neé Kramer) was an account executive
they are often together. Seth and Ira both work in the fam-
in the sales department at Channel 5. “I was 20 and look-
ily business – Morningstar Homes – and see each other
ing for a role model, and here was a young Jewish girl
every day. They even carpooled for about a year, when Seth
working in media sales,” Bernstein explains. “We starting
and Jennifer and Ira and Marcy lived two houses away
getting closer and spent a lot of time together outside of
from each other on the same street.
work.” When Bernstein returned to OU for her junior year, she and Young, 26, spoke to each other frequently. Bernstein, an only child, and Young often joked that they wanted to be sisters. That gave Bernstein an idea. “Marcy said she wanted to fix me up with her boyfriend Ira’s older brother Seth,” Young says. “We had our first double date on Christmas Eve, at – where else? – a Chinese restaurant. The rest, as they say, is history.” Jennifer and Seth Young were married this past April. Now Bernstein and Ira Young are planning their wedding 26
on March 15.
| CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS | JS TYLE | WEDDINGS 2008
Jennifer and Marcy have the same position in media sales but at competing stations. Young continues to work for Channel 5, while Bernstein found a job at Fox 8. “It’s fun, it’s unique, it’s kind of neat,” Young says of their parallel lives. “Who would have thought that this 20year-old intern would fix me up with my future husband?” Although the verdict is still out on who snagged the better brother, Bernstein is quick to point out which television station is superior. “Mine’s better,” she jokes.
n
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F E AT U R E
028-032_jsW_03_elk
1/9/08
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a fantasy trip down the aisle by jennifer daddario photography by lcd photography
Crystals, candles, pillars, and white and pale pink roses brought Stephanie’s dream chupah to life.
028-032_jsW_03_elk
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STEPHANIE Elk, who sees herself as a very modern
Those roses on the chupah were only part of the 16,000 roses
woman, says she loves both simplicity and “over the top.” For her
used in the entire event. Crystals were also in abundance to accent
recent wedding to Gregg Garfinkel, she embraced those disparate
everything from the walls in the reception area to Elk’s bouquet.
elements and added some fairy-tale dreams for good measure.
Tradition was also an important element in the wedding. With
The result? A “platinum” wedding for
her bouquet, Elk carried her great-
the couple, who live in Twinsburg.
grandmother’s Bible, which every
Elk, an event planner at Saks Fifth
bride in her family has carried since
Avenue, and Garfinkel, an attorney,
the 1900s. Each couple’s names are
were married on July 14 at Beechmont
inscribed inside the book. Elk was
Country Club. The ceremony, cocktail
married using the gold ring worn by
hour and reception each had a com-
her father’s mother.
pletely different theme. Elk, 34, and
The couple made kiddush with
Garfinkel, 30, worked with their wed-
four special wine goblets. The first
ding planner Joe Mineo of Something
was used by Elk’s parents at their wed-
New Florist.
ding, and the second by Garfinkel at
“What we felt made our wedding
his bar mitzvah. The third was made
so special were all of the details,” Elk
in Israel and given to them as a wed-
says. “We customized almost every-
ding gift by Rabbi Milton B. Rube,
thing, so, much of it had never been
who officiated the wedding. The last
seen before.”
was a crystal goblet the couple bought
With So Bella Paper Boutique in
to symbolize their new life together.
Little Italy, Elk and Garfinkel helped
The romantic and tradition-filled
design their save-the-date notices, invitations and the program. “I love
ceremony included a humorous Here comes the bride. Stephanie walked down the aisle with her father, carrying her great-grandmother’s Bible.
moment when it came time for the
classic and elegant, but I also wanted
traditional breaking of the wrapped
over the top,” Elk says. They added a
glass. Elk and her mother had chosen
little bling in the form of a Swarovski crystal buckle, with a bow, encircling the invitation. The save-the-date card was delivered in a small box complete with blush pink M&Ms.
a beautiful, modern-looking glass shaped like an egg, she says. The problem: The glass was so thick, Garfinkel had trouble breaking it. Each time he tried, it would only roll a few feet. “This
For the ceremony, Elk harked back to her childhood dreams.
happened like six times,” he laughs. “It was killing the bottom of
“I had always dreamed of a Grecian look for the ceremony,” she
my foot.” Finally, Garfinkel picked it up and pretended to throw
says. “I wanted Grecian pillars, an enclave of flowers, and green-
it across the room. Rabbi Rube saved the day during the reception
ery all around.” The chupah was covered with blush pink roses,
when he found a light bulb for Garfinkel to break.
Elk’s favorite color, and had crystals hanging from the top.
Since the ceremony and the reception are typically all about
CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS
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Blush roses and candles in the dramatic centerpiece provide a backdrop for the wedding cake.
the bride, Garfinkel put his thumbprint on the cocktail hour. The result? A Miami-South Beach theme.
30
Beechmont’s dining room was totally transformed for the evening. Every wall was covered in white fabric and accented
Blue and white lights turned the room into a Miami night-
with crystals. A wood dance floor covered with white tiles
club, Elk says. With fun salsa music playing in the background,
included the newlyweds’ monogram. “Everything was just amaz-
guests enjoyed drinks and snacks served in tiered shot glasses.
ing,” Elk admits.
Garfinkel’s favorite part of the theme were the tables, lighted
The couple helped design the monogram that appeared on
from below and covered with white fabric. In the middle of each
everything from the white aisle runner for the ceremony to the
table, a small “pond” held a floating candle.
place cards, program and menu.
| CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS | JS TYLE | WEDDINGS 2008
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E M B A S S Y S U I T E S HOTEL®
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CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS
| J ST Y LE | WEDDINGS 2008 | 31
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A variety of centerpieces, custom-designed tablecloths, and varied table sizes created an elegant atmosphere.
Dinner menus at each place setting incorporated the couple’s monogram.
Every table in the dining room was different. Some were long, seating 16 guests, while others were square or round. Each featured a different centerpiece, another “over-the-top” detail. Standing chandeliers, with crystals and roses were on some tables. Others featured numerous candles of different lengths, with pearls wrapped around them. Tablecloths had champagne-colored underlays. The head table was dressed in a gold lace beaded tablecloth. When all was said and done, the couple was thrilled with the result. “The main thing was that when Gregg and I walked in, we felt like we were in a fairy tale,” Elk says. “We had an incredible night with family and friends like we’ve never had before.”
32
| CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS | JS TYLE | WEDDINGS 2008
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F E AT U R E
Newlyweds Orli and Asher Perez celebrate their first dance as husband and wife.
tossing a bouquet to israeli weddings by arlene fine we were married outside of the States, this could not be called a
ON MAY 24, 2007, Orli Shvartz and Asher Perez got off to a promising start in the Promised Land.
34
destination wedding.” To set the nuptial plans in motion, both the Shvartz and
Surrounded by 400 family and friends, the couple married in
Perez families met in Israel five months before the wedding.
a lavish ceremony at a deluxe resort hotel in Ashdod, a pictur-
After they selected the wedding location and reception venue,
esque seafront community south of Tel Aviv.
the rest was easy.
“My husband’s family and my father’s family are Israelis,”
“Planning weddings in Israel is so much simpler and less
explains Orli. “With the exception of nine American guests, the
stressful than in the States, where every item is a la carte,” says
rest of the people at the wedding were Israelis. So, even though
Susie Shvartz, Orli’s mother. “We worked with a bilingual wed-
| CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS | JS TYLE | WEDDINGS 2008
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years
| J ST Y LE | WEDDINGS 2008 | 35
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Bride Orli Shvartz, at left, is flanked by her parents. Above, groom Asher Perez signs the ketubah. Below, Orli and Asher Perez under the chupah.
ding planner at the party center who helped us select the wedding package and the upgrades we wanted. The planner took care of ordering all the food and drinks and providing the flowers and decorations. The only thing left to us was to choose the rabbi and book the entertainment and photographer.” One-stop-shopping Israeli weddings cost about half of what a similar wedding would cost in the United States. “And because of the spontaneity and informality of Israeli life, you can plan a wedding just a few months in advance,” says Shvartz. The more manageable cost of most Israeli weddings enables
On Sunday night, five days before the wedding day, the
them to be large events. “My sister-in-law had 2,000 guests at
groom’s Moroccan parents hosted a Sephardic engagement cel-
her wedding,” says Orli. “Our wedding, which included fire-
ebration called a Hinna, where tables of homemade sweets were
works when I walked down the aisle, was considered very small
served to 150 guests. “The idea is to give the couple a sweet
by Israeli standards.”
start to married life and to shower them with gold and gifts,”
While Orli and her mother spent the months before the wed-
36
Orli explains.
ding shopping for wedding attire, their Israeli relatives helped
“My in-laws gave me a basket filled with a golden necklace
with last-minute details that had to be taken care of in Israel.
with matching earrings, and my parents presented Asher with
When the bridal party arrived from the States a week and half
many presents. That evening was the last time we saw each other
before the big day, there was nothing left to be done.
before the wedding ceremony.”
| CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS | JS TYLE | WEDDINGS 2008
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| J ST Y LE | WEDDINGS 2008 | 37
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An elated Orli Perez receives congratulations under the chupah.
Orli went to the mikvah the next morning. “I chose not to have a mikvah party,” she says. “I was partied out and wanted it to be an intimate, reflective experience for me.” The day of the wedding was a “bride’s dream,” Orli reflects. Early that morning she went to a bridal boutique catering exclu-
tic music to be played when he entered the bride’s room.” The wedding, Orli says, was a “feast. After the ceremony, our guests dined on hearty appetizers for two hours, and then they sat down to a lavish eight-course dinner.”
sively to brides on their wedding day. Dressed in elegant silk paja-
After the wedding, the couple spent the night in a honey-
mas, she was pampered from head to toe. “I was served a huge
moon suite at the hotel. “It was a glorious suite with a balcony
breakfast as soon as I arrived so I would have energy for the day,”
where we could see the guests who were still partying and we
she says. “My mother and my sister joined me in the afternoon,
could relax in a Jacuzzi. Our party coordinator had planned even
and we had our make-up, nails and hair done. There were eight
this detail in advance.”
other wedding parties that day, so it was a lot of fun, even though it felt like organized chaos.” When her future husband arrived at the bridal boutique, Orli was eager to see him. “We had not seen each other for five days,”
38
she recalls. “Someone at the boutique even arranged for roman-
| CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS | JS TYLE | WEDDINGS 2008
Because Israeli laws require that brides married in Israel prove they are Jewish, Orli and her mother met with Rabbi Melvin Granatstein of Green Road Synagogue before the wedding. “My daughter had to give a letter to the Israeli rabbinical court
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certifying she was an Orthodox Jew,” says Shvartz. “The rabbi’s letter indicated that my mother was Jewish, that I am Jewish, and that my daughter was born a Jew.” Orli also had to be interviewed right before her wedding by a Bet Din (religious
The lavish Shvartz/Perez wedding reception was held in a deluxe resort hotel in Ashdod. The 400 wedding guests celebrated the Israeli wedding in grand style that included a gala wedding feast and joyful dancing.
court) in Israel, which questioned her about her Jewish lineage. “This is to prevent intermarriage and to make sure I am kosher,” she explains. Both mother and daughter agree the Israeli wedding was extremely spiritual and meaningful. “My only problem was that I don’t speak Hebrew,” laments the bride’s mother.
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HELP WITH ISRAELI B U R E AU C R AC Y A nongovernmental organization called ITIM, the Jewish Life Information Center, helps Jews from Israel and abroad navigate the rabbinate and its regulations. By Googling “Machon Itim,” couples can find a site that explains how to register online and find the information on the documentation they will need. ITIM will prepare their file and bring it to the rabbinate for approval. 40
| CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS | JS TYLE | WEDDINGS 2008
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| J ST Y LE | WEDDINGS 2008 | 41
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PLANNING
042-044_jsW_07_honeymoon
This view of the Italian coastline sold Scott Herscher on the spot as an ideal honeymoon destination.
here suns the bride THERE’S planning ahead, and then there’s planning ahead.
However, couples interested in those kinds of destinations
In 1997 Scott Herscher stood along the banks of Lake Como, Italy,
are by far the minority. Most couples want an all-inclusive resort
and knew right then he had found his dream honeymoon spot.
in a tropical location or a cruise to the Caribbean, the Mediter-
He just needed to find a wife. Ten years later, following his July
ranean or Greece.
2007 nuptials in San Francisco to Hilary Kushins, he returned to Lake Como to honeymoon … exactly as planned.
42
by amy newman smith
agree to agree With so many options to choose from, planning a honeymoon
According to Judy Tamburiello of J.T. Travel & Cruises, Her-
is a great chance to practice the fine art of compromise so central
scher hit on an emerging trend in her business. This year she’s
to a successful union. The Internet offers some tools to help the
seen many more inquiries about trips to Europe, specifically
process along. Web pages such as www.honeymooners
Paris and Italy.
reviewguide.com/planning/your-perfect-honeymoon.html offer
| CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS | JS TYLE | WEDDINGS 2008
1/8/08
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PHOTOS/SCOTT HERSCHER
042-044_jsW_07_honeymoon
Scott and Hilary Herscher enjoy their 2007 honeymoon at Lake Como, Italy. Scott chose the destination while there in 1997.
questionnaires to guide couples in the decision-making process.
destination wedding, says Judy, was that it allowed them to focus
Even if you are both sold on a dream honeymoon featuring
on “who we were as a couple and what we had created togeth-
tropical breezes, warm beaches, and spectacular ocean sunsets,
er.” But even with a small group of their nearest and dearest as
you still have decisions to make. At the honeymoon-planning
opposed to a guest list of 100 or 200 people, they still needed a
website thehoneymoon.com, all five of the top honeymoon des-
wedding site, a place to have a reception dinner, flowers, and
tinations are beach-centered.
more. Some details didn’t work out. For example, a practice run
But a beach vacation in Aruba or Jamaica is vastly different from one in Mexico or Tahiti. And there’s no rule that wanting
showed the bride that the hotel salon wasn’t able to do weddingday makeup she liked, so she opted to do it herself.
a tried-and-true feel for your honeymoon means you have to
For some, circumstances lead to taking not one, but two hon-
choose from a “most popular” list at all. If you are both set on
eymoons. Scott Herscher and Hilary Kushins were settled on the
a cruise but want something a little different, check a Scandi-
trip to Italy, but for them September, not July, was the best time
navian cruise instead of the typical Caribbean destination. If the
to travel. Still wanting to get away immediately after their wed-
beach is your dream, focus on off-the-beaten path beach des-
ding, the newlyweds opted for a few days in the California town
tinations like the Maldives or coastal areas of Croatia, which
of Mendocino. By doing a little research, they found a bed-and-
theknot.com notes is popular with celebrities precisely because
breakfast that would allow their dog Wooly to join them and
it isn’t so well-known.
would provide fabulous food and what they called the “indulgent
destination: wedding Some couples opt to combine a destination wedding with a
decadence of dual in-room massages.”
honeymoon registries
honeymoon. For Judy Bird and Robert Abbott, married in Punta
Couples can now register for gifts like massages on honey-
di Mita, Mexico, in June 2001, the key to their successful experi-
moon registries offered by websites like thebigday.com and
ence was choosing a top-notch hotel. Part of the attraction of a
thehoneymoon.com. (These sites collect payments and send a
CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS
| J ST Y LE | WEDDINGS 2008 | 43
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The steps are as good a place as any to dock your boat at Lake Como.
A view of the rugged Italian coastline.
check to the couple after deducting a fee for their services.) The
and friends first (the ones you can trust to give you honest feed-
Travel Industry Association of America says honeymooners outspend
back). Many traditionalists will look askance at this innovation,
other travelers by more than three times, and with an increasing
while others will be as excited to give a gift of a scuba diving excur-
number of couples paying for all or part of the wedding themselves,
sion or drinks at the poolside bar as they would a blender or set of
financing a dream trip can be a stretch.
sheets. (Thebigday.com also lets you include traditional items on
Before you sign up for a honeymoon registry, sound out family 44
Centuries-old buildings hug the cliff overlooking the lake.
| CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS | JS TYLE | WEDDINGS 2008
your registry like digital cameras, luggage, and swimsuits.)
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S P E C I A L A DV E RT I S I N G S E C T I O N
P H OTO G R A P H E R S
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Page 45
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CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS
| J ST Y LE | WEDDINGS 2008 | 45
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PLANNING
046-049_jsW_10_advice
PHOTO / LCD PHOTOGRAPHY
mrs. zitelli’s advice for brides
who needs a wedding planner when you have one very opinionated recovering bride? by margi herwald zitelli
NOW that I’ve been married for more than 14 months, I’ve
• You can’t do it alone. You will need help from someone. By
discovered that I am considered something of a wedding expert.
the same token, your mother can’t do it alone either, so don’t
Many an engaged lass and her harried mom have reached out to
expect her to do it all for you.
me (and my mom) for guidance, direction and sanity as they
• Did I mention that everything wedding-related is expensive?
plan their own weddings. So, if you’re a bride-to-be feeling overwhelmed by the task ahead, let Mrs. Zitelli ease your mind with
getting started
a few helpful and realistic tips you can’t get from Martha Stewart.
(usually within days of getting engaged) • Buy a wedding planning book to keep all your notes, vendor
correcting assumptions • Planning a wedding can be loads of fun, but you will cry, fight
with you everywhere. I highly recommend Wedding Planner by Sara
with your family and friends, and obsess over things you thought
Miller, a spiral-bound organizer book that features checklists of
would never matter to you. Let it happen. Cry loudly. Cry at work.
what you should have accomplished a year before the wedding,
Yell at people. Let it out! Just make sure you apologize lovingly and
six months before, three months before, etc. If reading through
profusely to everyone after you’ve regained your senses.
your wedding planning book doesn’t freak you out, then it’s not
• Everything wedding-related is expensive. There is no such thing as a cheap option. Whatever your budget, you will go over it at least a little. Make peace with that early!
46
business cards, and important contact info in one place. Carry it
a thorough enough book. • Set priorities right away. If you’re a flower child or a dancing queen or a finicky foodie, you already know which element of the
• Leave childhood fantasies behind. Everything you’ve always
wedding is going to be most important to you. Give your higher
thought you wanted at your wedding will change once you start
priorities more attention, and plan to budget a little more on
meeting vendors, picking colors, and trying on dresses. You’ll be
them. If you’re a design minimalist with a flower allergy and no
surprised to discover what it is you end up liking.
sweet tooth or you just don’t give a darn about hand-written cal-
• Everything wedding-related is expensive.
ligraphy – those might be areas where you can save a little cash.
| CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS | JS TYLE | WEDDINGS 2008
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PHOTO COURTESY / CAKES PLUS
046-049_jsW_10_advice
guests come first
• Decide early on what kind of wedding you
(seriously, they do!!!)
want, beyond how casual or formal it will be. For example, do you want the ethos to
• Designate a maximum number of
be fairy tale, classical romantic, vintage
guests to invite. Don’t be afraid to draw
glamour, jazzy or contemporary? Having a
the line at children under a certain age
“theme” will help you focus when it
or cousins twice removed. Also, make
comes to everything from choosing
sure you and your groom, your par-
the right vendors to picking your
ents, your future in-laws, and anyone
dress and designing your invitation.
else concerned knows exactly how
• Determine up front who’s pay-
many people from the grand guest
ing for what. If that means some
total are theirs to invite. Insist they
tough and uncomfortable conversa-
stick to their allotted portion of
tions with parents and future in-laws,
guests!
so be it. It will only be the first of many.
• Send save-the-date cards. • Make life as easy as possible for out-of-
vendor selection
towners. Designate a single wedding hotel, so they all can
(because a wedding requires more than one shidduch)
convene in one place and find each other easily. If the cere-
• Book as many of the big vendors (venue, music for ceremo-
mony and reception sites aren’t within a block of the hotel,
ny and reception, catering, florist, photographer, cake bakery) as
provide guests with painstakingly accurate and simple driving
early as possible. Once they’re booked, most vendors won’t need
directions, or organize group transportation. Send out-of-
to meet with you again for months, so that gives you a bit of a
towners letters or e-mails with detailed info on all of the above
much-needed break.
– plus directions and transportation options from the nearest
• Make sure you meet with a few vendors for each of your
airports and highways.
needs so you can compare styles, prices, attitudes and how much
• Put all of the above information on your wedding website,
they “get” you. But don’t see too many, or you’ll lose your mind.
too! List your e-mail address or phone number so guests can call
Honestly! Do you really need to discuss hypothetical centerpieces
you if they have questions.
with more than three florists?
gifts and registries
• Never hire a vendor who tells you you’ll have to do part of the set-up or transport items yourself. • Don’t be afraid of the West Side or Akron or anywhere else that’s not between Chagrin and Mayfield. You might miss out on a vendor who fits what you want. • Above all, select things you love, from your favorite flavor of
48
(because sometimes greed is good) • Register at more than two, but less than seven stores. Guests need options. • Ninety to 100% of your gift registries should be accessible online. Guests need options.
cake to your favorite style of music to whatever weird,
• Register with at least one “everyday” store, like Target, and at
labyrinthine table and buffet configuration you prefer. Don’t do
least one fancy department store or specialty boutique. Guests
anything you don’t love.
need options.
| CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS | JS TYLE | WEDDINGS 2008
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• Register for A LOT of stuff! I’m not saying you should register for things you don’t want or need, but don’t be shy about putting anything you dig on the list. I had two showers and 200 wedding guests – that’s a lot of gift-buying! The last thing you want is for gift-giving stragglers to go to your registry and find
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the only thing left on it is one Ginsu knife. Guests need options. • Make sure you have items on your registry for every budget, from hundreds of dollars to items costing under $10. Make sure you’ve got tons of items (for kitchen, bath, bedroom, living room, car, backyard and DVD player) priced between $30-75. Like I said, Guests need options. • You can list your charities of choice on your wedding website registry list, too.
the other players (believe it or not, it’s not all about the bride) • Take cost into account when selecting your bridesmaids’ dresses and groomsmen’s tuxes. • Consider varying heights, weights and shapes! You don’t want your bridesmaids to look better than you, but you do want them to look nice and to be moderately comfortable. • Figure out ways to include important family members from both sides. Not every cousin or sibling-in-law needs to be in the wedding party. Grandparents may or may not walk down the aisle, and that’s OK. But, try to make sure everyone “special” has his or her moment – maybe just by including them in posed pictures or mentioning them when you thank guests for coming. • Point out relatives and other important guests to your photographer during the reception to make sure no one gets left out
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of your pictures. • Include your in-laws whenever you can, even if it’s just updating them on your planning progress. Oh, and while we’re on the subject, include your fiancé. It is his wedding, too!
and now a word from mr. zitelli … I asked my husband Matt what advice he would give to grooms. He said: “If there is one thing you would really like to have at the wedding, push for it. You’re entitled. ONE THING. Outside of that, it’s her day more than it is yours. Get used to the idea. Put in your two cents, lift heavy things, and help where you can. Otherwise, stay out of the way!”
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600 North Aurora Road 330.995.0200 www.thebertraminn.com CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS
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taking the cake by laura m. walter
WHAT’S a wedding without the cake? In addition to serving as dessert, the cake is often an expression of the newlyweds’ tastes and personalities. For Stacey Aronstein, a Pepper Pike native now living in New York City, the cake wasn’t her first concern when she began planning her September 2006 wedding. But once she sampled cakes from Phyllis Lester Designs in Solon, she found she had specific opinions about what she wanted. Stacey decided on a square-shaped cake with three tiers and a slightly lacy design that matched her wedding dress. “I didn’t want something too ornate,” she explains, and she was happy with the result: a hazelnut cake that tasted as good as it looked. “It was delicious.”
PH O TO
PH OT O
/W HI TE
FL OW ER
CA
KE
SH O
/P
HY LL
IS
LE
ST ER
D ES IG N S
E PP
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simple but personal Stacey’s desire for a simple but elegant design for her wedding cake isn’t unusual. Cleveland-area bakers agree that the once-popular elaborate wedding cake is being replaced by a more minimalist style. Marianne Carroll, co-owner of White Flower Cake Shoppe in Beachwood, says today’s wedding cakes are “taking on a look of clean lines instead of being ornate or overly done.” Brides and grooms are trying to keep the cakes simple and personal, she says. Adding monograms is a popular way for the couple to personalize their crowning dessert. Brides can also try to match the cake design to their dress, as Stacey did, or incorporate sugar flowers that mimic the bouquet. Many couples use color to connect the cake with the rest of the wedding. And while the cake style might be simple, Diana Dimitru of Cakes Plus in Rocky River says some couples are willing to use brighter colors to decorate their cakes.
NS
ES IG
H
ER ST LE
D
/P
LIS YL
PH OT O
PHOTO / WHITE FLOWER CA KE
SHO
PPE
“It’s not your grandma’s cake anymore.”
CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS
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trends and tastes Phyllis Lester is quick to point out that every wedding cake should taste as fabulous as it looks. Everyone knows buttercream is frosting, but Lester points out there are numerous types of buttercream, and the type selected must be matched to the cake’s den-
PHOTO / C AKES PLUS
taste buds, Lester says. That means if you don’t actually like eating fondant (a rolled frosting), you might consider leaving it off your cake. Lester adds that wedding cake trends are leaning toward more unusual flavors, such as Sicilian pistachio or an orange chiffon cake with chocolate ganache. While Stacey had a dessert table at her wedding in addition to the cake, bakers say the trend is toward serving the cake as the only dessert at the reception. PHOTO COURTESY / AMERICAN GREETINGS / PHYLLIS LESTER DESIGNS
PHOTO / WHIT
E FLOWE R C AKE S HO P PE
sity. Couples should make their decisions by following their
Finally, if one cake isn’t enough, consider a groom’s cake. In this Southern tradition that is evolving into a modern-day trend, brides select a smaller cake designed to match the groom’s interests or hobbies. Wedding cake designers caution that brides should contact bakers as early as possible to ensure availability. Lester recommends out-of-town brides extend weekend visits by a day to have better luck meeting with bakers who might be busy on weekends. Cake costs are dictated by the basic cake type chosen and the intricacies of the decorating. Prices can range from $2 - $15 per serving. The size of the cake needed is determined by how you plan to use it – as the main dessert or in addition to a sweet table. Planning early is important – after all, the cake can be an extension of the couple’s big day. “View the cake as a whole and how it fits into your wedding,” advises Carroll. But most importantly, “let your taste buds decide.”
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PLANNING
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rings worth committing to: a groom’s guide IT’S ONE of the ironies of love and marriage: Whether for
armed with a few choice buzzwords technically known as “the
romantic or other reasons, the onus for buying the rings often
four Cs”: “cut” (the proper proportions, whether a pear, oval or
falls on the very person who knows the least about jewelry – the
other shape, optimize a diamond’s natural radiance); “clarity”
groom-to-be.
(the fewer a diamond’s flaws, the more valuable it is); “color”
So maybe the best piece of advice for any male out there is this: Pretend you’re shopping
increase a diamond’s rarity and
for a new car, and do as much
value, small stones can still be
homework as you would
more expensive if the other
before entering the show-
three
room. Read on for some other
Remember: The center dia-
useful tips:
mond generally accounts for
Cs
rate
highly).
• Don’t rush it – Most men
most of the ring’s price, so it’s
take one to three months to
important to invest in a quality
find the right engagement
ring that will hold the diamond
ring. But you might be able to
securely in place for a lifetime.
save yourself some time and
• Know her style – The good
stress by shopping for all three
news is that the three rings you
rings – the engagement ring
buy don’t necessarily have to
and separate wedding bands
match. “The band and engage-
for bride and groom – at once.
ment ring just need to work
“Finding three rings at the
well with one another and
same time takes some of the
complement your bride’s per-
pressure
sonal
off
the
groom
style,”
O’Connor
because it means a big part of
explains. “Is she ‘girly’ or out-
the wedding to-do list will
doorsy? Modern or tradi-
already be taken care of,” says jewelry and style expert Michael
tional?” If you’re having trouble figuring out what she likes,
O’Connor. “Also, it’s easy to decide what will coordinate with the
talk to her friends or hit a few jewelry stores together.
engagement ring if you see them all at the same time.” Websites
• Determine a budget – Most men set aside two months’ salary
like www.whiteflash.com are terrific resources for visualizing
for the engagement ring alone. So if you’re buying all three rings
what you need before buying.
at once, figure on budgeting another month’s salary for the addi-
• Know the lingo – You already know that car dealers react differently to buyers who know what they’re talking about. So come
54
(whitest is best); and “carat” (although a higher carat weight may
| CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS | JS TYLE | WEDDINGS 2008
tional two rings. NAPS
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PLANNING
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$ navigating the ‘p’ word
$
$
$$
$ a prenup is vital the second (or third) time around by nicole reino
THE WORDS “prenuptial agreement” can conjure up a lot
do you strongly recommend prenuptial agreements for couples
of uncertainty. The thought of asking for one, let alone signing
going into second and third marriages
one, is slightly terrifying. Los Angeles lawyer and author Robert
Very much so. In many ways, a prenup is more important in a
Mayer makes the process a little less daunting in his book How to
second or third marriage because people are coming into the
Win Any Negotiation: Without Raising Your Voice, Losing Your
marriage with assets they wouldn’t normally have if it were a first
Cool or Coming to Blows. Mayer offers advice on how to propose
marriage. Consider a second marriage for two people in their 60s.
the “P” word. In a recent interview, he shared
The husband is a wealthy guy with a wonderful
some his insight on prenups.
home. The wife has few assets. They have a won-
if someone decides he or she wants a
?
prenuptial agreement, what is the first step
parlaying a prenup
derful marriage for 12 to 13 years, and then the
Seven crucial things to remember when negotiating a prenup:
husband dies. His children end up taking his
It really depends on the person. The first step is for the couple to talk between themselves about the mutual need for a prenup. Some people may decide not to get married once they’ve talked. A prenup brings hidden agendas to life. Many times, just talking about a prenup creates a struggle for domination and control. We’re talking about money, about defining ongoing obligations in the event of divorce, and about financial obligations to
house, and they tell his wife, “Goodbye, get out 1. Be prepared for an emotional response. 2. Don’t negotiate the agreement as guests are arriving. 3. Negotiate an agreement that appears fair and reasonable. 4. Make sure each spouse has a lawyer. 5. Negotiate with candor. 6. Negotiate what will happen during marriage and in the event of divorce. 7. Negotiate what will happen in the event of death.
of our house because we want to sell it.” I’m sure this wasn’t the husband’s intent, but because they didn’t have a prenuptial agreement, the wife is out on the streets.
in the event of death, is it like having a will Yes.
what should be included in a prenup
?
?
It could be things like how the couple is going to raise their children, but that’s generally not
each party’s respective families. You’re getting
what’s in it. Include what’s community property
into territory that may never have been
and what’s separate property. The prenup should
explored.
56
?
| CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS | JS TYLE | WEDDINGS 2008
provide for what might happen in the event of divorce. Some-
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times one party agrees to pay the other person X number of
adina & company
dollars in a divorce. If the couple owns a business together, it should say what will happen with that business if they get divorced. Who would continue owning and running the business, and how will the other spouse’s interest in the business be valued? Prenups are mostly about money, but they are about money in the broadest sense of the word. Are you going to send my kids to Stanford? Will you take care of my parents if they are sick?
what is the #1 mistake people make when asking their spouse to sign a prenup
?
The No. 1 mistake is that they do it too late in the process. If you’re doing it as the invitations are being printed and the gown is being altered, there’s a lot of pressure to sign. The second mistake is trying to do it yourself. Each person should have his or her own lawyer.
when should one start the prenup process
?
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Long before the wedding plans are made – maybe even at the time the couple are so serious in the relationship that they’re talking
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about getting engaged. Again, it’s causing them to focus on fundamental and critical issues.
how long does it typically take to go through the prenup process It depends on the complexity of what’s needed. If you want to start dividing up the DVDs and the dogs, it could take longer. People do get into that kind of stuff.
how much does a lawyer-prepared prenuptial agreement cost It really depends. There is no general figure.
?
are more people asking for prenups today than, say, 20 years ago
?
They are. People are more aware of them because of the publicity surrounding them. Think of people like Donald Trump.
what is a cohabitation agreement
?
It’s for people who live like they are married but aren’t actually married. I’m not just talking about gay couples – all couples. It’s an agreement for unmarried couples that addresses not all but many of the same issues a prenup addresses. Unmarried couples who expect to be living together without getting married for a long time would be wise to investigate the possibility of a cohabitation agreement.
n
BRIDAL REGISTRY AT
L I N E N C O N S U LTAN T S 12427 Cedar Road (Top of Cedar Hill) Cleveland Hts., Ohio 44106 216-231-8000 www.linen-consultants.com CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS
| J ST Y LE | WEDDINGS 2008 | 57
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PLANNING
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Israel offers many beautiful outdoor settings for wedding ceremonies and receptions.
destination: weddings in Israel by toby klein greenwald
WHEN I got married 30 years ago in the enchanting courtyard
many more options. Israel offers some of the most evocative, his-
of Rabban Yohanan ben Zakkai in the Jewish Quarter of
torical and romantic settings for weddings on the face of the
Jerusalem, our “music” was two friends on guitars and another
earth. Wedding planning companies will arrange a wedding any-
on an accordion, playing in different corners. This was due to the
where – in the desert, in a forest or on the beach.
custom of not having live bands within the Old City walls since the destruction of the Temple.
Thinking about a destination wedding in Israel? A representative sampling follows:
The chatan’s tish, bedeken, dancing and reception were scattered among the historic synagogues and small halls within the complex. Of special note was the quarter of a chicken that the wait-
South of Beit Shemesh, these caves, a favorite location for hik-
ress dropped onto my father’s plate. When I tried to apologize for
ers and tourists, are also a popular area for concerts and wed-
the simplicity of the affair, mortified, he said, beaming, “I love it!
dings. There are niches in the wall for homing pigeons, and caves
It’s so … heimish!”
once used for water cisterns and granaries are open to the stars.
We loved that setting, but today a bride and groom have so 58
the caves of beit guvrin
| CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS | JS TYLE | WEDDINGS 2008
One moves from cave to cave for the chupah, dinner, bar and dance
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CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS
| J ST Y LE | WEDDINGS 2008 | 59
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area. The main cave seats 450, and if you want to move tables out-
50-250 people for events, and there is a succah option for up to
side, up to 700. The catering is $52 a person, or you can rent the
250, as well. The setting feels like one is within the walls of the
hall for $5,000 and bring in your own caterer.
Old City, which is only a few hundred meters away. There is an outside courtyard and two inner rooms, one with a roof and the
ramat rachel –
other with a tent-like ceiling constructed over it. Meals (meat or
combine elegance and history
dairy) are usually served buffet style, and because it’s outside the
One can watch a spectacular and ethereal sunset through the
walls, many people hire bands. If the timing works out, you can
poles of the chupah from a hill overlooking Bethlehem and the
visit other attractions on Mount Zion and within the walls before
Etzion Hills at Ramat Rachel, a kibbutz whose members fought to
the event begins. Costs approximately $45 per person. Phone:
maintain the southern border of Jerusalem in 1948. Surrounded
972-2-673-2770.
by bunkers, the kibbutz had new life breathed into it after the SixDay War in 1967.
The Taverna restaurant, which seats up to 150, has a large, magnificent patio with a view of the Old City and the hills around
The décor of its huge wedding hall includes Jerusalem stone
it, which are visible through its arched, ancient windows. It has
and a large dance floor; the catering is sumptuous. The kibbutz
a gourmet dairy menu and wine list. Taverna is both a regular
was founded in 1926 and named for Rachel, who is interred in
restaurant and a favorite location for small weddings and other
the nearby Tomb of Rachel, a destination for pilgrimages and
similar affairs. E-mail: tavernar@walla.com; website: taverna.
prayer. Seats between 500-600, depending on how much room
co.il/.
you want to leave for a dance floor. Price: About $42 a person.
wedding halls in industrial areas kibbutz nir am –
Most wedding halls located in industrial and commercial areas
duck pond, restaurant and bedouin tent
do their best to turn their interiors into magical wonderlands. But
Nir Am, located in the western Negev and recently the target
it is hard to escape the fact that upon entering and leaving, one is
of Kassam rocket attacks, was founded in 1943 by Ukranian Jews
faced with parking lots or falafel joints. However, when cost is a
who were joined by pioneers from Argentina, France and South
major consideration and one doesn’t want to limit the guest list,
Africa. Horses and donkeys graze in the nearby fields.
wedding halls are good options. These can run as low as $25 per
Nir Am has both outside and inside dinner areas, including a
person at the Palace in the Talpiot neighborhood or as high as $50
Bedouin tent, a chupah frame of logs, and a large beautiful duck
for a location like the Pavillion, a new hall and conference center
pond filled with lily pads and bulrushes. The ducks wander freely
in Jerusalem.
among the guests. There is a fascinating water museum on a near-
hotels
by hill. The Nir Am area used to supply the water to the settlements of the Negev and also hosted various army divisions, who fought and hid there during the War of Independence. The outside seats up to 320 comfortably.
Some of the most luxurious weddings in Israel are held in hotels. David’s Citadel, the Inbal, and the Sheraton Jerusalem Plaza like most hotels, have different sized rooms for different sized affairs.
small and elegant in jerusalem Two popular venues for weddings or affairs for less than 200 people are Shulchan David and the Taverna restaurant, both in Jerusalem. Shulchan David, on Mount Zion, can accommodate between
60
| CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS | JS TYLE | WEDDINGS 2008
The Plaza has rooms that seat from 50-350 people; Phone: 972-2-629-8666; Fax: 972-2-623-1667. The Inbal. Phone: 972-2-675-6666; fax: 972-2-675-6777; e-mail: hotel@inbalhotel.com The Mount Zion Hotel is for smaller affairs, but has a won-
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derful view of the Old City walls, which are lit up at night, and the Valley of Hinom below. It can seat up to 200 in the winter and up to 250-300 if one adds the patio in more clement weather. hotel@mountzion.co.il; www.mountzion.co.il; Phone: 972-2568-9555, 972-2-673-1425. David’s Citadel is a more elegant hotel, with a similar view and a gourmet menu. Outside it can seat 100-150, and the large inside dining room accommodates approximately 300.
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Phone: 972-2-621-2235; fax 972-2-621-2323; e-mail: ban quet@tdchotel.com; website: www.thedavidcitadel.com. The Ramada is a favorite for those who want very large weddings in a closed hall that has a touch of opulence. It has a separate hall for the ceremony and the wedding feast. There is also the option of having the ceremony in a stunning outside setting with lots of foliage by the pool. Inside, the hotel seats up to 500 people, again – depending on how much space you want to leave for dancing. There is also the option of seating for 400 outside by the pool. Phone: 972-2-659-9970, ext. 1970; fax: 972-2-651-1976.
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Some of the information quoted here comes from wedding and event planner Aviva Yisraeli, but she warns that prices change and may fluctuate, depending on the number of people. Thursday night weddings are usually 20% more expensive, and Friday morning weddings are 20% less. Caterers offer different prices at various halls. As the number of people gets higher, the price per plate usually decreases. Reach Aviva at avivasutnick@yahoo.com. A comprehensive Hebrew language website is www.mitchatnim.co.il.
on the beach Beautiful weddings are held on beachfronts near Ashkelon and Caesarea, but my favorite beachfront wedding was that of our eldest daughter. The chupah was set at the edge of a lush, grassy lawn, the sun was low in the sky, the air was crystal clear, and the turquoise waves of the sea almost drowned out the sound of the blessings. It was at the seashore of Gush Katif, Gaza.
The author, a native Clevelander, has hosted three weddings in Israel and attended many more.
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PLANNING
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planning made perfect... or not by marilyn h. karfeld photography by marc golub at matina’s
LET’S get this out of the way up front. I am not a planner. I am not organized. Contrary to every authoritative source on running your life, I operate on the fly, intuitively relying on a decent memory and not much else. The make-a-pile system is my favored method of conducting my affairs. Worse, I have trouble making decisions. So the idea that I would be assigned to write an article about wedding planning is almost ludicrous, except for the fact that I am indeed planning one. Our daughter Lindsay is getting married in March, one year after becoming engaged to James Sulzer. Both from Cleveland, Lindsay and James grew up about five minutes apart in nearby suburbs but met for the first time three years ago at a graduate school party. (Both are Ph.D. candidates: James in mechanical engineering; Lindsay in chemical and biological engineering.) Every wedding-planning article starts with one ironclad principle: Buy and adhere to a printed planner, which details tasks and dates by which to complete those tasks. I’ve seen those planners on bookshelves. I’m not proud of
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CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS
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this, but I have not yet purchased, filled out, or consulted a planner.
to which I typically get a terse reply. Lindsay is an engineer, not a
Except for the live one I hired months ago, largely to run the
writer. There’s also been a healthy exchange of digital photos of ball-
show the day of the wedding. My husband Howard insisted she
room venues, bridesmaid dresses, floral arrangements and wedding
would enable us to get through the next year and more important-
gowns.
ly, the wedding day, with our marriage and our sanity still intact. I agreed.
and 2? No matter). Expect the unexpected.
Shortly after Lindsay and James’s engagement, I knew I had to
We selected The Hyatt Regency at the Arcade as the host hotel for
remedy my disorganization. I bought an expanding file for wed-
our out-of-town guests. Located in the historic Arcade, between
ding planning. It’s really a horizontal pile. Although I dutifully cre-
Superior and Euclid Avenues, we thought it the perfect spot for our
ated sections for the invitations, florist, hotels, wedding gown and
guests to sample Cleveland’s most lively entertainment scene, E. 4th
more, I’ve stuffed each category with all of the rejected ideas as
Street, during their pre-wedding leisure time.
well as the relevant pieces of paper.
None of us counted on Cleveland’s seemingly endless recon-
I’m not sure why, but I can’t bring myself to discard those
struction of Euclid Avenue, reminiscent of Dante’s eighth circle of
bands and wedding venues we
hell. Visions of guests traversing the
ruled out long ago. So, if you’re
cavernous gaping holes in Euclid
looking for ideas, I just might be able to help you. (Planning a wedding in Kansas City? I still have menus and price lists from Kansas
Cardinal Rule No. 3: Expect the unexpected.
Avenue, navigating huge sewer pipes and earthmoving equipment, were keeping me up nights. Naturally, when we booked The
vendors, saved from our son Brad’s
Union Club, we fully expected – no,
wedding several years ago.)
dreamed – that Euclid would be fin-
Lindsay, fortunately, is more organized than I am, but she’s in
ished long before Lindsay’s big day.
Chicago. With the pressure of research and scientific presentations,
Well, the construction is less of a mess now, but it’s not finished.
let alone her upcoming wedding, she’s “a stress ball,” as she often
So, instead of strolling a few blocks to The Union Club in Cleveland’s
tells me. So while I consult her daily (ask her about those loooong e-
crisp, dry March air, our guests will travel from the hotel to the wed-
mails), I am trying to keep the load on my shoulders.
ding in a van. (One more item added to our growing bottom line.)
Our bride had few if any preconceived notions about her nup-
Back to the fashion report. After shopping one long weekend
tials, although she and her groom wanted it to be in their home-
in Cleveland, hitting five bridal salons and trying on scores of
town of Cleveland. They love the urban scene, the hustle and grit,
white dresses, all of which looked gorgeous on her, Lindsay said
the stories of those who preceded them. They wanted their wedding
she wanted to buy her wedding gown in Chicago to make fittings
to be in a historic venue downtown.
easier.
After much debate, the drawing up of pro and con lists – oh, yes,
So last May, armed with names and addresses of bridal shops
I do that, but I don’t pay attention to them afterwards – we select-
gleaned off the Internet, maps and appointments (don’t dare show
ed The Union Club, a turn-of-the-century downtown landmark at
up without an appointment on a weekend), we set out to shop in
12th and Euclid.
Chicago. Traveling an hour in each direction to far-off suburbs was
Which brings up another crucial aspect of successful wedding planning. It’s a real plus if the bride and groom live in the town
only the beginning of what turned into a hectic, no-time-to-eat-orsleep weekend.
where they are getting married. While Lindsay and James have come
Lindsay’s close friend Lauren had also recommended a shop off
to Cleveland on occasion, usually for a wedding or a bachelor party
ritzy Michigan Avenue, which I was sure would be way too pricey
or some other festive event, fitting in meetings with the florist or
for our budget. As we entered the salon, a minimalistic white-walled
the videographer has been secondary at best, impossible at worst.
space unlike the romantic or homey shops we’d sampled thus far,
I’ve also traveled to Chicago twice to shop for bridal and bridesmaid gowns. But for the most part, we rely on my endless e-mails, 64
Which brings me to Cardinal Rule No. 3. (You missed rules 1
| CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS | JS TYLE | WEDDINGS 2008
we realized this was not a typical bridal operation. It is owned by a young couple, Carla and Kenneth. Graduates of
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The Art Institute of Chicago, they design and sew a limited number of wedding gowns right on the premises. Carla herself helped pin Lindsay into the samples, which fit almost perfectly.
to see which looked best. Choosing the band was another major project, this one overseen by my husband Howard. He’s the music authority in the family
Lindsay, whose ability to make a decision ranks right up there
because he played drums in the high-school band and loves rock ’n’
with my (deficient) math skills, soon announced she liked one of
roll. After hours of Internet surfing and exchanging DVDs by mail,
Carla’s gowns.
Howard, Lindsay and James decided on a band. Then, Howard and
“You mean you want to buy this one? This is it?” I was shocked. These young art-school grads and their fledging business definitely
I went to a roadside tavern in Sagamore Hills to hear the band perform live.
appealed to my artistic sensibilities. Still, I thought we should press
We booked the band, and at Thanksgiving, Lindsay and James
on to the next stop, keeping this beautiful gown in mind. But
joined the rest of the family to listen to our musicians in a North
Lindsay asked to be measured, and while we did hit one more salon,
Ridgeville lounge. Over cheap beer and eats, we again made an
she knew she had found her
evening of listening to a host of
dress. Late that afternoon, we
favorites, congratulating our-
returned with a deposit.
selves on our band selection.
A month later, I flew back to
My “live” wedding planner
Chicago, joining Lindsay’s sister
suggested the florist, whom I
Whitney, who had arrived from
found enthusiastic and creative at
New York. With sister-in-law Amy
our initial meetings. At his
(a Chicago resident) completing
request, Lindsay looked through
our foursome, we set out to find
wedding magazines, ripping out
bridesmaid dresses. Lindsay asked
pages of nuptial fetes whose
seven of her closest confidantes
ambience appealed to her. After
to be her attendants, and she wanted each one to wear a differ-
finally meeting our bride last Seeing Lindsay in dozens of wedding gowns as she made her selection was a highlight of Marilyn’s hectic year of planning.
August, the florist discovered a
ent but complementary shade. Even more difficult, the styles would be similar, but not matching.
pings and this fall presented me with the concept.
At our first stop, we found styles and colors that perhaps would
Unfortunately, his proposal exceeded my budget by a factor of
work together and please everyone. Two more shops later, we knew
three. More e-mails, more phone calls, and another meeting later,
we should have quit with our initial success. But no, the following
we compromised on a vision I found affordable.
day we dutifully trooped downtown to Macy’s and out west to a
While all of the big pieces are attended to (photographer, trio to
colossal store with a stupendous selection. Not one gown, let alone
play at the ceremony, invitations, wedding-cake design), each a
seven, passed muster.
project jammed into one of the precious weekends when Lindsay
By default, we returned to the first shop, selected the gowns, and
66
common theme in all of her clip-
was in town, myriad details remain.
assigned each style and color according to body type and skin tone.
At the moment, I’m searching for the right color paper for
The dresses showed up ahead of schedule, and miraculously all the
homemade post-wedding brunch invitations. Lindsay is finalizing
bridesmaids seemed to like them. Or were good liars. One veteran
the correct wording on the ketubah with the rabbi. We await our
bridesmaid whispered to Lindsay: ”I’ve never said this to a bride
Union Club tasting, scheduled for January, after this article goes
before, but I think I might wear this dress again!”
to press.
We found the flower girl dress online after checking out bridal
Would I recommend my haphazard technique of wedding plan-
shops and discovering that custom-made ensembles could run into
ning? No. But we think – or we hope – it’s worked for us. The proof:
the hundreds of dollars. One petite number was $520! – for a 3-
Watch for a photo of Lindsay and James in their wedding announce-
year-old! Reverting to our typical buy-and-return method, we
ment this spring. Or make that August. Late August. It will take me
selected three styles and sent them to the flower girl in Oklahoma
a while to select the best shot.
| CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS | JS TYLE | WEDDINGS 2008
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S P E C I A L A DV E RT I S I N G S E C T I O N
VENUES
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M U S TA R D S E E D M A R K E T CAFÉ
&
A unique natural foods market and café offering catering and reception spaces for special events. Solon: 440-519-3600. Montrose: 330-666-7333
CLEVELAND MUSEUM OF N AT U R A L H I S TO RY
A unique atmosphere for your unique event! Dine & dance among the dinosaurs! Create your event in one of our spectacular galleries. Visit www.cmnh.org for additional photos & rental information. 216-231-4600.
RENAISSANCE CLEVELAND H OT E L
Featuring the largest and most elaborate collection of ballroom and event space in the city to make your event memorable. 216-696-5600.
The elegant and timeless Van Sweringen Arcade at the H Y D E PA R K P R I M E S T E A K H O U S E – D OW N TOW N is one of Cleveland’s
best kept secrets for wedding receptions for up to 350 guests. www.hydeparkrestaurants.com. 216-514-2244.
The beautiful gardens and a historic Tudor Revival mansion at S TA N HYWET HALL
&
GARDENS
provide a timeless backdrop for any special occasion. 330-315-3235.
E X E C U T I V E C AT E R E R S
At your home or one of ours, we’ll make your wedding dreams come true. Call 440-449-0700 or visit us on-line at executivecaterers.com
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S P E C I A L A DV E RT I S I N G S E C T I O N
VENUES
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Share the memorable events of your life, with food, family and laughter. Come to MAGGIANO’ S.... where love is in every smile. 216-755-3013 The lovely Japanese garden at CLEVELAND BOTANICAL GARDEN is a favorite spot for wedding ceremonies. Cleveland Botanical Garden. 216-721-1600. www.cbgarden.org PLAYHOUSE SQUARE – From intimate gatherings to lavish receptions – we make magic happen. Set the stage for your perfect day! For details call 216-348-5274 or contact davisj@playhousesquare.org.
H O U S E O F B L U E S hosts all types of celebrations. Delicious menus feature Southern-style American cuisine. State-of-the-art sound, lighting and staging guarantees a richly unique and memorable experience. 216-274-3326.
SAMMY’ S offers gorgeous, exclusive
venues; world-class cuisine, friendly, attentive service with professional event planning. Whether at one of Sammy’s unique locations, your home or wherever you may be, “If it’s special, it’s Sammy’s!” 800-837-5899. www.sammys.com Whether you are planning an engagement party, bachelor(ette) party, rehearsal dinner or wedding reception, there’s no better way to make sure everyone has a good time than to bring them to DAVE & BUSTER’ S. 440-892-1415. www.daveandbusters.com MELANGE’ S great cuisine and inviting
ambiance is the perfect place for lunch, dinner or any occasion. Beautiful private rooms available. 216-378-9755.
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At the RITZ- CARLTON, CLEVELAND, your wedding will feel as unique and special as your undying love for each other. For more information call 216-623-1300. SEVERANCE HALL, one of Cleveland’s
most renowned landmarks, is available for your elegant and distinctive wedding reception, ceremony or photos. Contact Bob Bellamy at 216-231-7421. Picture your wedding at the awardwinning MARRIOTT CLEVELAND EAST, in our luxurious Ballroom, pampered by personal service to make your day one to remember. Call 216-378-9191.
A perfect place, with perfect flair that boasts perfect atmosphere and of course, perfect food, for your perfect party. PALADAR at Eton. 216-896-9020
WINDOWS ON THE RIVER for the
events that matter most! Choose from two spectacular rooms, both offering dazzling views of Cleveland’s skyline. For more information call 216-861-1445 or visit www.windowontheriver.com.
PHOTO / MARC GOLUB PHOTOGRAPHY
S P E C I A L A DV E RT I S I N G S E C T I O N
VENUES
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At HILTON CLEVELAND EAST/ BEACHWOOD our receptions
The wedding of your dreams begins at PARK SYNAGOGUE, Main or Park East. Call Mary at 216-371-2244, ext. 135. Pictured are Abigail and Matthew Silverman.
70
| CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS | JS TYLE | WEDDINGS 2008
PHOTO / WWW.LCDPHOTOGRAPHY.COM
get quite the reception. With over 16,000 sq. ft. of event space for receptions up to 500 people. 216-464-5950.
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INTERCONTINENTAL CLEVELAND
offers impeccable wedding experiences including customized menus, gourmet cuisine, stylish surroundings and detailed service unparalleled in the city. 216-707-4168.
GLIDDEN HOUSE HOTEL, Grand and
personal. 216-231-8900. www.gliddenhouse.com EMBASSY SUITES- BEACHWOOD – Perfect for your wedding reception, out-oftown guests or rehearsal dinner. The area’s only upscale, all-suite, full-service hotel. 216-765-8066.
Visit the area’s premier banquet facility! Extraordinary cuisine, incomparable service and convenient location. Serving up to 450 guests. HILTON GARDEN INN, CLEVELAND/ TWINSBURG,
330-405-4488.
Hawthorne Valley offers an intimate approach to planning your wedding day. Our personalized service and attention to detail will provide accommodation beyond expectation. HAWTHORNE VALLEY COUNTRY CLUB 440-232-1400.
Make your special day unforgettable at the CHAGRIN VALLEY ATHLETIC CLUB, with personal wedding planners catering to your every need. 440-543-5141.
THE BERTRAM INN & CONFERENCE CENTER
has multiple venues to accommodate 10-500 people. Toll free 877-995-0200. www.thebertraminn.com
CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS
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princess bride
Alfred Angelo silk satin two-piece gown features a crystal and pearl beaded strapless bodice. 72
Page 72
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Strapless lace-embroidered gown with circle skirt makes a luxurious statement. By Platinum for Priscilla of Boston.
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Crinkle silk chiffon ball gown, above, features a soft scalloped neckline with beaded embroidered bands. By Birnbaum & Bullock.
Silk taffeta ballgown, above, with sweetheart neck and three-quarter-length sleeves from Enzoani.
Fitted bodice on this Platinum Priscilla of Boston gown, right, is elaborately beaded. 74
| CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS | JS TYLE | WEDDINGS 2008
A silk taffeta V-neck ballgown, left, with wrapped bodice and beaded sash from Platinum for Melissa Sweet is a classic and feminine choice.
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Carolina Herrera strapless fan bodice gown, left, has a full taffeta and tulle skirt. Ribbon detailing and small bows at the bodice give the gown demure elegance.
Anjolique gown, below, with off-the-shoulder beaded and embroidered bodice over a layered organza skirt.
Alfred Angelo taffeta gown, above, accented with embroidery, crystal beading, and sequins, has a semicathedral train.
French lace accented with floral embroidery, right, enhances a Platinum for Priscilla of Boston gown. CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS
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M
ODERN DAY
fairy tale
Enjoy views of Cleveland's unique signature bridges and sparkling skyline while you and your guests celebrate one of the most important days of your life.
Enzoani gown, above, with slight sweetheart neckline, dropped waistline, and rouched bodice is topped by a silk bolero jacket that ties elegantly at the neck.strapless bodice.
With formal sitdown service for 50 to 450 and adjacent rooms available for cocktails,Windows on the River can accommodate any size wedding.
Wedding packages and special pricing available for Friday or Sunday receptions!
Call today for more information!
216.861.1445 z Powerhouse at Nautica www.windowsontheriver.com 76
| CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS | JS TYLE | WEDDINGS 2008
Silk satin and ribbon embroidered Alenรงon lace A-line gown, right, with bateau neckline and draped waistband. By Platinum for Priscilla of Boston.
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An embroidered inset of ice blue adds to the drama of this satin off-the-shoulder, reembroidered lace gown by Alfred Angelo.
happily ever after
Elaborate silk flowers and pleating create interest on the back of this Platinum gown.
78
A laced-up back complements the embroidered corset on this Platinum strapless silk satin gown.
| CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS | JS TYLE | WEDDINGS 2008
The tiered, pleated taffeta train makes the back of this Platinum gown as elegant as the front.
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PHOTO / imagechardon.com
SISTERS OF
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Travel is more than just A to B. Travel should make dreams come true. Whether it’s the rehearsal dinner, wedding reception, honeymoon suite or all three, let the Hilton Cleveland East/Beachwood make your special day event more special. For information and reservations, contact the Hilton Cleveland East/Beachwood at 216.464.5950 or visit us online for a virtual tour at http://www.hiltonclevelandeastbeachwood.com.
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STYLE
SNEAK peek photography by jamie janos
JENNA Sills of Solon and Aaron Lewis of Birmingham, Ala., are in the process of planning their fall wedding. To help Jenna visualize how she’ll look on her wedding day, jstyle WEDDINGS took her to Palmieri Salon and Spa at LaPláce and The Powder Room at Eton Chagrin Blvd. for a bridal make-over. Jenna’s hair was cut and highlighted the day before. At the photo shoot, Rachel Hart and Rory Cahn styled and added the finishing touches. Kelly Miron, owner of The Powder Room, created a natural, glowing look for Jenna’s special day. Paris Aurora tiara, $570, and Homa Creations veil, $500, from Matina’s.
n
Jumbo curlers and an iron are used to create soft curls in Jenna’s straight hair, far left. Rachel creates a garland of curls to circle the crown of Jenna’s head. Kelly uses a flat liner brush to tightline Jenna’s eyes, defining the lash line and making her lashes look fuller.
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Using a medium flesh tone pencil, Kelly fills in color on Jenna’s lips to add fullness and definition before applying lipstick. Kelly twirls color on Jenna’s cheeks to create a softer look and makes her look like she has a natural flush.
Glittering tiara and crystal-edged veil are the perfect complement to Jenna’s new look.
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From Ceremony to Celebration...
he T Wedding of
Photo by Alberto
Your Dreams Begins at Park!
Exciting bistro dining on East 185 th Street Comfortable and casual with creative menu that changes daily. —————————— Call or visit us online to see what we’re about and make a reservation 216 481 9635 www.bistro185.com —————————— 991 East 185th Street, Cleveland, Ohio
Proud member of Cleveland Independents
Picture your eitherofofour our Picture yourwedding wedding in in either beautiful Sanctuariesoror intimate beautiful Sanctuaries in in ourour intimate Chapel,followed followed a celebration on Chapel, by by a celebration in one The Bridge or inor our redecorated of our ballrooms on newly The Bridge. What Kangesser Ballroom. What could be more could be more perfect? Our expert staff perfect? Our expert staff is and panel and panel of kosher caterers ready to of kosher caterers are to help help you plan the event of ready your dreams. you plan at the(216) event of your dreams. Call Wendy 371-2244, ext. 135. Call Mary at (216) 371-2244, ext. 135.
Park Park Synagogue Synagogue
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| CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS | JS TYLE | WEDDINGS 2008
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walking down the aisle in style photography by beth segal
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| J S T Y LE | WEDDINGS 2008 | 87
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BODY SCULPTING - STRENGTH TRAINING Body Sculpting Strength Training exercise classes start the week of February 4th in Beachwood, Solon, Shaker Heights, Chagrin Falls, South Euclid, and Mayfield.
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1 Wade Oval Drive, University Circle Cleveland, OH 44106 (216) 231-4600 or 800-317-9155 www.cmnh.org CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS
| J S T Y LE | WEDDINGS 2008 | 87
STYLE
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ice-ing photography by beth segal flowers courtesy of flowers by stazzone Five-row pearl and diamond bracelet with hidden clasp, $4,890, from Alson Jewelers.
Pearl and diamond earrings, $960, from Alson Jewelers.
Floral diamond 18K white gold necklace, $6,100, from Michael Hayes Designer.
18K fancy link diamond cluster necklace, $7,825; 18K drop diamond earrings, $1,700, both from Robert & Gabriel Jewelers.
18K diamond necklace by Gregg Ruth, $6,462, from MANN.
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Five-station pearl and diamond necklace, $2,590, Alson Jewelers.
18K open circle diamond pendant with suspended pavĂŠ ball, $2,995, Robert & Gabriel.
Two-tone 18K diamond bracelet, $5,995, Robert & Gabriel.
Tahitian South Sea pearl earrings with diamond, $3,000; Tahitian strand of pearls with diamonds, $16,250, MANN.
CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS
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| CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS | JS TYLE | WEDDINGS 2008
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STYLE
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jump start the classic tux by sharon mosley
92
THE BRIDE may get most of the attention when it comes
Oliveira suggests pairing a mandarin-collar tuxedo with a
to wedding fashions, but today the groom and his group of
white-banded collar shirt accented by a vest. “The tie can be left
guys are making a fashion statement of their own. Of course,
off completely,” she says. “The look is clean and modern without
they still take their cues from the bride and her attendants. But
losing an ounce of formality.”
once the bride makes some basic decisions, the men can take
Less may be more when it comes to wearing a tuxedo these
the tux and run with it, coming up with a new way to say “I
days. “While it’s true that a tuxedo is most appropriate for a
do” with creative style.
black-tie event, the look can be modernized for dressy evening
“There are several ways a classic tuxedo can be updated to fit
wear with a beautiful dress shirt left open at the collar, sans
a groom’s personal sense of style without losing a timeless look,”
tie,” she says. “Pairing the tux with a point-collar shirt instead
says Marilyn Oliveira, senior editor of WeddingChannel.com.
of one with a wing collar will tone down the formality level,
“Many grooms are choosing a long tie with matching vest –
and leaving off accessories such as button covers will update
which come in a variety of colors, styles and patterns.”
the look as well.”
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ways to customize formalwear • Start by consulting with your bride. Yes, it’s your wedding, too, but the ladies usually have definite ideas about what their wedding party is going to wear down the aisle. They’ve usually been thinking about it for a long time. So go with the ebb and flow of deci-
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sions that will probably change several times during the initial planning stage. • When she decides on a “color,” then it’s time to talk tuxes with a knowledgeable formalwear retailer who can guide you through coordinating choices of ties, vests, suits and shirts. There are dozens of ways to put together a unique look for your wedding. Color is one of the most important ways to make your wedding pictures memorable.
LAUREN RALPH LAUREN
• You will also need to know how formal your ceremony will be to determine the style of formalwear, from white tie and tails on the most formal end to suits and ties for more casual weddings. A black vest with a subtly pinstriped tuxedo and black long tie or bow tie is one of the most formal looks, but tuxedos can be given a jolt of color with a coordinating vest and tie in one of the season’s hottest hues from metallics in silver and gold to tropical
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ocean colors like coral, lime, purple and turquoise. Watch for chocolate to be a new tuxedo color that works well with the coffee colors in bridal fashions. • Don’t be afraid to consult the Internet before you visit your formalwear retailer. Many stores have helpful information on
Dress Well. Be Fabulous.
their websites that will guide you through the process of buying or renting a tuxedo, providing valuable tips and information before you even step inside their doors.
n
©Copley News Service
ETON • CHAGRIN BOULEVARD 28601 CHAGRIN BOULEVARD 216.464.0800
CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS
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STYLE
094-095_jsW_37_storage
tlc for the gown ASK any bride and she probably has a specific plan for cleaning and preserving her wedding dress after the big day. But proper care and storage of the gown in the days leading up to the wedding are essential for that long walk down the aisle when all eyes are on the bride. Most brides pick up their dresses two or three days before the wedding. They have been through a number of fittings in the weeks prior, and the final fitting is usually done one week before the wedding. When alterations are complete, the dress is usually pressed and bagged for pickup. Jane Skarosi, a bridal consultant, recommends removing the dress from its bag when you get it home and hanging it in an out-of-the-way place. If the dress has a full train, spread it out over a clean sheet that’s been unfolded on the floor beneath the hanging dress. The bridal store may stuff the bodice with tissue to keep its shape. If so, you can leave the padding in place until it’s time to don the dress. The skirt can be similarly stuffed to maintain its fullness and avoid wrinkles. The basement may seem like an ideal spot to hang the dress, but Skarosi warns that overheard water pipes may drip, even in a finished basement where pipes aren’t exposed. A guest bedroom or spacious closet is a safer alternative. Pets are another potential problem. “Keep the dress away from animals. Cats love to scratch, and they can cause major damage to a delicate wedding dress,” she says.
PHOTO / COURTESY PLATINUM
by lori harlan
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Set the perfect stage for your own magical production! If you are getting ready for the wedding at a hotel, Skarosi cautions against using the iron provided in the room. “Never use a hotel iron. There’s no way to know what it’s been used for, and it can be stained and transfer the stain to your dress,” she cautions.
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Instead, use your own iron – one you know is clean with no buildup – on a low setting with no water. Either iron the dress from the inside or iron it under a piece of white cloth (like a clean sheet) to protect the fabric. “Consider your options before ironing. A bit of wrinkle is better than a big burn spot or stain from the iron,” Skarosi says. “Most people aren’t used to ironing regularly. They don’t know the fabrics and what heat they can handle.” Skarosi doesn’t recommend steamers, nor does she use them in her own shop because they tend to drip, and water spots show, especially on silk fabrics. The key to a pristine dress is prevention, according to Skarosi. “Keep people away from your dress before the wedding. Hugs are a great way to transfer makeup and other hard-to-remove stains. Keep people at arm’s length because the last thing you want is Aunt Rose’s red lipstick on your beautiful gown as you’re coming down the aisle,” she says with a laugh. Use caution (such as draping yourself in a clean sheet or towel) when applying makeup, and only drink clear liquids while wearing the dress. If you spill or drip, clear liquids won’t show up immediately like cola or coffee will. Popular spray tans and self-tanners seep into people’s pores and,
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like makeup, can also rub off on your dress, creating a yelloworange stain that’s hard to remove. If you notice a spot and it’s minor, Skarosi says it’s best to leave it alone. You cause more trouble – and ultimately call more atten-
THAN JUST AN EVENT IT’S MORE
It’s a memory created just for you!
tion to the stain – when you try to get it out. “Brides need to be prepared for accidents but more important-
CATERING EXCLUSIVELY BY
ly should try to prevent them,” she says. “You need time to clean stains, and most brides don’t have a lot of extra time on their wedding day.”
n
© Copley News Service
P L A Y H O U S E
S Q U A R E
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STYLE
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(brides)maid to order by sharon mosley
• The general rule of thumb: Silhouettes of the dresses should
WITH the trend toward gowns that fit and flatter each individ-
be similar if the fabric is not identical for each bridesmaid; or if
ual, it’s never been easier to dress your bridesmaids. Here are
the dresses are different, the fabric should be similar.
some simple rules to keep in mind when choosing gowns for your bridal party. • First, consider finances. If you plan to pay for all or a portion of your wedding party’s finery, say so up front when you ask your
• Consider all sizes and shapes. Your sister may be a size 4, but your best friend may be a size 14. Not all dress styles are made to flatter every figure. Be aware of your attendants’ particular style issues, and be sensitive to their feelings, too.
friends to take part in your wedding. Otherwise, someone might
• Age is a factor. If one of your attendants is an older family
decline based on her inability to cough up $100 or $500 for a
member or friend, avoid squeezing her into a pouffy little taffe-
dress she might never wear again.
ta number. She will feel ridiculous and uncomfortable. Ditto for
• Include your bridesmaids in the selection of their own dresses. Sure, you can set the tone on color and style, but many con-
younger members of the wedding party for whom a dress too sophisticated or “vampy” would be inappropriate.
temporary brides-to-be let their bridesmaids select the dresses
• If you are buying all your dresses from one retailer, you may
that feel most comfortable. Many bridal manufacturers have made
receive a discount. It never hurts to ask, and your bridesmaids
it simple, providing lots of choices of coordinating separates and
will appreciate the gesture if they are buying their own dresses.
accessories.
• If ordering from a website, make sure you order dresses far enough in advance, in case there are sizing or color problems. There’s nothing like getting close to the date of your wedding
96
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and having to rethink your whole bridal party’s attire because one bridesmaid’s size was unavailable. • Check out unconventional ways to buy your bridesmaid’s dresses. If you have the time, check out a variety of possibilities. Some national chains like J.Crew, Ann Taylor and Banana Republic are great places to scout out bargains. • Don’t forget to allow time for alterations. Dresses, especially those off the rack, rarely fit perfectly. Consider these costs when pricing dresses. • Don’t get hung up on the little details. It’s best to keep the accessories on the simple side. If there is a special pearl necklace or silver bracelet you want your attendants to wear, you might consider giving accessories to them as their gift before the ceremony.
n
© Copley News Service
Buttons down the back of this dress open at the bottom to reveal a white insert in the train. Gown from Alfred Angelo.
Elegant burgundy satin gown, far left, features a balloon bottom. Short and sassy in gold brocade, left. Both from Priscilla of Boston.
096-099_jsW_19_maids
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A grand entrance for a grand celebration. Classic fitted sequin tank sheath by Maggie London, trimmed in satin, the scalloped hemline elongates the body. DILLARD’ S 216-464-6000.
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100-101_jsW_VA_style
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| CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS | JS TYLE | WEDDINGS 2008
S P E C I A L A DV E RT I S I N G S E C T I O N
STYLE
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Vera Wang Maids. Available at MATINA’ S. 216-464-1288 or visit us online at www.matinasbridal.com
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ADINA & COMPANY’ S clothing selections and exclusive personal style services ensures that our customers are always well dressed. 216-292-0101. www.adinaandcompany.com
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TRADITION
PHOTO / SYLVART OF BARBERTON
102-105_jsW_21_Marty
the dress circle by susan h. kahn
Martha Axner married Ronald Rosenfield in this lovely gown in August 1964.
1964 DESPITE their beauty, expense, and the care that goes into
with an empire waist marked by a narrow band and a flat bow.
choosing them, most wedding gowns are worn only once. But
The demure scoop-necked bodice with short sleeves was made of
the gown Martha Axner purchased for her 1964 wedding to
rose-patterned lace embellished with pink seed pearls. An over-
Ronald Rosenfield has become a family heirloom. The magnifi-
skirt of the same scalloped lace gracefully fluttered when she
cent ivory silk Bianchi gown, bought at the now-extinct Bonwit
walked.
Teller store in Cleveland, has been worn by all three of the couple’s daughters. Typical of the era, Martha’s dress had an A-line style silhouette 102
| CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS | JS TYLE | WEDDINGS 2008
Following the wedding, Martha’s mother had the gown cleaned and preserved; it sat untouched in a closet for the next 30 years. Then Martha’s eldest daughter got engaged.
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PHOTO / CUTRI PHOTO ARTS
PHOTO / HERB ASCHERMAN
102-105_jsW_21_Marty
1995
2001
2007
Marla Rosenfield married Todd Darling in September 1995. She made minor changes to her mother’s gown, taking the scoop neckline off the shoulder and removing the bowtrimmed waistband. “For me, it was less about the dress than about what the dress meant,” she says. “It was a privilege and an honor to wear the dress and it was extremely meaningful to my mom.”
Jamie Rosenfield married Robert Hardis in June 2001. Her version of the gown was sleeveless with a higher illusion neckline. She restored the waistband to emphasize the gown’s empire line. “On my wedding day, I thought a lot about the meaning the dress held for my grandmother, who preserved it so carefully after my parents’ wedding, without having any idea of the importance it would take on in our family.”
Dauri Rosenfield married Daniel Hammer in June 2007. Because she wanted a strapless gown with a natural waist, a new bustier bodice was created using the original lace. A satin sash covers the waist seam. “I felt proud to be wearing the dress, and I know how much it meant to my mother and sisters,” she says. “What we have done is rare and special, and the most amazing part is that I know this story doesn’t end with me.”
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PHOTO / CUTRI PHOTO ARTS
102-105_jsW_21_Marty
The dress circle – Dauri, at her 2007 wedding, surrounded by her sisters Marla, left, and Jamie and her mother Martha.
“I grew up seeing my mom’s wedding portrait, and I always
“On my wedding day, I thought about how my mom and sis-
thought I would wear her dress,” says Marla, who was married
ter must have felt wearing the dress,” Jamie reflects. “I also
in 1995. “Even though I looked at a few new gowns, I didn’t like
thought a lot about the meaning the dress held for my grand-
anything I saw.”
mother, who saw all three of us married in it.”
Martha was “extremely skeptical” that her dress would be in
When youngest daughter Dauri was planning her 2007 wed-
wearable condition. But she and Marla were delighted to find the
ding, she was eager to carry on the tradition of wearing the
gown “came out like new” when freed from its hermetically
dress, but she was worried about the fit. Trusso no longer designs
sealed box.
clothing, so the Rosenfields consulted a seamstress who makes
Because the dress needed some alterations to fit Marla, the Rosenfields took it to Cleveland designer Russell Trusso, who also
“I had a pretty good idea of the style I wanted – strapless with
made some style changes. To update the dress, he removed the
a natural waist,” says Dauri. “But I wanted to keep as much of the
waistband, opened up the neckline and moved the sleeves off the
original dress as possible.”
shoulder. He also made Marla a new veil, expertly matching the vintage lace of the dress. “I loved the dress. It was unique, and I liked the vintage look,” Marla recalls. “It was extremely meaningful to me to be married in my mother’s dress.” When her second daughter got engaged, Martha asked if she, too, wanted to wear the dress. Jamie said yes immediately. “Instead of shopping for other options, I focused on how to
104
wedding gowns.
The seamstress built Dauri a bustier top covered in the original lace and attached it to the original skirt. She created a sash to hide the waist seam and used the original button placket to cover the zipper. Dauri opted for a new, shorter veil. “You could still tell it was my mother’s dress, but at the same time, it looked brand new,” says Dauri. “I felt very proud to be wearing it, and I know how much it meant to my mom and sisters.”
make the dress work for me,” says Jamie. “It was important to me
Martha says guests who have attended all four weddings mar-
to have the dress reflect my own style but also to change it as lit-
veled at each new incarnation of the gown. Now a grandmother,
tle as possible.”
Martha says the dress will be preserved for the next generation.
Again, Trusso modified the dress. For Jamie’s June 2001 wed-
“This tradition has become part of an evolving story in our
ding, the designer created a higher illusion neckline and
family, one that I hope will continue with my daughter Audrey,”
removed the sleeves. Because Jamie loved the empire style, he
says Jamie. “There is a special connection that I share only with
raised the waist and restored the waistband. He also shortened
my mom and sisters because of this dress, one that has added
Marla’s veil.
meaning to each of our lives.”
| CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS | JS TYLE | WEDDINGS 2008
n
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| J ST Y LE | WEDDINGS 2008 | 105
TRADITION
106-109_jsW_23_mazelStuff
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mazelstuff Great ideas for the perfect wedding gift.
1. Simon Pearce handblown Vermont glass candleholders. Tall, $165, Medium, $125, Mulholland & Sachs. 2. Kosta Boda purple heart vase, $350, Berger & Silver Jewelers. 3. Michael Aram Lotus Stem pitcher, $225, Robert & Gabriel Jewelers. 4. Simon Pearce handblown Vermont glass candleholder, $50, Mulholland & Sachs. 5. Amethyst seaglass plate, $55, Riverside heart plate, $40, Robert & Gabriel Jewelers.
1
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6. Steuben Bouquet vase, $520, Shulan’s Fairlawn Jewelers. 7. Nambé Love bowl, $95, Robert & Gabriel Jewelers. 8. Jay Strongwater Cake Knife, $395, Berger & Silver Jewelers.
3
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5
6
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| CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS | JS TYLE | WEDDINGS 2008
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| J ST Y LE | WEDDINGS 2008 | 107
106-109_jsW_23_mazelStuff
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mazelstuff too Great ideas for the perfect wedding gift.
1. Beloved Menorah with glass tube, $165, Robert & Gabriel Jewelers. 2. Shraga Landesman cast aluminum candleholder, $135, Treasures Gift Shop. 3. Gary Rosenthal havdalah set, $140, Jacob’s Judaic. 4. Ester Shahar glass candleholders with beadwork, $144, Treasures Gift Shop. 5. Caesarea Arts Jerusalem stone seder plate, $250, Treasures Gift Shop. 6. Bride & Groom Mezuzah, $145, Robert & Gabriel Jewelers. 7. Netafin sterling silver “Ani l’dodi v’didi li” Kiddush cup, Jacob’s Judaic.
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1
2
3
4
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| CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS | JS TYLE | WEDDINGS 2008
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| J ST Y LE | WEDDINGS 2008 | 109
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TRADITION
110-113_jsW_09_interfaith
something something something something
old, new, gentile, jew by margi herwald zitelli
“WHO’S going to marry you?” When my mother asked me this question shortly after my
side the faith. Even so, many rabbis (and other clergy, Jewish and
husband and I got engaged, I had to admit I didn’t know the
non-Jewish) won’t perform interfaith marriages. So who marries
answer.
you? What happens in your ceremony? How do you honor both
I am Jewish. My husband Matt is Catholic. When we set about planning our 2006 wedding, we had an easy time selecting a band and flowers. Figuring out what kind of ceremony we’d have was far more challenging. According to the National Jewish Population Survey released
110
by United Jewish Communities in 2001, 47% of Jews marry out-
| CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS | JS TYLE | WEDDINGS 2008
traditions, making everyone happy while making spiritual and logical sense? Matt and I didn’t know the answers to any of these questions, even after discussing it frankly and researching interfaith wedding ceremonies. So, we started from scratch and created our
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PHOTOS/ LCD PHOTOGRAPHY
110-113_jsW_09_interfaith
Margi and Matt Zitelli dance the hora, left, and light a unity candle (in front of the ketubah) at their interfaith wedding.
own ceremony. Luckily, we had a good friend, David, who was ordained. We had attended several weddings where he officiated, and we knew he would help us put together something unique and highly personal. Matt and I chose those elements of our respective faiths we wanted to include within these guidelines: no Hebrew and no mention of Jesus. All mention of God would be simply of â&#x20AC;&#x153;God.â&#x20AC;? I had a much easier go of it. I knew exactly what I wanted: a
ketubah (there are interfaith ones available), a chupah, to have Matt
CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS
| J ST Y LE | WEDDINGS 2008 | 111
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break the glass (which he was very excited about doing). Matt,
A tablecloth sent from Mike’s grandmother in Denmark became
however, had a difficult time deciding what elements of his reli-
their chupah. The Hagesfelds also found opportunity to combine
gion to include. The tradition in Catholic weddings is to have a
their families through the sheva brachot. Instead of having Rabbi
priest perform a Mass. There were very few rituals that could be
Segar recite the standard blessings, they chose family members
lifted from that for our wedding.
and friends to speak on the theme of each traditional blessing.
Ultimately, he decided we would light a unity candle and have our guests make the sign of peace. Both are Christian traditions, not specifically Catholic, but they reflected Matt’s beliefs in the
Each participant selected his or her own reading; Mike’s mother delivered hers in Danish. “My family kept kosher; Mike’s didn’t,” Elise notes. “So, we solved that problem by making everything vegetarian.” Later in
way he wanted. After hearing my father-in-law say grace at Matt’s brother’s
the evening, wedding guests in Cleveland engaged in a coordi-
wedding, I had one more idea of how to blend our faiths. At the
nated, simultaneous toast to the couple with relatives in PHOTO/ CUTRI PHOTO ARTS
reception, we had our fathers stand up together, mine to say kiddush and motzi in Hebrew, and Matt’s to say grace. Our band director added an element of
humor:
He
played
When the wedding was over, Elise and Mike returned to their house to find relatives had built a traditional Danish pinebough arch over their door.
“Tradition” from “Fiddler on
They had covered the arch with
the Roof” to introduce the dads
roses to welcome the newly-
and then played them off to the
weds home.
theme from “The Godfather.”
Prior to the wedding, Elise
The blending of two tradi-
and Mike celebrated an aufruf
tions meant something else
with Segar at the Reconstruc-
entirely to our friends Elise
tionist Havurah (now called
(née
Mike
Kol HaLev). “It was probably
Hagesfeld of Cleveland Heights
the only time my parents have
when they married in 2004.
ever been to shul,” Mike says
Elise, a full-time Ph.D. student
with a grin.
Collin)
and
at Case, is Jewish. Mike, a Web
Both the Hagesfelds and
developer for Aztek Creative,
Matt and I found that a critical
considers himself agnostic. The
element to our weddings was
pair opted for a full-on Jewish wedding led by Rabbi Steve
Mike and Elise Hagesfeld stomp the glass at their wedding – a tradtional Jewish ceremony with Danish culture mixed in.
education. We both created programs that explained the various rituals taking place (Elise
Segar. The rabbi agreed to marry the couple, even though Mike didn’t convert, because they plan
even provided Hebrew translations in hers), and our officiants
to raise their children Jewish. The trick was finding ways to
each worked verbal explanation into the text of the ceremony.
include Mike’s Christian family through cultural tradition rather than religion. “I wanted to make sure there was a part of me in it, not like it was Elise’s wedding and I just showed up,” Mike recalls. Mike’s mother is Danish, so the couple looked to infuse as much Danish tradition as they could into their wedding weekend. 112
Denmark.
| CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS | JS TYLE | WEDDINGS 2008
“Our wedding attendance was probably 60-40 non-Jews,” Elise estimates. “The overall response we got was very positive. People said they learned a lot and felt like it reflected both of us.” To Elise’s great surprise, when Segar began a nigun (wordless song of prayer), the entire crowd, Jews and non-Jews, joined him in singing.
n
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| J ST Y LE | WEDDINGS 2008 | 113
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TRADITION
114-117_jsW_24_cookbook
F R O M C H U PA H TO K I T C H E N :
a cookbook by ‘the bride who knew nothing’
by stephanie garber
LIKE most women I know, I have an extensive collection of
purchased all rolled up in one gorgeous, coffee-table-book-sized
cookbooks: regional cookbooks; baking cookbooks (in addition
volume.
to four bread-baking cookbooks, two cookie books, and two
Quick & Kosher covers the gamut from the simple (guacamole
muffin books); healthy cookbooks; kosher cookbooks; holiday
and chips) to the sublime (standing rib roast) and includes fancy
cookbooks; “quick,” “easy,” and “gourmet” cookbooks; cook-
recipes for entertaining (caviar and chive cream cheese) as well
books I bought just for the gorgeous pictures; and fundraiser
as homey, comfort foods (baked cheesey vegetable crocks). The
cookbooks I’ve purchased to support various causes.
book has 120 beautiful, full-page pictures complementing the
My husband once wryly noted that if I cooked as much as I looked at my cookbooks, “we could have some pretty good meals around here.” With two decades-plus of cookbook purchasing under my belt, I have just found the perfect cookbook. Jamie Geller’s Quick
114
160 recipes. The defining feature, however, that makes Quick & Kosher the idyllic cookbook to cook by is that the prep time for every recipe is 15 minutes or less. In fact, Quick & Kosher touts itself as “the only cookbook designed to get you out of the kitchen.”
& Kosher: Recipes from the bride who knew nothing (Feldheim Publishers,
Labeling herself as “the bride who knew nothing,” author
350 pp., $35) has the good qualities of every cookbook I’ve ever
Geller admits she was a fast-track executive whose culinary skills
| CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS | JS TYLE | WEDDINGS 2008
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were nil. Most of us can relate to Geller who, prior to marriage, was simply a paper-plate-and-take-out kind of gal. Post-chupah, Geller learned to navigate around the kitchen, grocery store, and wine cellar, all skills she shares with the reader. The book begins with a section on setting up your kitchen: equipment; spices; pantry items; fridge, freezer and veggie bin staples; and condiments. About midway through are sections on shopping (with advice given from experts in each topic): how to
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A ba’al teshuvah (newly observant Jew) prior to meeting her husband, Geller is now the host of the OU cooking show “Simply Kosher.” Like a kosher kitchen, Geller’s cookbook has separate sections for non-dairy (including meat and pareve) recipes and for dairy recipes. Another handy feature of Quick & Kosher is a special section on
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“Jewish Holidays and the Family Chef.” Geller gives a brief intro to and menus for Shabbat, Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur (menu for the erev-Yom Kipper dinner), Succot, Shemini Atzeret and Simchat Torah, Chanukah, Purim, Shavuot, and “The Biggie” – Passover. A sense of humor is something you rarely find in a cookbook – but remember, this is the perfect cookbook! The wit of “the
We’ve got it all wrapped up! The perfect spot for
bride who knew nothing” shines from the intro (“turn off the
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Wedding Receptions
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6025 Kruse Dr. Solon, OH 44139 Banquets 440.519.3600 Catering 440.519.3663 Toll-Free 877.496.3663 3885 W. Market St. Akron, OH 44333 330.666.7333 888.476.2379 www.mustardseedmarket.com CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS
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B A K E D C H E E S Y V E G E TA B L E C RO C K S
D A I RY SERVES
4
4 celery stalks, chopped 16 grape tomatoes, halved 1 (15 oz) can sweet yellow corn niblets, drained 4 scallions, diced 1/2 t celery salt 1/4 t white pepper 4 (1 oz) garlic-and-herb soft cheese triangles ½ C plain yogurt 1/4 C heavy cream 4 T grated parmesan Preheat oven to 400° F. Evenly divide celery, tomatoes, corn and scallions among four 7-oz ramekins. Sprinkle with celery salt and white pepper. In small bowl, mix cheese, yogurt and heavy cream until smooth; spoon 3 tablespoons of mixture into each ramekin.Top each dish with 1 tablespoon parmesan. Bake uncovered for 30 minutes, until hot and cheese has formed a crust. Serve warm.
B E R RY B RU L É E
D A I RY SERVES
4
2 C assorted frozen berries (strawberries, blueberries, raspberries) 4 t fruit liqueur 1/2 C heavy cream 1 C prepared vanilla custard or pudding 1/2 C turbinado sugar (sugar in the raw) Preheat broiler. Divide berries evenly among four 7-oz. ramekins. In small bowl, mix together liqueur, heavy cream and custard, and spoon over berries. Sprinkle 2 tablespoons sugar over each serving. Broil 2-4 minutes until sugar melts and caramelizes, turning brown and bubbly. Serve while still hot.
From Quick & Kosher: Recipes From The Bride Who Knew Nothing by Jamie Geller. 116
| CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS | JS TYLE | WEDDINGS 2008
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a beautiful contract by michelle alperin
PHOTO S / SUSI E CONE PORGES
TRADITION
118-121_jsW_35_ketubah
THAT special tug of the heart that signals a potential marriage prospect can happen quickly or slowly, with Sturm
und Drang or with quiet empathy. It depends entirely on the individuals involved. To express the distinctiveness of their own relationships, many contemporary couples develop ketubot with original texts and artwork. One couple who approached ketubah artist Elaine Adler met while doing contact dancing (where dance is motivated by bodily contact among the dancers). The bride-to-be told Adler that one day, when she felt a hand on her back during a dance, she knew the touch belonged to the man she was going to marry. He is now her fiancé. Trying to capture the physical spark that drew this man and woman together, Adler sketched two interlacing trees, but she 118
| CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS | JS TYLE | WEDDINGS 2008
didn’t like them. So she had the couple touch foreheads and start to roll off one another as they might in a dance. She took a mental snapshot and used it to redesign the two trees at the center of the couple’s ketubah. One bride likened the series of meetings with Adler to the prenuptial discussions with the rabbi who would marry them. For Donna and David Frieze, each of the ketubah’s four corners featured a place significant for them: New York City, where they married; Israel, where a visit prompted a career change and thoughts about conversion; Boston, where they live; and Austin, Texas, where David spent a decade. Allusions in the ketubah
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PHOTO / NANC Y SCHW ARTZ-KA TZ
118-121_jsW_35_ketubah
included the Charles River in Boston and
Stephanie Shemin and
a bride and groom atop the Empire State
Koby Feingold, both lawyers,
Building.
followed a process much like
Another ketubah artist, Jessica Kraft,
the negotiation of a contract, a
expresses the essence of a relationship
ketubah being, after all, a mar-
less in individual details and more in
riage contract. Shemin made two
an overall gestalt. She works to find
copies of several ketubot she
images that capture the essence of
liked. Then she and Feingold cir-
the bride and groom. In her own
cled paragraphs and phrases that
ketubah, her favorite flower, the
resonated with them, and each
purple iris, represented her, and
drafted a mock ketubah. Then they
she used a hummingbird to symbolize her track-running
compared notes, weighing what each
husband.
had and had not included.
Other couples choose Jewish symbols – a menorah, Hebrew
The two attorneys took the process very seriously. They felt
letters, or the fertile pomegranate. “The ketubah is a talisman-like
they could justify the expense of their personalized ketubah by
document,” explains Kraft. “You can use symbols to call on spir-
considering it their wedding present to each other; it would
itual values and bring them to life in the visual aspect of the doc-
always remind them about their dreams and what is important to
ument.”
them as they step into the future
The ketubah Kraft designed for her cousin Raychel Colen
together. “It is the foundation of why
includes pen-and-ink drawings in blockprint style,
we were getting married and what
alluding to Colen’s mother’s work as a
we wanted our marriage to be.”
print artist, and an outdoor snap-
Rabbi Jill Jacobs and Guy
shot of a place significant for the
Austrian did not start with sam-
newlyweds, who moved to Oregon
ples, but instead envisioned a
because of their love of the outdoors.
structure for organizing the
But visual images are only part of
body of their ketubah. It
the story. Many couples create together ES ORG NE P
with each other and what they aspire to in
mulas
IE CO
emotional obligations they are taking on
obligatory Jewish legal for-
their marriage. This may appear with all or
a
SUS TO / PHO
a ketubah that describes in English the
started and ended with
ketubah.
delineated their responsibilities to
separately sign a traditional ketubah.
120
kosher
for
Between these, they
part of the traditional text, or the couple may
Most couples start by researching existing
required
each other’s individual aspirations, their partnership as an egalitarian couple, and their communal obligations.
texts, using samples provided by the ketubah artist, texts they find
“We didn’t want our individual selves to be lost in the part-
on the Internet, or in Anita Diamant’s book The New Jewish Wedding.
nership,” said Jacobs, “and we don’t want to be a self-contained
Then they tweak, modify, delete, and add – trying to fashion a
unit that doesn’t feel partnership and responsibility to the com-
document that reflects their uniqueness as a couple.
munity.”
| CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS | JS TYLE | WEDDINGS 2008
n
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TRADITION
many faces of marriage by violet spevack
C ANTOR S ARAH J. S AGER
AND
B ILL J OSEPH
Cantor Sarah J. Sager and Bill Joseph, prominent community leader and attorney, were introduced by her sister Sharon Freimuth 20 years ago and have been married for 18. Their effervescent personalities coupled with their love of family, Judaism, community and music, made it a perfect match. A blended family that never really blended, says Bill. Sarah and Bill live busy, intense, hectic and wonderfully full lives. Making time for each other is a must. “Our most precious moments
B ETH
AND
D R . A LAN K UHEL
Alan Kuhel met Beth Morgenstern on the first day of undergrad at the University of Michigan. His heart beat fast as he told her she was the girl he was meant to marry. It was beshert. On June 23, 1985, the couple was united in marriage. They planned to live in Washington, D.C., after Alan completed his residency in anesthesia and Beth completed her MBA. Beth’s crafty dad, Conrad Morgenstern, mailed the couple the Yellow Pages of the Cleveland phone book and circled Hillcrest Hospital, noting Cleveland as the best place to
practice, live and raise children. Alan threw the letter away. But that, too, was beshert. Through a series of coincidences, they ended up in Cleveland, with Alan working at Hillcrest Hospital. Their children, Ryan and Tali, are both enrolled in Fuchs Mizrachi’s high school. The Kuhels, ardent students of Torah and Talmud, have followed their hearts and minds to Orthodox Judaism and are active participants in Aish HaTorah and Chabad. “Our marriage has been enriched and has thrived as we have grown in Torah wisdom and observance.”
S HIRLEY
AND
ROBERT Z OBER
When Shirley and Robert Zober were standing in front of the rabbi, Robert could hardly wait to say the magic words “I do.” Now, 64 years later, he proudly still says magic words, but now it’s, “Yes, dear.” Robert was a private in the Army, making just $101 a month when Shirley and he got married and started their family. When the war was over, they moved back to Cleveland. Life was filled
R ITA
AND
M ARVIN L OCKMAN
In the mid-1950s, nice Jewish boys used to crash parties to meet nice Jewish girls. When Marv Lockman crashed Rita Pavny’s Sweet 16 birthday party on Aug. 8, 1952, it turned out to be a love affair that is still going on 51 years later. Their wedding at the old Heights Temple, officiated by Rabbi Rudolph Rosenthal on Aug. 12, 1956, was attended by 500 people. “All of
122
are when we go on long walks together, mostly in our own Shaker Heights neighborhood,” says Sarah. “Sarah always walks faster than I; that’s why God created cell phones,” quips Bill “Laughter is an important part of our relationship. I believe that Bill married me primarily because I am the ‘straight man’ to his always irreverent humor,” warbles Sarah, who always voices the last note.
them were relatives,” quipped Rita. With their married children, three daughters and a married son, and seven grandchildren, they still enjoy large family get-togethers. Marv’s diverse artworks grace their home, while Rita’s creatively themed challahs are the talk of the town. The couple’s computerized greeting cards, with poetry by Rita and art by Marv, are spectacular.
| CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS | JS TYLE | WEDDINGS 2008
with working together in the family’s retail business, raising their children, volunteering at Temple Emanu El, and traveling all over the world. There isn’t a day that goes by that they don’t say how fortunate they are to enjoy a wonderful life together, filled with happiness and good health.
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G L O S S A RY
128_jsW_glossary
FOLLOWING are Jewish wedding-
groom’s tish:Yiddish for “table,” where the
minhagim: traditions
related terms used throughout the CJN’s
groom, his groomsmen, and male family
mitzvah, mitzvot: obligation(s) to Jewish
WEDDINGS magazine.
members gather for song and dance before
faith; meaning “to bind” to God; good
aufruf: calling up of the groom to recite
the wedding ceremony
deed(s)
blessings over the Torah on the Shabbat
kallah: bride
nisuin: nuptial portion of wedding service
before the wedding
kashrut: keeping kosher; system of Jewish
shadchan: professional matchmaker
bedeken: placing of veil over bride’s face;
dietary laws
sheva brachot: seven blessings said during
done by groom prior to wedding ceremony
ketubah, ketubot: marriage contract(s)
wedding ceremony and in grace after
beshert: meant to be; intended one;
kiddush: blessing said over wine to
meals; also refers to week of festive meals
destined
sanctify beginning of a Shabbat or holiday
following wedding
bimah: pulpit
kipah, kipot: skullcap(s)
simchah: joyous occasion
chatan: groom
kittel: white ceremonial robe sometimes
taharat hamishpachah: laws of family
chupah, chupot: wedding canopy(ies)
worn by groom during wedding ceremony
purity
erusin: betrothal ceremony, first part of the
machetunim: in-laws
tallit, tallitot: prayer shawl(s)
wedding service
mazel tov: good luck, congratulatory wish
tsedakah: charity
get: Jewish writ of divorce
mezuzah: handwritten scroll on which are
yichud: “union;” brief seclusion of bride
halachah: Jewish law
written two biblical passages; affixed to
and groom immediately after wedding
hora: traditional Jewish folk dance,
doorpost of Jewish home
ceremony
performed in a circle
mikveh: ritual pool used for purposes of purification
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ART Contessa Galleries . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 Pennello Gallery . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 91 AUTO Fred Baker Porsche/Audi
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23
BAKERIES Lax & Mandel Bakery . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 79 Lucy’s Sweet Surrender . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 109 Unger’s Kosher Bakery and Food Shop . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41 BEAUTY Arbonne International . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 109 Beachwood Plastic Surgery . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11 Center for Plastic & Cosmetic Surgery, Gregory M. Fedele, M.D. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 83 Cosmetic Surgery Institute . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .39 Dr. Steven Marsh, DDS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 119 Electrolysis & Permanent Cosmetic Center . . . . . . . . 86 John Roberts Spa . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 99 Misha Salon . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 90 Mumtaz International Salon & Spa . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 121 The Powder Room Boutique . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 99 CANDY Chocolate Emporium . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 61 CATERERS Bonnie Davis Catering . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 86 The Catering Company . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .124 Contempo Cuisine Kosher Catering . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 107 Marsha’s Carry-out & Catering . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .125 COMMUNITY SERVICES Jewish Community Federation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37 DANCE Dick Blake . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 86 Let’s Dance! Cleveland . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35 EVENT PLANNING G.S. Special Events, Ltd. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37 EVENT RENTAL Lasting Impressions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 90 FASHIONS Adina & Company . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 57 American Commodore Tuxedo . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 93 Amy Roth & Co. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 91 Bonnie’s Goubaud . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25 Brides by the Falls . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47 Cathy Randall, LLC . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 87 Cutting Room Fabrics . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 79 D.O. Summers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .124 Fibres Boutique . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .105 Find Me . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37 Fussy Cleaners . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 115 Lisa Moran, Ltd. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 93 London Cleaners . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41 Matina’s . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 55 Peneventures . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 77 Toni . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 91 FITNESS Body Sculpting . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 87 Cleveland Yoga . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 90 Fitness Together . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 59
FLORISTS Flowers by Stazzone . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 109 Miklus Florist . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 82 PF Designs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 86 Plantscaping, Inc. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 107 Something New Florist . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .53 FOOD SPECIALTY Edible Arrangements . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 109 FRAMES Wood Trader . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 107 GIFTS Dillard’s . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .7 Don Drumm Studios & Gallery . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 105 Hedges . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 121 Jacob’s Judaic Book and Gift Center . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 107 Kaman’s Art Shoppes, Inc. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 86 Mulholland & Sachs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 123 Opus Gallery . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 107 Peter Danford Fine Jewelery & Gifts . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41 HOME FURNISHINGS Calvetta Bros. Floor Show . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19 Crystal Illusions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 65 Faralli Kitchen & Bath . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .63 Fashion Floors . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 119 Fish Furniture . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15 Furniture Corp. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 90 Linen Consultants . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 57 Sheraton Furniture . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 90 Surroundings Home Décor . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .27 HOTELS Embassy Suites Beachwood . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .31 Hilton Cleveland East / Beachwood . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .79 Hilton Garden Inn . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .119 Homewood Suites . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 125 InterContinental Hotel & Conference Center . . . . . . . . 4 Marriott Cleveland East . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .82 Renaissance Cleveland Hotel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13 The Ritz-Carlton Cleveland . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8,9 INVITATIONS A.L. Wain Co. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 125 Blum’s Party Goods . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 61 Exclusive Invites . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 107 Hope Fromson . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 91 Invitations by Sally Bram . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 124 Sensational Celebrations . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 123 Sisters of Celebrations. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 79 JEWELERS Alson . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 Berger & Silver Jewelers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 55 Chagrin Fine Jewelry . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .119 IMG Jewelers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .17 Jewelry Art . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35 MANN . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 131 Rinaldi Jewelry . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 87 Robert & Gabriel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21 Shulan’s Jewelers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .82 MIKVEH Charlotte Goldberg Community Mikvah . . . . . . . . . . 113
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MUSIC Champagne Entertainment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .87 Run Avril Run . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41 Special Productions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 55 Yiddishe Cup Klezmer Band . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 125 PHOTOGRAPHERS Clifford Norton Studio . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12 Herbert Ascherman Photographers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31 Kim Ponsky Photography . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .35 LCD Photography & Videography . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 109 Marc Golub Photography . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .117 Myron Photographic Elegance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 New Image Photography . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21 NorthCoast Portraits . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 125 Pollack Studio . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25 PUBLICATIONS Cleveland Jewish News . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .113, 128 REALTORS/APTS./HOUSING Howard Hanna Pepper Pike, Paul Blumberg . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 87 Realty One, Peggy Garr . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 79 Realty One, Adam Kaufman . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 113 Remax/Traditions, Barbara Levine . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 124 RESTAURANTS Antalya Red Square . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 86 Bistro 185 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 82 Dave & Buster’s . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 91 Grovewood Tavern . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .109 Hyde Park . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .117 Maggiano’s . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 63 Melange . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .125 Paladar . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 99 SASA matsu . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 123 SPECIALTY RETAIL Legacy Village . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 TRAVEL Action Travel Center . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 61 VENUES Bertram Inn & Conference Center . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49 B’nai Jeshurun Congregation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 61 Chagrin Valley Athletic Club . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6 Cleveland Botanical Garden . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18 Cleveland Museum of Natural History . . . . . . . . . . . . 87 Executive Caterers at Landerhaven . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . BC Glidden House . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25 Hawthorne Valley Country Club . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33 House of Blues . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 67 Mustard Seed Market & Cafe . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 115 Ohio College of Podiatric Medicine (OCPM) . . . . . . 123 Park Synagogue . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 82 Playhouse Square . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 95 Sammy’s . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 97 Severance Hall/Musical Arts Association . . . . . . . . . . . 105 Stan Hywet Hall & Gardens . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 121 Windows on the River . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 76
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