Fall 2014 - CJ: Voices of Conservative / Masorti Judaism

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Voices of Conservative/Masorti Judaism fall 2014/5774-5775 Volume 7 / No. 4

www.cjvoices.org

p.16 The Best Is Yet To Come

How an Optimistic Mindset Can Transform the Conservative Movement

&

TALMUD IS FUN! // THE broken and the whole // judgment day // On Cremation // the long-short path

Editors Andrea Glick Rhonda Jacobs Kahn Advertising Director Erica Singer art director Elizabeth Hovav book editor Lisa Silverman Publishing Consultant Siegel Marketing Group Editorial Board Renee Brezniak Glazier, Chair Michael Brassloff Michael Freilich Rosalind Judd Faye Laveson Dr. Bruce Littman Rachel Pomerance Elizabeth Pressman Marjorie Shuman Saulson Lois Silverman Advisors Dr. Stephen Garfinkel Jewish Theological Seminary Rabbi Cheryl Peretz Ziegler School of Rabbinic Studies CJ: Voices of Conservative/Masorti Judaism is a joint project of Federation of Jewish Men’s Clubs Myles Simpson, President Rabbi Charles E. Simon, Executive Director United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism Richard Skolnik, President Rabbi Steven C. Wernick, CEO Women’s League for Conservative Judaism Carol S. Simon, President Sarrae G. Crane, Executive Director The opinions expressed in this magazine are those of the authors and do not necessarily represent the views of the publishing organizations. Advertising in CJ does not imply editorial endorsement, nor does the magazine guarantee the kashrut of advertised products.

Members of FJMC, United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism congregations, and Women’s League for Conservative Judaism receive the magazine as a benefit of membership. Subscriptions are $20 per year.

Please direct all correspondence or changes of address to CJ: Voices of Conservative/Masorti Judaism at Rapaport House, 820 Second Ave., 10th Floor, New York, NY 10017-4504. 212.533.7800 Email: aglick@uscj.org or rkahn@wlcj.org. To advertise, email singer@uscj.org.

CJ: Voices of Conservative/Masorti Judaism is published three times a year by United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism, 820 Second Ave., 10th Floor, New York, NY 10017-4504. Canadian Copies: Return Canadian undeliverables to 2835 Kew Dr., Windsor, ON N8T 3B7 PM 41706013.

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in every issue

FALL 2014/5774-5775 Volume 7 / No. 4 www.cjvoices.org

This magazine is a joint project of the United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism, Women’s League for Conservative Judaism and the Federation of Jewish Men’s Clubs.

Editors’ Note 5 Letters 6 CJ Shorts 7 Q&A 10 with Maggie Anton The Last Word Why I Oppose Cremation Rabbi Adam J. Raskin 56

contents 20 features

The Optimistic Movement

16

Changing our mindset can transform Conservative Judaism. BY Rabbi Joshua Rabin

The Broken and the Whole

20

A rabbi describes how his family refused to give up on his son’s potential for a full life despite his severe physical limitations. BY Rabbi charles s. sherman

You Are Not Your Abs

24

A father tells his twin daughters what really matters as they celebrate becoming b’not mitzvah. BY Joel Chasnoff

focus on college The College Tour: Finding the Right Jewish Mix

30

Based on her own experience, a mother explains how choosing a college is also about choosing a community.

BY BETH KISSILEFF

In Their Own Words

31

Students discuss finding their Jewish niche on campus.

BY GABRIELLE GOODMAN, JOSHUA ULL, LIAT DEENER-CHOKIRKER, KATIE HAMELBURG, ARYEH KALENDER, ILAN LAYMAN, DANIELLE LEOPOLD

Building Campus Community

32

The Ramah College Network creates year-round connections. BY marla cohen

Admit One

36

CJ interviews Dr. Joie Jager-Hyman, author of B+ Grades, A+ College Application

The Long-Short Path

38

Nativ is the Conservative movement’s own Israel gap year program, which helps students be truly ready for college. BY yossi garr

on the cover Photo: Larissa Eidlina via Flickr Kippot: www.DesignKippah.com

advertise online!

Call or email Erica Singer, Ad Director singer@uscj.org or 201.766.8471

cjvoices.org Visit us online for extra photo galleries, videos and exclusive bonus features, including: The Broken and the Whole: Watch a news feature from Dateline NBC about Eyal Sherman and his family.

www.cjvoices.org 3

CJ ,ukue

contents FALL 2014/5774-5775 Volume 7 / No. 4

departments

KEHILLA No More “Necessary Evil”

12

A school director decided it was time to make religious school important and meaningful for students and their families.

BY jennifer rudin

A Synagogue Is Not a Building

14

Facing declining membership and an aging building, one congregation created a new kind of home. BY andrea glick

THE JEWISH YEAR Judgment Day 26 A rabbi feels compelled to visit a criminal court to understand the High Holiday liturgy.

BY rabbi deborah wechsler

14

The Koufax Midrash 28 Where was Sandy Koufax when he wasn't playing in the World Series on that famous Yom Kippur? BY rabbi jeremy fine

The Bookshelf

38

By lisa silverman

OUR ORGANIZATIONS Women’s League for Conservative Judaism Meet the New President

42

bY CAROL S. SIMON

Kodesh v’Chol: Balancing the Sacred and the Everyday 44 Women’s League’s Convention 2014 was at a new time and offered a new focus.

Federation of Jewish Men’s Clubs The Future of Conservative Judaism 46

BY MYLES SIMPSON

On a Mission to Provence

48

BY LINDA AND GREG GORE

Laymen Teaching Laymen to Teach Laymen

52 United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism Briefs 50 An Israel Bond 52 Congregations create innovative programs connecting their communities to the Jewish state.

BY DEBORAH FINEBLUM

47

BY DAVE MANDELL CJ Online (www.cjvoices.org) is looking for bloggers! Interested? E-mail aglick@uscj.org and rkahn@wlcj.org

4 CJ – Voices of conservative /masorti judaism Fall 2014

editors’ note

What’s So Silly About Optimism?

W

CJ won a first place award for its Winter 2013 profile of Rabbi Daniel Burg.

Find it online at www.cjvoices.org

hen Rabbi Josh Rabin first pitched his idea for an article about the need for optimism in the Conservative movement, we admit we were slightly dubious. While we have nothing against optimism, it seemed more like a self-help topic for a women’s magazine or a report on the latest social science research.

Then, of course, we read “The Optimistic Movement” (page 16) and realized that Rabbi Rabin was offering not a pep talk, but some serious ideas for a stream of Judaism that lately seems prone to accept all predictions of its own demise. Yes, it’s important to acknowledge challenges. But as Rabbi Rabin demonstrates, focusing only on challenges, to the exclusion of strengths and possibilities, yields just as distorted a picture as looking through the proverbial rose-colored glasses. It also leaves little room for change.

If you need more positivity, check out the College Focus section (page 30). In addition to useful advice on finding the right school from a Jewish perspective, you’ll meet a number of current students – alumni of USY, Ramah, Schechter, and Nativ – who are passionate about Conservative Judaism and actively building Conservative communities on campus.

Of course, according to the Jewish calendar, we are entering a time for serious reflection. Rabbi Deborah Wechsler (page 26) helps put us in the right frame of mind by recounting a visit she took to a local courthouse to better understand the theme of judgment that’s so entwined with the High Holiday season. The notion of divine judgment can be off-putting, but Rabbi Wechsler examines it up close, noticing how, like defendants with a court date, even the most unengaged Jews feel the need to show up on Rosh Hashannah and Yom Kippur.

This new year, may we all eschew cynicism and find ways to think creatively and speak constructively about the inevitable challenges we face in our lives and in our world.

Shannah tovah.

Andrea Glick, Editor

Rhonda Jacobs Kahn, Editor

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Letters A New Judaism in Israel We enjoyed reading the excellent article by Beth Kissileff, “Re-dreaming Jerusalem,” in the Spring 2014 issue.

Earlier this year, we had the opportunity to attend an event at the Hartman Institute in Jerusalem. Rabbi Elad-Appelbaum was on the panel discussing relations between Israeli and Diaspora Jews. The rabbi’s words are still fresh in our minds and hearts.

Along with many others, such as Rabbi Tamar Kolberg of Kehilat Ra’anan, a new Judaism is emerging that is relevant to Israeliborn and Israelis by aliyah. Rabbi Elad-Appelbaum is assuring that Israel with be both an “Ohr to the Goyim” (A light unto the Nations) but also an “Ohr to the Jews.”

Shiffy and Avi Crane Temple Beth El of South Orange County Aliso Viejo, California

KITNIYOT KUDOS I was very pleased to read Rabbi Paul Plotkin on the potential overturning of the ban on kitniyot by the Committee on Jewish Law and Standards (Spring 2014). While the rabbis are debating the whys and wherefores – as is their job – let this layperson point out the strongest argument against maintaining this custom: in the 21st century it makes absolutely no sense.

When I was a kid there was a limited array of “kosher for Passover” products.

Today I can get pasta, cake, breakfast cereal, blintzes, pizza, ice cream, soda, cookies, vodka, and many other items that are perfectly kosher yet are mostly indistinguishable by non-expert shoppers from the real thing... except by taste. Yet the whole rationale for the kitniyot ban is that it “might” lead to confusion by someone unable to distinguish them from forbidden chometz.

If we can be trusted to have “kosher for Passover” products that do everything they can to mimic chometz while staying within the law, we should also be trusted with rice, corn, peas, etc. where there is no longer danger of any confusion.

Daniel M. Kimmel Yonkers, New York

On Intermarriage A consortium of Conservative rabbis – Mark Bloom, Ted Feldman, Gordon Freeman, Stuart Kelman and Mimi Weisel, along with Rabbi Harry Manhoff, Glenn Massarano and myself – wrote A Place in the Tent: Intermarriage and Conservative Judaism. Available from EKS Publishing and via Amazon, the book articulates detailed responses to halachic and other issues regarding interfaith families. The book’s premise is that the Conservative movement must find ways to welcome interfaith families and make them an integral part of the community. Three years of discussion prefaced the book’s publication.

It is an invaluable resource for addressing intermarriage, and moving towards a more whole, just, embracing communal reality.

Rose Levinson, Ph.D. Adjunct Professor Jewish Studies and Social Justice Program Theology and Religious Studies Department University of San Francisco

MIXED BLESSINGS As the chair of the Rabbinical Assembly’s Task Force on Conversion from 2006 to 2010 and the author of Petah Ha-Ohel: A

Rabbinic Guide to Conversion (published by the RA in 2011), I found CJ’s recent discussion of conversion (“Mixed Blessings,” Spring 2014) most welcome, but was disappointed by its omissions, including any reference to the Rabbinical Assembly’s own Statement on Conversion. The alleged requirement of turning a would-be convert away three times finds no expression in Jewish law, and comes instead from a single aggadic source (Ruth Rabbah 2:1).

Not surprisingly, the best practice model advocated by Petah Ha-Ohel states, “literal fulfillment of this instruction is demeaning to those interested in conversion and incompatible with rabbinic integrity.”

Jews-by-Choice are a blessing to the people Israel. Accordingly, the Rabbinical Assembly “invites and warmly encourages those unconnected to any other faith community to consider the possibility of conversion to Judaism.” The Conservative rabbinate understands that Jews-by-Choice are a blessing to our people, regardless of whether they become Jewish to create a single-faith home, are simply spiritual seekers, or some combination of both.

By the same token, however, Petah HaOhel insists that the acquisition of a specific vocabulary and a working knowledge continues on page 8

6 CJ – Voices of conservative /masorti judaism Fall 2014

cj shorts news from israel

NOAM Youth Group Recognized by the Ministry of Education

Noam, the Masorti youth movement, has finally achieved its long overdue recognition by the Israeli Ministry of Education.

The group had to prove it was growing in participation, training counselors and developing new branches. Last year alone, Noam added four new chapters and will now receive government funding, a major step forward.

Jewish Pluralism Watch

JPW, established by the Masorti movement about two years ago, is independent and unaffiliated with any political party. It monitors Knesset Members’ votes and statements on religious pluralism and holds them accountable. A website posts daily updates on voting records and statements. Although originally intended for national politics, the website had an exponential increase in hits during the last mayoral election cycle.

Wigs for Cancer Patients, Thanks to Masorti Teen

Although nothing new in North America, it was unusual when 23 girls and women from a Masorti synagogue in Israel had their hair cut and donated to Zichron Menachem, to be made into wigs for cancer patients. Avishag Faruchi, one of the teen leaders of the congregation, HaMinyan HaMishpachti HaMasorti in Kfar Vradim, organized the effort after hearing about it on Facebook.

Winners of Essay Contest Announced Masorti Youth MERCAZ USA and Women’s League announced the teen winners of the 2014 Movement is Masorti Scholarship Essay Contest. In celebration of the 30th anniversary of the Growing in ordination of women as Conservative rabbis, applicants wrote about Women in Zionism: Past & Present. Scholarships can be used toward any Conservative/ South America

Masorti program in Israel, such as Ramah, USY, or Nativ. First place went to Shari Boiskin (Cherry Hill, NJ), second to Maayan Amiran (Melville, NY), and third to Aliza Sherman (Millburn, NJ). Jackie Brenner (Maitland, FL) came in fourth and Jesse Gorman (Toronto, ON) came in fifth. Winning essays can be read at cjvoices.org

Following the model of the successful two-year young leadership training program in Argentina, Darkei Noam Chile opened its first training program for leaders from the two Noam chapters in Chile.

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Letters “I am convinced that

Comments From CJ Online {more at cjvoices.org}

Conservative/Masorti rabbis perform more conversions around the world than rabbis of other streams.” of Judaism remain an indispensable component of conversion. At some level, integration into Jewish life must not only be the ultimate goal of conversion, but the means by which it is accomplished as well.

The heart and soul of conversion is kabbalat ol mitzvot (the acceptance of the yoke of the commandments). Unlike the rituals of halachic conversion (immersion and, in the case of males, brit milah or its symbolic counterpart), which only require two witnesses, the affirmation of Jewish commitment by the candidate always requires a bet din. This is not to deny the significance of the halachic rituals, but in the absence of palpable commitment, the act of conversion becomes a matter of form without substance. Tradition already offers rabbis considerable flexibility without a need to vitiate the integrity of the process leading.

As Conservative Jews we should be proud of the fact that our movement’s approach to conversion has been so successful. While my evidence is anecdotal only, I am convinced that Conservative/ Masorti rabbis perform more conversions around the world than rabbis of other streams. I am blessed by the many Jewsby-Choice in my congregation, a synagogue in which approximately 10 percent of families include at least one convert.

Each comes with a different story; yet all have found a spiritual home in a community that welcomed them with open arms, while supporting and challenging them to grow into Jewish life both during and beyond the conversion process. Time and again they have told me this stereophonic approach to the soul music of Judaism is precisely what makes our spiritual love song so appealing.

Solidarity With Israel In July, Conservative leaders visited Israel to show solidarity during Operation Protective Edge. At left is Rabbi Julie Schonfeld, executive vice president of The Rabbinical Assembly, and at right, Rabbi Steven Wernick, CEO of the United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism. They are with Lt. Col. Peter Lerner, spokesman for the Israel Defense Forces.

As a convert, I agree with the vast majority of the reforms proposed in this article (Too Long a Wait, Spring 2014) and I love the idea of surveying us about the process and post-conversion resources as the Conservative Movement moves forward with its plans to change things up. Ms. Fryer beautifully articulates many of the joys, fears, hopes, and struggles of choosing Judaism.

Erin Dreyfuss

Conversion is not something to be “pushed.”

It alienates.

My father and my Shoah survivor grandmother, both of blessed memory, respected my husband’s decision/choice not to convert. Why? Because it wasn’t a hollow gesture. If it wasn’t heartfelt and a true calling, they saw it as a mockery of our faith. But my dad was also want to say, “It took you finding a shaygitz to find a mensch.” We celebrated our 25th anniversary last year.

My husband is agnostic at best, and has

Rabbi Jonathan Lubliner Jacksonville Jewish Center Jacksonville, Florida

8 CJ – Voices of conservative /masorti judaism Fall 2014

Find more reader comments and submit your own comments to CJVoices.org Write to us!

Send a letter to our editors at aglick@uscj.org and rkahn@wlcj. org. Or write to: CJ Magazine, 820 Second Ave., 10th Floor, New York, NY 10017-4504

no emotional connection to religion. He wasn’t connected to his birth religion.

To expect him to suddenly want a faith connection was unrealistic; to push conversion would have meant losing a man who loved me and was willing to raise Jewish children.

Our children went to Jewish preschool, Jewish day camp, and synagogue-based school. They were USY members who wouldn’t miss encampment for anything.

Through it all, my husband drove carpool, cleaned for holidays, and supported me and the kids in our Judaism, even though he didn’t believe (and even felt hostile about money issues and the time I spent in synagogue). People at the synagogue asked him how he was, how work was, and treated him like every other dad.

That’s what Conservative synagogues should be doing, normalizing the treatment of interfaith families and nonJewish spouses. Stop worrying about dilution and who may serve on committees, and remember to act with rachmanas.

Far more will be accomplished, and far more families will truly feel the essence of Kehilla.

You can raise Jewish children, who truly identify Jewishly, even if you have a Christmas tree and your kids get Easter baskets. But if synagogue members and leadership treat these practices with negativity instead of acceptance (that families are respecting the non-Jewish part of the family as well as the Jewish part), you accomplish the exact opposite of “keruv.”

Adelle Stavis

cj shorts Free Library of Jewish Texts

master builders

The Sefaria Project is about building the future of Jewish learning in an open and participatory way through a free online library of Jewish texts in Hebrew and in translation. Its scope is Torah in the broadest sense, from Tanakh to Talmud to Zohar to modern texts and all the commentary in between. Sefaria is created, edited and annotated by an open community. For use on computers, tablets and mobile phones, the initiative allows users to explore the connections among Torah texts. It envisions ancient conversations continuing with new participants, new questions, and new layers of dialogue. www.sefaria.org

The Ark Builders

In 1985, five congregants of Temple Israel of Natick, Massachusetts, built an ark, Torah stand, and reader’s desks for the synagogue’s high holiday “tent service.” Later dubbed the “Ark Builders,” the now larger group has continued creating ritual objects and furnishings for the congregation’s chapel, sanctuary, religious school, lobby, and beyond, including a new ark and bimah for the sanctuary and a beautiful chuppah for weddings. The Ark Builders, who describe what they do as “worship through woodworking,” are currently helping build homes for the homeless by renovating vacant Natick Housing Authority family units. This fall, two members of the group will release a book about their work. Order it in midSeptember at www.arkbuilders.com

An Ancient Ordinance for a New Age

PHOTOS: At Temple Israel, talented members built a new ark and bimah (top) as well as a chuppah for weddings.

Israeli Film on Demand If you

don’t have access to Israeli films, or missed the latest festival, the Israel Film Center at The JCC in Manhattan has an online streaming service where you’ll find a huge selection of Israeli and award-winning Jewish films. You can watch one free movie from the site by using the code IFCUNITED at checkout. Go to www.israelfilmcenterstream.org

The Torah commands that in the Land of Israel every seventh year must be a sabbatical, in which the land lies fallow and becomes ownerless. What’s more, all debts must be forgiven. With the next sabbatical, or Shmitah, year beginning this fall, a group of Jewish environmental and social activists is reinterpreting this concept. Rabbi Nina Beth Cardin helped launch The Sova Project to spark a Jewish conversation about environmental and economic sustainability. Shmitah, Rabbi Cardin writes, is a “check on the market economy,” hearkening back to the Garden of Eden and a “vision that the earth and all its bounty are gifts from God that are to be used by us all, but not otherwise possessed, amassed or hoarded by just some of us.” The Sova Project has created materials for a Rosh Hashanah seder, which can be found at sovaproject. org. In addition, Hazon, a non-profit devoted to sustainable communities, offers a Shmitah Sourcebook that can be purchased or downloaded at hazon.org

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q& a

Talmud Is Fun! “Did my interest in Talmud start with wanting to write about it, or did my interest in writing start with Talmud study?” Maggie Anton ponders the question. The answer, she says, is that it all started with the study of Talmud. Anton is the author of two popular series of historical novels based on characters and scenes about the Talmud and Jewish history. Rashi’s Daughters was the first, while the second novel in the Rav Hisda’s Daughter series, Enchantress, will be published in September. Anton’s books have introduced many readers to Talmudic women, as well as to Talmud itself. They’ve had such an impact that her editor, who started out editing romance novels, is now studying for the rabbinate at the Academy for Jewish Religion in Los Angeles! CJ Magazine caught up with Anton recently to discuss what studying Talmud has meant to her, as well as the role Jewish texts can have in the lives of all Jews.

INTERVIEW BY beth kissileff

Best-selling author Maggie Anton thinks more Jews should wade into the sea of Talmud

CJ: Why should Jews, particularly Conservative Jews, study Talmud?

Maggie Anton: In the Talmud, when halachah reflects the position of Rabbi A, Rabbi B’s opinion is still in the text, and we can go back and say Rabbi B said to do it this way. Even the losers are recognized and acknowledged and given some validity. On the Conservative movement’s Committee on Jewish Law and Standards, there are often minority, as well as majority, opinions, and rabbis can follow either.

Conservative Jews try to be true to how it is in the Talmud, and this very much impressed me, this diversity. This is something more Jews should know about.

CJ: What does the Talmud have to do with today’s Judaism? Does a text that is 1,500 years old really still have relevance?

MA: It is clear when you study Torah that we don’t do much of the stuff that is in there. Most of the 613 mitzvot are not performable since we don’t have a Temple.

Talmud is a telescope into the past. But

10 CJ – Voices of conservative /masorti judaism Fall 2014

I will come right out and say it: Talmud is fun! It is designed for people to argue over and discuss, it’s very intellectually stimulating, very exciting. Beyond that, when I am studying Talmud, for me that is my path to the Shechinah (the feminine manifestation of God).

CJ: What is the place of Jewish texts in the life of a liberal or secular Jew? MA: We are the people of the book. The Talmud is one of those books that we are the people of. For baby boomers who need intellectual stimulation, following Talmudic reasoning, arguing with people in the class, is wonderful. It is easy to understand how you can spend the whole two hour class talking about two paragraphs. It gets your brain cells going in a way nothing else does. If you are in the right class with the right teacher and other students, it can be very exciting and challenging. The difficulty with Talmud is that you can’t do it by yourself. You have to study with another person, have different views, see different things.

“

“

CJ: Where do you recommend people go to get started learning?

MA: We have good English translations now. Twenty-five years ago, you had to know Hebrew or Aramaic and that was a huge barrier. We don’t have that barrier any more. It is online. The Conservative movement offers in-depth daily Talmud study, called Daf Shevui.

(Go to www.conservativeyeshiva.org/ category/daf-shevui.)

Twenty-five years ago, you had to know Hebrew or Aramaic and that was a huge barrier. We don’t have that barrier any more.

CJ: Why do you write?

MA: I can’t say I wrote Rashi’s Daughters with the sole purpose of getting more Jews to study Talmud, but to try to intrigue them into studying.

CJ: I’m curious, what do Talmud scholars and professors think of your books?

MA: They like them. Honestly, the Association of Jewish Studies met and I went.

All the leading modern scholars were there and they all knew who I was. The Orthodox ones said their wives loved my books. Every single one emailed me, sent PDFs of articles. Who else but a Talmud scholar would recognize the research and appreciate it?

CJ: How is it to write about Talmud as a woman?

MA: I see the Talmud itself as historical fiction. One of the first things I had to do to write about Rav Hisda’s daughter, was to figure out who everyone was, when did they live, when did they die. Some of the dates in the Talmud are impossible; Rav Hisda’s wife would have been 70 when her children were born, another woman was pregnant for 18 months.

Women’s voices are not there in history, but historical novelists can help us to see history from women’s eyes. We are not a minority. Who is to say how fictitious any history is? CJ

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kehilla

No More “Necessary Evil”

After years of watching parents and students make Hebrew school secondary to other activities, a religious school director decided it was time for change.

By Jennifer Rudin

F

or generations, enrolling a child in religious school went something like this. Parents would call the synagogue office and say, “My child is going to kindergarten in the fall.

When do kindergarteners come to religious school?” The helpful synagogue staff would recite the days and times and before you knew it, the child was enrolled and ready to go. More often than not the entire process happened without any interaction with the education staff, because what more was there to say? That kindergarteners came to religious school at a particular time, on a particular day was the first inevitable step on a child’s journey to bar or bat mitzvah.

Over the past 24 years, as an educator at numerous Conservative synagogues in the greater Boston area, I watched this process play out time and again, always curious about why parents who often spent hours researching dance and music classes, sports teams, and other extracurricular activities, were so content to make one call to their local congregational school. I wondered what made the religious school decision so different from Jennifer Rudin is Director of Education at Temple Aliyah in Needham, Massachusetts.

other decisions. Were families so confident in the excellence of our religious school that they were willing to sign up sight unseen? Or was religious school a necessary evil through which one had to pass on the way to bar or bat mitzvah?

Once a child entered the school I noticed another pattern. Parents of second graders would register their child even if the child had a regular violin lesson at the same time. More often than not, parents would simply pick their child up early or not send their child to school at all. I wondered, are parents doing so many Jewish things at home that they feel confident in their ability to fill in anything that was missed? Or is the religious school experience so secondary to what is happening in a child’s life that parents simply don’t give it a second thought?

I realized that there were many questions we should be asking to understand what was unfolding in our religious school: why didn’t we actively invite parents to ask about what went on during their child’s time with us? What were the parents’ goals for their children’s Jewish education?

A

12 CJ – Voices of conservative /masorti judaism Fall 2014

nd so began our journey at Temple Aliyah, in Needham Massachusetts, to what eventually

became Mercaz Aliyah – mercaz is Hebrew for “center.” It’s a different approach to religious school that has succeeded far beyond our expectations.

We began three years ago by dreaming about what a religious education at Temple Aliyah could be. We made lists of the 100 things we would most like students to know and experience during the eight years they spent in our school.

We looked at our existing curriculum and reorganized it into five categories: Hebrew/Siddur, History, Tanakh, Israel, and Jewish Living. We created a core curriculum that would achieve our learning goals and organized the curriculum into 22 distinct courses.

At the same time, we began asking questions and listening carefully to the answers. We questioned many of our constituencies, but most importantly, our parents and students. What made students attend or not attend classes regularly? What would make our education more compelling, more convenient and more relevant? What did parents think their children were learning and what did they wish their children were learning? We listened to each answer and analyzed what we were hearing. When we were finished, we had learned some important things:

We asked parents about their goals for their chidlren's Jewish education

•

•

• Families are looking for convenience.

They want all of their children attending classes on the same days and at the same time.

•

days and times and can be taken over a three-year span. We added optional elective courses that expand curricular learning in Conversational Hebrew, Haftarah Trope and Service Leadership Skills.

We established extracurricular courses in art and music, as well as the Kehillah Zone, a homework help and social center where students can go before, between, or after classes.

We offered bus service from the local public schools and hired a monitor to build community on wheels.

We began each day with Community Time where students gather for a snack, play games or discuss the core values of our community.

We expanded our Musical Minchah

to include all students, creating fertile ground for them to cultivate their own prayer community. We also created a system for pairing students in various configurations for tefillah.

• Finally, we created curriculum guides for each course, with demonstrable and measurable learning goals.

I

n September 2013, after three years of planning, Mercaz Aliyah opened its doors to 107 students. The result? Students attended classes regularly. Parents took an active interest in their children’s learning. All three of our Conversational Hebrew electives were filled to capacity. New friendships blossomed among students, teachers, and clergy. And most important, our halls were filled with continues on page 54

Transportation is a roadblock to attendance. Parents want a bus to pick their children up at school and bring them to the synagogue.

Children and their parents are busy.

Flexibility in scheduling was a consistent request.

Choice is important. Parents and children are happy to participate in the core curriculum but would appreciate opportunities to pursue Jewish learning outside of that core, even if it means devoting more hours to religious school and paying additional fees.

Community is key. Our families were hungry for opportunities to socialize and to widen their connections.

With dreams and information in hand we developed a program to meet both our educational goals and our community’s needs.

• We classified each of our core courses as either Core Fixed, required and offered on Sunday mornings – or Core Flex, offered twice a week on different

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kehilla

An Akron congregation faced a stark choice: pour its limited money into an aging, oversized building or try to create a new kind of congregational home.

PHOTO: Beth El in Akron, Ohio, built a new chapel as part of its move to the JCC.

A Synagogue Is Not a Building

By Andrea Glick

I

t could be such a sad story: a once thriving synagogue, forced to sell its building due to declining membership and a lack of funds. But that’s not how the folks at Beth El Congregation of Akron, Ohio, see it. For them, selling their 60-year-old building and moving to a new addition at the local Jewish Community Center has been the the start of an energizing chapter in the congregation’s life.

It’s also a story that Beth El leaders think could serve as a model for other synagogues facing demographic changes beyond their control.

“The process was very unifying and uplifting,” says Andrea Steinberger, Beth El’s immediate past president. “People were proud of making a responsible choice that didn’t deplete all the resources of the community for bricks and mortar.” Moreover, congregants love the smaller but beautiful new space, which has just the right balance of cherished objects from their old building and creative, forwardlooking design.

In the summer of 2013, Beth El officially dedicated its new facility at Akron’s Shaw JCC. But discussions about the congregation’s future had started about three years earlier. Akron, like other Rust Belt communities, has faced a shrinking Jewish population, decreasing from a high of nearly 8,000 earlier in the 20th century to about 2,500 today. Without enough younger families to replenish its ranks, Beth El was using just a fraction of its sprawling mid-century building. In addition, the facility was in need of significant and costly repairs.

After a year of town hall meetings, focus groups and research, the congregation voted overwhelmingly to accept the JCC’s offer of sharing space. Amazingly, a buyer for the building, a local charter school, materialized almost immediately.

Now came the hard part – managing the move from a large, traditional synagogue filled with poignant memories and beloved ritual objects into a smaller, unformed space that was part of a larger institution.

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How could the congregation take advantage of its new milieu and still maintain its distinctive identity?

The answer: bring some iconic objects and decorations to the new location, while allowing a synagogue member and artist to recycle other cherished items into objects designed expressly for the new location.

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eth El’s new home includes the 120-seat Victor and Lillian Gross Family Chapel, which incorporates some of the stained glass windows from the former building, refurbished and resized to fit the new space. The focal point of the chapel, designed by synagogue member and artist Bonnie Cohen, is a tall “Pillar of Light” ark, with a mosaic façade featuring luminescent tiles of recycled glass and tiny shards from the previous building’s unused stained glass windows.

The chapel is connected to the JCC by an airy lobby that gives the synagogue its own separate entrance. The entryway features a striking “Wall of Blessings,” also

Before, it was lights out 90 percent at the time.

Here you get a sense of life bursting at the seams.

lights out 90 percent of the time. Here you get a sense of life bursting at the seams.”

That energy has rubbed off on the synagogue, with its community room busy just about every day and a chapel that on Shabbat feels intimate and warm rather than vast and empty. “The pride and the sense of ownership have been electrifying for the congregation,” Steinberger says.

How did Beth El navigate a change that in some congregations leads to bitter divisions? Mostly, says Steinberger, by the board being transparent about what it was doing and involving congregants in the process. Also, by reiterating a crucial message. Simply put, says Steinberg, “A synagogue is not a building.”CJ

designed by Cohen, that includes colorful bands representing the days of creation. It also lists the names of donors to a capital campaign which, added to money from the building sale, paid for Beth El’s new space.

For synagogue programs, Beth El converted a JCC conference room into its Mercaz, or center, a multi-purpose space for meetings, classes and kiddush luncheons.

For the High Holidays, b’nai mitzvah, or other times the congregation needs more space, the synagogue reconstructed its old bimah in the JCC auditorium. Beth El also brought along some of the most cherished objects in any synagogue – the bronze memorial plaques commemorating members and relatives who have died.

For Beth El, the tangible benefits of the move are clear: the synagogue, which pays rent to the JCC, has significantly reduced its expenses for overhead and maintenance. It no longer needs its own maintenance staff, for instance, and it uses the JCC’s kosher kitchen.

But the real advantages are less tangible. One, says Steinberger, is having the synagogue entrance situated literally at the front of the bustling JCC campus, which runs programs for all ages and houses a preschool, a day school, a pool and fitness center, as well as the local Jewish Community Board and Jewish Family Services. In the old building, Steinberger says, “it was

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PHOTOS BY: Larissa Eidlina via Flickr

Changing Our Mindset Can Transform Conservative Judaism

I The optimistic movement

By Rabbi Joshua Rabin

16 CJ – Voices of conservative /masorti judaism Fall 2014

am a born-and-bred Conservative Jew, raised in a suburban congregation, active in USY, president of my Conservative minyan in college, graduate of the Jewish Theological Seminary, and now a rabbi in a Solomon Schechter day school. Since I was elected as a USY international officer almost 13 years ago, I had innumerable opportunities to say l’hitraot (good bye) to the Conservative movement. At times, the option was almost too easy: my Orthodox friends criticized our approach to halachah, too many of my friends expressed open disdain for the movement’s inability to translate theory into practice, and I read article after article in the Jewish press about what went wrong with a brand of Judaism that to me always felt so right.

Yet here I am today, still believing that the Conservative movement’s best chapters have yet to be written. I refuse to believe that a movement with some of the most vibrant synagogues, rabbis, hazzanim, and educators in the Jewish world, that produced some of the most impor-

tant Jewish scholarship in modern history, and developed the best youth movement, camping movement, and day school system in North America, is incapable of inspiring Jews in the 21st century. The Conservative movement will survive and thrive because a Judaism that embraces a progressive understanding of halachah, egalitarianism and a worldview grounded in intellectual honesty is exactly the kind of Judaism that we need to engage the Jewish community of today.

You are free to call me a Pollyanna; I prefer to call myself an optimist, and I believe that our movement-wide pessimism keeps us from addressing the big, scary challenges before us.

Yes, we face demographic, institutional, and financial challenges, and oftentimes disagree with one another about core halachic and religious questions. Any number of factors will determine whether or not we overcome these challenges, but if we do not believe we can find a way to overcome them, we might as well not even try.

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year ago, in a post I wrote on the USCJ Centennial blog entitled “Where Are Our Cheerleaders?,” I argued that movement-wide pessimism is one of the greatest obstacles to revitalizing Conservative Judaism. While the reviews were mostly positive, a fair criticism was made that no one should confuse a positive attitude with a concrete strategy.

Here I would like to explore how optimism can provide the beginnings of a strategy to retool and reshape the Conservative movement.

Optimism and Explanatory Style Martin Seligman, a professor of psychology at the University of Pennsylvania and one of the leaders of the positive psychology movement, argues that the difference between optimists and pessimists is rooted in how people explain their successes and failures, what Seligman calls one’s “explanatory style.” He writes: How do you think about the causes of the misfortunes, small and large, that befall you? Some people, the ones who give up easily, habitually say of their misfortunes: “It’s me, it’s going to last forever, it’s going to undermine everything I do.” Others, those who resist giving in to misfortune, say: “It was just circumstances, it’s going away quickly anyway and, besides, there’s much more in life.”

According to Seligman, the hardship is the same for the optimist as for the pessimist, yet one’s explanation determines whether or not a person will overcome the misfortune. In addition, Seligman argues that optimists explain good events in terms of “permanent causes,” such as traits or abilities, while pessimists explain good events as a result of “transient causes,” preferring to say that they were lucky rather than smart, momentarily fortunate rather than hardworking. In each case, the same event can look very different when seen through the eyes of either the optimist or the pessimist.

I refuse to believe that a movement with some of the most vibrant synagogues, rabbis, hazzanim, and educators in the Jewish world is incapable of inspiring Jews in the 21st century.

How does this relate to the Conservative movement?

Over the past year, particularly after the Pew Forum’s Portrait of Jewish Americans, a plethora of articles analyzed why the Conservative movement’s affiliation rates declined so precipitously over the past several decades. Based on my admittedly unscientific analysis, two primary narratives emerged: Narrative 1: The Conservative movement continues to shrink because it is a flawed enterprise. Even when it was the largest Jewish denomination in North America, the movement failed to develop a coherent religious message, build communities committed to traditional Jewish practice, or create institutions capable of executing whatever strategies were needed. Once the Jewish community woke up to the fact that Conservative Judaism was yesterday’s news, the movement began its inevitable and inexorable decline.

Narrative 2: The Conservative movement continues to shrink because its institutions are struggling to reshape themselves in a rapidly changing religious landscape. With the overall decline of Main Line Protestant denominations, the decreasing appeal of membership in communal institutions generally, and the emergence of disruptive innovators such as Chabad and independent minyanim, institutions founded in a different religious and social context are struggling to adapt. The central question is whether, and how, the Conservative movement will meet these adaptive challenges in a rapidly changing religious landscape.

Two different narratives, each of which offers a decidedly different perspective on the same demographic reality. Narrative 1 assumes that our challenges were predictable at best, deserved at worst. In contrast, Narrative 2 does not deny that we are facing struggles, but argues that understanding the struggles in context provides a pathway to meet the adaptive challenges of the present. The former narrative is the explanatory style of the pessimist, the latter, that of the optimist. I will choose the latter over the former any day of the week, and I’m guessing most readers of this article will do the same. The challenges we face are real, but how we interpret them, and whether we believe we can overcome them, is up to us alone.

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Change Our Mindset, Change Our Movement I’d like to suggest five ways that we can become the optimistic movement. In each case, challenges can be seen as irreparable – or fixable. We will not change our reality unless we believe that the reality can be changed, and at a time of widespread pessimism and even fatalism in the Jewish community at-large, our future rests on our willingness to develop solutions based on a collective belief that we can make our future better.

Stop Scapegoating: We’re All in This Together The growth and decline of any religious movement depends on many interrelated and complex factors; no one factor can be identified as “the” source of decline. At various times and by various people, the Conservative movement has been accused of being too indifferent to halachic observance, too conservative, too liberal, too organizationally deficient, too risk-averse, and on and on. We spent the last decade publicly scapegoating whichever person or institution we thought was the cause of our decline. Yet can we honestly say that we are any better off? The more we show that we are ready to let the past be in the past, the more we will show that we are ready to formulate productive solutions to address the challenges of today.

Learn from Disruptive Innovators Right now, institutions such as Chabad, Hebrew charter schools and independent minyanim pose challenges to our core institutions. The pessimist looks at Chabad or an independent minyan and complains that these institutions are “stealing” our families. However, an optimist looks at these innovators and sees opportunities to similarly adapt our own institutions to better engage today’s Jewish population. Among other things, Chabad provides an example of rethinking how we engage with the unengaged, while independent minyamim challenge us to think about how we structure tefillah (prayer) experiences.

In each case, we can either bemoan the existence of institutions that disrupt our standard operating procedure, or we can engage in what Clayton Christensen, of Harvard Business School, calls “discovery-driven planning” to meet the challenge of disruption, empowering individuals to experiment with models with the potential to radically transform how we create Jewish community.

Bet the House on Immersive Jewish Education Jonathan Sarna, the eminent historian of American Jewry, remarked that Orthodox Judaism recovered from its mid-20th century malaise because it “bet the house” on educating rankand-file Jews in day schools, gap year Israel programs, and on

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college campuses. Right now, we know that USY, the Schechter day schools, and Camp Ramah produce our most committed Conservative Jews, yet there is an enormous gap between what we could be doing and what we are doing. If we know that Jewish education pays enormous dividends, then we need to lower the barriers to participation. I propose creating a Bnai Mitzvah Birthright, a fund through which any child who becomes a bar or bat mitzvah in a Conservative synagogue has the opportunity to participate in a one-month program with USY or Camp Ramah, or receive a tuition voucher to attend a local Schechter day school. Making this investment sends a movement-wide message that if your child becomes involved in our educational institutions, their Jewish identity will be forever changed, a profound statement about the lifelong impact of Conservative Judaism.

Don’t Leave Young and Emerging Adults Behind In spite of the fact that emerging adulthood is critical in the formation of social networks, value systems and spiritual communities, Robert Wuthnow writes in After the Baby Boomers, religious institutions “provide almost nothing for the developmental tasks that are accomplished when people are in their twenties and thirties.” While the Conservative movement is not alone in providing too few resources to engage this age group, we can either argue that their lack of participation is due to a lack of commitment to the community, or a lack of resources being devoted to helping them find a home in the Conservative movement. If we allow Chabad, independent minyanim, and alternative spiritual communities to fill the spiritual niche people in their 20s and 30s crave, we have no one to blame but ourselves if they never return to us. In contrast, devoting sizable resources to doing outreach to college and post-college Jews sends a clear signal that the Conservative movement wants to bet the future on the next generation, and is willing to empower them to lead us into unknown terrain.

Be OK with 360-Degree Feedback In a New York Times profile of departing Ford Motor Company CEO Alan Mullaly, it was reported that when Mullaly was introduced to his first audience of Ford employees, he was asked what kind of car he drove. His response: “A Lexus. It’s the finest car in the world.” (Lexus is manufactured by Toyota.) Mullaly’s willingness to share his unvarnished opinion about the quality of Ford’s products at that time is one of the reasons he is credited with Ford’s dramatic turnaround. Today, we know that plenty of people are willing to share their misgivings about Conservative

The optimist does not shy away from criticism Judaism, including interfaith families, the unaffiliated, young adults, formerly identified Conservative Jews, and others. The only way to address a challenge is to listen to our customers, because the optimist does not shy from criticism, but knows that feedback is the first critical step in a long process of improvement and growth.

See the World for the First Time Each Rosh Hashanah, I find myself most inspired by the words of Hayom Harat Olam, the passage from the Musaf Amidah where we are told that “Today is the birthday of the world.” Rabbi Yitz Greenberg writes that the message of Hayom Harat Olam is that “you are not fixed by your past,” for on this day each of us can feel a newness that only comes when you believe that possibility exists.

I believe that the best days of the Conservative movement are yet to come if, and only if, we are willing to visualize a world where we meet the challenges we face and then go out and do something about it. This Rosh Hashanah, let’s collectively turn a corner, and envision a world that is better than we could ever imagine, and then go out and fix it.

Shanah tovah umetukah. CJ

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Eyal Sherman suffered a devastating illness as a toddler.

After a shattering blow, a rabbi finds a new way of understanding the term “quality of life.”

TheBroken and theWhole

By Rabbi Charles S. Sherman

20 CJ – Voices of conservative /masorti judaism Fall 2014

F or Rabbi Charles Sherman, everything changed one night in March 1986, Mrs. Kravitz held a clipboard bearing when he and his wife, Leah, heard their preschooler, Eyal, cry out from his bed. Sher- Eyal’s name and relevant information. man went to soothe him, but it was clear something was terribly wrong. It turned out Over her other shoulder hung a large Eyal had a lesion intertwined with his brain stem. The doctors gave him at most a year canvas bag full of textbooks, workbooks, to live. After a risky operation to remove the lesion, Eyal suffered a brain-stem stroke arts and crafts materials, administrative and slipped into a vegetative coma. Though he eventually woke up with his intellect paperwork, and her lunch. Leah gazed and personality intact, for the rest of his life, Eyal would be unable to walk, talk, feed sadly at the canvas bag, the markers and himself, or breathe on his own. crayons. Eyal had always loved to draw.

In his recently published book, The Broken and the Whole: Discovering Joy After “Eyal is in a coma,” I told Mrs. Kravitz.

Heartbreak, Sherman describes how he and his wife refused to give up on Eyal’s poten- “I know that,” she said kindly as she contial to live a full life and how Eyal has thrived despite his physical limitations. Sher- tinued over to Eyal’s bed. She pulled up man also recounts how profoundly the experience changed him, from an ambitious a chair close to his head, took out a large professional who could be “self-centered and arrogant” into someone “more accept- storybook with lots of pictures, and introing, tolerant, generous, and forgiving.” Above all, Sherman believes his family’s expe- duced herself. “Hi, Eyal, I’m Mrs. Kravitz, rience is instructive for all of us who suffer difficult, life-altering circumstances and your teacher. Let’s get started.” struggle to live fulfilling, contented lives even after tragedy, sorrow, heartbreak, or loss. n the ensuing days, Mrs. Kravitz came every morning at ten and n September 1986, when Eyal had difficult jobs day after day. Still, it hurt. stayed for an hour. She was incredibly been in his vegetative coma for a Leah and I instinctively countered by focused. Nothing deterred her. If an alarm couple of months, we passed the time becoming fierce advocates for Eyal. We went off signaling that Eyal’s feeding tube and encouraged his recovery by talking would remind the staff that even with had occluded, she knew how to silence it to him incessantly about everything: Big all his machines, Eyal was still a real kid. and reengage the feeding. She continued I will admit, the constant effort wore teaching even when the nurse entered to Kenny (his buddy from nursery school), his favorite foods (Nanny’s chicken soup on us. I felt a powerful urge to escape the take Eyal’s vitals, turn him side to side to and spaghetti and meatballs), sports, hospital and feel the sun on my face, even minimize skin breakdowns, or suction the weather. We sang his favorite song, for just a few moments. I took frequent out his breathing tube.

One day, perhaps a week or two after the Smurfs theme song. We held photo- breaks, calling home five or six times a graphs of his sisters and brother in front day to talk to my parents and see how our she had begun lessons, Mrs. Kravitz of his face. We got into bed with him and other kids were doing. I felt overwhelmed pulled from her canvas bag a timeworn rubbed his back. But still he remained and powerless.

Indian drum. After providing Eyal a brief unresponsive, save the occasional involexplanation, she demonstrated how to untary tremor and an awful grinding of here was nothing to do but use the drum, hitting it with the palm of his molars. push on day after day, attending to her hand over and over again, for several Most of the medical staff who interour son and hoping he would wake minutes, in close proximity to Eyal’s ear. acted with Eyal treated him at times in an up. One day, a woman whom I had not Several nurses peeked in to see what the impersonal way. They read the machines seen before entered the PICU. She was in noise was all about. I watched this interand paid attention to the numbers, some- her midfifties but seemed older. She was change with admiration. A lot of folks had times forgetting that there was a little boy very proper, wearing a blue cardigan, a been ready to give up on Eyal, but not lying there. To plaid skirt, and sensible black flat shoes. Mrs. Kravitz. She could have just as easily This article is adapted them, Eyal was “Good morning,” she said to Leah and me clocked in, sat there, and read the New from The Broken and the stroke kid in upon entering Eyal’s cubicle. “I’m Mrs. York Times. Instead, she demonstrated the Whole: Discovering the vegetative Kravitz. I’m from the New York City school fierce determination, loyalty, creativity, Joy after Heartbreak coma in room 11. system. I’m the teacher assigned to NYU and passion – a respect for each person,

by Rabbi Charles S. W e u n d e r - pediatric patients. School begins today.” regardless of circumstance or condition.

Sherman. Copyright stood: the staff Evidently the New York Board of Educa- She taught me a simple but powerful 2014 © Charles S. needed to detach tion was required to provide instruction lesson: that each one of us, irrespective of Sherman. Reprinted emotionally so to youngsters in a hospital environment, where we are in life, who we are, and what with permission of as to do their irrespective of the child’s physical condi- we are capable of, deserves validation Scribner, a Division of work and sur- tion and intellectual capacity. This was and attention. We deserve to be treated Simon & Schuster, Inc. vive in their very not optional; it was a legislative mandate. like human beings – people who count.

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Eyal with his siblings and parents at his graduation.

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efore Eyal got sick, I had visited lots of sick people, some unresponsive or in a condition similar to Eyal’s, and I had always felt uncomfortable. I engaged members of the family who were keeping vigil, but I never spoke directly to the person lying in the bed, convinced that it was an exercise in futility. I had accepted our society’s notion that in the absence of a “quality of life,” there is no life. I never pondered the basic question, Who gets to define “quality of life”? During my visits to the sick, I was in effect making a judgment call, pronouncing the person already gone.

But after Eyal got sick, I realized the gravity of my error. Who are we to determine that a person lying in a hospital bed doesn’t hear a melody or feel a loving touch? Who are we to say that such a person is not comforted by the presence of family and friends or the words of a familiar prayer? I have seen many people interact with Eyal over the years, and I have learned that it is never an exercise in futility to talk with, sing to, pray with, or physically touch a person who is sick or compromised. Today when I visit someone in the hospital, I approach the bedside almost immediately and engage that person in conversation. It doesn’t matter

We had to push for Eyal to receive respectful treatment if someone says, “Oh, she doesn’t even know you’re here.” I will not be deterred.

I sing and chant familiar prayers that even the most marginal Jew would remember from childhood. I talk to the person.

I share with them common memories. I tell a little story. I let them know they are not alone.

Initially, we schooled Eyal at home, bringing in a teacher for an hour a day.

Leah, who had trained as a teacher, read to Eyal, taught him math, and enlarged the newspaper so he could start reading part of it. In the late 1980s, we started sending Eyal to the local elementary school. At that time, society was in the early phases of changing the way it handled kids with physical and developmental challenges, taking them out of institutions and integrating them with

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other children. Our local school had been mainstreaming children with autism, and administrators were willing to consider taking Eyal. After many meetings, we came up with a plan. Eyal would go to the local elementary school for a few hours each day accompanied by his nurse and Leah, who could facilitate communication. The school district would provide an aide, and a teacher would continue to make at-home visits to supplement Eyal’s education. The district would also take steps like instructing the other kids about who Eyal was and why he was there and providing a private room where Eyal could go to be suctioned and have his bags of waste disposed of.

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rom the beginning, Eyal loved school, soaking up knowledge and developing into an inquisitive, insightful, funny, and respectful child. The school environment became his community, his social network, just about everything. And yet, our experience wasn’t entirely positive. We had to push hard for Eyal to receive respectful treatment from people who for one reason or another couldn’t see him as a unique individual, a kid deserving of respect like any other. In junior high school,

the gym teacher wanted Eyal to stay off to the side during floor hockey games, concerned that he’d be injured. Leah would have none of that. She purchased a hockey stick for him, and the next day he sat in his chair, the stick attached, and moved up and down the gym floor, playing with the nurse. He wasn’t part of the normal gym class, but at least he was included in some way. His personhood was recognized.

Perhaps because we fought so hard, Eyal has come to believe in himself, stay active, and develop a strong sense of individuality, leading others to notice that individuality, too. In middle school, a hall monitor whom he passed every day going into school saw him in the school chorus singing away (he would mouth the words, although no sound could come out). The next day she said, “Eyal, I didn’t know you could sing.” In his college Hebrew class, the teacher went around the room asking the students in Hebrew where they lived.

Eyal answered, “Rehov Sumsum” (Sesame Street), surprising everyone with his sense of humor. Most people don’t realize that Eyal knows what is happening in the world; in fact, he keeps up with current events and world news, knows a lot about sports, and even follows celebrities, thanks to his sister Orah, who reads Us Weekly and People magazine with him.

else. It demonstrated every bit as much courage, determination, and strength.

We are all individuals pursuing our own struggles as human beings, and we all need to be allowed and encouraged to become everything we were put on this planet to be. CJ

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ver the years, having witnessed Eyal’s growth firsthand, I have become an outspoken advocate for people with special needs. My chief task, I realize, is helping to broaden others’ understanding of personhood.

I remember a local city councilor who argued outrageously that we shouldn’t spend money educating kids like Eyal, since they would never be productive members of society. At a public meeting, I pointed out that I’ve watched my son do things no one else could. It may have taken him a year and a half to move his thumb two centimeters, but that was just as important an accomplishment to him as achieving a PhD in nuclear physics may have been to someone

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You Are Not Your Abs A father tells his bat mitzvah girls what really matters.

by Joel Chasnoff

Last Memorial Day Weekend, my twin girls, Stav and Noam, became b’not mitzvah. After the service, I addressed them from the bimah. Many in attendance were deeply moved by what I said, some to tears. I didn’t intend this; I simply spoke from the heart about what I feel are the biggest challenges facing teens, especially young women, today. Here is the central message from my charge.

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nd now, Stav and Noam, some fatherly advice: You probably feel relieved – not just that the ceremony is behind you, but that the annoying questions will stop.

“Are you excited for your bat mitzvah?”

“When’s your bat mitzvah?”

“Are you ready for your bat mitzvah?”

Finally, no more questions! But the truth is, the questions are just beginning. Soon, it will be, “Where are you going to high school?” Then, “Did you take the SATs?” Then, “Where are you going to college?” and “What are you majoring in?” “What’re you doing after you graduate?” “Do you rent or own?”

Sometimes the people asking these questions aren’t people at all, but magazine covers. Television shows. Websites.

Asking about your calves, and your abs, and what kind of haircut you have and the shoes you wear.

You will hear these questions so often that if you’re not careful, you might think the answers to these questions matter. Or Joel Chasnoff is a stand-up comedian and author of The 188th Crybaby Brigade, about his service in the IDF. His family are members of the Pelham Jewish Center, Pelham Manor, NY. Visit Joel at www.joelchasnoff.com.

worse – that the answers to these questions are who you are.

But I want to tell you right now: this is not who you are. Do you hear me?

You are not those things! You are not your SAT scores. You are not your abs, or your haircut, or your shoes. You are not your house or your car or your salary or even your job. You are not those things!

So, then…who are you? I know who you are. You know who you are. You, Stav and Noam, are the girls who take forever to walk through Jerusalem – or any other city, for that matter – because you insist on giving money to every single homeless person asking for help.

I know who you are. You are the girls who got up on stage with a classmate so he wouldn’t have to sing alone in the talent show. You’re the girls who took in a stray cat in Israel, and fed him, and named him, even when everyone else, myself included, told you it was ridiculous, because Israel is full of strays…but you did it anyway, because you knew that if you didn’t no one else would. And you are the girls who helped young children – five, six, seven years old – pick out gifts at the Christmas store when we volunteered at Part of the Solution, the soup kitchen in the Bronx. They were poor, and they looked afraid, but you took their hands

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and led them through the store, and when you did that I have no doubt they felt special and loved.

That is who you are. And best of all, Stav and Noam, is that you can be those people no matter what. You can quit your jobs, you can drop out of college or decide not to go to college, you can have whatever haircut you want and wear whatever shoes you want to wear, and you will still be the people who help those needing help and take care of the ones who need taking care of.

One final thought: At a bat mitzvah we talk a lot about responsibility. But how does it happen?

Is it overnight? Am I supposed to believe that my daughters will go through this bat mitzvah ceremony and magically become responsible?

And then it hit me: this responsibility of which we speak only partly depends on you. The rest depends on us. Me. Mom. Your teachers. This is a coming of age ceremony for us, too. Because in order for you to become responsible, we must hold you to a higher standard. In the Talmud it says that a father is obligated to teach his child to swim. I think the Talmud means it literally, but also metaphorically, in the ocean of life. And we can’t truly teach you to swim unless we demand more responsibility from you.

So now that you are b’not mitzvah, the time has come to take off the floaties.

Toss aside the noodles. And move from the shallow end of the pool to the deep.

Mom and I will be with you, next to the water, always.

But now begins the time when you learn to swim. CJ

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the jewish year

Judgment Day What I learned about the High Holidays by spending time in criminal court.

By Rabbi Deborah Wechsler

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eople prepare for the High Holidays in many different ways.

Some check their closets to make sure they have something to wear.

Some put in their brisket orders with the butcher. Some read books to inspire reflection.

spoke to a young state trooper who gave us some insights into how people feel when they are called to court. We even had a few valuable moments with the judge, who shared her thoughts on the nature of strict justice versus merciful justice and how we might all be judges of a sort.

I spent the afternoon in criminal court.

Why? In a discussion about the holidays with a rabbinic colleague, we found ourselves lingering on the image of the synagogue as a courtroom. The predominant metaphor of the High Holidays is of God as judge, sitting in the heavenly court and taking the measure of each of us according to our actions. If the metaphor takes hold as it should, then over the course of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur the synagogue is essentially transformed into a court of law. As we talked, my colleague said, “How can we possibly understand this concept if we don’t actually go to court!”

So off we went to spend the afternoon at the criminal Debi Wechsler is court in Towson, a rabbi at Chizuk Maryland, thanks Amuno Congreto a gracious friend gation in Baltiwho works in the more, Maryland.

State’s Attorney’s She blogs at www. office. In the course chizukamuno.org. of the afternoon we

Here are 10 things that my day in court taught me about the High Holidays:

1

We come before God alone. The first sign you encounter when you reach the court building is one that says to leave your cell phone outside. It is not even allowed into the building. This is a powerful statement that what is about to happen concerns us and us alone.

There is no one for us to call, no more important conversation to be having.

2

We tell our own stories. Each of us has a story about who we are and how we have lived. In a courtroom, the proceedings begin with the story of who you are and what you did.

If you choose, you may tell that story to the judge yourself. As we come to the Yamim Noraim, the Days of Awe, one of the questions we need to ask is how the stories of our lives will reflect upon us, and if the answer is poorly, then we have an opportunity to change our narrative.

26 CJ – Voices of conservative /masorti judaism Fall 2014

3

The consequences for bad behavior are clear. It was sobering to hear the charges read against each defendant and then to hear the penalty associated with that crime. There was no room to claim, “But I didn’t know.”

When the consequences are stated from the outset, we are held responsible for our behavior in an unbiased and fair manner.

4

This is not an easy place to be.

The courtroom is not designed to make you feel comfortable. The seats are hard, the protocol unfamiliar, and so much is at stake. When we come to the synagogue during Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, we also know there is a great deal at stake, and this is not easy. Even in the moments when we can sit back and let the music or the words wash over us, much of what happens is designed to challenge us, to discomfit us, to make us examine the larger strokes of our lives.

5

We would like God to be a strong, fair and easygoing judge.

When we asked the trooper what people hope for in a judge, that was his response. The same is true for our heavenly judge. We want there to be standards, we want to be held accountable. But we pray that God is fair and gentle, or as we say repeatedly, “slow to anger and quick to forgive.”

6

Our fate is in our own hands.

When we asked the judge about the relationship between strict justice and merciful justice, she replied that it was not up to her, it was up to the defendant. She metes out judgment based on a person’s behavior, his or her degree of remorse and what the law requires.

7

We each come to the synagogue with different feelings, different motivations. In the courtroom we saw lawyers, defendants, witnesses, victims, police officers, family members, and court officers. In the synagogue, especially on the High Holidays, we look around and see people who have come for very different reasons.

Over the course of the holidays, each of them will have their moment with God. But all will be judged, all will be heard.

8

It is unsettling to face judgment.

From the moment that I walked down the hallway outside the courtroom, I had a funny feeling in my stomach. I even wondered if the people were looking at me and wondering what brought me there. We may have been to shul for these High Holidays for 10, 20, 80, or 90 years – but still we come with trepidation as we approach judgment. continues on page 54

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the jewish year

PHOTO BY: Phil Bath, 1966. Courtesy of Library of Congress

M

The Koufax Midrash A sports fanatic, who happens to be a rabbi, wants to know where Sandy Koufax was when he wasn’t playing in the World Series.

By Rabbi Jeremy Fine

idrash is the text behind the biblical text. It helps bring biblical stories to life. But in many cases, rabbis teach these stories as if they are a part of Jewish history. While Judaism is made up of laws, rituals, and customs, its heart has always been in midrash.

In 1965 a story was formulated that, for many Jews, is on par with biblical magic. The story goes that on Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the Jewish calendar, the greatest baseball pitcher of all time, Sandy Koufax, put religion before baseball and sat out the first game of the World Series. Most Jews have heard this story. Religious school teachers always tell this story in their classrooms this time of year. But this article is not about whether Koufax pitched or did not pitch; the question is, if Koufax was not on the mound on October 6, 1965, where was he?

Who am I to tell this story? A little over two years ago I became a rabbi at Temple of Aaron in Saint Paul, Minnesota, a Conservative synagogue that has served the Twin Cities for over 100 years. Included in its many claims to fame is having appeared in scenes from the 2009 film A Serious Man and being the former congregation of Beatty Zimmermann (aka Bob Dylan’s mother). What it might be most famous for is that Koufax attended its Yom Kippur service instead of pitching. Or did he? It was one of the first things I heard when I came to Saint Paul, which to a Jewish sports blogger (TheGreatRabbino.com) was very enticing, but along the way I learned a thing or two about Koufax’s absence from the field and his presence in synagogue.

Jane Leavy, the author of Sandy Koufax’s biography Sandy Koufax: A Lefty’s Legacy, wrote about Koufax’s whereabouts that day: “Koufax did not attend services there that day or anywhere else. A friend may well have made arrangements for Koufax to attend as [Rabbi Bernard] Raskas was led to believe. But friends say he chose to stay alone in his hotel room.”

While Leavy claims he was not in synagogue, many within the Saint Paul community believe Koufax left his Saint Paul Hotel room to attend services. Temple of Aaron would have been the logical and closest choice.

There is still some confusion among Temple of Aaron members. The uncertainty stems from the old tradition of having two High Holiday services, one at 9 am and a second in the afternoon. It is possible that some saw Koufax and some did not because no one stayed for both services.

Congregant Bonnie Goldstein told Leavy, “Everyone agrees he was at the early service.” Therefore, if he was at the early service, those at the second service would never have seen him, and much of the buzz would have been hearsay. Leavy continues, “The rabbi, Bernard Raskas, waited until afternoon services to address the issue, affirming to the congregation that Koufax had been there, seated in the back, near an exit. In Raskas’ recollection, they nodded to each Jeremy Fine is other…He did not want to infringe on the pitcher’s associate rabbi privacy.” It is possible that everyone is right; he was at Temple of both in attendance and not in attendance referring Aaron in St. Paul, to two different services.

Minnesota. continues on page 54

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focus on college

The College Tour Finding the Right Jewish Mix Choosing a college is also about choosing a community for the next four years.

By Beth Kissileff

D

on’t look at the container, but rather what is in it.”

This wisdom from the Ethics of the Fathers (4:27) usually applies to people, but it’s just as appropriate for today’s college campuses. There are many wonderful schools across the country with all kinds of amenities, but that doesn’t mean all are equal when it comes to Jewish life.

Being away at college means that a student will be in the process of forming a new community for the next four years.

Hopefully, that community will include academic stimulation and interests, preparation for the working world, and Jewish connections on some level. One of the most important things to keep in mind is that kids change over the course of four years. They should choose institutions that will accommodate a range of Jewish possibilities and expeBeth Kissileff is a riences. “Fit” is one of the most overfreelance writer and used words when it comes to kids and the editor of the college, but it is crucial. Be sure that anthology Reading as you go about selecting a college, Genesis (Continuum, you look at how your son or daughter 2015). She lives in will fit in at a school Jewishly, as well Pittsburgh. as academically and extracurricularly.

30 CJ – Voices of conservative /masorti judaism Fall 2014

A

fter a year of college searching with my oldest daughter, here is our advice to prospective students and their parents.

Visit and spend a Shabbat. Most schools have programs for prospective students to stay overnight with a host student. If you are serious about a school, it’s the best way to gauge what Jewish life is like. Don’t assume that because a school is 20 or 30 percent Jewish there will be big lively Friday night dinners. If that’s something you want, even if sporadically and not every week, go and see for yourself what Shabbat is like on that campus.

Talk to students. Ask them questions about how they spend their leisure time and what activities are popular. If you are sports-obsessed and the school does not have teams, you won’t want to consider it, and if you love Israeli dancing and won’t be able to do it, you likewise might want to keep looking for another campus.

What kinds of programs and activities are there?

Think about what kinds of new interests and religious needs you might have or want to develop in college and be sure the campus can accommodate them.

In Their Own Words Students from three colleges find a Jewish niche on campus.

Two are re-invigorating Conservative Judaism in the process.

How many students actually attend programs on a regular basis? Just because a brochure lists 50 different clubs at the Hillel doesn’t mean that they all are active. The students involved change from year to year. If you want to be in a Jewish a capella group, find out if the members are all seniors who are about to graduate without making plans for its continuing.

Make sure all the things you liked in the brochure are available.

For instance, at one small college, we were told that Hebrew and more advanced Jewish studies were available at a large university a few miles away and that the college would even pay for transportation to the larger school. But once we asked about taking the courses at the larger university, we found that you needed to take two trains to get there and the class times were radically different than the class times at the smaller school, making them unlikely options. Though the small college would have been a wonderful place to spend four years, my daughter did not apply there.

Another stop on our tour was a large university with a beautiful new Hillel building. We were there for the once a month community lunch. About 60 students, faculty members and guests like ourselves attended; my daughter was smitten with the school and its open curriculum. When we spoke with the students, however, my Shabbat observant daughter discovered that there were few undergraduates who shared her level of observance. One young man told us that he is “on the derech and off the derech”(on and off the path) in his observance. Though that is his prerogative, my daughter realized that his choice to be less careful in his Sabbath behaviors was also a matter of community. One can observe the Sabbath on a campus where there are not many other observers, but it is much more pleasant to have continues on page 54

Judaism Came Calling Growing up in the New York City public schools, I did not talk much about my Judaism. My interest was kind of a secret that I shared with my family and the Reconstructionist congregation in which I had been raised and become a bat mitzvah. I loved Judaism’s music its candles and rituals, and I loved the Bible stories that had always fascinated me. It was easier to fit in, though, if I could label religion as simplistic, ignorant and boring.

Then, as a sophomore at Haverford College, I took “The Bible and Literature,” and it marked a turning point: I felt my Jewish identity wake up, and it was starving.

I had been prepared to look at the Bible as a work of literature. However, it began to sink in that I could not separate myself from it, for I was dealing with a text whose consequences I could barely comprehend – the bedrock of the tradition that I had inherited.

I felt chained to characters I did not like and a God that struck me as mainly selfish, who seemed utterly removed from any deity to which I could ever relate, let alone speak. I had overwhelming questions: Why had so many of us died for these stories?

Why did we still care about these traditions and rituals that seemed so ancient and so out of place?

For our first paper, Professor Finley asked us to test a passage from Genesis with the theory of Erich Auerbach, a literary critic whose words would be the launching point of my academic trajectory. The biblical text is “fraught with background,” says Auerbach, and reading the Hebrew Bible calls the reader to be directly involved in filling in its baffling gaps. I selected the most shocking passage I could find: the story of Lot’s daughters, tricking their father into having intercourse with them after watching their husbands-to-be and their homes burn to the ground. I joined an extended millennia-old conversation, and I have been having that conversation ever since. But I found that the writing and the talking, which for me often consist of breaking apart what seems familiar and exposing its flaws, could not exist in a healthy way without something whole out of which it could grow.

That something took shape at the Jewish Student Union, a group of about six regular

U

By Gabrielle Goodman

participants, which was student-led with the help of an advisor from the nearby Reconstructionist Rabbinical College. We were all of it: the prayer-leaders, the cooks, the listserv monitors, the event planners, and the text-study group organizers. I found a holding place for my joys and frustrations in a little room in the basement of Jones dormitory complete with wall hangings, the most comfortable couches, and the tea-lights from Friday night resting on a mysteriously sticky coffee table. Here, even as I considered my own skepticism about our sacred texts, I felt encouraged to lead others into my discoveries.

As there was no outside person who would lead us or gloss anything over on our behalf, it seemed almost impossible to be a passive participant. We were a team of spiritual questioners. I would go over to Jones with my guitar and sing with other tired people on Friday night; afterward we would catch up about the week. On other nights, this was one of my favorite spots to study, where I would find some slightly stale challah, candy and tea, and feel grounded.

I began to discover comfort in holding what seems to be a paradox: the thirst to challenge, to struggle and to fight my tradition from every which way, and the start of my Jewish leadership, curiosity about the details of Jewish ritual, and comfort in relationship to myself and others. I need a lot of courage to plumb the depths of what I have inherited. Realizing that I was not alone in my need to do this was one of the most important gifts I received during college. Out of the quiet spaces of Shabbat, I could learn to understand that the purpose of Judaism was not to lull me to sleep with ignorant dogma, but to give me the strength to find my own meaning in its foundational texts, its prayers and its ideals, and then to hold up that practice of quiet criticism to anything else that comes my way.

Gabrielle Goodman graduated from Haverford College in 2012. This fall, she will begin pursuing a Masters of Theological Studies from the Harvard Divinity School.

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in focus

Building Campus Community The Ramah College Network creates opportunities for staff and alumni to connect year-round

By Marla Cohen

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dina Allen is a Camp Ramah poster child. She spent six summers at Camp Ramah in Wisconsin as a camper and as many summers since on staff.

This was her second summer as a rosh edah (division head). In her “off season,” Allen tries to connect with those counselors who, like she, attend Washington University in St. Louis.

“We have an active Ramah network here at Wash U,” she says. “It’s nice to bring them back to a place that has been so integral to their Jewish identity.” She estimates there are about 50 Marla Cohen is communications manager for JCC Association and an award-winning writer. Her work appears at www.marlaecohen.com.

former Ramah campers on campus, almost half of whom return to camp as staff members.

Not all are as hyper-connected Ramahniks as Allen. But they are part of a community looking to connect beyond online social networks. By providing opportunities within a Ramah-like setting, the National Ramah Commission (NRC) hopes to extend alumni and staff member links to the camp that gave them such a strong Jewish identity.

In Allen’s case, a grant from the NRC enabled her to organize a Ramah Shabbat on campus. “The Ramah vibe was very present throughout the entire evening,” she says. “Everyone could relate to bringing the energy and spirit of camp to a cold December in St. Louis.”

The NRC is interested in having a

32 CJ – Voices of conservative /masorti judaism Fall 2014

college presence “for a couple of reasons, but primarily to show young staff that we care about them,” says Rabbi Ami Hersh, NRC programming associate, who provides educational planning and oversight for Ramah’s eight overnight and four day camps. “Ramah can play an ongoing role in the shaping of their Jewish future,” says Hersh, who is also the assistant director of Ramah Day Camp in Nyack, New York.

“We want them to feel supported.”

O

utreach began in earnest about a decade ago and has intensified in recent years. Each summer, the Ramah College Network updates data on more than 1,000 alumni at more than 200 colleges and universities. Prospective students and their parents can get a handle on what kind

Learn more at www.campramah.org/content/collegenetwork

of Ramah presence exists on campus, as well as a general sense of the Jewish ta’am, or flavor, of schools they are considering.

Schools with deep Ramah connections include University of Michigan, Brandeis, Binghamton University, Indiana University, University of Maryland, Western University (formerly University of Western Ontario), and Washington University.

This year, the Ramah Camping Movement is piloting several new campus initiatives. The Ramah Service Corps will run programs with the Hillel centers at the University of Michigan and Indiana University. Camp Ramah in California will partner with the Hillel at the University of California, Berkeley, to launch the Hillel Ramah Fellowship translating the Jewish living experience and leadership skills learned at camp for the campus community.

The NRC also provides small grants that alumni can use for programming or learning. There have been dance festivals and havdalah programs as well as many Shabbat dinners. “But it has to be more than people just eating together,” Hersh notes. “There has to be real Jewish content.” The NRC received 15 proposals for programs this year.

Even though Americans might not think of Western University (in London, Ontario) as being a "Jewish" campus, it is actually one of the largest Ramah schools in North America, with 65 alumni on campus. According to Hersh, Ramah hosted a very successful Shabbaton there.

I

n his book, Relational Judaism, Ron Wolfson, the Fingerhut Professor of Education at American Jewish University, describes how difficult it is for Jewish institutions to engage people as they transition from one life stage to another, and notes the one from high school to college is no different.

“I would think that Ramah has done a

In Their Own Words

How Social Media Hurt, Then Saved, My College Minyan After growing up in a thriving Conservative synagogue where I attended Hebrew school, was active in USY, and was motivated to participate in USCJ’s Nativ College Leadership gap year program in Israel, I was more than ready to jump into collegiate Jewish life. Unfortunately, it seemed that those around me were not.

When I arrived at college in the fall of 2013, it became evident that the Jewish community I had heard so much about from online articles, alumni messages, and stories from friends was very different from advertised. I was eager to get involved, bubbling with enthusiasm to use the tools I’d gained to help contribute to the school’s sacred space. But my fellow peer leaders were incredibly pessimistic about anything associated with Conservative Judaism for college students.

With every programming attempt came a discussion over what to label it, how to avoid turning people away, and how we could be more inclusive. Allegedly, pluralism was the only thing that would sell, and those associated with a “dying” movement felt pressured to drop their background at the door to prevent walls of exclusion from forming.

The negativity my new friends associated with the institutions that had helped me develop into the passionate Jew I am today, came from what they had read online but never experienced for themselves. In fact, the Judaism they practiced, the egalitarian services they loved to attend, and the nusachim (tunes) they used for prayer all stemmed from the substantial history of the very denomination they feared.

Whether it’s never embracing rainfall because your electronic device told you to stay inside, or allowing trending topics on the Internet to influence you without formulating your own opinions, our world of constantly beeping and buzzing technology often causes us to lose sight of the realities staring us in the face. Pessimistic blog posts might be brutally honest, but they neglect the success stories that Conservative Judaism produces on a daily basis.

U

By Joshua Ull

Following a semester of lonely internal struggles and questioning, I was shocked to find that the solutions to my frustrations lay within the same realm that had brought me down – cyberspace. I turned to my phone and computer to find answers on how to convince my new peers to not be afraid of a denomination. From United Synagogue’s Teen Learning Department staff, to my network of former USYers, I learned how other people had dealt with similar challenges, and I ended up with a web of interlocking ideas for improving my situation. Something as simple as a Facebook brainstorming group, a monthly call across the country, or connecting with innovative rabbis can now transform my outlook.

As my year progressed, I saw tangible change. We succeeded in expanding services, to include the first-ever Conservative Saturday morning option every few months.

With a warmer, more welcoming atmosphere, and a newfound attitude of confidence about the Judaism we were observing, more likeminded students were attracted to join us, and our reputation is turning around.

The fact is we must all learn to look up from our devices and draw conclusions from lived experiences. Still, it’s imperative to explore the positive sides of these inventions, so that we can expand our reach and continue to foster a movement of inspired, thriving kehillot both in towns and on campus. Together we can reverse the struggle our youth face when leaving the comfort of their home communities by supporting initiates to create a Conservative Judaism that rings with collegiate spirit and positivity.

Joshua Ull is a sophomore at Muhlenberg College in Allentown, Pennsylvania. A former USY International President, this was his second summer staffing the USY on Wheels program for teens.

continues on page 34

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in focus better job than most in retaining engagement of teenagers who have come through the ranks, become counselors and then head of edot during college,” he writes in an email. “This reflects the extraordinary loyalty and pull of the camp.”

Nonetheless, Ramah, like other organizations, can no longer assume that even engaged teens want to connect once they are in college. Working outside of organizations such as Hillel and providing incentives for engagement go a long way toward allowing students to own their Judaism and invent something they want to be a part of, he says.

“It cannot be a ’business as usual’ model, a programmatic model, a membership model, what feels like more of the same,” writes Wolfson.

To that end, the Ramah College Network has made outreach key. Aviva Millstone, the assistant director of Camp Ramah in Canada, toured three campuses – Western University and Queens University in Ontario, and McGill University in Montreal – simply to make alumni and staff feel part of Ramah, even in the offseason. “We want to retain them and we want them to know that we’ll be there for them,” she says. “We want to keep camp on their minds throughout the year.”

This year’s Shabbaton at Western University included Shabbat dinners in student homes. There was some learning, and, of course, singing. According to Orli Bogler, the school "is full of Ramah kids and we’re all very connected.” She became a Ramah camper as soon as she was eligible, when she was seven years old. This will be her third summer working as a counselor at Ramah Canada.

Ramah works with Hillel: The Foundation for Jewish Campus Life at various colleges, says Hersh. At the University of Maryland, Hillel connects with alumni and staff and often coordinates Shabbat dinners.

34 CJ – Voices of conservative /masorti judaism Fall 2014

In Their Own Words

Students Reignite Conservative Flame

Jewish life is not hard to find. But it’s up to each person to connect.

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niversity of maryland student Aryeh Kalender, whose father, a Conservative rabbi, and mother both attended Ramah camps, has worked at Camp Ramah in New England (where his mother also works) for the past four summers. He explains that the challenges at Maryland are unique. The Jewish presence is large, and “Jewish life is not hard to find.” Kalender says they are trying to create a more pluralistic environment, “But it’s up to each person to connect.”

Kalender has become involved in Ometz, a student group focusing on Conservative, egalitarian davening. (See article at right.) Using Kalender’s Ramah connections, Ometz planned a Shabbat dinner and extravaganza that attracted 80 people. As at Western University, the dinners took place in student apartments both on and off campus, and afterward, everyone came together for an oneg.

The evening received funding from the National Ramah Commission as well as several other Jewish organizations.

Kalender says, “So many people I talk to say that once their camp or their USY experience is done, they don’t have an outlet that is egalitarian and exciting.

Ramah has the chance to provide this kind of experience. It’s a great opportunity for Ramah and the movement.” CJ

In the fall of 2013, Hillel staff at the University of Maryland brought together a diverse group of students with a passion for Conservative Judaism. Some of us had been active with Conservative Judaism on campus, while others were newly involved.

Together we brainstormed about the Jewish experiences we wanted to have while at Maryland. We talked about the strengths and weaknesses of Conservative Judaism’s former campus program, Koach, the kind of identity we wanted to forge, and the values we wanted our community to embody. Over the next few months, we held focus groups to discuss our long-term goals and vision for this community.

We came out of this process excited and hopeful, and we believed that to convey those feelings to our peers, our group needed a new name, a clear identity, and innovative methods. Knowing the challenges that lay ahead as a new student group with connections to an evolving movement – we chose the name Ometz, meaning courage.

Of course, successful community building is not a one-size-fits-all endeavor. But we would like to share some of what we’ve learned over the past year and the key principles underpinning this new organization.

Open Leadership We believe the best way to build community is for everyone to feel personally invested in, and responsible for, the community. Ometz provides as many ways as possible for people to get involved. Rather than working from a traditional board model, we focus on community involvement in planning and leading programming. Our student coordinators and community members work together to create positive, fun and high-quality Jewish experiences. We hold bi-weekly meetings that serve as an open forum for anyone to provide feedback and collaborate.

Clear Identity Ometz is centered around three core pillars of community: prayer, learning and social events. This is the foundation of who we are, and every action we take stems from this core. While it’s essential to adapt to the needs of our community, we believe that any adaptation must remain true to our identity.

Simply put, we are an egalitarian Conservative community, respecting Jewish tradition and law, while simultaneously striving to create a welcoming and accepting environment for students from all backgrounds.

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By Liat Deener-Chodirker, Katie Hamelburg, Aryeh Kalender, Ilan Layman, and Danielle Leopold The Greater UMD Jewish Community Ours is a thriving Hillel filled with passionate religious, educational and cultural groups.

We frequently co-sponsor events with students involved in other Hillel groups, clubs or fellowships. We are grateful to be at a university with thousands of Jewish students, many of whom come from Conservative backgrounds. While some of these students come to Hillel seeking a religious experience, many do not, due to fear or discomfort. We reach out to both involved and uninvolved Jewish students to engage in conversation, make personal connections, and spark an interest in Ometz.

Our experience is not unique. There are many campuses where Conservative students come together to reinvigorate their communities. The task of creating a meaningful college religious experience for alumni of Kadima, USY, Ramah, Schechter, or Nativ can be daunting. But we believe that when the immense passion within the Conservative community is channeled creatively, a vibrant and formative college Jewish experience can be created.

We are incredibly grateful to the members of Ometz and the Maryland Hillel staff for being a part of our growth. We are also grateful to all the donors whose support helped make Ometz possible: Hillel International, the National Ramah Commission, Howard and Jo Ann Wurzak through a grant to United Synagogue, and the many congregations, rabbis, and families who donated to Ometz programming.

The past semester has made us optimistic about the continued strength of Ometz and its potential to reinvigorate Conservative Judaism on college campuses. However, we must continuously rethink, reevaluate and adapt to remain relevant, exciting and engaging. We are confident that Ometz will persevere and thrive. We have faith in the community we have begun to build and are excited to see how it progresses, morphs and comes together.

Liat, Katie, Aryeh, Ilan, and Danielle were spring 2014 Ometz student coordinators. They can be reached at ometzumd@ gmail.com, found on Facebook at “Ometz at UMD,” and viewed at ometzumd.wix. com/home.

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in focus

Admit One Parents should not get involved with essays, and other expert advice on getting into college

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r. Joie Jager-Hyman wants you stop worrying about college admissions. Or at least stop worrying so much. In her new book, B+ Grades, A+ College Application, Jager-Hyman demystifies the admissions process and explains, clearly and calmly, what admissions directors look for and how to show them your best, authentic, self. Jager-Hyman should know. She’s a former assistant director of admissions at Dartmouth College who now runs her own college-admissions consulting firm, College Prep 360, and she appears frequently in the media discussing college admissions and the attendant frenzy. (She’s also a product of Camp Ramah in the Berkshires.) Don’t be misled by the title: with its insights and step-by-step guidance, Jager-Hyman’s book definitely would work for A students (and their parents), too.

CJ: If someone wants an active Jewish life on campus, how should they go about finding it?

JJH: Hillel keeps a good list of Jewish communities at various colleges, and that’s a good place to start just to see how many Jews there are on campus. If a school has a full-time or a part-time rabbi with whom you can get in touch, that’s also really great, and the Hillel or other Jewish center should be a stop on your tour when you visit the campus.

CJ: What should you ask?

JJH: Ask how many people are at a typical Friday night service and if they have weekly Saturday morning services. Ask what the community’s like. Usually there’s also student leadership at Hillel, and you should try to get in touch with the president. Not every campus has a full-time rabbi.

CJ: Is it important to visit in person?

JJH: Basically you need to visit any college.

If you look at the behavioral economics literature about how you make good decisions, there are two components: the logical component, and that’s going to include

things like can you get in there, the location, the size, and all the things that are on the typical college checklist. And then there’s the emotional component – how do you feel there? People often say, “I just walked into campus and I knew,” and sometimes that kind of talk gets dismissed as less important than some of the more objective criteria, but it’s really not.

CJ: What’s the biggest mistake that kids make?

JJH: I think there’s a place for prestige in the process, and for thinking about a school’s status or brand. But I think overemphasizing prestige can be a mistake, at least when it’s to the detriment of being happy. Kids who overreach can end up unhappy. They apply to a lot of “reach” schools and then receive a lot of rejections, and that can be tough. I try to have kids create a well-rounded list and to think about the emotional importance of not receiving only bad news.

CJ: What do you actually do when you work with a high school student?

JJH: I first explain how the process works

36 CJ – Voices of conservative /masorti judaism Fall 2014

– how an application gets read and how to help admissions officers answer the question, “What makes this student different, and how is he or she going to contribute?”

I try to look at what the student’s already doing, and say, “You enjoy doing this, here are five ideas of how to take it to the next level.” Eventually, of course, I advise them on things like standardized testing and the college list. I don’t ever write essays – I help them with topics and thinking about how to summarize what they’ve done and put their best selves into the application.

CJ: How would you advise parents about college essays?

JJH: Parents are almost always the worst judges of what the essay should be about.

I tell parents that the essay needs to be at the highest standard, and they should absolutely make sure their kid is receiving some kind of support for that – whether it’s an English teacher, someone else at school, or if they can afford to have somebody come in and help. But developmentally, a teenager is trying to create their own identity, and it can be hard when a parent wants to come in and micromanage.

CJ: Do you have any tips for parents on how to help their kids while avoiding conflict?

JJH: Number one is don’t make the process all about you. It’s hard to do that – your kid is leaving. That’s something people don’t always realize is lurking, but it is. There are certain practical things you can do. If you want financial aid, you can make sure to get those forms in on time. And organization. There are a lot of little pieces that go into the process and different things to organize. Planning college visits is something that’s also helpful.

CJ: Your central message seems to be, “Don’t think that because you don’t have a straight A average that you can’t find a good school.”

JJH: Absolutely. I think the rhetoric around this is all about the frenzy and how hard it is, and it makes people feel like they don’t

Ask how many people are at a typical Friday night service and if they have weekly Saturday morning services have options. And that is what makes people feel panicked. I want everybody to know that they have great options.

The truth is that with more good students, which is what makes the applicant pool more selective, you also have a side effect of having more good schools.

It really is the rising tide lifting all the boats. CJ

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in focus

Taking the Long-Short Path Nativ is an Israel gap year program that pays dividends down the road

By Yossi Garr

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he Talmud tells us the following story. Rabbi Yehoshua ben Chananya related: Once, I was traveling and saw a child sitting at a fork in the road. I asked him which route shall I take to the city? And the child replied, “this is short long, this one is long short.” I took the short long way and as I neared the city entrance it was obstructed with gardens and orchards. I retraced my steps and said to the lad, “Did you not tell me this is the short way?” to which the lad replied, “Did I not say it was long?” I kissed him on his head and said, “Blessed are you the Jewish people, for you are all smart; from the great ones to the young ones.”

The authors of this story had an important message, which is still relevant today. Throughout our lives, we find ourselves standing at forks in the road. Many times, the path that is best seems obvious, but there are other times when the correct choice is not so clear. Gap years, between high school and college, certainly fall into the category of “the long-short path.”

The road may seem longer, but ultimately the traveler reaches his destination first. However, our first question should be – when it comes to college life, what is this “destination?” High school students spend so much time thinking about how to get into college that they often miss the more important question – what are we supposed to do once we get there? And is the ultimate goal the college experience or the life that comes after?

Harvard University encourages admitted students to take a gap year before beginning college. According to an article on the school’s website, between 80 and 110 admitted students choose to take time off before their freshman year. Harvard recognizes

38 CJ – Voices of conservative /masorti judaism Fall 2014

a critical piece of the education puzzle, which is that college is not about the four years spent on a specific campus. Rather, college is about developing who we are as people through academics, critical thinking, involvement in extracurricular activities, research, and more. College is a step on the way to adulthood.

In a more specific way, many in the Orthodox world subscribe to a similar philosophy, in which every student would benefit from a gap year spent in Israel, the natural place to develop one’s Jewish identity. It has become the norm in Orthodox high schools to have a gap year advisor in the college admissions office. The result is that many of the graduating seniors head off to Israel to study in yeshivot or seminaries before starting college in North America.

The fact that the non-Orthodox world has not done the same is not a matter of resources, but of priorities. There are many gap year programs designed to answer the different needs of a wide variety of students, emphasizing travel, internships, volunteer opportunities, and study. Students should do extensive research on gap years, just as they do for college, because the right choice can shape the way a student’s college experience will unfold.

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or the past 33 years, the Conservative movement has offered the Nativ College Leadership Program as its own gap year option in Israel. (Nativ, fittingly, means “path.”)

Over 2,000 students have explored Israel and their Jewish identities in a supportive and challenging environment, in a country where the overall tone is set by the Jewish calendar. In addition

to academic or Judaic studies and intensive community volunteer work, each student has the space and support to build his or her own personal Jewish narrative within the framework of an observant Conservative kehilla.

The value of the experiences Nativ students have over the course of the year becomes clear when they reach their college campuses. Those who return from a gap year like Nativ find their student life niche more quickly than others, because they know what is important to them before they arrive. Their college experience is shaped by the values that were honed by their Nativ experience. This allows them to maximize the college years, strengthening their core values, which will guide them for the rest of their lives.

Based on a 2012 study of Nativ alumni, we know that 92 percent are involved with at least one Jewish or Israel organization on campus; 65 percent hold leadership positions in them; 88 percent separate Shabbat out from the rest of the week; 91 percent believe that they will marry a Jew. In addition to the statistics, alumni shared their thoughts about how Nativ affected their years in college and beyond.

One said, “Separating my adjustment to life on my own from

adjusting to a college workload allowed me to come into college wiser, with more perspective on how to get the most out of it.” Another shared that “Nativ definitely helped me clarify/ focus on what I really want to spend my time doing in college.”

Lastly, one recalled that Nativ “resparked my Jewish connection and is the reason I attend services on Shabbat, keep kosher, and why I’m so involved in Hillel.”

Rabbi Yehoshua ben Chananya initially took the path that he believed would be fastest. He found out, however, that sometimes the less obvious one is the faster track. High school students who are about to enter college want to “start living their lives,” but the best way to do that may be to first take a detour.

The short long road is going straight to college – they may be starting school faster, but they may not necessarily know how best to use their time there. Those who choose the long short road recognize that college and the life beyond are about much more than academics. They are about taking all the values that have been instilled by parents, rabbis, teachers, and advisors, and making them their own, allowing students to enter college more mature, surer of themselves, and more ready to forge their own paths. CJ

www.cjvoices.org 39

the bookshelf

By Lisa Silverman Lisa Silverman is director of the Sinai Temple Blumenthal Library, Los Angeles.

The December Project: An Extraordinary Rabbi and a Skeptical Seeker Confront Life’s greatest mystery Sara Davidson W.W. Norton, 2013, 342 pages

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his engaging portrait of popular rabbi and spiritual leader Zalman SchachterShalomi, who passed away in July, is not biography, but rather a portrait of the spiritual journey undertaken by writer Sara Davidson and her encounters with a remarkable man. While ostensibly about facing death, this affecting discourse on aging well will inspire readers to keep it by their bedsides in order to re-read their favorite chapters.

Museum of Extraordinary Things Alice Hoffman Scribner, 2014, 384 pages lice Hoffman’s new novel is itself an extraordinary thing. The cover photo of some sort of mermaid (Is it a fish? Is it an x-ray? Is it something magical?) sets the stage for the dramatic mix of romance, historical fiction and magic conjured by the talented author of The Dovekeepers and other popular novels.

The story takes place in 1911 New York City and is book-ended by the riveting tales of tragic fires that occurred two months apart: the Triangle Shirtwaist factory and the Dreamland Fire on the Coney Island boardwalk.

The world of freak shows, common at the time, is explored through Coralie Sardie and her sinister “scientist” of a father, who runs his freakish museum with all the outsized cruelty of a mustachioed villain plucked from a silent film.

He trains Coralie to hold her breath and swim for hours in a tank, exhibiting her as a living mermaid due to her unusual webbed fingers. One night, while swimming the Hudson River, she spies the young, handsome Eddie Cohen, an

apprentice photographer, and falls in love at first sight. A Russian Jewish immigrant who has given up on his father’s Orthodoxy and assimilated into the teeming masses of the New York streets, Eddie has learned to fend for himself. He also has developed a reputation for locating missing people. In March, 1911, Eddie finds himself on site to photograph the Triangle fire, and subsequently he is hired to solve the mystery of a girl who disappeared that day but whose body was never found.

Part detective story, part love story and part magical fairy tale, Hoffman’s painstaking historical research adds color and depth to an intriguing story of murder, deceit and family secrets in a changing New York. Readers will be moved by the fascinating characters and the grace with which they overcome what life has brought them: a wolfman, a woman disfigured by acid, an ex-convict who talks to birds, a one-armed animal trainer, a Dutchman living alone in a hut at the marshy end of Manhattan island, a wealthy family whose lives are disrupted by the rising labor movement, and the many observant Jews learning how to survive during the tumultuous times of the early 20th century.

Davidson, a baby boomer, grapples with caring for her aging mother with dementia, a close call with death in Afghanistan, and her concerns about her own health. In 2009, she got a call from Reb Zalman, the charismatic founder of the Jewish Renewal movement who was living nearby in Colorado. At age 85, he had been contemplating his own death, and wanted to reach out to others to teach them how to examine the profundity of their December years. At the time, Davidson, who calls herself “a skeptical seeker,” was considering “how best to live whatever years were still ahead” and the two began weekly conversations in his home. Reb Zalman called these conversations “The December Project,” and the book Davidson wrangled from her tape recorded sessions is compelling

and important.

A sampling of the chapter headings proves the point: What If It Ends in Nothing? Planning the Exit; Can We Choose When to Die? Forgive, Forgive; The Ultimate Letting Go. Schachter-Shalomi’s life story is interwoven with Davidson’s recounting of their conversations. Born in Poland, he narrowly escaped the Nazis, became a Hasidic rabbi ordained by the Lubavitch movement (but later broke with them), and founded his own movement. Eventually known as Jewish Renewal, it combines meditation and mysticism with music and Hasidic practices. Reb Zalman encourages people to have direct experiences with God. Davidson’s conversations with him are heartrending but also entertaining, due to her ability to capture the delightful

A

40 CJ – Voices of conservative /masorti judaism Fall 2014

personality of her teacher.

The last 20 pages of the book consist of exercises that Davidson says will “help you become more at ease with mortality.” “Taking up the December Project,” says Reb Zalman, “can make each day sweeter and more meaningful. It can also help you accept the challenging times and see their value.” Davidson recommends taking up the project with other people and to start by creating a file or notebook with pages titled “Gratitude,” “Forgive,” “Things I still want to do or complete,” and “Intuition.”

Reb Zalman has deeply affected the lives of thousands of individuals, Jews and non-Jews, and he will continue to do so as readers take his spiritual end-of-life observations to heart.

Storm Donna Jo Napoli Simon and Schuster, 2014, 368 pages

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ystopian novels for teens are big these days. Thanks to their compelling writing, dashes of romance and mature themes, crossover novels like The Hunger Games and Divergent have gained wide popularity among adults. But dystopian novels are usually set in a futuristic society-gone-wrong, not in a mythic biblical past, as popular YA author Donna Jo Napoli attempts in this cleverly re-imagined tale of Noah’s ark. This apocalyptic vision of the well-known story is populated with realistic characters who learn to live by their wits when their world is destroyed.

By the end of the first chapter, 16-year-old Sebah (who is unrelated to Noah and lives miles away from where the ark was built) struggles to survive after losing her home and family in the flood. She takes shelter in a tree along with her small cat and another random survivor, a boy named Aban. They build a raft and hope for the best. When the giant boat floats by in the distance, Sebah figures out a way to get on board with the help of a wise pair of bonobos. But she quickly realizes she must conceal herself

from Noah and his quar reling family for her own safety. What follows is a pageturning adventure stor y that would appeal to anyone who has ever wondered about the logistics on that huge ark with its hundreds of caged animals for 370 days.

Napoli includes a detailed timeline, different than the traditional 40 days and 40 nights, in her author’s notes at the end of the book. As usual for this award-winning author and professor of linguistics at Swarthmore College, the research is impeccable and her process is fascinating. A close reading of Genesis, chapters 7– 8, reveals how long it took for the waters to recede after the rain stopped on the 40th night.

Certainly a lot can happen in 370 days, and the chapter headings counting off the time help add to the suspense. Napoli’s vivid imagination and vast knowledge of classic myths and stories, along with her understanding of animal biology and behavior, propel this unlikely survival story toward its satisfying, cinematic ending. Although this book is recommended for readers 14 and up due to some violence and sexuality (clearly bonobos enjoy the act of mating), and it may be disapproved by biblical literalists, it will surely find an audience among readers who like their heroines spunky and with the courage to overcome catastrophe and begin life anew.

Suddenly, Love Aharon Appelfeld Shocken, 2014, 240 pages

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haron Appelfeld’s latest novel doesn’t have much of a plot, but it is a beautifully written exploration of the themes of memory, loneliness, and mature love. Although usually the author sticks to European settings, this time he writes about the possibilities of blossoming love between Ernst, an aging Israeli retiree, and Irena, his quiet 30-something caretaker.

Ernst is 70 years old, depressed and tortured by his seeming inability to become a published writer (he is attempting to pen a memoir about

his childhood in Czernowitz before the war).

This short novel follows his writer’s block and the slow unfolding of Irena’s simple but powerful love. Her devotion serves as the catalyst that will open Ernst’s mind to the memories of his past in Soviet Russia.

Ernst knows he is unwell and Irena’s steady, caring presence initiates feelings of regret for his pre-war Communist philosophy and antiJewish actions as a Party rabble-rouser. As he finds his way back to his past, he writes a romanticized version of what was. “Now his life is coming back to him like a spirit returning from the dead, and he knows that it seeks correction,” writes Appelfeld, amid scenes of an idealized pre-war Jewish Romania. Like Appelfeld himself, Ersnt writes and speaks to Irena in German, his first language, and revels in the European café culture of hours lingering over great philosophical discussions that was once prevalent on the streets of Tel Aviv and Jerusalem.

Irena is so gentle and innocent, that, this too, is a romanticized notion of what love could, or possibly should, be. Perhaps Appelfeld is writing with longing about an idealized caretaker of his own: “She sees that he struggles day and night, pouring his soul into the long pages that lie on his desk. Why not rest a little from writing? she wants to cry out every time she sees his drained face.”

Born in a displaced persons camp after the war, lonely Irena spiritually communicates with her recently dead parents, Holocaust survivors.

She has only a 10th-grade education, which contrasts sharply with Ernst’s. But as his illness overtakes him, and her devotion conquers his writing block, she grows out of her attachment to the past and in her simple way, learns how to just be in the world.

The compelling simplicity of Appelfeld’s prose is particularly enhanced by the beautiful translation by Jeffrey M. Green. CJ

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Women’s League for Conservative Judaism Visit us at www.wlcj.org.

meet your new president

by Carol Simon

The new president of Women's League describes how a one time decision put her on the path to leadership in this excerpt from her installation speech, delivered at Convention 2014 in July.

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want to talk about journeys, both personal and collective.

As a noun, a journey is a passage from one stage or place to another. As a metaphor, a journey can be much more personal; it’s about how we got where we are today.

My journey began years ago in a small boardroom at a synagogue in Carol Simon is Miami. The sisterhood was at a trouinternational bled crossroads. I sat there thinking president of Women’s that if I didn’t volunteer to be a co-presLeague for ident, the sisterhood would remain a Conservative Judaism. group of committed, but older, women – no one new, no one representing me or my friends. Funny thing is, those women were only slightly older than I am now!

Little did I realize then how that one decision would shape my journey. Getting involved in a sisterhood influenced my personal and religious growth, and continues to do so today. It provided me with a life-changing sense of Jewish community and with a precious web of friends. Just as importantly, it gave me a place where I could try new things and go beyond my comfort zone. That one little decision to volunteer has opened doors that I never could have envisioned sitting in that boardroom.

Over the years, I have often wondered how women acquire leadership skills. For me, it was clear: sisterhood. Within that supportive community, women encourage one another to be creative, to be courageous, to press for change, to confront challenges, and to embrace opportunities. Along our personal journeys, in sisterhoods and in Women’s League, we meet outstanding women who befriend us, who mentor us, women

42 CJ – Voices of conservative /masorti judaism Fall 2014

who reach out to us. While the programmatic focus of Women’s League has changed to suit the times, the driving message remains unchanged: “I can do that. We can do that.”

Our sisterhoods are blessed with an incredibly diverse cross section of women – teachers and social workers, accountants and managers, lawyers and health care workers, mothers and grandmothers, sisters and daughters, all committed, in one way or another, to the ideals of Conservative Judaism and the vision of Women’s League founder Mathilde Schechter and the pioneering women who worked with her.

Today we still treasure every member. My goal is to reach out to our members to connect ... and, just as importantly, to lean in to listen, to find out what we can do to help sisterhoods grow and flourish, and what our members need, personally, to make their Jewish connections stronger and more spiritually fulfilling.

Many people contend that sisterhood is an anachronism, rooted in the past. I know from personal experience that a women’s community provides important and even healthful benefits and comfort to its members. In a Jewish women’s organization, the additional benefit of our shared cultural identity and history further enriches and energizes each of us.

We are the only organization devoted specifically to Conservative Jewish women. Throughout our nearly 100 year history, we have fostered enlightened Jewish learning among our members. We have advocated fiercely for the State of Israel, provided essential financial support to our educational institutions, and promoted the power and dignity of women’s voices in prayer and study. That is the Women’s League legacy and that continues to be our value. We look to provide every community with a women’s group committed to our collective goals, and to provide every Conservative Jewish woman with a community of which to be a part. CJ

Save the Dates!

Women’s League for Conservative Judaism would like to thank the following for their support of the Simchat Megillat Esther project. Thanks to their generosity, Soferet Rabbi Hanna Klebansky, one of the very few trained female scribes, created a magnificent Megillat Esther to be used by Women’s League regions and sisterhoods.

July 8-12, 2015 FJMC Biennial Convention Miami Beach, Florida Deauville Beach Resort Plan to join us as we…

Engage with the top thinkers and leaders in Conservative Judaism.

UNDERWRITERS Margie Miller Rita L. Wertlieb CHAPTERS Gloria Adelson, in honor of Rita Wertlieb and Margie Miller Ellen Kaner Bresnick, in honor of my mother Lillian (Libby) Kaner Debbi Kaner Goldich, in memory of my grandmothers, Sarah Titlebaum and Rebecca Kaner Lillian (Libby) Kaner Janet Kirschner, in memory of Beverly Coleman and Ruchel Kirschner Anna Tractenberg Marilyn Wind Lauren Wishnew Diane Wohl ESTHER’S SISTERHOOD Blanche Meisel Sisterhood of Temple Gates of Prayer, Flushing, NY VASHTI’S HAREM Sisterhood of Beth Israel, Owings Mills, MD Beth El Synagogue, St. Louis Park, MN PAST PRESIDENTS Evelyn Auerbach Gloria Cohen Cory Schneider Evelyn Seelig Janet Tobin Selma Weintraub MORDECAI’S MISHPACHAH Gaye Altman, in honor of Seth Altman, Ira, Lisa, Mya and Mason Altman

Laurie B. Davis, in memory of my loving mother, Adorea S. Goodman Lila Frost Phyllis Goldberg, in honor of wedding of Cara Goldberg and Lawrence Grossman Gail Goldfarb, in honor of grandchildren Remy and Shane Cooperstein Lela Beren Jacoby, in memory of my beloved mother, Ethel A. Beren Dr. Barbara Levin Joyce Malech Sandy Myers, in memory of all of the great women in my life Donna Oser Anise Parnes Sue Press, in memory of my beloved mother, Sylvia Press, and my grandmothers, Eva Kalish and Annie Press Carol Simon Seaboard Region Sisterhood of Congregation Shaarey Zedek, Southfield, MI AHASUERUS’ COURT Barbara Ezring Marjorie Fuhrmann Shelley Galant, in memory of Frances Zimmerman Shelly Goldin Lois Jacobs Judi Kenter Iris Lasky Vivian Leber Harriet Merkowitz Esther Mosak, in honor of Sisterhood of Congregation Beth Judea, Long Grove, IL Ziza Pallia, in honor of the Pallia Family: Elie & Ziza, Mannie, Tanya, Elijah, Bert, Kim, Zoe & Blair

Cheryl Patt Rena Papierno Mimi Pollack Hanna Lee Pomerantz Fran Radel Illene Rubin Anne Schimberg, in honor of the women of Florida Region Randy Schwartz Susan Schwirck Sharon Shorten Lorraine Snow, in honor of Phyllis Veloric, Renee Veloric Joyce Berlin Weingarten Marcia Toppall Carla Vogel Sisterhood of Ohev Shalom of Bucks County, Richboro, PA Sisterhood of Temple Beth Torah, Westbury, NY, in honor of Fran Katz Sisterhood of Conservative Synagogue Adath Israel, Riverdale, NY Sisterhood of Oakland Little Neck Jewish Center, Little Neck, NY Sisterhood of Bet Torah, Mt. Kisco, NY Sisterhood of B’nai Shalom, West Orange, NJ Sisterhood of Congregation Tifereth Israel of Lower Bucks County, Bensalem, PA Women’s League of B’nai Torah, Boca Raton, FL Sisterhood of Beth Sholom, Elkins Park, PA Sisterhood of East Meadow Jewish Center, East Meadow, NY BQLI Region Florida Region, in honor of all of the women of Florida Region Garden State Region Mid-Atlantic Region Executive

Engage our body and spirit.

Engage with Jewish men from around the globe in camaraderie, education, leadership development and fun!

Women’s League for Conservative Judaism’s announces its new membership initiative

JOIN AS AN INDIVIDUAL! As a member, you can: connect with Jewish women of all ages and all walks of life gain a voice in local, regional, national, and international Jewish issues access Jewish educational materials and traditional (and not-so-traditional) resources

Join alone, join with your sister, join with a friend, and become part of our network of 75,000 women worldwide.

Go to www.wlcj.org to join or for additional information Annual membership: $36

www.cjvoices.org 43

Women’s League for Conservative Judaism

Balancing the Sacred and the Everyday The Women’s League Convention 2014 focused on the needs of sisterhoods and members, but it also celebrated a remarkable Shabbat.

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hey came for a Women’s League convention. They left having had the experience of a lifetime. No one knew how the first Women’s League summer convention, over a Shabbat, would go… almost 400 women found out that it would be a remarkable opportunity to learn together, daven together, and celebrate together. Even old hands at Women’s League conventions (some having come to 25 of them!) said they would not have missed it for anything.

The four days began with a Judaica fair, a business plenum, and an optimistic report on the state of the League from President Rita Wertlieb. Dinner honored former President Evelyn Auerbach in celebration of her 90th birthday, and the evening featured a touching tribute by Rabbi Gordon Tucker to Rabbi Neil Gilman, recently retired from the Jewish Theological Seminary. Tucker acknowledged the importance of his teacher’s work on theology, praising its accessibility. Tucker, who holds a Ph.D in philosophy and is rabbi at Temple Israel Center in White Plains, New York, then offered the keynote on the convention theme, Kodesh v’Chol: Balancing the Sacred with the Everyday. He spoke about the modern Jew’s often conflicted desire to discover the sacred in modern life and suggested that holiness is an acquired taste that can be achieved by internalizing the values that embody traditional Judaism.

Friday was dedicated to sisterhoods and making them successful, no matter the challenges they face. It was topped off with the

entirely new Speedfest, five sessions of 17 options to choose from for a 12-minute introduction chock full of information and resources.

It took a few minutes to catch on, but by the second time the whistles blew, the delegates were running to find their seats and hear from experienced Women’s League veterans.

After a few moments to catch our breath, we gathered to bid farewell to the outgoing officers and board, so ably led by Rita Wertlieb, and to install the 2014-2017 administration with Carol Simon as the new president. (You can read excerpts from Carol’s acceptance speech on page 42) Then there was Shabbat.

The beautiful voice and spirit of Cantor Ronit Wolff Hanan, music director of Congregation Beth Sholom, Teaneck, New Jersey, drew us into an extraordinar y Shabbat. Over the next 24 hours, voices were raised in prayer (with options to study with Dr. Rela Mintz Geffen or to engage in body/mind/ spiritual movement with Florida Region’s Sue Gurland) and there were various oppor tunities to study with the visiting scholars, including Scholar-in-Residence Rabbi Judith Hauptman.

A look at women's religious identity had been planned for Saturday afternoon, with Rabbis Debra Cantor of Congregation B’nai Tikvoh-Sholom, Bloomfield, Connecticut, and Diana Villa from the Schechter Institute in Jerusalem. Because of the mounting crisis in Israel, the two women, in a discussion moderated by Executive Director Sarrae Crane, spoke about their shared concerns for

44 CJ – Voices of conservative /masorti judaism Fall 2014

the country’s security and their shock at the events leading up to the fighting. Both were among the first women to be ordained by their respective seminaries, so they went on to discuss how women rabbis are received both inside Israel and out. While in North America women rabbis face far fewer obstacles than those in Israel, they both confront the same issues experienced by many professional women.

A highlight of the day was the pre-Havdalah discussion, moderated by Rabbi Cantor, with JTS Chancellor Dr. Arnold Eisen and Ziegler School of Rabbinic Studies Dean Rabbi Bradley Shavit Ar tson, who spoke passionately about how the movement’s

educational institutions continue to engage with modernity. In one light-hearted exchange, they both expressed amazement at their own adaptations of the communication technologies that have revolutionized access to learning and even created virtual communities. Their former students are engaging congregants in worship, study, and social activism in ways that would have been unimaginable even a decade ago. In one of the many comments that inspired applause, Chancellor Eisen, a renowned sociologist of contemporary Judaism, offered a passionate rejoinder to the recent Pew report’s findings about non-Orthodox Jewry: Conservative Judaism, while admittedly declining in membership, remains

Women’s League for Conservative Judaism has a history of providing top-notch training to its sisterhoods and members. Women’s League also offers single-topic in-service conference calls and webinars that offer practical, proven advice. Veteran volunteers and professional staff will help your sisterhood thrive administratively, programmatically and strategically.

2014/2015 SCHEDULE August 20, 2014 Top Tips for Sisterhood Presidents

PHOTOS BY: Johanna Resnick Rosen

September 17, 2014 Best of the Jewels in the Crown Award-Winning Programs

Top row: Carol Simon, Rabbi Bradley Shavit Artson, Rita Wertlieb; Janet Kirschner, Rabbi Gordon Tucker; Phyllis Goldberg; Incoming Executive Committee.

Middle row: Delegates enjoying convention; Garden State Region, Authors Rabbis Deborah Prinz and Sue Levi Elwell; Carol Simon, Chancellor Arnold Eisen, Rita Wertlieb Bottom: Randy Schwartz; Margie Miller, Rita Wertlieb; Women's League Presidents; Myles Simpson, Rita Wertlieb, Richard Skolnik; Evelyn Auerbach

vibrant and dynamic.

After honoring more than 100 sisterhoods with Jewels in the Crown Awards for outstanding programming, the final convention session on Sunday focused on bullying in the public sphere.

A panel of professionals involved in diverse aspects of the issue spoke movingly and quite personally. Peter Nelson, director of the New York office of Facing History and Ourselves, discussed the role of history and those who choose to do nothing; Rabbi Janet Perolman introduced Keshet, which focuses on advocacy for full inclusion for the Jewish GLBT community; and Naomi Taffet, a clinical social worker who specializes in treating victims of abuse, described the

extent of the problem and its harrowing impact. The panelists were asked by moderator Lisa Kogen, Women’s League Education Director, how those in the audience could combat bullying back in their communities. All agreed that the first step is the recognition of the role of language – once language has wounded, the scars endure, often for a lifetime.

All in all, the four days presented ample opportunity to enjoy both aspects of our lives, the sacred and the everyday, and to consider how to make the everyday sacred as often as possible.

Congratulations to Chair Margie Miller and Vice Chairs Phyllis Goldberg and Randy Schwartz, and their team.

October 23, 2014 Mishpachah: Chapters of a Women’s Heart November 20, 2014 The Three R’s of Membership: Recruit, Reclaim and Retain December 15, 2014 Social Media: Promoting sisterhood the new way!

January 22, 2015 Nominating Committee: Creating Realistic Board Structures February 24, 2015 Torah Fund: Teapots, Mathilde and Testimonials March 18, 2015 Spirituality and Personal Wellness April 20, 2015 Fundraising: The Ways to the Means May 18, 2015 Israel June 18, 2015 Building Your Team Sessions begin at 8:30 pm eastern time and are free-of-charge.

To register, go to www.wlcj.org

www.cjvoices.org 45

federation of jewish men’s clubs

The Future of Conservative Judaism The Federation of Jewish Men’s Clubs has a comprehensive action plan

by Myles Simpson, FJMC International President

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n his July 2012 article, “A Game Plan for Renewal: The Demise of National Movements and Their Rebirth,” Dr. Steven Windmueller, of the Jewish Institute of Religion at Hebrew Union College, reports the decline of many religious, political, fraternal, and social movements in North America.

Windmueller offers several reasons including increasing membership costs, multiple competing causes and interests, the replacement of traditional memberships with social networks, and the lesser interest and loyalty of younger adults to their parents’ institutions. He suggests that “an increasing secularization of American postmodern society” intensifies this trend for liberal religious groups, and cites as an example the substantial decline in membership of Conservative synagogues over the past decade.

When I read this article I was a short year away from beginning my term as FJMC president; it impacted my thinking and helped me formulate my vision for FJMC and the types of activities that we could pursue to accomplish that vision. For some time, I had been concerned about the decline of our movement and its ramifications for the future of Judaism in North America, but I had not realized that what was happening in Conservative Judaism was also a reflection of what was happening throughout our society. To an extent, this was a bit liberating.

The literature is filled with articles that attempt to describe the problems and defects in our movement that are supposed to be the root cause of declining synagogue affiliation. Now, it seems, that while there are many areas in our movement that can be improved, the fault is not exclusively internal. On the other hand, with such major social and cultural shifts occurring in virtually every area of life, what could we do to counter these global trends in order to revitalize Conservative Judaism?

46 CJ – Voices of conservative /masorti judaism Fall 2014

Over the next several months FJMC held several think tanks to identify or create new concepts that we could develop and provide to our men’s clubs and their communities in an attempt to turn the tide and attract men (especially younger men) and their families back to their synagogues. We developed some exciting preliminary ideas and began to develop them for implementation.

Then, in October 2013 the now infamous Pew Report was published. This was a wakeup call to refocus our attention onto the issues and challenges facing us, and to seek solutions. For me, the Pew Report reemphasized concerns about the future of Judaism in America, as well as the future of our movement.

It also reinforced the notion that the same social and cultural trends affecting many other organizations are impacting Conservative Judaism. More importantly, it provided the motivation for FJMC to work more aggressively on the concepts that we had begun to develop, and it suggested that we might be proceeding in the right direction.

We’ve now begun implementing an action plan designed to impact our movement positively while adding value to our clubs. The plan is based on three major elements: membership growth, innovative programming initiatives, and Keruv/ outreach to interfaith families.

Membership Growth Last year, FJMC experienced a small but significant growth in membership (5 percent), and the attendance at our last international convention in July 2013 was at an all-time high by more than 25 percent. We realized that if we could accomplish this at a time when synagogue membership was declining, there’s no reason that we couldn’t grow even more. So we launched a major membership campaign, which is still in progress, to grow the number of men who belong to each of our clubs, as well as to affiliate new clubs. Despite social and cultural trends, we believe that men will join and be active in their men’s club if they perceive that their clubs bring meaning to their lives – and this meaning usually derives from the strong relationships that are built within a men’s club. We think that this is the key to growth and retention, and it reflects the lessons that we learned from Dr. Ron Wolfson when he spoke about his latest book, Relational Judaism. Men (and women) are hungry for meaningful relationships, and if we can foster these in our clubs then certainly our clubs will grow.

We also know that new members add strength to existing clubs, and new clubs add strength to our regions. Further, as clubs get stronger their synagogues grow stronger. How? For many men, involvement in synagogue life is not a priority, but men’s clubs serve as gateways to enhanced participation. As a man sees the value of active participation in his club, he starts to see the value of volunteering more in his synagogue, attending

services, participating in mitzvah projects, taking adult education classes, etc. He sees that he can be a role model for his children, and he embraces that new role. Further, we are encouraging active club members to invite their friends, from within the synagogue or not, to programs, activities and events. As their friends begin to see the value of being a men’s club member, they begin to see the value of synagogue membership, as well.

Growth begets growth, and everyone wins – the club, the synagogue and certainly the new member.

Programming We’re developing six new programmatic initiatives that clubs can pursue with their clergy to further our mission of “involving Jewish men in Jewish life.” We know that a major obstacle to synagogue participation is the discomfort that many feel during services due to a lack of knowledge of the prayers, unfamiliarity with the services, and little or no ability to read Hebrew. To address these issues, we’re developing three types of services (in partnership with the Cantors Assembly) to provide a meaningful Shabbat morning experience and we’re revamping our highly successful Hebrew literacy program, as follows: Learner’s Service: six sessions about the basic structure, meaning and choreography of the Shabbat service Experiential Service: a weekly service that integrates discussion, study and prayer Meditation Service: an alternative spiritual experience Hebrew Literacy program: online training to teach basic Hebrew with an emphasis on the words used during Shabbat services Our fifth initiative provides guidelines and models for celebrating Shabbat at home on Friday evening. (Please see my article in last September’s CJ, “Shabbat has kept the Jews” for background on this initiative: www.cjvoices.org/article/shabbat-haskept-the-jews/.) This is an update to our popular The Shabbat Seder, which was published nearly 30 years ago.

Finally, we’re developing (also with the CA) “Creating a Minyan of Comfort,” a two-hour course and guidebook to teach men to lead a shiva minyan.

These initiatives will be piloted in selected synagogues across North America. Assuming that they meet their objectives they will be officially launched and modeled to our clubs at our convention next July in Miami.

Keruv As documented in the Pew Report, intermarriage is a fact of life. FJMC began working with interfaith couples and their families more than a dozen years ago in our pioneering Keruv (literally, “to draw near”) initiative. Our approach has been to provide continues on page 54

Laymen Teaching Laymen to Teach Laymen Dave Mandell

A

ccording to the American Society of Training and Development, US businesses spent more than $160 billion dollars on employee training and development in 2012 because organizations with effective leaders are able to achieve greater success.

Training has long been integral to the FJMC culture. From its early years the model of laymen teaching laymen has been used. For two generations, incoming regional presidents were instructed by our leadership on the nuts and bolts of leading a region.

From the mid-1980s through the late 1990s, FJMC training took several giant steps forward. While training continued in the nuts and bolts of running the organization, additional skills and techniques were developed and utilized, including skits, case studies and problem solving sessions.

Participants examined a topic from multiple perspectives and worked together on solutions.

Instead of a one- to two-day orientation session, regional presidents spent a weekend of training and interaction.

Another 1990’s innovation was preparing a corps of men

as consultants, armed with both information and skills so that they could provide support directly to regions and clubs.

FJMC’s spiritual advisor, Rabbi Joel S. Geffen (z”l), who retired in 1985 after 40 years, was appointed by the Jewish Theological Seminary to expand the influence of the seminary and to build future synagogue leadership. Under his guidance the relationship between FJMC and rabbis serving communities expanded. An endowment was created in his name, and in 1997, the Rabbi Joel S. Geffen Leadership Development Institute (LDI), was dedicated to training lay leaders.

The Geffen Leadership Development Institute assumed the annual training for FJMC leadership and regional presidents, so that they could guide the organization’s growth effectively. Innovations continued, and in addition to the lay leaders who were professional educators, who were now conducting much of the organization training, more men were brought in to learn how to train others. With slight variations each year, the essential aspects of the training have remained constant, where laymen continues on page 49

Dave Mandell served as the 2014 LDI Chair. He is a member of the FJMC Executive Committee and a past president of the New Jersey Region.

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fjmc

ON A MISSION TO FRANCE

The Federation of Jewish Men’s Clubs/Masorti mission met with Masorti Jews and explored the culture of Provence.

by Linda and Greg Gore

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wenty-five participants from the United States, led by FJMC President Myles Simpson and Rabbi Carl Wolkin of Congregation Beth Shalom, Northbrook, Illinois, had seven adventure-packed days last March on the FJMC/Masorti Olami Mission to Provence, France. The primary objectives of the mission were to build relationships with the Masorti congregations in the region, to learn about Jewish life in these communities and to offer support.

Shabbat was spent in Nice with the flourishing Maayane Or Congregation where Kabbalat Shabbat and Shabbat morning services, led by Rabbi David Touboul, were enhanced by the congregation’s beautiful singing. Synagogue President Franck Medioni hosted meals at the synagogue where we met Maayane Or’s congregants, and reconnected with Joanna Kubar, president of Masorti Europe, who had attended our past two international conventions. We enjoyed delicious Provencal Jewish dishes and wonderful Kosher French wines.

Greg Gore is a past president of the Seaboard Region and is currently an FJMC Keruv Consultant.

David Itkin of Congregation Or Chalom showing congregation’s Torah to Lillian Gray (David is one of the founders of the congregation).

We also visited Congregation Or Chalom, a newer Masorti congregation, in Aix-en-Provence. A small congregation led by President Robert Pariente, it holds services twice a month with the assistance of a professor from a local university whose expertise is Jewish studies and liturgy. After visiting its sanctuary and learning about Jewish life in Aix-enProvence, we dined with the synagogue members. FJMC leaders had a working lunch with the synagogue leadership to discuss how FJMC can assist in growing this community. The congregation, which has 12 students in its school, is reaching out to local non-Orthodox Jews with community dinners and holiday celebrations.

These two Masorti communities face similar issues. There is broad anti-Semitism, both from the native French population and from the more radical portions of the Moslem population. French culture and France’s socialist government do not promote volunteerism, so the lay leadership is limited. Clergy support is also an issue, especially at Or Chalom. Nonetheless, both congregations are growing and are satisfying a real need for non-Orthodox spiritual communities. They appreciated that we care about their success. We promised to stay in touch and to explore ways to support these communities.

We also visited several sights of historic

48 CJ – Voices of conservative /masorti judaism Fall 2014

Jewish interest. The synagogues in Cavaillon and Carpentras were built in the 14th century in the towns’ cramped Quartiers Juifs. When Jews returned to the area after the French revolution, they built elegant sanctuaries on the older buildings’ foundations. The synagogue in Carpentras is still used for worship today. The lower level, containing the original sanctuary, matzah bakery, and the mikveh, has been restored.

On a darker note, the group also visited Camp des Milles. During the Shoah, this former tile factory near Aix-en-Provence was used by the Vichy government as a transit point to the death camps. The factory, now a museum, preserves the internment areas, conducts studies about genocide, and promotes tolerance.

Jewish life and heritage were only part of the tour. The itinerary included visits to art museums, historic walled villages, including St. Paul de Vence, where Chagall worked and is buried, and Monaco.

While everyone enjoyed the fascinating, fun and educational aspects of our sight-seeing, we all came away feeling very enriched by the relationships that we built with our new friends in the Masorti communities, and are excited about continuing these relationships in the future. CJ

train other laymen. Dr. Stephen Davidoff, FJMC president from 1997–1999, and a career educator, went through the FJMC training during the mid-1980s, and recently remarked, “The organization’s evolution since that time has been significantly enhanced due to the innovations in training and development.”

Dr. Burton Fischman, who was a professor of communications at Bryant University, has served as the dean of the Geffen LDI for most of its existence. Referred to as “Captain Ruach” for his spirited leading of Birkat Hamazon, Fischman is known for his ability to identify strengths and weaknesses in a presentation, and share them in a way that encourages the recipient to want to improve. Fischman has personally prepared hundreds of FJMC men as leaders over the past 20 years.

Each LDI features experienced trainers training others in a variety of subjects, from best practices for administering regions to the seven habits of successful consultants. First-time attendees are paired with experienced consultants who assist them in making their presentations.

Regional officers have an opportunity to interact with FJMC leadership, maintaining the organization’s grass roots nature.

LDI has proved to be more successful than ever imagined. Norm Kurtz, who served as FJMC president from 2007 through 2009, has been involved in FJMC training for more than 20 years. He has described a vision in which the FJMC would educate future leaders in a retreat setting, to benefit both the FJMC and the Conservative movement. Over the past 30 years, the event has grown from a small group of incoming region presidents to hundreds of region presidents and officers, club and synagogue leaders, future leaders, and FJMC officers, so much of this vision has been realized. Those who attend participate in passionate prayer services, discuss critical issues, and learn from outstanding educators. Moreover, in this day when men are feeling isolated from other men, they develop meaningful connections with other men.

Planning for the annual Geffen LDI is a year round activity. The continuous process forces FJMC to constantly reevaluate what and how we do things to address the changing priorities of both the organization and the Conservative movement. CJ

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united synagogue

briefs Join Us at Convention 2015 From November 13 – 17, 2015, the global Conservative community will convene at the Renaissance Schaumburg Hotel, just outside Chicago, Illinois, for several days of celebration and learning. We will experience the very best of who we are as Conservative Jews and what we have the capacity to become. Make sure to join us, and to bring your questions, your ideas, and your desire to learn with some of the most innovative Jewish leaders in North America.

To get on the Convention Update list, send your name, email address, and congregation to info@uscj.org. Subject line: Convention 2015. You’ll be among the first to receive updates on what’s happening and information on early-bird pricing.

Program Trains New Synagogue Education Leaders In early July, 24 synagogue educators joined United Synagogue for four days of learning, reflection and conversation. They were education directors, rabbi-educators, cantor-educators, youth professionals, and early childhood educators. Their common concern? All were new to the job of running a congregational school or early childhood program and wanted to study with the United Synagogue learning team at its annual New Directors Institute.

NDI participants learned about the current state of kehilla education, both in religious schools and early childhood programs, as well as the role of the educational leader. They looked at the culture of their synagogues and schools, the various stakeholders they’d encounter, and how to partner with them in a powerful way. The group will now embark on a year of continued study together through conference calls and webinars that cover every area of educational leadership and best practices.

If your synagogue will be bringing in new educational leadership for its religious school or early childhood program, consider NDI as the best way for your director to hit the ground running. For more information, contact Susan Wyner, USCJ Director of Learning Enrichment at wyner@uscj.org, or Early Childhood Specialist Maxine Handelman at Handelman@uscj.org

Becoming the Synagogue You Want to Be Congregational leaders often have a vision of what their synagogues could be, but struggle to make that vision a reality. That’s why United Synagogue developed Sulam for Strategic Planners, a year-long training program that offers expert, sustained guidance in identifying communal goals – and practical strategies for meeting them.

Last fall, 10 kehillot became the first cohort to go through the program, created by USCJ’s leadership specialist, Bob Leventhal. By June, each had completed a detailed plan that will serve as a roadmap for the next few years. Leaders at Congregation Beth Shalom in Wilmington, Delaware, said the strategic planning process had engaged more than 100 congregants and “succeeded in building consensus for a vision of our future that is realistic and attainable.”

Eleven new congregations recently joined the second group of Sulam for Strategic Planners. Check your district’s weekly e-news to learn about ways your kehilla can get help in strategic planning and other areas. Don’t get the e-news? Send a note to info@uscj.org and we’ll be happy to sign you up.

50 CJ – Voices of conservative /masorti judaism Fall 2014

Are Dues Obsolete?

Over the last few years, several United Synagogue congregations have moved away from the traditional model of collecting dues. In June, Barry Mael, USCJ’s Director of Kehilla Operations and Finance, held a webinar on what’s called the “Sustaining Dues Model,” whereby a congregation determines how much it needs from each “member unit” to meet its annual budget. The congregation shares this number with members, who then decide if they can pay the sustaining amount, more than that or less. The webinar introduced leaders from three congregations, who discussed why and how they adopted the sustaining model. If you’d like to listen to a recording, send your name, email address, and congregation to info@uscj.org.

Subject line: Dues Webinar.

Building Commitment

by Building Relationships Rabbi Jacob Blumenthal says there are no shortcuts to building community. It takes one-on-one interaction, Shabbat dinners, opportunities for people to meet in small groups, and more. That’s why Rabbi Blumenthal and the leaders of Congregation Shaare Torah in Gaithersburg, Maryland, have participated twice in USCJ’s Sulam for Emerging Leaders. The intensive program uses Jewish text study, relationship building, and leadership training to transform a group of synagogue members into synagogue leaders. (Sulam is Hebrew for “ladder,” reflecting the various rungs in our leadership development series.)

Shaare Torah is one of 65 USCJ kehillot across the U.S. and Canada to participate in SEL since it began three years ago. At a congregation, the SEL group comprises about 10 people who are viewed as potential leaders, as well as a rabbi and lay leader who serve as trainers. The rabbi and lay leader take part in a day-long training with USCJ specialists and participate in regular webinars so that they’re comfortable using the SEL curriculum.

At Shaare Torah, the program has resulted in several new leaders for the synagogue’s board and committees, and it’s led to strong friendships among numerous families and a deeper connection to the kehilla. By running the program a few more times, Rabbi Blumenthal hopes to have at least 50 new families who feel connected and committed to his congregation.

“I as a rabbi would never have time to create this kind of curriculum,” he says of the Sulam program.

“With SEL, it’s done, and all I need to do is sit with my layperson and think about how to implement it.”

So far, SEL has cultivated about 750 new and potential synagogue leaders, people with a deeper connection to their congregations and a deeper commitment to and understanding of Conservative Judaism.

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united synagogue

An Israel Bond

Congregations use grants to create innovative programs connecting their communities to the Jewish State

By Deborah Fineblum

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n Saskatoon, Canada, they brought together young adults for an evening celebrating Israeli pop culture. In Highland Park, Illinois, they hosted an Israeli birthday party complete with movies, dance, a sing-along, and a falafel stand. In New Rochelle, New York, they created an Israel Technology Fair and were briefed by a Technion professor on the latest gee-whiz inventions from the country’s booming tech sector. In Holliston, Massachusetts, they built friendships between their teens and those in Haifa through the magic of Skype meet-ups.

In Clark, New Jersey, they gathered college kids returning from Israel who shared their adventures and photos. And in San Diego, California, they helped send eight newlywed couples on an unforgettable trip to Israel.

Each of these projects, and more than 40 others across North America, is unique, designed by a synagogue for the express purpose of building a bridge connecting its community to the Jewish homeland. But as diverse as they are, all were made possible by a powerful partnership between the United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism (USCJ) and the organization Nefesh B’Nefesh.

The mission of Nefesh B’Nefesh, which has brought close to 40,000 people to new homes in Israel since 2002, includes making the dream of living in Israel a

Congregation Kol Emeth in Palo Alto, California, used a Ma'alot grant to have members record their Israel experiences.

reality as well as “educating and inspiring the Jews of the Diaspora as to the centrality of the Jewish State…and sending an unmistakable signal of AngloIsraeli Jewish solidarity.” So five years ago, when Rabbi Paul Freedman, Director of Israel Strategic Partnerships for USCJ, approached Nefesh B’Nefesh with the idea of creating a program to boost Conservative Jews’ awareness of, and involvement with, Israel, NBN leaders saw it as a wonderful investment in this crucial bond.

The result is a program called Ma’alot, through which Nefesh B’Nefesh has so far awarded grants totaling $250,000 to United Synagogue congregations for innovative projects that connect North American Jews to Israel. The awards committee selects applicants whose proposals it believes will have the most impact on their communities.

“It seemed like a great way of getting Israel into the congregations and the congregations into Israel,” says Rabbi Freedman. “And the only way it was possible was with the support Nefesh B’Nefesh was willing to give.”

Now in its fourth year, Ma’alot: Taking Steps Toward Raising Israel Awareness,

52 CJ – Voices of conservative /masorti judaism Fall 2014

has awarded grants to over 150 congregations across North America, from Saskatoon, Canada, to Miami, and from Long Island to Los Angeles. The USCJ, through Rabbi Freedman (whom everyone knows as Rabbi Paul), is tasked with the administration, including applications, selection and evaluation, with support stateside from Ari Schuchman, who directs Nefesh B’Nefesh’s North American operations.

“Since not everyone can come to Israel, with Ma’a lot, we bring Israel to them,” says Schuchman. “And the more engaged with Israel they are, the more of them will come and see it, understand what their family and friends see in it and eventually be able to see themselves there, too.”

Word has also spread that Ma’alot is a program that can help transform a congregation’s relationship with Israel, and the applicant process for 2014-2015 attracted more than 40 proposals. At least 10 of them will receive $2,500 microgrants from Nefesh B’Nefesh, and two will receive a matching grant with the congregation (or as is sometimes the case, several synagogues in a community) raising $10,000 and Nefesh B’Nefesh matching it with $7,000.

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eople in Lower Marion, Pennsylvania, are still talking about the week last spring when Israeli troubadour and Jewish educator Yehudah Katz came to town. Katz shared his music and passion for Israel with four area synagogues, a day school and the entire community at a public concert, reaching more than 500 people in five days.

“He communicated to everyone Israel as a place that’s open and home to all Jews,” says Rabbi Neil Cooper of Temple Beth Hillel-Beth El in Wynnewood. “He was inspirational; in both his music and his teaching, the message came across. He brought the community together with the idea that, no matter what, the one thing we don’t doubt is our love for and connection with Israel.”

At Temple Beth Sholom in Roslyn Heights, New York, a Ma’alot grant allowed them to target a group they saw as especially needing to hear this message: college-bound teens. So they arranged for Queens College Jewish Studies Professor Mark Rosenblum to present five intensive “Let’s Talk About Israel: Informed Engagement” seminars, preparing students for what they may hear on college campuses, how to refute distorted statements and where to look for support.

“Our idea was to give the students from our congregation and the entire community the skills to withstand the pressure they are likely to encounter on campus in a year or two,” said Beth Sholom’s Director of Lifelong Learning Gila Hadani Ward. “This is especially challenging when anti-Israel comments come from a professor whom they’re used to thinking of as an authority figure. They have to ask themselves who—and what—they can believe.” One positive outcome: The juniors in the program who were shopping for colleges told Ward that they now keep an eye open for evidence of anti-Israel propaganda during their campus tours.

I

of Southern Israel in a creative multi-year program that’s embraced storytelling, photography, recordings of congregants’ Israel experiences, and most recently, art projects that span the miles. “We began with the need to discover why Israel is so important in our lives,” says Israel Action Committee Chair Barbara Schapira. Sharing stories led to a photo contest and a

mosaic of the Kotel made up of congregants’ photos that remain on display in the shul.

By the third year, the congregation heard that the Arava region of Israel desperately needed a medical facility. Kol Emeth surpassed its $50,000 goal by $10,000, which is how the love affair with that region continues on page 55

n Palo Alto, California, Congregation Kol Emeth has been forging a relationship with the Arava region

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NECESSARY EVIL continued from page 13

smiling, engaged students and parents excited to make Mercaz Aliyah the center of their Jewish lives and learning.

It turns out that religious school parents are indeed interested in their children’s Jewish education. All we had to do was ask them what they wanted.

It also turns out that we ourselves knew how to do a better job of engaging our kids. We just needed the courage to ask some tough questions and to follow the answers wherever they led us. CJ

KOUFAX MIDRASH continued from page 28

U

nfortunately, both Rabbi Raskas and the former ritual director of Temple of Aaron, Harry Gottesman, have passed away.

When Gottesman’s family walked into my office for Harry’s pre-funeral meeting, his son stared at my Jewish sports memorabilia and said, “Rabbi, my father took Sandy Koufax to his seat on Yom Kippur.”

I want to believe this story. I want to in my heart. So I did some more searching.

It seems that like many stories passed down to generations, this story, too, has a subtext, a midrash within a midrash.

Everyone mentioned that Koufax had a driver to and from the St. Paul Hotel.

When I reached out to the driver, he told me, “As much as I would have liked to have chauffeured Sandy Koufax, I didn’t do it.” While everyone claims this man drove him, and that the ritual director escorted him to his seat, and that the rabbi made eye contact with him, no one else claims to have interacted with him. Although in all fairness to the synagogue, Koufax has always been a very private person and would not have made a big deal about a simple appearance in the pews.

Still, to this day, Sandy Koufax has never made a statement about his whereabouts on Yom Kippur in 1965.

Until Koufax does, I am not sure this synagogue will ever have a firm answer.

In the meantime, I believe this story can be labeled “Modern Midrash.” It’s a story within the story. It is a story that has been told to generations of children who have gone through the Temple of Aaron Religious School and in Hebrew schools throughout the country, a story passed down from generation to generation, so much so that it has become fact within Temple of Aaron’s history. Koufax’s silence about his whereabouts has enabled a living midrash. There is something extremely exciting about living inside one of the great Jewish stories of the last 100 years, a story my community has held dear. Although if Koufax ever wants to call me and talk I would be more than happy to listen. CJ

judgment day continued from page 27

9

We are not strangers to God. In the courtroom, all of the people present know the record of the defendant. The lawyers, the police officers, the record keepers all are privy to the history of the person on trial. Unlike the High Holiday experience, at court the judge is the only person who doesn’t know the defendant. As she told us, “They are all strangers to me.” Not so with God. God knows all of our actions and all of our motivations. Judaism believes that we are judged according to our behavior, yet God still knows what is in our hearts.

10

We have to show up. The most difficult thing to witness in court was a man being handcuffed because he had failed to show up for his scheduled court appearance. He appeared after the time for his trial had passed saying that he had had to arrange childcare for his daughter. But no matter the excuse or even his eventual arrival, he was held responsible for not showing up. It seemed tragic, but it made us think that whether we feel guilty or not, whether we feel that what we read in the Mahzor applies to us or not, at this time of year many Jews feel a need to at least show up. As difficult as it is, we come to be

54 CJ – Voices of conservative /masorti judaism Fall 2014

judged, and to take part in the awe inspiring courtroom experience of the Jewish people for one more year. CJ

college tour continued from page 31

a community of fellow students to share the day with. Though she did apply to that school, she did not consider it seriously.

Every college has its own culture. While each student’s experience is unique and everyone is free to do as he or she chooses, the culture of a place has an influence, for positive or negative, encouraging some things, rewarding others. If you are interested in going on Birthright, check that the college’s Hillel has a large and active Birthright and post-Birthright program.

If you regularly attend Shabbat morning services and there is no place to do so, that campus might not be the right place for you.

In the end, choosing a college is about finding a community. We had the best experiences at the colleges where we ate lunch at the Hillel and sat and talked with the students, and got a sense of what they like about their schools and why they chose them. My advice is to think about what you are looking for in your community and whether that exists or could be created in your time on campus.

For me, as a parent, the college tour is really about how I can help my child decide what comes next. I hope my daughter will continue to deepen all the aspects of her Jewish identity while becoming a young adult. Just as Judaism has helped us along at other life stages, it was comforting to know that though I will be far, my daughter’s Jewish interests and commitments will help her connect with others in her new community. CJ

the future of conservative judaism continued from page 47

guidance and information to synagogues promoting the welcoming of interfaith families, with the goal of encouraging

the raising of Jewish children. We have trained several dozen Keruv consultants who are engaged with the clergy and leadership in their synagogues and in neighboring communities to implement Keruv programming, and we’ve conducted think tanks with over 150 pulpit rabbis to delve into the various issues associated with interfaith families and to sensitize them to the needs of these families. This initiative continues to grow. As the rate of intermarriage increases, there is a growing opportunity to draw additional families nearer to Judaism, and specifically into Conservative synagogues.

We’re hopeful that this action plan will help to strengthen Conservative Judaism, and we’re optimistic that the future of our movement is bright! CJ

an israel bond continued from page 53

began. Now several congregants have added the Arava to their Israel tours.

“What we learned is that tzedaka is so much more than giving money,” says Schapira. “It also means getting to know the people and the region and building relationships. Ma’alot challenged us to think outside the box, about what Israel means to us.” Like many Conservative Jews, Schapira also has a very personal connection to Israel: her son Michael made aliyah 10 years ago.

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his spring, as the fourth year of Ma’alot projects wraps up, there is a shared sense of pride in the program’s growing track record of engagement with the Jewish homeland.

“The enormous success of the Nefesh B’Nefesh-USCJ Israel Committee Partnership’s Ma’alot program proves how integral Israel and Aliyah awareness is among members of the Conservative movement,” says Tony Gelbart, co-founder and chairman of Nefesh B’Nefesh. “We are honored to continue partnering with United Synagogue on this exciting program and helping raise the profile of Israel and aliyah among Conservative Jews.”CJ

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the last word

Why I Oppose Cremation

By Adam J. Raskin

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ot long ago I was cruising in a golf cart personnel. We bury our own close loved ones and dear friends. across the grounds of a newly developed Jewish Each Jew, upon attending a funeral, has a mitzvah to take up cemetery where my congregation was contemthe shovel and place earth on that burial site. To accompany plating purchasing a section. The cemetery administrator a loved one to the grave site, to bear their coffin, to lower it pointed out an area where cremation remains are interred to its final resting place, to place earth on the grave, to recite in a specially designed receptacle. The ashes or “cremains” memorial prayers in the presence of family, friends, and comare placed into a tube, which is inserted into a crevice carved munity - all of this is critical to coming to terms with the finalout in the middle of a small boulder. I was astonished to ity of death, and the beginning of the mourning process. A see a whole swath of this new Jewish cemetery that was cremation is a detached procedure, accomplished without Adam J. Raskin dotted with these “memorial rocks,” complete with engraved any of the kavod, honor, to the body, or the participation of is senior rabbi plaques and markers. the family or community. It also deprives mourners of all of Congregation Har Notwithstanding the gut-wrenching fact that the Nazis’ these powerful, therapeutic rituals.

Shalom in Potomac, preferred method for disposing of Jewish bodies was reducOn many occasions I have witnessed people meandering Maryland. ing them to billowing ash in crematoria, Jews – like the genthrough the rows of the cemetery…often stopping to gaze at a eral population – are electing to be cremated in higher numbers than headstone, to pause in quiet reflection, or to connect with the memory ever before. of someone they once knew who now rests there. I watch and witness Jewish law unequivocally prohibits cremation. One of the first the power of cemeteries to conjure memories, to trigger thoughts of recorded acts of the very first Jew was the burial of his beloved wife. the deceased, and to generate a sense of peace. A touching Midrash Genesis Chapter 23 describes the painstaking efforts that Abraham (Babylonian Talmud, Sotah 34b) imagines that Caleb peeled off from undertook to provide Sarah with an honorable burial. Moreover, the the rest of the spies and made a detour to Hevron before returning from human body is considered holy, both in death as in life. Anyone who his expedition in the land of Israel. According to the Sages, Caleb went has taken part in a tahara – the sacred preparation of a Jewish body for to pray and find solace at the burial place of our holy ancestors, Abraburial – can attest to the gentleness, dignity and great care with which ham, Isaac, Jacob, Sarah, Rebecca, and Leah. Caleb found the strength the body is treated as it is cleansed, dressed in shrouds and placed into to stand up to the negative reports of the 10 spies because of that pila simple wooden coffin. grimage to the Cave of the Patriarchs and Matriarchs.

Rather than detailing the long history of Jewish burial, or the variMany people today speak imaginatively of their ashes being scatous halachic reasons why cremation is prohibited, I want to instead tered across the sea, or on their favorite golf course, or in several differshare why I am so personally opposed to cremation. This sensibility ent desired places. While it may appeal to some, the effect is to deprive comes from over a decade of rabbinic work, helping people to bring survivors of a physical place to return, to remember, to heal, and to their loved ones to a place of final rest and begin to cope with the pain make connections with their ancestors’ legacies. of loss. In so many circumstances, when a relative has requested to be Jewish law teaches that one must violate the wishes of a relative who cremated the survivors are deeply conflicted about carrying out their requests to be cremated. In reality, however, few children are willing to wishes. Family members often express to me how they wish their loved ignore the dictates of parents or other relatives. Those contemplating one would have chosen burial instead; how they wish they didn’t have cremation should give serious thought to its implications for surviving to carry out that person’s final request. Cremation exacerbates the pain loved ones. If your family members express misgivings about cremaof loss by thrusting upon survivors the responsibility of fulfilling some- tion, how will it exacerbate their grief to feel obligated to carry out such thing with which they feel viscerally uncomfortable. Compounding the a request? If they would benefit from the comforting rituals of a tradigrief and confusion of surviving loved ones seems to be utterly con- tional Jewish burial, how will it hamper their healing to be deprived of trary to the spirit of Jewish mourning customs, and presumably never them? If they wish to have a place in the world to return to, where they something one would want to inflict on relatives. can remember you, what will it mean for them not to? Consider these Furthermore, burial in the ground is an important component in the issues, all in a post-Holocaust era, and perhaps our Jewish insistence grieving process. We Jews do not relegate burial to anonymous cemetery on burial might make a bit more sense. CJ

56 CJ – Voices of conservative /masorti judaism Fall 2014

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