CJ Spring 2014 Issue by CJ Voices

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Voices of Conservative/Masorti Judaism SPRING 2014/5774 Volume 7 / No. 3

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mixed blessings

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Faced with rising rates of intermarriage, Conservative leaders are searching for new ways to keep interfaith families in the fold. The question is, what exactly should they do?

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freedom e r u t l cu nion o

u n a derstanding t a r r c r o a gamy iage dition cept uw n ch a a t e n r c t e o u i elco i n u i nclusion t t me y trus e

& the siddur express // too long a wait // what freedom? Re-dreaming jerusalem // when hate kills

Editors Andrea Glick Rhonda Jacobs Kahn Advertising Director Erica Singer art director Elizabeth Hovav book editor Beth Kissileff Publishing Consultant Siegel Marketing Group Editorial Board Renee Brezniak Glazier, Chair Michael Brassloff Michael Freilich Rosalind Judd Faye Laveson Dr. Bruce Littman Rachel Pomerance Elizabeth Pressman Marjorie Shuman Saulson Lois Silverman Advisors Dr. Stephen Garfinkel Jewish Theological Seminary Rabbi Cheryl Peretz Ziegler School of Rabbinic Studies CJ: Voices of Conservative/Masorti Judaism is a joint project of Federation of Jewish Men’s Clubs Myles Simpson, President Rabbi Charles E. Simon, Executive Director United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism Richard Skolnik, President Rabbi Steven C. Wernick, CEO Women’s League for Conservative Judaism Rita L. Wertlieb, President Sarrae G. Crane, Executive Director The opinions expressed in this magazine are those of the authors and do not necessarily represent the views of the publishing organizations. Advertising in CJ does not imply editorial endorsement, nor does the magazine guarantee the kashrut of advertised products. Members of FJMC, United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism congregations, and Women’s League for Conservative Judaism receive the magazine as a benefit of membership. Subscriptions are $20 per year. Please direct all correspondence or changes of address to CJ: Voices of Conservative/Masorti Judaism at Rapaport House, 820 Second Ave., 10th Floor, New York, NY 10017-4504. 201.766.8471 Email: aglick@uscj.org or rkahn@wlcj.org. To advertise, email singer@uscj.org. CJ: Voices of Conservative/Masorti Judaism is published three times a year by United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism, 820 Second Ave., 10th Floor, New York, NY 10017-4504. Canadian Copies: Return Canadian undeliverables to 2835 Kew Dr., Windsor, ON N8T 3B7 PM 41706013.

CJ ,ukue

spring 2014/5774 Volume 7 / No. 3 www.cjvoices.org

This magazine is a joint project of the United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism, Women’s League for Conservative Judaism and the Federation of Jewish Men’s Clubs.

contents

in every issue Editors’ Note 5 Letters 6 CJ Shorts 7 Q&A with Rabbi Abby Jacobson 10 The Last Word The Minyan Maker BY SAUL GOLUBCOW 56

features Mixed Blessings

Conservative leaders look to keep interfaith families in the fold. BY MICHAEL SCHULSON

The Conversion Option

Too Long a Wait

A Jew by choice questions the process of conversion. BY DARCY R. FRYER

Raising Ruth's Daughters

Even after converting, Jews by choice in Israel (and their children) face issues of acceptance and identity. BY JESSICA FISHMAN

profile Re-Dreaming Jerusalem

Rabbi Tamar Elad-Appelbaum brings an unorthodox vision to her work as a community builder in Jerusalem. BY BETH KISSILEFF

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Visit us online for extra photo galleries, videos and exclusive bonus features, including: Dear Mr. Herzl Students and their teachers take on the roles of Jewish historical figures in a new online game. BY MEREDITH KATZ

on the cover Photo: Howard Sokol for the Getty Images Design: Elizabeth Hovav

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contents spring 2014/5774 Volume 7 / No. 3

departments

KEHILLA The Siddur Express

A modern day miracle brings siddurim where they are much needed in Africa. BY RABBI SARAH NEWMARK

Old and Not in the Way

A synagogue brings its services to its elderly. BY RABBI TZIONA SZAJMAN

THE JEWISH YEAR What Freedom? 28 The Passover seder marks more than our liberation from slavery. BY RABBI JUDAH KOGEN

Rice and Beans and Corn, Oh My! 30 The power of tradition has a lot to do with why some Jews don't eat kitniyot on Passover. BY RABBI PAUL PLOTKIN

Women's League For Conservative Judaism It's Time to Move Forward

BY RITA L. WERTLIEB

ARTS When Hate Kills 36

Don't Leave Anyone Behind 47

In a breakout production of The Laramie Project, Solomon Schechter students confront anti-gay violence. BY GILA DRAZEN

Balancing The Sacred And The Everyday

The Bookshelf

Federation Of Jewish Men's Clubs Technology and the Synagogue 50

A new look at a new issue. BY RABBI CHARLES SIMON

Rabbi Bradley Shavit Artson's latest book invites us to rethink what we know about God. BY RABBI ELIANNA YOLKUT

OUR ORGANIZATIONS United Synagogue Of Conservative Judaism USCJ Briefs

No Devil in These Details 44 BY RABBI STEVEN WERNICK

Women's League Convention 2014

By Beth Kissileff

Something to Believe In

BY RABBI LILLY KAUFMAN

Programming That Makes a Difference

FJMC has a vast resource of successful programming ideas. BY MARTIN MELNICK

Hearing Men's Voices Halted by Order of the Police!

A synagogue men's group is surprised by a visit from the local police department. BY AARON GINSBURG

CJ Online (www.cjvoices.org) is looking for bloggers! Interested? E-mail aglick@uscj.org and rkahn@wlcj.org

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editors’ note

They Walk the Line

onservative rabbis must walk a fine line on intermarriage. They want very much to encourage Jews to marry other Jews, and unlike their Reform counterparts they cannot officiate at an interfaith wedding. But if a young person they know does marry outside the faith, or an interfaith couple joins their synagogue, the rabbis want to do everything they can, within the bounds of Jewish law, to welcome them, encourage them to build a Jewish family and if possible, inspire the non-Jewish partner to convert. Think about it, though. On the one hand, the message is, “Marry someone Jewish,” On the other hand it’s, “But if you do marry a non-Jew, we want to welcome you and encourage you to raise a Jewish family.” In Michael Schulson’s article “Mixed Blessings,” we hear the voices of Conservative leaders wrestling with the issue. And they are wrestling, because to no one’s surprise, the number of Jews who marry outside the religion continues to rise, leading to a renewed push among Conservative rabbis to find new ways to keep interfaith families in the Jewish fold. It’s heartening to see rabbis willing to embrace this struggle. Because that’s exactly what they’re supposed to do – help the Jewish people stay connected to Torah and the Jewish way, while not sticking their heads in the sand about what’s really going on amongst amcha, we everyday Jews outside the academies and the ranks of the spiritual elite. So keep going, rabbis. We need you to help us figure this out, to walk that fine line of recognizing the realities – and benefits – of the modern world while helping us, our children and grandchildren lead committed Jewish lives.

Andrea Glick, Editor

Rhonda Jacobs Kahn, Editor

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Letters her kippah, herself I feel the same way as Gila Drazen about wearing a kippah (“The Last Word,” Winter 2013-2014). I get comments and questions, but not nearly as often as I would if I were a woman. Interestingly, just this week I found myself fielding questions in the frozen foods aisle at the local grocery store about my 5-year-old daughter’s kippah wearing. She prefers to leave her kippah on after school… even if we stop somewhere on the way home. I hope she feels as empowered and passionate about her Judaism as Gila as she grows up. Sean Herstein Encino, California

More On Women and Kippot Kudos to Gila Drazen for her humorous style of writing and for her way of handling folks who are either too ignorant or too insensitive to refrain from making critical remarks about her wearing a kippah. I found her healthy sense of self in living up to her religious beliefs refreshing and a pleasure to read. The one thing in Gila's article that I question, however, is her viewing the service provided by indentured servants in Rome as comparable, or even equivalent, to the service provided to God by believers. (This equivalence comment was made in connection with both groups covering their heads.) While one might hope that the Roman servants were well treated, there is no similarity in the relationship between those servants and the humans whom they served, on the one hand, and the relationship between religious believers and God, on the other. Actually, Gila, you don't need to furnish comparable situations in the secular world to get folks to understand. You have the right to be who you are and to believe as you do; you owe nobody any explanations. Ingeborg Oppenheimer Yonkers, New York

DAILY TALMUD LEARNING In CJ Shorts (Winter 2013-2014), you mention the new Daf Shevui Daily Learning project, and suggested synagogue groups sign up. I would like to add that the best feature of this project is that you can sign up as an individual and study with individuals from all over with personal give and take. I have always loved Jewish learning. I study in Talmud classes in my community. I like the give and take of Talmud study, with participation and questioning by fellow students. So, when I heard about the launching of the Mishnah Yomit long distance Talmud study, I immediately signed up. At first I was a bit skeptical that there could be give and take and questioning of text via the internet, but it worked fine. I love to ask questions, many questions, and so did other participants. Submitting a question about something we

were learning so every student, all over the world could see and reply, and then have the brilliant input and answers of Dr. Joshua Kulp, worked really well. Dr. Kulp is a great teacher who gives explanations relevant and understandable to Conservative Jews. I got to know who in the group would ask what type of questions. At one point Mishnah Yomit asked where people lived and we really lived all over; and this is wonderful. I looked forward to receiving the daily Mishnah Yomit email every morning in my inbox. And now, I look forward to seeing the daily Daf Shevui. Thank you, United Synagogue, for providing this free online Talmud study. Susan Marx Orange, New Jersey

FROM THE CJ BLOGS {read more at cjvoices.org} Rabbi Nicole Guzik, “Choose Jewish” Adults who convert to Judaism travel a spiritual journey that involves an embrace of thousands of years of tradition. They choose Jewish. So why the envy? I wish there were moments in the lives of those born Jewish – asking us, challenging us, pushing us – to choose Judaism again. Moments that shake us up remind us that our Judaism should not be taken for granted. … We are on this journey together. Let us learn from our brothers and sisters by adding our willing hearts and hands to the eternal continues on page 54

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cj shorts arthur szyk

Image courtesy of contemporary jewish museum Below: Four Sons

and the Art of the Haggadah While thousands of haggadot have been created over the centuries, an exhibition at the Contemporary Jewish Museum in San Francisco highlights the unique haggadah created by Arthur Szyk in 1940. Szyk (1894–1951), a Polish Jew keenly aware of current events, fused his passions for art and history into a visual commentary on the parallel between the Passover narrative and the alarming developments unfolding in Nazi Germany. The exhibition includes all 48 original illustrations of Szyk’s masterpiece. Historical illuminated haggadot from the 18th and 19th centuries, as well as contemporary versions, are also featured at the museum through June 29, 2014. See more illustrations at www.cjvoices.org

exhibit

Camp Ramah in the Palm of Your Hand

fellows in the Ramah Service Corps, a group of talented Ramah staff alumni working as teachers and youth leaders in synagogues and schools across the U.S. and Think of it as Ramah at your Canada. The goal of the felfingertips. That’s the idea lows is to run dynamic, b e h i n d t h e n e w m o b i l e camp-style programming app called Ramah365. The that will engage families and app is a new tool used by children and recruit some

new campers to the Ramah experience. The Ramah365 app offers educational games called “missions.” In Toronto, for instance, children and families used the app to learn about different kinds of mitzvot and upload photos of themselves performing them. And in another popular mission used at multiple

service corps sites, families go on a scavenger hunt at the zoo, earning points for snapping photos of snakes, to recall the Adam and Eve story, pairs of animals, to recall the story of Noah, and, after they learn the laws of kashrut, any animals they see that are kosher.

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cj shorts INTERACTIVE TORAH

Unscrolled

What happens when you give a diverse group of 54 Jewish writers and artists a chance to grapple with the first five books of the Torah? The answer is found in Unscrolled, a series of stories, poems, memoirs, plays, graphic novels, and more that offer a startlingly fresh take on the Torah, its value, and its place in our lives. Unscrolled is both a book edited by Roger Bennet and an ongoing interactive project (www.unscrolled.org) that invites everyone to engage with Torah through simple activities like tweeting about the week’s parashah (#torahin140) or more ambitious undertakings like holding an event in your community using the Unscrolled toolkit. It’s all a project of the ever-creative folks at Reboot, a network of young Jews that has brought us innovative approaches to Jewish life such as the National Day of Unplugging and the architectural contest Sukkah City. Amichai Lau-Lavie, founder of Storahtelling and an Unscrolled contributor, explains of the project, “This might be God’s word, this might be a human text. It’s sacred nevertheless. But we’ve got the permission and the privilege and the responsibility to make it our own.”

Inclusion for All Hineinu is an innovative new collaboration of

disability professionals from the Conservative, Orthodox, Reconstructionist, and Reform movements who will share resources with the hope of increasing inclusion in our synagogues for people of all abilities. The first year will highlight best practices already occurring in many communities. In addition to convening community leaders, Hineinu will share resources, connect lay leaders and disability professionals, and foster synagogue-based inclusion committees. With adaptations for its specific practices, each movement has made a new resource available. For more information, go to www.rabbinicalassembly.org

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Birthright Trip for Those on Previous Programs

There’s exciting news for those who were previously ineligible to go on a free Taglit-Birthright trip to Israel. Now, even if you’ve already participated in an educational program in Israel before age 18 – USY Israel Pilgrimage, Ramah Seminar, day school trips, or something similar – you may still be eligible for Birthright if you are 18 – 26. Shutafim, a partnership of Conservative youth organizations, has been working closely with Birthright Israel and The Israel Experience to offer USY, Ramah, Schechter, JTS alumni and their friends the opportunity to travel to Israel – for free – with a community of peers from other Conservative programs. (You are not eligible if you spent more than three months on a high school program in Israel or a gap year post high school.) If you or someone you know is interested, find out more at www.freejourneytoisrael. org/conservativeshutafim

Israel Studies for JTS Students

Starting this fall, graduate students at the Jewish Theological Seminary will have the chance to immerse themselves in the history, literature, culture and politics of Israel, thanks to a new partnership between JTS and Ben-Gurion University of the Negev. Students in the JTS Graduate School who pursue this option will spend a semester at the Ben-Gurion Research Institute for the Study of Israel and Zionism in Sde Boker. They will take courses in Israel Studies, a growing subfield of Jewish Studies, while actively participating in Israeli culture and society through trips and community service. They’ll also have a chance to do research in the renowned David Ben-Gurion Archives. For more information, go to www.jtsa.org and click on the Graduate School page.

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q& a

When Small Is Just Right INTERVIEW BY andrea glick

Abby Jacobson was raised on a cattle farm in Central Florida where there was one synagogue within a 50 to 60 mile radius. “And not just one Conservative synagogue,” adds Jacobson, “one synagogue, period.” But Jacobson loved being part of a small Jewish community, and it clearly had an impact. She went to Jerusalem to study at the Conservative Yeshiva and then on to the Jewish Theological Seminary for her rabbinical degree. After graduating in 2009, she became the spiritual leader of the 175-family Emanuel Synagogue in Oklahoma City. Here she explains why her small community is such a great place to be a rabbi.

CJ:How many Jews are there in Oklahoma? AJ: There are about 6,000 Jews in Oklahoma, with about 3,000 in the greater Oklahoma City area. In Oklahoma City there’s a Conservative synagogue, a Reform synagogue, a Chabad, a Hillel, and a Jewish federation. Then there are about 2,500 Jews in the Tulsa area and others scattered elsewhere. There are seven synagogues in Oklahoma, and six have rabbis. I’m the first female rabbi in the state. CJ: Were you hesitant about working at a small congregation in an area without many Jews? AJ: Not a bit. I was one of the few people in rabbinical school who knew exactly what I wanted and never changed my mind – a small congregation in the south or the southwest outside a major Jewish metropolitan area. CJ: Why? AJ: When I went to the Conservative Yeshiva and then to rabbinical school in New York, I got to experience Judaism where there are big Jewish populations. I appreciated that, but in a smaller community with fewer Jewish institutions people feel more pulled to join because the pull to assimilate without it is so much greater. In New York, there’s a synagogue for every niche, and if you don’t like one shul you can always go somewhere else. But I missed that drive to feel like a member of a shul where I was building something that wasn’t about being the exact thing that I wanted, but about piecing together something that all of us wanted.

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A young rabbi finds much to love in her Oklahoma City community. CJ: What’s your job like day-to-day? AJ: I get to do things I would never do if I were one of 16 Conservative rabbis within a three-hour drive. I certify a bagel place for kashrut. I’m a prison chaplain. I teach in the religious school – and it’s not just meeting with the pre-b’nai mitzvah kids, I’m actually one of the teachers. I do weddings, funerals, b’nai mitzvah, babies, counseling, interfaith work – all of it. There’s always a new challenge and everything I do is so necessary. CJ:How would you describe your synagogue? AJ: What I hear from people is that the congregation is very haimish and welcoming. I’d also describe us as liturgically traditional but socially progressive. There’s a respect for pluralism but at the same time people are more interested in learning what they’re supposed to be doing and on making sure things are done right. CJ: Why is that? AJ: I think it’s a feeling that they don’t want to miss out on anything because they don’t have the Jewish critical mass of a New York or Chicago or St. Louis. For instance, we have a mikvah on premises, and we’ve had a continuously running

morning minyan for close to 100 years. In fact we have the only morning minyan in the state.

“

People who see my kippah in the grocery store are more likely to tell me that they love Jews than anything else.

CJ: What’s your relationship with the evangelical Christian community? AJ: Sixty-five percent of Oklahoma is made up evangelical Christians. Kenahora, everybody loves us here. Partially it’s the Christian Zionism in the evangelical community. People who see my kippah in the grocery store are more likely to tell me that they love Jews than anything else. But the largest Baptist convention in Oklahoma came out strongly against interfaith work because it sort of condones other religions. So the interfaith community is made up more of liberal Christians and all the non-Christians. We have fantastic relations because in a sense we are all dwarfed by the majority. CJ:Do your evangelical neighbors know much about Judaism? AJ: Sometimes there are difficult questions, and we’ve been spending time with our older kids making sure they have answers. It’s questions like, are you a complete Jew? Which is code for, do you believe in Jesus? Or sometimes when a person sees a kippah they ask if you go to this or that messianic congregation. CJ: What’s the best thing about a small congregation? AJ: I don’t call our congregation small, because small makes it sound like we need to get better. We are at a size where we can serve every person and if not, we’re able to engage that person oneon-one and figure out what they need and how we can serve them. CJ

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The Siddur Express It took determination – and a modern-day miracle – to send 80 unused prayer books to a Jewish community across the world. By Rabbi Sarah Newmark

his little miracle did not have an auspicious beginning – it was simply time for the unused prayer books to come out of our synagogue’s storage closet. As the daughter of a librarian and a bookkeeper, my “organizing genes” compelled me to reclaim what had become a jumbled mess of storage as useable closets for Congregation Beth Hatikvah, the Reform synagogue in Bremerton, Washington, where I serve as rabbi. Among the things I found when excavating the storage closet were nearly 200 paperback copies of the draft of Siddur Mishkan T’filah, the Reform prayer book, and 80 hardbound copies of the Conservative Siddur Sim Shalom. While the books had had quite a few years of use, they were in good to very good condition. Even though these materials no longer have street value, as a rabbi, I feel strongly that liturgical materials, even somewhat older editions, should be in the hands of “pray-ers,” not crammed, forgotten, in a closet. Rabbi Sarah Newmark is the spiritual leader of Congregation Beth Hatikvah of Bremerton, Washington.

Avishai Mekonen and Yahel Herzog for Be’chol Lashon

kehilla

The first schlep of my mission to find new homes for 275+ siddurim was to get them – boxes and boxes of them – to my home for counting and weighing. At first, it seemed as if my self-appointed task would be easy: Reform congregation Temple Kol Tikvah of Davidson, North Carolina, wanted our copies of the draft siddur – all of them! Schlep Two was done by my husband, Zavie, who scrounged sturdy, doublewalled boxes, packed the books and took them to the post office. The final schlep for the siddurim to reach their new home was left in the hands of the postal employees. So far, not too difficult, right? Finding a home for the Sim Shaloms, however, proved much harder. I asked every rabbi I could think of for a lead and posted my query on my Reconstructionist rabbis’ Listserv. I got no takers. I called United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism in New York to ask if anyone could think of a start-up congregation or prison ministry or Navy ship…. somewhere that could use them. No one knew of a potential taker. At this point, I had stacks of books in my laundry room – definitely unacceptable.

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My first last-ditch effort was to contact my wonderful colleague Rabbi Gail Diamond, the associate director of the Conservative Yeshiva in Jerusalem, where I had studied as a rabbinical student. I thought that Rabbi Diamond might know the right person who would know the right congregation or agency or…anyway, you have to have connections in this world, and I clearly needed help. Rabbi Diamond’s response surprised me. She did know of a group which needed these siddurim – the Abuyadaya people of Uganda! Rabbi Diamond had contacted Judy Gray of Skilled Volunteers for Israel, and Judy reported that these communities were desperate for the siddurim. The Abayudaya, which means “People of Judah,” practice Judaism and live in several villages in eastern Uganda near the town of Mbale. They are devout in their practice, keeping their version of kashrut and Shabbat. Most of the Abuyadaya communities are recognized by the Reform and Conservative movements. An unintended consequence of having taken on my “Mission: Send Forth Prayer Books” is that I got to learn about this community’s fascinating history. However, I quickly learned that as

Photos People of Judah: The Abayudaya live in Eastern Uganda, where they are served by Rabbi Gershom Sizomu, who was ordained as a Conservative rabbi.

A modern-day Judah Maccabee had generously stepped forward, restoring my resolve to get the siddurim to the Abuyadaya.

relatively easy as it is to pack up books and send them across the country, it is a totally different thing to get them to Uganda. By now veteran schlepper Zavie packed the siddurim into five boxes. It was 200 pounds of books! That sounds like a lot, but if you are UPS, FedEx or the US Post Office, it turns out it’s not; to ship via ocean carrier (relatively reasonable in price), you need a minimum of two thousand pounds – and you have to “palletize them” yourself and take them to the port. Our “small” shipment would have to go by air, at a cost of $2,500+. That’s when I pretty much gave up on the idea of shipping the siddurim to Uganda. My last ditch effort had failed, and I still had a laundry room full of prayer books. I asked another friend of mine, Conservative Rabbi Larry Kaplan, to send an email about the siddurim to the Conservative rabbis’ Listserv. When I explained the situation, he became the unexpected hero of this story. He offered to fund the shipping costs to Uganda up to $700. This was right before Chanukah, and suddenly, a modern-day Judah Maccabee had generously stepped forward, restoring my resolve to get the siddurim

to the Abuyadaya. Zavie located a private shipping company in Florida that deals in odd lots, but it delivers to the port of Kampala, which looks very far from Mbale on a map. This company’s price would actually fit into the unexpected funding I’d received, but, vey iz mir, Kampala? To my surprised delight, Rabbi Gershom Sizomu, who serves the

Abuyadaya communities, told me that they would be able to send someone to Kampala to pick up the siddurim. (Rabbi Sizomu, the first native-born black rabbi in sub-Saharan Africa, studied at the Ziegler School of Rabbinic Studies and was ordained as a Conservative rabbi.) Then came a misery of forms that all contained series of baffling initials, but I felt confident enough to tape up each of continues on page 55

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Thanasis Zovoilis for Getty Images

kehilla

When its elderly congregants couldn’t come to synagogue, this shul brought the synagogue to them.

Old and Not in the Way By Rabbi Tziona Szajman

enny and Hariette were a very sweet couple who were devoted to each other. I buried them last year. They died within three days of each other. When I first came to this pulpit, they were living in separate homes on opposite sides of town, Harriette in an assisted living home and Lenny in a skilled nursing facility about 20 miles away. Hariette could see her husband only by taking a difficult bus ride. Once there, all she could do was sit by his hospital bed. I couldn’t give them what they really wanted which was to return to health and live together as they had before. They were on a long waiting list to move together to the same nursing home. But I found that I could give them some normalcy. I made the complicated arrangements to transport them both by medi-van to the

Rabbi Tziona Szajman is the spiritual leader of Temple Israel in Vestal, New York.

synagogue for events and special services. They arrived dressed in their very best, Hariette’s outfit complete with a feathered hat. They smiled and glowed as they sat together on their date. This situation introduced issues beyond my pastoral training. I had learned to sit with people, to be present for people, to pray with people. I had learned to put myself into their world of illness and pain. But Hariette and Lenny taught me the importance of bringing people out of that world, if only for an hour, to the healing rhythm of a synagogue community. Bikkur cholim, visiting the sick, is a tricky mitzvah when applied to our elderly. Not all elderly are sick; more often they are just frail. For many, life has become institutional, one day looking very much like the last. More than bedside company, they need to feel that they are still alive, still important, still part of a community. Their lives are not over. They have wisdom to share. Their memories of the synagogue building, holiday services, even the social hall, are reignited when they visit.

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In my congregation there is a great sense of hiddur pnai zaken, honoring the elderly. The older members are viewed as founders and builders and their advice is listened to with care. Yet, we did not have much success in consistently visiting those who were in nursing homes. Perhaps it was the environment, perhaps the one-to-one bedside model. People did not flock to the mitzvah of visiting nursing homes. Our innovation has been to remove the bedside model. I and a few others still visit the sick, but our synagogue mitzvah has turned to bringing our community to our elderly and bringing our elderly back into our community. Once a month we move our complete Kabbalat Shabbat service to a local nursing home. This is not a supplemental or side service. This is our congregation’s Friday evening prayer, picked up in its entirety and brought to our elderly. For that hour, the walls of the nursing home disappear and the spirit of community Shabbat takes over. The elderly look forward to these services and the congregation loves

We have learned that Judaism, in all its richness, is not limited to the walls of a synagogue. We have learned that our community will not forget us when we are old and frail. them. We feel an extra spirit of Shabbat on these Friday nights. It enriches everyone. I also introduced a volunteer van transportation service. Many in the congregation who are still active and vital can no longer drive at night. They feel the decline of age as they are left out of important events. As their number grows, carpooling is less of an option but keeping them in our world is still essential. We borrow the van from a neighboring church and congregants step up to drive. It was very important that there be no fees to use this service. No one has to ask a neighbor to put themselves out. The benefit to our synagogue community has been enormous. There are congregants who were not regulars at Friday services but who adore the nursing home Kabbalat Shabbat service and rave about it. The structure gives people the confidence to enter nursing homes, something that otherwise might have frightened them. More than this, people feel enriched by the experience of sharing with our elderly. We have enriched our spiritual connections to community and Shabbat. We have learned that Judaism, in all its richness, is not limited to the walls of a synagogue. We have learned that our community will not forget us when we are old and frail. I still spend many hours in pastoral care. I still bring myself to those who are ill, in pain, and in need. But I thank Lenny and Hariette for showing me that synagogue community life can maintain oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s spirit and health. They needed more than an ear and a prayer. They needed a community and we gave it to them. CJ

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Mixed

Blessings

Faced with rising rates of intermarriage, Conservative leaders are searching for new ways to keep interfaith families in the fold. The question is, what exactly should they do? By Michael Schulson

s a child, Jessica Emerson was active in her family’s Conservative synagogue. She attended Camp Ramah, flirted with being a religious studies major in college, and now works for a Solomon Schechter day school in Los Angeles. After her first marriage ended in divorce, Jessica signed up for JDate, the popular online Jewish dating service. When JDate d i d n ’t wo r k o u t , s h e switched to OkCupid, a secular dating site. 16 CJ – Voices of conservative /masorti judaism Spring 2014

Howard Sokol for Getty Images

There, she met Patrick McCormick. Patrick grew up Catholic in Oklahoma. He left the church in his teens and eventually decided that he was an atheist. Jessica was concerned about dating someone who wasn’t Jewish, but as she fell in love with Patrick, she felt herself coming to terms with that anxiety. Patrick had concerns, too. “I would have sworn before I met Jessica that I would never raise kids in a church, or any sort of religious institution,” he says. Jessica has two children with her first husband, a secular Israeli. “It really threw me off that she was sending her kids to Hebrew school. It made me nervous. I was really skeptical of the whole thing,” says Patrick. Before long, though, Patrick and Jessica became regular attendees at IKAR, a progressive, independent shul in Los Angeles led by Conservative-trained rabbis. They started taking classes at the

Greatest Generation {born 1914-1927}

93% describe themselves as having no religion

identify as Jewish on the basis of religion

millenials {born after 1980}

68% describe themselves as having no religion

identify as Jewish on the basis of religion

32%

(per Pew Research Center 2013 Survey of U.S. Jews)

American Jewish University (AJU). And the week after he was interviewed for this article, Patrick went before a Conservative beit din, or rabbinical court, in order to finalize his conversion to Judaism. Things could have gone differently. In Jessica, Patrick had a partner who placed a clear priority on raising a Jewish family. He found a synagogue where he felt comfortable, and which invited him to play active roles in the community (Patrick and Jessica headed up planning for IKAR’s High Holy Days observance last year). He found people who could speak with him about interfaith relationships in a frank, non-judgmental way. But at the same time, the Conservative rabbis that Patrick encountered were unwilling to perform intermarriages. Living in Los Angeles, Patrick had access to an AJU program designed for people exploring Judaism – a program that could help

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him if and when he decided to convert.

hen it comes to intermarriage among North American Jews, there are two stories. One is a story of numbers, and, for those who believe that Jewish continuity depends on Jews marrying other Jews, the numbers are grim. The recent survey of American Jews by the Pew Research Center quantified the obvious: the intermarriage rate in the United States has risen dramatically in the past few decades. Between 2000 and 2013, more than half of all Jews who got married did so with someone outside the faith. Among intermarried couples with kids, just one in five is raising their children “Jewish by religion,” to use Pew’s phrasing. The other story, though, is a story about people, and that one is more complicated, in part because intermarriage today reflects some positive changes in attitudes. “You know, long gone are the days when intermarriage was seen as a rejection of one’s Jewish identity,” says Rabbi Steven Wernick, the CEO of United Synagogue. “It’s an expected byproduct of living in the freest society Jews have ever known.” When we talk about intermarriage, we’re not just talking about demographics. We’re talking about thousands of people navigating the slippery territories of love, assimilation, fidelity to tradition, and independence. What’s clear is that intermarriage is not going away. And the blend of experiences that have helped Patrick and Jessica toward a Jewish marriage isn’t available to every interfaith couple. Undoubtedly, Conservative synagogues have made great strides toward accepting mixed families into their midst. Still, it’s easy to imagine a future in which intermarriage rates continue to rise, and in which intermarried couples still join synagogues at much lower rates than their in-married peers. Simply having congregational policies to welcome intermarried couples probably isn’t sufficient to address this trend. “Maintaining the status quo is just not an option anymore,” says Rabbi Steven Schwartz of Beth El Congregation in Baltimore.

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intermarriage {NET Jewish} spouse spouse Jewish non-Jewish

before 1970

2005-2013

intermarriage {Jews by religion} spouse spouse Jewish non-Jewish

before 1970

2005-2013 (per Pew Research Center 2013)

All of which leaves us with a question: what’s next? Rabbis and synagogues across the country are asking that question. Their answers are creative and varied, but they tend to center around two themes: we need to be having frank conversations about marriage. At the same time, when people from outside of our communities fall in love with Jews, we need to make safe, welcoming places for them to fall in love with Judaism, too.

ixty years ago, if you were a member of a Conservative synagogue and you married outside the faith, you’d lose your membership. In the late 1950s and ’60s, the Conservative movement altered that stance, but it was still rare for the Jewish spouse to get an aliyah or hold a synagogue office after marrying a non-Jew. Synagogue directories would often show the name of the Jewish spouse only, as if the non-Jewish partner didn’t exist. Over time, Conservative communities became more open to mixed families. In the 1990s, many synagogues began piloting keruv (outreach) initiatives, intended to actively welcome interfaith families into synagogues. Under the banner of keruv, many synagogues have found ways to involve non-Jewish family members in life cycle events, and to give them some of the privileges of synagogue membership. While specific policies vary widely, it would be almost impossible today to find a Conservative shul that simply ignores the existence of a non-Jewish spouse or partner. Since 1999, the Federation of Jewish Men’s Clubs has been particularly active in promoting those initiatives, providing support and training for lay leaders and rabbis in hundreds of communities. As Rabbi Charles Simon, the executive director of FJMC, points out, the benefits of keruv go beyond intermarried couples. “It’s like looking in the mirror. The way you treat intermarriage is the way you treat your congregants,” he argues. “I think the way in which we’ve approached welcoming non-Jews into our community and carving out opportu-

nities for them to participate in the life of the congregation is light-years from where it was a decade ago, and certainly from 50 years ago,” says Wernick. Rabbi Julie Schonfeld, executive vice president of the Rabbinical Assembly, agrees that keruv now occupies an important place in Conservative Judaism. “The unconditional welcome we extend to people who enter our lives because of their love of Jewish partners is heartfelt and enthusiastic wherever they are on their journey,” Schonfeld says. “To the full extent that we can without sacrificing our religious values, we strive to ensure that non-Jews experiencing our way of life always do so at a pace and in an environment where they feel comfortable."

and by recognizing patrilineal descent, the Reform movement has defused some of the practical concerns raised by intermarriages. Those Reform policies, though, cannot address the broader question of how to encourage families of all kinds to engage in Jewish life. The Pew Report showed that, on issues ranging from synagogue membership to participation in Jewish youth programs, Reform Jews are much less engaged continues on page 52

oday, around 25 percent of married Conservative Jews have a non-Jewish spouse. This compares to about 50 percent of Reform Jews and 69 percent among Jews who don’t identify with any denomination. While most Conservative synagogues will welcome interfaith couples, Conservative rabbis can neither perform nor attend intermarriages. Over and over, the rabbis interviewed talked about the challenges of being committed to endogamy – in other words, Jews marrying Jews – while wanting to welcome those who have intermarried and help them raise Jewish families. “That’s a contradictory message, and every one of our Conservative rabbis lives that contradictory message,” says Rabbi Ed Feinstein of Valley Beth Shalom in Los Angeles. Adds Schonfeld: “How do we explain the integrity of Jewish values, such as endogamy, that are hard to reconcile with the values of an open society that have been so positive for the Jewish community? We know that Jews fall in love and intermarry and we don’t stop loving them, but we don’t abandon our unswerving dedication to our tradition, either.” By excluding interfaith couples, Orthodox Jewish communities have largely dodged these questions. By allowing its rabbis to perform intermarriages,

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The Conversion Option Image: Veer

hen Steven Wernick was a rabbi in Philadelphia, a member of his synagogue asked him a question that caught him completely off-guard. “Rabbi,” the man said. “I have to ask you something. I’ve been a member of this synagogue for two years. For the last year I’ve been taking my daughter to synagogue virtually every single Shabbat. Most people in this synagogue don’t even realize that I’m not Jewish. How come you’ve never asked me to convert? Is there something wrong with me?” Wernick, floored, invited the man to begin conversion classes, which he did. For Wernick, it was an eye-opening moment. “What would it mean,” he asks today, “to really step up and say that Judaism is a world class religious tradition, one that’s worthy of other people’s interest to convert to and to participate in?” Traditionally, Jews do not encourage people to consider conversion. Once someone does express an interest in becoming Jewish, it’s customary to dissuade him three times. These practices date back to a time when Jews were very suspicious of outsiders. That’s less relevant today. “The custom of turning someone away three times is not in Jewish law,” notes Rabbi Stephen Lerner, the director of the Center for Conversion to Judaism in New York City. Lerner has guided close to 1,500 people toward conversion. While he wants to make sure that potential converts are serious, he places a priority on being welcoming. Most of Lerner’s conversion students have chosen Judaism because they’re in a relationship with someone Jewish. While nobody advocates pressuring non-Jewish spouses to convert, a number of rabbis have argued that

one way to address intermarriage is to make conversion seem like a more viable option for couples who might otherwise be hesitant – or, like Wernick’s congregant, simply not know where to begin.

onversion in the Conservative movement generally involves classes, attendance at services, and meetings with a rabbi, culminating in an appearance before a rabbinical court and a dip in the mikvah. The whole process usually takes between nine months and a year. Rabbi Elliot Cosgrove of Park Avenue Synagogue in New York would like to speed that up – or, more accurately, flip it on its head. Citing a famous story about Hillel, in which the sage converts a man who’s standing on one foot, Cosgrove has proposed performing the conversion first, and holding the classes afterward. In the face of rising intermarriage rates, this is “a policy aimed to create the maximum number of halachically defined Jewish families,” he writes. When couples ask about conversion, Cosgrove explained in an interview, “The first response of the Jewish community should be, ’Yes! How can we make this happen?’” Is his proposal halakhically acceptable? On this point, Jewish law is vague. “I’m not declaring lobster kosher,” says Cosgrove. “I’m asking a question that to the best of my knowledge exists in a

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halakhic grey area.” Even without such speedy conversions, there are probably ways that Conservative communities could make conversion more accessible. Rabbi Adam Greenwald, director of the Miller Introduction to Judaism Program in Los Angeles, points out that financial obstacles, for instance, can make conversion seem less than welcoming. Potential converts pay several hundred dollars for a class. Then they pay for the mikvah. Then they go to a shul, where, says Greenwald, “They say, ’Great, we’re happy to have you as a member. Now give us money.’” That financial burden tends to fall on young couples, the demographic that can least afford it. “We need to make this available and possible for everyone,” Greenwald argues.

he simplest approach, perhaps, is for the movement to speak more openly about conversion. Jack Wertheimer, a professor at the Jewish Theological Seminary, argues that Conservative communities should have ambassadors: “Let’s send out formerly intermarried families where the non-Jewish spouse had converted to Judaism, who might testify in the sense of speaking publicly about their own family’s experiences and why this conversion to Judaism helped their family life, strengthened their family life, and certainly strengthened

their children’s commitment to Jewish life.” Wertheimer suggests that conversion can be a kind of Conservative niche. “What the Conservative movement could do to be quite distinctive, because neither the Orthodox nor the Reform are doing this, is to be the movement that says, if you intermarry we will do everything possible to educate you as to the virtues, to the benefits, of unambiguously Jewish family life,” he says. The line between promoting conversion and unintentionally discouraging it, though, can be very fine. Greenwald, for example, has had many students who decide to convert, but say they would have left their introduction to Judaism classes immediately had they sensed any pressure. “I think we do better by not pushing,” he says. It’s important to remember, too, that many non-Jews raise Jewish families and play an active role in their synagogues. Their reasons for not converting are manifold. Becoming Jewish is a very personal, and in some families very fraught, decision. Recognizing the range of Jewish involvement and identities, sociologist Steven M. Cohen has suggested creating a way to have some kind of official Jewish identification without undergoing religious conversion. Rabbi Ed Feinstein of Valley Beth Shalom in Los Angeles, in a similar vein, speculates about having some kind of green card to Judaism – a kind of intermediate step toward conversion. What’s clear is that the old model of turning away potential converts is a thing of the past. When it comes to conversion, says Cosgrove, “We should see ourselves as agents, not gatekeepers.” — Michael Schulson

Katrin Solansky for Getty Images

Too Long a Wait It’s time to make converting to Judaism a less daunting process. By Darcy R. Fryer

new acquaintance pulls me aside. She is considering converting to Judaism – has been for years, in fact – and a mutual friend told her I might be a good person to talk to. She reminds me of myself 15 years ago in that she’s hesitating, overthinking, worrying all too scrupulously about whether she’s good enough, whether she’s ready, what is the “right” thing to do. It’s clear that she is already knowledgeable about Judaism and that she has long since decided, or realized, that Judaism will be her religion. The only question is whether she will embrace it formally. I counsel her as best I can, but for days afterward I keep thinking about our conversation. None of the things she’s debating with herself really matter. The decision that counts is the one she has already made and it would, I think, be better to formalize it sooner rather than to wait until she has achieved some elusive bar, whether of personal observance or of public acceptance. Of course her knowledge will increase over time; everyone’s should. Of course her Darcy R. Fryer practice will evolve over time; everyone’s does. But is a historian, converting now will free her to live her life without teacher and a cloud of religious ambiguity hanging over it. It will freelance writer. allow her to benefit from the Jewish community and She converted the Jewish community to benefit from her. It’s hard to Judaism in to see how waiting benefits anyone. 1998.

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ne month later, Rabbi Elliott Cosgrove’s suggestion that the Conservative Jewish community might revise the conversion process so that intensive study of Judaism follows, rather than precedes, conversion spawns a mini-typhoon in the Jewish press. Reactions vary, but the most audible waves of murmuring concern the ostensible erosion of standards and the specter that uninformed, imperfectly committed people may convert to Judaism for frivolous reasons. As a convert, I feel – as I have felt many times before – that the Conservative Jewish community is worrying about all the wrong things. It’s not that I want hordes of uninformed people to impulsively convert to Judaism for frivolous reasons. It’s just that I have never met anyone who contemplated becoming Jewish for frivolous reasons, and I find it hard even to imagine such a person. Rabbi Cosgrove was speaking primarily of men and women who convert in the context of marriage, because they want to build a unified Jewish home and family. In the 21st century, it’s easy enough for Jews and nonJews to marry each other and even, if they wish, raise their children as Jews without having the non-Jewish partner convert. A person whose impending marriage to a Jew prompts him or her to seek conversion is undertaking a commitment that is voluntary, earnest and honorable. And those who convert alone, driven solely by conviction – still a difficult, though no longer an unusual, thing to do – surely cannot be called frivolous. What, then, is the danger that those who fret about frivolous, too-quick conversions hope to shield us from? I think it’s hard for anyone who grew up Jewish to understand how intimidating – how downright scary – it can be for a non-Jew to set foot in a synagogue or make an appointment with a rabbi to discuss conversion. I waited three and a half years from the time I started considering conversion until I approached a rabbi; informal conversations with other converts suggest that this span of time was, if anything, shorter than average. Those whose conversions are prompted

As a convert, I feel – as I have felt many times before – that the Conservative Jewish community is worrying about all the wrong things. by wedding plans may have to move more quickly, but often they have been exploring Judaism over their years of dating. Sitting down with a rabbi is never the first step in the process.

y own relatively drawn-out conversion process did me no harm. I was young, single and fixed in one place, so waiting affected no one but me. Did it do me any good? Spending 14 months on the formal conversion process gave me time to settle into a congregation and begin to feel at home. But although I liked and admired the rabbi who supervised my conversion, I had researched Judaism very thoroughly before I approached him, and the task of persuading him to let me convert was more of a chore than a spiritually illuminating experience. It did little to foster my Jewish identity. Instead, it made me skittish, self-conscious, and doubtful that I would ever be fully accepted. To this day, I have not gotten over the sense that I, as a convert, am in a fishbowl, continually vulnerable to others’ assessment of my sincerity and practice. One might argue that the conversion process needs to be long so that prospective converts have time to consider how

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they will live as Jews. This is not a bad idea for those with the time to design their Jewish lives. But most of my figuring out how to live as a Jew came after I converted, just as couples figure out how to be married after they get married and parents how to parent after they have children. There are better things to worry about than the question of whether conversion may be too easy. One is the danger of losing prospective converts because the process is too inattentive to their individual needs: a time line that doesn’t mesh with marriage plans, conversion courses pitched at too low a level for people who have been studying independently, and processes that don’t take account of individual circumstances and perspectives. One of the most heartbreaking conversations I ever had was with a young black woman. The rabbi she was meeting with seemed inexplicably reluctant to accept her as a candidate for conversion. My guess is that this rabbi was simply adhering to the custom of turning any wouldbe convert away, and had not considered how this stonewalling might appear in a society burdened by centuries of racial prejudice.

wish we could tease all of the subtle negativity out of the conversion process. Scrapping the tradition of turning prospective converts away three times might prevent painful misunderstandings. The practice carries the implicit message that prospective converts are in some way not good enough. Those who seek to convert are, by and large, serious-minded folk who already expect a lot of themselves. They are exposing private beliefs and yearnings to public judgment. Having taken this risk, they deserve to be treated with more than ordinary sensitivity. Questioning converts’ motives, drawing the process out, and discouraging those who seek to convert – even in a pro forma manner – do more harm than good. A more supportive conversion process would be both a little faster and a little more flexible, but above all it would be forward-looking, easy to navigate, and positive in tone.

For similar reasons, it is time to scrap the tradition of not singling out converts or reminding them of their nonJewish past lest one shame them. Most converts today are not ashamed of their status, nor should they be. By downplaying converts’ presence in the community we miss opportunities to examine and improve the process and more effectively support prospective converts. In a world in which I fill out endless questionnaires on every topic from my experience as a history Ph.D. to those as an L.L. Bean customer, it surprises me that I have never been surveyed on my experiences as a convert. This might be a good moment to get in touch with some of the thousands of converts and ask them to reflect on how well the process served them.

here are two bottom lines in the reemerging discussion of conversion to Judaism. One is that conversion is good for the people who convert. If one believes in the inherent value of Judaism, not just as an ethnic tradition but as a body of wisdom and a blueprint for living, then one must believe it will be of value to others. When prospective converts put themselves forward, we who believe in the value of Judaism must recognize that people who are drawn to Judaism and interested in living as Jews will benefit from doing so. The other bottom line is that welcoming converts promotes the survival and vigor of Judaism in the modern world. The Jewish community’s attitude toward converts reminds me a little of the parable about how a faithful servant of God, stranded by rising floodwaters, spurned first a rescuer in rowboat, then a rescuer in a motorboat, then a rescuer in a helicopter – and, upon dying, remonstrated with God, “I have served you so faithfully. Why didn’t you save me?” “Why,” replied God, “I sent you a rowboat, a motorboat and a helicopter. Why didn’t you take what I offered you?” Admittedly, an influx of converts may not be the sort of response to dwindling numbers that most Jews imagined or hoped for, but it seems to be the response that God is sending us right now. We should embrace this gift. CJ

Raising Ruth’s Daughters Israelis who have converted, or whose mothers or grandmothers converted, face especially daunting identity issues. By Jessica Fishman

reat grandmother to King David, the biblical Ruth was not the first Jewish convert, but she is the most recognized. While her story is a model for Jews-by-choice, the allegory does not hold true in Israel today where, all too often, converts and their descendants face both legal and sociological discrimination. Erin Kopelow and Ariel Beery, both immigrants from the United States, find themselves in this very situation because Jessica Fishman moved to Israel the Israeli rabbinate refuses to recogin 2003. She writes the Aliyah Sur- nize Erin’s mother’s conversion. Erin, vival Blog, an irreverent portrayal whose mother had converted through of life as an immigrant in Israel. a Conservative rabbi in Canada before Her book, Chutzpah and High her parents married, had a typical North Heels: The Search for Love and American Jewish upbringing. She never Identity in the Holy Land, will be doubted her Jewish identity; in fact she published soon. led her family toward becoming more

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observant. Yet under the current Israeli law, Erin and Ariel’s daughter will not be considered Jewish. When Jews apply for Israeli citizenship, according to the Right of Return, they need to prove that they have one Jewish grandparent or had a Jewish conversion from any denomination. However, when it comes time for these same immigrants to marry, they face a much stricter definition of who is a Jew since the only way to be married in Israel is through the Orthodox rabbinate. According to the rabbinate, a Jew is someone who was born of a Jewish mother (either a mother born Jewish or one converted with a rabbi recognized by the rabbinate) or a convert who converted with a rabbi recognized by the rabbinate. In addition to this legal discrimination in a religious arena, social discrimination exists on multiple levels, even for those who did convert through the Orthodox rabbinate.

many Israeli converts feel like second-class citizens and second-class Jews – even if they did convert through the rabbinate. Children who were converted as babies need to reaffirm their Jewish identity during their bar mitzvah. Sivan, an immigrant with a Jewish father and non-Jewish mother, did convert through the rabbinate. After the required year-and-a-half process of intensive study and observance, the mikvah experience had a tremendous impact on her: “It was cathartic. It was emotional. Finally getting through it and being accepted into the tribe.” Nonetheless, it didn’t totally solve her identity crisis. “I still felt and feel halfJewish because of the way people speak about converts here.” Dr. Maya Cohen-Malayev, a professor at Bar-Ilan University’s School of Education who grew up in both Israel and the United States, studies identity in different Jewish cultures. She offers insight into why Israeli

“It was cathartic. It was emotional.

many Russian immigrants – she had the right to move to Israel, but because her mother is not Jewish, she could not get married. Anya was faced with some hard realities – her future children would not be considered Jewish or if she were killed while serving in the Israel Defense Forces, her body could not be buried in a military cemetery. While doing her army service, Anya decided to go through a conversion in a special IDF program and is now in a relationship with a secular Israeli. Despite the fact that he is secular, he has told Anya that if she had not converted, they wouldn’t be in this relationship. When Anya talks about it, her pain is apparent. Erin and Ariel have already begun to help their daughter cope with the issues that society might force upon her, mostly by speaking to her about Judaism and instilling in her a sense of being part of a deep, rich, questioning tradition. They have yet to decide how to bring up the

”

Finally getting through it and being accepted into the tribe.

ndeed many Israelis, regardless of their observance levels, hold converts to a higher standard. According to Israel’s Central Bureau of Statistics, 43.4 percent of Israelis are secular. Yet according to the Israel Democracy Institute, “a majority of Israeli Jews (73 percent) accept the official position that Orthodox conversions are the path leading to recognition of a person’s Jewishness.” Anecdotally, converts experience this attitude every day. Tom, an immigrant from France, recalls sitting down for lunch with two friends, a sabra who was eating a cheeseburger at the time, and another friend from France whose wife had converted before making aliyah. The sabra explained that the friend’s wife and child were not really Jewish because the conversion was not Orthodox. When Tom questioned his friend, noting that he didn’t seem particularly observant himself, the friend replied, “I can do what I want since I was born Jewish.” Combining the legal discrimination with societal attitudes, it is not surprising that

converts often feel uncertain about their identity, explaining that identity has two separate components – internal and social. “Identity isn’t what I think about myself, it is what I think about myself within the context in which I live,” she explains. “I might think of myself as Jewish; I see myself as Jewish; and I feel Jewish. This is the internal part of identity. And then suddenly someone comes from the outside and says, ’No, you’re not Jewish.’ This causes a big discrepancy between how I feel and who people are telling me I am.” Dr. Cohen-Malayev says that parents can help by providing children with a viewpoint about Jewishness and conversion that is different from the rabbinate’s and that they should speak openly about conversion and Jewish identity just as other parents speak openly about adoption.

nya, an immigrant from Russia, moved to Israel as a teenager without her parents. Identifying as a Jew, Anya faced the same problem as

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issue of conversion and her status. “I always imagined that it would come up organically, just like I always knew my mom converted. It was just part of my story,” Erin explains. Erin and Ariel are often questioned by people, even well-intentioned friends, about why they didn’t convert their daughter with the rabbinate as a baby to avoid these issues. Ariel is particularly frustrated by these questions “Just like she is fundamentally our daughter, she is fundamentally part of the Jewish people. If some people don’t consider her part of the Jewish people for their own sake, it is their problem.” Of course, even if they had converted their daughter, she still might face identity and acceptance issues. Ariel is hoping that things change. He believes that this fight is more about his country’s identity than about his daughter’s. “My grandparents didn’t come to this land, build it up, and create the state so that someone could say their great-granddaughter is not Jewish.” CJ

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He’s Meshuga for Israel… and wants you to be, too.

Larry Ritter and his wife, Marlene, own Israel Tour Connection, one of the premier companies specializing in Israel and Jewish world travel. Because of ITC’s experience and knowledge serving Conservative congregations, United Synagogue has launched a new partnership with ITC to bring group travel to more USCJ synagogues.

When did you first go to Israel? Larry Ritter: I grew up in an Orthodox home in Newark, New Jersey. It wasn’t until I married a girl from the Conservative movement that I really gained insight into Conservative Judaism. In the Orthodox world my experience of Israel was at Passover when we said, “Next year in Jerusalem,” but I never got there. It wasn’t until some friends of mine hocked me for five years that I decided to go on a UJA mission. In 1982 I finally went, and it changed my life. It gave me such an appreciation for who we are as a people and the importance of our homeland, Israel. I came back totally meshuga for Israel, and in 1983, with my rabbi, alav hashalom, Rabbi Sam Cohen, we started taking trips to Israel from Beth Sholom in Livingston. And, well, I've been doing this labor of love ever since. How did you end up expanding so much? LR: It wasn’t until 1988 or ‘89, when we had that Gulf War and people stopped traveling, we had guides come to our home saying, “Help us make a living, help us with groups.” So we became focused on putting together groups to Israel. Most of what we do is in the Conservative movement, and because of my rabbis, Alan Silverstein and Geoffrey Spector, we became much more involved with the Masorti movement in Israel as well as the Conservative movement here in the United States. How did you get involved with Masorti? LR: Seven or eight years ago I went with Rabbi Silverstein on a Masorti trip to Israel and started seeing what the Conservative movement in Israel was doing to save Judaism for Israel. They were doing outreach to secular Israelis to show

sites and activities to add. She also offers educational experiences, having political speakers come to the groups, for instance, and she’s experienced with the Masorti Foundation. Barbara's insights into the movement show in her itineraries. She’s always coming up with exciting programs.

them that there are ways to celebrate being Jewish religiously that are meaningful for today. Israelis are now finding Masorti Judaism with these wonderful young energetic rabbis. They’ve gone from just a few kehillot throughout the country to now more than 50. I think it’s important for every congregation in America to get involved with the Masorti community in Israel, to help fight for religious freedom and pluralism. When Conservative synagogue groups go to Israel do they usually visit a Masorti congregation? LR: Yes. A lot of the rabbis have joined us on trips with the Masorti Foundation in Israel and we've shown them what’s going on, and once they see it, it’s a lifechanging experience. How do you make your trips different than just the greatest hits? LR: First of all, we have a full-time educator on our staff, Barbara Sutnick, an American who made aliyah, and part of her job is to make every trip interesting and different. She spends her time writing itineraries and traveling around the country looking for new and exciting

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When you bring groups to Israel what’s your goal? LR: The ideal trip is when they fall in love with Israel. I want them to understand that it’s part of them. And they need to teach this to their children, so that the farther we get away from the Holocaust we don’t lose the connection to Israel that our parents and our grandparents had. Why do you think it’s good for a synagogue to do an Israel trip? LR: You’re spending time with your rabbi as you have never done before, you’re spending time as a family. You’re also with your congregational family, and having this experience together is something that’s irreplaceable. If a synagogue doesn’t have a lot of members to put together an Israel trip, what can you do? LR: We can make it happen. We’ll put them together with another synagogue from another part of the country, and we find that works because most of these rabbis have come out of Conservative rabbinical schools, they have classmates who are rabbis someplace else, and we connect them with their friends to create a group. And it can be done on any price level. The only differences are the hotels where you stay and the places you eat – the touring, the guide, the driver, they’re all the same.

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the jewish year

What Freedom? On Passover, we’re not celebrating our liberation so much as our hope for future redemption. By Rabbi Judah Kogen

onventional wisdom holds that the Passover seder is a celebration of our liberation from slavery in Egypt. But imagine the Jews who celebrated the holiday while living under the Spanish Inquisition. Or those enduring the evil empires of ancient Rome or Czarist Russia. How could they have ignored the elephant in the room, namely, were they really better off than their ancestors had been as slaves in Egypt? The Hagaddah, under the guise of celebrating liberation from Egypt, really has a different agenda. It is actually a template for a liberation that we anticipate from our present conditions of enslavement. This explains why we don’t tell the Passover story by recounting the narrative from the book of Exodus. Instead, the rabbis chose a Torah passage (from Deuteronomy 26) that makes no reference at all to Moses. And in the accompanying Midrash, the Haggadah makes very clear that our people were liberated by God himself, and not by an angel or by any other agent of God’s plan. All this is necessary because the Hagaddah is meant to inspire our faith that history will repeat itself. If, as in the account in Exodus, Moses is a central figure, he is also indispensable. But for history to repeat itself, liberation has to be possible without Moses. At the end of the seder, as we complete our ritual of thanksgiving for the Exodus, we climactically proclaim, “Next year in Jerusalem.” More to the point, we invite Elijah the Prophet to join us. We do not assume that Elijah is present

Rabbi Judah Kogen was ordained by the Jewish Theological Seminary in 1974. He has served on the Committee on Jewish Law and Standards and been president of two regions of the Rabbinical Assembly.

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at every seder, like a Jewish Santa Claus. Rather we invite Elijah to play his most important role: announcing the coming of the Messiah. We thus celebrate the seder as if we were celebrating contemporary liberation. We give thanks for the miracles of the Exodus and anticipate the miracle of future redemption. We reenact the night of the Exodus – originally with the Passover sacrifice accompanied by unleavened bread and bitter herbs, now with a festive meal centered around the unleavened bread and bitter herbs and the retelling of the story of the Exodus. As in ancient times, we recite Hallel because these Psalms (particularly 114) are central to our giving thanks for liberation from slavery. We celebrate this night in such unique ways because it reflects the most fundamental experience in the birth of our people and because we believe its recurrence will be the basis of our people’s rebirth.

ut even with this understanding, we still face a dilemma: Why on Passover do we explicitly not give thanks for our return to the land of Israel? Indeed, the passage in the Mishnah that tells us to include Deuteronomy 26 in the Passover seder, called for continuing to the end of the paragraph, through verse 11. Yet we end at verse 8. The reason is that the next verses give thanks for God bringing us “to this place…a land flowing with milk and honey.” Until the exile, the practice of reciting Hallel on the same night we recite these verses was the essence of the celebration of independence (before the exile). Ironically, the rabbis’ transformation of the Passover seder from a celebration of ancient liberation to the anticipation of future redemption deprived us of a biblically-mandated vehicle for commemorating Israel’s modern independence.

Still, how should the establishment of Israel affect our quest for liberation? Secularists have an easy answer: We celebrate Israel’s independence on Yom haAtzmaut while Passover is about the past. The religious right also has an easy answer: Nothing essential has changed so our hopes remain the same.

or those of us who are modern enough to celebrate the establishment of the state of Israel and traditional enough to be inspired by the message of Passover, the two observances actually overlap. We feel that what we pray for on Passover is at least partially fulfilled as we commemorate Israel’s Independence Day just a few weeks later. Many people, in fact, use the tools of tradition to go beyond parades and fireworks in celebrating Independence Day. We recite a new version of Al haNissim, from the celebrations of Chanukkah and Purim adapted to commemorate the founding of Israel, and we recite Hallel as we do on other festivals. The destruction of Jerusalem and its Temple, accompanied by our people’s loss of its ancestral homeland, was perceived by the rabbis as the greatest tragedy in our history. Everything about Judaism changed in the aftermath of these events. New patterns of worship and leadership were devised to substitute for ancient norms. Nowhere is this more apparent than in the introduction of the Passover seder as we know it, which replaced the ancient Passover feast. Since that time, we have left out the verses of thanksgiving for the land and its goodness and focus instead on a future redemption that will restore those blessings. Today, as we bear witness to the fulfillment of an ancient dream, we celebrate Israel’s modern independence by reciting the same Psalms of Hallel that were at the core of our ancient independence day, while at the Passover seder, we continue to look ahead to the realization of the Messianic ideal in full measure. CJ

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the jewish year

Rice and Beans and Corn, Oh My! On Passover, these foods remain out of bounds for Ashkenazim, but a rabbinic panel is examining the ban. By Rabbi Paul Plotkin

Rabbi Paul Plotkin has been the spiritual leader of Temple Beth Am in Margate, Florida, since 1983. He chairs the kashrut sub-committee of the Conservative Movement’s Committee on Jewish Law and Standards.

s we approach another Passover season I have come to believe that the Four Questions need to be amended to become the Five Questions, with the fifth question being, “On all other nights we eat all foods grown from the ground. Why on this night do we not eat kitniyot?" Of course, this question would only be asked in Ashkenazi homes, where on Passover the foods called kitniyot – the catchall term for legumes, rice, corn, and certain other foods – are seemingly as forbidden as bread or pasta. The question would make no sense in a Sefardi home, where there is no tradition of prohibiting kitniyot. And since the passage of what’s known as the “Golinkin teshuvah,” [CJ, Spring 2013] a rabbinic ruling for Masorti Jews in Israel, the question is no longer asked in those homes, either. But it is still a very real question in Conservative Ashkenazi homes in the Diaspora. Why? Will this puzzling issue ever be resolved? Kitniyot are often understood to be legumes, though many foods defined as kitniyot are not legumes. Corn and rice are universally accepted as kitniyot, yet some Sefardi Jews don’t eat rice while all Sefardim eat corn. (Going to a movie in Israel on chol hamoed and seeing kosher for Passover popcorn and knowing you

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can’t have any is a great example of a Jewish identity crisis.) Some authorities have ruled that while kitniyot are prohibited, kitniyot in liquid form or extracts whose form has significantly changed are permitted. Rarely are two lists of prohibited kitniyot the same. In recent years people have discovered quinoa and asked about its Passover status. Since quinoa was unkown to the earlier rabbis (rishonim) it was approved for Passover consumption. However that didn’t stop some rabbis in the Orthodox world from prohibiting it under the umbrella of kitniyot. To its credit, the Orthodox Union not only stuck to its guns in permitting quinoa, but this year is offering supervised quinoa to assure no inadvertent cross contamination with real chametz. So what is this kitniyot situation really all about? Kitniyot fall into a category of Jewish law called minhag, or custom. Minhagim are not mitzvot – they did not come from Sinai, they are not part of the oral law, and their practice can be as widespread as the entire Jewish world or limited to a single family. We are not completely certain when the kitniyot prohibition began, though continues on page 33

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On all other nights we eat all foods grown from the ground. Why on this night do we not eat kitniyot? continued from page 30

we know it was discussed starting around the 11th century and was codified in the 16th century. There are multiple answers as to why the ban was imposed but they tend to center around the idea that kitniyot look like grains or can be made into flour that looks like chametz flour. Rabbi Issac Klein, of blessed memory, was recognized as one of our greatest Conservative authorities on Jewish law. Over 40 years ago I was privileged to attend a lecture he gave on the laws of Passover. He told a story of two women who came to their rabbi with questions. The first wanted to know if cabbage was permitted on Passover. When the rabbi asked what her family’s practice was, she reported that they never ate it but she had heard that others did. He told her that it was forbidden. Later in the day, the second woman also wanted to know if cabbage was permitted on Passover. Again he asked what her family’s practice was. She said that they always ate it but she had heard that some people did not. The rabbi informed her that it was absolutely permitted to eat cabbage. Rabbi Klein added that the rabbi hoped the two women never shared the details of their meetings. The story is a clear example of the power of minhag in Jewish life. In fact, many Jews who do not observe most mitzvot are punctilious in observing minhagim, especially if they associate them with loved ones going back generations. While not technically an issue of minhag, here is an example of the power of this concept. When I came to Florida for my first American pulpit I met many Jews who did not have kosher homes but

maintained a complete kosher-for-Passover kitchen down to two sets of dishes. When I asked why they were so observant of kashrut on Passover but not during the rest of the year, they said that after their parents had died they gave up on keeping a kosher home but always brought out the two sets of Passover dishes to maintain the family’s Passover custom.

he rabbis understood this psychology and enshrined it in a principle called minhag avoteinu beyadeinu (the minhag of our forefathers remains in our hands). For instance, according to the Torah, Passover has a yom tov (holy day observance) on the first and last days of the holiday, while the rest of the days are chol hamoed (intermediate days when working, driving, writing, etc., are all permitted). During the Babylonian exile the calendar was dependent on witnesses coming to Jerusalem and convincing the judges that they had seen the new moon. This established the first day of the month, which was communicated all over Israel. The Rabbis also developed a system for communicating the day of the new moon to the Diaspora in time for them to know when to begin the holiday. Unfortunately the system was sabotaged by non-Jews living in Israel, so those living in the Diaspora could not be sure whether the first day of the month was on day one or day two. Thus the two-day yom tov in the Diaspora was born. When science and math had evolved to the point where the Rabbis could project an accurate calendar, the question arose as to what to do with the minhag of a second day of yom tov in the Diaspora.

The Rabbis responded with minhag avoteinu beyadeinu as the reason to continue the practice. In 1969, when the Committee on Jewish Law and Standards, Conservative Judaism’s halakhic decision making body, passed a teshuvah that gave rabbis the option of going back to the original biblical practice of one day of yom tov, few chose to do so. Why? Because without referring to, or perhaps even having any knowledge of, minhag avoteinu beyadeinu, Conservative Jews who went to shul wanted the second day. A rabbi of one of the few synagogues that chose to observe only one day, told me his members were going down the street to another synagogue on the second day. This is a long way around to let you know that the kashrut subcommittee of the Committee on Jewish Law and Standards, which I chair, is working on the issue of kitniyot for Ashkenazim in the Diaspora. As part of that work a teshuvah, or position paper, on the issue of minhag and how it changes is being written. The discussion that results will influence our ruling on kitniyot. I for one have no idea what the eventual outcome will be. As for now, however, the status quo remains, which is to say that the Conservative movement in North America does not permit kitniyot on Passover except in special individual cases, which the congregational rabbi can rule on. While we await a final ruling, those who crave a plate of rice and beans might add another wish for the future to the traditional “Next year in year in Jerusalem.” Perhaps, “Next year with kitniyot?” CJ

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profile

Re-dreaming Jerusalem The Unorthodox Vision of Rabbi Tamar Elad-Appelbaum By Beth Kissileff

fter my first meeting with Tamar Elad-Appelbaum, I decided that were I to make aliyah, I would be part of her Jerusalem community. I have no immediate plans for aliyah, but hearing her speak of her vision makes me want to participate with her. Elad-Appelbaum, 39, is part of a new generation of Israeli-born Masorti rabbis who are taking the movement beyond a gathering place for those “from the old country” – North America, that is – than it has been in the past. Her congregation is called, fittingly, Tzion: Kehillah Yisraeli Artzit (Zion: An Israeli Community). Rabbi Elad-Appelbuam describes it as one that brings together Jews from all backgrounds and affiliations to pray, study and repair the world together. Tzion meets at Beit Ar-El in the Baka neighborhood to pray, but they also do events at the Tachanah Rishona, the old train station on Bethlehem Road in Jerusalem that has become a cultural meeting place as well as a food and shopping destination. The community’s website invites one and all to “come as you are.” Last Chanukkah the rabbi led Jerusalem’s first interfaith menorah lighting at the train station, where she says, hundreds of people got the chance to see “what Jerusalem could be and should be.” This is a rabbi who is very much committed to welcoming people from

all avenues of life and enabling them to participate in Jewish life in ways with which they are comfortable. We met at the Lechem shel Tomer bakery in her Talpiot neighborhood. When I came to the store, fragrant within, she was sitting outside, chatting with a man who often comes to her kehilla.

lad-Appelbaum’s vocation seems to have been apparent to her family early on. She told me about a seder with her father’s traditional Moroccan family (her mother is Ashkenazi French) when her grandfather told the women to go into the kitchen. The fouryear-old Tamar said that no Jew should send another Jew to the kitchen on seder night. Her grandfather stopped, thought about what she had said and decided that she was right. Everyone stayed at the table that evening. Her questioning the ways things were done in the world ceased for a while during most of her youth. She told me, “Orthodoxy seemed to be perfect.” She grew up in the Bnai Akiva youth movement – “That was my life,” she said, laughing – and attended the most progressive Orthodox school in Jerusalem at the time, Pelech, where her mother teaches and where Alice Shalvi was her teacher. Shalvi, who also broke with Orthodoxy, served as the rector of the Schechter Institute from

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1997-2000. Elad-Appelbaum was part of that “very intellectual Jerusalem world” and Jewish learning was a natural for her. When she went to the army, the secular people she met had a take on what constituted the aron hasefarim yehudim (the Jewish bookshelf) that was different than the Torani (traditional Torahoriented) bookshelf of her youth. She says she went around with lists of what she needed to read. Those encounters with her secular peers made her a “much more rooted Jew in the project called eretz yisrael, medinat yisrael” (the land of Israel, the state of Israel). At Hebrew University, she studied Jewish philosophy, reading Abraham Joshua Heschel, Martin Buber, Franz Rosenzweig, and Hermann Cohen. She found herself “thrilled to find that so many of my questions had been asked and answered by them.” However, reading in the National Library one day, she realized that though her questions found a language in philosophy, many of the people she was reading were dead. She wanted to speak to someone alive. She called professor of philosophy Eliezer Schweid and told him this. He invited her over to his home that day and they had a long discussion about what made him interested in Jewish tradition. She told Schweid, “I want

you to know that I am dedicating my life to the renaissance of the Jewish community in Israel.” He was happy to hear that, but the future rabbi still had no idea what she could do to make this happen. When she was finishing her bachelor’s degree and newly married, EladAppelbaum was signed up for a master’s degree to train both religious and secular teachers in Jewish tradition. She was eating lunch with a friend who was raised as she was in a religious Zionist home, and discussing their future plans. When he told her that he was studying for the rabbinate, she said she was going to be a teacher. He looked at her and said, “No. I demand that you should be a Masorti rabbi, a rabbi for Am Yisrael.” At 23, she wasn’t even aware that there were women rabbis in the world, that it was even a possibility. But her friend persisted. “That is what you were born to do.” For Elad-Appelbaum, this was a revelation that “threw me into a new story.” Knowing nothing of the different Jewish denominations, she started to read and learn. To her great surprise, “All the things I believed in do exist.” Her discovery of Masorti Judaism was a “most beautiful revelation.” She received her ordination from Machon Schechter in Jerusalem in 2005, and then spent time as the assistant rabbi to Rabbi Gordon

Tucker at Temple Israel Center in White Plains, New York. She says that her time in America, “gave me the courage to come here and re-dream Jerusalem.” She considers her creation of Tzion, along with her husband Yossi, who never anticipated being married to a rabbi, as “our lech lecha (going out, as God directed Abraham to leave his home and go to the land of Israel) call” to create a Jewish life of freedom in the state of Israel. To skeptical friends who wondered who would want to work with a woman rabbi, she replied, “We’ll figure it out. That is my job in life.”

y father fought in wars for Israel,” she says. In contrast, she sees her own mission as “bringing Klal Yisrael back to Jewish tradition.” She believes that the earliest years of Israel, the years involving the founding of the state, were “dedicated to the body.” Going forward, the coming decades should be dedicated “to the soul.” For Elad-Appelbaum, her generation’s task is to be the “pioneers of reviving the soul, to be the magshimim (the fulfillers).” Like her own Ashkenazi and Sephardi family, Elad-Appelbaum’s congregation brings together the “heritage of families that made us who we are.” The congregation honors three pillars of tradition: Mizrahi, Ashkenazi and Eretz Yisraeli,

in other words, the Sephardic, Eastern European and Israeli traditions. EladAppelbaum tries to speak a Klal Yisrael, language for all Jews. She says half her attendees are Orthodox and the rest are either secular or grew up religious but are no longer. The blend is unique to their minyan. She uses the word “tehiyah” to describe herself, meaning, bringing back to life and renewing an “ancient and moderate tradition.” She sees her work with Tzion as an historic mission. What makes Tzion so special? Musicians and liturgical poets, representing the latest craze in Israel, work with the congregation. Elad-Appelbaum is starting Israel’s first interfaith charitable cooperative. On Tu b’Shvat, the congregation went to an agricultural garden to plant with children and the community. Each Friday evening, a different member speaks about what Shabbat means to him or her to demonstrate “that we all have something to learn from each other regarding Shabbat.” Because in the past, Jerusalem has been “a sore point for many people and many feminists,” Elad-Appelbaum is proud to start a congregation there because “Jerusalem is the symbol of the belief in a Jewish dream, and a microcosm of what Jewish life could look like, davka, now.” CJ

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arts

When Hate Kills Schechter high school students mount a searing play about anti-gay violence by Gila Drazen

PHOTOS Top: As students from the Golda Och Academy in West Orange, NJ, perform The Laramie Project, a picture of Matthew Shepard stands watch in the background. Opposite Page: They’re high-school students in New Jersey, but here they portray alumni of Laramie High School in The Laramie Project.

n October 1998, a 21-year-old student at the University of Wyoming was beaten and left tied to a fence to die, the victim of an anti-gay bias crime. Fifteen years later, students at the Golda Och Academy, a Solomon Schechter day school in West Orange, New Jersey, presented The Laramie Project as their fall play. Written by Moisés Kaufman and members of the Tectonic Theater Project, The Laramie Project portrays the people of Laramie, Wyoming, as they react to Matthew Shepard’s death and the trials of the perpetrators and consider how to move on from these events. In the 14 years since its premiere, the play has become one of the most performed works of theatre in the United States; it’s estimated that 50 million people have seen a stage production or the film version. So what moved a Jewish high school to put on the play – in fact, to be the first Conservative Jewish school in the country to produce The Laramie Project? “In the past year and half or so our school has taken great strides in becoming a more open and welcoming environment,” said Jordan Herskowitz, Golda Och Academy’s director of student life and co-director of the play. “That began when our high school students started a Gay-Straight Alliance. Considering that the GSA was received in such a positive light and that our students wanted to take an active role in the awareness and acceptance of others, it seemed like a good time to put on The Laramie Project.” The play was written after hundreds of hours of interviews with the citizens of Laramie, whose words form the script. The Golda Och students portrayed ranchers, police officers, clergy, and parents and friends of Matthew Shepard – even members of the far-right Westboro Baptist Church, who came to the funeral to express their anti-gay beliefs. The thing that struck Herskowitz, though, was that “it really read like a murder mystery to

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the kids – they didn’t know how it ended. They knew he died, but not the specifics.” After each sold-out performance, audience members participated in a talk-back to discuss what they had just seen. Members of the cast and crew, school alumni, and community professionals (including rabbis and teachers) joined in these discussions. Herskowitz said the show “started great conversations with our students and families and communities about the difference between tolerance and acceptance of others, and about how it affects us in northern New Jersey.” After seeing the play, C. J. Price, director of North Jersey Pride, wrote in her blog, “This play was performed by high school teenagers. Kids who, judging from the wonderful panel discussion that took place post-production, clearly believe in

Kids believe that delivering this message is part of tikkun olam, the repair of the world. its message, who see their responsibility to promote not just tepid tolerance, but genuine, heart-felt acceptance, love and dignity for all people. Raised and educated within institutionalized religion, they believe that delivering this message is part of tikkun olam, the repair of the world.” Golda Och’s performing arts season also included a production of In the

Heights – the story of a DominicanAmerican community in the Washington Heights neighborhood of New York City. In discussing the year’s programming choices, Herskowitz said, “I think the biggest thing is that both shows talk about community and the importance of community and people that stand up for each other no matter who they are.” In The Laramie Project, a police sergeant says, “How could this happen? I – I think a lot of people just don’t understand, and even I don’t really understand, how someone can do something like that.” The goal of the production at Golda Och Academy was to help understand, to promote acceptance and to speak out. The plan, says Herskowitz, is to continue “focusing the students on their awareness of people’s differences.” CJ

Photos courtesy of Golda Och Academy

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the bookshelf By Beth Kissileff

A GUIDE FOR THE PERPLEXED Dara Horn W.W. Norton, 2013, 342 pages Dara Horn’s new novel is a multi-layered wonder, with stories taking place in three separate eras and parts of the world, all exploring the subject of memory and its storage. That one of the characters is Solomon Schechter, founder of the United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism and the first president of the Jewish Theological Seminary of America, gives the book an added dimension for Conservative Jews. (Horn, who has won two National Jewish Book Awards, is herself a product of Conservative Judaism.) The modern layer of the novel concerns two sisters, Josephine and Judith, whose story is a feminine retelling of the biblical story of two brothers at odds with each other, Joseph and Judah. Josephine, married to Itamar (a male variant of the biblical Tamar, who has a child with

THE ALEPPO CODEx Matti Friedman Algonquin Publishers, 2013, 320 pages Murder? Theft? Smuggling? International intrigue? This is a description not of a spy thriller but of a book about a Bible. And not just any Bible, but the oldest and most accurate version of the Masoretic text extant, once owned by the rabbi, scholar and doctor, Moses Maimonides. Matti Friedman’s The Aleppo Codex relates the history of this precious version of Judaism’s most sacred text. As Friedman explains, the codex was immensely valuable to our forebears, who as Jews in exile, without any political power, had only “a book that would connect them, wherever they were, to each other and to the power and protection of the King of Kings.” The Aleppo Codex, known in Hebrew as the Keter Arom-Tzova (Crown of Aleppo), was created in Tiberias, Israel, around 930 by a descendant of the Ben Asher family and the scribe Shlomo BenBuya’a. It was not written on a scroll as

a Torah would be, but on pages bound together, like a book. The purpose of this version was to ensure that Jews were all reading the same book, because as Friedman explains, “minor differences in the text could lead to diverging interpretations and a splintering of the faith.” Having an accurate version of the biblical text is still important in our day. The mystery Friedman tries to solve is why the codex, currently at the Israel Museum, which was known to have had over 500 leaves before it left Aleppo, now has 300. Where did the missing leaves go and who is hiding them? The book, which won a Sami Rohr Prize, offers a fascinating account of the Jews of Aleppo and others who came in contact with this text – former Mossad agents, a president of Israel, a cheese merchant, and antique dealers who will turn over secrets for a million dollars. All of Friedman’s writing and journalistic skills find a place in this spellbinding book.

Judah in Genesis 38) is the dazzlingly accomplished founder of a Facebook-like social media company called Genizah, which allows users to store all the events of their lives. Judith, the less successful sister, convinces Josie to travel alone to Egypt, despite its obvious dangers, to set up her system in the library at Alexandria. Complications ensue and Josie is cast, like her biblical progenitor, into a pit and jail. Another strand of the novel offers a fictionalized account of Schechter and the real-life twin sisters from Cambridge who convinced him to go to Egypt and examine the contents of the now famous Cairo Genizah, a synagogue storeroom that turned out to house a trove of secular and religious documents spanning 1,000 years of Jewish history. The Genizah, of course, is the historical equivalent of Josie’s computer program. That Schechter has a twin who chose a wholly different life by moving to what was

then Palestine adds another layer of sibling tales. The story line that reaches the farthest back in time is about Moses Maimonides’ decision to send his brother on a dangerous trip to procure an herb that will cure the ruling sultan. The story is yet another commentary on sibling relationships and memory. As Horn’s Maimonides puts it: “We choose what is worthy of our memory. We should probably be grateful that we can’t remember everything as God does, because if we did, we would find it impossible to forgive anyone.”

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SUNBURNT FACES Shimon Adaf PS Publishing, 2013, 472 pages Sunburnt Faces is Shimon Adaf’s first novel to be translated into English. Adaf is a phenomenon in Israel, thanks to his three prizewinning volumes of poetry and six novels, as well as for having been the youngest senior editor at the esteemed Keter publishing house. The 2013 winner of Israel’s most prestigious literary prize, the Sapir Prize, Adaf brings his gift of describing the world through a poet’s lens into his fiction. The beauty of his writing is obvious in this translation by Margalit Rodgers and Anthony Berris. The novel takes place in three parts. The first two concern ages 12 and 32 in the life of Flora (Ori) Elhayani, a girl of Moroccan origin who lives in the southern Israeli town of Netivot. As an adult, Ori moves to Tel Aviv and works in a used bookstore and then as a children’s writer. The charm of the novel is in seeing how Ori interacts with the world through the medium of literature, as well as the descriptions of both Netivot and Tel Aviv. As an adolescent, she hears the voice of God through a television set in the middle of the night and has to stop speaking for a month to cope with this revelation. Adaf cleverly blends the contemporary speech patterns and thoughts of modern adolescence with profound messages about how the Bible can be expressed in the modern world. There are snippets of children’s books that Ori has written – Double Doppelgangers and A Map to Getting Lost – in letters from a childhood friend. Readers also learn about Ori’s view of ’wonderlands’ in children’s literature, those mythical places hanging between childhood and adolescence, and her struggle to have meaningful relationships with her husband and daughter, despite her inclinations to keep to herself and pour her emotions into her writing. The final section of the novel, titled only with

the mathematical infinity sign, comprises chapters from a book that Ori read as a child and that may or may not exist, one of the book’s many fascinating mysteries. Adaf is both a serious thinker and an entertaining storyteller.

A BRIDE FOR ONE NIGHT: TALMUD TALES Ruth Calderon, translated by Ilana Kurshan Jewish Publication Society, 2014, 163 pages Even if you have never seen a page of Talmud, you will find something of interest and accessible in Ruth Calderon’s newly translated book, A Bride for One Night. Calderon, who holds a PhD in Talmud, is currently a member of Knesset with the Yesh Atid party. Since there was no place for a non-Orthodox woman to study and teach Talmud in Israel, Calderon helped create open and pluralistic study centers – Elul in Jerusalem and then Alma in Tel Aviv. Calderon takes 17 Talmudic stories and discusses them, in fictionally imagined settings and then in a more distanced academic tone. Her exposition of the texts is often striking, getting at core issues. How do two rabbis, father and son, who live for years in a cave learning Torah and hiding from the Romans, integrate themselves back into the world of deeds? Is the true world the one in the cave or the one of plowing and sowing, life on the outside? Calderon’s answer is instructive. “Ultimately, Rabbi Shimon bar Yohai and his son demonstrate that those who remain devoted to a creative cultural tradition will emerge victorious against any conquering power.” Calderon has indeed realized her goal to teach and to promulgate the creative cultural traditions of the Talmud. CJ

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the bookshelf

Something to Believe In A rabbi invites us to radically rethink what we know about God By Rabbi Elianna Yolkut

e read article after article, study after study, decrying the decline of Jewish commitment and connection. We hear that we are at a defining moment in Jewish history: record numbers of Jews marrying out, decreasing synagogue membership, and more people than ever finding themselves distanced from any Jewish commitment. Our days, it seems, are numbered. In explaining the cause of these developments, there is one aspect of the conversation that is glaringly absent. No one is addressing what might be our greatest challenge: God. Rather we are missing a clearly articulated vision of Judaism that reaches people in the depths of their souls and offers them faith in a loving, compassionate and renewing God who is ever

Elianna Yolkut is a Rabbi Without Borders who strives to bring comfort, Jewish wisdom and connection to people at all life stages. Ordained in 2006 by the Ziegler School of Rabbinic Studies at the American Jewish University, she was an adjunct faculty member there while serving as assistant rabbi at Adat Ari El in Valley Village, California.

present in times of challenge and who reflects what people know to be true in their life experience. Perhaps the absence of a serious articulation of God is why people are not drawn toward Jewish life and community. Rabbi Bradley Shavit Artson, who holds the Abner and Roslyn Goldstine Dean’s Chair of the Ziegler School of Rabbinic Studies in Los Angeles, offers a compelling response to this challenge in his new book, God of Becoming and Relationship ( Jewish Lights Publishing, 2013). He articulates a holistic approach to God and Judaism that may draw in even those with deep doubts. For Artson Judaism carries an ancient wisdom while at the same time is constantly renewing itself. The God Artson describes is a God of connection and hope. Artson expounds on what is known as Process Thought and its integration of religion, science, morality and dogma. Process thought refers to both process theology and process philosophy, a school of thought which sees existence, both human and Divine, as dynamic and becoming, or in other words, changing. While there are certain eternal aspects in the universe, such as God’s goodness and our free will, process thought suggests all existence is growing, changing and moving. These ideas set the stage for a new way for people to connect to

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GOD OF BECOMING AND RELATIONSHIP: THE DYNAMIC NATURE OF PROCESS THEOLOGY by Rabbi Bradley Shavit Artson Jewish Lights Publishing, 2013 Jewish theology. We no longer have to check our knowledge and experience at the proverbial Jewish door. Artson directly addresses the contradiction between the God we know and experience in our lives and the God we have been taught about through text and tradition. Process Theology rises up to meet us in real life. Why do bad things happen to good people? How can the Torah portray a jealous and vengeful God when the God I experience, or the God I seek, is loving and fills me with hope? Why does God care if I observe the mitzvot? Rabbi Artson notes, “A key shift in Process Theology is that God does not exercise coercive power. God exercises persuasive power. Process thinking asserts that God works through persuasion and invitation, through persistently inviting us to make the best possible choices.” For Artson, the nature of God’s essence is a lure toward goodness. This means at every moment there is God drawing us toward a choice which will manifest goodness in the world. God draws us into a covenant, a relationship in which we constantly are interacting. Artson shatters the

Learn more at www.rabbielianna.com Read an excerpt from God of Becoming and Relationship at www.cjvoices.org.

constraints that so many layers of history have painted on God. Those who have insisted that God is simple, unchanging and all powerful are no longer in control of how we experience and know God. Artson reminds us that the rabbis and the Bible portray God as vastly powerful but not as all-powerful. In Jewish texts, we see that God is at times angry, loving, surprised, or repentant. In other words, God changes and is impacted by our behavior. God thus is also “in process.” It is not only an overarching theology that Rabbi Artson articulates. He also confronts the question of evil and our struggles with disease and illness, natural disaster and global crises. “Understanding God as the pervasive creativity and novelty that permeates all-becoming invites us to stop thinking about the status of evil and to focus instead on how we fight for justice, well-being and compassion.” In this way, evil and suffering are not theological conundrums but instead a lure toward creating a more perfect world. Our suffering is not because God is punishing us nor is it even within God’s control. In the process view, the world is built and operates with its own inner logic, based on the physics of the universe. God cannot and does not suspend this order. However, through God’s retraction during creation – a concept much like the Kabbalistic approach known as tzimtzum – space was opened up for human free will. God created space for a developing, growing human agency. Without God’s retraction our choices would no longer be evolving and changing – and no longer our own. God and human beings are both susceptible to surprise, uncertainty and loss. According to Artson, “God is found not in the suspension of nature’s propensities…but rather in the abiding nature of hope and transforming power of love, a power that is persuasive not coercive.”

God can be found in our tenacity at facing these moments of change and tragedy, in our strength and courage. The only alternative is stasis – a static world and a static human being. In any contemporary theological discussion we must address the question of why: Why observe mitzvot? Why pray? Why make the Torah’s commandments a part of our life, and what does it all have to do with God? Artson writes, “Putting God at the center is how Judaism seeks to correct the distortion of our own selfabsorption… This shift of centrality is not about denigrating our uniqueness or worth. Rather, it is about deriving our value and contentment from our rootedness in relationship, in our connection with each other and all creation.” Each mitzvah is a blueprint for living a life where God’s lure toward goodness is at the heart of what we do. Doing mitzvot is the method by which we remind ourselves that we are in an eternal covenantal relationship with God, with communities ancient and new, and we experience the possibility of a life actualized in meaning and goodness. In an increasingly complex world, Judaism faces many challenges. God of Becoming and Relationship directly addresses how to use our faith tradition to bring people closer to Jewish life and community. Within that tradition, Artson articulates a God who is responsive and connected, a God who draws us toward the goodness inherent in each of us, a God who is in relationship with each of us. The God he shares is one who reaches toward us in times of sorrow and joy and lures us toward hope and persistence. Artson’s God draws us to a life of renewal and righteousness, toward justice and meaning. In opening up this God to us, Rabbi Artson gives us the capacity to reach out to others seeking a tradition of faith that reflects their real life experience and challenges. CJ

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united synagogue

briefs Learn About our Programs United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism strengthens, connects and promotes Conservative communities. We train today’s synagogue leaders, help find the next generation of leaders, help you engage teens and young families, offer cost-saving benefits, and much more. For information on programs and resources, email your name, your congregation and its location to info@uscj.org.

Powerful Voice for Schechter Schools Retires You may not know her name, but a major force behind the Solomon Schechter day schools is retiring in June. Dr. Elaine Shizgal Cohen, who for several years led the Schechter Day School Network, was honored at last month’s iJed Jewish day school conference for her work promoting and strengthening the

Schechter schools as well as United Synagogue, which has housed the network. A longtime educator and former head of school, Cohen led the 2011 rebranding of the association as the Schechter Day School Network and most recently led a strategic planning process that culminated in $2 million in grants to allow the network to expand its staff and enhance Schechter education. Dr. Steven Lorch, president of the network board of directors, said that Cohen – despite serving as the organization’s solo professional staff – had “orchestrated a quiet revolution” on the day schools’ behalf. This includes expanding collaboration among institutions and working with other day school networks to establish a new tradition of joint North American Jewish Day School conferences. Cohen also administered and promoted a fellowship which, thanks to an endowment given to United Synagogue, prepares rabbis for day school leadership roles.

Boot Camp for Synagogue Presidents It’s a little like childbirth – unless you’ve been through it, you can’t fully understand what it’s like to be a synagogue president. You can, however, be more prepared for the experience, which is why 54 new and soon-to-be presidents took part in an intensive four-day program last month called Sulam for Presidents. Developed and run by United Synagogue, Sulam – Hebrew for ladder – aims to turn committed synagogue members into capable, purposeful Jewish leaders. Sulam participants gain practical tools, like how to build an effective board, ensure sound financial management and manage both conflict and change. But they go deeper, as well, sharing ideas and personal experiences, and studying Jewish texts and values for insight into building a kehilla kedosha, a sacred community. Talking and learning together over Shabbat, they also build friendships and a network they can call on for advice. To learn more about Sulam for Presidents and other United Synagogue programs for kehilla leaders, go to www.uscj.org.

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For College Students, Winter Break in Jerusalem The future of Judaism depends on Jewish knowledge, says Rabbi Loren Sykes, and specifically, giving more young people the chance to acquire it. This past January, thanks to some generous donors, Sykes and United Synagogue gave 20 college students the chance to do just that, through an incredibly low-cost trip for study at the Conservative Yeshiva in Jerusalem. “This is a game changer,” said Sykes, director of United Synagogue’s Fuchsberg Jerusalem Center, of which the Conservative Yeshiva is a part. “It shows

that Jewish college students are not afraid of Jewish content – they actually want it.” With no advertising, 125 students applied for the 20 slots. The entire experience, including room, board, classes, and airfare, cost $300. Called Ta'amu u'R'u, or Taste and See, the 12-day program drew a broad mix of students, from those experienced studying Talmud to others who’d barely cracked a Jewish text. To a person, they found the experience deeply rewarding (and two students are now a couple). “This program was absolutely life-changing,” said

Jillian Mergruen of the University of Maryland. “It showed us what it means to be in an environment to learn just for the sake of learning.” United Synagogue hopes to raise enough funds to expand Ta’amu u’R’u to more students next year. Said Sykes: “We know that immersive Jewish experiences, to be successful, have to take place out of your regular milieu. What we offered was the trifecta – immersive Jewish learning, in an egalitarian setting, in Jerusalem.”

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No Devil in These Details The Pew study shows real challenges for Conservative Judaism, but also some remarkable areas of strength. by Rabbi Steven Wernick

arely does a document come along that grabs the attention of the Jewish community as much as last fall’s Pew Survey. But though I care very much about Klal Yisrael – the entire Jewish people – I’d like to talk here about Conservative Judaism and what Pew tells us about the health of our specific approach to Jewish life. I can hear what many of you are Rabbi Steven Wernick thinking: “I already know what the is CEO of the United Pew Report told us about ConservaSynagogue of Consertive Judaism – we’re in deep trouble!” vative Judaism. As my attorney friends say, I will “stipulate” that we face some troubling statistics. But for the past few months I’ve been digging deeper into Pew, looking beyond the sound bites for a more nuanced read on Conservative Judaism today. I’ve been helped by two eminent scholars, Alan Cooperman, who oversaw the Pew study, and Laurence Kotler-Berkowitz, director of research and analysis at Jewish Federations of North America and an adviser on the survey. Let’s start with those headline-grabbing numbers. According to Pew, 30 percent of American Jews do not identify with any denomination. Thirty-five percent identify as Reform; 18 percent as Conservative; 10 percent as Orthodox; and 6 percent as other. That 18 percent Conservative number was rightly disturbing to adherents of a stream of Judaism that once defined North American Jewish life. But there’s more to the story. As the Pew researchers will tell you, because they used different methodologies than previous studies (the National Jewish Population Survey of 1990 and 2000), their number for the total universe of American Jews was substantially larger than in the past. That means that the subset of Conservative Jews – an estimated 1.2 million people – seems smaller.

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Clearly 1.2 million still represents a lot of Conservative Jews. And while our percentage of the whole may be nothing to cheer over, it also may be understated. Still, there are some troubling numbers. Among those who identify as Conservative, the median age is 55 (compared to 54 among Reform and 40 among the Orthodox). What’s more, only 11 percent of Conservative Jews fall in the 18 – 29 age range, and only 16 percent in the 30 – 49 range. Plain and simple, we aren’t reaching enough young adults and young families. Another difficult truth: 30 percent of those in Reform congregations were raised Conservative. Why did these people leave? Pew doesn’t say, but a likely reason is intermarriage and the perception that Conservative synagogues are not very welcoming to these families. (See “Mixed Blessings,” p. 16) And what about our services and the sense of community we engender? I wonder if these are compelling to younger Jews who today primarily seek meaning and engagement.

here’s some good news, though, or more accurately, some important numbers that show us the strengths we can build on. For instance, look at people who belong to synagogues: here Conservative Jews make up 29 percent. Or look at intermarriage. Some 73 percent of Conservative Jews marry other Jews, compared to 50 percent of Reform and 31 percent of Jews identifying with no denomination. As for the next generation, 88 percent of Conservative Jews are raising children Jewish, compared to 60 percent of Reform and only 19 percent with no denomination. And finally, 30 percent of Conservative parents have their children enrolled in Jewish day school, and 50 percent in another kind of formal Jewish education, such as synagogue schools. In Reform Judaism the numbers are: day school, 9 percent; other formal Jewish education, 28 percent. Conservative numbers are similarly higher for participation in Jewish youth groups and camping, and for religious observance and support of Jewish communal organizations. Clearly, among non-Orthodox Jews, Conservative Jews stand out in their

commitment to Jewish living and to raising Jewish children. These are the strengths we must build on – and better articulate. For those considering joining a synagogue, we might say something like this: “If you join our family you will be part of a community committed to raising Jewish children and teaching them the values, ritual skills and ethics to build sustainable communities of the future.” We can also tell them that they will join a group of people for whom Judaism is a central source of meaning and identity. Weaknesses? We need to continue to discuss intermarriage and how we articulate a preference for in-marriage and welcome people when intermarriage occurs. We must better at connect with teens, young adults and young families. We must create synagogues imbued with a meaning, purpose and personal connection. We must feed hunger for Jewish learning. These are the imperatives shaping United Synagogue’s agenda for the next several years. I look forward to sharing details with you in the coming weeks and months. I hope you will join us in building on the real strengths of Conservative Judaism, and in shoring up its weaknesses. The Pew report, contrary to signaling our inevitable decline, offers invaluable knowledge for bringing those within and outside our communities closer to the richness of Jewish life. CJ

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Women's League for Conservative Judaism Visit us at www.wlcj.org.

It’s Time to Move Forward by Rita L. Wertlieb

s I write this, my final article for CJ, it is impossible not to reflect on how I have changed since becoming president of Women’s League. Over the past three and a half years I have experienced growth, transformation, and a new sense of independence I never felt before. The same holds true for Women’s League. Rita L. Wertlieb is We have grown, explored our options international and embarked on changes that will president of Women’s help this organization remain releLeague for vant. Over many months of exploraConservative Judaism. tion by a group of dedicated volunteers, we completed a new strategic plan to guide us into the future with an understanding of our members, and what we must do to maintain their commitment. The strength of Women’s League relies on the strength of our sisterhoods, so we explored ways to help sisterhoods attract new members while answering the needs of existing members. Their success is our highest priority. The mission of Women’s League is to perpetuate Conservative Judaism in the home, synagogue and community. While this has always been our mantra, we now realize that not every woman will find her place within a sisterhood, so we now are welcoming those who accept our mission as independent members. However, given the state of today’s Jewish community, the question of how we will continue to fulfill our mission remains. According to the much publicized PEW report, perhaps more than one-half of American Jews will marry outside the faith, and many will not marry until much later in life, if at all. If this is accurate, it presents a major challenge to our sisterhoods and to Women’s League. The composition of the “traditional Jewish family” has changed significantly and unalterably, and we must

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respond appropriately. We know that there are women within our synagogues and communities who are single, divorced, widowed, single parents, and who have blended families. This is what we call the real Modern Jewish Family. Through the development of our newest initiative, Modern Jewish Family, Women’s League is helping sisterhoods recognize and respond to the diversity of those living within our synagogues and communities. Women’s League has expanded its outreach to the unaffiliated Jewish women in our communities, along with those in our synagogues who represent this diversity. Sisterhoods need to open their doors to all women who accept our mission, welcoming them wholeheartedly. The focus of Women’s League sisterhoods must be to foster a comfortable and inviting atmosphere for every woman. On the Women’s League website (www.wlcj.org) members and friends will find an array of materials that focus on celebrating traditional and diverse families, while encouraging an environment that is both welcoming and inclusive. Read Conversation Pieces on our website and find out about the real struggles and conflicts that too many in our community confront on a daily basis. I share the same concerns as generations of Jewish women, of how to keep our children and grandchildren connected to their Judaism. By becoming informed and enlightened, our sisterhoods and individual members can begin a journey together that will strengthen our families, congregations and sisterhoods, ultimately ensuring their success and that of Women’s League for Conservative Judaism. Women’s League offers opportunities for growth and resources for transformation. Begin a dialogue in your community that will help us all achieve our goal as a network of Conservative Jewish women. The time to move forward is now! On behalf of all the members of Women’s League for Conservative Judaism – those in our 400+ sisterhoods and those who join as independent members – I wish you sweet Passover celebrations. CJ

The Torah Fund campaign was first launched in 1942 as a scholarship for JTS students. In 1963, it combined with the Mathilde Schechter Residence Hall campaign that provided housing for undergraduate students. Since then, Torah Fund has been a vital source of support for JTS, the Ziegler School of Rabbinic Studies, Schechter Institute and the Seminario Rabbinico. To learn more go to www.wlcj.org/about/torah-fund/

Don’t Leave Anyone Behind by Rabbi Lilly Kaufman, Torah Fund Director

hen Moses asked Pharaoh to allow the Israelites to offer the Pesach sacrifice in the desert, Pharaoh wanted to know who was going along. Moses made a simple statement, which became a great principle: b'n'areinu uv'z'keineinu neyleych (with our youth and with our elders we will go). Moses expressed a crucial idea, born in a moment of tense negotiation: we Jews stick together, and we don't leave anyone behind. Moses stood up for inclusion of all of Klal Yisrael when it wasn’t easy. How blessed are we that we are relatively secure, and we are the profound beneficiaries of a multiplicity of Jewish resources, most especially our extraordinary seminaries. I thought I knew our seminaries pretty well, especially the Jewish Theological Seminary, where I spent so many years as a student. But so much has changed, and despite trying economic times, the changes have been for the better. For example, the new Juilliard workshop and concert series at the H.L.Miller Cantorial School reflects some very creative curricular enrichment. In this twice-yearly program, musicians from Juilliard engage in master class workshops with JTS cantorial students,

and then perform in a public concert. The students from both schools share musical ideas, their creative processes and musical cultures. In one recent workshop, they compared improvisatory jazz moves with the improvisatory stylings of cantors. A thrilling project. At the Ziegler School of Rabbinic Studies there is also great innovation to report. Most especially, Rabbis Bradley Shavit Artson and Cheryl Peretz are leading the way in establishing the Zacharias Frankel College, a new rabbinical school in Potsdam, Germany. What an amazing achievement, a progressive rabbinical seminary springing up in a suburb of Berlin, just 70 years after the liberation of Auschwitz! And the German government pays the bills, as part of the European system of state-funded religion. I am also excited to travel the country as well. In May, Women’s League President-elect Carol Simon and I will visit the Ziegler campus as part of our visit to Women’s League’s Pacific Southwest Region. And by the time you read this, I will have attended events in BQLI, Seaboard, Intracontinental, and MetroNorth Regions. I would love to come to your region, and the sooner I receive a request for next year, the better!

It's here! the all new women's league website!

Easy to use reference material Special sections for sisterhood administrative teams Resource directory and much more

www.wlcj.org The online network for Conservative Jewish women.

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Women's League for Conservative Judaism

July 17-20, 2014 Hanover Marriott Whippany, New Jersey

kuju asueHebrw

Kodesh v’Chol: Balancing the Sacred and the Everyday F

or th e f irst ti m e , members of Women’s League will gather for an international convention during the summer and over Shabbat. As in years past, they will enjoy four days of outstanding speakers and leading scholars, inspiring services, valuable workshops, in-depth training and leadership development, region meetings and parties. All this, and an incomparable programs featuring Cantor Ronit with choices for services, study and relaxation.

our program features:

• Balancing the Sacred and the Everyday Keynote by Rabbi Gordon Tucker • A Look to the Future: Dr. Arnold Eisen and Rabbi Bradley Shavit Artson • Women, Israel and Jewish Identity featuring Rabbi Diane Villa and Rabbi Debra Cantor • Special Tribute to Rabbi Neil Gillman, one of this generation’s outstanding authorities on Jewish philosophy • A Shabbat experience to remember, with moving services and inspirational programs with special guest Cantor Ronit Wolff Hanan • Gala Jewels in the Crown presentation honoring our sisterhoods • Learning with Rabbi Judith Hauptman

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Don’t miss it! Visit the Women’s League website www.wlcj.org for a full schedule and registration information. Additional programing includes: Scholar-in-Residence Rabbi Judith Hauptman, E. Billi Ivry Professor of Talmud and Rabbinic Culture at JTS Speedfest: See how much you can learn about making your sisterhood thrive and how Women’s League can help. Innovative workshops for personal fulfillment Keep It Kind: Stop Bullying tikkun olam project Programming for sisterhood presidents Authors Corner Installation of officers and board

speakers Rabbi Gordon Tucker Senior Rabbi of Temple Israel Center in White Plains, New York, Adjunct Assistant Professor of Jewish Philosophy at the JTS Rabbi Bradley Shavit Artson Abner and Roslyn Goldstine Dean’s Chair of the Ziegler School of Rabbinic Studies Rabbi Diana Villa Lecturer at the Schechter Rabbinical School Cantor Ronit Wolff Hanan Music director, Congregation Beth Sholom, Teaneck, New Jersey

Rabbi Neil Gillman Professor Emeritus of Jewish Philosophy at JTS Dr. Arnold Eisen Chancellor, the Jewish Theological Seminary Rabbi Debra Cantor Spiritual leader of B’nai Tikvoh-Sholom in Bloomfield, Connecticut, who was detained for reading Torah and wearing a tallit at the Kotel Rabbi Deborah R. Prinz is the author of On the Chocolate Trail: A Delicious Adventure Connecting Jews, Religions, History, Travel, Rituals and Recipes to the Magic of Cacao

One day Judaica fair

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federation of jewish men's clubs

Technology and the Synagogue Can we balance our love of the newest technologies with the sanctity we want in our synagogues? By Rabbi Charles Simon

orth A m e ricans , i n general, and Jews in particular, should consider the fact that millions of people purchase every new iPhone model as soon as it is released. How does that impact us? Every month, as we are besieged by the newest technological advances, the standard issue notebook, pen and backpack are being replaced by Rabbi Charles Simon the smart phone, e-book reader and is the executive direc- laptop. The increasing prevalence of tor of the Federation of (and dependence on) these technoloJewish Men’s Clubs.. gies poses a number of questions for synagogue professionals. At a time when we are striving to preserve and teach the sanctity of Shabbat and our holidays, of sacred times and places, how do we stop and more fully enjoy our friends, families and Shabbat while our business and social worlds aggressively stress the contrary? Rabbis and congregants wince when cell phones ring during services and often mimic movie theaters by making an announcement, or several, requesting people turn off their cell phones before entering the sanctuary. While synagogues seek to create a place of intimacy coupled with a certain decorum, it is increasingly more difficult for those raised with smart phones to turn them off, leave their professional worlds, even for just a few hours, and relax and hopefully smell the roses. Synagogue decision makers need to distinguish between technologies that are disruptive and those that can be conducive to the values we are striving to preserve and teach. Synagogues could advertise that on the Sabbath even one’s phones deserve to rest! They could create special Shabbat phone depositories where people would leave their phones outside of the sanctuaries and still have access to them in a way that would not be disruptive to the congregation and would provide a brief respite for the owner.

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At the same time, it is important to realize the benefits that new technology provides. This past High Holiday season I heard several men and women in their 80s and 90s complain that the large print machzorim (holiday prayer books) were too heavy for them to use and they wished that tablets or e-book readers were available. Technology is impacting every religious stream. My father recently purchased an oven only to learn that it had a Shabbat cooking option. Imagine, a shomer Shabbat appliance! An Israeli company developed a smart phone for the religious community that limited which types of material could be accessed on the Internet. Technological advances aren’t going away. It behooves us to develop guidelines proactively integrating technological advances into our religious lives in a manner that maintains our traditional values and fosters comfort to an ever adapting community. We can distinguish between phone usage in the synagogue on Shabbat and the use of e-book readers that offer clearer, cleaner, lighter reading and are, at the same time, environmentally sensitive. An ever widening chasm exists between people and institutions who identify their prayer needs in a traditional manner and the growing number of men and women who lack the desire or the competence to be part of that culture. As a result, to attract others, synagogues have been forced to broaden their tents and introduce learners’ meditation and yoga services. Rather than viewing technological advancements as something that infringes and threatens our Shabbat and holiday culture we would be better served if we understood them as opportunities to enhance the values we hold so dear. Communities can more effectively reach out to their constituencies and potential constituencies in a manner that integrates the accoutrements of modern living in an appropriate manner into our sanctuaries. The halakhic questions surrounding these issues still need to be addressed. CJ

PROGRAMMING THAT MAKES A DIFFERENCE by Martin Melnick

ne of the most valuable assets of the Federation of Jewish Men’s Clubs is its Torch Award Program Library. The Torch Award Program has encouraged the development of over 1000 innovative programs and continues to recognize clubs that develop programs for building community and relationships while supporting the development of leadership teams. With a formal online application and judging process, the gold, silver and bronze winners are recognized at each FJMC international convention where many of the winning programs are displayed at the Program Fair. A searchable library of these programs is available to FJMC clubs which then adopt or adapt them in their own communities. Torch award winners are proud to display their plaques on their synagogue walls and to be recognized by their communities for their outstanding achievements. The FJMC also provides funding to seed selected programs that have broad international impact. Among those that FJMC has funded are:

Y e l l ow C and l e P rogra m t o "Remember the Six Million.” Since its inception in Congregation Beth Tzedec, Toronto, Canada, and Temple Ner Tamid, Peabody, Massachusetts, four million Yellow Candles have been distributed and lit and the program has become a worldwide remembrance event.

During the World Wide Wrap, initiated by the Brotherhood of Mishkan Tefila, Chestnut Hill, Massachusetts, and held every Super Bowl Sunday, men, women and students come together to do the mitzvah of donning tefillin. Many synagogues follow the minyan with breakfast and additional educational programming. A growing number of synagogues now Skype the wrap with their twinned congregations in South America, Europe and Israel. The Yad Shel Chai program begun by Jacksonville Jewish Center Men’s Club, Jacksonville, Florida, presents a beautiful yad, the “hand” used for guiding a Torah reader, to young people who regularly read Torah for their congregations. The personally engraved FJMC yad is presented after the teen’s 18th Torah reading. Build a Pair, developed by Beth El Men’s Club, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, invites 5th to 7th graders to create and put on handmade tefillin at their congregation’s World Wide Wrap event. Students learn about tefillin, construct tefillin in which they place Hebrew script that they write, insert ’straps’, and create ’wRAP’ songs to sing during the World Wide Wrap. While the Torch Award has evolved since its inception in 1952, it continues to provide recognition for innovation as well as to serve as a source of information and inspiration for FJMC’s clubs. CJ

WHAT’S HAPPENING FOR YOUNGER MEN The life force of an organization must be sustained or the organization itself will slowly cease to exist. One important issue is how to attract new blood. With this in mind, the Federation of Jewish Men’s Clubs has created a Torch Award category entitled Programming for Young Men to respond to this need. A variety of creative ideas were shared during the most recent FJMC biennial convention. The men’s club of B’nai Torah Congregation, Boca Raton, Florida, developed a program to encourage younger men to become more involved in Jewish learning. On an organized hike, a rabbi led a discussion connecting the week’s parashah with environmental issues. This activity helped to connect a strictly intellectual experience with both a physical and spiritual awakening. At Temple Torah, Boynton Beach, Florida, the young cantor offered liquor tasting classes. (Before cantorial school, he was a bartender.) The classes, held during the week to not interfere with family weekends, covered the processes of making various liquors and then tasting samples of each. Two other clubs took advantage of members who had expertise with alcoholic beverages. At Beth EmethBais Yehuda, Downsview, Ontario, an expert craft brewer paired samples of small production beers with food items. At Temple Israel Center, White Plains, New York, another expert connected various styles of ales and lagers to European Jewish history and Jewish contributions to the art of brewing. The men's club of Beth El Synagogue Center, New Rochelle, New York, partnered with the congregation’s Families Initiative Committee for a family campout on the synagogue grounds. The overnight included activities, campfire and sleeping in tents, which became a "camp-in" thanks to the weather. Another program of the Temple Israel Center men’s club was for children and their fathers. A club member discussed his exploits and activities during the Second World War. This led to greater interest in learning about the involvement of Jewish men in World War II and a connection with West Point. Finally, the men’s club of Temple Israel of Natick, Massachusetts, set up a photo booth at the congregation’s Purim carnival to reach out to the next generation. This was a way to expand the club’s data base while providing a service to its members.

Martin Melnick is Executive Vice President of the Connecticut Valley Region and was Torch Award Chairman at the 2013 FJMC Convention.

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MIXED BLESSINGS

fjmc

For more information about Hearing Men’s Voices: www.fjmc.org/content/hearing-mens-voices

Hearing Men’s Voices halted by order of the Police! Hearing Men’s Voices (HMV) engages men in Jewish life by building male relationships and extending Jewish community. A program of the Federation of Jewish Men’s Clubs, HMV facilitates intimacy among men through dialogue as men meet in groups to discuss common issues. Over the years, the quality of HMV events has been rich and enjoyable. The following is Aaron Ginsburg’s report about an unusual HMV event.

hen I arrived for an HMV event at Temple Israel of Sharon, Massachusetts, brotherhood after driving through deserted streets in a snowstorm, I saw six cars neatly parked and thought how macho it was that so many guys had shown up despite the driving conditions. Apparently the local police also thought we were being macho…a little too much macho. We were discussing why men don’t seek health health care, and had just reviewed a study of the most common excuses men give for not going to the doctor, all very similar to the ones the attendees had given. Somebody said he didn’t go to the doctor because his mother said that he would be okay if he just had some of her chicken soup, which brought on a lot of laughter. That’s when we heard a siren and noticed the flashing blue lights through

the windows. Soon came the knock at the door. The no-nonsense policeman who came in told us to get our cars off the street. There was some puzzled muttering as we slowly complied. It was slow because we had to dig our gloves and hats out of the pile and make sure that each person got his own shoes. A few people thought they heard the officer mutter under his breath, “Don’t let it happen again.” It turned out that there was a snow emergency. Parking was banned on the streets to facilitate plowing. Fortunately one of the attendees lived nearby and offered his spacious driveway, which ended up holding six of our cars. We then stumbled back through the snow to get some more insight into our behavior as well as nosh on cookies accompanied by tea and coffee and schmoozing! CJ

There are now six separate major volumes/titles of the Hearing Men’s Voices program: Our Fathers, Ourselves Body and Spirit: Men Staying Healthy and Fit Listening to God’s Voice, Let’s Talk About It (Keruv) Work and Worth Jewish Men at the Crossroads

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continued from page 19

than their Conservative and Orthodox counterparts. Pew also found that just 60 percent of Reform parents were raising their kids “Jewish by religion,” as compared to 88 percent of Conservative parents. “Part of the story,” says Wernick, “is that people who find themselves in Conservative kehillot do so because there is a substantial difference in the commitment of the members to raise Jewish children, and to be surrounded by other people who are raising Jewish children.” Still, by dint of the movement’s commitment to halakhah – Jewish law – Conservative communities have to face questions about intermarriage head-on. That’s not easy. Many rabbis told some version of the following story: they help raise a kid; they love that child and his or her parents. But when that young person grows up and comes to them with a non-Jew he loves and cherishes, they cannot attend, let alone perform, the wedding. The experience can be wrenching for everyone. There is a practical issue here, too, which is that the rabbi who weds a couple has an opportunity to develop a relationship with them and bring them into his or her synagogue. At a major moment in a person’s life, and a major moment when Jews choose a synagogue, Conservative rabbis have to turn many young couples away. It’s here, perhaps, that we arrive at the limitations of keruv, for the simple reason that welcoming alone cannot lower the rate of intermarriage, nor explain to rabbis how to remain involved in the lives of the interfaith couples that they know and love (or whose parents they know and love). Nor can it help those couples navigate all of the challenges of living an actively Jewish life.

ecently, a number of Jewish leaders have been proposing other methods to address intermarriage. One approach, championed by Jack Wertheimer, a professor at the Jewish Theological Seminary, entails developing more programs to encourage

Jews to marry other Jews. “Nobody imagines that it’s possible to eradicate intermarriage in an open society,” Wertheimer says. “The question is whether more Jews can be helped, encouraged and educated to decide that they will marry a Jew.” Wertheimer worries that a policy of welcoming has led Conservative communities to neglect their support for endogamy. He suggests everything from singles events to free subscriptions to JDate. For others, including Wertheimer, a renewed emphasis on conversion might be another option. Today, a number of Conservative leaders are considering ways to make that process more welcoming. (See p.20)

n theory, an embrace of keruv, a renewed emphasis on conversion, and the development of programs to help make Jewish matches are not mutually exclusive. In practice, though, they can be difficult to balance. Advocate too vigorously for endogamy, and you can drive away interfaith couples. Push conversion, and you might scare someone away from living Jewishly. Focus on keruv, and you may not assert the values of Jewish marriage. And, of course, every individual couple is unique. What brings one person to a Jewish life might alienate someone else. Keruv, conversion, JDate, a commitment to endogamy, and a commitment to welcoming the newcomers in our communities: how do we negotiate that balance? The best people to ask, perhaps, are the interfaith couples themselves. That, in part, is the idea behind the Two Faiths/One Family initiative, being piloted by Rabbi Adam Greenwald, the director of the Miller Introduction to Judaism Program at AJU. Greenwald taught Patrick and Jessica’s introduction to Judaism class. The Two Faiths/ One Family program doesn’t have a particular agenda. The idea, as Greenwald explains it, is to bring interfaith couples together in a relaxed, non-judgmental place where they can talk about “the blessings and challenges of their relationships.” Before the first meeting,

intermarriage {NET Jewish}

83% 37%

of married Jews who grew up with only one Jewish parent are married to a non-Jewish spouse

of married Jews who grew up with both Jewish parents are married to a non-Jewish spouse

(per Pew Research Center 2013 Survey of U.S. Jews)

Greenwald was nervous. He wasn’t sure if anyone would come. He was hoping for a dozen people. More than 30 showed up. Traditionally, the focus of interfaith efforts has been on synagogue policies and attitudes – both important topics, of course. There have been few efforts to engage young Jews in conversations about relationships, both before and after they find a partner. “We talk about intermarriage a lot,” Greenwald notes. The conversation, though, is often in the abstract, without focusing on the individual experiences of an issue that is, at its core, deeply personal. “That kind of ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ ends up being toxic for the community,” Greenwald says. Certainly, the desire to ask and tell seems to be strong. “I think that the number one thing that congregations can do is invite people to talk about this openly and without judging,” says Jessica. Patrick agrees. “If a shul has an interfaith group, or even, like Jessica said, has a non-threatening public discussion without an agenda, just welcoming the presence and the voice of interfaith couples or Jews by choice, it makes a huge difference as far as welcoming.” Phil and Karen Platcow, a couple in Brookline, Massachusetts, say that early in their relationship, an interfaith discussion and support group was an important part of what helped them build a Jewish home. Tellingly, perhaps, the group was run by a Reform synagogue.

One Conservative synagogue that does have a group for its interfaith couples (among other participants) is Tifereth Israel in Columbus, Ohio. Eric Woodward, the assistant rabbi, launched the group last year. Woodward is himself the child of intermarriage and his wife is a Jew by choice. The group at Tifereth Israel is called Eitzat Yitro – in English, “advice of Jethro,” a reference to Moses’ probablynot-Jewish father-in-law. The program has already drawn considerable interest. Not all the attendees are in interfaith relationships, and the goal, more broadly, is to talk about Jewish identity. “We’re trying to engage people in serious conversations about what it means to them to be Jewish,” Woodward explains. “One of the ideas of the group is that it’s a non-judgmental space. I think that’s really important, and I think that sometimes rabbis can be judgmental even when they don’t think they are.” Woodward affirms the Conservative stance on not performing intermarriages, but his focus, above all, is on engagement. Regardless of a couple’s background, he asks, “How can we take love between people and try to transform that to love of Torah?”

or young, unmarried Jews today, the conversation about intermarriage can sound overwhelmingly negative. A focus on the demographic dangers of intermarriage downplays the intrinsic value of a Jewish marriage. It also evokes old tensions. “I know people who have been told by their parents that they shouldn’t date nonJews, and when asked why, they’re told certain things, like, ’Non-Jews won’t treat you as well,’” says Rabbi David Booth of Congregation Kol Emeth, in Palo Alto, California. “That’s bigotry. The answer to the question is, because it’s so wonderful and critical to build a spiritual life together, and religion is something that brings couples together, and if it’s bringing them apart, that’s very destructive to the relationship.” The degree to which the Conservative movement successfully addresses intermarriage will, perhaps, be

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the degree to which it articulates the values of a Jewish family and a Jewish marriage, even as it welcomes couples of all kinds. For non-Jews entering our communities, that kind of explanation can actually be helpful to hear – better, certainly, than an unexplained policy of semi-welcome. Before he had considered conversion, Patrick McCormick remembers feeling hurt and confused when he learned that his rabbis would not be able to officiate at his wedding. Greenwald sat down with him and explained that a Jewish marriage was a legal proceeding, and that Conservative rabbis are unwilling to make a contract between two people when one of them has not formally bound himself to its laws. “I think that made a lot of sense to Patrick,” says Jessica. United Synagogue’s Wernick describes intermarriage as a “historic” challenge. Ed Feinstein of Valley Beth Shalom, who has begun a listening tour in order to gauge his congregation’s feelings on intermarriage, agrees. “The bigger context of this is that we’re at a moment of tremendous change for the Jewish people,” Feinstein says. Through intermarriage, we encounter larger questions about the boundaries of our communities and the future of Jewish identity. We also encounter larger questions about marriage. “There’s a 50 percent divorce rate,” says Feinstein. “The question is, what aren’t we doing to prepare people to get married?” Wernick, for one, is excited for the conversation ahead. “This is one of the most important challenges that the entire Jewish world faces,” he says. “The issue is not going away. So let’s ask the tough questions. We can put our heads in the sand and ignore it, or we can say, we’re going to grapple with this head-on. And that willingness to struggle with tough topics, I think, is a very Jewish thing to do.” CJ

from the blogs continued from page 6

task of being God’s partner. Every day – we must find avenues to renew our faith and strengthen our conviction. Every day – we get to choose. Choose wisely. Choose Jewish. Rabbi Joshua Rabin “A B’nai Mitzvah Birthright” When I look at the landscape of Orthodox Judaism today, I see a heavy investment in day schools, youth groups, gap-year Israel programs, opportunities for intensive Jewish study, and outreach (keruv) programs on college campuses that dwarf any comparative effort by other denominations. Making a long-term investment in immersive Jewish education makes a statement that a generation of welleducated, passionate Jews well-versed in Jewish practice and literate in Jewish texts are the best bet for a bright future. And indeed, Orthodoxy’s bet paid off in big ways. In theory, the Conservative movement should be able to place the same bet, as every Conservative Jew knows that our greatest gems are found in USY, the Schechter day schools, and Camp Ramah. Furthermore, it is inspiring just to imagine how our movement would be transformed if we fostered a realistic expectation that every child in a Conservative synagogue should participate in USY, Schechter or Camp Ramah, should seriously consider spending a gap-year in Israel after high school on a program

54 CJ – Voices of conservative /masorti judaism Spring 2014

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like Nativ, and know that immersive study of Jewish texts in an egalitarian yeshiva will pay dividends for the rest of their Jewish life. However, the reality is that the total number of teenagers who currently participate in USY, Schechter and Camp Ramah is a drop in the bucket compared to the number who could. Furthermore, the cost to participate in any one of these programs can be prohibitive, and impossibly expensive if participating in a few. As a result, if the Conservative movement wants to bet the house on immersive Jewish education, we need to transform the conversation around these programs, making it a question of when, rather than if, a child will participate in them, yet that conversation that cannot begin until we address the affordability roadblock. Joel Chasnoff “On Stand-Up Comedy and Halakhah” I approach jokes the same way Conservative Jews approach halakhah. The stereotype is that Conservative halakhah (law) molds itself to the will of the people. (Jews are eating Kraft American Cheese? Guess what – it turns out there’s not enough rennin in American cheese to make it treif…so b’tayavon!) But this couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, the Conservative approach to halakhah is to take a traditional statute, examine related texts and precedents, and then use 21st century logic to generate a sound and supported interpretation. It turns out this is the same formula I use to create jokes: I start with a wellknown concept. I examine it. Imagine the implications of taking the concept to an extreme. And keep on extrapolating until I reach an absurd (albeit completely logical) conclusion. The result is that my jokes actually appeal to Conservative Jews – and particularly to Conservative clergy – on two levels: the punchline and the process. It’s as if the idea of grappling with logic is so embedded into the consciousness of the Conservative Jew that that it influences how she (or he) looks at the world at large – jokes included. CJ

siddur express continued from page 13

the boxes so thoroughly that they became almost solid tape. The next leg of the journey was for me to schlep them about 40 miles to Kent, Washington, which is where the shipping process begins.From Kent, they headed south by truck to the Port of Long Beach, onto the carrier Econocaribe and then on an ocean voyage to Uganda. In early March, I heard from Rabbi Gershom. The siddurim had arrived in Kampala! Unfortunately, he needed an extra $350 in "clearance" fees and help covering the cost of his trip to the capital. Thanks to the money Rabbi Kaplan had given us, and an emergency grant from United Synagogue, we were able to cover both costs. Old editions of siddurim too often wind up in the genizah, a burial ground for sacred books. But in this case, siddurim that were used now be treasured by Jews in a part of the world almost unimaginable to most of us. Congregation Beth Hatikvah in Bremerton, Washington, and Rabbi Kaplan’s synagogue, Temple Israel in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania, will now have a link to the Abuyadaya community in Uganda. As we learn in the Talmud (Shavuot 39a): Kol Yisrael arevim zeh bazeh (All Israel is responsible, one for the other). What started as my fervor to clean out closets turned into something else altogether. I had begun to think I had started on a Mission: Impossible. I almost gave up a number of times. But each time a new glimmer of hope would arise. It seems to me that miracles do happen in our day. It’s just that sometimes, there’s a lot of schlepping involved. CJ

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the last word

The Minyan Maker By Saul Golubcow

n Thursday evenings I serve as “minyan captain” at Congregation Beth El, in Bethesda, Maryland. When my father passed away in 1986, I committed to coming to services daily for 11 months to recite the Kaddish because, growing up, this practice was bred in my bones and those of my contemporaries. As I attended the daily minyan, I learned a good deal about myself, my place in the Jewish community, and how the individual and the community reciprocally support and make each other stronger. After the 11 months ended, I found it impossible not to come whenever possible to evening minyanim, eventually earning the requisite bars for a “captaincy.” The Kaddish is not so much a prayer for the eternal well-being of the departed but rather an expression of zidduk hadin, justification of God’s actions. It is an insistence that despite life’s bad events, by joining with others in the community experiencing the same loss, pain and even anger, we praise God’s rightfulness and find ways to cope, discover reliance, and build for the future. To do so, we very much need at least 10 Jews to form a quorum for the recitation of certain prayers, including the Kaddish. That a daily minyan is motivated by the need to support those saying Kaddish should not be a source of disappointment in our motivations for praying. Whatever the reason, coming together with other Jews as a minyan forms a caring, reciprocal community of shared emotions, interests and supports. As the Talmudic sages may have said, kal v’chomer, even more so, if Jews come to shul when in need of this community, then should we not respond, “Hinnenu, we are here, what time does the minyan start?” The reality is that death does bring many to services, but I believe that it’s the everyday matters of life knitted within the minyan experience that sustain them. The death of a loved one is always a shock. Whether one is comfortable with the service or has had limited exposure to Jewish prayer, at the beginning of the mourning period each of us arrives bereft and alone. But in a short period, for those who continue to come, the minyan unites the mourners with each other and with the rest of the community. The Kaddish, with its Aramaic, lilting cadence takes us back to when we were children and may have held the hands of parents and grandparents, not knowing exactly what it meant, but aware that something important, something serious, was being said,

56 CJ – Voices of conservative /masorti judaism Spring 2014

enfolding us within its rhythm. Saul Golubcow is I think our Jewish hearts yearn the Thursday night for a sense of the haimish, a minyan captain sense of the old-fashioned, not at Congregation the sentimental or reactionBeth El, Bethesda, ary, but something wholesome Maryland. and vibrant, something redolent of a child’s hand in the squeeze of a caring parent. Jews find this shared memory and experience as they come together in the minyan. The phenomenon of the minyan’s regulars – the community within a community – never ceases to make me smile. Those who come regularly form a club with open membership, and each new arrival ensures the club’s existence into the future, beyond when someone’s period of mourning ends. The club meets before and after the service with a repetitive agenda: how the day went, the difficulty of the commute, the well-being of family members, vacations, entertainments, and the ease or difficulty of having made this minyan. Watching and listening, I am amazed at how the mundane can rise to the level of the exceptional and even the holy. What I sense unites the regulars across gender, temperament, socio-economic, or political differences is that they bring their personal sense of haimish out of their past into a present in which they are constructing their own future memories and reflections. Those with younger children feel pride as role models for the next generation. When I was saying Kaddish for my father, my son, then two years old, would come and roam around the chapel. At moments, I felt uneasy that he might be distracting others, but then I would look at the adults’ faces and see smiles of connection as hands gently reached out to pat his head. I am pleased that there are often not enough regulars so that we count on the commitment of other congregants to make at least 10. Shortly before the start of the service, there can be a tinge of tension wondering if we will make it. Usually, a last minute surge brings the others that we need. In the few instances when we don’t make 10, a disappointment settles within those present, as if there is something amiss with the orderliness of our Jewish world. As a community, we pride ourselves on gemilut chasadim, tzedakah, and tikkun olam. I maintain that these noble objectives, which buttress our vision of being personally responsible for building a more perfect Jewish world, may be realized through commitment to our daily minyanim. CJ

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