DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE A FRAUD?

Rob Moore is a triple best-selling property author, public speaker, entrepreneur, and multi-million-pound property investor. robmoore.com

That you are going to be ‘found out’? That you don’t deserve it and will inevitably lose it all? That you are not good enough to maintain your current, or any lasting, success? Do you ever think you’d better get out or give up, because it will all fall apart soon enough… That no matter how well you do, it’s never good enough? Do you often give up at things you are good at so you don’t have to live up to the pressure and expectation? So ‘they’ have a label for all that, and it has become a ‘thing.’ ‘Impostor syndrome’ (also known as impostor phenomenon, impostorism, fraud syndrome or the impostor experience) is a psychological complex where an individual doubts their accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a ‘fraud’. Despite external evidence of their competence, those experiencing this phenomenon remain convinced that they are frauds, and do not deserve all they have achieved. People often feel like an ‘impostor’ and it’s interesting that this is not a mental disorder but almost has a label that sounds like it is. The causes of this feeling include: l Low self-esteem and confidence. l Strong fear of failure, despite (m)any achievements. l Feelings of inadequacy. l Perfectionism paradox, where a desire for perfection leaves us dissatisfied with our actions or paralysed into inaction.

l High self-importance or unrealistic expectations that set up feelings of failure. l Potential for public criticism, punishment or shame for making mistakes. l Conditional worth or love, only gained through high achievement or success. When I started investing in property, we had about five minutes to enjoy it before the 2008 recession. Investors and companies dropped like flies but we were young and lean (in terms of overheads) and although it was hard, it didn’t affect us as badly. We survived and became relevant almost by default. The upside being we learned a lot, kept overheads low and saved. But it created fears in us that it could happen to us next time, that we were lucky and that we didn’t deserve (and hadn’t earned) our elevated position. We found a downside to everything! But these ‘impostor’ emotions also served to keep us humble and hungry, and to remind us to plan well for future challenges and disruptions. To further deal with and defeat your impostor feelings, try the following: l Manage your self-importance and expectations so that they are better balanced/more realistic. l Focus on giving value and helping others. l Make a list of 50–100 great things about you and why you deserve success. l Stop comparing yourself to others in an unbalanced manner. l Know that nothing you do or do not achieve defines who you are. l Get clear on your vision and legacy and how you want to be remembered. l If impostor syndrome gets loud, write it all down as personal therapy. l Know that nobody knows what you are thinking, feeling and fearing inside. l Practise owning, thanking and being grateful for your victories, successes and compliments. l Ask for help and share your feelings with professionals, friends, advisors and mentors. l Know that we are all struggling with self-worth, even your idols and huge celebrities. If you have impostor emotions, naming them as external ‘things’ can compartmentalise them and banish them as literal impostors that don’t have a space in your head. (Beware of labelling them so much that you give them an identity and start to take ownership of them.) “People often feel like an ‘imposter’ and it’s interesting that this is not a mental disorder but almost sounds like it is.”

Each time a fear of being found out rears its ugly head, think of all the things you will gain the more successful you are, and all the things you will lose by letting the impostor talk you out of your goals and self-worth.