THE ILLUSION OF YOUR THINKING

THE ILLUSION OF YOUR THINKING Is feeling uncomfortable such a big deal?

That awkward feeling, which discourages us from moving forwards, is part of our human experience yet has nothing do with who we really are or what we are capable of.

Feelings of discomfort can often derail our endeavours and can keep us limited within the boundaries of what we think feels ‘comfortable’. However, this is a totally subjective and individual experience. Our concepts of ‘comfortable’ are founded on changeable, fluid thoughts which ebb and flow and shift. Feelings of discomfort are often rooted in fearful and insecure thinking and learning to see through the illusion of insecure thinking is the key to smashing through that discomfort- and moving way beyond it.

Your insecure thinking is not the truth Insecure thoughts come and go like the wind and change over time. We all have stories that make up our view of who we are. All events in life are neutral and hold no ‘truth’ until we add in our stories and unique thinking into the mix, creating our experience. We can all think of something that used to freak us out but then during a real experience with it, we have discovered it’s actually not real. For example, a while ago I had some insecure thinking about doing live videos. It felt so uncomfortable… but I gave it a go and something interesting happened. Firstly, I survived to tell the tale! Secondly, I actually received some great feedback and encouragement to do more; so now my experience tells me that my insecure thinking wasn’t an actual reality. Start to understand that your insecure thoughts are not a truth. Ask yourself what stories have you made ‘truths’ and how are these holding you back?

Embracing Self Doubt From a place of chaotic thinking, you are more likely to experience self-doubt than from moments of calm and clarity so if you find yourself caught in the grip of self-doubt, there is a good chance that your level of clarity has dropped and your thinking is less aligned with reality. Be aware of this. What if you embraced self-doubt as an invitation to examine your state of mind rather than embracing your insecure thoughts? ‘Endorsing’ the insecure thoughts just feeds them further so, instead of fuelling them, gently shift your perspective and open up a space for more wisdom, common sense and reality to emerge. Try to really see that you are just caught up in your ‘thinking’ and are just experiencing an insecure thought and that this can, and will, change. A different relationship with feeling ‘uncomfortable’ It’s not so much about making the insecure thoughts disappear or changing them into different ones (although this will happen as a by product of this understanding) but it has everything to do with forming a new relationship with our fears and self-doubts. It’s about wising-up to their illusory, transient nature so that when you see them as ‘less of a big deal’, you can feel ‘uncomfortable’ and know it’s still OK to move forward, without risking your wellbeing.

Natalie King is an Ashridge Accredited Coach, speaker and experienced facilitator with over 15 years coaching experience. Natalie is dedicated to helping individuals to drop their stories and embrace life more fully and is a passionate advocate for mental health. thisonepreciouslife.co.uk