BIELA

GESPIN – GESTURE & SPEECH IN INTERACTION – Poznań, 24-26 September 2009

Verbal and nonverbal coping with difficult topics Aleksandra Biela-Wołońciej University of Warsaw, Institute of Applied Linguistics ul. Browarna 8/10, 00-311 Warszawa, Poland bielajol@wp.pl a.biela@uw.edu.pl

Abstract What happens in our minds when we talk is revealed not only – or sometimes not at all – in our words, yet, it is not only gestures that expose our mental processes, but our whole communicative behavior – which becomes especially visible when the conversation matter is a difficult one. The paper presents results of a detailed analysis of Polish and English video recorded interviews on hospice care, taking into consideration the verbal level (the level of directness), prosody (e.g. pauses), and the non-linguistic behavior (gestures, eye and lip movements, including micromovements) when the word ‘death’ or its functional equivalent was uttered. The verbal level illustrates the processes of coping with a difficult message, manifested by the strategies of using – or refusing to use – language masks when approaching a taboo. The observed typical sequences of nonverbal behavior before, during, and after utterances, and the two basic communication patterns (solemn and chaotic) indicate the processes of mental and emotional preparation for an utterance (collecting information, selfsupport), the attitude of sharing, hesitation, decision making, and a withdrawal or comforting oneself. The same processes take place in communication on any subject, yet, they seem to intensify when the topic requires emotional or cognitive effort.

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Introduction

Death remains one of the most difficult topics to talk about, for emotional, social and cognitive reasons: we fear it, we want to be polite to others, and we don’t quite grasp its mystery and multidimensionality. Yet, we cannot avoid talking about it at least occasionally. And when we do, our verbal and nonverbal behavior reveals our mental and emotional efforts to cope with the most difficult elements of the conversation.

The interaction between gesture and speech, and gesture and thought, is of interest to psychologists (Kępiński 1977), sociologists (Goffman 2003), and linguists, especially cognitive (McNeill 1992, Antas 1996; 2006, Załazińska 2001). Also, various attempts are made to make use of it in practice (O’Connor, Seymour 1990). The present paper is in line with all these apporaches, and takes a wider scope in that it examines the broader context of this interaction and includes prosody, as well as a detailed frame-by-frame analysis, including micromovements of the face (lasting less than half a second, often noticeable only in single frames).

The aim of the analysis was to find out if speaking about a difficult topic, i.e. death, differs from speaking about other topics, and – if so – how, as well as to discover particular behavioral patterns and strategies for dealing with, and going around, a difficult element of a spoken message.

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Methods of analysis and materials

The material analyzed (made available by The Warsaw Hospice for Children) comprised English and Polish video recordings (20 cassettes, over 15 continuous hours). The English ones were 3

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films about the institution of hospice, home care and breaking bad news to patients and families (originally from St Christopher's Hospice and St Luke's Hospice, UK, supported by Marie Curie Home Education Department), and two TV programs on death and near-death experiences. The Polish ones included 12 cassettes of full rough recordings of interviews with hospice staff, family and children (filmed to produce a program about the hospice, palliative home care, and breaking bad news), and 2 live TV programs about hospices. The total number of relevant speakers was 39 (16 staff, 20 family of patients, 3 patients). In the analysis I focused on moments when the speaker was about to utter a phrase referring to death (over 200 times): observing the ”total” behavior just before, during, and just after uttering the relevant expression, and considered the relative change in the manner of speaking and behaving when the speaker changed the subject from neutral to emotionally involved (i.e. when he or she started/finished talking about death). Although slight differences between English and Polish were observed at the verbal level of communication (BielaWołońciej, 2009b), the scope of the present article was to focus on the interation betwen the verbal and nonverbal level – which seems more universal than verbal strategies alone, as it reflects deeper and less conscious processes. Hence, materials in English and Polsh language were treated jointly when considering the nonverbal level of communication (especially that both languages belong to the European culture). A comparative cross-cultural study of nonverbal strategies would require different methodology (a quantitative analysis, far more respondernts and data).

The assumption as to the level of controlling one’s message was that the verbal level generally expresses the most conscious element of the message (is the most self-controlled element), other acoustic features (prosody) reveal the semi-conscious (partly self-controlled), while the nonlinguistic level exposes the often unconscious attitudes, emotions and mental processes (least self-controlled). Thus, the parameters of analysis included all three levels of communication. The linguistic features of the message concerned the verbal level: syntax (complete/incomplete clauses, coherence, long/short sentences), vocabulary (interjections and “empty” words oh, well, strongly emotional words, hyperboles, direct language, literally referring to death, vs. indirect language, using masks1, e.g. circumlocution, impersonal forms, euphemisms, metaphors, index-words, etc.), humor/joke, changing the subject, refusing to talk at all. The nonverbal paralinguistic/prosodic features included: pitch (higher/lower), volume (louder/more quietly), speed, pauses, stammer (faster/slower, repetitions, stammer continuing/interrupted), focusing on relative changes for each speaker (each had an individual style/manner). The nonverbal nonlinguistic features concerned: the body (also micro-movements), eyes (direction up/down/to the sides, stability/movement, its frequency and direction, blinking frequency, tears), face (tensed, stone-like, laugh/smile, lip movements, other expressions), head movements (frequency, direction), hand gestures (more/less, type), and other, such as cough, clearing one’s throat, shoulder movements, etc.

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Results

First of all, the observations confirmed the assumed change in one’s general communicative behavior around difficult expressions/concepts, which was manifested in various ways2. Some features were universal (such as pauses and blinking), while other ones concerned more individual characteristics.

At the verbal level, especially in situations of emotional arousal (revealed by nonverbal behavior and the context), all but one speaker used language masks of various types to cope with

1

Language mask is a term to describe various linguistic (and behavioral, including nonverbal) means which have the same function as masks in culture (Biela-Wołońciej, 2009a). Their key role is to pretend, i.e. simultaneously conceal and reveal the message, by selecting aspects to be hidden and aspects to be highlighted – thus, profiling the message in a desired way. They are used mainly to protect (the sender, the recipient and/or the message) in „good” or „bad” intention, for emotional and social reasons, such as politeness, mitigation, or to manipulate and impose a message, but also to express the otherwise inexpressible, to provide entertainment, to copy the reality, to express a message more clearly.

(Certainly, not all cases of indirectness are masks – only those with the more or less conscious intent to profile the message.) Although it may not always be obvious when the speaker uses indirect language for the sake of style or “rhetoric”, and when for the sake of masking, yet, masking is much more frequent when talking about death or other sociolinguistic taboo topics – which makes mask a relevant category in linguistic analyses.

2 A detailed quantitative-qualitative description of the analysis is to be found in Biela (2001).

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Aleksandra Biela-Wołońciej: Verbal and nonverbal coping with difficult topics

the concept of death. The most common indirect ways of expressing death were metaphors (especially pass away and odejść, but also passing, to fall asleep forever, to leave, ginąć) metonymies, (e.g. hope: to give hope, to kill hope, no hope, this hope, etc. meaning life or hope for life).

The most universal prosodic feature was pausing before, and mostly also after, the most difficult word or phrase, e.g.3: 1) more chances to live than to /PAUSE/ leave this world 2) is it already /PAUSE/ that moment?

3) one experiences what is /PAUSE/ one’s threshold /PAUSE 4) the child /PAUSE/ dies /PAUSE

3.1

Eyes

The micro-movements, such as eye movements, are much less conscious in comparison to prosody and hand gestures. Another universal feature was observed at the interaction between the verbal level, the prosody, and the nonverbal behavior. During pauses in the verbal message, the speakers generally blinked more and moved their eyes, while during an utterance they looked directly at the hearer, especially when uttering the most important word(s), which means that personal contact was important to address the message directly to their partner, iconically creating a “channel”.

Many speakers looked up and round when searching for a way to express a difficult concept or trying to remember facts, which indicates the mental process of searching and collecting information (contacting one’s visual memory and visual imagination). Some speakers had a tendency to look down when they focused on their feelings – just before or after the most difficult phrase – to contact their inner world and emotions. Some speakers occasionally looked to the side in-between an emotionally difficult sequence of words, which may indicate a desire to retreat from the uncomfortable situation or seek support in the surrounding world. Looking to the side is also associated with acoustic perception and memory (O’Connor, Seymour 1990), but in this case it might simply be a way to avoid eye (thus, personal) contact. Examples of relevant eye movements: 5) she /PAUSE/ fell asleep /PAUSE/ forever eyes straight /eyes to the side/ eyes straight /eyes to the side/ eyes straight 6) it is

/PAUSE/ /eyes move up and round/

7) tell the ill child that /PAUSE/ eyes straight /eyes go round/ 8) say that eyes straight

3.2

/PAUSE/ /eyes down/

inevitable death eyes straight

/PAUSE/ /blinking/

is awaiting eyes straight

we can’t help any more eyes straight

General sequences and patterns

When the speaker was being direct about death, the paralinguistic behavior, although more varied/intense, occurred almost exclusively during pauses in-between the words most directly expressing the concept of death. The above tendency was very characteristic, especially regarding the relation of pauses and eye movements, and may be summarized in a general pattern. Table 1 shows parallel the verbal level of the message (top, italics), the simultaneous non-verbal behavior, the mental and emotional processes, and the suspected purpose of the given activity.

3 The notation used here mentions relevant elements of communication: words, pauses, and body movements which were part of one’s communicative behavior. The verbal message and pauses appear in the first line in italics. When a comment to the verbal level is made, it appears below the element it refers to. An underlined phrase is accompanied by a hand gesture described below (as in Antas, Załazińska 2004). If more levels are analyzed and commented simultaneously (e.g. verbal, non-verbal and mental/emotional), for the sake of clarity, they appear in the form of a table, the italics bolded.

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Table 1: General sequence of behavior during pauses and utterances (from let to right) [VERBAL LEVEL]

word/ phrase

/PAUSE in-between/

most difficult word/phrase /final PAUSE/

[NONVERBAL LEVEL]

-eyes straight -no motion -tensing muscles

-blinking - eye, hand, head, body movements -deep breath, etc.

-withdrawal into one’s own world and feelings -collecting, information remembering -comforting oneself -decisions what/how to say to prepare

-eyes straight -no motion -tensing muscles

[MENTAL AND -communicate EMOTIONAL -passing PROCESS] information -contact with the listener [PURPOSE] to share

-blinking -eye, hand, head, body movements - sigh, etc.

-communicating -passing information -contact with the listener to share

-withdrawal into one’s own world and feelings to calm, comfort

In general, two basic patterns of behavior (shown in Table 2) were observed where the speakers talked about death. The first one, called solemn/dramatic, appeared when the speakers referred to their deepest personal experiences concerning death, while the other pattern, called chaotic/nervous was observed when they mentioned the concept of death while referring to other emotional situations, e.g. contacts between the staff and patients.

Table 2: Language Patterns 1 and 2 in emotional situations concerning death.

FEATURE

SPEED PITCH VOLUME PAUSES SYNTAX – COHERENCE GRAMMATICAL CORRECTNESS SENTENCE LENGTH GESTURES EYES GENERAL IMPRESSION

3.3

PATTERN 1 “solemn / dramatic” (personal experiences) slower lower more quiet more frequent more coherent more correct shorter no gestures or the same one repeated (beats) looking straight static

PATTERN 2 “chaotic / nervous” (general facts/opinions, personal) Faster Higher Louder less frequent less coherent less correct longer, incomplete more gestures (various types)

less

more eye movements Dynamic

Interaction of the verbal and the nonverbal

When it was difficult to express an issue, while looking for the right word, many speakers were straightening their back, shoulders, head, in various directions, making hand gestures, etc., which reflected what was happening in the speakers’ minds (adjusting, searching). When the speakers were thinking how to express a certain thought, their eyes and hands made various movements, and when important words were being uttered, speakers looked straight, as if creating a channel to transfer the message. In general, the nonverbal behavior supported what was said with words, e.g.: 9) about /PAUSE/ non-existence, /PAUSE/ passing into /PAUSE/ non-existence / / / / rolling hands illustrate passing / / 10) I couldn’t tell an ill child: listen, tomorrow you’ll die / PAUSE / PAUSE / shaking head /standstill/ pursing lips, tensing hands/ 11) they were such /PAUSE/ eyes straight /eyes down, blink, lips pursed /

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his last moments /PAUSE (difficult phrase) /lips pursed

Aleksandra Biela-Wołońciej: Verbal and nonverbal coping with difficult topics

Another speaker, when saying “although it is cruel”, was helplessly looking at his open hands. It is an example where the various levels of the message “split”, and the eyes seem to actually communicate with the hand gesture expressing helplessness, accompanied by the verbal comment, as if they were independent beings.

3.4 Before an utterance When preparing for an utterance, the typical sequence of nonverbal behavior revealed the processes of remembering, collecting information, contacting oneself and, finally, the interlocutor (Table 3): Table 3. Preparing for an utterance: eyes eyes up → [rememberin g]

eyes make circles → [collecting information]

eyes down → [focus on own feelings]

eyes straight → READY TO [focus on the interviewer] SPEAK

The typical sequence of preparations to start an utterance (e.g. answer a question) often involved several attempts at speaking, e.g. interjections, and various unarticulated vocalizations.

3.5

After an utterance

Immediately after a difficult word or phrase often occurred a pause when the speaker stopped motionless, followed by an emotional withdrawal or comforting oneself (autoadaptors), expressed by licking one’s lips, gulping, etc.: 12) PAUSE/ hm /PAUSE/ difficult period of /PAUSE/ bereavement /PAUSE /licking lips 13) PAUSE/ blinking/

hm /PAUSE/they were the last moments of Peter /PAUSE/hm /PAUSE blinking /gulping/

Sometimes after a difficult phrase one’s whole body remained motionless, as if frozen by the power of the uttered word, and then the eyes moved to the side to contact one’s emotions, as if in escape: 14) which is

death -higher volume -hands open up -eyes straight

/PAUSE/ /whole body motionless/

of a child -eyes to the side

3.6

Decison-making and changing The decision-making process regarding how to express a difficult concept was visible at the verbal and nonverbal level, by longer pauses, interjections and characteristic micromovements before the relevant phrase. In some cases, speakers hesitated between the masked and unmasked way of expressing the crucial concepts, and changed their mind about it during an utterance. The interaction of the verbal and nonverbal aspects in a typical sequence of behavior illustrates the mental and emotional process, as seen in Table 4.

Table 4. Decision making [VERBAL LEVEL]

maybe it’s that

[NONVERBAL LEVEL] [MENTAL/

various gestures active communication

EMOTIONAL PROCESS]

that PAUSE

yyy

that, that

PAUSE

less gestures

Pitch lowers

deep breath

concentrate

decision- gain making strength

5

interjection maintain verbal contact

eyes down

he’s no longer among the alive ones indirect phrase

back to one’s inner world communication of emotions

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The decision-changing process had two basic versions. The first one was when a speaker changed his/her decision in the middle of an already started phrase, interrupting it and starting another one, usually more masked, as seen in Tables 5 and 6.

Table 5. Decision changing my sister, who... neutral phrase

SUDDEN PAUSE eyes down

aaa

well,

she didn’t survive that

interjection, eyes straight

phrase expressing death

PAUSE interjection, eyes to the sides

eyes down

Table 6. Decision changing PAUSE eyes up – to collect images from visual memory

I accompanied him then, when eyes straight – to establish contact

SUDDEN STOP withdrawal from the direct phrase “he was dying”

PAUSE eyes to the side, searching an alternative

I accompanied him in the last moments of his life repeating the phrase in a masked version

The other case of decision changing was when the speaker repeated the same message in a less (or more) masked way, as if self-translating it (it is analyzed in Biela-Wołońciej (2009b)).

3.7 Clash of the verbal and the nonverbal One speaker, a patient, was trying to cope with the tension related to the topic (and the embarrassment about being recorded), by using no indirect language. While verbally she declared no tension, yet, nonverbally she revealed it by unconscious playing with a soft toy, as autoadaptation (Antas 2001) to ease the tension. And the reverse, when at the verbal level she expressed a quite dramatic message, nonverbally she consciously expressed ease and carelessness (by smiling, shrugging her shoulders), attempting to mask, ease or tame the tension at the verbal level: 15) it wasn’t difficult for me, I can talk about death, although/PAUSE/ sometimes I talked about suicide fiddling with a toy /smile/ smiling 16) my mum never talked with me about that when it was the worst /PAUSE/ but... shrugging her shoulders twice / Elsewhere, the same speaker dealt with the tension by “teasing” or “charming” the interlocutor: 17) PAUSE/ when I feel much worse... why not die /PAUSE/ after all, it’s better there /PAUSE/ smile/ provocative look at a befriended nurse, to check reaction // teasing smile

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Conclusions, inspirations

Our thoughts, mental processes and emotions are visible not only in our words, but also in our voice, mimics, gestures and overall communicative behaviour. Our communication about difficult topics follows characteristic sequences of behaviour. The typical sequences of communicative behaviour when talking about a difficult subject follow two basic patterns: nervous/chaotic and solemn/dramatic. The paralinguistic behaviour expresses the mental and emotional processes of formulating and conveying an message in communication, which is especially visible with difficult topics. Observing the totality of one’s communicative behaviour (e.g. whether the verbal and nonverbal levels mask or support each other) it is possible to see how/whether the speaker is comfortable talking about a difficult topic. An interesting continuation would be a reverse study of how the respondents’ messages are perceived.

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Aleksandra Biela-Wołońciej: Verbal and nonverbal coping with difficult topics

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