From the Editor
T
his is an exciting month for us at Cognition because not only do we celebrate Mothers Day, we also celebrate Mental Health Awareness Month! As you may already know our publication is designed to promote mental health awareness and wellness from an entertaining standpoint. We encourage all of our readers to become educated on mental illness and gain access to care. Too many lives have been lost and too many Malcolm Armstrong Jr. individuals are living undiagnosed. Reduce the stigma, think about it and talk about mental illness openly with family and friends because it’s ok! This issue is also special because we have dedicated it to mothers from all walks of life. It is always a pleasure to celebrate women and to commend them for their roles as mothers. To all mothers and advocates of mental health, I wish you the best and as always think mind, think body, think YOU!
Yours in #WELLNESS, Malcolm M. Armstrong Jr. Founder & Chief Editor marmstrong@cognitionmagazine.com Follow us on twitter: @cognition_mag Like us on Facebook: Facebook.com/cognitionmagazine
2
Sponsored By
3
4
22.
2. Editor’s Note 8. Your Child & Addiction 11. Health & Fitness 15. Ask Dr. Ada
17. Cover Story: Kourtney Heart 21. Love & Relationships 22. What Blacks Should Know: Mental Health Awareness Month
27.
24. Sexual Health: 17.
5
Get Your Groove Back Busy Mom 25. Event Coverage 27. Be Inspired
6
7
Your Child & Addiction
P
By: Victoria Malinsky, B.A. ,A.A.
atients in recovery and their families suffer from poor care and social ostracism because of ignorance. The topic of addiction has become nothing but a plague of myths and misconceptions, in attempt to keep kids away from drugs. However, the reality is all we have done is make it harder for addicts to want to seek treatment and confide in their family members that they need help. No one ever wants to see a loved one suffer. The question is what do we do?
8
“What is the best thing you could imagine from changing your ways?”
Tip #3- Be empathetic. It’s very important to be compassionate and in order to do so you have to engage in reflective listening. This entails listening carefully, then respond with statements like: “Sounds like you don’t want to stop.” Or “If things remain the same, what do you think you will feel like a year from now?” Winston Churchill once said, “Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.” Often times, when we confront a loved one about addiction, we do so in an unreasonable manner. The fact of the matter is, doing that only causes more harm than good. Any individual who suffers from addiction will just fight back, because from their perspective you either don’t understand or are “being ridiculous.” At this point it is vital to understand that both of you have conflicting views. So, if you want to effectively approach the situation, it’s essential you be reasonable. Allow me to clarify what consists of being reasonable with some tips.
* Reflections validate what they are feeling (regardless of whether or not they are under the influence), and doing so communicates to them that you comprehend what they’re saying. Ex: “I understand this is putting a lot of pressure on you and you aren’t sure if you can quit successfully, this isn’t easy, but that’s what we’re here for.”
Tip# 4- Be patient. If your son or daughter expresses a lack of motivation to change, remember that this is a Tip #1- Communicate with respect. You’re more likely state of mind and not a trait. In order for someone to to discuss the topic when you ask questions as opposed change, one must undergo stages to finally reach to lecturing them or telling them they have to change. acceptance. This is key for treatment to be successful. Tip #2- Engage in “change talk.” Rather than lecturing about the importance of and reasons why they need to make a change, open conversation about a resolution and what they need to do to get to it. This means having them tell you reasons why changing their behaviors is needed. “Change talk” addresses the discrepancies between their words and actions in a non-confrontational way. Ex:“Why do you think we’re concerned about your behavior?” “What will happen if you don’t change?” * If there seems to be a difficulty in changing, focus on being supportive and understanding. Ex: “How can we help you through this difficult experience?” * If you see that they’re expressing little desire to change, talk about possible extreme consequences. Ex: “Say you don’t change, what do you think will happen?”
9
* You can force your son or daughter to go to treatment, but if they have no motivation to change this may be a wasted effort. Be prepared for a probable relapse. * Technically, you can force your minor child into treatment. Again, if they have no desire for change, relapse is likely.
Tip #5- Give them advice. No one likes to be told what to do, taking the role of an advisor rather than a dictator will likely benefit a positive outcome. Give them the opportunity to make the right choice. As stated above, if they choose sobriety on their own they are more likely to succeed. Optimistically they will choose a better life. * Declaimer: This article is written as advice to parents not as an ultimate solution. Seek professional help when needed. If the person poses a threat to themselves or someone else report them to the proper local authorities. For more information on how to help a struggling alcoholic/addict please call Your First Step 855-211-7837 or visit yourfirststep.org.
10
Health & Fitness Knowing Your Caloric Needs To either lose weight or maintain your To compute your BMR, you multiply the previous calculation by current weight, you need to know how your body fat level multiplier. many calories your body actually needs to function based on your daily activity 150 pound male with 18% body fat (level 2) level. There is a relatively easy way to BMR = 1632 x .95 = 1550 calories estimate your daily caloric need starting with your basal metabolic rate (BMR). 150 pound female with 29% body fat (level 3) Your BMR is the amount of energy BMR = 1469 x .90 = 1322 calories (calories) expended while your body is at rest. Remember, your BMR is your resting caloric expenditure. When your body does work, it expends energy and calories. To calculate your BMR, you will need to convert your bodyweight from pounds to To estimate your daily caloric expenditure based on your activity Cory Turner, B.S., CFT kilograms. 1 kilogram is equal to 2.2 level, there is yet another multiplier. pounds; so, if you weigh 150 pounds, you would divide 150 by 2.2, which would equal about 68 Very light activity: sitting, light walking, and non-strenuous kilograms. Next, you multiply your weight in kilograms by 24. Then activities throughout the day, multiplier: 1.3. take that number and, if you are a male, use 1 as a multiplier; or, if a Light activity: which includes typing, some walking and female, use 0.9. standing throughout the day, multiplier: 1.5. For example: Male weighing 150 pounds: 68 kg x 24 = 1632 1632 x 1 = 1632
Moderate activity: walking, jogging, tennis, dancing, weight training, and other-type activities, multiplier: 1.65.
Heavy activity: heavy labor, climbing, football, and other activities for 2 to 4 hours a day, multiplier 1.8.
Very heavy activity: moderate and heavy activity for 8 or Female weighing 150 pounds: more hours a day, plus 2 – 4 hours of intense training per 68 kg x 24 = 1632 day, multiplier: 2. 1632 x .9 = 1469 To this number you will have to multiply your lean factor multiplier. So, if you are the male with a BMR of 1550 calories who falls under To obtain this number, you will have to know your body fat the moderate activity category (1550 x 1.65 = 2558), you would percentage. You can get this number by any number of ways, expend about 2,558 calories each day. including caliper measurement, underwater weighing, and bioelectrical impedance. The female with a BMR of 1322 calories who falls under the light activity category (1322 x 1.5 = 1983) would expend 1,923 calories Bioelectrical impedance devices can be found in many electronic each day. You can use these numbers as a baseline to maintain, gain, home scales, but readings should be taken as mere estimates as or lose weight. results vary greatly based on hydration factors. For men, lean factor multipliers are, by levels: 1. 10% to 14% Body Fat 2. 14% to 20% Body Fat 3. 20% to 28% Body Fat 4. Over 28% Body Fat
Multiplier: 1 Multiplier: .95 Multiplier: .90 Multiplier: .85
For women, lean factor multipliers are, by levels: 1. 10% to 18% Body Fat 2. 18% to 28% Body Fat 3. 28% to 38% Body Fat 4. Over 38% Body Fat
11
Multiplier: 1 Multiplier: .95 Multiplier: .90 Multiplier: .85
Working with a Louisiana licensed nutritionist, you can vary your caloric intake to reach your intended goals. It is important to eat a balanced diet consisting of fats, protein and carbohydrates, based on your individual activity level. In many instances, the nutritionist is an overlooked component to health; and in reality, he or she can be the most important component to success. Bio Cory Turner is a freelance writer and an ISSA Certified Fitness Trainer in New Orleans. A former law enforcement officer and nonprofit leader, he has a keen interest in health and fitness, especially in promoting community health and wellness and empowering through improving personal fitness. He can be reached at coturner@fpnola.com.
Health & Fitness Healthy Eats
Top 5 Reasons to Embrace Sunset During Your Workout 5) It’s After Work: Working out during sunset is perfect for after-work stress relief. The traffic is low and the kids could be at home doing homework while you exercise. Try it with some of your co-workers.
Gentelle Pedescleaux
Microwave Sweet Potato Chips Ingredients: 1 (14-ounce) sweet potato, very thinly sliced, divided 1 teaspoon finely chopped fresh rosemary, divided 1/2 teaspoon salt, divided 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper, divided Cooking Spray
Preparation: Cut a circle of parchment paper to fit a microwave-safe plate; coat parchment lightly with cooking spray. Arrange one-fourth of the potato slices in a single layer on parchment. Sprinkle evenly with 1/4 teaspoon rosemary, 1/8 teaspoon salt, and a dash of pepper. Microwave at POWER LEVEL 9 for 4 minutes. Check for crispness. Continue to cook at 30-second intervals until done. Repeat procedure with remaining potato, rosemary, salt, and pepper. Credits: By: Robin Bashinsky of Cooking Light Link to Recipe: http://www.myrecipes.com/
recipe/microwave-sweet-potato-chips50400000127541/
12
4) Enjoy Family & Friends: It’s after 5pm and everyone is usually off of work and the kids are out of school. This is the perfect time to exercise with family and friends. 3) Regain Composure: Sunset exercise is a great time to regain focus for the days and weeks ahead. Try a brief meditation during your cool down. 2) Rest Better: A good workout during sunset can promote a better night’s sleep especially since it’s the end of the day (assuming you’ve had a busy day).
1) Low Heat: The number one reason to exercise during sundown is enjoying the benefit of reduced heat. Please keep in mind that it is equally important to stay hydrated even though the heat is minimal. Gentelle Pedescleaux is a certified Zumba™ instructor and dance fitness instructor with extensive knowledge on nutrition & fitness. Her incredible dance & fitness techniques have enabled her to instruct in Germany and the southern region of the United States. For more information on Gentelle and her classes at PEDS-Nola contact her at 504-606-5389
13
Dispelling the Myths about Hospice Gulf South Hospice would like to take a minute to inform the community about the importance of outpatient hospice. Within this 6 month series of informative articles, Gulf South Hospice hopes to eliminate the myths, phobias, reservations, and even ignorance surrounding hospice care. We can surely agree that hospice can be a difficult subject because our culture is not fond of talking about death and life transitions. We must understand that death happens to everyone, even the ones we love. Hospice is a family and team oriented program that brings comfort to individuals/ patients faced with limited life expectancy. Hospice ensures that the patients last days consists of controlled pain, comfort and constant efforts to preserve their quality of life. Hospice not only involves care for the patient, but it also provides support for his or her family members as well. Hospice care assist families in coping with the life transition of their loved one for we know that losing someone we love is not an easy task. Gulf South Hospice would also like you to know that hospice is not a “death-bed� concierge service. Hospice care consists of a concise plan for the last 6 months (usually longer) of a patients life. Once a patient has been notified of having limited life expectancy, hospice initiates care to relive physical pain and to address life transition needs. Let Gulf South Hospice be at your side for the care of your loved one during their time of need and life transition. The sooner hospice care is initiated, the more comfort your loved one will experience. Let us be there for you. 14
Ask Dr. Ada Dr. Ada Craige Roberson is a dedicated wife, mother and advocate for those in need. She is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker within the state of Louisiana and holds a doctoral degree in Counseling Psychology. Ada has a wealth of experience in working with disadvantaged individuals and has taken the term “Life Enhancement” into a whole new meaning within the social services industry. Her ability to truly understand human behavior has allowed her to transform the lives of many individuals, some of which were hopeless in the eyes of society. She loves a good piece of fine chocolate, a good challenge and stimulating activities. If you have an issue you would like to bring to Dr. Ada’s attention please email askdrada@cognitionmagazine.com or make a post on the Ask Dr. Ada page on www.cognitionmagazine.com
Dr. Ada Craige Roberson
Dr. Ada, I started dating someone that I am thinking about getting into a relationship with but I know mental illness runs in their family. I enjoy this person but they can have a negative self image/low self esteem at times and that kind of worries me. Should I pursue the relationship or hold off? Thanks, Confused One
Confused One, If you have any reservations for any reason regarding entering into a relationship with someone, I would suggest you hold off. Now, the fact that someone has a family history of mental illness doesn't automatically mean that they will suffer from mental illness themselves. However, you should indeed be concerned about the self esteem issues. Low self esteem can be damaging to relationships, particularly as it relates to one’s ability to add value to the relationship. Healthy relationships require both partners to have the capacity to bring something meaningful to the relationship that serves some benefit to the other person. When one of the partners have low self esteem, it will likely be difficult for them to feel as if they have anything beneficial to bring to the table. In turn, their expectations regarding being worthy of receiving anything meaningful and beneficial to them in the relationship are likely relatively low. This can take quite a toll on the relationship, ultimately leaving the partner with the healthier self image feeling unfulfilled and in search of a more emotionally compatible partner.
15
Dr. Ada, I am 27 and really confused on love. I ended a relationship and now dating again and I want to run and scream. My ex is now an irresponsible hippie and the potentials remind me of Norman Bates. Is there hope for the dating world or should I just join a convent now? P.S. no I’m not trying to find love in the club either…I’ve tried coffee shops and libraries and the all end up being somewhat abnormal to me. –Gina G. Gina G., There is definitely hope for the dating world. No need to join the convent just yet. If you haven't already done so, I suggest that you spend some time figuring out what you're looking for in a mate. It may be helpful to actually write down your requirements. Try making three columns with the following headings: 1) Must have... 2) Would like... 3) Deal breakers... Do your best to place everything that you're looking for in a mate or that you can't live within a mate, under the appropriate column. Once you're done, look at everything that you have placed in the "Must have..." column and think about what someone with those qualities may be looking for in a mate. For example, you may feel that your ideal mate must own his home. What type of women do you think that guy would want? Someone who has her own place or someone living with their parents? As you go through your list, assess if you are bringing to the table what your ideal mate would be attracted to in the various areas you have listed. If not, you have two choices. You can work on becoming what you want to attract, or you can revise your expectations. Good luck. What is the best way to rid you of negative thoughts? I have been trying to be optimistic about my new business venture but negative thoughts keep popping in and I want to have a better outlook. – Ms. Bodywrap Ms. Bodywrapz, It sounds like you may be experiencing some anxiety related to your new business venture. Entering into something new, while exciting, can also being forth fear related to the uncertainty. That fear can often lead to feelings of anxiety. There are several techniques that you can use to try to combat negative thoughts, including positive self talk, affirmations, deep breathing techniques, and meditation. However, one of the main ways that you can have a better outlook on your new business venture is to be confident that you are prepared and capable of making it a success. Have faith in yourself and your business. Plan and prepare for anticipated bumps in the road. Dedicate yourself to making sound, reasoned business decisions. It may even be a good idea to find a mentor that you can lean on and learn from.
16
Kourtney Heart... Mom & MUSIC
Interview by: Malcolm M. Armstrong Jr. Images by: Q. Bleu Photography Hair by: Hair Artistry by Ashlee Rene’ Makeup by: Lynn Dizzle
C
ognition Magazine spent a picturesque day in the park with NOLA’s sweetheart songstress Kourtney Heart and her mom Marilyn. The young rising star tells us about what keeps her motivated and focused as well as her relationship with her mother.
17
CM: Who is Kourtney Heart? KH: I'm still figuring out who I am in life. I'm in love with discovering new things about me and working hard to perfect my craft. I'm just a young woman with a lot of ambition. CM: When and how did you know you could sing? KH: Since about the age of three years old I've been singing. I figured out that it was my gift at eleven just singing around the house and with my daddy. CM: Tell us about the experience and the process of being discovered by DJ. Raj Smoove. KH: I was about thirteen attending a teen center for non-violence camp and there was a celebrity look alike dance. Whoever won the contest won money. I went as Beyonce Knowles, won the contest and decided to sing instead of giving a speech. Raj loved my voice and saw potential. He got my mom’s number, ignored me for a few months, but fate brought us right back together. That's when spell it out was born. It's been magic ever since. CM: How did the release of your first single “Spell It Out” change your music career? KH: Spell it out definitely helped me understand the music industry a little better just because it was my first single on the radio. It was the beginning of me having confidence and being excited to work harder. CM: How did you feel hearing yourself on the radio for the first time? KH: Hearing myself on the radio for the first time was super weird. I kinda go numb when I'm excited; it was a blessing. My family was so excited. I'm so thankful that my grandparents got to experience that moment, one of the best moments of my life.
18
CM: How did you balance school and music? KH: Balance wasn't easy at all. It took double work and extreme focus. I had to switch to online schooling during the second semester of my senior year. But walking across that stage for graduation made all those late nights of studying worth every second. CM: Is Kourtney Heart dating? (Why or why not?) KH: I'm currently single only because I'm too in love with the music. Besides, I love a guy who can match my hustle. The time will come, just no time soon lol. CM: How was the journey of becoming “Kourtney Heart” for your family? KH: It's weird how that happens. I believe that my family is still trying to comprehend the whole Kourtney Heart thing. They're so happy and proud of me and pray for me every day and night. I'm grateful that they still treat me the same. My siblings could literally care less lol. CM: Who kept you on track in your family and how? KH: I give all credit to Momma Heart! That woman has taught me so much in life and she continues to teach me every day. I'm so in love with the woman my mother is. She allows me to talk to her about any and everything and that keeps me balanced. It’s good just having someone to vent to so you don't feel alone during transitions in your life. She taught me to be fearless and has kept me strong in faith. I forever thank God for sending me to her. CM: How did you handle the fame of being a local celebrity at a young age? KH: I kinda just always focused on the music and what my next move should be. I never focus on the fame. It’s all flattering but still weird to me. I don't see myself as famous at all. CM: What do you like and what do you not like about the fame? KH: I love how fame allows you to touch people with your craft. It makes you realize how passionate and supportive people you never met could be of you. However, I'm not a fan of opinions on my private life and
all the downfalls of living your life in the public eye.
improved Kourtney to show through my writing.
CM: Tell us about your experience in working with the late Magnolia Shorty and what did you learn? KH: I learned a lot about her. She was very humble. It blew me away. She was just very professional. I always like to take traits from people that I admire and that trait stuck with me.
CM: How do you feel about the success of “A Gemini’s Diary”? KH: Forever one of the greatest feelings ever. My fans are still downloading the mixtape. I was so very proud of it when working on it. I couldn't wait to release it. It was mainly my writing so it blew me away that people supported it so hard.
CM: After “My Boy” was released, how did you come across Memphitz? KH: “My Boy” grew its legs and started to migrate all over the south before the point of meeting Memph. He was in a club when it came on and loved the reaction from the crowd. I happened to know some of the people who he loves, such as his wife Toya and his brother-inlaws. Eventually I met him and it was a great experience working with him!
CM: What is next for Kourtney Heart? KH: I've been in the studio a lot lately, growing, writing, producing, arranging etc. But I'm so excited about Essence 2013! This show will be phenomenal! I have a whole new fresh team, sound, look, and feel and I'm ready for the world.
CM: How can we find out more about Kourtney Heart? (Website/ social media) CM: What happed after your requested release from KH: You can contact me at www.KourtneyHeart.com YouTube/kourtneyheartvideos your contract with Jive Records? KH: I was thankful for that experience, but I'm even twitter/kourtneyheart more thankful now because I got a chance to see both Instagram/Kaykakessss sides of the fence in this industry. Since I asked to be Vine/Pharoah released I've been working harder and growing more. I'm Keek/Kaykakessss so happy at where my music stands right now because it Facebook/Kourtneyheart took a lot of experience and growing up for the new and 19
20
Love & Relationships
I
The Dating Mom
n May we celebrate the wonderful blessing of mothers. It is a day that we as a society have set aside to acknowledge, thank, and celebrate motherhood. While we are thinking about Moms this month, it’s a great time to think about the realities of Moms. Not just what it is like to Alanna McCreary be a Mom or the gratitude that we have towards mothers work, or the thankless yet very rewarding efforts that it takes to be a mama, but the conversations and struggles that mothers have. Every Moms journey is drastically different; the challenges that she faces, the things she has to think about, the hurdles she has to jump, and the things she has to decide about.
My advice to single moms that date would be: Take your time. Don’t be desperate. Be picky, do not just take up with any old body. Be ready, open, and honest. Wait to get your kids involved. Listen to your gut. Do not ever allow someone to become more important than your child Be realistic. While in the beginning people want to say that the stress and baggage of dating someone with child is a non-issue, if they do not have children of their own it can be a hard reality to grasp that as a mother/parent your kid will always (as it should) come before your relationship. Be open to communicate and listen. Listen to your kids. If they don’t like your new love interest, it’s a done deal.
A conversation that is often neglected or spoken about in very negative terms is the “Moms that date”. There is so much controversy in regards to how Moms do this, how and who they let into their lives and their offspring, and how they create a balance between their family life and being a single individual. There is no right or wrong way to For dating or relationship advice email AJ McCreary date as a Mom. It is a very different experience for at amccreary@cognitionmagazine.com everyone yet there are some universal rules that should apply. I say this not as someone judging, or as an over educated professional, or as someone just being “a-know-it -all” but as someone who has observes and lives with this reality. Of all of the things that I have learned on my personal journey, the most complicated concept to navigate has been dating. For me, there has always been a fine line of what I deemed appropriate, smart, and safe in regards to having a significant other not only enter my life but the realm that is my child’s existence. Whatever you choose as a single mother in regards to your children and the way you deal with men, just make sure it’s a solid choice that is based off the best interest for you and your kid and not based off the passion and lust that new courtships bring up.
21
What Blacks Should Know Mental Health Awareness Month Pathways to Wellness: Leading Full and Productive Lives
W
ellness—it’s essential to living a full and productive life. We may have different ideas about what wellness means, but it involves a set of skills and strategies that prevent the onset or shorten the duration of illness and promote recovery and well-being. It’s about keeping healthy as well as getting healthy. Pathways to Wellness— this year’s theme of May is Mental Health Month calls attention to strategies and approaches that help all Americans achieve wellness and good mental and overall health. Wellness is more than an absence of disease. It involves complete general, mental and social well-being. And mental health is an essential component of overall health and well-being. The fact is our overall well-being is tied to the balance that exists between our emotional, physical, spiritual and mental health. Whatever our situation, we are all at risk of stress given the demands of daily life and the challenges it brings—at home, at work and in life. Steps that build and maintain well-being and help us all achieve wellness involve a balanced diet, regular exercise, enough sleep, a sense of self-worth, development of coping skills that promote resiliency, emotional awareness, and connections to family, friends and the community. These steps should be complemented by taking stock of one’s well-being through regular mental health checkups. Just as we check our blood pressure and get cancer
22
screenings, it’s a good idea to take periodic reading of our emotional well-being. One recent study said everyone should get their mental health checked as often as they get a physical, and many doctors routinely screen for mental health, which typically include a series of questions about lifestyle, eating and drinking habits and mental wellness. But a checkup doesn’t necessarily require a special trip to the doctor. There are also online screening tools you can use. While conditions like depression are common, roughly 1 in 5 Americans have a mental health condition they are extremely treatable. Fully embracing the concept of wellness not only improves health in the mind, body and spirit, but also maximizes one’s potential to lead a full and productive life. Using strategies that promote resiliency and strengthen mental health and prevent mental health and substance use conditions lead to improved general health and a healthier society: greater academic achievement by our children, a more productive economy, and families that stay together.
By: Mental Health America Resources: www.mentalhealthamerica.net
Mental Disorders In America Below are “at a glance� statistics for some of the most common mental illnesses. These statistics are based on Americans aged 18 years and older. 26.2% of Americans 18 and older suffer from a diagnosable mental illness
Bipolar Disorder
5.7 million Adults Suicide
90% of individuals that have died from suicide had a diagnosable mental disorder Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
2.2 million Adults 23
= One in Four Americans
Schizophrenia
2.4 million Adults Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
7.7 million Adults Major Depressive Disorder
14.8 million Adults Resource: National Institute of Mental Health www.Nimh.nih.gov
Sexual Health Get Your Groove Back Busy Mom It’s hard being a mother nowadays, more than any other time. Not only do you have to deal with the task of raising children some of you are doing this on your own but you also have to deal with demanding jobs, careers and the usual complications that arise from the Paris Hughes intimate relationship or marriage you may be involved in. Basically, you have very little time to squeeze in for yourself and may place your sexual needs on a shelf…and then forgot about them. You lost that groove and now have to figure out how to regain that fulfilling sexual experience that you once had.
sexuality is that it can always return. But just like everything else in life, it will take some work to get back into the groove.
According to Boston therapist Terry Real, that’s exactly what may happen: working on your sex life, “even when you’re not into it”, even if at first you have to schedule sex as if it’s a chore. Rather than waiting for your sex life to just suddenly come back full force on its own without any effort on your part, you would need to try to set aside time in your busy schedule for an intimate evening with your partner. Start off with kisses and cuddling and soon your body and mind will be reminded of what you forgot. Eventually you’ll see an improvement in sexual experiences, and an increase in But who can blame you, a busy mother, when you forget the enthusiasm that once came with it. about your sexuality and its importance? When you entered motherhood, you agreed to devote a large The best way to describe working on rebuilding an portion of your life to this new life. Sometimes as a new intense sex life is to compare it to getting your body in mother, you may fall into the pattern of forgetting better shape. Ever tried to lose weight by promising to yourself and defining yourself as only a mom. In that exercise and eat healthier? If you did, you remember mindset, you might forget that you’re also your own that it did take a lot of work; you weren’t excited about person and a partner in a relationship or marriage. This getting away from the TV long enough to go to the gym can be fixed by planning a date for just yourself or for and you probably realized that committing yourself to a you and your partner and sending the children off to a daily exercise regimen was a lot more of a chore than baby-sitter for an evening. This will remind you that you imagined. This attitude was eventually replaced while you are a mother, there are still other equally with more enthusiasm once you noticed positive important facets of you. A sexual partner that is still changes in your body. This is how you will approach desirable is one aspect. working on your sex life it’s going to be something else to add on your already full “to do” list, but once you And don’t fret about sometimes losing your groove. notice your recharged sex drive, you’ll soon find that the According to University of Washington sociology effort placed into it was worth it. As you schedule sex professor Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D from an article on with your partner, try to find new ways to excite each improving your sex life In Shape Magazine, losing other. If lack of sex is due to just boredom in the interest in sex while being a busy mother is definitely bedroom, this can always be remedied by switching up not an abnormal issue. “Parenting is a full-time job, so with new positions in bed, for instance sometimes the it's not surprising that sex is taking a backseat to your body needs to be excited by something new. But once responsibilities," she explained. again, this requires communication and effort from you and your partner. Fortunately, just because you lose interest in sex, or experience a decline in good sex, doesn’t mean you can’t get it back. One of the best things about human
24
Events Skate Against Crime Celebrity Mixer
F
irst Priority Management, LLC and Trae Productions, Inc in association with Step It up Entertainment hosted their annual Skate against Crime Celebrity Mixer at Airline Skating Rink in New Orleans, Louisiana on April 12th 2013. This local star studded production was hosted to promote anti-crime awareness especially after the death of Little Miss Paige DeJean whom was murdered after a stray bullet entered her home while she was asleep. NOLA entertainment personalities such as JC Styles, Sissy Nobby, Rapper 3D Na’ Tee, Partners-N-Crime, and Kris Baptiste plus many more came out to support the efforts and celebrate the memory of Paige Dejean. Alkima Williamson, the mother of Page stated “Everyone came out to support her (Paige) even if they didn’t know her. It was really nice.” The event is hosted annually during the month of Paige’s birthday and a portion of the proceeds collected will go to the Paige DeJean Scholarship Fund for Criminal Justice Majors at Southeastern Louisiana College. Alkima concluded the event by stating “We need to take a stand and I will continue to do this and try and fight crime until I leave this place.” For more pictures on the mixer visit www.cognitionmagazine.com/events 25
Events Girls Night Out… Pink Passion Party
T
he evening of April 26th 2013 was filled with pink decor, live music, laughter, and food. Singer and former cancer survivor Gina Brown in conjunction with the Louisiana Breast & Cervical Health Program hosted one of Gina’s quarterly breast cancer awareness functions at the Amour of Elegance in New Orleans East. The ladies in attendance were pampered and serenaded by a crew of all male manicurists, bartenders, models, and masseuses. Organizer Gina Brown stated that “We are here to celebrate life and those people whom are actually survivors of cancer, as well as those that may be going through.” The highlight of the evening was the vocal auction where ladies were serenaded by male vocalist and placed bids based on their talent. Gina emphasized the importance of early detection/screening for breast cancer and the importance of using her friends in the music industry to promote good causes such as this one. Brown summarized the evening’s event by stating “When God gives you a gift you are supposed to share it. I hope everyone here tonight takes their gift and use it as a platform for something positive.” For more pictures on Gina’s Pink Passion party visit www.cognitionmagazine.com/events
26
Be Inspired The Finish Here’s a little known secret that can be shared without shattering intimate confidences or causing worlds to collide. The actual truth behind a runner’s sober expression is that he has no love for the act of running; in fact, there are many runners who will admit that there is no joy in running at all. And so, their faces are focused and calculated, they never sport a smile or a whimsical expression when you see them on street. Every once in a while you may come upon that one guy or that one girl, who is a little different than most, because they feel that running, as a means of exercise, is an exhilarating and rewarding experience. But honestly, even for them, there is some part of their ritual run that they abhor.
path. Every runner has a plan for overcoming the drama of the streets, whether it’s assuming authority over wily drivers by raising their hands in an offensive move to leaping over fallen debris on sidewalks. In a runner’s mind, the race must continue no matter the consequences. What runners love is beating the odds. They find joy in accomplishing their goal in spite of the ever present probability of failing. They have learned to develop their endurance in the face of Honestly, the runner runs with one adversity. Their joy comes in knowing single thought and that is to reach their they kept going; they endured through finish line. In order to achieve their the most difficult circumstances. finish, they must learn to build and Learning to endure in a race means to strengthen their endurance. The runner prepare and be equipped for any is keenly conscious of every element possibility while on the path. Building of an endurance run. The runner is endurance is an exercise that requires ever watching the path before him concentrated work, but promises No runner likes the start, the hills, rain, judging the certainty of the surface for gratifying results. A runner is well steps, the heat, or traffic. Any runner reliability. Depending on the terrain, acquainted with an unforgiving will tell you that there is more to the the foot has to be planted in a manner pavement that intimidates joints and run than the run itself. First there’s the that ensures balance to leap, skip, or enrages fear; but in the end waves a shoe, the perfect shoe that cradles the jump over what they encounter on the red ribboned symbol of completion.
27
heel and ankle and leaves room for the toes. Then, the proper running attire must be taken into consideration. For instance, that favored pair of shorts that stretches with every lunge. Next there’s the endless stretching of the hamstrings, calves, back, and gluteus maximus muscles to safeguard from injury. Pinpointing the best route that will cater to the runners needs is next, along with finding the right music to keep the pace. Finally, there is the run.
By: Elizabeth Parker
28