From the Editor It’s the new year and we are insisting on preparing our readers for success and growth in 2013. This months issue is full of motivational items and recaps of all the events we attended during the holiday season. The shopping has been done, the holiday weight has been gained, the new Malcolm Armstrong Jr. years resolutions have been made and now its time for a mental and physical restart in 2013. Let Cognition Magazine™ guide you on your journey to a better you!
Think Mind, Think Body...Think YOU! Yours in #WELLNESS, Malcolm M. Armstrong Jr. Founder & Chief Editor marmstrong@cognitionmagazine.com Follow us on twitter: @cognition_mag Like us on Facebook: Facebook.com/ cognitionmagazinellc
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6. Events 13. L. Jeff Williams Interview 16. Health & Fitness 18. Real Thoughts 20. Ask Dr. Ada 22. Cover Story– Bishop Lester Love 28. Love & Relationships 29. What Blacks Should Know 31. Thoughts After Dark 33. Be Inspired 5
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1) Local bounce artist and community activist Keedy Blakk addresses the crowd. 2) Participant receives a health screening courtesy of Xavier University Wellness Clinic. 3) Coodinator & Host Kawanna Prout poses with poet & community activist Tasha aka “Mistique.�
4) Gentelle Pedescleaux owner of P.E.D.S. NOLA fitness company demonstrates a new Stiletto workout.
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1) Mark Ceasar, Mario P., & Joseph Brady of Piss Yo Pants Comedy pose with Malcolm Armstrong Jr., Founder & Chief Editor of Cognition Magazine™ 2) Brandon Jones, C.E.O. of Lookatnola.com & Charlotte Brun, Owner of Santa Fe Tapas. 3) Comedian Joseph Brady 4) Comedian & Event Host Mark Ceasar 5) DJ Spins for Lookatnola.com comedy night 6) Attendees enjoy Piss Yo Pants comedy show 7) Comedian Mario Plesant entertains the crowd
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Events Cognition Magazine held its second installation of Cocktails with Cognition, a motivational mixer on Friday, December 21st at 8:30pm. This edition of Cocktails with Cognition was a cover party for R&B artist Iris P. This sultry singer made the cover of our December 2012 issue and she has an incredible story behind her voice. The evening included performances by Iris P., magazine giveaways, vendor tables, raffles from local businesses, free food and of course COCKTAILS! Stay tuned for our next Cocktails with Cognition Magazine™. 2
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R&B Artist Iris P. poses with NOLA Socialite KaLi Red Dannie Wallace, Lyndreion Farria & Alvin House Iris P. performs during Cocktails with Cognition Malcolm Armstrong Jr., Founder & Chief Editor of Cognition Magazine™ Syreeta Hall and fellow representative at vendor table for Treme Hair Care® Products. Malcolm Armstrong Jr. presents KaLi Red with raffle from Madison Avenue House of Fashions. Malcolm Armstrong Jr. gives introduction and remarks on event.
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1) Singer Nayo Jones graces the crowd with jazz melodies. 2) Guitarist of the Yisrael Trio plays for Nayo Jones. 3) Members of Yisrael Trio 4) Local Trumpeter plays with Nayo Jones
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1) Birthday girl & Host KaLi Red feeds the homeless with food she cooked personally. 2) Homeless participants smile after their meals. 3) Step It Up crew members Nadine “DJ Nola” Robertson, Cathy Watson, & Joshua “JC Styles” Cornelius pitch in with the occasion. 4) Joshua “JC Styles” Cornelius, KaLi Red & friend LaSandra Rivera. 10
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Interview By: Malcolm M. Armstrong Jr. Images Courtesy of: Darrell Rogers & L. Jeff Williams 13
CM: Tell us about the CM: Fitness advocate, sports fan, Engineer, guy that is L. Jeff Events/Party Promoter and Father are just a few things that describe you. How do you manage Williams? multitasking while still being effective in your LJW: As trite as this careers? expression is, I have to say, "Im so New LJW: 2 words; planning and support. I have to be Orleans." Only a fellow extremely organized to handle everything effectively. native understands how I also have an amazing support system to help catch simply naming your things that may fall through the cracks and help me hometown can describe when I seem to veer off-track. who you are, but that's always been my CM: What do you do to de-stress? identifier. Much like LJW: I find recovery in activity and spending time my beloved city, I am with my loved ones. Working out, traveling, and constantly growing and taking advantage of the countless activities that New evolving while striving to maintain the integrity of Orleans has to offer truly makes me happy and who I am and where I began. energizes me unlike anything else. CM: What made you become a fitness advocate? LJW: Realizing that I couldn't keep up with my young son. I was 33 yrs old at the time and decided that getting short winded after playing outside with him was unacceptable. CM: What are your thoughts on the current state fitness in black America today? LJW: I'm pleased to find that health and fitness seems to be of rising importance in our community...a gradual one, but an increase nonetheless. Just log on to social media; countless "at the gym" pics on Instagram®, Twitter® and Facebook® status updates celebrating pounds and inches lost. Despite obstacles that sometimes add layers of complexity when trying to maintain a workout schedule (costs of gym memberships, grueling schedules, etc.) many people seem to conquer those challenges and commit to a healthier lifestyle. CM: Tell us all about the Get F.A.T. Challenge? LJW: The program was designed with the often chaotic lifestyles of thirty-something’s in mind. The plan is simple and most importantly effective. By including fitness, nutrition instruction and education I'm not only providing the tools to be successful, but also the "manual" to maintaining a new and healthy lifestyle.
CM: What is it that you enjoy the most about your life and why? LJW: I wake up every day with a strong sense of purpose. Im able to serve my community in a career that's centered around keeping New Orleans safe. I also play many roles in my life; son, father, brother, boyfriend, friend. I embrace and take each role very seriously; that's what keeps me going. CM: Tell us one little known fact about L. Jeff Williams? LJW: I work hard but I play even harder. Most people see me in work-mode and have no idea how much I love to laugh, have fun, and (some might say) be silly at times. CM: What’s coming up for L. Jeff Williams in 2013? LJW: This year my focus hasn't changed. I want to continue my work, improving myself, and God willing continue to make contributions where I can.
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Health & Fitness
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ognition Magazine’s Health & Fitness columnist Gentelle P. of P.E.D.S. NOLA shows us how to get fit right at home with this exercise demo. Try out this series of exercises on a consistent basis and we guarantee results. Lets start 2013 off with fitness!
Step + Repeat + Kick 1) Grab a chair that is sturdy enough to support your body weight. 2) Grip the back of the chair with both hands to support yourself and place the left foot on the seat and bend knee. 3) Lift up on left leg and extend the right leg fully and feel the stretch. Remember to tighten the buttocks while doing this exercise. 4) Carefully step down and place right foot on the chair while bending the knee. 5) Lift up on the right leg and extend the left leg fully while feeling the stretch (similar to step 3). 6) Repeat all steps for 3 sets of 10.
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Plank + Roll + Leg Lift
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1) Grab your yoga/exercise mat and do not forget to remain hydrated during physical activities. 2) Face down on mat, spread legs shoulder length apart, and rest on elbows. Lift up on your toes; this is called a “Plank.� Hold this position for 10-15 seconds.
3) Roll on your side. Rest on your elbow and side of foot. Place hands on your hip. 4) Lift your leg up and down and feel the stretch. Do not forget to tighten the buttocks.
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5) Repeat all steps using opposite side of body. Complete 3 sets of ten.
Real Thoughts
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When Celebrities Attack. on Twitter s we all
know, social media serves many worthwhile purposes. It helps us reach out to those we would usually lose touch with as life takes us down its infinite and divergent paths. Social media helps us to stay informed of the International issues of the day and operates as one of the best ways to promote one’s personal/ professional efforts, be they self-run businesses, musical projects or literary ventures (i.e., Follow @Cognition_Mag, @De_De_T, @Lanino_Brown, @ShawnieceQB on Twitter). With so many useful applications, social media provides us with an open forum to communicate freely with people and organizations that may have been wholly inaccessible to us in the years precluding the MySpace and Facebook age.
By: Deanna Theriot
job… Fast forward to 12/9/12 when I received THIS little gem:
@De_De_T: @Him Forgive me for being put off by the plug you casually threw in to promote your literary effort…
@Him: @De_De_T @TheRoot247 O-o: blogs.indiewire.com/shadowandact/s… (This was a link to a piece covering his latest theatrical work… that I really don’t care about.)
@Him: @De_De_T It wasn’t a ‘plug’. I thought that i would raise your ‘awareness’ seeing that you tweeted that I ‘need a job’ when you are wrong.
@De_De_T: @Him But the plight of the My response: downtrodden always deserves my undivided “@Him: @De_De_T @TheRoot247 O-o: attention. blogs.indiewire.com/shadowandact/s…” “Siri, alert me when I am mentioned on Twitter.” @De_De_T: @Me Agreed: RT THIS youtube.com/watch?v=vLV9sz… Without mentioning him I tweeted (I gather (This was a link to a video about the crisis in this is what the kids call a “subtweet” but I Congo) wasn’t aiming for that at the time): I, too, am a jerk, Mr. *Insert confrontational Negro’s last @De_De_T: @Him & your attempts to guide name here*. my RTs will fall short. I see & appreciate ur passion 4 this cause but I refuse to b goaded And now the discourse: this way.
@Him: @De_De_T That’s cool. Even jerks can be productive RT THIS: http:// www.duniamagazine.com/2012/11/war-in-theheart-of-africa-congo-on-its-knees-as-womenand-children-continue-to-pay-the-highestprice/ pic.twitter.com… Through social media every last voice on (The first link was for a magazine article Earth can be heard with little to no risk of raising awareness of the war in the Democratic filtration or censorship (unless of course that Republic of Congo which has its citizens bevoice is coming from a Syria, Libya, Egypt, reft of their civil liberties and peace of mind. etc.). Another well-known fact of social media The second link was a picture of the cover of is that its accessibility can prove both a very his memoir. Clearly I’m not about to RT good thing and a very bad thing depending on something simply because he has commanded the disposition of the human being on the it, especially not with his face on it.) other end of that keyboard. I was brought face to face (or rather device to device) with the @De_DeT: “@Him: @De_De_T That’s cool. latter possibility of that fact. While quite Even jerks can be productive…” Usually… “innocently” engaging in an open discussion but apparently not today. on Twitter revolving around one of my favorite TV series “Scandal”, it seems @De_De_T (again without mentioning him): something I tweeted purely in jest offended the So… *Insert homeboy’s name here* would delicate sensibilities of one of Hollywood’s like me to let you know that he has done less widely celebrated celebrities. (I refuse to things. Google him for further detail if you’re implicate this individual by name because I interested. refuse to give him ANY shine in MY column, but if your curiosity simply must have @Him: @De_De_T No. I ‘asked’ you to RT satisfaction just peep out my Twitter account. THIS: Rep. Karen Bass (D-CA) & she asked The intrigue you seek is there.) The tweet that me to post her office number to support the started it all was rendered 12/6/2012 and it DRC. THIS: *her number*. went a little something like this: (Clearly that wasn’t what he tweeted the first time.) “’@TheRoot247: Here’s my theory: *Insert disgruntled celebrity’s name here)* shot Fitz. #Scandal’ @De_De_T He DOES need a 18
@De_De_T: @Him Sir… I can’t tell anybody how to live but a sense of humor would do nothing to diminish your sense of pride. @Him: @De_De_T No… ‘this’ tweet was indeed… ‘funny’. LMBO! @De_De_T: @Him At least you can find humor in something. Whether it’s petty or not is of no concern to me. @Him: @De_De_T YOUR response to the Root funny joke “@TheRoot247: Here’s my theory: (Insert the name of the man who has been unable to ruffle me here) shot Fitz. #Scandal” He DOES need a job…” @Him: @De_De_T Gotcha… pic.twitter.com… (It was a picture of a lemming. If you are unaware of the social reference, people referred to as lemmings are mindless, blind followers of others who are devoid or original thought. In nature lemmings are infamous for mass suicides based on one lemming leaping stupidly to his death with hundreds of others following him without hesitation.) @De_De_T: “@Him: @De_De_T Gotcha… pic.twitter.com…” The culmination. #Lovely (I was just happy this nigga finally ran out of shit to say.)
Most of you don’t know anything about me outside of what you may read on your computer screens, so let me assure you that I don’t involve myself with celebrities’ personal lives. I don’t spend any time on TMZ or Media Takeout. I don’t pay any mind to the writings of such gossip bloggers as Perez Hilton or Necole Bitchie. I don’t peruse the entertainment sections of any news outlet just for shits. Generally speaking, I am quite detached from most “behind-the-scenes” tidbits about any celebrity, whether I’m a fan of their work or not. In short I really could give a fuck. Therefore, this person’s suggestion that I would be some sort of social lemming is a clear indication that he knows as little about me as I do him. Is it MY fault that I never see this nigga on my television unless it’s a rerun of a show from 2007 and beyond or a throwback flick from a similar earlier period of time? I didn’t do that to you, sir. I can’t be bothered to run a Google search whenever I consider how long it’s been since I saw “So and So” on something to find out what you may be doing now (that I could still give a fuck about). The point is, if I don’t care to look now, I will very likely care even less after you’ve pitched a minor Twitter bitch (something that you have been reported to do in a major way real life). Of course I could’ve taken the time to tell him all this in our brief bout of banter but it’s Sunday and my focus was on the NFL. Also considering the demeanor of my antagonist, it would’ve been a complete waste of keystrokes as my words would’ve been met with eyes blinded by arrogance. Most importantly, who has the patience to give somebody thorough a tongue-lashing in 140-character increments? Certainly, not I (not for this cat, anyway).
sorry, bruh. Maybe I should be looking harder—with a candle in the daytime perhaps? This isn’t to suggest that he won’t come to the forefront once more but damn… you sensitive much, homey? Could it be that you still have a chip on your shoulder from the melodramatic way you fell from grace all those years ago? Are you so tired of people throwing jabs at your professionalism that my one ironical comment pushed you to defend yourself once and for all? Furthermore regardless of what I may have said to add insult to your perceived injury, I have 152 followers… nigga, chill. He was very literally the ONLY one who gave a damn. I don’t know about him, but I’m not about to jump at a chance to check somebody only to solidify an image of being ill-tempered and belligerent that I’ve been trying to dispute for years. Perhaps being a little LESS quarrelsome would help dissolve that notion, brotha. Jeez…
And of course it isn’t just the rich and famous who behave like entitled 12 year-olds on social networking sites. We regular Joes and Joannes are absolutely no better. There is no end to the virtual mudslinging, card-pulling and weave-snatching betwixt co-workers, “friends”, family members and total strangers. It appears to me that our modern culture is one of being perceived as “The Realest” (whatever the fuck that means). I assumed that “being real” is akin to being authentic but being authentic has nothing to do with being an asshole, or so I thought. Maybe the original implications of “realness” have been misconstrued to be a representation of a certain type of person rather than being defined on an individual level. With that being said, mutha fuckas who outchea claiming they’re “real” are simply assuming a caricature My real question during all this was: what is of someone else’s personality traits. This the end game here--to puff out your little sensationalized notion of being up front and peacock chest in proof that you’re tough honest has been cloned to the point of enough to confront someone who didn’t even complete degeneration. It’s one thing to really challenge you to begin? I mean… do stand-up for oneself but it’s entirely another to you wanna come see me? You wanna box, B? go out looking for reasons to posture with one C’mon! It’s not that serious! I could another on trivial issues. My suggestion is understand if I went on a vile, unsolicited rant grow the fuck up before you get on the like so many other Tweeple, making snide Internet to bludgeon us all with your lack of comments about celebrities out of spite or pure maturity and identity. Maybe this year we can jealously but all I had to do was, in a all resolve to look deeper within ourselves for light-hearted fashion, state the obvious to personal truth rather than looking outward and anyone with a television—he ain’t on it like shrinking to fit. talkin’ ‘bout (at least he isn’t on mine). I’m
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Baby, when I tell you Twitter gets PETTY? This is the same kinda eReal nonsense that made me shoot Facebook the deuces! I thought I knew the struggle until a purportedly very busy celebrity attempted to read me my rights via my mentions on some decidedly insignificant trifle. As absurd as this unwarranted endeavor into the psyche of a scorned actor was, sadly this incident is not an isolated one. Celebrities also have voices and these days they’re using them to bite back against us regular working stiffs who would dare to speak ill of them, even in good-natured fun. Though many everyday folk would swear it wasn’t true (not me), these celebs have the capacity to be every bit as small-minded or grudging as that person who can’t stand to see you with a little bit of something that he doesn’t have for himself. I guess this celebrity wouldn’t allow my quip be the last word on his career or maybe he just couldn’t allow me to go through my day believing that the mighty truly had fallen. In all honestly, I must repeat, I could really give a fuck. By all means, sir, continue to thrive and I wouldn’t wish any ill upon your career, even after you tried in vain to draw me into a virtual pissing match. I will say however, that all character flaws rumored of him before that I previously ignored have officially been made manifest. For the first time EVER a celebrity made me a first-hand believer of the gossip surrounding his name. You won. P.S.: I was not mentioned, but I found this to be an interesting statement for him to make his triumphant Twitter exit with: @Him: #MySleeptweet I don't care what you say about me, but if I catch you lying on me and confront you. Don't try to run and hide by lying more. Girl, boo. Be for real.
Ask Dr. Ada Dr. Ada Craig Roberson is a dedicated wife, mother and advocate for those in need. She is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker within the state of Louisiana and holds a doctoral degree in Counseling Psychology. Ada has a wealth of experience in working with disadvantaged individuals and has taken the term “Life Enhancement� into a whole new meaning within the social services industry. Her ability to truly understand human behavior has allowed her to transform the lives of many individuals, some of which were hopeless in the eyes of society. She loves a good piece of fine chocolate, a good challenge and stimulating activities. If you have an issue you would like to bring to Dr. Ada’s attention please email askdrada@cognitionmagazine.com or make a post on the Ask Dr. Ada page on www.cognitionmagazine.com
Dr. Ada Craig Roberson
Caramel Dimple: I'm a single woman in my 30s and I feel that my mother is being so needy and invasive with me when there are other available siblings. Her health is ok, I just feel that she's crowding my space. How do I say no to her requests and still be respectful?
Dimple, I suggest that you sit down and have a heart to heart with your mother. Tell her that you love her and want to be there for her, but have been struggling with balancing your personal responsibilities with your desire to be there for her. Suggest that you guys have a special day that you devote to spending with her. You can work together to establish the frequency. You can also reach out to your siblings and ask that they become more proactive with assisting your mom (i.e. they can increase their frequency of contact with her and offer unsolicited assistance). Finally, during your scheduled dates with your mom, you can engage in activities that provide her with an opportunity to meet new people such as playing bingo or taking a class for cake decorating, sewing, computer literacy, etc. When her support network is expanded, her need to lean on you should decrease.
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The Man: how do you handle being in love when you feel that you are the only one contributing to the relationship. I feel that I am the only one doing most of the ground work. Man, In order for any relationship to succeed, you have to have both individuals committed to its success. If only one person is invested in the relationship, it is doomed to fail. You need to figure out if you and your significant other are on the same page in terms of what you want out of the relationship. It may just be that your significant other sees the relationship more casually than you do, they may be accustomed to being the taker in relationships and not be willing or able to give more of themselves, or they just may not be that into you. Either way, it is important that you determine what it is that you need from your relationship and what you’re willing to accept. If both of you want a committed love relationship, you may benefit from couples counseling. However, if you discover that you’re not on the same page, it may be time to move on.
Marc: I am the owner of a beauty salon & barber shop and all my employees keep having sex with each other and it is causing problems internally. The staff is young (mid 20's) and I need some guidance on how to control them without being too strict. Marc, All successful businesses have policies and procedures governing staff and operations to ensure that the business operates in accordance with the vision of the owner. There is nothing wrong (or unusual) about implementing a policy related to employees fraternizing with one another while employed by your business. In fact, many businesses adopt anti-fraternization policies as a way to avoid sexual harassment liability. For example, you have two co-workers who are engaged in a sexual relationship, the relationship ceases, but one of the workers continues to pursue the other who is no longer interested. The pursuit is now unwelcomed, thus, sexual harassment. In short, it may be in the best interest of your business to establish a Code of Conduct for your employees. At the end of the day, it is not about controlling your staff’s lives, it’s about preserving your livelihood.
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L L
ester ove The Man Behind the
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ognition Magazine interviews Lester Love, the presiding Bishop of City of Love ministries in New Orleans, Louisiana. From personal experience we can tell you that this man and his congregation are very innovative and utilize a holistic approach to bring people to God. This church covers all aspects of life for the progression of its members such as education, finances, love, relationships, and fitness. Lester Love gives his take on the state of mental health in the African American community and people of faith. This interview will surely demonstrate how mental health and spirituality coincide.
Interview by: Malcolm Armstrong Jr. & support by Kevin McCathen Images by: Q. Bleu Photography
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the deacons told me about going to this corner store and he would say “sit and wait there with your pastor (Bishop Morton at the time).” I would sit at that coffee shop after every 10:45am service while CM: Do you ever go back to Canton to Bishop visit? LL: We used to go back when I was younger Morton would shake hands and I would hand for family reunions and as we got older, we him a peppermint or whatever he would need don’t go back as much as we used to. My and I believe it started there. I would go off mother actually moved from New Orleans to to school at LSU and come back and work in St. Louis so most of our family now is in St. every area of ministry (Deacon, greeter, Louis. praise team, choir etc.). CM: What was your upbringing like because we understand you were born in Canton Mississippi? LL: Actually I was only born in Canton. My father and mother were both living in New Orleans and they met there. My mother is from Canton, MS. and my father is from Tylertown. My dad had this interesting thing about all of his kids being born in Mississippi so right before my mother delivered me, they sent her off to Canton to have me and 11 days later I was back in New Orleans. I was raised around the Tulane and Broad Street area (3rd ward New Orleans).
CM: Tell us how your servanthood under Bishop Paul S. Morton at Greater St. Stephen Full Gospel Baptist Church shaped you into the success you have in your ministry now. LL: It’s a couple of things. It actually did start with my father; he was quite popular here in New Orleans. My father is what you would call a “Man’s – Man,” whatever he said went and that was it. (Bishop recalls his younger years and he explains) The phone would be ringing and he would call me way from my room and the phone would be next to him and he would say “go ahead and get that.” The servanthood started with him and doing what he said to do. At 16 I joined Greater St. Stephen and I remember one of
CM: After your experience at Greater St. Stephen the City of Love began, tell us about that? LL: The original pastor of Greater Antioch (now City of Love) wanted the Full Gospel experience at his church and called upon Bishop Paul Morton who sent another pastor (Dr. Louis Kelly) to teach Full Gospel to this church. In the meantime the original pastor died and Dr. Louis Kelly became the pastor. Dr. Kelly becomes sick and the church congregation dwindled down to about less than 20 people. They called Bishop Morton for help and I happened to be there as the 1st assistant to him and he agreed to lend myself (Elder Love) to Greater Antioch for 90 days. Now mind you he (Bishop Morton) did not
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inform me of this and I never intended to pastor a church. I wanted to retire when Bishop Morton Retired. In between the 90 day period the pastor dies and the congregation begins to pick up a little bit because there is this young pastor there (speaking of himself). They had to vote on who would be the next pastor and I was hoping they did not vote me in. I was going to get on the pastoral search committee to help find a new pastor but they voted me in and here I am 14 years later. I like to say seven and seven years because hurricane Katrina came in and we had to start all over again. Greater Antioch was the name of the church when I received it and so many people ask “what does Antioch mean?” The 21st century terminology of “City of Antioch” is equivalent to the “City of Love.” The change in the name of the church has nothing to do with my name; it is actually what the city of Antioch means but it fits the personality of our church and who I am. We (The City of Love) are innovative, never
judgmental, believing in order, and vibrant. CM: What is it like having your wife, Pastor Fran Love serve at your side in ministry? LL: Pastor Fran and I met back at LSU when I was 18 years old (we were married at 25) and I knew then she had an anointing/ calling on her life but it needed to be developed. When we moved over to Greater Antioch Pastor Fran becomes my best student. She adopted my teachings and style as hers; she became the female version of me. Bishop Paul Morton asked me to preach every fourth Sunday at his church and Pastor Fran would preach every fourth Sunday back at the City of Love and everything stayed high and the word was good. She is a tremendous woman of God, a prayer warrior, great mother, great wife and she takes a great load off of me. She really helps me in this critical task of ministry.
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the importance of physical health. The part that we have somewhat strayed away from is mental health in the church. As a community of African American people, we have made it taboo to talk about mental health and similar issues. We need to do a better job a teaching people how to think properly. When the euphoria of praise has worn off, you still have to give people concepts, strategies and principles on how to think differently so that they can attract different things in their lives; that’s one angle. The second angle is we need to make sure we talk (in the church) about depression and oppression. First of all depression is not a female disease, everybody deals with it. We as pastors need to be spiritual leaders and counselors. We do not need to try to be what we are not. I can CM: Let’s talk about the balance between give great spiritual advice but when it comes you being father and pastor to your three to the nuts and bolts of what is going on in someone’s head, then I think it’s my daughters. LL: The word I think of is harmony. We responsibility to refer them to someone that work harmoniously together. My girls Joy, is a trained professional that can dig a lot Faith & Angel work with me; they underdeeper than I can. Sometimes there are some stand the order of my life is God first, then people that need a little more help than my my family and then my career. My career education and anointing can handle. happens to be ministry and I have learned to make the distinction between those things. CM: What are your feelings on being the My kids work along with me and they help “go-to” man for spiritual counseling in me in ministry. It is important to speak the someone’s time of need? language of today and my kids help me with LL: We (the church) need to be a clearing that and keep me abreast of what’s going on. house or a referral base. If someone comes to me with an issue that is beyond my ability CM: Cognition Magazine™ is focused on then I’ve got people in my congregation that I can refer them to. Let’s find out what the promoting mental health awareness and wellness from different avenues. How do issue is (of the person seeking assistance) you feel about the current state of mental and let’s get you the best possible help we can. The bible says “Some plant, some water, health not only in black America but in but God brings the increase.” Ultimately God the church as well? LL: The church as a whole has done a fairly is going to get the glory because you’re decent job in teaching people spiritual princi- going to get somebody lifted, delivered and ples. We are getting better in teaching people set free by his power. I do not have to be the
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“cure all” and the “know all” for that type of deliverance to come. CM: We like for our viewers to read our interviews and get motivated and inspired by the stories of others. Was there ever a time in life where things were not going the way you wanted to or you made a decision you were not proud of? If so how did you overcome that obstacle? LL: All the time. I like to think that I make more good decisions than bad decisions. I wish I were perfect but everybody makes mistakes and fall short. There is nothing I can do to make God love me any more or any less. He loves me for who I am. He may not like me for some of the things I do but he still loves me. We have painted God as this judge that is just waiting to kill us; just waiting for you to make a mistake so that he can banish you to hell...I don’t believe that. I believe God is a loving God that wants you to do better and well. The thing that helps me is understanding that God loves me. The same God that is in the universe and sky also lives inside of me. Once I fell in love with who God is in me, then I know that I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me. I can set my will, my decision making factor, to accomplish anything that I MUST (not I should but I MUST).
mistakes I did. One of my responsibilities is to teach the people of God how to effectively serve. CM: What makes your church so unique and appealing to younger people? LL: I thought the church should be a place that you could have some fun in, learn something, feel impacted, learn strategies on how to live your life better versus hearing what you should and should not be doing. We touch on the things that matter to young people like not wanting to be in church all day. I want to come to church to get a good word, hear some good music and come home and watch the game. We have to make sure that we are not trying to do an “8-track church” in an iphone generation.
CM: What inspired you to write “The Art of Armor Bearing: God’s Blueprint for Effective Servanthood?” LL: It was 25 years of mistakes I made, 25 years of serving, 25 years of things that I have learned. I said that there is no need for anybody to make these mistakes again when I have made them already. I wanted to put all my years of blood, sweat and tears in a book that can help somebody else not make the
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CM: After a long day what do you do to eliminate stress? LL: I go to the gym (Bishop and interviewer laugh). I go with my kids to the movies. I take off my Bishop hat and just be Lester Love. I play video games (particularly bejeweled). I love documentaries and learning. Because I love church and I love God, sometimes I go to a church conference and sit in the back just so I can pick up something. At the end of the day I am a homebody. I like waking up in the morning and making breakfast for my girls, walking the dog, going to the gym, and being around the house.
CM: For those that are interested in the City of Love and its teachings, what is your schedule of services? LL: On Sundays we have two experiences at 8am & 10:30am. On Wednesdays we have two experiences at 12pm and 7pm. On Saturdays we have an incredible prayer/ prophetic experience that begins at 8am for one hour. Any one of those experiences will empower you. We believe it’s going to be innovative, loving, and teaching you order for a greater experience with God. We promise to teach you how to excel and to never settle.
CM: We are beginning 2013. Can you give our readers some inspiration while they are developing their new year’s resolutions and setting goals? LL: I totally agree. I think last season the underlying concept was to take authority over what had authority over us and I think this year is the year to just walk in it and not just try to do it. I don’t teach “try.” When you tell yourself that I’m going do it and not try to do it, you will find yourself walking in a whole new level of victory. CM: What is coming up next for Bishop Love and the City of Love? LL: In a world filled with so much hate and violence I think we need to understand the power of love. We are going to focus on the revolution of love and we have coined the phrase “Loveolution.” We will teach people how to first love God, how to love themselves, and how to love their neighbors (family, friends and enemies).
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Love & Relationships Resolutions to Make: Be Gentle With Your Heart.
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Alanna McCreary
anuary is the month where we all make promises to shed our bad habits, loose weight, and start fresh. We have a clean slate to change our tragic ways and while that is all fine and dandy, how many of us actually follow through? Come March we have forgotten that we just bought a new gym membership, sworn off cookies, and that we made a resolution to stop cursing. Matter of fact we will probably be hysterically swearing up and down that we bought that year long membership to a gym on the other side of town, while munching cookies and sipping an overly caffeinated beverage.
This year maybe it is time to let our bad habits or those extra pounds be what they are, a part of our mostly wonderful selves and set realistic goals. Perhaps we should start fresh by not setting new goals but by shifting our attitudes. It is far time that many of us embrace who we are and focus on loving ourselves for the flawed and imperfect individuals that we are. Loving ourselves is so critical because if we don’t love and respect ourselves how can we realistically expect others to love us? A new attitude of loving yourself as you are will only do you good in your relationships, whether those relationships are with friends, a significant others, or new intimate relationships. When you love yourself, truly love and respect yourself for the person you are now, not the person you used to be or want to be, you will attract good things. Those in your life that are not new will gravitate to your new epiphany and follow suit. This year challenge yourself not to make drastic and often unrealistic changes but to shift your attitude so that you can blossom into your best self. For some that could simply be quitting any and all negative self talk, for others maybe creating a daily mantra of “I am beautiful” or “I am smart” that is said every morning while brushing your teeth. Perhaps just truly hearing, accepting, and believing compliments will assist you in loving yourself. The approach and solution will be slightly different for each of us but the end result will be magnificent across the board. This year encourage yourself to be accepting of yourself and allow yourself to love you. As you love yourself without complication the rest will follow. May this be your best year.
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What Blacks Should Know SHERRY BACHUS, PH.D., LPC, LMHP, NCC Assistant Professor Child Development and Family Studies College of Education and Human Development Southern University at New Orleans
Dr. Sherry Bachus is an Assistant Professor at Southern University at New Orleans (SUNO) and teach courses under the College of Education and Human Development in the Department of Child Development and Family Studies (CDFS). She serves on the Center for Excellent in Teaching and Learning (CETL) committee as well as other committees for the University. Dr. Bachus is a Louisiana Licensed Professional Counselors (LPC) with the State of Louisiana Licensed Professional Counselors Board of Examiners as well as a Licensed Mental Health Professional (LMHP). She is an Approved Clinical Evaluator (ACE) for Mental Health Rehabilitation Services (MHR). In 2001, she became Nationally Certified Counselor (NCC) with the National Board of Certified Counselors (NBCC). As a clinician, Dr. Bachus provides mental health counseling to children and their families which includes cognitive behavioral therapy to children for the prevention, diagnosis, and treatment of mental, behavioral, and emotional disorders as well as uses interventions to help children improve their social skills. Dr. Bachus also serves as an advocate for children in court. Her research interest includes mental health counseling for children and families, counselor education in higher education, human services, and technology.
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R
A Need for Mental Health Awareness
ecent years have shown an increase in mental health problems and the impact on children and families. Many mental health problems begin early in childhood. Youth ages 15 and younger suffer from mild to severe mental health disorders and some go untreated. Due to stigma associated with having a mental illness, family members often are in denial when mental health illness is manifested. Families can become overwhelmed from having to deal with a child who has a mental illness. In childhood through to late adulthood, there will be certain times when individuals need help addressing issues and/or problems which cause emotional and psychological distress. The vast devastation of a storm causes a high prevalence of mental illness.
than that typically found in studies of mental illness following natural disasters in the United States. The American Association for Suicide Prevention (2012) noted that an estimated 19 million Americans suffer from depression. Women suffer from depression twice as much as men, regardless of racial and ethnic background or economic status. Young people are constantly referred to child and adolescent mental health services for an assessment as a result of violent acts that they have carried out in the community such as in schools. Empirical research studies have concluded that the combination of antidepressant medication and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) offered favorable benefits in the treatment for youth and adolescents with major depressive disorders.
Clinicians play key roles in working directly with children, including families, Pre-hurricane residents of New Orleans and using community resources in the showed evidence of an anxiety or mood treatment of people with mental disorders. disorder following Hurricane Katrina An awareness of mental health problems which was the worst natural disaster in the and how to again access and resources to United States. The need for mental and Mental and Behavioral Health Services are behavior health services in the New crucial and are needed to provide clinical Orleans metropolitan has risen. Research treatment for individuals who have been showed that the rate of anxiety disorder, diagnosed with mental disorders. PTSD, and depression in the New Orleans metropolitan area residents was higher 30
Thoughts After Dark
W
hen it comes to real life sex questions, there are many
things that some people wonder whether or not they are normal happenings during sex. I host a weekly sex discussion session on Twitter giving people the opportunity to answer some questions and submit questions they may have wanted to ask but didn’t want to seem weird. I’ve asked everything from “Is a bad kisser a turn off to you?” to “Ladies, do you swallow?” The responses to the questions can be off the wall!
If you have any questions that you might want submitted, follow @QBAfterDark on twitter.com and submit your questions. The discussion sessions happen every Monday at 10pm sharp. #QBAfterDark
B
ragging on sex happens quite often. Personally, I never brag nor boast. I'd much rather see my partner's stunned reaction when I perform above expectations or his disappointed reaction if my sex game is wack. Needless to say, many have bragged on their sexual abilities. In a recent session of #QBAfterDark on twitter, I asked my followers if they experienced this and what were the results. Here were some of the replies:
@SwerveMusik said, "yea the bi*ch couldn't arch her back!" @pickQueen4life said, "I really hate them, they are the ones that get kicked out the room quick." @Ashtastic_86 said, "Yes, almost punched him in the face." @_AllDat_Jazz said, "YESSSSSS SMFH" From the looks of things, those that brag have no reason to do so. From my own personal experience, I'd have to say the same. I had a guy brag on having good head and it was the worst! People need to stop bragging on wack sex and then leaving a lot of people disappointed and not sexually fulfilled!
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Be Inspired
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Defining Moments
There is no set course for when we reach these places in our lives. They appear thought almost "out of the blue.” The funny thing is or that when we have these moments we decisions can usually say to ourselves, “what was I certainly redefine thinking?” our direction in life and in love. There's a lesson in every The first thing that we need to realize is that Darrin L. Harris these defining moments radically alter the experience. However, one usu- course of our lives. These moments come ally does not figure out the lesson until well and these moments go. Within each moment after the experience. Some people have to there are opportunities. If we don’t take live with the knowledge that only after advantage of them they leave with the losing something or someone did they truly realize what they had. Or how about the moment. The second thing that we need to choices we make that we feel are best for understand is the time is a tyrant and it can us, or when we consciously decide to do consume choices left unmade. The only something only to later realize we chose choices that live are the ones that are taken wrong. but even then there can be some momentary delays. The good news is that when we In life we all will be faced with something choose good and choose to move with the that is described as a “defining moment.” What is a "defining moment?” I describe it Creator nothing can stop us from fulfilling as a point in time where one gains clarity our purpose in God. about something that has long eluded them, when one consciously chooses to do something or stop, or when something becomes as obvious as a noose around our neck.
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