OVERCOMING BARRIERS - Selina Boshorin

It is humbling to be able to contribute to this edition and theme ‘Courage to be different’ as it is one that is dear to my heart, and because I am passionate about empowering leaders and business owners to make a bigger impact, to lead and thrive by being themselves.

One of the keys I have discovered in a life of success, and a key ingredient of leadership, is in getting comfortable in being ourselves, in having the courage to accept who we are, the things that make us special and unique, whilst also respecting and being supporters of the gifts in others.

When we are fully able to leverage our genius, to be comfortable with being visible and have clarity over our specific personal and professional skills and talents, we’re able to strategically focus, to operate from a more strategic, and intentional way, to accelerate our growth, whilst adding to the quality of better leadership.

This is something that doesn’t always come naturally because the default pattern often encourages conformity, competition, adopting cookie-cutter methodologies, or even copying others because it feels safer (and less exposing) instead of going against the grain. However, that looks like for us as individuals.

When we hold clarity of the tasks, activities, and areas of our business where we excel most, feel most passionate about, and are in our genius, we will move our business forward, minimise overwhelm, and be ready for growth and joy, which I advocate, work to encourage.

I have always been a multi-passionate person.

My love for people has led me to train, study, work and volunteer in different areas which have opened me up to different experiences, people, and learning through life. Celebrating and respecting, differences, commonalities, expertise, freedom of expression and creativity. The famous poem ‘Our Deepest Fear ‘Marianne Williamson

This poem and its words maybe ones you’re familiar with. For me, they were at the heart of my earlier life; I did not want to stand out, to allow my light to shine, always trying to be palatable and invisible. Interestingly, in contrast, I also had this ‘spirit’ within that made me reject conformity, injustice, and to challenge constructs.

I remember being in school and having friends in different year groups, with different interests, something that I have continued through life.

From a young age I have also been driven by a deep desire that has stayed with me; wanting to be part of the change process of both myself and others, to see their confidence as they step into their next level of growth. The last piece, which is particularly poignant, one I’ve seen in practice, is that when we are being ourselves, that we can, do, and will inspire others to be the same.

There is something infectious about seeing someone else become so comfortable in themselves that they try things that we thought were unexpected or out of the norm, and to overcome their limitations. When we have a leader, who supports us to step into any challenge, to challenge what we thought possible for ourselves, we, in turn, can inspire others to do the same.

In my own life, I have served in leadership roles on several boards and stood out as different for many reasons. But that has not deterred me. I have been a school governor since I was 25 and did not fit the stereotypical profile of a governor, people at many external meetings incorrectly assumed that I was a parent; however, it was my passion for education, strategy, and deep desire for change that led me to this role.

What I have found quite fascinating is that in theory as a society we say we get behind and support those who are different or that we encourage people to step out of the box. However, this scares people as they face how uncomfortable it can be to stand out, and to challenge stereotypes. I am also someone who loves and works well with strategy and structure; but it has its place, and we need to think about how and why things are in place and should be supportive rather than obstructive.

Despite being shy and naturally introverted, I have always been someone who loved to try new things. I was experimental and pushed through despite how challenging things appeared to be, or the limitations that presented themselves, and welcomed new opportunities. For me, an example of someone who stands out as a positive leader, one who has the courage and confidence to be different, is the musician Joan Armatrading. Whilst her story may be lesser known for some, I was privileged to learn about how much of a pioneer she is after watching a recent documentary.

At the time she entered the music industry, there were many preconceptions about the image of performers, particularly women. It struck me how Joan is recognised for being someone who stayed true to herself in her music and in the way she operated as a professional. This led her to achieve accolades that were uncommon, and so created opportunities for others who came after her; this continues through to today.

Joan was grounded, confident in her ability, and did not conform to gender, racial or other stereotypes and pressures. She was told that she was talented, but her style didn’t fit, or that ‘they didn’t know what to do with her’ but that was never a deterrence, rather it fuelled her, and she found her way to progress. Her fire was also notable whilst at the same time being calm, humble, and understated, remaining focused on what she was here to do.

Joan overcame many barriers as a black, British, LGBT+, woman in music. She achieved many firsts, which include: the first British female singer/songwriter to gain international success, an MBE from the Queen in 2001, followed by a CBE in 2020. Joan is a particular inspiration who continues to challenge the societal norms of gender and race, who refuses to be put in a box, and as a result giving a voice to others.

I have seen in my own journey, and those of others, that there are so many ways we can demonstrate and live out of courage; to challenge the ‘norms.’ My passion for the Arts, and work in different disciplines, have contributed greatly to and provided tools for, my growth. These have enabled my speaking and communicator confidence; I am now more able to both express my opinion, and to better articulate myself in different settings. Being able to speak in both church and community settings has enabled me to move from someone who cried and shook with nerves speaking to an audience of 30, to someone who has led groups and who speaks on stages. I am still nervous before and wonder whether I am saying the right thing, however the focus becomes less on me, but rather on my audience, my message, and the purpose of what I am there to do. I realise that my hiding neither serves myself, nor the world.

When I think about the theme of being different and having courage, we must lead with our desire to transform so that it outweighs the fears that arise.

To reach that place, things internally and behind the scenes require addressing faith in ourselves; the connection we have with our values; the required personal development; the necessary support and encouragement from mentors, friends and families who help build self-acceptance and gain confidence as a person.

All activities and people who encourage a more deeply rooted purpose that enables the ability to keep getting back up.

Although the journey started much earlier, I will always see becoming 30 as a notable milestone and turning point. It is the point where I became the most comfortable and confident in my skin, fully accepting of my skills and expertise and that it was truly OK to be different. As I prepare to become 40 at the end of the year, I am excited about what lies ahead. Gill and the work of Collaboration Global stand as a powerful example of visionary leadership and as a positive force of change, inspiration, and courage. It is a movement that champions individuality and self-expression, bringing together different expertise and leaders under a common purpose, shared values, and respect. It is through such that we create change and growth in the world.

You can contact Selina at:

Email: sboshorin@gmail.com Telephone: 07505 300137

Website:

www.facebook.com/butterflytransform