ACCW LL A B T E K BAS
PREVgIgE ames, drinkin sex idiots and
e, f i L c i et Synth od, and ys G a l p n Ma
Vol 3 Issue 2
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ volume III issue II: orlando version
contents Reviews
Nicki Minaj 4 Fresh Musicians 2 Documentaries 2 Books Worth Reading 1 Sick TV Show and a Board Game Four Ridiculous Beers
Poli Sci Collegiate Entrepreneurs UF Professor Fired for Dog-Like Behavior FSU Student Honored in Glamour Magazine GT Football Lands Hefty Donation Parking Blows at UTampa UCF SGA Held in Check New Festival Hits Miami
16 18 18 18 19 21
22 26 26 26 26 28 28
The Cover Story
J Craig Venter Creates Synthetic Life 30
6
\\ november - december - january \\ volume 3 issue 2
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
poli-sci
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ www.backslashonline.com
contents on the ball
ACC Basketball Preview
The Slash Issues of the Issue Insane Laws Shitty Businesses One Religion One Drug Absurdist Revolutionary Party Striking Statistics Epic Jokes Would You Rathers The Art of Dorm Room Sex Adult Beverages Food Recipes Drinking Games Random Idiots Pats on the Back You Tube Gems Life-Saving Websites
The joints Bob Marley's in Universal Tanqueray’s Ice Bar Sky 60 Orlando Happy Hour Guide
8
34
38 38 38 39 39 39 40 40 40 40 41 41 41 42 42 42 42
46 46 47 47 48
\\ november - december - january \\ volume 3 issue 2
7 21
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
poli-sci
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ november - december - january
Content Director \\ Finally \\ Thank you for taking the time to read this issue of back\slash. This is our 9th issue, and inside you will find a sick double feature profiling two people you probably don't know nearly enough about: J Craig Venter, and Nicki Minaj. Venter was the first guy to create artificial (synthetic) organisms, and Nicki is about to be one of the most successful female performing artists in history. Other than those two main pieces, I highly-recommend that you read this issue's 'Slash' (which begins on page 38), and the ACC Basketball Preview (which begins on page 34). On that note, I will let this issue speak for itself. I hope you enjoy it.
Cordially,
Michael McCormack, back\slash Content Director
10
\\ november - december - january \\ volume 3 issue 2
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ november - december - january
Content Director \\ Now is Your Time \\ Right now, as you sit in class, in the cafeteria, in your dorm, or in your apartment, I want to remind you of three things: 1) You do not have to be here; 2) The college route is not for everyone; and 3) The mythical 'guaranteed job' at the end of the proverbial tunnel is complete bullshit. I am not suggesting you drop out of college. But since you have chosen the academic route, and have decided that you need a college degree, I’m saying that you should make the best of it. Figure out what you want out of college – and out of life – and get it. Find it, fight for it, and never forget it. Use these years as a time to learn about yourself, and grow. This is the beginning, of the school year and of the rest of your life. So do what you want. On that note, what you are about to read is the unrestrained college lifestyle magazine. Our goal is to tell you what your school doesn't want you to know. It is our mission to provide an open forum for members of the college demographic to express their unbridled opinions, and tell each other what’s up, without their schools' intervention. Our writers are not restrained by any institution, and many of them write under pen names, in fear of their universities. While some of the material printed within may seem offensive if misinterpreted; it is not our intent to offend anyone. We are simply providing students with a means to express themselves. The only part of this magazine that I don't recommend that you read, is this particular letter... but since you already have, I guess that you’ll need something to reassure you that back\slash doesn't completely suck. So check out the article on page 28 about the UCF SGA Senator who was recently impeached, for drinking after the World Cup (yes, he was 21... no, he wasn't plastered... and no, I don't think he should have been reprimanded, at all.) If that's not thrilling enough for you, read about Flugtag, Redbull's Flying Day, on page 46. And if you're looking for something scary, dive into the article on page 20 about the newly introduced Internet Kill Switch, which would give President Obama the power to literally shut down the Internet in emergency situations. I hope you enjoy this issue,
Michael McCormack, back\slash Content Director
10
\\ november - december - january \\ volume 3 issue 2
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
poli–sci
captures caps like magic fully CUSTOMIZABLE mounts ON FRIDGES and on walls
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
1,2,3 no mORE
CAPS EVERYWHERE
how back\slash opens beers nfl, mlb, ncaa licensed team logos www.clinkndrink.com
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ send us your feedback by emailing : letters@backslashonline.com
back\slash encourages you to submit your feedback, we will always respond...
Dear back\slash,
I really love your message. Just picked up a copy on campus, and I wish we had this when I was a freshman. I'm glad you launched a Tampa version. How can I join your team? _ Nora Thomas, UTampa Nora, Thanks! If you want to join the back\ slash team, simply email your resume to hr@backslashonline.com. Include what position you are interested in (writer, photographer, graphic designer, etc) and some samples of your work if you have them. We look forward to hearing from you! _the back\slash Staff 12
Dear back\slash,
Why did you guys feature yourselves on the cover of your own magazine? Isn't that a little self indulgent?
or Senate. If it ever does make it onto the agenda, chances are very unlikely that it will ever pass. We hope that’s true and we’ll keep you posted.
_Chris McIntosh, UCF
_the back\slash Staff
Chris,
Dear back\slash,
While our content team was developing last issue's feature on Motives (where we talked about why people do things people around them don't grasp the value of), we couldn't think of a better examples than our very own founders; so we started there, told their story, and then dove into the stories of 50 Cent, a potential Olympic Contender, and Steve Jobs. We felt that after eight issues, our readers deserved to know more about how back\slash came to be and the struggles our team faced while building the back\slash brand and business model. We know putting our own leaders on the cover took some nerve but that’s what we are about. We don’t restrain ourselves and if there is a story we think you need to know, we are going to tell it. We hope you enjoyed the feature regardless. _the back\slash Staff Dear back\slash,
I really liked your article on the Internet Kill Switch [published in the September Issue]. I had absolutely no clue that was going on. I’m curious what has happened with that issue since you last published. _Cynthia Ramos, FIU Cynthia,
While the internet kill switch bill passed committee, the article’s author, Alex Malbin, feels it is highly unlikely it will ever be introduced to the House
\\ november - december - january \\ volume 3 issue 2
Why do you feature sex positions in every issue? I think they are vulgar and unnecessary content. STDs and unwanted pregnancies run rampant on college campuses. Why do you think it is OK to promote promiscuity? _Sandra Woodard, UF Sandra,
Back\slash is here to entertain and inform the college community. We include sex positions because 1) sex is a major facet of the college lifestyle and 2) the positions we publish are pretty damn funny. We hope our readers understand that if they are getting it on, we’re simply offering them a way to spice things up. If you’re not having sex, we hope you can appreciate the entertainment value of what we feel are unique and funny sex positions. We always hope that our readers are educated enough about sexual health to use protection properly. Perhaps we will run a sexual health column in the future just to remind them, though. Thank you for the feedback.
_the back\slash Staff
corrections from last issue The photos for the Summer Splash Event at Wall Street Plaza published in the Orlando version of our September-October 2010 issue were taken by Chuck Davis, of Dracor Noir Photography in Orlando. We apologize for the omission of credit.
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
poli–sci
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
www.lifeatcollege.com
from game day to greek life
Paddle Kits • Official Merchandise for 100+ Universities • Customized Paddles • Gifts • Stadium Seating Tailgating Supplies and Games • Crests for over 90 Greek Organizations
10% OFF
USE PROMO CODE: Slash10 Offer valid only on orders over $25, expires 1/30/11, and excludes paddle kits and customized paddles.
www.lifeatcollege.com
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ to join our TEAM : send your resume to hr@backslashonline.com
staff Michael Mccormack Content Director
Rodney Jackson
Lauren Camar
Art Director
Production Manager
Advertising Department Senior Account Executive Sales Representative: Miami Sales Representative: Tampa Sales Representative: Orlando Sales Representative: Gainesville Sales Representative: Tallahassee Sales Representative: Atlanta
Joey Difrancesco, um BRIAN HENDERSON, FIU Erik Vosatka, uf Shannon o'keller, UCF Erin Butler, uf Tatiana Arias, fsu Brain thompson, GT
Editorial Department Allison banko, UF BRENDAN MACKESY, UM Stephanie Long, FIU Nelson Hernandez, FIU Ivan Flores, FIU Lauren NETSKe UM, Katie binns um, Alex Malbin, UM Editorial Contributors JOSEPH ROGERS UCF, Winegard Andrew Exis UCF, Stephanie (Miss Long) Long FIU, darryl heslop CORNELl, lara marsman UM, Tyler Merbler UM, alex monroe UTampa, MIKE MalbiN, lester hussie um, Erin Butler UF, Jim Michalek NEIT, Ariel Henderson trampa, Elissa garza gt, Lauren Netske UM, Kerri Finazzo UCF, Steve gordon FSU, courtney ward emory, chef lou ramirez j&w
Section Editor: "Poli–Sci" Section Editor: "On the Ball" Section Editor: "Reviews" Section Editor: "The Slash" Editor at Large Copy Editors
Art Department Graphic Designers the magnetist GT, cynthia plunkett UF, CASSANDRA BELLIARD AI Illustrator RODNEY JACKSON mica Photographers Matt Bontrager UM back\slash Magazine is published by Backslash, Inc., a Florida Corporation. A different version of back\slash is published for Miami, Orlando, Gainesville, Tampa, Tallahassee, and Atlanta. A total of 55,000 copies of this issue of back\slash were printed and distributed free of charge to students on and off campus by hand and in news stands. Unless otherwise noted, all materials Š 2010 Backslash, Inc. All rights reserved. Any reproduction in part or in full is strictly prohibited. The views and opinions expressed within are those of our contributors and are in no way endorsed by Backslash, Inc. Inc nor its staff.
1221 Brickell Avenue, 9th floor | Miami, Florida 33131 | 305.377.8796 14
\\ november - december - january \\ Vol 3 Issue 2
This Issue's Staff favorite
2010-2011 Acc Basketball Preview on Page 34
\
Propadrol EP Reg: $49 Sale: $35 (29% off)
Methyl Mass Reg: $69 Sale: $39 (44% off)
Hydroxycut Adv. Reg: $59 Sale: $30 (25% off)
Con-Cret Reg: $46 Sale: $26 (41% off)
Hydroxycut Max Reg: $59 Sale: $44 (17% off)
Axcite Magnum Reg: $59 Sale: $9 (85% off)
ALC + CLA Reg: $33 Sale: $17 (49% off)
3rd Degree Burn Reg: $67 Sale: $29 (57% off)
wholesale prices from fatburners to protein
Here at Supplement Kingdom, we are fitness nuts; so we actually use what we sell. And we’ll be more than happy to talk with you about our experiences with the products on our site. Simply put, our goal, is cutting out the "middle man." That’s why we can offer YOU some of the lowest prices on the net.
Use Coupon Code: backslash
FREE SAMPLES ON EVERY ORDER
Design Credits \\ Director, Mike McCormack \\ Photographer, Matt Bontrager \\ Graphic Designer, The Magnetist \\ MODEL: Sandy Lukowski The Supplement Kingdom logo is a trademark of Supplement Kingdom LLC.
Huma nities
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
the world of the arts
Nicki Minaj we barely know ya' wise words from Nicki To her haters "When I rap, it's just an extension of how I speak, and that's how I talk. If you don't like it, don't listen” – Complex Magazine "The people who still feel Nicki needs to prove herself -- I agree with them. I love the fact that people still feel like, 'Show me more, give me more,' because that's what I was born to do." – CNN On how she started off "I was thinking in my head I was going to be a famous actress. When I got out of high school, I didn't really want to take time and go and audition, I just wanted to get a job and work and get my own place." – CNN About her unique performances “I do lots of weird voices and I kind of act out my raps. That’s something that’s always been in me. Acting was always a part and faucet of my life. It just comes very natural.” – Illuminati 2G About Lil Wayne reaching out to her, “ I felt like the luckiest girl in the world.” – Illuminati 2G
16
By Lester Hussie, UMiami
I
It has come to my attention that in spite of all of her mixtape glory, solid ‘street cred’, outrageous personas and sex appeal, some of you still may not know who Nicki Minaj really is. I suppose we can allow a pass on that one seeing as how she has managed to seethe below the mainstream surface for years now, but expect to get the ‘do-you-live-under-a-rock’ look from your friends after late-November if you haven’t heard; because the ‘I-don’t-listen-to-rap’ excuse won’t save you.
\\ november - december - january \\ volume 3 issue 2
Nicki Minaj is an R&B/Hip-hop rapper/singer/ songwriter who hails from Queens, New York and is slowly but surely emerging from underground hip-hop to pop sensation. She attended the prestigious LaGuardia High School in New York City (the Fame school) and studied acting. Safe to say, Minaj is no stranger to drama. Her many personas and theatrical stage presence can probably be attributed to her time at LaGuardia High. After high school (and before stardom), Nicki spent more time struggling to
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
pay her rent than she did in the studio. She was working at places like Red Lobster and bargaining with her landlord to constantly give her an extension on her payments. Minaj began an un-assuming career in hiphop with a mixtape entitled “Playtime’s Over” followed by a cover of Biggie Smalls' “Warning” as part of ‘The Come-Up’ DVD series with Dirty Money CEO, Fendi. She eventually caught the attention of Young Money CEO and hip-hop titan, Lil’ Wayne. But the rest isn’t history, it’s hard work. Minaj cultivated her musical talents and has released and appeared on a number of mixtapes most notably “Beam Me Up, Scotty” and “Sucka Free” (the latter under the Young Money imprint). To top it all off, Minaj achieved the "Female Artist of the Year" award in 2008 long before bringing Barbie back to the hip-hop world. Between her awards and dynamic fashion sense, Minaj incites her loyal fans by appointing them ‘Harajuku Barbies’ (female) and Kenbarbz (male) using the Nictionary: A collection of words and phrases used by her devoted followers. Aside from that, Minaj has taken the opportunity - through her laundry list of guest appearances - to introduce us to a few friends of hers. The first being her alter-ego, Roman Zolanski. Zolanski is an immediate play on Roman Polanski and is pronounced Zo-lan-sky (with a British accent). Minaj actually denies appearing on hit tracks like Trey Songz “Bottom’s Up” and insists that it is instead her twin sister, Roman. And apparently Roman is the ‘crazy’ one. Then there’s her 2nd alter-ego
Onika, who stems from Minaj’s real name, Onika Maraj. She assures us that Onika is a smart and talented businesswoman. I wonder what Beyonce and Sasha Fierce have to say about this. One thing you’ll notice is Minaj’s undoubted similarity to veteran ‘femcee’ Lil’ Kim. Minaj must not only overcome the obvious ridicule in image but also the hurdles that a female emcee must endure to rise to the top of the currently male-dominated, mainstream hip-hop world. Is she up to the challenge? That decision, my friends, is up to you. So why is Nicki Minaj so important? And what does this have to do with us here at back\slash? I’m glad you asked… Reason No. 1: According to some of hiphop’s heavyweights, Nicki Minaj is poised to take hip-hop. Kanye West declared she will be the 2nd best emcee of all time (behind Eminem) and Jay-Z gave her the referral on her collaboration with Robin Thicke on “Shakin’ It 4 Daddy”. Not to mention her rumored professional relationship (or otherwise) with the Puff of all daddies: P. Diddy. And who could forget the already developed tutelage of Weezy F. himself (Nicki calls him her “sensei”). Reason No. 2: Minaj not only considers herself an artist, but more importantly a business woman. The music industry has sent many rappers (both male and female) through a revolving door of rags to riches to rags again. Minaj ensures us that with her mentality and work ethic that it’ll be a long time before we forget her name. In fact, Nicki endured a lengthy bidding war with a number of labels before considering officially signing with Young Money. She is rumored
humanities
\\\\
to have been in talks with Bad Boy, So Icey Ent. (Gucci Mane’s camp) and a management contract with Benny Medina (Jennifer Lopez’s former manager) and Minaj still took her time in deciding to sign with Young Money even after the single “Bedrock” became a hit last year. Minaj wanted to really consider the choice she was making as she knew it was more of a long-term investment in her future. Apparently, Nicki has no intention of going back to Red Lobster. Reason No. 3: Nicki Minaj regrets skipping college. That’s right team, Nicki Minaj wants to be just like you. Now before you whip out your ‘BS’ meters know this: Minaj is uncomfortable with the feeling of not having an education to fall back on, just in case she only has 15 seconds of fame. She feels she would be more suited to tackle the business world had she gone to college. She thinks the opportunity to be exposed to different environments and types of people will broaden one’s perspective and college is a chance to leave your comfort zone. And who isn’t a fan of Tuesday night beer-pong, Wednesday night procrastination, Thursday night bar-hopping and Friday night at the club? I think we all know the “experiences” Nicki is really talking about. We all know that success lies within the individual and long-term success for Minaj (as for all of us) remains to be seen. But isn’t it nice to know that an up-and-coming celebrity wishes she was in your house-partying shoes? Nicki Minaj will drop her official full-length album, Pink Friday on Monday, November 22nd, 2010.
volume 3 issue 2 \\ november - december - january \\
17
\\\
humanities
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
REVIEWS : books, music, board-games, tv, and documentaries 1
2
3
4
1 – Kings of Leon – Come Around Sundown 3 – Maroon 5 – Hands All Over
Waiting for Superman Documentary | “Nothing to be done,” says Estragon in the opening scene of Waiting for Godot. “I’m beginning to come round to that opinion,” responds Vladimir, as well as the millions of Americans who have all but given up on our nation’s failing public school system. Davis Guggenheim (An Inconvenient Truth) barrages us with every last horrific reason to give up hope for a savior, a Superman, someone – anyone – “with enough power to save us.” But once he has us all ready to throw up our hands and curse forever the Theatre of the Absurd which we call home, Guggenheim lifts the curtain on real hope. Not iron-clad hope, certainly, but real hope that some of the small-scale “experiments” by radical educators and administrators may actually have a chance to help more than just a sliver of our youth. Most hopeful of all is the documentary’s potential as an Inconvenient Truth-scale “turning point” in the national conversation regarding the future of our children and those evil teachers unions. 18
Rock | It’s hard not to notice Kings of Leon’s evolving sound since the release of Only by the Night. While the album did receive many mixed reviews and diehard fans weren’t particularly thrilled, it still triumphantly won Grammy awards for “Use Somebody” as Record of the Year, Best Rock Song and the Best Rock Performance by a Duo or Group with Vocal. Building upon the same polished formula of Only by the Night, KOL has returned two years later with Come Around Sundown. This time around, however, it’s about atmosphere and ambiance more than anything else. Each song is meticulously composed of unruffled melodies, echoing balladry, whimsical lyrics and ethereal guitar sequences that float and sway. Whether or not one chooses to call it all lofty or even dismal, it’s undeniable that the sonic atmosphere the Followills painted here may just leave them with some more awards in those genius hands of theirs.
Pop/Rock | For Hands All Over, Maroon 5
2 – Mark Ronson & The Business INTL
4 – Bruno Mars – Doo-Wops & Hooligans
ready evident that Mark Ronson was going to be an icon with the release of Here Comes the Fuzz and “Ooh Wee.” That reality became even more credible after Version made its rise. Now, with the unveiling of Record Collection, Ronson takes us through a hodgepodge of indie synth pop and enough punchy melodies to have us hooked for weeks. Leading track “Bang Bang Bang” brings together Q-Tip and MNDR for a flawless electro/ hip-hop treat. Full of 1980’s magnetism, “Somebody to Love Me” features Boy George and evokes a time when music was simple yet intricate. Shockingly (in a good way), “Glass Mountain Trust” captures long-lost D’Angelo tapping into his inner Cee-Lo/Sam Sparro. Stepping outside of the box to show us how much of a connoisseur he really is (try “Hey Boy” on for size), Mark Ronson once again proves that he has the longevity, substance and craft to stand the test of time as a brilliant DJ-producer.
B.o.B’s “Nothin’ On You” and Travie McCoy’s, “Billionaire,” talented producer/songwriter Bruno Mars (born Peter Gene Hernandez) steps out on his own with Doo-Wops & Hooligans. A mix of reggae, rock, hip-hop, pop and r&b inherited from his musical upbringing not only makes the album aptly suitable for mainstream radio; it also shows promise. For one thing, there’s the opening track, “Grenade” – a powerful, emotional introduction that reveals a slightly darker facade to the usual light, serenading falsetto we’re used to. Mars explodes with heartwrenching, angry emotion over "Love Lockdown"esque drums and poignant piano melodies. “Our First Time” finds Bruno in tune with his sexy side, and “Runaway Baby” showers our ears in upbeat rock/pop a’la Janelle Monae. Bruno Mars even has enough credibility to have names like Damian Marley (“Liquor Store Blues”) and Cee-Lo (“The Other Side”) make an appearance. One hit wonder? With a debut as solid as this one, he’s likely not.
Pop/Alternative/Electro | It was al-
\\ november - december - january \\ volume 3 issue 2
joined forces with producer Robert “Mutt” Lange (producer for AC/DC, Def Leppard, Nickelback, The Corrs, Billy Ocean and more) and the result was nothing short of sundry. Opening tracks “Misery” and “Give A Little More,” pick up where It Won’t Be Soon Before Long left off, flourishing with funky, groovy pop/rock bliss and garlanded with Adam Levine’s feather-light tenor. While the album is composed mostly of their usual pop/rock, we find the band playing with other genres, as well. “Stutter” ventures more into the realm of power pop, with its feisty guitar riffs and stadium-like drums, while “Out of Goodbyes” (featuring Lady Antebellum) undertakes country – and none of it sounds too awkward for a second. Borrowing from their core style and melding it with something new, Maroon 5 is letting us know that they’re back and more poised than ever.
POP | After writing and providing vocals for
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ 5
6
5 – Bored to death
TV Series | Bored to Death, the brainchild
of Brooklyn author Jonathan Ames, has some true comedic high points, but also some achingly dull points. Despite occasionally living up to it's title, Bored to Death has a brilliant cast. The extensive character development, along with an abundance of witty dark humor significantly make up for any low points. Jason Schwartzman (Rushmore) stars as the narrator, a “sometimes alcoholic” (but always a pothead) writer who decides he is bored with his life and sets out to create his own adventures by becoming an “unlicensed private detective.” While Schwartzman’s character has a few truly insightful moments, it is Ted Danson’s (Cheers) portrayal of a magazine editor that steals the show. Demonstrating he’s still got the comedic chops our parents loved him for, Danson drinks, womanizes, puffs weed, and reaps the benefits of his high society New York lifestyle and powerful publishing position without any perceivable responsibility. Danson, as a sixtysomething who doesn’t seem to have any direction is attempting to advise and/or hang onto the coattails of Schwartzman’s thirty-something who doesn’t seem to have any direction. Either way, the pair’s interactions are hilarious. They are, after all, both painfully clueless. Zach Galifianakis (The Hangover) stars as Schwartzman’s best buddy. A little more serious than his normal roles, Zach’s character completes the trio of irresponsible odd-balls. Bored to Death may actually bore you at some points, but it seems that may be intentional and the lulls consistently fit into the direction of the plot. If you’re looking for a nice way to spend a lazy Sunday, roll one up and check out Season 1 on DVD. While it may lag a little early on, once viewers develop a relationship with the series’ characters, they are sure to fall in love with this show’s quirkiness. Season 2 is currently airing on HBO and it has also been renewed for a third season.
\\\\
humanities
7
6 – freedom, the novel
book | When Jonathan Franzen showed up on the cover of Time magazine this past August (with the controversial headline “Great American Novelist”), he was the first living U.S. writer to do so in the post-9/11 world. He had not published a new work of fiction since September 1 of 2001, when The Corrections seemed to go a long way in “correcting” the course of the post-postmodern novel just in time for the apocalypse. Nine years later, the Freedom Tower remains an abstraction and American personal and economic freedoms become less tangible by the day. Happily, we do have Freedom, a dramedy that largely (but not completely) succeeds in broadly dissecting a modern American family without repeating his ideas from the previous decade. Yet, for my money, grad student James Fletcher topped any page of Freedom by ripping the novelist’s spectacles right off his face at a London book signing and leaving a ransom note for $100,000. The glasses peacefully regained their freedom hours later.
7 – Earth, the book
book | "“Wow, that is a clever juxtaposition
heh-heh-heh…” Stewart sarcastically giggles as he flips through this “comprehensive guide to the entire history of the human race” during his Amazon.com promo. As usual, he has a fantastic point. The follow-up to the mega-selling America the Book relies rather heavily on a familiar formula of ironic cultural mashups, from the juvenile to the pedantic. But so does the Daily Show itself, and the formula still has plenty of magic left in it. Stewart and his writers use textbook-style infographics to explain to future aliens “how we [humans] got here, what we accomplished, and of course how we [left].” And how do we end up losing our only home? Simple human stupidity, a menace which this book honorably attempts to “retroactively” cure.
The radient child - Tamra Davis Documentary | A documentary about the “Jimi Hendrix of the East Village” by the director of Billy Madison and Half Baked, The Radiant Child is every bit as entertaining as it sounds, and is far more deeply illuminating than either of those other “character studies” would suggest. Tamra Davis anchors her film in a 20-minute interview she conducted with Basquiat in the late 1980’s, an interview she had long vowed to keep private after the artist’s heroin-induced death in 1988. By itself, the never-before-seen footage warrants interest enough, as Basquiat’s brief, wondrous career remains a cultural enigma that needs as much daylight as it can find. Into that core Davis weaves a number of additional interviews with Basquiat’s contemporaries, including Julian Schnabel, his close friend, and Suzanne Mallouk, his girlfriend at the time, as well as a striking array of archival footage and photographs that retell an old story in a fresh way.
quelf – the board game Board Game | If you want to laugh your ass off then QUELF is the game for you. Not for those easily embarrassed, this game has its players take on new personas and perform hilariously random tasks. It’s perfect for getting to know people better (as long as you are comfortable making a fool of yourself or have a large supply of liquid courage). QUELF will make you look at your friends in a whole new light.
volume 3 issue 2 \\ november - december - january \\
19
\\\
humanities
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
Why in the hell do they Do it? what are their motives?
Somebody Something Olympic Athlete Works 15 hours per day "I do it because I am addicted to improvement, and right now, I'm hooked on improving the way mproving the way mproving the way I dive."
20
Somebody Something Olympic Athlete Works 15 hours per day "I do it because I am addicted to improvement, and right now, I'm hooked on improving the way mproving the way mproving the way I dive."
Somebody Something Olympic Athlete Works 15 hours per day "I do it because I am addicted to improvement, and right now, I'm hooked on improving the way mproving the way mproving the way I dive."
\\ november - december - january \\ volume 3 issue 2
Somebody Something Olympic Athlete Works 15 hours per day "I do it because I am addicted to improvement, and right now, I'm hooked on improving the way mproving the way mproving the way I dive."
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
humanities
\\\\
REVIEWS : winter ale beer reviews 8
9
10
11
8 – Old Rasputin Imperial Stout
10 – Double arrogant bastard
Brewed in: California, USA Appearance: Poured like Siberian Crude from the bottle. It has a jet black body with a creamy brown head and great retention throughout the beer. There are very nice sheets of lace Taste: All-in-all it is very complex and great tasting. The roasted malt adds nice character and feel to the beer. There's chocolate and caramel to sweeten things up, but the chocolate is bitter so there's more bitterness added. The dark fruits fill the middle of the beer. I get dates and raisins mainly. The coffee finish to the beer adds a great lingering bitterness with just a touch of sweetness Mouth Feel: Thick bodied. It wasn't too thick to where you couldn't enjoy it. It has the perfect thickness with a smooth, creamy, bitter finish. Definitely a stout for the unrestrained beer connoisseur, it is complex in flavor and character, and is a great beer to begin with or end the night with.
Brewed in: California, USA Appearance: Pours a gorgeous slight hazy dark amber color with some slight red and caramel hints. There is a nice oily and viscous look to it with a thin head that is light tan and vanishes quickly. The strong hop aroma is present as I pour it. Taste: Starts off with a slight earthy grain and a nice sweet caramel backbone that is then rushed out by some mouth coating citric explosion. It goes down dry and clean. There is a nice alcoholic warmth that coats the mouth on the back end. As the beer warms the caramel goodness really shines through and plays extremely well with the boozy sweetness. There is some slight grapefruit and pineapple from the hops as well but mostly sweet and warm. Mouth Feel: In terms of mouth feel this beer is near perfection, perfectly oily and viscous and full with great complex flavors. It is not for everybody, or as they advertise on the bottle’s label: “You are not worthy.” But, if you let the beer express itself you might just end up being labeled the “Arrogant Bastard”.
Russian Imperial Stout | 9% Alcohol
9 – Hercules Imperial I.P.A.
Imperial India Pale Ale | 10% Alcohol
Brewed in: Colorado, USA Appearance: Pours delightfully. A warm ruby-amber coloured brew glows from within. Semi-translucent, with beautiful clumps of bubble patterns on the surface. Nice lacing drifts down the side. Taste: Bready indeed, with a pervasive hop character that is chewy and supportive rather than bitter. The middle taste introduces a sweetness, perhaps from alcohol, that mingles with the hoppiness and wins out in the early aftertaste. Gradually the brown-sugar malt character fades, and a gentle hoppy dryness lingers. Mouth feel: Very full, chewy, bready, and dry, just what you want from an IPA of this caliber In retrospect, the beer will more than likely not provide you with the necessary muscle to make it back home, but if done in the right dosage it might just invigorate other muscles that really matter at the end of the night ….
American Strong Ale | 11% Alcohol
11 –Delirium Noel
Belgium Strong Dark Ale | 10% Alcohol
Brewed in: Belgium Appearance: The pour is a dark orange/amber color with a small off-white head. Dark sugar and caramel are the primary aromas with some notes of butterscotch, plums, and raisins. A hint of spice too, just to make it feel "Christmasy". Taste: Even more sugar on the tongue with the same contributors: dark candy sugar, caramel, and butterscotch. Some nice spice character along with plenty of fruit notes, including some orange zest, this time. Mouth feel: The body is medium with a bit lower level of carbonation than I usually associate with a Delirium (or really any Belgian) beer. You know Santa is coming to town, and it might just be YOU, drunk out of your mind, dressed with just a Santa Claus hat.
ThE throwback by Bumpy Jackson
1995 is the year that "Big Poppa" by BIG hit hard. Shaggy’s "Boombastic" was another hit that year along with Montel Jordan’s "This Is How We Do It." One of the most requested songs was "Cotton Eye Joe" by Rednex. The top song was "Kiss From A Rose" by Seal grabbing three Grammys. Dead Man Walking, The Usual Suspects and Braveheart were the best films. Se7en starring Morgan Freeman, Brad Pitt and Kevin Spacey really shook movie theaters. Speaking of deadly sins, the Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City was destroyed by a home grown terrorist bomb. The OJ Simpson verdict - “Not Guilty” divided the country while the Israeli Prime MinisterYitzhak Rabin was assasinated. On a lighter note, the most anticipated comic book was Watchman. Toy Story and Pocahontas captivate children of all ages. According to Car and Driver the Top car that year was the Acura Integra GSR. J. Craig Venter set to study, map and understand genomes this year, ultimately laying the foundation for synthetic genomics.
volume 3 issue 2 \\ november - december - january \\
21
poli sci
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
seven Collegiate entrepreneurs news and business
KEMBREL
Founded by Stephan Jacob and Cherif Habib Wharton MBA
KEMBREL is a private shopping community for college students that offers lifestyle brands at 4075% discounts off retail prices to their student members. The unique platform allows you to connect though Facebook and purchase some of the most popular brands at very affordable prices for five days. The founding team was formed at Wharton, one of the most prestigious MBA programs in the United States. The founders, Stephan Jacob and Cherif Habib, started putting together their thoughts for KEMBREL in December 2009. Less than a year later, they are fully launched and have already gotten some big brands to participate in KEMBREL, one of which is French Connection. In addition, they want to keep the experience student oriented, so all of their staff consists of current students. Their interesting platform is aimed to benefit students in addition to the companies selling through KEMBREL. Students get the opportunity to buy their favorite brands without breaking the bank, while companies get to reach their target market on an exponential level. Keep an eye out for KEMBREL and check it out for some ridiculous deals. 22
Eighties Babies USA Founded by Alex Stern University of Colorado
Always having had what some may consider to be “lofty goals”, 23-year-old Alex Stern is proving he has the ability to reach them, one company at a time. As manager for one of the most promising rising stars in the music industry, Sam Adams, and the owner of a flourishing clothing company, Eighties Babies USA, Stern is doing everything but sitting back and enjoying his success. With an immense passion for his projects combined with a desire to always be two steps ahead of the game, he has spent the last year touring with Adams and handling the business and creativity for his clothing line. Originally from Massachusetts, Stern went to the University of Colorado at Boulder where he was a Studio Art Graphic Design Major and where Eighties Babies USA was born. He quickly became obsessed with the idea of being able to share art and creativity in an efficient way and focused his efforts for the clothing line on social media and networking. With a rare and natural ability to combine his creativity with keen business savvy, Stern has quickly and successfully grown his brand.
\\ november - december - january \\ volume 3 issue 2
TodaysTeenOnline.com Founded by Ilana Jacqueline Palm Beach Community College (Florida)
Ilana Jacqueline has been writing since she was fourteen years old. She found a great outlet during high school, when she wrote for a local magazine called Today’s Teen Magazine. The publication folded when Ilana graduated and she was offered the rights to it. Ready to take a risk and always thinking big, she decided to face the challenge head on, making the magazine a national publication and further developing its web presence. Her website, TodaysTeenOnline.com, is a website for teenagers that is written by teenagers across the country, featuring content such as entertainment, fashion and style, videos, giveaways, and sex and relationships. All of her writers are volunteer contributors and under the age of twenty-one. Ilana is currently faced with the struggle of building readership and making more teens aware of the site. She believes the only way one can fail is by giving up and she adamantly refuses to go down that path. Ilana expresses what she believes to be the key characteristic of being an entrepreneur. “You have to get up, you have to keep going, and you have to be self-motivated.”
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
volume 3 issue 2 \\ november - december - january \\
poli–sci
\\\\
23
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
American watersports CALL US NEXT TIME YOU’RE IN Miami and WE’ll HOOK YOU UP
we rent out jet-skis boats & yachts 25% off a Jet Ski Rental
offer only valid with coupon. Coconut Grove Location Only
20% off a Boat Rental
offer only valid with coupon. Coconut Grove Location Only
2560 S Bayshore Drive | Miami, Fl 33133 | 305.856-6559
24
\\ november - december - january \\ volume 3 issue 2
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
poli–sci
\\\\\
collegiate Entrepreneurs : continued
New Charity Era
Paper feet
Founded by Joey Sasvari and Cameron MacMillan University of Florida MBA
Founded by Jimmy Tomczak University of Michigan
Entrepreneurs can seriously change the world; and these two UF MBA graduates truly believe they are. Their names are Joey Sasvari and Cameron MacMillan and they met in a social entrepreneurship class. All it took was that one class to motivate them to pursue the business they are working on today, New Charity Era, a company dedicated to delivering longterm assistance to under-developed and underprivileged communities worldwide. Cameron explains their plan, “Our goal is to release a series of products that will reinvent the contribution and charitable process.” The first product they will be releasing is called Raise the Village, which is a social game similar to FarmVille. The idea behind Raise the Village is that you get to build a village and when you purchase an intangible good for your village, an actual good will be donated to a real-life village in need.
You do not have to be a business major to be an entrepreneur. Take it from Jimmy Tomczak, who graduated from the University of Michigan in May 2010 with a degree in Neuroscience. He invented Paper-Feet, paperthin sandals made from billboard vinyl. The idea is so simple, yet so genius. Many people enjoy walking outside and enjoying the great outdoors, but it is not the best idea to do these things barefoot. Jimmy wanted to create a way for people to go outside and get the barefoot feel without actually being barefoot. After running tests and working to find the best material for the sandal, he unintentionally found the perfect solution - recycled billboard vinyl. He now makes these minimalist sandals right out of Michigan and is getting a ton of publicity. Don’t be surprised if you see Paper-Feet on the shelves next to the infamous Crocs shoes.
Celebrity Glam Squad
shows, weddings, and many other beauty events. Business was doing so well, she decided to do it full-time and put law school on hold. This was when Celebrity Glam Squad formed, an on-site beauty service company. Today they offer makeup services, massage therapy, waxing services, hairstyling, and beauty makeover services. She calls herself the “Diddy” of the beauty industry. Milande hopes to make Celebrity Glam Squad a nationally known company. And for those who are wondering, she does not plan to go back to law school.
Founded by Milande David University of Central Florida
Full-time mother, full-time wife, and full-time entrepreneur are all in her job description. Recent University of Central Florida graduate, Milande David, planned on going to law school after graduating, but her path took a serious detour. During her time in college she was doing way more than studying. She was working as a hair and makeup stylist at fashion
Leftos.com
Founded by Zach Lipson and Ken Wohl Michigan State University
Care to find out what the opposite sex is thinking? But isn’t that embarrassing and slightly lame? Not at Leftos.com (“Lessons For The Opposite Sex”), a place Zach Lipson and Ken Wohl have created to give people the opportunity to ask questions and express opinions about male and female interactions anonymously. It’s about time right?! The idea came from the founders' realization that there really was not a place to talk about male and female interactions online. In an effort to promote the website, they have contacted a great deal of blogs. Their goal is for Leftos to be a place that encompasses all issues dealing with men and women – a definitive online resource for those kinds of issues. Zach and Ken have high expectations for their new business. Keep an eye out for Leftos and join the conversation.
volume 3 issue 2 \\ november - december - january \\
25
\\\\\
poli–sci
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
Regionally relevant campus NEWS : straight from students
UF Professor Fired for Dog-like Behavior after multiple offenses Allison Banko, student University of Florida
‘Amazing’ FSU Student Receives Honor in Glamour Magazine Steve Gordon, student Florida State University
Hefty Donation Paves Way for GT Football Indoor Training Facility Elissa Garza, student Georgia Tech
parking at utampa invokes more and more complaints by the day, and nothing is being done to fix it Ariel Hernandez, student University of Tampa 26
Immature guys busting out snarky sexual comments are most always present on college campuses, but they’re not usually coming from the teacher. UF professor of Food and Resource Economics, Timothy Taylor, was fired for making inappropriate comments about his female students in lecture. Students complained to another professor about Taylor’s in-class behavior, alleging that he “indicated that in some cultures women liked to show their sexuality, dress promiscuously, and wear very revealing clothes,” when he was talking about Latina women, according to an Investigation Findings report. However, this incident was not Taylor’s first offensive swipe
at females. Taylor was suspended twice for his unprofessional behavior towards female students. One of the times included Taylor tousling a female student’s hair at a house party he held. Students also alleged Taylor would look female students up and down, while one time encouraging a student in class to get up and dance to her ringtone. Taylor has denied his most recent allegations, telling The Gainesville Sun, “If we can't go into a classroom and challenge people's beliefs and challenge them to be critical thinkers and maybe feel uncomfortable sometimes, how are we going to get them to think outside the box?”
A 21-year-old Florida State nursing student was honored in Glamour Magazine’s Top Ten College Women of 2010. The article, titled “Ten Amazing Women You Haven’t Heard of Yet,” was featured in the mag’s October issue and pinned Sophia Khawly as “the healer.” Khawly’s parents are from Haiti, and after a visit to the country, she was prompted at the mere age of fourteen to take action. Khawly and her family created the organization, Hope For Haiti’s Children. HFHC has formed two schools that serve
to educate 300 children of Haiti annually. Despite the earthquake that devastated Haiti earlier this year, HFHC schools were not harmed. After the disaster, Khawly even implemented building orphanages into the HFHC mission. The ten women featured in Glamour, each received $3,000 to go to the charity of their choice. Khawly chose to donate her sum to benefit Hope for Haiti’s Children. Previous winners on Glamour’s list include Oprah Winfrey, Diane Sawyer and Hilary Clinton.
Money may not buy happiness, but it certainly appears to make Georgia Tech football players pretty darn giddy. GT Alum and current CEO of Coca Cola Enterprises, John F. Brock and his wife, Mary, contributed a whopping $3.5 million of the estimated $6-7 million to cover the costs of the construction of an indoor training facility for the team. If the Athletic Association’s Board of Trustees approves the project, the construction will begin at the end of this year's football season and is expected to be completed
by the beginning of the 2011-2012 preseason. The proposed 80,000 square feet, covered facility will be built in place of the team’s artificial surface practice field. The team’s indoor facility would allow for more practice options when the hot Atlanta weather is not suitable for outdoor training. The facility will also serve to help GT in its recruitment. The school would be joining the minority of teams in the ACC who have indoor training facilities including Virginia Tech and Clemson.
Parking at the University of Tampa is driving the student body nuts. As college students, we don’t need to have to stress over finding a parking spot when we are already anxious enough about making it to that exam on time and actually doing well on it. First of all, as the student body continues to grow, parking on campus is not growing with it. Yes, a new commuter lot was opened, but its location and lack of security, as well as a few vehicle break-ins already, have students hesitant to utilize it. Secondly, the parking garages are a nightmare. Many students have returned to their cars to discover sizable damage. Most of the time, it is the student whose car was hit who reports the accident. Where is the garage
security? Where are the cameras recording such activity? Now you’re adding a whole new level to the stress of parking. Students facing damage to their only mode of transportation to classes, damage that they are not responsible for, that occurred while their vehicle was parked in a supposedly secure facility, is unacceptable. Do you know what happens to someone’s insurance premiums in such cases? Perhaps UTampa should allocate funds to more video cameras or more diligent security guards. However they decide to proceed, UTampa needs to step up its focus on student parking, for residents and commuters alike, if they wish to keep increasing the student population.
\\ november - december - january \\ volume 3 issue 2
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
poli–sci
\\\\\
Be a part of the experience! follow us to israel
Study abroad in one of the happiest places on earth. Swim in some of the best beaches in the world. Dance your night away with the hottest DJs on the planet
Tel Aviv Beaches Rated #6 in the World* *by National Geographic Magazine
Consulate General of Israel to Florida & Puerto Rico www.consulateisrael.com | 305.925.9400
volume 3 issue 2 \\ november - december - january \\
27
\\\\\
poli–sci
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
Regionally relevant campus NEWS : continued
independent ucf publication kNightnews.com holding ucf student government more accountable than ever Kerri Finazzo, student University of Central Florida
New reggae festival to hold inaugural event in downtown miami in late november Lauren Netske, student University of Miami
28
Thanks to Knightnews.com, the UCF SGA is being held more accountable than ever. Throughout the fall semester, Knightnews has uncovered numerous issues involving SGA President Kilbride’s expenses as well as the finances of the student government as a whole. These questionable activities include spending over $8,000 for accommodations at a resort for a conference that was only forty-four miles from the UCF campus, spending nearly another $8,000 on a desk for President Kilbride, and transferring $10,000 to the campus parking authority for a program called Zimride. Thanks to Knightnews.com, UCF students are now aware of this seemingly superfluous spending and are reacting accordingly. At this year’s Homecoming festivities, President Kilbride was booed by the student body. Their response is justifiable. With many students struggling to pay tuition, they do not want to hear about their activity dollars going to waste. President Kilbride has even blocked access to the activity and service fee database to all but his closest allies. This has outraged many at UCF, including some SGA senators who were excluded. With regard to the Zimride program, the student body has also expressed frustration, and the fear is that this pricy car pool program will never gain popularity on campus and result in a waste of funds. SGA members have continually dodged questioning from Knightnews.com, but the dedicated journalists on their staff persist with their quest for answers and provide updates to the saga on their site nearly every day. This campus news outlet should serve as an example for journalists at other universities. Hold your elected student government officials accountable for their actions. When your dollars are on the line, nothing is off limits. Knightnews.com has done a superb job at uncovering a controversy, while actively seeking accurate information and consistently listening to all sides of the debate. Students in Miami have an insatiable appetite for Reggae. And finally, we have a local festival to satisfy our endless cravings for mellow island beats. Bayside Rocks Festival is being promoted as the “Woodstock of Reggae.” This “journey directed by the unifying languages of the Arts” will take over Bayfront Park on Saturday, November 20, 2010. Festival-goers will be jamming to musical acts that promote peace and unity as well as viewing artistic displays that embody togetherness from 3pm ‘til midnight. And, attendees should expect to be entertained by the best. The lineup for Bayside Rocks Festival includes Bunny Wailer, Steel Pulse, Kulcha Shok Muzik, and more. The festival hopes to be “an experience that touches generations to come.” Find out more at baysiderockfestival.com.
\\ november - december - january \\ volume 3 issue 2
the bacK Slash vip Card
For most recent cardholder discounts, free drink offers, and promos from our advertisers go to: backslashonline.com/card
Never cover @ back\slash parties with this card.
VIP
Free drinks half price tickets Insider discounts MORE Free shit
GET yours today order FREE online at
backslashonline.com/card
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
volume 3 issue 2 \\ november - december - january \\
poli–sci
\\\\\
29
feat ure
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ by Lauren Netske
man playing god?
30
\\ november - december - january \\ volume 3 issue 2
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
feature
\\\\
TRY FOR A MOMENT TO IMAGINE a world where Humanity’s biggest problems are solved by scientists, who genetically engineer new life-forms that do whatever the hell we want—they turn sand into sandstone, waste into energy, Carbon-Dioxide into Oxygen; they create organisms that simultaneously make steel and erect skyscrapers. In this parallel universe, DNA is manufactured and implanted into cells, and humans literally control life on Earth. It sounds like sci-fi on steroids, but one man has spent his entire career envisioning and actualizing that future: J Craig Venter. Venter realizes that synthetic life could play a huge role in solving society's biggest dilemmas; and he is making sure that everything is done in order for science to get to the point where that sort of thing is possible. Starting with taking samples of the World’s simplest organisms, to mapping the entire human genome, to gathering vital information about the genetic makeup of the microorganisms that make Earth tick, Venter has been on a decisive path to genetic enlightenment for decades. His hope? That we all catch on. Rather than having our heads in the sand when it comes to genomics, Venter hopes society can accept and collaboratively work towards the goal of truly comprehending what it takes for life on Earth to exist. And along the way, he just might solve our dependency on fossil fuels, cure viruses that plague the human body, and reverse the trend of excess carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. Venter decided this can happen and he works every day to make sure it does.
SYNTHETIC LIFE
This year, Venter reached a pivotal point in his life’s work. On May 20th, 2010, Venter and his team manufactured the world’s first synthetic cell, named Mycoplasma mycoides JCVI-syn1.0. It consisted of a 1.08 million base pair chromosome. Venter and his team at the J Craig Venter Institute proved that a genome can be designed on a computer, chemically engineered in a lab, and transplanted into a replicated cell where the only controlling genome is the synthetic one. Now, do not mistake this with creating synthetic life entirely. The host cell was already in existence before replication started; but Venter and his team successfully computer manufactured the 1.08 million base pair DNA chromosome,
and transplanted it into the cell—then the cell took on new characteristics, based on the man/ computer generated DNA. Venter admits that understanding how a cell came to be is a lot of experimenting away, and has said that the creation of a human cell is even further in the distance. But, one needs to understand that this synthetic cell is Venter’s idea of creating a test subject. After a number of interviews with Venter, James Shreeve, of WIRED Magazine, summarized Venter's goal, “He imagines creating a Whole Earth Gene Catalog, complete with descriptions of every gene's function. If you want to find the role of 100,000 genes, Venter says, the trick is to find a way of doing 100,000 experiments at once. All you would need that's not already available is a synthetic genome, a sort of all-purpose template onto which you could attach any gene you wished, like inserting a blade onto a handle. You could then test the resulting concoction to see if it performed a specific vital task, such as metabolizing sugar or transporting energy.” If Venter’s goal is to interpret the function and interactions of every gene present on the planet, a good place to begin is the right control group – a cell with predetermined functionality upon which all subsequent changes to the genome could be tested both thoroughly and concurrently. Has Venter lost his mind? Absolutely not. With the creation of Mycoplasma mycoides, Venter has solidified another vital step in his lifelong genomic educational process. In the J Craig Venter Instutute’s press release regarding the creation of synthetic life on May 20th, 2010, Dr Venter stated: “For nearly 15 years Ham Smith, Clyde Hutchison and the rest of our team have been working toward this publication today--the successful completion of our work to construct
a bacterial cell that is fully controlled by a synthetic genome. We have been consumed by this research, but we have also been equally focused on addressing the societal implications of what we believe will be one of the most powerful technologies and industrial drivers for societal good. We look forward to continued review and dialogue about the important applications of this work to ensure that it is used for the benefit of all.” In the same release, his colleague, Dr. Ham Smithe, clarified, “With this first synthetic bacterial cell and the new tools and technologies we developed to successfully complete this project, we now have the means to dissect the genetic instruction set of a bacterial cell to see and understand how it really works." Clearly, synthetic life is just another piece to Venter’s wild puzzle. It will allow him to experiment on the genome on a whole new level and (hopefully) make huge strides in science’s quest to understand the true make-up of life on Earth.
HOW VENTER GOT HERE
So, how did Venter decide to take on a project of such magnitude? How does one make the transition from laid back surfer with average grades to arguably the most powerful scientist in the world today? After returning from a tour with the Navy in Vietnam, Venter jumped straight into academia. His experiences as a field medic had left him wanting to make a difference for mankind, so he followed the path to medicine, and quickly transitioned into the field of scientific medical research, where Venter clearly recognized his talents would be better utilized. The man sees (not just the big picture but) the widest angle you can
volume 3 issue 2 \\ november - december - january \\
31
\\\
feature
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
vaccines (which is what he just did in May).
BEYOND THE HUMAN GENOME
imagine. Sure, working on one patient at a time would have been satisfying, but he knew that experimenting on a genetic level would yield results that would benefit mankind in its entirety. Following a brief stint as a professor in New York, J Craig Venter started working for the National Institute of Health (NIH). In 1991, while still working for the NIH, he had his first major accomplishment. He created a method for rapid gene discovery called Expressed Sequence Tags (ESTs.) A decade later, Venter took the next big step in his carreer – he, along with his team at The Institute for Genomic Research, mapped the first entire genome of a free-living organism. It was just for a mere bacterium, but the success of his new shotgun technique paved the way for Venter to take on a life-altering challenge – The Human Genome.
MAPPING THE HUMAN GENOME
Although Venter made some very significant scientific discoveries early in his life—having to 32
do with genetic tagging—his real notoriety began with the human genome project. In 1998, after essentially challenging the government-run Genome Project to a duel, an antagonizingly confident Venter espoused that his methods would be better and faster. He raced them to the finish line at a sprint, eventually ending in a “tie” using his shotgun method of mapping a genome. (A method that many of his colleagues believed would not work at all.) Whether they loved or hated him, the scientific community could not get over the fact that Venter had done something that only a few years prior had seemed impossible. He had mapped the human genome, very quickly, and made its contents available through a public database. What many fail to understand, though, is that Venter only took on the human genome project because it was necessary in order for him to complete his next task: synthesizing a genome in order to create cells that can be used for a multitude of hypothesized purposes, including bio-fuels and
\\ november - december - january \\ volume 3 issue 2
J Craig Venter still downplays the achievement of mapping The Human Genome, always hoping to give his audience a glimpse of the bigger picture. When asked in an interview with SPIEGEL Online in July 2010 whether the Human Genome Project has had any tangible medical benefits so far, Venter responded, “ Close to zero to put it precisely.” He reasons that this is due to the fact that first and foremost, the Genome Project gave scientists probabilities, not definitive medical results. They certainly cannot make a diagnosis based on genetic information, yet; they can just guess one’s estimated likelihood of having a disease. Additionally, scientists have only really just begun the quest to understand the specific function of every gene. Venter believes we are years away from being able to know the function of individual genes precisely enough to recognize causal patterns. This is needed to truly manufacture genes, rather than just replicate already existing life with slight changes. But, he keeps making progress, once seemingly giant step at a time. And the more we know about genes as a whole, the closer we will come to fully understanding life. Upon completion of his human genome marathon, complete with some bickering with other scientists, and his public removal from Celera (his privately funded investor for the genome project), Venter took off on a new adventure. Making sure his fun-levels remained ever-high, he decided to sail around the globe – for science,
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
of course. This time, his goal was to add to the ever-growing list of microorganisms on the planet, all the while discovering new genes and their functions. He set sail on a 95 foot yacht-turned-research-vessel, aptly named Sorceror II, and circumnavigated the globe collecting samples. In an interview with James Schreeve, of WIRED Magazine, a colleague of Dr. Venter’s on the Sorceror II expedition, E.O. Wilson, stated, “Venter is one of the first to get serious about exploring that world in its totality. This is a guy who thinks big and acts accordingly.” Venter is just trying to shed light on a field on which he feels the scientific community is highly undereducated and unfocused on. Once again, Venter believes that the big puzzle cannot be solved until we understand all of the pieces. What are the intricacies that make planet Earth function the way it does? He’s on the right path, starting with identifying thousands of new species of microorganisms on the Sorceror II trip. Microorganisms are the basis of our entire food chain and play a huge role in cycling carbon, oxygen, and nitrogen throughout the atmosphere. (And if Venter is hoping to synthetically create fossil fuels, starting with main players in the carbon cycle is probably a wise choice) Upon returning from his circumnavigation, Venter kept his ever-expanding project going, getting straight to work interpreting the results from his trip, while beginning to develop a synthetic genome. Some have criticized the project, citing the ethical implications of “playing God.” But Venter and his colleagues are open to such
feature
\\\\\
conversations and the J Craig Venter Insitute not only works on “human, microbial, plant, and environmental genomic research” and “seeking alternative energy solutions through genomics”, but also “the exploration of social and ethical issues in genomics.”
to an understanding about the benefits of such research on Humanity. Bioterrorism is a significant and justified fear, but scientists are already regulated when requesting certain (potentially dangerous) chemicals, so why can’t those chemicals include those used for creating a genome?
WHAT IS TO COME
CONCLUSION
While some of his colleagues may still doubt Venter’s financial motives for genome mapping, his research is garnering a lot of privately-funded attention. Right now, he’s focused on creating cells that will produce energy for mass consumption by humans. He believes that by altering the genetic structure of simple organisms, they will be able to convert abundant substances, such as sugar or carbon dioxide, into diesel fuel or gasoline. Have doubts? Venter is confident that his creations will fit into our existing societal infrastructure (hello, microorganism-based gas stations) and actually offer more efficient energy solutions. He also thinks he will be able to virtually reverse global warming by taking excess carbon from our atmosphere and converting it into more useful compounds. ExxonMobil certainly believes in him. They have extended Venter $600 million in funding to synthetically develop fuels. We are looking at quite a different outlook for our future if he is as successful with biofuels as he was with the human genome project. One thing is certain: Venter will not stop here. While ethical and political questions arise when anyone tries using genomics and synthetic cell creation for antivirals and antibacterials, Venter feels that science and government will come
J Craig Venter is simultaneously attempting to comprehend every aspect of genomics (not just in human beings, but in all life), beginning to engineer petrochemicals to halt the world’s energy crisis (while spinning that pesky carbon dioxide problem our atmosphere is facing in the total opposite direction), and revolutionizing pathology and immunizations. He is a complexly brilliant man who, while focusing on the big picture, is decisively evolving modern science one (relatively speaking) small project at a time. Whatever the outcome of Venter’s quest, it should offer us hope that there are still revolutionary/rebel scientists deciding to dedicate their lives to gaining as much knowledge as possible about the most minute nuances (but perhaps the most important); because Venter and those like him are the ones who actually expand our understanding of Humanity, our place in the world, and our interactions with the other species on the planet. Venter describes his overall goal as being as complex as trying to understand everything in the universe. This is his chosen path; this is what he wants to do; and he hasn’t let anything or anyone stand in his way. Who wins in the end? Humanity. And that’s exactly what Dr. Venter wants…
volume 3 issue 1 2 \\ november - december - january \\
33
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ on the ball
sports
2010 – 2011 Acc basketball Preview BC
Clemson
duke
The winds of change are blowing around Chestnut Hill. Gone is long-time coach Al Skinner and in is former Cornell front-man Steve Donohue. Out with the old, and in with the new. Donohue will need to endear himself to a leaguehigh seven seniors and eleven total returning players. How this veteran team responds to a new coach will be a top storyline in the ACC this year, especially considering Rakin Sanders arguably the Eagles’ best player - opted to transfer. Although BC only won six league games last year, the Eagles figure to be one of the ACC’s better teams and could secure a NCAA tournament bid. Look for forward Joe Trapani and guard Reggie Jackson to be the leading scorers on this squad.
Clemson is another team under new leadership. After Oliver Purnell shocked the college basketball world by bolting for DePaul, Clemson plucked Brad Brownell from Wright State. While not exactly the “hottest” name on the rising coach landscape, Brownell coaches a tough fundamental style of basketball that figures to help the Tigers shore up their defense. Brownell cannot make excuses - Clemson has experience and talent at every position. The Tigers feature a triumvirate of dangerous perimeter scorers in Tanner Smith, Noel Johnson, and Andre Young, and a formidable post presence in Jerai Grant. Clemson should finish in the middle of the ACC this year with a record around .500.
The defending national champions return with a wealth of talent. Kyle Singer anchors an improved front court, and Nolan Smith and the Plumee brothers should all see their numbers increase this year. Coach Mike Krzyzewski convinced the top point guard recruit in the nation, Kyrie Williams, to run the Blue Devils offense this season. Williams will be joined in the backcourt by fellow newcomers Seth Curry (a Liberty transfer who happens to be the brother of star Stephen Curry), and Tyler Thorton, another talented freshman point guard. In what many consider to be a “down” year in the ACC, Duke should have no problem winning the conference again, and making a run at another national championship.
FSU
GT
maryland
Florida State is one of the most intriguing teams in the ACC – the Seminoles have the potential to make some major noise in the conference. How FSU makes up for the losses of center Solomon Alabi and forward Ryan Reid is big, but to get back to the tournament the Noles must improve their three-point and free throw shooting. Underrated point guard Deividas Dulkys, who shot 40 percent from three-point land last year, should help with those numbers. Forward Chris Singleton is also poised for a breakout campaign after noticeably improving the past two years. If 6’11, 230 pound man-beast Xavier Gibson figures out how to play, watch out. Coach Leonard Hamilton has recruited well for the ‘Noles, so depth should not be an issue. Florida State should be dancing in March. 34
With Favors and Lawal leaving for the NBA, this could be a long year in Atlanta. They were the best front-court duo in the ACC last year, and accounted for 17 rebounds and 25 points per game. Luckily for Coach Paul Hewitt, the Yellow Jackets are quite deep in the backcourt. Junior Iman Shumpert is a stud that should compete for conference player of the year. The experience sophomore point guard Mfon Udofia gained last year should pay significant dividends. Maurice Miller, Brian Oliver and Glen Rice Jr. can all light it up from outside. Unfortunately, Tech’s issues up front will allow other teams to heavily defend the perimeter, and prevent the guards from getting second-chance shots. Coach Paul Hewitt knows this is a rebuilding year – Georgia Tech will likely finish around the bottom of the ACC.
\\ november - december - january \\ volume 3 issue 2
The Maryland Terrapins lost their top three scorers from last year, most notably Memphis Grizzlies draftee Greivis Vasquez. So Coach Gary Williams will turn to stud center Jordan Williams, who finished second in ACC Rookie of the Year voting in 20092010, to offset the losses. Williams should also be helped by a decent group of guards more known for their defense than for their offense - in Sean Mosley, Cliff Tucker and Adrian Bowie. Maryland always has quality young talent; however, Williams may not have the luxury of allowing them to develop this year. While Maryland’s underclassmen should get great experience, the Terps will endure some growing pains along the way. This squad is probably NIT-bound, but who knows, weirder things have happened.
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
UMiami
Wake forest
sports
\\\\\
VTech
UM fans have reason to be cautiously optimistic this year. The Canes took their licks rebuilding last season, but are poised to make some noise in a “down” ACC. Miami will rely on sophomore sensation Durand Scott to take on more of a leadership role and put up big scoring numbers. Villanova transferee Malcom Grant should also be improved after a year in Coach Frank Haith’s system, and talented center Reggie Johnson looks ready to take over full-time for the departed Dwayne Collins. Miami has been tabbed to do big things before and wilted under the pressure. But if this Canes team matures and buys into Haith’s defense-first philosophy, there is no reason they shouldn’t be in the NCAA tournament.
Wake Forest’s 20102011 season is the definition of a “rebuilding year.” With a new coach in Jeff Bzdelik, and a single returning starter in C.J. Harris, the Demon Deacons will be operating from square one. Wake does have one thing the rest of the ACC doesn’t, and that’s size. 6’11 Tony Woods, 7’ Ty Walker, and 6’11 Carson Desrosiers all pose matchup problems for the rest of the conference. However, the Demon Deacons are still very young and inexperienced, which will likely cost them some close conference games. Bzdelik is a good hire and he will bring some great players to Winston Salem. But for now, Wake Forest will need to overachieve to have any real success in the ACC.
Virginia Tech will have a chip on its shoulder after being left out of the NCAA Tournament a year ago despite a 10-6 conference record. Christmas came early for coach Seth Greenberg when the ACC’s top assist leader Malcom Delaney opted to return for his senior year. Delaney is an elite point guard who should create excellent scoring opportunities for the rest of the Hokies. VT also returns the rest of its key starters from a year ago, including rebounding monster Jeff Allen. Greenberg’s team is pretty small overall. This might be an issue in VT’s difficult out-of-conference schedule, but not in the size-challenged ACC. The Hokies should compete for the conference championship this year and are a lock for the NCAA tournament.
NC
NC State
Virginia
To say that last season was one to forget in Chapel Hill is an understatement. NITberths just don’t happen at schools like North Carolina, and expectations demand that coach Roy Williams get the Tarheels back to the NCAA tournament this year. Unfortunately for Williams, he will have to do so with virtually no frontcourt depth. Former leading scorers Ed Davis and Deon Thompson are now balling in the NBA and two of Williams prized recruits from a year ago - David and Travis Wear - both opted to transfer to UCLA. Tyler Zeller and John Henson will be under tremendous pressure to stay out of foul trouble, and blue-chip recruit Harrison Barnes will be asked to contribute right away. North Carolina still has enough talent to get back to the Big Dance, but it won’t be easy.
North Carolina's Coach Sydney Lowe cannot make excuses if his team underperforms this year. The Wolfpack return a wealth of talent, including forward/center Tracey Smith, who averaged 16.5 PPG last year and could have gone pro. Lowe also brought in an impressive recruiting class for NC State this year, highlighted by one of the top power forward recruits in the nation in C.J. Leslie. N.C. State also features a deadly perimeter threat in Scott Wood, and an improving sixth man in Deshawn Painter with plenty of untapped potential. Although the Wolfpack have not reached the NCAA tournament in Lowe’s first four years as coach, that should change this season. N.C. State will be a force to be reckoned with in the ACC.
After finishing with a 15-16 in his first year as coach, Tony Bennett may be hard pressed to see much improvement from his team this season. Bennett has brought in some excellent players, but they are still a year or two away from being ready to contribute significantly. In the meantime, Virginia will rely on senior forward Mike Scott to do much of the heavy lifting. Scott averaged over seven rebounds a game last year and is a force in the post. If Scott can create opportunities for the Cavaliers’ threepoint-shooters, namely guard Sammy Zeglinksi, UVA could surprise some people. However, without a true go-to scorer it may be difficult for UVA to score with much consistency. An NITbirth is a realistic goal for this squad.
volume 3 issue 2 \\ november - december - january \\
35
Photo: Dave Meyers 36
\\ november - december - january \\ volume 3 issue 2
volume 3 issue 2 \\ november - december - january \\
37
the slash
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
random but relevant
insane \\ Laws
SHITTY \\ Businesses
Members of the Georgia state assembly cannot be ticketed for speeding while the state assembly is in session.
MCDONALD’S Franchisees make their own decisions about honoring coupons from corporate (these coupons are usually given as an apology for complaints about shitty service to begin with.) One Mickey D’s in Miami refused to accept the “apology” coupons given to a back\slash reader after she had a terrible experience with a misinformed McDonald’s employee. Particularly in South Florida, these franchise owners have major cojones and the fast, yummy food does little to make up for it.
In Atlanta, it is illegal to tie a giraffe to a street lamp or telephone pole.
Issues \\ Of the Issue Wanna keep privatizing services? I’ll bet you do! Because that’s what we’ve been working towards here in the states, and in the case of some, it may be a problem (but only for them). Firefighters in Tennessee let a man’s house burn down because he didn’t pay a $75 subscription fee for the services provided. Don’t worry, once they privatize Medicaid, death will have a lower co-pay. Quick hit to those who are protesting at soldier’s funerals. Cut the shit. These soldiers are fighting so you have the right to hold up those macaroni picture/ paper mache heaps of bullshit you call “protesting.” If one of these soldiers’ fathers kicks your head in for shouting gay slurs at a funeral, please see the previous entry for advice regarding your insurance coverage. Your insurer can provide you with information about how many stupidity-related injuries you are covered for each year. I am furious Kanye’s new album will not be named Good Ass Job. That was fucking priceless. We, as a nation, have been robbed. (We’ve also been robbed of his original cover art by Walmart, but that’s an entirely different issue.) 38
In Roswell, GA, the floor of any porn shops must be smooth and non-absorbent. In Lousiana, you face a $500 fine if you have a pizza delivered to someone without them knowing about it. In Sarasota, FL , it is illegal to sing in a public place while wearing a bathing suit. In Florida, if an unmarried woman parachutes on a Sunday, she can be arrested and face fines and/or jail time. In Florida, rats are prohibited from leaving ships docked in Tampa Bay. In Miami, it is illegal for a man to wear a strapless gown. When getting it on in Florida, only the missionary position is legal. In Georgia, movie theatres that want to operate on Sundays need to air at least one religious movie per month. In Kennesaw, Georgia, it is illegal for anyone NOT to own a gun (with the exception of convicted felons, conscientious objectors, and the disabled.)
\\ november - december - january \\ volume 3 issue 2
COMCAST This cable-giant consistently comes up when we ask back\slash readers to share their experiences with shitty businesses. Seems Comcast’s biggest complaint generator is their customer service. All of the other issues that readers have had with the company could have been easily resolved if they simply had competent, friendly, and informed staff members manning their phone lines. But alas, those faced with inexplicable service outages, billing errors, and being charged for numerous service calls while Comcast unsuccessfully attempts to diagnose a problem, are only met with long wait times on the phone, numerous transfers between departments, and generally vague responses. We can only hope Comcast will shape up, but it doesn’t seem likely. Once your done waiting on hold for two hours, they will simply move on to swindling the next poor consumer.
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
the slash
\\\\\\
ABSURDIST \\ Revolutionary Did you hear about the profit return from the bank bailout? How about the recent rumors over accusations by and against a Supreme Court Judge? No? Of course not! Who cares? We have better things to worry about, like real life, having a job, playing video games, or going to school.
RELIGION \\ The Church of Euthanasia Do you suffer from extreme guilt every time you take a bite of red meat? Do you believe that every breath you take is proof that you are an evil that is plaguing the earth? Do you feel that sex acts that may result in procreation are disturbing? Then do we have a church for you! The Church of Euthanasia (not the children of Asia, but rather the concept of death as a means of ending suffering) prides itself on “4 pillars”: suicide, abortion, cannibalism and sodomy (this is a tax exempt organization for those of you with a morbid curiosity). These people are fucking sick. I was going to come up with some in-depth analysis, but the only positive thing about them is pushing emergency contraceptives (albeit for very different reasons). They
DRUG \\ Acid
advocate “voluntary” suicide (I know of no other) while their founder, the Reverand Chris Korda, is alive and well (his response? “It’s voluntary”. I’m still not convinced). Also, the cannibalism bit is more of a shock value tool, but still pretty, ah, how can we put this? Off. They only eat humans that are already dead (or so they claim, most are vegetarians anyways). They used to provide tips on killing yourself, but that page has become impossible to find in the wake of investigations into this so-called church. So, however nihilistic you may feel, however much you may loathe those around you, realize you can always find something worse. Whatever helps you sleep at night I suppose.
LSD, or lysergic acid diethylamide for those not into the whole brevity thing, is the drug that defined a decade (the 60s) and the counterculture it spawned. It is a simple chemical structurally similar to Ergot (a fungus that grows on grain), and has incredibly complex results. The dosing is simple enough, depending on the method (stamps and tablets are popular) and all are extremely potent. The mind-bending capabilities, pushed forth by so-called prophets like Timothy Leary (turn on, tune in, and drop out) and incredible writers like Ken Kessey (One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest / The Electric Kool Aid Acid Test) and Hunter S. Thompson (Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas), are nothing to scoff at. Taken properly, the effects last anywhere from 10-12 hours or more. Essentially, if you choose to partake, make sure you’ve cleared your schedule. Another production note is that while expensive (estimates vary), for the level and intensity, it is a bang for your buck deal (also, not an everyday quickie). Remember on the amusement park rides they’d tell you keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times? Apply the same knowledge towards your mind. Keep your grasp on it. And as the walls melt, your dead grandmother stalks you with a knife, you skip through a rainbow or find the edge of the world; remember, it’s all in your head.
If you think politics is a boring waste of time, I present to you, the Absurdist Revolutionary Party. Nicholas Goroff, of Hillsborough County, New Hampshire, has decided to run for County Attorney. The catch? In this race, there is no mandate that candidates actually be attorneys, or know anything about law in order to run for the position. Goroff decided due to the absolutely ridiculous atmosphere surrounding politics today, combined with the chance to win an election to become a protector and representative of the law for the people, he had no choice but to run for County Attorney. Goroff, founder of the Absurdist Revolutionary Party (ARP), has endorsed himself, and has quite a unique platform. His website reads “Hillsborough County doesn't need another lawyer for its attorney! Help us move past the days of careerist politicians and elect someone who is at least honest about how absurd his candidacy is!” During my recent time with Goroff, he told me what he will address as soon as he wins the election. “I've promised, as Hillsborogh County Attorney, I’ll oppose wasteful spending, solve the case about the Old Man in the Mountain's collapse, (Goroff believes John McCain may be behind the conspiracy) cut the budget, create peace in the Middle East, and solve world hunger.” More to the point, Goroff gave a full description of the experience he will bring as County Attorney. “I'm not a lawyer and I don't pretend to be, unless I'm being pulled over by the police or explaining to my girlfriend why I feel the Halloween candy bulk variety pack is such a great deal when we both know that there will be no trick-ortreaters coming by.” I know this all sounds a bit Absurd, but that is what the Absurdist Revolutionary Party is all about. Although you are reading this from everywhere but Hillsborough County, NH, you can help support Goroff, and future ARP candidates simply by ‘liking’ his facebook page.
Never take drugs recreationally; above only. volume 3 issue 2 \\ november - december - january \\ article for educational purposes
39
\\\\\
the slash
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
STRIKING \\ Statistics
Epic \\ Jokes
would you \\ Rather
Students that study abroad drink more. A recent study at the University of Washington found that students in study abroad programs consumed an average of eight drinks per week, double that of which they drank at home. Students who went to Europe, New Zealand, or Australia drank the most.
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer. He asks the bartender how much it will cost and the bartender says: “For you, no charge.”
Would you rather to always have to tell the truth or to always have to lie?
Have you heard about divorced Barbie? She comes with half of Ken’s possessions.
According to an AAP Study, video games caused 696 injuries between 2004 and 2009. Q. What is the biggest crime committed by transvestites? According to the NIDA, a person who smokes A. Male fraud. marijuana is 104 times more likely to use cocaine than a person who never tries pot. Q. What do you call 12 blondes in a freezer? Per the National Survey on Drug Use and A. Frosted flakes. Health (NSDUH) in 2009, males were more likely to drive under the influence than fe- Q. How do you circumcise a hillbilly? males. (15.6 percent v. 8.6 percent) A. Kick his sister in the jaw. The NSDUH also found that in 2009, 2.3 Q. Why isn’t it safe to play poker in million people tried pot while 617,000 and Africa? 180,000 tried cocaine and heroin respective- A. Because you might lose to a cheetah ly. So where’s the correlation coming from that makes marijuana a gateway drug?
Would you rather have baseball bats for arms or hockey sticks for legs? Would you rather drink a liter of tobacco spit or a gallon of month-old bong water? Would you rather only listen to your favorite song and no other music, for the rest of your life, or be able to listen to anything you want except for your favorite song? Would you rather work for Jack Donaghy (30 rock) or Michael Scott (The Office)? Would you rather live the life of the characters on Beavis and Butthead or Avatar?
the art \\ Of Dorm Room Sex Women’s Studies Take a break from your homework, clear your workstation, and bend over the desk. Have your man remove your clothes and then get you warmed up. You’re in charge; make sure he understands the curriculum. Once ready, hold onto the far side of the desk and have him enter you from behind. Find a rhythm and then have him take hold of your legs as you slowly elevate them relying on the desk for support. Once relieved, you can concentrate anew. Having gotten an O you’re ready to earn an A. 40
The Alfred Hitch-cock A sex act for cinema students and voyeurs, a bottle of red lubricant is necessary. While your girl friend is showering with the door ajar peek through the opening and watch her. Ready the lubricant and strip in preparation. Once she is finished bathing burst through the door and soak your succulent victim in lubricant. Then enter the shower rubbing the warming gel across her tender frame. With her consent make slippery love; another shower will probably be necessary.
\\\\ november november- -december december- -january january \\\\ volume volume33issue issue2 2
Long Leg Division For Long Leg Division, you need to add one female and one male, subtract clothing, and add a condom. The female should then position herself so that she is lying on her side with her hips at the edge of the bed. She should then spread her legs so they look like an inequality sign (< to remind all of the social studies and art majors) and the man enters her. While locked in union the man practices his multiplication tables out loud, the goal is to get to 4X8 before climaxing. \\ by Joseph Rogers
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
the slash
\\\\\
Drink \\ Recipes C3po – Captain Morgan spiced Rum – Pineapple Juice – Tropicana Peach Orchard Punch
FOOD \\ Recipes
Instructions: Mix one part Captain Morgan spiced rum with one part Tropicana Peach Orchard Punch. Add a splash of pineapple juice and pour over ice. This drink is an easy, delicious concoction. Have enough of these on a hot afternoon and you’re bound to end up doing the robot - or talking unintelligibly in one of C3PO’s hundreds of fictional languages. Funky cold Medina – 1 oz Absolut® vodka – 1 oz Southern Comfort® peach liqueur – 1 oz Blue Curacao® liqueur – top with cranberry juice – ice Instructions: Pour over ice and top off with cranberry juice.
DRINKING \\ Games FLIP, SIP, OR STRIP : This simple game is great to play with a group and is guaranteed to get everyone drunk and naked. All you need is some liquor, a coin, and group of sexy guys and girls. The first player guesses heads or tails and flips a coin. If correct, they can pass the coin on to the player on their left. If incorrect, they have to choose between doing a shot and removing an article of clothing before they can pass the coin. Simple right? To keep things interesting, no one can make the same choice for more than two “wrongs” in a row. MEXICAN CAR CRASH (AKA, THE STUNTMAN) : For those who have had way too much, feel the need to impress/disgust a group of pals, or are just fucking insane, the Mexican Car Crash is perfect. First you snort a line of salt. Yes, up your nose. Then, you take a nice big shot of tequila. (Which will hopefully you numb for the next part.) Finally, to really crash and burn, you squeeze lime juice in your eye. Ay caramba! (This is for entertainment purposes only. Do not actually try to do this, you could die.) PLEASE DRINK RESPONSIBLY
MICROWAVE EGG SANDWICH – 1 egg – 1 English muffin – 2 slices bacon – 1 slice cheese – Butter – Ketchup and hot sauce to taste Instructions: Crack egg into microwave safe mug. Microwave on high for approx. 1 minute 10 seconds. Wrap bacon slices in paper towels and microwave for approximately 3 minutes. Toast English muffin. Spread butter on English muffin and carefully remove egg from the mug. (It will be the PERFECT shape!) Place the egg patty onto the English muffin and add cheese and bacon on top. Use ketchup and hot sauce to taste. (You can also substitute sausage or Canadian bacon. Just be sure to cook them thoroughly.) HOME-MADE POTATO CHIPS – 1 potato (sliced as thin as possible) – 1 tbsp vegetable oil – Cooking spray – Salt, to taste Instructions : Slice the potato. (Using a vegetable peeler will yield the thinnest/best results) Pour vegetable oil into a leak-proof plastic bag. Shake potato slices in bag to coat with oil. Coat a microwaveable plate with cooking spray. Place potato slices onto the plate in a single layer. (Make separate batches if necessary) Cook in the microwave on high for 3-5 minutes until potato slices are slightly browned. (If they don’t look light brown, keep cooking. Otherwise, they will not turn out crispy.) Take chips off the plate and toss with salt (or your chip seasoning of choice.) Let them cool for a deliciously simple snack!
volume volume 3 3 issue issue 2 2 \\ \\ november november -- december december -- january january \\ \\
41
\\\\\
the slash
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
Random \\ Idiots
YOU TUBE \\ Gems
WEB \\ Sites
Richard Iott Nominee for United States Representative for Ohio's 9th district was seen dressed as a SS Officer. Iott claims to have no Nazi sympathies, but he did compliment their military tactics. Anyone in politics, don't dress as an SS... even if you're spanking your wife with a horse crop.
Baraka Flocka Flame - What would happen if the leader of the free world was “hood rich”? This catchy tune attempts to enlighten us.
Websites of the Issue shitnoonehaseversaid.tumblr.com Because hindsight is 20/20.
Matthew Marshall Matthew Marshall stole pants from a Tennessee Walmart by wearing them out of the fitting room. The police apprehended him ducking the bill at a Longhorn Steakhouse with a date. He left his old pair of jeans in the dressing room with his wallet in them.
Pats on the \\ Back MAN OF THE ISSUE James Franco. Because only he, in his infinite reserve of energy (while enrolled in 6 different graduate programs across the country) can pull off the film 127 Hours, directed by Trainspotting great Danny Boyle. The film chronicles Aron Ralston’s harrowing experience of being pinned while rock climbing and forced to cut off his own arm with a Swiss Army knife. Aside from the incredible amounts of writing and acting, he is also curating an art show/multimedia display. If you ever think you’re pressed for time or have too much to worry about, just think, W.W.J.F.D. WOMAN OF THE ISSUE Lady Gaga. Sigh as you might, the woman has brought stage presence and excitement back to pop music in a time where there is more bullshit to cut through than ever (I’m staring at you Kidz Bop-for-adults GLEE). Also rallying for a repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell? Pissing off and courting just about anyone who matters in the world? Making good music? Artful videos? Questionable wardrobe? Ladies and gents, it's about damn time there’s something this good for the masses. 42
Zach Galifianakis Smokes Weed on Live TV (Bill Maher’s Real Time) - Yet another reason to adore him - and he’s willing to share! If you didn't see this live, you missed out... he literally lit one up live on HBO. They claim it was a prop, but we know what's up. Sanity Song - Auto-tune the News takes on Jon Stewart’s dynamite speech from the epic Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear on October 30, 2010. Tequila Stuntman Shot - There are quite a few of these, further proving that there is no shortage of idiotic imbibers in the world. Craig Venter Unveils “Synthetic Life” - And will subsequently blow your mind. Pizza Delivery Fail - Guy “successfully” completes his pizza delivery. Ick. Iguana Fart - For the 2nd grader in all of us. The YES Dance - Let’s do the fork in the garbage disposal! SHOES (the full version) - Liam Sullivan is an evil comedic genius. (see also, Muffins) Parking Fail - After watching this video, you will never be frustrated waiting for some moron to park again. No one can really be this bad!
\\\\ november november- -december december- -january january \\\\ volume volume33issue issue2 2
www.comedycentral.com/tosh.0 This man is the only person capable of integrating social media into television. Not Rick Sanchez (even before he was fired, his show was clumsy), not MTV, not anyone. Daniel Tosh is this generation’s mirror, armed with a morbid sense of humor, showing us the darker sides of ourselves through what we’ve filmed and why we’re watching it. Questionablecontent.net Jeph Jacques’ webcomic about hipster issues, that’s still well written and more importantly, a portal to the greatest webcomics online (check the links on the right hand side of the page.) Soundcloud.com -Amazing, free music distribution site. (recommendation, search Trent Reznor’s tracks from The Social Network.) This is your brain on video Khalid Askri goalkeeper. The world’s worst goalkeeper. Just ignore this if you’re American, because we stopped caring about soccer a few months back. Everyone still here? Good. He played for a Moroccan team earlier this year, but you really have to feel for the guy. It’s entirely his fault he sucks. Emo Phillips standup. Because the only person better at a twist ending to anything was O’Henry (M. Night Shamalan fans can bite me.) Jon Stewart “terror mosque” fox news. It takes a comedian to uncover disturbing bias and bullshit. I love this country. Great piece of actual journalism from a ‘fake” journalist/comedian.
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
poliâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;sci
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
* *offer valid only with this coupon
www.consulateisrael.com | 305.925.9400
volume 3 issue 2 \\ november - december - january \\
9
back\slash is Currently Accepting Applications for Spring Semester Internships Now is the time to get your resume stacked.
Work at your own pace from our Miami office, or remotely where-ever you want.
To Apply Send Your Resume to hr@backslashonline.com
The Joints
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
local Orlando hot spots
bob marley's in universal studios 1000 Universal Studios Plaza, O r l a n d o , FL (407) 224-3663 I can’t say enough about this spot. Located in Universal Studios, Bob Marley’s can easily be mistaken for a tourist trap. But don’t let this deter you – it isn’t. Everyone is welcome and I strongly encourage you to check it out. Particularly if you love Reggae as much as I do because it is always jamming. When you walk in, you will understand why Mr. Marley’s club can be called one of the best spots in Orlando. Live Reggae is their specialty and the drink specials are reasonable. The dance floor has an open setting surrounded by tables and chairs. With no roof, this joint has a true Caribbean feel. It’s easy to think you are on vacation in Jamaica until you exit the club and face reality. Yah Mon!
Orlando Tattoo Company
Best Tattoo Parlor in Orlando
Orlando Tattoo Company is guaranteed to provide you with an unbelievable experience. This tattoo parlor is all about the craft of body art. It is owned and operated by artists who are genuinely good guys that truly care about what they are putting on your body. The owner received his degree in Fine Arts from UCF. The great guys at Orlando Tattoo Company provide excellent customer service and an extremely clean environment. They will transform your body into the piece of art that you want it to be, all the while making you feel completely comfortable and satisfied with your experience. Come check it out and ask for Juan “Johnny” Lopez - he is sure to hook you up.
Tanqueray’s Bar 1 0 0 S . O r a n g e Av e . Orlando, fl (407) 649-8540. Tanqueray’s is a downtown staple where anything is possible and the vibe is always just right no matter what day one goes there. This joint is literally underground and will remind you of a New Orleans blues bar. Live music is the cornerstone of this bar and trust me, there is good reason that this place has recently become more popular. After all, where can you go where you get free entrance and can drink for as low as two dollars? 46
best BB Q in
Keller ’s
BBQ
orland o
\\ november - december - january \\ volume 3 issue 2
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
the joints
\\\\\\
Ice bar Upscale Barber Shop
Best
Place to get a Fade Upscale has flat screen tv’s, a bar free beer, quality cuts, good price, high quali ty barbers, great service, down to earth guys.
t of a Plane
Best Place to Jump Ou er ket Skydive Space Centthri ds, and a check off your buc ll, the refreshing 120 mph win
diving. It’s the of the most You know you want to go sky in Titusville, Fla. With one nce is Skydive Space Center erie exp this beautiful for the of go to e view list. The best plac 000 feet and an aerial hest jump in the world at 18, hig the , ntry cou the in s experienced team go anywhere else? in first-time space coast, why would you the professionals specialize Taj Mahal of facilities, and the as wn kno is bring the ter you if Cen 5 ce $16 Skydive Spa 75 for students, experience it for yourself ($1 and st coa the to out Get tandem jumpers. ine)! skydive ad from this magaz
8 9 6 7 I n t e r n at i o n a l D r . O r l a n d o , FL 3 2 8 1 9 (407) 426-7555 Nobody is too cool for the room in IceBar’s 27-degree lounge composed of solid ice. This place is unreal!!! Everything (and I mean everything) is made of ICE, from the shot glasses to the chairs. It has never been so much fun to feel as if you are in Antarctica. Shoot, this place is so unique; you will quickly forget you are in an ice house. This is certainly Orlando’s hidden gem. Bundle up with some sexy friends and get ready for a night you will never forget. However, be prepared to shell out some cold hard cash and a lot of it because the drinks are not cheap.
Sky 60 6 0 No r t h O r a n g e av e . O r l a n d o , FL 3 2 8 0 1 (407) 425-7588
kup o o ah h k o ho bestookah Lit H
m euof Art s Muuseum t berslando M O
Expect house, hip-hop and Top 40 from the DJ as you sit at this sleek, white rooftop bar and take in the cityscape. If you are tired of the same old clubs, you should go to a place like Sky 60. This joint is specifically suited for the ballers of this world. It’s a place where you can easily sport that Armani suit you usually only wear once a year. This club will make you feel as if you are going to an exclusive event. You are guaranteed to love it!
volume 3 issue 2 \\ november - december - january \\
47
\\\\\\\
the joints
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
Local happy hour guide
G at o r ’ s Dockside
12448 Lake Underhill Road Orlando, FL 32828 (407) 645-2050 All you can eat wings from 6 11pm $ 2 pints of bud, bud light, bud select, and rolling rock $ 5.99 pitchers of bud, bud light, bud select, and roling rock $ 2.15 for coors, coors light, yuengling $ 6.75 pitchers of coors, coors light and yuengling $ 2.25 single liquor wells $ 3.25 double liquor wells $ 3.25 singles of smirnoff and captain $ 5 doubles of smirnoff and captain
Scoop Or l a n d o
11726 E Colonial Dr Orlando, Fl 32817 (407) 249-2526 Free drinks until 12 48
Firkin & Kegler
12850 Waterford lakes Parkway Orlando, FL 32828 (407) 373-7444 $2 domestic pints from 7 to close
Independent Bar 70 N. Orange Ave. (407) 839-0457 $ 1 pbrs and well drinks
Fiddler’s
544 West Fairbanks Ave Winter Park, FL 32789 (407) 645-2050 5 pm - 7 pm $ 1 off draft beers and domestic bottles
Scoop Or l a n d o
11726 E Colonial Dr Orlando, Fl 32817 (407) 249-2526 No cover $ 2 off everything
Independent Bar 70 N. Orange Ave. Orlando, FL (407) 839-0457 $ 2 you call its till 12
Firkin & Kegler
12850 Waterford lakes Parkway Orlando, FL 32828 (407) 373-7444 Ladies Night Free wells, domestic drafts, and house wines 10 - 1 $ 2.75 Corona, and Corona light bottles
Roxy
740 Bennet Road Orlando, FL 32803 (407) 898-4004 Latin Night Ladies drink free until 11:30, get in free until 11
Chillers
33 W Church St Orlando, FL 32801 (407) 649-4270 Nickel Beer Happy Hour 5:00pm - 7:30pm: 2 Refillable Mugs $.75 Dom. Longnecks $6 Pitchers 2 for 1 Drinks/Imports No Cover - 21 & Up until 9 pm
Dr a g o n R o o m 25 W Church St Orlando, FL 32801 (407) 843-8600 Latin Night Everyone drinks free until 12 $ 2 tequila shots
\\ november - december - january \\ volume 3 issue 2
t
Thursday
544 West Fairbanks Ave Winter Park, FL 32789 (407) 645-2050 5 pm - 7 pm $ 1 off draft beers and domestic bottles
Roxy
740 Bennet Road Orlando, FL 32803 (407) 898-4004 LADIES IN FREE UNTIL MIDNIGHT EVEN UNDER 21! $ 1 Menu all night PBR cans, vodka/cran, sex on the beach, whiskey/coke, tequila sunrise, rum/coke
Wednesday
Fiddler’s
t
Tuesday
monday Roxy
740 Bennet Road Orlando, FL 32803 (407) 898-4004 MMA Night $ 2 Bud Light and Michelob Ultras $ 3 Sake Bombs All Night
: orlando
Firkin & Kegler
12850 Waterford lakes Parkway Orlando, FL 32828 (407) 373-7444 $ 7.77 Coors Light Pitchers $ 6 Bud light pitchers
Independent Bar 70 N. Orange Ave. Orlando, FL (407) 839-0457 $ 2 yuengling till 12 free pbr beer until keg floats
Dr a g o n R o o m 25 W Church St Orlando, FL 32801 (407) 843-8600 $ 3 cocktails all night long
Cowboys Or l a n d o
1108 S. Orange Blossom Trail Orlando, FL 32805 (407) 422-7115 Ladies Night Ladies drink free until 11 pm Free admission for ladies
Antigua
46 W. Church St., Orlando Orlando FL. 32801 (407) 649-4270 Free drinks until midnight Free long islands for guys until midnight $ 3 heinekens
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
the joints
\\\\\
11726 E Colonial Dr Orlando, Fl 32817 (407) 249-2526 Happy hr 4 - 8:30 pm Free cover $ 2 margaritas $ 4 pitchers Starting at 9 pm, free drinks until 12
Chillers
33 W Church St Orlando, FL 32801 (407) 649-4270 2-4-1 from 8 to 11 pm
Roxy
740 Bennet Road Orlando, FL 32803 (407) 898-4004 Reggaeton Night Everyone drinks free until 12 Ladies no cover until 12
Chillers
Scoop Or l a n d o
33 W Church St Orlando, FL 32801 (407) 649-4270 3 for 1 till 11:00pm then its 2-4-1 till close $2.00 Bud and Bud Light for Everyone 21 & Up Welcome
Scoop Or l a n d o
740 Bennet Road Orlando, FL 32803 (407) 898-4004 Paparazzi Night Ladies drink free until midnight
11726 E Colonial Dr Orlando, Fl 32817 (407) 249-2526 Free cover before 11 pm $ 1 drafts, $ 2 drinks, $ 3 bombs
Fiddler’s
Cowboys Or l a n d o
544 West Fairbanks Ave Winter Park, FL 32789 (407) 645-2050 5 pm - 7 pm $ 1 off draft beers and domestic bottles
Dr a g o n R o o m
Roxy
740 Bennet Road Orlando, FL 32803 (407) 898-4004 Big Show Saturdays Everyone gets in FREE until 11 and drinks FREE till 11:30pm
1108 S. Orange Blossom Trail Orlando, FL 32805 (407) 422-7115 Free longnecks from 10 - 1pm $ 2 drinks for the ladies $ 3 drinks for the guys
25 W Church St Orlando, FL 32801 (407) 843-8600 Ladies Night Ladies drink free till midnight
11726 E Colonial Dr Orlando, Fl 32817 (407) 249-2526 Free Cover $ 2 off everything
F i n n h e n ry ' s
39 North Orange Ave Orlando, FL 32801 Football Specials $ 2.50 Miller Lite and Coors Light Pints Any kind of domestic bucket 5 for $ 15 $ 5 Car bombs all day
Fiddler’s
544 West Fairbanks Ave Winter Park, FL 32789 (407) 645-2050 5 pm - 7 pm $ 1 off draft beers and domestic bottles
everyday
Roxy
sunday
Scoop Or l a n d o
saturday
Friday
f s S E Knight L i br a ry
12289 University Blvd Orlando, FL 32817 (407) 482-2500 Sunday “Karaoke Night” $ 2 drinks, $ 1 drafts Monday Free drinks, $ 5 cover Tuesday $ 5 cover, $ 2 pitchers of miller and coors, and free wells from midnight to close Wednesday Free bottles from 9 to 12 am Thursday FREE WELLS, CALLS, AND DRAFTS TILL 12AM Friday Free Drinks until 12 am $ 2 you call its Saturday 2-4-1 all night everything
The Lodge
49 N. Orange Ave. Orlando, FL 32801 (407) 650-8786 Sunday $2 Cans of Beer
Fubar
12233 University Blvd Orlando, FL 32817 (407) 230-8093 4 - 9 pm 2-4-1 Everything
Prices and Specials Subject to Change without Notice; always call first. Information provided by the venues. Information should be valid from November to December. If you have a happy hour you'd like to list, or have corrections to what is already listed, email: happyhour@backslashonline.com
volume 3 issue 2 \\ november - december - january \\
49