FAMILY MATTERS MARCH 12-18, 2015 THE VOICE |27
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FAMILY MATTERS
MARCH 12-18, 2015
My lesson to you are words. Words are powerful for You can become them. I give you the verb to be I am, you are endless possibilities. You are treasure Treasure is valued always realise how worthy you are.
Tonderai Arts
A MOTHER’S LOVE
Words Olorun Toyin
PAGES 28-30
28| THE VOICE MARCH 12-18, 2015
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LESSONS FROM MOTHER
BY Yinka Sunmonu
Naija Bites presenter Esther Alade was 10 years old when her mother died. She was raised by her sisters who were in their twenties at the time. “My sisters taught me responsibility, hard work and making the best of situations. They would say your network influences you and playing with education is never an option if you want to get ahead. My sisters made me feel cared for and protected. They made me believe I could do anything if I worked for it. They were my mother figures and I honour them.” Sarah Salim, social care worker “A lot of time was spent in the kitchen learning to cook. My mum would get me to answer telephone calls and take notes. She taught me to be independent.” Toyin Ogundipe, knitwear designer The Purple Snood “My mum taught me to be creative and a thinker. She is open and cultivates openness. If there’s something I can’t solve, she’ll tell me to look for alternative solutions. She has a try and do attitude.” “See where it takes you, don’t ever get up”, she would say, “If you ever want to stop, fine, but do something else.” “The lessons I’ve learnt are openness, communication and self-belief. She has inspired me for the longest time.” Deacon Brighton Chitenga, Regeneration Centre My mother told me to do unto others what you want them to do to you. To be respectful, hardworking and to go through the negatives in life learning that you have to persevere to get what you want.
Rainbow in the Cloud: The Wit and Wisdom of Maya Angelou, by Dr Maya Angelou, published by Virago (2014) A collection of sayings, reflections and advice with sections on childhood & parenthood and self esteem by the celebrated author and poet Dr Maya Angelou, published posthumously.
It’s Mother’s Day on March 15th. We talk to people who share what their mothers/ mother figures taught them. Toyin:“My mother has inspired me for the longest time”
Thank you mum!
KEEP US TOGETHER
Mothering Sunday provides us with an opportunity to celebrate mothers and highlight the needs of black and mixed race siblings waiting for adoption. Brothers and sisters are among the groups waiting the longest to find a permanent home. We asked Jeanne Kaniuk, OBE, managing director of Coram Adoption and the British Association for Adoption & Fostering, (BAAF) two of the UK’s leading voluntary adoption agencies, to tell us why siblings should stay together.
J
eanne Kaniuk, OBE, says “It is helpful for children who are adopted to have someone with whom they share memories and also their background family history. Even though they may feel deeply loved and accepted as members of their adoptive family, it adds another dimension to have that sense of a shared history.” “Where siblings are attached and have a relationship it is really important to preserve that if at all possible - by placing them together or by placing them in different families who can promote the relationship and ensure they keep in touch.” “Adoption stories are all a complicated mixture of loss, change, hope and joy - sometimes being with your siblings is truly comforting and helps to ensure a good outcome. Adoption is always a long term set of relationships which unfold and
develop over a lifetime.” STABILITY BAAF comments: Nearly half (49%) of all children for whom families are being sought in the UK are part of a sibling group according to research carried out by the British Association for Adoption & Fostering. The research was conducted for 2014’s National Adoption Week, which focused on encouraging more people to come forward to adopt groups of brothers and sisters. Sibling groups are amongst the children who wait longest to be adopted as there are not enough people coming forward who are able to give them a safe, permanent and loving family. Children who need to be adopted have usually had a hard start in life and it is even more important for them to experience the stability and support that being with
their brothers and sisters can bring. Without enough potential adopters who are able to give these children a home together, brothers and sisters will wait longer for a family or may even have to be split up. If you are thinking about adoption, find out more through your local authority, Coram Adoption (www.coram.org.uk) or BAAF (www.baaf.org.uk)
“She brings so much joy to my life, so much happiness.” Susan, Coram adoptive mum Our mums come from different walks of life, but they have one thing in common. They have all transformed the lives of children who had an uncertain future. As one of the UK’s most successful adoption charities, we’ve been working with parents like you for over 30 years.
Start your adoption journey today Call 020 7520 0383 for an information pack or email adoption@coram.org.uk
Watch Susan’s story coram.org.uk/susan SIBLINGS: Have shared histories
Registered Charity No. 312278
MARCH 12-18, 2015 THE VOICE |29
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FAMILY MATTERS
GETTING CRAFTY
Nothing pleases a mother, grandmother or mother figure more than a gift from the heart that taps into a child’s creativity and becomes a keepsake writes Yinka Sunmonu.
Handy art Finger or hand painting on canvas is a great way for toddlers to have fun. Mums and grandmothers will adore this keepsake that will look spectacular if framed. Canvas bag Paint messages on a canvas bag. Embellish with glitter, beads or buttons. Flower pot cakes Bake a cake in an unglazed terracotta flower pot that is washed before use. Get children to help weigh out a recipe or buy a packet mix. Decorate with glace icing. Scrapbook Fill a notebook or traditional scrapbook with photos, paintings, drawings and memorabilia. Paint can also be used to draw frames.
Designer mugs Buy a plain mug and ceramic paint or pens. Wash and wipe mugs. Let children decorate. Handprinted mugs make good keepsakes and children can have fun painting their fingers or sections of their hand in different colours. On painting, leave to dry for 24 hours. To make dishwasher safe, place in a cold oven, turn temperature to 150C, 350F, Gas Mark 2. Leave for 30-35 minutes. Fill mugs with edible goodies or something practical such as a silk scarf. Mug of flowers Fill pretty mugs with carnations – the traditional Mother’s Day flowers (stems cut short) or paint the mugs (see above) before adding the bouquet.
MOTHER’S DAY PLAYLIST
From gospel to rap, highlife and reggae, Tasha King selects songs honouring mothers.
Mama’s Kitchen – CeCe Winans Reminiscing in Mama’s Kitchen on Saturdays filled with cooking, words of wisdom and simple living. Mama – Brenda Fassi Praise song for a mother always in daughter’s heart. Mama Knew Love Anthony Hamilton Appreciating mother’s love for child. Look What You’ve one – Drake Honouring mother who empowered. Mother – Ashanti Praise song to mother and the lessons taught and learnt. Only One - Kanye West featuring Paul McCartney Rapper and songwriter Kanye West’s tribute to late mother Donda and his daughter, which is also about history, impact and memory.
Every Day is Like Mother’s Day – Shirley Caesar Praising mothers with a strong message that includes staying in touch. Thank You Mama – Sizzla Appreciation and thanks to mothers everywhere. Sweet Mother – Prince Nico Mbarga Highlife classic for mothers who can never be forgotten. A Song for Mama – Boys ll Men Classic from Boys ll to Men where loving mother is described like food to the soul.
DO YOU NEED DONOR EGGS? Barbados Fertility Centre offers an EXCELLENT donor egg programme for African Caribbean couples. With a waiting list no longer than 3 months, and high success rates of 72% in 2014 many UK couples are heading to the Caribbean island of Barbados for successful IVF treatment. If you have tried to conceive for more than 12 months with no success, then you must seek medical advice on your treatment options. Please contact our dedicated team for your free consultation on 001 246 435 7467 to make your dream of a family come true. Due to Barbadian immigration law, patients must hold a valid UK passport to enter the country for treatment.
dholmes@barbadosivf.com www.barbadosfertility.com
Organization Accredited by Joint Commission International
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ADOPTION IS A LIFE-CHANGING DECISION
G
Elsi
*names have been changed
Izzy
rowing up with brothers and sisters as part of family life is the norm for many of us. We can all look back and remember the fun times, the arguments! But together, with our parents, we had that inevitable sense of belonging.
Sade
Elsi: is starting to crawl and is showing a
real interest in anything shiny.
Izzy: is more cautious and shy and likes to stay close to her foster carer.
Sade: is rolling over and is fascinated
by her toys. She is showing signs of some development delay and this is being closely monitored by medical professionals. All the girls enjoy cuddles and being sung to whether individually or together, and each girl is making progress each day. We will provide more detailed information to the right family.
Not everyone has that experience, and with this in mind, we’d like you to meet Elsi, Sade and Izzy – three adorable sisters who need new adoptive parents. At 10 months old, the girls already have a bond they will always share and a sense of belonging to each other. To enable them to have a strong foundation growing up and a happy and healthy childhood, we have begun the search for a family to adopt them. They say ‘it takes a village to raise a child’, for these girls, this is certainly true. As well as being new parents to triplets, you’ll very definitely need support from family and friends to help you – whether babysitting, the occasional school run or just a supportive chat on the phone. The support we can give is realistic, enhanced and long term to ensure you can give the girls what they need whilst settling into your home and whilst they are growing up. Finance is available for cots and car seats plus regular monthly payments to support a stay-at-home parent. Our adoption support social workers are experienced and offer training sessions, advice and one to one support. As parents you will experience the rewards of raising three lovely little girls, you’ll be their advocate to ensure they get all the best opportunities in life.
You’ll also need to be organised, disciplined and open-minded, so the girls benefit from a routine and an understanding they can trust and feel secure in your care. There will be times that are challenging and uncertainty around the girls’ development, but we will support you with this through professionals and help, advice and guidance from other adopters with similar experiences. Their Nigerian heritage is important and we’d like a family who can promote their culture. Michael is the social worker tasked with finding the right family for the girls, he says: “There’s no doubt taking on three children, the same age and at the same time, will need a lot of thought, but I’d like to hear from families – couples or single people (with relatives and friends living nearby able to offer active support) from all walks of life and from all ethnic groups. We’ll help and support you all the way. There is a lot more information that we can share with the right family, and I can give you information about the six-month adoption process. I appeal to anyone who really wants to make a difference to these girls and change their lives forever, so please give me a call.”
If you, your family and friends, your community really want to help these girls, please call 0800 073 3344 and ask for Michael. You can leave a message, email us: adoption@islington.gov.uk or text your name and email address to 07786 202195 and we’ll contact you.
The best things in life come in threes! Elsi, Sade and Izzy are gorgeous triplets who are happy, bubbly and affectionate little girls. At 10 months old, each baby has her own personality and watching them play and ‘talk’ to each other is a pleasure. To ensure the girls receive the best care and opportunities in life, they will need to be raised by adoptive parents.
Could you be the girls’ new family? Elsi, Sade and Izzy will need truly dedicated parents who are energetic and unflappable to provide a nurturing home filled with the love and support they need. You’ll need to promote their culture and help them make sense of their early life experiences.
We’ll help you all the way Being an adoptive parent is fun and rewarding, but it will also have its challenges. You will need family and friends to help you and we’ll provide excellent support and guidance, and with a substantial financial package throughout the girls’ childhood to assist with equipment, like home appliences, domestic help and a settling in allowance.
About You You can be single or a couple, with or without your own children. You can own or rent your home, as long as you have stability and there is room for the children to grow.
Experience of life Your experiences in life could be valuable to the girls as they grow up. You can pass on your family traditions and give the girls a rich foundation to which they can build on.
For more information, please contact the team. 0800 073 3344 adoption@islington.gov.uk or text your email address to 07786202195 www.islington.gov.uk/adoption