Family Matters April 2013

FAMILY MATTERS APRIL 4 - 10, 2013

Yinka Sunmonu Consultant | Email: ys@cherishcommunications.com | Design Thierry Lagrin

SUPPLEMENT › page 21, 22, 27, 28.

SAMAR

› REACHING

OUT: Southwark Speaks Yoruba p22 › SEARCHING FOR MUM: Model Samar Is On A Mission p27 › AT LAST: Dream Of Family Comes True Via Adoption p28

PICTURE CREDIT: Segun Olotu

INSIDE

APPAREL: Adebayo Jones Luxury - Hat - Lyze Hats - MakeUp - FaceQuizite

Beautifully hidden

Family Matters

22 | THE VOICE APRIL 4 - 10, 2013

Fitness fun

Pic credit: Segun Olotu

One in three primary schoolchildren is obese or overweight according to findings from the national child measurement programme.

We suggest ways to keep your children active.

WALKING: fitness in style posed by models

C

1. Take interesting walks 2. Skip 3. Ride a bike or scooter 4. Dance – try out some of the latest crazes 5. Dig the garden or the allotment (volunteer if you have to).

6. Play football or volleyball in the garden (a washing Voice adoption ad.qxd:Layout 1 5/3/13 15:02 line makes a great net)Page 1 Keep your children active 7. Participate in a Tug O’war 8. Run (get your children to with these suggestions: hildren living in urban areas were more likely to be obese compared to those in towns, the suburbs and rural areas and black or black British children were most likely to be obese both in the Reception Year and Year 6. (NCMP).

run down a particular street when you’re going out until they can do it without stop ping. Really builds up stamina) 9. Create a makeshift obstacle course in the garden 10. Lark in the park GIVE US OUR DAILY BREAD April is National Bread Week and we’ve found a recipe fit

for a queen. Enjoy with some of our most delectable breads and flatbreads: Agege; bammy, coco, harddough, injera or roti.

Duck and Honey Sauce Serves 4 person(s) Ingredients: 4 duck breasts 2 diced shallots Juice ½ lemon 1 cup chicken or duck stock 2 Redbush Tea bags 2 tablespoons honey 1 rounded tablespoon chilled butter Salt & pepper to taste 1 orange segmented Orange zest Method: 1. Preheat the oven to 200°C/400°F/Gas Mark 6 2. Place a heavy frying pan over a high heat until extremely hot.

3. Prick the skin of the duck breasts all over with a fork.

4. Lay skin side down on the surface of the hot frying pan (you do not need any oil). Leave

for about 3-4 minutes until the skin is nicely browned. Turn over and sear on the other side for about 1 minute. Take the pan off the heat, and transfer the duck breasts to a rack set over a roasting tin or ovenproof dish.

Season with salt & pepper.

Roast in the oven for 10-15 minutes depending on how well done you like your duck.

5. Once they are done, leave to rest in a warm place (e.g. in the oven, turned off and with the door ajar) for 5-10 minutes before slicing.

6. Meanwhile return the pan to a moderate heat, with the duck fat still in it. Add the shallots, fry gently until tender, then drain off and discard the excess fat.

7. Add the lemon juice, orange juice and stock to the pan. Raise the heat again and bring up to the boil. Boil hard until the liquid has reduced by two thirds.

Add the Redbush tea bags and reduce the heat down as low as it will go. Leave for a further

2-3 minutes, then remove the bags. Stir in the honey and season with salt & pepper.

Whisk the butter in, in small knobs, then strain the sauce to remove any stray tea leaves and the shallots. Taste and adjust the seasoning if required.

8. To serve, slice each duck breast and fan out on plates.

Spoon some of the sauce around each one. Add a few orange segments and scatter with orange zest. Serve immediately with your choice of fresh seasonal vegetables.

(Courtesy of The Redbush Tea Company)

ADOPTION IN SOUTHWARK “Attending one of the Southwark information meetings made us realise we were ready to complete our family” Maria and Jack, from Peckham

Adopt in Southwark

If you are considering adoption, why not contact Southwark Council? You’ll benefit from outstanding support and dedicated social workers who will help you as you take your first steps towards completing your family. Your age, ethnicity, marital status or sexuality are not important, but being patient, caring and committed is.

Join our upcoming information meetings at Canada Water Library on Thursday 9 May and Thursday 18 July from 6.30pm to find our more information about adopting.

For more information visit www.southwark.gov.uk/adoption www.southwark.gov.uk/adoption

Oju Lon Roju Sanu (Help comes from those who have perceived hardship - traditional Nigerian proverb) Peckham is known as Little Lagos and Southwark is seeking to recruit Yoruba adopters writes Taofiq Disu.

Opolopo awon omo Nigeria lowa ni adugbo Southwark Council to nfe amojuto lati owo awon elomira ti ki nse obi won.

Ebi ki si nse ti awon omo wonyi.

Nigba miran iya awon omo won yi ko ni okun tabi aye, nitori ise tabi awon nkan idiwo imiran lati moju to awon omo wonyi, ko si si ebi tabi ara nito si to le se iranlowo.

Gege bi eto, Alamojuto awon omo bayi gbodo je eni to mo nipa asa ibile omo ti

won fe gba to yi, ki won ba le ma to ni ona asa ibile omo na, Bi o ba ni aye ati ife lati gba iru awon omo bawonyi so do fun itoju gege bi omo tire, tabi o mo eni ti o ni iru aye yi ati idunnu lati gba iru awon omo ba yi, e fi ipolongo yi to wan leti.

Council Southwark ma nse ipade ni igba gbogbo ni ibiti e le lo lati gbo ekun rere eto yi ati atilehin ti won ma fun awon ti o ba fe se Alamojuto awon omo bawon yi.

Translation: There are Nigerian children in Southwark who need to be adopted, often through no fault of their own.

Sometimes, the mother cannot cope and there is no family around.

Ideally, they need a family

who can share their culture.

If you can offer a child a permanent home or you know somebody who could, please pass this message along.

Southwark Council holds regular meetings where you can find out more and adopters will receive support.

SOUTHWARK ADOPTION FACTS The majority of children waiting for adoption are of black African, Nigerian or Sierra Leonean heritage.

In 2011, Ofsted rated Southwark’s Adoption Service as ‘good’.

Details: www.southwark.gov.uk/ info/160/adoption Telephone: 0800 952 0707

Family Matters

APRIL 4 - 10, 2013 THE VOICE | 27

Beautifully hidden Samar’s secret

A model’s search for her mother “Being

reunited with my mother felt strange

SAMAR KHOURY: holding Florajini bouquet of luck and love

OUTCASTS “It was as if our Lebanese relatives treated us differently to the rest of the family – as if we were the outcasts. I always felt

pressure to prove that we were good enough.”

Though she excelled in school, she craved to be back with her parents and returned four years later.

“Being reunited with my mother felt strange”, she said.

“I had matured a bit by then. I didn’t want to put up with all the fuss that comes from being away so long. I do feel guilty about that now.”

EMOTIONS The Congo family reunion did not last long as conflict broke out again. This time, Samar and her siblings went to live in London with their father. It was the last time that she was to see her mother.

Life in a different country was strange. “I was placed in year 9, had to get my English up to standard and prepare for my GCSEs. It was as if I was starting all over again.”

Despite this, she achieved A’s in her exams and went on to do A levels, winning a place at King’s College London to study biochemistry.

Still, the thoughts of her mother remained at the back of her mind, causing mixed emotions.

It came to the fore when she was preparing for her final exams.

“I think they were the darkest days of my life”, she said.

“I remember that I had one

MOTHER: Marguerite Kowoko Ramazani

more exam that day and for some reason, I just didn’t think I could do it. I had so much pain that included a failed relationship and something felt incomplete.”

Underlying that was the fact that she felt she had struggled with English and that it was not as strong as her Arabic or French. As someone who had always excelled and felt pride in her educational achievements, she felt that she was not reaching her potential.

While sitting in the library, late at night, a security guard approached her and said, “What is a beautiful girl like you doing in the library at this this time?”

It was the wake up call that she needed as the conversation distracted her from sullen thoughts and she conversed with him.

PROFILE “Ah, you know, I’m just doing this job for money” he told her showing a picture of a house he was building in Africa. “I’m chasing my dream.”

That evening became a time of reflection and focus. Samar passed her exams and after a number of temporary jobs, found her way into modelling.

“It was by chance”, she says.

“In October 2009, an old friend rang me from Beirut and we started communicating via Facebook. I uploaded photos

Photographer: Christophe Knausz

S

amar Khoury is a an international model known for her beauty, intellect and good nature, yet behind the smiles, something weighs her down.

The clue is in the ring that she wears belonging to her mother Marguerite Kowoko Ramazani.

“I haven’t seen her since my early teens”, she says, “ we got parted and my siblings and I have no idea where she is. I keep her rings on my fingers and every time I look at them, I smile or cry depending on how the mood catches me. But regardless, I remember one thing – hope.”

Born in the Lubumbashi in the Democratic Republic of Congo, to a Lebanese businessman and a Congolese mother, Samar’s life consisted of love and warmth.

That idyllic life ended with the first conflict in Congo when her father sent his children to Beirut to stay with their paternal grandparents where they attended Saints cœurs - Ain Najm, a school run by nuns..

Despite being moved to safety, she never felt accepted.

APPAREL: Ade Bakare couture Jewellry: M. Butterfly

Tobi Shonibare

”

MODEL SAMAR KHOURY: Wistful thinking

there and the next thing, I was getting calls from modelling agencies.”

At first, it was a way to get extra money but as her profile increased, it became a quest to find her mother.

Beauty and brains meet with Samar, yet the search and questions about her mother continue, though much of the pain and secrecy behind her disappearance has been replaced by a steely resolve to find her.

Yet questions remain. Did her mother leave because she felt her children had become too Lebanese and thought her too African? Did she become disinterested in her children or did something happen to prevent contact?

CLOSENESS There is good news. Her sister has tracked down luggage that used to belong to their mother that has photographs, kitchen equipment and additional items in it. It feels Samar

with excitement and she feels there will be a sense of closeness with her mother when it arrives.

“They will go straight to my house and maybe I’ll transform myself again”, she says referring to a particular picture where her mother, perhaps the same age as Samar is now, had cropped hair.

“When I saw that picture of my Mum, I thought I’d cut my hair, just like her. If she could look good like that, so could I.” Samar’s life has changed since graduation. The selfimposed notion of competing with her Lebanese relatives has gone. Her once upon time ambition to practice in the medical field, has been replaced by volunteering for charities inbetween modelling stints.

London is home and it has helped her see who she is.

“In Congo, they would see me as white, in Beirut, I became black but here, I’m me.

Nobody judges me.”

Designers love her. Audi-

ences love her. She is in demand in her chosen profession and she brings joy through her infectious nature and generosity.

GETTING TO KNOW SAMAR Also known as 2 Face Gemini because the number 2 represents her mixed parentage; face refers to her versatility/look and her star sign is Gemini.

• Speaks three languages • Likes Pondu (a Congolese vegetarian dish made with cassava leaves) • First modelling job was for Italian design house Yes London • Favourite book is ‘Les Oiseaux qui se cachent pour mourir’ • Her favourite colour is green • She returned to the Congo last year to model at the first Congo Fashion Week • She is still a bit of a science buff and remembers some biochemistry

Family Matters

28 | THE VOICE APRIL 4 - 10, 2013

Real lives Welcome

Real lives is a column about children, those embarking on their parenting journey through adoption and the people who bring them together.

My family Cora and her partner adopted their son 15 years ago. This is Cora’s story.

My partner and I had wanted to become

parents for a long time.

We tried to have a child naturally but it didn’t happen. Even though I’d had a few miscarriages, we, I, didn’t want to give up on having a family.

While living in Scotland, a friend suggested adoption.

We enquired through the local authority, only to be told that we were too old!

I now know that age isn’t a restriction, but at that time things were different.

We were devastated.

Months later, we moved down to London and again, somebody asked why we didn’t adopt. I remembered the rejection

the first time around and didn’t want to go through it again but the desire to become a mum was so strong. We applied again. It was a tense time.

We learnt that different local authorities wanted different things from the adoptive parents they needed and that we were also free to try other adoption agencies if we wanted. Fortunately, at 42 years old, this agency wanted us.

The thing I remember most about the whole process was trying to cope with the uncertainty of it. We didn’t know when we ‘d be matched with a child or whether we’d get a girl or a boy.

But, we had a great social worker and once we were approved, I knew we would be matched one day. In my excitement, I would call the adoption team once a week! When the call came, our social worker said, “We have a child that we’d like you to consider. He is 11 months old.”

I felt nervous excitement, as this was the moment we’d waited so long for.

Finally, someone was telling me that I was going to become a mum.

Our social worker visited us with our potential son’s social worker and told us about his birth family and his life so far.

I sat there waiting for the ‘but’ and they said his mother was a paranoid schizophrenic. We were quiet at first and then started asking questions.

On learning he was healthy, we said yes.

He is 15 now and parenting is amazing even though it has its challenges – as does all parenting. The support has been great and our families embraced our son from the beginning.

I would have been miserable forever if I hadn’t become a parent, as it is something I’d always wanted.

Cora’s Advice • Find out everything you can about adoption, read books, ask people, use the Internet.

• Persevere • Use the post adoption support services available to you.

FACTS You need to be over 21 years of age to adopt a child in the UK Islington need families for black and dual heritage children and those in sibling groups

Find out more, visit www.islington.gov.uk/adoption or call us 0800 073 3344

*Posed by a model

Adoption is amazing … it’s changed my life!

We want to change the lives of the children waiting for new adoptive families. Give them a new start so they have the chance of a positive childhood.

We need single people, couples – with or without your own children- to adopt the babies, toddlers and schoolage children who will benefit from a new family life.

Join us at Islington’s next information evening, you’ll find out about the children waiting, the adoption process and the financial allowances and support available – if you need it. The sessions are informal and packed with information about being a parent through adoption.

Join us on Wednesday 15 May 2013 Islington Town Hall, Upper Street, London, N1 2UD 6.30pm – 8pm