Community Links#206 - Lag B'omer by The Jewish Link

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May 4-May 18, 2012

Vol. 9 Issue 206

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FEATURES

May 4 , 2012

Next Advertising Deadline May 11, 2012 Circulation May 18, 2012 Media Kit & Pricing 323.965.1544 Email info@communitylinks.info News & Press Releases press@communitylinks.info Virtual Subscription

Gaining Respect

Our children learn from our behavior, not from our lectures, from the way we are, not from what we say.

subscribe@communitylinks.info

Rabbi Dr. Jerry Lob

Spiritual Vs. Holy

Not everything spiritual is necessary holy, and not everything holy need be spiritual. Rabbi Yossy Goldman

THE COMMUNITY LINKS is published biweekly and is distributed free to the Jewish Community of Southern California. THE COMMUNITY LINKS accepts no responsibility for typographical errors or reliability of Kashrus of any advertisers. All submissions become the property of THE COMMUNITY LINKS and may be shortened and/or edited for length and clarity. Articles published in THE COMMUNITY LINKS express the views of the individual writers and may not necessarily represent the views of THE COMMUNITY LINKS. No artwork or any part of the magazine may be reprinted or otherwise duplicated without the written permission of the publisher.

Living In The Future

If one indeed lives in the future, it’s not the future anymore, is it? And if the person of whom we’re speaking only thinks he’s living in the future, than he’s not really living there, is he?

Life Is a Picture Postcard

You might be surprised to learn that effective time management is not only a professional value but also a religious imperative. Rabbi Yossy Goldman

Rabbi Yanki Tauber

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Gaining Respect By Rabbi Dr. Jerry Lob

ne of my favorite teachers of all time, a rabbi, used to tell us, "If you want your children to study Torah, then you should study Torah; if you want them to give charity, let them see you giving charity." I am also reminded of a beautiful poem on the wall of my pediatrician's office when I was a little boy, entitled "Children Learn What They Live." The simple truth it expressed was very powerful -- our children learn from our behavior, not from our lectures, from the way we are, not from what we say. So, if you want your kids to respect you, respect your kids. Model respect to them, by showing respect to your spouse, to your neighbors, to people different from you and don't

forget to show self-respect as well. There are all kinds of ways to demonstrate respect to your children, in the little things and in the big ones. Show them that you care about their opinions, and that while you may not always agree with them, their ideas have value. Always respect their dignity, their need for space or privacy, and never belittle them, or laugh at them. I cannot over-emphasize the importance of respectful discipline. When your children push your buttons, when you feel like you're losing it, it is then, at that precise moment that you need to model a sense of calm. By maintaining your dignity, by not getting personal, by not hitting or name-calling, you communicate the incredibly important twin messages of

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love and respect. In effect, you are saying through your actions: "Even though I am angry at you and even if I am hurt, I will not hurt you. I love you." When you do something wrong, apologize, because this will build trust, and their respect for you will grow. Assertive parenting is not aggressive parenting, and if your children see how careful you are with their fragile souls, they will learn to be careful of others. Assertive parenting also means being firm and not being afraid to disagree, set limits and provide appropriate negative consequences such as time out, grounding, and so on. Your child doesn't have to agree with you, he/she just needs to feel loved and respected. The parental attitude discussed above begins with the birth of your child. It is the attitude that he/she is a separate entity, not an extension of the parent. It is not the child's job to gratify the needs of the parent, to be the fulfillment of a father's unfulfilled dreams or a mother's never realized wishes.

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Judaism views the ideal parent-child relationship as one of warmth and closeness as it is the primary vehicle for the transmission of our traditions, values and laws. The Talmud teaches us that this transmission, representing the continuity of our religion, is rooted in the joy and love of its practitioners. Yes, the Torah demands that the child respect his/her parents, but it is the wise parent who knows that forced respect is empty and that true respect grows from within, in an environment of love, approval, and joy. It is our job to help our children respect us, by being worthy of respect, by living lives that we are proud of and by connecting with our kids in a deep, loving, spiritual, joyful way. Dr. Lob is a clinical psychologist in private practice in Chicago, working with adults, adolescents, and families, for many years. He lectures and writes extensively on topics relating to psychology, relationships, parenting, education, and Jewish thought.

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ACHEREI -KEDOSHIM

n a Parshah where we read the golden rule of Love Thy Neighbor as Thyself and numerous other "social" mitzvot, I find it necessary to focus on another of our Parshah's commandments--one which in our own day seems to have been forgotten, much to our own detriment, I fear. Under the general command to "Be Holy" (Leviticus 19:1), the Torah instructs us not to engage in sorcery, superstition and other related activities which were practiced by the heathen nations of old. Elsewhere in Deuteronomy the Torah proscribes other practices such as consulting the dead. Jews are told to be "sincere and wholehearted with G-d," to follow the Torah way of life and, when in doubt, to consult the prophet or the recognized spiritual leaders and Torah authorities of the day. Sorcery, dabbling in the occult and "crossing over" are serious infractions to be strenuously avoided. A Jewish grandmother once took her grandson to a séance. After making her magic, the crystal ball lady claimed she had made contact with the woman's deceased husband, Chaim. Indeed, they heard a male voice saying how 18

By Rabbi Yossy Goldman

Spiritual vs. Holy

everything was well with him on the other side and he answered all their questions. Then, little Harry the grandson piped up and asked, "Zayde, may I ask you one more question please. When did you learn to speak English so well?" Whether you believe that those who practice spiritualism are indeed making contact or not, makes little difference from the Jewish perspective. Imaginary or real, the Torah forbids it. Even if it is real that doesn’t mean it isright. Not everything that can be done ought to be done. Most people seem to be confused by this. They become convinced that if it really is able to happen then this legitimizes it. Often, it is those who have been bereaved, especially under tragic circumstances, who are anxiously seeking answers and grasping for comfort through these unholy sources. Unholy, you ask? Yes. You see, there is a fundamental difference between spiritual and holy. Not everything spiritual is necessary holy, and not everything holy need be spiritual. May 4, 2012 • 323-965-1544 • info@communitylinks.info

Balaam was a heathen prophet (Numbers 22-24). He was able to communicate with G-d. But he was very unholy. He tried to put a curse on the Jewish people which would allow their enemies to destroy them completely. They had done him no harm. He was a greedy, lustful anti-Semite-far from a holy man. But he was very, very spiritual. Clearly, not everything spiritual is holy. Money is very, very physical. But if you use it for holy purposes like charity, it becomes holy. Clearly, not everything holy need be spiritual. It may be possible to "cross over." But, in the process, we may be getting ourselves involved with unholy forces. There are forces of darkness out there too. And if we are not dealing with Jewish prophets of old or bona fide holy mystics, we may, G-d forbid, get burned. And, who knows if our connections are not seen as interference. We may well be guilty of disturbing the dead, in which case we might actually be doing more harm than good. My brother-in-law, Rabbi Shabsi Alpern, is the Chabad shliach in Brazil. Many such practices occur in his community. He once asked the Lubavitcher Rebbe what to tell people about this. The Rebbe answered to tell them that every Jew has a direct connection to G-d and we do not require a medium to connect. In fact, why take the circuitous route if you can go direct? If we want to help the deceased, Judaism has many worthwhile suggestions. Kaddish, tzedakah, and any mitzvah in memory are all good deeds which have positive effects on the soul. Torah study, particularly Mishnah, is highly recommended. By all means should we all deepen our spirituality. Study the esoteric side of Torah with reliable, trustworthy teachers to gain an appreciation into Jewish Mysticism. But be wholesome with G-d. Don’t dabble in forbidden fields. Be holy--in the way our holy Torah tells us to be. By Rabbi Yossy Goldman. Senior Rabbi of the Sydenham Highlands North Shul since 1986, and president of the South African Rabbinical Association.

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Lag BaOmer

Living in the Future

By Rabbi Yanki Tauber

“Living in the future.” For those of us who collect oxymorons, this one is an especially delightful specimen. It’s not as obvious as your run-of-the-mill “deafening silence” oxy, but one that unravels only under careful sophistry. If you haven’t already figured it out, allow me the pleasure: If one indeed lives in the future, it’s not the future anymore, is it? And if the person of whom we’re speaking only thinks he’s living in the future, than he’s not really living there, is he? Jews all over the world will celebrate the life of a man who quite literally lived in the future. Lag BaOmer, the 33rd day of the Omer count, is the day of the passing of Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai, who lived in the second generation after the Temple’s destruction, about 1,900 years ago. Rabbi Shimon is the author of the Zohar (the most basic book of Kabbalah), Mechilta (a central midrashic work), and of hundreds of laws and teachings cited in the Talmud. He played a fundamental role in the history of the Torah’s transmission through the centuries, in both its “revealed” (i.e., talmudical-halachic) face as well as its esoteric (mysticalkabbalistic) soul. If there is one thing that characterizes Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai’s life, it is that he inhabited a reality that, for most of us, still lies in the future: the reality of Moshiach, the messianic world of redemption, harmony and perfection. It

is said of Rabbi Shimon that, for him, the Holy Temple was never destroyed, the people of Israel had never entered the state of galut (physical exile and spiritual alienation), and the world had attained the divine perfection of the Age of Moshiach. The Midrash tells a story: Once there was a disciple of Rabbi Shimon’s who left the Holy Land and returned a wealthy man. The other disciples saw this and were envious and also wanted to leave. Rabbi Shimon knew of this. He took them to a valley facing Meron and said: “Valley! Valley! Become filled with gold coins!” The valley started flowing with gold coins before them. Said Rabbi Shimon to his disciples: “If it is gold that you desire, here is gold; take it for yourselves. But know that whoever takes now is taking his portion of the World to Come. For the reward of Torah is only in the World to Come.” (Midrash Rabbah, Shemot 52:3) The Lubavitcher Rebbe explains the deeper significance of this story: The Torah is G‑d’s blueprint for creation, and the channel via which all of creation’s vitality and sustenance flows from Above. So everything in our world, from the loftiest spiritual blessings to the mundane wealth that comes in the form of May 4, 2012 • 323-965-1544 • info@communitylinks.info

gold coins, is facilitated by the Torah. But our world is an alma d’shikra, a place of concealment and deception. Things reach us but their source remains hidden; we see the result but have, at best, only a distorted perception of its cause. In our reality, it is possible that while Torah is the source of all the gold in the universe, one whose life is devoted to Torah may apparently suffer poverty, while one who abandons Torah may apparently acquire riches.

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That is our world. The future world of Moshiach, however, is a world of truth. A world in which the hand is visible within the glove, the cause is evident in the effect, and the source of everything is revealed without distortion. In the World to Come, it is plainly visible that even physical gold flows from the headwaters of Torah. Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai inhabited that future reality. His disciples, however, still lived in the present world.

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Rabbi Shimon’s disciples were disturbed when the reality they experienced was at odds with the truth as they knew it. It troubled them that a colleague who forsook the study of Torah became wealthy, while they, who pursued it day and night, suffered poverty—despite the fact that they knew that Torah is the conduit of all worldly blessings. So Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai granted them a glimpse of the World to Come. He showed them the world that he inhabited every moment of his life. And if they could not inhabit and access it themselves, at least they would behold it. By Rabbi Yanki Tauber

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Exodus in eager anticipation to receive the Torah, so do we count these 49 days annually.

Life is a Picture Postcard Parshas Emor

I was planning to procrastinate, but I never got around to it. Whether you consider the above quotation wise, witty or silly, it can actually be quite a sobering thought. How many of us can truly say we don't put off important things we know we should have done yesterday? Don't you just go green with envy when you meet those super-efficient amazons who are so punctual, organized and always put together? Don't they infuriate you…with yourself ? From my own experience I now know that if something is important I better attend to it immediately, otherwise I simply don't trust myself to "get around to it." I know I could benefit from a Time Management course. In fact, I once signed up for one but I never made it there. No time. There are still so many new ideas, projects and plans I'd like to get around to. I know that with better personal discipline they might actually materialize. You might be surprised to learn that effective time management is not only a professional value but also a religious imperative. This week's Parshah details the Jewish Festivals, in the context of which we read about the Counting of the Omer during the 49 days between Passover and Shavuot. Just as the Israelites counted the days after the 34

But why count time? Time marches on inexorably, whether we take note of it or not. What value is there in counting the days? The answer is that we count these 49 days to make us conscious of the preciousness of every single day. To make us more sensitive to the value of a day, an hour, a moment. As Rabbi Sholom DovBer of Lubavitch once said, "A summer's day and a winter's night is a year."

I heard a classic analogy on this theme in the name of the saintly Chofetz Chaim, Rabbi Israel Meir Kagan (1838-1933). Life is like a picture postcard, he said. Ever had the experience of being on vacation and sending a picture postcard home or to a friend? We start writing with a large scrawl and then think of new things to say and before we know it we're at the end of the card and there's no more room. So what do we do? We start writing smaller and then when we're out of space we start winding our words around the edges of the card to get it all in. Before we know it, we're turning the card upside down to squeeze in the last few vital words in our message. Sound familiar? Isn't life like that? We start off young and reckless without a worry in the world and as we get older we realize that life is short. So we start cramming and trying to squeeze in all those important things we never got around to. Sometimes our attempts are quite desperate, even pathetic, as we seek to put some meaning into our lives before it's too late. (Maybe that's what a mid-life crisis is all about.) So the Torah tells us to count our days – because they are, in fact, numbered. We each have an allotted number of days and years in which to fulfill the purpose for which we were created. Hopefully, by counting time we will appreciate it better. So, whatever it is that is important for each of us to get done, please G‑d, we will all get around to it. By Rabbi Yossy Goldman. Senior Rabbi of the Sydenham Highlands North Shul since 1986, president of the South African Rabbinical Association.

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Dr. Sidney Yadidi, DC Doctor of Chiropractic

Complimentary Initial Consultation

Neck pain, Headaches, Disc Herniations, Sport Injuries, Cold Laser Therapy, Back Pain, Auto Accidents, Sciatica, Spinal Decompression, Therapeutic Massages, Arthritis, Carpal Tunnel, Physiotherapy

Most PPO Insurances Accepted

Tel: 310.289.9770 292 So. La Cienega Blvd., Suite 101, Beverly Hills, CA 90211 Email: drsidyadidi@gmail.com

FREE 2-HOUR PARKING

General & Cosmetic Dentistry Crowns • Bridges • Implants • Veneers • Bleaching •Free Consultation for Lumineers

818-981-0394

16055 Ventura Blvd. Suite 1001 Encino, CA 91436-2621 Ask now for your complimentary

Digital Smile Makeover.

We’ll have it ready before you leave!

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LUMI SMILE BY LUMINEERS

NEXT ISSUE: May 18 Deadline: May 11

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May 4, 2012 • 323-965-1544 • info@communitylinks.info

Full Sofer Services on Site • Mezuzah & Tefillin Checking • Repair of Tefillin Batim • New & Used Torah Scrolls • Same Day Service Often Available • Fine Silver Judaica • House Calls by Appointment • New Mezuzos & Tefillin (Sefardi, Ashkenazi & Chabad)

FREE Mezuzah Checking* *Receive 1 free Mezuzah Checking with every 10 Mezuzah Checking

310 278 4428 1440 1/2 S. Robertson Blvd. www.MezuzahStore.com May 4, 2012 • 323-965-1544 • info@communitylinks.info

`téxÄ gÉä4 Send us your mazel tovs to info@communitylinks.info

Engagements Yechiel Levine & Shira Richards Ahron Feldman & Shira Shachter Uri Davidi & Rikki Kuessous Yaakov Ross and Devorah Berman Yosef Chaim Mayerfeld & Shani Kaplan Mordy Siegal & Ruchama Drebin

Baby Boy Yecheskel & Nechama Raeburn Shmueli & Michla Pinson

Baby Girl Dov & Racheli Muchnik Linda & Edgar Fox Uzi & Elisheva Moses Sponsored by

Blintz Soufflé Ingredients • 1/4 cup butter, melted • 12 frozen cheese blintzes • 6 eggs • 1 1/2 cup sour cream • 1/3 cup sugar • 2 teaspoons vanilla • 1/4 cup orange juice or 2 tablespoons orange juice concentrate • cinnamon

Directions

FRIDAY, MAY 4, 2012 Light Candles at: 7:22 pm ••• FRIDAY, MAY 11, 2012 Light Candles at: 7:27 pm ••• FRIDAY, MAY 18, 2012 Light Candles at: 7:33 pm

1. Preheat oven to 350° F (175° C). 2. Melt butter in a 9x13 inch pan. 3. Line blintzes in one layer in the pan. 4. In a bowl, beat eggs. Add sour cream, sugar, vanilla, and orange juice. 5. Pour egg mixture over the blintzes. 6. Sprinkle lightly with cinnamon. 7. Bake, uncovered, for 45 minutes, or until golden brown on top. 8. Top with Fresh Berries

May 4, 2012 • 323-965-1544 • info@communitylinks.info

1. A second tiger has been added 2. A napkin is missing from the table. 3. There is a window missing from the left corner. 4. A waiter is missing his tie. 5. The lady’s watch has been removed. 6. The tablecloth is longer. 7. There is an extra plate on the table. 8. A yarmulkah has changed colors. 9. The windows are missing its beams. 10. A woman’s vest has changed colors.

qq qq qq qq qq CHANGES KEEP SCORE

10 Please email us your event pictures to Info@communitylinks.info

GESHER HATORAH DINNER WITH THE LIONS (CHICAGO, IL)

Can you spot the differences in these two pictures?

DoubleTake

CLASSIFIEDS GIFTS

TRAVELING NOTARY

A Perfect Setting Great gifts for all occasions- invited out for a Shabbos meal? Baby gifts...Bas Mitzvah g i f t s . . . We d d i n g gifts...House warming gifts...Don't put it off. Come in today and go out relieved. Call for a special appointment

323-938-8222 or 323-620-3618

Yosef Y. Shagalov:

Traveling Notary Public & Home Signing Agent.

Wedding dresses Forsale & For Rent. Custom Designs, & Alterations, Sewing Classes Also Available. Please Call 323-933-5960 or 323-348-8786 -298-

ask for Rochel -692-

BRIS - ,hrc Traditional Ritual Circumcision Rabbi Nachman B. Kreiman Certified Mohel vjnun kvun

Home: 323.934.9329 Cell: 323.896.5098 www.expertmohel.com #1751

NOTARY

DRESS MAKER

BANDS

Cell:(323)934-7095 email: yys770@aol.com

Abi Notaries Public Your place/ Our place No appointment need it!! (Eng. Spanish-French-Italian-Yiddish-Portuguese-Hebrew) . 24/6 524 N. La Brea Ave Los Angeles, CA 90036 323-9300444 (office) 323-646-2356 (Cell x after hours) #209

310-595-5490

@ 818 754-4501. -1548-

DISCOUNT REALTY

DiscountRealty www.aDiscountRealty.com

Music by Ariel Louk

1% Listing broker Commission I pay buyer's closing cost no fee loans Orna@orna.com Ruben # 01098186 888-360-3337

One man band to a full orchestra Contact now for availability & rates

-1438-

BEAUTY -1540-

Call anytime for an appt.

Parenting With Wisdom

MUSIC BY MENDEL SIMONS

SHOULD BE HAPPY"

323-997-2647

will help you eliminate unwanted hair! Doctor referred over 10 years in the community. Reasonable rates, Flexible hours open Sundays by appt.

WORKSHOPS/CLASSES

What do I do when my child (fill in your least acceptable behavior)? Take the best parenting class in town to learn how to deal with misbehavior, discouragement and poor school performance. In addition, acquire all the skills necessary to raise confident, independent, and responsible children. Appropriate for ages 0-5, 6-11, and teens. Individual or group sessions. Affordable. Call Irine Schweitzer, LCSW for more information, www.parentingbyirine.com

"BECAUSE A SIMCHA

loukmusic@sbcglobal.net

Robin Schultz Ackerman

CAREER TRAINING Career Training Please see our ad on page 29 Los Angeles ORT Technical Institute. 800-998- 2678

LIVE@ MUSICBYMENDEL.COM

#1737

ISRAEL MORTGAGE Is Israel in your Future? Free mortgage consultation. Get help with the unique and challenging purchase process in Israel. Email Avraham at: amahler @mortgageisrael.com

LOWEST MORTGAGE RATES

LOANS www.aDiscountMortgage.com

SOUTHERN & CENTRAL CALIFORNIA JEWISH Tehachapi Torah Center/Kern Kehilla. Suited for Families, Individuals, and existing Torah Organizations. Healthy, Serene, Affordable, Child Friendly.'Twice the Home for Half the Money'. Priced from: $75,000 for a 3 bed 2 bath starter home. 125k-475k for very nice, larger, & high end homes. Lease: House $900, Shares $450. Apartments $650. 'Learn More' http://pearlmancta.com/kerncountykehilla.htm or contact: Roger M. at rmp@pearlmancta.com Phone: 310-948-5137

May 4, 2012 â&#x20AC;˘ 323-965-1544 â&#x20AC;˘ info@communitylinks.info

No up front fees Orna@orna.com 30 years Fixed no fees 3.75% APR 15 years Fixed no fees 3.25% APR

Ruben nmls314133 888-360-3337

Recession-Proof Careers Are you unemployed and collecting unemployment benefits? In just 8 months we will train you in a recession-proof career, and help you find an exciting job in: Pharmacy Technician, Medical Assistant, Medical Office Management, Accounting, Administrative Assistant, Business Management, Computer Graphics, Computer Aided Design. LA ORT is Non-Profit organization. Financial Aid, Scholarship and Transportation assistance are available. Call 323-966-5444 and ask for Flora. www.LAORT.edu

800.998.2678

WORKSHOPS/CLASSES

A Time for Dance A TIME FOR DANCt! Offering acting, singing, classical ballet, tap, gymnastics, jazz, hip hop, mommy and me and more! Ages 2- adult. Convenient Pico/Robertson, Labrea and North Hollywood locations. Join the fun!!

(323) 404-0827 www.atime4dance.com BABY NURSE

Baby nurse (newborn care specialist)Postpartum,Doul a,and Night Nanny. Great experience, awesome fees starting @$20. Certification, insurance ,trust line, TB. Please call 310-985-4151 or email gigimybabynurse @gmail.com. or visit website www.babee.com. Shalom GIGI.Roni Babysitting available for babies up to 1 yr old by experienced baby nurse, night nurses also available for newborns. Please call (323) 851-9207 worked for many years with families in the community references available upon request BABYSITTER AVAILABLE

Babysitting available for babies up to 1 yr old by experienced baby nurse . Night nurses also available for newborns please call (323) 851-9207. Worked for many years with families in the community. References available upon request.

Orthodox woman available to watch your children full time or part-time hours, at your location. Excellent references. 323-651-9389 #1750

May 4, 2012 • 323-965-1544 • info@communitylinks.info

REASONS TO CONSIDER A LIFE SETTLEMENT • Policy has not performed as anticipated • Need for cash flow • Beneficiary is now deceased • Premiums too costly

If you are over age 70, we can show you how your life insurance policy might pay off now, while you are alive and still here to enjoy it! What’s more, you may be able to sell your policy for considerably more than its cash surrender value.

• A change in estate size • A desire to purchase a survivorship policy • Changes in Estate Tax laws

Busines Changes: • Buy/Sell funding is no longer required • Business is sold • Changes in deferred compensation benefits • Bankruptcy proceedings

C A S E S T U DY

For a free, no obligation consultation and policy appraisal, by phone or in person

INSURED: Type of Policy: Face Amount: Cash Surender Value: Offer price to policy owner: Reason:

81 year old male Universal Life $5,000,000 $0 $860,000 Premiums of in-force policy were expensive and becoming difficult to afford. The insured no longer needed the policy and sold it for a sum worth approximately twice the policy’s cost basis. C A S E S T U DY

A PROUD MEMBER OF

LIFE INSURANCE SETTLEMENT ASSOCIACTION

May 4, 2012 • 323-965-1544 • info@communitylinks.info