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Experience Real Life
When I checked the psychiatrist’s notes, I could find no symptoms other than those that would be expected by a boy in grief. Dr. Robert Rome THE COMMUNITY LINKS is published bi-weekly and is distributed free to the Jewish Community of Southern California. THE COMMUNITY LINKS accepts no responsibility for typographical errors or reliability of Kashrus of any advertisers. All submissions become the property of THE COMMUNITY LINKS and may be shortened and/or edited for length and clarity. Articles published in THE COMMUNITY LINKS express the views of the individual writers and may not necessarily represent the views of THE COMMUNITY LINKS. No artwork or any part of the magazine may be reprinted or otherwise duplicated without the written permissions of the publisher.
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The Old Man's Song Within the walls of the shul, I heard echoes and I could almost see people, smiles from the past, clasping each other's arms, dancing. The chill inside me went deeper and I wanted to cry. What was left? Miriam Shapiro
Love Your Fellow Jew
When a person loves something outside of themselves, the basis of that love is the particular benefit that the person will derive from that object or person; It's really only the goodness which is attractive and appealing to us. Rabbi Reuven Wolf
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Bow & Arrow
But not everything is as up front as the explicit do's and don'ts of the Torah. Beyond them lie the ambiguities of intent and motive, the subtleties of love and awe, the interplay of ego and commitment; the taint of evil that shadows the most holy of endeavors, and the sparks of goodness that lie buried within the darkest reaches of creation. By Yanki Tauber
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Experience Real Life By Robert J. Rome, Ph.D.
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I
n my psychology practice, I now regularly encounter individuals who want to avoid the feelings of life. At the first sign of sadness, they want an anti-depressant. At the first pang of the simplest pain, they want an Advil. Many spend their lives trying to avoid the actual experiences of life. Life includes the good and the bad and the happy and the sad. There is the joy of having a newborn baby. There is the sadness of experiencing the death of a relative before his or her time. This is all part of real life. I met last week with a teenage boy who had experienced the death of his mother a couple of months ago. He was being raised by this single mother. His father had been killed when the boy was only six in a drive-by. Following the death of his mother, he is living with an aunt and is under the care and protection of the Department of Children and Family Services. The boy is experiencing grief. He and his mother were like best friends. He lost his mother. He lost his friend. There is now a big gap in his life. There is sadness. He is worried about his future. Where will he live? Who will take care of him? Grief is a very normal process. We have all read of Kubler-Ross’s stages of dealing with loss and grief. Grief is a healthy process. It is a natural way of dealing with loss. But as I reviewed his medical records and files, I observed that he was taken to a psychiatrist about a week after his mother’s death. The psychiatrist prescribed a heavy-duty anti-depressant. When I checked the psychiatrist’s notes, I could find no symptoms other than those that would be expected by a boy in grief. The doctor indicated that he had prescribed the anti-depressant to deal with the boy’s sadness. I
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actually could not find in the notes mention that the boy’s mother had just died. The boy was sad. Sadness could be related to depression. Give medication and reduce the sadness. This seemed to be the doctor’s reasoning. But shouldn’t the boy go through the process of dealing with his mother’s passing? Wouldn’t it be healthier to talk things through with the boy, rather than seek to eliminate the very real feelings of sadness through pills? We see on television a whole array of ads for “miracle” pills which address very natural life processes. By using these medications, the user will have younger skin, a “younger” feeling digestive tract. These ads appear to encourage the avoidance of natural life processes. There are many other ways in which individuals of all ages seek to put off life experiences. We can all understand that individuals fear getting older. We understand that people prefer to be happy and not sad. But some of the current trends are worrisome. Jewish students are going in increasing numbers to Israel for the year following high school. Studying in Israel can be a very positive experience. Many go through steps to register with a college that provides credits for your studies in Israel. These students often get full college credit for the year in Israel. Other students decide to seriously study and devote a year to studying Bible or Talmud before going the next year to college. Other students use the opportunity to delay college and spend a year “partying.” Any classes they take are not for credit. They take no tests. These students frequently state that they “want to take the year off ” before college. Isn’t this just one more way to escape real life? Once in college, many students take six or more years to finish. While it is
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true that many colleges have cut course offerings and many times it becomes impossible to finish a four-year program in four years, so many students seem in no rush to move on beyond college to real life. We also see delays to begin real life after completing college. It has become increasingly popular for young Jewish men to study for two or more years after getting married in a Kollel, a community-based yeshiva for just this purpose. The young wife works to support the new family as the husband is freed to study without the young man taking any responsibility for rent, food, and the other necessities. This agreement between new husband and bride often is the result of deep-rooted commitment and values. It is important to ensure that this is not just an attempt to postpone real life. One could argue that there will be no opportunity in the future for such serious study. One can also claim that taking time for a “truly spiritual experience” is important in our increasingly material world. To respond to this, I would like to thank my Rabbi, Rabbi Mordechai Einbinder of Chabad of Tarzana, for insights he recently provided in his sermon on the last day of Pesach. Rabbi Mordy said that “spiritual” is not always good. He pointed out that the student who desires to pursue spiritual study of the Talmud from 11:00 p.m. until 3:00 a.m. and ends up missing school the next day because he could not get out
of bed has not engaged in a positive experience. Rabbi Mordy reminded us of the need to be engaged in the material world. It is not enough to study. We must also do. It is scary to move forward in life. There is a place for a year of serious study. There is a place for medications to address symptoms of sadness associated with true depression. Delaying real life should not be the motivation for avoidance of the normal stages and symptoms of life. It is not comfortable dealing with death and sadness. But death also is part of life. It is hard to take responsibility, but taking charge of one’s life helps to make one an adult. We should welcome the opportunity to move forward in life. We should also welcome the opportunity to experience all facets of life. Life includes aging and sadness. We don’t need pills and treatments to prevent real life processes. When a 16 year old loses a mother, help him to cope, don’t prevent the very process of going through grief that will help him to move on. Don’t shield him from being sad. Help him to deal appropriately with his feelings. Don’t look to pills to stop experiencing real life. Help your young adult children to move forward and not seek to escape real life. Don’t use the “spiritual” to avoid life. Be engaged and help others to successfully engage. The life G-d created is well worth living. •
Robert J. Rome, Ph.D., is a licensed Psychologist in clinical practice in Encino, California. He can be reached at RJRome@aol.com.
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by Rabbi Reuven Wolf
oth portions of Acharei Mos and Kedoshim are filled with many important and fundamental mitzvos, but there is one towering Mitzvah, in Parshas Kedoshim of "v'Ahavta l'Reiacha k'Mocha/Love Your Fellow As Yourself." Many commentators are bothered with the feasibility of loving another person as one's self. A person's self-love comes from the inner core of being, it's the deepest love that one has and it seems impossible to love someone else in the same way. This is true even in regards to a good friend, with whom we have a close relationship and harbor a deep affection for. We can love another person, care for them, remain involved in their lives, and continue to grow and enhance the relationship, yet this love is still not like the love for ourselves. The concern for self is always deeper than for other people. What makes this more difficult to understand is the fact that the verse doesn't make any distinctions between people. "Love Your Fellow" includes every single Jew in the world - those who are likeable as well as those who are not too likeable. From scholars to the ignorant, whether good or bad, living next door or on the other side of the planet, the verse doesn't specify, and includes everyone.
Love your fellow as yourself When you love the Jew in yourself, You can love every Jew like yourself.
Because of these difficulties, many commentaries say that this verse should not be taken literally. They explain that the Torah isn't commanding us to feel love from within our hearts, rather, its commanding us to behave towards the other person as we would care for ourselves. As difficult as it may be to leave no stone unturned for another person, that is what the Torah is demanding, and it’s possible to put forth the effort to fulfill the mitzvah. The Kabbalists and Chasidic Masters, however, look at this verse at a literal level. When the Torah commands us to Love Your Fellow As Yourself, it means to literally have a feeling of love towards every Jew, just like one has for himself. In the teachings of Chassidus this is a fundamental principal, and is perhaps the cornerstone of the teachings of the Baal Shem Tov. Yet, how is it possible for the Torah to demand this from us, isn’t it impossible? When a person loves something outside of themselves, the basis of that love is the particular benefit that the person will derive from that object or person; It's really only the goodness which is attractive and appealing to us. As a simple example, if there is a piece of cake on a table in front of us we are drawn to that cake because as we get closer to the cake we begin to derive pleasure from it. First, we smell a delicious aroma, then, if we bring that
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cake even closer and eat it, it will tickle our taste buds enough to release a pleasurable sensation. That's a good thing, and that draws us to the cake. Similarly, we are drawn to our favorite songs or genre of reading materials, or even particular people. When we interact with them our lives are enhanced and we derive benefit and delight from them. Conversely, when we draw away from people or things, it's usually because when we get close to them they will cause irritation, discomfort, pain or bring harm to us. There is one exception to this rule, however, and it's our love for ourselves - there is no reason or motivation behind it. It's only when we want or need to reach outside of ourselves that we need something to prompt and motivate us to connect with that one particular person or thing, as opposed to the billions of others. When we love ourselves, it's not because we believe that we are great specimens of humanity. Perhaps some people do think that way, but even if we don't, even if sometimes we are disappointed with ourselves, we still love and care about ourselves and work constantly to make ourselves as comfortable and as happy as possible. These drives emanate from the core of our being, a place much deeper than reasoning or logic. It is this kind of super-rational love, the Chasidic masters explain, an essential love that doesn't need any cause or reason, that the Torah demands from us with Love Your Fellow As Yourself. But how is this possible? How can we ever love someone else the way we love ourselves? Our nature, from birth, is to feel that we are inherently apart and separated from each other, and the best we can do is, perhaps, love others by finding virtues and qualities in other people and work on loving those qualities. The Ari Z"L revealed a deep perspective of understanding within the Torah that makes this Mitzvah possible on a completely different dimension. He explains that when it comes to the Jewish people, we love each other as we love ourselves because we are really all one. While we may come down in different bodies, the source and root of every Jew is a singular soul, the soul of Adam HaRishon. As the first human, the primordial human, his soul contained within it
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the souls of all humanity. We are all a little piece of Adam's soul. This can be compared to many rays of the sun entering a house through different windows - every unique ray is born out of the same source, but arrives separately. Therefore, because we are all the same, since we all love ourselves with an essential love, so of course, we will love every Jew with this same essential love. Yet, even at this level of understanding, we might say that there are higher and lower souls, for example, the part of Adam's soul that gives life to the brain is obviously superior to that of the feet. The fact is, however, that our singularity goes even deeper, and we can trace the soul to an even deeper root, not as the souls are all one within the soul of Adam HaRishon, but as they are one emanation from G-d Himself. The Torah tells us says that Hashem blew a soul into Adam, "Vayipach B'Apav Nishmas Chaim." The Zohar elaborates: "one who blows, blows from his inner self" and that G-d, so to speak, took of himself and blew into Adam. We are also called G-d's children: "Banim Atem L'Hashem Elokeichem." The biological and psychological relationship that exists between parent and child is equal in the same way to the relationship between the souls of Israel and G-d. Any person that walks down the street with the power to have children, and the capacity to be intimate and produce life, is walking together with all of his unborn children within his body. At this level, there is no distinction between a toenail and a nose or a brain. All unborn children are one point within the parent, and they are not yet even the child, it's just the child as the child is the parent. So too, the soul of the Jewish people, in its original place prior to G-d's 'blowing' that soul into Adam, are completely one. More so, as G-d does not exist within time, the state of 'prior to' does not refer to time. When G-d projected the soul, is doesn't mean it ever left Him, it means there are now two dimensions to the soul. One dimension is within Hashem, as part of his pure and
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simple essence, in a place where there is absolutely no difference between any Jew, and where all are absolutely equal. In this dimension, the souls of Moshe Rabeinu, and of our patriarchs and matriarchs, are absolutely the same and one with the souls of our generation, whether observant or non observant , even those who appear to be in a lowly state. G-d is not made up of pieces, and here there is no difference whatsoever. Where do the differences begin? It is only as the child emerges from the parent that differences appear. Even in this dimension, where we can look around the world and perceive so many Jews - rays of G-dly light, our siblings with their countless personalities and behaviors - we must still remember that we know nothing about their souls. We cannot judge or distinguish anyone based upon our own assessments. The Chassidic masters emphasize that lofty souls often only come within the coarsest of bodies. We don't have any clue about the spiritual level, potential or challenges of any other human being. The work of our own lives is to strip away the façade of this world - to remove the shell that enables things to appear scattered and disjointed, as independent and separate from G-d. We do this by uncovering the intrinsic unity through the performance of the mitzvos, which are G-d's will. A person's ego and investment into self is the closest and most personal litmus test of their own Judaism and spirituality. If one can avoid becoming enmeshed within personal existence and self-worship, and instead opens up to soul-consciousness, a place where we understand, appreciate and cherish the will and existence of G-d, then it's impossible to view another Jew as a separate or distinct being. Rabbi Akiva said "Ze Klal Gadol B'Torah," this is a great principle of the Torah. Hillel said that after this principle, the rest of the Torah is simply commentary. Barcheinu Avinu Kulanu K'Echad - G-d blesses us when we are one. This is the preparation we need to have every day for our own service, the preparation we need to be vessels for the Torah, and the preparation we need to bring Moshiach speedily in our days.
Excerpt from "The Parsha In My Life" class by Rabbi Reuven Wolf. Maayon Yisroel was founded by Rabbi Reuven Wolf, a renowned educator and inspiring lecturer who has devoted his life to reaching out and rekindling the spirit of Yiddishkeit in his fellow Jew. To this end, he has taught children and adults in the greater Los Angeles area for the past 13 years. Over the past five years Rabbi Wolf has been teaching a 2-4 hour class on the weekly Parsha, named affectionately "The Thursday Night Shiur", which is infused with spiritually nurturing words from the great Chassidic masters. In addition, the popular Tuesday night shiur named "The Parsha In My Life" averages 60 people from all walks in Judaism.
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PARSHAS ACHAREI-MOT KEDOSHIM
Leap of Love
by Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky
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A
mong the many commandments explicated in this week's Torah portion we find the ubiquitous phrase of brotherly love. "Love your neighbor as yourself" (Leviticus 19:18) has found its way, in varying forms, into the moral codes of an array of cultures and civilizations.
expectations proved fruitless, and Reb Elchonon and the student were shown to the door, empty-handed.
What is interesting, however, are the phrases that precede this exhortation "You shall not take revenge, and you shall not bear a grudge against the members of your people; you shall love your neighbor as yourself -- I am Hashem."
"Upset? Why shouldn't I be upset? This man has the ability to support your whole yeshiva for a year, and he sent us away as if he does not have the ability to give even a dime!"
Rashi quotes the Talmud in Yoma on the varying forms of grudges: If Reuven says to Shimon, "Lend me your sickle," and Shimon replies, "No!" And the next day Shimon says to Reuven, "Lend me your hatchet," and Reuven retorts, "I am not going to lend it to you, just as you refused to lend me your sickle" - this is avenging. "Bearing a grudge," however, is: If Reuven says to another, "Lend me your hatchet", and he replies "No!" And on the next day he says to him, "Lend me your sickle," and Reuvain replies "Here it is; I am not like you, because you would not lend me" - this is bearing a grudge because he retains enmity in his heart although he does not actually avenge himself. The strange juxtaposition seems a bit difficult to comprehend. Why would the Torah warn us against revenge, an act that is surely filled will malice and ill-will, and then command us to instead love our brother as our self ? Surely one who wants revenge is not ready to take that great leap, from anger-filled rage to the highest level of brotherly love? Shouldn't the Torah rather end the exhortations with the plea of brotherly reconciliation? Isn't asking the potential avenger to love the object of his anger like himself asking too much? Rabbi Elchonon Wasserman, the Rosh Yeshiva of the Baranovitch Yeshiva, visited the United States in the latter part of the 1930s to raise funds for his yeshiva. Unfortunately, he made a greater impact on the America than America made on his yeshiva, and the funds raised did not help much. Reb Elchonon returned to a Poland clouded by the darkness of war to be with his students for the ensuing nightmare. The Nazis later murdered him together with his students in Kovno (Kaunus) Ghetto. While he was in the United States, he was accompanied by young, enthusiastic students, my father amongst them, who felt privileged to help the great sage in his efforts. Once, a student brought him to visit a wealthy man who had a philanthropic reputation. The bachur was confident that the meeting would prove successful. Unfortunately, the
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The young man left the house and sat down on the steps of the mansion utterly dejected. Reb Elchonon, who was quite tall, bent down to him, "Why are you so upset?" he asked softly.
Reb Elchonon smiled. "The Torah tells us that Moshe was told to choose Betzalel to build the Mishkan. Let us assume that Moshe went in the street and asked where he could find Betzalel. Moshe was told that Betzalel could be found in the Bais Medrash. He went into the Bais Medrash and asked someone, 'Are you Betzalel?' The man said no. Should Moshe have been upset? Of course not! It's not the man's fault that he was not Betzalel! He was not born Betzalel and his job was obviously not to be Betzalel! Moshe went to another man. Are You Betzalel? Again the man said no! Should Moshe have been angry with him? Again, of course not! "Well, my son," continued Reb Elchonon, "You can't be upset with him! He is just not the man that was chosen to help!" Perhaps one can explain the verse by saying that one cannot be upset when the hammer is not offered. If your friend did not give you want you wanted, then this particular neighbor is obviously not the vehicle, messenger, or shliach to give it to you! You can't avenge that fact! Perhaps that is why the phrase to love your neighbor as yourself follows the Torah's exhortations against revenge. At a time that you are disappointed, even angry, at a friend or relative for not lending or giving you an item, take a step back and think. "Are you angry at yourself for not having a hammer?" Of course not! Why should you be? You don't own a hammer! You can't be angry at yourself if you don't have the hammer! If you don't have a hammer you can't give yourself the hammer! The posuk is telling us. "You shall not bear a grudge; you shall love your neighbor as yourself!” Just as you do not bear a grudge at yourself for not having a hammer, don't be angry at anyone else. After all, they obviously weren't the ones chosen to give it to you! So next time you are upset at someone for not aiding you in what you yourself could not achieve, think. Do not take revenge or harbor ill-will. Treat your neighbor as you would have treated the original culprit of incapability and love him as yourself! •
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I
was eighteen. It was just after Passover. I was one of a group of six thousand Jewish teenagers and two thousand Holocaust survivors on a trip back
in time.
This trip, the March of the Living, took the group to the concentration camps, where our mourning was swallowed by the cry of the wind whiffing around the now stilled smokestacks of Auschwitz, Birkenau, and Majdanek. From the camps, we traveled to Israel, seeking refuge from the pain in a land all our own, as had millions of others before us. The difference was that we had made it, and we could hold Israel's dry earth between our fingers, where so many had died trying just to set foot on the sacred soil. A busy teenager, I had not elected to go on the March. Only an unforeseen turn of events, involving a complete scholarship for the trip, found me sharing this intimate journey with six thousand strangers. My going on the March was one of the many instances of G-d’s hand at the wheel of my life, and perhaps the first time I was aware of His directions. We travelers were im-
tumes, these children wore jeans, colored sweatshirts, sneakers—they looked like 'real kids.' My eyes met those of the little boy nearest the bus. I smiled at him, waving. The little boy raised his arm and pointed. "Zydi!" Jews! "Zydi! Zydi!" In seconds, all the children followed the little boy. "Zydi! Zydi!" They pointed and laughed and made horrible faces. I felt stung and freezing cold, as though I had dunked in a bath of ice water. No amount of warm clothes could fix it. What were we doing here? The bus pulled up in front of a grassy clearing. I was shivering, but allowed myself to be herded with the rest of the group into a building about the size of a modern-day classroom. It smelled like earth and paint. The building—the shul of Tikocyn, the rabbi on our bus explained—had once been a striking structure, a landmark of beauty in this bleak place. When the Nazis, may their names be erased, arrived in Tikocyn, they quickly and efficiently disposed of the town's Jews
The Old Man's Song Visiting the Concentration Camps mersed in an era and in a place that, paradoxically, did and did not belong to us; thrust into the tumult of the trip, we had no choice. The bus entered the town of Tikocyn, a small hamlet about an hour away from Cracow, Poland. I stared goggleeyed from my seat on the bus. The bus squeezed and jostled its way down a narrow, rutted dirt path lined with ramshackle one-story houses, each with two windows, a door and a chimney, like a first-grader's drawing of home. We drove past a toothless woman bent feeding the chickens in her yard. I watched her pursed lips and her wobbling chin as she clucked to the chickens, tossing pale golden grains from their cache in her flowered apron. As we passed her, she made no acknowledgement of our presence. I felt invisible. Farther down the road two old men stood talking. One wore a hat with earflaps, the other, a bloody apron. I was reminded of Lazar Wolf, the butcher, from Fiddler on the Roof. They laughed; their bellies shook. They went about their lives as if buses full of Jewish teenagers and Holocaust survivors passed by every day. We drove on. The bus drove by a group of schoolchildren. Unlike the old woman and the men in their stepped-out-of-time cos-
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in a mass grave in the nearby woods. The shul in which we now stood only remained because the Nazis had used it as a stable. Most of the walls had been smashed; the lines of Psalms that had once been painted on every surface remained in bits and pieces where the plaster had not been destroyed. Within the walls of the shul, I heard echoes and I could almost see people, smiles from the past, clasping each other's arms, dancing. The chill inside me went deeper and I wanted to cry. What was left? "Ah," said the rabbi heading our bus. We were waiting for the caretaker of the shul. "Here he is." A wizened old man shuffled through the doorway. Watching him slowly walk towards us, seeing the deadened look in his eyes, we knew where he had been. He looked up and saw us—two hundred strong, only a fraction of the six thousand—and clapped his hands together. "Yism'chu, v'mal'chu's'cho, shoymrei, shoymrei, shoymrei Shabbos, v'koyreh oyneg Shabbos…" he sang. His thin voice filled the shul. His eyes lost their haunted, hollow look; joy shone from his face as he gazed at us. I did not know the words or the tune. But I knew that I
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wanted him to keep singing. Someone in our group brought his hands together, clapping in time to the old man's song. Others joined in with the words. Still more of us followed the tune as best we could, making up the words as we went along. I linked arms with the girls beside me, letting the old man's song fill the cold place brought on by the jeering children minutes before. www.schwartzbakeryla.com
Then I knew why we had come. At Passover, we celebrate our redemption from Egypt, leaving in haste—thus the matzah—but leaving on our terms. We were not allowed to leave Tikocyn, Auschwitz, Majdanek. Unless, now, we fight back. The Torah says that a Jew must consider himself as if he personally had come out of Egypt. What kind of Egypt? An Egypt, perhaps, where the Pharaoh wore a swastika. An Egypt of a generation whose story is only told through the old man's song, and through those given the chance to hear it. Through the song, we fight back. In the old man's song, though I did not understand it that day, were the silenced voices of our brethren and the voices of children waiting to come down to this world. In the old man's song I heard G-d's promise to us that we, the Jews, would be as numerous as the stars, and a plea as ringing and strong as a brass bell that we, the young ones, must help to fulfill that promise. It became our task, as the old man's voice reached the crumbling rafters of the shul in Tikocyn, to embrace and to keep G-d's Torah in any way we could. In the old man's song I heard not the anguish of the past but the surety of a gleaming, vibrant future. That day, I vowed to fight back—and to listen to the old man's song. • Miriam Shapiro is a busy wife & full-time mom. A writer and professional cake decorator, she lives in Los Angeles, California.
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A
n outside observer of human life would probably describe it something like this: They wake up in the morning, spend 16 to 18 hours using objects to manipulate other objects, and go to sleep. On the whole, this is how we conduct our lives. When something faces us, we grab hold of something else -- a telephone, a wallet, a gun -- with which to deal with the situation. But there comes a point at which the phone is just a piece of plastic, there's nothing to shoot at, and no matter how much money is expended, it doesn't get any better. The external resources on which we've come to rely are suddenly ineffectual, and the only place to turn is inward, to ourselves. ••• Lag BaOmer, the 33rd day of the Omer Count that connects Passover to Shavuot, is the birthday of Jewish mysticism. For many generations, the inner soul of Torah -- also known as the "Kabbalah" -- was transmitted from teacher to disciple in the form of cryptic maxims, in private, and only to a very few individuals in each generation. These teachings chart the sublime expanses of the divine reality, the processes of creation, G-d's relationship to our existence and the inner recesses of the human soul. The tremendous power they contain, and their extreme subtlety, makes them extremely vulnerable to corruption. Thus, for many years it was forbidden to reveal these teachings. The first to disseminate the teachings of Kabbalah to a wider group of disciples was Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai, who lived in the 2nd century CE. The most significant revelation came about on the day of Rabbi Shimon's passing, on which he expounded for many hours on the most intimate secrets of the divine wisdom. That day was Lag BaOmer. Centuries were to pass before the great Kabbalist Rabbi Isaac Luria (the "Holy Ari", 1534-1572) would proclaim, "In these times, we are allowed and duty-bound to reveal this wisdom," and Rabbi Israel Baal Shem Tov (16981760) and his disciples were to make them accessible to all via the teachings of Chassidism. But Lag BaOmer remains the day on which "Jewish mysticism" made its first emergence from the womb of secrecy and exclusivity. Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai instructed his disciples to cel-
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ebrate this day as a joyous festival -- and so it is marked in every Jewish community to this day. ••• One of the ways in which we celebrate Lag BaOmer is by taking children out to parks and fields to play with bows and arrows. The Lubavitcher Rebbe explains that the bow-and-arrow symbolizes the power of inwardness -- the power unleashed by the mystic soul of Torah. The first weapons devised by man were designed for hand-to-hand combat. But a person's enemy or prey is not always an arm's-length away, or even within sight. Soon the warrior and hunter felt the need for a weapon that could reach a target a great distance away, or which lies invisible and protected behind barriers of every sort. With a bow and arrow, the tension in an arched bough of wood is exploited to propel a missile for great distances and slash through barriers. The inventor of this device first had to grasp the paradox that the deadly arrow must be pulled back toward one's own heart in order to strike the heart of the opponent, and that the more it is drawn toward oneself, the more distant an adversary it can reach. The external body of Torah is our tool for meeting the obvious challenges of life. Do not kill or steal, it instructs us; feed the hungry, hallow your relationships with the sanctity of marriage, rest on Shabbat, eat only kosher foods -- for thus you will preserve the order that G-d instituted in His world and develop it in accordance with the purpose towards which He created it. But not everything is as up front as the explicit do's and don'ts of the Torah. Beyond them lie the ambiguities of intent and motive, the subtleties of love and awe, the interplay of ego and commitment; the taint of evil that shadows the most holy of endeavors, and the sparks of goodness that lie buried within the darkest reaches of creation. How are we to approach these challenges, so distant from our sensory reach and so elusive of our mind's comprehension? This is where the mystical dimension of Torah comes in. It guides us in a retreat to our own essence, to the very core of our soul. It illuminates the selfless heart of the self, the spark of G-dliness within us that is one with its Creator and His creation. From there we unleash the power to deal with the most distant and obscure adversary; from there we catapult our redeeming influence to the most forsaken corners of G-d's world. •
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PARSHAS EMOR 36
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T
he portion Emor begins with a series of exhortations directed to the chosen among the chosen. The elite group of Ahron's descendants are warned about myriad requirements, obligations, and responsibilities that they share as the spiritual leaders of the Jewish nation.
Rav Yaakov tried to explain to the father of the child that a pidyon haben was unnecessary, but the father was adamant. He had prepared a great spread, appointed a kohen, and even had the traditional silver tray sprinkled with garlic and sugar cubes, awaiting the baby. He wanted to carry out the ceremony!
The most celebrated of them regards the defilement of a dead person. "Hashem said to Moses, Say to the Kohanim, the sons of Aaron, and tell them, Each of you shall not contaminate himself with a [dead] person among his people" (Leviticus 21:1).
It took quite a while for Rav Yaakov to dissuade the man that this was no mitzvah, and to perform the ceremony with a blessing would be not only superfluous, but also irreverent and a transgression.
Note the odd expression, "Say to the kohanim, and tell them" The commentaries are quick to point out this seemingly redundant exhortation. It surely seems that telling them once is not enough.
(In fact, one apocryphal ending has the father complaining, "What do you mean, I don't have to make a pidyon haben? I made one for my first son and I'm going to make one for this son!")
Rashi, in fact, quotes Tractate Yevamos:114a explaining, "Say, and again thou shalt say unto them -- this repetition is intended to admonish the older about their young ones also, that they should teach them to avoid defilement." Clearly, the repetitive nature of the verse defines an exhortation, one far beyond the normal "no." Can there perhaps be a directive to the child within us as well?
Ultimately, Rav Yaakov, convinced the man to transform the celebration into a party commemorating, his child's 30th day entered in good health, an important milestone with many halachic ramifications.
My grandfather, Rabbi Yaakov Kamenetzky, of blessed memory, told me the story of how, as the Rav of Toronto, he was quickly introduced to a new world, far different than the world he was accustomed to as the Rav of the tiny Lithuanian shtetl of Tzitivyan, which he left in 1937. One of his congregants had invited him to a pidyon haben, a special ceremony and feast made when a firstborn child reaches thirty days old and his father redeems him from the kohen for five silver shekels (dollars). Entering the hall, Rav Yaakov was impressed by the beautiful meal prepared in honor of the event. He was reviewing the procedure, and the interaction with the Kohen that would frame the event, when the father of the child introduced Rav Yaakov to his father-in-law, a Mr. Segal. Suddenly, Rav Yaakov realized that there was trouble. If Mr. Segal was a Levite, as the name Segal traditionally denotes (Se'gan L'kohen, an assistant to the Kohen), than there would be no need for a Pidyon HaBen. For, if the mother of the child is the daughter of either a Kohen or Levi, then no redemption is necessary. "Mr. Segal," asked Rav Yaakov, "are you by any chance a Levi?" "Of course!" beamed the elderly Segal.
Sometimes our desire to perform Mitzvos transcends the will of Hashem not to do them, especially when it comes to emotionally charged rituals that deal with birth and death. In Jerusalem, there is a custom that mourners do not accompany their father's body into the cemetery. Many foreigners, who have attended their parents' funerals in Jerusalem, refuse to abide by that custom, and go to the cemetery despite the protestations of the Jerusalem Chevra Kadisha (Burial Society). It is most difficult to suppress tears on the Shabbos during one's mourning period. However, one must not grieve on the Shabbos. And now, imagine, how difficult is it for a kohen to hold back from attending the funeral of a dear friend or cousin, or any family member who does not fit the criteria that would allow kohenetic defilement? After all, isn't attending a funeral a great mitzvah? Thus, when the Torah discusses the prohibition of defilement, the Torah must announce, "Tell them and tell them, To warn the greater ones to teach the weaker or lesser ones." The power of constraint is not that simple, but the temptation to transgress is compounded when the transgression is rationalized with validity and good-feelings. Thus, the will of the L-rd must be emphatically reiterated to our weaker instincts, when mortal rationality can distort Divine will. â&#x20AC;˘
Rabbi Mordechai Kaminetzky
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Calfornia Kosher Kitchen Engagements Ruthie Levine & Eli Bloch Adina Khaimov & Ezra Forouzan Annie Wasserman & David Statman Lea Breiner & Binyomin Greenberg Gitty Bamberger & Nechemia Goldstien Sora Baila Bakst & Zvi Hershberg Rachel Himelstein & Zachary Richards Eliana Schwartz & Moshe Heller Chava Wax & Rabbi Yitzchok Michaan
Hot N Sweet Kettle Corn
Weddings Lissie Epstein & Dor Markush Births - Boys Chani & Shmuli Sufrin Elka & Eli Baitelman Iris & Shaul Douek Adina & Liron Kopinsky Mali & Leon Garfield Selena & Daniel Treister
Ingredients Filling: • 1/2 cup unpopped corn kernels • 1/4 cup white sugar • 1/4 cup vegetable oil • 1 teaspoon chipotle powder • 1 teaspoon salt
Births - Girls Chaya & Mendel Cohen Elke & Shloime Rubin Avigail & Yehuda M. Shawrtzbord
Directions Place popcorn, sugar, oil, chipotle and salt in a large kettle or pot with a tight fitting lid over medium heat. When corn begins to pop, shake the pot constantly. When popping slows, remove from heat and transfer popped kettle corn to a bowl.
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To keep the kettle corn sweet, omit the chipotle powder and adjust sugar to 1/3 cup.
FRIDAY, APRIL 23, 2010 Light Candles at: 7:13 pm ••• FRIDAY, APRIL 30, 2010 Light Candles at: 7:18 pm ••• FRIDAY, MAY 7, 2010 Light Candles at: 7:23 pm
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1. The number 2 on the DVD has been changed to the number 3. 2. The white words “New Version” on the DVD are missing. 3. Shmuel’s bracelet is missing. 4. The bars in the background on the right hand side are missing. 5. The wall in the background is higher. 6. The tree in the back is bigger. 7. Bentzi’s buttons are missing. 8. Shmuel’s tie color has been changed. 9. Bentzi’s shirt collar has been chortened. 10. The pool in the back has been raised.
qq qq qq qq qq
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8TH DAY 8th Day holding the latest “Shmorg” compilation CD from Oorah. The CD features their latest single “Its Shabbos Now”. The music video is due for release on May 2, La B’Omer.
Can you spot the differences in these two pictures?
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CAREER TRAINING PROGRAMS Are you Unemployed and collecting Unemployment Benefits? FULL Financial Aid is available to unemployed individuals. Receive career training at NO COST to YOU. These funds are available through President Obama’s Economic Stimulus Package. Act now while funds are available. Los Angeles ORT Technical Institute has several Nationally Accredited Career Training Programs. Please call 323-966-5444. Ask for Flora or Jesse. -784www.LAORT.edu
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PICO / ROBERTSON AREA RENTALS • 3bd 2BA recently renovated $2,200 • 3bd 2BA+Den New Kitchen/Bath $2,300 • Fairfax Area Rental 2 BD 1BA $1,700 Need help renting your vacancies? Call Us Now!!
310.551.0660 FOR SALE 1.Mid size apartment building in Huntington Beach with great potential, although the Cp & GRM are already high. 2. 7 unit in Pico- Robertson area. 3. Two pocket listing of Houses in Beverly Hills, North of Santa Monica, one for $2,500,000. 4. Short sale house available in Laguna Niguel. 5. House in auction available in Malibu. Please Call Daniel 310-279-2991
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Dining Guide Listing Please Call 323-965-1544
DINING GUIDE
MEAT Afshan Restaurant RCC 106 W. 9th St. LA, (213) 622-1010 Bocca Steakhouse RCC 16610 Ventura. Encino, 91436 (818) 905-5855 Café Del Mar Dairy/Meat Kehila 12526 Burbank Blvd. N.H. 91607 (818) 487-8171 Chic N Chow Kehila 9301 West Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 274-5595 Chinese and Kabob Kehila 9180 Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 274-4007 Circa RCC 433 N. Fairfax Avenue, LA, 90036 323-653-1941 Cohen’s Restaurant RCC 316 E Pico Blvd # F LA, CA 90015 (213) 742-8888 Delice Bistro Kehila 8581 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 289-1702 Elat Burger Ben Zaken 9340 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 278-4692 Elite Cuisine RCC 7119 Beverly Blvd. LA, 90036 (323) 930-1303 Falafel Express Bukstan 5577 Reseda Blvd. Tarzana, 9135 (818) 345-5660 Falafel Grill Chabad 5611 Kanan R. Agoura Hills, 91301 (818) 991-8799 Glatt Hut RCC 9303 W. Pico Blvd. 90035 (310) 246-1900 Golan RCC 13075 Victory Blvd. N. H, 91606 (818) 763-5344 Got Kosher? RCC 8914 W. Pico Blvd. 90035 (310) 858-1920 Habayit Bukstan 11921 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90064 (310) 479-5444 Haifa Ben Zaken 8717 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 888-7700
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Jeffs Gourmet Kehila 8930 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 858-8590 Kosher Chicks RCC 186081/2Ventura Blvd. Tarzana, 91356 (818) 343-8800
The Meating Place KCA 30313 Canwood St. AH, 91301 (818) 706-1255
Tierra Sur at Herzog Winery 3201 Camino DelSol Oxnard (805) 983-1560
La Gondola Kehila 9025 Wilshire Blvd. BH, 90211 (310) 247-1239
Beverly Elite Cafe RCC 7115 Beverly Blvd. LA, 90036 (323) 936-2861
Mashu Mashu RCC 12510 Burbank Blvd. 91607 (818)752-ASIA (2742)
Beverly Cafe Elite RCC 7113 Beverly Blvd. LA, 90035 (323) 931-3563
Metro Glatt RCC 8975 W. Pico Blvd. 90035 (310) 275-4420
Bibis Warmstone Kehila 8928 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 246-1788
Nagilla Meating Place Kehila 9407 West Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 788-0119
Bramis Pizza
Orange Delight Kehila 13628 Ventura Blvd. SO, 91423 (818) 788-9896 Pats Kehila 9233 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 205-8705 Pico Kosher Deli RCC 8826 West Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 273-9381 Pita Way RCC 8532 Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 652-5236 Sassis Kehila 15622 Ventura, Encino, 91436 (818) 986-5345 Shanghai Kehila 9401 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 553-0998 Shilohs Kehila 8939 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 858-1652 Subway Kehila 8948 W Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 274-1222 Sunrise RCC 9216 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 786-8282 Temptation Grill Kehila 17547 Ventura B. Encino, 91316 (818) 995-4700
ou
Nagilla Pizza Kehila 9411 West Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 788-0111
DAIRY
La Glatt RCC 446 Fairfax Ave. LA, 90036 (323) 658-7730
Milky Way Kehila 9108 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 859-0004
Nana Cafe RCC 1509 S Robertson Blvd. (310) 407-0404 Pico Cafe Kehila 8944 W Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 310-385-9592 Pizza Maven Kehila 140 North La Brea Blvd. 90036 (323) 857-0353
RCC
17736 ShermanWay, Reseda 91326
Pizza Nosh Rabbi Ami Markel 30313 Canwood St. A.H. 91301 (818) 991-3000
(818) 342-0611 Circa RCC 8622 W Pico Blvd, Los Angeles (310) 854-0592 Cow Jumped Over The Moon
Kehila
421 N Rodeo Drive, B.H. 90210 (310) 274-4269 Delice Kehila 8583 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 289-6556 Fish Grill Kehila 7226 Beverly Blvd. LA, 90036 (323) 937-7162 12013 Wilshire Blvd. LA, 90025 (310) 479-1800 9618 W. Pico Blvd. 90035 (310) 860-1182 22935 Pacific Coast Highway (310) 456-8585
Pizza Station Kehila 8965 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 276-8708 Pizza World Kehila 365 Fairfax Ave. LA, 90036 (323) 653-2896 Sassis Sushi Kehila 16550 Ventura, Encino, 91436 (818) 783-2727 Shalom Pizza RCC 8715 West Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 271-2255 Unique Cafe Rabbi Aron Simkin 18381 Ventura Blvd. Tarzana (818) 757-3100
PAREVE
Jerusalem Pizza Kehila 17942 Ventura Blvd. Encino, CA 91316
(818) 758-9595 La Brea Bagel Kehilla 7308 Beverly Blvd. LA, 90036 (323) 965-1287 La Pizza Rabbi Furst 12515 Burbank Blvd. N.H, 91607 (818) 760-8198 Milk N Honey RCC 8837 West Pico Blvd LA, 90035 (310) 858-8850
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Fish In The Village RCC 12450 Burbank Blvd. N.H, 91607 (818) 769-0085 Le Sushi 12524 Burbank Blvd N.H. 91607 (818) 763-6600 SushiKo RCC 9340 West Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 274-3474
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