February 13 - February 27
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Vol. 5 Issue 125 B’H B ’H H
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Recommends the following Candidates for the March 3, 2009 L.A. City Primary Election: MAYOR
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COUNCIL MEMBER - DISTRICT 5
PAUL KORETZ With six well qualified candidates running for this seat we chose the candidate with the strongest credentials who has always been accessible and has done much for Our Community during his nearly 20 years as an elected official.
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In these times of extreme financial uncertainty, we need strong representation at City Hall. Someone who has been involved enough to understand how to get things done and yet not entrenched in the broken machinery of local politics. Someone familiar with the powers that work with and against the system but who still has a forward-thinking and progressive vision for our City. Someone who understands the values and needs of our community as a whole and our City as a whole. Someone who has a proven record of civic service and Jewish community involvement. That “Someone” is clearly Adeena Bleich. Adeena brings with her a unique combination of non-profit and government experience that will allow her to hit the ground running at full speed and be a solid advocate and leader from the beginning. Adeena has been a leader of Jewish causes in Los Angeles throughout her entire professional career, whether as the Jewish Community Liaison for the Fifth Council District or as the Los Angeles Area Director for AIPAC. Adeena's deep commitment to public service, the Jewish community, and the City of Los Angeles make her the best candidate for this position. On March 3rd, the only responsible vote you can cast for Councilmember in Council District 5 is for Adeena Bleich, who will bring with her a commitment to our schools, our shuls, our safety and most importantly our future and the future of our children.
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Features
February 16, 2009
community links • Volume 5 Issue 125
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28 10
Teaching Our Children to Become Good Citizens
20
When our children think first of others, when they respect peers and adults alike, when they exhibit good Midot, that is when we have achieved educational success.
Man Over Moses The woman at the other end gasped. "Rabbi Kaamenetzky?" she drawled. "Did you say you were Rabbi Kamenetzky?" She knew the name! It sounded as if she was about to follow up with a weighty question... Parshas Yisro
Robert J. Rome Ph.D
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But Does It Speak To You Berl answers, "Rabbi, a mitzvah is a mitzvah, but business is business." Rabbi Yossy Goldman
34
Do We Need Faith? Faith is our most powerful resource. It enables your spirit to soar above and beyond the pains and difficulties of life below - The Lubavitcher Rebbe Rabbi Simon Jacobson
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Teaching Our Children to Become Good Citizens:
THE
REMEDY TO
KILLING WITH
PEANUT BUTTER
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O
ur headlines have recently had one example of behavior which is so shocking as to defy the behavior necessary for
basic civilization.
The executives of a manufacturer of peanut butter in Georgia knowingly have continued to sell peanut butter tainted with salmonella to other companies. There are reports of a dozen or more tests by the company which revealed salmonella in the tainted peanut butter. Yet, these executives continued to sell the peanut butter. Children and others at severe risk for salmonella poisoning have died. And because the company sold their peanut butter to other food companies who then mixed the peanut butter into ice cream, peanut butter and crackers, cakes, and a host of other foods, it is impossible for the consumer to know which products may include peanut butter from this offending company. Billions of dollars of peanut butter products have been taken from the shelf, while people continue to die or become severely ill. What would cause college-educated executives to knowingly put the public in such danger? Is this not murder when executives market food that is poisoned? The actions of these company executives is nothing other than terrorism as they have put the entire nation in fear. How do we stop such a large company from killing children with peanut butter? In a recent interview that I heard on the radio, the commentator discussed how there is some behavior which simply does not require specific rules or laws. It should simply be obvious to someone raised in civilized society that a company should not sell poisoned food to the public. Some behavior is just on the face of it wrong, corrupt, and scandalous. No amount of business profits would warrant putting the entire nation at risk. We have some slogans which warn us: “Let the buyer beware.” “If it looks too good to be true, it probably is.” Etc. Yet, nothing has prepared us for the alleged $50 billion dollar Ponzi scheme of Bernie Madoff which reportedly has destroyed many charities and hundreds of families who had invested with Madoff. Nothing could have led us to foresee that eating a scoop of peanut butter ice cream might become a cause of death.
havior confronting our country on such a large scale becomes depressing. What is needed instead is a discussion of how to prevent such behavior. These monsters who have brought fear and loss to the American public were educated in our American schools (even in some cases in our Jewish schools). Many have college degrees from prestigious universities. With all this “education,” they never seemed to learn core values necessary for civilized society. Their decisions and actions have stolen billions and killed or sickened perhaps hundreds. What has been the value of the education that has been given to these corrupt “leaders” if they do not understand the basics of what behavior is required to live in a community of people? Do we have to rethink our educational process? Do we have to formulate a different kind of curriculum where those who graduate from our school include ethical and moral judgment in their daily decisions? What kind of education may serve as protection against the spreading scandalous behavior which seems to surround us? In a world where so many seem to equate success with making millions regardless of how, there is a core of Jewish educators who are striving to educate students in fundamental values, Midot, best defined as virtuous behavior. The process of how we act becomes more important than the content of subject matter we may learn. Exemplary behavior, whether in the classroom or on the field, needs to be commended. Students should be rewarded for kindness. A straight A average is nice. But a student’s call to another student who has been absent from school for an illness is praiseworthy. Good behavior is not merely the avoidance of fighting or strife. There is a need for positive interaction. Helping the struggling student to succeed is the type of behavior expected of our stronger students. Respect. Modesty. Cooperation. Caring. Seeing the good in others. These are the markers that we seek in the behavior of our children and teens. These are the desired behaviors we wish our children to bring into the adult community as they graduate and move forward from school to the adult community. When our children think first of others, when they respect peers and adults alike, when they exhibit good Midot, that is when we have achieved educational success.
Discussing the corrupt natures of the scandalous be-
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When our children think first of others, when they respect peers and adults alike, when they exhibit good Midot, that is when we have achieved educational success. When parents visit prospective schools for their children, they should be looking beyond test scores. They should be exploring the behavior that students exhibit on the playground. They should observe the coming and going of children and families at dismissal. Are there smiles on faces and cooperation shown, or is there pushing others aside to rush to the parents’ cars? As a psychologist, I frequently go to schools to observe children in the classroom. As I enter many public schools, I see a big banner indicating that the school participates in the nationwide “Character Counts” program. This says something. That the school has a stated purpose of promoting character is exemplary. We need to see similar banners promoting character and Midot at our Jewish day schools, Yeshivot, and synagogue educational programs. When we start early in inculcating values in our children, we provide the basis, the foundation for lifelong positive behavior. It is a lengthy process that may take an entire generation to achieve, but changing the focus of our educational programs toward values will provide the basis for the turnaround in values we seek. We should not have to worry about dying from the peanut butter-flavored candy we eat. With a change in the focus of our educational programs, we will develop better people. We will then see a better society. Robert J. Rome, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist in clinical practice in Encino, California. He can be reached at RJRome@aol.com.
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But Does it Speak to You?
By Yossy Goldman Rabbi Yossy Goldman is Senior Rabbi of the Sydenham Highlands North Shul since 1986, and Chairman of the South African Rabbinical Association.
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T
he locomotive was making its first appearance in a little town of old. No one had ever seen a horseless carriage before. Every one of the townspeople gathered at the new station to witness history in the making. The gun was fired and with a flourish of huffing and puffing the locomotive roared out of the station. Well… the engine that is. Unfortunately, the shlemiel whose job it was to hitch the other cars to the engine had forgotten to do so, and the long train of carriages were left behind in a trail of smoke. Sometimes, the most meticulously laid plans--a business strategy, a football game plan, or even (perish the thought), a synagogue resolution made on Yom Kippur--fail to come to fruition--all because we neglected to hitch the engine to the train... The introduction to the Ten Commandments we will read in this week's Parshah is, And G d spoke all these words, to say… In Hebrew, leimor. Now, when the Torah uses the word leimor, "to say," it is usually because G d is telling Moses something important which Moses in turn should pass on and tell the Children of Israel. So the word leimor makes perfect sense. He said it to him to say it to them. But here we have a problem. You see, every Jew was present at Sinai, and according to the mystics, that includes even the unborn souls of future generations. So there was no need for Moses to pass on anything to anyone. All the Jews heard the Ten Commandments directly from G d. So why the word leimor? To say to whom? Rabbi DovBer, the great Maggid of Mezeritch, explained that here the word leimor means to speak to you. That these words should not remain mere words, but should resonate and say something meaningful to you personally. They should be said and heard so that they continue to reverberate forever after in your minds, heart and deeds. The Ten Commandments must not remain an abstract idea, an unhitched engine, a nice philosophy or an interesting cultural practice - something of no more significance to yourself than the rituals of
ancient Incas of Peru. The Ten Commandments must be relevant enough to make a difference in our lives; otherwise, whom did G d say them to and whatever for? The Talmud describes a thief who prays to G d for success before breaking in to commit a burglary. The epitome of hypocrisy--G d told you, "You shall not steal," and you have the audacity to ask Him to help you succeed in defying His wishes? This has got to be the ultimate chutzpah! How do we get a handle on this Talmudic thief's hypocrisy? The answer is that this thief, too, is a believer, but his faith is superficial and doesn't permeate his being sufficiently to influence his behavior. Deep down he has faith but he remains a religious goniff! They tell the story of a rabbi who was in his study when in walked Berl, the town pickpocket. "Rabbi, I was walking down the street and found this wallet lying on the ground. I know that to return a lost article is a mitzvah of the Torah, so I brought it in. Perhaps you can make an announcement in Shul and find the rightful owner." The rabbi sees there is a fair amount of cash in the wallet. He is so inspired at Berl's change of heart that he embraces him and congratulates him on his reformation. Later, the rabbi notices that the gold watch he had in his jacket pocket is missing. He calls Berl and asks him if perchance he may have inadvertently taken his watch. Berl confesses. "I don't understand you Berl. You find a wallet full of cash in the street and you return it, and then you go and steal my gold watch? Berl answers, "Rabbi, a mitzvah is a mitzvah, but business is business." We all believe and we all want to do mitzvahs, big and small. The trick is to translate our inner piety into outer practice. What does my faith do for me? Does it speak to me? How does it transform my behavior, my life? Does it make any tangible difference in my everyday behavior? The Torah must not remain a theory on the drawing board. The Ten Commandments do indeed speak to us. The question is, are we listening?
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For Your Information By Chana Baila
A
re you interested in some very inexpensive, but good THERAPY? The garden departments of Home Depot, OSH, Anawalt, & some Target locations, or your local nursery will offer amazing possibilities for, as low as, $1.99! Primroses, violas, lantana, marigolds, geraniums, cosmos, poppies, zinnias, dianthus are just a few of the considerations, depending on the season. Buying a colorful, flowering plant is a pretty surefire pick-me-up when someone might be a bit down. Why do so many people buy flowers for patients in hospitals? Appreciating color, the precise form of each bud & flower, & beholding new growth each day can truly be a "shot in the arm". Just know that many of these small $1.99 varieties, with proper care, in time, will grow & become much larger, & perpetually bring delight to you, your family & visitors. Good investment, don't you think? Buy one to celebrate the good stuff, as well! Also, flowering plants, in various containers, can visually transform an entryway, courtyard, patio, or backyard into an oasis. Indoors, they will add charm to any room. Since we have just celebrated Tu B’Shvat, a great activity with children is planting. You just need to buy seeds or a small plantling, potting soil, & a large-enough plant pot. Sunflowers are very easy to grow & it is so much fun to chart the seedlings' rapid growth. Morning glories are also very easy to grow & children are usually fascinated by their closing tight, as the day comes to an end, & opening wide with the morning sun. Lambs' ears are delightful for children because they multiply quickly & they are so velvety soft to the touch. Regarding trees, in generations past, there was a custom in some Jewish communities in Europe, to plant a tree whenever a child was born. Later, when a boy & a girl grew & were to marry, "their" trees were used to fashion their Chuppah. I have a wonderful friend who has planted fruit trees in her backyard to honor the birth of each new grandchild -lemon, pomegranate, apple, orange & more. Some lovely excursions might be: Descanso Gardens, a 160 acre public garden in La Canada Flintridge, Calif., 818-949-4200 The L.A. County Arboretum, 127 acres of gardens in Arcadia, 626-821-3222 The Huntington Library, Art Collections, & Botanical Gardens, 120 acres in Pasadena, 626-405-2100 Chana Baila Burston
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PARSHAS YISRO by Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky www.torah.org Rabbi Aaron Tendler, Ner Yisroel Baltimore
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P
arshas Yisro begins by relating how impressed its namesake, Yisro, (Jethro) is upon hearing the amazing events that transpired to the nation led by his son-inlaw, Moshe. He decides to convert to Judaism. Yisro sends word to Moshe that he will soon be arriving at the Israelite camp. Yisro wants Moshe to leave his post and greet him in the desert before he arrives at the Israelite camp. The Torah tells us that Moshe did go out to greet Yisro: "the man bowed and kissed him and asked the peace of his dear one." (Exodus 18:8) Rashi is bothered by the ambiguity. "Who bowed to whom? Who kissed whom? Who was the one to make the gesture? Was it Yisro, the father-in-law, who kissed Moshe, or did Moshe, the son-in-law, leader of millions of people, run to greet his father in-law a Midianite priest, and bow and kiss him? Rashi quotes the Mechilta which refers us to Bamidbar (Numbers 12:3) where Moshe is called "the man Moshe" obviously the words, "the man bowed and kissed him" in our portion must mean that same man - Moshe. Why, however, did the Torah choose a seemingly convoluted way to tell us that Moshe prostrated himself before his fatherin-law? Would it not have been easier to tell us that "Moshe man bowed and kissed him and asked the peace of his dear one"? Why did the Torah use the words "the man" and send us to the Book of Numbers to learn who "the man" was? Last year my brother, Rabbi Zvi Kamenetzky of Chicago, tried to contact a friend who was vacationing at Schechter's Caribbean Hotel in Miami Beach, Florida. After about 15 rings, the hotel operator, an elderly woman, who worked at the hotel for three decades politely informed my brother that the man was not in the room. "Would you like to leave a message?" she inquired.
My brother pulled the receiver from his ear and stared at the mouthpiece. He composed himself and slowly began to repeat her words, quizzically. "You say that Rabbi Kamenetzky was a good friend of yours?" "Sure! Every mornin' Raabbi Kaaamenetzky would come to this here hotel to teach some sorta Bible class (It was the DafYomi.) Now my desk is about ten yards from the main entrance of the hotel. But every mornin' he made sure to come my way, nod his head, and say good mornin' to me. On his way out, he would always stop by my desk and say good-bye. Oh! Yes! He was a great Rabbi but he was even a greater man. He was a wonderful man. He was a real good friend of mine!" The Torah could have told us the narrative an easier way. It could have told us that Moshe bowed before, and kissed Yisro. It does more. It tells us that it was a man who kissed Yisro. True, it was Moshe that performed those actions. But they were not the actions of a Moses, they were the actions of a mentch! Often we attribute acts of kindness, compassion, and extra care to super-human attributes of our sages and leaders. The Torah tells us that it is the simple mentch that performs them. Inside every great leader lies "the man." Little wonder that the words "and the man Moses" that Rashi quotes from the Book of Numbers begin a verse that fits our explanation quite well. The verse reads "and the man Moses was the exceedingly humble, more than any one on the face of the earth." (Numbers 12:3) It was the man Moses, who was exceedingly humble, more than any one on the face of the earth. •
"Sure," responded Reb Zvi, "tell him that Rabbi Kamenetzky called." The woman at the other end gasped. "Raabbi Kaamenetzky?" she drawled. "Did you say you were Rabbi Kamenetzky?" She knew the name! It sounded as if she was about to follow up with a weighty question, and my brother responded in kind. "Yes." He did not know what would follow. "Why do you ask?" "Are you," asked the operator, "by any chance, related to the famous Rabbi Kamenetzky?" There was silence in Chicago. My brother could not imagine that this woman had an inkling of who his grandfather, the great sage. Dean of Mesivta Torah Voda'ath to whom thousands had flocked for advice and counsel, was. She continued. "You know, he passed away about ten years ago at the end the wintah?" She definitely had her man, thought Reb Zvi. Still in shock, he offered a subdued, "Yes, I'm a grandson." "YOOOU ARE?" she exclaimed, "well I'm sure glad to talk to ya! Cause your grandpa -- he was a real good friend of mine!"
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February 13
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One Step Back Two Steps Forward
PARSHAS MISHPATIM
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A
mong the complicated fiduciary matters that this week's portion discusses, the Torah deals with seemingly simple and mundane issues as well. The Torah talks about donkeys. Heavily laden donkeys that belong to your enemy. The Torah tells us, "if you see the donkey of someone you hate and you refrain from assisting him, you shall repeatedly help him" (Exodus 23:5). Obviously the interjected phrase "and you refrain from assisting him" begs clarification. After all, if you mustn't refrain from helping him, why mention it in the first place? Rashi explains that the words are to be read rhetorically, "Would you refrain from helping him? How can you let a personal grudge take precedence over the poor animal's pain? Surely you shall continuously help him." The Talmud (Bava Metzia 32) takes the words at face value and explains that there are actually certain situations where one must actually refrain from helping unload donkeys. I would also like to offer the verse at face value. As a youngster, I heard the following story about the great mussar luminary, Rabbi Yisrael Salanter. Rabbi Salanter was traveling by train from Salant to Vilna and was sitting in a smoking car holding a lit cigar. A young man accosted him by yelling about the putrid odor of the smoke. Other passengers were appalled. After all, they were in the smoking car. Despite that, Rabbi Salanter extinguished the cigar and opened the train's window to dissipate the fumes. It was only a few seconds before the young man slammed the window down, while screaming at the elderly sage for opening it. Rabbi Salanter apologized profusely to the man young enough to be his child, and buried himself in a Jewish book of law. Upon arriving in Vilna, the young man was horrified to see throngs of people gathered to receive one of Europe's most prominent Rabbis. The man immediately ran to the home where Rabbi Salanter was staying. He began to beg forgiveness. "Don't worry," explained Reb Yisrael, "a trip can make one edgy. I bear no ill will. Tell me," continued the mussar master, "why did you come to Vilna?" The young man explained that he was looking to become an ordained shochet, (slaughterer), and an approbation from a Vilna rabbi would be universally accepted. Rabbi Salanter smiled. "My own son-in-law, Reb Elya Lazer, can ordain you. He is a Rav in Vilna. Rest up and tomorrow you can take the test. The next day, it was apparent that the man needed more than rest, for he failed miserably. However, that did not deter Rabbi Salanter. He encouraged the man to try again. For the next several weeks, Rabbi Yisrael arranged for tutors and prepared the young man well enough to pass Reb Elya Lazer's make-up exam along with the tests of a host of other well-known Vilna rabbis. He even arranged for the man to get a job. Before leaving Vilna, the man appeared before Reb Yisrael with tears in his eyes. "Tell me, Rebbe," he cried. "I was able to understand that you could forgive me for my terrible arrogance on the train. But why did you help me so much? That, I can never understand." "Reb Yisrael sat him down, held his hand and explained. "It is easy to say 'I forgive you'. But deep down, how does one really know if he still bears a grudge? Way down in my heart I actually was not sure. The only way to remove a grudge is to take action. One who helps another develops a love for the one he aided. By helping you, I created a true love which is overwhelmingly more powerful than the words, 'I forgive you'." The Torah tells us that if you see the donkey of your enemy keeling from its burden and you want to refrain from helping, know then, that now is the time to help. The minute your feet falter, then it is time to quicken the pace, overpower your emotions and make a move. The Torah understands human nature all too well. The sub-conscience speaks very loudly and often tells us to take three steps backwards. That is the time to make a move that will heal old wounds and close open sores. Overpowering kindness will not only help ease burdens off a donkey, it will make things a lot lighter for you as well. by Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky www.torah.org Rabbi Aaron Tendler, Ner Yisroel Baltimore
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Rabbi Shalom Arush Courtesy of breslovworld.com
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I
EDUCATION
WITH
LOVE
magine this familiar scenario: Mom is in the kitchen, and her 18-month old toddler is crawling around in the kitchen, opening every drawer and pantry door. The little tike is behaving exactly like a curious, energetic, and probing little 18-month old toddler should act. Yet, mama is yelling, "don't touch this," and "don't touch that!" This is dangerous, or get out of here, etc. Every time the little guy is yelled out, his tender little soul is bruised once more. He'll grow up to disdain his mother and not listen to her altogether. Rather than all the yelling, she should put things that she doesn't want the baby to touch out of reach, or put latches on her kitchen doors and lock them. Smart parents keep a special drawer or pantry door unlocked, with safe things that the baby can play with. There's no reason to yell and criticize, especially when a small toddler can't restrain himself from his natural urge to seek and probe. Why stifle and kill the child's natural curiousity, which is so vital to his or her learning and future intellectual and emotional development? When children hear criticism after criticism, or the the brunts of parental yelling, they quickly lose their self-confidence. Just as the parents find fault in everything they do, such children will grow up with low self-images and little self-confidence. They'll be defensive, they'll have difficulty learning, and down the road will have big problems holding a job or a successful marriage. In so much of my marriage counseling, dysfunctional partners can be traced to tyrannical and critical parents. So many people with financial and job problems can also be traced to tyrannical and critical parents. They children grow up nervous and unconfident in a tough world that demands calm, self-composure, and a strong measure of self confidence to succeed. We have to avoid situations of criticism yelling and threatening at home. Here's another familiar scenario: It's 7:30 pm, the parents are tired, and they badly want some peace and quiet in the house. They put their 3 little children to bed, ages 3, 5, and 7 let's say, and turn off the lights. The children aren't tired, so they start chattering. The parents yell from the living room, or threaten the children. The kids have no intention of being misbehaved or bad, as the parents accuse them, they're just not sleepy. Rather than yelling, screaming, and threatening, take a nice children's book, sit on their bed, tell them a story, tuck them in, recite the Shma with them. Magically, by the time you finish saying Shma Yisroel,
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you'll see how drowsy the children are. They fall asleep in love and holiness, rather than entering a nightmarish night after a day of parental tyranny and criticism. You can't imagine the power of educating children with love; the love is engrained on their souls forever. This is especially true with parents that tuck their children in bed and say the Shma with them every night, and I'm talking about from day one all the way to bar and bat mitzvah. Here's one of the most moving stories that I ever heard, first hand from a holocaust survivor: At the end of the holocaust in late 1945, the holy Skulener Rebbe was one of the few survivors. After the allies liberated the concentration camps, the Skulener Rebbe went all over Poland looking for homeless and orphaned Jewish children that had been meanwhile been raised in Catholic orphanages. Accompanied by two American officers, he entered one such orphanage, and told the attending priests that he was looking for orphaned Jewish children. The two priests smirked, and answered snidely that they don't have any Jews among the 250 orphans that were packed in the overcrowded orphanage. It was about 9 pm in the evening, and the orphans, most of whom were between the ages of 6 and 12, had just gone to bed. They were all housed in one big crowded room with metal bunk beds. The Skulener Rebbe demanded to see the children, but the priests refused. One of the American officers pulled out a Smith and Wesson .45 Caliber pistol, the kind that American tank commanders wear, and said to the priest, "Do as the rabbi says!" With no choice, the priests took the Rebbe into the big dormitory hall, and the rebbe ordered them to turn out the lights. Again, the priests stammered and protested, but the American officer shut them up and made them obey. They turned off the lights, and for a moment, there was an eerie silence. All of a sudden, the Rebbe yelled from the depths of his holy soul, "Shma Yisroel, Hashem Elokenu Hashem Echad…" Children started rustling in their beds; some began to whimper and the whimper turned into a wail. One by one, they started crying out, "Mama, mama!" The Rebbe's Shma triggered memories of their mama sitting on their beds and tucking them in. The rebbe quickly turned on the lights, and darted from bed to bed identifying the Jewish children that were yelling mama. One of these children, who was eight at the time, is now a 71-year old retired man that lives in Ashdod. This is the power of education with love, of education with holiness. Long after the parents were murdered in the gas chambers, their loving influence still served as a beacon of bright light to lead their children on the right path.• FREE Tire Rotation & FREE Brake Check • FREE Tire Rotation & FREE Brake Check
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Q
Who actually owns gifts that are given to children that are minors and are supported by their parents? Is there any difference whether these gifts are money or items like candies, toys, and books? Does it make a difference whether these gifts were received from their parents, relatives, teachers, or any other person? Does the age of the minor receiving the gift make any difference at all?
Hilchos Choshen Mishpat GIFTS TO MINORS
a.
Any gifts of items that are designated for use by children, such as candies, toys, or children's books that are given to them by anyone other than their own parents, belong solely to the children, whether they are considered Halachically minors or adults (above the ages of 12 for girls and 13 for boys). However, if their own parents gave them a gift, although the children are certainly permitted to use it, it remains technically owned by the parents if the children were minors at the time of the gift. This is true as long as the gift exists. However, if the children were adults at the time that the gift was given, the gift belongs to the children, even when given by a parent.
b.
A
According to Halacha, any money received by children as a gift when they are minors, actually belongs to their father. However, if the father explicitly agrees that the money belongs to the children, it becomes theirs to do with whatever they wish. There is a disagreement among the Poskim whether money given as a gift to adult children (who are supported by their parents) belongs to their father or to them. According to the Ran and the Nimukei Yosef it belongs to the father, unless it is known that the father is happy to let the child have it. According to the Rema and the SM"A, it belongs to the child under all circumstances. If the father himself gave a monetary gift to the child, the Halacha as stated above in Answer A regarding other types of presents applies here also.
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Do We Need Faith ?
Faith is our most powerful resource. It enables your spirit to soar above and beyond the pains and difficulties of life below -- The Lubavitcher Rebbe A writer who came to meet the Rebbe asked why so many people seemed to have difficulty believing in G-d. “There may be doubts,” the Rebbe answered. “To question G-d, however, is the first indication that one believes in something. You must have some acceptance of G-d even to question Him. “But if they believe, why don’t they act on it?” the writer asked. “They are afraid of their faith,” the Rebbe replied. “They fear the demands their faith might put upon them, that they might have to forego some of their comfort, or compromise some of their ideas. They fear changing their lives.” WHAT IS FAITH AND DOES EVERYONE HAVE IT? Many people don’t see faith as a basic human faculty; they see it more as the absence of reason. Others are even more cynical, claiming that faith is a sign of weakness, something to resort to when all else fails. In earlier times, this thinking goes, faith was a necessity because man didn’t have science to help explain the laws of nature; but in the face of reason and all of man’s brilliant accomplishments, we have outgrown our need for faith. Isn’t faith just a creation of our imagination meant to deal with issues that we can’t comprehend? But we see that people inherently believe in something greater than themselves. This feeling is inside all of us; we only need to know how to access it. But how do we cultivate faith? Isn’t it something you either have or don’t? We are all born with faith. It is neither acquired nor taught; it is our most natural state. A young child, for instance, just has natural faith. But as the child grows older, he accepts less and less at face value. His faith becomes obscured by reason and he realizes that his faith has been constantly abused. After years of experiencing hypocrisy and being lied to, he learns to distrust his own inner beliefs. We cannot allow our reason to drown out the inner voice that tells us what we know to be true with every fiber in our being. We must learn to cultivate our natural faith. How do we cultivate true faith? True faith constitutes not only a belief in G-d, but a trust that G-d always does what is good and right. True
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faith does not waiver, even if things do not work out as we would have liked. Yes, we may have doubts. Yes, we may feel saddened by the neediness and suffering in the world. Yes, we may want to confront G-d for allowing tragedies. But abandoning your faith in G-d means that you are compromising yourself. When we witness suffering at the hands of other people, we should direct our anger where it belongs -- at man. If anything, war and genocide teach us that our faith in man can be misplaced, but never our faith in G-d. IS BELIEVING IN G-D NAÏVE? Many people today still have trouble believing in G-d and are plagued with questions. Is this skepticism healthy or not? Is it an honest search for the truth or a justification for self-serving behavior? For some, the first step in the search for faith might be to assure yourself that you are indeed ready to listen and grow, that you are willing to accept the responsibility of faith. The next step is dealing with your doubts concerning G-d’s existence. Then we must allow our inner voice to speak. We know there is a G-d just as we know we have a soul -- not because we can see or touch it, but because we can feel it. We feel the soul’s effects. We sense its hunger for meaning, its thirst for knowledge, and we feel satisfaction when we nourish it. We feel purpose and direction when we feel Gd in our lives; we feel there is meaning in everything we do. For a moment, stop what you are doing. Let your mind be silent, and allow yourself to hear the small, still voice of G-d. When you set yourself free, you will realize that your faith is much closer to the surface than you had imagined. ACTION Experiencing our inner faith requires fuel -- information about G-d and ourselves. Cultivate your faith through study and prayer. Actualize it through good deeds and charity. Talk about your faith with family and friends. In this climate of spiritual darkness, we all have the ability and responsibility to let our faith shine forth and then integrate it into our daily lives. This is an excerpt from “Toward a Meaningful Life – The Wisdom of the Rebbe” by Rabbi Simon Jacobson.
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Calfornia Kosher Kitchen Cheeseless Cheesecake
Ingredients
Directions
2 CONTAINER S OF T OFUTTI CREAM CHEESE (make sure to get plain and not a flavored version) 2 EGGS 1 TABLESPOON LEMON JUICE 1/2 CUP OF SUGAR 1 TEASPOON OF VANILLA R EADY TO USE GRAHAM CRACKER PIE CRUST
MIX ALL INGREDIENTS TOGETHER . EASIEST WHEN THE "CREAM CHEESE" IS FIRST MASHED WITH A
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LUMPS.
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BEFORE SERVING. ENJOY !
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A PERFECT SETTING Great gifts for all occasions- invited out for a Shabbos meal? We have the perfect gift....have a list from here till....of all the people you owe gifts? Just come in and we will take care of the baby gifts you've been meaning to give....the Bas Mitzvah girl you can't possibly figure out what would be right for her...the couple you're embarresed to greet ...its been soooo long since their wedding....the house warming gift for your friend who just moved into a new home...don't put it off..come in today and go out relieved. Call for a special appointment 323-938-8222 or 323-620-3618 ask for Rochel. -692-
AUDITIONS A TIME FOR DANCE is seeking talented and commited actresses ages 8 and up to perform in our upcoming show " THE WIZARD OF OZ". Our awesome drama program includes training in acting, singing and dancing as well as set design and more! Sunday Mornings @ 7269 Beverly Blvd. Los Angeles. Please call to schedule an audition! (323) 404-0827 -766-
Newly renovated large guest house/Office with fully tiled bathroom, rull granite top kitchen, centrally located in the La Brea/Beverly area. Private entrance, totally detached, A/C & Heating, all utilities incl., walking distance to shuls & stores. Please all: (310)735-3310 -1476.5447 -
Two bedroom guesthouse available for rent. Full Shower & bath, fully furnished with fridge. Looking for Shomer Shabbos Female. Please call:(310) 274-9758 -1428.5443 -
Seeking roommate asap. Single, Jewish female. Non smoking, responsible and friendly and clean. Seeks the same to share a lovely one bedroom one bath living dining room area full kitchen apartment also share utilities, AC, quiet building near Fairfax. Please be pet friendly I have one loving kitty. References please. No short term. Please call 323-608-8164. -1458-
REAL ESTATE FOR SALE Bev. Hills, N. of Wilshire: Newly built 4300 sq ft. Recorded Info 1-800-417-7489 ID# 7005. www.BeverlyHillsInfo.net
BABY SITTER AVAILABLE Orthodox woman available to watch your children full time or part time hours, at your location. Excellent references. call: 323-651-9389.
Bev Hills, 462 S. Swall: Sale /Lease: 2 story+ Guest House. Recorded Info 1-800-417-7489 ID# 8005. www.BevHillsHome.com
ROOMATE WANTED
COMING SOON Prime Hancock Park: 5000+sq ft, pool. Bev/La Brea, So. of Beverly: Lovely 4 bdrm, Pool, Guest House.
Orthodox man seeks same to share 2 bedroom duplex near La Brea/Beverly. $900 per month + utilities. Fully furnished. Must be non-smoker, stirctly Shomer Shabbos, neat and clean. Call Moshe: 323-9333340. If no answer please leave message. -1478-
WANTED: Fixer-Upper or Small. house for pre-approved buyer.
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FOR RENT Guest House for Rent, Beverly/La Brea. Large, Bright, Clean and Newly Remodeled, Full Bathroom, Kitchenette and Private Entrance, Shomer Shabbos $1050. Please call: (323) 687-3698
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A room for Rent in Pico Robertson area - near all shuls for Shomer Shabbos gentleman. Furnished, Private Bath, Kosher Kitchen, Swimming Pool, $750 a month (utilities included), References requested. Please call (310) 289-1217
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Want to rent an office but can't afford the whole room? Rent a cubicle in our office!!! Clean, casual business environment, no limitations on schedule - come in and out any time, All utilities are paid, no worry no hassle. Convenient location on W. 3rd & La Cienega Come take a look or any questions, please call 310-2850200. The office: $350/mo Want to rent whole room $950/mo E- mail: Interconnectcare@yahoo.com
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NEW KEHILLA Tehachapi Torah Center(ed Community): Suited for families, individuals, and existing Torah organizations. Healthy, Serene, Affordable, Child Friendly. Register interest now for coming year: Summer Camp: Torah-Nature-Sports Boys Camp, Ages 10-13. Day School, or Home School Lemudei Kodesh Co-op. Yeshiva High School for regional and out of town boys. Beis Medrash with online degree option. Sundays 11:00 AM Monthly Speaker, Brunch, Tour, Hike, Bike, House Hunt. Thursdays 1:30 PM Weekly Parsha Preview. Minyan Pending Participants, RSVP to confirm. Tehachapi Ca. 93561, 90 miles/minutes from route 14 at 5 Twice the Home for Half the Money. Priced from: Lease: Apartments $450, Houses $900. Purchase: Houses $100k, Lots 40k. Learn More! Contact: Roger M. housing and outreach committee at kernkehilla@att.net or call 310-948-5137 www.pearlmancta.com/kerncountykehilla.htm
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Looking for an education aide who is warm, responsible, to work in a Jewish day school in North Hollywood for an 8 year old boy. Special education experience preferred and or teaching experience. 11am -3 pm approx. Please call 818-251-0046 or 818-776-9552 -1446-
Fun, Frum and Fabulous. Looking for efficient sales girl with great people skills, and take charge attitude for retail sales position. Please call 323-864-2641.
SEEKING JOBS Looking to work as a Nanny experienced with newborn, toddlers, twins, etc. Please call Rivkah 818-419-9434 -1445Orthodox woman available to watch your children full time or part time hours, at your location. Excellent references. Please call: 323-651-9389. TUTORING Male tutor available for 1st-8th grades. ADD or ADHD no problem! 25 years experience in teaching and tutoring. Call (323) 930-2255. Leave a message if no one answers -1468-
TRAVELING NOTARY Yosef Y. Shagalov: Traveling Notary Public & Home Signing Agent. Cell:(323)934-7095 email: yys770@aol.com
Frum Woman Tutor. Grades 1- 8. English subjects. Please Call (323) 710-4483 -1475.5442 -
-1459-
Engagements Pinchos Vorst & Dini Braude Yitzchak Levinson & Tehilla Kossin Eliana Blinder & Yoni Lichtman Shevy Friedman & Chesky Moser Moshe Bloch & Miriam Ellenberg Leah Markovitz & Ephraim Gross Menachem Yarmush & Sima Rabinowitz Pesach Zirkind & Sarah Leah Groden Shmulik Friedman to Tzippy Levy
Weddings Ariel Spiegel to Rozy Brashevitzky Births - Girls TWIN GIRLS! Tomer and Jamie Kleinman Births - Boys Avremi & Nissa Bracha Yarmush
Email us your Mazel Tovs!!
calinks@sbcglobal.net 45
February 13
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Afshan Restaurant
RCC
Kehila
8928 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 246-1788
BerriGood
RCC
RCC
12422 Burbank. N.H, 91607 (818) 508-5557
Elite Cuisine
RCC
La Brea Bagel
OK
7119 Beverly Blvd. LA, 90036 (323) 930-1303
7308 Beverly Blvd. LA, 90036 (323) 965-1287
Falafel Express
La Gondola
Buxbaum
Kehila
1128 South Robertson Blvd. 90035 (310) 270-4663
9025 Wilshire Blvd. BH, 90211 (310) 247-1239
Bonjour
Falafel Grill
La Glatt
Kehila
Chabad
5611 Kanan R. Agoura Hills, 91301 (818) 991-8799
Bocca Steakhouse
RCC
16610 Ventura. Encino, 91436 (818) 905-5855
Bramis Pizza
RCC
17736 ShermanWay,Reseda,91326 (818) 342-0611
Café Elite
RCC
7115 Beverly Blvd. LA, 90036 (323) 936-2861
Fish Grill
Kehila
7226 Beverly Blvd. LA, 90036 (323) 930-1303
12524 Burbank Blvd N.H. 91607 (818) 763-6600
22935 Pacific Coast Highway (310) 456-8585
Mashu Mashu RCC
Glatt Hut
Chic N Chow
9303 W. Pico Blvd. 90035 (310) 246-1900
RCC
Golan
Chinese and Kabob
13075 Victory Blvd. N. H, 91606 (818) 763-5344
Cow Jumped Over The Moon
RCC
421 N Rodeo Drive, B.H. 90210 (310) 274-4269
Delice
Kehila
8581 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 289-1702
8914 W. Pico Blvd. 90035 (310) 858-1920
Habayit
Kehila
12510 Burbank Blvd. 91607 (818)752-ASIA (2742)
Metro Glatt
RCC
8975 W. Pico Blvd. 90035 (310) 275-4420
Kehila
9108 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 859-0004
Nagilla Pizza Buxbaum
RCC
8837 West Pico Blvd LA, 90035 (310) 858-8850
Milky Way RCC
Kehila
9411 West Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 788-0111
11921 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90064 (310) 479-5444
Nagilla Meating Place
Haifa
9407 West Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 788-0119
Ben Zaken
8717 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 888-7700
Kehila
Nana Cafe
Hill Street Pizza
8583 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 289-6556
Delice Bistro
RCC
Got Kosher?
433 N. Fairfax Avenue, LA, 90036 323-653-1941
RCC
Milk N Honey
9301 West Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 274-5595
RCC
Rabbi Furst
9618 W. Pico Blvd. 90035 (310) 860-1182
12526 Burbank Blvd. N.H. 91607 (818) 487-8171
Circa
La Pizza
Le Sushi
12450 Burbank Blvd. N.H, 91607 (818) 769-0085
Kehila
446 Fairfax Ave. LA, 90036 (323) 658-7730
12013 Wilshire Blvd. LA, 90025 (310) 479-1800
Café Del Mar Dairy/Meat Kehila
Kehila
RCC
12515 Burbank Blvd. N.H, 91607 (818) 760-8198
Fish In The Village
9180 Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 274-4007
February 13
Kiki’s Grill
5577 Reseda Blvd. Tarzana, 91356 (818) 345-5660
16550 Ventura, Encino, 91436 (818) 783-2727
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Ben Zaken
9340 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 278-4692
106 W. 9th St. (213) 622-1010
Bibis Warmstone
Elat Burger
RCC
RCC
1509 S Robertson Blvd. (310) 407-0404
456 S Hill St. Los Angeles, 90013 (213) 627-9990
Orange Delight
Jeffs Gourmet
13628 Ventura Blvd. SO, 91423 (818) 788-9896
Kehila
8930 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 858-8590
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Kehila
Pats
Kehila
9233 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 205-8705
Pico Cafe 8944 W Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 310-385-9592
RCC
8826 West Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 273-9381
Sassis
Kehila
Shalom Pizza
Kehila
RCC
9340 West Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 274-3474 RCC
Temptation Grill
Kehila
Shanghai
The Meating Place
Pizza Nosh
Shilohs
Kehila
Kehila
8939 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 858-1652
Smokin’
KCA
30313 Canwood St. AH, 91301 (818) 706-1255
Tierra Sur at Herzog Wineryou 3201 Camino DelSol Oxnard (805) 983-1560
Kehila
8965 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035(310) 276-8708
SushiKo
17547 Ventura B. Encino, 91316 (818) 995-4700
9401 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 553-0998
30313 Canwood St. A.H. 91301 (818) 991-3000
Kehila
8715 West Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 271-2255
140 North La Brea Blvd. 90036 (323) 857-0353 Rabbi Ami Markel
Subway 8948 W Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 274-1222
15622 Ventura, Encino, 91436 (818) 986-5345
Pico Kosher Deli
Pizza Station
Kehila
365 Fairfax Ave. LA, 90036 (310) 289-6556 Kehila
Pizza Maven
Pizza World
RCC
12514 Burbank Blvd. N.H, 91607 (818) 752-6866
Unique Cafe
Rabbi Aron Simkin
18381 Ventura Blvd. Tarzana (818) 757-3100
PICO KOSHER DELI REVIEW In today’s environment, with new eating establishments opening seemingly every month, I took the time to visit a classic LA favorite – Pico Kosher Deli – for lunch last week. I went with a few of my friends and must say that there is a reason people stand in line waiting for a table to eat there. On my suggestion, my friend from out of town ordered the “Renee’s Special”. This is one of their newer sandwiches; a healthy portion of grilled roast beef, sautéed onions, A1 steak sauce and mayonnaise served on toasted French roll. The look of pure protein bliss that this sandwich brought out was something to remember. My other friend ordered the “Turkey Club”. This double-decker turkey/grilled pastrami/mayo/lettuce on toasted challah is a great way to eat good and be able to tell your wife with a straight face that you had a turkey sandwich for lunch. Their hot pastrami is always juicy and flavorful and this can be further enhanced by squirting Russian dressing onto each bite. There are also all sorts of bargains to be found on the menu such as their burger and fries special for $7.50. Service is always quick and courteous and if you have any room after your lunch try their chocolate cake. It’s a secret that only serious chocolate lovers know about. Pico Kosher Deli is located at 8826 W Pico Blvd , LA CA 90035 . They are open from 10 am – 8:30 pm, Sun – Thurs. On Fridays they are open for Shabbos takeout only. They have a full Shabbos takeout location and have catering available. Hashgacha is provided by the RCC.
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February 13
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