January 29 - February 12, 2010
Vol. 6 Issue 148
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16 The Deaf and the Blind: When Government Fails to Notice
THE COMMUNITY LINKS is published bi-weekly and is distributed free to the Jewish Community of Southern California. THE COMMUNITY LINKS accepts no responsibility for typographical errors or reliability of Kashrus of any advertisers. All submissions become the property of THE COMMUNITY LINKS and may be shortened and/or edited for length and clarity. Articles published in THE COMMUNITY LINKS express the views of the individual writers and may not necessarily represent the views of THE COMMUNITY LINKS. No artwork or any part of the magazine may be reprinted or otherwise duplicated without the written permissions of the publisher.
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Fear grips virtually all business owners who worry if they can maintain the level of business needed to continue. Fear grips many of the employed who see many around them being laid off and worry if they are next. People are cutting back. Dr. Robert Rome
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What Does G-d Have To Do With It?
Is it possible to be spiritual and selfish at the same time? Let us have a look at the words of the Torah that shed important light on this question. Rabbi Yossy Goldman
Out Of Bounds
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The old man sighed. "Your mistake was very simple. You don't take shortcuts into muddy forests!" The activist understood the Brisker Rav's message. Rabbi Mordechai Kaminetzky Parshas Beshalach
The Rest Will Come Later He kissed my cheeks and said, "Morty, every morning when you wake up, I want you to look at the mirror and strike your heart three times. While you are striking your heart, recite, 'I was born a Jew.
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By Mordechai www.chabad.org
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The Deaf and the Blind: When Government Fails to Notice By Robert J. Rome, Ph.D.
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W
e read in the papers about an unemployment rate nationally hovering at about 10% of the workforce and somewhat higher in California. We hear commentators on the news speak of a “real” unemployment rate of about 17%, including those who have given up looking for jobs in the current marketplace. These are figures based on what our governmental leaders are stating. From where I stand (or sit at the computer), these percentages don’t begin to deal with what is actually going on in our economy where fear grips virtually all business owners who worry if they can maintain the level of business needed to continue. Fear grips many of the employed who see many around them being laid off and worry if they are next. People are cutting back. Like many of you, I operate a business, a psychology practice. My practice primarily deals with the psychological evaluation of children and adolescents. I repeatedly get asked by potential clients (parents of children who need testing) now if I can cut back on the number of tests administered in a psychological evaluation to lower the cost. Since the problem of their children may be seen to be only in reading in school, do I really have to look at visual and auditory processing, for example (any of you out there reading this article are welcome to contact me so I can explain to you how children often misuse their visual and auditory systems when reading, contributing to the errors they make)? It used to be that if the school strongly advised the parents to get their child tested that parents rushed to respond as they wanted to resolve their children’s needs as soon as possible. “Can’t we wait until next year?” is a frequent question I hear now. Before, parents would ask in their first call about what is done in a psychological evaluation. Now, in this economic situation, the first question people ask about is about price. What does an evaluation cost? How much may be reimbursed by insurance? Is this or that procedure necessary? There are certain groups not included in the 10-17% unemployment figure, a chief group being the underemployed. I practice in an area where many work in the construction field. While there are many unemployed who engaged in contracting, those I know are not unem-
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ployed, but rather they are underemployed. A contractor who previously had 4-5 kitchen jobs at a time may now have at best 1-2 jobs, with less than 50% of previous income. Jewelry store owners, as another example, have seen business cut by 50% or more, while expenses remain the same. The store owners go to work each day to do their jobs, but get only a fraction of the income they previously had. I know one person who actually has been losing money each month on the business, taking family savings to cover the losses, while waiting for better times. There is another large group that has been impacted in a different way by the economy. This group I will call “the overworked.” Those in this group are making less for each hour worked, so they have to work more hours. I talk to men and women who arrive at work at 7:00 a.m. and work continuously to 8 or 9 at night (and sometimes later). Working 60-70 hours a week, they can make nearly what they made previously. However, they are less available to their families. They stopped volunteering for the synagogue or for Scouts. They gave up leisure and leisure time expenses. With endless work, their health and mental health suffers. The society has been greatly impacted by the increasingly overworked. From how I see it, the combined rate of unemployed, underemployed, and overworked involves the majority of the community. Even those not included in these groups are impacted. The “unaffected” have to drive increased car pool as those impacted by more work hours are unavailable. Charitable organizations are seeing funds dry up, and as a result, there are fewer programs for children and teens. There are cutbacks to seniors programs. The “safety net” of programs and supports in the community is being lost. To solve a problem, you must first recognize it. If the government keeps telling us that only 10% of the community is impacted by the economic downturn, we then fail to recognize the complete scope of the problem. The problem impacts all in some major way. The problem is overwhelming. It is of a scope not seen previously in our lives. As a psychologist, I see the people who are hurting.
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Worry is everywhere. Will our children be able to go to college? This was a previously unthinkable question. Families must ask this as they find college tuition and expenses as a seeming luxury in a world where people are rationing their food to make ends meet. The cupboards are bare. I will devote a future article to some of the surprising good things that have come out of the economic crisis. People are rising to many of the challenges. There is the good. But we must come to understand the degree of difficulties faced by our neighbors and even now by ourselves to fully solve and address the large need in the community. We need to see more from our elected leaders of both parties as well. It seems that our elected leaders are deaf and blind to the current intensity of the economic impact. We also need to see more from the professionals who lead our community institutions. There needs to be a recognition of the full scope of the problem and its impact. We have to bring our heads, our talents, and our expertise together to help those in need through the crisis.
The economy is cyclical. We remain confident that just as there are down times, there will soon be up times. Though we can’t predict when these cycles will change, we are optimistic that better times lie ahead. But the world likely is to be different when times do change. We have lost retirement savings and likely will never see the retirement we envisioned. We have longed to travel. We may have to travel to nearby locations when do we later find time to vacation in better times. We have to learn to maximize the quality of the time we spend with our children as the 40 hour work week is likely to remain a thing of the past. One thing I tell those who come to see me in my psychology practice. You are not alone. This is happening to others, in fact to most others, despite our political leaders trying to tell us that only 10% are involved. When people recognize what is really happening, I am confident that they will help muster the resources needed to deal with the problems faced. Each of us is able to help those who are more greatly impacted.
We will overcome.
Robert J. Rome, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist in clinical practice in Encino, California. He can be reached at RJRome@aol.com.
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s it possible to be spiritual and selfish at the same time? Let us have a look at the words of the Torah that shed important light on this question. Vayasa Moshe et ha’am -- “Moses made the people journey from the Sea.” The great miracle had happened. The sea had split and the Egyptian army was no more. The word vayasa -- “he made [them] journey” -- implies that Moses had to force his people to move on. But why was this necessary? Why wouldn’t they move on their own? According to Rashi, the enemy was so confident of victory against the Israelites that they bedecked their horses and chariots with gold, silver, and precious jewels. These treasures were now being washed up on the seashore, and the Jews were collecting the riches. So they were in no mood to move on. But Moses said they had a date with G-d at Mount Sinai. As the nation’s leader, he had to compel them to carry on their journey. The Zohar gives a more spiritual explanation. We are taught that the Divine revelation at the Splitting of the Sea was quite an extraordinary experience. In the words of our sages, “What a simple maidservant saw at the Sea, even the great prophets were not privileged to see.” According to this mystical view, it was not the material wealth they were obsessed with, but rather the incredible spiritual delights they were experiencing. Either way, it was up to Moses to move them along to their appointment with destiny. And the question is this: If it was gold and silver that was delaying their journey to Sinai, we can well understand the need for Moses to hurry them on. But if it was the spiritual experience of inspired revelation, why move on? Why not stay there as long as possible? Surely, the more G-dly revelation the better!
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The answer is that G-d was calling. Sinai was beckoning. The entire purpose of the Exodus and all the miracles in Egypt and at the Sea was nothing more than to receive the Torah at Sinai. That was the Revelation that would give the Jewish People its unique way of life and its very raison d’etre. Sinai represents our mission, our mandate. Sinai made us G-d’s messengers on earth. However we may understand the concept of a Chosen People, it was the Sinaitic experience that made us that. Any detours or distractions from the journey to Sinai are therefore out of the question -- no matter how lofty or spiritual they might be. It comes as no great shock to learn that gold and silver is not as important as Sinai. But that spirituality, too, must take second place to Sinai, this is indeed big news. And what exactly is Sinai? Torah. And what is Torah? The will of G-d. In other words, the bottom line is: what does G-d want? How does He want us to act, to live our lives? So, the big news story here is that even the most amazing spiritual experience, the most extraordinary revelation, is not as important as doing what G-d wants us to do. It is a very important message that emerges from this one word, vayasa. It’s not what we want that counts, but what G-d wants. If we want money and diamonds, and He wants to give us His Torah, then we leave the loot and we go to Sinai. And even if it is a spiritual experience we seek, and G-d says Go to Sinai, we still go to Sinai and we leave the spiritual inspiration for another time. The following is a true story. It once happened back in the old country that late one night, a wagon driver ran into a yeshivah and cried out to the students to come out and help him. It was urgent, he said. Apparently, his wagon had overturned and his horse was stuck in a ditch and was in danger of dying. He
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needed help to get the wagon upright. It was late at night and there was no one else he could turn to, so he appealed to the yeshivah students to come to his assistance. At this point, the students’ Talmudic training kicked in and a long halachic debate ensued. Was it right to leave their Torah study for the sake of a horse? After all, is not Torah study equal to all the other mitzvot combined? On the other hand, the horse provided this Jew’s livelihood. Which takes precedence? The debate raged on and on -- and when they finally did decide to go out and help the poor man, it was too late. The horse had died. Sometimes we can get so caught up in our own spirituality that we become quite selfish. Spiritually selfish, of course, but selfish nonetheless. At the end of the day, it’s not whether we are into materialism or monotheism, money or metaphysics. The ultimate question -- and, in fact, the only question -- is: what does G-d want of me at this moment in time? Where should I be and what should I be doing right now? So if you find yourself in a quandary or on the horns of a difficult dilemma, ask yourself this very question: what would G-d want? Yes, sometimes it might be helping a horse out of a ditch. But if that is the call of the hour, then so be it. It might not be very spiritual, but it is the right thing to do. And if it’s the right thing to do, that makes it very G-dly. •
Rabbi Yossy Goldman is Senior Rabbi of the Sydenham Highlands North Shul since 1986, and president of the South African Rabbinical Association.
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fB to Ou
Rashi explains that this refers to the t'chum Shabbos, a Shabbos ordinance that confines one's boundaries under certain settings to 2,000 cubits from the initial point of origin. One cannot walk farther than that distance on Shabbos. Though this is not the forum for a discussion of the intricate laws of Sabbath borders, including certain limitations to the restrictions, one basic question arises: There are many intricate laws regarding Shabbos activities. None were yet mentioned. Why discuss the concept of confinement to an approximate one-mile radius before the Jews learned about the most basic prohibitions of the Sabbath such as lighting new fires or carrying in the public domain? In fact, this law of t'chum does not carry the severe penalties associated with other transgression. Why, then, is it the first Shabbos law that is introduced? Once a religious man came to the Brisker Rav, Rav Yitzchok Zev Soleveitchik, and asked him whether he should join a certain organization comprised of people whose views were antithetical to Torah philosophy. Well intentioned, the man felt that his association would perhaps sway the opinions of the antagonists and create harmony among the factions. He would be able to attend meetings and raise his voice in support of Torah outlook. The Rav advised him not to get involved. The man unfortunately decided to ignore the advice. Within a few months, he was in a quagmire, because policies and actions of the theologically-skewed organization were being linked to him, and were creating animus toward him throughout the community. For some reason he could not back out of his commitments to the organization. He was torn. How could he regain his reputation as a Torah observing Jew and ingratiate himself to his former community? He returned to
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the Brisker Rav and asked him once again for his advice. The Rav told him the following story. There was a young man who aspired to become a wagon driver. He approached a seasoned wagoneer and began his training. After a few weeks, he was ready to be certified.
s nd ou
In this week's parsha the B'nai Yisrael are given the manna. It falls every day from Heaven - except on the Sabbath. The Jews may not collect it on the Sabbath and thus a double portion falls from heaven on Friday. "See that Hashem has given you the Sabbath; that is why He gives you on the sixth day a two-day portion of bread." In addition the Torah proscribes the Jews from traveling distances on the Shabbos. "Let every man remain in his place; let no man leave his place on the seventh day" (Exodus 16:29).
Before receiving an official certification the veteran decided to pose a few practical applications.
"Let's say," he asked his young charge, "that you decide to take a shortcut and deviate from the main highway. You cut through a forest on a very muddy trail. Your wheels become stuck in the mud and your two passengers become agitated. The horses are struggling to pull out of the mud. They can't seem to get out. What do you do?" The young driver looked up in thought. "Well," he began, "first I would take some wooden planks and try to get them under the wheels. "Ah!" sighed the old timer, "you made a terrible mistake!" "Why?" retorted the neophyte driver, "I followed procedure in the precise manner! What did I do wrong?" The old man sighed. "Your mistake was very simple. You don't take shortcuts into muddy forests!" The activist understood the Brisker Rav's message. Rav Moshe Feinstein of blessed memory explains that before the Jews were even given the laws of Shabbos they were taught an even more important lesson in life. Before you can embark on life's journeys and even approach the holy Shabbos, you must know your boundaries. So before discussing the details of what you can or can not do on Shabbos, the Torah tells us where we can and cannot go on Shabbos. Sometimes, keeping within a proper environment is more primary than rules of order. Because it is worthless to attempt to venture into greatness when you are walking out of your domain. •
PARSHAS BESHALACH by Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky www.torah.org
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I
n Russia, 1967, after some thirty years without possessing a siddur, a prayer-book, my grandfather, Lev ben Moshe Halevi, was fortunate to purchase one for $180 dollars, his entire lifesavings. The Communists had banned the use of prayer-books and all other religious articles. My mother, ten years old at the time, still remembers how her family struggled financially the next two years. Yet that lone blue siddur became the fulcrum of our family and community life, and was used daily for the next twenty-five years. My grandfather would go to the park and pray; upon returning, he'd hand the siddur to my grandmother, and she'd leave to the park and pray. Then she'd pass the precious book to the neighbors and they'd go to the secluded spot and pray. Each Shabbat, the siddur was used by fifty people, one by one. Luckily, no one was caught. When my grandfather passed away, my mother gave this beautiful siddur to me. It is one of my most priceless possessions. I do not yet know how to pray from it, as it has no vowels, Russian or English translations, but I am learning. My family's story is a difficult one. Both my parents are children of survivors of the Rîbniţa Ghetto. The Romanian forces ordered my paternal great-grandfather to dig his own grave, and then shot him. My grandfather, eleven years old, was forced to bury his wounded father lest they murder his mother, sisters, brothers and cousins. Until this day, he has nightmares. When I was five years old, my maternal grandfather sat me down upon his lap and said, "Morty [my Russian name is Maksim and Hebrew name, Mordechai], I am going to tell you a
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secret. Do not tell it to your mama and papa, or to your brother. It is a secret just for you, and only you." Being a five-year-old, I was extremely excited. Amazingly, I kept the secret until I came to the USA. I was too afraid to tell anyone, as I was pushed around in school for being a Jew. He continued, "Morty, I will teach you the holy Torah, the sacred scroll of our people passed from generation to generation. Those who know it lead happy lives filled with mitzvot that only the bravest knights undertake. Those who don't are lost in the enchanted forest in search of the knights." He then paused and continued, "Do you want to know the secret?" "Yes, Grandpa, I do," I replied with unrestrained excitement. He then declared, "Will you keep this a secret until you feel ready to express it?" I assured him that I would. He kissed my cheeks and said, "Morty, every morning when you wake up, I want you to look at the mirror and strike your heart three times. While you are striking your heart, recite, 'I was born a Jew [strike heart]; I was raised a Jew [strike heart]; and I will die a Jew [strike heart]. When you finish, I want you to raise your hands towards the sky and proclaim, 'And the rest will come later.' When you go to bed, I want you to cover your eyes and repeat the same routine." After making sure that I understood, he said, "This is the Torah of our people." We shook hands, kissed and hugged each other, and the deal was sealed. Every day (and I still do it to this day), I would practice my grandfather's routine without thinking twice.
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When I came to the USA, I went to the Jewish day school in my city. My parents worked three jobs each to afford the tuition, but they never complained. However, though I went to the Jewish day school, I was often absent from my Jewish classes in order to study ESL. So I went through three years of Jewish day school and learned close to nothing about Judaism. One day, my ESL teacher got sick, so I joined the Torah class. I was totally lost and not paying much attention. The rabbi realized my mind was elsewhere, so he called on me and said, "Mordechai, do you already know the Torah? Is that why you aren't listening? You hardly come to my class… at least now, take advantage of the opportunity, and learn Torah with us." I looked at him and said, "Rabbi, I know the Torah like I know the back of my hand. I've been reciting the Torah for the last seven years, twice a day." The rabbi responded, "Really, tzaddik? Why don't you do it right now?" I stood up, adjusted my shirt, and began to reveal the "secret" my grandpa taught me. Needless to say, the students began to laugh, but the rabbi was stunned. He asked me to repeat it, and I did. By this time, the students were laughing their hearts out. I started to cry. I felt that they were making fun of the holy Torah. The rabbi asked the class for silence, and instructed me to repeat the routine again. Through my tears, I saw the rabbi approach me. He hugged me and said, "Mordechai, when do you say this? And why do you say it like this?" "This is how Jews recite the Torah," I said. He replied, "No, Mordechai only the brave Jew recites the Torah like this." I went home later that day, and I asked my grandpa to explain the Torah he taught me all those years ago. After explaining what has transpired in school, my grandpa placed me before a large mirror and said, "Morty, look at the mirror and tell me what you see." "Myself," was the reply. He said, "Look. What is on your head?" I looked up, saw my kippa, the skullcap I'd forgotten to remove after the Torah class. "Morty, how many times were you beaten up for being a Jew?"
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"Three." "How many times were you hospitalized because of your injuries?" "Twice," I said, recalling the stitches I received when a a piece of iron was thrown at my head and a rock at my knee cap. He kissed me and replied, "Morty, every day you strike your chest indicating that they - the anti-Semites - may break your bones, but your heart will always beat for G-d."
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He continued, "How many times have you heard that Communism, Socialism, Liberalism, Capitalism, Christianity or Islam is better than Judaism? By covering your eyes at night, you are indicating that the nations may blind you with their philosophies, but at the end of the day your sight will always be aimed towards G-d. And as for your hands raised to the sky, if you don't understand this now, you will know when the right time comes. For the rest will come later." Armed with new knowledge, I went back to the rabbi and told him everything. He said, "Mordechai, you know more Torah at 12 than I know at 28, and I studied in Jewish schools all of my life." After graduating the day school, I went to public school. Since I knew almost nothing about Judaism, I simply put it on hiatus. It was only two years ago that I slowly started to return to Judaism. Now, thank G d, I pray three times a day, wear my kippa always, and keep the Shabbat. I may not yet study Mishnah or Gemara, but I know Jewish and Israeli history, philosophy, and Jewish Eastern European literature (I even teach it). And as for the rest – "the rest will come later." My grandfather's words ring true. •
By Mordechai Courtesy of chabad.org
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T
he Jewish judicial system was brought into existence after Moshe's father-in-law Yisro criticized the system he felt was wrought with confusion and delay. In that system, Moshe bore the brunt of every minor complaint and grievance. He ruled on everything, and it was too much for him. His father-in-law would no longer allow
it.
"What you are doing is no good." cried Yisro. "You and the entire nation will wither from exhaustion." (Exodus 18:17) Yisro devised a plan in which judges were appointed on many levels. The simple cases would be presented to the lower judges, and the more difficult cases would work their way up the system until they finally reached Moshe. It was a workable plan that was received enthusiastically by Moshe and the leadership. It was the foundation for every judicial system from that time on. Yisro ends his ingenious instruction with a blessing and an assurance. "If you do this thing -- with G-d's consent, then you will endure and the entire nation will arrive at their place in peace." (Exodus 18:23) They are very encouraging words. But they are difficult to relate to. What does expedient adjudication have to do with arriving at one's destination or finding one's place? What could Yisro mean by stating that if you mete out justice everyone will arrive at his place in peace? He should have said, "and the entire nation will live together in peace." The words "arrive at his place in peace" seem to have little meaning. Rabbi Chaim Kreisworth, the Chief Rabbi of Antwerp, Belgium, tells of a member of his congregation who approached him obviously quite upset. "Rabbi," he exclaimed, "I just don't understand." My friend Yankel and I began businesses of the same type at approximately the same time. He is doing remarkably well, while I am just floundering!." "Are you working as hard as he is?" Rabbi Kreisworth asked. "I sure am!" came the reply. "My place is right down the block from his, and I never close my shop until I see his car pull away!" "Perhaps he has more employees?" "Can't be. I checked with his manager, and I have recently added two more than he has!" "Perhaps the decor of his store is more attractive to consumers?" "It just can't be that, Rabbi. He remodeled last year, I checked the lighting, square footage, display cases -- and on each count I outdid him when I remodeled a month later!"
One of the Jewish people's greatest assets is their ability to watch their own place. "How glorious are your tents, Jacob" is a reference to the dessert tents whose doorways did not face each other. When Jews argue and there is no justice, each one looks at the other: "what is he doing with my money?" However, when quick and fair justice is meted, each party can go home satisfied and ready to proceed with their own life. Yisro stated it with an exact certainty "and the entire nation will arrive at their place in peace." If you have justice then everyone will truly arrive at his place in peace. No one will be interested in someone else's place! And in that manner they all can find a place in peace. •
PARSHAS YISRO by Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky
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No Justice No Place
At this point Rabbi Kreisworth smiled, "I have it all figured out. The reason Yankel is doing so much better than you is because he is only concerned in running his business. You, my friend, are running two! If you would just stay in your own place, you will also become a success."
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NOT SEEING EYE TO EYE LIVING A JEWISH LIFE ... ....WHEN YOUR HUSBAND ISN'T INTERESTED
by Lori Averick
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A
lmost six years ago I attended my first Torah class. The connection, for me, was immediate. I felt as if all the questions I had been pondering for most of my life had answers, and they were all contained inside the pages of the Torah. I was so excited I could hardly contain myself, and who better to share all of this with than my husband? When I began telling him Torah stories, his reaction was not what I would have wanted. He said that he was just not interested. Well, clearly he must have misunderstood me. "How could you not be interested?" I would say, "This is all about our ancestry." I ignored his protest, knowing full well I would try a different approach at a later date. So as my learning intensified and expanded, I began to teach the meaning behind the Torah stories, explaining that the Torah is not a history book, rather it's an instruction manual offering us timeless lessons of how we are supposed to get the most out of our lives. This approach also failed miserably (since, as any woman knows, you should never give a man instructions on how to drive around the corner- let alone how to live his entire life). This pattern continued for months and months. All the while, I had rabbis and rebbetzins from Pennsylvania to Israel giving me advice on the situation. The commonly held opinion was as follows: Don't pressure him. Just continue to grow and evolve into the best person and wife you can possibly be. When he sees how happy you are and what a better person you've become, he'll want to come along. So I tried this approach, and incorporated Shabbat dinners both at home and with other families in the community. I cooked like I had never cooked before, and our social life boomed. Still, he was just not interested. I even managed to get him to travel on a mission to Israel with other couples from our community. At times it seemed like there may be some progress. However, within no time, he would pull back and reinstate his claim of disinterest. Within a few years, we moved to a new home. While the move was great for our family for practical reasons- my kids were closer to school and my husband was closer to work- it also placed us smack in the middle of the religious community. Now, not only did my husband have a wife who wanted him to grow spiritually, but he was also surrounded by people who held these same beliefs and practices. As our household observances increased, so did the ten-
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sion between me and my husband. How could this be? I couldn't understand how growing closer to something so positive and meaningful could cause such stress for my husband. I thought I was following the advice of those many sage rabbis and rebbetzins who all but assured me that as long as I continued to grow in a positive way he would soon join me on my journey. Well, it wasn't happening. As a matter of fact, his original commentary -stating 'I'm not interested'- had actually taken on a much more negative tone and seemed to be heading towards resentment. In recent months I began to take a closer look at the situation. I had to acknowledge that since my husband was clearly not on this journey then it would seem likely that the difficulty I was having had to be a challenge tailor made for me. I felt certain that only I could possibly have the solution to this problem, and I was determined to figure out what I had been doing wrong. As I took an honest accounting of the past six years, I began to see where I went astray. First, when my husband told me for the first time that he wasn't interested in Torah, I should have kept my mouth shut. Instead, I tried at every possible turn to show him the way—my way. I should have thanked him for supporting my decision to learn and grow through Torah, and I should have ended the discussion there. Second, was I really showing my husband all the positive things a Torah life had to offer? While my journey has been undoubtedly life-changing and enlightening for me, was my husband the recipient of all these changes in only a positive way? The answer to this question is a resounding no. Sure my friends and family have seen me become a more patient, kinder version of myself, but more prominent from my husband's point of view were all the negative changes our lives have undergone. For example, we left a house he loved to move to a more religious neighborhood and into a house where he is now required to use different silverware for meat and dairy; and as for those fun Shabbat dinners? They were now part of a 25 hour Shabbat experience which he did not want to participate in. Our social lives rarely ventured outside the community that I had created for us, and though I hate to admit it, it is so obvious that there was not much fun in it for him. This conclusion took some time for me to reach, but the moment I was actually able to accept and internalize the reality of our situation is the moment when I began to see some improvements. After acknowledging the con-
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cessions my husband had actually made, I was able to begin to show him that I appreciated his sacrifices. I had spent so much time focusing on how much he wasn't doing, that I was never happy with what he was doing. Torah teaches us "Who is the rich man? He who is happy with his lot." I had been learning Torah for years, and yet I was obviously not living it. If I wasn't living it, how could I expect my husband to have any desire to join me on my journey? While not much has changed with our situation on the outside, the inside looks dramatically different. I have finally become the more evolved, kinder person I had thought I had been all along. My patience for my situation is greater, and my reactions to things that don't go my way are much better. I have a deeper understanding of what I need to do to ensure shalom bayit (harmony in the home), and I am committed to doing it. I feel more confident that with these modifications in place my husband will come to appreciate the journey I have chosen for myself and feel more comfortable with his part in it- whatever that may be. •
We offer counseling for: Domestic Violence/Anger Management Groups
Lori Averick lives in Merion, Pa. with her husband Brett and three children; Brooke, Noah and Gabrielle. Lori enjoys Torah study and participates regularly in local classes.
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COMMERCIAL AIRLINE LANDS AFTER PRAYER BOX SCARE PHILADELPHIA: While flying to Kentucky to visit his grandmother, a teenager began the morning prayer ritual expected of Orthodox Jewish men by strapping small leather boxes to his forehead and arm. But to an attendant on US Airways Express Flight 3079, the sight of a young man attaching what looked like black cubes and wires to his body was so alarming that she alerted the pilot. The boxes, called tefillin, held only prayers, but the Louisville-bound plane was diverted nonetheless to Philadelphia International Airport. Tefillin are ''something that the average person is not going to see very often, if ever'', an FBI spokesman, J.J. Klaver, said. Leaders of several Jewish organisations said the airline had acted appropriately in view of renewed anxiety over terrorism. ''In a period of heightened tension, there's going to be overreaction,'' said Marc Stern, co-executive director of the American Jewish Congress in Washington. ''I don't see anything anti-Semitic in this.'' Federal and city law enforcement officials briefly questioned 17-year-old Caleb Leibowitz and his 16-year-old sister, high school students from White Plains, New York, before allowing them to resume their flight. They said that the teen, who was wearing a yarmulke, was ''co-operative'' during his brief interrogation, but that the flight attendant ''did not receive a clear response'' when she first asked about the boxes. The Transportation Safety Administration initially described Caleb as an ''unruly passenger'', but a man who had sat behind him told the Louisville Courier-Journal that the boy had answered the attendant quietly and that there had been no panic. Caleb's father said he was proud of his son for observing his faith and that he thought federal marshals had handled the situation too aggressively. ''Adults have to recognise that when you're dealing with children you have to be gentle,'' Glen Leibowitz said. Looking upset, Caleb and his sister declined to speak to reporters. Their father described his son as ''internally strong'' but said his daughter, whose first name he declined to give, had been ''very upset out of concern'' for her brother. ''It got sorted out in a few minutes,'' Mr Leibowitz said. He said he had donned tefillin, also called phylacteries, at airports and on trains and on planes and had never been harassed. His son, he said, probably had not expected it would create any anxiety. Courtesy of Philadelphia Inquirer
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Calfornia Kosher Kitchen
Rice Pudding
Engagements Dovie Brown & Kayla Pinson Esti Gruman & Eli Newmark Maya Albert & Josh Berger Rochele Gluck & Michoel Vago Ariella Cohen & Chaim Adelman Penina Deutsch & Ahron Weiner Danielle Finder & Yakov Weis Ayala Lange & Moshe Levenberg Mina Moskovitz & Adam Hyman
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Births - Boys Tova & Eli Bryski Rochel & Zalmy Hecht Rivka and Ami Lock
Ingredients • 2 cups water • 1 cup Arborio rice • 3 cups vanilla soy milk • 1/4 cup sugar • Pinch salt • 1 cinnamon stick • 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract • 1/2 tespoon ground cinnamon + more for dusting • 1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg • 2 T plus 2 teaspoons sweetened condensed milk
Directions
Births - Girls Racheli & Dov Muchnik Devorah Leah & Shlomo Frosburg Molly & David Schlussel
Send us your mazel tovs to info@communitylinks.info
FRIDAY, JANUARY 29, 2010 Light Candles at: 5:02 pm •••
Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F. Bring the water to a boil in a medium sized, heavy, ovenproof saucepan. Add the rice, cover, and simmer for 20 minutes, until rice is nearly cooked. In a large bowl, whisk the soymilk, sugar, and salt. When the rice is cooked and still hot, add the soymilk mixture and cinnamon stick. Cover, place in the oven and cook for 45 minutes. Remove from the oven, uncover, and remove the cinnamon stick. Stir in the vanilla, cinnamon and nutmeg. Pudding will be slightly liquidy; the liquid will continue to absorb into the rice and thicken as the pudding cools. Distribute among 8 bowls, drizzle each with 1 teaspoon of the condensed milk. Dust with cinnamon and nutmeg, if desired. Serve warm or at room temperature.
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 5, 2010 Light Candles at: 5:09 pm •••
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2010 Light Candles at: 5:16 pm
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1. Wording on Glenlivet lable missing. 2. The pen in the guys pocket is gone. 3. The Lubavitcher Rebbe’s picture in the girls’ hand is flipped. 4. Tag and paper in the blue purse on the table are missing. 5. One of the stripes on the Talis is gone. 6. Woman in the back is no longer there. 7. Tie on man standing up is a different color. 8. One of the cups on the table is missing. 9. One of the side of the crown is missing. 10. The cap of the Glenlivet bottle is a different color.
qq qq qq qq qq CHANGES KEEP SCORE
10
Double Take your pictures! Please email us your event pictures to info@communitylinks.info Sunday, December 13th, 2009. The Ferszt family completed writing a Sefer Torah in honor of their father, David ben Moshe Yehushua Ferszt, z”l.
FERSZT FAMILY SEFER TORAH DEDICATION
Can you spot the differences in these two pictures?
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(323) 404-0827
-766-
Parenting Group Parenting Group for Women with Young Children Based on the Teachings of the Lubavitcher Rebbe. EVERY WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON at 1:00 7114 Rosewood Avenue (between La Brea and Detroit)
-1438-
DRESS MAKER
Jan. 29, 2010
Parenting With Wisdom
for all your simchas and special events. For more info Please call Eli Stiefel
MENDELS@GMAIL.COM
44
WORKSHOPS/CLASSES
www.expertmohel.com
Call anytime for an appt.
Sofer Coming from Israel to LA!!! Ten used kosher sefer Torahs with Kashrus certificates for Sale. Also available for repairs. New or used Torahs for sale. Please Call 718-560-3031 www.t-stam.com
WORKSHOPS/CLASSES
Drum Lessons
-1452-
-1540-
Robin Schultz Ackerman
MUSIC LESSONS
For more information, please call Ariel Louk: Cell: 323-997-2647 Tel: 310-659-9346
loukmusic@sbglobal.net
Are you Unemployed and collecting Unemployment Benefits? FULL Financial Aid is available to unemployed individuals. Receive career training at NO COST to YOU. These funds are available through President Obama’s Economic Stimulus Package. Act now while funds are available. Los Angeles ORT Technical Institute has several Nationally Accredited Career Training Programs. Please call 323-966-5444. Ask for Flora or Jesse. -784www.LAORT.edu
for more information call Miriam at 323-964-9767 or e-mail: jhw29@aol.com
TUTORING
HEBREW TUTORING Hebrew tutoring available for all ages. From beginners to advanced. We can help you fully understand and speak Hebrew. Available in the La Brea / Hancock Park neighborhood. References available on request. For more information Please call Sara at
818.968.5346.
800.998.2678
• T O A D V E R T I S E P L E A S E C A L L 323-965-1544 •
info@communitylinks.info
CLASSIFIEDS REAL ESTATE
EMPLOYMENT
EMPLOYMENT
COMMUNITY
BABYSITTER AVAILABLE
BOOKKEEPING For all your bookkeeping needs call Raizy Grossman @ 310-279-2139
-1404-
-1231-
3 BEDROOM CONDOS FOR LEASE
Near Pico/Beverly Drive, double entry door, granite kitchen, stainless steel appliances, washer/dryer, 2 full & 1 guest bathroom, master bedroom/master bathroom/walk in closet. Exotic bamboo floors, central AC, elevator, fitness room, subterranean parking, intercom. Built in 2008. 2 weeks free with one year lease. Call Daniel @
310 925 -9972 FOR RENT Pico/Robertson. Bright 1 Bedroom, new wood floors, new double stainless steel sink, sunny balcony. Walk to all. Call 310-210-3038 Marjorie@MillerRealEstateSales.com APARTMENT FOR RENT Pico/Robertson area, lower 1 bed & 1 bath, newly remodeled kitchen & bath w/ Granite,parking, laundry facilities, no pets, 1 yr lease $1100 Call Hylda 310-657-6990
MOVING SALE Sofa, wicker table with matching wicker mirror, Dresser, Lamps, various art works, and miscellaneous items. Please call 310-859-1121 or 424-288-0308
ROOMATE WANTED Young male wants male roomies.3bd/3bth townhouse @Coldwater/Victory. New paint/remodeled. Near Kosher food & shuls.Call Boruch (818)426-8145
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Jan. 29, 2010
Tehachapi Torah Center(ed Community) Welcomes 'The Open Yeshiva Yeshiva Ateret Tzvi'. For a schedule of Shiurim call Reb Hershy at 661.8230758. Healthy, Serene, Affordable, Child Friendly. Suited for families, individuals, & other existing Torah organizations. Prime 18 acre Torah campus in development. One can participate in Mikvah building now. Winter/Spring schedule: Weekly Parsha Preview, Monthly Women's Rosh Hodesh Party, TU B'Shevat Hike, Purim Program, Pessach Minyan. Register now for: Minyan, Lemudai Kodesh Co-op, Summer Camp. Tehachapi Ca. 93561, 90 miles/minutes from route 14 at 5. Priced From: Houses $97,500. Lots $20,000. Build to suit $100SF. Apartments $650, Houses $850, Rooms $425.Learn More! Contact Roger M. RMPCTA@aol.com 310-948-5137 www.pearlmancta.com/ kerncountykehilla.htm
ROOM FOR RENT One very large room for rent with private bathroom, separate entrance, parking, kosher kithchen, laundry and utilities included in the La Brea area. Please email me at chayalechtich@yahoo.com OFFICE SPACE FOR RENT Furnished office space for rent in quiet Pico/Robertson area …. Various offices -private and shared space available. Lease includes furnished office space with storage, use of conference rooms and break room amenities. Ancillary services available by arrangement. abrown@thenesscenter.org or 310-360-8512
Orthodox woman available to watch your children full time or part-time hours, at your location. Excellent references. 323-6519389 SALES PERSON WANTED
Excellent Opportunity for highly motivated sales person to work for growing business. Create your own hours. Work from home. For further information please email us at info@community links.info Ref #1980
JOB OPPORTUNITY Administrative Assistant for Unique Job Opportunity Looking for someone dedicated, reliable, long-term, and motivated to perform all administrative duties. Will work one-on-one with owner. Job description: - Computer skills a must: MS Word/Excel, QuickBooks, basic Photoshop skills. Must be able to solve minor computer issues - Digital Photography - Answering phones, setting up appointments, greeting clients - Shipping - Managing website - 40 hours a week. The right person must be very organized, detail oriented, a good problem solver, with excellent written and verbal communication skills. This is a full-time job in downtown Los Angeles. Please send a resume and a brief email telling us about yourself to adminjob523@gmail.com Salary: $13/hr and parking. Additional opportunity to earn more based on a job welldone.
TEACHER WANTED Wanted responsible teacher to homeschool 10 year old boy. Previous experience required. Please call 818-7081989 or 818-355-3789
Salesman Wanted Experienced salesman wanted in home furnishing business in the Pico/Robertson area. Full time, salery + Commission. Please call 310-877-5555
EMPLOYMENT Recession-Proof Careers In just 8 months we will train you in a recession-proof career, and help you find an exciting job in: • Pharmacy Technician • Medical Assistant • Medical Office Management • Accounting • Administrative Assistant • Business Management • Computer Graphics & Desktop Publishing • Computer Aided Design & Drafting (Auto Cad) Call Los Angeles ORT Technical Institute 1-800998-2678 LA ORT is Non-Profit organization. Financial Aid, Scholarship and Transportation assistance are available. Mid-Wilshire: 6435 Wilshire BL, Los Angeles CA 90048 Valley: 14519 Sylvan ST, Van 91411 Nuys CA
-784-
REAL ESTATE
www.LAORT.edu
Advertising Deadline:
February 5, 2010 Circulation Deadline:
February 12, 2010 Please call
323.965.1544 or email us at
info@communitylinks.info
PART TIME SECRETARY / TELEMARKETER WANTED Looking for a part time secretary. General office duties. Must be williing to also make marketing sales calls. Please call 310.402.4225
• T O A D V E R T I S E P L E A S E C A L L 323-965-1544 •
info@communitylinks.info
Dining Guide Listing Please Call 323-965-1544
DINING GUIDE
MEAT Afshan Restaurant RCC 106 W. 9th St. LA, (213) 622-1010
Jeffs Gourmet Kehila 8930 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 858-8590
Bocca Steakhouse RCC 16610 Ventura. Encino, 91436 (818) 905-5855
Kosher Chicks RCC 186081/2Ventura Blvd. Tarzana, 91356 (818) 343-8800
Café Del Mar Dairy/Meat Kehila 12526 Burbank Blvd. N.H. 91607 (818) 487-8171 Chic N Chow Kehila 9301 West Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 274-5595 Chinese and Kabob Kehila 9180 Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 274-4007 Circa RCC 433 N. Fairfax Avenue, LA, 90036 323-653-1941 Cohen’s Restaurant RCC 316 E Pico Blvd # F LA, CA 90015 (213) 742-8888 Delice Bistro Kehila 8581 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 289-1702
Falafel Grill Chabad 5611 Kanan R. Agoura Hills, 91301 (818) 991-8799 Glatt Hut RCC 9303 W. Pico Blvd. 90035 (310) 246-1900
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Jan. 29, 2010
Metro Glatt RCC 8975 W. Pico Blvd. 90035 (310) 275-4420
Bibis Warmstone Kehila 8928 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 246-1788
Nagilla Meating Place Kehila 9407 West Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 788-0119
Bramis Pizza
Pita Way RCC 8532 Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 652-5236 Sassis Kehila 15622 Ventura, Encino, 91436 (818) 986-5345 Shanghai Kehila 9401 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 553-0998
Golan RCC 13075 Victory Blvd. N. H, 91606 (818) 763-5344
Haifa Ben Zaken 8717 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 888-7700
Beverly Cafe Elite RCC 7113 Beverly Blvd. LA, 90035 (323) 931-3563
Pico Kosher Deli RCC 8826 West Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 273-9381
Falafel Express Bukstan 5577 Reseda Blvd. Tarzana, 9135 (818) 345-5660
Habayit Bukstan 11921 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90064 (310) 479-5444
Mashu Mashu RCC 12510 Burbank Blvd. 91607 (818)752-ASIA (2742)
Shilohs Kehila 8939 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 858-1652 Subway Kehila 8948 W Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 274-1222 Sunrise RCC 9216 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 786-8282 Temptation Grill Kehila 17547 Ventura B. Encino, 91316 (818) 995-4700
Milky Way Kehila 9108 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 859-0004
ou
Nagilla Pizza Kehila 9411 West Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 788-0111
DAIRY Beverly Elite Cafe RCC 7115 Beverly Blvd. LA, 90036 (323) 936-2861
Pats Kehila 9233 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 205-8705
Elite Cuisine RCC 7119 Beverly Blvd. LA, 90036 (323) 930-1303
Tierra Sur at Herzog Winery 3201 Camino DelSol Oxnard (805) 983-1560
La Glatt RCC 446 Fairfax Ave. LA, 90036 (323) 658-7730
Orange Delight Kehila 13628 Ventura Blvd. SO, 91423 (818) 788-9896
Elat Burger Ben Zaken 9340 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 278-4692
Got Kosher? RCC 8914 W. Pico Blvd. 90035 (310) 858-1920
La Gondola Kehila 9025 Wilshire Blvd. BH, 90211 (310) 247-1239
The Meating Place KCA 30313 Canwood St. AH, 91301 (818) 706-1255
Nana Cafe RCC 1509 S Robertson Blvd. (310) 407-0404 Pico Cafe Kehila 8944 W Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 310-385-9592 Pizza Maven Kehila 140 North La Brea Blvd. 90036 (323) 857-0353
RCC
17736 ShermanWay, Reseda 91326
Pizza Nosh Rabbi Ami Markel 30313 Canwood St. A.H. 91301 (818) 991-3000
(818) 342-0611 Circa RCC 8622 W Pico Blvd, Los Angeles (310) 854-0592 Cow Jumped Over The Moon
Kehila
421 N Rodeo Drive, B.H. 90210 (310) 274-4269 Delice Kehila 8583 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 289-6556 Fish Grill Kehila 7226 Beverly Blvd. LA, 90036 (323) 937-7162 12013 Wilshire Blvd. LA, 90025 (310) 479-1800 9618 W. Pico Blvd. 90035 (310) 860-1182 22935 Pacific Coast Highway (310) 456-8585
Pizza Station Kehila 8965 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 276-8708 Pizza World Kehila 365 Fairfax Ave. LA, 90036 (323) 653-2896 Sassis Sushi Kehila 16550 Ventura, Encino, 91436 (818) 783-2727 Shalom Pizza RCC 8715 West Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 271-2255 Unique Cafe Rabbi Aron Simkin 18381 Ventura Blvd. Tarzana (818) 757-3100
PAREVE
Jerusalem Pizza Kehila 17942 Ventura Blvd. Encino, CA 91316
(818) 758-9595 La Brea Bagel Kehilla 7308 Beverly Blvd. LA, 90036 (323) 965-1287 La Pizza Rabbi Furst 12515 Burbank Blvd. N.H, 91607 (818) 760-8198 Milk N Honey RCC 8837 West Pico Blvd LA, 90035 (310) 858-8850
• T O A D V E R T I S E P L E A S E C A L L 323-965-1544 •
Fish In The Village RCC 12450 Burbank Blvd. N.H, 91607 (818) 769-0085 Le Sushi 12524 Burbank Blvd N.H. 91607 (818) 763-6600 SushiKo RCC 9340 West Pico Blvd. LA, 90035 (310) 274-3474
info@communitylinks.info
REASONS TO CONSIDER A LIFE SETTLEMENT • Policy has not performed as anticipated • Need for cash flow • Beneficiary is now deceased • Premiums too costly • A change in estate size • A desire to purchase a survivorship policy • Changes in Estate Tax laws
If you are over age 70, we can show you how your life insurance policy might pay off now, while you are alive and still here to enjoy it! What’s more, you may be able to sell your policy for considerably more than its cash surrender value.
Busines Changes: • Buy/Sell funding is no longer required • Business is sold • Changes in deferred compensation benefits • Bankruptcy proceedings
C A S E S T U DY INSURED: Type of Policy: Face Amount: Cash Surender Value: Offer price to policy owner: Reason:
81 year old male Universal Life $5,000,000 $0 $860,000 Premiums of in-force policy were expensive and becoming difficult to afford. The insured no longer needed the policy and sold it for a sum worth approximately twice the policy’s cost basis. C A S E S T U DY
For a free, no obligation consultation and policy appraisal, by phone or in person
A PROUD MEMBER OF
LIFE INSURANCE SETTLEMENT ASSOCIACTION
47
Jan. 29, 2010
• T O A D V E R T I S E P L E A S E C A L L 323-965-1544 •
info@communitylinks.info
PESACH IN LAGUNA BEACH Call for our EARLY BIRD SPECIALS
***** FIVE STAR RESORT
WE CAN BOAST ABOUT MANY THINGS BUT
IT’S THE INCREDIBLE WARMTH AND AMAZING PROGRAMS WE ARE MOST PROUD OF THE WERNER BROTHERS of KMR TOURS P R E S E N T PA S S OV E R
2010
I N L AG U NA B E AC H , C A L I F O R N I A
Stunning first class restort boasts: chassidishe shechita & cholov yisroel The KMR culinary team in conjunction with the 5 Diamond 5 Star culinary staff of the St. Regis | Private Sedorim Available | 24 hr scrumptious tea room | All suites include complimentary butler service | Balcony in every room - Private Beach | Live entertainment | Exclusive KMR | activity concierge | Outstanding children’s programs | Amazing Learning And Kids Program | Acclaimed Heartwarming Chazzon | Experienced Teachers available for children & adult classes or private learning | Non-Gebrokts, Chassidishe Shechita and Cholov Yisroel
JOIN OUR WORLD-RENOWNED SPEAKERS WITH MORE TO COME Rabbi Abraham Lieberman Renowned Jewish Historian and Lecturer
Rabbi Manis Friedman, WorldRenowned Author and Lecturer
Rabbi Binyomin Ginsberg Director of the children’s curriculum program
PESACH AT THE ST REGIS MONARCH BEACH, LAGUNA BEACH CALIFORNIA
Please visit our website for a complete list of services, activities, amenities & much more. 1-888-567-0100 or 718-778-4241 WWW.KMRTOURS.COM
Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis Founder & President of Hineni 2nd days