Community Spirit October 2016 by Community Spirit

Contents

October 2016 PUBLISHER & editor Tom McCloud

FEATURES

CREATIVE Director Ben Allen

6 8 12 14 18 22 29 32 36

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Tom McCloud, Randy Cowell, Deniece Adsit, Justin Cowell, Danny Cahill

Elf, The Musical When Churches Unite What Not to do Visiting the Hospital What will YOUR Holiday Sound Like? The Castle of Muskogee Cancer Treatment Centers of America Story Meet New Pastor at South Tulsa Baptist Fostercare Methodist Manor Turns 60!

COLUMNS 21 24 25

Danny Cahill, The Biggest Loser Dr. Jason Schluter Healthy Smiles Dentistry

26 28 30

ACT Financial Services Deniece Adsit Column Premier Advisors Group

Cover photo credit: Joan Marcus.

www.mccloudmedia.com • www.communityspiritmagazine.com Distribution Community Spirit Magazine is distributed to churches, schools, restaurants, Christian bookstores, and other businesses. Call us today to deliver to your church. Community Spirit Magazine is published monthly by McCloud Media. Claims by advertisers and the opinions of writers within this publication do not necessarily represent the views of Community Spirit Magazine or its publisher, Equipment Publications, Inc. Philippians 2:1-2 “If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from His love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.” Our Mission: 1. Build Community – Develop a sense of community among all local believers in Christ 2. Inspire Good Works 3. Support Families 4. Share the Good News of Jesus Christ Fan us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/CommunitySpiritMagazine

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ELF THE MUSICAL

PREMIERES AT THE TULSA PAC NOVEMBER 15-20

*** TICKETS ON SALE MONDAY, OCTOBER 17th ***

elebrity Attractions has done it again! Bringing in a perfect Christmas show for the holidays, they continue to hold true to their desire to package up Broadway and deliver it to Tulsa’s families and show lovers. This year’s musical, wrapped up in ribbons, bows and a cast of powerful voices, is sure to launch our community into Christmas orbit. Their “present” for this year is Elf, The Musical, a beloved Hollywood holiday hit which takes the premise of Will Ferrell’s loveable Elf and turns it into a huge on-stage musical, bringing Christmas cheer to young and old. ELF The Musical is a mixture of humor, dance and powerful songs which pull the audience into the hilarious tale of Buddy, a young orphan child who mistakenly crawls into Santa’s bag of gifts and is transported back to the North Pole. Unaware that he is actually human, Buddy’s enormous size and poor toy-making abilities cause him to face the truth. With Santa’s permission, Buddy embarks on a journey to New York City to find his birth father, discover his true identity. Along the way, Buddy’s naïve, but loveable nature and contagious view of life helps New York (and the entire audience) remember the true meaning of Christmas as well as their belief in Santa Claus. The result is a show that Variety proclaimed as “Happy enough for

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Matt Kopec (Buddy) and the cast of “Elf The Musical.” Photo by Joan Marcus

families, savvy enough for city kids and plenty smart for adults!” Based on the beloved 2003 New Line Cinema hit, ELF features songs by Tony® Awards nominees Matthew Sklar and Chad Beguelin (The Wedding Singer), with a book by Tony® Awards winners Thomas Meehan (Annie, The Producers, Hairspray) and Bob Martin (The Drowsy Chaperone). The production features direction by Sam Scalamoni and choreography by Connor Gallagher. Acclaimed from Broadway to California, the show has more than its share of praise from the media. In fact, The New York Times says that ELF is “A SPLASHY, PEPPY, SUGAR-SPRINKLED HOLIDAY ENTERTAINMENT!” Also, USA Today calls ELF “ENDEARINGLY GOOFY!” And if “goofy” is a reasonable description, it is a “goofiness” which has proven to be box office gold, bringing in millions of ticket sales. It continues to play well across the country and without a doubt, will bring plenty of smiles to Tulsa, sending families home arm-in-arm and most likely singing the show’s infectious tunes. Celebrity Attractions, NETworks Presentations, LLC, Warner Bros. Theatre Ventures and Unique Features, bring the Broadway

musical ELF to the Tulsa Performing Arts Center for a limited engagement of eight performances only November 15-20. Tickets go on sale Monday, October 17th.

The New York Times says that ELF is “SPLASHY, PEPPY, SUGAR-SPRINKLED HOLIDAY ENTERTAINMENT!” USA Today calls ELF, “ENDEARINGLY GOOFY!” Variety proclaims, “ELF is happy enough for families, savvy enough for city kids and plenty smart for adults!” Celebrity Attractions has been a tremendous prayer partner and business client for Community Spirit Magazine for all of its seventeen years. Not only are they a respected and beloved Tulsa based company, they bring a taste of Broadway to our community with shows which most towns our size only dream about. Their integrity, imagination and credibility has caused them to become a nationally recognized leader in the Broadway industry by presenting six Broadway Seasons in a four state region, serving in key roles in Broadway trade organizations, and associate producing 30 Broadway Shows. Celebrity Attractions has built one of the nation’s most highly successful Broadway Seasons in Tulsa and is proud to have an average annual impact on the local economy of more than $40 million. Celebrity Attractions is committed to presenting the Best of Broadway and more and enriching the communities they serve. Tulsa is a better town and without a doubt, contains happier, stage-loving people because of their efforts. Presented by Celebrity Attractions, ELF comes to the Tulsa Performing Arts Center for eight performances only November 15-20. The performance schedule is Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday at 7:30 p.m., Friday at 8 p.m., Saturday at 2 p.m. and 8 p.m., and Sunday at 2 p.m. and 7 p.m. Tickets go on sale Monday, October 17th at 10 a.m. and may be purchased via phone 918.596.7111 or 800.364.7111, in person at the Tulsa PAC Ticket Office, or online at MyTicketOffice.com. Groups of 10 or more receive a discount by calling 918.796.0220.

We encourage you to get social with Celebrity Attractions by becoming a fan on Facebook.com/BwayTULSA. You may also follow them at Twitter.com/BwayTULSA or join in the conversation by using #ELFTulsa. ELF is part of the Celebrity Attractions’ 2016-2017 Broadway Season which also includes MOTOWN The Musical, DIRTY DANCING-The Classic Story on Stage, SOMETHING ROTTEN! and MATILDA The Musical as well as the add-on productions of CIRQUE DREAMS HOLIDAZE, MANNHEIM STEAMROLLER CHRISTMAS By Chip Davis. Celebrity Attractions is proud to have KOTV-News on 6 and Tulsa World as sponsors for this amazing season.

Additional information about ELF is available at www.CelebrityAttractions.com and www.ElfTheMusicalOnTour.com. Photo by Joan Marcus

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When Churches Unite A Merger That Worked

nce Upon a Time…there were two successful churches.

The first one had a 30-year heritage of doing big things for the Lord and a somewhat shrinking, but mature and steadfast membership of around 300 each Sunday. They had a beautiful building with plenty of space to grow, but not enough members to justify doing so. Their pastor was respected all over town, but had reached a point in his life where he wanted to transition. Down from a once exploding membership of 900, he could see that it was time for the church to make some fairly radical changes. The second church, a ten year-old church plant, was young, edgy and growing. However, thus far, they were unable to find a permanent facility. They were a church of around 200, mainly 20-30 somethings, and they prayed for God to somehow make them multi-generational. Their pastor was reaching his prime, seasoned, and after ten years, was now capable of connecting with multiple age groups. They kept making offers on buildings, but mysteriously, nothing seemed to work. They were tired of moving chairs and although they longed for an answer to their challenges, they wanted the right, God-inspired answer. Both churches prayed for God to lead them to the right situation. He did. However, His answer required that they do the seemingly uncomfortable, difficult, and spiritually challenging thing… to lay down their own identity and merge with another church.

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In Tulsa, it is not at all unusual for someone to break off and start a new church. It happens all the time. But it is very unusual when you find two churches with the courage and faith to unite their family together with another one. This article is about two that did. The older, more veteran church in our story is Liberty Church at 7777 South Garnett. The younger, trendy church in our story is The Gathering. They have met downtown and all around, but you may have noticed their sign and logo’ed trailer outside the old Thoreau School. I had the honor to meet with pastors Paul Taylor from the Liberty Church and Brad Jenkins from The Gathering. I found their faith story to be refreshing. Together, they now pastor a brand new church, under an only recently announced name…Anthem Church. You might say that Dr. Charlie Cruce, Director of Missions, Tulsa Metro Baptist Network, was the matchmaker, of course with God’s prodding. He saw two churches of similar size, both in need of what the other had in abundance. Inviting the two pastors to lunch, he let God take it from there. Neither had ever dreamed of a merger being the answer to their challenges. There was certainly no desperation in their situations. They could have quite easily continued along their own path. But somehow, this began to make sense. As Paul said, “We met with

Charlie and we instantly hit it off. We met again together with our wives and they hit it off as well. So, we just kept talking.”

“We resisted any temptation to push the idea through. Instead, we listen to the churches to see that they were affirming the direction.” Brad was impressed with Paul from the beginning. “I could tell he was a visionary, unafraid of hard decisions. That is why we are sitting here…because we have a visionary pastor who sees the church’s future and wants it to thrive and not decline. He knew what needed to happen and was unafraid to take whatever risks were necessary to make sure the mission went forward. But really, it wasn’t a great risk because we could tell that we had the same heart, the same vision and the same theology and all of those things matched up.” Brad explained that The Gathering was always Gospel-centered and focused on the Great Commission… to reach our generation. “We have always tried to honor His name in everything we did. We had just been waiting and praying. When Charlie Cruce approached us with the idea, I told him it would have to be the perfect scenario for us even to consider it. To merge with just anybody wouldn’t make sense. We had prayed that God would make us more multi-generational and actually, that was happening, but slowly. One of the biggest wins to me for the merger was the fast forwarding of that prayer. Having people from birth to great grandparents and everything in between might take twenty years. As I aged, the church would age, but the merger would make it happen over night.” Paul shared a similar prayer. He wanted young millennials. He could have hired a young pastor and waited for it to happen, but it might take years. In the mean time, that young pastor would age himself. Merging would solve the challenge without the wait. Merging two church families creates a million questions and concerns, but surprisingly, both elder boards were open to the idea. And so the process began. “We resisted any temptation to push the idea through. Instead, we listen to the churches to see that they were affirming the direction. We made sure the elders were unified and that we were unified. We went through a step-by-step process, guided by an expert who had merged over 200 churches. He didn’t see any red flags for concern and he took us through a huge process to ensure that we could agree on twenty-five different issues. The process laid everything on the table and produced unity,” Paul explained. In the end, the new church would have an eldership with a mixture of men from both churches. Brad would be the Lead Pastor and Paul would be a Teaching Pastor. Both churches would join together under one name and they would resolve to be one, new church. They first started meeting on December 9th. The two churches voted on June 19th and the new church was officially launched on August 7th. It took only 8 months to achieve some-

thing they now describe as part pastor-succession, part merger and part church planting. Whatever you call it, they have united with a bold vision to reach the community and world for the name of Christ. Were there struggles and arguments? “Maybe a few,” they said with a smile. “But the thing that unifies us is our desire to glorify Christ. We have taken on the idea that we can proclaim the gospel through our unity and as we lay down our individual preferences and come together,” Brad explained. So what is the secret to managing the process, to avoiding this “marriage” to be knocked off course because someone “leaves the top off the toothpaste?” “You make the mission paramount. The mission must be the main thing. If the mission is how are going to do this or how are we going to do that, we may never get together. The mission has to be foremost; glorifying Jesus has to be foremost. We asked people to be generous with each other, to open their arms to each other, to move seats for other people, and to help people understand this as a new church. It is a new church, a new day,” remarked Brad. Paul explained that a few times during the process, he has had to ask people… “Is your concern a ‘principle’ or a ‘preference?’ I explain that we all must defer our preferences for the mission. We will never violate principle, but we will NOT let this be derailed because of preference. We set aside our preferences because of Philippians 2 and we try our best to have the heart of Jesus. And, in the end, if a person’s preference is too big for them to get over, we celebrate with them in finding somewhere else to worship. But we are not going to change because of someone’s preference.” So, what is Anthem Church like? Paul described it as…“Truly multi-generational. Mission focused. Very welcoming. Friendly. An exciting place with high energy. After only a few months, they are finding that Anthem is more than two churches joined together. People from outside the two original churches are now joining. And as they do, they lines of who was Liberty and who was Gathering, is getting quickly blurred. The two men aren’t preaching that every church should be looking for a merger. “Ideally every church should be serving their community, and being about advancing the kingdom. We have amazing churches all over town that are doing that. We are just one more example of what God is doing in the Tulsa area. But if others have questions and want to draw on our experience, we would be willing to help,” they said. And where did the Anthem name come from? “Our Anthem is the life of Jesus. We want everything to point to him,” Brad said simply. Three cheers for Anthem. It’s a Once Upon a Time story with a happy ending.

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[Neh. 2:18]

Let us rise up and build . . .

Rhema Bible Church youth building coming soon!

Asbury First United Methodist Church

Victory Christian Center First Bank of Owasso

Stonewood Vision

Get our NEW app in iTunes or Google Play stores.

Assembly of God Youth Camp

New ofďŹ ce space coming soon!

ChurchesByDaniels.com

New Construction :: Renovation :: Remodeling :: Expansion // 918.872.6006

20 Things NOT to Do During a Hospital Visit by Page Cole

s a long-time preacher, Page Cole thought he knew all there is to know about the art of hospital visitation. But then, he became a patient himself. The experience reminded him of the mistakes many of us make when we attempt to “make someone feel better” with our visit. You would have to know Page to fully appreciate both the humor and practicality in the following 20 Things Not to Do. So, listen closely and take his advice. Don’t add even more pain your loved one’s hospital experience!

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1. Don’t sit on the bed! 2. Don’t say, “Oh, my friend died of that!” 3. Don’t eat off of their food tray! 4. Don’t wake a sleeping patient to visit with you! 5. Don’t play with the dials, buttons or equipment! 6. Don’t overstay your welcome- 5 to 15 minutes is enough! 7. Don’t go see them if you are sick! 8. Don’t enter the room smelly! Strong perfumes or colognes, or lingering smells from cigarettes or even food can upset the patient. 9. Be cautious about what questions you ask- gauge the depth of those questions by the depth of your relationship to the patient. 10. Keep the volume of the conversation low, out of respect for other patients.

11. Avoid visiting them during shift change… if you don’t know when that is, call the hospital and ask! 12. Ask permission to visit… call ahead to make sure they feel well enough for guest. 13. Wash or sanitize your hands before entering and after exiting the room. 14. Ask if you can pray with them! 15. Turn your cell phone off- you’re there to visit them. 16. Immediately excuse yourself if a doctor, nurse or aide enters the room and either needs to visit or work with the patient. 17. Ask if there are any practical ways you or your church can help! 18. Be authentic and genuine in your concern! 19. Take someone with you if possible- more smiles the better! 20. Leave something with them; make sure it’s appropriate and safe if it’s food; could be a magazine, a paper, etc.

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What will YOUR Holidays “SOUND Like?”

he holidays will be here before you know it. What will YOUR holiday SOUND like? Think that is a weird question? I challenge you to consider the following.

We all know that the holidays have great smells… the turkey roasting in the oven, pies cooling on the window sill, even Aunt Mabel’s lingering perfume after a welcome hug… they are all part of the experience. But as memorable as the smells are, the sounds are equally as important to making your upcoming holiday one to remember. If your hearing isn’t what it once was, you could be risking miss out on truly enjoying that “Merry Little Christmas.” This holiday, will you be able to hear the cute first words of one of your grandchildren? Will you miss out on the treasured comments of a relative you rarely get to see because you can’t hear them over the clutter of other conversation? Will the volume of your television drive the younger adults out of the house? Will everyone go home thinking you are “slipping” just because you couldn’t hear what they said? At the Christmas party, will you be embarrassed because you misunderstood a question from a friend or colleague? Isn’t right now, before the first holiday invitation is put in the mail, the best time to face the fact that it is time for your first hearing device or possibly time for an upgrade in technology in your current device? Your holidays and your relationships are worth it. Don’t miss a single sound this holiday season. Now, if you are like me, you are mentally listing all the reasons why you have to put this off. Lets deal with the 4 most common ones. 1. I can’t afford it right now. There is no doubt about it, quality hearing devices are not cheap, but neither is your hearing loss. You might be amazed at what yours is costing you in relationships, quality of life and income. If we want to remain relevant in this fast-paced world, we have to be able to hear what is being said. Clear-tone offers a wide range of hearing devices at different price levels. They can help you get the right device to meet your needs and your wallet.

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2. I would be embarrassed to let others know I need a hearing aid. Truth is, they probably already know. Our families and friends typically notice our misunderstandings, our constant requests for them to speak up, or the high volume of our televisions long before we finally make the decision to get some help. And, hearing aids don’t have to look like the ones your dad wore. Clear-tone can offer you a hearing device that is almost invisible. Even if someone does notice, there is no shame in needing assistance with your hearing any more than someone needing glasses to help their eyesight. Get over your ego and just thank God you live in an age technology is available to help get the best out of life. 3. I am too busy to deal with it right now. There is truly nothing more important than “dealing” with this right now. Invest the time to take care of your hearing and I bet you will find that your productivity will soar. No one is too busy for a life-changing improvement and yours can happen with only a couple appointments at Clear-tone. They make it quick and easy. In the time it takes for only a couple of lunch meetings, you will find yourself back to work and more productive than ever. 4. I wonder if I am ready for hearing aids. At Clear-tone, there is no risk. Try them during the “try out period” and return them if you are not satisfied. There is nothing to lose. Clear-tone Hearing Aid Laboratories Inc. has been in business has been helping people just like you for over 30 years. An international leader in using the latest technology to manufacture the most user-friendly and effective hearing devices, they are experts at finding the perfect solution for your hearing problem. Locally owned and Christ-centered, Clear-tone is a company you can trust. They are located in Tulsa at 2323 South Sheridan and are open MondayFriday from 8:30-5:00. Call 918-838-1000 for an appointment today.

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Attention Church Leaders!

ifthteen hundred American Kingdom Leaders are walking away every month. Many will never return. 4000 to 6000 American Churches are closing every year. July 2016 Thom Rainer said we could lose 100,000 American churches in the next decade. Kingdom leaders are at risk. Their families are hurting. The American Church is shrinking. Flying home from a corporate Billy Graham meeting, I said “Okay God, what next”. God started speaking. I started writing - on the only piece of paper I had – a tiny 4x4 cocktail napkin. He said “Finish Strong”. He said Impact Oklahoma. Encourage Kingdom Leaders in these areas. Holy, Healthy, Right Relationships. Revival in the Church & Effective Evangelism through The Church. He said gather kingdom leaders in area meetings. Connect them. Love them. Feed them. Worship with them. Pray with them. Take communion with them. Give tools to them. Follow up on them. Charge Them Nothing. In that jet, God birthed “Evenings of Encouragement”. Evenings of Encouragement are Christ centered and cross denominational. We are “1NHIM”. We need each other. Old Testament Israel is the working model. Israel was 1 nation with God ordained tribes and boundaries. She was most glorious when tribes took care of their own business and then united to

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address national needs. Judah never become Issachar. However, they were both better when they worked together for the common good. Evenings of Encouragement is a “safe place” to promote the model. EoEs are launching pad for building relationships and doing God’s work together.

Visit the website. www.eveningsofencouragement 1. Sign up! 2. Become a sponsor! 3. Invite a Pastor! or just call me personally at 405-255-0059, Bob Thomas

Evening of Encouragement

Tulsa Event, Thursday November 10th 6:30-8pm, Bethany Freewill Baptist Church, Broken Arrow RSVP for this complimentary event

I’d Be Scared to Miss… The Halloween Festival at the Castle of Muskogee!

he folks at the Castle of Muskogee are at it again. For years, they have done their best to frighten the entire family with their annual Halloween activities. This year, we have been told to expect an even bigger, better and more exciting festival with new scenes, more actors, and new merchants. Now, some of our readers wouldn’t be caught “dead” in a place as scary as this and we fully understand. Each parent and household needs to make their own decision on whether and how to even “do” Halloween. But for those of you who think it is just all in good fun, The Castle of Muskogee has the perfect venue for your entire family and friends. Because we all have differing dividing lines between fun and fear, this 60-acre Halloween Theme Park offers events ranging from the “small children-friendly fall festival” to the “scare you silly, more adult experience.” So, matter which section of the part you decide to encounter, you can do so knowing everyone in your family will be entertained. This fun-filled park is located a short 35 minute drive from Tulsa on the Muskogee Turnpike. The actual address is 3400 West Fern Mountain Road in Muskogee. There is something for everyone and food for every taste. In fact, you’ll find a wonderful collection of culinary creations, as you enjoy the 30+ shops for crafts, décor and clothing. Along the way, you will encounter delightful entertainment for the entire family! Much more than a Haunted House, the Castle provides an array of thrills between 11 different attractions. Their goal is to create oneof-a-kind memories of fun and adventure to everyone.

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A List of the “Gotta See and Do” Things… Take a ride on The Halloween Train! Guests may board from the Depot (located in the Castle Village) and enjoy a ride throughout the festive sites of the not-so-scary grounds. Families are encouraged to plan a trip to Halloween Land, a carnival themed area which is ideal for our younger castle goers. Activities include kid-friendly games, face painting, and prizes with absolutely no scares! And also for those of you with faint hearts, there is always the Haunted Hayride, a trip that is sure to keep you on your toes as you ride through the Castle countryside. The Enchanted Boardwalk is your chance to discover the magic of the Woodlands, which also features over 200 Halloween inflatables; experience live entertainment on the Chessboard Stage with the Magic of Matthew VanZee and the comedy of the Jester Rejects. Back by request, but new to October… Jack Sparrow will be entertaining on stage as well as gallivanting throughout the Castle Village. But IF you are willing, there are also events designed to put a little scare into your experience. For instance, within the Castle walls, guests can relive the doom of the dark ages by touring the Torture Chamber or daring a stroll through Casa Morte… translated to House of the Dead, this 12th Century labyrinth provides horror and menacing spirits around every corner. Looking to revisit the nightmare-inducing stars of the Silver screen? Be sure to plan a trip to Domus Horrificus, which takes you to the depths where

The Halloween FESTIVAL - a Unique & Diverse Experience for all! Sept 30-Oct 1st, 7-8, 14-15, 21-22, 28-29 Hours: 6:00p.m.– 10:00p.m. - Halloween Land open 6:00p.m. – 9:00p.m. The Castle of Muskogee 3400 West Fern Mountain Road in Muskogee. See you there! Bring your whole Youth Group!

your favorite monsters dwell; and in the Ultimate Maze, most of you will find your way, and the rest of you, well... Up for an even greater bone-chilling scare? Venture into the depths of the Castle grounds and test your fear factor on the Trail of Blood. As a staple of the Castle’s Halloween Festival, the folks at The Castle of Muskogee have redefined the possibilities and added new menacing creatures to this wooded walk. Guests may gather courage before entrance or count survivors afterwards at the trail’s pub, The Rack. The hideaway's host, Elvira, may not offer sanctuary from the trail’s ghouls, but she’ll be there to serve up drinks and entertaining tales before the return to Castle Village. And if you are looking for immersion scares, The Castle suggests… the Dark Tower Zombie Hunt, where your mission and weapons are given, but it’s up to you to clear the area of Zombies and rescue survivors. Parking and admission to the Halloween Village is FREE. Tickets must be purchased for each attraction and prices range from $3.00 to $15.00 with Combo Specials available. Advance tickets may be purchased on-line. Go to http://okcastle.com to check out pricing, combo packages and details on attractions. In this family friendly environment, unaccompanied minors must have a photo ID to enter. C ommu n ity sp ir itma ga zin e.c om

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but can often be distractions for what we are truly called to do. The Flow is what Fulfills Matthew 26:6-13 tells of a woman who poured out everything she had for Jesus. Some proclaimed it was a waste, and it could have been used for something better. That is when Jesus answered them and explained that in her heart, she had done a beautiful thing! Do you think she felt fulfilled with Jesus said this? What would you give to hear those words out of His mouth? He also said in Matthew 25:31-46, ‘‘truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” He is describing “The Flow.” My good friend Bob Harrison often talks of The Dead Sea. It is dead because there is only inflow and no outflow, and all of the minerals and normally healthy things that flow are trapped and can’t flow out again. This causes the water to become so toxic that nothing can live in it.

True Fulfillment by Danny Cahill ABC’s The Biggest Loser Season 8

I believe our lives are like the sea. We were meant to pour out what we have so we can be filled again. If we don’t, we soon find that we are unhappy in our Dead Sea of a life. This is where we ask ourselves, “Really? I thought money would make me happy. Now I find I still have the same problems I did when I was broke – they’re just more expensive!” The same happens in marriages, churches, and in every area of life.

rue fulfillment sometimes eludes us at every turn. We grind through everyday life doing what we do, and sometimes we pause for a moment, only to find ourselves feeling empty. We ask ourselves, “Is this all life has to offer? Is this all I can expect out of my journey?”

The journey to fulfillment isn’t found by filling yourself up. True fulfillment comes by pouring yourself out. It begins with your love, moves to your time and energy, and finishes with whatever you have to give. And it’s the one thing God guarantees – that if you test him in your tithe, or pouring yourself out to the things of God – you’ll see a blessing that is “pressed down, of good measure!” That, my friends, is the definition of fulfillment!

So we set goals, create dream boards, and make ourselves promises – composed of the things we think will fulfill us. These things might include money, title, a dream car or new toy, or maybe a new home. Sometimes, we blame our lack of fulfillment on our spouses and carry resentments, or we choose to separate, or even divorce, in search of what will fulfill us. And our church – if they’d only see things my way and treat me better I’d feel fulfilled. I’ve seen this “hamster wheel” go on and on in people’s lives, including mine, and it’s time for all of this to stop.

So I ask you, what are you running from? What are you chasing that you believe will fulfill you? Life is full of seasons, and we are filled up to be poured out. Where in your marriage can you sow seeds? Where in your church can you plug in and find relationship? What do you have to give that will bring the true fulfillment you are looking for? Listen to Desert Song (https://youtu.be/ c3l1z7bXY9Y) carefully and ask yourself: what season am I in? What season am I headed for? And what purpose you can I find for the struggle I am in?

Searching turns up little fulfillment

Final Thought

I’ve found that those who leave their church, spouse, or job in search of fulfillment often find themselves leaving their new one when they feel unfulfilled again, sometimes in just a few years. This is because outside influences cannot bring us fulfillment. And neither will achieved goals, the dream car or the new house. They might for a while, but we soon find that wherever we go, there we are. The common denominator is us, not others or other things.

I identify with this in my food addition and compulsive overeating. In fact, I believe that all of our addictions stem from searching for something that only Jesus can fulfill. His instructions to us weren’t to labor to find things to fulfill us – they were to labor to rest in what He has done. And when we pour out by loving and serving others, we find the peace that surpasses understanding that we long for, and the fulfillment we have always dreamed of. When we do this, I believe our focus turns from our addictions to Jesus, and we can finally rest in that peace – His peace. And then we can quit trying to find it by running from our current situations or chasing a “fix” that will make us feel better.

Now, I am not saying to just sit idle and not strive for what you want. That is a part of life! But I am saying that things, title, money or others will never make you feel fulfilled. These things are great,

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More than just a casserole

Tips for caring for cancer patients

ccording to the American Cancer Society, more than one million people in the United States are diagnosed with cancer each year. Chances are when a friend, neighbor or loved one shares that they have been diagnosed with cancer, after adding them to a prayer list many people offer to bring them a meal.

be helpful,” said Rev. Frech. “The typical gifts of greeting cards, flowers and balloons can be a great way to brighten a patient’s day. But offering a specific way to help or a personalized cancer care package can take the understanding, empathy and support to the next level.”

“Although offering food is a wonderful and appreciated gesture, caring for a cancer patient is more about a loving relationship than just baking or preparing food,” said Rev. Cody Frech, a chaplain at Cancer Treatment Centers of America (CTCA) in Tulsa. “Patients and families might have a long journey ahead of them. They will need a support team that can sustain them through the journey.”

While every cancer patient’s journey is unique, many have common experiences during chemotherapy and radiation treatments.

“What can I do to help?” is a common question cancer patients frequently get from family and friends who want to provide meaningful support but don’t know where to start. The question, though, can stump patients, too, especially as they struggle to come to terms with their diagnosis. “The patient may be so overwhelmed with details about their treatment plan that they are not sure of what they need or what could

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Here is a list of ways that may help boost a cancer patients’ spirit: Simple messages: Simple text messages or emails saying “I’m thinking of you” with Bible verses or inspirational quotes may be just what the patient needs at that very moment. Housecleaning/Laundry: Offer to come over to their house while the patient is attending a doctor’s appointment and clean their house or do their laundry. Grocery shopping: Call or text the patient and ask what they need from the grocery store.

Childcare: If the patient has younger children, offer to baby sit or take the kids on an outing while the patient sleeps. Transportation: Offer the patient a ride to his/her doctor’s appointment. The patient may appreciate not having to worry about traffic or the commute. Chemo buddy: If they are feeling up to it, offer to sit with the patient during his/her chemotherapy treatment. Chatting or even praying with the patient during the visit may help take their mind off of their situation. Pet patrol: If they have a pet, offer to take the pet for a walk or to the groomers. Salon gift cards: For patients preparing for chemotherapy treatment, a hair salon gift card offers them the opportunity to gradually adjust to shorter hair. When their hair does fall out, frequent trims can camouflage the change and ease the transition. Mouth aids: Chemotherapy patients might experience “metal mouth,” or a metallic taste after treatment. Citrus candies and fruits are a popular way of counteracting this common side effect. For those with often-painful dry mouth or mouth sores, over-thecounter toothpastes, oral rinses and gels may help alleviate the discomfort. Skin care: Dry and irritated skin are common side effects of chemotherapy and radiation treatments. Mild soaps and moisturizers are often recommended and may make thoughtful gifts. Loose-fitting clothing, such as soft pajamas or socks, may help patients with dry or irritated skin, while a monogramed or personalized blanket or stuffed animal may afford them the comforts of home during their hospital stay. Mental stimulation: Magazines or crossword and other puzzle books are often used as a diversion from treatments or hospital stays. Books written by cancer survivors may also prove both educational and encouraging. Journals, too, are an option to encourage patients to use writing as an outlet during treatment. File organizer: Patients often don’t think to buy organizing material, but these tools may help patients store voluminous medical records, receipts, prescriptions and other information. Pocket calendars or planners may also make it easier for patients to take notes, log symptoms and medications and track their appointments. Rev. Frech adds that “being a support system for a cancer patient can be draining physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Therefore, it is good to have a team effort where people can take turns providing the necessary support. That way the patient and family can receive the care that they need without anyone being burned out in the process. The cancer journey can be a marathon and not generally a sprint.”

Spiritual care during cancer treatment For faith-based individuals, spiritual support can be a fundamental part of treatment at Cancer Treatment Centers of America (CTCA) in Tulsa. Nurturing your faith can help you better cope with the spiritual and emotional challenges associated with cancer. CTCA strives to provide universal spiritual support services for patients and their family members. If requested, a member of our pastoral care team will meet with patients within the first 48 hours of their first visit to the hospital. Spiritual care can be integrated into a patient’s treatment in a variety of ways: • Individual and group prayer • Counseling by a faith representative of your choice • Weekly worship and communion services • Communication between CTCA Pastoral Care team and a family’s spiritual advisors at home • Patient and caregiver classes focused on healing, faith and life • Covers of Love – a homemade blanket or quilt given to our treating patients the first time they attend a mid-week worship service • Taped ministry • Support with end-of-life issues and decisions • Baptisms, weddings and funerals CTCA chaplains are also available to visit with patients before surgery to provide prayer and counsel. Caregivers and family members may also talk with them. In addition, other clinicians, including physicians and nurses, often pray with patients as part of the care they provide. For more information, visit cancercenter.com/tulsa

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Stay Healthy This Fall

Jason Schluter DC Schluter Chiropractic

Give Your Immune System a Boost - Back to school time can sometimes mean getting sick time for some unfortunately. To help avoid that this fall, be sure to follow these simple suggestions: limit your sugar intake, eat simply and nutritiously, get regular chiropractic adjustments, and boost up your supplements. Stay Hydrated - This is a very easy rule to follow in the summer time heat, but come fall, you may not feel as parched. However, that doesn’t mean staying hydrated isn’t as important. Drinking plenty of water is still crucial to keeping your body functioning at its best. Stay Active in the Cold – Just because it’s cold outside doesn’t mean you can’t be as active. In fact, you don’t even have to go outside to move more throughout the day. Try fashioning a DIY standing desk or workstation at work, or simply do a few laps around the office or the house when you can. As tempting as it may be, try to avoid becoming a couch potato during the cold months.

here is a crisp breeze in the air, the leaves are changing color and the landscape is looking more and more beautiful. But despite all of this, fall and the upcoming holiday season can be a very stressful time for many. While there is so much to be grateful for, it is easy to get busy and forget to take care of your own health. Our health tends to be put on the back burner during this time of year and combined with the stress of the upcoming holidays creates a recipe for disaster. With that in mind, here are a few ways to stay motivated and maintain your health routine this fall. Set Goals and Limits – Goals can be extremely important but if they are excessively restrictive or vague, you will be less likely to follow through. Establish clear health and nutrition goals i.e., a half-hour walk every weeknight; a small dessert two times a week, etc. Being consistent is key to having success with anything in life but especially when it comes to your health. Get a Routine – Try to make your daily routine a habit, keeping things at the same time each day. Stay on top of your workouts, develop a consistent routine for healthy eating and keep getting regular chiropractic adjustments. Beginning to experience how great your body is designed to feel and function is a great incentive to get back on track if you start missing workouts or eating unhealthy. If that happens you will start to feel sluggish and unsettled. Eat Fall Superfoods - Eating seasonal fruits and vegetables means your produce will be less expensive, more nutritious & definitely taste better – which means you’re more likely to eat more of the healthy stuff. Summer may be coming to an end, but eating in season can be just as healthy with fall superfoods like pumpkins, apples and Brussels sprouts ripening now.

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Make this year different, take responsibility for your health and make it a top priority this fall.

The Invisible Way to Straighten Your Teeth

he invisible way to straighten teeth, which debuted in 1997, is not actually new but certainly has increased in popularity over the last several years. A great alternative to the “mouth full of metal” of which we are all familiar, the invisible method has a lot more appeal. Aligner therapy came to fruition in the late 90s as the result of a patient finishing his own orthodontic treatment with a clear retainer that snapped over his teeth. He then developed the concept of applying clear retainers to effect a larger placement through a series of small movements. This invisible method of straightening teeth consists of a series of aligners, which are made of a clear plastic material that snaps over the teeth. Each aligner is worn for 2-3 weeks allowing the teeth to move a small amount over that time period. With each aligner there are incremental movements of the teeth until ultimately the desired end result of straighter teeth is achieved. Average treatment time to completion is just over a year. The procedure for utilizing aligners to straighten teeth begins with some impressions of the teeth being made. A model is made from the impression. This model is digitally scanned and then a computerized model develops the stages necessary to move the teeth into the final desired position. Aligner therapy works best for patients that have mild to moderate teeth crowding. The treatment usually works very well on people who have had previous orthodontic treatment but have experienced some relapse from the position of their teeth since the braces were removed.

Before starting any kind of clear aligner therapy it is important to look at the pros and cons of this orthodontic method. The most appealing pro and the reason this method has gained momentum in popularity is the fact that the aligners are next to invisible, so most people never notice them. Because the aligners are removed to eat, there are no dietary restrictions. Also, there are no wires or brackets that trap food. Most importantly, the teeth can still be flossed with ease. I often tell patients the best thing about clear aligners is that you can take them out. However, I also tell patients the worst thing about their aligners is that you can take them out! A person that chooses this mode of straightening teeth must be very compliant and dedicated to the process. Otherwise, desired results will not be achieved. The aligners must be worn 20-22 hours per day in order for the aligners to work and accomplish the appropriate amount of tooth movement. Considering the various reasons mentioned above, you can see why people most often prefer the invisible method. Over the past 18 years, the concept has continued to grow in popularity, and there are a number of companies that can provide this service. If you have been thinking about improving your smile, but the thought of a “mouth full of metal” was keeping you from doing it, talk to your dentist. You may be a candidate for Clear Aligner Therapy and be able to show off your smile while aligning your teeth at the same time.

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If you don’t take care of your e

s a small business owner, you understand the phrase “wearing multiple hats” better than anyone else. You shift in and out of your role as the janitor, sales department, human resources and technical support as seamlessly as a chameleon blending into his environment. And that’s just on a Monday. Obviously, doing it all alone isn’t an efficient business model, but it’s what is necessary in the early years. So, being the forwardthinking entrepreneur you are, what do you do? You guessed it! Hire employees! Now, you get to delegate operations so that your business runs like a well-oiled machine, and it’s up to you to take care of these people and their families. By bringing them into the fold, you have made a commitment to do what is in their best interest. That’s not a responsibility to take lightly. Unfortunately, most do, especially in the small business arena. According to Metlife’s 13th Annual U.S. Employee Benefit Trends Study, “twenty-five percent of small business employers believe they have a responsibility for their workers’ financial wellness.” But get this, 34% of small business employees believe their employer should play this role. This perception gap between small business employers and employees represents the largest gap when compared to medium and large sized businesses.

You see, benefits play a crucial role in employee loyalty. The same survey found that nearly 40% of employees say having a wide selection of benefits would make them feel more loyal to their

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employer. On the other hand, 87% of employers report that this is a very important benefits objective . The "Better Benefits" survey from Care.com found that 62% of employees would leave a job for better benefits. Is it any wonder why 87% of employers report that employee retention is an objective of their benefits they offer? So if the perception is that employers should take on the role of shepherd for their flock, why don’t more employers heed this calling? Cost could be the biggest factor. According to a survey done by Metlife in 2013, 88% of employers cited cost control as a very important benefits objective and 80% reported that optimizing

employees, someone else will! partner with them to help educate their employees, increase key employee loyalty and make sure that their business continues on to the next generation. If we can orchestrate a plan that benefits both the employer and the key employees at no additional out of pocket cost, then we know we have done our job right. Did I mention that with certain strategies that you can actually recoup the cost of the plan? benefits plans to reduce costs is a most important strategy. When making benefits decisions, nearly three-quarters (74%) of employers claim cost is an important consideration.” With employee retention being somewhat of a hot topic in recent years, Globoforce®, a leader in helping businesses implement recognition programs, conducted an annual survey in collaboration with the Society for Human Resource Management. The purpose was to elicit trends and insight from HR leaders and practitioners about their top workforce challenges and strategies to help address them. I don’t know if this is a challenge for you and your business, but according to the findings, the top three challenges faced by HR organizations today are turnover, employee engagement, and succession planning. If you’ve been a business owner for any length of time, you can probably relate to the devastation that comes from an employee who leaves to go work for the competition, or worse, becomes your competition. The devastation isn’t just emotional, it’s financial as well! For entry-level employees, it costs between 30% and 50% of their annual salary to replace them. For mid-level employees, it costs upwards of 150% of their annual salary. For high-level or highly specialized employees, you're looking at 400% of their annual salary. So, let’s face it, you aren’t as worried about losing the kid you just hired straight out of college, as you are the 10-year company veteran that has been with you since the early days. That being said, if there are certain employees that are the heartbeat of the company and drive company performance more than others, doesn’t it make sense to provide certain benefits only to these key employees? When I approach a small to medium-sized business owner, I tell them I am applying for their non-paid CFO position. What I mean by that, is someone to https://benefittrends.metlife.com/assets/downloads/insights-to-go-2015.pdf https://www.metlife.com/about/press-room/index.html?compID=124347 http://workplace.care.com/betterbenefits https://www.metlife.com/about/press-room/index.html?compID=124347

Think about what would happen if you lost your #1 or #2 employees. Does that thought worry you a bit? What if you could do things for them that you didn’t have to do for the rest of your employees? Would that be a conversation worth having? If so, please call our office and we can discuss some of these strategies that can be implemented at no additional cost. Justin graduated with a Bachelor’s of Science degree in Business Administration from John Brown University in 2007. For over 30 years, Justin witnessed his father, Randy, approach his financial planning practice as a ministry. This inspired Justin to pursue a career where he could help families and business owners achieve their maximum financial potential. Justin C. Cowell - Partner ACT Financial Services, Inc. 4111 S. Darlington Ave., Ste. 800 Tulsa, OK 74135 O: 918-664-0081 C: 918-810-7239 jcowell@htk.com http://go.globoforce.com/rs/862-JIQ-698/images/Globoforce_SHRM_2015.pdf https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/20130816200159-131079-employee-retention-now-a-bigissue-why-the-tide-has-turned C ommu n itysp ir itma ga zin e.c om

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Our Heart’s Desire

n a small town in southern Oklahoma, a group of old men gathered with their usual sticks and knives. They sat on the same bench every day whittling away on their sticks and swapping stories of days long past. The town affectionately called them the “spit and whittle club.” They would sit for hours every day, turning a foot long stick into a toothpick. When they were done, they would eat lunch at the local café and go home. One day a prominent member of the group became ill and was taken to the hospital by ambulance. Jimmy had never spent a single night in the hospital. He had been the strong one. He had cared for his wife until she passed years before. He had raised their children – eight of them – to adulthood. But now he was old. His body was failing. Soon it became evident he would never be able to return home. The hospital would be his final stop on life’s journey. As the realization came closer to reality, his thoughts were consumed with the desire to see all of his children one last time. One by one, they came and stayed with him. All except Bill. Every day he would ask when Bill was coming to see him. Finally, he pleaded with his other children to tell Bill to come. Sonny, the oldest, did just that. He went to his brother and asked him why he was waiting so long to see his dad. That’s when he broke down. He couldn’t bear it any longer. “Because I can’t see him that way! I want to remember him sitting on the bench downtown, full of life and stories!” “He won’t make it out of the hospital,” his brother told him. “I know, but I can’t do it. I can’t let my last memory of him be in a hospital bed.” Disappointed, Sonny went back to the hospital to spend as much time as possible with his dad. All the other children became angry with Bill for not giving their father his one last wish. While they were talking another brother, Dewey, walked in. “Bill!” Jimmy cried. “You did make it!” He hugged Dewey thinking it was Bill, then closed his eyes. Several family members were quite distraught that Jimmy had been denied that one last request to see all of his children. Some even questioned why God hadn’t answered his prayer. God, in

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His infinite wisdom, had given him what he needed. He had even given him what he asked for. He had seen all of his children, even though one hadn’t been there. Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4 NIV) I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread. They are always generous and lend freely; their children will be a blessing. (Psalm 37:25-26 NIV) How many times have we prayed for something, not knowing those around us had a different prayer? Does God have to choose whose prayer get answered? There may be many times in our lives when our desires are in direct conflict with those of our friends. God, in his infinite wisdom and endless grace, finds a way. “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8-9 NIV) Life gets complicated. People can be unreliable. That’s when God does His most remarkable work. It may not be in a way we understand at the moment, but enlightenment will come. God sees all and knows all. He can always find a way around the limitations of human perception to give us our heart’s desire.

ABOUT DENIECE Deniece has a passion to minister to women. You are going to grow to love her and the way she tells stories, always getting to the real heart of the matter.

Dr. Eric Costanzo, New Senior Pastor at South Tulsa Baptist Editor’s Note: For fear of leaving anyone out, Community Spirit has typically not done many articles on pastors. However, encouraged to see a new crop of young pastors arrive at many of the largest churches across town, I decided to spread the news. In the coming issues, we will introduce some of the new faces God will use to help usher in a revival. From millennials, to Baby Boomers, to the Greatest Generation…Get ready Tulsa. God has big plans for our community!

eet Dr. Eric Costanzo, a dynamic, young teaching pastor who has taken the challenge of filling the very big shoes of Dr. Ted Kersh at South Tulsa Baptist.

Many of you know him already because of his work at First Baptist downtown, particularly his work with the homeless community. After nearly a two-year search, the South Tulsa Baptist Selection Committee landed a homegrown pastor from right here in town. Eric is a Bixby High School graduate who went on to receive his B.A. in Bible from Oklahoma Baptist University, and both a Master of Divinity and Ph.D. from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Dallas/Fort Worth. Before coming to South Tulsa, he served as Associate Pastor at two churches - First Baptist Church in downtown Tulsa (2008-2016) and First Baptist Church of Watauga, TX (2004-2008). He also served as interim pastor at Blackburn Chapel Baptist Church in Bethel Acres, OK (20022003). A respected Bible teacher, Eric has also served as adjunct professor on occasion for several institutions, and has written several publications and presented several academic papers. South Tulsa Baptist Church, located just south of 101st and Sheridan, has a reputation for being a people bent on taking the gospel to the world. Seeing the needs around them, they are poised to serve as God does great things. Although obviously different than the homeless community he has worked in for the last eight years, Eric says you would be wrong if you thought the south Tulsa community doesn’t have its own problems. “There are a lot of people around us with great spiritual needs and maybe even physical needs. I don’t know what their balance sheet looks like, but I do know there are people around us who are struggling and hurting.

This church is full of great families anxious to reach out to them. Our goal will be to focus on serving people so we can win an audience with them and earn the opportunity to tell them about Jesus. If they aren’t quite ready to walk in the doors, we want to go to them and show them the love of Christ through our actions,” he said. Explaining that he will always have a heart for the homeless, he hopes to weave that ministry into the plans at South Tulsa Baptist. But what proved to be a successful in reaching the homeless… finding a way to get them into Bible study, will continue to be his model here. “Where ever you see a group of people willing to let God’s Word be the authority in their life, their external problems suddenly begin to look better, as the internal relationship begins to provide healing. We had success with the homeless, not because we gave them keys to an apartment, but rather because they had that constant, positive input of the scripture.” It was sad to leave First Baptist, but even after only a couple of months, Eric feels at home here and is already reaching out to the community. Although stepping down as pastor, Dr. Kersh continues to serve the church as a member and has proven to be a tremendous help to Eric in making this transition. South Tulsa Baptist has two Sunday morning services at 8:30, 10:50 and an evening service at 6:00. You can learn more about Dr. Eric Costanzo and the South Tulsa Baptist Church at www.southtulsa.org.

Eric is married to Rebecca (2001) and they have four children — Adin, Noah, Abigail, and Kynzleigh. In his spare time he enjoys being run ragged by his four children and all of their activities (which includes coaching), traveling, reading, and collecting antique books. C ommu n itysp ir itma ga zin e.c om

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Social Security, It Is A Changin

he recent budget bill hammered out by the Whitehouse and congressional leaders will in essence shut down two popular Social Security claiming strategies utilized since the passage of the Senior Citizens Freedom to work Act in 2000. Unless the Senate rejects the bill outright according to a recent Wall Street article this bill could reduce a couple’s lifetime income by “tens of thousands of dollars.” The bill, if passed, will affect the “File and Suspend “ and “restricted application for spousal benefits.” These are two of the most popular strategies used by financial planners to increase the SS withdrawals of retirees. These strategies were originally allowed in the 2000 Senior Citizens Freedom to Work Act and were intended to increase flexibility for seniors to continue working even while receiving SSI benefits. It eliminated the earnings test at full retirement age (FRA), and allowed recipients to suspend their benefits to earn 8% annual retirement credits. Since 2000 these “New” strategies have been ever increasing in popularity resulting in an increased utilization and scrutiny of some government officials. In his 2014 budget President Obama vowed “to get rid of aggressive strategies that allowed upper-income beneficiaries to manipulate the timing of collection of Social Security benefits in order to maximize delayed retirement credits.” “The wealthy are not the only class to be adversely affected by the new bill,” according to Jim Blair, a former district manager for the Ohio Social Security Office in Shanonville Ohio. “Under the new law, many middle-class couples, lower earning spouses, often women, will be forced to take a reduced spousal benefit. In addition, divorced individuals who previously could take a spousal benefit while their own benefit earned delayed retirement credit will be out of luck!”

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A casual observer might argue that this line of thinking is woven throughout several of this administration’s policies. We know now that not just the uber wealthy are being affected by Obama care. Every socio-economic class is affected and we have no reason to believe the results of this bill to be any different. At the risk of turning this article into a political blog I will move on. First off, anyone 61 or younger by the end of 2015 WILL NOT be eligible for either strategy. If it appears the author is a little testy, I apologize. It is because I just determined my sweet wife of nearly 41 years missed the cut-off by ONE month! This file and suspend strategy was the option we had planned to use. The good news here is that the bill is heading for the Senate and with enough voices raised in protest to our elected officials we might be able to stop this portion of the bill from passing. If you are nearing retirement and want to preserve the benefits that have been utilized successfully for sixteen years by all economic classes, pick up the phone and call your senator!

RANDY C. COWELL ACT FINANCIAL Randy C. Cowell is a columnist and President of ACT Financial Services, Inc. in Tulsa, Oklahoma. He is the author of “God Good-Debt Bad”. Randy welcomes your thoughts and prayers. He can be reached at 918-664-0081 or by e-mail at rcowell@htk.com. “Randy C. Cowell is a registered Representative of and Securities and Investment Advisory services offered through Hornor Townsend and Kent, Inc Registered Investment Advisor. HTK is a member of FINRA/SIPC and does not offer tax, legal and credit service advice. The views expressed are not necessarily those of HTK. ACT Financial Services, Inc. is not affiliated with HTK.”

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Children Are Crying. Will the YOU Help?

onight as you slept, children cried. Most of us are not in a position to ever hear them, but they cried just the same. Confused, abandoned and desperate for a love and security, they may have never experienced, the young ones reach out in the darkness for help while some of the older ones sit quietly, disillusioned and downright mad. Most have been separated from their families due to either abuse or neglect. For their own protection, the court has ordered the Department of Human Services (DHS) to gather them up, along with their few belongings, to be temporarily cared for by the state. Due to the hard work of DHS, churches and a host of private contractors like TFI, The Bair Foundation and Lilyfield, there are fewer foster kids without homes than in the past. However, the need is still high and YOUR home could absolutely make the saving difference in the lives of desparate children.

of them ending up homeless, jobless, on drugs, in prison, prostitution or even dead. Here are some alarming facts. 60 percent of the girls will have a child within 4 years of leaving foster care 45 percent are unemployed 50 percent do not complete High School 31 percent are arrested If nothing changes by the year 2020, more than 10.5 million children will have spend time in foster care and more than 300,000 will age out under that care, totally unprepared for this transition. Over 75,000 of them will experience homelessness.

Will “The Church” Come to the Rescue?

No, it is not easy. Many of these kids have been physically, mentally or sexually abused or neglected. The emotional scars can be seen in their eyes and it takes a special kind of family to offer the right love and understanding to see them through this painful time in their lives. At the end of the day, they are still kids, needing attention, training and love. They desperately need someone who will commit to them until they can go back home.

In the early days of the church, Christians were known to be the ones who stepped in to save children left abandoned to die. Over 2000 years have passed since those days, but children are stilling crying in the darkness and God calls Christians to respond. In fact, some even describe the present “Christian adoption movement” as a phenomenon. Churches are leading the charge and couples are responding by becoming foster parents, with the thought of possible adoption.

But unfortunately for some, going home never happens. And unless the right people intervene and come to the rescue, they will bounce from one temporary foster care home to the next until they finally turn 18 years old. By then, the problems are often too great to bear. The future for most of this kids is bleak with many

There are almost 7000 churches in Oklahoma. Can you imagine what a difference it would make if each church agreed to foster/ adopt one child? The greatest gift for a youth who has lived in a state group shelter or home is to finally have a “forever family.”

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Respected Organizations are here to Help

earing the cries and seeing the overwhelming need, many organizations are rising to the challenge, recruiting foster care families, organizing people to support foster care families, and providing counseling and adoption services where appropriate. The list of these organizations is too long to adequately applaud. However, here is a beginning resource list of people who helped us with this story. TFI Family Services – www.tfifamilyservices.org Provides satellite/Family Resource Home, Emergency, Respite Care, Specialized Care, Treatment Care, Therapeutic/Intensive Treatment Care, and Supportive Family Living. Reintegration/Foster Care and Adoption Contract Services • Adoptions • Behavioral Health • Kinship Services • Case Management • Counseling, Support, and Education • Services for Substance Related Disorders • Visitation and Exchange Center • PS-MAPP Training • 24/7 Intake • Juvenile Justice Authority Provider • Family Base Services • Affiliate Services for Community Development Disability Organizations

Lilyfield Christian Adoption and Foster Care – www.lilyfield.org Providing loving, Christian families for infants and children through private adoption and a foster care program for children in state custody. And giving women in crisis pregnancies a place to turn to for guidance and adoption services. The Bair Foundation – www.bair.org Provides foster care and therapeutic foster care with Christ-centered quality care and services dedicated to the treatment, restoration and empowerment of children, youth and families. Can I adopt my fostercare child if they come open for adoption? Jason Grewe, at TFI Family Services, explained that re-unification of the child to their biological parents is always the purpose of fostercare. However, if it is determined that this is not possible, adoption can be an option, the fostercare parent is considered if they are interested. However, fostercare parents should not go into the situation with this in mind. “Should it happen, we can work with the parents to see them through the process,” he said.

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cies. Their agency then started the process of all the training, background checks, and home inspection. The process took about four months. But as soon as it was done, they received their first placement the next week. “We were called on a Wednesday night and we had to be at the hospital by noon the next day to pick up the newborn baby,” Kari recalled. That child was with them two months before being bridged back to her biological father. They, of course, grieved the separation, but were thankful she was able to go back to her father. After all, that had been their prayer ever since she arrived. After going from nothing to newborn in only a few hours, they decided they needed to take a little break and temporarily closed their home to fostercare. Soon after, they found out we were pregnant.

Meet Todd and Kari Ogle

hey are an example of the hundreds of Christian couples who have stepped up to make a difference in this fostercare crisis. Kari was first exposed to the benefits of fostercare when she worked as the finance director for an adoption and fostercare agency in Memphis. The experience of seeing kids in need stayed with her long after she left the job. So when the dreams of starting their own family took longer than expected, she and Todd decided to foster. They first had to decide to use DHS or one of the authorized agen-

Holly Towers, Executive Director of Lilyfield Christian Adoption and Fostercare, explained that there is no need to dread the certification process. “We have found that although the process is lengthy, it is a great exercise for the fostercare family to prepare, to build the communication and family strengths which will help to make their fostercare experience a positive one,” she said. “We thought we might wait a while and focus on our own child, but we got a call from the same family we fostered for before and they were in need again. So, we reopened our home. DHS treated us like we were part of the child’s family and she moved right in. So, for the next eight months, we had two babies. It was like ‘man-to-man defense, two kids and two adults,” Kari joked. The child is now in the process of a trial re-unification with her bio father. Todd and Kari believe it has been a wonderful opportunity to mentor and influence the family. “If at all possible, it is always best for kids to be with biological families. That we what we hope for. We see our role as providing assistance until that can happen. In our case, we are dealing with good parents who found themselves in the circumstances where they couldn’t do all they needed to take care of their children. Our job is to step in and provide that support and stability for the child,” she said. “ We hope to make an impact on foster children. It is our responsibility to show them Christ’s love. Hopefully, we have helped them add to their parenting skills and influence them. I know they have influence us. They have shown us great things about God’s grace and mercy. The experience has left a huge mark on us. We see it as a tremendous miracle and blessing from God,” Todd explained. “Caring for orphans is not just a subtle suggestion in the Bible. As a Christian, we all have a role. Everybody needs to consider what their role can be. Not everyone is cut out for fostercaring in their own home, but examine yourself and your situation to see what your role can be. If you are called to fostercare, you will have a rigorous training program. But if not, find another way to serve. Bring meals to the families, cut their grass, know when the court dates are and send them encouragements notes. There is something for everyone to do.” Fostercare is still in their plans. It’s a ministry they feel called to do. For now, they are waiting to make the first family doesn’t still need them before they take on another child. But when the call happens again, Todd and Kari have room in their hearts for more kids.

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Called to Care Fostering says “yes” to a population of vulnerable children & teens that most Christians don’t even realize exists as they go about their daily life from a safe, comfortable home. Did you know, In the U.S. there are over 400,000 children who are living without permanent families in the foster care system? There are over 11,000 children & teens in foster care in the state of Oklahoma according to Annie E. Casey Foundation. The Bible clearly mandates in James 1:27 and many scriptures throughout the bible that as believers, it’s our responsibility to take care of God’s children in their time of crisis. These children need to know what it feels like to experience unconditional love. They need a Christian family. They need an encounter with the redeeming love of Jesus Christ. Have you ever thought about fostering? We can help you through the certification process. The Bair Foundation is a Christcentered, nonprofit, organization founded in 1967 by Bill Bair as he followed God’s calling to foster hard-to-place children (this included older children, sibling groups and children with medical problems). Foster care is not for everyone; but for those who feel lead by God to provide this meaningful, life-changing service, The Bair Foundation will guide, direct, and support you through the process, after you become licensed and during each placement. All children in foster care have experienced some form of trauma. Trauma can affect children’s brains, behavior, and ways of thinking. It can affect a child’s sense of security, safety, and alters the way they see and respond to people and situations in their lives. As a family goes through the foster parent training classes, they’ll receive the groundwork necessary to deal with the issues that these traumatized children may experience. Each child is different and their needs vary. Being a foster parent means not only fostering love and hope into the life of a child, but you may also be given the opportunity to minister to their biological family who desperately needs to know the love of a Savior who can give them hope. Caring for the abused, neglected and oppressed is an expression of the heart of God and a demonstration of the gospel in action. Allow God to use you in this magnificent way, Become a Foster Parent. The Bair Foundation has three offices in the state of Oklahoma. To learn more, call: Tulsa 918-298-5059, Oklahoma City, 405-7592670 or McAlester 918-426-3334. Step out in faith to answer the call, you’ll be glad you did.

What to do if you can’t We Pray you will consider becoming a foster care family, but even if you can’t, you can still make a difference. 1. Pray for these struggling youth as well as for the foster care families and those working to support them. 2. Call one of the foster care agencies to see how you can volunteer to help. 3. Consider being a part of a small group support family. Contact Stand in the Gap for more information. 4. Organize a support ministry at your church. Help foster families with everything from cutting their yard to baby-sitting. Become a part of the solution.

What WILL You Do to Help? Great foster parents come from people in all phases of life. You could be better foster parent material than you think! Foster care parents are often… • Active church members who feel a sense of mission in serving children • Community minded people who want to help kids stay in their own town or city • Adults, now empty-nesters, looking to have children in the home • People who will help a relative or provide brief respite care for other foster parents • People from all professions and stages of life, who share a common bond in helping children. C ommu n itysp ir itma ga zin e.c om

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Oklahoma Methodist Manor Celebrating 60 Years of Serving Tulsa’s Seniors

ack in the early 50's a group of Methodists were called to launch a ministry whose mission would be to serve elders in the spirit of Christ. In October of 1956 that vision became a reality when nineteen widows moved into the former Francis Willard Home at 4134 East 31st Street. Since then a continuum of care has emerged that now includes residential living, assisted living, skilled nursing, memory care, rehabilitative therapy and skilled dementia care. Ask Emma Ragsdale and her daughter, Sara Bailey about Oklahoma Methodist Manor and they will share stories about the thousands of lives that have been touched by this wonderful community. Emma, who served as Executive Assistant to one of the Administrators, has lived in one of the Patio Homes since the 1980's. Sara served as a volunteer when she was in high school and now she serves on the Board of Directors. Steve Dickie, OMM CEO, often wonders if the dedicated founders who worked through those early years, could have imagined today’s impressive 40 acre OMM campus. It is a vibrant community of nearly 400 people very engaged in a full calendar of wellness and life enrichment events. The original residences have all been updated and 103 new residences were added when Crestwood opened in 2012. “In the midst of all the changes, there remains a

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rich biblical and theological heritage that we carry on here,” Steve explained. The desire to find better ways to care for seniors continues to expand the vision of OMM. Steve said that it is a huge challenge to continuously adapt to meet the expectations of consumers. The Spann Wellness Center, which opened in 2012, has brought wholeperson wellness to the center of campus programs. Plans are currently underway to replace the assisted living building with a new 40-apartment building that will include larger studio apartments, more one-bedroom apartments and the addition of 2-bedroom apartments. The main kitchen will also be replaced and a new dining venue will be added. In addition, OMM also plans to expand its ability to care for people living with dementia. Adopting the household model, they are now planning for the construction of two memory-care assisted living households which will each serve twelve people. These households will be staffed by self-directed work teams with specialized training that will deliver person-centered care to the elders who live there. OMM has fully embraced person-centered care in its nursing and assisted living environments, adopting the Eden Alternative philosophy of care that focuses on improving quality of life for Elders and their care partners. Seeking to eliminate the three plagues of Loneliness, Helplessness and Boredom, Eden’s Guiding Principles are grounded in ancient truths about giving and receiving care that emphasize the power of human relationships as one ages. The Eden philosophy asserts that no matter how old one is or what

challenges are faced, life is about continuing to grow. Today OMM is governed by a 27-member board coming from churches all over Tulsa. While founded by the Oklahoma Conference of the United Methodist Church, OMM is non-sectarian. You don’t have to be Methodist to live here or to serve on the board. I am also very proud that OMM is able to be a part of an incredible group of faith-based senior living providers who serve the Tulsa community. Together, we stand in a wonderful tradition and we collaborate with them whenever we can to ensure that Tulsa’s seniors are being well served.” Steve also explained that throughout the last 60 years, the success of OMM has been enabled by the philanthropy of several foundations and numerous individuals. “It was their love for their brothers and sisters which has enabled us to serve people the way we do. I would like to take this opportunity to thank our benefactors for their generosity and service without which we could not have enjoyed the success that has characterized these 60 years. Their support laid the foundation for what has become a legacy of excellence and service to seniors "in the spirit of Christ.”

Oklahoma Methodist Manor is conveniently located at 4134 East 31st Street. Looking for a new place to call home? Oklahoma Methodist Manor might be the perfect answer. Call (918) 743-2565 today for a tour. We bet you are going to love it! Emma Ragsdale and her daughter, Sara Bailey

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