December 2013 | Community Spirit Magazine by Community Spirit Magazine

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7700 S. LEWIS AVE., TULSA // 918.491.7700 VICTORY.COM // #victorybelieve JOIN US FOR OUR HOLIDAY SERVICES AT VICTORY Christmas Eve Candlelight // Tuesday, December 24 // 7pm Christmas Day // Wednesday, December 25 // 7pm New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve with Keith Moore // Tuesday, December 31 // 7pm

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DECEMBER 2013

Contents FEATURES 6 Chick-Fil-A, Still Doing Christmas 8 Tribute to Christian Educators 18 Losing Weight for Charity 21 Castle Christmas - A Complete Family Activity 22 A Christmas Gift for Yourself - Stopping Tobacco 26 A Christmas Recipe from The Hamlet 28 EWomen Conference Coming to Tulsa! 34 ORU Section 39 The Hope - Live Christmas Performance COLUMNS 19 The Biggest Loser 24 ACT Financial Services 27 Cornerstone Christian Counseling 33 Grace Hospice

PUBLISHER & editor Tom McCloud CREATIVE Director Ramond Walker CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Tom McCloud, Randy Cowell, Dr. Kevin Nieman, Ava Hancock, Danny Cahill www.mccloudmedia.com • www.communityspiritmagazine.com TULSA Sales Office 10019 S. 69th E. Ave. Tulsa, OK 74133 phone: (918) 307-2323 fax: (918) 528-6209 Distribution Community Spirit Magazine is distributed to churches, schools, restaurants, Christian bookstores, and other businesses. Call us today to deliver to your church. Community Spirit Magazine is published monthly by McCloud Media. Claims by advertisers and the opinions of writers within this publication do not necessarily represent the views of Community Spirit Magazine or its publisher, Equipment Publications, Inc. Philippians 2:1-2 “If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from His love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.” Our Mission: 1. Build Community – Develop a sense of community among all local believers in Christ 2. Inspire Good Works 3. Support Families 4. Share the Good News of Jesus Christ Fan us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/CommunitySpiritMagazine

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Jack & Wanda

good friends. good food.

good health.

Jack and Wanda have traveled to all 50 states during their 62 years of marriage. Their enjoyable life has also provided two daughters, six grandchildren, and eight great-grandchildren. And they’re not slowing down. Thanks to Hillcrest’s Silver Elite program - a free program offering informational seminars, fun activities, and even good food - they know they have a comprehensive healthcare team to help keep them active and healthy for many more years - and journeys - to come. To learn more about Jack and Wanda’s life-changing experiences in Hillcrest’s Silver Elite program, visit ChangingLivesAtHillcrest.com

SilverElite.org | 918.579.6060 “Like” us on Facebook.

Saying

Merry Christmas is My Pleasure

n this world of political correctness, more and more companies are becoming “Christmas neutral,” themeing the season as some celebration of the winter solace instead of Christ’s birth. Thankfully, Tulsa has a few golden stars that continue to buck the trend, keeping Jesus as the reason for the season. Companies like Nelson Nissan, Jim Glover Chevrolet, Hobby Lobby and Kevin Grover GMC are a few examples of businesses to be commended for their continued willingness to say “Merry Christmas.” We pray you will honor them with your business as well as your respect. But in this culture of guerrilla politics and social media attack campaigns, one company in particular has stood out during this past year, providing us all with an example of the importance of not checking our Christian values at our business door. And 6

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now in the height of the Christmas season, if you walk into most any Chick-fil-A® restaurant, you will note that they continue to unabashedly wish you a very Merry Christmas. Arthur Greeno, operator of both the 71st and Garnett and Woodland Hills Chick-fil-A restaurants, knows the company is different. That difference is the reason he chose to made a career out of serving up those famous chicken sandwiches. For Arthur, it all started back in 1992. He was an art student at ORU and along with his studies, he was working four different part time jobs. With a tough childhood and no financial help from family, he was continually looking for a way to earn enough money to make pay the bills. One of the jobs was a sixdollar per hour gig at the Woodland Hills Chick-fil-A. His boss came to him one day and said, “Arthur, I think you

need a break. I want you to work a Grand Opening in St. Louis.” Arthur explained that this trip was an opportunity of a lifetime. Not only would he get to work 100 hours in one week at time and a half pay, they were going to pay for his meals and put him up in a hotel, something he had never done before. “I was livin’ large that week,” he said with a grin. It was during this trip that Arthur’s eyes were opened to a philosophy that would change his life and his business career. “I watched how the company cared about people and I saw firsthand how Dan and Truett Cathy cared about the owners, their families, and the team members. I began to see how they sowed into people’s lives, including mine, helping us grow. I wanted to emulate that and learn to do the same for others. During that week, I fell in love with the company. I didn’t know how I was going to do it, but I decided that I wanted to someday own a Chick-fil-A,” he explained. In his book, Dysfunctional Inspiration: A Back-roads Story to Success, Arthur told how he prepared himself and got up the courage to mail in his application to be an operator. Not owning a suit, he borrowed one from a friend at school. The coat fit, but not the pants. Little did the Chick-fil-A management know that below the waist, Arthur was dressed in only a pair of Super Grover boxer shorts. “They approved my application, but gave me one of the worst stores in the chain. I took it, determined to turn it around, make it profitable and move up to a larger location. I worked hard and some of the other operators in the area showed me how to save money. I didn’t even know what a profit and loss statement was, but I learned.” Now, it is 20 years and six kids later. Arthur owns two locations, including the one where he first worked back in college, and he is still sowing into the lives of others. In fact, in many ways, he is now mentoring people the same way Chickfil-A management mentored him. His children are all involved in the business to some degree. In fact, he jokes that when people ask where he gets such good employees, he says, “My wife gives birth to them.” “Actually, my kids love it. They don’t really have a choice, but they do love it. Three of my sons work here (ages 17, 15 and 13) and my 11 year-old often works as my assistant. Even the two younger girls join in to help. They love to be my assistant for a day or give out balloons and serve condiments to our customers.” Arthur says that the most important thing they learn in the restaurant is that same philosophy of caring about others. It is a lesson which transcends business. In fact, it may be one of the true secrets to happiness. “Like all kids, mine love to eat at Chick-fil-A, but they also love all the crazy promotional stuff we do. Every Christmas Eve, we give away box dinners at Children’s Hospital to the families who don’t get to be home for Christmas. The kids dress up in the cow costumes, making them look like

Santa or elves.” Is Chick-fil-A “too Christmas” we asked? “No, because of our stance, closed on Sundays and such, people know where our heart is. I believe Christmas is a magical time. It was when Jesus Christ was born. We are never going to hide from that. It is never a thought or discussion.” At the restaurant, Arthur continually tries to provide simple ways for people to give to others. For instance, for only $5.50, you can currently purchase a box meal that will be taken to the homeless shelters downtown. And during the “lights on ceremony,” people were given the opportunity to bring in can goods in exchange for a free sandwich and a coupon for a Dr. Pepper. “We all need to learn to do Christmas all year long. Living Christmas is actually easy. We just need to choose to do it. We all have many things we can give and we don’t do it because we think people will think we are weird. But there are so many things we can do for other people, maybe just giving them a gift of praise or affirmation. We don’t have to go purchase them something from Target, it can be as easy as writing a handwritten note.” And when we give that gift and they say thank you, what should we say in return? “My pleasure, of course,” Arthur said with a smile. Stop in at either of Arthur’s locations and say thank you for their positive stance on Christmas. And while you are there, order up a tray of incredible Chick-fil-A sandwiches. The make a great Christmas treat. You can call ahead at 918-461-0777. D ECEMB ER 2013 Communitysp ir itmagaz ine.com

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s r o t a c u d E n a i t s i r Honoring Ch . No matter where le p o e p l ia c e p s Teachers are ls are worthy of dedicated professiona

private schools, these they teach, in public or the education re of our nation rest on tu fu e th d an re tu fu ren’s it a our applause. Our child mmunity Spirit makes Co , so d An . es ro he often unsung delivered by these so our kids! for loving and teaching u yo k an Th r. be m ce ch De point to honor them ea s. We ivate Christian school pr r ou in h ac te o wh e those We especially appreciat where you work in environments to es ific cr sa l na rso pe ake understand that you m ly has irit of our kids. God sure sp e th d an d in m e th velop both can use your skills to de ur crowns. some special stars for yo m our e terrific teachers fro th of e pl m sa a ht highlig The following pages be the first specifically, they would em th r no ho we As s. ol scho community’s Christian talents rs who dedicate their he ac te ea ar of ds re present hund to tell you that they re rve their Lord. as they passionately se

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Ruthie Rogers – Augustine Christian Academy a student who longs to “be” another Ruthie, someday returning to Augustine to give back, ready to pour back another heaping portion of love for learning and passion to seek the Savior. That would be just fine to Ruthie. She plans to still be teaching here when they return. Ruthie describes Augustine as a very special place full of great kids and wonderful teachers. The school was founded in 1997 and is a classical, non-denominational, college preparatory school for grades K4 – 12. Teachers are dedicated to educating young people to think and reason from a distinctly Christian worldview. It is their goal is to shape students to serve God and man, and who will strive to make an impact for Christ on the culture. Augustine is a member of the Association of Classical Christian Schools. For more information, visit www.acatulsa.org or call 918-832-4600.

Ruthie Rogers is right where she always planned to be. For as long as she can remember, Ruthie wanted to be a teacher. It was her calling. But while she was a junior at Augustine, her goal became even more focused. She not only wanted to be a teacher, she wanted to someday come back to teach at Augustine. Even as she went away to Pensacola Christian College, she knew she would someday come home. She studied hard, always with the intent of learning to “be” those teachers she so admired. Now, after college, a year teaching in China and another year at another Christian school, Ruthie is back, right where she planned. Although Augustine has more than doubled in size since she attended as a student, Ruthie says that he important things have remained the same. In fact, many of those same people she admired as teachers, are now her co-workers. She couldn’t be happier being able to join in the teaching staff as they seek ways to glorify God and train students to think and act in a Christian way. Ruthie teaches a wide spectrum of classes, from Elementary Latin and Junior High English and Science, to High School English Literature. She loves teaching all ages and explained that because she went to school wanting to “be” Mr. Post, one of her favorite teachers and now the school’s principal, she paid attention in all her electives, knowing that someday, like him, she would be called on to teach lots of different classes. She also remembers taking Math from Mrs. Swenson, another of her favorites. “I was not a very good math student, but I kept trying because I desperately wanted to be like her,” Ruthie said with a smile. English Literature remains to be Ruthie’s favorite, but no matter the subject, her job is to connect with the kids and inspire them to learn. Who knows? Somewhere in her classes there just may be

Augustine Christian Academy is a small, independent, nondenominational Christian classical school dedicated to training students to take the lead in their personal lives, in their educations, and in their communities. The administrators and teachers are committed to providing a classical Christian education for K-12th grade “training young minds to learn, reason, and persuade from a distinctively Christian world view.” The school is located at 6310 E 30th Street in Tulsa.

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Metro Christian Academy Awards of Excellence Rhonda Johnson – Excellence in Instruction (center) If you are a student in Rhonda Johnson’s history class, you better be ready to defend your own opinion. Teaching mainly sophomores and juniors, she wants to make sure they develop the skills to not only form an opinion, but to defend those opinions based on facts. And as they compare, contrast and investigate history, she sometimes hopes they will be offended, as long as in that offense, they might develop a strong defense. After 13 years at Union’s I-High, the largest high school in the state, Rhonda came to Metro, hoping the smaller classes and smaller school would give her an opportunity to build closer, on-going relationships with her students. She found something here she described as “continual community.” “We get to know the students and see them year after year. That gives us a chance to really show them Christ. When they see adults living the Word, it is as big of an impact as we can make,”

Melissa Gastineau - Creativity Award (left) Ancient History is never boring when Melissa Gastineau is teaching. Her students have come to expect the unexpected as she finds ways to bring history to life. When they studied Egypt, she had them embalm chickens, wrapping the dead birds in the student’s own concoction of “natron” and waiting 40 days for them to mummify. And when they studied the Romans and Greeks, she had the students build their own chariots and take turns racing each other. Obviously, the school’s award for creativity couldn’t have gone to a more deserving teacher. The school loves her and she obviously loves them back. Melissa has two boys, both of whom go to Metro. One of them is actually in her class. Their family’s commitment to the school is typical of the Metro community as they invest themselves in making it available to more and more students year after year.

Metro Christian Academy is located at 6363 S. Trenton Avenue. The school offers grades P3-12th and is accredited by the State Department of Education, North Central Association Commission on Accreditation and School Improvement a division of AdvancedED, and a member of the Oklahoma Secondary Student Activities Association (OSSAA). You may learn more at www.MetroCA.com or by calling 918-745-9868.

House: Tuesday, 22nd. Call 918.745.9868 for information. OpenOpen House: January 14th,January Call for Details x164

Nancy Stubblefield – Leadership Award (right) According to Nancy Stubblefield, Metro hasn’t changed as much as you would think in the last thirty years since she first came there to teach. There are more classrooms and probably more students, but she says the attitude and the high quality of education are things that have never changed. Nancy currently teaches Algebra II, “Math is precise. I love its predictability and it reminds me of God’s character traits… orderly and constant,” she says. Nancy was awarded the Leadership Award, mainly due to her work as director of the school’s Diagnostic Center Instruction Center. Dividing her time between teaching and administration, she uses her experience to make a difference in the student’s lives, while being a positive example to her fellow teachers. 10

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How does peer pressure affect your kids? Depends on their peers. At Metro Christian Academy, we believe excellence is measured not only by academics, but also by character. Accredited education. Christian principles. College preparation. Promising futures. We’re Metro Christian Academy.

METRO CHRISTIAN www.MetroCA.com • 918-745-9868 • Limited enrollment available.

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David Mayfield - Mingo Valley Christian School up to them to help Him execute His plan by preparing for those opportunities. “If you don’t work hard, you may be shutting the doors,” he contends. David says he has had to work hard himself, especially to learn how to teach, how to relate to kids and to encourage them. But that work has paid off. And as his students thank him on FaceBook and share their successes with him, David smiles. It was just the answer he hoped for. David Mayfield is this year’s Mingo Valley Teacher of the Year. He has won similar awards in the past. While teaching in Maryland, he was named 1999 County Teacher of the Year and also Math Teacher of the Year for the state of Maryland. Then in 2006, while teaching at Evangelistic Temple School, Community Spirit Magazine named him Teacher of the Year in 2006.

David Mayfield has over 1500 friends on Facebook, an impressive amount especially for a single man in his sixties.

Mingo Valley Christian School is located at 8720 E. 61st Street. They offer K4-12 grades and is accredited by the State of Oklahoma (OPSAC); AdvanceED (formerly NCA); and Association of Christian Schools International (ACSI). You may learn more about the school at www.mingovalley.org or by calling 918-294-0404.

The majority of those friends are ex-students. They didn’t like him much when he demanded excellence from them, but as they grew, so did their respect for “Mr. Mayfield.” To this day, he keeps up with them, encouraging them through life and still helping them solve problems. After 42 years in the classroom, David has cut his hours back a bit. He only teaches until noon, but he never stops caring for this students. At 7:15 in the morning, they can rely on him to be in his classroom, ready to help them make sense out of that seemingly impossible math problem. And after school, many of them go to him for tutoring. He believes God blessed him with a gift…the ability to take the hardest problems and break them down so that his students can understand them. For most, it just gets them through Calculus and Geometry. For others though, it gets them get accepted into the best schools and into successful careers in Physics and Engineering. He pushes his students hard and he refuses to lower the bar, but rather helps them reach it. He believes it is his job to stress them a bit. Math is often hard. Yet he encourages them, gradually making them believe that they can do it. To the “math-challenged” kids, he contends that if they will give him their full attention, he can teach them not to hate it so much. “I may not ever be able to get them to love math, but once they understand how it works and what they need to do, they will absolutely enjoy it more.” In the process, the kids learn that if they put the time and effort into something, they can be successful. He asks them to put God first and to realize He has a plan for their lives. And he explains that God will present them with doors of opportunity, but it is D ECEMB ER 2013 CommunityS p ir itmagaz ine.com

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Ann Holden - Regent Preparatory School of Oklahoma Ann Holden loves, in her words, to see the light bulb come on and to see young minds and spirits grow. She knows the 1st grade year is critical in building a foundation of learning and she takes her responsibility very seriously. She sees teaching as her calling, a way to make a difference. It is her 10th year at Regent Preparatory School. She started in the school’s second year of operation. And although she interrupted her tenure with a few years at home, she has always been connected and she has an obvious love for the school. In fact, her enthusiasm for Regent is compelling. “I am thrilled to be at a school with such a great mission. I love the relationships. Regent has a unique family atmosphere, full of like minded families, teachers and staff all wanting the absolute best for every child,” she said with pride. Ann has been in a position to see firsthand, the benefits of Regent’s classical education. Not only does she see positive results of the

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“Of course, I get very attached to the students. Each year a new crop of enthusiastic kids arrive, ready to learn. I love this age because they love school and love their teachers. It is also a time when some of them begin growing spiritually. In fact, many of them decide to follow the Lord at this age.” school’s “trivium philosophy” as a teacher, she has also been able to watch how the school impacted her own twin girls. Now seniors at Baylor University, their success is a testimony to the great education offered at Regent. Ann has always taught the first grade. She jokes that she “has never been promoted.” “Of course, I get very attached to the students. Each year a new crop of enthusiastic kids arrive, ready to learn. I love this age because they love school and love their teachers. It is also a time when some of them begin growing spiritually. In fact, many of them decide to follow the Lord at this age.” Regent’s small class size is a real blessing, allowing Ann to really get to know every student and their family. It allows her to watch their development very closely and be able to react to any special needs or concerns. Ann grew up in West Texas, attended Baylor and later received her Masters in Education from the University of North Texas. She and her husband moved to Tulsa 20 years ago and she has grown to love it. She says that during that time, she has been influenced by many neat people. She loves her friends and her church (South Tulsa Baptist), but the relationships she has made at Regent have been especially significant. Her positive attitude and infectious smile make it obvious there is no doubt in her mind… “Regent really is a special place.”

Regent Preparatory School of Oklahoma is located at 8621 S. Memorial. The school prides itself in offering its students a classical and Christian education in an atmosphere of faith, love and affirmation. Regent serves grades 1st through 12 and is accredited by the Association of Classical and Christian Schools (ACCS).

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( i n s t ore o nly. ex p . 1 . 3 1 . 1 3 ) To learn more about Regent Preparatory School, visit their website at www.rpsokorg or call for a tour. You will be impressed. Their phone number is 918-663-1002.

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Brittney Burd & Scott Zingerman - Rejoice Christian Schools

Twenty years ago, Brittney Burd & Scott Zingerman were in kindergarten at Rejoice Christian School. No one could have ever imagined that they would grow up to be in the school’s first high school graduating class. Nor would it seem possible that they would both someday return to teach at Rejoice. God works in mysterious ways. Brittney never planned on teaching, but while she was in school at the University of Arkansas, God redirected her steps. Suddenly, it was clear to her that God wanted her in the classroom. She and her husband moved to the Tulsa area and the opportunity opened up for her to come to Rejoice. “God just totally opened that door for me. It was absolutely incredible,” she explained. Now she is in charge of eighteen four year-olds, teaching them letters, sounds, blends and preparing them for kindergarten. Every day is new and exciting for her as she watches the kids grow in their skills and in their knowledge about God and the Bible. Brittney loves her class, but just being at Rejoice is a totally blessing to her. “Everyone puts God first here. Although it is obvious they love to teach, they also love to be disciples, leading by example as they show the love of Christ.” Scott Zingerman also believes God called him to come back to Rejoice. After receiving his degree from Southwest Baptist University in Missouri, and he was accepted to physical therapy school there. But then, Scott felt God calling him be part of the Christian school that Rejoice Christian Schools is building in the Ivory Coast in Africa. He will be the first American teacher at the school when it opens in September 2014. Scott just returned from a recent trip to Africa and says that the Ivorian people are so excited about the school. “It is so important to the people there that their children have the opportunity to get an education and I am encouraged to see so many current Rejoice Christian students excited about missions, and several Rejoice Christian students will even be going to Africa in February 2014 on short-term missions projects In Africa. The hope is that there will be a close connection between the two schools and that this will train and equip students from both countries,” he explained. Until he leaves for Africa, Scott is teaching  Bible and Social 14

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Studies. He enjoys teaching and especially loves the relationships he shares with students and fellow teachers. “The teachers are all awesome, and it is neat to see them in a different light! They have all been so helpful to me and a group of us have even been learning French so we can communicate with the African people.”   Rejoice Christian School has every reason to be proud of these two great teachers. After all, they “raised” them and then God took care of the rest. Scott’s mom is the current assistant superintendent and middle/ high school principal. If you are interested in partnering with Rejoice Africa, then please contact RCS at info@rejoiceschool. com.

Rejoice Christian School’s two campuses are located in Owasso. They offer K3-12th grades and are accredited by the Association of Christian Schools International (ACSI) and the Oklahoma Private Schools Accreditation Commission (OPSAC). Learn more about them at www. rejoiceshool.com or by calling 918-272-7235.

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Pam Vance - Summit Christian Academy every child. She says they are also blessed with a wonderfully supportive administration. The school is non-denominational, but is supported by the Assembly of God, providing everything necessary to make a lifelong impact on each student. When not teaching school, Pam has plenty to do outside the classroom. She has three boys, one in graduate school and two in college. She also has a daughter who is a junior at Summit and that keeps Pam involved in school activities both during and after school. Yes Pam, English is changing. “Google” is now a verb and the Internet has changed the way we communicate. But effective communication remains as one of the most important lessons for success. Thank you for teaching our kids the benefits and the joy of words. They will appreciate it someday.

Pam Vance makes a science of words, thoughts and phrases. The gift of communication has always been fascinating to her and as she teaches, she does her best to pass on the love for turning thoughts into words. Pam teaches 7th-9th grade Literature, Composition, Grammar and Vocabulary, blending each into lessons of faith and life. She is delighted when the light bulb comes on and her students see the necessity and the importance of learning to communicate whether it is within an essay, a research paper or just in normal conversation. She says it is sometimes a challenge in today’s world where kids often think “lol” and “BFF” are actual words and that “for” is spelled “4.” But gradually, with effort and prodding, they learn and are soon thinking and writing in an organized style. She loves being in the classroom and she has found that teaching literature provides her with a wonderful platform to bring faith lessons into the daily curriculum. For instance, one of the kid’s favorite novels is The Outsiders, a book set in Tulsa back in the fifties. “There are many Bible themes within the story and the kids find it interesting to compare the characters to people within the Bible,” she explained. It is only Pam’s second year at Summit. However, she has taught off and on for the last thirty years. A portion of that time she home schooled her own boys. “That experience taught me how different the learning styles can be even within the same family. Some are auditory learners and others are visual learners. Others do best with a hands lessons. Now back in the regular classroom, I do everything I can to adjust my teaching to the needs of every student.” Pam loves the size of Summit. The school is large enough to have the resources needed, yet small enough for everyone to know each other and for the teachers to build relationships with

Summit Christian Academy is located at 200 East Broadway in Broken Arrow. The school offers K-12 grades and is accredited by the North Central Association, and the Association of Christian Teachers and Schools (ACTS). SCA is recognized by the Oklahoma State Department of Education. You may learn more about the school at www.sca-eagles. com or by calling 918-251-1997.

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Jennifer Miller- Victory Christian School don’t have to dictate our own lives.” When asked how she incorporates faith into her lessons, she answers, “How do I not? No matter what I am teaching, I explain that it was God who created it. He is in charge of everything. Therefore, He has made a way for all of us to understand it. Even that tough math problem.” After school, Jennifer devotes her time to her own children. Her 4th grade daughter and her 5th grade son, both go to school at Victory, so she is never far away. And should they ever want to hear a good Knock-Knock joke, she is ready. She has plenty of them.

Like most Christian school educators, Jennifer Miller prays for her students. She longs for them to learn but it goes deeper than that. She prays that they hear the voice of God and trust that His plans for them are good always. She also prays they stay close to God all the days of their lives and that they do what God wants them to do. A 1990 graduate of Victory, she says that she felt totally comfortable returning to teach in the school. It was not only where she graduated, but her husband graduated there as well. And even, after thirteen years of teaching, she counts every day as a blessing. She especially loves 2nd graders, joking “they still love their teachers and want to come to school everyday, but they are old enough to tie their own shoes and go to the bathroom by themselves.” “It is also an age when they begin developing a sense of humor,” she added. So what is the latest 2nd grade joke? It is a knockknock joke of course and she delivers it like a veteran comedian. Knock-Knock, who’s there? Olive Olive Who? O’love you! Teaching 2nd graders has its challenges and though she would hope her kids are and remain sheltered from the world, occasionally, they are exposed to things they ask about during class. Jennifer’s response is always to ask the student to come to her desk or even out into the hall to talk about it one-to-one. “I believe it is best to keep the others ‘in the bubble’ for as long as possible,” she explained. “I simply talk to the student about what God has to say about the subject. I tell them that the world is full of sin, but as believers in Jesus, we are the light. And so we can see things and even ask questions about them, but these things 16

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Victory Christian School is located within the Victory Christian Center at 7700 South Lewis Avenue. The school offers grades K3-12th grade and is accredited by the Oklahoma State Department of Education, the International Christian Accrediting Association and AdvancED. Multiple child tuition and fee discounts make Victory very affordable. No entrance tests are required to become a part of Victory. VCS serves students from over 168 church congregations. For more information, visit their website at www.vcstulsa.org or call 918-491-7720.

why should Vcs Be your school? the distinct advantage of Victory is its full range of quality programs at one of the best prices in the greater Metropolitan tulsa community. Begun in 1979, Vcs is one of the most diverse christian schools in the nation offering balanced quality programs in the arts, Music, academics, athletics, and spiritual life. • spirit-filled, charismatic, word of faith emphasis. • art (all grade levels), Music programs. • access to modern technology including the classroom Performance system, smartBoards, and new Portable science computer lab. • after-school supervision, extended care, or study hall for all grade levels – ideal for working parents. • ossaa—Victory is part of the oklahoma secondary schools activity association, providing an opportunity to compete for district and state championships in music, art, drama, academics, and sports with public schools. • health services with certified school nurse. • small class sizes. special remedial options for students needing academic help. and Much More!

it is not too late to make the switch to Victory christian school. contact the school for our second semester discount special.

Victory christian school now enrollinG! K3-12th Grade | 7700 S. Lewis Ave., Tulsa OK 74136 918.491.7720 // vcstulsa.org

C H R I S T I A N E D U C AT O R S

Martha Steele - Wright Christian Academy

Martha Steele is a ball of fire. High energy and packed with enthusiasm, the 68-year old kindergarten teacher connects with her young students with songs, poems, games and eye-to-eye communication in ways that pulls even the sheepish children into the center of the learning activity. And from the look on their faces, it is obvious they love every minute of it. Even from her earliest days of teaching, she was told she should teach kindergarten or first grade and even when she requested older grades, God had a way of always keeping her in with the youngest children. And in doing so, He equipped her with the energy and creativity to do so. “I rarely get tired. The kids have to go home but I am normally ready to keep teaching,” she said with a smile. Martha began her teaching career in 1968. She recalls that she had 42 first grade students in that classroom. “I went into the bathroom and cried, asking God how I was going to do this. I gave it to Him that morning and He has equipped me and has made it all work ever since then,” she said. Before teaching at Wright Christian Academy, she taught at Eastwood Baptist School from 1997 until it closed. For a time, she stayed home to be with her own children, but even then, God kept her involved with teaching. At the height of Eastwood’s bus ministry, she was in charge of the curriculum for the kids. She wrote songs and lessons and spent three days a week ministering to their families, mainly in North Tulsa. She says it was her outlet to keep her in teaching. A widow since 1994, Martha says she is often alone, but has never been lonely. She believed God when He said in scripture that He would be her husband and He has never failed her. “I am His child and His promise is for me. Every decade of life has been fun, but the sixties are great! I am happier than I have ever been in my life.” Martha has three grown children and seven grand children. She shared the biggest compliment she has ever gotten. During lunch with her class one day, a girl asked her, “Do you have a job?” Martha pondered for a moment and answered, “Well I am your teacher.” Frustrated with her answer, the little girl asked again and again. “But what do you do to make money?” I guess, she thought we just hang out in the classroom all day. It was the best compliment she could have ever given me.

Martha contends that Wright is “hands down, the best school in Tulsa. There isn’t one classroom I would not want my children in. I know these people. I see them in action. I hear their prayers. They are all devoted to preparing these children for what lies ahead. This is such a good place to be, for kids as well as teachers.”

Wright Christian Academy is located at 11391 E. Admiral Place. They offer classes for PK4-12th grade. The school is accredited by the Association of Christian Schools International (ACSI) and the Oklahoma Private School Association Commission (OPSAC). For more information, visit their website at www.wrightchristianacademy.com or call 918-4380922.

Open House: Join us Friday Feb. 10th, 6-8:30pm Open House toAges Feb.36th. Now Accepting - 12th6-8pm. Grade

Visit us online

wrightchristianacademy.com Call for tour 918.438.0922

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lose it for the kids

Community Spirit Publisher Sets Sites on Losing 100 Pounds for Charity America’s Biggest Loser, Danny Cahill to Coach The situation… Poverty, failing grade schools, drugs, absentee fathers and other social problems have reached a crisis point on Tulsa’s Westside. Many of its neighborhoods are among the highest in the county for births to

unmarried mothers, infant mortality, new HIV infections and homicides. Such statistics from this all-to-often forgotten part of Tulsa are evidence that the area is in desperate need of help. The impact of these social problems, crime and poverty is producing a whole new generation of kids, hungry for food, attention and hope. The plan…In an all-out effort to stop the cycle of poverty, Contact Mission, a ministry of Tulsa Neighborhood Network, a 501(c)(3), has recently announced an aggressive “Contact Kids: Teach the Children Campaign.” Focusing on raising up a healthier generation, they plan to vastly increase their outreach to the kids, mentoring, coaching and tutoring them, providing after school programs, and expanding the mission’s subsidized summer-long camps focusing on building both faith and character. And at nearly every event and opportunity, they will continue to ensure that no child is left hungry, giving out meals, along with lots of Christian love and affirmation. The fundraiser…Tom McCloud, Publisher of Community Spirit Magazine has set out to lose 100 pounds for the kids. From 18

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January 3rd through October 3rd, he will sweat, diet and strip off the weight for one reason…for the kids of West Tulsa and surrounding communities. Join in the fight…Hundreds of people are making a pledge to help the kids. They are pledging money for every pound Tom can lose in a 10-month period. You can join in with the fun. Tom’s loss will be the Kid’s Gain! How it will work…Every 60 days, there will be a rally where Tom’s weight loss will be documented by his registered nutritionist. You will be then be billed by email for the amount of your pledge. The rallies and the email billing will continue every 60 days until Friday night, October 3, when there will be a final weigh-in. All along the way, you will be able to follow Tom’s progress as he blogs and writes about the experience in Community Spirit and uses every media source available to speak out about the needs of the kids in West Tulsa. Make a pledge…100% of your tax deductible pledge will go directly to the “Contact Kids: Teach the Kids programs. Contact Mission is part of The Tulsa Neighborhood Network. TNN is a registered 501(c)(3) and has been serving the needs of West Tulsa and the surrounding communities for over 10 years. Can Tom hit the 100 pound goal? Make your pledge today! Then, follow his progress, cheer him on and help raise money for this very worthy cause. Go to www.loseitforthekids.com to make your pledge! Want to change a generation? This is where we begin!

The Coaches... Motivation – He will be mentored by none other than Danny Cahill, America’s Biggest Loser. Danny holds the record for losing the most weight on the show. He lost an astonishing 239 pounds during Season 8 and now is a motivational speaker, uplifting audiences across the world. Nutrition – Lindsay Nieman with Cornerstone Christian Counseling Services will be Tom’s nutritionist, structuring his diet and providing the counseling necessary for long-term success. Physical Training – Tom will be trained by Michael Watkins, owner/ operator/fitness coach at Riverside and the 6th and Boston Fitness Together locations. Michael holds a Bachelors Degree of Health and Exercise Science from the University of Oklahoma and is considered to be one of the best personal trainers in the Tulsa area.

BY DANNY C AHILL

Community Spirit is excited to have Danny Cahill as one of our featured, monthly writers. Whether you wrestle with your weight or not, you will enjoy Danny’s motivating column. We all cheered Danny on when he was on The Biggest Loser. Now, he continues to gain our applause while he shares his testimony with others. Danny loves the Lord and is not shy about telling people about Him. It is a blessing to the magazine to have his monthly article. Be sure to watch for Danny’s article each month.

I’ll start Monday… W

ell, here we are! The first of the year is coming back around and many of those New Year’s Resolutions we aspired to make are long dead. I want to talk to you about waiting until the New Year to start a health-improvement plan. Something happened to me a few weeks ago that really affected me. Let me explain. My friend and favorite director Tracy Trost of Trost Moving Pictures (he once cast me as The Food Critic in the movie “A Christmas Snow”) called me. He asked me to visit someone in the hospital. We set it up and I visited Stephen who was in the hospital for an infection in his leg. He was extremely overweight (about where I began The Biggest Loser at) and had severe edema – water retention in your extremities. I identified with this, because I had gone to the emergency room several times when I was upwards of 460 pounds with my legs feeling as hot as an iron from infection. In fact, I was very close to Stephen’s condition. Being in that hospital room and talking with Stephen brought me back to a place where I had let it get so bad that I wouldn’t even get out of my chair – because it hurt. I gave him a copy of my book, Lose Your Quit, in the hopes that he would read it and get inspired enough to begin a change immediately! Why do we often continue doing things that harm us, knowing it is bad for us, and ultimately wait until it’s almost too late to act? I did – and I know that you are doing it in some area of your life. It’s the “I’ll start Monday” syndrome – the “Last hoorah” blues. One more burger, then I’ll get healthy! Well, I think I made some headway with Stephen. He listened. And the next morning he was reading my book when they came in to let him go home from the hospital.

The next night I received a call from Tracy. “I’ve got some really bad news, Danny. When they let Stephen go from the hospital, a blood clot broke loose and he passed away.” I was floored. I was angry! I was confused. I hung up the phone and asked, “God, why would you send me to him, only to take him the next day?” I know that we don’t know the reasons for everything – and I’ve found peace that we don’t have to know the reason – but for the next week I struggled with that question. I think I know why. I believe that God sent me to Stephen for you. You are reading this, and perhaps you’ve been putting off making that change that you know you’ve got to make. Perhaps you’ve been saying, “On January 1st I’m going to do it!” Well, I have a favor to ask of you. Don’t wait until January 1st; don’t start Monday; don’t even wait until tomorrow. Begin now. Just focus on the next right thing. One decision at a time, you can begin immediately to change your life for the better. In memory of Stephen Peters – 44 years old, Union Public Schools sound & light technician.

PURCHASE DANNY’S NEW BOOK AT THEDANNYCAHILL.COM

D ECEMB ER 2013 Communitysp ir itmagaz ine.com

castle christmas

Castle Christmas at The Castle of Muskogee and The Garden of Lights at Honor Heights Park

elebrate the best of family holiday traditions at The Castle of Muskogee! Take a leisurely drive through Castleton Village, filled with over two thousand holiday inflatables and thousands of colorful lights. The drive through is FREE, and donations are gratefully accepted. Outside The Castle, you can take a hayride or a carriage ride through the Village, ride the ponies or the camel, and visit the petting zoo. Come inside The Castle for old-fashioned family holiday activities. Bring your kids to make ornaments in Santa’s workshop, warm up by the fireplace, and plan your visit with Father Christmas….and keep your eyes open for The Mean Green One, too! Stop in for some holiday shopping with our merchants, and pick up something unique for yourself or a loved one. Get Fireworks for New Year’s Eve celebrations and items from The Christmas Shoppe for your own holiday displays. Sit and enjoy holiday movies for the whole family. Visit okcastle. com for a complete schedule. In nearby Honor Heights Park, the Garden of Lights attracts thousands of visitors. The celebration includes a free drive-through display of over a million shimmering lights displayed throughout the park. Internationally known for its Azalea Festival, Honor Heights Park draws up to a half million visitors annually to its 122 acres, which are planted with more than 30,000 azalea bushes and thousands of trees, beautifully situated among the park’s scenic hilltop drive. Christmas lights are placed on trees, bushes, and structures throughout the park to enhance the natural beauty of the gardens, waterfalls, and ponds. Gates open at 5:30pm nightly, and the event is FREE. Castle Christmas and Garden of Lights Event hours and prices: Drive through the lights at both locations - FREE admission, donations accepted. Both drive-through events are open nightly from Thanksgiving through New Year’s Eve, 6:00pm to 10:00pm. Holiday Activities at The Castle The Castle’s additional events are open November 28, 29, 30, December 1, 5, 6, 7, 8, and every night December 12th through December 31st. Please check the Calendar at okcastle.com for a schedule of each night’s activities. Horse-drawn Carriage Rides - This ride starts in the parking lot of the Castle and travels through a part of the village that is not accessible to cars, so you will see different displays than on the drive-through route. Cost: $10.00 per adult, $5.00 per child, or take advantage of the Family Pack, $25.00 for up to 5 people. Tractor-drawn Hayrides - This ride starts in the parking lot of The Castle and travels through the village on a different route from the car drive-through. Departs every half hour. Cost is $5.00 per person, children 12 and under are free.

Pony rides – A holiday favorite! $5 per child. Camel rides – Experience this exotic way to travel. Be one of the Three Kings for $5 per person. Petting Zoo – An experience for the little ones with gentle farm animals. Gift Shop – A wide assortment of holiday merchandise and inflatables is available. Royal Garden Café - Sit and warm up by the fire, and treat yourself to soups, sandwiches, cookies, hot chocolate, and more. Enjoy watching holiday movies for the whole family. Christmas Merchants – Find unique and handcrafted items from a variety of craftspeople. Visit with Father Christmas - Father Christmas will be at the Castle on Fridays and Saturdays through 12/21. There is no cost to talk to Father Christmas, and pictures will be available for a nominal fee. Please check the calendar at okcastle.com for exact dates. For more information please visit: okcastle.com or cityofmuskogee.com

2 BIG CHRISTMAS DISPLAYS Thanksgiving through New Year’s Eve

A Christmas Wonderland for all 6:00 to 10:00 p.m.

There is no charge to drive through and enjoy the displays. Donations are accepted.

800-439-0658 okcastle.com 3400 West Fern Mtn. Rd. Muskogee,

6:00 to 10:00 p.m.

Like Us On Facebook

MUSKOGEE’S HONOR HEIGHTS PARK D ECEMB ER 2013 Communitysp ir itmagaz ine.com

YO U R

K I DS

I M I T A T E E VERY THING . YOUR INTERESTS.

ok health department

Tulsa Smokers Who Quit For One Day Can Quit For Life Free Coaching by Phone and Free Patches, Lozenges or Gum Help Oklahomans Quit for Good

YO U R H A B I T S . AND BEFORE YO U K N O W I T, YOUR SMOKING.

T Set an example this holiday season. Quit smoking. Call the O k l a h o m a To b a c c o H e l p l i n e or go online for free coaching and free patches, gum or lozenges.

918-595-4226 TSET. Better Lives T h r o u g h B e t t e r H e a l t h . 22

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hink you can’t quit? You can and The Tobacco Free coalition will be there to help you! You are not in this alone. In fact, thousands of Oklahoma tobacco users just like you are resolving to quit smoking and dipping for the entire day on November 21st for the 38th annual “Great American Smokeout.” The Tobacco Free coalition is encouraging all tobacco users in Tulsa to make an attempt to quit smoking this year, even if it’s only for one day. “The decision to quit smoking can be one of the most important choices you will ever make,” said Paula Warlick “Make a plan, organize your support and go for it. Over the next day, month and year, you’ll feel better and you’ll have more money to spend on other things that are important to you.” Support can come from a spouse, friends, your doctor, or professional quit coaches from the Oklahoma Tobacco Helpline at 1-800-QUIT-NOW (1-800-784-8669) or online at www. OKhelpline.com. Free quit coaching, and free patches, gum or lozenges are available for all callers who qualify. The Helpline is funded by TSET (Oklahoma Tobacco Settlement Endowment Trust), the Oklahoma State Department of Health and the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. More than 200,000 Oklahomans have called the Helpline to receive free support. “Quitting smoking is the single most important step a smoker can take to live a longer, healthier life,” said Tracey Strader,

“Quitting smoking is the single most important step a smoker can take to live a longer, healthier life.” -Tracey Strader, TSET executive director TSET executive director. “The Great American Smokeout is a perfect day to join with others in Oklahoma and across the nation to become a non-smoker.” The Oklahoma Tobacco Helpline operates seven days a week. Services are available to smokers and users of other tobacco products. Services are also available in Spanish at 1-855-3353569 or for the Deaf and Hard of Hear through video relay at 1-866-748-2436. For more information about the Helpline, visit www. OKhelpline.com. Other free quitting resources about quitting tobacco include: www.smokefree.gov. To learn more about local tobacco control efforts, contact Vanessa Hall-Harper of the Tobacco Free Coalition by calling 918-595-42626 or via email at vhharper@tulsa-health.org Thursday, November 21st may be the day you put away tobacco forever. Join the Great American Smokeout and give it your best shot!

YO U R

K I DS

I M I T A T E E VERY THING . YOUR INTERESTS. YO U R H A B I T S . AND BEFORE YO U K N OW I T, YOUR SMOKING.

Health benefits start almost immediately when one quits smoking, according to the American Cancer Society: • Within 20 minutes of quitting, blood pressure decreases and pulse rate drops • Within eight hours of quitting, oxygen level in blood returns to normal. • Within 24 hours of quitting, chance of a heart attack decreases. • Within 48 hours of quitting, ability to smell and taste is enhanced. • Within three months of quitting, circulation and lung function improve. • Within nine months of quitting, coughing, sinus congestion, wheezing, fatigue and shortness of breath decrease. • Within one year of quitting, risk of coronary heart disease is lowered to half of that of a smoker.

Set an example this holiday season. Quit smoking. Call the O k l a h o m a To b a c c o H e l p l i n e or go online for free coaching and free patches, gum or lozenges.

918-595-4226 TSET. Better Lives T h r o u g h B e t t e r H e a l t h .

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randy cowell | AC T Fi n an ci al

Social Security Strategies for a Better Retirement

his month we will conclude our four part series on Social Security and discuss the all important question, “When do I and my spouse start taking our Social Security?” Let’s assume you and your spouse are 62. By this time most Americans that have been paying into the SSA know the significance of turning 62. Simple right? Not so fast. Filing at the wrong time can come back to bite you if you’re not careful. Given a couple, each 62 years old, have 81 different filing combinations and strategies. (We will discuss these later). As I am constructing this article, I already know what you. are thinking, “I will just march myself down to the Social Security Office and they will tell me which option I should take.” That may have worked at one time, but due to budgetary cutbacks and the sheer number of persons filing, don’t expect to get much more than basic information. My advice to anyone choosing to stand in line is to be realistic and remember who you are dealing with.

Take the First Step Today many Americans are giving up tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of dollars, in benefit due to poor planning, lack of planning or simply bad advice. According to the SSA 74% of Americans file as soon as they reach 62. That’s right, as soon as they can. There are several reasons for so many filing early. The most obvious is poor retirement planning and the need for income. Taking it simply because you can might not be a good idea. There are several factors to consider prior to making your decision. First, do you anticipate working into your retirement? If the answer is yes or maybe, you should probably wait. Remember until you reach your full retirement age (age 66 24

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PT 4

for most of us), you will give back $1 of SS payments for every $2 you earn over $15,120. After you reach FRA you can earn as much as you want. I have a client that is retired and has filed for SSI payments. He has been offered a great job and now finds himself having to return Social Security benefits. Because his income exceeds the annual earned income threshold, he will lose a portion of his SSI benefit. This strategy is called “Request for Withdrawal of Application” from the SSA. Assuming his request is granted, he will pay back all payments received. There is no penalty or interest charge. The benefit to my client is that his future benefit will increase annually by approximately 8%. GUARANTEED! Another area of planning that can significantly increase your benefits over your lifetime is a “File and Suspend” strategy. This technique has many variations and moving parts but allows for greater income for both filers and could result in hundreds of thousands of dollars of income over a lifetime. These are just a few of the retirement strategies that can benefit you and your family. In many cases they will increase your retirement income hundreds of thousands of dollars. My advice for anyone that is preparing for retirement or who has recently had a change in their work status is to give us a call. We would love to help you and your family navigate the complexities of Social Security.

RANDY C. COWELL ACT FINANCIAL Randy C. Cowell is a columnist and President of ACT Financial Services, Inc. in Tulsa, Oklahoma. He is the author of “God Good-Debt Bad”. Randy welcomes your thoughts and prayers. He can be reached at 918-664-0081 or by e-mail at rcowell@htk.com.

D ECEMB ER 2013 CommunityS p ir itmagaz ine.com

red letter initiative

Filling The Void: A Church Without Walls by mollie my ers

either sleet, snow, ice, or driving rain keeps the mailman from delivering. And neither does it keep one of Tulsa’s brightly shining ministries from bringing Good News and great lunches to hurting hearts. Filling The Void was founded by three guys who grew up in Tulsa – Chris Brooks, Erin Bjornberg, and Kelly Swan – who are connected by their faith, friendship, and calling to help the homeless and needy. The ministry celebrated its 10-year anniversary in October by serving their 60,000th sack lunch. The ministry meets on a parking lot downtown at the corner of 3rd and Detroit on Fridays. The scene looks a lot like a typical church service with two exceptions: everything takes place outside in all weather and there are no walls – literally or figuratively. “We embrace folks. This is designed to be a safe haven and a refuge where lives are lifted up and burdens are laid down,” Kelly says. “We continually remind our crowds that God cares a whole lot more about their future than what they’ve done in the past. We emphasize mercy and moving on to bigger and better things.” 26

Regulars gather early for a good “seat” even though there are no chairs. Friends greet each other with hugs, handshakes, laughter, smiles, and small-talk. There’s worship through music, as artist Dave Lon sings with and for the crowd. Kelly, Erin, or another delivers a mini-sermon – a five to 10-minute message emphasizing hope, help, and healing in Christ. Prayer is offered and sack lunches are served. In all, it takes about 20 minutes. The ministry’s origin is a story itself. Kelly and Erin had two separate encounters with a homeless person within a few days of each other in 2003. Kelly shared how he had been seeking God and asking to be used in the Kingdom. Within days he was approached by a homeless man over lunch and Kelly brushed him off, continuing on his way only to be immediately confronted by God with the missed opportunity. Thankfully, Kelly turned around, sought the man out, found him, and asked him how he could help. The man requested prayer and Kelly obliged - then bought his new friend lunch. The encounter became a model for how the ministry interacts with people who call the streets home or a close neighbor.

C o m m u n i t y Spi ri tma g a zi n e.com DE CE MBER 2013

When asked about 10 years of serving, Kelly replied, “We feel called to do this with our lives for the rest of our lives. We have a long-term vision to be out on the streets 365 days a year in multiple cities. God has provided for us every step. From donors, vendors, and volunteers to churches and companies who get involved. We are so grateful for everyone who comes alongside what we do.” Approximately 1,200 people have served with Filling The Void. Volunteers stuff sack lunches, fold devotionals that go into the bags, deliver the lunches, and serve them one-by-one. Everything in the bags is nonperishable, with the exception of an Arby’s or Chick-Fil-A sandwich that goes in right before an outreach and is still warm when received. So far, there are three Filling The Void chapters – Tulsa, Denver, and Dallas. The ministry also has started some exploratory work in Phoenix, San Diego, Seattle, Portland, and Spokane. Recipients of the lunches are helping with the expansion efforts. There’s an offering bucket at each outreach in Tulsa, which in turn funds outreaches in other cities. “Think about that. The homeless are feeding the homeless. That fact alone changes so many misperceptions of who the homeless are. They’re givers, not takers, and they’ve already given more than $3,000 to buy lunches for the people we serve in Denver,” Kelly says. Unite My City exists to foster a sense of unity in the Body of Christ and is pleased to feature FTV, a registered 501 (c) 3, and its efforts to address the needs of the people who count FTV as their church. Volunteers are welcome to participate in being a part of this incredible ministry. For more information, visit FTV’s website at fillingthevoid.com or sign up to volunteer at fillingthevoid@hotmail.com. Now, go! Be dangerous!

marriages that last

All I Want for Christmas

o…what do you want to do for Christmas? If you’re like my wife and I then you have had this conversation a time or two. It seems like every holiday season, we have the same discussions centering around fulfilling self-imposed obligations. As the end of the year draws near, it’s common to have folks sit in front of me arguing about where they feel they should be for Christmas. Each individual feels a sense of obligation to continue family traditions or jump through hoops to avoid dreaded backlash. Traditions are not bad; however, when those rituals become more important than the people you are celebrating them with, then you have a problem. It becomes so easy to lose focus on what really matters. Every year retailers get Christmas decorations out earlier, making it almost impossible to fully enjoy Thanksgiving. Advertisements begin to bombard you, trying to convince you that you need their product and before you know it, you’re surrounded with lights and Christmas cookies. The proverbial thought of “I have to get presents for the kids” begins to haunt any parent. The non-stop frenzy makes any energizer bunny sluggish, leaving mere leftovers for relationships. With all the craziness the holiday season brings, remember that finding the perfect gift for some distant relative is probably not the most important thing to worry about. Traditions have value and purpose but remember they should never take the place of connecting with those you love. A common mistake I see couples make is that they never create their own family traditions. Once married, the couple feels torn between both sides trying to make everyone happy, and many times it comes

at the expense of their relationship. Setting boundaries and creating new traditions can be challenging and often times be met with opposition from those you love who do not understand. Relational differentiation is when a couple has clear and well defines boundaries. There is something about the holiday season that tests these boundaries and often times reveals enmeshment. Remember, traditions are well and good, as long as they center on relationship. Be careful that your desires are not enmeshed with those of your family, make sure they are truly yours. If you find yourself questioning your own level of enmeshment, simply ask yourself if you feel guilty when you set a boundary with relatives or are you changing your responses to avoid conflict. The use of guilt in conversations tends to expose differentiation cracks within a marriage. This holiday season be intentional about creating your own traditions. Relational differentiation can be difficult to create, but once you have healthy boundaries set, you will find inner peace freeing you to fully enjoy time with relatives, while still protecting your marriage from seasonal craziness.

Dr. Kevin Nieman, LMFT Cornerstone Christian Counseling Services Cornerstone Christian Counseling Services is proud to announce that we are now in our newly remodeled offices. We are also pleased to announce that our new website www.cornerstoneoftulsa.com is active. We are excited about bringing hope and healing to those hurting in our community, blending our Christian beliefs with our professionalism.

D ECEMB ER 2013 Communitysp ir itmagaz ine.com

extraordinary women

EWomen Conference is Coming to Tulsa! It makes the absolute best Christmas present!

o, your kids and your husband want to know what you want for Christmas? Here is the answer… Tickets for you and your girl friends to attend the EWomen Conference on Friday and Saturday, February 28th and March 1st. Its really much more than a conference. It is your opportunity to join thousands of women who are exheberantly involved in America’s explosive Christian Women’s Movement. Julie Clinton, President of Extraordinary Women Ministries explained why this is such a special weekend. “Women tend to be the givers and sometimes never take the time to invest back into themselves. They deserve this weekend and the speakers will help them truly learn to enjoy a ‘Joyful Journey.’ Life has not always been easy for each of the speakers for this conference. They have each had to learn to overcome things in their life to become joyful through Jesus Christ. Here, women will find encouragement, hope and healing regardless of their circumstances.” The EWomen Conference is absolutely packed full of great lessons and music. In fact the mixture of talent and teaching will have you laughing one moment and tearfully praising the next. Extraordinary Women has been putting on conferences since 2002 and they have been in Tulsa every year since 2005. But Julie Clinton explains that their intention is to do much more than simply offer conferences. “Extraordinary Women exists to help draw women closer to the heart of God… everyday. Extraordinary Women is not just a Christian women’s event… it’s a lifestyle. We are excited that women attend our conferences, but we want more than just a few days with you. We want to be a part of your life! It is our desire, our prayer, that through the Extraordinary Women Association we can keep in touch throughout the year and minister to your spiritual needs and help you draw closer to God and those you hold dearest,” Julie said. As they host Christian women’s events and provide resources, they pray that those things will equip women to handle life’s difficulties while enriching their hearts, encouraging their souls and expanding their ministries. There is no wonder why the EWomen movement is spreading literally across the world. 28

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No matter your religious affiliation, you and your friends are going to feel right at home during the conference. The nondenominational conference draws women of all walks of life.

Fantastic Music! Michael O’Brien was the lead singer of the Christian band, NewSong, for seven years. Sensing that God was placing a strong call on his life to step out and minister as a solo artist, he resigned his position with the band and has now been serving in the music ministry on his own for some 20 years. Michael has built a reputation as an incredibly gifted singer/songwriter with a heart for ministering to the body of Christ. Lonestar is celebrating their twentieth year reunion by reuniting with original lead singer, Richie McDonald, a new album, and embarking on an anniversary tour. Known for merging their country roots with rich vocals, the band has achieved ten #1 country hits along with CMA Vocal Group of their Year since launching nationally in 1995.

Incredible Teaching! Julie Clinton, M.Ad., M.B.A., president of Extraordinary Women, has spoken to hundreds of thousands of women as host of EWomen conferences all across America, and is author of Extraordinary Women: Discovering God’s Dream for Your Life, the devotional Living God’s Dream for You, 10 Things You Aren’t Telling Him and A Woman’s Path to Emotional Freedom. A woman of deep faith, she cares passionately about seeing women live out their dreams by finding their freedom in Christ. Julie and her husband, Tim, live in Virginia with their children, Megan and Zach. Karen Kingsbury is a USA and New York Times best-selling author. She is also America’s #1 inspirational novelist, with 10 of her more than 50 novels being #1 on national lists. Best known for her Life Changing Fiction™, Karen enjoys speaking to women’s groups and

reminding them to love well, laugh often, and find true life in Jesus Christ. Karen resides in Nashville with her husband, Don, and their six children.

home mom, and later wrote a series of books on motherhood. In 2000, she founded MomTime Ministries. In 2012, Lisa returned to television to appear on the series, Survivor: Philippines. http:// www.lisawhelchel.com

Carol Kent is a popular public speaker that is known around the world for her compelling, humorous, and spiritually uplifting messages. She is a former radio show co-host and her messages have been featured on Focus on the Family. Carol has been a keynote speaker for various women’s conferences and events. She regularly appears on a variety of nationally syndicated television and radio broadcasts. Currently she is the president of Speak Up Speaker Services, a Christian speakers’ bureau, and is the founder and director of Speak Up With Confidence seminars, a ministry designed to assist Christians in improving their communication skills. She also is the founder of the nonprofit organization Speak Up for Hope, a prison ministry. Carol holds a master’s degree in communication arts and a bachelor’s degree in speech education. She is also on the advisory boards of the Advanced Writers and Speakers Association and MOPS International. http://www. carolkent.org

Lots of Fun!

Margaret Feinberg is a popular speaker at churches and conferences such as Catalyst, Thrive, CreationFest, and YouthSpecialties. She was recently named one of the “30 Emerging Voices” who will help lead the Church in the next decade by Charisma magazine. Margaret has written more than two dozen books and Bible studies, including the critically acclaimed, The Organic God and The Sacred Echo. Currently, Margaret lives in Colorado with her husband, Leif, and her dog, Hershey. http://www. margaretfeinberg.com Lisa Whelchel is an actress, author, and inspirational speaker who began acting at the age of eight to overcome shyness. She is best known for her role as Blair Warner on the hit sitcom, The Facts of Life. Lisa left acting to be a stay-at-

Chonda Pierce is one the biggest selling comedians in the world today, consistently a top-selling ticketed artist of any genre. She has written 8 books, including the best seller Laughing In The Dark (Howard/Simon and Schuster) that chronicles her very public battle with clinical depression. Chonda has six RAIA gold certified comedy projects as well as three platinum RAIA certifed comedy DVDs and was nominated for three Emmy Awards in 2009. She has worked with a variety of people from Billy Graham to Dennis Miller, from Beth Moore to Garth Brooks. And worked with major women conferences around the world as well as guesting many times on the world famous Grand Ole Opry. More important to her is the fact that her sidesplitting stories about real-life is appealing to everyone from babyhood to grannyhood. She is one of the country’s most honest artists, allowing her personal struggles to be the substance behind the laugh. “Comedy can be the greatest tool--so why not actually say something while you’re making people laugh?” she says. Plan now and don’t miss this incredible time. And should your husband strike out and buy you that bathrobe instead of the eWomen tickets you really want… You can treat yourself! Discounted tickets are available up until December 27th.

Friday, February 28th 6:00pm: Doors Open 7:00 - 10:00pm: Conference Saturday, March 1st 7:30am: Doors Open 8:30am - 12:00pm: Conference Lunch Break 1:15 - 4:30pm: Conference

Silver Christmas savings rate for reserved seating – ends December 27th $74.00 Gold Christmas savings rate for reserved seating and Early Entry – ends December 27th $84.00 Lunch is $10.00

Ticket Prices: Basic Registration at the Christmas discounted rate – ends December 27th $64.00

For more information or to purchase tickets, log on mabeecenter.com or call 1-800526-8673.

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AVA HANCOCK GRACE HOSPICE

Question: I have a friend who recently lost her husband and I am at a loss of what to say or do to help her, especially during this holiday season. Any advice on how to handle this?

t can be very difficult to watch someone you care about when they are grieving and it is easy to feel powerless. There are some steps you can take to understand your friend’s grief and determine best way to help her.

Finding that “new normal” is a term we often use in our support groups at Grace Hospice. It is a way of explaining that your journey through the stages of grief leads to renewed possibilities, opportunities and a fresh sense of purpose.

STEP ONE – Learn to understand grief and loss. This step involves taking a look at your own understanding of grief and loss. Many people see grief as something you should work through quickly – something you should just “get over.” The truth is grief is a normal reaction to loss!

At Grace Hospice, we offer free support groups each week that are open to anyone. You can find out more by calling 918-7447223 or visit www.gracehospice.com.

It is not easy to experience grief but the experience can bring a positive result. My advice, is to be supportive to those who are grieving by offering compassion and encouragement. You do not need to try to take away the person’s grief or feel you must “fix their problem.” Remember, there is a purpose and meaning to grief. This will allow you to truly help your loved one through the process. STEP TWO – Be compassionate and caring. Step two involves expressing true care and compassion to help soothe the pain that comes with grief. Here are some basic tips to help you offer that support: Lend them your ear Those who are grieving need others to listen to them more than anything else. Feelings change when a person who is grieving can talk about their feelings out loud and can tell their story. Your gift to your friend can be to listen compassionately, which means to do more listening than talking. Respond with empathy: Simply put, offer the following words of encouragement. What can I do? How can I help? I’m so sorry. It’s okay to cry. Tell me more. Call me whenever you want to talk. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Offer reassurance: Those who are in grief often need to be reassured that their feelings are normal and that in time - as they allow others to support them - their pain will begin to fade and not be so consuming.

AVA HANCOCK, , MS, LCSW

Executive Director, Grace Hospice Ava is Executive Director of Grace Hospice of Oklahoma. Grace Hospice is the largest independent hospice in Northeastern Oklahoma. Ava has been with Grace Hospice for more than 10 years and was named Executive Director in 2010 where she leads a staff of more than 80 employees. Ava received a Master’s Degree in Clinical Social Work and Health Care from the University of Houston. She’s a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and a trained Executive Leader for hospice through the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization (NHPCO). She is also a volunteer and board member of the Case Management Society of America. Ava also volunteers with the P.E.O. Sisterhood as the State Educational Loan Fund Chairman for Oklahoma, assisting women in furthering their educational goals. Ava’s an avid supporter of animal rescue and is the Foster Coordinator and a board member of Great Plains Mastiff Rescue.

Because every moment counts...

Grace Hospice helps you embrace every moment. We provide expert medical care and counseling services to our patients including: � Nursing services 24 hours/7 days a week � Medications related to the terminal illness � Pain and symptom management � Emotional, spiritual and bereavement counseling � Family support services for friends and family Grace Hospice serves all of Northeastern Oklahoma. Please call 918-744-7223 to learn how we can help you and your family.

Phone (918) 744-7223 • Toll Free (800) 659-0307 www.gracehospice.com Not affiliated with Grace Living Centers.

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ORU Brightens Christmas with Free Concert for Oklahomans

ral Roberts University will be hosting a free Christmas celebration concert on Friday, December 6, 2013. The concert titled “The Wonder that is Christmas” is open to the public and begins at 7:30 p.m. in the ORU Mabee Center. Admission is free with the donation of a new, unwrapped toy to the Salvation Army through the ORU Cheerleader’s “Bring Good Cheer” toy drive. A free Christmas carnival for all ages will begin at 6:15 p.m. prior to the start of the concert. The carnival will include holiday games, hands-on activities and free pictures with Santa Claus. The Christmas celebration concert will feature special Christian guests Kelly Ford, Brian Nhira, Jason Swanson and the Victory and Lincoln Christian Children’s Choirs performing along with the ORU orchestra and choir. The inspiring voice of Kelly Ford has graced the ears and souls of Tulsan’s for decades. Ford is a member of SEVEN

and has opened for many dignitaries and celebrities including: President George H.W. Bush, President George W. Bush, Colin Powell, Lee Iacocca, Paul Harvey, Charlton Heston and many others. Brian Nhira has developed his dynamically gifted voice into an instrument used to the glory of God. He has been afforded the opportunity to sing at over 500 events in 14 states and three different countries, including a special solo performance at the National Mall in Washington D.C. Nhira recently released a new single titled “Still Believe.” Jason Swanson is a true innovative composer and arranger who constantly pushes the limits to the sounds an acoustic guitar can produce. Audiences delight in Jason’s eclectic mix of styles and his own innovative versions of pop, rock and jazz numbers. For more information about ORU, visit www.oru.edu.

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ORU Named to Top 100 Social Media Colleges “We are thrilled to have risen so quickly in the rankings and are appreciative of Studentadvisor. com for recognizing our social media efforts to not only reach, but engage with prospective students, alumni, the ORU campus community and friends.” The Top 100 Social Media Colleges list is the only scientifically calculated list highlighting the schools who demonstrate the best uses of social media. ORU was included based upon their social media practices and their virtual flash mob which was described as, “a strategic, well-executed virtual flash mob.” The ORU virtual flash mob releasing the “Make No Little Plans Here” video occurred on Chancellor Oral Roberts’ birthday. The social media effort reached more than 59,900 people on twitter and Facebook. After the first 24 hours the flash mob resulted in 2,439 total views and 900 new visitors to ORU’s website. ABOUT STUDENTADVISOR.COM StudentAdvisor.com offers valuable resources to empower students of all ages to succeed in their educational and career journey. Free tools and resources offered by StudentAdvisor include: ScholarshipAdvisor– a web and mobile application to search, bookmark and share thousands of scholarship listings, helping students save money on their education.

ral Roberts University was named to the 2013 Top 100 Social Media Colleges list compiled by www. studentadvisor.com. The university was named to the 79th spot in 2012 and jumped 19 spots in 2013 to 60. “We are tracking over 100,000 data points,” said StudentAdvisor.com Editor and Chief Dean Tsouvalas. “We’re so excited because we have been incorporating all the new social media components …The folks that have made it onto the top 100 represent the best three percent of colleges and universities who are showing social media excellence.” “ORU is excited to be recognized as an innovator in emerging media communications by inclusion on the 2013 Top 100 Social Media Colleges list,” said ORU Senior Director for University Relations and Communications Jeremy Burton. 36

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MOOCAdvisor– a comprehensive portal that enables students to learn about, locate, choose, review and share experiences about MOOCs – free online courses from a variety of providers. Articles, interviews with thought leaders and lists make discovering a MOOC easy, helping students take advantage of this innovation in higher education. StudentAdvisor is part of the Washington Post Company and Kaplan Higher Education Group. Kaplan Higher Education Group is part of Kaplan, Inc., a leader in education innovation serving individuals, schools and businesses. StudentAdvisor is a proud member of the National Association for College Admission Counseling.

New Degree Prepares Students for Global Impact to work cross culturally as they seek to fulfill God’s will for their life.” Students will take courses in Bible, Theology, Ethics, Apologetics and Missions with a required minor in Business. The degree will equip business minded students to be creative in their calling to have a global influence as they learn biblically sound and theologically balanced ways to minister in local, global and cross-cultural contexts. According to Dr. Tom Mathew, Dean of the College of Theology and Ministry, some of the educational benefits of the program include: • Integrating biblical principles and business concepts for global ministry • Learning traditional and non-traditional ministry in the marketplace • Developing a creative ministry for global influence • Training in biblically sound and theologically balanced marketplace ministry • Preparing for local, global and cross-cultural ministry Students will be prepared for careers in various marketplace and leadership positions as well as church administration, missions, pastors and non-profit leadership. Students interested in enrolling for the new Global Ministry and the Marketplace degree program are eligible for nomination to the Quest Whole Person Scholarship, which offers up to $20,000 in tuition. For additional information on the Quest Whole Person Scholarship Program, visit www.quest.oru.edu.

ral Roberts University announced a new degree program titled Global Ministry and the Marketplace. The new program will be offered through the College of Theology and Ministry and will be available beginning fall 2014. “This competitive new major will prepare students for a life of ministry no matter where they work or live,” said ORU Chair for the Undergraduate Department of Theology and Ministry, Carol Blan. “We specifically created the program to provide business minded students with the knowledge and experience

For more information about the Global Ministry and the Marketplace degree program, contact the ORU admissions office at 800-678-8876 ext. 1or admissions@oru.edu.

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the hope

5 Churches Come Together to Present Christmas Musical The Hope Eastwood Baptist Auditorium December 13-14

hristmas and the hope it represents will come to life for all who attend a unique musical at Eastwood Auditorium. The Hope, a locally produced play with an all-Tulsa cast and original music score, will be presented by not one, but five area Baptist churches. The result is an excellent production. In fact, the audience will be amazed at the talent which has been pulled together from each church. The Hope approaches the Christmas story in a real and poignant way. Its writers know that although Christmas is a time of family, joy and miracles, the “perfect” Christmas is found only in the movies. Unfortunately, the reality is that life can be hard. The Hope draws us into the lives of a family that has experienced life and is seeking to find themselves again. In the process, they discover purpose, love and a different kind of Christmas miracle. Jeremy Rhodes, Worship Pastor at Eastwood Baptist explained. “Life is always filled with ups and downs. But for many people these past years it has only been “down.” Employment challenges, family and relational issues, abuse, addictions of all kinds, rejection and depression have left so many people in our community hopeless. Without hope there is no way you or I can see a positive future. Yet, that is exact what Jesus Christ came to give us…HOPE. This is why we have set out of this journey. To show our community the hope that is found in Jesus, not just at the manger nor His Cross, but at the power of His living-giving resurrection that can changes lives. Many people do not go to church anymore. Either they have been hurt by church or it seems old, not real or authentic, and it doesn’t seem relevant to today’s life and culture. However, if there is one thing our city needs most is to see and experience God’s love through His people who are united with one single purpose and that is to glorify Him and help others. Five churches have come together for that very reason. Our message: HOPE. Our method: The Arts. Our purpose: To Glorify God and give Hope to the Hopeless.” The Hope is has a very special message and if you are looking for that one Christmas play to attend with your family and out of town guests, this is the one. Philip Smith, music minister at Berean Baptist Church invites the entire community. “What makes the Christmas season so special is the Hope found only in Christ Jesus. Five local churches have collaborated together in presenting that Hope in a compelling and inspiring musical live with orchestra, voices and drama. You will hear a myriad of musical genre’s that will inspire and bring you into worship with the only name that offers Hope, Jesus Christ. God is reaching out to us through this wonderful musical that will bring you into His presence and provide you with Hope to live a life that is abundant.” The Hope is presented by Eastwood Baptist, Plainview

Baptist, Clearview Baptist, Living Oaks Baptist and Berean Baptist. Admission is FREE with a suggested donation of a canned food item per person which will go to the Tulsa Community Food Bank. The play will be performed at the Eastwood Baptist Auditorium on Friday and Saturday night, December 13th and 14th. An offering will be taken at the end of each performance to benefit DaySpring Villa Women’s Shelter (www.dayspringvilla. com) and John 3:16 Mission. Dates: Friday, Dec. 13th Doors open: 6pm Performance: 7pm Saturday, Dec. 14th Doors open: 5pm Performance: 6pm Eastwood Baptist Auditorium is located at 949 S 91st East Ave

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