Contents FEATURES 6 Family-Friendly Entertainment at Mabee Center 8 The Lose it for the Kids Variety Show 10 Contact Mission 12 ORU’s 50 Years of Excellent Graduates 24 How to Stop Smoking COLUMNS 22 ACT Financial 23 Private Label Realty 27 Cornerstone Christian Counseling 26 Deniece Adsit 29 Dr. Kevin Nieman 30 Danny Cahill, The Biggest Loser
SEPTEMBER 2014 PUBLISHER & editor Tom McCloud CREATIVE Director Ramond Walker CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Tom McCloud, Randy Cowell, Danny Cahill, Deniece Adsit, Mollie Myer, Kevin Nieman, Cindy Steward www.mccloudmedia.com • www.communityspiritmagazine.com
Distribution Community Spirit Magazine is distributed to churches, schools, restaurants, Christian bookstores, and other businesses. Call us today to deliver to your church. Community Spirit Magazine is published monthly by McCloud Media. Claims by advertisers and the opinions of writers within this publication do not necessarily represent the views of Community Spirit Magazine or its publisher, Equipment Publications, Inc. Philippians 2:1-2 “If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from His love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.” Our Mission: 1. Build Community – Develop a sense of community among all local believers in Christ 2. Inspire Good Works 3. Support Families 4. Share the Good News of Jesus Christ Fan us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/CommunitySpiritMagazine
THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
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Bravehearted Boys” The Superhero Experience Tour Mabee Center Event To Help Super Boys Become Super Men
Mabee Center Johnston Theatre // Saturday, October 11th at 6:30 PM // Doors open at 5:30 PM
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hat little boy hasn’t thrown a bed sheet over his shoulders and dreamed of being the caped crusader, destined to save the world from harm? It is a fun game which seems to cross all cultures. As parents, we laugh as we watch them play, but at the same time, we say multiple prayers, thinking it would be “enough” if they simply became super men and super fathers. But what is so simple about that? It is a scary world out there, full of real-life villains and evil folks set on sapping our boys’ strength with today’s various forms of kryptonite. So what is the perfect recipe to ensure we create great men? Where do we start in a process of instilling a sense of “truth, justice and the American way”? Look! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No, it is a new event coming to the Mabee Center on October 11th! It just may be the answer: the kickstart to getting your boys headed in the right direction. Bravehearted Boys: The Superhero Experience is an all-new connecting event just for parents or mentors and their boys (ages 5-12). It’s not a concert. It’s not a conference. It’s a one-of-a-kind experience strategically designed to help them connect in ways that are boy-friendly, dad-endorsed and mom-approved! The event’s dynamic and experienced facilitators offer parents and boys an unforgettable experience through three levels of real-life superhero training. In between seat-gripping movie clips, interactive challenges and a whole lot of high-energy, hands-on fun, boys barely notice they’re learning important lessons about character, courage and integrity. The result makes it the ultimate parent-son date night, one they will remember from now on. In the process, it will reinforce your values, prepare him to face worldly “villains” and point him toward Jesus, the ultimate superhero! The organizers insist that by the end of the action-packed night, your son will practically be begging you to do it all over again! Through games, activities and movie clips, he’ll learn: He has “superpowers” from God! How to tackle “villains” like temptation and peer pressure! That God’s Word is his superhero training manual! Why mom and dad make awesome sidekicks! Plus, throughout the night you’ll get several opportunities to connect with your son one-on-one. You’ll call out his strengths, pray God’s word over his life, help him answer tricky moral dilemmas and coach him through all three superhero training levels.
Tony Winters, General Manager of The Mabee Center, explained why he thinks this show is important to bring to Tulsa. “As a father of a 13 year-old son, I believe we parents, and for many boys – grandparents, need as many tools as we can possibly have to help raise godly men who love God, but also are equipped to be brave and courageous when they are challenged. We need to be able to help nurture boys that are compassionate towards others and grow to be men of integrity. Our boys are bombarded with negative messages. It’s time we had some positive ones.” Bravehearted Boys was created by Fun and Faith Presents, a ministry organization dedicated to providing both resources and high-energy connecting events that are fun, educational and Biblebased.
Tickets The Mabee Center Box Office will open at 3:00 PM Saturday, October 11, the day of the show. Tickets are available online at www.mabeecenter.com or by calling the Mabee Center Box Office (918) 495-6000. Tickets may also be purchased by calling 1(800) 678-1353.
Prices
Price Level 1 Seating (Reserved) - Floor / Lower Level – Sections A-D (Rows 1-6) - $15.00 plus $2.00 s/c Price Level 2 Seating (General Admission) - Lower Level – Sections A-D (Rows 7 & Up) - $12.00 plus $2.00 s/c *A one-time order fee will be applied at checkout.
Sponsorship Packages Are Available! This show is also a great outreach for your church, youth group or organization! Consider being a sponsor and get some terrific group rates. Superhero Sponsorship - 75 GA (P2 Only) Tickets and SAVE 50%. Recruit For Your Church! Own Your Demographic Area! Receive Free Entry for Group Chaperon Personnel. Also includes customized Marketing Materials and Early Entry for Premium GA Seating. Your price…only $500. Sidekick Sponsorship - 30 GA Tickets (P2 Only) Recruit for your Church! Own Your Demographic Area! Receive Free Entry for Group Chaperon Personnel and Customized Marketing Materials. Also includes Early Entry for Premium GA Seating. Your price…only $300. *Call James D. Smith at (918) 694-6565 for more information about sponsorship packages.
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VeggieTales Live! SILLY SONG SING-ALONG! Mabee Center Expanded Theatre // Friday, November 7th at 6:30 p.m. // Doors open at 5:30 PM
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eggieTales…that favorite TV show of Christian kids and their parents, is coming to the Mabee Center! Imagine the expression on the faces of your children when they see their favorite Veggie in person! Combine that with great music, graphics, cheering kids and a couple of treats from the concession stand and you will have an evening the entire family will love. Just in case you have been hiding under a big piece of broccoli for the last twenty years and don’t know about VeggieTales, it is the most adorable cartoon/live actor kid’s show you can imagine. Within the fun scripts, kids also learn about the Bible and about good moral character. In fact, since 1993, VeggieTales has been helping children discover that God made them special and that He loves them very much! Created by parents raising kids of their own, it is obvious every show is written with the hope of telling stories that will both entertain and inspire. And the VeggieTales crew hasn’t stopped with the TV shows. They now offer a whole line of faith-based products that teach meaningful lessons and make children smile. From books and toys, to games and apparel, there are VeggieTales products to assist you in telling your kids about Jesus. Now touring to bring the fun right here in Tulsa, the Veggies are ready to tell a special story to your kids up front and in person. It seems the Veggies are super excited about their new TV show, but can’t decide which song is their silliest? Chaos ensues when no one can agree on a favorite silly song. To solve the problem, they create a new invention designed to reveal the silliest of all silly songs. But when the machine malfunctions and Jimmy disappears, the Veggies must find a way to get along and get Jimmy back! Throughout the journey, you and your entire family will enjoy singing along with some of your favorite silly songs of all time, including: “Hairbrush,” “Love My Lips,” and “The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything”! And the Veggies will teach you some new songs too, like “Show You Love” from the brand-new DVD, Beauty and the Beet. This rollicking musical review of VeggieTales’ greatest hits is sure to delight families from all over the Tulsa area as our Veggie friends learn to consider each other’s feelings and wishes, and how to be a good friend at all times.
Tickets Tickets are available NOW at The Mabee Center Box Office. It will open at 10:00 AM Friday, November 7th, the day of the show. Or, you can purchase tickets online at www.mabeecenter.com, by calling the Mabee Center Box Office at (918) 495-6000 or 1(800) 678-1353.
Prices
Price Level 1 Seating (Reserved) - Lower Level – Sections B & C Rows 1-6 - $20.00 plus $4.00 s/c Price Level 2 Seating (Reserved) - Lower Level – Sections A & D (All), B & C (Rows 7-19) - $15.00 plus $4.00 s/c Price Level 3 Seating (Reserved) - Lower Level – Sections R & E - Upper Level – Sections AA, BB, CC, DD, RR, EE - $10.00 plus $3.00 s/c Family 5 Pack - (Buy 3 get 2 free) - P2 = $60 - P3 = $42 Family 6 Pack - (Buy 4 get 2 free) - P2 = $79 - P3 = $55 *A one-time order fee will be applied at checkout. *Family Pack prices include all fees (service charges and order fee). *Children under age 1 enter free. VIP Meet & Greet: VIP Seating (Reserved) - Floor (Early entrance at 5:00 PM) - $25.00 plus $5.00 s/c VIP members receive early entrance at 5:00 PM for the VeggieTales Live! Meet & Greet on the Mabee Center Mezzanine. This is a great opportunity to have a photo taken of you and your family with Bob the Tomato & Larry the Cucumber. Be sure to bring your camera or camera phone and we will take a picture for you. You will receive a VeggieTales 5×7 cardboard photo frame to take home. *A one-time order fee will be applied at checkout.
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variety show
VARIETY SHOW Come Have a Great Time & Raise Money for the Kids of West Tulsa! When?
7:00 p.m. on Friday Night, October 3rd
Where?
Cost?
$12.00 per person – General Admission ($10 plus $2 service fee)
Tickets?
On sale NOW at Mabee Center Box Office or online at www.mabeecenter.com.
The Mabee Center
Invitation from the publisher…
There are poor kids on every side of town. But I have gotten to know a group of folks in West Tulsa who are doing a wonderful job of reaching, developing and saving kids from much of the darkness all too present in some of the West Tulsa neighborhoods. I wanted to support them but couldn’t write them a huge check, so I decided instead to “Lose it for the Kids.” In January, I got pledges and set out to lose 100 pounds for the kids. This variety show is the final weigh-in and will not only be a great time to raise additional money for the kids, but also for all of us to have a great time in the process. Please come! I promise… You’re gonna love it!
T.J. McCloud and StephenSpeaks Reunion Performance! It has been years since the duo of T.J. McCloud and Rockwell Ryan Ripperger strapped on the guitars to perform such hits as “Passenger Seat,” “Out of My League” and “Miles Between Us.” Somehow, marriage, babies and life separated them from doing live performances together. Now reuniting for ONE NIGHT, they will delight die-hard fans with some of their favorites. In 2003, together as StephenSpeaks, they traveled the college market, recorded multiple great albums and even made a trip to the
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Philippines where they found out they were superstars with their #1 MTV-Asia hits “Out of My League” and “Passenger Seat.” T.J. went solo soon afterwards, but Rockwell Ryan has continued to entertain large audiences under the StephenSpeaks name. Their charity performance will be something their fans will not want to miss! Word is spreading. The original duo is back…for one evening anyway.
Tulsa Praise Orchestra During the summer of 1995, trumpeter Bob Archer put out the word that he would be forming a new Big Band in Tulsa. This would be no ordinary Big Band. It would
made up of musicians who profess faith in Jesus Christ and also love playing Big Band music. The group quickly worked up a repertoire of Gospel and patriotic tunes and began an extraordinary journey that has taken them to nearly 500 concerts throughout Oklahoma, Arkansas, Texas, Missouri, Kansas, New Mexico, New Jersey and New York. Although the group performs mostly in churches throughout the region, the Tulsa Praise Orchestra has been at the forefront of numerous high-profile events over the years. A number of performances in Branson, Missouri at Silver Dollar City and at the Grande Palace, the historic Coleman Theatre in Miami, Live TV broadcast on “God Answers Prayer” in Santa Fe, New Mexico, performance with famed Evangelist Phil Driscol, performance for US Senator Jim Inhofe and Vice President Dick Cheney, featured orchestra at the recent 125th Anniversary of the Statue of Liberty in New York City, numerous concerts with national recording artists Dave Boyer and Ernestine Dillard and many more. Recently, they performed several events with US Congress Jim Bridenstine and a 2014 event with US Senate Candidate TW Shannon, Governor Sarah Palin, Senator Ted Cruz and Senator Mike Lee.
Ernestine Dillard - Vocalist
the church singing Gospel music in the a ccapella tradition and to his mother who had a successful, but brief career as a Jazz singer in the fifties. After singing mainly for his church and performing in regional theater, Darell moved to Europe in 1994, where he started and began touring with the Gospel Choir, “Perfect Union”. It was not long before he was asked to perform jazz, and Rhythm and Blues. His band, the “Darell Christopher Blues band” produced an award winning CD that featured the regional top ten hit in Germany, “Jealous Man”. He has performed over 1,000 concerts throughout Europe, including, Germany, Switzerland, Austria, and several big tours in France and Spain. His powerful voice is has been compared to Solomon Burke and B.B. King, while others have compared his voice to Joe Cocker with the energy of James Brown. He is fond of saying on stage “Life is good. Let’s have a good time!” and that is just what the audience is given. Not only an excellent singer, but an entertainer and front man, he takes the crowd with him. Whether it is gospel, blues, jazz or any other type of music, Darell Christopher puts his heart and soul into the music. Come hear him sing and “you’ll have a good time!”
Richard Hight
Ernestine wows audiences all over the world. But no audience enjoys her incredible soprano voice more than the people who love her right here in Tulsa. The Bixby native is perhaps best remembered for her April 23, 1995 performance, when she paid tribute to the victims of the Murrah Building bombing. Her heart-felt “God Bless America” medley not only blessed the huge crowd, but was also seen by the national audience. In 1994, she ended a 33-year career as a registered nurse, to pursue music full time. Since, she has sung all over the world with her talents taking her from Paris, to the U.S. Military Academy at West Point, to Philadelphia’s “Let Freedom Ring Concert” with General Colin Powell.
Richard Hight was “born to draw.” In fact, for as long as he can remember, art has been his passion. And although audiences all over the world now hire him as a speaker, teacher, storyteller and motivator, he finds that he continues to communicate best when he has a paintbrush, pen or piece of chalk in his hand.
Wherever she sings, she not only entertains, but also inspires, as her faith rings through every note. Hearing Ernestine sing is reason enough to come to this exciting event.
Richard is from right here in the Tulsa area and has agreed to come perform for us because he loves this community and wants to help the kids of West Tulsa.
Darel Christopher – Blues Singer Darel Christopher says his music can best be described as “Soul Music”, a combination of Gospel, Jazz, and Rhythm and Blues. He attributes his singing style to growing up in
Within the time it takes for the orchestra to perform three songs, Richard will transform a simple bed sheet into a beautiful painting. Audiences are mesmerized as they see him paint furiously and ending up with a masterpiece.
THE CONTACT kids The kids from the Contact want to thank you for your support. They are preparing some special songs for you will enjoy. “High energy harmony,” is what they call it. You will call it “Pure Fun!”
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variety show
Danny Cahill – The Biggest Loser We all watched as Danny Cahill changed seemingly from week to week on NBC’s hit show, The Biggest Loser – Season 8. Initially weighing in at over 450 pounds, the large man with the big smile softened the hearts of the audience. It was obvious he had something different and we all started cheering for him as he motivated America. By the time the series ended, Danny not only won the series, he did the impossible, losing more weight than anyone had done on the previous seven seasons. In just over six months, he lost an incredible 239 pounds! Since then, he has continued to lift up those around him. Not only does he do motivational speaking engagements all over the world, he also works with people right here in Tulsa, helping them to lose the weight and regain their dreams. Danny has spoken at over 150 events for Fortune 500 companies. But he devotes the time to holding weekly fitness Boot Camps right here in town. Danny’s dream was to play music again and he has turned his Biggest Loser experience into an opportunity to do just that. You will be impressed with his ability to see and perform as he shares his testimony that change really is possible.
Contact Mission Local Success Story in the Battle Against Poverty
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ets face it. There are poor kids on every side of town. However, there is a ministry located in west Tulsa called Contact Mission that is up against some of the toughest situations in Oklahoma. In fact, the neighborhood surrounding them has some of the highest un-wed mother rates have anywhere in the country and it therefore plagued with all the social problems associated with this devastating statistic.
“These guys love kids and are making such a big difference in our community that I wanted to help them. Unable to make a large enough impact by writing a check, I decided to lose 100 pounds as a fundraiser. Check out LoseItforTheKids.com for more information.” -Tom McCloud, Publisher Contact Mission is a part of Tulsa Neighborhood Networks, Inc., a 501(c)(3) not-for-profit corporation, that has been serving families living in low-income neighborhoods in Tulsa since 1998. Contact Mission addresses needs and plants seeds of hope with our neighbors living in poverty. With its ministry center located near 51st & Union in West Tulsa, Contact Mission serves the community by mentoring children and teens; by making food, clothing & furniture available; by promoting pregnancy care & education; by providing character training; by housing men rebuilding lives from addictions & incarceration; by providing sober employment opportunities; and by promoting urban ministry training. The urban ministry efforts of Tulsa Neighborhood Networks, Inc. have been recognized by the regional director of Housing and Urban Development, the Oprah Winfrey Show, the Tulsa Mayor’s Office, the Tulsa Housing Authority and Tulsa Public Schools
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“Partners in Education” Program. Contact Mission’s work with kids is especially important. Their “Contact Kids –Teach the Children” initiative is calling attention to issues plaguing children living in poverty. Many of the kids have lives broken in various places — lack of authority, minimal basic life skills, under-educated, and limited or damaging parental involvement. The ministry focuses its urban children’s ministry efforts upon education, specifically, character training; reading and math improvement; and faith development.
Contact Christmas Store One of their best-known outreach efforts is the annual Contact Mission Christmas Store which provides an opportunity for Tulsans in need to shop with dignity for their children. Hundreds of new gift items are donated by individuals, churches and businesses. Parents and grandparents have the opportunity to choose what they want to buy and since gifts are offered at 25% or less of the actual cost, pay for them...themselves!
The Tulsa World, Christian Standard, The Christian Chronicle, and Community Spirit, as well as local & regional foundations, have echoed the fact that Tulsa Neighborhood Networks, Inc. is meeting needs in the community. Contact Kids Club In the Fall of 2010, Contact Kids Club (CKC) began after school in a public housing neighborhood. CKC offers help with homework, games, crafts, character training and positive adult interaction for elementary age children living on Tulsa’s West side. CKC has spread to another neighborhood and meets with twentyto-thirty kids one afternoon each week during the school year.
Summer Camps Summer camps for children have been an integral part of the Contact Mission effort. During each of the past 3 Summers, Camp Contact (Camp) has welcomed 80 elementary-aged kids living in low-income areas throughout Tulsa to participate in a month-long, VBS-style, day-camp. Activities include: mentoring; Bible classes; a reading program; crafts; games; character training; worship; hot meals & snacks; daily round-trip transportation; and weekly field trips. Parents pay $7 per child for Camp.
Contact Kids Night
provides a hot, nutritionally balanced meal; a faith-based character lesson and activities/games for elementary age kids living in lowincome neighborhoods in West, East and South Tulsa. CKN continues building positive relationships with 25-45 kids each week during the school year.
Partners in Education As Partners in Education with Tulsa Public Schools, the Contact Mission Team is a regular presence in two of the elementary schools on Tulsa’s West side, and other schools where Contact kids attend. The Contact Mission Team eats with students, reads with students, assists with standardized testing, meets with teachers and advocates for students and families.
Sunday School As an urban mission point, Contact Mission operates a bus ministry for children and families to attend Sunday School and Worship services at Contact Church of Christ on Tulsa’s West side. After services most weeks, a hot meal is provided for anyone present.
Tutoring Most of the money being raised by Tom McCloud’s Lose it for the Kids weight loss challenge is going directly to helping kids at risk of academically. This tutoring program will match at-risk elementary readers with caring tutors/mentors. Additionally, the program will include a character-building lesson and serve a hot meal. This 1-on1 experience for children has proven to give the love and help kids need to achieve success in academics as well as in life. Tulsa Neighborhood Networks and all of the efforts by Contact Mission are making a difference in the lives of Tulsa families. You can help by making a financial donation and/or donating your time as a volunteer. Contact Tulsa Neighborhood Networks, Inc. 1529 West 49th Street, Tulsa, OK 74107 918-447-1130
Life Altering Statistics Nearly 1 in 3 Oklahoma children live in poverty The impact of fatherlessness on kids directly or indirectly results in: 63% of all youth suicides 90% of homeless/runaway youths 70% of juvenile offenders 71% of high school dropouts 73.4% of Oklahoma’s 4th graders read below proficiency; percentages increase for children living in high poverty. Children living in single parent families are 2-3 times more likely to have emotional & behavioral problems than children in two parent families.
During the Spring of 2013, Contact Mission began picking up kids on Tuesday evenings for Contact Kids Night (CKN). CKN
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50 Years of Excellence
MEMBERS OF THE FIRST AND 50TH GRADUATING CLASSES SHARE THEIR STORIES
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ral Roberts University welcomed the 50th freshman class this fall. The university, which was opened in 1965 by Chancellor Oral Roberts, is celebrating the milestone class just one year before its 50th anniversary. “Tens of thousands of students from around the globe have had life-changing moments at ORU,” said ORU President William M. Wilson. “We look forward to welcoming this 50th incoming class and seeing how God will shape their lives as we continue to build up Spirit-empowered leaders to impact their world.” The opening week for this 50th freshman class was filled with excitement and anticipation. The week kicked off with the move into the dorms, followed by an evening of student orientation known as Arise. During Arise student leaders helped new students move into the dorms, learn about the campus and its history and get connected with peers. The evening ended with a special reception with faculty, administration and the 50th freshman class
along with a few member from ORU’s first class in 1965. The new year has begun and anyone would be impressed with the caliber of the incoming students. Like the 50 classes before them, they get up each day anxious to serve the Lord, their campus and the city of Tulsa. This incoming class marks the start of the 50th anniversary celebrations for the university. ORU will also celebrate its 50th anniversary in 2015-16 academic year starting in the fall of 2015. The celebration will come to a close with the 50th graduating class in 2017. ORU continues to bless students and their families. In the process, Tulsa is blessed to have these kids around town. Now, if we can just encourage them to stay long after graduation! For more information about ORU, visit www.oru.edu.
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Dr. Dave Eland
THE ALPHA CLASS OF 1969
IT’S FAMILY HERITAGE...
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any things have changed since Dave Eland arrived on the Oral Roberts University campus in 1965. There weren’t many buildings back then, but there was a lot of excitement and he loved every minute of it. For Dave, choosing ORU was a natural, family affair. His parents moved to Tulsa from Denver to be close to the school and his father, Gene Eland, a musician, went to work at the university’s music department, where he would ultimately serve as the faculty chair for over 25 years. Dave’s mom also worked at the university and four out of five of the kids would end up attending there as well. (One went straight to the mission field instead of going to college). Both Dave and his brother Don would spend their careers here and ultimately retire from the university. When Dave first stepped onto the ORU campus, he never thought he would become a professor. While pursuing his undergraduate degree, he realized he had a knack for eeking out an understanding of things and then explaining it to others. “By the time I graduated, it was evident that teaching was what I should do,” he said with a grin. But the ties to ORU didn’t stop with his immediate family. Dave met his wife, Patty, on the ORU campus and he went to work for the university the Monday after graduation. He and Patty were married soon after and Dave began teaching on campus as he worked on a Masters in Physics at the University of Tulsa. Later, he made the decision to leave Tulsa, only long enough to earn his Ph.D. in the brand new field of Computer Science from the
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University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. Returning to ORU in 1975, he developed the school’s first Computer Science major. He would be in that role until his retirement in 2012. Dave and Patty remain closely tied to the school and Dave goes to campus at least twice a week to play racquetball. Crediting the university’s Whole Person model, he keeps fit and engaged with the students and his friends on campus. He and Patty travel whenever possible, especially to see their eleven grandchildren. Dave jokes that through the years, he did some after-hours software development “to support his teaching habit.” Today, he does some consulting “to support his retirement habit,” he said with a chuckle. However, he loves what he does and likes to stay active and working. No matter where Dave is, you can’t remove ORU and Tulsa out of this professor. In his 43 years of teaching, he impacted thousands of students, helping them to learn the science of computers, while focusing their lives on serving their Lord. He still runs into past students around town, and like all ORU grads, they have a common bond, both in their love for their Savior and their love for the heritage of this fine school. Listening to that calling, Dr. Eland helped build an incredible university, one which daily develops more like him, finding the best and newest ways to “eek out an understanding of things and explain it to others.”
Christa Hill
THE ALPHA CLASS OF 1969
PROUD OF THE ORU FAMILY...
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orn in Vienna, Austria and raised in Lima, Peru, Christa didn’t realize that she was living the future ORU philosophy “mind, spirit, body” as a child at the Pestalozzi school, which emphasized excellence with its philosophy of “head, heart, hands.” After her family moved to Tulsa, Christa continued her interest in languages by studying French in high school. During senior year she learned that ORU would open its doors to the first freshman class and comments: “It was the perfect place for me, with the same philosophy that I had grown up with. I enrolled immediately.” While at ORU she took every opportunity to study abroad – Spanish at the Universidad Iberoamericana in Mexico, French at McGill University in Montreal and German at the University of Vienna for Junior Year Abroad. Today she shares love of travel with students and leads overseas trips. “I love to watch the reaction of students who have never traveled outside the U.S. It is rewarding to see them experience another country’s culture and traditions.” She was the first ORU graduate to be accepted at an Ivy League school for graduate studies, receiving an M.A.T. in French from Smith College, Northampton, Massachusetts. Christa adds: “At that time I began to tutor Puerto Rican students in English and knew right away that God’s plan for me was to teach and to
share what I had learned. I was very shy and never dreamed that I would be standing behind a desk!” Then the words in Maria von Trapp’s autobiography came to mind: To find out what is the will of God and to do it wholeheartedly. These words were even more life-changing, when Christa attended Middlebury College for the M.A. program and met with Maria in Stowe, Vermont. Christa applied at ORU in 1970 hoping to teach French fulltime and discovered that three part-time positions were combined into a full load of three different languages for her. “I was surprised at the time but learned quickly that this was God’s way of preparing me for the rest of my career. I love this kaleidoscope of teaching several languages. Every day brings a surprise.” After marrying husband Scott, also from Europe, with whom she shares common interests in travel, photography, gardening and raising Doberman Pinschers, they moved briefly to Florida then Texas and back to Tulsa to accommodate his work. Christa re-applied at ORU after teaching at the University of Houston and the University of Tulsa where Scott was a law student. “It was the best ‘homecoming’. I consider it an honor and a privilege to work with such great faculty and students. After 45 years of being part of the ORU family, the pride of being with and serving ORU is still as it was that first day as a freshman in the ‘Alpha Class’.”
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SeungJun Hwang CLASS OF 2019
BECAUSE OF...THE PRAYER TOWER
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eungJun traveled over 6500 miles from home to attend Oral Roberts University. He had gone to school for a while in Ohio when he was 15 years old, but the experience was not a good one and coming back to America was scary to him. It was prayer that showed him he didn’t have to be scared and it was prayer that convinced him coming to Tulsa was the right choice. With this in mind, it is not surprising that SeungJun’s favorite thing about ORU is The Prayer Tower. He loves it there and takes great joy in praying there and gaining strength from the other students. “Before coming here, I prayed to God concerning my future. Every time I prayed, I knew God was calling me to study the Bible deeper and be trained for ministry. I ran from this calling many times, understanding the increased responsibility placed on those who are called into ministry. Eventually, after repeated confirmation, I obeyed the Lord and planned to attend a Christian University. I asked God to show me where He wanted to go to school and then my pastor, Young Min Go, introduced me to Oral Roberts University. At first I was nervous about attending school in America again, but my professor, Dr. Ahn, shared with me from his experiences at ORU. I became excited as I heard that the professors at this university teach students from a Christian perspective, and passion stirred within me as I learned about the prayer tower. Through Dr. Ahn’s presentation of the school, I realized ORU is where God wants me to go, and I received peace about studying overseas. I currently have been receiving and inspiration from God for
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my future through all of my previous experiences. I feel that God is alive not only in the Bible, but also in my daily life: “For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account” [NIV Hebrews 4:12-13]. My first inspiration is to let the world see that Christianity is not just another religion, but is literally alive as He lives in you. Second, I want to be a spiritual leader who leads people down a righteous path that is thoroughly based on the Word of God. I am sure that ORU is where I should be and is where I can quench my spiritual thirst. ORU pursues God’s meaning in His word, not through human intent. In today’s world, there are many Christian colleges, but it is hard to find a college that focuses on the Holy Spirit. When I see the foundation of ORU, I believe that my body, mind, and spirit will grow through the whole person education I receive at ORU. I believe ORU is the best place to train me in the Word of God, so that I can effectively complete the plan God has for my life. SeungJun is a wonderful addition to the Class of 2019. Not only is he a brilliant student, his passion about the Lord and his love for ORU is obvious. Should you want to meet him, you will most likely find him where he is the most comfortable…in The Prayer Tower.
Kishel Stubbs CLASS OF 2019
BECAUSE OF...THE CHAPEL SERVICES
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ishel Stubbs’ childhood was spent in the golden sun and the blue waters of the Bahamas. It is home and was the birthplace of her parents. But unexpected changes in her life, combined with a series of God-orchestrated blessings have placed Kishel, her mom and her two sisters in Tulsa and very much into the Oral Roberts University community. When her father, a respected pastor, professor and founder of a large nondenominational church in the Bahamas died, her mother moved to Tulsa to work on her own Ph.D. in Education while her girls attended the school as well. With Kishel, her mom and her sister (a Sophomore at ORU) all in school, they live in a home filled with late night study sessions and busy schedules. Kishel likes Tulsa, “much better than some of the large cities she has visited.” She says it is easier to adjust here because it is not so big and because the people are so friendly. ORU is very exciting for her, although not altogether new. She worked on concurrent enrollment last year, so she was used to campus. However, she has been surprised how she has fallen in love with the university. She thinks chapel has made the biggest difference. She looks forward to each chapel time and says she is
very impressed with the university’s whole person emphasis, part of which is encouraging each student to have a personal relationship with God in order for them to become everything He would want them to be. She also says it is obvious the professors really care about their students explaining that it is not uncommon for them to pray with the students prior to class. Kishel is a member of the ORU track team and says that the 100-meter hurtles are her best event. In the classroom, her passion is the Music Department. She plans to get her undergraduate degree in Music and then pursue a degree in Youth Ministry. Combining the two, she hopes to make a difference in the lives of kids. Ambitious and ready to serve God, Kishel is a great example of the caliber of students attending ORU. Not to be outdone by the 50 graduating classes before them, they are dreaming big dreams, working hard, but also counting on God to lead them right where He wants them.
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John AllenFredrick Voth CLASS OF 2019
Because of The FACULTY...
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hoosing Oral Roberts University was a calculated decision for this Mechanical Engineer student. He knew he wanted to be surrounded by Christian college professors and Christian friends. He wanted to attend a school that was more than only “Christian” in name, but that also had an active presence of the Holy Spirit in campus life. In addition, it had to be a school with a respected, ABET-accredited engineering department. ORU met all of those requirements and was in the top three of his choices, but once he attended college weekend, interviewed some of the professors, and spent some time in prayer, ORU jumped out as his obvious choice. It was not too surprising. ORU runs deep in his family’s veins. His three older sisters made the same choice. Two have graduated and one is currently a junior at the university. His oldest sister and father serve on the school’s Alumni Board. John is a graduate of Metro Christian Academy and comes to ORU with some impressive credentials. While at Metro, he won both state and national awards in Art and was the president of the National Art Honor Society. He was the captain of the tennis
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team and graduated as an AP Scholar with Distinction and as the school’s English student of the year. Though this family’s ORU heritage was important to John, it was not the key factor in his decision. He says the most impressive thing about ORU was how obvious it was that the professors really cared about him. “I got to spend some time with both Dr. Dominic Halsmer and Dr. John Matsson. I could tell they would be a great influence on my life, not just academically,” he said. “I will be able to go lots of different directions with my Mechanical Engineering degree. I wanted to surround myself with good faculty that could help me narrow down my options as to what is truly best for me.” John doesn’t know what his future holds, but he feels certain ORU is a great place to get a great start. And now, after being on campus for a few weeks, he is convinced even further. After all, ORU is not only the logical choice, it is home.
Rebekah Guajardo CLASS OF 2019
Because of... The SPIRITUAL LIFE
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oth of Rebekah’s parents work at Oral Roberts University. So, you would think it would be absolutely obvious where she would go to college, but it wasn’t so simple. It was still her decision. However, during a college weekend experience when she was still a sophomore at Jenks High School, she knew that ORU was the place for her. “As soon as I walked on campus, I felt a peace and knew I had to be here. I was able to be around some of the amazing students and I visited some of the classes. I immediately fell in love with it. My decision was made.” Rebekah’s dad, Dr. Daniel Guajardo, serves the university as the Vice President of Student Life and her mom works in the Nursing department. Now with Rebekah on campus, ORU is truly a family affair and when Rebekah is asked about it, she laughs and says, “Yeah, the legacy continues.” “Weren’t you tempted to go away to college somewhere,” we asked? “Being in the same town as my parents isn’t a problem at all. Once you are on campus, you don’t feel like you are still in Tulsa. Yet it is really cool to get both of those sides…living on campus, being close to home and not having to say goodbye. In fact, I like being close to home. If I forget something, I can run home real fast. I have my independence, but I can also go home and cook dinner whenever I want or do my laundry,” she explained. Rebekah plans to study Business Marketing and maybe add a minor in Accounting and/or Spanish. From there, she will wait to see what God has in store for her.
So what is the biggest reason she decided to go to ORU? “The Spiritual Life,” she said with conviction. “It is impossible to walk on campus and not feel the presence of God everywhere you go. As soon as you get here, people are just pouring into your life and helping you grow and cultivate your relationship with Christ. It is incredible. It really is. I love it!” Though on campus for only a few weeks, Rebekah feels more than just “right at home.” Blown away by the atmosphere, she can’t imagine being away else. And her biggest surprise? “I totally underestimated how amazing the people would be here. As soon as I moved in, I made friendships so easily. Everyone is so genuine and nice and it is just really cool to continue to make those friendships and meet new people.” Rebekah encourages all high school grads that they don’t have to go away to have an incredible college experience. To her, staying in Tulsa offers the best of both worlds. She has the crazy fun of the dorm and everything college has to offer. At the same time, she is close enough to run home anytime she likes. Is she “living at home?” No, ORU is home now.
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act financial
RANDY COWELL
Bridging the Gap for Maximized Social Security Income (pt.1)
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istorically speaking, when our parents and grandparents reached Social Security retirement age, they took their retirement distributions as soon as they could. Usually at 62. There was very little thought given to maximizing Social Security benefits and the thought of waiting to file was not commonplace. “I better take it while I can” and “It’s not going to be around forever so I better take what I can” predominated their thought processes. Even today many Americans approaching retirement feel the same way. EVERYDAY, 10,000 baby boomers turn 65 and approach Social Security planning with questions. This article will discuss the merits of utilizing other assets in order to “bridge the gap” for a better retirement. Before we get too far into how to maximize your Social Security benefits, let’s discuss some of the problems of claiming Social Security benefits prior to reaching your full retirement age or FRA. “What is Full Retirement age?”, you ask. Full Retirement Age is the age at which a person may first become entitled to full or unreduced retirement benefits. Those born prior to 1937 have a FRA of 65. Those born between 1938 and 1942 increase to 65 and 10 months. From 1943 to 1954 the FRA increases to 66 and if you were born after 1960 your full retirement age is 67. [1] Now that you know your full retirement age, the question that needs to be asked is “What will I give up if I claim early?”. If your FRA is 66 and you choose to take benefits at 62 you are looking at a reduction of 25%. If your FRA is 67 you will have a reduction of 30%. Your Social Security income gradually increases for every year you defer taking benefits. The good news is that by deferring past your FRA you can expect an 8% annual increase in income, capping at 32%, when you reach age 70. [2] This could be a substantial amount of future income for you and/or your spouse, especially if the Cost of Living Adjustment (COLA) is applied.
Bridging the gap is a strategy that allows a Social Security recipient the ability to postpone their retirement benefits and still have the income necessary to retire, pay the bills, and enjoy retirement. By utilizing the assets you have accumulated to provide a stream of income to replace your deferred Social Security income, it will allow you a future guaranteed increase in your Social Security benefits when you finally claim. Before electing to claim early there are two important questions to consider. First, “Am I going to work?” If you are you should be aware that if you are married and filing jointly, and if your earnings are greater than $44,000 as much as 85% of your Social Security benefit could be taxed. The second question is “Do I have retirement assets to draw upon that would allow me to defer claiming my Social Security benefit?” Keep these in mind as we go through the example. C o m m u n i t y s p i rit m agaz ine.com
We know by deferring your SSI benefit you are guaranteed an increase in your future benefit. Let’s look at an example. John and Fred are both 62 and contemplating retiring. Each is taking his Social Security benefits. Their Primary Insurance Amount (PIA) is $2,500 per month at Full Retirement Age (FRA) of 66. They both want to work part time and while that won’t replace their preretirement earnings, they will earn enough to cause taxation on their benefits. Let’s look at how their decisions will impact their future Social Security benefits. The first thing we know is John’s benefit will be reduced by 25% when claiming early. Fred’s income will be $2,000 per month by waiting until age 66 to claim. Two things need to be noted. First, John’s Social Security benefits will be taxed at some level, and the COLA increases will be applied to each of their initial benefit amounts. Let’s see how this impacts their future income. When each reaches 70 years of age, by applying a 2.8% cost of living adjustment (COLA), to their starting benefits, John would receive $1,675 and Fred $2,494 per month. If they both live another 10 years, at 80, their incomes would be $2,207 and $3,287 respectively. WOW! That is a difference of over $1,000 per month. Do you know anyone retired that could benefit from an extra $1,000 per month? Obviously, in this situation, Fred would have to supplement his income from other sources and in essence “Bridge the Gap” until he reaches age 66. In next month’s issue we will discuss two well-known strategies used by many retirees and a third strategy that may be the best kept Social Security secret of all.
RANDY C. COWELL, M.S., LUTCF, CFP®, CRPC® ACT FINANCIAL
Time to Bridge the Gap
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Enter “Bridge the Gap” Strategy
SEPTEMBER 2014
Randy C. Cowell is a columnist and President of ACT Financial Services, Inc. in Tulsa, Oklahoma. He is the author of “God GoodDebt Bad”. Randy welcomes your thoughts and prayers. He can be reached at 918-664-0081 or by e-mail at rcowell@htk.com.
The “Yes Women Can” Blog
WATCH FOR THIS BLOG IN EACH ISSUE OF COMMUNITY SPIRIT
From Dreams to Reality BY CINDY STEWARD
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am a dreamer. The ability to dream and imagine has been a particularly sweet gift from God! Through the ups and downs of day to day life dreaming and planning for a future event can my the events of today much more tolerable! I have lived in Tulsa for over twenty years now and each year immediately after Christmas I begin to dream of traveling to Montana in the summer to visit my family. This dream has become a reality for nineteen of the summers! I have just returned from this annual event. It was as wonderful as I had hoped and there were many little children to enjoy and yet another new little one on the way! This trip was especially fun as we had been planning a ‘surprise’ 80th birthday party for mom and all of my siblings would gather to celebrate her! I’m certain you have experienced how difficult it is to get together in these times as families are spread out throughout the country and many other obstacles keep is separated. We gathered at my niece’s brand new house for the big party. And what do you know? The secret had been kept safely hidden, even by all of the excited little kiddos! The plan was set and mom was out of the house for two hours while we were to transform it into party central! Family and friends appeared out of nowhere to help get everything ready. In no time the decorations were up and the stage was set for the party we’d all been looking forward to. The guest of honor was to arrive in just 45 minutes! While we were waiting for mom I spoke with Kelly Ann about how lovely her new home was and she stated that it was a ‘dream come true’ and that certainly piqued my interest. Kelly Ann stated that she and her husband had been dreaming about the home since before they were married! Even then, they would drive around looking and discussing what this home would be like. It took over fifteen years and three other houses but here they were - the dream had become a reality for my entire family to enjoy! As she was telling the story her eyes lit up and her three children would add bits and pieces to the adventure. Although it took fifteen years to become a reality they had a great deal of fun along the way. With the three previous homes they learned what they liked and what worked best for their family. As the children came along they joined in the dreaming and offered their ideas as well. In the new house, each of the children’s rooms were painted in just the right color that they had chosen themselves. Upon arrival they proudly showed me each one! Now their entire family were enjoying the new beautiful home - and so were we for the party! Kelly Ann reminded me that some dreams take a long time to
come to fruition. On the plane ride back to Tulsa, I prayed that God would give me new things to look forward to, to plan on and to ponder. It’s been wonderful to have the annual trip to Montana but this year I hope you’ll join me in starting to dream of something BIG! Even if it takes us the next fifteen years! CALL Cindy Steward AT 918-809-5805 OR Lisa Goins AT 918-289-3919 VISIT US AT www.privatelabelrealty.com
LISA GOINS & CINDY STEWARD Smart Women Buy Homes are professional Realtors who have a passion and commitment to serving the unique needs of women home buyers. Lisa and Cindy are dedicated to making it easy, exciting and a joy for you to buy and own a home!
Cindy Steward Cindy Steward has been buying a selling homes in Tulsa for over 7 years. She currently owns thirty rental properties that provide income for her family. Cindy is passionate about helping other women pursue their dreams of home ownership. She is a licensed Realtor with Private Label Realty. She currently lives with her two daughters now 18 and 13.
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oklahoma health department
Don’t Give Up! You Really CAN Quit! Don’t have insurance? The folks at Helpline realize that many Oklahomans are without insurance coverage, and that many others may have a health plan that does not cover these products. In an effort to help people like you, they are currently working with employers and health insurance companies to negotiate and promote full coverage of cessation services. They are also working with pharmaceutical companies to seek opportunities to make cessation aids more affordable.
Ready to Start?
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s the months pass, so do many of the resolutions we so passionately set for back at the first of the year. Maybe yours was to stop using tobacco but you have “fallen off the proverbial wagon” by now. But relapse into a habit doesn’t mean utter failure. Every day is a new day. Keep trying! Most likely, you didn’t learn to smoke in a day. Maybe learning to stop smoking will be a process as well. But you don’t have to do this on your own! In fact, there are proven tools and professional help available to make this “quit” the absolute last. All you have to do is call and ask. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Most of the people on the Oklahoma Tobacco Helpline were once right where you are today. Now enjoying a life without tobacco, they are anxious to share the ideas and tools to get you past any trouble spots in your “Quit.” The Oklahoma Tobacco Helpline, is a FREE service offered for all Oklahomans with a desire to stop smoking or using other tobacco products. It is offered by The Tobacco Settlement Endowment Trust. Through the Helpline, callers receive one-on-one “Quit Coaching” help, specialized materials, and referrals to community resources. To help keep them on track, callers interested in receiving follow-up can even enroll in the Helpline’s multiple call program in which they will receive a series of telephone based coaching sessions with the same “Quit Coach” throughout their quitting process. If you participate in the multiple call program, you may also receive free nicotine patches, or gum, or they may can assist you work with your Health Insurance Company or health care professional to make a plan for additional treatment.
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If you’d like to quit tobacco now and forever, we invite you to begin your journey with this quality, professional service, and give yourself every chance to make this quit attempt a successful one!
So What are You Waiting On? Call the Oklahoma Tobacco Helpline at… 1-800-QUIT-NOW (784-8669) 1-800-793-1552 (Spanish) 1-877-777-6534 (Deaf or Hard of Hearing) Tobacco use is the most common preventable cause of death. About half of the people who don’t quit smoking will die of smokingrelated problems. Quitting smoking is important for your health. Soon after you quit, your circulation begins to improve, and your blood pressure starts to return to normal. Your sense of smell and taste return, and it’s easier for you to breathe. In the long term, giving up tobacco can help you live longer. Your risk of getting cancer decreases with each year you stay smoke-free. Quitting is not easy. You may have short-term affects such as weight gain, irritability, and anxiety. Some people try several times before they succeed. There are many ways to quit smoking. Some people stop “cold turkey.” Others benefit from step-by-step manuals, counseling, or medicines or products that help reduce nicotine addiction. NIH: National Cancer Institute
the heart of the matter
DENIECE ADSIT
When the Sparrow Falls
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he sky was unsettled. Storms were brewing. And the children were in school. When the tornadoes went through Moore last year, there were many prayers being offered for safety, especially for the children. Yet when the storm had passed and the outcome was apparent, two grade schools had taken direct hits from the tornado. Seven children had perished in the storm. Prayers were offered for all the children…some were found safe, while others had been taken. In our finite human mind, the question all too frequently arises, why? We prayed for safety yet we saw destruction. Two families facing extreme hardship prayed for clear answers to the situation, and for God to open doors for them, to provide for them, to show them favor regarding their jobs and finances. For one family that becomes reality. For the other family the struggles become even more extreme, and the answers seem even more elusive. Two people facing the same physical challenge pray for healing. One is healed and one is given only a few months to live. It’s time like these I have heard the comment, “I don’t know why I bother to pray. My prayers aren’t answered.” I never know quite how to respond to that statement. Any response I can think of comes out sounding trite and stiff. If I say to them, “God has a plan and we don’t always understand it”, that would be true, but it’s doubtful it would provide them with the encouragement they are seeking. If I say, “Don’t worry, He will answer it like you want the next time”, it would be baseless words because that decision isn’t in my hands. What I do know is that God cares, always. And only He knows the future.
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We often look at prayer as just an opportunity to ask for things. In our minds, God becomes nothing more than a “grantor of wishes”. He is God, not Santa Clause. He alone can see everything that happens, and He alone knows the answer to “why” for everything that occurs. So why bother to pray if it doesn’t change anything? It may or may not change the situation, but it changes us. In those instances when we pray, we strengthen our relationship with the One who knows all, sees all, and cares for us in ways we can only imagine. Jesus prayed in the garden of Gethsemane, even though He knew His purpose on earth, and even though He knew it was His time. He even prayed that the Father would change the path that was before Him. They went to a place called Gethsemane, and Jesus said to his disciples, “Sit here while I pray.” He took Peter, James and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death,” he said to them. “Stay here and keep watch.” Going a little farther, he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass from him. “Abba, Father,” he said, “everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.” (Mark 14:32-36 NIV) Jesus was fully aware from the beginning what He would have to do to redeem a sinful people and restore them to a loving relationship with the Father, yet He prayed that the moment could be taken away, that somehow another plan would emerge…KNOWING that everything was possible with God. Just as importantly, He reinforced His relationship with His Father, regardless of the outcome. Sometimes we are troubled by circumstances and situations over which we have no control. At times we are fairly certain of the outcome, even before we pray. But we pray anyway. We pray for the things we desire. We pray to keep the communication with the Father open. And we pray for knowledge of His will, and strength to let God be God…all knowing, all seeing, and all caring. You see, God never promised the sparrow would not fall from the sky. He did promise that when it does, it will be in His care…always.
ABOUT DENIECE Deniece has a passion to minister to women. You are going to grow to love her and the way she tells stories, always getting to the real heart of the matter.
unite my city W I T H
MOLLIE MYERS
Taking October Back
“It’s our heart that churches all over this community that love God, that are serving the cause of Christ, reaching and loving people that they swell during the month of October. That young people come through The Nightmare and give their lives to Jesus and go and serve in your church.” Pastor Bill Scheer - Guts Church Tulsa, OK
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o matter what your view of Halloween may be, it is an opportunity that has been taken by Guts Church for the last 21 years as they present the gospel message through their production, The Nightmare. The Nightmare is a dramatic presentation of life and death scenarios that help illustrate the love and compassion of Jesus and his sacrifice on the cross. The Nightmare in Tulsa has become an annual tradition to attend for thousands of people in the Oklahoma area and around the country. Guts Church has served tens of thousands of people over the years through this outreach, but is aware that one church cannot effectively reach out to all the people who will make commitments to accept Christ during this incredible opportunity. Pastor Bill Scheer from Guts Church is inviting churches throughout Tulsa and surrounding areas to use The Nightmare as a tool they can use to reach the youth and young adults in their communities. Pastor Billy Joe Watts of The Rock Church spoke with with me about their experience last year at The Nightmare when they took a group of about 20 teens and adults: “We view this as an outreach in an outreach. Our goal is to get the Word into our teens and their friends. The Nightmare allowed
us to take full advantage of a high quality, impacting outreach tool and then follow up with those we brought. Last year, we had one young man in particular who was deeply shaken by the experience he had. He prayed with one of the counselors afterwards to accept Jesus’ invitation for salvation. In fact, this year my wife, Theresa, gave him the camper of the year award at our Youth For America camp with John Gray because of who he is becoming. The experience at The Nightmare was a pivotal point in his life. This year, on Friday, October 17, we are having The Rock Night at The Nightmare and will be taking our youth, their guests, and adults as part of our effort to bring the gospel to the people.” Pastor Billy Joe went on to share that The Rock is solidly behind unity in the body of Christ. He said, “We believe in the infrastructure of city ministry. Serving God and loving people means not just loving sinners, but others in the Body. In Tulsa, we partner together and send a message that you will find a group of churches that believe in coming together to impact our city for the kingdom.” By inviting other churches to use this production as an outreach tool, Guts Church hopes this will provide local youth pastors, leaders, and members of youth groups an opportunity to follow up with the guests they invite and bring. This is a tremendous example of one church doing what it does well - and sharing the benefits of that with other churches to take full advantage! With thousands of people making salvation commitments each year, many churches could be utilized to walk with new believers and be there to disciple them after their decision to follow Christ. Together we can take October and make it about Jesus. Churches can get more information or register for The Nightmare by going to www.nightmaretulsa/churches or calling Guts Church at 918-622-4422. Unite My City continues to support the spirit of unity in the Body of Christ in Tulsa - and beyond. You can learn more about Unite My City at www.unitemycity.tv.
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marriages that last
BY DR. KEVIN NIEMAN
The Secret Is Out
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ave you ever kept a secret? Maybe a friend asked you not to share after disclosing something personal. Some secrets are certainly easier to keep than others. Secrets that presumably have no bearing on one’s health or stability are more easily kept than say those that could affect oneself. Have you ever noticed the internal struggle that you feel if it’s a secret that you know should be disclosed but because of your sense or loyalty you fight to keep it in? Secrets within a marriage tend to cause problems. I’m sure that most people do not feel that they are keeping any secrets from their spouse, but I encourage you to take a closer look and see if you are as open as you think. The majority of people today do not trust, and understandably so. We’ve all been hurt by opening up and sharing our heart with someone just to have it rejected in one way or another. One would think in a marital relationship, we need not worry about being rejected or hurt by our loved one. All too often, we experience negative interactions from those closest to us, increasing our likelihood to build protective walls around our heart. Trust (besides Christ, which is a given) is the very foundation of any successful marriage. You can have love, but if you don’t trust each other the relationship will be shallow at best. Trust is the building block that all other aspects of a relationship are built upon. When our ability to trust each other is questioned, secrets begin to undermine the relationship. By the time a couple reaches my office, trust has taken a blow and both individuals are questioning their ability to retrieve it. The stories from so many tend to be the same. The endings will vary, but the beginnings are all too familiar. The marriage starts out great. Two people in love and readily ready to be open and share
thoughts, ideas, dreams, likes, dislikes and fears. Inevitably, it’s not too long before someone misinterprets or responds inappropriately to something that was said. Many times this action is completely innocent and unassuming to both individuals, but little did they know a seed of doubt was planted. No one decides to get a divorce just out of the clear blue. Falling apart is a slow process and one that most of us do recognize happening. From that first hurtful word or statement that you heard from your spouse you felt your heart hurt. Instinctually, we take steps to protect ourselves and deal with the pain. Masking the pain can take shape in countless ways, but for the couples who choose to deal with it and not allow the seed of secret to grow are the couples who enjoy more depth in their relationship. Once you begin to keep your feelings of hurt in, it becomes much hard to express those feelings as continued hurt is piled on. The deadliest secrets kept are those that describe your thoughts and feelings. When an individual does not feel safe to share their heart because trust has been broken, they begin to slowly die from the inside out. The emotional walls continue to grow, making sure that no one will penetrate. These walls which may appear to protect are the very same walls that imprison ones heart. As a couple, commit to being open and honest with your thoughts and feelings. Agree not to keep secrets that can build a wall of distrust between you. Take 10 minutes a day and give yourself a marital check-up asking each other how you’re feeling and if there is anything that needs to be discussed. When you feel the wall of protection go up, take steps to bring it back down. If your spouse is not currently safe to be vulnerable with, then find a trusted confidant and start the process of finding your voice. Dr. Kevin Nieman, LMFT Cornerstone Christian Counseling Services Cornerstone Christian Counseling Services is proud to announce that we are now in our newly remodeled offices. We are also pleased to announce that our new website www. cornerstoneoftulsa.com is active. We are excited about bringing hope and healing to those hurting in our community, blending our Christian beliefs with our professionalism.
CORNERSTONE Christian Counseling Services
Let us help you get your life back on track. Call today: 918.392.4008
4930 S. Sheridan Rd.
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lose your quit B Y
DANNY CAHILL
Who is your WHO?
Community Spirit is excited to have Danny Cahill as one of our featured, monthly writers. Whether you wrestle with your weight or not, you will enjoy Danny’s motivating column. We all cheered Danny on when he was on The Biggest Loser. Now, he continues to gain our applause while he shares his testimony with others. Danny loves the Lord and is not shy about telling people about Him. It is a blessing to the magazine to have his monthly article. Be sure to watch for Danny’s article each month.
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s I mentioned before, people tend to focus on the HOW to get things done. I’ve found that if the “W’s” are the focus, the HOW is no longer the issue. Success happens when the W’s come together! Last article, I focused on the WHY you want or need to accomplish something. Today, I will continue with the WHO’s? There are a few WHO’s you need to think about. The first is WHO can help you. When I wanted to lose weight, I didn’t feel like I could. Let’s face it – I was 460 pounds and could barely walk from my bedroom to the kitchen! I had tried to lose weight a million times! I joined a gym, went on several different diets, and began walking. I saw limited success, but for some reason, I couldn’t follow through; I kept quitting. Perhaps that had to do with my WHY, but it had to do with my WHO also! One evening, I walked into the living room and saw something on the TV. Severely obese people were competing in a challenge. I asked my wife Darci, “What is this?” She answered, “The Biggest Loser.” Then I saw them flash back to the last season as they showed the before & after of last season’s winner. He looked GREAT! He lost hundreds of pounds! This gave me hope, because I had hundreds of pounds to lose. I thought, “If I could get on that show, I could lose the weight! I’d have trainers, teammates, and I couldn’t run away any more!” My
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first WHO’s were The Biggest Loser show (program), Trainers Bob Harper and Jillian Michaels (teachers), and the contestants (competition) who would challenge me to play hard. So I tried out, and after 3 seasons I actually made the show! It was a singles season, which suited me just fine. But in the first week, we got paired up. Liz Young from Tennessee picked me as her partner. At first, I didn’t like this! The first 8 weeks it seemed she always wanted to quit. I encouraged her to continue, and helped her believe she could do it.We both made it to the final 4. Then, we had to run a marathon together. It hurt; BAD! My hip was thrown out and my knees felt like they’d been hit with a sledge hammer! I wanted to quit. But Liz returned the favor and said, “No Danny! We’re not gonna quit! We can do this!” I needed a partner, even if I didn’t want one. My second WHO was my partner Liz. Then I returned home to finish my journey. My wife had cleaned out the kitchen and began eating healthy. She had already lost 49 pounds! WOW! As a family, we ate the same healthy things (the basis for Simply Lose It, my meal plan) and with their support and the financial and emotional support of my church, friends, and coworkers, I, or should say we, ended up winning The Biggest Loser. My third WHO’s were my wife, kids, church and friends. No one can go it alone. We all need support. Even Jesus had 12 disciples to help him accomplish what he set out to do. Why would we think we could accomplish our dreams without others! Others to support and mentor and push you when you need it! We were put on this earth to love and encourage each other. So I have a question: WHO can you help, and WHO can help you? WHO has the tools you need to make your dreams come true? Who is your Liz? Gather a team; Play with a team! A win-win is always better than a win-lose.
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. - Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (NIV)
[Neh. 2:18]
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