February 2014 | Community Spirit Magazine by Community Spirit Magazine

FEBRUARY 2014

Contents FEATURES 6 Karen Kingsbury to Speak at Extraordinary Women 10 You Can Stop Smoking Now! 14 Dr. Tony Evans Urges Men to Man UP 20 ORU Section 24 A Couple Faces and Beats Cancer...TWICE! 26 Pews or Chairs-The Debate Continues

COLUMNS 12 Unite My City - Molly Myers 16 The Heart of the Matter - Deniece Adsit 18 ACT Financial - Randy Cowell 28 Lose it for the Kids - Tom McCloud 29 Lose Your Quit - Danny Cahill 30 Marriage that Matters - Kevin Nieman

PUBLISHER & editor Tom McCloud CREATIVE Director Ramond Walker COVER PHOTO COURTESY OF Karen Kingsbury CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Tom McCloud, Randy Cowell, Dr. Kevin Nieman, Ava Hancock, Danny Cahill, Deniece Adsit, Blythe Fowler www.mccloudmedia.com • www.communityspiritmagazine.com TULSA Sales Office 10019 S. 69th E. Ave. Tulsa, OK 74133 phone: (918) 307-2323 fax: (918) 528-6209 Distribution Community Spirit Magazine is distributed to churches, schools, restaurants, Christian bookstores, and other businesses. Call us today to deliver to your church. Community Spirit Magazine is published monthly by McCloud Media. Claims by advertisers and the opinions of writers within this publication do not necessarily represent the views of Community Spirit Magazine or its publisher, Equipment Publications, Inc. Philippians 2:1-2 “If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from His love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.” Our Mission: 1. Build Community – Develop a sense of community among all local believers in Christ 2. Inspire Good Works 3. Support Families 4. Share the Good News of Jesus Christ

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extraordinary women

Christian Author, Karen Kingsbury to Speak at Extraordinary Women Conference The Mabee Center, Friday and Saturday, February 28th and March 1st

tory telling comes naturally for Karen Kingsbury. Whether she is on stage, encouraging women to live lives of purpose, or at her desk, writing another novel, she uses her God-given ability to weave stories of life into lessons so compelling, women (and men) just can’t get enough. It is no wonder why she is often referred to as America’s favorite inspirational novelist as 25 million copies of her award-winning books continue to circulate from hand to hand, blessing lives at every stop. Karen is one of a list of amazing headline speakers prepared to bring two days of lifechanging testimony and teaching during the Extraordinary Women Conference to be held at The Mabee Center on Friday night, February 28th and Saturday morning, March 1st. Although every conference is special to her, the Tulsa event will be one of many for Karen as she is scheduled to connect with over 100,000 women through conferences all across the country. Unlike the stories within her books, the stories she often tells from the stage typically come from her own experiences of living life with her husband, Don, and their five sons, three of whom were adopted from Haiti. She also shares stories about their daughter, Kelsey, an actress in inspirational films and who is married to

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Christian recording artist, Kyle Kupecky. Karen also often testifies of her own personal faith story of how God proved Himself to her through His Word. She explained to us that she didn’t have a relationship with Jesus when she first met her husband, Don. As soon as they started dating, he told her he was in an “exploring season of his life,” trying to learn more about Jesus. “He would bring his Bible with him on our dates and we would read scriptures and talk about them. But I was very antagonistic to it. I knew what I

beliefs I had always thought were in there, absolutely were not. You might say, I had a ‘scales falling off my eyes moment.’ It was life changing. I called Don and apologized.” The experience and years of subsequent Bible study have given Karen a strong base for both her speaking and writing. “The Lord puts stories into my heart that play in my mind like a movie. In fact, I feel like the first reader. But as I write, I realize He has other hearts in mind.” She says she really has no favorite books,

“We only have one chance to write the story of our lives.” -KAREN KINGSBURY believed and was sure it was in the Bible, but I didn’t know enough to be able to find it,” she recalled. Finally exasperated, one night she took his Bible, threw it on the ground, breaking it in two. He left and she thought the relationship was over, but immediately she started feeling convicted. “Conviction wasn’t a feeling I was used to,” she said. She finally went to a bookstore and purchased a Bible with a Strong’s Concordance. “Within only minutes of study, it was obvious that the manmade F EBRUAR Y 2014

although Ashley Baxter is probably her favorite character. “As I am writing one, it reminds me of my kids, of me cheering the one currently on the stage. But at the same time, I get tearful as I recall other books and the stage of life I was in at the time it was written. I often receive letters about every book and it gives me a chance to have a sweet moment of remembering the story and its characters. As Karen speaks to groups, she routinely tells them to use each day of life to God’s purpose and that every day is part of a

wonderful novel. “We only have one chance to write the story of our lives,” she explained. She invites you to come to the Extraordinary Women Conference. “It is a chance to step out of the ordinary. No day is ordinary. Each one is a gift, but it is easy for us to get into a routine. When you go to this conference, you step out of that routine. It is a time for you to dust off the complacency, step back into life and find that it truly is…extraordinary.”

Come Experience the Extraordinary Women Conference! The conference is absolutely packed full of great lessons and music. In fact the mixture of talent and teaching will have you laughing one moment and tearfully praising the next. Extraordinary Women has been putting on conferences since 2002 and they have been in Tulsa every year since 2005. “Extraordinary Women exists to help draw women closer to the heart of God… everyday. Extraordinary Women is not just a Christian women’s event… it’s a lifestyle. We are excited that women attend our conferences, but we want more than just a few days with you. We want to be a part of your life! It is our desire, our prayer, that through the Extraordinary Women Association we can keep in touch throughout the year and minister to your spiritual needs and help you draw closer to God and those you hold dearest,” says Julie Clinton, President of Extraordinary Women Ministries. As they host Christian women’s events and provide resources, they pray that those things will equip women to handle life’s difficulties while enriching their hearts, encouraging their souls and expanding their ministries. There is no wonder why the Extraordinary Women movement is spreading literally across the world. No matter your religious affiliation, you and your friends are going to feel right at home during the conference. The nondenominational conference draws women of all walks of life. C ommu n ity s p ir itma ga zin e.c om

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extraordinary women (continued)

Fantastic Music! Featuring the musical talents of Michael O’Brien and Lonestar!

Incredible Teaching! Julie Clinton, M.Ad., M.B.A., president of Extraordinary Women, has spoken to hundreds of thousands of women as host of Extraordinary Women conferences all across America, and is author of Extraordinary Women: Discovering God’s Dream for Your Life, the devotional Living God’s Dream for You, 10 Things You Aren’t Telling Him and A Woman’s Path to Emotional Freedom. A woman of deep faith, she cares passionately about seeing women live out their dreams by finding their freedom in Christ. Julie and her husband, Tim, live in Virginia with their children, Megan and Zach. Karen Kingsbury is a USA and New York Times best-selling author. She is also America’s #1 inspirational novelist, with 10 of her more than 50 novels being #1 on national lists. Best known for her Life Changing Fiction™, Karen enjoys speaking to women’s groups and reminding them to love well, laugh often, and find true life in Jesus Christ. Karen resides in Nashville with her husband, Don, and their six children. karenkingsbury.com

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Carol Kent is a popular public speaker that is known around the world for her compelling, humorous, and spiritually uplifting messages. She is a former radio show co-host and her messages have been featured on Focus on the Family. Carol has been a keynote speaker for various women’s conferences and events. She regularly appears on a variety of nationally syndicated television and radio broadcasts. Currently she is the president of Speak Up Speaker Services, a Christian speakers’ bureau, and is the founder and director of Speak Up With Confidence seminars, a ministry designed to assist Christians in improving their communication skills. She also is the founder of the nonprofit organization Speak Up for Hope, a prison ministry. Carol holds a master’s degree in communication arts and a bachelor’s degree in speech education. She is also on the advisory boards of the Advanced Writers and Speakers Association and MOPS International. carolkent.org Margaret Feinberg is a popular speaker at churches and conferences such as Catalyst, Thrive, CreationFest, and YouthSpecialties. She was recently named one of the “30 Emerging Voices” who will help lead the Church in the next decade by Charisma magazine. Margaret has written more than two dozen books and Bible studies, including the critically acclaimed, The Organic God and The Sacred Echo. Currently, Margaret lives in Colorado with her husband, Leif, and her dog, Hershey. margaretfeinberg.com

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Lisa Whelchel is an actress, author, and inspirational speaker who began acting at the age of eight to overcome shyness. She is best known for her role as Blair Warner on the hit sitcom, The Facts of Life. Lisa left acting to be a stay-at-home mom, and later wrote a series of books on motherhood. In 2000, she founded MomTime Ministries. In 2012, Lisa returned to television to appear on the series, Survivor: Philippines. lisawhelchel. com “Miss Kay” Robertson As if the full list of speakers isn’t exciting enough already, now Extraordinary Women has added “Miss Kay” Robertson of Duck Dynasty! Miss Kay is the beloved matriarch of the Robertson family and is arguably the glue that holds the show together. Not only is she (along with her dogs) highlighted in many of the episodes, it is her loving charm that pulls the boys in from the woods, keeps Phil in line, and ultimately brings everyone around her good cooking at the close of every show. Miss Kay has the southern charm to entertain audiences of any size, but the Extraordinary Women audience will especially love her quit wit as well as her passionate love for the Savior.

Lots of Fun! You are going to love Chonda Pierce, one the biggest selling comedians in the world today, consistently a top-selling ticketed artist of any genre.

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oklahoma health department

Don’t Give Up! You Really CAN Quit! Don’t have insurance? The folks at Helpline realize that many Oklahomans are without insurance coverage, and that many others may have a health plan that does not cover these products. In an effort to help people like you, they are currently working with employers and health insurance companies to negotiate and promote full coverage of cessation services. They are also working with pharmaceutical companies to seek opportunities to make cessation aids more affordable. Ready to Start? If you’d like to quit tobacco now and forever, we invite you to begin your journey with this quality, professional service, and give yourself every chance to make this quit attempt a successful one!

s January passes, so do many of the resolutions we so passionately set for the New Year. Maybe yours was to stop using tobacco but you have “fallen off the proverbial wagon” by now. But relapse into a habit doesn’t mean utter failure. Every day is a new day. Keep trying! Most likely, you didn’t learn to smoke in a day. Maybe learning to stop smoking will be a process as well. But you don’t have to do this on your own! In fact, there are proven tools and professional help available to make this “quit” the absolute last. All you have to do is call and ask. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Most of the people on the Oklahoma Tobacco Helpline were once right where you are today. Now enjoying a life without tobacco, they are anxious to share the ideas and tools to get you past any trouble spots in your “Quit.” The Oklahoma Tobacco Helpline, is a FREE service offered for all Oklahomans with a desire to stop smoking or using other tobacco products. It is offered by The Tobacco Settlement Endowment Trust. Through the Helpline, callers receive one-on-one “Quit Coaching” help, specialized materials, and referrals to community resources. To help keep them on track, callers interested in receiving follow-up can even enroll in the Helpline’s multiple call program in which they will receive a series of telephone based coaching sessions with the same “Quit Coach” throughout their quitting process. If you participate in the multiple call program, you may also receive free nicotine patches, or gum, or they may can assist you work with your Health Insurance Company or health care professional to make a plan for additional treatment.

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So What are You Waiting On? Call the Oklahoma Tobacco Helpline at… 1-800-QUIT-NOW (784-8669) 1-800-793-1552 (Spanish) 1-877-777-6534 (Deaf or Hard of Hearing) Tobacco use is the most common preventable cause of death. About half of the people who don’t quit smoking will die of smokingrelated problems. Quitting smoking is important for your health. Soon after you quit, your circulation begins to improve, and your blood pressure starts to return to normal. Your sense of smell and taste return, and it’s easier for you to breathe. In the long term, giving up tobacco can help you live longer. Your risk of getting cancer decreases with each year you stay smoke-free. Quitting is not easy. You may have short-term affects such as weight gain, irritability, and anxiety. Some people try several times before they succeed. There are many ways to quit smoking. Some people stop “cold turkey.” Others benefit from step-by-step manuals, counseling, or medicines or products that help reduce nicotine addiction. NIH: National Cancer Institute

unite my city W I T H

MOLLIE MYERS

Fairmont Terrace, 1983

ost typical 13 year old boys are trying to keep their voices from cracking at an inappropriate moment. But Michael Salerno is neither most, nor typical. He and his twin brother were on their own at 13, after their mom left for a job opportunity that took her to Texas. Michael forged the year on his birth certificate in order to land a job to pay the rent and put some food on the table, all while staying in school. A youth pastor at Liberty Baptist Church bartered with Mike that if he would attend church, karate lessons would be on the house. Mike took the offer and a long relationship with the church, and his Savior began. Now in his early 40’s, Mike and wife Tracie are back at Fairmont Terrace. This time not as residents, but as neighbors, none the less. Mike and Tracie offer a host of services to the kids and families at Fairmont Terrace and hope to pass on a positive impact similar to the one Mike received when he lived there. The Salerno’s launched H.A.N.D.S. Changing Legacies that operates from Fairmont Terrace. Mike and Tracie bring hope, laughter, tutoring, transportation, pure joy, and a living breathing gospel to the families of Fairmont. By doing so, the Salernos aim to change the trajectory of as many legacies as possible. While what they do may be sacrificial, but it is not a hand out. It is a hand held. Serving out of a deep and passionate love for Jesus, Mike and Tracie are as comfortable as their Savior in an area most would shy away from. There are many stories of hope and future that often are overshadowed by the negative news that is all too frequently reported on from P61 (Peoria and 61st). “One of the stories we hope to tell in the near future would be how other churches begin to engage the communities found at St. Thomas Square, The Palazzo, South Glen, and Waterstone similar to the way H.A.N.D.S is serving at Fairmont Terrace. Last year’s violence triggered a wave of responses to Fairmont, but these other complexes are just as hungry.” shared Tracie. “There are scientists, pastors, doctors, maybe even presidents who live in this area (P61) right now. Poverty isn’t a crime or a

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curse - or contagious.” says Mike. “The Church that believes in Jesus and walks that belief out in love is welcome and needed here. We have no corner on the market at Fairmont. This isn’t our “territory” that has been staked out. We encourage all believing churches to come and partner in serving and ministering in this way. Our hope is that churches don’t show up, show off, and ship out. This isn’t an event. These are people who need consistent love and discipleship, not just ice cream and puppets. I don’t mean to sound harsh or unappreciative of churches wanting to help, but it is going to take time and commitment to earn the respect of people in order to share the gospel. Jesus warned us to consider the cost before we begin. I just want to be realistic with churches whose hearts are being broken and burdened by this area.” That’s not to say events aren’t important! Mike and Tracie have played a crucial role in the Peoria and 61st Task Force that is working with the City Council, as well as coordinating with churches to host events for the community. These events can be tremendous catalysts in creating a sense of community, something that has been lacking in an area that sees frequent community turnover. H.A.N.D.S. is working with Unite My City to bring about the P61 Neighborhood Block Party slated for March 29. Churches are welcome and encouraged to participate in both the service aspect that will take place in the morning, and the block party in the afternoon. To contact Mike or Tracie about your church getting involved either in P61 or developing a ministry at another apartment complex, email the Salerno’s at salernosforchrist@gmail.com and check out their Facebook page: H.A.N.D.S. Changing Legacies. If your church would like to join the block party and service day on March 29, please visit the unitemycity.tv website, or contact Unite My City at 918.492.2858 ext 116, or email at mollie@ worldcompassion.tv. Unite My City is honored to both highlight and work with Mike and Tracie, who wholeheartedly embrace the Church working together.

ABOUT UNITE MY CITY Unite My City exists to foster a sense of unity in the Body of Christ and is pleased to feature TOUCH, Inc., a registered 501 (c) 3, and its efforts to foster and promote both unity and hope in our city. For more information on becoming involved with TOUCH, please visit their website at http://touchtulsa.org/ or contact KJ or Kimberly Jackson by phone at (888) 370-5444. TOUCH is open to partner with as many churches as possible and welcomes inquiries.

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RCS Middle and High School Open House On March 27 at 6-8 p.m, at 12200 E. 86th St. N., Owasso. Enrollment opens February 18th. More information call 918-516-0050 or go online at www.rejoiceschool.com for 2014-2015 enrollment applications. Rejoice Christian Schools admits students of any race, color, national and ethnic origin to all the rights, privileges, programs, and activities generally accorded or made available to students at the school. It does not discriminate on the basis of race, color, national and ethnic origin in administration of its educational policies, admissions policies, scholarship and loan programs, and athletic and other school-administered programs.

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man up ok

Be c o me a K ing dom Man! ManUpOK Event - Kingdom Man, March 7, 2014 At Asbury Methodist Church – Venue68

hat is your definition of manhood? What does God expect from us, what responsibilities do we have and what are we truly called to be? In this world of political correctness and gender confusion, men are finding it harder and harder to sort out their proper role in their family and culture. And as traditional definitions are blurred, “the church” is beginning to stand up with the hopes of better communicating the unique responsibilities of the Godly man. An incredible event has been created to help the men of our community to “man up” and be the men God calls us to be. Organizer, Frank Field explains that this ManUpOk event is all about transformation of men’s lives from the inside out. “This event is about raising the standard and defining manhood as God intended it to be. It is about discovering what it means to be a kingdom man. We want this event to light the fire in men’s hearts so that they will seek God and allow Him to lead and guide them into becoming the men of God, husbands and fathers that HE intended them to become. It is our prayer that after this event, men will be inspired to connect with other men at their local church and continue on a long term path of growth, accountability and transformation.” The ManUp Conference will be held at Asbury Methodist Church’s Venue68 building. However, it is a citywide effort bringing in participating churches which cross all denominations, races and parts of town. Men are preparing to come together, seek God’s true call on their lives and “ManUp” to the challenges of being a “Kingdom Man” in these crazy times. The subject matter of the conference is based upon the bestselling book by Dr. Tony Evans called Kingdom Man: Every Man’s Destiny, Every Women’s Dream. As the senior pastor of Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship for over 36 years and as the chaplain of the NBA’s Dallas Mavericks (and formerly for the Dallas Cowboys), God has placed him in an unique position to help men define

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with dr. tony evans

their roles in God’s kingdom. He is one of the country’s most respected leaders in evangelical circles and he serves the Lord as a pastor, best-selling author and frequent speaker at Bible conferences and seminars throughout the nation. Dr. Evans will speak at the ManUpOK Event along with Duck Dynasty’s Alan Robertson, Major Ed Pulido, U.S. Army (Ret.) the Senior Vice President of the Folds of Honor Foundation and founder of Warriors for Freedom Foundation and The Warrior Nation. The music for the event will be offered by Asbury’s Chris Cleveland and multi-talented singer, songwriter, producer, and author, Tony Mason. In a phone interview with Community Spirit Magazine, Dr. Evans explained that he took his example of being a Kingdom Man from his father who proved over and over that his family was the priority. He said that most of those lessons were delivered around the dinner table. It is a model Dr. Evans still attempts to follow. Dr. Evans believes the breakdown of the family is our nation’s biggest problem. “As the father goes, so does the family, so does the church, so does the city, so does the state, so does the country and so does the world. There is a desperate need for men to be seen operating under a need for God,” he said. Although some men did not have the example of a Kingdom Man for a father, Dr. Evans says that the real example is our Heavenly Father and that we can learn all we need to understand the proper role of the father strictly by learning more about Him. In his book and during his talks to ManUp groups, he speaks directly to the men with great confidence. Calling them beyond the world’s standards, he challenges men to step up and be better in every part of their lives. And in doing so, he provides a launching pad for men to begin to be the spiritual leaders God

intended them to be. Come to ManUpOK! But don’t expect some “Kumbaya moment.” This is strictly guy stuff. You will learn what being a man is all about. And you will walk away more of a man because of it.

FRANK FIELD One

the

key

organizers of the event is Frank Field. You just have to meet Frank. His testimony and his dedication to making a difference in other men’s lives will

M a n U p O K b o a r d m e m b e r s F r a n k F i e l d a n d C h a r l e s H a r p e r blow you away.

He explains that for most of his life, he was a lost sheep. Junior High experimentation with alcohol turned into “just part of the routine whenever I got together with friends.” Sex, drugs and more alcohol followed as he got older. Throughout college and his professional career, he established a pattern where drugs and alcohol dominated his life. Although he functioned, even succeeded in business, his secret life of drugs would ultimately damage

his marriage and other relationships. Pot and alcohol soon gave way to pain pills and sleeping pills. There were glimmers of hope, like the time Frank went down front during the Franklin Graham rally. But he walked out of there continuing his ways. There was no change. The years passed but the drug abuse and associated problems didn’t. But then, Frank was introduced to Celebrate Recovery and a men’s class at Asbury called Men’s Fraternity. God began working on Frank. Complete healing didn’t happen over night, but gradually God mended Frank’s heart and his relationship with his wife and others. Frank has a completely new life in Christ and he now gets up every day anxious to share his story and the love of Jesus with anyone who will listen. Meeting him, you would never believe he had gone through so many trials. But through it all, God has turned Frank into a true Kingdom Man. His story is the reason Frank longs so badly for men to come to the conference. He knows first hand the power of the Creator, the One who can truly make all things new again. No matter how deep your problems, Jesus is there to rescue you. The ManUpOK Conference just may be the beginning.

E V E RY M A N ’ S D E S T I N Y . E V E RY W O M A N ’ S D R E A M

MARCH 7, 2014 . TULSA OKLAHOMA

SPEAKER

DR. TONY EVANS PASTOR, TEACHER, AUTHOR & SPEAKER

FACEBOOK.COM/MANUPOK

SPECIAL GUEST

MAJOR ED PULIDO

SPECIAL GUEST

ALAN ROBERTSON

U.S. ARMY (RET.)

FROM THE DUCK DYNASTY

HIGHLY DECORATED WAR HERO

MANUPOK.COM

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the heart of the matter

DENIECE ADSIT

Bumper Sticker Religion

One of the earliest Bible stories I learned as a child was the story of the good Samaritan. When I was younger it was a nice story about good behavior, but I wonder if my actions today reflect my belief that we should be about kindness and love…that our actions should be those of caring for others. Has my world become so busy with self-indulgence that I forget there are those around me hurting? Have I become so accustomed to seeing the homeless that they have become invisible to me?

here is an expressway nearby that, on a good day, is treacherous; and on a more challenging day, I would avoid it if at all possible. My solution to the congestion on those days is to just go steadily along as the traffic allows, and not become part of the “I can get ahead of you” game. It was one of those challenging days where each driver seemed to be more determined than the next to get ahead, though no one was moving very quickly in any of the lanes. As I was driving along at my customary steady pace, a car seemed to come out of nowhere and cut me off. What caught my attention was her bumper sticker – “Kindness Matters.” I wondered how long it had been since she had observed her own bumper sticker, and if she truly believed what she had posted on her car. This could have been one simple act of indiscretion, but she seemed very adept at the maneuver. From my vantage point, it would be difficult to accurately assess her beliefs or her motives. I could only see her actions. Daily, I am faced with the same type of decisions, and I wonder how frequently I fail to live up to the bumper sticker mantra that I speak. It is easy to say what my belief system is. The manner I live out that belief system can be something quite different. I might even call it a moment of indiscretion while others around me might call it a pattern of behavior.

“These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me, They worship me in vain; their teachings are but rules taught by men.”-Matthew 15:8-9 NIV 16 |

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“For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ “ -Matthew 25:35-40 NIV It is easy to play back a recording of the values I claim. It is entirely different to use my time, resources, and energy in the care of others. It’s not enough for me to speak of love. My actions will reflect my true values. It’s not enough to have a bumper sticker religion; I need to act in a way that reveals my true relationship with God, and shows His love to a broken and hurting world.

ABOUT DENIECE Deniece has a passion to minister to women. You are going to grow to love her and the way she tells stories, always getting to the real heart of the matter.

act financial

RANDY COWELL

Social Security—A Case for Life Insurance

ife insurance. Misunderstood and often maligned, it is a product that is purchased for many reasons. It is without question one of the most controversial financial planning subjects, and let’s admit, there is no better way to clear a room than to mention life insurance. I remember I had barely changed careers when I found myself working with American Airlines retirees helping them sort out their pension options. Soon after selling life insurance to a retiree, he suddenly died. Up to that point I must admit I really only had a textbook understanding of the subject. It wasn’t until I physically handed a substantial check to the widow that I fully appreciated the power of a well-designed life insurance program. That day changed my life forever as I witnessed firsthand how a little piece of paper could secure a family’s financial future, afford them the resources to pick up the pieces and enable them to be financially free. I will never forget her gratitude and thankfulness.

Beyond Death Do Us Part In retirement, life insurance is a product that benefits your spouse beyond “death do us part.” I suppose it goes with the territory, but after spending over two decades in the financial planning profession, I am beginning to have more and more clients die. As my clients get older, I suppose it is inevitable that I will be getting more of those eventful phone calls in the middle of the night informing me of a family tragedy. Anyone that has lost a spouse has experienced the harsh reality of not only losing a life partner but also the loss of Social Security retirement income. Here’s a typical scenario. Let’s assume we have a couple, each 65 years of age. Together their combined Social Security income is $2,000 per month. Upon the death of the first spouse, the Social Security Administration recalculates the surviving spouse’s retirement. A very simplistic approach used to estimate the surviving spouse’s “new” income is to take away one-half of the deceased spouse’s income.

The Capitalized Value of Lost Social Security In the above example, the surviving spouse does not get to keep both Social Security checks. His was $1,350 and hers was $650. This is a typical breakdown because the husband earned higher wages and worked more years. If we take one-half of his income away it leaves the wife with a retirement income of $1,350 per month. To calculate what just happened financially, we perform a capitalized value calculation. Simply put, this is the lump sum equivalent necessary to provide the income which was lost, in this case $650 per month or $7,800 annually. To determine the

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capitalized value of this lost income we simply divide $7,800 by a modest interest rate. In the past we used 4% but recently we have opted to be a bit more conservative and now use 3%. By dividing $7,800 by .03 we get a capitalized sum of $260,000. Wow! This is the amount of money that would be required to produce $650 per month. ($260,000 x .03 = $7,800)

The Solution First Timothy 5:8 instructs each of us to take care of the immediate needs of our families. If today you are married, the inevitable fact is that you or your spouse will one day be single. Regardless of the sequence of events, a loss of the magnitude just discussed is hard to contend with. For that reason, owning life insurance in retirement is a great idea. Life insurance can replace the lost Social Security income and provide the additional security every family deserves. They say that knowledge is power. I believe that knowledge without action is just a daydream. Take action today! If you are unsure as to your benefits, I recommend that you request your retirement calculations from Social Security. They recommend you update every three years. Contact them at 1-800-772-1213 or at www.SocialSecurity.gov

RANDY C. COWELL ACT FINANCIAL Randy C. Cowell is a columnist and President of ACT Financial Services, Inc. in Tulsa, Oklahoma. He is the author of “God GoodDebt Bad”. Randy welcomes your thoughts and prayers. He can be reached at 918-664-0081 or by e-mail at rcowell@htk.com.

coming next month!

An Exclusive Interview with Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson! You won’t want to miss next month’s issue. In fact, we expect the demand to be so high, we will be printing and distributing an extra 5000 copies! If you are a reader, you will enjoy Phil’s testimony. And if you own a business, you absolutely need to have an include an ad! The magazine will absolutely fly off the shelves as the controversial Duck Commander will no doubt “tell it like it is.” Don’t miss it!

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FOUNDER’S B R E A K F A S T PRESENTING VISION FOR TULSA HOUSE O F P R AY E R  C O M I N G S O O N ! TICKETS AVAILABLE ONLINE

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ORU Offers Five New Degrees that Prepare Students for Global Marketplace

ral Roberts University announced that five new degree programs will be offered beginning in fall 2014. The new degrees were developed with a focus on the global marketplace. New degrees include English Language Teaching in the Global Classroom, Industrial and Organizational Psychology, Global Ministry and the Marketplace, Global Studies with a concentration in Latin America, the Middle East, or Asia and Social Justice. The B.A. in English Language Teaching in the Global Classroom is for those who are called to go to other countries to teach English and those from other countries who want to return to their country to teach English. The program is a combination of reading, English and English language learning courses to ensure candidates acquire the content knowledge, pedagogical skills and dispositions needed to aid students in acquiring English as a second language. For more information, visit www.oru.edu/ globalenglishteaching. The Industrial and Organizational Psychology degree prepares students for graduate programs and professional careers that apply principles of psychology to a variety of business concerns including human resources, administration, management, sales, and organizational development. I-O psychology primarily focuses on the analysis of workplace behavior through the study of employees, workplaces, and organizations. For more information, visit www.oru.edu/iandopsychology. Students enrolled in the Global Ministry and the Marketplace degree program will take courses in Bible, theology, ethics,

apologetics and missions with a required minor in business. The degree will equip business minded students to be creative in their calling to have a global influence as they learn Biblically sound and theologically balanced ways to minister in local, global and cross-cultural contexts. For more information, visit www.oru.edu/ globalministrydegree. The Global Studies degree program allows students to focus their studies on a specific region of interest including Latin America, the Middle East, or Asia. In addition, students will receive a language minor connected to that region—modern Hebrew, Spanish or Mandarin Chinese. A graduate with this degree is able to pursue careers and successfully work in the globalized world, whether it is in developing businesses, creating effective policies, helping people and communities, working with non-governmental organizations, governments, or ministries. For more information, visit www.oru.edu/globalstudiesdegree. Social Justice provides students with skills and abilities to integrate faith, culture, economics, and politics to promote healing at both an individual and societal level. This program offers two pathways leading students either through a pre-law emphasis to graduate school or a business emphasis leading into a career promoting healing through supportive, often nonprofit, organizations. For more information, visitwww.oru.edu/ socialjustice. ORU is also working towards adding a Mandarin Chinese minor in the future with initial class offerings in spring 2014. Students interested in the new degree programs, or a Mandarin Chinese minor as part of their full-time enrollment at ORU are eligible for nomination to the Quest Whole Person Scholarship, which offers up to $20,000 a year in tuition. For additional information on the Quest Whole Person Scholarship Program, visit www.quest.oru.edu. For more information on the new degree programs offered at ORU, attend ORU College Weekend March 6-8, 2014, or contact the ORU admissions office at 800-678-8876 ext. 1 or admissions@oru.edu. About Oral Roberts University Oral Roberts University is a world-renowned Christian university located in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Founded in 1963, ORU serves students from 50 states and more than 70 countries, representing over 40 denominations. ORU offers more than 60 undergraduate majors, 13 master’s programs and two doctoral degrees, plus NCAA Division I athletics. For more information on ORU, visit www.oru.edu.

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Still (Hampton) Creative after All These Years

The team at Johnie Hampton’s ad agency has an eye for quality and a heart for making a difference. -By Jamie Gaylor

ucked into a stylish, modern workspace in midtown Tulsa, the hardworking staff at Hampton Creative is earning attention and accolades from the design world. The company’s founder and CEO, Johnie Hampton, is happy to brag on his crew and share the secrets of their success. “I have the best team!” the 1991 Oral Roberts University graduate said, exuding enthusiasm. “Each person here is so talented, and so unique in what they do. And yet, even with all the differences, we get along so well.” The teamwork is evident in the award-winning work Hampton Creative produces for its clients, a growing list that includes ministry leaders such as Charles Stanley, nonprofits, educational institutions, and local for-profit businesses. Hampton is especially excited to share about his agency’s nonprofit work, a cause close to his heart. To date, Hampton Creative has helped to raise over a billion dollars for charities and nonprofits by creating unique and effective direct mail campaigns. Hampton Creative’s design talent recently caught the eye of Domtar Corporation, the largest manufacturer of uncoated freesheet paper in North America and the second largest paper producer in the world. In late 2012, Domtar called for submissions regarding the best use of its paper in a design piece. Hampton Creative’s artwork was selected as a winner for a 2013 national ad campaign and was recently featured in Graphic Design USA, PRINT, and Communication Arts magazines. “These magazines are like the Oscars for creative work,”

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Hampton said of the graphic design industry’s premier publications. “To get your work in any one is every designer’s dream. And for an industry leader like Domtar to select your ad to run, to have that recognition . . . it’s just an amazing opportunity.” That opportunity is one that Hampton dreamed of many years ago. “I came from a small town in Arkansas, from a small Methodist church,” he recounted. “Everybody back home thought it was crazy, but I knew I was meant to be at ORU, and I knew I wanted to work in the creative field.” Along with three sisters close to the same age, Hampton worked his way through college. He completed his degree in business administration and was hired by fellow alumnus Tom Newman to work for Impact Productions. After several years at Impact, Hampton left to work at a local church, and in 2002, launched his own company. From humble beginnings, Hampton Creative now employs a staff of twelve and has doubled in size in just the past three years. The agency’s growth has been strategic, however. Hampton is proud that, rather than the “fastest- growing” or even the bestknown agency in town, Hampton Creative is intentional about the projects it accepts. It is steadily building a résumé of quality clients and top-notch work, and earning accolades from respected industry leaders. Johnie married his wife, Krystal, in 2000, and they are the proud parents of two rambunctious boys: Zane, 10, and Grayson, 6. Design and creativity are also part of the Hampton household; Johnie and Krystal’s wedding was featured in Modern Bride, and their home was featured in a Tulsa homebuilder’s publication for its design. Even little Grayson is a budding artist, creating original pieces to share with Dad. Hampton cites his time at ORU as part of the foundation of a successful career. His greatest takeaway from ORU, however, was more than a business degree. “Education goes a long way,” he said, “but the unique experience of ORU is more than that. It’s in the mission statement from Oral Roberts: learning how to hear the voice of God wherever I am, whatever I’m doing. That has been the most important thing in my life.”

ORU College of Education Distinguished with Fourth Consecutive Program Award

he Oral Roberts University College of Education is the only college to receive four consecutive Program Awards from the Alpha Beta Lambda chapter of Kappa Delta Pi (KDP), since the award was established in 1995. The latest Program Award was presented to ORU at the 49th Biennial Convocation held in Dallas, Texas for “Teaching in a Trans-Cultural Learning Environment: An Asian Context” in the professional development category. “Students and faculty members in the ORU College of Education diligently seek to increase the depth of their knowledge and to give back to the community,” said Dean of the College of Education Kim Boyd. “It is an honor to be recognized by such a prestigious organization, especially for the fourth consecutive year. This speaks to the hard work and passion displayed by our college as well as the excellent professional development opportunities available to ORU education students.” ORU was one of five higher education institutions recognized with a Program Award among more than 600 chapters worldwide. The Program Award recognizes university chapters that demonstrate excellence in one of five program areas— service, professional development, fundraising, membership and communication. ORU’s chapter co-sponsors numerous worldview and

educational speakers throughout the year as well as dissertation round table seminars and semi-annual education seminars. The chapter is also known for their charitable contributions to the Tulsa community through hosting book drives and other community outreach projects. Kappa Delta Pi, International Honor Society in Education, was established in 1911 to recognize and promote excellence in education, provide a reasoned voice for significant issues, and link learning communities of educators. Through its programs, services, and strategic partnerships, KDP supports the professional growth and teaching practices of educators throughout all phases and levels of their careers. The organization currently has more than 600 chapters and an active membership that exceeds 40,000 worldwide. To learn more about Kappa Delta Pi visit www.kdp.org. FOR MORE INFORMATION For more information on the ORU College of Education, attend college weekend March 6-8, 2014, or visit www.oru.edu/academics/college_ of_education/.

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cancer treatment centers of america

A D Y NA M I C D U O

KEEPS the FAITH...

TWICE

Diagnosed with esophageal adenocarcinoma, cancer of the esophagus, Chuck was about to face intense treatments, while his partner in life stood by his side to fight on his behalf. “I had a peace,” Chuck said. “If I was to face something like that, I never thought I would have had that peace and it was comforting.” “I didn’t have that peace. I trusted God, but I was really scared,” Ann said. “I thought, ‘How is Chuck going to deal with this?’ He shocked me with how he dealt with it — so much strength. He had the strength of someone I’d never seen before — just, no fear.” With time ticking on Chuck’s diagnosis, Ann began searching for answers. “I saw a TV ad for Cancer Treatment Centers of America® (CTCA) — the first one I’d ever seen,” Ann said. “I started praying about it and asked, ‘Really Lord, you don’t want us to go to Tulsa?’ Then a good friend of mine told me that she believed Chuck would be healed in Tulsa.” Though Chuck’s cancer was aggressive, his team of doctors at CTCA formulated a minimally invasive, yet intense treatment plan. After making the two-hour drive from Norman to Tulsa and walking through the doors of CTCA, Chuck and Ann recall feeling a reassurance that they were in the right place. After months of treatment and a difficult year in which friends and family prepared for the worst, Chuck began to recover. “He looked like a dead man for three months and he lost more than 40 pounds,” Ann said.

n April 2001, Ann Glenn began desperately searching for a treatment facility for her husband, Chuck. At 52 years old, Chuck was active, participating in church softball leagues and planning for the future with his wife of nearly 30 years. The two had shared everything in life — struggles, successes, and even a call of salvation as they came to know Jesus Christ as their savior 10 years into their marriage. Standing together in a doctor’s office hallway in their hometown of Norman, Okla., the world seemed to momentarily stop for Chuck and Ann. “I think you have cancer,” Chuck recalls his doctor stating.

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“If I had to give someone else facing cancer any advice, it would be to not get caught up in the ‘why.’”

-ANN GLENN

As Chuck’s treatment began to come to a close and he entered full remission, Ann and Chuck returned to life as normal. Chuck resumed playing softball that next summer and Ann remembers his first game back. “He hit the ball and he started running to first base.

His legs were still weak and he fell while running,” Ann said. “He crawled the rest of the way.” Thirteen years later, Chuck and Ann remember the team at CTCA investing in their wellbeing and making sure that they were each taken care of in the best way possible. While grateful for the healing that happened at CTCA, Chuck and Ann were ready to look to the future and make the most of the time they had been given. “I’ve never questioned why,” Chuck said. “But I’ve found out in years since, that one of the reasons why I was to survive was to lead my father-in-law to the Lord four years ago. And seven years ago, my first grandchild was born on my birthday, and I’ve been blessed with another 13 years with my lovely bride.” However, in October 2013, the words ‘esophageal adenocarcinoma’ were reintroduced to the Glenns in a way neither of them expected. This time Ann Glenn would face the diagnosis and Chuck would be by her side serving as her caregiver. “When I was first diagnosed with this, I said ‘Don’t worry, there is no way this is esophageal cancer — it feels like an ulcer,’” Ann said. Regardless of how astronomical the statistical chances, Ann would face the same type of cancer as Chuck had endured 13 years earlier. For Ann’s bout with cancer, neither of them wasted any time. A diagnosis from a local Norman doctor on a Wednesday resulted in a quick phone call to CTCA and an appointment the following week. “What I like about this place is the spiritual foundation of what this place is built on. I’m talking about this building itself — with the scriptures and praying over all the different building aspects,” Chuck said, referring to scripture written on the foundation of each CTCA building. “And it being covered in prayer, literally,” Ann said. Expecting the same excruciatingly difficult cancer journey that she watched Chuck endure 13 years earlier, Ann prepared for sleepless nights, weight loss and lengthy treatments. This time, instead of softball tournaments, the Glenns were missing Sunday dinner with their son, Tommy, his wife, Tiffany and their four grandchildren, Brooklyn, Kayley, Joseph and Gunnar. This time, like last, Chuck and Ann never asked why, but instead

fought cancer with a purpose. Ann’s children’s church class, faithful friends at Trinity Baptist Church and loving family became an army of prayer warriors as the Glenns went round two with esophageal cancer. “At first it felt cruel. It felt like this can’t be happening, but my God is not a cruel God and he’s got a plan,” Ann said. “When Chuck was sick, I started teaching the kids in children’s church class to pray ‘God give me eyes to see you, ears to hear you and a heart to obey you.’” Ann taught each of her grandchildren the same prayer. Especially during her battle with cancer, she wanted to solidify this prayer in their hearts. “If they don’t remember anything else about me, this is what I want them to remember,” Ann said. While faithful loved ones prayed for Chuck and Ann, the couple embraced fellow CTCA patients — serving as prayer warriors and friendly faces amidst the terror that cancer can cause. They have created lifelong bonds with other patients and caregivers, as well as CTCA employees. “If I had to give someone else facing cancer any advice, it would be to not get caught up in the ‘why’,” Ann said. As of January 2014, Ann completed her last round of radiation treatment and spent the beginning of the New Year at home with her family. The dynamic duo are not done fighting, as the road ahead is still paved with the unknown, but through it all they remain confident in a faithful God and his promises. No case is typical. You should not expect to experience these results. To learn more about Cancer Treatment Centers of America in Tulsa, visit cancercenter.com or call 888-348-5492.

Words to Live By Chuck and Ann Glenn have made a point to support every facet of their lives with scripture. So, after 30 years of marriage and two bouts with cancer, the Glenns have an arsenal of verses that continue to sustain them. “We love because he first loved us.” 1 John 4:19* “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3* “Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4* “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6* “I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13* *New International Version, NIV

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chairs or pews

Chairs or Pews?

“Doing Church” gets complicated sometimes. There are million details with running a church effectively and efficiently in today’s world. From insurance and security, to people-flow and building maintenance, church experts have made a science of making it all work smoothly. Rodney James, the Business Manager and Director Of Finance at Churches by Daniels is one of those experts. Their ministry and their business is to help churches make all the proper choices in such decisions. And because of their reputation, church leaders all over the world look to them for answers to everything from the seemingly small questions to the biggest ones dealing with building, managing and maintaining church buildings. One question which routinely comes up is the debate between… Pews or Chairs? As churches remodel and look for more efficient ways to use their existing space, many are removing the traditional church pews and replacing them with chairs. We asked Rodney for the rationale as to why… “Chairs provide much more flexibility. By being able to move the chairs around, it is possible to set up for a smaller gathering and to move and adjust the aisles (ie for weddings, funerals, pageants, etc.). All in all, chairs allow churches to utilize their current space for other things,” Rodney said. He said that there is some science behind the argument as well. “Studies show that people will only fill the pews to 70 percent. So, if you have pews that seat 500 at capacity, on an ongoing basis, people will only be comfortable when attendance ranges from 350 to 375. In fact, visitors won’t come back after you exceed that limit.” “But surprisingly, people will fill chairs at 90% capacity. Therefore 500 chairs will regularly seat 450. That is a

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big difference. The individual space perception is the reason this is true.” Rodney says maintenance is another benefit to chairs. “Chairs are easily replaced if damaged, torn, or stained. If pews must be repaired in place, it can be costly.” So how are churches voting? “Pews do offer that more traditional look, but we see 95 percent of churches moving away from pews. Even very traditional churches are renovating and moving away from pews,” he said. On the other side of the argument, women with children often find pews easier to manage. Also, elderly people sometimes need that fixed pew in front of them to assist them in getting up. And some argue against the flexibility issue by pointing out that you still have to have a place to store the chairs if you decide to cut down the number for a wedding, funeral or some other event. For churches already busting at the seems, storage is often more coveted than room in the auditorium. Every church culture is different and what works for your church might be different from the norm. But the norm seems to be voting for chairs. So where space and flexibility is an issue, you may want to at least think about making the change. On the surface, it could sound like a little thing, but this one decision might allow you to put off building that new auditorium for a bit longer. As for me, just like Heaven, I’ll be willing to sit on the floor in the farthest back corner, just as long as I get to be there.

ABOUT CHURCHES BY DANIELS Churches by Daniels is a leading church construction company assisting churches any phase of the design & construction process. From complete new church buildings to renovation, remodeling and expansion projects – they help church leaders achieve ministry goals.

From the very inception of a church construction project, they bring an outstanding team of professionals to work alongside the church, to bring building projects to completion within budget and on time, and with a passionate commitment to quality, detail and service. Even though they work all over the globe, they are located right here in the Tulsa area…at 3501 West Kenosha Street. You may contact them at churchesbydaniels.com or by calling (918) 872-6006.

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CHURCHES BY DANIELS 918.872.6006 Broken Arrow, Oklahoma

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lose it for the kids B Y

TOM MCCLOUD

I am…Losing it for the Kids. Will you help? -By TOM MCCLOUD

opefully you have heard, but if not, know that I have put my credibility on the line to raise money for underprivileged kids on Tulsa’s Westside. My goal is to lose 100 pounds in 10 months from January 3rd through October 3rd. People (like you?) are pledging money per pound, challenging me while taking part in an effort to save this next generation of kids before it is too late. I have quite a team behind me, including one of the most respected trainers in town…Michael Watkins of Fitness Together Riverside and Downtown. I am working out right along side Danny Cahill, America’s Biggest Loser and he is pushing me, keeping me motivated and accountable. My Nutritionist is Lindsey Nieman, M.A., RD, and LMFT Candidate of Cornerstone Christian Counseling. Also, Joseph Holman D.C. of Adjust South Tulsa Chiropractic, is providing chiropractic services to help keep me limber and “in the game.” So how can a 56 year-old, once upon a time athlete lose 100 pounds? Here is the plan. You can learn valuable health tips and following along in my progress by reading my blog at LoseItForTheKids.com. And while you are there, be sure to make a pledge. The kids are counting on you too!

The Diet Lindsey Nieman specializes in helping people with all sorts of eating disorders. In my case, her plan is pretty straight forward…a 2500-calorie diet of proteins, fruits, vegetables and just enough carbohydrates to fuel me during my workouts. If you have ever seen the USDA’s “My Plate” information (see www.ChoseMyPlate. com), my diet is very similar, although it is easier because we count “exchanges” instead of calories. Visit the blog to find many helpful cooking tips and even great recipes! I meet with Lindsey weekly to check my weight and review my food journal. And as an experienced counselor, Lindsey does more than measure my progress. She helps me figure out the triggers to my eating and to find ways to avoid them. She also demonstrates cooking methods and tips in the beautiful full kitchen in her office. Want to put Lindsey on YOUR team? You can contact her at cornerstoneoftulsa.com or by calling 918-392-4008. Whether you eat too much or too little, Lindsey can help you find the right balance in your life.

The Workouts Through the years, I have spent a fair amount of time in the gym, but never have I pushed harder or gotten the results that I have over

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the last month at Fitness Together. I am convinced you, or at least “I,” can’t do this on my own. It takes a professional coach who not only knows the kind of exercise plan that will work for you, but also someone who can motivate you to go farther and harder than you ever thought possible. Michael Watkins and his trainers at Fitness Together Riverside and Downtown know what they are doing. They train all ages, sizes, and both men and women. And they do it oneon-one, on at least in a very small group. They make a science out of performance and for their clients who stick with in, they can almost guarantee success. My workouts have been both grueling and fun. The short, high intensity training pushes me to exhaustion, but has produced great results. Only one month into it, I feel stronger, more flexible and have more energy than I have in years. Working out along side America’s Biggest Loser, Danny Cahill is incredible. Not only is he always motivating me, he understands what it is like to start from scratch with so much to lose. His stories about his incredible 239-pound loss in just over six months on the show, inspire me while giving me practical ideas. He has my full respect and attention and I am so blessed to have him on “my team.” I workout at Fitness Together four days per week and take one day completely off. Saturday and Sunday are days for heavy cardio workouts on my own. Something I am learning however is that to ensure steady weight loss, cardio must be done every day. Ultimately, you must “move” to burn calories. So schedule your walking, jogging, biking or swimming. Sustained activity is the secret to success. I invite you to begin your own workout at Fitness Together. Give Michael Watkins at 918-392-0540 for more information.

Stay Limber! In starting a serious exercise program, there is a tendency to have those aches and pains. Joseph Holman is proving to me that good chiropractic care is essential to the weight loss effort. He understands my workout schedule and helps me stay limber. Getting hurt could place this whole goal in jeopardy. I count on Dr. Holman to help keep me “in the game” and you can too. You can contact him at 918970-2495.

Make Your Pledge Today! Go to LoseItForTheKids.com. Read the blogs, pray for my success and then encourage me with your pledge per pound. My loss is the kid’s gain!

lose your quit B Y

DANNY CAHILL

Time

Community Spirit is excited to have Danny Cahill as one of our featured, monthly writers. Whether you wrestle with your weight or not, you will enjoy Danny’s motivating column. We all cheered Danny on when he was on The Biggest Loser. Now, he continues to gain our applause while he shares his testimony with others. Danny loves the Lord and is not shy about telling people about Him. It is a blessing to the magazine to have his monthly article. Be sure to watch for Danny’s article each month.

ere are some interesting facts about time: We all get the same amount per day, how we use our time is a choice, and once time passes we can’t get it back. If we each get exactly the same amount of time per day, why can some people do more with it than others? Why are some wildly successful in their careers, family life, and passions while others seem struggle to just get basic things done? I believe the answers can be found in the second fact – how we use the time we are given is a choice. I sometimes hear people say, “Everything comes easy for him” or “I’d be successful, too, if I’d been given the chance.” I even said, “He got his college paid for and his career handed to him” about one of my friends. And I’ve had people tell me, “Of course you lost the weight. If I had The Biggest Loser, I’d lose the weight, too!” Unfortunately this is all too common. We tend to make excuses of why we don’t have what we really want when it’s really more about how we use the time we are given. Every person I have talked to who is successful in a business, their family, their ministry or their skill tells me the same thing – they’ve put the time in. They were handed a choice of what to do with their time – whether to watch TV or spend some time with their kids. Maybe to play golf on Saturday or to work on that client’s file they’ve wanted to land. Each choice is not right or wrong – but

they do have a price & benefit. The price might be your golf game might suffer, but the benefit might be that you land those clients that make your business successful. Or the price might be that don’t get to find out who was voted off the island but the benefit is a closer relationship with your children. Remember, the choices aren’t right or wrong, they are just different. What we can’t afford to do is walk around blaming where we are on outside circumstances instead of our choices. When we do this, we fall into a victim mentality – a mentality that we do not control our own destiny, but the things that happen to us do. We need to practice a responsible mentality – that we are where we are because of the choices that we have made. When we practice a responsible mentality, we can do the most important thing: change our choices to change our results! But when we blame our failures on outside circumstance and practice a victim mentality, we give away the very power we have to change our life – our right to choose. I urge you to stop making up stories about why others are successful in an area and you are not. Ask them how they built their business, built their family dynamic, or became an awesome guitar player – I’ll bet they’ll tell you they chose to work their tails off and put in the effort to get what they really want. Remember that friend of mine I thought got his college paid for and his business handed to him? Actually, his father made him pay for his own schooling, and he worked long, hard hours for the first five years of his business to build it to where it is now – a multi-million dollar company. So when I see him playing golf on Saturday, I know the truth about his success. He earned it – by choosing to spend his time getting what he really wants. And, I lost the weight on The Biggest Loser by choosing to work hard. No one handed me that. I earned it! And guess what? Remember those New Year’s Resolutions you set last month? You can still make them happen! Choose to go for it!

PURCHASE DANNY’S NEW BOOK AT THEDANNYCAHILL.COM

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marriages that last

BY DR. KEVIN NIEMAN

Who is God in my marriage? “I, John, take you, Mary, to be my cohabitant, to have sex with and to share bills with. I’ll be around while things are good but I probably won’t be if things get tough. If you should get a cold, I’ll run to the drugstore for some medicine. If you get sick to the point where you can no longer meet my needs, then I’ll have to move on. Forsaking many others I will be more or less faithful to you for as long as it feels good to me. If we should break up, it doesn’t mean this wasn’t special for me. I commit to live with you for as long as this works out.” The “I am god” philosophy exists in good people, just not faithful people. They will give to their marriage as long as they are benefitting but they’ll leave when the storms of life roll in. Many may choose to stay physically but divorce their spouse spiritually and emotionally, then wonder why they’re so unhappy. Happiness and contentment don’t evolve from selfishness. They or some time I’ve been contemplating a question. A question are byproducts of faithfulness and obedience. I know this may that I believe defines a path that a individual chooses to follow. sound simplistic and I’m not implying that if you acknowledge At some point, everyone must answer this defining question, “God is God” your marriage will be perfect or never endure hardship determining which fork in the road they will take. Initially, the but I am saying you’ll create a context that will allow God to work question seems very simplistic, but with closer examination you can within your marriage and you will find contentment and peace. see the significance of it. This question has eternal relevance within This contentment and peace will allow you to experience true joy any context but I’d like to specifically focus on marriage. only found in God. If you find yourself struggling with letting go and letting Who is God? God, give us a call. Cornerstone is committed to not only saving Seems pretty straight forward, doesn’t it? There are only two real marriages, but doing it God’s way. possible answers to such a question. The first is that you believe God is God or secondly, you believe you are god. Before you dismiss how absurd this sounds, hear me out. To reach an authentic answer to this question you must examine “actions,” not merely “intentions.” Dr. Kevin Nieman, LMFT Very seldom do I ever question ones intentions, but one’s actions Cornerstone Christian Counseling Services must be challenged if change is ever going to take place. We are excited about bringing hope and healing to those Maritally speaking, how one answers the above question hurting in our community, blending our Christian beliefs with our professionalism. greatly determines their approach to marriage. If God is God then your approach toward your marriage is more about serving your spouse and less about yourself. If you believe God is God, then you understand that this life is temporary and that God is more concerned with your obedience and faithfulness than your happiness. Obstacles and challenges are met with prayer and fasting rather than pointed fingers. Personal responsibility and ownership in conflicts are common place, allowing the couple to resolve conflicts without crippling effects. Also found in this marriage is Christian Counseling Services an understanding of commitment and faithfulness that the “world” cannot comprehend. Let us help you get your life back on track. Very few would ever come out and admit that they view themselves as god so let me describe the mentality I’m speaking of. Kyle Idleman in his book “Not a Fan” helps to describe the “I am Call today: 918.392.4008 4930 S. Sheridan Rd. god” mentality in the following wedding vows.

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F EBRUAR Y 2014