January 2013 | Community Spirit Magazine by Community Spirit Magazine

DavidPhelps Returning for an Encore Performance at the Broken Arrow PAC on Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day

Inside: 13 Ways to Start Fresh

page.8

ORU Student Center Grand Opening page.25

Q&A With a Guest Pastor page.29

January 2013 PUBLISHER & editor Tom McCloud

Contents Features: 6

David Phelps Returns to Tulsa

13 Ways to Start Fresh in 2013

Celebrate Recovery

Steve Dickie Honors Clark Millspaugh’s Legacy

ORU Section

COLUMNS: 19

Randy Cowell

Lose Your Quit with Danny Cahill

Matters of the Heart with Deniece Adsit

NEW! Q&A w/ Guest Pastors in Tulsa

Floral Haven

CREATIVE Director Ramond Walker CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Steve Moeller, Tom McCloud, Randy Cowell, Danny Cahill, Deniece Adsit, Blythe Fowler, Norm Wilkie www.mccloudmedia.com • www.communityspiritmagazine.com TULSA Sales Office 10019 S. 69th E. Ave. Tulsa, OK 74133 phone: (918) 307-2323 fax: (918) 528-6209 Distribution Communityspiritmagazine.com is distributed to churches, schools, restaurants, Christian bookstores, and other businesses. Call us today to deliver to your church. Communityspiritmagazine.com is published monthly by McCloud Media. Claims by advertisers and the opinions of writers within this publication do not necessarily represent the views of Communityspiritmagazine.com or its publisher, Equipment Publications, Inc. Philippians 2:1-2 “If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from His love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.” Our Mission: 1. Build Community – Develop a sense of community among all local believers in Christ 2. Inspire Good Works 3. Support Families 4. Share the Good News of Jesus Christ Fan us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/CommunitySpiritMagazine

C o m m u n i t y S p i ri tma g a zi n e.com J anuary 2013

Dick L.

stressing the importance

of stress tests.

Dick showed no symptoms of a heart problem. A casual question from his primary care physician led Dick to a routine stress test. What that test showed was not so routine â&#x20AC;&#x201C; a 99% blockage in a main artery that led to immediate bypass surgery at Oklahoma Heart Institute. His praise for the entire medical team throughout his surgery and recovery could not be stronger. Neither could his encouragement to anyone 40 or older to have a stress test done. It could save their life, just like it saved his. To learn more about Dickâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s life-changing experience at Oklahoma Heart Institute, visit ChangingLivesAtHillcrest.com

OklahomaHeart.com | 918.592.0999

cover story

DavidPhelps S

ettle into one of the comfortable seats at the Broken Arrow PAC, grab your sweetheart’s hand and get ready to hear one of the most impressive voices you have ever heard. David Phelps, that high tenor who sings for the Gather Vocal Band is coming back for a one-night performance. He wowed the audience a couple of years ago with what can only be described as “a creschindo of praise.” Maybe you have experienced it when the lyrics of a song are so well delivered, they seep right down through the cracks of your hard exterior and deliver a healing touch right where you have been hurting most. Then, just as emotion begins to swell up in your heart, the singer hits one of those incredible high notes and you suddenly explode to your feet. That is a “crescendo of praise” and that is David Phelps. Equipped with the ability to tell stories with his voice, David doesn’t just sing songs, he packages them with ribbon and lace and delivers them right to the door of your heart. And as you 6

C o m m u n i t y S p i ri tma g a zi n e.com J anuary 2013

Returning for an Encore Performance at the Broken Arrow PAC

receive the gift, there is no doubt in your mind that God sent it by way of this, well-equipped, special messenger. It’s always been this way for David Phelps. He has been inspiring crowds since he was a young boy. Born to parents who understood the value of music, David and both of his sisters often performed together. His sister Sherri Proctor sang backup for David up until her untimely death from cancer earlier this year. Kari Lee plays the trumpet in a noted Chicago group called The Millar Brass Ensemble. After graduating in 1988 from Tomball High School, near Houston, David attended Baylor University where he directed the Baylor Religious Hour Choir. He graduated in 1992 with a degree in music and vocal performance. Though his professors encouraged him to pursue a career in opera or pop music, David felt called to gospel, to sharing lyrics that really matter and he took a job as “Artist-in-Residence” with the large First Baptist Church in Hurst, Texas. Continuing to develop his voice and singing style, David took every opportunity to perform and minister through his music. Then, Mark Lowry, that very funny baritone in the

Gaither Vocal Band, introduced David to Bill Gaither. The meeting started a friendship and association that continues to this day. David traveled with the group for eight years before taking a break to concentrate on his solo career. And now, though he continues to perform solo, he has recently rejoined the group. David is known for his remarkable range. When asked about his highest note, he sheepishly avoided the question, explaining that there was a time in his career when it was important to always be trying to hit higher and higher notes. But gradually, he learned that singing higher is not what it is about. Instead, delivering the song in the right way is much more important. Still, around the Gaither group, he is often referred to as “The Voice” because of his ability to comfortably reach more than a three-octave full voice range. But whether he is hitting the low notes in “Just As I Am” or the top of the scale in “Let Freedom Ring,” David’s ability to connect with the audience is what is most impressive about his performances. He is first and foremost a minister and it comes through with every note. When he is not performing, he is on his farm south of Nashville, Tennessee. He and his wife Lori, have four children, Callie Noelle 17, Maggie Beth 15, David Grant 12 and Coby Daniel age 8. Like his own upbringing, David insures that music plays an important role in the children’s lives. In fact Callie, Maggie Beth and Grant can be seen on the Gaither Homecoming videos “Christmas in the Country” and “A Time for Joy.” The Broken Arrow Performing Arts Center is pleased to present the David Phelps Valentines Show on Thursday, February 14th at 7:30 p.m. The show is something the entire family will enjoy. Light-hearted, but packed with inspiration, David’s shows make the perfect “date night” or the special outing for the entire family. Tickets are available at www.brokenarrowpac.com or at the ticket office, Monday through Friday, noon to 5:00 p.m. The beautiful, new Broken Arrow Performing Arts Center is located at 701 South Main in Broken Arrow. The phone number is 918259-5778.

Also coming to the PAC! • Shrek the Musical… February 17 • Spamalot… March 3 (Tony Award Winning Musical) • Boys Night Out… April 20 (Featuring The Oak Ridge Boys and The Blind Boys of Alabama together

“If I could have David Phelps every season, I would. He is a favorite of my season subscribers and I never have to worry about the show he will present. He is world class in every way. Everyone knows that his talent is impressive, he is one of the best tenors in the world, in my opinion. More importantly, his heart impresses me. That is why I keep bringing him back.” Mark Frie, Executive Director, Broken Arrow Performing Arts Center

“The Phelps Show will be a mix of secular and Christian stuff. The evening will focus on the romanticism of Valentine’s Day, but I am sure he will talk about the ultimate love that is found in our Heavenly Father. Now in our 4th season, the BAPAC is realizing its vision of bringing the world to Broken Arrow.” Mark Frie, Executive Director, Broken Arrow Performing Arts Center.

January 2013 Communit yS p ir itmagaz ine.com

title 13 ways bar to start fresh in 2013

WAYS TO START

FRESH IN

2013 D

on’t like where your life has been heading? Wish you could do something to make it better? Here are 13 positive and proven ideas that will help. January is a great time to get started. Make 2013 the year you took Godly steps toward true happiness.

“There are no grade cards in life. And even if there were, through salvation in Jesus, we don’t have to be scared to show them to our

.Assess your situation honestly.

Heavenly Father. He knows your score and has already graduated

Just as every diet starts with getting on the scales, every solved problem begins by acknowledging your situation. Consider it your personal State of the Union address. Take a long, purposeful look in the mirror at where you are and what is causing your problem.

you to a “class” you could never have imagined.” problem and potential causes, allowing you to wrap your arms around it and be able to communicate it. This “journal” will also allow you to look back and see your progress.

. Put it in Writing.

There is great benefit to writing things down. It helps you organize the

. Forget your past failures.

C o m m u n i t y S p i ri tma g a zi n e.com J anuary 2013

It is high time to turn off those negative recordings which have been playing in your head since childhood. Stop beating yourself up. God has long since forgiven you of your sins. He sent His Son to pay for them. And He knows your every weakness and understands every side of whatever current problem you are facing. As author, Max Lucado pointed out years ago in his book “Six Hours One Friday,” we all have three anchors we can hold onto….”Our lives are not futile” (God has a plan), “Our failures are not fatal” (There’s a new day every morning), and “Our deaths are not final.” (Jesus has prepared a place for us)

. Life is Not a Competition.

Commit yourself to stop comparing yourself to others. There is nobody like

randy cowell you, nobody who has walked exactly the same path. There are no grade cards in life. And even if there were, through salvation in Jesus, we don’t have to be scared to show them to our Heavenly Father. He knows your score and has already graduated you to a “class” you could never have imagined.

5. Get a friend’s viewpoint.

We all need someone to pray with and to hold us accountable. And, you may be surprised. Too close to the situation, our own viewpoint is often jaded. I will bet they think you are wonderful and won’t believe the situation is nearly as desperate as you are imagining.

. Focus on the positive.

Surround yourself with positive people and positive things. Avoid the negative. Our Word of Faith friends have this down and we can learn a thing or two from them. Philippians 4:8 teaches us this “power of positive thinking” model. “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” (NIV © 2011)

“Ask God to help you stop worrying about the situation. Give it to Him and let it go. Then rest on scriptures like Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.”” (Standard Version © 2001)

. Picture your success.

Armed with scripture, prayers and advice from close friends, now make a written plan of how to start fresh at solving the problem. Remember to include time goals and be willing for your friend to hold you accountable.

. Give it to God. Ask God to help you stop worrying about the situation. Give it to Him and let it go. Then rest on scriptures like Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” (Standard Version © 2001)

in your heart. Psalms 100 is a great place to start. “Make a joyful noise unto the LORD, all ye lands. Serve the LORD with gladness: come before his presence with singing. Know ye that the LORD he is God: it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name. For the LORD is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations. (KJV)

. Clean up your Space.

It always makes me feel better to get rid of life’s clutter. Throw out the junk in your life and organize. One of my first jobs was to push a broom, cleaning up after a roomful of carpenters. Sawdust was everywhere and after only one pass, I could hardly tell where I had been. But the foreman understood that the guys couldn’t be effective in a messy environment. Neither can we.

12. Memorize scripture!

The Creator of the Universe has made His Word available to each of us… even right on our smart phone! Read RANDY C. COWELL it; Dwell on it; memorize it. ACT FINANCIAL

. Cleanse yourself.

Just as you surround your outward body with positive people and things, do the same for your inward one. Eat right, treat yourself to lots of FUN exercise (things you enjoy), and spend lots of time in Bible study and prayer.

10. Don’t forget to Praise!

Read the Psalms and spend time praising God every day. Focus on thanking Him for specific things instead of asking for new ones. Pray out loud and often. Make a list of things you are thankful for and name them out loud in your prayers. Sing and make melody

Randy C. Cowell is a columnist and President of ACT Financial Services, Inc. in Tulsa, Oklahoma. He is the author of “God Good-Debt Bad”. Randy welcomes your thoughts and prayers. He can be reached at 918-664-0081 or by e-mail at rcowell@htk.com.

13. Do things for others.

I am convinced that the secret to happiness is service to others. Imagine how many things Jesus needed to teach His disciples in the upper room. After all, the success of the church depended upon these guys finally “getting it.” Instead of words, Jesus taught them with His example… knelling down and demonstrating this “secret to life” by washing their dirty, stinky feet. Shouldn’t we listen? Whatever we are facing will seem much smaller if we will focus our attention on serving others.

January 2013 Communit yS p ir itmagaz ine.com

celebrate recovery

Prodigal Sons & Daughters Come to Your Senses

BY BLYTHE FOWLER

C o m m u n i t y Spi ri tma g a zi n e.com J anuary 2013

here are important moments in life that can change our destiny. Often there are times when we are confronted with how powerless we are over the events of our life. These moments can either destroy us or forever set the course of our life in a much better direction. We have to recognize these moments by sight, feeling, deduction, or penetration of the truth. Denial is like a blanket tightly tucked around the body and pulled over the head. It may serve as cover for our bodily members from the outside elements, but it also blocks our view of ourselves. We can be so comfortably wrapped in this cover that we don’t notice what’s in our path or that we have wounds that are festering underneath in the darkness. As we trip and limp

along, the cover begins to drag and become soiled and tattered; it’s detrimental to our health and offensive to others. At some point we’re brought very low by the burdensome cover. If we choose, we can loosen our grip and peek out from under the stinky cover, coming to our senses about ourselves and what’s going on around us. This ‘aha’ moment is aptly described by Celebrate Recovery/CR, Principle 1: Realize I’m not God. I admit that I am powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing and that my life is unmanageable. The correlating Beatitude for this principle is, “Happy are those who know they are spiritually poor.” (Matthew 5:3)

“At some point we’re brought very low by the burdensome cover. If we choose, we can loosen our grip and peek out from under the stinky cover, coming to our senses about ourselves and what’s going on around us.”

father replied, “Look, dear son, you and I are very close. We must celebrate this happy day for your brother was dead and has come back to life. He was lost but now is found.”

This rich story presents many life-changing truths: • Estates are typically divided after a father’s death; the son’s instigation of early division shows a proud, rebellious, selfish, and immature attitude. • Giving into the son’s wishes shows the father’s willingness to sacrifice and risk his own well-being. • The father is a picture of the loving and generous God who honors our free will to do right or wrong. • The son’s longing for pigs’ food to fill his belly indicates he’d hit bottom; the jolt brought him to his senses. • The father’s compassion for his returning son portrays God’s response to a repentant sinner. • Running to embrace the son assures us the Father’s feet of forgiveness are swift. • Like the father, God waits patiently for His children to return of their own volition. • The older brother’s selfish attitude reflects mistaken selfsufficiency; his harsh judgment reveals his own prodigal nature for he wasted precious opportunities to bask in his father’s present love. • Rest assured, the road to recovery leads to restoration of relationship with God and others.

Perfect Depiction of the Road to Recovery A powerful illustration of one young man’s aha moment is found in Jesus’ parable of the prodigal son (Luke 15: 11-32). The story’s key points follow: A man had two sons; the younger wanted his inheritance so he could make his own way in the world. The father gave; the son took his portion of the estate and went on his merry way, extravagantly wasting his inheritance on wild living (prodigal means wasteful). When a great famine came the son was destitute and ended up feeding pigs in a foreign land. He was starving, no one offered any sustenance and the pigs’ slop began to look real good to him. After being brought very low by the lifestyle in the pigpen, the son came to his senses and woke up from the delusion he’d been living, under his blanket of denial. The son realized that even his father’s hired men had food enough to spare so he decided to return home and ask to be a hired hand. While still far away, the father saw his son on the road and was so filled with love and compassion that he ran to embrace him and exclaimed, “We must celebrate with a feast!” And so the party started. The older son was angry and would not go to the celebration. Protesting, he said to his father, “All these years I’ve worked hard and never refused to do a single thing you asked, yet you never gave a feast for me. This younger son of yours returns after squandering all you gave, and you celebrate.” To this the

As a returning prodigal daughter, I attest to squandering gifts from my Heavenly Father, being brought very low by my choices, coming to my senses, and experiencing a celebration the moment I reached for God’s hand. Further, I pray for the spiritual strength to allow God’s light of love to shine so intensely that all who see will be compelled to loosen their grip on the cover of denial and join the party!

DENIAL – think about it… D - disables our feelings and emotions freeze from repression E - energy lost from anxiety, a side effect of running, worrying, dreading N - negates growth; we are ‘as sick as our secrets’ I - isolates us from God; His light shines on truth, denial keep us in the dark A - alienates us from our relationships; we think no one knows - but they do L - lengthens the pain; festering pain grows and turns into shame and guilt With 32 lively Celebrate Recovery ministries in Eastern Oklahoma, there are many exuberant prodigal children waiting to greet you on the road to recovery. Get started today: www.celebraterecovery.com/find-a-group/usaoklahoma/

January 2013 Communit yS p ir itmagaz ine.com

feature story

Finish Strong… Never Stop Running!

L to R: Steve Dickie, Joe & Zach Milspaugh (Clark’s Son & Grandson)

he sanctuary at First Methodist Church was packed. Loaded on the pews were people from all walks of life, from business executives to the unemployed. But they all had something in common…they had been touched by Clark Millspaugh, the man they came to honor. Clark was a man of contrasts. He understood success, serving as President & CEO of two Oil & Gas Exploration Companies. He also understood poverty, devoting himself to helping people caught in what some would describe as a never-ending cycle of despair and financial hardship. His love for these people and his passion for being the hands and feet of his Savior, Jesus Christ, 12

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lead him to establish Westside Harvest Market, a grocery store (and quickly adaptable ministry center) for the poor. He also partnered with Cindi Hemm at Eugene Field Elementary school to launch a 24/7 Prayer Room, a Global Garden and a mobile Health Care Clinic. Clark Millspaugh understood what it took to run a race of excellence. And although his life ended much too soon, everyone at the funeral that day would agree that this man sprinted to the finish line of life. Steve Dickie, Executive Director of Oklahoma Methodist Manor, sat in the audience with both a heavy heart and an inspired spirit. “The service spoke to me a powerful way,” Steve recalled. “I left unable to articulate what I was feeling. It took days for me to be able to fully express myself. It felt like

the Lord had guided a plow right down the middle of the fallow ground of my heart.” Steve looked up Hosea 10:12 which reads: “Sow righteousness for yourselves, reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground; for it is time to seek the LORD, until he comes and showers his righteousness on you.” Somehow he sensed that he was supposed to do something in memory of Clark. During the funeral, he learned that his friend was a marathoner. This new knowledge gave Steve an idea. “For 18 weeks I had been preparing to run the Route 66 Marathon.

“What Clark demonstrated with humility and grace is this: Real Christianity is not a change of opinion. It is a change of heart. It results in changes in behavior.”

shallow walk with the Lord), actively reengaging themselves in serving the Lord?” Steve is now committed to finding these men, to forever impact our community by encouraging them to “break up their unplowed ground” and discover what God can do with their treasures and talents. He believes God is calling each of them to a new standard for their remaining days or years on earth. Are YOU one of these guys? If God is calling you to a sprint to the finish, we encourage you to contact Steve. You guys need to know each other.

Want to help support the Westside Harvest Market? Make checks payable to “The Corner Harth,” 2232 S. Nagales Avenue, Tulsa, OK 74107.

from Clark Millspaugh’s journal “God has been so gracious and faithful

-Steve Dickie, Executive Director, Oklahoma Methodist Manor So, I asked the family if it would be OK for me to run in memory of Clark and to raise money for the Westside Harvest Market.” “I arbitrarily picked $5,000 as a goal and I sent an e-mail appeal to 140 people in my address book. One of first responses came from someone who told me this: ‘Clark had a powerful impact on my life. I am reading Halftime right now. I talked it over with my wife and we would like to double everything you raise up to $5,000.’ When I passed the word to my mailing list about the challenge another man wrote back with a three-word reply: ‘Whatever it takes.’ In the end, the appeal raised over $11,000, but it was becoming apparent to me that the money was almost insignificant, Steve explained.” The donations were a blessing and the effort especially touched the mourning heart of Clark’s son, Joe Millspaugh, who is also a marathoner. But Steve began to realize the more important thing was to somehow share Clark’s example with other men, encouraging them to truly make a difference in the second half of their lives…to finish strong. “Clark had an impact on dozens of men just like me. I began to wonder about that. What if Clark’s ultimate legacy in not just the Westside Harvest Market? What if his true legacy is an appeal to men? What if we asked ourselves: What would it take to help men in Tulsa move from consumers and spectators to owners, fully engaged in the (Father’s) business? Would the response be like my friend who had said, ‘Whatever it takes?’ Clark lived at the confluence of several renewal movements: Halftime, Promise Keepers, Men’s Fraternity, Wild at Heart, 24/7 Prayer. What could happen if all of the men he knew or all of the men in Tulsa who have benefited from these same streams could be called forth (from their dissatisfied, disconnected and

throughout this journey and I know He will until it’s complete. He has clearly been at work on my heart and soul. “Be still and know that I’m God” has taken on a new dimension. -Performance, busyness, striving, control, pride, success, idolatry, planning, have all taken such a foothold in my life that it’s taken these seven weeks for me to truly recognize my need for repentance and to seek forgiveness from those I love. It’s going to mean a new life of “resting in Jesus” I’ve missed the rest and intimacy.” Not many people would string that confession together - Performance, busyness, striving, control, pride, success, idolatry, planning – however, I am certain if we were truly honest with ourselves we would all say a hearty amen that we too suffer with the same list of afflictions. Interesting that God would allow us to be stricken with a horrible disease in order to allow us to understand the simplicity of His love for us. He doesn’t require us to jump through myriad religious hoops…He, on the contrary, desires for us to sit in His lap, look Him in the eye and say thank you. Thank you for loving me enough to allow me to suffer. Thank you for opening my eyes to the crazy sin of performance. Thank you for allowing me to really experience life through serving others. Thank you for being the God of love who so wants to have an intimate relationship with me. Just thank you.” “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

January 2013 Communit yS p ir itmagaz ine.com

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extraordinary women

The Extraordinary Women Conference Coming to Mabee Center! March 1st and 2nd

he date is set, the tickets are selling quickly and the Extraordinary Women Conference, otherwise known as eWomen Conference will soon be lighting up Tulsa once again with praise, worship and with a terrific list of inspirational speakers. Women from all over the region will be flooding into The Mabee Center for two days packed full of spirit-sparked fun, learning and motivation. Conference Host, author and fabulous speaker, Julie Clinton has pulled together two days you will never forget, featuring speakers such as Angela Thomas, author of Do You Think I’m Beautiful; Margaret Feinberg, author and popular speaker at churches and conferences such as Catalyst, Thrive, CreationFest, and YouthSpecialties, Pam Tebow, home school pioneer and mother of NFL Quarterback Tim Tebow and the refreshing and encouraging teacher and lecturer, Kasey Van Norman. In addition, you are guaranteed lots of laughs with the hilarious Tim Hawkins! Tim has become a favorite around the country with his comedy and guitar performances. If you don’t know Tim, do a quick YouTube search and watch some of his great routines. We promise you will roll with laughter. In addition to the great speakers, you will be entertained by incredible musical artist Michael O’Brien, former lead singer of NewSong and by five time GMA Female Vocalist of the Year, Natalie Grant. 16

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january 2013

This year’s eWomen Conference will be held on Friday and Saturday, March 1st and 2nd. Tickets are available on the Mabee Center website at www.mabeecenter.com or by visiting the www. ewomen.net. Tickets range in price from $74 to $94. Grab your girlfriends and get registered. You don’t want to miss this one!

About eWomen Extraordinary Women exists to help draw women closer to the heart of God… everyday. Extraordinary Women is not just a Christian women’s event… it’s a lifestyle. “It is our desire, our prayer, that through the Extraordinary Women Association we can keep in touch throughout the year and minister to your spiritual needs and help you draw closer to God and those you hold dearest,” says Julie Clinton, President, Extraordinary Women Association. Extraordinary Women’s vision is to draw women closer to the heart of God and His extraordinary plan for their daily lives, sharing with women, regardless of their religious affiliation, the love, acceptance and completeness God has for us.

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randy cowell | AC T Fi n an ci al

Financial Steps You Can Take to Prepare for the New Year

o you long for financial freedom? If you do here are some steps you can take that WILL eventually get you there. As we plan for the New Year, let’s agree that no matter the circumstances we find ourselves in, we will never lose site of how fortunate and blessed we are. I am reminded of a bible verse that speaks to this very subject: “In everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians: 518. 1. Establish a budget. Accounting for the resources that God has entrusted you to steward is of the utmost importance. Can you imagine a manager of a business when asked by the company owner “Please provide an accounting of my enterprise”, he would not be able to provide one? How would the manager demonstrate his service to the company? Speaking from the perspective of a business owner, I can tell you that would not be an ideal situation. There are many resources that can assist you in the creation of a budget. I have found Crown Financial to have excellent resources. You can find additional info at crown.org/personalfinance. 2. Establish an emergency reserve. Once you have established a budget, you can create an account that is for the sole purpose of handling life’s financial emergencies. “What constitutes an emergency?” you ask. I’ll give you a couple of hints. A pair of 5- inch stilettos for the upcoming party or a new shotgun for hunting season doesn’t qualify. The car breaking down or water heater needing to be replaced definitely does. One of the best ways to come up with extra cash fast is to stop eating out and start eating at the dinner table. Not only is it healthier for you and your family, but you will actually get to visit with your family without the “eating out” interruptions. 3. Reduce your consumer debt. Because of the economic uncertainty that faces us all, I believe that reducing the amount of consumer debt is a smart move. Start with the non-collateralized credit card debt first. There are several strategies you can utilize. Whether you start with the highest balance or the account with the highest interest rate, the important factor here is that you get started. I recommend you pay off the smallest balance first and then celebrate a minor victory. Once the confetti has settled role up you sleeves and get busy applying your 18

C o m m u n i t y Spi ri tma g a zi n e.com J anuary 2013

newly freed up cash to the next balance. You will be amazed how fast you can pay down your debts. 4. Learn to be content and to live within your means. I know what you are thinking. I want it, and I want it NOW!!!!!! I think this may be the very reason that many American households have unfettered credit problems and ancillary marital problems associated with trying to keep up with the Jones. In Paul’s writings to the church at Philippi he spoke specifically on the subject of contentment. “I know what is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any situation and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.” Philippians 10:1113. So, what do you think? I hope you agree that all of us could benefit from a good dose of the “C” word.

Happy New Year! With the New Year upon us I sincerely hope the best for our country and the readership of this great magazine. I look back at my career(s), my family and friends and I consider myself amazingly blessed. Let’s work diligently this year to accomplish all that God would have us do. Remember, you and I can do everything through Him who gives us strength. Have a Happy and blessed New Year! RANDY C. COWELL ACT FINANCIAL Randy C. Cowell is a columnist and President of ACT Financial Services, Inc. in Tulsa, Oklahoma. He is the author of “God Good-Debt Bad”. Randy welcomes your thoughts and prayers. He can be reached at 918-664-0081 or by e-mail at rcowell@htk.com.

celebrity attractions

Coming Soon! JEKYLL & HYDE, PETER PAN & WESTSIDE STORY!

roadway is only a few miles away. Seated in the lovely Tulsa Performing Arts Center, you can enjoy some of the country’s most popular plays and musicals without the travel or the expense of going to New York City. We have Larry Payton and his crew at Celebrity Attractions for this luxury. Along with loyal sponsors such as American Airlines, Channel 6 and the Tulsa World, they invest in the hope that Tulsa will respond to good entertainment and that our community will be the better for it. Like Tulsans, the shows are varied in style, in storyline and even in ratings. Some are kid-friendly and others are not. However, Celebrity Attractions does a terrific job of choosing shows which the average Tulsan is going to enjoy. The upcoming shows are wonderful examples. Beginning January 22-27 is the classical tale of good and evil, JEKYLL & HYDE. After four thrilling, chilling years on Broadway and multiple world-wide tours, this dark and dangerous love story from Tony® and Grammy Award nominee Frank Wildhorn returns in a stunning new production that includes all of the classic songs (This is the Moment, A New Life, Someone Like You) that first grabbed audiences by the throat and transformed JEKYLL & HYDE into the theatrical phenomenon. It is an adult rated show. In fact, Celebrity Attractions recommends it for ages 15 and over. But the show’s Broadway acclaim testifies that although it is admittedly dark, is this is powerful entertainment full of creative scenes and breathtaking vocals. American Idol star and Tony® Award nominee, Constantine Maroulis, stars in the dual title role of Dr. Henry Jekyll and Edward Hyde. Alongside him is Grammy Award nominee and R&B superstar Deborah Cox as Lucy. Together, they inject new life into the classic tale of good and evil. Then, on March 5-10, is the always fun, Peter Pan, starring Olympian, Cathy Rigby! As the Washington Post said, “PETER PAN sparkles with fairy dust! Rigby has mastered the boy who wouldn’t grow up.” Tony® Award nominee Cathy Rigby takes flight in an all-new production of PETER PAN! Discover the magic all over again of this two time Emmy award winning and two time Tony® Award nominated production. The New York Times says, “Rigby still carries off the flights, fights and acrobatics that make PETER PAN audiences mesmerized.” PETER PAN is filled with timeless magical moments and a captivating hook. The legend you thought you knew, is now the adventure you never dreamed possible... Cathy Rigby is PETER PAN! Finally, from April 30th through May 5th, you can enjoy the incomparable WESTSIDE STORY. More than fifty years ago, it was this musical which changed theater forever. Now it’s back, and mesmerizing audiences once again. From the first note to the final breath, WEST SIDE STORY soars as the greatest love story of all time and remains as powerful, poignant and timely as ever. The new Broadway cast album of WEST SIDE STORY won the 2010 Grammy Award for Best Musical Show Album. The Bernstein and

Sondheim score is considered to be one of Broadway’s finest and features such classics of the American musical theatre as “Something’s Coming,” “Tonight,” “America,” “I Feel Pretty” and “Somewhere.” “So exciting IT MAKES YOU ACHE WITH PLEASURE” -John Lahr, The New Yorker Celebrity Attractions recommends WEST SIDE STORY for audiences of ages 13 and over. Three great shows offered by one great company. Thank you Celebrity Attractions! Tulsa is a much bigger town because of your efforts. A Note about Recommended Ages… Just like going to a movie at your local movie theatre, Parents should always check into any show. The ratings are only to be used as a suggestion for you and your child. Each child is different and the decision to attend this show should be made by the parent or guardian. Consider supporting Broadway in Tulsa by purchasing season tickets. The shows listed above are only a part of the incredible 2012-2013 Broadway Season. For season ticket information, call 918.596.7109 Monday thru Friday 10am to 5:30pm. Another Note: Yes, it is true! Lion King really is coming back! June 4-23!

januar y 2013 Communitysp ir itmagaz ine.com

end of mayan calendar the holidays next up

zombie apocalypse Run faster by breaking away from the pack... of cigarettes. Call or go online for free quit coaching plus free patches, gum or lozenges. Plan your quit and increase your chances of survival!

918-595-4226

oklahoma tobacco helpline

Think you can NEVER QUIT?

Think again. A True Story

In the winter of 2010, Andrea Felsinger quit smoking for a while. But since her husband didn’t quit, the temptation was just too much for her and she was soon lighting up more than ever. But then, they discovered the Oklahoma Tobacco Helpline. “I couldn’t have done it without the Helpline. They were really nice and they didn’t judge me or tell me that it

The Tobacco Settlement Endowment Trust is pleased to offer the Oklahoma Tobacco Helpline, a FREE service for all Oklahomans with a desire to stop smoking or using other tobacco products. Through the Helpline, callers receive one-on-one “Quit Coaching” help, specialized materials, and referrals to community resources. To help keep them on track, callers interested in receiving follow-up can even enroll in the Helpline’s multiple call program in which they will receive a series of telephone based coaching sessions with the same “Quit Coach” throughout their quitting process. If you participate in the multiple call program, you may also receive free nicotine patches, or gum, or they may can assist you work with your health insurance company or health care professional to make a plan for additional treatment. Don’t have insurance? The folks at Helpline realize that many Oklahomans are without insurance coverage, and that many others may have a health plan that does not cover these products. In an effort to help people like you, they are currently working with employers and health insurance companies to negotiate and promote full coverage of cessation services. They are also working with pharmaceutical companies to seek opportunities to make cessation aids more affordable. Ready to Start? If you’d like to quit tobacco now and forever, we invite you to begin your journey with this quality, professional service, and give yourself every chance to make this quit attempt a successful one!

So What are You Waiting On? Call the Oklahoma Tobacco Helpline at… • 1-800-QUIT-NOW (784-8669) • 1-800-793-1552 (Spanish) • 1-877-777-6534 (Deaf or Hard of Hearing)

would be easy. Instead, they understood and were there 24 hours a day. Whenever I would get a trigger to light up, whether it was in the car or with my morning coffee, I would call them and they talked me through the cravings. They even sent me some nicotine gum, absolutely for free. I am proud that I quit. It wasn’t easy, but after a week or two, I found out that it was totally worth it, especially for my kids. Call the Oklahoma Tobacco Helpline. They can help you too!

here are proven tools and professional help available to make this “quit” the absolute last. All you have to do is call and ask. In fact, people just like you are picking up the phone, getting the facts, making the choice and forever leaving the smoking habit behind. There is no reason you can’t do the same thing and January is the perfect time to make it happen.

According to the Tulsa County Health Department, approximately 24% of Tulsans are tobacco users and 1,140 Tulsans die each year from tobacco use. You should also know that Heart disease is the leading cause of death in Tulsa County. There is no reason you should be one of them. Decide today that you will make a life change. Ask for help, develop and plan and put down the tobacco forever. januar y 2013 Communitysp ir itmagaz ine.com

LOSE YOUR

QUIT

BY DANNY C AHILL

Communityspiritmagazine.com is excited to announce that Danny Cahill will now be one our featured, monthly writers. Whether you wrestle with your weight or not, you will enjoy Danny’s motivating column. We all cheered Danny on when he was on The Biggest Loser. Now, he continues to gain our applause while he shares his testimony with others. Danny loves the Lord and is not shy about telling people about Him. It is a blessing to the magazine to have his monthly article. Be sure to watch for Danny’s article each month. It will be in a new section we are adding on health and wellness.

GOAL SETTING: Steps

ow, after you’ve defined your goal, it’s time to take action. When I decided to get on The Biggest Loser, I had a goal in mind. I wanted to win the show – so I did a little research! My goal wasn’t about anyone else; my goal was about ME. During your path to completing your goal, keep your focus on what you can control – YOU! Don’t worry about the things you can’t control, such as others, circumstances, etc. During your journey keep your focus on you. My research was simple: What does it take to become the Biggest Loser? I looked up past results for the winners of the show. The winner is decided by total percentage of body weight lost during the season. My question: “What percentage would make me the Biggest Loser in the history of the show?” If I could answer that, I’d have something to shoot for! At the time, the biggest percentage to date was 52.58% (214 pounds lost) by Season 3 winner Erik Chopin. Now, the extreme guy that I was shot for 58%! If I hit that mark, no one would beat me! So I made my

goal weight 180 pounds (250 lost). I decided that I would try to lose as much weight on the show, and try for a minimum of 10 pounds per week! To do that, I’d have to burn a 35,000 calorie deficit per week, or an absolute minimum of 5,000 per day! Now I knew what to shoot for! Each day I burned 5,000 more calories than I ate! You have to break your goal up into smaller steps – waypoints. That way, you can stay on track and celebrate the small victories! Your momentum and motivation will increase as you go! I ended up losing an average of 12.91 pounds per week while at the ranch, putting me ahead of the game! After I returned home, I wanted to burn a minimum of a 3,500 calorie deficit a day for the next 60 days – or lose 60 pounds. I lost 59 pounds in 60 days with the help of accountability partners and self discipline. When the show had ended, I didn’t reach my goal of 180 pounds, but I did hit 191, losing 239 pounds in 6 ½ months or 55.58% - which is still the largest percentage in the history of the show making me the Biggest Loser EVER!

C o m m u n i t y Spi ri tma g a zi n e.com J anuary 2013

So set your goal, find your direction, and then break that goal up into smaller, daily or weekly steps you can measure to stay on track. Get accountability partners to help you and keep yourself motivated each day! And practice self discipline, because as I said last month, “Don’t give up what you really want for what you want right now.” PURCHASE DANNY’S NEW BOOK AT TheDannyCahill.com

About Deniece Deniece has a passion to minister to women. You are going to grow to love her and the way she tells stories, always getting to the real heart of the matter.

B Y D eniece ad s i t

Resolutions

his is the time of year when the conversation frequently goes to New Year’s resolutions. I am often asked if I have made mine for the upcoming year. My answer is always the same: I don’t make New Year’s resolutions. I made one many years ago and I have kept it. I resolved to never make “New Year’s Resolutions!” Oh, I admire those who do make them. I have even more respect for those who keep them. I don’t make resolutions because I don’t need a special day to “start over”. I don’t have to wait for the New Year, or the first of any month, or Monday to begin a diet, or exercise, or read my Bible, or be kinder to my neighbors. I can do this any day I choose. One of my favorite quotes comes from Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery. “Isn’t it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?” And that is exactly how I live my life. When I realize the path on which I am traveling isn’t working for me, I change it. Please don’t misunderstand: I don’t always get it right the first time. Sometimes it takes several attempts, so I just keep trying. When I fail to meet my goals, I remind myself that God’s mercy continues day to day.

Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. (Lamentations 3:21-23)

My oldest brother lived a hard life. The lines on his face at such a young age were a testament to the unhealthy miles he had travelled. Yet he had two great loves in life: He loved to play golf, and he loved God. He was not always good at golf, but he always gave it his best shot. The same was true for his relationship with God, although not always perfect, he valued that relationship immensely. At my brother’s farewell service, the church was packed. Extra seats had to be brought in, and people were lined around the walls. He would have been so surprised because he was really just a simple man living a simple life, one that sometimes went a little off track. My nephew, who gave the eulogy at his service, told the story of their last golf game. On one particular hole – a par three, I think – it took 14 tries for my brother to sink the ball. Most people would have given up and walked off the course, or picked up the ball and moved on to the next hole, but not my brother. He just kept swinging until he made it. And he lived his life just as he played the game of golf. When he would hit the ball and it missed the mark, he would pick up his golf club, adjust his stance, bow his head…and take another swing. My brother may not be remembered for living a perfect life. He lived an authentic life. What l will remember most about him is that he never gave up! When he tried to do the right thing and it didn’t work as he planned, he would adjust his stance, bow his head… and take another swing. I am grateful to serve a God who believes in second chances and third chances…not just for me but for everyone. Isn’t it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet!

january 2 0 1 3 Co mmu n i tysp ir itmagaz ine.com

ORU’s The Armand Hammer Alumni-Student Center Grand Opening Scheduled for Feb. 2013

he Amand Hammer Alumni-Student Center will be dedicated on February 1, 2013 at approximately 12:15 p.m. Oral Roberts University students, alumni, faculty and staff are eagerly awaiting the opening of the first major building to be constructed on the ORU campus in over 30 years. “The ORU community is thrilled for the unveiling of this beautiful new building,” said ORU President Mark Rutland. “I want to personally thank all of the alumni and friends of the university whose generous gifts made the construction of this facility possible.” The dedication ceremony will include remarks from students, alumni and ORU President Mark Rutland as well as a formal ribbon cutting and a prayer of dedication. After the ceremony, attendees will have an opportunity to see the new state-of-theart facility. Visitors will find the ground floor of the center is a recreational area for students. It houses the Student Association Offices and features two dining areas, multiple gaming stations as well as the largest television in Oklahoma. The second floor is home to ORU’s Alumni and Development Offices and offers an alumni lounge as well as various conference rooms for alumni and donor events.

“Having the resources in-house to entirely pay for the Hammer Center is a testament to the commitment that our alumni and friends have for the vision of ORU,” said ORU Executive Vice President for University Advancement Ossie Mills. “Our alumni and friends believe in this university and continue to show their support through giving their time, talent and treasure.” ORU has experienced an unprecedented resurgence over the past several years. They have successfully eliminated $55 million in long-term debt. Since 2009, the university has also completed nearly $40 million in campus improvements to residence halls, Christ’s Chapel, the Learning Resources/ Graduate Center, the Aerobics Center, the Mabee Center, the Prayer Tower and Timko-Barton Hall. In addition to these on campus improvements ORU has experience four straight years of enrollment growth. This past fall they welcomed the largest incoming freshman class in 10 years along with their third year of freshman retention over 80%.

januar y 2013 Communitysp ir itmagaz ine.com

Calling all ORU Alumni!

It is high time you came home. Don’t you think? Friday, February 1st Homecoming Registration is from 10 am – 4:30 p.m in the Mabee Center North Lobby Of course, don’t miss Homecoming Chapel at 10:55 a.m. in Christ’s Chapel. There will be reserved seating for alumni. One of the biggest events of the weekend is the Armand Hammer Alumni-Student Center dedication. This will take place at 12:15 p.m. on Friday, Feb. 1 on the westside of the Hammer Center. Open House is on Feb. 1, 1-4:30 p.m. and Feb. 2, 9:30-4:00 p.m. Tours–both formal and self-guided will be offered. And either before or after, you will want to take in the impressive Business Showcase from 9-10:55 a.m. or 1:303 p.m. in Christ’s Chapel Lobby. It is a new event which provides an opportunity to network with alumni, showcase your organization and hire students.” Booth rental is $100. This fee will provide each employer with a fully equipped booth as well as lunch for two and two tickets to the Alumni Homecoming Banquet. Depending upon the year of your graduation, there are special activities for you to consider.

Homecoming is just around the corner and the campus, recently redone and looking better than ever, is calling your name. Just imagine a walk through time… meeting with old friends, walking around the Praying Hands and maybe even playing some ultimate Frisbee or getting lost AGAIN in the LRC. Hundreds of your fellow alumni will be there, attending a long list of special events, designed especially with you in mind. It all starts on Friday, February 1st and extends through an action-packed Saturday. So, read through the list of events, then call your ol’ buddies and make plans on where to meet. You have every reason to be proud of your ORU heritage and this is a chance for you to relive some memories while you celebrate the future God has in store for this great university.

C o m m u n i t y Spi ri tma g a zi n e.com J anuary 2013

• Alumni who graduated between 2000 and 2012 will share a reunion dinner on Friday night in the Hammer Center’s Alumni Room, located on the second floor. • The 40-year+ Pioneers--alumni who were at ORU between 1965 and 1973--will enjoy a reception and reunion dinner on Friday night in the newly renovated Stovall Administrative Center lobby. Alumni in the 40+ group are also invited to get together for lunch at Goldie’s (51st and Lewis) at 12:15 p.m. on Friday, right before the Alumni-Student Center dedication. • The Class of 1973 is hosting an All-alumni Open House at the Prayer Tower on Friday 9:00 a.m. – 10:45 a.m. • The Class of 1993’s 20th Year Reunion, Friday at 5:30 p.m. in the Grand Slam Room (J.L. Johnson Stadium.) • The Class of 1983’s 30th Year Reunion, Friday at 5:30 p.m. in the Trustee’s Dining Room. The Class of 1983 Reunion will feature guest speaker Ron Luce and special music by Jennifer

Crow. Something else that will be fun: SPEED SOCIALIZING! Reunion organizers Jeff and Gloria Smith promise that “you will catch up with your 1983 classmates faster than ever before!” • Vespers! Many alumni will tell you that as students, Vespers was the highlight of their week. So, what would Homecoming be without a Vespers service? This year’s service will be held on Friday night in Christ’s Chapel, featuring worship leaders Don Moen and Glenn Packiam. And after the service, there will be a reception in the lobby. This will be a wonderful time to visit with old friends. Time from 8:00 p.m.-10 p.m.

ORU To Display Rare Biblical Exhibit

SATURDAY, February 2ND On Saturday morning, Legacy Parents will meet for breakfast; Board Chair Mart Green will be the special speaker. The exciting Homecoming Alumni Banquet & Alumnus of the Awards will be held from 4:30-6:30 p.m. in the Student Cafeteria. The cost is $15 per ticket. Table sponsorships are also available for reserved seating. This year’s “Alumnus of the Year” award recipients are Jim and Tamara Graff – Service to God, Stephen Mansfield – Service to Community and Gordan and Linda Helm – Service to the Alma Mater. There are many other fun events planned through the weekend. Check the website for more details. You can register for homecoming at www.alumni.oru.edu/ homecoming or by calling the office of Alumni Relations at 918-495-6610. The reservation deadline is January 15, 2013..

Photo Courtesy of The Green Collection

Wednesday, January 30th – Saturday Feb 2nd Time: 10 a.m.- 8 p.m. Location: Mabee Center South Lobby Admission is free and open to the public.

Come support Golden Eagles Basketball at homecoming! Saturday, February 2, 2013 ORU vs. Southeastern Louisiana 5:00 p.m. Women’s Game 7:30 p.m. Men’s Game Purchase tickets by calling the Mabee Center ticket office or go online to www.mabeecenter.com

Highlights of the exhibit include the following: • Greek papyri dating from the late 2nd to early 3rd centuries AD • A leaf from the Codex Climaci Rescriptus – preserving one of the earliest and most extensive copies of the New Testament in the dialect closest to Jesus’ household languagePalestinian Aramaic • Several medieval manuscripts dating from the 13th through 15th centuries • A leaf from the first printing of the Gutenberg Bible • Volumes from the two earliest printings of the King James Tranlation of the Bible -the Great “He” and “She” Bibles of 1611 and 1611/13 • An Aitken Bible – the first complete Bible printed in English in America

januar y 2013 Communitysp ir itmagaz ine.com

ask

pastor

the

Every month Community Spirit will feature a new pastor from around the community to answer some of life’s most interesting questions. Make sure you check it monthly, maybe your pastor will be next! prayer that made the priority list according to Jesus is, “Give us this day our daily bread.” Sounds a little selfish, right? Most of us in America have so much bread that we throw away the bread that gets a little stale, and open a new package. So the pious thing to do would be to pray for starving people in other nations who could use some bread, right? But, of course, “daily bread” used here does not represent food only. It also stands for warmth, clothing, shelter, income, relationships, and all the other things we need on a daily basis to make life sustainable and even comfortable. Jesus says that is a valid prayer concern to bring to our Father. However, notice that praying for our personal daily needs is not the starting point if want to pray the kind of prayer Jesus taught us. That’s why I responded with a “qualified” yes to the question about the appropriateness of praying for personal blessings. In the model Jesus gave us, some other priorities occupy the top of the list. Those priorities direct our focus toward God and His purposes. The first mentioned priority is “hallowed be your name.” We are to honor and worship God and bring glory to His name. The second topic of prayer is the kingdom of God: “your kingdom come.” Then comes praying the will of God: “Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” Obviously Jesus invites us to bring our needs to the Father. But He also told his disciples that the Father knows the things we need and said, “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well” (Matt. 6:33 NIV). In fact Jesus let his disciples know that God is not only willing to answer our requests, He is even glorified by answering: “And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son” (John 14:13). So keep the priorities right, ask, and give God the opportunity to receive glory by revealing his goodness and power through answered prayer!

Is it okay to ask for personal blessings?

y answer is a qualified yes. There are numerous examples in the Bible of people who asked for and received personal blessings. Barren Hannah desperately prayed that God would not forget her, but would give her a son. When her prayer was answered, she named her son Samuel, saying, “Because I asked the Lord for Him.” Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, “Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.” Without further commentary, the Bible simply records, “And God granted his request. The Psalms contain many of David’s prayers as he cried out to God to save him from his enemies, heal him when he was afflicted and his spirit was crushed, and deliver him from his troubles. In Psalm 34:17 David declares with the voice of experience “The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; He delivers them from all their troubles.” When the disciples of Jesus said to him, “Lord teach us to pray, just as John taught his disciples,” Jesus gave them a comprehensive outline for prayer that focused not so much on how we are to pray, but on what we pray. One of the subjects of

Norm Wilkie Pastor, Spirit Life Church Norm Wilkie is Senior Pastor of SpiritLife Church in Tulsa, formerly known as Evangelistic Temple. He served the congregation as an associate pastor with Dr. Dan Beller for 18 years before becoming the senior pastor in 2001. Norm has a Master of Ministry degree from Southwestern Christian University. He and his wife Sherrye have two children and 6 grandchildren.

January 2013 Communit yS p ir itmagaz ine.com

ice and snow. This winter promises plenty of cold days and probably some life threatening. but able, For the homeless, bitter cold makes life not only miser shelter, and John 3:16 Mission offers homeless people hot meals, warm r. appropriate clothing to help them make it safely through winte You can help by donating the following items to the Mission:

• socks & underwear (new) • mittens • gloves • scarves • coats

Jussatnd$S1h.el9te2rs

Feed a Homeless Person on a Bitter Night!

• hats • sweaters • blankets

Your financial donations will be used to feed, shelter and provide recovery services. It costs only $1.92 to feed and shelter a homeless person. Please help restore Tulsa’s homeless – our neediest neighbors – in Christ’s name. Call 918-587-1186 or visit www.john316mission.org to make a donation to feed, shelter and clothe the homeless this winter.

“Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth” 1 John 3:18 (NIV)

www.john316mission.org

STEVE MOELLER FLORAL HAVEN

Question: Why does federal law require embalming, except with cremation? Is it really necessary? I’d really like to know a bit of the history on this.

here are no state or federal laws that require embalming. Oklahoma law directs that a body be buried, embalmed or cremated within 24 hour of death and that time frame can be extended by using refrigeration. The only time it might be required is in the case of a mass tragedy, when individual identification is difficult or immediate disposition is not possible. The main purpose of embalming today is to allow a family added time to make plans and gather the family together for a service. The precursors to modern embalming practices date back to the dynasties of the Egyptian pharos, when their bodies were preserved prior to their placement in elaborate mausoleum crypts. Those preparatory procedures were far different than those used today and required more than a month to complete. More modern embalming techniques began developing in the United States during the Civil War, when Southerners and Northerners were concerned about bringing their loved ones home for burial, rather than leaving them in enemy territory. These preservative practices were primitive by modern standards, but were simply designed to delay decomposition. Modern embalming developed as our society became more mobile and family members began to spread out across the nation. It was developed to not only significantly retard decomposition, but also to allow family members and friends to see that person again to say their goodbyes. Perhaps a simple way to explain the value that it offers is with the story of my father’s death, about 15 years ago. We moved my parents from Arizona to a house next to ours in the early 90’s, when my father was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and my mother was in the very early stages of dementia. After my father died, even though my mother was with him, she could not remember that he had died an hour later. Even though his wish was to be cremated, we had him embalmed so that my mother could have a few days to visit him at the funeral home, prior to the service, to help her better accept and retain that he had died. During the visitation time, my sister, who lived out of state and had not seen Dad in a couple of months, went into the visitation room by herself and spent a long time talking to him. Even though she knew he was gone, that was the image with which she was accustomed to sharing her heart and she found it emotionally helpful to be able to have this last conversation. That time of visitation helped us all to day our personal goodbyes. The cremation was then done after the services were held. For many people, there is an emotional need to see that person

once again for their death to be better accepted and processed. Embalming allows people the chance to gather their thoughts and the opportunity to meet together to do this. Without embalming, the time frame for doing this and the chance to see their loved ones dressed and looking more as they did in life if far more limited, if not impossible. The purpose of a visitation is not, as some suggest, a denial of the death, but really an opportunity to be able to spend a bit longer last amount of time in their physical presence. Viewing and visitation are designed to provide a transition from having that person as a living participant in your life to that time when they are simply a memory. Studies have shown that this can be a positive element in reducing the negative stress factors on our immune systems and in moving through our grief. Many people today think that by pre-planning a direct cremation or immediate burial with no services of any kind that they are making things easier for their surviving family members. While the intended goal of making things easier is a noble one, it is sometimes the case that this limiting of the opportunity to process the loss and express the grief in a supportive environment has more negative than positive impact in the long run. STEVE MOELLER Director, Floral Haven Steve Moeller is a licensed funeral director, has been in funeral service for 35 years and the Director of Community Relations at Floral Haven. He is a certified Grief Recovery Specialist and also serves as the Mid-America Educator for the Grief Recovery Institute in California. Steve has lead Grief Recovery Workshops at Floral Haven for 20 years, is active in a variety of community organizations and is a frequent speaker in matters concerning grief and recover. He also serves on the “Ask The Experts” panel at FuneralPlan.com.

Our free Personal Planning Guide and the option of Non-Funded Pre-Arrangements make protecting your family affordable for everyone!

FLORAL HAVEN

Crematory • Funeral Home • Cemetery • Floral Shop Family Center • Mausoleums • Cremation Gardens (918) 252-2518 www.FloralHaven.com January 2013 Communit yS p ir itmagaz ine.com