A GIfT of musIC

by caroLyn LiLLehaugen MiLestones photography

Bowman shares her gift of music with Sanford patients

Bonnie Bowman is a firm believer in embracing the gifts God has given her and using them to make the world a better place. Her most recent venue for using her God-given talents is at the palliative care unit at Sanford Medical Center in Fargo where she can frequently be found playing the piano for patients and families as they move through the end stages of life.

Bowman became aware of her gift of music when she was very young. One Sunday during the worship service at the little Methodist church in Bowman, North Dakota, four-yearold Bowman listened to all of the hymns and liturgy the organist played. She turned to her Mom and said, “I would be able play all of that.” Later that same day without the aid of any written music or outside instruction, Bowman did just that. She played, by ear, the music from the whole morning’s service.

Fast forward to her college years. Bowman began her education at Jamestown College intending to major in elementary education. After taking a break for marriage and parenthood, Bowman returned to finish her degree at Moorhead State University. Unfortunately, she experienced a sense of confusion and ambivalence about her career choice. As Bowman describes it, she prayed for guidance and imagined an exasperated God finally getting through to her, “Honey, do what you are good at. Do what you were made to do.” That’s when she changed her major to music education, a perfect fit.

Since that time Bowman has flourished in her career as a music teacher at many area schools, most recently at Kindred Elementary where she and her students routinely “wow” packed auditoriums with incredible concerts. Bowman loves encouraging her students to “find out what they’re good at and get out there and do it!”

In early 2012, Bowman found herself in what she describes as “a marvelously awful place.” She was in the palliative care unit at Sanford watching, waiting, and comforting her partner of 20 years, John Gassmann, as he went through the final stages of terminal cancer. One day, as Gassman’s death was clearly near, Bowman was singing for John, several nurses joined in. It was a beautiful experience and Bowman casually mentioned that she played piano and would be interested in helping other families in the future with her gift of music.

The staff had long had a vision of integrating more music into the care provided for patients. Martha Burns, clinical care supervisor on the unit said, “Bonnie’s offer was just the impetus we needed to move forward.” A portable piano was purchased, Bowman completed volunteer training, and the arrangement began, integrating a flexible schedule to provide music as a form of comfort for patients and families at this challenging stage.

During her times with the patients and families, Bowman asks for favorite songs. Because she plays by ear and has perfect pitch, she can play any song they request. What emerges during this time together is a unique and grace-filled experience. Once, a woman quite near death, somehow communicated to her sister that she would like Bowman to play “In the Garden.” Next, Bowman transitioned into the songs the woman had selected for her funeral and a peaceful feeling of joy seemed to envelope the woman who was just hours from death.

In another room, a man was celebrating both his 89th birthday and 69th wedding anniversary. His wife requested a favorite from their courting days, “Let Me Call You Sweetheart,” and a song from their wedding, “I Love You Truly.” In honor of his time in the armed service, Bowman also played many military and patriotic songs, and since he was a Minnesota Twins fan she played “Take Me Out to the Ballgame.” Throughout the visit, the couple held hands and the family was able to take photos of this special time of respite.

Whether playing hymns for a former church musician, or waltzes and polkas for a couple who loved to dance, each experience seems to reflect the unique personality of the patient and family. The setting promotes a very spiritual situation where family members gain comfort in letting go of their loved one.

As Bowman described her role, “it is a privilege to be able to accompany someone through the dying process.” With her unique gift of music, Bowman will continue to do what she so frequently reminds her students, “We all have gifts; it is up to us to find them and share them with others.” {AWM}