PArenTs leAD

Listen, Educate, Ask, Discuss

by Dr. sharon Query

Have you ever been uncomfortable in starting a conversation with your child? Ever wished there was one place to go to find out some suggestions? As a parent, talking to your child about certain subjects can be difficult, but it’s not impossible. The Parents LEAD website was created to assist you in helping your kids make the right decisions.

Parents LEAD (Listen, Educate, Ask, Discuss) is a North Dakota-specific underage drinking prevention program designed to provide resources and information to parents so that they engage in age-appropriate, ongoing discussion with their children to prevent underage drinking. The Parents LEAD program was originally developed by the North Dakota Department of Transportation (NDDOT) in 2005, and was redesigned in 2011 through a partnership between four state agencies: NDDOT, North Dakota University System (NDUS) Consortium for Substance Abuse Prevention, North Dakota Department of Human Services (DHS) and North Dakota State University Extension Service. This redesign sought to provide comprehensive, research-based and age-appropriate information, tips, tools and resources to parents on how to talk to their children about alcohol. Designed to provide valuable resources to parents with children of all ages, the key component to Parents LEAD is a website, www.parentslead.org.

Parents LEAD includes tips for starting that difficult conversation, handling questions from children, and suggestions for prevention measures that are effective for children at each individual developmental stage. The program includes methods of communication for toddlers through the college/ young adult years, so families with children of all ages can prepare for educated, targeted conversations on the topic of underage drinking.

When parents visit www.parentslead. org they will have the opportunity to sign up for email communications containing content based on their child’s (or children’s) specific age and/or grade. A Facebook page and interactive blog, written by Dr. Sharon Query, 4-H Youth Development Specialist with the NDSU Extension Center for 4-H Youth Development, is also included on the website, and will allow parents to ask specific questions surrounding the topic of underage drinking.

Make sure your child knows your rules and that you’ll enforce the consequences if rules are broken. Kids are less likely to use alcohol, tobacco and other drugs if their parents have established a pattern of setting clear rules and consequences for breaking those rules. This applies to no-use rules about tobacco, alcohol and other drugs — as well as bedtimes and homework. Have clear expectations for behavior, monitor your child and implement appropriate consequences. In setting these rules, be sure you discuss your rules and expectations in advance and follow through with the consequences you’ve set.

Don’t forget to acknowledge times when your child follows the rules! Parents who have a warm relationship with their children while maintaining rules for behavior are teaching their children self-discipline. Parents who have rules that are too harsh or no rules at all are more likely to have children who are at greater risk for drug-taking behavior.

If you use tobacco or alcohol, be mindful of the message you are sending to your children. We may unknowingly be relaying a message that we don’t want. Avoid giving your child sips of alcohol, asking them to grab you a beer from the fridge, taking your child with you into a bar or liquor store, or asking them to pass your cigarettes. By avoiding these behaviors, you reinforce your message that alcohol and tobacco are not for children and they are dangerous for growing bodies. [AWM]

For more information on the Parents LEAD project, please visit www.parentslead.org or Facebook.com/ParentsLEAD.