Daily Lobo 04/01/2024

ailyD l obo new mexico

UNMPD announces ‘Small Arms Division’: New animal task force comprised of T. rexes

By Maria Fernandez @DailyLobo

The University of New Mexico Police Department announced at a press conference on Wednesday, March 27 that they will expand the animal police force to include a pack of Tyrannosaurus rexes.

T. rexes are known for their speed, agility and smarts. Their inherent sense for sniffing out blood will be utilized on the job. It will also be expanded to detect various paraphernalia and explosives, UNMPD Chief Ian Winterhalder said.

The dinosaurs are capable of running at an impressive 12 miles per hour, faster than 90% of the current police force, according to UNMPD’s website.

Their color vision and keen peripheral sight will especially come in handy, Winterhalder said.

T. rexes were part of a long list of options for the next animal to suit up for police work, beating out highland cows, snapping turtles and sloths, Winterhalder said.

“In the past, we have utilized horses, and while they have done satisfactory work in their duties, UNMPD is looking ahead to the next generation of the animal police force,” Winterhalder said. “We hope the students feel safer with the T. rexes on campus.”

The force has assigned Taylor Aaron-Johnson to be head of the Small Arms Division (SAD) where he will oversee the training of the T. rexes, as well as day-to-day operations once they are ready to begin working, according to UNMPD’s website.

Their main priority will be patrolling campus and keeping students safe, Aaron-Johnson said.

“We know T. rexes often have a bad reputation in society, and we look forward to breaking the stigma and showing the UNM community that T. rexes can be very protective and loveable. There is only a 2% chance the T. rexes would decide to eat someone, based on research, so students have nothing to worry about,” Aaron-Johnson said.

A spokesperson for UNMPD, Roger Fleetwood, stated in a press release the department also hopes the presence of the T. rexes will encourage students to be on their best behavior.

“We hope the students keep in mind: no one can escape the short arm of the law,” Winterhalder said during the conference.

see Small Arms Division page 3

A million dollars worth of Pistol Pete art found UNM Art Museum wanted for fraud

By Marcela Johnson @DailyLobo

The University of New Mexico Art Museum (UNMAM) has created a scandal for the Art Department after a Center for the Arts janitor, Henry Robinson, stumbled upon millions of dollars worth of Pistol Pete art last Monday.

“I was looking for some old supplies that we used to keep in a shared space, and when I opened that door, all this Pistol Pete crap came falling on me,” Robinson said. “That’s gotta be a safety violation.”

The UNMAM has denied any involvement with the storage closet and its contents. UNMAM Director Anna Lyre has said that she does not believe it exists.

“Obviously I keep a close eye on everything the museum has, so if we did have a storage closet like that, I would know about it,” Lyre said.

When asked about the upcoming exhibits, Lyre said that she cannot be expected to keep track of everything the museum is doing. Coordinator

of Unauthorized Pieces Jo Mana declined to comment on the matter.

New Mexico State University’s Art Museum has spoken out in a collective statement composed by Director Les Than.

“Unlike UNM, we have never had to make a statement regarding the relationship status of our mascots. Apparently, they want what we have,” Than said.

The area around the storage site has been sectioned off from the rest of the building due to a mess the art created when it fell.

If not for the safety goggles he always wears, Robinson said he would have scratched his eye.

“It’s one thing to hoard the rival school’s mascot drawn in different suggestive poses on multiple different mediums – it’s another thing to not practice safe storage,” Robinson said.

UNM Art Department Professor Jack Scott has appraised the art at around $3.5 million. He said that most of the pieces would have had to be commissioned.

“The sheer volume of pieces is really what makes it worth so much,” Scott said. “I’m surprised they have

see Pistol Pete page 3

BERNARD: UNM will include jousting after fatal prophecy is revealed

HLAING: Opinion: Football is too complicated and I don’t like it (pg. 4)

New bus driver Ms. Frizzle put on leave due to horrifying adventure

‘With the Frizz? No way!’ Stokes said

By Nate Bernard @DailyLobo

If you’re cruising on down University, relaxing and feeling good, you might have been lucky enough to spot the University of New Mexico’s newest shuttle bus driver, Valerie Frizzle, known locally as Ms. Frizzle. Frizzle, although just recently hired, has also been put on temporary leave due to misconduct related to “adventuring.” Her employment at UNM has been questioned in less than a week since her hiring on Tuesday, March 26.

Frizzle is a former elementary school science teacher who was searching for a career change. When the opportunity arose, she decided to begin driving shuttle buses for UNM, Frizzle said.

Frizzle revolutionized Albuquerque transportation by bringing curiosity into the bus, according to student and shuttle bus passenger Car Rapond.

“The Frizz is the best. Usually

I see some pretty wacky things around Albuquerque, but she makes the rides even crazier than normal,” Ramon said.

Frizzle’s bus is unlike the others and can shrink down to the size of an atom. Between driving to the different parking lots located across campus, Frizzle enjoys exploring Albuqeruque’s oddities with her passengers, she said.

One of the adventures Frizzle and her passengers partook in was exploring a mysterious stain located on a table outside of the Student Union Building. Another adventure featured Frizzle’s bus shrinking to the size of a bacteria and exploring the food at La Posada Dining Hall.

Recent controversy has surrounded Frizzle after she took bus passengers to explore human anatomy. On Friday, March 29, Frizzle shrank the bus and entered a sandwich ordered by none other than UNM President Garnett Stokes.

Without realizing, Stokes

see Ms. Frizzle page 3

FULTON: LoboAlerts fails to warn UNM students of impending doom (pg. 5)

HLAING: STEM in the sky, humanities in the hollows (pg. 7)

FULTON: UNM sorority hosts fight club for Rush (pg. 11)

HOPKINS: UNM provides new grad student housing... undergound (pg. 7)

PUKITE: SHAC opens retirement center to accommodate wait times (pg. 13)

Maria Fernandez / DailyLobo / @DailyLobo NMPD officer rides Offic-aurus Tommy Rex on Wednesday, March 27.

Maria Fernandez/ Daily Lobo / @DailyLobo

A portrait of Pistol Pete recently discovered to have been stolen has been marked as evidence as an investigation into the fraud begins.

(pg. 4)

Lobo Louie and Lobo Lucy: Siblings or dating? An investigative report

By Karina Bolaños & Lily Alexander

@DailyLobo

& @llilyalexander

A question has long plagued University of New Mexico students and they have been left in the dark to wonder: are beloved mascots Lobo Louie and Lobo Lucy siblings or dating?

Two Daily Lobo editors teamed up to get to the bottom of the mystery, calling upon multiple eyewitnesses and combing through historical documents. Despite the University’s

insistence that Louie and Lucy are siblings, mounting evidence points to their romantic involvement.

Photographic evidence from a decade ago caught Louie and Lucy kissing in the Student Union Building. Witness of the kiss, Faye Kerr, speculated it marked the beginning of their relationship.

“The crowd went wild,” Kerr said. “Everyone loved it. You could tell it wasn’t planned, because it was a little awkward, but Louie and Lucy were looking at each other like they were the only two wolves on earth.”

Since then, sightings of the duo have exploded across campus.

One cheerleader said she has seen them leave multiple basketball games together. She asked to remain anonymous, as Louie and Lucy “already hate on the cheer team enough.”

Preeta End, UNM Cheer alumni, detailed that the two would always attend events together, and were hardly seen apart. “If Louie was there, so was Lucy –if one wasn’t there, neither was the other,” End said. “I just wish the two would be honest and come clean. I’m tired of living in the dark about this. I thought we were all closer than that.”

Even campus rival Pistol Pete has had input in the matter.

Pete, in tandem with L.I.A.R. – New

Mexico State University’s Lying Is Always Right organization – released a statement asserting it was utterly wrong for the wolves to be in love, as according to them, they are siblings.

“It’s just really weird, you know? They’re wolves, I guess, but still, where’s our morality?” Dee Seat, President of L.I.A.R., said.

The road to the truth looked bleak, but after digging through the archives, the Daily Lobo found images holding substantial evidence.

Several photographs documented the wedding ceremony and reception of Louie and Lucy held in the underground tunnels of the University back in 2016.

Trey Kerry, a seasoned Facilities

Management employee, described the beautiful and elaborate ceremony that took place on Feb. 28, 2016.

“It was really lovely,” Kerry said. “They had the whole get-up down there. From the archway to the lighting, no details were spared.”

The ceremony was officiated by UNM President Garnett Stokes, according to Kerry. Stokes did not respond to a request for comment.

The answer to our question seemed clear, but we wanted to find a way to provide indisputable evidence to Daily Lobo readers. The sources were good, but we needed cold, hard facts.

Fra Duh administers polygraph exams for various law enforcement agencies around New Mexico and volunteered to conduct an exam for Louie and Lucy. Louie agreed to the exam; meanwhile, Lucy had “better things to do,” she wrote.

Duh administered the exam last week. Several control questions about UNM were asked before the Big One.

For instance, Duh questioned Louie about whether President Stokes wears a wig, which he did not answer. The entire polygraph test held a similar structure, as Louie continued to plead the Fifth Amendment.

“Are you in love with Lobo Lucy?” Duh asked.

Again, Louie sat silently, a mischievous glint in his eye.

“Love is a pretty broad term. To say I’m in love with her, well, I don’t really think I can disclose that,” Louie eventually said.

Regarding the test, the results seemed to reflect nothing.

“At the end of the day, polygraphs are highly inaccurate and not built for wolves,” Duh said.

Karina Bolaños is the culture editor for the Daily Lobo. They can be reached at culture@dailylobo.com

Lily Alexander is the news editor for the Daily Lobo. She can be reached at news@dailylobo.com or on Twitter @ llilyalexander

Katrina Estrada / @rinaphoto / Daily Lobo Lobo Louie and Lobo Lucy pose together while the world wonders if they are dating or just siblings on Friday, March 31.

The first T. rex introduced at the press conference was Offic-aurus (an official UNMPD term) Tommy Rex.

UNMPD released an image of Tommy Rex in training with an officer on his back as he practices walking without knocking over trees or mauling living things.

“Further training will also include transitioning to a vegetarian diet, inside voices and an anger management course,” Aaron-Johnson said.

The T. rexes will also learn to doggy-paddle to patrol the duck pond

Ms. Frizzle from page 1

consumed the sandwich, which contained Frizzle and her bus passengers. This adventure shocked students who felt uncomfortable with the endeavor, according to bus passenger and student Arny Pedler.

and wear pants in public. A few select T. Rexes will be trained in stealth, Winterhalder announced during the press conference.

“Eventually, we will see the T. rexes branching out further into undercover surveillance,” Winterhalder said.

As for whether or not SAD will expand to include other dinosaurs, Winterhalder said there is the potential for a pterodactyl air defense team, among other options.

“So much money has been given to the department for this opera-

tion, we’re essentially going to have the next Jurassic Park right here at UNM. It’s going to be awesome,” Winterhalder said.

Fleetwood wrote in the press release that the T. rex officers will be available for meet-and-greets with students once they have been cleared for service.

Maria Fernandez is a freelance reporter at the Daily Lobo. She can be reached at news@dailylobo.com

Stokes’ anatomy was completely different from what she taught as a science teacher, Frizzle said.

“As we entered the nervous system, we discovered that Stokes is

“I told her ‘Please let this be a normal bus ride.’ Now I have to live with this horrifying discovery,” Pedler said.

the money for this but not the money to subscribe to my Patreon.”

Due to the proximity to the Student Union Building, the Associated Student at the University of New Mexico (ASUNM) Judicial Branch will try the case. ASUNM put out this official statement a day after

the discovery. “Wait, there’s an Art Museum on campus?” the statement read.

This story is currently unfolding. It will update when the case finally goes to court after nine months or when the Art Museum loses its funding for “a proliferation of fanart on the Universi-

made up entirely of wires and fans. We found absolutely no trace of organic material,” Frizzle said.

Frizzle and her bus passengers discovered Stokes to be a robot running entirely on oil and gas. An insatiable lust for oil and gas seemed to be driving the mechanics of her central processing unit, according to Frizzle.

“In all my years of education, I never once thought science had gone too far. Not until now,” Frizzle said.

Due to the incident, Frizzle now faces litigation from former bus passenger Pedler. He just wanted a normal bus ride, but instead received great emotional distress, which he now suffers from, Pedler said.

Stokes has put Frizzle on temporary leave after hearing of the lawsuit. It is unclear whether the results of the litigation will result in Frizzle’s permanent termination.

“I regret nothing. I did what I could for science. They should be thanking me,” Frizzle said.

Nate Bernard is a beat reporter with the Daily Lobo. He can be reached at news@dailylobo.com or on Twitter @DailyLobo

ty’s dime,” according to the most recent President’s Weekly Perspective.

Marcela Johnson is a beat reporter for the Daily Lobo. She can be contacted at culture@dailylobo.com or on Twitter @DailyLobo.

Small Arms Division from page 1

Pistol Pete from page 1

Ms. Frizzle’s bus flies out of President Stokes’ ear on Main Campus on Friday, March 29.

Valeria Brenes/ Daily Lobo/ @DailyLobo

By Nate Bernard @DailyLobo

Hear ye, hear ye! Our noble queen, Garnett Stokes, proclaims the entry of the University of New Mexico

into jousting tournaments following a dire prophecy uncovered by the wizards. These tournaments shall commence upon the eve of the blood moon, where challengers from neighboring universities and local warlords shall vie for glory.

Whilst the tournaments shall primarily revolve around the noble sport of jousting, there shall also be contests of poem recitation and the drawing forth of the legendary sword, Excalibur, Stokes declared.

The victors of these contests shall be bestowed with scrolls detailing fantastical quests, wherein the true reward lies in the friends they made along the way, Stokes declared.

Yet, the decision of Stokes hath stirred conflict amongst the wizards, however their ancient adversary, Sardruk the man-eating dragon, doth express favor towards this proclamation.

“I’m really not a bad guy. ‘Tis heartening to witness mankind pursue their happiness,” Sardruk declared.

Despite Sardruk not being a bad guy, they did lay waste to UNM’s prior endeavor, the excavation of the dungeon of business majors. The wizards pray that the tournament grounds shall be fashioned from sturdier materials than straw and wood, as per the decree of their headmaster, Draco.

UNM’s entry into competitive sports excludes notable entries such

as gymnastics and men’s soccer for an actual sport that involves skill –jousting. Jousting tournaments will increase Stoke’s shillings used for warring against rival New Mexico State University, per Stokes.

Yet, the prophecy of the wizards foretells of a formidable player from the New Mexico State University, Albus by name, who shall unite the realm – a prophecy that troubles Stokes. Nevertheless, she avows that an army of ghouls, funded by the tournament’s proceeds, shall suffice to thwart Albus’ ambitions.

As for the orphaned blacksmith, Albus, who hath recently discovered his powers, declined to comment on the ghoul army coming hath way.

In her decree, Stokes hath appointed Arthur of Camelot as the head coach of the jousting team, a decision that spurred Knight Jaelen House to pledge allegiance to UNM’s jousting cause alongside Sir Lancelot.

Former coach and Lord Danny Gonzales hath raised an army to usurp Stokes, proclaiming, “It is unjust that Stokes would overlook me

in spoiling yet another sports season for UNM.”

The ranks of the poem team are filled with sirens who bewitch sailors to their doom and the cunning wolf who assumed the guise of Little Red Riding Hood’s grandmother. As for the Excalibur-pulling team, their composition remains undisclosed.

The tournament grounds shall be erected upon Johnson Field, boasting stables, a jousting arena and a tavern haunted by an ancient specter. The funds for this endeavor shall be drawn from the pockets of the English department, amounting to 20,000 shillings, per official plans.

The diversion of funds from the study of English shall not cause strife within the University for, as Stokes declares, “English majors should already possess mastery of their tongue.”

Nate Bernard is a beat reporter with the Daily Lobo. He can be reached at news@dailylobo.com or on Twitter @DailyLobo

Opinion: Football is too complicated and I don’t like it

By Shin Thant Hlaing @DailyLobo

After years of analysis (I watched a 30-minute video of NFL highlights), I’ve come to the conclusion that football is too complicated and I don’t like it. There, I said it – this is a fully legitimate expert opinion. I actually would’ve made it to the big leagues if it weren’t for my knee injury.

First of all, being able to enjoy the game is entirely dependent on an understanding of the imperial measurement system, which most of the world no longer uses. Well, that and beer consumption. And a bowl of nachos.

Football is just doing too much trying to be both soccer and rugby. Yes, you’ve all heard that before. But this gets even worse when you realize that rugby was birthed from playing soccer wrong, and then realizing football was birthed from playing rugby and soccer wrong.

Football is the product of snotty Ivy League kids creating sport incest, and that completely checks out. Just like any incest-born child, it has a

bunch of weird, confusing mutations.

So much is happening during football games but, really, they do the same thing over and over again. A wise man once said that doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is insanity. That’s football.

You’re telling me I have to sit through three hours of an imaginary line moving back and forth, people running into each other and a ball you can barely see? No wonder there needs to be a huge celebrity performance during halftime.

The games are too slow.

The biggest accomplishment is being able to fall down on a field the right way. Other sports celebrate your ability to not fall.The entire point of watching sports is to be entertained and amazed by what the human body and mind is capable of. Watching football only serves to set us back by, like, 1,000 years. In every other team sport, you exercise some level of control over your muscles by not doing something that’s intuitive.

If you don’t know anything about football, let me break it down for you. Essentially there’s a center line. You

128

30

get four downs. After doing all the hard work to get four downs, you are rewarded with… the chance to get four more downs. But that basically gets you into a sport where it’s insanely difficult to not get stuck in a stalemate.

The players are way too specialized. In other sports you have offensive and defensive. Simple. But no, not in American football.

Heck, let’s play a game of “Which of These Options are Fake Positions in Football.”

A) Quarterback B) Nickelback (yes, like the artist)

C) Silver back

D) Cornerback E) Running back

If you chose anything other than C, you’d be wrong. But other than these positions, we also have wide receiver, running back, linebacker, tight end, defensive end, full back, cornerback, nickelback, punter, punt returner, kick returner, placekicker, guard, offensive linemen, holder, long snapper, safety, free safety.

It’s impossible to know who’s an end and who’s a back while you’re

watching the game. They all just look the same because they’re all doing the same things for the most part. Let’s not even get started on all the different ways you can get a penalty. You can look at a referee wrong and have your team be sent back 15 yards.

If you’re a medieval king who enjoys watching men give each other concussions, this is the sport for you.

Shin Thant Hlaing is a football expert and freelance reporter at the Daily Lobo. She can be reached at news@ dailylobo.com

Mackenzie Schwartz / @artkenzie / Daily Lobo

Valeria Brenes/ Daily Lobo/ @DailyLobo

Two jousters prepare for battle on Johnson Field on Friday, March 29.

Another Rapture caught many students off guard when the LoboAlerts warning system failed to go off in a timely manner, causing many to be stuck in apocalyptic situations.

“When I saw that the sky had turned dark and hordes of locusts were emerging from everywhere, I thought to myself, it would have been nice to know about this an hour ago,” Hellen Fyre, a University of New Mexico junior, said.

Fyre, like many students, was disappointed by the lateness of the LoboAlert, which should warn students before they go into potentially hazardous conditions, such as hellfire erupting from the ground, she said.

“Had I known, I probably would have just slept in and not even tried to go to my 9:30 calc class,” Fyre said.

UNM security officer Joseph Gourd said that despite the frequency, Raptures can be difficult to predict.

“We try to let students know as soon as we can. We were just as caught off guard by the torrential rain of sinners’ blood as the students were. We’re not gifted with clairvoyance. Maybe if we

were, we’d stop crimes before they happen,” Gourd said.

Students remain frustrated, however, with the lack of communication from the University about regular emergencies, such as amphibian rain.

“It’s just weird that no text alert went out, no alarms have sounded. I heard the trumpets of Saint Peter way before I got any official messages from the University,” Fyre said. “It’s been raining blood and amphibians for at least two hours now. Even if an alert went out, the Rapture is the kind of thing you want to know about beforehand. What am I supposed to do now? Repent? Seems like too little, too late.”

For those unaware of the ongoing catastrophe, another Rapture has started. Be on the lookout for frogs falling from the sky, ominous red lightning and the water in the duck pond being turned to blood.

“Oh look, here’s the alert,” Fyre said. “‘Divine justice activity everywhere. Students are advised to remain indoors.’”

Be sure to sign up for LoboAlerts to be alerted to time-sensitive safety concerns, eventually. Or don’t. It’s not like it matters. There are none sinless among you. None shall be spared.

Addison Fulton is a freelance reporter for the Daily Lobo. She can be reached at culture@dailylobo.com

CHRISTUS

STEM in the sky, humanities in the hollows

By Shin Thant Hlaing @DailyLobo

The University of New Mexico has unveiled a new infrastructure plan in which Science Technology Engineering and Math (STEM) buildings will float a mile above ground and humanities buildings will be relocated to underground tunnels to shield students from the STEM jet flames.

“STEM subjects are the future and we need to show our support for our STEM students by giving them an educational experience with state of the art technology: jetpacks,” UNM President Garnett Stokes said. ”We must also, as the flagship university of the state, demonstrate a decisive superiority over New Mexico State University.”

The decision to place the social sciences, fine arts and music departments into the tunnel system came from a need to protect students and faculty members from consistent exposure to the heat produced by the floating STEM buildings, Stokes said.

“We literally just wanted free parking,” Ruppert Dillon, a UNM environmental science student, said.

STEM students are now required to purchase jetpacks to make their

way to classes, according to the University’s press release. This has led to substantial tuition increases, as discussed in a recent Board of Regents meeting.

“As if being pre-med wasn’t expensive enough,” Dillon said.

The New Mexico State Capitol agreed to fund the plan because it could bring significant amounts of tourism.

“These floating STEM buildings can drive tourism to New Mexico and increase enrollment at UNM. The tour groups are going to love this,” Riley Kappa, New Mexico state senator, said.

The Farris Engineering Center was the first to benefit from the renovations. The eyesore of a building is now levitating on a circular hunk of metal with blue flames emanating from the bottom. The Physics & Astronomy and Interdisciplinary Science building is the next to follow, the University announced in its press release.

“We have been imprisoned for our choices,” Duncan Renold, a faculty member from the English department, said.

Students flying down from the engineering area of campus to the Student Union Building has become a common sight.

There are also new spare jetpack stations where non-STEM students can rent jetpacks with their UNM ID to get to gen-ed classes or advising appointments.

Duz Entshawar, a computer science student, said he enjoys using the jetpacks.

“I mean, I like pretending that I’m Iron Man. It brings me closer to the future I envision for myself. Maybe if I pass all my classes, I’ll eventually become a billionaire inventor superhero too,” Entshawar said.

Noah Ital, a second year political science major, appeared to have an opinion on the renovations and begged for a chance to comment.

“Well I think that–” Ital said, but this was all we were able to get before the sound of the jetpacks drowned him out.

Some parties on campus voiced environmental concerns, including environmental science students.

“I’m not a sustainability expert, but I don’t think using jet fuel to get to class every day is very sustainable,” Dillon said.

Protests by environmental science students and faculty have been chalked up to jealousy, according to Stokes.

Oil companies have come out in

support of the decision.

Sandia National Laboratories has declined to respond to requests for comment.

Music students said they haven’t really noticed any changes, stating that the tunnels feel exactly like the basements of Popejoy Hall. There is minimal ventilation in the tunnels.

Student Health and Counseling now offers burn ointments and flame retardant suits, and is receiving more visits for dental checkups than ever.

“I’m getting bugs in my teeth,” Randy Billon, a tuba player, said.

While the infrastructure plan comes with numerous costs, the University administration supports it.

“It makes us look good,” Stokes said.

Shin Thant Hlaing is a freelance reporter at the Daily Lobo. She can be reached at news@dailylobo.com

thinking about getting tested for HIV.

is better than not knowing, and it only takes about

to

Katrina Estrada / @rinaphoto / Daily Lobo UNM STEM buildings float in the sky while non-STEM students remain underground on Main Campus on Saturday, March 30.

Hemp House & Smoke Shop Hemp House & Dispensary

Wed: 10am-7 pm 2639 San Mateo Blvd NE, 87110 Mon: 10am-7 pm

ASUNM Southwest Film Center View the movie schedule at swfc.unm.edu

SUB Theatre, Room 1003

ASUNM Community Experience: Spring Storm City wide cleanup volunteering event April 13, 2024

Check-in at 8:30 AM

Joy Junction Thrift Shoppe Open Mon-Sat 9AM-7AM 11030 Menaul Blvd NE 87112

Thursday

Test With Truman Be Empowered. Know Your Status. Walk in HIV Testing

Thursday: 5pm-7pm 801 Encino Pl NE

Quirky Used Books & More Books, Puzzles, Stickers, Mugs, Etc. Thu: 11am – 6pm 120 Jefferson St NE

Raw Greens Dispensary, Hemp House & Smoke Shop

Flower to the People!

Thu: 10am-7 pm 2639 San Mateo Blvd NE, 87110

Outpost Performance Space Student tickets only $15 outpostspace.org

Sunshine Theater Steve Hofstetter April 4th 2024 · 8:00pm $30 - $140 · 7:00pm Doors · 21+ Ages 120 Central Ave

UNM sorority hosts fight club for rush season

By Addison Fulton @DailyLobo

“I

Kayleigh Smith that was leaked to the Daily Lobo. Smith is just one of many students preparing to make the most out of their college experience, hoping to join one of the University of New Mexico’s several sorority houses. And if you really want something, you’ve got to fight for it.

Current Exhibits

MFA Thesis Exhibition

During rush season at UNM, potential new members (PNM) of a sorority compete for a space in one of the houses.

Most sororities opt to have obstacle courses, scavenger hunts and pageants to vet potential new members, but one UNM sorority, Alpha Upsilon Sigma (YAS), is taking a different approach: a fight club, according to the leaked messages from YAS sisters.

Greek Life, according to Brinleigh Pitt, President of YAS, is one of the best things you can do in your college experience. It’s a great way to make new friends and meet new people. The only downside is, everyone wants a piece of the action, Pitt said.

The Daily Lobo organized an interview with Pitt who said she is above all consequences.

“It’s a pretty brutal competition, but we only want the best of the best,” Pitt said. “It’s a great way to test the girls’ resourcefulness, determination and skill in hand-to-hand combat.”

YAS’s PNMs face round after round of winner-takes-all type combat until all slots are filled. They will then be granted a place of honor among warriors, a cute little sash and invites to all the good parties, Pitt said.

“Everything is on the table. No rules, just right (hooks). You can hold rolls of quarters when you throw punches, pull hair and earrings, bite, use your acrylics as claws, hit below

the Free People braided pleather belt. It gets dirty, and we encourage it,” Pitt said.

Before the battle, PNMs are paired in brackets for several rounds of fighting. Later rounds are bracketed by skill level, while the earlier ones are decided by pitting girls with the same favorite cocktail against each other, Pitt said.

“Sisterhood isn’t all fun and games. But, we don’t do psychological warfare. You can’t seduce any of the other girls’ boyfriends or fathers. We do blood sports here, but we’re not bullies. That’s what sets us apart from other sororities. It’s like, come on, let’s fight like girls – with the viciousness of a trapped animal and the might of a thousand dying stars,” one anonymous combatant said.

The next round of the tournament is held in an abandoned mud-volleyball court, for those hoping to see the action firsthand, Pitt said.

“First rule of sorority fight club is don’t talk about sorority fight club,” the anonymous combatant said. She requested anonymity, as she was breaking the first rule and those girls are scary. “Second rule of fight club is to have fun and be yourself. Third rule of fight club is you can’t wear pink because I’m wearing pink. You can do blue or purple or something.”

Addison Fulton is a freelance reporter for the Daily Lobo. She can be reached at culture@dailylobo.com

Monday-Sunday, April 01-07, 2024 Events are free unless otherwise noted!

Milton Snow in Diné Bikéyah

Through May 3

Maxwell Museum of Anthropology

Through April 5 fourteenfifteen gallery “How we hold the sun” by Anna Rotty.

Life Expectancy: Advanced Photo

Exhibition

Through April 11

John Sommers Gallery

Opening reception: April 4th, 5-7 pm. Refreshments will be provided.

Contaminated: An Honors Thesis

Exhibition

Through April 12

Masley Gallery Exhibit is by Lauren Reddington.

Borders: Created, Contested & Imagined Exhibit

Through April 17

Zimmerman Library Learning

Commons

A thought-provoking exploration of the dynamic interplay between maps and the societies they represent.

Gift Horse

Through April 19 6th Street Studio

Friday & Saturday 9am- 5pm

Trzy Siostry (Three Sisters) by Drew Trujillo

Through April 20 1 Civic Plaza NW, Suite 140

In the heart of an enchanted forest “Trzy Siostry (Three Sisters)” captures the essence of folklore and forgotten voices, crafting a performance of joy, loss, and the enduring spirit of unity.

Hulsman Undergraduate Library Research Award Winner Exhibit

Through April 30

Zimmerman Library

An exhibit celebrating the 2024 winners of the Hulsman Undergraduate Library Research award winners. On display in Zimmerman Library Learning Commons.

The Glasgow School of Art

Through May 1

University of New Mexico

Based on Glasgow, the studiobased teaching and worldleading research spans art, design, architecture, innovation and technology, making a significant difference to contemporary society.

“Nothing Left for Me”: Federal Policy and the Photography of

This exhibition foregrounds Diné perspectives on the intersecting and ongoing legacies of both photography and American colonialism.

Hindsight Insight 4.0

Through May 11

UNM Art Museum

The UNM Art Museum’s Hindsight

Insight 4.0 exhibition, featuring portraits, landscapes, and abstract artworks, delves into narratives about racism, colonialism, and gender stereotypes, highlighting curatorial authority and institutional voice.

Ancestors

Through May 11

Maxwell Museum of Anthropology

This exhibit will introduce our ancestors and close relatives, first came the early apelike Australopithecus (A.)* afarensis and A. africanus; these eastern and southern African relatives were the earliest humans. Admission is free.

People of the Southwest

Through May 11

Maxwell Museum of Anthropology

The exhibition celebrates the cultural history of the Southwest, especially the close relationship southwestern people have had with the land around them.

Pelton & Jonson: The Transcendent

1930s

Through May 11

UNM Art Museum

Paintings, drawings, and archival materials from the UNM Art Museum collection to illustrate the aesthetic achievements and personal connections between American painters Agnes Pelton (1881-1961) and Raymond Jonson (1891-1982).

Cuneiform and Cultural Heritage: Writing, New Ways of Being, and Displaced Artifacts

Through October 31

Maxwell Museum of Anthropology

This exhibition highlights the eight cuneiform tablets in the Maxwell Museum collections and attempts to uncover their journey to Albuquerque.

Pedacitos de Resistencia: Socially Engaged Work in Latin American Special Collections

Through December 2024 Zimmerman Library, Frank Waters Room Offers archival snapshots, pieces

of collections to briefly showcase how socially engaged work can capture different histories, narratives, and imaginaries.

mesons, the ATLAS Experiment at the LHC, and Development of Silicon Detectors for Future Particle Physics Experiments.”

TUESDAY

Lectures & Readings

Thesis/Dissertation Presentations

9:30 – 10:30am Hibben, Room 320

Erin Berkowitz, Interdisciplinary: A.S, presents, “Uncovering Over 150 Years of Herbarium Specimen Data to Examine the Impacts of Climate Change on Alpine Plant Phenology in the Southern Rocky Mountains.”

Thesis/Dissertation Presentations Johnson Center, Room 120 10:00 – 11:00am Martin Vasquez, Health Exercise & Sports Sciences, presents, “Exploring Ethnically Diverse Teacher Socialization.”

Thesis/Dissertation Presentations

Hodgin Hall, Presidents Boardroom 11:00am – 12:00pm

Leo Williams, English, presents, “PANG.”

Thesis/Dissertation Presentations Farris Engineering Center, Room 2550 11:00am – 12:00pm

Rowdy Davis, Interdisciplinary: Engineering, presents, “Improving Criticality Safety Benchmark Coverage by Developing a Benchmark Evaluation of the UNM AGN-201M Reactor.”

Thesis/Dissertation Presentations PAIS, Room 1010 1:00 – 2:00pm

Claire Doherty, Biology, presents, “New Insights into T LymphocyteMediated Immunity to Toxoplasma gondii.”

Nuclear Engineering Seminar Farris Engineering Center, Room 2500 2:00 – 3:15pm

Lumin Wang, University of Michigan, presents

Campus Events

Crafternoon 12:00-1:00pm Women’s Resource Center

All supplies provided and no artistic ability required. Attend one or all sessions, no commitment necessary.

Fulbright Day 4:00 – 6:30pm

Honors College Forum This is an annual celebration of Fulbright programs. The Fulbright recipients and interested faculty, students, ABQ community will be invited. This event is hosted by the CAELD and Provost office.

WEDNESDAY

Campus Events

President’s Traveling Office Hour

10:30 – 11:30am

Honors College Forum

NM President Stokes will spend an hour in the Honors College for her Traveling Office Hours. She will talk informally with Honors College faculty, staff, and students to learn more about the concerns and aspirations for the university in the HC Forum.

Maria Varele & Moises Morales: Land Grant Struggle Round Table 12:00 – 2:00pm

TBD

Belonging Beyond Cancer Support Group 1:00 – 2:30pm

UNM Comprehensive Cancer Center Support group facilitated by UNM CCC staff and a cancer survivor. Open to all cancers, genders, stages & caregivers.

Theater & Film

Mid Week Movies: Mean Girls

6:00-9:00pm

SUB Theater Cady Heron, a new student, joins the Plastics, an elite group of popular girls, ruled by Regina George, but accidentally falls for Regina’s

A promotional poster for sorority Alpha Upsilon Sigma (YAS) rush season.

Addison Fulton/ Daily Lobo/ @DailyLobo

UNM provides new grad student housing … underground

By Sadie Hopkins @DailyLobo

The University of New Mexico has released plans for a new solution to affordable housing for graduate students off campus – underground tunnels.

Recently, graduate students at UNM have voiced concerns about a lack of student housing. Anita Knapp, a representative for the United Graduate Workers of UNM, said that the uncertainty of housing has made her experience in graduate work strange and difficult.

“I’ve been living off of medical experiments for three months, so I could move into the tunnels, but I have since started to grow purple hair and extra appendages,” Knapp said.

Starting at a rate of $10,000, less than the typical cost of off-the-grid motorhome living, UNM has relocated grads living on campus to open floor plan apartments located in underground tunnels surrounding UNM, according to the University’s press release.

These tunnels house anywhere from 100 to 300 students, depending on how many of their belongings they plan to keep in their new homes, according to the University’s press release. Conditions are packed but terrible, Knapp said.

Students are given a bed frame, a safe and a lamp, free of charge. Mattresses must be provided by students. Each bed is separated by a curtain,

giving students the peace and privacy they need during their careers through graduate school, according to the lead developer of the Graduate Tunnel Project, Ritch Kid.

Knapp says that her apartment came with beautiful, colorful decor.

“I mean, at least the graffiti is fun,” Knapp said.

While the tunnels may not receive any heating or cooling elements, nor plumbing, gas or electricity, they are the solution to a problem – the end of a decade-long silent treatment between the University admin and grad students.

“Students should finally feel seen”, President Garrett Stokes wrote in a press release commenting on the broken silent treatment.

In a statement to the press last week, Kid said he wants grad students to know that their futures and best interests are always in mind and that there is no reason to slow down – encouraging students to fill their schedules and aim high.

“Graduate work really can’t be that hard,” Kid said.

Due to rapidly increasing enrollment numbers, students should plan to sign up for underground tunnel housing as soon as they get the chance, according to Kid.

“We can try to fit as many people as possible down there, but once it’s full, it’s full. Students will have to figure it out on their own,” Kid said.

Though this project was developed as an attempt to take some of the weight off the shoulders of graduate students, the funding came from an internal source, according to Kid.

“This project has been fully funded by borrowing a few bucks here and there from UNM staff,” Kid said. “We’re pretty sure they won’t notice.”

The tunnels are set to open up for

the next semester and will be first come, first serve. The silent treatment is now to be reinstated, according to Stokes’ press release.

“Complaints that are out of sight and earshot are complaints that are out of mind,” Stokes wrote.

Sadie Hopkins is a beat reporter for the Daily Lobo. She can be reached at culture@dailylobo.com

DAILY LOBO C ampus Calendar of Events

Monday-Sunday, April 01-07, 2024 Events are free unless otherwise noted!

Campus Calendar continued from page 12

are free for students but must be acquired online.

UNM Women’s Softball vs. San Diego State 2:00 – 3:00pm Lobo Softball Field UNM Women’s Softball faces off against San Diego State. Tickets are free for students but must be acquired online.

THURSDAY

Campus Events

Dr. Magadalena L. Barrera & Dr.

Thesis/Dissertation

Biology

Rachael Cassidy, History, presents, “D.C. Tribe: A Social History of Native Residents of Washington, D.C., 1839 to 1973.

Sports & Recreation

UNM Women’s Softball vs. San Diego State

12:00 – 1:00pm

Lobo Softball Field

UNM Women’s Softball faces off against San Diego State. Tickets

Genevive Gonzales The Latinx Guide to Graduate School Book

Presentation 10:00 – 11:30am

Zimmerman Library, Frank Waters Room

This session is for undergraduate students who are interested in graduate school, and who wish to learn more about what it means to navigate graduate school.

Dr. Magdalena L. Barrera & Dr.

Genevive Negrón-Gonzales: The Latinx Guide to Graduate School Book Presentation 12:00 – 1:30pm

El Centro

This working lunch is a space for graduate students to meet with the panelist to have a more intimate discussion about what it means to graduate students and how to navigate graduate programs.

Colorectal Cancer Support Group 2:00 – 3:00pm

UNM Comprehensive Cancer Center, Room 1048

In this group led by an oncology social worker & colorectal cancer survivor, people can share their personal experiences, ways of coping and helpful resources

The Latinx Guide to Graduate School Book Presentation 2:00 – 3:30pm

SUB Ballrooms A&B

Dr. Genevieve Negrón and Dr. Magdalena L. Barrera present the Latinx Guide to Graduate School to a broader audience seeking to learn more about how to support

undergraduate and graduate students.

Theater & Film

UNM Opera presents: Le Nozze di Figaro Keller Hall

7:30-10:30pm Comedic duplicity, jealousy, and love triangles abound in this story set to Mozart’s score. Directed by Olga Perez Flora and conducted by Kristin Ditlow, with the musicians of the UNM Symphony Orchestra. $20 general admission; $10 seniors, UNM employees, and students.

Workshops

Intro to Python - a hands-on workshop

3:30 – 5:30pm

Centennial Engineering Center 2080

An opportunity to gain experience, build your skill set, enhance your resume, and win a gift card.

Lectures & Readings

Thesis/Dissertation Presentation SLMC, Room 124 11:00am-12:00pm

Nathan Bianco, Mathematics & Statistics, presents, “Robust Prediction of Charpy Impact Toughness from Fractography Using Convolutional Neural Networks.”

OSE Seminar Series PAIS, Room 2540 12:45 – 1:45pm Dr. Chih-Hao Chang, Univesity Texas-Austin, presents.

Musicology Coloquium

Zimmerman Library

2:00 – 3:00pm

Mariusz Kozak, Columbia University, presents, “Bodies, Heavy Metal, and Music Theory, or How Headbanging Shapes Our Experience of Time.”

Composers Symposium

Kurt Fredrick Hall, Room B120

2:00 – 3:00pm

The host is Dana Wilson, Charles A. Dana Professor Emeritus at the

Ithaca College School of Music. 33rd Annual Research Days

3:30 – 4:30pm Castetter, Room 100

Dr. Aparna Bhaduri, University of California- Los Angeles, presents, “Understanding Cell Types in Human Cortical Development.”

CQuIC Seminars

3:30 – 4:30pm PAIS, Room 2540

Dr. Manuel Endres, California Tech, presents.

Physics & Astronomy Colloquium

PAIS

3:30 – 4:30pm

Dr. Manuel Endres, California Tech, presents.

Anthropology Seminar

6:00 – 7:00pm

Continuing Education North Building, Room B Dr. M. Kate Spradley, Texas State University, Licenciado Daniel JImenez, Instituto Nacional de Ciencias Forenses de Guatemala, and Dr. Nicholas P. Herrmann, Texas State University, present, “Incorporating Cultural Transformation in Forensic Casework: Insights from South Texas and Guatemala.”

Meetings

Study Abroad Book Club Mesa Vista Hall, 3rd Floor 4:00 – 5:00pm

A meet up to discuss Anu Taranath’s book, Beyond Guilt Trips: Mindful Travel in an Unequal World. Read and talk about one chapter from the book. These meetings will be facilitated by UNM study abroad advisors.

FRIDAY Campus Events

Biology Poster Presentations:

Ecology + Evolution I

8:30 – 9:30am

Castetter Hall Presenters: Jeremiah Westerman, Ryan Stumbaugh, O. Liota

Gongora Weinbaum, and Shayne Halter.

Biology Poster Presentations: Cell + Molecular

9:30 – 10:30am

Castetter Hall Presenters: Benjamin Garcia, Brendan Sanders, Marelessis Palomino, and Alexa Gonzalez.

Biology Poster Presentation: Ecology + Evolution II

10:45am – 12:00pm

Castetter Hall Presenters: Lisa Garcia, David Robinson, Jian Xiong David Tan, Ellie Larence, and Tatyana Falkowsky.

Mindful Looking with Justine Andrews 12:30 – 1:00pm

UNM Art Museum Justine M. Andrews, PhD, helps participants slow down, look closely, and experience works of art in a whole new way. Focuses on works of art in UNMAM’s current exhibition, Hindsight/ Insight 4.0: Portraits, Landscapes, and Abstraction from the UNM Art Museum.

Poster Session I 1:00 – 2:00pm

Castetter Hall

Presenters: Savannah Sanchez, Josh Lopez-Binder, Danielle Land, Ali Abouismail, Ethan Wilson, Janna Martinez, Leigh James, Marina Seheon, Brenda Ramos Villanueva, Bernadette Holberg, Zera Adame, and Roxanne Marquez.

Poster Session II 2:00 – 3:00pm

Castetter Hall

Presenters: Kyana Montoya, Elizabeth Walker, Esteban Restrepo Cortés, Kayley You Mak, Celina Eberle, Alan Ibarra, Huachan Liang, Mikayla Ranspot, Maria Nava Martinez, Spencer Moezzi, Caleb Keener, Ariadna Torres, Renae Simonson, and Adina Abudushalamu.

Campus Calendar continued on page 13

Aaron Beltran/ Daily Lobo/ @DailyLobo

Aaron Beltran/ Daily Lobo/ @DailyLobo

Aaron Beltran/ Daily Lobo/ @DailyLobo

Aaron Beltran/ Daily Lobo/ @DailyLobo

Exterior of tunnels’ Housing Option One on Thursday, March 28.

Exterior of tunnels’ Housing Option

March 28. Interior of tunnels’ Housing Option

graduate student housing in tunnels.

SHAC opens retirement center to accommodate wait times

By Maddie Pukite @Maddogpukite

The average age of students on campus is increasing to 190, meanwhile, Student Health and Counseling wait times are increasing as well.

To accommodate the wait, SHAC has opened retirement centers last Friday for students and has allegedly started an experimental drug trial in hopes of finding an anti-aging property.

The issue began on April 3, 2023 when four students all entered the waiting room at the same time for sprained ankles. Maria Barker, an injured student, said all hell broke loose when a box of a thousand unidentifiable tablet-sized medications fell off a shelf.

“As soon as the pills fell, we knew we would be in for the long haul. Everything was put on pause as the staff scrambled to pick up the meds one by one,” Barker said.

As the hours ticked by, Barker said more and more students began to file in with sprained ankles.

Word quickly got out that these pills allegedly had some type of anti-aging component. This led to a surplus of sprained ankles, according to an anonymous alum.

Approximately 200 students suffered from sprained ankles that day, according to documents from SHAC’s archive. Nancy Radar, the Director of SHAC, said the timing of the medication spill coinciding with these injuries led to a wait time of 15+ years.

“I cannot confirm nor deny whether

the fallen medication was anti-aging or not, but once word of what they might be got out, it only added to the wait times as we had students getting back in line to counteract the time lost in line,” Radar said.

As this rumor continued to spread, wait times skyrocketed to 50+ years, according to Radar.

In a bold move to counteract public protest of these wait times, Radar and their team have decided to implement retirement facilities to “appease the public,” she said.

The retirement facilities are to be constructed where Johnson Field once stood, due to its proximity to SHAC, as it will allow the aging population to be nearby when their number is called, Radar said.

Rupert Vincit first joined the line due to the original ankle incident, and

said the retirement facilities are actually just a renovated Johnson gym.

“When I was 70, the retirement facility might have been a nice touch. At that point, I still had hope, but at my age, I am just ready to graduate,” Vincit said.

For students in line at SHAC, graduation was pushed out of the picture. Days passed by as students checked the large deli counter-style number display to see if their number had finally been called, Vincit said.

“Since I was one of the original four, my number was called after 10 years – after all the medication was finally picked up. For others, they might not even receive their diploma in the same decade – maybe even century –they started school,” Barker said.

The retirement facilities are to be equipped with an Olympic-sized

pool and rates starting at 2,000 dollars a month. SHAC has stated in a press release that insurance would not be accepted to stay at the facility.

Students who were given the rumored anti-aging medication were forced to sign a non-disclosure agreement and are on a medical trial, according to documents acquired through a public records request.

“We only want to have the finest amenities available for our students. The proximity to SHAC is also useful as we have had a bizarre recent increase in students coming in with extra eyes, ears and fingers, claiming side effects,” Radar said.

Maddie Pukite is the editor-in-chief at the Daily Lobo. They can be contacted at editorinchief@dailylobo. com on Twitter @maddogpukite

DAILY LOBO C ampus Calendar of Events

Monday-Sunday, April 01-07, 2024 Events are free unless otherwise noted!

Campus Calendar continued from pg 13

EPS Graduate Research Symposium

2:00 – 6:00pm

Northrop Hall

There will be food, lab tours, short talks, industry connections, and more. Mineral sales hosted by AGGS. Silent auction in support of AGGS.

Contaminated: An Honors Thesis

Exhibition Opening Reception

5:00 – 8:00pm

Masley Gallery

Artist talk begins at 5pm.

Gift Horse Opening Reception

6:00 – 9:00pm

6th Street Studio

By Chloe Harken.

Theater & Film

UNM Opera presents: Le Nozze di Figaro

7:30 – 10:30pm

Keller Hall

Comedic duplicity, jealousy, and love triangles abound in this story set to Mozart’s score. Directed by Olga Perez Flora and conducted by Kristin Ditlow, with the musicians of the UNM Symphony Orchestra. $20 general admission; $10 seniors, UNM employees, and students.

Lectures & Readings

Thesis/Dissertation Presentations

12:15 – 1:15pm

Castetter Hall, Room 119

Andisheh Dadashi, Computer Science, presents, “A Computational Framework For Evolution in Complex Systems.”

Thesis/Dissertation Presentations

1:00 – 2:00pm

Northrop Hall, Room 115

Joshua Williams, Earth & Planetary Sciences, presents, “Unboxing the Complicated Near Term Climatic and Geomorphic History of Mars.”

Anthropology Colloquia Series

2:00 – 3:00pm

Hibben, Room 105

Dr. Sharon DeWitte, University of Colorado Boulder, presents, “Famine, Frailty, and Plague: Health and Demography in the Context of Medieval Mortality Crises.”

Economics Seminar

2:00 – 3:00pm

Economics, Room 1002

Dr. Siyu Pan, Northern Arizona University, presents, “Impact of Wildfires on Drinking Water Quality.”

Thesis/Dissertation Presentation

2:00 – 3:00pm

Ortega Hall

Luisa Hurtado Iglesias, Spanish & Portuguese, presents, “??Qu?? lengua hablas?: The Interaction of Languages, Education, and Identity in a Majority/ Minority Sociolinguistic Setting.”

Thesis/Dissertation Presentations

3:00 – 4:00pm

Engineering, Room 3031

Ossiris Sanchez Rodriguez, Civil Engineering, presents, “Longitudinal Spatial Trends in U.S. Bicyclist Fatalities, 2001-2020.”

33rd Annual Research Days

3:30 – 4:30pm

SMLC, Room 102

Dr. Nancy Johnson, Northern Arizona University, presents, “Mycorrhizae in Agriculture: Past, Present and Future.”

Mechanical Engineering Graduate Seminar

3:30 – 4:30pm

Mechanical Engineering, Room 218

Dr. Mia Naeini, University of South Florida, presents, “Analyzing Dynamics of Networked Systems Using Graph Signal Processing: Case Studies on Smart Grids.”

Physics and Astronomy Colloquium

3:30 – 4:30pm

PAIS, Room 1100

Dr. Manuel Endres, California Tech, presents.

Chemistry Seminar 4:00 – 5:00pm

Clark Hall, Room 101

Martin Gruebele, University of Illinois, presents.

Thesis/Dissertation Presentations

4:00 – 5:00pm

Humanities, Room 520 Cormac League, Linguistics, presents, “Negation in Dene Languages.”

Tennis Stadium

UNM Women’s Tennis faces off against San Diego State. Tickets are free for students but must be acquired online.

UNM Men’s Baseball vs. Sam

Houston State

12:00 – 1:00pm Santa Ana Star Field

UNM Men’s Baseball team faces off against Sam Houston State. Tickets are free for students but must be acquired online.

Theater & Film

UNM Opera presents: Le Nozze di Figaro 2:00 – 5:00pm Keller Hall Comedic duplicity, jealousy, and love triangles abound in this story set to Mozart’s score. Directed by Olga Perez Flora and conducted by Kristin Ditlow, with the musicians of the UNM Symphony Orchestra. $20 general admission; $10 seniors, UNM employees, and students.

Popejoy Presents: Forbidden Broadway 3:00 – 5:00pm

Popejoy Hall From Frozen to Phantom to Wicked, this fall-down funny, satirical roast of over 30 Broadway hits features outrageous costumes, silly spoofs of the songs, and madcap impressions. Tickets are $25 - $65.

How do you know what’s happening on campus?

This is it!

About the Daily Lobo Campus Calendar of Events

The Daily Lobo Calendar coordinator combs through 70 UNM calendars to find events for you!

Here are the restrictions for what appears in the Daily Lobo Calendar of Events:

* Events must be sponsored by a UNM group, organization or department

* Classes, class schedules, personal events or solicitations are not eligible.

* Events must be of interest to the campus community.

* Events must not require pre-registration.

* Events do not have to be free—if there is a cost, it will be noted.

Did we miss your event?

Email us at calendar@dailylobo.com

Katrina Estrada / @rinaphoto / Daily Lobo

Three senior citizens wait in line outside of SHAC on Saturday, March 30.

Apartments

2BDRM APARTMENT NEAR UNM. Off street parking, oak floors, $895/mo. sagebrush@tutamail.com

Rooms for Rent

HEY STUDENTS! YOU can place FREE ads in this classifieds category?

Ads must be 25 words or less. To get your free ad, email classifieds@ dailylobo.com from your UNM

dailylobo.com from your UNM email or come by Marron Hall room 107 and show your UNM ID.

Services

MATHEMATICS, STATISTICS TUTOR. Billy Brown PhD. College and HS. Telephone and internet tutoring available. 505-401-8139, welbert53@aol.com

?BACKPACK BUSTED? ABQ Luggage & Zipper Repair. 136 Washington SE Suite G. 505-620-7220. ABQREPAIR.COM

Your Space

PLACE ADS IN this category! Ads must be 25 words or less. Email classifieds@ dailylobo.com or call 505-277-5656