ISSUE 10
THE
A MAGAZINE BY CONNECT GLOBAL
THE
A MAGAZINE BY CONNECT GLOBAL
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GIVING THANKS Drawi ng connecti ons between our grati tude and our ci rcumstances.
03
THE PRIVILEGE OF PRESSURE How to vi ew the pressures we face as a pri vi l ege and not an i mpedi ment.
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BEYOND THANKSGIVING Our grati tude shoul d go beyond Thanksgi vi ng.
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PRACTICING GRATITUDE A new Bi bl e App Pl an you can j oi n us i n readi ng thi s month.
PARTNER WITH US
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We are so grateful for our fri ends and partners who make thi s work possi bl e. COVER PHOTO: Javier and Danielle Mendoza with Professor Maria and our National Director, Jorge Amador BACK COVER PHOTO: Danielle Mendoza in Honduras with students at Republica de Alemania School
Editor in Chief Javier Mendoza
Contact PO BOX 47381 Tampa FL 33646
Writers, Contributors, and Editors Danielle Mendoza Jordyn Conley Dr Bridget King Alicia Arthur
(214) 725-4352 Email: hello@connectglobal.org Website www.connectglobal.org
LETTER FROM THE EDITOR
Giving
Thanks
Always be joyful. 17 Never stop praying. 18 Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. -- 1 Thessalonians 516-18 I have so much to be thankful for. I am blessed with a wonderful friend and spouse, Danielle, who loves me unconditionally. We have a beautiful daughter, Saige, who is one of a kind and truly exudes grace and compassion in all she does. We have a
My father was the real deal. He was a great husband to my
wonderful organization in which we are able
mother, a great father to me, and most cherished, He was a
to positively impact thousands each year.
wonderful grandfather to my daughter Saige. The years of investments he made in each of us who knew and loved him
This month many of us will intentionally
were innumerable. His impact on my life is forever going to have
draw connections to the things both
an influence on every decision I make.
intangible and tangible that give us a reason for being grateful. We will gather our family
I can give thanks for his life and the journey we shared together,
and friends around our tables and give
I can give thanks for his input in my life and what I witnessed
thanks for the positive and beautiful things in
him give and sacrifice for those around him. I can, on good days,
our lives. I trust this happens in your house
even give thanks for the profound grief I have because he is not
more often than during the month of
here anymore.
Thanksgiving here in the US but at least it is a good bet that one of these days this month
I give thanks for this grief because it represents how much I
will at least be set aside for a special
loved and was loved by my father. I know that is not everyone's
emphasis on the good.
story but it is my story. I was parented well and I have felt great gratitude for the 38 years I got to spend with my dad. This
This time of year can also be hard on many. I
amount of grief and sadness only exists because he existed, and
realize that the holiday season is not all
not only existed but because he excelled at his relationship with
merry and bright for everyone. Some of us
me.
associate this time of year with the loss and tragedies we face too. Maybe your holiday
While this month represents all the good things I have in my life
table seats one less this year. Maybe this time
it also represents the life lived and the love given by one of the
of year is affected by more loss than you
greatest people I ever knew. I will forever be glad that I had the
might be ready to share at this point. I want
father I did. I wish I could have more time with him. I wish I
to encourage you that even in the loss and
could have him over this thanksgiving. I wish I could go and
even in the dark you can give thanks.
borrow his ladder to help hang the lights I have been putting off this week. I wish I could grab a cup of coffee with him and enjoy
My father passed away in November of 2020
the slightly cooler weather out on the patio. The best I can do is
this month for me is filled with exuberant joy
to give thanks for all the times I did share with him and the
for what I have and terrible grief for what is
gratitude that fills the room now will have to do until I see him
missing. I recently have found a way to be
again.
grateful for the grief I feel and I will tell you why.
THE CONNECTION MAGAZINE |
NOVEMBER 2022
LEADERSHIP
THE PRIVILEGE OF PRESSURE Pressure is an inevitable part of this life, what is the variable: how we handle the pressure, and whether we see it as a hindrance or a privilege.
By Javier Mendoza
I read once that Billie Jean King was quoted as calling pressure a privilege. As a former no. 1 tennis player with 39 majors to her name I think she would be well versed with what pressure feels like. Why then would she call it a privilege and how can we see the pressure we are under in the same way? Pressure can mount from many different sources. We feel pressure to be good parents or to make sure that we are good providers. We feel the pressure of society at times to have a nicer car or a bigger house. We can even feel self-imposed pressure to do better at our job or make a difference in this world. I wrote in, "Under Pressure",
I am not defined by the trouble that befalls my journey but by the way in which I respond to the pressure. In that article and from this quote I am trying to convey a sense that pressure is not the antagonist we have been conditioned to think it is. Pressure is a mirror in which we see the refelction of ourselves for better or for worse. I have a reputation for not always handling pressure well.
THE CONNECTION MAGAZINE
I can get worked up pretty quickly when the heat rises. I am not proud of this fact but I am aware of it and have learned over the years to harness pressure better and use it to form better responses. This has helped in every aspect of my life. As I try to visualize pressure as a privilege and not a hindrance it has helped me understand that it is not something to be avoided but It is something to lean into and make work for me not against me. Pressure is usually a precursor of growth or significant change. Think about a time in your life when you experienced a great change whether a new job, or a new position -- moving to a new house or maybe even your last "milestone" birthday. Probably you felt an amount of pressure leading up to those life events. You felt tension and maybe uneasiness at the prospect of learning something new or being in a new group. Sometimes the pressure is greater than the change required because of our anticipation of the event. We can work ourselves into an amount of pressure that may not even be fully representative of the impending change.
Another thing that I have learned about pressure is that it is relative. Pressure for the things you do are relative and unique to the changes and battles you are facing. Everybody handles pressure differently. Also, you handle pressure differently today than maybe you did 5 or 10 years ago. Our perspective is always unique to our circumstances and what may seem like a ton of pressure to us in the moment may seem like nothing to someone else. Likewise, we can look at someone else's life and scoff at what seems to break others. The fact is though, you have never been in their shoes. It is imsossible to really put yourself in their position because so much has come bofere that you werent there for. I remember "controversy" last year and the millions of opinions that swirled around the planet in what seemed like a just 24 hours when it was announced that Simone Biles was withdrawing from the Tokyo Olympics.
"Physically, I feel good. I'm in shape," she told a journalist upon her exit "Emotionally, it varies on the time and moment. Coming to the Olympics and being head star isn't an easy feat." I read and heard first hand people critique her descion in the moment and afterward. People in sports journalism and armchair critics alike mentioned how she shouldn't have given up or quit on her teammates. Most of the commentary of course came from places and people who have never and will never be in a position of this type of pressure but they felt they were in a position to create narrative around her descion all the same. Biles later said, “I was like, ‘I am not in the right headspace,’ I am not going to lose a medal for this country and these girls because they’ve worked way too hard to have me go out there and lose a medal.” She knew what it had taken to get to this point and she knew what it would take to get to the next level. She realized that in herself something was just "not clicking" and that meant she had to make a decision. Either keep going and risk injury, or loss of a chance at medal or step out and allow the team to forge on ahead.
Simone Biles pulls out of team final citing mental stress © Loic Venance/AFP/Getty
That is what leaders do. Great leaders live in and even sometimes create the pressure necessary to achieve greatness and know when to turn up the heat and when to step out of the flames all together. It is not about living without pressure, none of us ever will, instead it is about each of us taking that pressure head on and still being able to make the best decision possible despite the mounting pressure of opinions and critics. It will always be easier to critique than create and so we will always have to contend with the armchair experts second guessing our decisions. We can rest assured that as long as we are creating a constructive pressure for ourselves we will continue to grow and can meet that pressure head on. In times of high stress we often allow pressure to build up with no proper release valve and when things start to heat up our lid blows. I want to encourage you to identify the areas in which there are pressures and stressors that are good and learn to operate within those areas. Learn ways to cope and release the pressure when needed. Allow others into the conversation when needed and listen to those you trust who may be able to see your scenario from a slightly different perspective. In this life there will be stress and pressure. If you can learn to see pressure as a privilege and not an impediment you will be able to see all the obstacles in your path as opportunities to make a true impact and leave a legacy full of success for those coming behind you.
Routes to progress and success often take detours. Never is there a straight path toward either of them. And in those unscheduled stops and perceived pauses, that’s where “progress” is thwarted — I call these moments, Crushing moments.
TURN PRESSURE INTO POWER via the Bible App by Bishop TD Jakes
They seek to threaten and destroy our journey from what we’ve determined is our destination. But crushing moments are never truly the end. Rather, the crushing becomes the creation of something new. They reveal there is more to our lives than what we had planned.
Would you read the bible plan, "Crushing: God Turns Pressure into Power", with us?
GRATITUDE GOES BEYOND THANKSGIVING BY DR. BRIDGET KING
Gratitude goes beyond Thanksgiving! During the month of November, we often are encouraged to express what we are thankful for in our lives. You hear phrases like be thankful, show gratitude, have an attitude of gratitude. But gratitude is not something seasonal, nor should it be something we stumble upon or demonstrate out of a sense of duty. Once again let's make sure we define the terms we so glibly throw around. M e r r i a m - W e b s t e r ” s d e f i n i t i o n o f T h a n k f u l: conscious of benefit received, expressive of thanks, well pleased. Grateful: appreciative of benefits received, affording pleasure or contentment, pleasing by reason of comfort supplied or discomfort alleviated.
Dr King spent her formative years in Chicago, Illinois. Upon graduation from high school she attended a small liberal arts college in Bloomington, Illinois graduating with BA in Biology in 1983. Dr King subsequently matriculated from The University of Iowa, Carver College of Medicine in 1987 with a Medical Degree. With the desire to pursue primary care she completed Family Medicine residency in 1990, practicing family medicine initially with a HMO. Finding her niche in education she joined the faculty at Akron General Family Medicine residency; during her tenure she held a faculty position at NEOUCOM,COM, and served as Interim Director of the Family Medicine Residency and obtained her MS Ed. After working in medical education for ten years, Dr King decided to work in public health with the desire to have a greater impact on the health of the community. She has worked in FQHC (Federally Qualified Health Centers) both as a staff physician and Clinical Medical Director. Upon retiring she now volunteers at Asheville Buncombe Community Christian Ministry medical ministry and teaches western physical exam skills at Daoist Traditions College of Chinese Medical Arts.
G r a t i t u d e: t h e s t a t e o f b e i n g g r a t e f u l , a feeling of appreciation. Our Creator was once again a marvelous designer and engineer. All cultures and religions encourage embracing gratitude. Gratitude is present regardless of and irrelevant to an outcome or promise of an outcome, whereas gratefulness is tied to and requires an event or object. Neuroscience has shown that gratitude has seven benefits: opens the door to more relationships, improves physical health, improves psychological health, improves selfesteem, enhances empathy and reduces aggression. Grateful people sleep better.
Circumstances for which we should give God thanks: For what He has done, things we have made it through because of God's providence. For what He is doing, things we are overcoming because of God's presence in our lives. For what God is going to do, things we are destined to do because of God's promises in His word to us individually and to mankind in general. THE CONNECTION MAGAZINE
—M a r k G i b b s , P a r a k l e s i s M i n i s t r i e s .
UCLA's Mindfulness Awareness Research Center showed that regularly expressing gratitude literally changes the molecular structure of the brain by increasing neural pathways (defined as emotions). It has been shown that the brain stem releases dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin when a habit of gratitude is adopted as well as showing that people who practice gratitude have larger gray matter in their brains.
GRATITUDE ENHANCES HAPPINESS, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. Dopamine contributes to feelings of pleasure and satisfaction as part of the reward system. Serotonin stabilizes mood, feelings of well-being and happiness. Helps with digestion and sleep. "Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow."
—Melody Beattie “The Difference Between Gratitude and Thankfulness" via Psychiatric Medical Care, Susan Rhoads, LCSW.
Oxytocin called the feel good hormone, promotes feelings of love, social bonding and well-being. Gratitude enhances happiness, not the other way around. Alex Korb, Ph. D. Author of 'Upward Spiral' professes: Gratitude boosts dopamine: ➢acts as antidepressant ➢ Improves sleep ➢ Reduces pain ➢ Improves mood ➢ Reduces anxiety ➢ Improves focus and planning ➢ Helps with decision making ➢ Further reduces and anxiety and improves enjoyment ➢ Gives more to be grateful for ➢ More likely to exercise and be social ➢ Keeps you Happier CONNECTGLOBAL.ORG
| AUGUST 2022
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with these local partners as well as others who see the value in caring for these moms.
PRACTICING GRATITUDE
We are talking about gratitude all month on the Connection Podcast
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