1 minute read
To My Ex Best Friend
Catie Lee Bellone ‘24
To my ex best friend,
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We’re a plane ride away from home, but you’re only 10 miles down the road. Yet, I haven’t heard from you this entire year. I saw you when I first stepped foot in Boston because I was the one who reached out, but not again since. I remember how ecstatic I was three years ago when I first learned we would end up in the same city. We said it was you and me against the world. The heartbreak still hasn’t dulled.
You were a large part of me realizing what it meant to be AAPI. My first real Chinese friend in our city which is 3% Asian, you helped me embrace instead of shrug off what made me different. You taught me our culture. You brought me into a community I thought I had no part in. Then, I introduced you to my Cantonese relatives, which meant the world to me. They still ask about you to this day, and it always stings.
I held you through your lowest times, called you every day, dropped everything to sit by your side, shared my family of unconditional love that you didn’t have. I wanted more than anything, would have done anything, for you to be okay. You have now found other people for your comfort, and I’m sincerely happy you have that. But at one point you trusted me more than anyone else, and selfishly, I can’t fathom why you don’t have space for me too.
When I told you I missed you, you said friendships ebb and flow. I took that as you moved on from me being a regular person in your life. But I still have the endless supply of green tea you brought back for me from China and the handcrafted chopsticks sitting in my dorm. So much time has passed, and you seem like you’re doing great. But I feel left behind, not ready to let these little reminders of you go.
Two years later, it still hurts more than any romantic breakup or loss I’ve ever endured. Because, you were my soulmate. And despite more and more time going by, I still can’t believe you when you said I did nothing wrong.
To my ex best friend, even years later, I still miss you more than words. I may never be a part of your life again, but I wish you nothing but joy. I will love you forever.
